#it doesn't have to be perfect it just has to exist

[phantom-chirp]

Something I think about a lot with Maruki's perfect reality thing in terms of Akechi is how like, defanged he is for lack of a better term. I know Maruki's actual reasoning for things like that is just that his perfect reality removes a lot of the trauma from people, so they would inherently act differently, but to me it ends up just pushing the idea of "you can't be happy the way that you are"

It's reflected in a lot of the characters honestly, since a lot of their trauma didn't happen or is covered up by the reality none of them are themselves. Aspects of their personality caused by the hardships they faced no longer exist

Sumire is also a big example of this. I could talk a lot about Sumire but in relation to this topic, again her perfect reality being one where she is not herself (literally) and doesn't have any of the past trauma or experiences that made her who Sumire is just pushes that idea even more, not even getting into how it also reinforces her own negative ideas about herself by Maruki doing that

In the perfect reality, Akechi and Sumire are both different people than who they actually are, so it's really not a reality in which they are happy, is it? "You're too broken of a person to ever be happy while being who you are" is the message that gets sent across to me, whether or not Maruki intended that

Sumire is Kasumi now, a happy and determined person who isn't bitter and angry and overwhelmed with grief about the death of her sister, a person who doesn't hate herself and a person who doesn't have those experiences. Someone who now never has the chance to explore who she really is and grow and face her struggles head on, someone who will never get to learn that she is worth more than she grew up believing, replaced by the sister who she always felt was better then her

Akechi is now a cheerful and kind person, a reflection of his Detective Prince act, who is no longer resentful and lonely, no longer traumatized from all the actions he had to take throughout his life and someone who could've found happiness if he just had more time. Someone who had people who accepted the parts of him that would make most view him as unworthy of affection, the less palatable person who longed for someone to want him, as he is, replaced by a version of him that's seen as easier to love

[tiredandoptimistic]

I am forever haunted by Nate and Tessa's fucked up and terrible sibling dynamic. Maybe it's just because I related to Tessa too hard when I was twelve and heard "this is her older sibling who's the coolest person in the world and reuniting with him is her number one priority" and went "yup, makes sense!" but his betrayal is genuinely one of the defining aspects of TID to me.

Sibling relationships are such an underexplored way to fuck somebody up in fiction, in my opinion. Nate has been the one constant in Tessa's life, and no matter how aware she was of his flaws that could never overrule the fact that he's her person. She trusts him on a fundamental level that she just can't experience with anyone else, and part of it is because of how fleeting all her other relationships have been, but a lot of it is just the fact that he's her brother and she's loved him for as long as she's been alive. More than that, she idolizes him. Her entire life crumbles around her when Aunt Harriet dies and she ends up held hostage by the Dark Sisters, but Nate is still there and perfect in her mind. He's her anchor when everything else goes insane; if she can just find her brother then things will be okay again. She's more able to handle her world being shattered by learning about the supernatural because all that magic shit is secondary to the fact that she needs to save Nate.

And then of course she does save him and he turns around to betray her. And again, it hits harder than any other betrayal possibly could because he's more important to her than anyone else could possibly be. By this point she's built up bonds with Will and Jem and the other people at the Institute, and eventually they all become woven into her being, but not when she's sixteen and has known them for a week.

Looking at it from Nate's perspective, the thing that's always fucks me up is the way he tries to convince himself that he sees Tessa as a monster. He's genuinely just a shitty enough person that he set his sister up to be a child bride for a mass murderer because of the payout, but he can't handle thinking of it that way so he clings to this idea that Tessa isn't really his sister, isn't really human. And while yes, that's biologically true (they're not even technically related to each other), it doesn't change the fact that they're siblings in every way that matters. She'll always be his little Tessie, even if he doesn't want to admit it, doesn't want to let himself be the villain in this situation. He does the same thing with Harriet, arguing that she deserved to die because of all her lies because otherwise he would need to admit that he killed his mother out of pure selfishness.

Nate isn't the most evil guy in the world, but he is greedy and allergic to principles. It's so much worse than if he never loved Tessa, because he does love her till the very end and that love just isn't enough to override the allure of wealth and power. That's always the most painful type of relationship to me; the one where a person has just enough good to make it impossible to unequivicobly hate them.

Maybe Will could just write Nate off as a terrible person, but Tessa will always know every detail of his best and kindest moments. I have to believe that he haunts Tessa for the rest of her immortal existence, this knowledge that the person who made her life worth living for the first sixteen years was the one to sell her out. All the pain in the world isn't enough to erase that bond; she'll always have to live with the memory of him dying in her arms, the knowledge that his goodness and love was just as genuine as his duplicity.

Yeah this ended up being a lot longer than I intended, I just have a lot of feelings about the Gray siblings. Nate wasn't a part of the world where Tessa eventually found a home, she'll never have anyone else who understands the knot of emotions surrounding him. She can get sympathy but never empathy. Yes the rest of the TID crew are aware of him, but they barely met him and she outlived all of them too. Nate's so lost in her past, I bet that most people don't even realize that she used to have a brother, that she grew up as a sister, as half of a set. She carries the Gray name forward through her immortal life, and nobody else knows about the family that used to share it. She's still got Jem and Magnus who have been her friends since she was a teenager, who keep the memory of Will and the others alive; but no one else was there for her childhood.

I'm not quite sure how to end this, I'm just feeling emotions about Tessa Gray on this fine Tuesday and felt like sharing them.

[matthewmoorwood]

Kettricken being the only 'royalty' to apologise to Fitz and see him as a human being with regrets about how they used his skills means so much to me. Most other characters saw his sufferings as a necessary evil but the scene where Kettricken grieves over Nighteyes which invites Fitz to grieve in the awful heaving sobs kind of way is so deeply important to me.

Like. So far only Beloved has been determined to remind Fitz that he is more than a tool in the Farseers hands, and now Kettricken THE QUEEN is also showing genuine sympathy for him.

RAAAH Fitz you deserve so much better than what you have.

As a sidenote, their friendship really does just add to the Wit being a metaphor for Queerness thing bc Kettricken saying "I am ashamed that you face such things seemingly alone. In truth I hate that such bigotry still exists in the Six Dutchies (...) I wished to let my Witted folk know that my justice was available to them."

LIKE.

Ofc Kettricken is hardly a perfect Queen, Robin Hobb has never written a perfect character in any of her books. but Fuck if it doesn't hurt to see yet another relationship that should have been beautiful and easy if Fitz hadn't had it beaten into him that he doesn't deserve companionship.

[zahri-melitor]

Finished Batman: The Knight.

Oh my god is this a good comic. It very much reminded me that Zdarsky and I are on very similar wavelengths in terms of what we look for in a story. This felt like, no joke, someone had picked my brain of what I expected to see and had envisioned existed during the events of Bruce's training quest, and presented it to me on a platter, divided between 9 separate masters, each chosen and elaborated out of various hints and suggestions over the years.

It wasn't perfect; some of these mentors and masters were in effect standing in as a summary of multiple known characters with these skillsets, while others altered and shifted earlier versions of this history to fit better. But it made for a coherent update, and cleaned up a lot of pre-Crisis and early post-Crisis conception of this period that no longer fitted together as neatly, and sorted out the timings, and made it make sense.

For instance, we know there are multiple single blow techniques, from various secret masters. Shiva knows most if not all of them, and we know of several different masters and traditions who have them (O-Sensei, Richard Dragon and Ben Turner: the Leopard Blow; Legless Master: the Whispering Hand; Master Kirigi: the Vibrating Palm Strike). Shiva also knows The Scapel, The Wind Through the Reeds, The Lion's Paw, Wave and Shore, and the Skullcrack.

But Bruce doesn't need to learn all of those in the course of this story. He needs to learn one, as a representation of that period of his education. And so Master Kirigi got pulled forward to be the representative of the set.

We got more Henri Ducard, and a Ducard that was back to his pre-Flashpoint version. We had Giovanni Zatara and Zatanna. We had Lucie as a stand in for Selina's teachers. We actually got two teachers in the realms of 'stupid shit Bruce has done to his brain': but in this case we got to offset Hugo Strange (who could not trick Bruce, and who must always fundamentally know who Bruce is even as nobody believes him) with Daniel Captio, who is allowed to train Bruce in weird mental techniques and stands in for everyone else (Professor Milo. Dr Hurt. Whoever convinced him to do the Thögal Ritual. Etc etc)

It was elegant. And I don't think it needed any more of Ra's and Talia in it than it had; indeed what we got was a tight compression of some Denny O'Neil and some Mike Barr Ra's story themes into the underlying fundamental origin of the relationship, but not a full discussion of all its features. There are so many more stories out there further elaborating on their many conflicts.

Also Zdarsky does love Tim so much and had fun with parallels and I laughed several times in issue 10 because apparently we were playing Like Father Like Son. Love some good family theming going on in Al Ghul conflict.

It's just been such a while since I had the experience of sitting down and reading a story that in many ways felt like something I had already believed, but had never seen spelled out, and knew that how I wanted it to go in my head contradicted some known comics beats. This smoothed those contradictions out and gave me how I had wanted to conceptualise all of this.

[ryuichirou]

Do you have any headcanons for your genderswapped twst ships?? Doesn't really matter which ones

I do, Anon! And you’re cruel, because I want to talk about everyone, and I am very bad at picking one option… So I ended up writing one hc for a bunch of ships. I don’t think I skipped any of our absolute favourite ones, but I definitely didn’t cover all the ships we love :( Sigh!

If you want to hear more about any of them, let me know! But also, feel free to read previous hcs posts about the girlies: 1, 2, 3.

Also! Some are horny, some of them are not, keep that in mind please.

Alright, so…

Azul/Idia – while Azul complains about Idia always wearing baggy “boy-ish” clothes, she actually enjoys it on some level; sometimes she expects Idia to open doors for her, sometimes she hugs her arm when they walk together, it’s like she automatically figures that she herself is “the lady” in their relationship with Idia. Which is a concept that only exists in Azul’s head: Idia knows that Azul isn’t a lady at all. All of the “girly” things she does are very performative, and in actuality, Azul is very dominant, bossy and not gentle at all! She is an aggressive beast that loves to fuck tomboys…

Jade/Idia – during their housewarden+vice-housewarden meetings, Idia sometimes watches Jade as she writes down things and gives Azul documents and forms and stuff. Is it because Jade is just that beautiful? Yeah, but not necessarily in a good way – to Idia, Jade feels otherworldly, but also kind of terrifying. Like a beauty from a horror movie. Since Idia watches everyone through her tablet, she feels safe when staring at Jade (she would’ve been scared to look at her irl), but one time Jade looked straight into the camera, and Idia got startled and fell from her chair. For some reason she felt the good kind of goosebumps at the same time…

Floyd/Idia – one time Idia was careless enough to mumble something about Jade being perfect for a cosplay of a certain character. She thought she said it very quietly, but Floyd did hear her, and immediately asked about what kind of character would be perfect for her, instantly adding that Idia can’t pick the same one she chose for Jade. Idia panicked and said that she needed some time to think about it… hoping that Floyd would just forget about it, but she kept appearing out of nowhere and asking this question for a couple of weeks. Sometimes she would show up with her buttons undone and without a bra or panties, as if that would inspire Idia to give her an answer. Idia never felt so intimidated before..!

Floyd/Riddle – one time they had a physical fight that turned too horny. Of course, Floyd wasn’t giving it her all because in terms of physical strengths she could easily snap Riddle in half, for the most part she was just having fun. But the way Riddle squeezed her thigh with her own thighs and aggressively rubbed against it, the way she grabbed her shirt and ripped it open, the way she bit her neck and viciously sucked on it (to make it hurt more, clearly) made it pretty obvious that poor Riddle doesn’t quite understand what she wants from Floyd. Of course, she punched and slapped her face a couple of times too, but that doesn’t make the situation any less horny! Well, Floyd did bite her ass (literally) as a revenge, but the moment she grabbed her between the legs, Riddle squealed, kicked her off (with a heel!) and ran away. What the hell was that? Mixed messages…

Trey/Riddle – Riddle is one of the few people in their dorm that isn’t aware (and doesn’t suspect) that Trey is into girls. To the majority of people it’s pretty obvious, but Riddle has absolutely no idea. It’s not like Riddle would react in a bad way, but whenever she casually says shit like “it is too early for us to worry about husbands anyway”, Trey’s brain melt a little bit. She only sees her future with Riddle…

Ace/Deuce – they are “those two girls”, the ones that are always fighting, but also so close that it’s almost like they’re… you know. They are more likely than their boy versions to push that semi-playful flirty thing, and it’s always Ace who initiates it. She pokes Deuce’s boob with a pen, lifts her skirt, “accidentally” ends up in suggestive poses with her, makes jokes that take a couple of moment for Deuce to get (then she gets red and mad), and all of that is just them messing around of course. Nothing serious, for sure…

Jack/Deuce – when they kissed for the first time, Jack grabbed Deuce’s waist and lifted her up so their faces would be on the same level. Deuce got so surprised by that (her feet were barely touching the floor!), she whimpered in the kiss, and Jack got immediately embarrassed and put her back down. Both liked it a lot and felt hot because of that, but were too awkward to do it again…

Kalim/Jamil – Kalim is so innocent it’s very difficult for Jamil to think about the fact that one day she’ll start having sex and even worse, producing babies. The second part is so terrifying that Jamil prefer not to think about it at all, but even just the first part makes her very frustrated somehow. Is she angry about it? Somehow, imagining Kalim with someone like that feels very wrong, and Jamil’s frustrated mind makes her dream about Kalim doing things to her body instead. Jamil woke up all sweaty and with a blanket squeezed tightly between her thighs. 

Azul/Jamil – despite her busy schedule, there are moments when Azul has some free time and goes to see Jamil play basketball. She is always very clearly rooting for Jamil and Jamil only, as if she is the only one playing, and Jamil finds it annoying… Oh, is she distracting you, Jamil-san? By being a cute little cheerleader? Also, did I mention that Azul likes tomboys already?

Rook/Vil – when Vil gets mad, sometimes squeezing Rook’s boobs a couple of times makes her feel better. But when Vil gets very mad, the only thing that could help is for Rook to pull Vil’s underwear down and dive with her face between her legs. Then she eats Vil until she is so tired that all agitation has left her body, and her anger is gone… Technically, if Rook isn’t around, Vil could just breathe in and out until she is calm, but for some mysterious reason Rook is always around whenever Vil starts feeling angry. Is it a coincidence?

Floyd/Epel – while the bra that Vil makes Epel wear isn’t uncomfortable and is actually quite nice, she still doesn’t like the fact that she is supposed to wear it, so whenever she sees Floyd going around clearly bra-less, she gets so fascinated and excited. One time when they were hanging out together, being all rebellious and stuff, Epel took her bra out and looked at Floyd very proudly and smugly. And Floyd pointed out how pointy and erect Epel’s nipples are and giggled at her… and then quietly stole her bra while Epel was busy covering them and feeling unexpectedly embarrassed. They were hard the entire evening, which Floyd found very cute and couldn’t stop commenting on.

Ortho/Idia – when they were kids, Idia tried to make Ortho to be “the princess” in whatever story they were playing because Ortho is younger, and Idia wanted her to feel cherished and a centre of attention. But Ortho threw a tantrum about it because she wanted Idia to be the princess instead. They weren’t really into playing with dolls or all this princess stuff, so it was just a very rare and kind of wholesome memory that Idia completely forgot about… until Ortho called her a pillow princess and said “see, I was right” with a smug face all those years later. What do you mean you were right…! Is this really a good moment to bring that up?? While pressing a pulsating finger against your sister’s you-know-what??

Lilia/Idia – one time Idia actually went to listen to Lilia’s bass guitar performance in an empty clubroom because she wouldn’t go out of her room otherwise. And Lilia teased her a lot that day, acted very smugly, called Idia her groupie and even suggested to give her an autograph by signing her titties. Idia was embarrassed and terrified, but Lilia did end up lifting her shirt and doing that…

Lilia/Silver – when Lilia is feeling down for some reason, sometimes she makes Silver sit on her lap. Silver is too heavy for that at this age, and she usually says that it will make mother’s blood circulation worse, but Lilia always says that it’s okay and pushes her down. Then she hugs Silver tightly, presses her cheek against Silver’s chest, sits like that for a couple of minutes and playfully slaps Silver’s thigh, telling her to stand up and saying that she is a good girl and made her feel all better. Whenever Lilia stands up though, her legs shake because of bad blood circulation… Silver told you!

Sebek/Silver – whenever Silver falls asleep and Sebek doesn’t wake her up right away for some reason, she always makes sure she looks appropriate: closes her legs, fixes her shirt, even puts her hair back from her face. Although every now and then she does end up staring at her sleeping face and body for some time before doing that… you know, if no one is around…

Lilia/Malleus – as Malleus’ breasts were growing, she was in pain pretty often because of the drastic and quick growth. Lilia used to soothe her pain while massaging her chest with her small but knowledgeable hands, and it helped a lot… but also backfired, because now Malleus’ breasts are very tender; but also sometimes when she gets angry she really wants to have them squeezed and groped, as it pacifies her.

Sebek/Malleus – Sebek loves repeating that she’ll never get married because she already decided that she will live only to serve Malleus. One times Malleus heard about it and said that it really is a shame, because someone would be lucky to have Sebek as a wife. She didn’t really mean anything by it, but Sebek was so shocked to hear that that she still can’t process that conversation…

Crewel/Deuce – while Deuce wasn’t super sexually experienced before their affair with Crewel started, she was pretty experienced in terms of masturbation, and thought that she knew her body quite well. She was wrong because Crewel made her feel the way she didn’t know she could before… She used to be a very horny young teen, but now is the first time when she stands up and can feel wetness between her legs dripping down her thighs (without even being touched!). She also squirted for the first time with Crewel… and was pretty shocked by that, instantly getting embarrassed that she just peed herself. This woman melts her brain…

[deskraven]

(Below are some personal thoughts on Nightshade and queer representation. OG poster I have nothing against you and this is not an attempt to persuade you into liking Nightshade. Your feelings are valid and I understand where you are coming from.)

Nightshade is an icon to me in Season 1. I always joke about "fox news is not wrong that Nightshade is trans-ing people" - they are a key factor I started using nonbinary pronouns in real life. So sure, my opinion on them is biased - there might be too much insertion and projection involved and I'm looking at them through rose-colored glasses.

So let's start with facts instead:

"The character's very existence is unnecessary" is a very subjective statement. There is a thread on Twitter that asked "(Without saying its woke) What's your reason for disliking Earthspark?" While many pointed out that there are too many Terrans and only 2-3 of them are well developed / interesting, the 2-3 they listed are very diverse among the comments! The following are all direct quotes:

I never found most of the kids/terrans entertaining (except for Nightshade and Jawbreaker)

... only Nightshade and Hashtag are interesting, the rest have the personality of a piece of cardboard.

A few of the Terrans feel underdeveloped, Thrash and Hashtag feel like nothing characters compared to Twitch, Jawbreaker, and Nightshade.

the Terrans don’t really stand out from one another in terms of personalities except for maybe Hashtag and Twitch.

The other terrans that are not twitch and thrash are really boring and lame

All of these are valid statements. I'm not accusing the original poster to be mistaking a subjective feeling as a factual statement - they very well clarified that this is their own personal feelings and acknowledged that Nightshade is a popular character. I just want to use the opportunity to show how diverse people's feelings can be.

I also don't think Nightshade "solely exists to make a statement".

If so, people who didn't even hear their statement should be really confused what the character is even here for. We do have such a group of people - in the Japanese dub, Nightshade's nonbinary identity wasn't revealed until their conversation with Sam. I'm not Japanese so I can't say for sure, but there were a lot of Japanese fanart about them prior to "Home" being aired in Japan. It seems that they are well-liked.

Now my opinions:

Nightshade has a very tasteful introduction and implementation. I see the "came flying in to throw all sorts of people into a tizzy" as part of their personality - which I cherish. I also see the "forced, self righteous, and more than a little annoying at times" as part of their personality, which I cherish even more because it reminds me of many queer neurodivergent friends of mine.

But Nightshade doesn't just appeal to queer people. A friend of mine adores them for a very specific line they said, "You've just proven you don't really know me - because I was never lost!" She's a cishet Chinese woman who doesn't know much about US queer culture, but she remembers saying something similar to her parents.

But even if they really are just a tasteless boring character who exists for the sake of representation, I wouldn't say they shouldn't be there either. I would sure be angry - a year ago I was enraged by the portrayal of Lake Ripple (Elementals) because this nonbinary character really literally serves no purpose. It is frustrating when there's finally a nonbinary character on big screen yet they are just a soulless background cardboard. But most of Lake's cisgender relatives are also background cardboards, yet no one would say they shouldn't exist in the first place. Imagine if all it takes to make a character's mediocracy tolerable is to remove their minority identity - it's unfair.

Anyways I like Nightshade very much they are the second perfect transformer character imo ^ ^ It's a pity they got shafted in S2 and S3 but they will forever live rent free in my heart and I unironically love how you described them as "self righteous and more than a little annoying at times" and "came flying in to throw all sorts of people into a tizzy". These are the reasons I love them and I couldn't have put it any better.

I can never change your dislike for Nightshade. But have you considered that Nick basically reduced their role in the show because of all the controversy? It's harsh to think that they shouldn't be there. This show has studio interference written all over it.

Today is the die I become hated.

Le sigh.

I recognize that studios have their money hungry fingers all over everything, but that does not change what Nightshade, and other similar characters, represent. I think Nightshade's very existence is unnecessary. Even without the controversy, the character is just kind of there for no real reason other than making a statement. For me, Nightshade feels a great deal like the ridiculous arrogance of Elita-One in Transformers One.

Both characters are there to leave a message, one that could be good if done correctly. But due to its implementation, it comes off as forced, self righteous, and more than a little annoying at times. Elita was an attempt to represent girl power that went sideways by making her worse as a person. Nightshade was a studio's shot at reaching more diverse audiences that just came off as out of the blue and tasteless. Nightshade has very little purpose, even before people got upset, my point remains. Additionally, the character is largely there for diversity rather than actual functionality in the show.

For all I care, your character could be named Squishy von Veek and could go by screams of the damned as pronouns, so long as said character is USEFUL to the story and makes sense in the lore. Nightshade sadly does not check any of these boxes for me, at least not in initial implementation. There was no lore groundwork, no tasteful introduction. It just happened and Nightshade came flying in to throw all sorts of people into a tizzy.

I will admit though, the design and name for Nightshade rock.

[sidereon-spaceace]

I keep putting it off for many many reasons and one of them being that there are plot points I still need to iron out but also like. This year is probably gonna be hard for me. Maybe writing Skysail will fix me and if it doesn't then at least I'll finally get it down on paper.

[goldensunset]

i really do think terra would be the final boss for therapists. yeah i know everyone in kh has low self esteem and scrambled memories and repressed ptsd and guilt etc etc don't get me wrong they all need serious help. but there's that and then there's getting your very being split into three parts remaining separate for over a decade. mere fragments of his being trying to hold onto themselves. he was torn apart mind body and soul. and this is BEFORE you factor in the problems he already had and the strong anger and grief etc etc. he walks into the therapist's office and they're completely baffled within the first five minutes of listening to him talk because literally what is he even saying? how do you even begin to dissect that

[relaxxattack]

well, if you insist! here was the essay:

why rosemary adopt a child (a color theory) (gone silly)

in homestuck, family trees, and the characters themselves, are color coded. this isn't really something that needs explanation, we all know that the color wheel is split basically in half along the jamily and strilonde lines. e.g. pink + orange = red

but if we're going to imagine this is a hard-encoded rule, it leads to funny theories about future fankids... like how rose and kanaya will most likely adopt a cerulean wiggler.

rose and kanaya's colors are purple and green. i would argue that they have a fair bit of red-orange as secondary colors, but their MAIN colors are purple and green.

these colors make up the ends of jewel tone spectrum, meaning that any colors between them are going to end up as jewel tones.

therefore, if you were to "mix" the colors of these two, the middle spot you would end up in would be a jewel tone.

more specifically, cerulean.

there's also, simply, vibes to take into account; aka what looks good together. although rose and kanaya both often wear warm colors, the fact that their "main" colors are jewel tones makes it much more pleasing to the eye for an addition to their group to also be of a jewel tone.

even if they were dressed all in orangey-red, blue and orange look good together! and happen to be trademark colors of...

their postcanon daughter!

by color theory standards, vrissy's design is adorably perfect to fit in with her moms. although an orange kid with blue accents would have also worked, i personally think the blue is cuter.

so, color-wise, they would always have needed to go with a child that was a different color than either of them in order to keep the scheme harmonious. of course it was basically writing on the wall that these two characters, who were literally recreating trollkind, would want to adopt a wiggler, but it's also sweet that homestuck's pre-existing color coded family trees affirm this as well.

a child that went out of the jewel tones and more up into warmer colors, like fuchsia or yellow, wouldn't have looked right with rose and kanaya-- but a child that was just one of their colors would likely feel just as wrong. these two characters, who denied their societies' notions of traditional womanhood at every turn, were always destined to adopt-- to bring in a new color, but a harmonious one.

dave and karkat, however... exist in completely stark contrast to this.

neither of them really have secondary colors. they're both just red, red, red; as red as can be!

karkat hides his red with gray, of course, but gray is hueless and has no place on the color wheel. the closest either of them come to having a secondary color is the fact that dave(sprite) also has strong associations with orange; but this isn't really a secondary color, because it doesn't move around the wheel at all-- it is purely analogous.

dave and karkat's color schemes contain only one hue, and that hue is red.

so if we're continuing to follow the family tree down by using the established color rule, the only way you can really go with davekat is... more red.

you could maybe do analogous colors to red, sometimes, like pink or orange, and i do see that in fankids occasionally. but it's easy to see why so many of them just end up sticking with red-- it's hard to imagine where else to even go from here.

the davekat color scheme is so narrow that, unlike rosemary, they don't have a perfect middle color they are 'destined' to adopt into their family line. it's always just going to be them and their own blood.

which is why, following this logic, obviously the next hsbc upd8 will be the canon davekat mpreg child,

This is the dumbest thing to point out but why is every Davekat fankid red JDJSJDJ its so funny

[befuddled-calico-whump]

Total $hit$how: An Array of Unanswered Questions

in which Kaius maybe embraces friendship a little bit

cw: referenced/fear of torture, manhandling

previous // masterlist // next

×~×~×

The air was thick with the promise of rain when Kaius stepped out of the compound. Ruebin trailed a few steps behind, his usual uncertainty plain on his face. They hadn't exchanged many words since receiving their assignment; Ruebin spent the rest of the evening in his room with the door closed, and Kaius had taken the opportunity to pore over the files they'd already acquired.

Vic's sudden decision to drop Finley didn't surprise him. Their handler had seemed opposed to the idea of speaking with her from the start. Investigation of the supposed drop-site, however, seemed as though it would be just as fruitless. Was Vic just trying to keep them occupied while the others worked on more crucial tasks? Perhaps. 

A sleek black car with darkened windows, identical to the vehicle that had brought him here, pulled up within a few minutes of their exit, and Kaius climbed inside, Ruebin once again trailing behind. The other man's nerves were palpable. He hoped they wouldn't interfere with their task. It would already be difficult enough as it was. The odds of running into Finley's customers and gleaning anything from them were minimal, and the site itself would likely be barren. With all his distaste for wasting another day, Vic certainly seemed intent on a wild goose chase.

Unless he had some ulterior motive; another thing that would not surprise Kaius. He knew very little about Vic. Normally, he'd expect as much from an employer—it wasn't as if he cared what the other man got up to after business hours—but lately it seemed ignorance was a dangerous game. The man was an enigma, leaving little to be picked up on, even with careful observance. 

A few things could be gathered. Vic was in his fifties, and had been in this game for decades. Desensitized to violence, lacking empathy, dangerous. He seemed to report to a federal or governmental agency on some level, as suggested by the drivers and nondescript vehicles he had at his disposal, but Kaius didn't know if he was an asset or merely an errand boy, paid off to do the bidding of those in power.

If the latter was the case, he remained perplexed as to why Vic would delegate the task to them. He'd made it abundantly clear that he outshone their skills and experience in this area, and even if they held certain skills he did not possess, the gap didn't seem large enough to warrant hiring proxies. He'd spent time, money, and energy on getting them to the minimum level of preparation required for the mission when he could've already enacted it himself. Something wasn't adding up, but Kaius couldn't figure out what. 

Vic had saved them, or so he said, but he didn't do such a thing from the goodness of his heart. It was a simple exchanging of favors. He hadn't heard the circumstances that brought the others into the compound, but Kaius had been in hot water, pursued by a pair of strangers, cornered, saved at the last minute. His rescuer had acted on Vic's orders, delivering him from a fate he didn't want to dwell on and right into Vic’s hands. His freedom for the elimination of a threat. It seemed fair.

But how far would their handler go to see this mission completed the way he wanted?

Kaius was content to sit and think on everything for the duration of the car ride, but beside him, Ruebin seemed twitchy and nervous. Hardly optimal. He didn't want to deal with the man's anxieties on top of watching for danger and effectively searching the scene. Better to nip it in the bud.

“You seem on edge,” he said in a low voice, and Ruebin’s eyes darted to meet his.

“Yeah,” he said. “I just… the drop site. Seems like the scary one, y'know?”

Kaius raised an eyebrow. “The scary one?”

Ruebin gestured vaguely. “Crime drop-site? What if we run into a criminal?”

“Are you not a criminal?”

“I am, but I'm not dangerous. Vic outright said Finley’s customers are dangerous. I’d just… I wish he would've picked you and Jericho. Or you and Joy.”

“Anyone other than you,” Kaius mused. It seemed a pointless thing to wish for when they were already en route.

“Anyone bigger than me,” Ruebin said. “What will we do if we run into trouble? I mean, you’ve seen me fight. I can’t do anything.”

“I’ll plan an escape route once we arrive,” Kaius said. “If we come across trouble, we run.”

“Okay,” Ruebin said, not sounding entirely convinced. He rubbed his forehead. “Fuck, jail is almost sounding like the preferred alternative.”

Kaius huffed. “Do you honestly believe that?” Ruebin had been a thief before he was picked up. Didn't his whole job revolve around risk and reward? Why couldn't he apply the same principles here?

Ruebin's shoulders slumped. “I mean… not really, I guess. I just don't wanna get jumped or something. And I don't have the best feeling about this.”

Neither did Kaius, but he elected to keep that to himself. Someone needed to be the voice of reason.

Ruebin continued. “I just… I don't think I'm cut out for something like this. This isn't stealing from some too-rich dipshit. This is real.”

Kaius sighed, pressing his back into the leather seat. “And what you did before, was that not real?”

The other man shrugged. “You know what I mean “

“I don't.”

“Well…” He blew out a puff of air, pushing a wave of thick black hair over his shoulder. “I guess it always felt more like a game? Well, mostly. There were other days, days where it got real, but those weren’t exactly frequent.” He fiddled with the collar of his shirt. “We just had our task. One job, no bigger picture. No ‘thousands of people will die if you fail’, y'know?”

Kaius wanted to point out that it was a possibility, not a certainty, but he got the feeling it wasn't what Ruebin wanted to hear. Instead, he nodded. Pressure. It made sense.

“I don't think I'm ready for that to be on me,” Ruebin said. “Not for this job, and definitely not for the whole thing. I think… I think you all could do this without me.”

Was that what this was? Not cowardice, but feeling useless? Kaius knew Ruebin wasn't the boldest of the group, but a life of crime required some degree of bravado. The man hadn't run from the task Vic had given them in the labyrinth, but he had seemed somewhat dejected after the fact.

“Do you not think your skills are adequate?” Kaius asked. “Necessary?”

“I’m a lockpick,” Ruebin said with a short laugh. “I’m a couple steps above a street magician. We’re a dime a dozen.”

Maybe that was it. “Regardless of how common your skillset is, it will be needed here,” he countered. “You’re a thief. I’m an investigator. Right now, we need to pull critical information from a delicate location. Both our talents are required.” 

“Yeah,” Ruebin said, not quite sounding convinced. Kaius tried again.

“I know your record isn’t spotless, seeing as you’ve wound up here, but you avoided being caught up until this point, did you not?”

Ruebin shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, I guess I did, but—”

“Then you’re essential here,” Kaius said, leaving no room in his tone for argument. “Your chosen lifestyle has given you an edge when it comes to escaping notice and fleeing the scene. If we do wish to avoid trouble, we’ll need your instincts to make it happen. Do you agree?”

Ruebin’s expression was twitchy, his face flushing a few shades brighter, as if from a sunburn. “I mean— I, yeah. Yeah, guess so.” He rubbed his neck “Jeez, alright.”

His eyes were on the carpeted floor of the car, but there was a slight smile on his face. Despite knowing the argument was necessary for Ruebin’s confidence, and therefore necessary for today's mission, Kaius felt an odd pleasantness at the sight of it.

Perhaps it was the familiar satisfaction that came with winning an argument. Perhaps not

After approximately an hour and a half of driving, the car came to a stop, and the driver gestured for them to get out. Kaius obliged, Ruebin on his heels. They were parked adjacent to a moneylender, on a street with an unfamiliar name. The driver, silent up until this point, rolled down her window and extended a gloved hand towards Kaius. There was something in her palm; a little metal capsule, silver buttons shielded by a clear plastic lid.

“What's this?” he asked, taking it from her.

“A way to tell me you're done,” the driver replied. 

“You're not staying?” Ruebin squeaked, clearly not enthused with the idea of being left there alone.

“It's policy,” she replied simply. It seemed sensible. If there was a risk of interception, it was better to have as few people involved as possible.

“Is the site nearby?” Kaius asked.

“I don't know about any site. This is where I was told to go.” 

Before he could ask any further questions, she rolled the window up. Kaius tried to keep himself from scowling. He understood the mission specifics were likely revealed on a need-to-know basis, but that didn't make the exchange less aggravating.

So it was on them to find the exact location. Fortunately, Kaius had been the one to identify its existence in the first place, and had a vague idea of where it would be. He watched the car pull away, feeling Ruebin deflate beside him as it disappeared into the sunrise.

“Let's move,” he said. “Keep your eyes sharp.”

“Sharp.” His voice lacked enthusiasm. “Got it.”

The sun wasn't quite high enough to light up the block, and the surrounding buildings were painted in a blue wash. Scanning the area, Kaius saw no one out and about, but given that these streets seemed to be made up of businesses and it was just shy of seven in the morning, he wasn't overly surprised. Kaius led the way, searching for anything familiar from what he'd read. Within a quarter of an hour, he’d found it: A wide gap between a bar and a bodega, more of a loading area for a semi truck than the usual alleyway. A sensible spot; if Finley met her customers at night they could easily be taken for bar patrons. It still made little sense why they were there. At this hour, the bar was closed, so it wasn't even as if Kaius could question the staff.

Pointless. But if Vic wanted a futile search, that was what he'd get. He gestured towards the open area.

“There,” he said. “This was the listed location.”

Ruebin nodded, taking in the blank pavement ahead; plain brick walls with smatterings of graffiti here and there, a singular rubbish bin sitting against the bar’s exterior.

It would be a quick search. Kaius directed Ruebin to the bodega side, not wanting the man to get his fishnets in a twist combing over the bin, and began scouring his own area. He fell into step rather quickly, beginning a methodical search for anything that seemed out of place. Useless as their task may be, it felt almost relaxing to get back into groundwork. Relying on his senses to find details others had missed, applying the tiniest clues to the bigger picture.

Just a few more days, and he could go back to work; moving in solitude, solving small mysteries or collecting information. It meant working long days, constantly looking over his shoulder, but Kaius could never get enough. Once a question was posed, he had to find its answer. If unsolvable, he had to find out why.

Much like the question of Vic. His mannerisms and motivations could boil down to personality and lifestyle, but Kaius couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something. He knew he should put it to rest and focus on the mission ahead, but his thoughts kept trailing back to it.

It doesn't matter, he tried to tell himself. In a matter of days, you'll be gone, and you'll never see him again. Or the rest of them.

The thought wasn't as neutral as Kaius had imagined it would be. He found himself wondering what the others would do with their own freedoms. Would they return to their individual crimes? Jericho had a family, he knew. Did Harbor? Ruebin?

He knelt beside the rubbish bin, checking its exterior for tampering.

It wasn't as if he were going to do anything about it if they didn't. They were all adults with their own lives, and a few scant weeks wouldn't change that. Kaius would certainly be fine. He enjoyed being alone. Still, as irritating as the rest of the group could be at times, he had to admit it was nice not being lonely. 

After a handful of minutes, Kaius was satisfied with his own search. He cast a glance back at Ruebin, and found him standing still, eyes on the bodega’s wall. Kaius frowned. What was he doing? Attempting to read the jagged scrawl of some vandal?

“Hey, Kaius? What exactly did the thing you read say? About this spot?”

“Not much,” Kaius replied. “A vague description and some coordinates.”

“Nothing about like… a secret cubby or anything?”

His frown deepened. “What?” In two strides, he was at Ruebin's side, staring in the same spot. After a moment, he spotted it; a clear seam cutting through the bricks.

Odd. He certainly hadn't expected a physical drop site, much less something so concealed. 

“Good eye,” he murmured, stepping closer to the wall and tracing the seam with his eyes. The area it surrounded was quite small, only amounting to two bricks, stacked directly on top of each other. Easily missed if you weren't looking for it. Perhaps there was something useful to be found here after all.

Kaius reached for it, hesitating when he remembered he didn't have any gloves. Damn it. Lacking a better option, he tugged the sleeve of his jumper over his fingertips. The brick would likely snag the material, but it was better than nothing.

“Keep watch,” he said to Ruebin as he dug his knit-covered fingers into the seam and worked the cover off. A little upwards force, and the brick panel slid right into his hands, allowing Kaius to peer into the gap.

At a glance, it seemed empty. No papers or boxes. Then, his eyes landed on the thin wire, running through the upper corner of the compartment and down to a small metallic shape. He squinted at it, and the object flashed green. Slowly, his gaze dropped to the panel in his hands.

There was a sensor there.

“Damn it,” he whispered through clenched teeth, slipping the brick panel back into place as quick as he could.

“What's wrong?” Ruebin asked, but Kaius shook his head, rolling his sleeves back.

“It's monitored.”

“What?”

“They know someone's been here.”

Ruebin's eyes widened. “Oh shit. Shit… they'll take some time to get here, won't they? We have time to run?”

“Some.” Kaius scanned the street ahead. “There. Cafe. Let's get breakfast.”

Ruebin gave a too-sharp nod. “Right. Hiding. Blending in.”

“Walk, don't run,” Kaius said. “Try not to look like you've done anything wrong.” To his surprise, an expression of friendly ease crossed Ruebin's face. Just like that. His disbelief must've shown, because the look quickly changed to a frown.

“What? Too calm?”

Kaius blinked. “No. No, it's perfect. Carry on.” 

Side by side, they strolled through the alley, casual as Kaius could muster. It was still early morning, and the streets ahead were still empty. Both a good and a bad sign; no one to see them and grow suspicious, but no witnesses either. 

“I've heard this spot makes a mean macchiato,” Ruebin said, and Kaius turned his head abruptly to look at him, his brows drawing down. Ruebin sighed as he did, seemingly exasperated.

“What?” he whispered. “Do you want me calm or not?”

Kaius faced forward again, rubbing his eyes. “We're not… I didn't realize you were an actor.”

“Maybe you should take some classes. You're tense.”

“I'm not—” Kaius froze mid sentence at the sound of an engine. Behind them. Framing it as stretching his neck, he cast a glance back and saw a van pulling around the corner. White. Well-used, no front license plate.

“Kaius—”

“Keep walking.”

Ruebin let out a nervous sound, but obeyed, his steps falling a little quicker.

“We’ll be fine,” Kaius assured him under his breath, though his own heart was thumping. That could be a lie. The two of them stood out in the empty streets; the only plausible culprits. He scanned the block ahead, spotting two possible paths down alleys too narrow to fit a van.

“Between the cafe and the comic shop,” he murmured. “As soon as we hit the sidewalk, dash for the alley and lose them. Just stay with me. We'll be—”

The engine behind them suddenly let out a roar, pealing forward, hooking at the end of the alley to cut them off. The rear door slid open, and Kaius locked eyes with a tall figure in a hockey mask.

“Fuck!” Ruebin yelped.

“Run!” Kaius snapped.

The alley met the road not three meters ahead. The van took up most of the path, but there was a two meter gap on either side. He could see the silhouette of the driver, and no one else. One person at the ready for chasing them, not prepared to pursue two targets.

“Left,” Kaius said, giving Ruebin a shove. “Take the path. I'll find you.” Thankfully, Ruebin was quick to respond, breaking out into a sprint towards the rear of the vehicle as Kaius made a break for the front.

It had the intended effect, stopping the masked figure short as they decided which target to run after. The heavy footfall on his tail told Kaius he was the lucky pick. He did not slow. He'd run for his life enough times to be rather good at it, and if he could only make it to the next alley—

The van cut him off, and Kaius stopped short to avoid impacting its side. He nearly tripped over himself trying to change directions, but the masked figure was on him, crushing him in a bearhug. It took a split second to accept that his arms were pinned and he'd need to find another avenue of escape. He kicked his legs, driving his heel upwards to try and catch his captor in the groin, but the figure barely stumbled at the contact, letting out a curse. The door slid open, and he was flung into the cab. The masked figure wrestled his arms behind him, and someone else, also masked, darted forward to zip tie his wrists. The door was already slamming closed, the van already pealing away. 

Kaius clenched his jaw, trying to get a look around. Battered interior, smelled like old chips, seats taken out to make the rear compartment flat and open—

Before he could take in much more, a bag was thrown over his head and cinched tight.

Damn it all.

“Fuckin’ hell this one's quick,” a masculine voice complained, breathless. He could assume this was his pursuer. Loud voice, English accent with a lilt bordering on cockney. 

“What about the other one?” his companion replied. American. Smooth voice, annoyed.

“Only need one, eh?”

Despite the hood obscuring his vision, Kaius squeezed his eyes shut, trying to breathe deeply. Focus. He was caught, there was no changing that. The next step was to anticipate what exactly they wanted with him, decide how much he was willing to comply, and search for a way out.

There were three assailants in the vehicle with him, unless a fourth was making an effort to hide. With the ski masks and battered van, he could assume they were thugs for hire, lacking organization and proper funding. But who had hired them? The supposed drop site had been a come-along, but was it meant to target anyone who came looking for Finley, or only Vic? In the case of the former, he could perhaps talk his way out. He had no quarrel with the woman, no desire to steal her customers or blackmail her. On the other hand, if they were targeting Vic, he could be in trouble. What if they were with Rotorworx?

His mind went to the video, Sahota's brush with the Rotorworx hires, and he suppressed a shudder. It wasn't like that, was it? Would they torture him in an effort to reach Vic or uncover the team's plot? He wouldn't do well maintaining silence; he needed to brew up a convincing lie. Damn it, unless he was meant to be used as bait. Screaming for the camera in an effort to draw out his comrades.

He was all too familiar with the ways a person could be made to feel pain. Though he'd never seen his mother or father at work, he'd seen the remains they'd left behind; the tools carefully organized, shining against a bloodstained backdrop.

Kaius bit down on his tongue, trying to use the pain to anchor his thoughts. He didn't know that was his fate. He didn't know anything yet, and until he did, his best chance was to be still and silent.

“Is he alive back there?” A third voice, the driver. Feminine with an accent he couldn't quite place. Spanish, perhaps?

“He's fine,” said the loud one. “Sometimes they stop moving, y'know?”

“You know?”

“Well I read about it. It's the fight or flight reflex.”

“He does not seem to be doing either.”

“There's more than just those.”

The trio seemed to be fairly stupid, which could either work for or against Kaius. Easier to trick, easier to outwit and escape. Harder if they decided he had to know something about Vic's operation and decided to drag it out of him. Again, he suppressed a shudder, realizing for the first time just how badly his hands were shaking.

Enough. Enough, there's still time, it won't come to that. None of them had been unnecessarily rough or intentionally hurt him. He wouldn't panic for no reason. …At least that's what he ordered himself to do. His body failed to obey, feeling so rigid he wasn't sure he could move quickly if he tried.

Breathe deeply, stop it. Stop.

Even his breaths became stilted when the van made a sharp turn and shortly came to a stop. No matter how he tried to correct himself, no matter how illogical he knew he was being, Kaius was physically afraid. He managed to retain his silence as the van’s door was pulled open. A big pair of hands wrapped around his shoulders, propping him up into a seated position.

“Would you look at that? We actually caught one.” A new voice. Feminine, somewhat rougher than the driver's, American accent. Kaius clamped his teeth down on his tongue, trying to ignore the turning of his stomach. 

“You're one of Shepard's bodies, huh?”

The question caught him off-guard, and for a moment, he forgot his resolve not to speak. “Who?”

A short laugh above him. “Right. It's Vic to his friends, isn't it?”

Damnit, the group was after Vic then. They couldn't prove he worked for him. He just had to stay quiet.

“You don't have to answer that. I already know. Why else would you be snooping around where you were?”

They couldn't prove anything.

“Look, I'm not here to grill you on that asshole’s comings and goings. I brought you here as a favor.”

“A favor?” Again, his silence was forgotten at the sheer incredulity.

“Yeah. You… fucking shit, I can't keep doing this with the bag. Jazz, be a gentleman will ya?”

There was a tug at his neck, and then the bag slid off his head, pulling at his hair. Kaius squinted up at the newest speaker. 

He came face to face with a lean woman, her hair an offensively bright shade of yellow, cut into a jagged mullet. Her face and shoulders were covered in freckles, and her eyes seemed to glitter as she looked down at him.

“Damn, where'd Vic pull you from? Juvie?”

He couldn't tell if it was meant to be an insult, or just a misplaced observation. This time, he remembered his silence, but the woman was unbothered by his lack of response.

“So tell me about your little group. How many of you are there?”

The query was more along the lines of what Kaius expected, and he set his jaw, staring back without a word. The woman sighed.

“Come on babyface, I'm not your enemy. I want the same thing as you. Wrecking the Reality Cage, yeah?”

Less expected. Kaius frowned. “If that's what you want, then why are you impeding my progress?”

“Impeding? You came looking for me, didn't you?” She spread her arms. “I'd say I made your life easier.”

He'd figured as much, but hadn't wanted to assume outright. “Finley.”

“In the flesh.” She cast a look behind him then, tossing her head in a gesture to the loud one.

“Bring him inside.”

The hands were around his torso again, hauling him up and setting him on the ground, large fingers remaining behind to encircle his upper arm. Scanning his surroundings seemed a better use of his focus than getting frustrated at the unwanted contact, so Kaius turned his attention past Finley, into the room beyond. 

They were in a large bay, the sort a fire brigade might use to park their vehicles, though it was empty save the van and a few scattered shelves. A singular office was inlaid in white cinderblock, and Finley seemed to be making her way for it.

“Don't drag your feet, I won't bite,” the woman said, flashing a grin over her shoulder. Kaius did not return it. His thoughts were in a whirlwind.

She knew about Vic, that shouldn't be a surprise. Knowing about the Cage was to be expected considering she'd had a hand in it, but she wanted to destroy it? Why then was Vic so set on keeping away from her? On killing her if they had to meet?

He needed answers. But maybe this was the person who could give them to him. Ahead, Finley pushed the office door open, leaning on its frame.

“I think it's high time we had a chat.”

×~×~×

tag list:

@theonewithallthefixations , @violets-whumperflies , @whump-me ,

@pirefyrelight , @soheavyaburden , @snakebites-and-ink , @whumpsday , @kixngiggles ,

@echo-goes-aaa , @whumpcateyes , @clickerflight , @sodacreampuff , @starfields08000

[mokeonn]

I fucking hate the tetris effect so much. Like oooh lemme play this funnie little card game rogue-like, ooh it's so fun it's gonna be the only game I play for weeks now, oooh what do you mean I'm fucking duplicating multi-card holographic sevens in my dreams

[squireofgeekdom]

Yes! It is a new writing update thread! Progress has been made on Meet in the Middle!

That's not one but two! 2 scenes taken from partial to drafted, 1 scene taken from not started to partial. Grand tally - 25 scenes drafted, 4 partial, 7 not started, out of 36 total.

Was hoping to get all three of those scenes drafted *checks notes* last weekend, but progress is progress. These two drafted scenes come from sections and snippets written many years ago, very very early in the process of this fic. Simultaneously satisfying and very weird to be editing and weaving them into a proper draft with the context of all the previous years of work and writing. Pleased with where the drafts have ended up :D

[keets-writing-corner]

either:  write something you would enjoy reading

or: make sure you’re having fun writing, because if you’re not having fun writing it, the reading won’t have fun reading it

they’re kinda the same thing tho which is why I put both, I alwasy think that the most important thing about writing is if you’re having fun with it

I want everyone’s best one liner writing advise!

Mine is that you have to know the ending of your story before you start it.

[gurorori]

if you say shit like 'autism is not a disability' i hope you actually have really bad things happen to you and you are banned from the autism community for the foreseeable future. get another fun weird club if you so badly need one

so profoundly tired of people trying to make autism into this whimsical quirkiness when it's for most people a serious and debilitating life altering disorder

[rainingmbappe]

The rise of "let people enjoy things" is single handedly the backbone of the rise of anti intellectualism

[kumakuma-circus]

just randomly remembered that during my like 10+ attempts at the shadow yukiko fight i more or less consistently ran out of revival beads so yosuke was just dead (well unconscious but whatever) on the ground for like half the fight gfhfjvhfhfhd-