#it could not be me

[wisteriagoesvroom]

what item would you bring to a deserted island to entertain yourself with?

lando norris. he’d whine a lot but he’d be entertaining. he would cry when we have to gut a fish and but then he’ll get good at it very quickly. likely we almost die several times cus we try to eat things in the jungle that should not be eaten. we would have fun trading stories over bootleg rum at a campfire. we both nearly suffer mental breakdowns, and make an an emotional support coconut that we christen “max”.

on day 162 oscar piastri turns up in a life raft he build out of eucalyptus bark to rescue both of us. we all almost make out with each other right then and there, but get interrupted by carlos sainz jr who has come to collect his friend in a chartered chopper that he’s flying himself. “lando i have come for you!” carlos shouts on the loud hailer. “we are here too!” i say on behalf of oscar and myself. carlos begrudgingly lets us onto the chopper. we all make international news and it’s a ministerial nightmare to coordinate how we find our way home. also it turns out that the desert island was masterminded by zak brown as a team building slash reality tv gambit to please investors. the end.

[portlandwithyou]

don't get me wrong, I've travelled for shows before, but how is it that these big f*b blogs/twitters have so much money to go to all these different concerts?

[tallbluelady]

🖊+Minthe (HEH)

Hehehe. I've been rotating it, and for thematic reasons, I like the idea that Minthe probably was originally going to Akadaemia for performance in singing and music. She has a lot of natural aptitude for things, but I think that the professors there would likely call her out on the lack of practice. Since she had to take a few science courses to graduate anyways, she fell in love with chemistry and went that route instead. She likes the fuck around and find out method of learning, rather than practice. Ironically, with enough fafo she is technically practicing, but it feels different enough to her that it skips the "I am bad at thing" portion of learning how to be good at something.

Thanks for the ask!

[cunked]

watching final destination. these people have NO regard for health and safety.

[lrndvs]

compliments from girls go hard

[cobble-stone]

[daisyofwaterdeep]

had a dream I went to a hozier concert and mr. hozier stopped singing and pointed to me in the crowd and asked me to go get him some extra crispy tofu and a blueberry shake for after the show and then the crowd passed his debit card to me and when I got it I could see his real legal name was Horace Bob-omb

[swedenis-h]

Wife lovers till they die

[beholdthemem]

My fellow bitches under 5'5. Whatever the money, do not take a job working at a middle school. A fellow adult tried to put me in detention last month and would NOT give up until I showed her my badge proving Yes, The School Hired Me To Work Here. It's not meant for people our height.

[my-darling-boy]

I was at a bookstore looking through the art section and I saw a spine that said The Camden Town Nudes which was interesting because this didn’t seem like the bookstore where I would ever find something like that and I wanted to have a casual look but like. This also wasn’t exactly the bookstore where you felt like you could look at naked pictures let alone just suggestive paintings of them, it’s a really small shop as well, so I was like right I’ll just take a quick peek, I’m an art student, I love history, maybe I’ll buy it. I looked both ways and saw the shopkeep had left momentarily and no one was about, so I opened it and found it was an entire book featuring nude Edwardian women all painted by Walter Sickert between 1905-1912 and it was actually quite a revolutionary set of paintings for its time given that it featured very raw depictions of working class nude women in dark London instead of the elegant, white bedsheet clad, Demure middle and upper class women usually depicted.

And of course RIGHT as I flip to this lady’s boobs practically taking up an entire double page spread, every customer in a 5 mile radius appeared from around the corners of the shelf including the shopkeep and immediately regressing to a wet, pathetic Edwardian man from 1908, startled, I dropped the large book which caused a giant SLAP on the floor in this already silent store thus causing all patrons to look down at me scrambling on my knees to close a giant book of Edwardian boobs and let me tell you it would not have been nearly as funny had I not immediately felt like some Edwardian local pervert who just tried to sneak a cheeky peek at the erotic book in the bookstore only to drop it dramatically causing a scene, red up to his ears trying to shove it back on the shelf. Like such a casual and normal thing in modern day but looking at Edwardian women suddenly turned it into this egregious act as I apparently became possessed by the spirit of a moustached man in a bowler hat and morning coat going Good Heavens I mustn’t gaze upon these images in public lest the constable haul me away!

[bianc0re]

Take a slice

[marfian]

So act 3 huh

[clickityweasel]

had a real life "and everybody clapped" moment and im still reeling. spent the rest of the ride comparing butterfly pics with the old lady next to me trying to identify it

[valtsv]

"objectively physically attractive but in possession of negative rizz" is one of my favorite character concepts. i think it's so great when there's an absurdly hot person who's just a complete fucking loser. the mood is unsalvageable the moment they open their mouth kind of deal. you get no bitches because you're so sucks.

[petshopbutch]

submissive in the way a livestock guardian dog is submissive to the sheep it kills wolves for