#it didn't even twinge until Monday evening

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

"Let's take up running again," said my husband on Monday. "Let's go for an extremely gentle jog, such as we have done before. Let's do a full warm up, and then restart the 'couch to 5k' from the first level."

Result: two completely different foot injuries, one for each of us.

Now HIM I understand. He's dyspraxic. He tried to do one of my very basic back stretches the day before and Did His Foot A Mischief, as my Nana would have said, which is doubly impressive when one considers that it was not a back stretch that engaged the feet in any way; so yes, of course he got part way through his fourth 60 second light jog and suddenly shrieked "Ouch! Alas!" and other such pained exclamations before limping to a bench. Fork found in kitchen. Water is wet. No one is surprised.

What the piss have I done to my Achilles tendon, though, that's what I want to know

[futureplayboibunnie]

Aphrodesiacs Pt.10 (Finale)

Miguel O’Hara x fem! spidey! reader

You and Miguel were bitten by the same spider…what could possibly happen?

okay grand finale for y’all. I REALLY BUST MY ASS TO MAKE THIS A LONG JUICY ONE. i was listening to once more to see you by mitski writing this soooo.

NSFW AS ALWAYS 18+

You kicked Miguel out that night.

Yes, it was petty. Yes, it was bitchy. But you really couldn't be around him, not when you had to go to HQ tomorrow. You got a taste of his lifestyle and you found that it was enough.

You didn't want to be a secret side fling but you didn't want to be in a relationship either, you were confused, and being near Miguel never made you clear-headed anyway so you found it very easy to kick him out. He wasn't saying the right things to you and to be honest, you didn't care if it was petty. You wouldn't settle, even if it was Miguel. But then again, it was Miguel- the man that makes you bend to his will, the man that makes your pussy sore and your body ache, the man that can make you cum over and over again until you're biting into the bedsheets. Your mouth went slack at the mere thought. You had to put your foot down, although it felt so fucking good, you wouldn't reduce yourself as someone he fucks from time to time.

You really weren't looking forward to Monday.

-

Monday morning was hell.

But as it approached nightfall, everything became worse.

Miguel was pacing in his office, his trembling fingers rubbing the skin of his forehead. He couldn't work properly, not when you so casually said 'leave' and shut the door in his face. He couldn't lie, it definitely stung, almost like he was being rejected by the popular girl in high school, reducing him to an awkward, idiotic mess in front of a pretty girl. The thought made his eye twitch, embarrassment twinging at his chest. The issue that was heavier than the embarrassment was the frustration and regret, he couldn't help but feel sad about it- but he would much rather die than show it. After all these years of keeping himself hidden, keeping busy with his work, with his role as a leader...he really didn't know how to open up to anyone. The only person he had ever gotten properly close with was you, and that was just sex. He hadn't had an intimate conversation about his true feelings with a woman he wanted before. It was always just about the sex. But with you, it had always felt like it was something more, maybe it was the spider, maybe it wasn't- he just wanted to be...near you. Lyla had heard him humbling to himself, cursing in Spanish. She was looming over him trying to see what was up with him but he just waved her away.

What if you were already fucking someone else? Did you hate him? What if you never spoke to him again? His jealousy over hypothetical scenarios was messing with his head. He frowned. Miguel felt a surge of anxiety and insecurity flow through him.

Miguel won't cost his dignity to approach you first though, it was always a challenge between you two, this cruel dance of death, the constant miscommunication, the back and forth. You were both just as stubborn and as unrelenting as each other.

Maybe if he just gave an excuse to see you, maybe if he had you in front of him he could actually talk about it instead of being a cold, unfeeling monster everyone saw him as. Miguel's face dropped as soon as he thought that, his brows furrowed in misplaced anger. The truth is... he was afraid. Miguel hasn't been afraid since Gabriella disappeared in his arms. Now he was about to lose you too.

He didn't want to risk it, he needed to do something.

Miguel pressed a few buttons on his watch, scrolling down to your name and alerting your watch to come see him. He didn't want to make excuses anymore, he just felt lost and you were the only one to find him, you were the only one to save him from eternal damnation. You were his sin, his haven, it felt...it felt like you were his everything at this point. This weekend gave him a glimpse of heaven and now he was aching for it back, yearning for it like a clawing dog at a closed door.

When you saw the notification on your watch, your lips curled downwards and your face shifted into a grimace. You let out a deep sigh, your face softening a little. Okay, another chance. Another chance to see him. You hated that you wanted to see him, but you just had to. Although you stood by your decision, you still felt a fraction of guilt just kicking him out like that. All you wanted from him was to tell you how he felt, not just about this tension between you but his feelings, your chemistry. If there was a future outside of this, if his heart was ready for it, to be open to love. You were scared to admit it, you didn't want to but you had to....you were falling in love with him. That weekend taught you so much about yourself, but it barely told you anything about him. He was unreadable, unknowable. All he was able to show was anger or frustration. You wanted to know if you were important enough for him to let you in. You just wanted to know him. Not just as Spiderman 2099. Not just as the spider that happened to bite both of you. Just Miguel. The heart he loved from, the brain he thought from. You wanted to love him, but he was so hellbent on pushing you away and you didn't want to force him to want you.

You knew this was a necessity. One last time, one last chance before you decided what you wanted.

Anxiety coursed through your bloodstream but you didn't show it as you finally walked into his office and Miguel felt your presence immediately, like your scent was his sustenance. You walked in confident but it always felt like Miguel saw through you, but you didn't know that, again, he was unreadable.

His eyes pierced through yours, a sad and frustrated look carving into his face, he couldn't tear his eyes away from you, he never did. Miguel threw his head back, signaling for you to hop up on his platform. You huffed reluctantly and swung up swiftly. when you landed on your feet next to him, his presence already formed goosebumps on the back of your neck but you were still defensive so you crossed your arms with an intent look.

"You wanted to see me." You say flatly.

“We left things...abruptly.” His voice was low but unconfident, he didn't know how to start, he needed you to take the lead for him.

“Think that was best.” It felt like the words were getting lost in your mouth, you still weren't looking at him and it made Miguel frown. His hand raised to grab your chin softly for you to look up at him and when you did you were met with sad, insecure, guileless eyes.

“Please just...look at me.” His voice was just above a whisper, a plea for something he wasn't sure of. Your mouth opened to speak but your brows just tensed, a moment passing between you as he touched you softly, almost affectionately.

You grabbed his wrist and let his hand fall off of your skin. “What do you want from me, Miguel?” You breathed impatiently.

“Just talk to me cariño.” The softness of his voice contrasted against the frustration on his 1 face, harsh lines of uncertainty and anger played on the softest parts of him, your cold words twisting the knife even further- but he still won't give you the power to hurt him. Miguel wasn't sure if he was capable of letting anyone in, let alone you. The thought slashed through the forefront of his mind and it made his heart hit his gut. He was scrambling for something, his mouth went dry and his hands went numb.

If only he stopped being so self-righteous, so bent on sabotaging everything good in his life. You sighed.

“I don't wanna be some...casual fuck buddy that's of momentary use to you.” A grimace plastered your face as you said it, you didn't want to be reduced to a hole that he fucks from time to time, you wanted him but you're not stupid, you still had your dignity.

Maybe Miguel pried it out of you before, but now you were just irritated. Your hands went to cradle his face, desperate eyes meeting his, searching for an answer but he didn't say anything, his face wasn't giving anything away. “I need more, I want more...” You lean in, lips parting into sullen apprehension, pleading with him to see you. Your fingers rubbed his neck, but this time it was him that was prying your hands off of him.

“What you're asking of me is not something I know.” His utterances were gruff and stern but it was clear he wasn't actively seeking to hurt you, he just never liked articulating how he was feeling, but he wanted to change that- but people don't change overnight.

The sad look on your face just turned into one of surprise defeat.

“Am I not worth trying for?” You breathed and Miguel didn't like the way such a question caught him off guard, it was like his ears were ringing with it, with anxiety...with fear. It's not something he's prepared to deal with, he watched your eyes dim, and your brows raise in disbelief in front of him in real-time and it made him feel even more guilty.

“You're enough for me now.” Miguel lied through his perfect teeth and his answer was making you even more upset, slivers of sadness echoed through him. You let him lie though.

“Then why are you trying to change me?” Your voice faltered a little, and it sent shockwaves down Miguel's spine. He watched as your nose pinched pink like you were about to sniffle in sadness but you kept your guard up, you definitely wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

“I'm not.” He said matter of factly, his face softening for a moment when his fingers brushed a few strands of hair behind your piping hot ear. “Don’t you see? It's you who's changing me.” You felt the depths of his voice scream in sincerity, soft-spoken. His gaze will always be as haunting as it is captivating, the one that makes you feel that you can finally see through him, but it was a beautiful illusion of the bliss he could bring you but never actually could.

“What am I to you, Miguel?” Miguel felt that you were actually withholding your anger from that and even then it still stung, you were still venomous yet harbored a tragic sadness that he couldn't help but feel guilty for. He was making you this miserable and you weren't even in a relationship. The passing thought struck him like lightning. “I know I'm not being fair or rational right now but I want more... need more from you.”

Miguel breathed out in frustration, placing his hands on your shoulders as if to shake some sense into you. “I want to. I want to give you more. I just-“ He forced the words out of him, manning up for the first time other than putting his fists in other people's faces.

He wanted to be good. He wanted to do good for you. But like he told you, he was never a good man to begin with. His lip quivered for a second but he didn't want to be weak in front of you...but you were breaking down his walls, at his door yelling to come in no matter the consequence. It would get you killed. “I don't want to hurt you.”

“Why? I'm not this fragile, breakable object that needs to be kept behind glass at all times. You recruited me, you know I can take care of myself, so why is all that changing now?” You were tired and angry and you just wanted him to want you, to fight for you.

"I'm the one that needs to protect you, no one else can do that but me.” He gritted out, his teeth clenching together.

'”What about me? What if I want to protect you? What if I want to take care of you for once?” That was all you were trying to get across, that you wanted to love him, that you wanted to care for him.

“No.” He said simply.

“So, you can want me but I can't want you? That's such backward logic, Miguel. I just..I want you to know that I care for you, I want you. Not just Spiderman or the aphrodisiacs we've become - you. I want to know you, I just want you to let me in. Why won't you let me do that for you?”

“Because you're mine now!”Miguel's grip on your shoulders tightened. He was practically yelling at this point, he couldn't do this.

As much as he wanted to tell you, the words just died in his mouth. Miguel wanted to cry, he hadn't let a tear shed in so long, and now he was this pent-up ball of emotion that he couldn't even fathom let alone differentiate. He hung his head in between you, his head now facing the floor as his breaths started to turn into heavy pants. “Because you're mine now...I’m the only one that can protect you. But what is that worth when I’m so capable of hurting you. I don’t… I don’t want to hurt you.” He repeated gently, almost solemnly and all you could do was stare at him wide-eyed, stilling at his unexpected outburst. A tear dripped from his eye, he couldn't face you looking this weak. “I'm supposed to hold it all together, to protect everyone, to keep everyone safe, To keep you safe. I can't be weak, I can't be weak- I have to hold everything together.” He choked out, spluttering and then it all just clenched at his heart:he started quietly sobbing, his head still downcast but his hands softening on your shoulders. Your lips parted in pure unbridled shock, gaping down at him as he fell apart. You really couldn't fathom this, it was all happening so fast.

“I've failed.” Miguel stifled. “I've failed as a leader, a father, a lover. And it's all my fault...I can't hurt anyone else.” Miguel couldn't stop the tears streaming down his face, and then he felt it- your warm touch softly trailing the outside of his face, lifting it up seeing he connected with your sad, eager eyes. That look could make a man fall to his knees, and Miguel honestly felt like it, his knees went limp. Your hand gripped his face as you leaned into his body, he blinked his tears away as his gaze fell on you. Your beautiful face was ashen with sadness and he hated that he was the reason for it. But you were holding him like he was water in your hands. Your soft fingers smoothed away his tears and it was like he was at the altar begging for your forgiveness.

Miguel looked so beautiful. His heart was opening and breaking at the same time and you felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

Miguel O'Hara was crying out in front of you, red eyes now a subdued hazel that you could fall in forever and never look back. All you wanted was to take care of him like he has for everyone else, to show him that he's worthy of love.

“Look at me...” You tipped his chin up and his lip quivered. “You are not a monster. You are not just Spiderman. You are not what you think you are, I've seen you up close and observed you from afar and this weekend has taught me so much about myself and what I want. All I want is to take care of you, to want you.” You had never been this honest about anything. The sincerity coursing through your body oozed out of every pore, radiating your need to want him. Miguel felt his heart stutter and his face freeze, he clenched his jaw to stop tears from pricking at his eyes as your words hit him like a brick. “Don't be the mask, let it out.” You added quietly. You gripped the back of his neck and placed it on your shoulder, your arms wrapping around him as if you would die if you ever let go.

Miguel stilled and then he melted into your embrace, feeling your warmth, he felt like Icarus being dragged into the relentless flames. Your acceptance of him was almost enthralling. You grasped his head into your hands, your eyes flitting from feature to feature as you felt him quite literally freeze in place-your fingertips were the salve to all wounds, the medicine to all sickness and Miguel was as damaged as can be. The walls he manufactured were nothing but dust between his fingertips, your unshakable will to not let him go, to love him as he is, guilt ridden and desperate, made him feel limp. Miguel's underbite clamped in an attempt to stop crying in front of you like this, to be so vulnerable in front of a woman was as foreign to him as being happy. He hasn't been happy in a long time and now you were here wanting to make him all better.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me.” Your grip on his face tightened as if to show him how serious you were. Miguel sniffled and melted into your warm hands, turning his head slightly to kiss your palm. Silence whipped through the air, the crackling of nothing but each other's breaths keeping you both steady as you tried to find the words to say, and this time you were hellbent on being clear. “The moral ambiguity of your actions doesn't scare me, I feel like you don't understand that. The mistakes you made in your past don't define you. Bad people don't care if they're bad...and I know you're good. In your heart, I know you're good...It's why I love you.”

Miguel's eyes widened a fraction and glazed over twice. He felt his mind turn to white noise but he heard you clear as day, the words falling like scripture. Like you were meant to say it. The words felt so sweet and liberating in your mouth but your heart was plunging further and further down, afraid of his reaction. You loved him. The silence that settled between you was palpable, and he couldn't tear his eyes away from yours.

Miguel didn't say anything, he just grabbed you by the waist with his right arm, pulled you close, and smashed his lips against yours. The tears smeared his face and then dried into his skin. Your kisses were always passionate, but this was like wildfire spreading onto the ocean. A fire in December. Warmth in the darkness. Miguel's tongue seeked to find yours, a soft tangle of lust and tenderness- something that he thought he would never be able to have. He sucked the sadness out of your lips and it felt beautiful.

“Let me take care of you..” You whispered sensually in between kisses and Miguel groaned, his fingers pinching gently into your skin. “Let me love you.” Your soft tender sighs were the glue that seemed to hold him together, he paused, pressing his forehead against yours.

“Are you sure?” He was hesitant, unsure if you were willing to see past all of his mistakes, to love him as he is, to be intimate.

Instead of answering, you pressed your fingers against your watch to form a portal to Miguel's place, to show him that you don't care about anything other than him at this moment, that you were willing to accept him as he is. You weren't afraid of proving it, if you had to you would, and right now you were desperate to prove just how much you wanted him, Miguel's eyes widened when he felt the portal beam right beside you, giving you a soft hazy look as you extended your hand, offering him to take it

“Let me prove it to you.” You whispered and that was enough to do Miguel in.

You were his calling, a siren guiding him through muddy waters. He intertwined his fingers through yours and you felt like your soul was being bound to his with every second your soft touch traced against his. Whenever Miguel's hands were on you, they were calloused and rough, his talons protruding from his fingertips aggressively but this time...it was tender, it felt meaningful- his touch was gentle, the way he was holding your hand and letting you guide him to a fate he wasn't even sure of felt surreal. He just can't leave you alone.

You lead him into the portal as your grasp on him is firm, a warning for him to show that you weren't letting go, not this time. As you both stepped out of the portal into his living room, it sealed behind him and left you both blinking at each other compressed by the thick tension. Thank God for this watch, honestly, it could take anyone anywhere.

“Wait...” He muttered hesitantly as he stopped you in your tracks. Turning around, your gleaming eyes were lasered on him and you shivered into his touch as he put his hands on your waist as a means to stop you from going to the bedroom. His free hand went to cradle your face as his thumb caught on your lip. “Did I hurt you at all? When we fucked did I hurt you?” He murmured sensually and it sent a permanent smattering of goosebumps to dimple all over your heated skin. Miguel's eyes were dim with curiosity and most importantly seriousness.

“No. Never. You never hurt me.” You confirmed and it settled the pace of his beating heart a fraction, but it was always racing when he had his hands on you. “We've fucked but...You’ve never made love to me.” Your voice was honeyed and low, the words slipping from your tongue as you suggested it.

Make love?

Oh, baby, you don’t know what you’re talking about. He doesn’t make love.

All he knew was to fuck. Hard and animalistic. But that wanton scorching look in your eyes, so desperate for him to be gentle, to make you feel wanted. And fuck, he wanted you to feel cherished by him.

He hadn't been so intimate with another woman like this, even with the mother of his own child.

Your eyes were wide, lips wet and eager but not eager in the way that he always knew you to be, you were desperate to show him something new, you were taking control and he was following along. It was refreshing.

His thumb was brushing over those perfect lips, plush and pink with heat and blush. You were so damn beautiful it was haunting.

Your eyes fluttered closed and your sweet mouth pressed against his softly, pecking kisses at his lips as you slung your hands around his neck and rubbed his scalp tenderly. “Let me make love to you…” You breathed low and thick and Miguel felt his cock harden already, he whimpered into your mouth and your brain committed the once-in-a-lifetime sound to memory. You made Miguel O'Hara whimper, you felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Miguel melted into you, his atoms jumping within his body to the point where he leaned into you so eagerly. You opened your mouth to deepen the passionate kiss, he was going so fast but you placed your hands on his chest. “Go slow baby...Need you to go slow.”

Your low voice shot straight down to the tip of his cock and it pulsated within his suit. Miguel listened to you and his mouth moved slowly, his tongue massaged against yours gently, tasting the mouth he adored. You tasted even sweeter like this- this slow waltz of passion allowed him to savor every second of it. The fact that you were on your tiptoes wanton for his lips made him realize how sincere of a moment this was.

"You're so beautiful it hurts.” He pulled away and breathed raggedly. His words were making you so malleable, so bendy under his will and you wanted nothing more than to please him. It was at this moment that you grabbed his hands laced it between your fingers once again and led him to the bedroom. “On the right.” He said huskily.

You opened the door and Miguel trailed behind you like a lost puppy, eager to follow your every move like he was in a trance. He closed the door behind him and that's when you realized it was going to be a long night. Your hands slipped from his and you took a few steps forward so you were near the foot of his bed: You reached out and quickly turned on his bedside light. You wanted to see his face. Miguel just leaned against the door, watching intently to every microdose, to every fraction of a move you made- waiting for your next move. At this point, you wanted to test him. You let out a soft breath with the part of your lips and felt the zipper of your suit. Miguel tore through your clothes like a knife through hot butter just with the sharpness of his talons, this time you wanted to make this slow and less immediate. Miguel's eyes were fixed on you, eyebrows tensing with a strive he hadn't felt before. The tips of your fingers toyed with your zipper and you pulled it down hesitantly. You hear Miguel let out a short breath when you slide out of your suit, slivers of skin piercing his peripheral with your shimmering glow. The fabric pooled at your feet and you stepped out of it, only left in your pretty underwear and bra set. Even subconsciously you were dressing up for Miguel.

He sighed and his eyes fluttered closed when he saw how you looked under the golden glow of his bedside lamp, he saw you perfectly. Your frame was even more beautiful than the last time he gawked at you. His jaw clenched and his teeth gritted when his eyes wandered to your lips. You were biting it and small marks indenting the soft flesh. “Come here..”

Miguel stalked up to you slowly, playing along with you, feeling the gorgeous reality set over him.

You wanted to make love to him, and he wanted to make love to you. To feel you intimately, slowly, passionately. He wanted to take the time to memorize the way you react as he makes you feel good. When he fucked you, he only got flashes, now he wants the whole thing. He was hungry for it.

He was in front of you now, your breath mingling with his, and your eyes flitted from gorgeous feature to feature. Miguel's hand traced up your thigh in barely there touches and you hung your head to watch his ministrations and it felt like you were spellbound by his mysticism. His finger hooked onto the side of your underwear and twirled it gently. “Hmm.” He hummed in a clipped tone and his eyes met yours in a powerful connection. He watched the black of your eyes burst widely, you clearly liked what he was doing.

He was being so gentle with you, so slow. It felt so damn sexy. This waiting. This tension. It felt like the beginning of all of this but…better.

“Tell me, Cariño...What do you want me to do for you?” Miguel whispered as his fingers hooked under your chin to tilt your head back up, he noticed that your lips were already swollen by a few kisses. You were so gorgeous like this, it was inhumane.

“Undress me..” You murmured sweetly but the force of your words seemed more like a diverted beg. Miguel was savoring every second of this torturous process, watching the little twitches of that perfect body of yours under a magnifying glass.

“Hmmm. That what you want?”

"Mhmmm.”

With that, Miguel placed his palms on your back, feeling the straps of your bra as he traced his fingertips over the hooks, teasing you, watching the way your face and body reacted to his barely-there touches. You reveled in it, the uncertainty of the touches he put on you. He finally unhooked your bra, the snaps liberating you as the tension is being relieved bit by bit. You stifled a moan and that sound was so much hotter than a usual moan, you were suppressing it making it clear that you were already getting aroused.

And fucking hell, it was arousing. He wasn't even in you yet. See, before when you and Miguel were yearning for each other, neither of you was thinking straight. All you both needed was to fill each other, Now after that, there was something missing.

This feeling of emotional need was what was missing. This emotional connection and chemistry.

Miguel watched with creased intent eyes as he tugged the pretty bra off you, your breasts bouncing out of its confines. His eyes flicked to yours, one soft palm caressing your chest, that telltale squirm told him everything he needed to know.

“Such a beautiful body, such a pretty face. Like you were made for me Carino.”

“Miguel...” You whimper out slightly.

“What is it, baby?” His voice was gruff and smooth all at once, a velvety mixture of husky and sensuality. It was like he was cooing down at you. “Hmm?” You darted your head down as an indication to strip you of your underwear.

Miguel's lips parted as he understood immediately, his eyes didn't rip away from yours as he slowly bent down to his knees. He hooked his arms around the back of your legs and kept eye contact with you, a surge of arousal washing between you. He planted a few trailing kisses up your thighs and you squirmed into him lime clockwork. His fingers shimmied down your underwear delicately and you stepped out of the flimsy fabric.

“Kiss me.” You say under your breath in such a sweet voice. How could he ever say no to that? The last time he couldn't really remember it, he was so taken over by his primitive instincts that it was all over in flashes-relish every last bit of you.

Miguel let out a sharp breath as his fingers kneaded the soft flesh of the back of your thighs before he cupped the globes of your ass, he was taking his time to feel you, to memorize it all and commit it to memory. Every time he touched your skin, it felt like he was touching God or angel matter. As his mouth placed teasing kisses on your lower stomach his aind was beginning to reel. You were arching into him, your fingers sinking deeper into his hair. He gave you one last look as a confirmation and all he got back was a pretty blushing face with a slack jaw and parted lips. “Need you…” You muttered and that's when his mouth started to suckle on your pussy, his lithe tongue moving up and down and in and out, he was keeping you guessing and it made you all the more frustrated and wet. His nose nudged your swollen clit and it made your body jolt from the aftershock.

“You always taste like heaven incarnate...” he mumbled between licks and all you could do was moan. You were caught off guard when he started to suckle on your clit, his pace was torturous, so slow and you were becoming more and more needy.

“Miguel...Please I-“ You tried to protest but you weren't even sure what you were protesting for and before you could even get off he rose from his knees and wrapped his arms around you, his mouth shutting you up.

Miguel's hands were placed firmly on your ass, squeezing tightly whenever you moaned into his desperate mouth. Your lips were melting into each other and blurring into a slow, wickedly passionate make-out. “It was like my name was supposed to come out of your mouth.” He felt like a teenager about to lose his virginity he was that excited. Your arms hung around his neck and your tongue was so sweet in his mouth, exploring unhurriedly but he knew you were at your threshold- even though he got a taste, you were still reeling from the fact he wouldn't let you finish.

Your mouth unsheathed from his and you both took a beat to gawk at each other. A dark look fell onto Miguel's eyes as he saw your cheeks pink and red with arousal. His hands cradled your pretty face and you looked like a doll in his palms.

“Want me to make love to you, yeah? Make you feel just how deeply I need you?” His voice was strained and low, seduction scraping at his vocal chords and it sent waves of neediness course through your body. The connection your gazes held was a simmering fire that was beating with passion. It was impossible to look away

“Yes." You breathed out sensually, an angelic hazy daze clouding your brain as the word just fell from your lips.

“You're so beautiful, querida.”He kissed your forehead tenderly and your breaths became even more rapid when you felt your legs go limp. He was holding your face like you were a jewel, you leaned your head forward to kiss him on the lips and Miguel just held you back with just the might of his palms. “Easy ángel...” He murmured. “Be patient f’me. You wanted me to make love to you, let me take my time with you then mi amor. Let me feel you.” His easy words just made soft moans roll from your tongue, he was doing a damn good job at making you feel not just wanted but cherished.

Miguel planted a kiss on your temple, you were squirming in his touch, rolling your body onto his. “You know, I haven't been doing well without you...Even after a day, you make me lose my wind with just how badly I need you.” he planted a kiss on your cheek and whispered hotly in your ear. “I got you baby, stay still f’me." He then kissed the corner of your mouth and then fully engulfed your lips with his. You were red hot with anticipation, your senses skyrocketing with every second but the reality was slow and agonizing- it was perfect. You decided to take the lead now, you got Miguel on the bed and he leaned up on the headboard, your head was in between his clothed thighs and you pouted. Miguel quickly rid of the holographic suit and his rock-hard cock sprung free in front of your face. The look on your face was priceless, a mixture of eagerness and seduction- it was a brain fuck.

“Let me taste you too.” Your tone was doused in pure lust and before Miguel's eyes could widen, your tongue stuck out and licked the head of his leaking cock. It wasn't like the first time you gave him head though, this was solely focused on him, no challenges, no teasing, no games. Just making him feel good. You gave kitten licks to his sensitive slit, those barely-there touches already driving him to the sharp edge. Your warm, wet mouth finally covered his tip, suckling gently and swirling him with your tongue, the salty taste of him you craved was already filling up your senses, he tasted so good.

“Mmm..fuck.. you're too good to me, so good f'me.” He let out a strained groan as his head tipped back slightly. You lapped him tenderly, sliding him down your throat, little by little. It felt...loving.

Miguel felt himself still in place when your warm mouth left him hanging, it was you who was prepping him this time. You crawled onto his lap with this innocent glimmer in your eyes, a look that was of mere longing and yearning, a face so eager to please. You settled between his thighs and Miguel's face was steely and serious, he really wanted to show you exactly the kind of love he harbored for you but you had other ideas and Miguel was uncharacteristically allowing you to do whatever you pleased.

“Wanna ride you...” You say softly as your hands massaged at his shoulders and Miguel is already letting out small groans at the slightest bit of contact. You placed your hands on his and guided them to your face, the pads of his fingers traced over your skin and you tilted your head to kiss his palm, then you caught one of his fingers in your mouth, suckling and twirling your tongue around the tip of it softly. Miguel sighed deeply at the pretty sight before you let it go with a pop. “Can I do that for you?” You breathed out.

This all felt so...personal.

Like you were reaching to the darkest depths of who he was and loving him anyway.

It made him burn for you. Miguel's cock was slapping against your stomach, your eyes darted from his face to his length and it made you wet your lips. “Mhmm.” He rasped, his big palms landed on the dip of your waist, helping you guide yourself on him. Before he could though, you leaned in and chastely kissed the tip of his nose, the bridge of his nose, and his forehead. Jesus Christ, it was like you knew exactly how to make him putty in your hands. You gave him a lazy smile as you rose up and eased yourself down on his cock, your pretty pussy swallowed him up entirely like always- even after he's fucked you so many times, he still never got used to how wet and tight your pussy was. Your eyes never broke from his as your tits pressed into his chest, you whined in his ear and his hands burrowed in your soft sweet hair, the strands falling down like a waterfall. "Ah...Mig-“

"Always taking me so well. Do you have any idea just how good you feel, mm?” He grunted out, his big arms wrapping around you entirely, trapping you in him. He was always balls deep inside you, there was no space left between you and that was just how you liked it. “My pretty girl. My beautiful girl. I need you.” He cooed.

You moaned when your hips started subconsciously moving, grinding down on him and making discernable shapes on his cock. Miguel watched you with awe equated to being starstruck, you were bouncing on him and rutting your greedy cunt on him trying to get yourself off on him. “You always- Fuck. Fill me up so good.” You moaned out, your mind all hazy from his brute strength alone, he was forcing you to stay put on his thighs, spending whatever time you needed to please him. Miguel slowed you down as he caught your supple lips with his, it was a desperate kiss that was bursting with flames and then your pace got slower, savoring the kiss. You broke away with a moan and sunk your teeth into his shoulder blades, Miguel's mouth was on the crook of your neck peppering you with the sweet kisses you were aching for, and you felt him inhale the scent of you deeply. His hands apathetically palmed your tits, he rolled the nipples between his nimble fingers, pulling and nipping on them with his teeth and smoothing them with a suckle.

Hm.

He's not known for being kind.

But feeling you like this made him thaw.

Lord, he just wanted to please you, make you feel good and you were just as inclined to do the same thing-bursting each other up with the flames of passion.

“Mmm. Slow yeah? Slow for me. Take your time for me, baby.” He mumbled out through strained pants, you were jerking on him steadily and his eyes tore away from yours to stare at the bulge of your stomach- he was so fucking deep in you it bulged out of your tummy. Miguel's ego skyrocketed at the sight. Fuck, that perfect body of yours would be the death of him. "Look how fuckin deep I am- He pressed the bulge on your stomach and it made your body twitch wildly, you quite literally felt him pulsate inside of you and it made you clench even harder around him. He felt an orgasm approach him, teetering off that blissful edge that tipped between sweet heaven and damning hell.

God, he felt too good, stretching you and bottoming out into you.

When you pressed your forehead against his and whispered “I love you” to him, that was it.

Miguel moaned and rolled you over so that he was on top of you, his legs trapped you in place and his cock was still aching inside you, craving your friction. He weaved his fingers with yours as he pushed in and out of you, Miguel's knuckles turned white as your palm flatted from bliss into the mattress.

He had never done this during sex before, the simple intimacy of hand-holding turned into something so much more consuming. Miguel's figure loomed over you, his eyes piercing and moody, a whirlwind of passion and emotion making his eyes crystal clear than before.

You stared at Miguel.

Miguel stared at you.

Watching each fraction of your body intently, the way your face moved with every thrust, the plush of your cheeks pillowing whenever you whined, the crease of your eyebrows when he hit that spongy spot so deep inside you. The eye contact was driving both of you insane.

“This what you wanted? Me to look after you? Me to take care of you?” He questioned lowly, the strained words coming out in a deep husk. He was deadly serious, it was easy to see when he was glaring at you. That steely resolve melted slightly when you rolled your body against his, your bodies slid together so closely that not even a sheet of paper could fit through.

“Yes, fuck, yes.” You whispered against his lips, your soft breaths were being knocked out of you with a very torturous slow thrust. It made your collision all the more beautiful. Miguel had fucked you so many times during that weekend but this, was otherworldly, this was the true connection, this was lovemaking. He was cherishing you, treating you like pearls and gold in his hands and it made you feel lucky to be alive, The electricity was hot, the gaze you both shared was simmering heat encased with something other than just chemistry.

“I'm not hurting you am I?” He asked inquisitively, his voice cool and suave.

“No, no, no, no, no....No, fuck, you're perfect.” You responded in pleading tandem, your eyes widening with a worrythat he would stop

“I love you, you know that? God, I love you.” He babbled and that's when you felt his thrusts falter and your nerve endings singe, it was like he was taking your beating heart and meddling with it to go faster, to give in.

“I love y-“ Miguel cut off your words with a scorching kiss, his fangs nipped at your lower lip and his teeth bit the supple flesh and pulled back, it snapped back into place and a shaky moan fell from your swollen lips and hs grip on your hands tightened.

You were so close.

This sizzling passion was eating you up alive.

Miguel watched your body react to him and it was a sight created in heaven.

“Miggy...Mig...I'm g'na cum...Just wanna cum for you.” You moaned drunkenly. Miguel's lips captured around your nipple, suckling it and grazing it with his teeth before his eyes latched onto yours again.

“Cum for me baby. Wanna watch you cum for me.” He breathed out raggedly, his gaze dimming and hair in disarray.

Your pussy was so drenched for him as always, but this time you were leaking, the slow pace offering a new and rare kind of satisfaction. When his cock nudged and ground on your clit, you knew you couldn't hold it in anymore. Hot euphoria washed over you in waves, and a new kind of electricity coursed down your thighs anf you soaked his dick in your wetness. “Thaaat's it...I'm right here, I got you.” Miguel fucked you through your mind-altering orgasm.

It was so different. So surreal. When that list final whine fell from your pretty lips, he was already cumming before he could even stop himself. He spread your insides a thick stringy white, spurting out how much you meant to him. His strained pants were soaking your glowing skin, and a thin layer of sweat coated your body in the dim room.

“Shit...”He muttered before your lips collided with his. Your tongue delved into his mouth, taking what he would give you like you were a cat chasing after a mouse. Miguel rolled off of you to your side but his arms were still wrapped around you, your lips still connected in that heady unforgettable kiss. Your hands nestled in his hair, your gentle fingers raking through the strands as you broke away from his mouth and when you looked back into his eyes Miguel's gaze was just as piercing as before.

Miguel stared at you.

You stared back at him.

Your cheeks stained pink as you gave him a lazy fucked out smile. Miguel had the urge to fuck you like that again now. He loved what he had just experienced though. Missionary was so much better like this. It was so much better when he looked into the eyes of the woman he loved. When you kissed him on the forehead and told him you loved him, he knew that this was different.

A sudden wash of defensiveness tightened at his chest. You should've walked away from him. He should've walked away from you...but you didn't and that was a risk in itself, no one knew how it would unfold.

Miguel had his temper.

You were stubborn.

What if- What it-?

Miguel watched you like a lovesick fool, your pretty face warming his cheeks and dimming his eyes. He contemplated you for a moment, your presence, your smile, your warmth.

Was it worth it?

Yes.

He wanted to wake up to you every day, he wanted to take you out to dinner, make you feel special, make you his.

You both just gawked at each other blankly, sweet words filling the sweet atmosphere. All this yearning, all this pining lead up to this.

You were flustered. He was flustered.

You felt so fulfilled, so wanted, so needed by him- it had never been like this with anyone.

Miguel was facing his fears head-on with you by his side. His anxieties were quelled with every moment he spent here with you, he found that your soft breathing and guileless eyes were what was keeping him afloat.

-

Y’ALL I HOPE U LIKED THIS SERIES!!! the amount of support is unbelieveable ilysm! i will be writing an extra bonus chapter for u ;)) iknow i def need to do a masterlist and i will get on it soon i promise (tumblr deleted my old one smh)

taglist (giggles): @thel0velykey190 @scaleniusrm @drefear @mafer383 @i-feel-violated @crowleysthings @avatar-lover @wyvernnest @rowboatweeb @schniti-is-in-the-house ri @d1lf-loverrr @iamv1n @ro99se @nxrdamp @mrssabinecallas @jesmynsjoys @xiylio @leahnicole1219 @reine-sans @tallmanlover @neverlandlostchild @axerrri @frieschan @plzfeedmebread @rorel1a @z0mbiekat @rey26 @stunkbiggu @honeycovered-bandaids @hearttjason @brittney69 @thyroidissues @4imhry @pinkliquor @realalpacorn @dr-skazka @simoniithehomii @aisyakirmann @deezisnotreal @synamonthy @bread6069 @iite-cool @thedevax @soymiguelsesposa @heartthrobinsblog @siidmm @queerponcho @luvingmyships @dhollandhs @kehlanilopez @lyrasdrawer

[oliveisme533]

My dad’s neighbor is a dilf

Chapter 4

Joel Miller x You

Summery: You had decided to spend your summer in Austin with your dad. You used to spend almost every summer there, but hadn't spent a summer there since you were a teenager. Which means you hadn't seen a certain Joel Miller in years..

Warnings: abusive ex is back. Verbal abuse and physical violence (not against reader)

You roll over in your bed with a groan and stretch your arms. Grabbing your phone you check the time 10:03. Early for you. You decide to hop in the shower before your dad can ask you to help pick up fallen branches in the yard from last nights storm. You let the scolding water hit your body and you draw in a deep breath. Tomorrow was Monday which meant your dad would be back to work and you wouldn't have anyone to talk to or hang out with until 5 o'clock. Rinsing the soap from your face you contemplated just what to do with tomorrow, in fact you were beginning to wonder how to make use of your summer in general. The last couple weeks of doing nothing had been a much needed reprieve from your busy life, but you were starting to get a little stir crazy. You turned off the water, still deep in thought when you heard your phone buzzing. You tiptoed over to your bedside table and saw Joel's name lighting up the screen. "Why is he calling me?" You pick up the phone ...

Hello Hey sweetheart didn't wake ya did I? No no I've been up...for a few minutes (Joel chuckled) Well hey listen, one of my coworkers was looking for a sitter for tonight. He and the Misses are going out and their regular girl can't make it. Any interest in an easy job for the night? Oh yeah I can definitely do that. God know I've got nothing else going on. Okay I'll send you the info! Thanks darlin'

Obviously he wasn't calling just because he wanted to chat with you. It was a stupid thing to even hope for. The rest of the day went by relatively slowly, but when 6 o'clock rolled around you put some snacks in your back pack, a phone charger, and a book you had been trying to finish for several weeks now. The babysitting was easy. It was one kid, she was four years old and for the most part did whatever you asked. The parents told you they would be out late so when 11:45 rolled around you weren't surprised they hadn't come home yet. The house was quiet...too quiet. You never much liked this part of being a baby sitter. It was different when you did it for Sarah. The millers house was always warm and full of life. Those nights when Joel did get home a little later you felt safe curling up in on his couch with the TV on. Most of the times you would fall asleep like that and Joel would drive you home the next day after making you and Sarah breakfast. You smile at the memory. The sounds of the house settling are enough to snap you from this daydream down memory lane. "Fuck I really don't like this huge, quiet house. What if I call someone to keep me company. Dad will be asleep, so would mom and my sister. I bet Joel Miller is awake..." you stare at your phone and contemplate this next move. "Fuck it" you mutter and tape his name. The phone only rings a couple of times before you hear Joel's husky voice. A twinge of guilt shoots through you as you fear you've woken him up.

Hello? Everything okay? Hey, yeah I'm so sorry did I wake you? I was just restin' my eyes that's all. I ain't in bed yet. Well I just- I really don't like being in these houses all by myself. It sounds stupid but it's kinda scary I guess. 'S not stupid. You want someone to talk to-keep ya company? Yeah... and I figured you'd be awake still, but I guess I figured wrong You're all right honey, I really don't mind. I needed to get off this couch and sleep in my bed any how. But how 'bout you tell me about your day? My day was pretty boring honestly. I played with the cat, ate some ice cream and watched TV Wat'd ya watch? Love island What in the hell is that?

You laughed and proceeded to tell him all about the show. A little while passed and then you heard the lock click and knew the parents were home. You told Joel you had to go to which he responded "alright let me know when you get home safe. Can call me if you want." Back home you pondered whether or not you should call Joel. It was late and you were feeling tired, but you wanted to talk to him. After slipping into your pajamas you felt like you could hardly stay awake much longer, but you were determined to take advantage of this invitation from Joel to call him. So you tapped his name and watched the phone ring. You put it to your ear and your heart sank with each unanswered ring. When it went to voicemail you resolved that he had likely fallen asleep and you decided to do the same.

The next day you woke up early (ish) at 9:00. Your dad had already left for work. You roll over in your bed to check your phone and your heart pounds.

Missed call from Joel Miller 36m ago

You're hoping he's not at work yet and call him back quickly. "Hey sweetheart" he picks up within a few rings. "Sorry I missed your call last night. I ended up falling asleep and didn't hear the phone." It was so nice to hear his voice first thing in the morning. "Oh you don't need to apologize. I didn't really need anything, I just like talking to you" you could almost hear Joel grin as he said "well I like talkin' to you too sugar" you had walked down to your kitchen to put on a pot of coffee at this point when you say "hey why aren't you at work?" "Waitin for some parts to come in for this current job. Until they do there's nothin else I can really do. But the parts are supposed to be here by noon... so I'll get my ass to work in a couple hours" you notice a note taped to the fridge as Joel finishes saying all this. "I completely forget" you mutter to yourself, but apparently Joel hears. "What'd you forget?" "My dad left me a note reminding me that he's gone on a business trip and won't be back until Thursday." "Oh that's right. Your dad did mention that. Told me to keep an eye out for ya." "Did he really? "Yeah I mean you're going to be by yourself in that big house for almost 3 days" "I'm a grown ass woman though!" Joel chuckled. "No ones sayin you ain't, darlin. Dads worry and that don't change from when you're 5 or when you're 25" "I guess that's fair enough" you shrug. "I should get my day started here... might go on a run and catch up on laundry" "Well if you need anything the next couple of days just hollar" You hang up the phone with brief goodbyes and run your fingers through your tangled bed head. You groan as you massage your temple. "What the fuck am I doing?? I'm catching feelings for Joel fucking Miller. What's worse is that I'm flirting with him too"

Against your better judgement you decide to text Joel later in the day Hey what time you get off tonight? I should be wrapping up by 7...Why? You want to swing by for dinner? Nothing fancy. I'm just bored and I don't love being here alone in the evenings for long periods of time lol. Well I ain't gonna turn you down for some dinner. I'll see you at 7:30. Can I pick anything up at the store for ya on my way there? Well if you're offering... maybe some ice cream? And a bottle of rosè You got it

The rest of the day went by slowly. 7:30 couldn't get here fast enough. You were hoping for something to happen tonight with Joel, but you weren't sure what that would be. You hadn't decided if the lingering glances from him were just something you were imagining or actually happening. Around 6:30 you decide to hope in the shower and of course shave...because you never know right? After your shower you settle on wearing a simple, linen dress that's super comfortable and not all that fancy.  At exactly 7:30 you hear the doorbell ring. You jump off the sofa to answer it, your heart in your throat. But when you open the door, you're afraid you might be sick. It's not Joel Miller who stands there, but your toxic ex boyfriend ...Ben.

"What the fuck are you doing? You need to leave" Ben smirks. "Aren't you a delight. I just wanted to talk to you, and since you've block my number I had to take matters into my hands." Your heart was racing. Ben had never shown any physical violence against you, but you didn't know what he was capable and you didn't want to find out. "I thought I made myself really fucking clear that we are over" you said with a shaky voice. "Baby I just don't think you get to make that call. I mean I've done so much to make this relationship work. You can't just throw all that away. You know you're never going to find another guy who puts up with your shit." That was it. Something in you snapped. Something that had been brewing for literally years was about to come out. "No fuck you!" You shoved him in the chest with both palms and he stumbled back just a step, caught off guard by your motion. "Screw you! I don't need a guy to put up with anything about me, you asshole. You act like you're some fucking hero for tolerating the fact that I struggle with my mental health and stuff!" Ben was fuming now. You had never laid hands on him and you could tell the shove had lit something inside him too. "You have issues you know that?! You have fucking issues in your head!" He screamed at you getting up in your face and grabbing your arms tightly, pinning them to your sides. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Joel's truck coming down the street and pulling into your drive way. Ben was now shaking you and yelling "YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH.." he didn't get to finish his sentence because a firm hand grabbed him by the shoulder and yanked him backwards.

If looks could kill...you had never seen such an expression on Joel. He looked like he could tear Ben to pieces right then and there, yet he maintained a calm composure. "I suggest you get the fuck off this porch and don't come back, son" Joel said in a low voice. Ben scoffed. "Get out of here, old man. This ain't your business" Ben spat. "Son, we can do this the easy way or the hard way." Ben let his head fall back and let out a chuckle that sent a chill down your spine. "Is that so?" Without warning Ben threw a punch and Joel and narrowly missed "Ben!" You shrieked. Ben straightened up sent another punch. Joel grabbed his wrist, mid punch and yanked him in close. Joel towered over him. "Do not make me repeat myself again. I said get the fuck off this porch, or things will get ugly." At this Joel shoved Ben forcefully away, causing him to stumble backwards. Ben still looked angry, but now there was a hint of fear in his eyes too. He gave you one last glare and then jogged back to his car.

As soon as Ben's car sped off. Joel sun around. "Are you okay??" He asked, grabbing your face in his hands. "Um yeah" you managed to squeak. "I mean that fucking scared me tho." Joel looked like he might be sick. "I am so sorry wasn't here at 7:30. If I got here on time- " "Joel come on you don't need to do that. It's not like either of us had any idea Ben would show up here. I'm glad you came when you did though." Joel massaged the bridge of his nose. He looked stressed and was probably imaging what would have happened if he didn't show up at all. He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut as if trying to rid himself of the notion. "Joel look at me I'm fine!" You said pulling his hand away from his face. Joel took your hand in his and stroked it with his thumb. "Okay" he said softly. "Did you get my ice cream?" You said trying to change the subject. A smile tugged at his mouth. "Yeah I did, baby"

You had made spaghetti for dinner, about one of the only dishes you were confident in preparing. You and Joel sat at the table in silence and you watched as he pushed his food around. "I'm sorry I'm not a chef...if you want we could just order a pizza?" You suggested. Joel looked up at you seemingly caught off guard. "No no no it's not that! The meal is delicious. I guess I just don't have an appetite. That's all." You pushed back from the table and the chair scraping against the hardwood made Joel jump slightly. "Baby I didn't mean to offend you it's just" you laughed as you reached for the shelf above the stove "Joel I'm not mad I'm just looking for something." Joel slowly walked towards where you were balancing on a stool trying to get the top door of the cabinet open. "Um...what's that?" You grunted as you finally got hold of what it was you were looking for. "My dad's red wine. It's gross too me, but he always says red wine gives you an appetite." You hopped off the stool and thrust the bottle into his chest. "Where's the wine you got me? I would like to get into that like asap." Before waiting for a response you went into the other room where the grocery bag still sat with the ice cream and wine and dug out the bottle. You hastily removed the top and began drinking. "Y/n...slow down what are you doing?" You removed the bottle from your lips and wiped your mouth. "What does it look like I'm doing?" Joel's face was laced with concern. "Okay that's enough. I'm calling your dad, you can stay at mine until he gets home. I'm sure he'll book the first flight back when he hears.." you didn't let Joel finish. He had tried to grab the bottle from your hands "no, fuck off I'm a grown woman. I don't need you calling me dad to tell on me or whatever." Joel placed both hands in his hair and squeezed his head "sweetheart you're clearly not okay! And for good reason... will you just let me help you? I'm worried about you. This shit wasn't in any of the parenting books I read before Sarah.." "you're not my dad!" "No no I'm not saying that I just" ... "is that all this is? You want to fill the void of not having your daughter at home this summer. So you come over here to parent me because my dad's not here? I don't fucking need that Joel I don't want you to see me that way."

...to be continued

[mabelstone]

Congratulations

matt stone x f!reader

genre: enemies to lovers, mature

summary: part three of Provocateur

short one, sorry <3 ran out of ideas but wanted to give you something to tie you over until the next one

word count: 1.4k

cw: workplace sex, oral sex (f receiving)

Monday the following week was anything but an enjoyable shift for you. You were informed you had not been selected for the promotion. The far-too-wordy email didn't disclose who had been selected, but you only needed one glance at Matthew to get your answer. He absolutely beamed all day, a smug grin seemingly cemented to his face as he bounced through the halls, shaking hands with higher-ups, bashful, "ah, thank you"s repeated all day like a broken record.

You didn't say anything. You'd had taken multiple bathroom breaks throughout the morning to calm yourself down and keep from crying.

Call you a spoilsport, but you just couldn't be happy for him. Especially not after his spiel that you had no chance against him given your smaller name. You just sucked your teeth and got back to work. You still had your prestigious dream job, and it isn't like you were expecting to get promoted. It just sucked a little more when it was your arrogant, fucking sexy coworker surpassing you.

He started to approach you, but after examining your abhorrent expression, he decided to turn on his heels and make himself busy elsewhere. Probably gloating via email.

The morning passed you quickly, thankfully. As you were about to head downstairs for a coffee break - anything to get out of the thick, smug air of the office - an email popped up on your screen. Expecting it to be another disappointing denial, you sighed and sat back down, reluctantly opening it. When it rains it pours, you thought, bracing yourself. Bit dramatic, you must admit.

Good Morning,

We do congratulate your efforts upon applying for the editorial position. Although unsuccessful, we are eager to present you another opportunity for the same position. Special consideration, if you're interested.

To spare the boring details, the email essentially provided step by step instructions on how to submit a new article. However, this time they wanted to know more about you and why you should be selected. Basically, they granted you an opportunity to blow smoke up your own arse and make Matthew feel a little less special. You were not going to mess this one up.

***

The evening rolled around quick, the clock reading 6:05pm. You'd spent 8 hours writing your piece, nearly having chewed off all your nails in the process of perfecting it. You even skipped lunch today, far too focused on getting it right to think about anything else. You uploaded your article after diligently following the instructions of the email, logging out of your computer with a relieved sigh.

You rolled back in your chair, a proud smile dancing across your lips now that it was finally done. There was nobody else left in the office as most of your coworkers left around 4:30pm. Of course, all but one, who's office light shone out on the ugly office carpet. You tried to ignore it, getting up to head home for the day.

He must've been waiting for you, whistling out when you walked by his office. For fuck's sake, you muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes before retracing your steps and stopping in his doorway.

"Aren't you going to congratulate me?" He raised his eyebrows expectantly with a slight tilt of his head.

"Congratulations," a contradictory fake smile delivered the praise a little too enthusiastically.

"Close the door."

You obliged, trying to ignore the twinge in your stomach as you caught the glint in his eye that told you exactly what was about to unfold. "Good. Now, come over here and congratulate me."

You sighed, dropping your bag onto the velvet atrocity he called a chair, then placing your work binder on his desk as you walked toward him, stopping before his feet.

He wasted no time grabbing you by your waist, hungrily pulling you into his lap. You were sitting with your legs extended across his, his strong hand on the back of your neck as he pulled you to into the most heated kiss you'd ever experienced. Judging by the indubitable hard-on pressing into your hip, he'd been waiting for this all day.

"I saw you crying today," he broke the kiss to say, soft fingers creeping underneath your dress. "I don't like to see you sad."

"Yeah, right. Spare me," you scoffed, though incredibly resentful toward him, you knew the sex to follow would make you forget about losing, if only for a short while. Your brain was far too clouded with lust to protest his actions as the soft touch on your thigh moved to palm your breast roughly. You pulled him in by his collar, connecting your lips with his so hard your teeth would've smashed had your lips not served as a protective barrier.

He pushed you back gently by your shoulders, warm, firm hands holding you inches from his face, eyes searching yours. "No, I mean it. You're pretty when you cry. It made me feel weird to see you like that still."

You felt weird just hearing that.

"Are you gonna fuck me or are we having a therapy session?"

There you were again, repressing your emotions when things got too touchy. You tried to pretend not to see the way he frowned at your words.

He grabbed you by your hips, flipping you against his desk so hard your hipbones ached dully at the contact - likely to bruise after tonight. He shoved your skirt up above your ass, roughly ripping your underwear down to your ankles. You only managed to step out of one side of them before his tongue was lapping tentatively at your cunt. You gasped his motions, his hands on each of your hips, holding your dress up as he relentlessly ate you out; his tongue flat and heavy with each lick. You clung to the front and side of his mahogany desk, feeling his nose nudge at your entrance, eyes screwed shut, mouth already drying from the panting.

He pulled away fast, unbuckling his belt and dropping his slacks. You turned your head, watching the way he lazily pumped his cock, lathering it with his spit before slamming himself into you. You involuntarily arched your back at this, a sharp breath leaving you at the delicious stretch, that all too familiar sting that soon melted into pleasure.

He was so warm and thick that your vision blurred quickly and you didn't give a fuck that he beat you to the promotion. He placed on hand on your hip, fingers digging in hard to your soft flesh, the other on the back of your neck squeezing ever so slightly.

"Oh my God," you cried out with each thrust, sounding like a well rehearsed pornstar. You turned your head to face him again, his fingers now dancing across your tongue, sucking them the best you could while you moaned his name over and over.

His hand on your hip now travelled to your lower back, pushing your hipbones further into the wood, each thrust delivering a sharp pain to the area. He moaned out this time, throwing his head back as he continued his fast pace. You wondered how he had the stamina to fuck you at such speed the entire time.

You were reaching your peak embarrassingly fast, which apparently was going to happen each time you slept together. "M-Matt-"

"I know, I know," he cooed, and you could feel his thrusts starting to falter. He was close too.

Without warning, you came around him, walls tightening, pulsing in overflowing pleasure.

"Ah, fuck," he came too, filling you without a second thought. He slowly pulled out and delivered a hard smack to your ass, causing you to yelp.

In the midst of your... session, quite a few items had fallen from the desk that neither of you had noticed. Including your work binder, exposing your notes on your most recent article for your 'special consideration,' as it was put.

You caught your breath for a moment, leaning on your elbows, head down to the desk. He'd already pulled his underwear up, and when you turned around you saw red again. He'd picked up your paper and was reading over it.

"They've given you another chance," he asked, though it was more of a statement. You angrily snatched it off him, nearly tripping on your underwear in the process.

"Yeah? And?" It came out a bit more defensive than you'd hoped but you didn't know what to say. You wish he didn't know.

He just shrugged, pulling his slacks back up. "All the best, sweetheart. Maybe your piece wasn't so bad after all."

didn't proof read i'm too tired sorry!! i will tomorrow

[agentroz]

Monday, November 13 -- #OOTD: Come up with five significant full outfits from your character’s wardrobe/life and describe them in detail. 

Warnings: Body image issues, objectification, sexual harassment, misogyny, references to murder (not described)

Dispatches from Disguises and Alibis, 1983-1984

Agent 100:

Enclosed you will find your materials for your upcoming mission. please see that they are returned in a timely fashion.

-D&A

Date: 16 February 1983 Mission Location: Manchester, UK Target: Redacted Contents: Nurse's uniform (dress, stockings, shoes, headpiece)

Roz runs her fingers over the starchy blue material, standard-issue for women in the profession. There's an accompanying headpiece that Roz can't imagine serves a medical purpose as well as some white stockings and nonslip shoes that seem much more practical. There's an irony to it, the way this uniform is supposed to be for people who save lives instead of ending them. But the target deserves it, Roz is certain, and she had better act fast before he can cause any more misery and suffering. She slips the syringe into a hidden pocket in her uniform dress, takes one last look in the mirror, and goes outside to await her transport to the hospital.

She almost freezes when the doctor gives her an up-down look. Does he suspect something? Is she going to bungle her first solo mission?

And then she realizes. No one's ever looked at her that way before. She thought she'd like it more.

Date: 10 July 1983 Mission Location: Palma, Mallorca Target: Redacted Contents: Bikini, sarong

HQ must have made a mistake. There's no way this minuscule bikini was actually meant for her. There's an accompanying floral sarong (and thank goodness for that, because Roz needs somewhere to hide the knife) but it barely covers anything, and Roz feels entirely exposed. Not in the way agents are supposed to be— she knows her story backwards and forwards— but she's acutely aware of the curves of her body, the way she seems to spill out of the thin material. Like that cheesy old song about the yellow polka-dot bikini— except this is a turquoise one, with little strings that tie in the front.

When she raises this with the handler, he shakes his head. "No, that's correct," he says, double-checking the notes. "It's perfect, actually. the less you're wearing, the less likely anyone'll suspect you're hiding anything. And, I mean, it'll certainly distract the target. Why, have you got a problem with it?"

Roz shakes her head. She wants to be a good agent, a good killer. She can put up with some men staring at her ass. How hard can it be?

Date: 29 August 1983 Mission Location: Atlantic City, New Jersey Target: Redacted Contents: T-shirt, khaki shorts, crew socks, fanny pack, trainers

A scratchy cotton T-shirt, a pair of khaki shorts, a fanny pack, and some chunky New Balance sneakers. Another resort town, but this time Roz isn't bringing men cocktails on the beach, she's standing watch outside Caesars Palace pretending to take photos. Another agent leapt at the chance to go into the casino and carry out the deed, and Roz didn't think the handler wanted to give it to Roz anyway after the near-disaster that was Mallorca.

She feels much more herself, standing here and blending into the scenery. Until she hears a man yell something vulgar— and as much as she'd like to pretend otherwise, it's definitely aimed at her. Despite her training, Roz flinches. The man's far away, and he's already set his sights on someone else, but she feels a twinge of fear.

She doesn't understand it— she's always thought she was so good at blending in. Is it the shorts? Are they too short? Does it even matter, or will they just find a way anyway? Maybe it's the seedy nature of this boardwalk, or the fact that it's so late at night... Roz is quite good at cracking codes. She's sure she'll crack this one.

Date: 31 December 1983 Mission Location: London, UK Target: Redacted Contents: Evening gown, pearl necklace, pearl earrings, pearl hairpin (poison dart)

Roz doesn't like this dress either, but she doesn't say anything about it. She's one of the newest, youngest recruits, after all, and she still hasn't forgotten about Mallorca. She doesn't think anyone else has, either. So she sucks in her stomach and squeezes into the shiny blue Gunne Sax dress and pretends to like the way it hugs her curves and dips low in the front. The full skirt leaves plenty of room, anyway, for a concealed weapon, though all she really needs is the little pin that's going into her teased blonde hair. That's where the tranquilizing poison in, which will perfectly set up her associate for the kill.

She establishes herself in a quiet corner, hoping, as usual, to blend into the scenery. An older woman brings a martini over.

"All these young girls, made up like street whores. All clamoring for the same kind of attention." the woman snorts, which confuses Roz. They all looked like they followed the same instructions from HQ that Roz followed. And through her cat-eye glasses, she can see plenty of them looking less-than impressed with the men who seem to want their attention. And yet nobody's commenting on them.

She just nods, though, instead of disagreeing, because she is supposed to blend in.

Date: 20 February 1984 Mission Location: Cambridge, UK Target: Redacted Contents: Biohazard suit

Roz feels safe behind the big bright biohazard suit, her face barely visible, every inch of her body covered. Not just from the fumes in the lab, but from the other technicians as well. Until she doesn't. And that's when she realizes: there is no code to crack. Because it's not about clothes, or bodies. It's about something else, and it's forever.

[uglypastels]

Part 4 of Hell Diver!!!!!

[I promise the other requests are coming soon too but this story just comes so much more easy to me and I honestly needed a bit of an easy fix to get back into writing after volume 2 lol]

Stranger Things: taglist / Masterlist / Inbox

no explicit warnings. swearing. mention of shitty friends and strict parents

Chapter 4: Hamster Wheels

The rest of the day had gone by insanely slow. Most days had already felt like they took an eternity, but that Monday… was some cruel joke from the universe. The minutes just would not pass while the hours took on forever to finish. People around you were suffocating you. Not in the literal sense. Just in the "could everyone please shut up for a second so I can finally hear myself think!" insanity. Since lunch hour, all you wanted was to be alone, which was almost impossible in high school. And the feeling of guilt over what you had done to Eddie didn't make any of it any better. 

Once that final bell rang, you stormed out of the classroom, speeding towards your locker to grab your jacket. If you were quick enough, you could get it and get the hell out of there before any of your friends caught on to you. 

'Hey.' Well, it was nice to dream. You were, of course, too slow. Mary walked up behind you. Her smile was broad in the type of menacing way. 'We were gonna go get some milkshakes. Wanna come?' 

'Uhm, no, I can't. ' Usually, you would never have even let the thought be put up for consideration. How could you say no to a milkshake that would most likely be paid for by some cute guy ha! But now, a place where all those people would be was the last place you wanted to step a foot in. 

Mary raised a brow, hearing your unexpected answer. 'Oh. Got plans then?' 

'Yeah, I got to study for the chem test.' 

'That's not until next week, though.' Why couldn't she just let it go? 

'I know, but I really need to nail this one or my mom will kill me, so I'd rather start early.' That must have done the trick, for Mary's whole demeanour relaxed. All your friends knew how overbearing your mother could get. She was that kind of tough love kind of parent, who really just wanted the best for you… even if it wasn't exactly what you had in mind for yourself. 

That was why you had had to lie to her about why you had come back home so much later than agreed last weekend. For all your mother knew, you were at Stacey's for study club–  it's what all of you had decided to use as a cohesive ruse in case your parents started asking questions among each other. If anyone needed an excuse or an alibi, study club is where it's at. You had never really found a use for it before, never having been much of a party person nor had a lot of guys asking you out, which your parents didn't approve of, but Eddie… 

Well, you didn't have to think much about that. No matter how you would put it, there was no way that your parents would let you within a ten-foot vicinity of the guy. He was what they called a "degenerate". Those you had clear instructions to stay away from. And Hellfire… well, let's not even bother. 

'Have fun then,' Mary said with the last twinge of a smile before walking away in search of her boyfriend's arm to hang onto. The second she was out of earshot, you let out a deep sigh and closed your locker again, letting your head fall forward and lean against it. The cool of the metal was pleasant to the touch, heavily contrasting the actual texture of the door as it had bumps and the edges in the slits were sharp, pushing into your forehead. 

You bumped at it again, then again, but quickly stopped, feeling someone's eyes on you. 

And when you turned around, they were hard to miss. The pair of puppy brown eyes, glancing at you from across the corridor. Eddie saw you as he walked out of the building. Had he been walking by, and you hadn't even noticed? Did he hear you talk to Mary again? Well, at least you hadn't been talking about him this time. There was nothing to worsen the situation anymore. 

As you made your way outside, you wondered if you would ever get the chance to talk to him. Would he ever let you come over to his trailer again to talk about D&D? Would he still let you join the campaigns? Hellfire? 

You hoped so. 

By the time you reached your bike, you could see a cloud of dust practically trail behind the same van you had seen at his trailer. It drove off at high speed. If only you could get out of there so quickly… but the wheels on a bike still went waster than just your feet. Sure, you would have preferred to take your dad's car again, but you only got the keys for that on the weekends.

The road to the town library was a relatively simple one. It mainly was following the road leading out of the parking lot of the school, down Main and taking the third crossing to the left until you were greeted with the sight of the large and old building. Even if it had only taken you about fifteen minutes to get there, the scorching sun above you made sure you felt the energy be sucked out of you from the exercise. With deep breaths, you locked your bike again and walked up the small steps to the entrance. 

Inside, the air was colder but not cold in any way. Even worse, it was stuffy, with no proper ventilation anywhere. You could practically smell the dust of the old books that no one had bothered to borrow in the past few decades. 

You walked past the front desk, giving Doris a kind smile as you passed her workstation, as you knew exactly where you wanted to go. 

For years already, the library had become somewhat of a sanctuary for you. A safe haven. Not from anything in particular. Probably just "life" in general. Whenever people started to feel like a bit too much, and you just wanted to get away, you would come here, grab the first book that sparked some kind of interest, sit in a corner, and read until it was time to get back home again. That is kind of how you found your love for all things fantasy. It was the purest way of escapism. 

You walked straight ahead, through the aisles and aisles of books, to the section you had basically devoured already. Today, you weren't in the mood to search for something new. You needed something familiar that you could grab and go and get sucked into all over again. And you knew exactly where it would be. 

Where it should have been. 

'What?' you said to yourself as you mentally went down the alphabet repeatedly. M… N…O…P. It should have been there, that orange-yellow, almost gold, cover. It practically jumped out of the shelf, and yet… it was nowhere to be seen now. 

You had almost given up the search when you noticed the familiar colour in a gap between books. Lying on its side, the spine called to you from the other side of the shelf, its neighbouring aisle. You had no idea what it would be doing there, but it didn't matter. It was there, and you could easily reach it. 

With your hand already stretching out to it, your heart pumping with excitement to have managed to find the book, you almost scared yourself to death when suddenly you saw something else between that gap of books. The back of the head, looking at the books across, and locks of dark curly hair. 

With a shriek, you pulled your hand away. It couldn't have been that loud, but in a quiet and almost empty library, there was no way he hadn't heard you, and you could just about see him turn in your direction before you knelt down. Keeping your head down, you walked as quietly as possible out of the aisle, hoping to get far away from that library section. Why was this happening right now? Why was Eddie Munson the only other person there with you? While all you wanted was just some peace. 

Not that he wouldn't give it to you; he wasn't the problem. You knew you were. Your mind had already started spinning at the idea of "Eddie". Should you go up and talk to him? Or maybe better ignore him completely? The guilt from school, the same guilt and gnawing feeling in your stomach you had been trying to escape, was coming back even stronger. What was he doing there? Would he just take some books and leave, or was he planning on staying longer, like you? And in that case, could you let yourself stat as well? Maybe this had all been a giant mistake, and you should just go home, but no, this was your idea first. Even if you had no idea when Eddie decided to visit the library, you knew for sure you were the first to come up with that idea. 

Yeah, you were spiralling, and it had taken less than a minute. 

You had, however, made it over all the way to a different part of the building. The letters on the covers of the book had become all blurry in your head, the language not processing what the words were actually saying to you anymore. A feeling in your gut, or perhaps the vast acoustics in the room, told you someone was approaching, so you pulled out the closest book to you, trying to read the back cover of it as Eddie Munson turned the corner. 

'y/n?' He seemed genuinely surprised to see you when you turned to look at him. 'I thought I saw you back there.' He smiled, making you remember to smile as well; your whole body had really started to feel miles away. You blinked slowly, before pushing out a smile and a sheepish laugh. 

'Where?' You played dumb, and thankfully, Eddie went along with it. 

'The fantasy section.' He cocked his head back in the direction of the bookshelves you had just escaped from. 

'Uhm, no, I think you must have been mistaken. I've been here the whole time.' You went back to pretend-read your book. Eddie, still enjoying this little play you were putting up, took a step closer, letting his arm lean on the shelf. 

'Are you sure? Because I could have sworn, I heard you.'

'Oh yeah? What did I say?' You had no idea where this cheekiness was coming from, as it really was not you, but Eddie was bringing out plenty of new sides to you. 

'It wasn't so much words more like a–' he copied your little shriek, 'It kind of sounded like a hamster, if I have to be completely honest.'

'I do not–' you cut yourself off quickly, 'I do not think hamsters are allowed in here.'

'Yeah, that's what I thought, so then it must have been something else, shouldn't it?' He was coming closer and closer, his smile only getting bigger while your heart only started beating harder and louder. Eddie must have heard it by then. 

'Well, I've just been here the whole time, so–' 

'So you've said,' he chuckled, 'And I'm sure… The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money' he peeked at the title of the book you were holding, and so did you, realising you had ended up in the Economics section of the library. Trying to hide your embarrassment, you looked back at Eddie as he continued: '-is a fascinating read, but I really think I had seen you back there.' 

'What makes you so sure it was me?' 

'I suppose it is a bit of a far stretch.' He was now entirely leaning on the bookshelf. 'I mean… we are the only people in here, so the chances of it having been you are… pretty small.' 

'Ha ha,' you rolled your eyes, putting the General Theory back in its place. 'You still have no proof, Munson.'

'I guess I don't. See you later then.' He let his weight fall back on his feet as he straightened up, tapping the book he had been holding on the shelf before turning around. The bright yellow cover made your jaw tighten. 

'Mhm, see ya.' You let yourself roam the Economics section once more, just waiting for him to walk away… with your book. 

You waited a few seconds, but he didn't seem to be going away any time soon. He stood there, a few feet away, arms crossed with a big amused smile. So, you looked back at him, getting a bit annoyed now– you weren't even annoyed at him, just at everything in general. But you pushed it back when you gently asked: 'Can I help you with something?' 

'No, no,' he shook his head, 'I'm good thanks. Was just wondering when you would ask.' 

'Ask what?' 

'For the book.' He showed it to you again, almost taunting you with it. 

'Why-' 

'Here,' he put it down on a shelf near him and started walking backwards. 'It's good. I'm sure you'll like it.' 

'I know.' you reached out for it, unable to hide the smile from seeing one of your favourite books. 'Uh- but, thanks.'  

'Don't mention it.' And with that, he disappeared into another aisle. You looked at the cover of the book, being greeted with the image that in itself had already brought so much comfort to you. As you walked between the shelves to your usual sitting spot, you let the pages slip through your fingers. It was a bit unconventional for a public indoor space, as you didn't go for one of the designated reading spots or one of the large desks in the middle of the room where people usually did their reading. 

You liked to sit down in one of the corners of the library, around the biography section, where the books could quite literally embrace you from all sides. There was a window right above you, too, so the natural light was better than the artificial yellow glow from the old lamps. You sat down on the ground and started reading. 

 In a distant and second-hand set of dimensions, in an astral plane that was never meant to fly, the curling star-mists waver and part…

You read about ten pages, but quickly realised you had barely comprehended anything that was happening on the pages. The words flew into your mind and immediately left as soon as your eyes moved on to the next. If it weren't for the fact that you had already read the book a few times in the past year, you would have no idea what was happening. 

The thought of Eddie Munson having picked out the same book you had wanted to read was occupying your whole being. And the fact he had just given it to you… it made you feel even worse about everything that had happened at school. 

You couldn't just sit there and read, so you got up and started looking in the hopes he hadn't left yet. 

You went through every aisle, turning each corner, hoping you would see him standing in all his Eddie Munson glory that you had slowly started to miss whenever he wasn't around. 

Eventually, you found him at one of the large oak tables. A whole pile of books next to him, as he was scribbling away in a notebook and only looked up from it when you were standing in front of him. 

'Hey,' you said, waving, for some reason. 

'Hi.' he said, a bit unsure, not knowing what you had come for. He glanced down from your face to see you holding the book close to your chest. 'Done already?'

'Oh, no, couldn't really get into it today.'

'That's a shame.' Eddie looked down to scribble down some more words onto the paper. 'Do you want to–' he pointed at the chair opposite of him. 

'No, I uhm, I just– wanted to apologise.' You held the book tighter for a bit of support as it let you focus on something besides Eddie's piercing gaze on you. The way he had his head, slightly crooked, in curiosity for your next words, made a warm and fuzzy feeling grow in your stomach. 'Since I'm sure you had heard what I had said at school, and that was really a shit thing of me to do.' 

'You have nothing to apologise for, y/n. Heavy is the head that wears the popularity crown.'

'I'm not popular,' you scoffed, 'but that's not the point. I don't want you to think that I'm like, ashamed, or something, to be seen with you. You're a really cool guy. But people are so cruel and well, we are not exactly the types to usually be seen together, and then that is just fuel for others to be nasty, to either of us.' 

'We are in two separate worlds, and you're scared that if we spend too much time together, those worlds will collide and will end in a giant disaster?' 

'Sorta… yeah.' He had phrased it so much better than what you had managed to come up with while you had been searching for him. 

'I get it. And I'm not mad, either way,' he said, closing his notebook. 'I get how it is; school sucks, and for what it's worth… I'm scared of my friends seeing me around you too.' 

'What?' your heart dipped a few inches down to your gut. 

'Yeah, what will they think when I start ditching them to hang out with the prettiest girl in school.' 

A warm feeling crept up on your face, and you suddenly couldn't look directly at him. But your peripheral vision still let you enjoy the glimpse of his smirk at you, trying to process the compliment. Then, you needed to change the subject, so you looked at the books he had stacked up on the table. Most of them you recognised to be different Dungeons and Dragons manuals, giving you an idea of what he had come to the library for, but you still asked: 'What are you doing?'

'That is highly confidential and secret information, my dearest y/n, so I unfortunately can not tell you.' 

'You're working on the next campaign?' The campaign he had told you to join. The excitement started bubbling up inside you. 

'If I tell you, I'll have to kill you,' he whispered the words, already looking around himself as if the walls had ears. You doubted anyone in town would care what he had been up to and what he had written in his notebook, and perhaps you wouldn't even have cared if he hadn't made it so enticing to know. 

'C'mon, there must be something you can tell me?' 

'As the Dungeon Master, I have taken an oath to protect and keep the secrets of the world, and there is nothing you can do sway me to your dark side.' 

'Nothing?' you quizzed, giggling at his antics. 

'Nothing,' his dark eyes were so serious, yet you could tell he was having the time of his life right there. More thoughts interrupted your moment, that you quickly pushed aside. Flirting would not be the right direction for this. If it had been some guy offering you a milkshake, you would have gone for it, but you and Eddie seemed to be really hitting it off. Even after these very few interactions you've had with him, you could tell that a great friendship could come out of this, so there was no need to go and ruin this now just for a silly joke about the campaign.  

Maybe, not even that deep down, you did want to walk across to him and pull him by the collar and kiss him, but those thoughts were quickly stomped down. He was a nice and good-looking guy. Obviously, you felt a slight urge to do it. But, it didn't mean anything. 

'Ok, fine, I give up.' You put a hand up in defeat, 'I'll just have to wait like everyone else.' 

'That you must,' he would have said something else, but he was suddenly caught off by a deafening thunder rumbling outside. You could immediately see yourself having to cycle back home in that storm. Where had it even come from? It had been a perfectly sunny day when you arrived at the library, but when you looked out from the windows, the sky was dark grey, and the rain was hitting the glass hard.

'Shit.' Was all you said in reaction to the thunder. 

'What's wrong?' Eddie asked, looking up at you as you still had not sat down.

'Nothing, I'm just gonna have to cycle back home in that.' The once silent library had been entirely taken over by the rain pounding on the outside. 

'I'll drive you,' he got up, grabbing his notebook. 

'What?' 

'Most people reply with a thank you,' he quipped, 'but you can put your bike in the back of my van, and I'll drive you home.' 

'Why?' Your responses weren't getting any better, much to Eddie's amusement. 

'Let's say it's an investment. By driving you home, I'll make sure you don't catch pneumonia or some shit and won't be then eaten alive by endless guilt.' 

'I wasn't really planning on going back home yet,' you admitted, and you could have sworn Eddie's shoulders slumped lightly. 'But can I maybe join you here, for now?' 

'Go right ahead.' And you took the seat opposite him, opening up your book again as Eddie returned to work. Every few pages, you would look up and see him work, flipping through the books around him, tapping his pencil on any surface in a random beat. At one moment, he looked up at you as you had been at him, thinking you were bothered by the drumming. 

'Sorry,' he smiled, stopping subtly.

'No, you're good.' You told him, giving him a smile before going back to your own book. It was very pleasant, the two of you being together yet not. Joined at the table but separated by your own doings. He had his campaign; you had your book. 

At some point, you got so into your book that everything else slightly faded away, and you were only brought back to the real world when ring-covered fingers tapped the top of the book spine. You looked up and met Eddie's eyes, as he leaned over the table to reach for the cover. 

'What's up?' 

'Just checking in,' he shrugged. 'Just let me know when you want to go home, yeah?' 

'Mhm,' you nodded, 'but if you want to go now, that's fine. You don't have to wait up on me; I can just cycle home later.' 

'That is pretty selfish of you, y/n– since you know how guilt-ridden I will be if anything happens to you–  just to go and suggest that.'

You had no response to that, and so you continued your ventures on parallel sides of the table until the sun was starting to set once again, making the skies even darker than they were to begin with. The librarian walked up to you to announce that the place would be closing soon. 

'If you're not planning on checking anything out, be a dear and put them back,' she told Eddie with a kind smile, to which he saluted. Almost a second after the woman left again, he was up on his feet, collecting the books in his arms. You were about to reach for his notebook to help him out, but he grabbed it quickly, taking it between his teeth, letting the pages flap about as he walked. 

'I can help,' you told him, seeing how heavy the books seemed. 

'Thank you, milady, but I shall go on this quest on my own.' None of the comedies you had watched in the cinema matched up to the comedic timing of Eddie having said that and almost immediately falling over by stumbling into the chair he had been sitting on previously. 

'Are you ok?' You asked apprehensively as he regained his balance. With the notebook still in his mouth, Eddie's response only came out as a disgruntled muffled sound, but he seemed to be doing fine. 

You hadn't finished reading your book, but it wasn't your plan anyway. You had just needed to escape for a little bit, so that had been accomplished… whether it was the actual act of reading of your companion in it… 

Eddie put all of his books back, one by one, so you did so as well with yours. Obviously, you were done much quicker so you came back around into the aisle in which he was standing, and without a moment for protest, grabbed the top books in his arms. 

'This shall be no solo quest, today, my good sire.' That was enough from you to leave him speechless. With a chuckle, he let you take the books; noticeably, they were all lighter than the ones that remained in his arms, but still. Somehow, it had become a bit of a competition to see which one of you would be done first. You only had one final book left to place, but it was on one of the highest shelves, just a bit out of your reach. 

'Wait,' before you could ask what was going on, Eddie grabbed you and pulled you up just high enough for you to reach the shelf you needed. It had been a surprise, so the squeak sound that you had made earlier, which Eddie lovingly commented on its similarity to a rodent speech, came back up. 

'Did you hear that?' Eddie said, putting you back on the ground. 'I think the hamster came back.' 

'Hamster or not, I won.' 

'Only because I let you.' He smirked, and you became very aware of your proximity to him. With your back against the bookshelves, you had nowhere to back away, and Eddie was so close that your chest was nearly touching his. 

'Now, why would you do that?'  You asked softly. There was no need to whisper. The library was soon closing, and you were the only ones still there. Not to mention, you hadn't exactly been quiet before either. But this situation called for soft, intimate tones. 

'I'm not sure… maybe it's because I like your smile.' Now it was his turn to leave you speechless. A lump formed in your throat as you tried to process what he had said, which was even harder since he was so close. When he reached out to brush some hair out of your face, you had to suck in a breath. His calloused fingers only ghosted over your skin, but an electricity sort of spark shot through you. 

'We should probably go,' you mustered out, 'before she locks us in.'

'Wouldn't want that.' Eddie's voice had also become much softer, almost a whisper. You could have sworn his eyes had, again, whisked down to look at your lips, and that idea made your head spin. It would only be even if you did the same for him now, right? Just a quick glance at his lips. They were perfect, just like the rest of him… 

'Come,' he said, so close to you now you could feel his words on you. 

'Huh?' You blinked slowly. 

'Let's get you home.' and so, he took a step back. The emptiness between you felt personal, almost internal. Like by stepping away, he had actually ripped something out from between you. A bandaid ripping at your skin, leaving a weird tingly sensation behind. 

Eddie's van was parked just behind the library, which is why you hadn't noticed it on your way inside. The rain had started to slow down, the lightning and thunder hadn't been heard for well over half an hour, but it was still pouring heavily. You grabbed your bike as quickly as possible, and Eddie had already opened the car's back doors and was waiting for you inside. He didn't wait, just grabbed the front of the bicycle and pulled it inside, then offered his hand to help you in. 

'Thanks,' you sputtered out. The two minutes in the rain had been enough to thoroughly soak you, so you were definitely glad to take Eddie's offer and let him drive you home. 

It was a short drive, in which you mostly tried to get some information out of Eddie on what he had been working on. 

'C'monnnn, tell me something. Anything.' 

'What would you like to know?' he asked as he turned a corner into your street. 

'I don't know.' 

'That doesn't really help me, sweetheart. You got to be specific, otherwise I could go on for hours and maybe not even tell you anything worth your while and we'd waste both our times.' 

'That's impossible,' you laughed, 'You could never waste my time.' 

Eddie clutched onto the stirring wheel, stopping the car as you near the house. Before you had started driving, you decided it would be the smartest thing not to drive up all the way to the front lawn, so your parents wouldn't see you step out of some "random guy's" dingy van. 

'Maybe next time I'll let you hear all my secrets.' he put the van in park, and you thanked him again. Then, you both climbed out to the back to get your bike. Eddie opened the doors and jumped out, taking the bike out and again helping you make the little jump. His hand fit perfectly around yours, and even though you were standing quite steadily, neither of you let go. 

'Hey uhm,' he said, the rain making both your hairstyles worse, 'just so you know, I'm really not mad… about anything.' 

'I'm really glad for that.' you squeezed his hand, to which he pressed back. 

'Just, promise me one thing, if you can.' He wiped the hair out of his face, and you did the same. The weather should have been getting better, but it really wasn't. 

'What's that?' 

'Promise not to run away from me again?' 

I like you way too much to watch you walk away from me; that's what he had said when you were leaving his trailer. And how many times had you run anyway? Too many to count, which was too embarrassing to keep track. So maybe he just asked out of annoyance, but the fuzzy warm feeling was overcoming you anyway, which might have been a bit foolish since, in reality, you were freezing in the cold rain. 

'I'll try.'

To be Continued... Leave a review behind!

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[andguesswhat]

The fool on the hill - Chapter 8

This is a thankless chapter but it still had to be written. So here we go...

I’m fine

*

And then everything was overshadowed by a ominous virus. 

It was on the news and in their minds. 

They talked about it, discussed it, tried to evaluate it with each new piece of information they got, tried to classify it, they weighed all scenarios, they talked about every goddamn disaster movie that came to their minds. 

They were worried. About their families, their friends, themselves.

And finally it was certain they had to stop fliming and take a break. 

The crew was sent home. 

Owen went back to Santa Monica. And Tom could understand. Owen wanted to be there for his kids and needed to see his brothers. 

Tom himself decided to stay in Atlanta. He liked being here and somehow he felt safer than being in busy, overcrowded London. 

Well, like almost everybody else he thought that yes, this virus was horrible but it would only take a few weeks and then they could go back to working.  

So Tom went for jogs, went for walks with Bobby, he read, he talked to friends and his family on the phone, he watched movies, he cooked and he read some more… 

But the virus was still there.

And like almost everybody else Tom somehow got used to it. So his worrying thoughts about this pandemic got less and made room for more conventional thoughts… or at least thoughts about Owen.   

Yes, Owen… of course, about Owen. 

Their contact had been more or less non-existing. 

Sure, Tom had texted Owen and asked him if he was alright. But Owen more or less had just replied with “Yeah I’m fine. How are you?” 

Okay, he did write a bit more but still… It wasn’t enough for Tom. He felt demoted to being a colleague, an acquaintance like others, whereas his longing for Owen had gotten even worse. 

He missed him. He missed him sooo sooo much. 

Missed talking to him, laughing with him… and just being near him. 

And far too often his thoughts went to their encounter on that hill. 

He on top of Owen, their hard-ons pressed together, Owen grabbing his ass, pulling up his leg… 

Sometimes Tom even got a hard-on just thinking about that and he would grab a cushion to groan his frustration into. He didn’t want to be the one getting desperate.  

So when he jerked off under the shower he tried to think about 1000 different hot guys but not Owen. Because thinking about Owen was just too pathetic. 

And it hurt so much when Tom slowly had to realize that they apparently weren’t on the same level. 

Because when they were… Owen would call him, right?

He knew Owen wasn’t the guy to text long messages. 

But he could have called, right?

They could flirt on the phone, send each other naughty pics… 

Okay, Tom hadn’t called him either. He didn’t dare because he was afraid to interrupt something. Maybe Owen was with his kids. 

At some point Tom got worried if Owen was really okay, if his mood got worse and he didn’t want to tell Tom, so he wrote him again. But again everything he got was “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for caring. I hope, you are fine, too.” I was just damn frustrating. 

The weeks went by and Tom got more and more moody. 

He always thought of himself as a guy that had no problems being alone. He actually liked being alone. Having his space, not having to make arrangements with anyone, not having to take anyone into consideration. He always could do what he wanted, when he wanted. 

But now in this pandemic with almost zero contact to others… while others were with their families…. it buggered him badly. (And maybe, just maybe, he had gotten a little too comfortable having Owen around.)

When he ran, he wished Owen would run by his side. When he finished a book, he wanted to tell Owen about it and ask what he had been reading, when he cooked he wanted to cook for two. 

But who was he to complain?

The world was in turmoil…

But he was healthy.

He had Bobby to keep him company.

He was fine. 

*

And then.. 

… he wasn’t fine anymore. 

“He… fucking... grabbed… my ass!” he growled into the phone.

Zawe laughed. “Yeah, you already told me…”

“Yeah… I’m sorry... But why, why isn’t he calling? … Or texting?” Anything actually!

For a couple of days now Zawe had to listen to his whining about fucking mean Owen that wouldn’t call him, wouldn’t send him flirty messages (or dirty pics, but he didn’t say that to Zawe, he had to maintain at least a little dignity). 

“And how is this supposed to work anyway? Am I supposed to make him unhappy so we can be together?” He was really upset. 

“You know that it doesn’t work like this,“ Zawe tried to calm him down. “He just has to get used to liking you. And you know that.”

Tom sighed. “Yeah…” Yes, he knew. 

Still…! 

He was so … frustrated.  “I think he is getting used to forgetting about me.” He didn’t even care that he sounded like a pouting teenager in love. 

“Maybe you just have to tell him, you were Rear of the Year. Maybe this gets his attention… ” Zawe burst out laughing. 

Tom just groaned. 

He knew Zawe just wanted to cheer him up. But it didn’t work.  

“I can’t remember telling you that!” he growled. “Who told you?”

Zawe apparently didn’t want to expose the traitor right away so she said, “Who said that I don’t follow this award?” But Tom wasn’t even close to comment on that. 

“Okay,” Zawe capitulated. “It was Josie…”

“I’ll keep that in mind…” Tom tried to answer mockingly but it sounded all wrong. 

“I wonder… Did you get a trophy for that?” Zawe’s voice was still way too cheerful. He wished he could joke with her but he just wasn’t in the mood for it. 

“Don’t make it more ridiculous than it is,” he said with a sigh. There were things in his past he didn’t want to be reminded of. 

At least Zawe apparently gave up trying to lighten his mood.  

“How about I come and visit you?” she asked after a pause. Her voice sounded kind of worried so Tom had the urge to refute that. 

“I’m fine. You don’t have to come.”

“Yeah, I still want to. I want to see you, want to talk to you, face to face... I’ll book a flight for this weekend.”

Tom loved the idea of having Zawe here with him but this was still… “You don’t have to do this. It’s a long flight… There is still a risk you get infected… I’m fine-“

“Thomas William Hiddleston,” Zawe interrupted him firmly, “if you want a baby with me, you have to respect my decisions. And that is one of them. I’m coming to Atlanta this weekend.”

And Tom had to admit Zawe’s decision was worth gold. 

The minute she arrived everything was way easier to handle. 

She stayed for a couple of weeks and they had a wonderful time. It was so relaxed and comfortable that on their last evening together, as they lay on the couch watching a movie, after another day full of relaxed conversations and good cooking, Tom wondered why the hell they couldn’t be in love with each other. Everything would be so much easier, wouldn’t it? 

But love was never easy. It always hurt. Before and after and sometimes in between. 

*

Somehow time passed and in September they were finally able to continue filming. 

Owen called him a few days before and Tom didn’t know what to feel. On the one hand he was tremendously excited and his heart wanted to beat faster. But on the other hand, he was disillusioned and sad that Owen apparently didn’t have as much feelings for him as Tom had for him.  

But Owen probably didn’t realize any of that anyway, because he was constantly talking. He had big news to tell: Luke would also be shooting in Atlanta and they already got a place where they both could stay. Tom was happy for Owen but he was afraid that this would change too much between them. He doubted that they would still spend so much time together when Luke was around.

“Man, it’s so good to hear your voice! I’ve missed it,” he heard Owen drawl on the other side of the phone, all cheerful. 

Tom rolled his eyes and tried not to sound too reproachful when he said, “You could have had that earlier if you had called me.” …once.

“I knooow, I’m sorry,” Owen replied and his tone hadn’t lost a milligram of his cheerfulness. “But we see each other on Monday, right?! Can’t wait to see you!” 

Tom sighed. It felt so good to hear Owen. He didn't want to, but he knew he couldn’t stay mad at him for long. 

And for what anyway?

Either you love someone or you don’t. He couldn’t make Owen fall in love with him if he wasn’t. Even if he wished he could.

So for the next days Tom tried to push his longing aside and was just happy that he was going to see Owen again.  And he didn’t even had to wait until Monday. On Sunday Owen called again to invite Tom over to their place to have dinner. 

Their embrace was long and warm, and it felt good. And even though Tom was sad deep down, his smile was genuine. He loved seeing Owen, seeing him laugh, hearing his drawl… he had missed him so much.

He was surprised that actually everything felt like there hadn’t been horrible six months in between, everything felt like it used to be. Well, before their incident on the hill that was.

But it was a really nice evening; Tom could not say it otherwise. Luke was lovely. And Owen seemed proud of his brother being here and that Tom could finally meet him.

They talked, they laughed and Tom tried to ignore the occasional twinge in his heart whenever he would look at Owen for a second too long. Wishing secretly he would lie with him on the sofa, counting his eyelashes.

“He was so proud that I finally got to meet you,” Luke winked at him, when Owen went into the kitchen to get some drinks. “He has so much respect for you.”

Tom tried to smile.

It was nice to hear that and to know that it was the other way around then he had thought… that it was important to Owen to introduce him to Luke.

But deep down, it hurt.

Because it seemed that sometimes everything wasn’t enough to make someone fall in love with you.

When they hugged to say goodbye for the night, Owen looked at Tom attentively …

“Everything okay with you?”

Tom pressed his lips together before he answered.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

“Oh wait! I forgot…” Owen jumped back in and came back with a slightly tattered book in his hand that he handed to Tom.

“This is the one book I was talking to you about. The other one is apparently on Maui.” He grinned. “So you have to come and visit me there to get it.”

And even if Tom didn’t want to, he grinned back. “Thanks.”

He was moved that Owen had remembered.

“Sure… Good to see you, man” Owen’s smile was soft now and Tom hated himself for falling for him so easily again. He wished he wouldn’t get his hopes up again but he was afraid it was already too late for that.

“Glad you’re back…” he finally managed to say. “See you tomorrow on set.”

And with that he turned and disappeared into the night.

Yeah, he was fine.

At least he would be, somehow.

*

[ultra-deepestbouquet]

May 15 2022, Cherry Popped

After dinner we were struggling. It was only day 2 of partying and being in the hot palm springs sun drinking for hours in the pool was finally starting to catch up with us. I had worn my new sexy midi dress and nude slip on heels to one of the best restaurants in town but we could hardly eat or enjoy the romantic atmosphere because we were so drained. I had two strong cucumber martinis and I could feel the alcohol smoothing everything over for me as I picked at my pasta dish and coconut shrimp. This new coke I has been indulging in all day was pretty strong and I was amazed at how much my body was resisting food but seemed to respond well to more drugs and alcohol. lol We made the best out of our evening and kept the banter light. We didn't really have a plan once we returned to the resort but I could tell Joel was ready to politely say goodnight at midnight. We had finally experienced having sex in front of our dear friends the night before in their bed and it was a big step for us. It did take some convincing and a gentle push by me for Joel to even take his shorts off, only exposing his boxer briefs and when I tried to playfully pull out his cock to kiss him, he finally surrendered. We trusted our friends and we completely let go and lost each other in the moment rather than put on a show. However we did receive an outstanding ovation for our first performance with comments on how passionate, sensual, and beautiful we were. We went to sleep that night exhilarated and wondering what else we could possibly try for the first time the rest of the weekend. So since we were both pretty tired and we had already had our fill of "play" we declined to join our friends for another group play session and decided to stop by and say hello/goodnight to our new friends we had made earlier that day.

Sarah and Jesse were a gorgeous, fun, easy going California born couple that we immediately hit it off with in the afternoon pool time. We had finally dragged ourselves out of bed and I was eager to start another party in the sun. It was Sunday and most of the resort guests were checking out, spending some time by the pool last minute before heading back home. There was definitely a shift of the usual lively energy and the pool was quiet. We were the only couples staying until Monday. Joel and Jesse were joking around a lot, Sarah and I were talking about our homes and experiences in the lifestyle. The four of us laughed so much together, trading stories and getting tipsy. I didn't feel any sexual attraction at that time but I loved how warm and inviting they both were. After dinner we didn't even change, we just headed to their room. Of course they were both still totally nude and I remember feeling a twinge of awkwardness as we approached them fully clothed. I remember laughing to myself and thinking "how strange that I feel awkward in clothes rather than being completely naked."

Joel was finally starting to feel a little better with some help (Adderall) and of course I had my snow and we all settled deliciously into the hot tub. The warm water on a hot summer night was comforting and the blood moon hovered over us, a sign that the night was still young and anything could happen.