#it could be a pre zadr (?)

[sirm0th]

Versión en Español!

Esto comenzó como un dibujo pasajero, pero mi mente empezó a crear una historia y headcanons. Me dio una fiebre de ponys y cuando me recupere había hecho todo esto en menos de dos semanas.

Así que si, aquí hay otro MLP AU del montón.

-------------------------

Versión en inglés! (I use the translator, sorry if there are any spelling errors)

This started out as a passing drawing, but my mind started creating a story and headcanons. I got pony fever and when I recovered I had done all this in less than two weeks.

So yeah, here's another MLP AU from the bunch

[irkenproperty]

ZaDr

THANKU FOR THE ASK BB!

i was honestly about to delete the reblog hmksjddhsk--

SHIP IT, of course c;

What made you ship it?

Admittedly, at the tender age of pre-teen, I'd never been exposed to a same sex couple, whether real or fictional, which made the whole concept of - not only two guys, but also a human and an alien - absolutely terrifying. Being super into cringey AMVs, it was inevitable I'd run across ZaDr eventually... and I hated it, pfff--

It was because I was scared of something different, really. But, after a few months of constantly running into the ship in the fandom space, it became less and less 'scary', and honestly... the aesthetic was growing on me.

The description I put in an IZ speedpaint, back then, had a huge ThIs Is NoT zAdR, iT iS gRoSs AnD wEiRd slapped right across the top, which I eventually removed a few months later as... well... I came to my senses haha!

ZaDr is the most - unintentionally - 'would be canon if made today and not distributed by Nickoldeon' kinda show. I mean, She-Ra had a ZaDr easter egg, for crying out loud - what could have been if someone more progressive, back in the day, had come up with the idea. Sorry Jhonen, but it's true

Favourite things about the ship?

To avoid another ramble, I'll just make a list - height difference, cultural difference, enemies to lovers, hate fucking, realising they're two sides of the same coin when it comes to daddy issues, co-dependency, dom/sub therapy... and just overall two hurt and broken idiots realising they need one another to heal and be happy.

Unpopular opinion about the ship?

... ... Zim is a power bottom and will never grow taller than 5ft - MAXIMUM.

Dib is not a uwu soft boi. He's just as mean and cruel as he thinks Zim is. That boy is a damn bully, and a borderline narcissist.

[bugsabound]

anyway heres a kinda shit pre-zadr oneshot where zim revives dib from the dead for your consideration

also i know the science of it all makes no sense, but were blamming that on alien stuff i guess?

Dib's body was still warm in Zims arms as he rocketed through the basement of his base, down endless tunnels and elevators into the lowermost underground pod that served as a medical ward. It was cramped, far too cramped for zims liking, with computers and control boards over nearly every surface and a harsh metal slab in the middle of the room. Dib was thrown, rather unceremoniously, onto the metal table, body slumping awkwardly against the cold steel,hand falling off the edge and dangling limply. He cursed harshly under his breath, pak legs deploying in every direction into a piece of machinery, with a thought the base spit out metallic limbs similar to his pak legs towards dib. 

“Fucking human” zim hissed, attatching tubes every which way across his body, directing medical aid legs to each and every wound of his. He didn't look at the screen as he typed on the computer, fingers moving with practiced expertise, like this wasn't the first time he's had to do any of this. His own wounds were in desperate need of repair too, the only difference was his heart was still beating. Right now, it's way too hard to assess his own damage when each and every part of him was drenched in dibs blood. He could hear the blood dripping down the table's edge and onto the floor, it was the only sound aside from the light mechanical humm of robots and his own fingers against the keyboard. He smashed a large pink button without sparring it a glance. A small tray extended from nowhere, with a large pink syringe, filled to the brim with the finest irken medical supply he had. It was supposed to be reserved for elites, soldiers, tallests- invaders were rarely deemed necessary enough for the clearance needed for the serum, let alone invaders coded as food service drones and publically labeled irken traders. Not that zim paid that any mind when he loaded his arms full and fled the hospital upon his last trip to irk. An air mask dropped from the low ceiling, zim fashioned it to his face. A robot slotted an iv into dibs arm, another popped his leg back into place with a large, loud, crack that made zim shudder.

The screen across from him glitched to life with a blank heart monitor, zim eyed it with disdain. Hands wrapped around the needle hovering just a second over dibs chest. His antennas flicked forward, usually dib had the tiniest of heartbeats to help him find his aim, but he was dead silent. He took a chance, plunging the needle where he could only hope was his heart, and pumping the fluid into him. He waited, eyes trained on the monitor. Nothing. Shit. he pulled the needle out and tossed it god knows where, crossing his hands over dibs chest and hoping to god he remembered enough of his earthly first aid classes to not make the situation worse. He used his whole weight to shove into dibs heart in a crude approximation of cpr. Again and again, until he heard a rib crack. Still nothing.

“Shit shit shit!” he swore in irken loudly, hands rifling around to a drawer hidden in the wall. It popped open with a hiss and showed an impressive array of small tools. He grabbed a handful of what looked like lock picks, and slammed them on the table beside dib. He took a deep breath, before reaching behind him and popping off his pak with a groan. Nearly immediately emergency lights bathed the room in pink, painting everything monotone. He shoved his pak into dibs chest, with a wince, prying open a compartment with a screwdriver. He refused to be too late. He rifled under the wires with the tools, before manually administering a shock through dibs whole system. One beat registered on the monitor. “Come on, useless human” he did it again. Dibs fingertips twitched against the table. Again. He vaguely worried he'd fry the dib-thing from the inside out. Again. 

A beat. A small beep, then another, he could see the monitor register the smallest, faintest heart beats. Zim let out a heavy breath. His whole body slumped forward in relief, his chest rose under the weight of the pak, then fell, then rose again, a little stronger. Zim collapsed into his hands, smearing both of their blood against his face. Alive. Dib was alive. That was… much too close for comfort. He watched his life counter tick in the corner of his eye, content to wait until the very last second before pulling his pak off the dibs chest. He hadnt meant to get this close this time, he hadnt meant to get that close any of the other times either, even if it was almost completely dibs fault this time. He didn't actually want the dib dead, it'd be so much easier if he did, on both of them no doubt.he shuddered at the thought of what he must've looked like, screaming, tears running down his face, clutching a corpse with all the desperation of a lover watching their partner die. Pushing past any onlookers with inhuman speed and into his own base. With shaky hands he pushed himself up and reached into another hidden drawer. He kept an eye on his timer, and gently stitched a large wound together himself, with the practiced precision of a soldier. 

“Computer” zim's voice was weak, shaky, “how is he holding” he watched the monitor go up and down, it pumped irken goo through his humans body, he knew it sped up the healing process, hed replace the humans blood with gallons of the stuff if it meant avoiding doing any of that again. He tied off the ends of the string, wrapping a bandage tenderly around his forearm, cutting it off with his teeth.

“Erm..” it hummed noncommittally, “stable-ish, not dead.” That was enough of an answer for him. Zim pulled the pak off his chest and back into his back. The alarm lights disabled. He lowered himself to the floor, leaning against the table legs with labored breath. How much blood had he lost? How close was his timer again? Dib was still alive right?  He bumped his head against the cold metal, turning to stare at the dibs hand. It had fallen off the table in the commotion, he watched it twitch with blood pulsing through his veins again. The healing serum should take care of any nerve or brain damage, the computer's first aid should stop any of the too serious injuries from getting worse. 

“Lock all doors, keep an eye on him” It was still so quiet, but the beeping of dibs heart monitor was the most comforting sound he had heard in years. He fell against the metal floors, letting the computer stitch him back together too. “Wake me if his condition worsens”  A weak hand reached up for dibs, and intertwined their fingers loosely, before succumbing to the exhaustion. 

[shadowofthelamp]

I think all zadr fankids should get thrown into a battle royale and try and beat each other up. Twix has the advantage of Zim giving her intensive combat training/being pulled on paranormal missions with Dib that require lots of cardio but her bones are also brittle as hell pre-Pak so theoretically somebody with less physical problems could take her down. (This is assuming hand-to-hand combat, nobody gets guns, yes even if they have a Pak because that would just be unfair)

[amyisherenowitsokay]

You know what just to SPICE it up a bit imma say zadr too bitch

This bitch tryna give me arthritis smdh. Making me out myself for my dual-ship on main, can't even believe a bitch.

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

1. How did they first meet?

School. We must never forget the infamous handcuffs scene.

2. What was their first impression of each other?

Pure, unrivaled loathing.

3. Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

Gaz said "kiss already" and throws things at them when they're getting too far away from "I want you dead" territory and well into "you want to fuck me so bad and it makes you look stupid" territory. Professor Membrane thinks they're adorable.

4. Who felt romantic feelings first?

Dib. Hormones get the best of us all. You can only be obsessed with someone so long before motivations get blurry.

5. Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Zim would nearly break his PAK and commit accidental die trying to delete the emotions or install an emotional inhibitor. Dib would have a full mental breakdown trying to sort through it, which would manifest poorly in his behavior and negatively impact his ability to engage in their usual altercations. Pro tip: if you are painfully attracted to someone, being in a position where they pin you to the asphalt or lean over your desk to hiss insults at you is a bad idea.

6. If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

I stand by what I said on my ZAGR post in that Zim doesn't know what a soulmate is, or the concept of a soul, but given this is in regards to his arch-nemesis instead of a creature he's mostly indifferent too, he'd be pissed at the insinuation he was in any way bound to Dib. Dib's fragile psyche would not survive the revelation.

7. What would their lives be like if they had never met?

Really empty. Their rivalry and parallel situations regarding neglectful authority figures is what keeps them going for so many years.

GENERAL

1. Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

As someone who thinks Zim doesn't understand even the concept of not being a possessive jackass, I think Zim just sort of concludes after awhile that, regardless of Dib's feelings, or even Zim's own feelings, whatever they have makes them wholly and entirely each other's. Just completely and hilariously misunderstanding the concept of a relationship, but still being incredibly presumptive in assuming they already have one. He also doesn't let Dib know of this revelation either, so eventually Dib explodes about his crush, and Zim's like "we are already together???? moron???" Dib could argue, and he kind of wants to, but he also never expected Zim to reciprocate, so he just sort of nods and is like "you know what, sure" and that's the end of it. They do not have an anniversary, but Dib's not really like that, and Zim doesn't know anniversaries are a thing anyways.

2. Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

Again, stealing from my own ZAGR post, but I don't think Zim's really a 'date' person who would plan out that sort of thing. Dib is an awkward moron with arguably worse social skills than even Zim, and mentally comes to the conclusion that dragging Zim on investigations is basically like a date, and Zim doesn't bitch about it anymore than expected, therefore he is a master of romance, so it's fine.

3. What was their first kiss like?

Awkward, and quick. Dib is not a great communicator, nor is he great at explaining things like human demonstrations of affection, especially not when Zim's scowling impatiently at him through is fumbling and stuttering. He just goes for it, and it's quick and he misses his mouth almost. Zim is extremely surprised, especially when Dib makes terrible excuses about needing to be elsewhere and flees. Zim does his own research, and their second kiss is predated by a lecture about being better than Dib at everything/Dib being bad at everything. It is much more successful, even if afterwards Dib instigates a fight about Zim's tongue being weird.

4. Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

First everything, except kiss. Gretchen kissed Dib in high school as a dare. Zim will never forgive her for it.

5. What’s their height difference? Age difference?

I'd die to make them the same height, but I think the image of Zim being average height while Dib is a gangly big boi is just too funny. Zim would be pissed, and Dib would be so smug but so uncoordinated.

6. What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Gaz interacts with them as minimally as possible, because they are loud and gross and annoying, but she's okay with Zim overall. They have a mutual understanding that Dib is stupid, completely reckless, and requires constant supervision to keep him from getting eaten by a ghoul or something. Gaz does genuinely trust him to skewer anything that tries to kill her brother, but she also knows that Dib isn't the only one with 0 sense of self-preservation. Dib was initially wary of Professor Membrane's reaction, because his dad is sort of unpredictable when it comes to his only son, but the Professor's only commentary is that he is glad his son finally made it official with his 'little green friend.' Dib then realizes that the implication in that perpetual comment about Zim had air quotes around that "friend" part all along.

Dib thinks Gir's gross and loud and doesn't get him, but he likes to team up with him and/or use him as a means to annoy Zim. The Base hates him, because now there's two morons with no sense of self-preservation that it needs to keep track of. Minimoose and Dib are bros.

7. Who takes the lead in social situations?

Zim, if only because he is arguably more 'charming' than Dib's fumbling attempts at communication with non-paranormal parties.

8. Who gets jealous easier?

Zim. Dib I think would have his 'HTTYD Hiccup moment' as he gets older, but still has that ingrained low self-esteem from years of ridicule and abuse. He is completely oblivious to the new attention he gets. Zim, however, is not. Dib never really notices the cause of his weird snarling and clinginess, but he shrugs it off as Zim just being weird and continues with whatever he was doing.

9. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

Zim is a slut, I will die on this hill.

LOVE

1. Who said “I love you” first?

Dib. He says it casually, in the dark, when they're on a stake-out to find some wood goblin or something. He says it like he's talking about something plane and unremarkable.

I think a ZADR relationship would need Zim to be a lot more independent in terms of researching how romantic relationships 'work,' since Dib's not a great communicator, and there's an ingrained rivalry that will never dissolve between them, no matter how many times they kiss, so Zim would be a lot more motivated to figure things out on his own. He would, in this circumstance, know the weight of Dib's way-too-casual admittance, and it would be a huge shock to him. He'd be pretty shaken about it for awhile, and Dib's not bothered when he doesn't reply. Dib would be pretty sure Zim would never admit it, but he does, eventually, because he refuses to be a coward about it.

2. What are their primary love languages?

Verbal affirmations. With their self-esteems firmly in the toilet in Zim's kitchen, being able to have someone validate them who they respect would mean a lot to them.

3. Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

Dib. He uses it to start fights with Zim about linguistics and metaphors. Also, he's 99.9% positive Zim secretly is flattered by it, but hates that he is.

4. How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

Zim is very clingy, but Dib's too on the move to really pin down for a good cuddle frequently. He's twitchy and his minds always racing, but every once in a while when Zim's completely fed up, or Dib's running on fumes but still forcing himself on, Zim will all but pin him to a cushioned surface and force him to sleep. Neither of them are PDA people.

5. Who initiates kisses?

Zim. Dib's really shy about it, and also normally too distracted to pay Zim the attention he so obviously deserves, and often misses Zim's 'signals.'

6. Who’s the big and little spoon?

PAK not comfy against sternum. It's also easier to force Dib to sleep if he's the big spoon, because he can pin his limbs.

7. What are their favorite things to do together?

Paranormal investigations, and morally ambiguous and/or largely dangerous experiments.

8. Who’s better at comforting the other?

Dib, which is hilarious, because he's about as smooth as a cheese grater, but he is very attuned to the person he's been obsessed with for years, and he can also relate to a lot of his issues. While Zim usually shrugs off the sentimentality and the empathy, dismissing it as 'pity,' the affirmation means a lot to him.

9. Who’s more protective?

Zim. He has to anticipate his lover's stupidity to make sure he stays alive to hunt ghosts another day.

10. Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Verbal. Hormones are real, but there's something that eases the sting of years of abusive in a crooning praise or a sincere compliment.

11. What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

https://open.spotify.com/track/3IvUhEVbbA81QnEVhsFHiH?si=b3c5787c9ff14105

12. What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

It is primarily age-old insults that lack the bite and sincerity they once had.

13. Who remembers the little things?

Dib. Zim isn't inattentive by any means, cataloguing all of Dib's weird habits and nuances and what not, but for all the compensating Zim does to keep Dib safe and healthy, Dib reciprocates in meaningful gestures. He remembers to pack Zim-friendly snacks on their road trips and ways to keep Gir entertained, if they have to bring him. He always checks the weather and has an extra coat, just in case. Never makes Zim feel bad about needing to check, just one more time, to see if he got any incoming messages from home.

DOMESTIC LIFE

1. If they get married, who proposes?

Dib.

2. What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

It's just Gaz, Minimoose, and Gir. Membrane is too far away to attend, but that was deliberate. Dib didn't want his tendency to make things about 'the Membrane line' effect the intimacy and importance of the ceremony. Also, Zim insists on incorporating some Irken rituals into it, so it'd be hard to make excuses and explanations to why Zim wants Dib to fuck with his weird pink backpack during their wedding.

3. How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

No kiddos. Neither of them would be interested, even if it was biologically possible.

4. Do they have any pets?

Seriously, Gir counts, right?

5. Who’s the stricter parent?

Dib. Zim refuses to parent Gir when Dib is more inclined to do it, since he's more irritated by it.

6. Who worries the most?

Dib has perpetual anxiety. So does Zim, but he masks it better.

7. Who kills the bugs in the house?

Dib, to prevent the gooey grossness that is Gir's bug-breath.

8. How do they celebrate holidays?

Just with Gaz.

9. Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Zim will strap Dib to a bed himself to get him to go the fuck to sleep, because it's been over 48 hours you insufferable human, and--!

10. Who’s the better cook?

Dib's idea of cooking is a microwave, salt, and pepper. Zim is forced to learn the wonders of human food to keep his idiot from dying of malnutrition.

11. Who likes to dance?

Gir.

[themangledsans0508]

Bed Bug

Read on Ao3

Summary:  Bed bugs are usually small. Not this one.

Words:, Oneshot

Warnings: None 

Characters: Dib, Zim, Gaz (minor)

Ships: Zadr

Additional Tags: Pre-Relationship, Breaking and Entering, Watching Someone Sleep, zim is being creepy, Dib is confused, gaz is going to commit a crime

It was hot.

Too hot, really. A summer night with a temperature of over sixty degrees. It didn’t sound hot, but it was to Dib. He had always been more sensitive to warmer weather than cold weather, so his window was open in a failure of an attempt to cool himself off.

He had a screen in, he wasn’t insane. He didn’t want bugs, or birds, or small creatures coming inside his room. It worked sometimes, but sometimes was enough of a chance for him to risk something else coming in.

So there he was at one in the morning, lying on top of all his blankets in a loose tank top and boxers with his fan on high and glasses askew on his face. He was too lazy to take them off before attempting to sleep. The light of the street light outside his house was the only light he needed as he closed his eyes.

                                                               ~

When he woke up he couldn’t see shit. Everything was burry to the point it was simply a mesh of colours. He instinctually slapped his hand around the bed where his glasses may have fallen but found nothing. His plan B was to reach over his end table and feel around there. His fingers grazed the temple of his glasses and after a few more attempts he was able to pull it towards himself enough so he could put them on.

Glasses on, the second thing he noticed was his window screen was askew, a corner protruding from the frame that was slightly bent. Wasn’t the first time, but it still bugged him slightly.

The third thing was his calves and feet were much hotter than the rest of his body. They were covered by a blanket he knew he hadn’t put there. He grabbed the hem of the blanket and tried to tug it off. It didn’t budge. His confusion grew as he tried to pull harder and it still didn’t move. He changed tactics and tried to move his legs instead.

Bewilderment changed to fear as a weight pushed down on his legs to keep them in place. The blanket shifted slightly and he saw a flash of crimson and green.

“Zim?” It stopped moving. Dib sighed. “Zim, I know it’s you.” Claws stretched into his vision and clenched the blankets underneath them. The crimson eyes came back, although shaded so he couldn’t see the face they belonged to.

“I am not Zim,” the creature insisted. Dib cocked an eyebrow.

“Dude, I can tell it’s you from your voice.”

“Lies.”

“What are you doing in my room?” Zim retreated back into his blanket safety, out of view from Dib.

“This is not your room. Zim is not here.” Dib looked around. The same scratches on the walls, the hole from the door slamming open too many times, a few burn marks from lasers, definitely his room. He crossed his arms briefly then returned them to their position of holding him up.

“This is my room, and you are right there.” Dib quickly grabbed the blanket and ripped it off, sighing internally at the sound of the fabric tearing from Zim’s attempt to keep hold of it.

The Irken was crouched in a way he looked sort of like a dog laying between its owner’s legs. His legs were folded beneath his body, his arms tight against his side with only his claws sticking out, and his antennae back against his head. He hissed at the exposure to the open air.

It would have been cute if it wasn’t creepy.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Dib demanded. Zim slowly crept back until his leg had nowhere to go and he fell on the floor.

“That is none of your business!” Zim hissed.

“You’re in my house, so it is my business,” Dib snapped. He took a moment to compose himself and another to process what was going on. Zim had broken into his house, which while it wasn’t exactly common, it wasn’t unusual either, even if he typically announced himself. His screen was out of place, something that was beginning to happen more and more frequently. Then a blanket was put over just his calves. Finally, his glasses were moved off his face. It left him with one answer along with lingering questions.

He stared at Zim blankly. “Were you watching me sleep?” Zim stiffened.

“I was doing nothing of the sort,” he insisted. Dib looked over his body.

“Did you poison me? Put some syringe in me? Plant bugs?”

“I did nothing. Nothing!” He scrambled for the window and Dib dived to block his way. “You will let Zim leave!”

“Tell me what you did to me!” There was a loud thud against the wall and an angry yell.

“Will you two shut the fuck up?” Gaz shouted. Dib cringed slightly at the thought of her wrath in the morning but stayed put.

“Zim, what did you do?” Zim’s eyes narrowed. The way he looked reminded Dib of a cornered racoon. Narrowed eyes, arched back, he was even walking on all fours.

“I did not do anything,” he growled.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Do you want to know what I was doing? I already told you. It was nothing,” Zim snapped.

“You breaking in, being a fucking creep, and spending who knows how long in my room while I’m asleep is nothing?” Dib exasperated. Zim nodded.

Coming to the conclusion Zim was not going to give him any straight answers, Dib sighed. “Fine, you can go. Just stop breaking into my house, please? I’m begging you.” He moved aside and Zim darted for the window, his Pak legs coming out and tearing the screen from its place. He jumped through in haste and dashed down the street in the darkness of the rising dawn while Dib watched in confusion.

He decided that he was buying something to whack him with just in case it happened again.

[andyyoureastarr]

d-do u have any ~~vintage zadr~~ recommendations that aren't smut? :'d (nothing against that stuff, it's just not for me)

heck yeah! here are some “oldies” from long ago (like 2012-2017) 😁    (warning: long post)

Cartography by Word-Spitting-Dragon | ~286K | T | In Progress

Summary: Resisty!Zim AU: When the Irkens start exporting dangerous goods outside of known Irken space, Zim and his fellow R.E.S.I.S.T.Y. members decide to take a look, hoping to expose something they can use to finally end the Irken Menace. But what lies out in the farthest, uncharted corners of space? And could it really help the rebel cause? ZADF eventually ZADR

Notes: I’m obsessed with this fic. It’s funny, it’s in-depth, and it takes its time (hence the word count). It’s honestly worth taking the time to read it, though. All of the characters are great; the author clearly put time into making them their own while still being true to canon with main characters like Dib and Zim. Lots of romantic tension, lots of drama, and lots of twists and turns. I have a weakness for crying Dib, and this fic delivers. It’s the main inspiration for my current WIP, and I can’t say enough good things about it.

The author doesn’t seem too worried about including smut, and has said that, if they were to do so, they’d probably keep it out of the fic and publish it as a side-story oneshot so that people who are less into smut don’t have to worry about skipping around in the story.

Say I’m the Only Bee in Your Bonnet by DesdemonaKaylose | ~6K | M | Complete

Summary: “Magazines and a vague feeling of inadequacy.” Zim fantasizes about the future and Dib did not ever intend to join the football team.

Notes: Technically kind of pre-ZaDr, but worth mentioning. Absolutely phenomenal fic. Zim and Dib are in-character. Rarely do IZ fics with a teenaged Dib truly dive headfirst into making him a ridiculous, silly teenager (as all teens are, sorry, teens). This one does it and does it well. The writing is great, and Zim is spot-on and hilarious. Can’t say enough good things about it! 

Verd’ika by DesdemonaKaylose | ~7K | G | Complete

Summary: “Maybe it starts with zombies. Maybe it starts with a rescue mission. Maybe it starts somewhere outside of what scientists and historians can quantify. But it is universal, wild, and unabashedly stupid.’Do not touch him,’ the Irken says. ‘That soldier is mine.’”

Notes: Written by the same author as Say I’m the Only Bee in Your Bonnet, this fic is also just so good. It’s styled as being part-story, part-encyclopedia entry about irkens. It’s also not strictly romantic, so I guess also pre-ZaDr, but both of DesdemonaKylose’s fics are so good, I literally can’t get enough of them and they should be on every ZaDr reclist, in my humble opinion.

Chicken Soup, Approximately by (you guessed it) DesdemonaKaylose | ~3K | G | Complete

Summary: It was like he was going to be sick, only, if he puked now there would just be little cartoon hearts all across his boots. Wow, he thought. Look at the Dib-Monkey go.

Notes: Ok last one by this author, but I’m sorry, it’s so perfect. Dib goes feral and Zim is Into It. Literally what more could you ask for? Plus a Zim POV fic is a rarity in itself and this one is just *chef’s kiss*. (Also I realize that this is from Summer 2019 so not certifiably vintage, but we’re letting it slide this time.)

a swarm of bullets tearing the air by punk_rock_yuppie | ~2K | T | Complete

Summary: Dib has a question. Zim has an answer. Or, how Dib embarrasses himself by testing out different possible alien kissing rituals.

Notes: Silly and cute, written by a talented writer. Honestly, I would be captivated by the way this writer describes water. I believe they have at least one other non-smutty ZaDr fic that you can check out as well!

The Human Kribliss by Swing-21 | ~44K | T | Complete

Summary: ‘This hatred belongs to Zim and no one else,’ muttered the alien with contained fury. ZADR

Notes: The summary really doesn’t go into details on the story, but it’s your classic fun space adventure where Zim and Dib get into lots of trouble. Love the OCs in this one – the author takes real care to tell their stories as well. I’m obsessed with Kinn, personally. Additionally, this story is super fun, Dib and Zim are ridiculous and great. I would add that this story’s sequel, The Uprising, is especially fantastic; it has the same elements as the first story, but you can tell that here is where the author really hit their stride. Keep an eye out for Dibship, who makes his first and I think only appearance in IZ fanfics. 

The Cosmic Exclamation Mark Series by cupidty11/@gaylienz | ~3K total | G-T | Complete(?)

Summary: Wherein Zim and Dib are traveling in space and this is a kind of glimpse at that. Where they are partners/friends/and somethingmoreish.

Notes: These are all great little fics starring a spacefaring Zim and Dib. This author is probably the most prolific IZ writer out there, period, and I reread a lot of their works when I get the chance (including the smut fic that I recommended to @foolishwormhuman a second ago, lol). This series I think is especially well done, and provides neat little glimpses into Dib and Zim’s life together

That’s about all I got for right now! I hope you enjoy yourself some ZaDr: Classic 😊😊

[poepoe-thebunny]

Random ZaDr + Irken Anatomy +Society HC

1) Irkens have both antennae AND inner ear holes, they simply don't have the outer ears like humans do.

- The antennae can pick up vibrations and are extremely sensitive, and are connected with small bendable "joints" for lack of a better word.

- Despite knowing this, Dib and Zim have an ongoing spat about Zim not being able to hear anything. It ranges from Dib making old man jokes, to getting frustrated when Zim takes his headphones and judges his music selection.

2) The Tallest devices/armor essentially hold their upper body up. Due to a mix of biology and lack of movement, the Tallest would essentially fall over because their spine could not support their upper body.

2 cont) I personally headcanon that natural Irken bodies (pre-armada) did have the shorter form most have, and that's where the "Tallest" trait first became a status symbol. It was essentially a recessive trait that didn't occur very often as Irkens evolved, enough to stick out but not enough that the trait itself became common.

3) However once Irkens started "manufacturing" the Armada forces, a lot of contingency plans were put into place to keep the rest of the forces shorter and "weaker", via biological experimenting and their PAKs.

- Some Tallest even began looking into ways to maintain their form and "power", which is what prompted all of the anatomical research in the first place. This is why Red and Purple's anatomy looks so stretched out, thin, and weak.

4) When they first got together, Zim was almost disturbed by how much he was learning about his own anatomy. Not because he didn't enjoy being with Dib, but because he was becoming starkly aware of how little he knew about his own biology.

- Dib, once he figured out what the problem was, backed off and had several very serious conversations with Zim about them, their relationship, and boundaries since he figured out that Zim was learning side by side with him.

5) Irkens don't necessarily have mates in the same way humans do, since smeeteries exist and their society is very militarized. Zim and Dib's relationship is very unusual by Irken standards, since Irkens rarely have any sort of positive relationship with another species at all, much less a romantic one.

6) Zim, like other Irkens, can purr. It usually happens when he is warm and happy, so usually when he's cuddling with Dib. Dib thinks it's adorable but Zim is embarrassed.

- This is because Irkens view purring as "PDA" and "weak". They've been told they represent the Armada, and are keenly aware of how such affection could be seen as "soft" so it's discouraged.

[yumotohakone]

The eldest of my ZADR kids--Nix Ripley Membrane! (They/them)

They’re shown here naked, in three casual outfits (including one with their human contacts), as a child, and in their commander uniform!

More about them under the cut!

Nix is the eldest of the ZADR kids, and the first and only “accident” of the bunch--as, uh, Dib and Zim didn’t even know they could make a baby together.

Nix is incredibly headstrong, curious, and a natural leader. They have a strong sense of justice and have always been a “hero”--they’re the kid who would get in trouble for beating up bullies. This, of course, eventually led them to discovering and enlisting in the Resisty, where they eventually became a highly revered, skilled, famous commander with control of their own ship and small fleet.

When working, Nix is incredibly focused and level-headed, to the point of appearing very mature and mysterious, almost cold at times--which is why it’s so shocking when the newbies of their crew see them on vacation, where they become a fun-loving, silly goofball who tears it up on the dancefloor. 

They are best friends with Gir, after all. Nix also has a very strong relationship with their parents and with their younger sibling Halley, and is highly protective of their family. 

They have feelings for Irken Highest Indigo, and even gave him the nickname “Indy,” but they can’t be with him because they’re on opposite sides of a war. Though, when on neutral ground, they do spend time together. 

Nix’s hobbies include researching Irken culture, pre-control brains, because they are the most connected with their Irken side, out of the ZADR siblings, and they have a soft spot for the Irken language and poetry. They also tinker with coding and machinery.

[ladyofdecember]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Invader Zim Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dib/Zim Characters: Zim (Invader Zim), Dib (Invader Zim), Gaz (Invader Zim) Additional Tags: Shopping Malls, Friendship/Love, Could be considered pre-ZADR Summary:

Summer means no skool and that means finding creative ways to "study" humans and if that means time with Dib then so be it. Or, Zim is very sneaky at getting Dib to spend time with him.

[themangledsans0508]

Temporary Serenity

Read on Ao3

Summary: Pinned down on the couch by an unmoving invader, Dib is confused.

TUMBLR NOTE: This was written for @/Bamsara (who saw it on Ao3, which is why I'm not tagging them) and while not exactly their Zim and Div, is heavily based on them

Words: 589, Oneshot

Warnings: None

Characters: Dib, Zim

Ships: Zadr

Additional Tags: Fluff, Confusing Relationship, Pre-Relationship

Flick.

Flick.

Flick.

Dib had half a mind to shove the alien that was currently laying on him off. However, Zim was warm and it was winter.

He also could bite Dib’s hand off if he tried.

He rapped his fingers against the strange metal that made up Zim’s Pak. The dusty pink glow filled the room, combating the flashing of the T.V show Gir had left on while he did God knows what.

Zim’s eyes were closed and he was rather still like he was sleeping. Dib wasn’t so sure, as for one he didn’t know if Zim was even capable of sleeping. After that Zim was whacking his antennae against Dib’s cheek without stopping.

He wished he could reach his phone, take a picture and ask his sister what he should do. But alas, his phone was on the floor somewhere from a scuffle he and Zim had gotten in earlier.

It made him wonder what they were. Enemies, friends, something else? They argued, fought, argued some more, then end up in positions like this. Almost domestic. He raised his fingers to his eye, some fresh claw marks streaking under it. Zim had bruises popping up on his cheek and bite marks just above where his glove ended.

What did they even fight about? Dib couldn’t remember.

Not that he cared or that it mattered, they fought over everything. He could remember fighting over how to pronounce “adult.”

He kept tapping his fingers again Zim until one of his eyes opened slightly and a gloved claw reached over and grabbed his hand, pulling it over and tucking it beneath his head before closing his eyes again.

Now Dib only had one hand.

He used his free hand to flick Zim’s arm.

“Dude, are you even asleep?” He asked and got no response aside from an antenna moving from his cheek to his nose. “I have things to do, come on,” Dib stated a bit louder.

“Don’t lie to Zim, Dib-stink. Zim knows you have nothing to do.”

“I totally have things to do!” Dib argued. Zim chuckled, sending vibrations through Dib’s chest.

“Like what, Bighead?” Dib opened his mouth to answer then paused, closing it if only to keep Zim from shoving something in there. “As I thought,” Zim snided, using his antennae to hit Dib some more. “While you have no reason to attempt an escape, I have reason not to move from this spot,” Zim boasted. Dib cocked an eyebrow.

“Which is…” Dib dragged out the “s” while he waited for Zim to answer and watched him hesitate before grinning broadly.

“Zim will remain here until you starve, after which I will impale your body and use it as a… what do you humans call it… ah, yes! A scarecrow!”

“You mean like Vlad the Impaler?” Dib asked. “And that is much tamer than usual.” He paused in thought for a moment before a smile blossomed on his face. “You just want to lay on me! Wait, why do you want to lay on me?”

“Shut up, you misunderstand Zim’s intentions.” Zim pushed himself up, his hand putting a fair amount of pressure on Dib’s chest.

“Zim had only planned to immobilize you, but somehow you are so insufferable and smelly that I have changed my mind. Zim will just kill you normally now.” Claws went for his neck and skimmed him as he rolled off the couch, heading straight for the invader’s legs. So much for the peace they had experienced moments before.

[shadowofthelamp]

Greener Grasses

Thinking about this post about Swap Zim. Might add a continuation later.

Wordcount: 1050

Warnings: Light Zadr

“I’d be a good irken,” Zim declared. He was laid out on his back, one leg bent up at the knee and the other crossed over it as he stared up at the sky through the haze of pollution. Dib had offered him his telescope, but he said that he kind of liked picking out shapes and patterns in the smog when they were outside. That way, he could choose his own constellations from what he could see, since it changed every night.

Dib was sitting up- his Pak made it a bit difficult to lay on his back without a chair specifically designed for an irken. He was watching Zim more than their surroundings- when you’ve seen dozens of planets, the sky from one or another is only an exercise in finding Irk again as fast as you can. In a sky as polluted as this one? Forget it.

“You would,” Dib agreed, and Zim puffed his chest out, pleased as punch. 

“Of course I would!” He turned to look at Dib. “So, how many kinds of jobs are there for irkens?”

“Well, there’s as many as we need to keep the Empire running. We can get slave labor or drones for the boring or mindless ones.” Dib started counting off on his fingers. They’d have his head if they found out he was telling secrets to an inferior pre-contact species like Zim, but the smile on Zim’s face and the chance to just talk without judgement was too good to pass up. “I’m a military biologist- I study local animals on planets that are either marked for conquest or already under Empire control, to see what they can be useful for before just exterminating them. Gaz is an invader- they sneak in under the radar to study planetary weaknesses. There are scientists, soldiers, historians…”

“I’d probably be a soldier. Or even better, a commander!” Zim raised a fist, and it shook slightly from how tightly he was clenching it.

“Really? I’d think you’d be an inventor or biological engineer. You’re good at that, despite having such pitiful resources on this planet while your mind was developing.” Dib tilted his head. “Or still is, rather. Humans only fully mature in their twenties, right?” 

Zim raised an eyebrow. “I am a good inventor, but I’m meant for... for something more!” He grinned. “You landing in this city… it was a sign. A sign that Zim had been made to show the world what I can really do.” He leapt to his feet. “With your alien stuff and my brains and rugged determination, we can accomplish anything.” He practically marched to the edge of the roof, and Dib used his Pak legs to push himself up before following him as Zim folded his arms behind his back.

“That doesn’t tell me why you’d prefer to be a soldier. Inventors still give the soldiers their cool guns, and those are needed to actually conquer anything.”

“The military is important for irkens, is it not?”

Dib nodded. “Most of the Empire revolves around keeping it well-oiled.”

“Then that’s where I’d belong. Right in the thick of everything, creating glory for the honor of the Empire- and for myself.” His fingers twitched. “I’d know exactly who and what I was, and my name would be on the lips of every recruit down-rank of me. Everyone would know and respect Zim.”

Dib’s antenna twitched- there was something in Zim’s voice that he couldn’t quite decipher as he stared down at the city below, the lights flickering against his scarred face like the embers of a crashed engine.

_____________________

“Are you sure about this?” Dib raised an eye as Zim sat up on the table. 

“Of course I am.”

“It’s risky.”

“Life is risky. I could get hit by a car tomorrow, and this could save me! Do you want me to get hit by a car, Dib? Huh? Do ya?”

Dib pulled down the extra-thick goggles and snapped on a pair of medical gloves. “Of course not, I just don’t want you whining to me during recovery.”

“Zim does not whine.”

“Zim forgot last week with the werewolf.”

“Hey, he came up behind me! You were supposed to be lookout!” Zim protested, before Dib pulled out the drill. The color flooded Zim’s face as he realized it was bigger than his head. “So that’s-”

“I’m drilling holes into your spine to install the Pak properly. Unless you want me to just slap it on and have it decide to attach sideways?” Dib moved to set the drill down, and Zim waved his hands. 

“No, no, I can handle it!”

“Good.” Dib set a hand on Zim’s cheek, and the human leaned against it, nuzzling his skin against the glove. “I’m glad you want this. Humans live such short, sad lives.”

“Humans stink,” Zim agreed with a slight nod. “And this will-”

Dib pulled his hand back. “It will extend your life significantly and will shift some of your insides to be a bit more irken in order to maintain compatibility. Your skin might change hue slightly, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you develop a few more allergies, but we can always just get you more irken foods, that won’t be too big a deal to just up the orders from Foodcourtia that Gaz and I need anyway. You’ll still be mostly human. I’ll need to keep monitoring you for about a month, of course, but after that there shouldn’t be too many surprises.”

“You’ve said the Pak has your brain. There’s not-”

Dib shook his head. “It’s factory-clean, don’t worry. They send out replacements if one gets damaged sometimes, for the computers to reupload particularly important irkens into. The only one who’s going to be in there is you once it fully syncs with your memories.”

Zim nodded, sagging a little in relief as Dib pulled out an anesthetic mask. 

“Good. This is my body, no one else can have it!”

“Now, just relax.” Dib set the mask over Zim’s face, and within seconds his eyelids were fluttering. “When you wake up, it’ll all be over.”

Zim gave a little smile before his body fell limp in Dib’s arms, and Dib carefully laid him down on the table before picking up the drill.