#it caused me a lot of grief trying to figure out how to work fox into the pose XD and it only worked this way

[omaano]

Hi! May I send you a polyam prompt - D1 with Echo/Fox/Fives? :3

Sorry, Fives, everyone prefers their Caf to you, especially in the morning.

Thank you for the request @ithillia ❤️I had to shift around the pose a little bit because I couldn’t fit Fox in there any other way 😅 that level of smush is just not his way

Polyamorous/platonic poses

and the other drawings I've made for them

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[legends-live-in-memories]

For The Love of a Father (Idea)

AYO it me! this was inspired by an idea by @1rosebyanyothername in the MGI server. (i copied this directly from the server so rip my punctuation)

“What if somehow Thomas Wayne managed to live but lost his memory, so he moved to Paris, taking on the name Thomas Dupain?

What if he then married Sabine Cheng, and then eventually had Marinette?

So Bruce would be Marinette’s half brother, around 8 years older than her.”

So this is what I came up with as a part of brainstorming for it. (again not a fic but an idea that i should not be allowed to have)

without further ado:

Okay so imagine they, Thomas and Martha, were pronounced dead on scene but when they get to the coroner's office Thomas wakes up but since this has already made big public scandal the coroner tries to be discrete and ships his unconscious body off to like Strange or someone who then confirms the memory loss or gasp does it himself and ships him off to who knows where cuz the underbelly of Gotham has plans and a living Wayne ruins that but he didnt kill him cuz the Wayne foundation funded Blackgate and Arkham so out of mercy he doesnt kill him but ships him off to Italy in the care of one (1) ☝ Gina Dupain who was all new son and rolled tf with it

now he is being careened off to Paris cuz his 'father' Roland lives there but since Thomas was already a grown man at this point he just tries to live on his own and this is where he meets Sabine and they have a lovely daughter named Marinette Martha Dupain-Cheng

he doesnt know why he chose Martha but the name comes with an intense feeling of love so of course he would name his first daughter after that name

now either this is set in like fox series Gotham where we have young pre!batman Bruce or whenever but if you choose that route then maybe immediately after the series during his sabbatical he finds himself in Paris and would you look at that his dad his sweeping floors while a girl no older than 6 is calling him papa and Bruce just fucking breaks and he doesnt know what to do cuz he thought this man was dead but no he has a new family a new wife a new kid and Bruce has spent all this time grieving this man so he walks in trying to figure out wtf is going on but then Thomas looks up at this now 18??? yr old Bruce and there's a pleasant smile and 'welcome to Tom and Sabines how can i help you' and no recognition and Bruce then realises he has truly lost his father and now when he becomes batman its not with the grief of losing his parents but with the pain of losing his father twice

so then fast forward and cue to 13 yr old Marinette and being ladybug and wonder woman tells the league of a problem in Paris and Bruce just like freezes cuz wtf and internally he's spiralling cuz he never recovered from his discovery of his father's new simple life but the mission comes first and the grieving 12 yr old inside has to take a backseat for now so he sends someone (maybe midnighter but idk much bout him so someone else like wonder woman) to find out more and get in contact with those dealing with the situation so they schedule a meeting with ladybug and chat noir and Bruce nearly swallows his tongue cuz he doesnt give a f bout magic and magic cant hide those eyes cuz he sees them every morning in the mirror the same shade of blue (idk if it was Thomas or Martha that had blue eyes and i dont think canon knows either) and Bruce just knows this is his father's daughter his sister and she's caught in the same life as he but not because she condemned herself to this life but cuz some ras al ghul wannabe forced her and now he's seeing red but he cant lose his cool cuz batman doesnt lose his cool

so they work together but this little girl no taller than his ribs is hesitant and cautious and she's cracking under the pressure cuz her partner has other responsibilities and she has to pick up the slack and she doesnt know what to do and now Bruce is this close to revealing himself to her and explaining everything so that she has a bigger shoulder to lean on but he cant cuz hawkmoth and magic and secret identities and its a whole mess

(he is absolutely ready to go apeshit during weredad but he doesnt but its a damn near thing)

NOW we cut to when Mari is like 16 and theyre closing in on hawkmoth but he cant focus too much on that cuz 38 yr old Bruce just picked up a child and holy shit how does one parent and his sister?? can he even call her that?? is handling the situation so he takes a bigger backseat on Paris and focuses more on cleaning up Gotham and training/raising robin

and now things are kinda mellowing out and everyone falls into their new routines and roles in life Bruce almost forgets that his dad is not dead and during an investigation he finds out that Hugo Strange was responsible for shipping his father off like cheap export and now he's torn because he knows Strange can undo it,,, the bastards done worse and more complicated shit over the years undoing memory loss that he caused should be piece of cake but he doesnt want to take away a father from his child cuz Bruce knows how that can absolutely ruin someone and he's grown fond of his sister even if the relationship is severely one-sided she's family and Bruce couldnt do that to family but ,,,, but he misses his father he loves Alfred truly but nothing replace the Thomas and Martha shape gape in his heart so he does nothing

NOW he does however want to bridge the gap between himself and Marinette cuz he wants to know his father's new family even if the thought of his father loving someone other than his mother and calling someone else his child makes him viscerally ill he is nothing if not addicted to self-inflicted punishment after all

so he invites her whole class over to metropolis as some scholarship trip (he'll be damned if he brings his tiny sister to gotham of all places) and tries to get to know her there but he cant do so under much professional settings so he lets it slip casually in a presentation about his parents and includes a picture of his parents and he sees the looks the girl’s classmates throw around cuz they know that man as her father not his but no one can deny the resemblance so after the presentation she discretely goes off to talk with him in private but everyone sees them and knows whats happening so there is no time for pretense but they go into a back room and they talk and talk and talk and cry a little bit maybe a lot and they make promises to get to know each other

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

Ok here's the next entry in what I think I'm going to refer to as the "hero's Burden AU." I'm going to try and divide the idea into sections to help me organize my thoughts and help make things easier to digest. But two notes first before I begin: 1) this idea is free for anyone to use if they feel like it. While I like to think I'd be able to sit down and write this fully one day, my life is too chaotic right now to commit to it and I'd like to see what people think about it even if it's little ideas. 2) this is mostly for you cap, feel free to let me know if I'm spamming the inbox too much or like overhearing or something. I don't want to bother anyone becuase I'm rambling or posting where I shouldn't or something. I know you'll probably think it's fine but you know *shrugs* anxiety...

Okay on to the actual topic which is I want to start with the villains and what their motivations are as well as how they'll actually be antagonizing Paris.

To begin here's each members motivations as well as their miraculous match. First is Gabriel who lost Emile to a tragic accident and kind of disillusioned himself with reality in his grief. He's become obsessed with the idea that he can change anything for the better and he turns to the miraculous and the spell book (I'll expand on this further down) to do so. His miraculous is the fox. Part of this is becuase his experience as a designer makes him much more able to create illusions of how he wants reality to look like. This is kind of the other part of his choice in that he kind of looses himself in the falsehood of his vision. He can't accept the loss he's experienced becuase he's GOING TO fix things. Emile is never gone, just out of reach in his mind.

Nathalie shares a motivation with Gabriel but leans more on how focused she is on the discord it's caused in those she cares about. She misses Emile a lot but she's more worried about how far gone Gabriel is and how that's affecting Adrien in the progress. She considers them her family too and she'll to anything to give them back that stability and peace, hence the choice to weild the ladybug. Her fault is that I. Her pursuit is in bringing back the order that existed before rather than adapting to change.

Gorilla gets a lot of back story here. Essentially Gorilla was always known for protecting people. He used to be a decorated officer on the force with a wonderful daughter waiting for him at home. Unfortunately a criminal manages to pin a murder on him and not only gets the Gorilla sent to prison, but his only daughter gets put into the foster system. He spends years inside with only the thought of seeing his daughter again holding him together. Unfortunately even though he gets out a few years early do to good behavior (he became practically mute inside.) he finds out that he can't regain custody of his daughter as she's already been adopted by another family. Eventually he ends up working for the Argestes since they're the only ones willing to look over his record. When they eventually offer him the turtle with the promise that he can both get his daughter and protect everyone he cares about, he joins their cause. He has less fault with his miraculous and it's more about who she's choosing to punish/protect.

Next I'm thinking Ms. Medeleiev (wow that's a tough one to remember the spelling). She gets an expanded back story too in that she's a former renown scientist with a huge focus on the environment. She sees the damage done to the earth and she sees the very real doomsday clock that will happen if things aren't taken seriously. One day she used her research to challange a massive company responsible for a horrific amount of pollution but instead the company somehow managed to forge documents to completely shatter her reputation. Becoming a science teacher was the best she could do after that. The villain team see her as someone willing to do what must be done to "save the world" and so, while she stubbornly hates the fact that magic is somehow real and is desperate to break it down into a science she can understand, she joins them. Her miraculous is the black cat so that she can show the world what kind of destruction is waiting for them if the world doesn't wise up. Her fault is that she used chaos and destruction for fear when, in truth, death and chaos are the tools meant to pave the way for the new.

Now finally it's the Bee which is kind of where I ran out of steam. I've been trying to think of others that i would be willing to turn to the more darkside but still have some shred of morals. Instead I decided to go with someone who could probably follow a more traditional villain mindset and likely serve as a corrupting influence to the villain team since honestly the idea is that these are people who are trying to do good but in like the worst way possible. They kind of need that push to stop them from questioning themselves and keep them on their path. Someone to show that despite redemption and redeeming qualities being very important topics in this potential AU, that some people are honestly genuinely selfish and are likely driven more by fear than any real positive desire. That's why I went with Audrey for the Bee. She's someone that the villains think is easily manipulated but instead is slowly corrupting them. Audrey is driven by a deep fear of time itself. Aging, decay, and loss of legacy are what drive her. She wants a world where beauty is eternal and so is she. That's how her use of the bee is twisted. Freezing everything eternally with no chance for change or growth becuse there's fear that those changes won't be for the better.

Okay this is getting long but we're almost there. The last part is an explanation of how they go about their plans and how they can stay a threat despite having static miraculous. Remember the spell book? That's the key to their plan. The miraculous make them strong but the spell book is what let's them take action. Gabriel in his studying of the spell book has discovered that he can actually cast powerfull spells if he uses pages of the book itself as the power sources since its filled with leftover magic from past guardians. So essentially he figured out what he wants to do, rips a page of the book out and fills it with desired spell and so begins the plan. The heroes, in order to save the day, have to capture the page itself since it needs to be at the center of whatever its doing. Capturing the page and breaking the spell also reverts the world back to the way it was before it was cast. So over time the more pages they use, the less spells they can cast, and the more pages the heroes can collect, and thus the heroes start learning more and more from the information they gather. (also to make sure things aren't too easy for the heroes, the pages loose their magic after the spell so while the heroes learn more about magic and the miraculous from the pages they collect, they can't just turn around and start casting their own spells.)

Okay heres the final part. I want to end this segment with an example of what one of their plans/spells would do. As a spinoff of stormy weather, Ms. Medeleiev would use a spell to cast a super storm in the city as an example of the kind of damage global warming can have on the weather and that that if the world wants to prevent this disaster from happening then the heroes must turn over their miraculous.

That's it for the villains. Feel free to let me know what you think.

————

YOOOOO DUDE THATS DOPE I LOVE THE AMOUNT OF CHARACTER YOU THREW INTO THEM THATS AWESOME

I can imagine like this haunting image of like, Gabriel miraging an illusion of Emilie just to talk to because he’s so lonely and disillusioned that’s so cool dude

[dascarecrow]

Scarecrow Thoughts - Wandavision Ep. 6

Beware of spoilers 

-Title is “All-New Halloween Spooktacular!” So we’ve gotten to the Halloween episode. Was expecting it to be later in the series. 

-Opening credits are an homage to those of Malcolm In The Middle. Interestingly Agnes and Pietro both are credited during this. Hmmmm... 

-We get straight to the Halloween stuff and we get some solid personalities for the twins. Billy is the more thoughtful and tempered one, going into a diatribe about the spirituality of Halloween. Tommy is the snarky and abrasive one, thinking Halloween is just about candy. Nice touch, I wasn’t expecting much distinction between the two. 

-Billy is speaking to the audience directly, so I guess they’re going wholesale on the Malcolm in the Middle vibe. 

-Billy is dressed up in his Wiccan costume from the comics. Really didn’t expect that.  

-Pietro is sleeping on the couch while the twins debate waking him up, unaware that he just did and pranks them a bit. So Quicksilver is in the role of the looser, fun uncle here. About what I would expect. 

-Wanda hears the commotion and comes downstairs, dressed in her classic costume. The twins both get some depth with their responses. Billy guesses Old Red Riding Hood, showing some snark of his own. Tommy actually likes it, showing some sincerity and warmth but changes his opinion when Pietro claims it’s lame. 

-Wanda claims the costume is supposed to be of a Sokovian fortune teller. Nice bit of backstory, don’t know if that’s the case in the comics. I don’t think it is. 

-Pietro reminds Wanda of one Halloween as kids. Wanda remembers them getting a fish, much to their young selves revulsion. Funny scene but there is gunfire in the background so trauma rears it’s head again. Wanda claims she remembers the incident differently and Pietro notes she’s suppressed a lot of trauma. 

-Billy comments that Wanda had been acting oddly since Pietro’s arrival but puts it down to her not seeing him for a long time. Uh Billy if your fully aware of what’s going on then get a message to a nice lady named Monica Rambeau, she’ll be able to help you and your family. 

-Vision comes downstairs in his classic costume, which is simply great. We get an example of his and Pietro’s relationship which is mostly Pietro’s childishness clashing with his straightforward nature. Vision notes that Wanda hasn’t spoken about her brother much, which might be a big contributing factor to this whole mess. He also gives his opinion that Pietro is “great with kids”. Woah Vision did you just snark of your own volition? I know you got a dig in on Ultron but dang. You were built by Tony Snark after all. 

-Vision reveals that the costume was all that was in his closet, with the implication that Wanda made so it was all that he could wear. It also seems that Wanda has a thing for Mexican wrestlers. I did not know that. 

-Vision heads out on his own, much to Wanda’s confusion. He claims that it’s for neighborhood watch duties but Wanda is confused but it’s not what he’s supposed to do. Vision interrupts her and she stands down so he still has his awareness of things being wrong and Wanda can’t push too hard without more problems it would seem.  

-Billy comments on Wanda and Vision’s recent issues but Pietro notices him speaking to the audience. Intriguing. 

-The conflict gets settled with Pietro offering to step in for handling the boys tonight. He spooks Wanda with an in-show jump scare, which might hint at more sinister doings. Wanda comments he can’t for lack of a costume but he just zooms out with Tommy and both come back wearing their comic costumes. So good. Also this might be coincidental but Pietro’s hairstyle could also be devil horns. Regardless Wanda threatens to magic him into a pickled herring if he causes too much trouble. 

-Outside of the Hex, we get to enjoy the “How do you screw up a bad situation for the worse show.” Hayward has officially broken through the ice and I... I really wish he hadn’t. So from now on I will be calling him Haywad for he is unfit to be addressed by his actual name. 

-Monica calls Haywad out on his stunt with the drone while he tries brushing her off. Darcy snarks at how he got outdone last episode and he questions if Darcy works for SWORD. Actually a good question. She’s with Monica it would seem. Hayward gets his own moment snark by asking who’s the sassy best friend but good old Jimmy tells him off for trying to diminish the people who are actually handling the situation and know what their doing while also trying to start a fight with Wanda. 

- “Maximoff was never going to negotiate with us.” I’ll admit she probably wasn’t going to but trying to blow her up before even offering her a chance is a bit too far Haywad. 

-Haywad wants to take Wanda out as a quick and easy fix to things but Monica makes a point that they don’t know for certain that will happen or what else might happen if she dies while the Hex is up. A bit of a reach and I can see Haywad’s logic but I’ve heard worse rationales. 

-Monica continues her defense by pointing out that they don’t have anywhere near the firepower to outstrip Wanda and winding her up is just escalating things worse. As Monica puts it Wanda is the problem and also the only workable solution they’ve got. 

-Haywad is unflappable in his position, declaring Monica an impediment to the mission but he doesn’t stop there. He gets on her case for her defense of superpowered beings, even acknowledging her history with Carol. He goes on a rant about how the Snap devastated the world and how difficult choices needed to be made in light of what happened. The narrative almost paints him as a man pushed into a bad state of mind by how the world was ruined. And I call bullcrap. 

-Monica’s response? “Don’t use the last five years as an excuse to be a coward.” Oh yes! I hate it when people try to use their dark past as an excuse to lash out and lower themselves to cruelty. I also love it when these people get called on their bullcorn and have how selfish they really are laid out. Tragedy befalls us all... and life goes on uncaring of our struggles. 

-Heywad’s response is to belittle Monica by telling her it was a good thing she wasn’t here for her mother’s death because she doesn’t have the stomach for their work. Oh you son of a... those aren’t fighting words, that’s a full on declaration of war.  And he follows that up by ordering Monica, Darcy and Woo expelled from the area. 

-Woo notes that Heywad is overstepping his authority with this stunt. Oh Jimmy you magnificent so and so I could slap you with a wet pancake! I knew Heywad was up to something that could give him trouble and you just made that clear for the audience. This isn’t just a SWORD mission this is a co-op between them and the FBI. And the dorkrector just tried to force their main agent on the ground off the assignment for no reason. Oh ho ho, Heywad just put himself in the line of fire and I can’t wait for someone to pull the trigger. 

-Woo cold clocks the soldiers escorting them off base and Monica joins in, knocking them all out. “Why didn’t anyone tell me the plan?” Oh Darcy never stop being delightful. After stashing the soldiers and going with the old MCU standby of disguises that don’t really disguise you the trio gets back to work. 

-Back in the Hex the family gets going on trick or treating with Wanda taking the chance to question Pietro about their past. He knows she’s trying to test him, admitting that he looks different from how she remembers. He guesses that it’s because Wanda doesn’t want to be reminded of the past in her little bubble of paradise. Is he aware of what’s going on or what? 

-Pietro takes the kids off to get into some mischief while Wanda goes to speak with Herb. The brief sequence is hilarious but Herb reveals that Vision isn’t on duty for the watch. Then there’s a slightly disturbing scene where Herb asks if Wanda wants something changed. She declines but it’s clear something is going on. 

-Vision is off by himself and sees a couple repeating the motions of setting up Halloween decorations. One of them sheds a single tear. Oh not that cheap trick for drama again. Also eerie.... 

-We get to the commercial for the episode and it’s one of those claymation snack commercials. Which ends with a kid starving to death and turning into a skeleton trying to open the snack. Uh... Okay then. Let’s just go back to the... just as ominous parts of the setting. 

-Wanda makes the boys return the candy that Pietro helped them steal and is upset with how bad of an influence he’s being. Pietro notes he’s just playing his part, literally that is. He’s hitting all the boxes of the standard fun loving uncle in a sitcom. He says to Wanda that she wanted “to give you grief”. Okay hopefully Pietro’s presence is Wanda trying to work through the grieving process so she can figure out what’s going on and fix it. 

-Wanda questions Pietro’s missing accent and he fires back about how she’s missing hers. He claims that the details of his return are fuzzy, the last thing he remembers being his death before Wanda called for him. This does not prove it is the MCU version of Quicksilver with a facelift okay. It could still be the Fox version with MCU Pietro’s memories zapped into his mind. 

-The boys get excited about a candy score and Tommy literally zooms there and back with superspeed. He doesn’t even seem aware of it until Pietro points it out, at which point he does as children and has fun with his new powers. I just love how Wanda just catches him no problem while he’s zipping around, no powers needed. She lets the boys head off for some solo candy hunting but warns them not to go past Ellis Avenue. I know Ellis is the name of a comic worker I just can’t remember which one. 

-We return to the SWORD base for another installment of “Keeping your idiotic boss from destroying the world.” It is sad that there are actually enough moments like this in the MCU to be a thing. The trio find a computer room and Monica discovers Pietro’s presence in the Hex. “He brought the wrong face” So funny! Monica doesn’t want to hang around too long, which is smart. Darcy hacks into the computer systems for the compound, which is extra smart. Seriously a degree in astrophysics and computer hacking skills, what have you been up to in the... decade since we last saw you? 

-What does Darcy find? Well Haywad found a way to look through the boundary and didn’t tell anyone. I am so looking forward to his downfall. Turns out Vision is being tracked through the decay signature of vibranium, which I will admit is at least clever. The tracking method also shows the residents of Westview in Vision’s immediate vicinity. Good old Jimmy goes right into work mode, figuring that Haywad must have a near accurate head count and assessment of the residents wellbeing by now. He takes note of the denizens at the edge of the Hex barely moving and questions if they’re even alive. 

-Cue Vision discovering a group of completely immobile residents. Wary of the whole situation Vision assumes his normal superhero look and takes flight, discovering that the inner depths of the town are plenty active and behaving normally. This is a very well shot sequence just showing him flying and capturing the unsettling nature of what’s going on. While airborne Vision takes notice of a stopped car near the border. 

-Turns out its Agnes in the car. She seems to be in a mental short circuit at the moment. She asks Vision for directions... in a town she supposedly grew up in. Vision worriedly does his mind trick to free her suppressed personality and she quickly identifies him as an Avenger, believing he’s there to help everyone. Vision does want to help but is clueless about what an Avenger is, so it seems he hasn’t regained any of his memories yet. This leads to the “Am I dead?” discussion from the trailer. Vision needs it clarified for him that Agnes believes he’s dead. Several times. Vision wants to leave Westview to figure out what’s going on but Agnes questions how. No one leaves, which isn’t true you just have to tick off a reality warping witch. Agnes identifies that Wanda is the one in peoples head, preventing them from even thinking of leaving. While that does sound incriminating we still don’t know everything that’s going on so I’m staying hopeful. Agnes isn’t however as she winds up going on about how “All is lost” and cackling until Vision zaps her brain back into the illusion. So I guess she isn’t evil here. Once Agnes is back on her disturbingly merry way Vision makes his way to the boundary line. 

-Back with the trio Monica gets a response from her engineer associate who is coming with the way back into the Hex they started on last week and wants to head out to meet them. Darcy mentions they can’t do that. “Sure we can. I’m a whiz at hot wiring cars.” Ha ha ha ha ha! Okay that was funny. Monica thinks the worst case scenario is her getting whammied and dressed up again but it turns out Monica specifically can’t go back in because every time she crosses the boundary her cells get transformed. Monica balks at the data, mentioning she’s seen enough lab results for a life time. She goes on and talks about what she went through with her mother’s cancer and reveals that’s why she wants to help Wanda, because Monica has been through grief like her and wants to do what she can to help her through it. 

-Darcy chooses to stay behind so she can find what Haywad is hiding, feeling it could help them get answers about the whole thing. Monica and Woo aren’t crazy about the idea because of how dangerous it is but relent and go on their way. The Son of Odin would be proud of you Darcy. 

-Back in the Hex Wanda and Pietro talk about how nice Westview is and how their parents would have loved it. So of course Pietro ruins it by asking where the kids were until now. Okay that’s a bit unsettling. He thinks Wanda just had them asleep and didn’t want them traumatized, which starts getting her bothered. Pietro praises her for her handling of the ethical ramifications of her little bubble. Families and couples aren’t split up, most personalities are close to their normal ones, they even have better jobs. Pietro how do you know all of that? Wanda is surprised that he is okay with all of this, which sadly proves that Wanda is aware of what she’s doing. Pietro is actually impressed with how much Wanda’s powers have grown. 

-Pietro continues the ominous vibe by asking how Wanda did all of this. She’s reluctant to tell him but he wins her over with their familial bond. Wanda doesn’t know how she’s done all of this, just remembers overwhelming and all consuming grief. So we’re about where we started and what’s behind all of this. 

-Wanda takes a moment to compose herself and sees Pietro as his gunned down corpse for a moment, just like she saw Vision two episodes back. Pietro questions if she’s okay and balks when she tries to confirm she is. Seriously what is up with you Pietro. You better not be Mephisto I swear. 

-Darcy finds something called Cataract in Haywad’s files. The file says its Eyes Only so I think she can’t see what it actually is but I don’t know. She sends an e-mail to Jimmy before she notices that Vision has made his way to the boundary. And she notices because Haywad did. Uh oh. 

-Vision crosses the boundary but I wouldn’t say it’s successful. There’s an energy effect connecting him to the line, which seems to be trying to keep him in or pull him back in. Parts of Vision start breaking off and getting pulled back into the field. 

-And where is Haywad during all of this? Just standing there doing nothing while commenting on how much Vision must want to escape. Okay Haywad if your going to be a jerk and possibly evil then can you at least be smart at it. There is no reason for you to just be standing around. Unless your hoping that some part of Vision is still remaining for you to collect but I highly doubt that will happen. 

-Darcy charges in to try and help Vision but of course these guys are from incompetence incorporated so they keep her from helping. Oh Haywad is going to get the mother of all lighting bolts shoved up his rear when Thor finds out about this. 

-Billy is somehow perceiving Vision’s struggle at the moment hearing his fathers voice in his head. He stops Tommy with telekinetic powers and goes to Wanda to save him. 

-Vision is still desperately struggling and begs SWORD to help the people of Westview. Hero to the end that one. 

-Pietro makes a tasteless joke about Vision can’t die twice and gets blasted for the remark. Should not move mouth faster than brain can think. 

-Billy is able to to focus his powers to figure out what’s happening. They seem a bit different than Wanda’s. He’s either mentally linked to Vision in the moment or he’s clairvoyantly witnessing what happens. Billy worries that his father is dying. 

-Wanda stops the town cold in its tracks and focuses her powers. Monica and Jimmy notice that the field is moving so it seems that Wanda is expanding it. The SWORD agents try to flee and the one who cuffed Darcy leaves her behind, only to get abandoned by his fellow agents. Delicious karma. The restores Vision once it passes over him but it doesn’t stop there. The Hex keeps growing and expanding, ensnaring almost all of the SWORD personnel. Only Haywad and a few agents remain and I know this is a bad thing but in the immediate moment for him I can only think “Yeah Wanda zap him, zap him good.” We see the Hex growing without end and the episode ends with a cut to Wanda as the red glow fades from her eyes. 

Final thoughts 

-Can’t tell if this is the era for the 90s or the 00s. I’m personally ascribing to 90s because of the commercial fitting the aesthetic of that era better. 

-Evan Peters as Pietro is a delight. He honestly comes across as his character from the Fox movies dropped into the MCU and it is done very organically. I sincerely hope that he actually is the Fox version of Quicksilver brought to this universe because that would be amazing. 

-Haywad has officially used up my good will towards him. I was willing to give the benefit of the doubt until he brought Monica’s mother into things. That was just low and solely to hurt her. At this point it’s a toss up over Wanda zapping him, Vision rearranging his insides from the outside, Monica frying his rear end with her incoming powers or Woo getting him trouble through good old fashion legal fu. 

-I think we can safely say that the Vision sight we saw in episode 4 was just a hallucination as we see the same effects when Wanda looks at Pietro and Vision doesn’t wind up looking anything like his destroyed self from Infinity War once he crosses the boundary. 

-Liked what they did with Tommy and Billy. I was not expecting them to do much with the two but they already have their powers. I’ve been hearing rumors about the Young Avengers making their way to the MCU but its one of the teams I don’t really follow. If it happens great, if not I don’t really care. 

-Woo proves to be an MVP, schooling people with his words and decking them the heck out when he has to. You know mister Woo the United Nations is trying to put togethers a group known as the Agents of Atlas, could we interest you in a position. 

-It is fully confirmed that Wanda does know what is going and is willingly continuing it. There is a semi-confirmation that she is trying to do right by the people of the town like trying to protect the children but the fact is she knows she’s keeping them trapped so there had better be a dang good reason for wanting to keep this going or so help me Wanda we will get someone in there that takes you down. 

[profoundnet]

PROFOUND MEMBER MASTERPOST FOR NOVEMBER 2020!

Featuring Destiel/Gen works by jscribbles, Jeanne_de_Valois, tiamatv, LeafZelindor, prosopopeya, DragonSgotenks, sketching-fox, kittimau, castielslostwings, FriendofCarlotta, universalsatan, Idjit_01, Destielshipper4Cas, purple_charlie, Maleyah, noeizumispn, kitmistry, TheSongSmith, one_more_offbeat_anthem, interstitial, JusithAndronicus, ArielAquarial, queer-things-do-happen-dean, goldenraeofsun, andimeantittosting, and starprincecas.

Join us on Discord!

Masterpost below the cut.

jscribbles - jscribbles

I’ll Go With You (G, 4.7k)

A coda to 15x18 "Despair".

He hadn't said anything. He hadn't said anything when he'd been given the chance.

Tags: 15.20, reunion, grief, love confession

We Are Real (M, 2.4k)

Smutty sequel to I'll Go With You.

Dean hadn't kissed him yet.

But they were alone now, and free.

Tags: 15.18, smut

404 Error (G, 500 words)

How hablo espaniol?!!

I DON'T KNOW. Neither does Dean.

Tags: spoilers for 15.18, based on spanish dub, crack fic

The Weight of Silence (E, 26k)

The weight of silence is heavy on Dean's shoulders as he learns to live a new kind of life in Heaven. In classic Winchester-style, despite being in a place that isn't supposed to have pain and suffering, Dean rebels against it by being straight-up fucking miserable.

Tags: depression, mentions of john winchesters garbage parenting, canon compliant, 15.20 fix it coda, happy ending, smut, romance, love confessions

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Jeanne_de_Valois - Jeanne_de_Valois

Free Bird (G, 1.7k)

Heaven is an open road and not having to pay for gas.

Heaven is a greasy sandwich and a novelty-sized candy bar.

Heaven is awkward, shuffling, confusing.

Heaven is getting to say what you wished you said, a lifetime ago.

(A Coda to Supernatural 15.20- Carry On)

Tags: Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Requited Love

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tiamatv - tiamatv

Stone and Flesh (E, 6k)

Dean didn’t think, even in his filthiest imaginings, that Cas would sound like this in bed—loud, eager, easy with it. He doesn’t give a fuck who hears him enjoying himself. Though maybe Dean should have known. It’s not like Cas has ever once held back on anything he ever wanted to say or do—

Didn’t he?

(Not quite an episode coda for S15e18 per se, but more a "what comes after.")

Tags: AU - canon divergence; Post-Episode S15e18: Despair; Canonical Character Death; Selectively Mute Dean Winchester; Hopeful Ending

Domestic (T, 5.6k)

A little less than a year after the world doesn’t end, he and Cas get married.

Tags: AU - Canon Divergence; Future Fic; Tooth-Rotting Fluff; Domesticity in the Men of Letters Bunker; Kid Fic

Bight (E, 2.5k)

“Do you want more?” Cas asked, against Dean’s thigh. His thumb strummed gently at the soft, folded-up pocket behind Dean’s bound knee.

It tickled, but… didn’t.

Dean didn’t know what the answer to that was.

Tags: AU - Canon Divergence; Rope Bondage; Gentle Dom Castiel; Sub Dean Winchester; Praise Kink

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LeafZealindor - @leafzelindor

Artwork for “break to let the light in” DCBB2020 (SFW)

Artwork draw for the DCBB2020 fic "break to let the light in"

Tags: fluff, touching, intimacy. Accompanied by fic by PeppermiintsPlease.

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prosopopeya - prosopopeya

Like Real People Do (G, 4.9k)

Castiel experienced a moment of pure happiness, expecting it to be his last. 

It wasn't.

Tags: Post-15x18, canon divergence, first kiss, angst with a happy ending, first kiss

Under the Same Sun (E, 14k)

In which time is infinite, and so is the list of people willing to help Dean figure out what to do about Cas. 

A fix-it for a lot of things: Dean's repressed bisexuality, Dean's utterly inexplicable failure to realize what Cas meant, the Charlie & Dean brother/sister content I crave, among others.

Tags: Internalized biphobia, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester, angst with a happy ending, post-series, Heaven fic

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DragonSgotenks - DragonSgotenks

Say Cheese (E, 50k)

Dean Winchester is thirty, flirty, and thriving, or at least that's how his best friend Charlie describes him. Either way Dean feels pretty good about his life. He has a decent job, a nice house, and a great group of friends and family. Sure his brother's been living hundreds of miles away to attend law school and an internship, and yeah maybe he wasn't working his dream job, and so, okay, he spent most nights zoning out in front of the tv alone but that was fine. Dean was fine. Until he gets a call about a daughter he didn't know existed and suddenly Dean's quiet (boring) life is turned upside down.

Castiel Novak is a photographer whose passion lies in capturing the beauty of nature. However to pay the bills he works part time at the mall doing portrait photography. Sure it might not be as artistic as he'd like and his odd hours make for a dull social life but he's still doing what he loves. He especially enjoys doing the kids photos and over the last couple of years he's built a bit of a reputation for always getting the shot no matter how unruly or stubborn a child might be. So when a handsome father brings in his grumpy little girl for pictures Castiel thinks it will be just another photo shoot.

He's wrong.

Tags: Destiel, Single parent Dean, kidfic, bottom Dean/top Castiel, mentions of childhood trauma, eventual smut, past Lydia/Dean

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sketching-fox - @sketching-fox

Dean Winchester Monster Fucker (NSFW)

Arts done for Dean Cas Big Bang in my partnership with LoversAntiquities.

Tags: alleyway, impala, mature content. Accompanied by fic by LoversAntiquities.

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kittimau - @kmauspn - kittimau

Beg Pretty For Me (E, 5k)

“Cas…” His eyes flutter closed, mind slipping into the warm, pleasant haze of that special place, the one that allows him release, relief. Peace. Heart pounding in his chest, he fights the temptation to touch himself through the delicate material because Cas hasn’t told him to yet and he wants to be good.

“I want to hear you say it, Dean.”

“Fuck…” He swallows thickly. “Yeah. I- I feel beautiful.”

Tags: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Phone Sex, Light Dom/Sub, Dean Winchester Wears Panties, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Masturbation, Dom Castiel/Sub Dean Winchester

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castielslostwings - @castielslostwings - Castielslostwings

Loud (G, 4.3k)

Minutes, hours, days, years might have already passed—time is different here, and Castiel has no way of tracking it, and still the Shadow doesn’t come. 

Castiel sits, he stands, he walks and walks and walks and walks. All he ever discovers is more darkness, more nothing.

Tags: 15.19 coda, alternate 15.20, canon fix-it, carry on fix-it, canon-compliant, love confessions, the empty, coda fic, the profound bond

Carry On (E, 8k)

“I think I’ll go for a drive.”

This is what happened between that moment, and Dean meeting Sam on that bridge.

(A 15x20 missing scene/fix-it fic).

Tags: 15x20 fix-it, Carry On coda, love confessions, castiel and dean are in love, first kiss, first time, reunions, Heaven improved, dean gets the funeral he deserves, missing scene

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FriendofCarlotta - @friendofcarlotta - FriendofCarlotta

The Novel (E, 4.5k)

Dean, Cas, Sam and Eileen are happily retired and living their best lives. There's just one problem: Sam has decided to commemorate the Winchester brothers' adventures by writing a novel, and it's not very good at all.

AKA the episode coda where 15x20 was nothing more than Dean reading a draft of his brother's first novel and becoming increasingly appalled.

Tags: Coda, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Technically Canon-Compliant, First Kiss, Top Cas/Bottom Dean

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universalsatan - @universalsatan - UniversalSatan

Mortal One, With The Sun in His Hands (E, 135k)

Cowhand Dean Winchester is notorious for risky gambles, rightfully proud of his horse Impala (who has the prettiest speckle in the West), and is stubbornly certain that his life is in apple-pie order. His comfortable existence crumbles apart when he's saved from a fire-and-brimstone death by a mysterious wanderer he discovers to be the infamous White Bandit, mythical Angel of the Desert. While his savior is as fearsome as the legends say, Dean can't help but draw closer to the quiet and endearing man the real Bandit turns out to be... even if he doesn't yet realize they're the same person. This time, Dean may have to reach out to the flame instead of recoil.

Tags: Western, Historical Fantasy, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Cowboys, Plot-Heavy, Hurt/Comfort, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings Graphic Depictions of Violence, Explicit Sexual Content (Censored Version Available). Accompanied by art by Artmetica.

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Idjit_01 - Idjit_01

I’m not gonna say that I’d change it cause you and I know that we can’t (T, 1.3k)

After Lisa's goodbye speech to Dean in 6x14, Dean gets drunk and calls Cas.

Tags: Episode: s06e14 Mannequin 3: The Reckoning, Alcohol abuse/Alcoholism, Canon Divergence, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt No comfort, yes both

game over (try again, please) (G, 887 words)

After Case and everyone else's departure in 15x18 Sam and Dean sit and talk. (And yes they discuss Cas's confession)

Tags: Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts, Canonical Character Death, Good Sibling Sam Winchester

There’s blood on your face. (Beer and Nightmares) (G, 1.4k)

Dean wakes up pretty badly shaken from a nightmare. He struggles with it. He goes to the kitchen for a beer, but Cas and Sam are there. In the end, thanks to Cas's shenanigans, he doesn't even remember the nightmare.

Tags: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Teasing, Touch-Starved Dean Winchester, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester Is So Done

Help(less) (T, 1.9k)

Everyone Chuck took away is back and are doing normal life again. As there are no monsters and everyone around him has someone else, Dean's on his own and feels awful. So he drives away and makes several questionable choices. Featuring: Dean, a missing angel, a moose, Baby and a frankly abused forest

Tags: Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Grief/Mourning, Vomiting, Eating Disorders, Suicidal Attempt, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death

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Destielshipper4Cas - @destielshipper4cas - Destielshipper4Cas

The Alpha Next Door (E, 36k)

When Cas is placed in WitSec, he gets a fake secondary gender designation to go along with his new name, ‘Jimmy.’ All he has to do until the boss of the omega trafficking ring he escaped is behind bars is keep a low profile, always apply his alpha scent, and not fall in love with an alpha. Well—two out of three ain’t too bad…

Dean has never had a crush on an alpha before. Along comes his new neighbor, Jimmy, an alpha who is alphasexual. There’s just something about him, and to his utter confusion, he finds himself falling for an alpha for the first time in his life.

Tags: Past Rape/Non-con, Strangers to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Omega Verse

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purple_charlie - purple_charlie

Walk Through Fire for You (T, 2.3k)

Boyfriend.

The word still feels foreign in Dean’s mouth, still brings back echoes of John Winchester’s thinly-veiled (if even that) homophobia. "Man up, don’t be a sissy, I didn’t raise a fairy". It’s a swollen blister in the back of Dean’s mind, throbbing with pain whenever a stranger’s eyes linger too long on Cas’ hand in his, whenever a waitress double-takes at how close they sit in diner booths.

But here, dirty dancing with Cas in a warehouse full of other queer folks, Dean wants to shout from the rooftops- I’m Dean Winchester, I drive the baddest car in town, I lift heavy things for a living, and this is my boyfriend.

Tags: Homophobic parents, homophobic siblings, bisexual Dean, Gay Cas, Pride, marijuana use

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Maleyah - @maleyah-givemetomorrow - Katherine_Kat

Art for In A State of Perpetual Disrepair (SFW)

Art for my fic, In A State of Perpetual Disrepair, a hurt/comfort A/B/O Destiel fic.

Tags: fanart, A/B/O, hurt/comfort, Alpha!Cas, Omega!Dean

Start of Time (G, 754 words)

Except he never expected to be awake for the aftermath.

You see, he can hear Dean's prayers.

Tags: Castiel POV, Despair, Hope, Coda 15x18, post episode 15x18, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts

We’re Not Gonna Take It (T, 1.4k)

Amara gestures at Dean calmly. “Have you been praying lately by any chance?”

Dean flusters and stammers, hands at his hips to give himself an attitude, while his eyes flick from her to Sam and Jack insecurely. “N… No.”

Tags: Coda 15x19, Post episode 15x19, Fix It, Dean's dirty prayers, Dean Prays to Castiel, Angel Wings, Wings, First Kiss

Drive (M, 1.5k)

Dean's prayers take a turn for the sensual, which drives The Empty to the brink.

Tags: Coda 15x18; post episode 15x18,, Dean Prays to Castiel, Dean's dirty prayers, Angel Wings, Wings, First Kiss, Fix-It, Slight Crack

Now That We’re Dead (M, 2.5k)

“You got everything you could ever want or need or dream. So I guess the question is… What’re you gonna do now, Dean?”

Looking around, he doesn’t know how to answer that question. The obvious is suggested when she turns out to have made it to Heaven too. Dust dances in the air around Baby, shining in the sunlight, tempting him to go for a ride. The endless stretched out road and horizon.

He blinks a few times, slow and owlish.

And right there, his shadow falling long and dark, almost touching Dean’s feet, is Cas.

OR: the one where Cas gets the love he deserves

Tags: 15x20 coda, Fix It, First Kiss, human!Cas, Heaven, Heaven happy ending, Canon divergent from the moment Bobby says "Cas helped", Fix-It

I Wanna Live, Not Just Survive (M, 3.9k)

“Dean Winchester,” Cas drawls. “I did not go to The Empty, so you could get yourself impaled.”

Or: the other one, where Cas and Dean get to be what they deserve.

Tags: coda 15x20, Fix-It, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Earth happy ending, Because let's not bury our gays, First Kiss, Cuddles, Hurt/Comfort

~

noeizumispn - @noeizumispn

Colors (SFW)

Art inspired by Misha's words on Cas' wings

Tags: Rainbow, colors, destiel, wings

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kitmistry - @kitmistry - Kitmistry

Don’t You Cry No More (T, 4.8k)

There has to be something, he told himself the first night he pulled an all nighter, only to wake up with his cheek smashed against a book, dark circles under his eyes, a throbbing headache, and nowhere closer to the answer than when he started. The light was still on above his head. He didn’t bother turning it off.

Or the one where Dean doesn't die, but he searches for Cas instead. 

Tags: Fix-It, Coda, Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending

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TheSongSmith - TheSongSmith

Four Seasons (G, 754 words)

Cas is the owner of Four Seasons Total Landscaping, and he received a very curious call on a quiet Saturday morning. Dean owns the adult shop next door, and is very confused by what's going on. Good times are had by all, except Donald Trump because fuck that morally-bankrupt tangerine.

Tags: Four Seasons Total Landscaping, Destiel is Canon, 2020 is a dumpster fire so have this fic, twitter made me do it

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one_more_offbeat_anthem - one_more_offbeat_anthem

So Comes Snow After Fire (G, 11k)

Cas was old, like old-old, like ancient, like here for the beginning of the goddamn cosmos old, like remembers rain being invented old, and he could be anywhere, but instead he was in Dean’s kitchen (well, the bunker’s, but no one else cooked--Jack and Cas were kind of clueless when it came to that stuff, and all Sam made was health food), reading The Hobbit aloud to Dean while Dean himself made them all spaghetti.

(or, they got their win--the biggest win of all--and now autumn is settling in. a nearly-human Cas plants a garden, and Dean helps him along.)

Tags: Post-Canon/Canon-Divergent, Domesticity, Getting together, Fluff and comfort, Gardening Castiel

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interstitial - interstitial

Thirst Was Made For Water (T, 5.9k)

Cas is hit by a truth spell. The results are unexpected.

And maybe just a tiny bit funny. Unless you're Dean. 

Tags: Dubiously Consensual Courting Behavior, Mildly NSFW Art Included, Profanity, Crack & Fluff, Truth Spells, Animal Transformations, Canon Divergent After s7e17 The Born-Again Identity, Light-Hearted and (Relatively) Wholesome For These Trying Times

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JudithAndronicus - @judithandronicus - judithandronicus

Up We Go (E, 4.9k)

A coda fic series for 15.18.

Tags: Grieving, Canonical MCD (temporary), Alcoholic Dean, Angst with a Happy Ending

The Kindness of Ravens (E, 7.5k)

Crackfic wherein ravens pooping on Dean lead to feelings realization and eventual smut.

Tags: Fluff, Crack, Feelings Realization, Diners

The Ampersand Chronicles (G, 1.3k)

This is unrepentant canon-adjacent Bunker fluff, set in a universe where everything is kind of the same, except fluffier. Cas lives in the Bunker with Sam and Dean; things like Gadreel and Lucifer aren't a problem; and oh yeah, there's a cat.

Tags: Fluff, Bunker Fic, Kittens

~

ArielAquarial - ArielAquarial

Boyfriend Blues (G, 1k)

“I have a boyfriend!”

It came out of nowhere. One second Dean was shoveling a truly amazing pork roast into his mouth, already planning the meat to mashed potato ratio of his next bite, when Claire opened her mouth and his fork was clattering to the plate. Cas stopped mid-bite to stare at her while Jack, completely oblivious, continued making a Jackson Pollock out of his potatoes and gravy.

Tags: Parenthood, Domestic Fluff, Married Life, Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Kid Claire Novak, Kid Jack Kline

Extra Credit (E, 4.2k)

“Hey, babe. Who has the kids?”

“Mr. Winchester…” Cas rumbled, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest. “You’re cutting it close. My office hours are almost over.”

Dean frowned at him, confused. That didn’t even remotely answer his question. What did he—

Oh…

Oh!

Or, the moment Dean has been waiting for has finally arrived.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Husbands, Professor Castiel (Supernatural), Mechanic Dean Winchester, Sexual Roleplay, Teacher/Student Roleplay, Anniversary

Never in a Million Years (G, 2.5k)

If someone had told Cas six years ago that he was going to be a happily married man with two kids, he would have laughed. Now, with Dean by his side, he couldn't imagine things being different, even if the path to get there had been a little rocky.

Tags: Domestic Fluff, Holiday Traditions, Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Backstory, Bickering, Married Life

~

queer-things-do-happen-dean - @queer-things-do-happen-dean - Latter_alice

Tangerine, tangerine (E, 1k)

“So it’s – It’s really nothin’, huh?” Dean swallows and tries to blink away the wetness in his eyes. His gaze don’t weaver from the road. “No, uh, key words ring a bell? Chuck? Angel tablet?” He pauses, flicks his eyes over to Castiel and back. “... Leviathans?"

When Dean pulls Cas out of the Empty, not everything comes back.

Tags: Canon divergent, post series, memory loss

~

goldenraeofsun - @goldenraeofsun - goldenraeofsun

Symmetria (T, 4k)

When all’s said and done with Chuck, Dean takes his time getting used to his new gig as capital D Death. Billie, of course, did not see fit to leave him a training manual. But with his brother-turned-God on his side, and Jack as the new Darkness, they all muddle through.

Finally, all that's left is to rescue Cas from the Empty.

Tags: 15x18 fix-it, alternate post-series AU, Death!Dean, God!Sam, Darkness!Jack, love confessions, first kiss, minor Sam/Eileen

~

andimeantittosting - @andimeantittosting - andimeantittosting

We Are (M, 699)

15x18 coda. When they get Cas back, because they do, because somehow, someway, sometimes good things do happen, Dean... 

Tags: Reunion, Resurrected Castiel, Requited Love, Happy Ending

Carrying On (G, 794 words)

15x20 coda. Dean dies and goes to heaven. But then he wakes up.

Tags: Fix-it Fic, Djinn, Happy Ending on Earth

Two Inches to the Left (T, 2.5k)

15x20 coda. Something tells Dean to stop by that bridge, so he does. The last thing he's expecting is for a pair of Vespas to pull up and Becky Rosen to tell him that he's still in Chuck's story. Finally, it's time to write his own.

Tags: Fix-it Fic, Temporary Character Death, Happy Ending on Earth, Fangirls Save the Day

~

starprincecas - @starprincecas - cuddlesandcas

so it goes (T, 1.4k)

The Empty comes to collect.

Tags: Major Character Death, Episode Tag: s15e18 Despair, Angst

no more waiting on tomorrow (T, 739 words)

For all that they’ve finally won once and for all, the victory feels hollow.

Tags: Episode Tag: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Fix-It Fic

[pi-cat000]

MSA: Take Two (part 12)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

Part 13: here?

..

Lewis clears his throat and Arthur glances away, searching the room for inspiration. Nothing comes to mind and they both shuffle about in awkward silence.

“Well,” Vivi starts, drawing out the word to break the stiff atmosphere, “This is nice. We’re all getting along and no one is mad at anyone.”

Lewis coughs, appearing somewhat guilty, “Yeah…ah… sorry about freaking you out back in the van. It must have been strange…to see me.” They’d definitely figured out that his alternate-version-Lewis had died in that cave. That was fine. As long as they never found out how Arthur had died then it was all fine. The only one to ever know would be Mystery and, going off experience, he knows Mystery can keep a secret.

“Not your fault,” Arthur is quick to reassure, “It was just… a shock.”

A spark of electricity emphasises the statement and Lewis blinks, surprised at the joke. It does help to lighten the mood somewhat.

Vivi lets out a snort, “Nice.”

“What can I say, there’s a whole field of electricity-related jokes.”

“Stop that,” She teases. Lewis's mouth twitches into a smile. Vivi seems to take that as a queue to elbow Lewis forward a few more steps so they are no longer standing in the doorway. As they inch their way into the room Arthur realises he has inadvertently drifted back into the far corner again.

“…I’m surprised my counterpart didn’t beat me to it,” he comments both to distract himself from his nerves and because he’s curious.  Vivi has already mentioned the other Arthur and, seeing as Lewis is very alive and acting normal, he wants to know how the younger Arthur is handling everything. Surely, if his younger self is alive and well, then he would have tested out a range of jokes by now, being stuck in the hospital and bored out of his brain.

The troubled expression on Lewis’s face and Vivi’s sigh has him thinking it might not be all sunshine and roses. What if the other him was sick and dying of an infection… or something worse! What if the reason this Lewis cared so much was because the other Arthur wasn’t long for this world and he needed a convenient Arthur replacement!

“He’s okay right?” He asks anxiously, trying not let the sudden paranoia overwhelm him. The other Arthur can’t die! If he did, then everything was for nothing.

“Oh, he’s doing fine, physically at least. He’s being discharged from hospital in a few days.”

He slumps with relief. “That’s good to hear.”

In his timeline he had spent almost a month in the hospital, fluctuating between catatonic and various states of panic. Then there had been another month of visiting every few days for therapy. He could see how, with the support of both Vivi and Lewis, this Arthur would be better equipped to bounce back from the horror that had been the cave. And yet…

“He’s been quieter…” Lewis mutters, scanning him, making Arthur twitch, “You know what’s bothering him?”

Damn. He had forgotten how perceptive Lewis was. He scans the other man, searching for the rage he knows isn’t there. All he sees is concern. Arthur frowns, turning his thoughts inward, trying to ignore Lewis’s presence. If his hazy memories from before the cave were accurate then this current Arthur was going through his weird ‘Vivi and Lewis don’t actually like me’ phase. All overdramatic nonsense in hindsight because it was pretty obvious, going off the affection in Lewis and Vivi’s voices, that they cared for their Arthur immensely. But, his younger, idiot self wouldn’t be picking up on that. He would probably notice if Lewis and Vivi starting keeping secrets.

“You told him what happened right?”

“…” The uncomfortable expressions worn by both Lewis and Vivi sits like a led stone in his non-existent stomach,

“…About what happened with the possession, mind control stuff? You told him about it right?” He continues, agitated.

“Ah. No. Not yet. He didn’t remember any of it when he woke up.”

“We thought it was better to let him recover a bit more,” Vivi finishes, before continuing cautiously, “Does he remember?”

“No. I mean, I didn’t…not at first. But trust me when I say that whatever conclusion he comes to won’t be good. He’s probably thinking it’s his fault or something. Don’t wait. Tell him. Tell him as soon as possible. It will help. ”

“We will,” Vivi placates, worried, “We wouldn’t lie about something like this.”

“Good,” Arthur nods, happy he can save them- and his younger counterpart- this small amount of heartbreak.

Lewis, who has lapsed into contemplative silence gives an upset exhale. “It’s not your fault.”

Arthur freezes.

“Lewis…” Vivi tries to intersect but Lewis continues.

“You said Arthur would blame himself…Well, it’s not your fault either. Whatever happened before, in that other time, I’m sure I didn’t blame you.”

Crack. The electricity around him buzzes, sizzling, agitated. It feels like his whole head is filling with cotton, muffling his thoughts. Slowly, he processes the words, staring at Lewis. At his concerned expression. At his sympathy.

The regret, which had been sitting at the back of his mind in a haze of static, ramps up, drowning out Lewis’s confused follow-up question

“Arthur?” Vivi also questions, noticing him freeze.

“Stay back,” he snaps, more for his benefit than worry for her safety. That intense emotional pressure is back and growing steadily stronger. Lightning flashes and his whole form flickers. The desk lamp sparks then explodes like the ceiling light. The air crackles angrily.

There is a flash of red and the sound of books and furniture being knocked over as Mystery’s kitsune form fills up the room, forcing Vivi and Lewis away. Next comes the unpleasant sensation of having his heart-thing yanked and sudden loss of his solid human-like form.

“Mystery! What are you doing?”

/Apologies. I will return shortly./

“Where are you go….”

Arthur becomes vaguely aware of space moving around him. Vivi’s frustrated voice is lost in the quick movement as Arthur is whisked away through the window. Houses, pavement and streets flash by. A second later, they stop. Mystery plonks him down and Arthur reforms so he is floating outside amidst low growing shrub and patches of cactus. The horizon is empty and flat plain in all directions.

It happens almost too fast to process and Arthur spends a second staring at it in confusion before the pressure becomes too much and he explodes. The sudden release of compressed energy ripples around him in a shockwave. Now he is no longer in Vivi’s room he doesn’t have to worry about breaking things. Crack. Long lines of jagged yellow lightning tear the earth up in long groves.

Why?

Whywhywhywhywhy.

Why did it end up like this!

Under him, the ground glows, superheated where the lightning strikes it. Several potions of dirt and sand solidify into a glass-like substance.

Why couldn’t this be his! WHY! Why is he still here!?

Bright white and yellow electricity arcs up into the sky like a lightning bolt in reverse, exploding into a shower of sparks. Arthur doesn’t even bother trying to real the power in, letting it run wild until he’s floating in the middle of a blackened circle. Serrated, upturned earth and shards of that glass-like substance surround him, leaving Arthur feeling hollowed out and increasingly tired.  Eventually, he runs out of juice and the electricity splutters out. A familiar heavy sensation descends upon him and he finds himself lying on his back staring up at a pale, slowly darkening sky. 

“I’m a hazard,” he mumbles. All that work Vivi did in proving that he was safe to be around and he went and did that. Honestly, he shouldn't be surprised that he messed up. 

/If it is any consolation, I believe it went quite well. Better than expected./ And Arthur thought his expectations were low.

“Lewis and Vivi probably hate me now.”

/I very much doubt that./ Mystery’s elongated fox snout appears above him to block out the sky, head cocked to the side. Arthur twitches in unease, leaning away.  

Mystery shakes his head, taking is Arthurs discomfort with a concerned frown and backing up. /How do you feel?/

“Terrible. All I had to do was keep it together for one measly conversation.” He wants to go to sleep and never wake up. The air shimmers as Mystery transforms back into his dog form.

/The fact that you seem instinctually disinclined to injure Vivi and Lewis is significant. I have never personally witnessed a ghost with that level of control./

“Nice to know I’m clearing the lowest of bars,” he mutters, struggling against the unnatural weight to sit up.  Mystery watches, maintaining a respectful distance. Arthur examines his soundings to avoid eye contact, moodily poking a piece of solidified ground. Maybe it’s the sudden exhaustion, but all that pain and grief seems barely noticeable. Now he’s not around Lewis all that turbulent emotion has settled back into a familiar buzz of regret.

“So…what now?” What were they going to do now? Go back to Vivi’s house? Apologise for almost destroying her room? She was probably worried. He glances up at Mystery, uncertain. 

A long exhale follows, /It has come to my attention that I may have been overly presumptuous in our first meeting and caused some unneeded stress. I have since been informed on the importance of ‘bedside manners’ and ‘taking things slow’ in aiding a human’s mental recovery./

Was it him or did Mystery look a whole lot more unsure than was normal?

“Yeah, well, better safe than sorry,” he responds, unsure where the sudden admission has sprung from. It kind of sounds like an apology, maybe? Not that he thinks Mystery has much to be sorry about. Sure, Arthur’s not thrilled with some of Mystery’s poking and prodding but it is to protect Vivi and that’s a pretty good justification.

/True...However, I believe I could have been less…/ The dog pauses as if searching for a word, /pushy…/

Arthur would be frowning, you know, if he had a face. “Don’t worry about it?”

Mystery gives a curt nod like they’ve just settled some sort of disagreement. Arthur goes back to examining the destruction around him.

“I don’t want to explode again. Is this going to happen every time to feel any sort of strong emotion?” Gosh, that would suck.  Unsteadily, Arthur struggles back into a standing position.

/All part of the learning curb I am afraid. There is a lot of hard work ahead before you attain any sort of stability./

Arthur sighs, “Yeah I figured. But I‘ll get better right?” 

Mystery hums, scanning him up and down, /I believe so. Of course, it is always hard to be certain, but your chances are.../ A pause /optimistic./

Arthur lets himself feel a small amount of relief.

/For now we shall return. Both Lewis and Vivi will most likely be worried and have a few choice words to say about me running off in such a hurry./

“Do you think I can go back into the heart thing…I’m beat and that grabbing thing you did was…really uncomfortable.” He reaches up to cover his heart again, eyeing Mystery for any sudden movements.  A few hours or ‘recharging’ sounds pretty good. This isn’t running away! He’ll apologise to Vivi and Lewis later when he has more energy. Now he knows that Vivi - and maybe Lewis- does care about his wellbeing, dissipating back into the void doesn’t feel like he’s completely giving up. The change is subtle but no less important.

Mystery apparently thinks so too, because he easily offers the information without any further warnings, /Simply envision yourself sleeping or resting. The process should be instinctual./

“Right…” That sounded simple enough. Arthur thinks of his van back home in his own timeline. He thinks of curing up in the back with Vivi, sleeping bags next to each other, isolated on a stretch of unnamed highway in the middle of nowhere. A safe place, away from everything. He must be more tired than he thought because the world around him disintegrates into comforting darkness.

.

NOTE: I’m not dead, just super busy. 

[honeyjaez]

Maze of Miroh- Chapter 13 “Unexpected Welcome”

Ahh here it is! Sorry for the long wait. 

Because it’s been a hot second since the last update, here is how we ended last chapter:

“Minho!”

Jisung’s words were drowned out as he groaned in pain.  His eyes shot opened and he looked up to see a strange blonde overlooking his slumped body, a fox like grin etched on his face. The stranger opened his palm to reveal a small golden object dangling from his hands and Minho’s heart sank.

His locket.

“Finders Keepers” the boy sneered, his fox smile getting bigger and bigger.

“Hey!” Minho yelled, quickly standing up. “Give that back!”

The fox boy looked down at the locket, then turned back to Minho, eyes holding a mischievous glint to them. “Ooooo tempting…but I think I’ll pass. Think of this as payment for not killing you guys on the spot.” Despite his severe words, the fox like grin seemed to be permanent on his face and he gave Minho a cheeky wave before dashing off in a blinding speed.

Minho let out a small growl and shot up, chasing after him despite his members yelling at him to come back. He locked eyes with the strange blonde who noticed Minho following him and begun running faster, almost catching up to him.  The thief noticed this and gave Minho a playful look

“Alright” he could hear him say “You wanna play? Then let’s play pretty boy.” His voice was light but Minho could hear the homicidal tone to it “Let me welcome you to The Under.”

 Minho could still hear Jisung and the others yelling after him as he chased the mysterious thief down, but made no attempt to stop. His only focus was on the figure in front of him and him alone. His eyes were locked on their back as they continued to lead down a darkened path.

In hindsight, Minho knew that it was a wrong move in chasing after the thief. He was still a newbie when it came to fighting and he already could tell the thief in front of him was more than adapt at fighting than he was. He knew the stupid locket Hyunjae gave him was not worth endangering himself, but he didn’t care. Part of him wanted the locket back ...badly.

Not to mention he was rather pissed off that this fox boy thought he was just some quick score. 

After running down another turn, Minho saw the blond tilt his head to the side slightly, locking eyes with him before a fox like grin appeared once again. Minho glared back and huffed in annoyance at his offhand, taunt. 

“This guy hasn’t even broken a sweat yet”

And it was true. Minho thought he, himself had amazing stamina. He may not have a lot of strength, but in just the few short weeks he was a part of SKZ, he could already outrun everyone in the group but Felix.

However, dealing with this thieving blond, Minho realized that he was actually getting tired. Meanwhile the thief didn’t seem to mind at all, and as if he could read Minho’s thoughts, the boy smirked backwards, pointing a finger at him. “Getting tired old man?”

Minho took a deep breath, trying to steady his breathing and not sound so out of breath. “You…wish” he panted. Dammit.

“I’ll give you some credit though.” The annoying blond said again, ignoring his obvious attempt at hiding his fatigue “Not many can keep up with me.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment” Minho snapped back.

But Minho began to grow worried. How much longer did he have in him? They must have been running for at least 10 minutes now and the young thief ahead of him showed no signs of stopping.  Sweat began dripping from his forehead as the rounded another corner and his heart sank realizing he had another problem on his hand.

With every step, and every corner ran, he got further and further from the others.  And after the 20th turn made, he suddenly didn’t know which way he came from which spelt bad news for Minho. Especially when they are about to step foot in a supposed underground thug city.

He needed to regroup with the others… and fast.

Minho grit his teeth as his attention went back to the blond running ahead of him. If he couldn’t catch up to him, he was going to need to stop him in his tracks.

The runner quickly reached inside his pocket for anything that might help his situation. Anything that might help ensnare the thief in a trap. Just then his hand bumped up against a small, cold object in his pocket and his eyes blew wide open, remembering.  He pulled out the object and looked down at it. It was a miniature bomb that Hyunjin had given him just before they left for the Under

*flashback*

Grabbing the last of his stuff, Minho closed the door behind him and turned to head back towards the meeting room. But before he could take a step farther, he felt an arm grab him, thrusting his body backwards. His eyes were met with Hyunjin’s small ones, and before Minho could ask anything he felt Hyunjin slip a few cold objects into his hand, closing it and shoving it back into his pocket.

“They are small, but it packs a punch.” He mysteriously explained “But be careful….they react instantly when thrown against something so make sure you aren’t too close to the blast zone”

~~~~

 Minho stared down at the small object, a small plan forming in his head. His worried expression now changing into that of a smirk and he knew what he needed to do.

He just needed the perfect spot.

“You spacing out old man?” the boy called out again.

Minho looked up and locked eyes with the thief, his gaze unreadable “Nope. Just thinking!” he called back.

The two rounded another corner and that’s when Minho saw it. He had lead the two of them into a rather large clearing, with the only two exits begin that in which they came from and where they were heading. Not to mention lots, and lots and lots of rocks.

This was his chance. A small opening, almost like a door with rocks overhead laid on the other side of the room. It was a perfect spot. And San’s only exit.

 Minho clutched the miniature bomb in his hand, readying his arm for the wind-up. If he was going to do this, then he needed to hit his mark first try.

Just a little closer.

Once he got in range, he knew the time was now. Minho quickly threw the mini bomb as hard as he could, just over the opening, and like Hyunjin promised the bomb activated instantly, exploding the rocky wall and ceiling above. Rocks and boulders began to crumble down in large chunks, covering the opening. And before the blonde could slip through, a large chunk of ceiling fell over the opening, blocking his exit completely.

The thief seemed somewhat shocked at the turn of events, and Minho took this chance to stop and catch his breath as the room around them shook.

The boy slowly stood up from the ground, his eyes locking and staying with Minho’s the entire time.  He looked at him with annoyed expression on his face, but then a second later gave him a toothy grin as he placed his hand on the back on his neck.

 “You are just FULL of surprises aren’t you?” he tried teasing him with his lighthearted tone, but Minho wasn’t having any of it.

The blond didn’t seem to be making a break for the exit behind them so Minho took this chance to check him out further. He certainly had a baby face, but from closer inspection Minho realized he wasn’t much younger than himself. He had longer hair than him, strands covering his eyes somewhat, and hair bleached blond with his darker roots started to show. His face was narrow and sharp and Minho stood, rather amazed. He really does look like Fox.

The young thief let out a chuckle realizing Minho was checking him out and winked at him playfully “Like what you see pretty boy? I’m not one for old men, but for you I’ll make an exception.”

Is he…Is he flirting with me?

Minho rolled his eyes and scoffed “We are practically the same age so why are you calling me old man?!”

The blonde let out a light laugh, suddenly taking up stance, and preparing to fight. “You move just like one.”

“Do not!” he argued childishly.

The blond suddenly vanished from Minho’s sight before he could get another word out and it took his brain a few more seconds to realize. All of a sudden, he felt the boys presence behind him, like he suddenly appeared out of thin air and a quick, harsh punch to his back caused the older boy’s body to crumble to the ground. Minho winced in pain as he recovered, and rubbed the lower half of his back. He heard footsteps beside him and looked up to see the younger boy smiling at him with his fox like grin.

“Well, in your defense.” he said suddenly “Compared to me, everyone moves like an old man”

Minho bit his tongue and quickly shot himself back up, aiming a leg towards the boys head. The boy seemed unfazed and again vanished from Minho’s sight in a blur of smoke. His leg swung back around and landed on the ground without hitting anything. His brain began working in overdrive, trying to figure out just what the hell was happening, but before he could, another heavy impact hit him now in the side. Minho’s body staggered backwards a few steps and locked eyes with the rather playful blond who looked like fox, playing with its food.

What exactly is going on here? He thought “Why does it seem like he just isn’t there any-“

“Confused?”

Minho snapped his head back to reality and looked at the thief who was now leaning on a rather large bolder that fell in the explosion. Minho looked at him with annoyance and puzzlement on his face.

When he didn’t answer, the blond tilted his head to one side, an almost shocked look on his face. “You really don’t know do you?” amazement in his voice

“Know what?” Minho snapped

But the blond seemed too preoccupied with his own grief to care about Minho’s annoyance. He dramatically threw himself on the rock in exasperation. ��Just my luck! Out of all the powerhouses in your group I pick the newbie to play with.”

The boy began slapping himself playfully on the forehead “Stupid Stupid Stupid”

 This rubbed Minho the wrong way and he felt anger rising in his throat. “You don’t know me” he spat “so don’t act like I’ve already lost this fight.”

“Ahh!” the blonde’s innocent face was almost comical as he looked back towards Minho, sliding off the rock. “But you see, you already have lost this fight!” he shook his head in mocked sadness “You don’t even know that you are fighting a Miracle and yet you still think you can come out on top?” he shrugged his shoulders loud and theatrically “Sad really.”

Minho’s eyes went huge. A Miracle? He is a Miracle?

That would make sense. His incredible endurance. Minho couldn’t come anywhere near him. And he swears the boy is vanishing from his eyesight every single time like he disappears into thin air.

Like he could read his thoughts, the blond looked back at him, but his expression wasn’t playful anymore. He was serious, gazing at Minho with a sense of disgust aimed at him. “Do you understand now? If you intend to fight me, you’ll die.”

Minho felt goosebumps on his skin as the thief’s words finally registered in his brain. This was bad. The Order? Fine. Mindless Agents? Cool. Even fighting Hyunjae was more ideal to him at this moment then fighting a super human powered battery cell with sociopathic tendencies.

His body screamed at him to run the other way, but he quickly swallowed the fear as best as he could, gulping loudly. He began remapping everything Jisung has been teaching him in the practice room as well as what his own instincts were telling him. He fell into his own stance, and tried to match the blonde thief’s immense intensity.

“Unfortunately for you,” Minho hissed “I recently made the stupid resolve to never quit so I won’t be leaving until I get what belongs to me”

And just like a switch, the blonde’s serious expression melted away into that of a sly grin.

“Your funeral.”

And then just like that, the thief vanished from Minho’s vision once again. But Minho expected this. He quickly lifted his arms up to the side of his face, baring himself where he hoped the Miracle was aiming. A swift punch to the gut made him realize however that he guessed wrong and his body bent over as he revolted spit onto the ground.

But it wasn’t over yet. It seemed his attacker was keen on kicking him while he was down as he felt the air around him shift again.  Minho spun around expecting a kick in his back, only to feel a hard stinging pain explode in his face as he was flung to the side, and hitting the rocky wall behind him.

Minho’s body crumpled to the floor, but he quickly recovered himself and stood back up facing his opponent. He could feel blood trickle down his face from where he was kicked but did his best to ignore it.

This was his new life. Blood, sweat, and dirt, and if he was going to fight Hyunjae and The Order, he was going to accept that and become stronger.

Minho tried to quickly scan the area around him, trying to think of a plan, but it seems that his opponent wouldn’t give him the chance as he vanished once more from Minho’s sight and suddenly appeared in front of him, knocking him squarely in his jaw, and sending him flying.

However it would seem he was not done yet, and before Minho’s brain could comprehend the pain from the first blow, the blond appeared overhead of him and kicked him hard in his stomach again. Minho’s body crash landed so hard into the ground the gravel below him crumbled, causing in indent in the floor.

He was getting his ass kicked and quickly needed to change the tides of this battle. His body erupted in a volcano of pain and as he rose, he let out a few ragged coughs, littering the ground below him in specks of blood.

Alright. Now I’m pissed off

His eyes latched onto the younger boys and he glared daggers into him as he shook himself. The younger boy gave a hearty laugh and turned around, his back facing Minho  “4 hits from me and you can still stand!” he whistled “I’m somewhat impresse-“

The boy’s words were cut off as Minho’s fist made contact with the side of his face, sending the lanky figure flying.

It took almost all of Minho’s strength to hit him with that amount of force but to his dismay, the blonde quickly recovered himself, landing on all fours nearby. Minho noticed a large bruise forming on the boy’s right cheek however and gave the boy a small smirk. Guess his hit did something after all.

“You were saying?” Minho’s voice was rough with pain but he still managed to smile as the thief felt the side of his face and took pride as he saw the boy wince in pain.

Minho’s small victory was short lived however, and he saw the blond practically growl at him launching himself forwards and towards him. He raised his arms just in time to block the boy’s right leg from hitting him right in the face, but the experienced fighter took advantage of Minho’s unprotected lower half and swung his other leg against Minho’s own.

Minho, acting on pure instincts, quickly jumped up, causing the boys kick to miss and latched his hand into the blonde’s hair, pulling back roughly in an attempt to distract him long enough. But the plan failed, as the younger boy took this opportunity and pushed Minho’s body with his own, propelling them both forward. His back landed with a dull thud on the ground below.  He gasped, needing a moment to breath, but the soft sound of unsheathing metal hit his ears and he knew he was in for it now.

Minho quickly reach at his side and whipped out his small dagger just in time to clash with the blonde’s curved short sword that seemed to appear out of nowhere and silently cursed at the pure size difference in their weapons.  Since he was still new in the fighting world, Minho was still not permitted his own weapon, like Jisung’s electronic knuckles, or Felix’s twin daggers. Hell he wasn’t even allowed his own gun yet like Hyunjin or Changbin. Something about learning how to fight without a weapon in case you don’t have one or some bull shit like that, but he silently cursed at all of them wishing to have one of those things in this very moment.

The fox boy smiled down at him, almost like he was enjoying the fight. He could feel added pressure as he was trying to overpower the elder, but Minho wasn’t having any of that and they both struggled to overpower the other.  Then an idea hit Minho and he looked up at him, quickly kicking the younger boy off of him.

This caught the younger boy by surprise and his body landed off near the wall. Both boys stood up, panting hard as neither took their eyes off each other.  

It was the other boy who broke first and gave Minho a smirk “Okay scratch that. I am mildly impressed now.”

“Speak for yourself” Minho spat, bracing himself for another round.

But to his confusion­-and annoyance the boy seemed uninterested in fighting at the moment, taking his chance to check Minho out closer, his eyes narrowing in slight excitement. “What’s your name?”

His question caught Minho off guard and he let out a puff of exasperation, clearly annoyed at the supposed bi-polar thief. He wasn’t seriously asking for his name here and now?

When Minho made no attempt to answer him, the younger boy motioned towards himself with a small smile “My name is San.” He said “Local resident of The Under.”

Minho scoffed, unable to keep silent .“Has anyone ever told you that you are crazy?” he asked.

San ignored his comment and motioned him again “Now tell me your name” he urged quickly.

He seemed so serious. So sincere.

Minho glared at him, untrustworthy “None of your business” he snapped finally. .

Still unbothered, San winked at him “So spunky”  he teased “Look I don’t want to kill you.”

“Then don’t!” Minho harshly snapped back, relaxing his body slightly. He raised his hand to point towards his chest where his locket rested. “Return me what’s mine and I’ll walk away!”

Minho was so unbelievably pissed off by now and he knew that San could tell because the younger boy only smirked and dangled the locket between his fingers before giving him a side smirk. “Fine. Have it your way. You want this?” he motioned to the necklace “Then come and get it”

 Minho launched himself forward with quick speed, but San expected this and did a quick side step. But Minho was quick on his feet and mocked the move, following the younger’s movements.

This seemed to surprise San for a split second, but he quickly recovered himself before Minho could take advantage of his confusion. Once again, San seemingly disappeared from his vision and he felt a kick in his back.

Minho felt his body impact with the ground but quickly recovered himself by pushing himself up by his hands. He spun around and kicked San hard in the face with his boot. But to his dismay, San grabbed hold of his boot and spun Minho back around so that his face was flushed against the younger boy’s chest. But before Minho could comprehend what San had planned, he felt a cold object pressed up against his cheek. Minho let out a loud gulp, knowing the feeling of a knife against skin too well now.

“I thought you said you didn’t want to kill me?” Minho challenged.

San let out a chuckle, bringing his lips to Minho’s ears as he caught his breath “I said didn’t, not that I wouldn’t” he growled. “Fun or not, I am a guard of The Under” the blond continued. “And you sir” he added with added pressure to the knife “are a trespasser.”

Minho struggled against the boy, ashamed that his strength was being over powered by someone younger than him. “I… ugh… we are here for help!” he exclaimed.

San’s grip on him held steady but the pressure of the knife soften slightly “Help?” he asked, genuinely intrigued. ”What does Bang Chan and his righteous group of good-doers need from us?”

“The Order” Minho began explaining through huffs “We stole a virus from them but we need someone by the name of Dowoon to help figure out what it does”

“Four-eyes?”

 “Chan said he lives down here with you all.” He continued to explain in desperation “We need to speak to him!”

If I can get him on our side….

San seemed to be processing Minho’s words for a brief moment and Minho used this chance to break himself free of San’s grip, throwing his body backwards in a jerking motion. He spun back around to find San standing still in the same spot, eyes glazing over like he was thinking of something far away.

He began mumbling something incoherently, and Minho strained his ears forward to hear what the younger boy was saying.

“….Maybe this time….”

Minho titled his head, trying to figure out what the boy was talking about, but before he could ask, he saw San’s serious frown quickly change back into an almost painful smile, shaking himself, as if tiding himself of whatever thought he had. He turned his gaze back onto Minho and just like that, the old San returned, a ghost of a sly smile on his face.

“Sorry beautiful” he chirped “Last time we trusted someone from up above, it ended up biting us in the ass.” He explained, pulling out his short sword and lowing himself towards the ground. “We WON’T make that mistake a second time!”

And he vanished.

The next thing Minho knew, he felt an excruciating sense of pain coming from his right cheek.

“Agh!” his hand flew to his face as he cradled his wound and fell to the ground. A sticky substance covered his hand and he knew he was bleeding. The pain was so sharp, so excoriatingly painful that it took Minho a second to realize San was still standing behind him, weapon in hand, staring deviously at him.

Acting on instincts alone, Minho pushed himself off the ground and away from the thief, hand still cradling his wound. He stared back at San who licked Minho’s blood off the sword, his homicidal aura spiking. He vanished again but this time Minho knew what to do, and quickly raised his arms, using his small dagger to bare the short sword before it swing down and sliced him again.

San pushed himself against Minho, the two boys matching their strengths.  

“Out of everyone” he suddenly said “you are one of the fastest I’ve faced.”

Minho grunted against his blade, weapons shaking as they both vied to over-power to other. San pushed his head towards Minho as he began to gain favor.  

“But now I’m going to have to show you REAL speed.”

Suddenly and without warning, San pushed Minho away, crouching low on the ground and launching his body forward. As fast as his body would allow it, Minho quickly side steps to the side, just barley managing to avoid a fatal slice of San’s sword. Minho grunted in pain as the weapon still managed a small slice in his side but stayed light on his feet as San quickly spun around, chasing after him.

Minho began running backwards, trying to avoid San’s barrage of swings. But he knew it was pointless.

With all that he was, Minho was nowhere near as strong or as fast as San was. If he didn’t think of something….and fast, he really was going to die.

And as if fate answered his calls, Minho tripped over an unseen rock behind him and his body stopped abruptly, landing on the ground. Nearly a second too late, he quickly rasied his dagger up, blocking San’s attack once again. The smaller crawled onto of the older boy, hovering over him as his sword threatened to cut his throat wide open.

Shit Shit Shit he thought, struggling against his strength.  This was a different San than from before. Maybe earlier he was just toying with Minho, but everything about this San here and now was much more powerful. Much more dangerous.

I need to think of something….and fast

All of a sudden, like a gift from the gods, Minho spotted something passed the thief’s head and a plan began forming in his own head. He just needed to be smart about this.

In hopes to distract the homicidal thief, he quickly let out a hearty laugh, bluffing arrogance. 

 San seemed to notice this change in him because he felt the knife being pushed against his throat harder now.

“What are you so smiley about eh?” he taunted.

Minho let out a small chuckle, all too aware of the knife at his throat. If he was going to do this, he needed to do it now. “Oh you know” he said “Just how I’m going to get my necklace back.”

Minho watched as San’s face contorted in a variety of emotions from confusion to annoyance and then finally settling on his ever famous fox smile. “Oh? And how do you plan on doing that? Running?”

“Nope.” Minho said, still smirking “I know now that I can’t ever outrun you”

“Then how do you plan on taking your necklace back?” there was a hint of uncertainty in the younger blonde’s eyes, as Minho’s confidence threw him off key. He slowly reached inside his pocket, feeling a familiar object, cold in his hands.

“Like this!” Without missing a beat, Minho ripped the locket hanging around San’s neck, pulling it off roughly. But before San could retaliate, he quickly threw another one of Hyunjin’s small bomb towards the ceiling, farther off and kicked San off of him, jerking him  right into the direct line of rocks that were now falling down.

The blond, for as fast as he was, couldn’t move out of the way fast enough and his body vanished under a large pile of rubble.

The roaring from the bomb devoured the room and Minho was left to sit there in an almost calm silence as he waiting for the noise to die down.  Eventually the rumbling stopped around him and he was left alone, a pile of rocks next to him where San had been.

Minho could barely believe what just happened. It actually worked. A stupid plan of his actually worked.  His body went numb from the pure adrenaline pumping through his veins, and he stayed completely still, as he stared at the damage he had caused.

 “Minho!”

A familiar voice broke Minho out of his trance, and he widened his eyes as he recognized Jisung entering in earshot. He tilted his head over his shoulder just in time to see the young brunette bolt into view, Chan and Woojin in toe in from where he originally came from. They finally had caught up to him.  Minho gave the group a sheepish smile and a halfhearted wave, knowing he must have looked like crap from his fight. He saw the pure sight of relief on Jisung’s face before it settled back into an angry one, running up to him.

“You idiot!” the younger scolded, slapping Minho on the top of his head before offering a hand to help him up.

“I know I know” he mumbled.

“Do you?” Jisung challenged “because I’m started to think you really just are all beauty and no brains!” he rebuked glaring hard.

“Let me see you” Woojin said urgently, moving Jisung aside and cradling Minho’s face gently while observing him. Minho felt Woojin gently rub his thumb against the gash on his face that San had given him, and after a few tense moments he heard the elder sigh, removing his hands from his face.

“Well you don’t need stiches but I expect that pretty face of yours will now have a scar.”

“Good” Jisung grumbled “Maybe it will make him smarter…”

Minho felt a smile tug at his lips as he heard their stern, yet concerning tone. He nodded his thanks and turned his face to Chan, who was a bit slower in walking up to them. Minho was somewhat shocked to see him with such anger in his eyes, but he reminded himself that his anger was much warranted. Suddenly Minho felt very ashamed of himself. He ran off, he endangered the group, he was incredibly reckless and could have gotten himself killed. Not to mention almost ruining their plan in finding Dowoon.

 Of course Chan was going to be angry.

“Hyung I-“

Minho’s words were cut off as a sharp slap sounded through the room. It came so fast that it took Minho’s brain a few more seconds to register the stinging pain on his face. His eyes looked at both Jisung and Woojin, who gazes were unreadable as they looked the other way. His eyes then found Chans and noticed his hands were shaking as he clasped them on Minho’s shoulder, bowing his head just below his shoulders.

It felt like years had passed to Minho when his leader finally lifted his head back up and stared hard at him.

“I already deal with enough idiots who run around without thinking…don’t make me worry about you as well”

Minho gulped hard, his eyes widened slightly at the pure intensity Chan was giving him. He nodded slightly and mumbled a quick apology before breaking apart, noticing Woojin stepping closer to the rock pile in which San was now crumbled under. Minho felt his heart weigh down with even more guilt. It was small enough impact, and the rocks weren’t too big, but Minho didn’t know anymore.

He watched as Woojin grabbed San’s hand which was sticking out from a gap and felt for a pulse on his wrist. Minho waited in tense silence as the doctor did his checking.

“Is he?...” he was unable to finish. Part of him hoped the younger boy was still alive. Thief or not, he didn’t deserve to die

But to Minho’s relief the black haired doctor shook his head and stood back up. “Don’t worry. He isn’t dead. Just unconscious. It takes a lot more than some rocks to hurt San…trust me”

Minho stopped dead in his tracks. Did he hear that right? How did Woojin know San’s name? He doesn’t remember saying it.

But before he could open his mouth and asked, the sound of voices and fast approaching footsteps hit Minho’s ears and he saw Woojin turn back to the group.  “But that is the least of our concerns. We need to get out of here and fast.”

“But what abou-“

Woojin shook his head “No time. The Under doesn’t take too kindly to those who attack their own. We need to hide and find another way to the city”

Minho felt a hand grab his and turned to see Jisung lock eyes with him. “Are you okay to run on your own?” he asked, quickly squeezing Minho’s hand in response. Minho just looked at the younger boys eyes and found himself lost for words…..again.

What was with this stupid idiot squirrel boy and his even stupider pretty eyes and why was he making Minho’s brain stop half the time?

After another squeeze Minho mentally shook himself free and shook his head in response. “I can do it.”

But before any of them could take a step towards the door, there was a loud explosion behind them. Minho turned his head to see the other opening that he had blocked to keep San trapped had been blown free. Bodies began to pile out, each holding guns, running towards them. “There!” one voice yelled “They are over there!”

“Quickly then!” Woojin snapped.

They began to sprint towards the back entrance, Minho wincing as he felt the injuries from his fight scream at him. They were almost there…just a little closer.

Just then, from the shadows, a lone figure stood tall and still. They drew their weapon, a single longbow and knocked it with a singular arrow.

 “Not so fast intruders!” the figure called out.

The arrow flew over their heads and with a drop of his stomach he realized where it was aiming. His eyes then fell down to Woojin’s back, knowing that the elder was in trouble being at the front of the pack. He froze in his tracks, eyes wide with fear.

They are going to explode the ceiling right above the entrance like I did with San….

 “Woojin!” Minho screamed

The arrow hit its mark and the way they came was suddenly in an explosion of dust and rocks. This impact was 10 times the size of Hyunjin’s bombs. The whole room was shaking and he couldn’t hear anything over the sound of roaring. Gravel and large chunks of rock started to fall all around them and he unintentionally grabbed Jisung’s hand in fear.  Both Woojin and Chan seemed just as shocked and confused by the sudden attack and to his dismay, didn’t see the large chunk of rock heading straight down for Woojin.

Minho’s body went into overdrive and pushed himself forward letting go of Jisung’s hand.

If he gets hit by that…

Chan seemed to notice this as well.

“Wooj!”

Being the closest to the young doctor, Chan quickly pulled back on Woojin’s sleeve, yanking him backwards with all his strength. Woojin’s body was flung back towards them and out of immediate danger, but the action of pulling Woojin back as hard as he did caused Chan’s body to propel forward.

Minho could only watch in terror as a large piece of rock fell down, hitting Chan on the head. His body slumped to the ground instantly and his heart froze he watched more rocks falling overhead.

“Hyung!” Jisung screamed

Woojin recovered himself quickly and turned back around, horror written as clear as day on his face “Channie!”

Woojin sprung himself forward and grabbed a hold of Chan’s limp body, pulling him out from the cross fire.  But before Minho could breathe a sigh of relief, both of their bodies were lost in a cloud of dust and smoke.

For a few brief moments, no one moved. The room still shook, but it was getting quieter and quieter. Men dressed in green suits began to surround them but made no moves.

The perpetrator who shot the exploding arrow stood by their only exit now.

As the dust settled, Minho quickly scanned the area for two friends and felt his blood run cold when he couldn’t locate them. Jisung was beside him, frozen stiff with his own terror and Minho latched his hand onto his again, trying to both find strength and to give it.

After what felt like too long, his eyes finally landed on Woojin’s large frame sitting on the ground. Minho heart lurched as he then saw the elder boy cradling the body of their dear leader.

Both Jisung and Minho sprang forward, landing besides a rather freaked out Woojin whose eyes were wide with fear. The elder lifted his head when he felt Minho’s presence and locked eyes, tears threatening to spill down his face.

“M-Minho!” he cried “Chan! He…He….the boulder….it hit his head...” Woojin was full on sobbing now. He was inconsolable and Minho found himself quickly and quietly stroking his hand in comfort as Jisung checked Chan for a pulse.

Minho didn’t tear his gaze from Jisung’s as the younger’s gaze kept searching and searching. Finally after a few more tense moments he let out a loud, sigh of relief. “The pulse is weak, but it’s there. He is alive.”

Minho watched as Woojin looked down at the unconscious blond and cried into his shoulder with relief. “We are okay Channie.” He mumbled inchoately, rocking his body back and forth.

“We are okay”

Movement in the corner of his eye caught Minho’s attention and he knew they were far from okay at this moment. The sound of footsteps drawing near snapped his body in action and he slowly rose from where he was knelt on the ground, standing protectively over the three of them as Jisung took care of their hyungs.

It was the figure with the longbow. He appeared from the dust, his face covered by a dark hood, and said nothing, but stood very still as the two faced each other.  He had a silently deadly aura much like Hyunjae’s and Minho gulped, his body still screaming from his last fight. The figure took a step closer to them, causing Minho to snap back and focus at the moment on hand.

“Not a step closer” he growled, blocking the figure’s view of his members.

The rather tall figure stopped a few yards away from the group. He still said nothing, but turned his head slightly to look at the pile of rubble that San’s body laid under and quickly snapped his head back at Minho a few moments later, his dangerous aura spiking suddenly.

“What are you doing here?” the voice was dark and menacing.

Minho raised a hand in the air to show a sign of peace. If Chan was out of commission and Woojin wasn’t in good state then he would be the one to negotiate. He is the next oldest after all. “We come from up above.” He started “We mean no harm, and only wish to find someone who lives in The Under-”

The figure interrupted him with a scoffed and motioned towards San’s unconscious body as fellow soldiers began to dig his body out from the rubble “You claim to be in peace and yet you do this to one of our own?!”

“In my defense” Minho disputed back “He started it.”

“Enough!” the figure yelled with a wave of his bow. “You!” he pointed to a nearby solider. “Take San and him-“he motioned to Chan’s body, still unconscious in Woojin’s arms “to the Healing Quarters!”

“Sir?” the soldier asked tentatively “Are you sure we should be bringing them-“

The solider was cut off as the ordering figure quickly cut his chest wide open with the sharp end of his bow. The solider let out a scream of pain and slumped to the floor. His body was quickly picked up by another solider who stood there awaiting the rest of his orders “Have Yunho check them both out.” He continued “And you-“he motioned towards the rest of them “you all are coming with me! The boss will want to know that we have SKZ rats’ scurrying in our home.”

Minho gulped. This was not going according to plan at all.

Likes and Reblogs are appreciated! let me know how you are enjoying the story, if you have any constructive criticism or just wanna talk! ~ 

[art-thropologist]

A Portfolio of Recovery

If you’ve been following my entries, you’ll know that I recently had to go through some medical treatment. I am at a point now where I am willing to share some of the products of the art therapy that went along with that process. With each piece I’ll explain the prompt or the intention behind it and how I interpret the visual cues.

Please note that I will be talking about eating disorder behaviors, body image, and trauma. I use vague terms, but if these are triggering topics, then do not read. If you are in need of help with an ED, NEDA can get you support.

“Timeline” (2019). Color pencil on paper. Prompted.

The only instruction was to create a timeline that represents the development of my body image. Instead of using text I felt more comfortable conveying sentiments through line and color. The horizon line in the center represents the neutral base while rises indicate positive emotions and declines are negative. The timeline is divided into five stages with vertical lines; infancy, lower school, middle school, high school, and college. 

The main colors change as my favorite color changed over the periods, but also reflecting other experiences. I began with blues and yellows as a toddler. Open and wide like a shining sky. I was a happy kid. Who didn’t think themselves invincible back then? I first started having issues with self worth during Elementary school. I was picked on for being ‘dumb’, bullied for being too emotional. Most of the time I was told to ignore the bullies. That doesn’t work. So then I was told not to react. That didn’t work either. It just taught me that I was the one causing issues. I began suppressing displays of emotion. I liked myself, but I figured that I was just always going to be someone else’s punching bag.

Middle school was supposed to be a time of growth. You finally become a teenager. In my case, you have a bat mitzvah and are then an adult to the community. Kids were still relentless in bullying. Add in tween hormones and angst, and you have a powder keg. I hit a growth spurt but I didn’t ‘measure up’ to the other girls. When my parent’s got divorced I blamed myself even though there was nothing I could have done. I felt buried under the pressures of being the perfect daughter as shown with the brown curve. My sister (only 3 years older than me) was my parent; waking me up, getting me to school, taking me to Hebrew school, getting me dinner, etc. Over this period I was forced to become self-sufficient. I had to. I was complimented a few times for being so adult for my age. I latched on to that as a way to build up my self worth. If i couldn’t be pretty, at least I could be mature. I was looking forward to high school as a promised land of new beginnings.

I guess I got what I wanted.

I’m not going into details about what happened. It was a traumatic event. That’s all you need to know. But it left me angry, broken, grieving, and hateful. Once again, I blamed myself even though what happened was in no way my fault. The way I was treated as a result only tore my self worth and body image to shreds. I was ugly. I was at fault. I wasn’t worth caring. I wasn’t good enough. Several years of therapy have let me process a lot of this period in my life. It was the start of my ED behaviors as I tried to make myself worth caring about. Black tainted my experience through a series of deaths. My lowest point was when I realized that I would be the next one if I didn’t get help for my ED.

Hope is purple to me. I began seriously writing in high school (nothing good. Nothing you write in high school is good. You think you’re the next Harper E. Lee or John Green with these big themes that you really don’t understand yet. But it was a way to get some of these big emotions out.) It gave me something to value about myself when I was still belittled as ‘stupid’. When I started college I began to get therapy for anxiety and my ED. Since then I’ve been building myself again. I am stronger. I am a survivor. I do not exist for the approval of others. It sparked a new light, a new fire for me.

“Dance” (2019). Colored pencil on paper. Free draw.

The three overlapping figures represent different dance styles that I’ve done. Red is Hula/Shawl. Green is Irish Step. Blue is Judaic Circle. It all overlaps to me.

“Movement” (2019). Oil pastel on paper. Prompted

Visualizing a group exercise where we were passing items across space. I’m the blue.

“Animals” (2019). Colored pencil and watercolor on paper. Prompted.

Draw three animals. The first is how you think others see you. The second is how you see yourself. The third is who you want to be.

Owl. The wise one. Solitary. Nocturnal. Independent. An omen maybe.

Salmon. Swimming upstream and trying to overcome the currents. Needs others to survive.

Fox. Cunning. Sleek. Adaptive. Wild.

I like the insular style of Tomm Moore and definitely took inspiration here. I wanted all of the animals to be connected in some way, so that style seemed best suited to that.

“Pondshore” (2020). Oil and chalk pastel on paper. Prompted.

What stood out the most during a walk outside?

“Nature walk” (2019). Crayon and oil pastel on paper. Prompted.

How did the nature walk make you feel?

I felt movement from the trees blowing in the wind, the grey sky over head, and my own body.

“How rare and beautiful it is to even exist” (2020). Pencil on paper. Prompted.

Create a mandala.

I pulled on the Tomm Moore style again with all of the components flowing into each other in some way. There are birds flying into the distance, a vine that becomes a raging sea, a woman before a fire, a sun in the sky and a half moon setting. Yes, the title is from Saturn by Sleeping at Last.

“Lyric” (2019). Colored pencil and pencil on paper. Prompted.

What inspires you?

I use sinuous lines of lyrics create my figure. I’m inspired by music and these are songs which have stuck with me.

Blue: “Hello, I've been waiting for you/ I didn't know if you'd recognize my voice/ Cause I've been whispering your name and I've been imagining this day hoping that I’ll say/ Welcome home/ Welcome home. (“Welcome Home” by Joy Williams)

Orange: “Well, I've been deep in this sleeplessness/ I don't know why/ Just can't get away from myself/ When I get back on my feet I'll blow this open wide/ And carry me home in good health” (“Who Do You Love” by Marianas Trench)

Red: “This is gospel for the fallen ones/ Locked away in permanent slumber/ If you love me let me go/ 'Cause these words are knives that often leave scars/ The fear of falling apart” (“This is Gospel” by P!ATD)

Yellow: “How do you write like you're/ Running out of time?/ Write day and night like you're/ Running out of time?/ Like you're running out of time/ Are you running out of time?/ How do you write like tomorrow won't arrive?” (“Non-Stop” from Hamilton)

Purple: “When I die/ I don't want to rest in peace/ I want to dance in joy/ I want to dance in the graveyards/ And while I'm alive/ I don't want to be alone/ Mourning the ones who came before/ I want to dance with them some more/ Let's dance in the graveyards/ Gloria, like some other name/ We kept on calling ya” (“Dance in the Graveyard” by Delta Rae)

“Billowing out a River from My Lungs” (2019). Watercolor, colored pencil, and oil pastel on paper. Free draw.

I’m actually working on a newer version of this. It was just something to explore mediums and a bit of meditative practice.

“Emotions (Sadness, Creativity, Loneliness, Hope, Grief, Sonder)” (2019). Watercolor on paper. Prompted.

Pick six emotions and represent them.

Sadness is dark to me, heavy, and spiraling. It’s a whirlpool that drags you down.

Creativity is spontaneous, bright and orange like flowers. I tried to convey that with different strokes and a golden spark in the corner. 

Loneliness is hard and harsh absence. That feeling of emptiness despite being surrounded by love and compassion.

Hope is green, a path in the forrest that is moving upward, forward.

Grief is red and raw at first and then the longing fades in, dark and deep.

Part 2 is coming soon

[signs-of-the-moon]

Moon Rise: Chapter 31

The next day brought with it murkiness and rain. Plans had been posponed until the downpour slowed. Meanwhile it gave Whitestar time to strategize in her den with the clan's senior warriors. "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather beneath Tall Stone!" That was Chicorynose caterwauling outside. Her voice sounded distant behind the drumming of rain against the rocky den roof. The call she meowed was an unusual one, but none unlike Swiftcloud had heard before. She's probably trying to organize patrols, she figured, rising from her nest. Swiftcloud looked back at her wide eyed denmates, none of whom seemed willing to get up.

"Grassclan warriors! Apprentices! Come out here!" Chicorynose demanded impatiently.

"But it's raining!" Gingerstrike complained, tucking himself deeper into his bracken and wool lined nest. It was unlike him to go against orders. Though, Swiftcloud thought that perhaps the mixture of the rain and the grief of losing Ambereye had made his attitude more sour. It was a shame to see the noble warrior so broken down.

"If she's so eager to speak to us she'll just have to haul her soaking wet hide in here," Bumblethroat chimed. The pale brown tabby tom was hardly different from his brother, the late warrior Butterflytail. Like him, Bumblethroat was a bit spoiled and adamant in his choices, but Swiftcloud always thought him to be more sensible. Though she supposed even the most rational of Grassclan cats would be hesitant to go on patrol during a rainfall.

"She better not get any water on us," Ladybugbite grumbled, grooming her calico spotted tail. "I don't know about all of you, but I'd like to keep the rain outside and away from my pelt, where it belongs."

Other cats mumbled in amused agreement. Swiftcloud scoffed. Though she had to admit she wasn't fond of the rain either, at least she wasn't as adamant about going out in it as the rest of her denmates were. Brave warriors indeed. Can't even handle a little rain. Swiftcloud lifted her chin, padding to the den's entrance. She gave one last glance over her shoulder towards the stubborn warriors before heading out.

"Tulippaw!" She called as she trotted past the apprentice's den. At once the brown and white she-cat emerged, bounding to her mentor's side. A squeal of surprise escaped her as the rain assaulted her thin pelt, probably sending a shock of cold through her. The apprentice gave a leap, pressing her soaked pelt against Swiftcloud's for warmth.

"I'm glad to see at least some cats are willing to come when their deputy calls!" Chicorynose remarked loud enough for all den bound cats to hear. "Since you two are brave enough to come out first, you'll be on hunting patrol with me." Relief claimed Swiftcloud at the news, and Tulippaw gave a little bounce.

"Will you teach me how to catch birds, Swiftcloud?" Tulipaw requested. "Nobody catches them the way you can."

"Oh wow, I'd be glad to teach you!" Swiftcloud was surprised by the apprentice's enthusiasm, especially in this kind of weather. Tulippaw had always been an excitable student, Swiftcloud had known, but she never saw this strong of an interest when Ambereye was teaching her. Chicorynose tipped her head, prompting the two she-cats to have a seat. In a heartbeat she turned, slipping into the warrior's den. Her voice carried even halfway across camp, though her words were lost in the patter of raindrops. Swiftcloud felt cold seeping into her fur with every moment and hoped Chicorynose would hurry along. My nubby tail might freeze off by the time we leave camp, she worried. A chorus of groans followed Chicorynose out of the warrior's den, followed by the displeased group of warriors who begrudgingly followed the deputy into the clearing.

"Come on, you know I wouldn't be making you patrol in the rain if I didn't have to. But we have to keep a watch on the Treeclan border. The fresh-kill pile is stocked enough that my patrol and I can fill the rest of the gaps in. You all only have to mark boundaries. So stop complaining." Bumblethroat grumbled something under his breath, making Ladybugbite snicker. Chicorynose turned on the tom and hissed at him before turning around. She stalked back to Swiftcloud and Tulippaw, waving her tail in a command for them to follow. The pair rose to their paws, padding behind the deputy and out of camp.

"Are we going back to the Forest Patch?" Tulippaw wondered aloud.

"Oh no, definitely not. Especially not after the stunt you pulled last time. No, we're going to Rabbit Gorge. I don't recall Ambereye telling me you ever successfully hunted a rabbit before. Today is a good day to practice."

Tulippaw groaned. "But Swiftcloud said she'd teach me how to hunt birds."

"There'll probably be some in the trees nearby the warren. You can catch birds there."

It had been a while since Swiftcloud had visited Rabbit Gorge. She'd originally favored the Forest Patch for it's abundance of cover. The gorge did not provide many places for a cat to hide, especially for her. Chicorynose and Tulippaw would have an easier time hunting there in the dull brown grasses where their pelts seamlessly blended. But Swiftcloud's mostly white fur would make her more easily spotted. Luckily, hunting rabbits was a team effort. In Rabbit Gorge, Swiftcloud was better at flushing out prey, leading it into the awaiting claws of her partner. It wasn't the way she wanted to teach Tulippaw to hunt, but she'd have to learn how to do it this way sometime.

The rain turned rich soil muddy, raindrops causing splatter and creating a fog of mud-spray. Hunting here today would be messy. But the rabbits would be more easily disoriented, disliking heavy rain almost as much as Grassclan warriors did. And their eyesight was poor already; the fog would further serve to provide the cats better cover.

"The three of us will work together today, " Chicorynose meowed. "In this weather, it would probably be for the best. Swiftcloud, I'll take Tulippaw over this way." The deputy pointed with her tail. "You track down a rabbit and chase it in our direction." Swiftcloud gave a nod of approval, turning tail and stalking off. She glided along a worn down path into the gorge, opening her mouth to taste the air. The warm smell of rabbit rushed over her scent glands, tempting the warrior closer. A bear-length in front of her, three rabbits sat huddled beneath a shelf of earth. The area they sat under looked to have been worn down by moons of erosion, most likely due to past flooding. But today it served as the perfect shelter from the rain. Along the same stretch of shelter, another fox-length down, Swiftcloud could see more rabbits huddled together. Why were so many outside in this weather? Was their warren flooded out? Worry began to prickle in the white and black patched molly's pelt. She suddenly felt unsafe here, alone in the gorge. But she wouldn't have to stay long, she reminded her. Through her anxiety Swiftcloud pressed forward, dropping into a crouch and stalking through the grass. She'd need to be as close as possible to chase the rabbits in the right direction. Quiet as a mouse, the patched warrior crept up on her unsuspecting prey. When she was in striking distance, she leaned back on her haunches. She gave a little wiggle, narrowing her eyes in foucus, before bolting out of cover. The rabbits shot out from their shelter like lightning, pelting away as fast as their swift legs could carry them. Swiftcloud was able to keep up easily, swiping at one and tripping it up enough to injure it. Two rabbits ran right into the patrol's trap, getting pounced on and killed off by Chicorynose and an eager Tulippaw. Swiftcloud made quick work of the third rabbit who let out a pained squeal as its life came to an end. Pride swelled in Swiftcloud chest as she picked up her catch, spying the rabbit Tulippaw had snagged. Swiftcloud dragged her prey over to the patrol, placing it before the paws of the deputy.

"Good catch!" She praised, smiling. "How about you two go and find yourself a bird? I'll see if I can nab another rabbit in the meantime." Tulippaw lit up at the suggestion. Swiftcloud twitched her whiskers approvingly. She flicked an ear, prompting her apprentice to follow her elsewhere. Swiftcloud's blue eyes scanned the few spare trees along the edges of the gorge, ears trained to the sound of chirping. There was prey nearby, though it was a couple bear-lengths off. Swiftcloud decided to make this a teachable moment, using this time to explain how she developed her bird hunting technique.

"Back when I was a kittypet," she began, "my Twoleg would swing around a vine with feathers on the end and make me jump to catch it. It was a lot of fun, and I used those skills to develop a technique for catching birds taking flight."

"Really..? Wait, you were a kittypet?" Tulippaw sounded shocked.

Swiftcloud nodded. "I was. I joined the clan when you were very young. I'm suprised no one told you. Or that you didn't overhear about it from someone."

"I think I did. But I guess I never really believed it. You don't act the way kittypets are described at all."

"That's because I never really belonged as a Twoleg's toy," Swiftcloud confessed. "I always knew there was something more out there for me. Joining Grassclan had been like coming home for first time. And ever since, I've done my very best to live the ways of a clanborn cat and to follow the Warrior Code."

"I think I wanna be just like you when I'm a warrior," Tulippaw decided. Swiftcloud felt honored. She'd never realized a cat would even want to look up to her. Then again, she'd never believed she would have an apprentice either.

"As long as you listen to your lessons and learn well, I think you'll turn out exactly as you want. Now, let me show you how to catch a flying bird." Tulippaw smiled brightly at her mentor, dropping into a crouch beside her. "At first you want to keep low to the ground. Step lightly, but swiftly, and keep from sight. A bird will see you before it will smell you, but on the ground it'll feel you first. Use a mouse hunting crouch to start, then when you're close enough change your position to have your haunches raised." Swiftcloud demonstrated, Tulippaw following her every pawstep. Swiftcloud's voice dropped to a soft whisper as she continued. "That way you're ready to leap when the bird takes off. Then, spring out using the power of your back legs, leap up, and swipe at the bird's wings." Tulippaw gave a nod, continuing on her way as a wood pigeon dropped down from the trees, directly in her path. The apprentice gave a glance back at her mentor before putting her focus forward. Haunches raised, Tulippaw hesitated a moment before leaping. The bird gave a startled coo, flapping it's wings and taking off. But before it could get far Tulippaw leaped up, slapping the creature back to the ground. She pressed a paw to it, lunging forward to snap it's neck. The wood pigeon lay limp beneath her grip, and Swiftcloud purred approvingly.

"That was awesome Tulippaw, great job! Let's go show Chicorynose now and head home."

~~~

"Cats of Grassclan." Swiftcloud could hear Whitestar's meow as she crawled through the bramble tunnel, emerging into the clearing. A meeting had been called; luckily the patrol had made it home just in time to listen in. Swiftcloud hurried along with her rabbit still dangling in her maw, depositing the prey on the fresh-kill pile. Chicorynose and Tulippaw were right beside her, putting down their catches to sit and listen to what Whitestar had to say. "Tomorrow, we will set forth on our mission to push back the Treeclan border. After careful discussion with our senior warriors, a sneak attack seems the best approach. Only Fighters and Spies will be required for this task. Treeclan think they can waltz onto our land and claim it for themselves. And that is exactly what we are going to do to them. Spies will watch out for Treeclan patrols, while Fighters will advance ahead deeper into the Forest Patch. We will go as far as we possibly can, but not further than the Thunder Path. I don't expect us to make it that far tomorrow, but if we keep it up and if we win, we should be able to claim our new borders within a moon. It will be dangerous. Fighting is guaranteed to ensue. But Starclan willing, this war will be over soon." At once, Grassclan erupted into cheers, yowling their approvals of the new plan ahead. Swiftcloud, however, remained silent. She knew that pushing the border had been her idea, but she couldn't help feeling anxious for it. It's for the good of the clan, she told herself. But so many will get hurt in the process. But...it has to be done. Come what may, this was the only solution to their troubles. Treeclan would never give up more land willingly. Grassclan would have to take it by force. For the good of both the clans.

[fallingin-like]

november 12

peu à peu by @zombiesolace​ [requested by @jsteneil]

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!

this is a really interesting character study on post-canon kevin and how he finds his place within the foxes and deals with the aftermath of the events within the series. this fic has a lot of introspection and does a really great job of unpacking everything.

this is such an intriguing fic to me, i don’t see that many that really delve into kevin and his thoughts. i can’t imagine how difficult of a time he must have, both throughout the series and during post-canon events. this fic really made me better appreciate the struggles that he goes through because it’s really common to have his actions portrayed without any of this explanation or why he acts in certain ways. we always see his single-mindedness with respect to exy and just kind of write it off as kevin being kevin. i think you effectively explored his character and inner thoughts.

some parts that stood out to me:

“it goes like this: they lose.” uhm somehow you were able to break my heart in the first two lines of the fic? i love the simplicity of the way you worded this, it contrasts really well with the significance of what it means, for the foxes, but especially for kevin.

kevin yelling at the team after the loss feels very in character. it reminds me of what he was apparently like when coaching the foxes prior to playing, and we see a little bit of it in the books themselves. it really comes down to the fact that kevin is desperate. for a lot of the foxes, the loss stings, but at the end of the day it’s just a loss. the criticism is harsh and they don’t understand why kevin is so hard on them. to kevin, it’s his life. not just because of the fact that he’s definitely trying to go pro and have exy as his career and not just because the moriyamas are definitely watching over him, but because that’s how he was raised as a child. kevin’s terrible childhood is somewhat overshadowed by the rest of the foxes, but he likely still has trauma from how he was raised in the nest, under the master and riko. so much pressure that it feels natural that he wants to try and regain control in some way.

”they’re a team, they fall together. and yet after each game this year, kevin has found himself falling apart alone. biting shame and swallowing frustration as he tears into each overanalyzed mistake” i find in life it’s so easy to isolate yourself from the people around you. the foxes probably find it hard to be sympathetic towards kevin, but they probably don’t realise that as harsh as he is to them, he is exponentially more critical of himself. in your own head, mistakes can be an unending loop, constant and distracting. this fic is really opening my eyes to what kevin is dealing with and appreciating him so much more.

”their win last year was a fluke. a gift given to them by virtue of the trojans. a simply byproduct of the hardiness of the foxes and the instability of riko’s collapsing domain.” ohmygoodness nooo it’s always so hard for me as an outsider to see kevin (and really anyone) struggle with the imposter syndrome. so many people (including many talented fanfic authors!!) write off their talent, skill, and hard work as fluke or luck as opposed to the many hours spent bettering themselves and practicing.

”it is with an overwhelming sense of dread that kevin thinks of his death. with each day the reality of riko’s loss feels more sure… kevin wishes riko’s ghost had followed. he wishes riko were still alive. he wishes he were alone, he wishes he weren’t.” wow i love the way you wrote this, with his conflicting thoughts. since we experienced the series through neil’s pov, riko’s death feels more like victory and less like a loss. it’s something to be celebrated. but i think it can almost be seen as similar to mary’s death, which neil mourned. both characters were abusive and did things that were wrong. and yet, they were loved. whether we like it or not, riko was kevin’s family and though their relationship was twisted and manipulated, especially as they grew older, riko was the person that kevin was closest to. emotions are so complicated and i bet kevin feels like he can’t discuss this with the other foxes, who don’t quite understand.

”he knows that his commentary is far more nuanced by virtue of being a fox. kevin takes the out and opens the folder he has on the roadrunners.” this is kind of small, but i find it has some significance. it can be so easy to do the thing that you know is self destructive and get caught in a rabbit hole of pages and articles of bad. good on kevin for not doing that.

”the name wymack clings to his tongue. coach sits temptingly at the back of his palette. my dad, his mind whispers, the words clear and intrusive.” ugH it must be so so hard for kevin to work through this. i love these lines.

”andrew pokes his head out of the bedroom. he stares blankly at kevin, his hair mussed… he leaves the door partially ajar. kevin feels something in his chest loosen.” oo i really really liked this part. andrew has his own unique way of showing that he cares and i love seeing the small things that he does.

the whole conversation between dan and kevin is so interesting. the actual information that you’re sharing about exy and the way that they interact. i think you did a great job of showing a realistic back and forth.

”riko was always right there. kevin never had to call him.” these two sentences, and actually that whole section is really just so heartbreaking. you do a great job of making me understand kevin, something i haven’t really done so before.

”that’s not true. he does know. he enjoys having the ability to express his opinion. it’s a novelty he’s still getting used to.” oh, kevin.

”kevin can’t see any of the foxes. they disappeared into the store moments upon arrival and three out of the four are too short to be seen over the aisles.” lol what a mood (i am short)

kevin’s interaction with the fans is so interesting. i wonder if he often dealt with actually meeting fans during his time as a raven. it’s also really interesting to see neil from this point of view, he almost seems… unfamiliar? but not in a bad way. it kind of really brings us into the perspective of kevin.

abby-kevin relationship is so nice. i think it’s great that kevin has a maternal figure that he can find comfort in

the section on kayleigh is just so so sad. it makes me feel grief for someone i never knew. it aches knowing that she was such a wonderful woman, that kevin had her and now he doesn’t.

”’wooo!’ nicky shouts, ‘now that was a wake up call i didn’t need.’” ohmygoodness i love the way that you write nicky! it really lightens the fic a bit more.

honestly the bit about jean being waterboarded is horrifying to me. 

i like that wymack took kevin to riko’s funeral. there’s a sense of closure that has to do with it, kevin being with his real family while saying goodbye to what used to be his family

”he doesn’t recall riko breaking his had. he remembers before, and he remembers after but he doesn’t remember the moment his life changed.” i really appreciate the formatting you used with this, the line separating the first sentence, the way that you broke up the second sentence into two lines. it feels more impactful, more significant.

”he can see nicky and aaron showing off their most ridiculous dance moves in the corner for one another” oh my goodness this is amazing

“he wonders if they’ll call him an ex-fox when he graduates or if he’ll always be labeled an ex-raven. the nest had a quiet energy that fox tower doesn’t.” oh oh i like this a lot

also i like how you broke up the texts with paragraphs of kevin’s thoughts. it shows the gaps between his texts more and i feel his loneliness more keenly. the double-texting with the periods between reminds me of when i am at my loneliest

i love kevin’s conversation with jeremy. he’s known as one of the nicest, brightest characters in the series, but we really see why. how he is able to relax kevin and just speak to him.

your explanation of kevin choosing history as his major is so insightful, i’ve never really considered it, but now i wish i had

”i want andrew to enjoy himself. he does it rarely, kevin, you’re aware of that” renne is just so great.

the part about kevin using twitter, especially as a way to try and connect with thea is so interesting to me.

”’does he know you’re better than he is?’ she’d whispered in his ear” I LOVE THIS LINE what a turning point in kevin’s journey

ahh the part about nicky telling andrew about the conspiracy station, it’s so nice to see the way they are bonding like his

andrew is such a complicated character, i absolutely adore the way that you write him. a lot of the time i read a softer side of him, through the perspective of neil. kevin and andrew have a fascinating relationship, i love seeing it from kevin. “he gives kevin a thumbs up”, “i hear you, andrew says” these are so perfect

wymack giving kevin an extra jacket is peak dad behaviour.

recently i’ve been so fond of seeing authors incorporate the title of their fic into the writing. this is no different, it makes the title have that much more meaning “little by little, the bird builds his nest” i love this. how did you come across this quote? it’s so fitting for this fic

the dynamic between dan, wymack, and kevin is so so interesting. wymack and kevin are so similar that sometimes i guess it causes a distance because they’re not the best at communication. and it must be hard. they’re related, but still have so much to learn about each other. i guess i’ve never though much of how close dan and wymack are. you do a really good job at capturing the tension that exists, the interactions.

”he thinks a lot of people would rather he never spoke again” oh no this hit me hard

the little part where kevin and dan are talking about neil’s shot, i like this little bonding that we see. exy is the thing that has brought them together

”’you’ll make a good wymack,’ he says. dan jerks back, her mouth open, and her eyes stunned.” oh this is so nice

”he wants to say he’s my dad, but he’s hers too; hers more so and that’s dan’s point. what would he know? ‘he saved me too,’ he says instead” oh my goodness i love this so much

sorry but neil and kevin teaming up and nicky and aaron teaming up so that andrew loses is the best part of this fic and anyone that believes otherwise can fight me!!! “when they arrive in columbia andrew makes an aborted move like he will shut neil out of their room and it’s the first time kevin hears something like a laugh from neil.” this is so soft i needed this

go thea!!! thank you for making her so amazing in this fic!!! i like how you write their relationship, it’s refreshing and really interesting, we don’t know that much about thea

THEA TAKING OFF HER NECKLACE WHEN KEVIN CHANGES HIS TATTOO THIS IS THE BEST

there’s so much that you covered in this fic. kevin’s relationship with exy, riko, the rest of the foxes, wymack. i love the way that you worked through everything. the gradual improvement of the foxes following with kevin’s mental health improving. but we can really see how far he has come when they lose and he’s okay with it. you made me feel so close to kevin. your writing is wonderful, so many little details that just build to make this fic amazing. thank you so much for writing this!

[honeywithblueberries]

Christmas Biscuits Part 2

CHRISTMAS EVE

“Will you be still!”

The fidgety wolf yelped as John’s pin pricked skin as it was removed. The todd was cross, standing on a stool in the Arctic wolf’s cabin, with the large ram, Ian, and Claudia looking on. He had completed the suit in record time, now he just needed to make sure it fit perfectly.

And Devin was not making it easy. In the last twelve hours, John had been elbowed while taking his measurements, had his tail stepped on while hemming the trousers, and been sat upon as he checked the waistline. And, of course, he had accidentally poked, stabbed, and pulled Devin’s thick fur as the wolf seemed to need to keep the fox in his sight at all times.

Needless to say, Devin and John were not fond of each other at this point.

“Howlstein!” John growled as he tried to remove another pin. The wolf’s elbow jerk, almost causing it to sink into his arm. Devin growled back.

“None of this was my idea, Wilde!” He casted his eyes to the tigress giggling into her palm at the exchange. “I’M not the one who told a kit Santa isn’t real!”

Both Ian and Claudia ceased their giggling and narrowed their eyes at the wolf being fitted. Claudia stood and took a threatening step towards him, her tail flicking behind her and ears splayed.

“I didn’t me-“ She was abruptly cut off by Julius, who went to stand between the two.

“Look, as endearing as it is to hear you lot insult each other on Christmas eve, can we please just concentrate on the fact that this,” he gestured with a hoof at the wonderfully made suit Devin wore, “is going to make the holiday for every single kit on the estate?”

Ian slammed his paw onto the table and grinned at the jump everyone gave. Devin winced again as John’s paws slipped and a pin poked his shoulder.

“Hear hear! Think of all those sweet, little faces lighting up when you enter the party as Santa!” Ian nodded enthusiastically as his fellow wolf rolled his eyes and huffed.

John gave Devin a look of disdain as he continued his work, while Ian held in the growl at his lack of enthusiasm. Until another thought occurred to him. Allowing his muzzle to curve into a sly smile, he stood and sauntered up to his comrade. Claudia and Julius watched curiously.

“And, of course, you are aware of how attractive it is to females when a male is good with cubs,” this caused Devin’s head to snap up and his eyes meet Ian’s, “and just imagine what Lilia Lupanna will think when she sees all those sweet baby bunnies crawling over the sweet wolf who volunteered to be Santa. Just to restore some Christmas magic to one. Little. ADORABLE. Baby hare.”

Julius choked back his laughter as his cabin mate’s mouth dropped open and he groaned slightly. His tail was wagging so fast, it was surprising the wolf wasn’t propelled forward. The ram grinned as he continued Ian’s train of thought.

“Nothing says ‘mate material’ like being good with offspring,” he added exchanging smiles with Claudia and John.

“No matter what the species,” the tigress quipped with a wink.

Devin’s nose twitched and his tail went still. Hazel eyes met John’s brown ones. The fox simply raised his eyebrows and waited, arms crossed and hind paw tapping on the stool he stood on.

He suddenly straightened, arms held out on either side, and head forward. New excitement in his eyes and a fresh grin on his muzzle, he gave a determined nod.

“Just call me Santa!”

………………….

Judy was balanced on top of Nick’s shoulders. Her heavy tartan dress and scarf adding more weight than what he was use to, the todd managed to keep his friend steady as she smoothed out the head of their snow creation.

“Now we just need the coal and radish, then he shall be complete!” She looked down as Nick grinned up in response.

One paw cautiously left her foot and reached for a sack containing their supplies and passed it up to her.

“Hey, Carrots? Papa and I always use sticks for arms,” he said as he tried to see around the hem of her dress, “so maybe we can give our snow funny it’s own sword?”

Judy squealed in excitement as she tucked the radish into the center of their creations face. Bracing herself on Nick’s shoulders, she hopped down and stood back to admire their work: Longer ears on top of its head with slight lump in the center of its face and a mound of snow wrapped from behind it for a tail.

“Huh,”said the bunny doe with a smile, “snow funny? I LOVE IT!”

Her friend grinned shyly at her as she dashed away. His ears perked curiously as he watched the bunny drag two large branches towards him. Rushing to help, they managed to get the arms in place before casting a glance around.

“Ah ha!” Exclaimed Nick.

The side of the manor had a row of sleeping flower beds, their bushes barren, waiting for the snow to melt and spring to wake them up. Shaved wood kept the frost from reaching their roots, as well as providing them with some much need nutrients for their hibernation.

Some mammal, however, had thrown a long slender pole in to the mixture. It was well polished, with a hook at the end, obviously meant for some household task. How it ended up outside, neither kit cared. Their snow funny needed a sword. But maybe a spear would do.

“Perfect!” The fox and bunny admired their handiwork, the coal cleverly placed to make their creation look like it was snarling. Surely none would mess with such an imposing beast!

Giving each other a happy nod, they turned to head into the house. Only to find themselves staring at a low snow wall. So distracted they had been, they had not noticed when Skye and several of Judy’s brothers and sisters had hastily built the wall. More alarmingly, Jack had organized the Hopps kits in the construction of multiple snowballs.

It may have been the hare’s first snow, but he took to it quickly.

“Well, well, well!” Came the amused voice of Jack. He and Skye stood side by side, identical smug smiles on their faces. “If it isn’t the heroes of Bunnyburrow!”

“And if it isn’t Captain Jack!” Nick puffed out his chest and strutted towards the enemy. Judy followed, her eyes narrowed at her siblings ears that poked up from the wall.

Traitors, she thought.

“I heard tales that you two fought monsters and giants and dragons,” the hare and the vixen exchanged unimpressed looks, “but let’s see how you do against the  great Captain Jack Savage and General Skye Frostbite!”

Nick and Judy exchanged their own looks of disinterest, until every one of the hiding bunnies popped up. Each held a snowball aimed at the pair. About a dozen pairs of Hopps eyes focused on their sister and her fox.

“FIRE!” Cried the vixen and both she and the hare dropped behind the wall.

With shouts of glee, Judy’s siblings bounced up, pitching their snowballs at the duo below them, before disappearing again!

“Run!” Nick and Judy shouted together, ducking behind their snow funny. The unfortunate creation took the brunt of the attack, several pieces of coal and it’s radish nose falling as the snowballs made contact. Judy frantically started constructing their own for a counter attack, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

Nick, however, gave wail of despair at the attack on their funny.

“Bruno! NOOOOOOOOOOO!” His little head popped around the side of it, his face screwed up in a comical display of grief. Eyes shut, muzzle raised as he howled his displeasure, he shook his mittened fists at their attackers.

And ended up getting a face full of snow. Judy looked up and rolled her eyes at him, before grabbing the collar of his heavy coat and yanking him back.

“Dumb fox!” She shouted. “We shall amindge* him later! They’re too organal*! So start building these so’s we can beat their tails!”

The fox todd frantically started copying his friend, their pile of ammo growing.

“Judy, what’s amindge mean?”

Finishing the snowball in her paws, she gave it a fierce grin.

“Payback.”

………

The rapid fire had ceased. Under Jack and Skye instructions, the Hopps kits started spacing out their attacks. Needing to replenish their ammo supplies, bunny paws busied themselves as the hare and vixen cautiously peered over the edge of the wall.

“It’s quiet,” whispered Skye, her keen eyes scanning the area around the snow funny for movement.

“Too quiet,” agreed Jack. His long ears alternated between straight and folded, trying to pick up sounds of movement without becoming targets.

“Where do you think they are?” Whispered Skye, casting a glance at her friend.

“Right here!”

Jack, Skye, the rest of the Hopps brood nearly fainted with fright as Nick popped up from the snow. Throwing the snowballs in his paws at the Captain and General, the todd jumped aside. Judy followed her friend from the entrance of the snow tunnel she had dug. Facing her brothers and sisters, who were properly stunned at the surprise attack, each got a face full of snow.

With Nick keeping the hare and vixen busy and Judy occupying her family, none noticed the hulking figure making his rounds around the estate. That is, until the over enthusiastic kits Judy was fighting threw their ammo too high. They missed the players of the fight. Instead, about ten snowballs became acquainted with the face of Mr. Bogo.

He staggered back at the force of the vicious attack, stumbling over his hooves and landing in an ungraceful heap into the snow. The fight stopped as quickly as it had begun. Every little face turned to the gruff buffalo, who blinked snow out his eyes.

Jack, Skye, Nick, and Judy all gulped as he made eye contact with each of them.

Before bursting into laughter. The group let out a collective sigh and relaxed as their head of security cheerfully sat in the snow, not bothering to lecture them or righten himself.

“Ah, to be young again!” He exclaimed fondly, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.

He focused his gaze back to the four mischief makers in front of them. His smile slowly dropped when he realized each held a snowball. It dropped further after noticing the kits that had been recruited followed suit. Dark brown eyes widened with over dramatized fear when Bogo saw the smug grins forming on the four ringleaders.

“Now, now,” he said holding up a hoof while scooting away, “let’s not be too hasty! Those aren’t toys, Hopps’! And Frost! And Wilde! And McLeaps!”

“Get him!” Shouted Jack. The volley of snowballs was just the beginning. After they had been thrown, Bogo curled away from their impact, allowing Jack and Skye to jump onto his shoulders. The two giggled as the buffalo shot to his hind hooves, though not before Nick and Judy launched themselves at his horns.

The other Hopps kits giggled and rushed his legs, climbing onto each other in a bunny pyramid. Bogo laughed where he stood, the kits happily climbing up the buffalo. As he didn’t wish to squish one of them, he stood still when they swarmed him.

Nick and Judy perched on his horns, declaring themselves rulers of Buffalo Mountain. Skye and Jack were laughing as their hind paws dangled from his shoulders.

“You know,” Bogo started as raised his eyes to get glimpse at the duo on his head, “this is very naughty! And Santa doesn’t bring gifts to naughty kits!”

The Hopps’ and foxes both stopped and exchanged worried glances. Jack, however, waved one paw dismissively.

“Santa isn’t real,” he stated, matter of factly.

Over a dozen pairs of eyes landed on the striped hare.

“What?” Squeaked one little bunny clutching Bogo’s trouser leg.

“Santa isn’t real?” Whispered another.

“But, then, well, who gives us all those presents?” A little doe with hazel eyes blinked at the hare perched on Bogo’s shoulder.

“It’s probably-“ Jack’s words were cut off by a large hoof over his muzzle.

“Santa is most certainly real and it is he who puts your gifts under the tree!” Bogo said as brightly as he could. Many relieved faces blinked up at him. “Now! I heard the cook has some hot cider and ginger biscuits ready for any cold and weary kits who need them!”

The bunnies immediately let themselves fall from their climb up his legs, giving a loud cheer and marching towards the house. Once they were out of earshot, Bogo turned his attention to the little hare on his shoulder.

“Jack, who told you Santa wasn’t real?” The buffalo’s voice was gentle, his eyes soft as he watched the kit nervously fidget with his coat buttons.

“No one had to tell me, Mr.Bogo. I figured it out on my own,” he said glumly, thinking back to his talk with Miss Claudia.

Nick and Judy gave a gasp from atop Bogo’s horns, their eyes filling with tears as they looked down at their friend. Skye simply tilted her head and blinked at Jack. She couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for him.

Being so very far away from his home, surrounded by the unfamiliar. He had never even celebrated Christmas before. The very idea of a strange mammal breaking into homes to just leave presents and eat treats was mind boggling to him. Try telling a bunch of militarized, heavily armed hares this was expected every year; they would have declared war on this Santa mammal.

“Hmmmmmm,” was the buffalo’s response.

He reached up to put the remaining kits back on the ground, starting with Skye. Nick and Judy soon joined her next to the abandoned snow wall. Only Jack remained, readying himself to be scooped up from his seat. But Bogo didn’t set him down right away.

Instead, he was held at eye level. Brown met blue as the buffalo smiled at one of his newest charges.

“How about, we keep Santa not existing to ourselves?” The little hare cocked his head in confusion and opened his mouth to protest. But Bogo cut him off. “We wouldn’t want to spread false information, now would we?”

He set the stunned kit down next his friends, his brow furrowed in confusion. But Mr. Bogo simply smiled at the quartet before giving a short bow and continuing on his way.

“What did Mr. Bogo mean about false information?” Asked Jack as he watched the head of security vanish.

“He means, Santa is visiting us tonight!” Shouted Skye. She grabbed Jack’s paw before he could start to dispute her and dragged him towards the manor. Nick and Judy stayed rooted in place, both looking at where Bogo had vanished to the now ruined snow funny they had built.

“Nick?” The todd’s ears lifted at the sound of Judy’s voice. As though she were about to cry. He found it more sad then the possibility of no Santa. “There really is a Santa, right?”

He turned his bright green eyes to her shining purple ones and gave the most confident smile he could muster.

“Of course there is, Carrots!” The fox shivered as a light snow began to fall. He put his arm around the bunny and followed after his cousin and Jack.

At least, I hope so, he thought. ……………………

Lord Stewart Hopps was being sneaky. Lady Bonnie and Martha were in full party planning mode, the two females checking in with every staff member to ensure everyone knew their place and duty. Francine had rounded up the kits for some Christmas craft projects, which kept them out of the way and would add a bit of charm to the parlor decor.

The school room exploded with vast quantities of paper chain mail, paw print cutouts, and laughter from tiny bunnies ready for the holiday.

With his children occupied and neither sight nor sound of Judy and the other mischief makers, Stewart took these moments to hang more mistletoe around the manor. Nothing pleased him more than watching his wife’s ears blush whenever he caught her under it. Not to mention his daughters giggles when their daddy placed a sweet kiss on their cheeks.

The kitchen entry way, top of the stairs, every doorway, and Marty’s antlers were all decorated with the kissing bough. Marty himself had tied it, hoping it would surprise his own wife into dropping her guard enough for a kiss. How could one refuse? It was tradition, after all.

Giggling to themselves like the youths they were at heart, the two males surveyed their paw work. Each were ready to reap the benefits of the mistletoe. They glanced from bunch to bunch in satisfaction before glancing above their heads. Both smiles dropped when they realized they stood under one.

Eyes widened, both yelped and scurried away from each other. Maybe tradition can be ignored from time to time. ……………….

Afternoon found all the kits crammed into the manor to escape the dropping temperatures of outside.

Francine, for once, was in charge of every single bunny kit in the Hopps household. And, of course Skye, Nick, Jack, and Camellia. With their nap forgone and the non stop activities, the very small ones- five and younger- and baby Camellia were rubbing sleepy eyes by the time the sun was setting.

They were marched into the dining room for an early supper before being herded upstairs for baths. Bonnie, Vivian, and Essi took turns telling stories to the young ones, filling their little heads with promises of presents and sweets on the morrow.

Those old enough to understand the concept of Santa took little convincing to curl up and say good night. He would see them if they were sleeping and knew when they were awake. They had been on their best behavior all year (well, mostly!) and they would be damned if they ended up on Santa’s naughty list on Christmas Eve.

Essi tucked her infant daughter in with the Hopps kits. It would allow her to enjoy the party knowing Camellia was safe and sound just above her. Light kisses where passed around, Vivian’s paws shaking slightly she said good night to the little creatures.

They’re so tiny, she thought. One paw went instinctively to her stomach. The slight bump already could be felt, much to her and Matthew’s delight. ……….

Still running on adrenaline, Lady Bonnie rushed to her room for a quick change before she had to be down stairs. Her gown lay on its mannequin, ready for her to slip into. Hastily, she undid her day dress, letting it rest where it fell as she went to the water basin.

A quick rinse of her face was all she afforded herself, wanting to be prompt for her guests. She blindly reached for a cloth to dry her face, but her paw was met by the buttons of her husband’s waistcoat.

“Stewart,” she began, a slight warning in her voice. Her husband chuckled as he passed the cloth to her, smiling as she dried her eyes first to give him reproachful glare.

His smile in place, the lord let his gaze travel from hers up to the ceiling. Failing to repress her own smile, she looked up at the mistletoe she should’ve expected.

“We haven’t time for this, my love,” she said with a bit of a laugh. Stewart merely shrugged and stepped closer to her. Bonnie giggled and backed quickly away from under the bough. “Ha! What are you to do now, Mr. Sneaky Pants?”

Her husband shrugged again before looking back up at the ceiling. Her jaw dropped at finding herself under another. Pointing at him, she laughed as he rushed towards her.

“Oh, no! Don’t you dare, Stewart!” She gave another laugh before turning to run from her amorous husband.

“Come now, my dear!” He said, enjoying their yearly ritual. “It is tradition to kiss a pretty doe under the mistletoe!”

He caught her, still laughing and trying to evade his affections, and tossed her onto the bed. She smiled up at her love as he worked his clothing off.

“Who am I to fight tradition?” She sighed as he was welcomed into her embrace.

“Indeed,” he agreed, “and after the last few months, this is the one thing I would never like to see change.”

Bonnie kissed her husband, the father of her kits, the male who had built his fortune for the sole purpose of wanting to make sure she and their kits would never want for anything.

“As long as I have breath, Stewart Hopps, this never shall.”

Lord and Lady Hopps just barely made it to the stairs before their kits. ……………….

The older litters were taken to their separate rooms to get properly dressed for the festivities that evening. With Francine taking charge of Nick, Jack, and the other bucks, Martha helped the does and Skye dress in their party clothes.

Skye admired her reflection in the mirror. Growing up traveling and working with plants, her clothing consisted mainly of sturdy, simple breeches and canvas shirts. Her only dress was simply not fit for a party. It actually might look better in the fireplace. As kindling.

“I look so PRETTY!” She exclaimed. Judy smiled at her friend as the vixen twirled.  Her snowy white fur looked extra soft and fluffy.

Made by Cousin John, it was lovely ice blue with small snowflakes stitched into the hem. With cap sleeves and a white sash around her waist, tied in a bow behind her, Skye felt like princess. She and Judy’s sisters twirled together like little  brightly colored tops.

“You look like a fairy princess, Skye,” exclaimed Judy.

Her friend paused in her antics to smile at the bunny doe. She was frowning down at her own outfit, a lovely emerald green dress, with a row of decorative buttons running down the front and longer sleeves. While she was normally in a dress, never had Skye seen her friend look this cleaned up.

If she enjoyed being called cute, I would do so, she thought.

“You look like a pirate queen in disguise, Judy!” The bunny doe’s eyes shot up. Just a hint of hope showed in them. Pirate queen meant adventure. If she pretended that’s what she was, maybe she could enjoy the dress more. The vixen nodded encouragingly. “You do! We all look just lovely.”

Skye came up to link arms with her as Martha double checked their appearances. Satisfied they were all presentable, she lined them up and marched them to the stairs.

Francine was fussing with Nick’s bow tie. The impatient todd was trying to be still, though he couldn’t help but glance longingly at the door. Jack ignored the chatter of the other bucks in the room to quietly observe the mother and son.

The males all wore various sizes of the same suit. Crisp, black trousers paired with smart little jackets. The white shirts they wore under them were heavily starched and slightly stiff. The only difference in the outfits were the vests and bowties each male wore.

Jack caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and his ears shot up. Taking a tentative step towards his reflection, he ran his paws over the sky blue vest he wore. The tuff of fur on his head was combed down, not a bit out of place, and his bow tie was perfectly even and centered. Straightening up, he smiled at himself, liking the hare he saw in the mirror. Even his stripes seemed more pleasant to look at.

“Yes, Jack, you look very handsome!” Said Francine with a smile, releasing her son who joined him at the mirror. The hare blushed and dropped his ears when he realized he had been caught admiring himself.

The todd frowned at himself, feeling ridiculous. His own vest was a deep purple and his mother was trying to attack his fur with a damp comb.

“Mama! Leave me be!” He whined. Francine sent her son a warning glare, causing his ears to fall against his head, before continuing. He slumped his shoulders as she smoothed his fur down.

“My dears, if there is one thing we females enjoy, it’s a properly groomed male,” she gave her son and Jack a pointed look.

Their expressions of confusion were matched by some of the other bucks present. Though she smiled as some of the older kits started to fix imaginary creases and triple check their fur. Clapping her paws together, the kits lined up, with Jack and Nick exchanging uncertain glances at each other.

Francine gave them all a look over as they made their way past her to the stairway.

Perfect, she thought. She ran her paws down the front of her own gown, having changed while the kits had been bathing. Now, time to party.

…………………

Bonnie and Stewart stood waiting at the foot of the stairs, ready to greet their guest. Marty and John Wilde stood opposite of them, waiting for their wives to appear with the kits. Which, if the sound of little paw steps was anything to go by, would be any moment now.

The lord and lady beamed up at their well dress brood, each looking the very image of little ladies and gentle males. Francine and Martha allowed their charges to lead the way down the stairs, each wishing to make their husbands pant a bit before joining them.

And pant they did.

Marty had fallen for his Martha the moment they had met. Their romance and marriage was a whirlwind, encouraged by Stewart. Not a day passed that the impala buck regretted his choice in bride. An easy thing to know, considering how the pale green gown she wore was enough to make any sane male weak. His Martha had a twinkle in her eyes as she glanced at the mistletoe attached to his antlers. Marty tipped her a wink.

Francine couldn’t help the blush that formed when John’s eyes met hers. The familiar shiver ran down her spine as she descended the stairs towards her husband. His brown eyes darkened with desire as he watched the sway of his wife’s hips and the easy motions of her tail. Their love had been instant, though reluctant, thanks to her older brother.

Her own dress a deep wine red, laced through the bodice and split down the center to expose layers of white frills. It hugged her curves and made him wish they hadn’t agreed to be present for the party.

Both males stood straighter in the presence of the two beauties. Something the lord and lady noticed. They grinned at each other, before turning their gaze back to their kits. Their sons outfits seemed to be a back drop for the bright colors of their sisters. The little bunnies looked almost like colorful butterflies as they made their way down the stairwell.

Nick, Jack, Skye, and Judy brought up the ends of the line. The males stealing glances at their pretty friends was painfully obvious to the adults who watched the group file into the parlor. As was the blush each kit had whenever they made eye contact.

So CUTE, though Francine and Bonnie.

Ah, should have known, thought John, my son’s a lady killer. Just like his dad.

I swear, Jack’s crush on that vixen is the sweetest thing, thought Marty and Martha.

Bloody fox better keep his bloody paws off my baby doe, thought Stewart.

…………..

An hour later, the party was in full swing. The Ottertons brought their sons, Andrew and Thomas, to the delight of the kits. Andrew, the eldest at ten, danced a surprisingly graceful waltz with every doe who asked. Thomas, nine, joked and laughed with Nick and the Hopps bucks. He even managed to make the normally stoic Jack double over with laughter, to Skye’s great delight.

Essi took over the piano for a time, though another pianist had been hired so she could enjoy the party with her husband and friends. The song her friend wrote was in high demand throughout the party.

Several other families had been invited, including the Bellwethers and Maxillarys. They mercifully declined to join.

And of course, there was mistletoe! Stewart took great pleasure at the couples who found themselves under one of the many boughs. None were refused the expected kiss. And like he predicted, every one of his daughters demanded a kiss from their daddy.

Francine laughed as Matthew and John were approached by several shy little does. Both males would scoop them up and give their cheeks a smooch. Many pairs of ears went pink as they ran away giggling.  

Jack found himself in front the refreshment table. He could smell biscuits and other sweets that rested on it. However, his height prevented him from reaching his goal.

“Shall I?” Came a silky voice. The little hare looked up at a tall she wolf towering over him.

Fur the color of the sun and eyes the color of sea, she was dressed in a lovely silver gown. Her outfit and coloring made Jack think of the angel that graced the top of the Hopps Christmas tree. Slightly dazed, he gave a shy smile and nod.

The she wolf bent gracefully to gather him in her arms. Now able to retrieve his treats, he loaded a plate with the intent on sharing. Jack turned to beam at the wolf, who smiled back. One claw pointed upwards.

Jack glanced up at the mistletoe then back to this mystery wolf, his ears dropping. She smiled again and offered her cheek to him, tapping a spot with her claw. Blushing furiously, he gave her a quick kiss. She laughed in a friendly manner as she set him back down, giving him a kiss on top of his head.

Without another word, she turned and left. Jack waved dazedly after her with his plate sweets clutched in his paw. He turned to find a Hopps doe smiling at him.

“Uh, hi?” He started to back away only to bump into another. One by one, it seemed as though every little doe was lining up to give Jack a kiss.

“I don-“ ..smooch… “really, this isn-“..smooch… “now see he-“ …smooch…

Nick and Judy were laughing hysterically at the scene. Skye crossed her arms and tapped her hind paw. Her stormy expression made her cousin laugh harder.

“Excuse me?” Came a cheerful voice. Judy composed herself enough to look up at Thomas, who was smiling at her. He bent and planted a kiss on her cheek, before turning to Skye and giving her one as well. “You both are standing under it.”

The two females looked dumbstruck at each other as the friendly otter turned to rejoin the party. Nick didn’t laugh at his jokes for the rest of his visit. …………………..  

Just outside the entrance hall, hidden in the shadows, were three figures. A grey timber wolf glanced around the hall, making sure everyone was preoccupied with the party. A tigress was facing a rather nervous looking arctic wolf, straightening out the creases in his red velvet suit.

John did a magnificent job, she thought as she straightened his collar. She gave the hat he wore a slight tug to make sure it was firmly in place.

“Ok! Now, do you know what you’re going to say?” The question caused both wolves to give her incredulous looks.

“Um, I was thinking ‘ho ho ho’?” Devin gave a shrug as Claudia rolled her eyes.

“I mean after that, dumb dumb! You need to think of what you’re going to say to all those little kits in there!”

The arctic wolf’s ears splayed and his tail gave a nervous twitch. He hadn’t thought of anything past ‘ho ho ho’ and now a knot formed in the pit of his stomach. There was going to be a lot of little lives he could easily scar by not getting this right!

Seeing him start to panic, Ian grabbed Devin’s collar and and forced his eyes on him.

“Deep breath, wolf! Just remember: keep your voice happy, always smile, and if you think you’re not going to make it or that you’re floundering, repeat these words,” Ian glanced over his shoulder at Claudia as she leaned around her friend with a grin.

“Mrs. Lilia Howlstein,” they said together. Instantly, a dreamy look crossed Devin’s face.

“Mrs. Lilia Howlstein, Mrs. Lilia Howlstein,” he muttered dreamily.

His comrades tugged him from their spot in the shadows and pushed him towards the party. The wolf walked slight off kilt until he reached the entrance to the parlor. Giving himself a shake, he vanished into the party.

Ian and Claudia listened closely to the loud ‘HO HO HO’ he gave, though the resulting silence was a bit unnerving. The two looked at each other with worried expressions. The music had stopped, the voices and laughter had died down, and from the sounds of it, all dancing had ceased.

They strained their ears and leaned as far from their hiding spot as they could without leaving it.

“SANTA!!!!”

Claudia let out a yowl in surprise, leaping back with her fur on end and her tail flicking in agitation behind her. It was by pure luck that she caught Ian. The poor wolf’s more sensitive hearing magnified the excited shouts, causing him to leap to an impressive height.

Both gasped as the shock wore off. Still being held by his cabin mate, the wolf casted his eyes upward.

“Hey, look!” He gave a cheerful grin and pointed upwards. The tigress frowned as she raised her eyes. “Mistletoe!”

Amber eyes snapped back down and Ian was unceremoniously dropped.

“Try to kiss me and you’re sleeping outside.”

She turned on her heel and stomped away to do her patrol. Ian gulped before getting to his feet and following.

“That’s fair.” ……………….

“HO HO HO!”

The music stopped. Those that had been dancing had paused to look over at the entrance. Mammals with mouths full of food let their jaws drop open. Fortunately for them, everyone else was too distracted to notice.

Devin held his smile, though it was becoming a bit more strained by the unnerving silence of the room. Especially considering the reactions of the kits in the party. One by one, little figures pulled away from the crowd, walking with wide eyes toward the red suited wolf.

The wolf felt his smile drop slightly as he became surrounded by tiny, little bunnies, the two foxes, and the Otterton brothers. As a group, every little muzzle broke into a grin and a collective shout echoed through the party.

“SANTA!!”

One moment he was standing, arms spread, looking at a sea of little kits. The next, he was tackled to the ground. They sat on his chest, chattering excitedly to him about their Christmas lists, asking questions about the elves waiting for him at the North Pole, and demanding to know why he preferred biscuits over other treats.

Trying to remain calm, with ‘Mrs. Lilia Howlstein’ repeating in his mind, Devin managed to sit up. Skye was sitting on one knee with Judy’s litter mate, Quentin, on the other. The bunnies on his chest toppled gently into his large paws as he lowered them to the floor.

“Now, now!” He deepened his voice, a forced his smile back into place. “Santa wanted to drop in to wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

The resulting claps he earned and the happy cries of delight had his smile flip from strained to genuine.

It really doesn’t take much to make these little mammals happy, does it, he thought.

But as his eyes moved from one face to another, it eventually landed on the only kit who hadn’t tackled him: Jack. Blue eyes were wide like the others, but suspicious. The hare tilted his head to the side and studied the wolf in the Santa suit.

Devin’s eyes softened as they met Jack’s. He very gently picked himself up from the floor, careful not to step on any of the others. The adults of the room were murmuring among themselves. The Bogos smiled and turned back to the pianist. Essi gave the instrument a light tap and the deer buck resumed his music.

Bonnie and Stewart gave each other speculative glances, each thinking the other was responsible for Santa. Francine and John stood next to them. The vixen sipped her hot cider and smiled over the rim of her cup.

“So that’s what you have been up to,” she said not taking her eyes off the wolf.

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re taking about.” John ignored the surprised looked of the lord and lady, merely smiling smugly as he admired his work.

“My love, I recognize your stitches anywhere. I must say, this may be your best suit yet!” The todd put his arm around his wife’s waist and pulled her close. “A shame we are not standing under mistletoe, Mr.Wilde.”

“Ahem!”

Both foxes and Bonnie looked to the lord. He too kept his gaze on Santa, but he pointed to the ceiling with a satisfied smile. The Wildes looked up and gave happy sighs.

“Well what do you know?” Said John. ……….

Devin carefully made his way to the little hare still eyeing him suspiciously. With his pale fur, dark stripes framing his face, and ice blue eyes, Jack easily stood out from the Hopps brood. But the wolf had never actually seen him, let alone spoke to him. He stepped close and crouched down on one knee.

Jack took one giant step back.

The wolf held back a sigh and he smiled down at the hare. “I’m guessing you’re Jack?”

A nod was the only response. “And you are having problems believing in me.”

It wasn’t a question and he kept his voice soft. Jack wrinkled his brow at him.

“It doesn’t seem possible,” he said, studying the wolf’s face.

He stepped closer and extended a paw out to touch his muzzle. Devin smiled and let the young hare examine his face. He was taken by surprised when Jack jumped into his arms, earning a collective aww from the adults watching. The wolf gave him an awkward pat on the back and looked up, meeting the eyes of the beautiful, sun colored she wolf.

Mrs. Lilia Howlstein, he thought, as they exchanged coy smiles at each other.

“Thanks for trying, Mr. Security Wolf,” whispered Jack. Devin pulled back and gave the hare a speculative look. He returned it with slightly sad eyes. “I saw you when I peaked over my barrel when I first came here. I was just trying to figure out why you looked familiar.”

Jack hopped down and stepped back, heaving a sigh as the two looked at each other.

“But, don’t worry. I can keep a secret.”

A tugging at his sleeve drew the wolf’s gaze to Nick, who was beaming at him. The todd had one paw trapped by both of Judy’s as she bounced in place with excitement.

“I told you, Carrots! He’s here and he came to say Merry Christmas!”

“You were right, Slick! I shall never doubt again!” Judy and Nick were scooped up into a hug by the Devin, both laughing happily as he did so.

Skye rushed to her friend and wrapped him up in her arms. The hare couldn’t help but laugh as the vixen spun him around the room, squealing in excitement.

“It’s Santa, Jack! Santa has come!”

The hare met the wolf’s eyes one more time. Both smiled over the shoulders of their friends.

“Yes, he did, Skye. How about that.” ………………..

The party ended all too soon. Sleepy kits were lead upstairs to their beds. Bonnie and Stewart halted the attempts of their staff trying to help. They insisted they take the rest of the evening off as well as the following morning.

The Wildes and Frosts rounded up Nick, Skye, and Jack. The three were piled in layers for the short walk back to the cabin. Skye giggled at Jack, who had been so bundled up he couldn’t walk, only waddle. Matthew laughed at the sight of him, too, before scooping him up into his arms.

The group bid a good night to the bunnies climbing up the stairs. They were almost to the study when the pitter patter of little paws caught their attention.

“Nick!” The young todd turned to see Judy running towards him.

She came to a pause in front of her friend, who looked at her curiously. She glanced over his shoulder at Skye and the adults who watched the pair. One deep breath later and her muzzle shot up to plant a kiss on his nose. His green eyes widened as Judy settled back down with her ears and cheeks pinker than normal.

“Night, Nick!”

And with that, she turned and ran back towards the stairs and out of sight. Nick stood with his mouth open and paw on the spot where she had kissed him. The grown ups laughed with Skye and Jack, before John stepped forward to pick up his stunned son.

Yep, he thought, just like his dad. …………………

Mrs. Meadows gave a final look around her kitchen. Everything was ready for tomorrow: the breads and rolls lay resting on their trays, ready to be baked, a large vat of carrot stew set out to lightly simmer overnight on the stove, casseroles of winter vegetables sat waiting for the oven, and, of course, there were biscuits.

Sugar, cinnamon, molasses, oatmeal, ginger, and shortbread. A sampling of each had been set onto a plate with a glass of milk bedside it on the small table in the parlor. ‘Santa’ had left the party, explaining his need to drop off present to the other young ones in Bunnyburrow. He promised to return after all the kits had all gone to bed.

Though, now, Devin sat on a stool in the kitchen. The elder rabbit doe placed a tray of biscuits in front of him. Along with a glass of whiskey. He smiled his thanks at the bunny, who regarded him with curiosity.

“Hmmm, I would have thought being surrounded by so many happy kits would have put you in a better mood,” she said. The wolf sighed and smiled half heartedly.

“It was fun. I’m not in a bad mood. I was just hoping…..” he shook his head, “I don’t know. The older bunnies are nearly eleven? And they were convinced I was the real Santa. Why didn’t Jack believe it?”

Mrs. Meadows shrugged and watched him sip his whiskey and break off pieces of biscuit.

“It’s just him growing up,” she responded sadly. “They all will eventually stop believing. Jack is the hare, yes?” He nodded. “Hares are an oddity among lapins. And, from what I’ve heard, he wasn’t much of child to start with. There’s nothing for him in a story like that. But you said he didn’t ruin it for the others and he managed to keep his friends from being dragged down.”

“He’s a good lad,” said Devin.

“And so are you.”

The wolf nearly fell off his seat at the sound of the new voice. He turned to see the lovely she wolf walking towards him, the low light of the kitchen making her bright fur glow. She smiled softly at him as he straightened himself out. Neither noticed Mrs.Meadows as she snuck out of the room, a knowing smile on her muzzle.

“You know, I had been ho ho hoping to steal a dance from Santa before he left the party,” she stepped close and put a delicate paw on his shoulder, “but I can settle for one right now, if he’ll have me.”

Devin felt his heart stop as she put his paw on her waist. He gathered the nerve to pull her close into a light sway. She smiled at him before resting her head against his chest and closing her eyes.

Now or never, wolf, he thought.

“May I court you?” He whispered. She smiled and looked up at him.

“Only if you promise to be Santa every Christmas.” He laughed and nodded. “Then, yes. You may.” She rested her head against his chest again, letting the steady rhythm of their hearts be the music they danced to.

Mrs. Lilia Howlstein, was his final thought of the night.

……………

The Wilde’s cabin was dark. It was also warm, snug, and very quiet. The three little kits had been utterly exhausted after their long day. After all, they stayed up many hours past their normal bedtime. Vivian and Francine had helped them dress for bed while John and Matthew covertly grabbed what they need to decorate the cabin.

The adults had long since finished. Skye lay fast asleep in-between her mother and father, the three of them smiling as they dreamt and cuddled each other. John and Francine lay unclothed under their bed covers, fast asleep and satisfied. Nick lay on one side of his bed, his tail pulled into his arms, his little snores making a dent in the still night.

Jack, however, had not been asleep for long when his eyes suddenly snapped open. His sensitive ears didn’t pick up any noise, other then his friend’s quiet snoring. But the hare found it impossible to fall back to sleep. With a small sigh, he sat up and climbed down from the bed.

The cold wood of the floor only woke him further as he tip toed to the bedroom door and opened it. It was short distance from there to the front door, which he braved in the dark, gathering a heavy blanket from the settee and a scarf as he did.

As quietly as he could, he jumped for the latch and slipped outside.

The clouds from earlier had left, leaving the sky dazzlingly clear. It’s darkness penetrated by a white quarter moon, with the stars scattered across the heavens in a beauty no jewel could ever match. The snow around the little hare, while cold under paw, gave him more peace than he felt all day.

Jack sat and lifted his face to the sky, breathing in the fresh winter air. It smelled of the hearths from the homes he was surrounded by. A hint of pine and maple, from the trees not far from him. With the residual smell of baked treats. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, committing them to memory.

Fireplace, pine, maple, sweets…… and hot chocolate…. His brow wrinkled….peppermint…. He lowered his head in confusion…..cinnamon…hellebores…evergreen…….

His eyes snapped open. Jack took a steadying breath as he registered the presence of another sitting next to him. A big another, too. With a gulp he glanced to his right. And gazed up…up…up…..

Bright blues became saucers as he stared at the white caribou sitting next to him. With a smile on his muzzle, the newcomer’s face was angled up at the sky as Jack’s had been. He too inhaled deeply, with great satisfaction. Jack took in the red suit he wore, this one a thick chenille and made even more finely than John’s.

A red stocking cap was held in his hoof, though Jack did wonder how it fit with antlers as big as his.

The caribou inhaled deeply once more and opened his eyes.

“If there is ever a smell I could never tire of,” he began, “it is the smell of that first minute of Christmas morning.”

His voice was both deep and light. Jack had seen his lips move, but he felt the words rather than heard them. The little hare’s ears were dropped against his back as the caribou turned his eyes towards him. And such eyes he had.

Jack had read everything he could about Santa. And he had always pictured him with blue eyes like his own. And he supposed that’s what color they were. But it was like saying the night sky was black and the snow was white. That was true, but their colors were so much more complex than that.

This blue held every season in it: the blueish white of fresh snow, the clean blue of spring rain, the endless blue of a summer sky, and the grey blue of autumn’s first fog. They were a blue that held eternity within them, an eternity wisely spent.

The caribou reached into his pocket and pulled out a beautifully wrapped little box. He gave the present a happy smile and handed it to Jack. His eyes wide and jaw still dropped further than it should be, he accepted it with trembling paws. He stared at the lovely little package, running a thumb over its ribbon, tempted to tear into it while also never wishing to disturb whatever it held.

“Merry Christmas, Jack,” he heard the voice whisper, “now get inside before you catch your death.”

Still staring at the gift, Jack felt his muzzle break into a smile. His head shot up to give his thanks. Only to find himself alone. He bolted upright, blanket left in the snow, frowning at where the caribou had just been sitting. Jack lifted his muzzle and closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. Fireplace, pine, maple, sweets.

His eyes opened as the front door did.

“Jack!” Came John’s voice, a rough whisper so he didn’t disturb those still sleeping. The todd’s paw steps brought Jack’s attention to him as he was approached. The fox was wrapped in his dressing gown and exasperated, but still smiled kindly down at him. “You shall catch your death out here, little friend! Come along, lad!”

John took his paw and bent to grab the blanket. Gently pulling the little hare along, he gave a glance at the gift in his paws. “Where did you get that?”

They reached the doorway as the question was asked. Jack pulled to a stop before passing through, glancing back at where he and the caribou had sat. A slight breeze picked up, the scent of evergreen, peppermint, hot chocolate, cinnamon, and hellebore traveling with it.

“Santa gave it to me,” he said, his eyes still looking out the door. John tilted his head in confusion, the hare’s innocent blue eyes looking up into his own. The todd smiled finally and pulled Jack into the warm cabin.

He was put back into bed, back next to Nick, who still snored quietly and cuddled his tail. John pulled the covers over him and stroked the fur between his ears as sleep took hold of the little kit once more. Giving both a soft kiss of the head, John crept back to his own room and bed.

The present still clutched in his paws, Jack had never slept deeper or more soundly. And with a smile on his little face.   ……………..  

A/N: Some of Judy’s language I based off of myself when I was her age. I knew what I wanted to say, but couldn’t say or remember it correctly, a fact my mother still teases me about. I try to have the other characters translate when they can, but they can only do so much.

        amindge*- Judy speak for avenge

         organal*- Judy speak for organized

If anyone is curious, Nick will rarely ask for clarification, if only because he is a natural at speaking Judy. And vice versa.  

[mewgagotoku]

Tags/Verses Masterpost!

Figured I should probably make one of these to keep track.

Yakuza-series independent RP blog; open and welcoming to AU, multi-fandom and OCs.  Expect canon-typical violence and dark metaphor; NSFW/explicit content will always be tagged. [THIS POST IS A WORK IN PROGRESS, EXPECT UPDATES ~ posting it now before it gets any longer...]

ME

Robz, 21+; RPed for a long damn time; friendly, but shy.  I write, draw and sing - or at least make motions to that effect. 日本語で書いてことできるんだけど恥ずかしいから英語のほうがいいんです。よろしくお願いします。Interests include: music, video games, horror.  Ask for my Discord ID, and lets plot shenanigans!

CHARACTERS

[Majima Goro] [Goromi] 真島吾朗 ~ The Mad Dog of Shimano/The Lord of the Night; Sharp as a blade and stabby to boot, Majima is a yakuza through and through - unpredictable, violent and just a bit smarter than he lets on.

[Makimura Makoto] マキムラマコト ~ Not All Who Wander Are Lost; A young woman caught up in a world of darkness she could never hope to fully understand.  Makoto is determined and independent, and perhaps just a little reckless. (Somewhat canon-divergent after Yakuza 0 - rather than returning to Hogushi Kaikan, Makoto instead begins working with charities focused on helping human trafficking victims and other vulnerable members of society. She won’t sit around and wait for a hero any longer, instead, she wants to become her own.)

[Oda Jun] 尾田純 ~ Tachibana Real Estate’s Lap Dog; Unrepentant and proud, Oda knows his place in the world because he carved it for himself.  He won’t let anybody stand in his way.

[Dojima Daigo] - Testing~

[Hana] 菊川花~ Sky Finance’s Backbone; Hana sometimes wonders why she bothers coming to work in the morning, but it’s a good job she always does.

[Akamine Tenji]  赤嶺典二「天使」~ OC; a host originally from Gifu who has no idea what he’s about to get himself into. Polite, gregarious and kind, his sweetness hides an ambition for greatness that he will pursue to the end of the earth. (FC: Mizushima Hiro) Tenji now has his own blog over at @hachidorinoko​​ with both Yakuza and Persona 5 verses!

[Hayashi Bara] 林薔薇 ~ OC; daughter of Hayashi Hiroshi, Bara is something of a tearaway punk trying to find her place in the world. Rude and obnoxious, she is in truth as vulnerable as she appears, though she’ll go to any lengths to hide that. (FC: Tsuchiya Anna) Bara now has her own blog over at @splinteredthorn !

[Futaba Sakura] 佐倉双葉 ~ Persona 5. Not active on this blog, but she has her own sub-blog at @hikikohacker

Hit me up, who knows what’s next.........

RULES

Setting these up as I go along, so forgive me if they’re a bit lax...

DBAA ~ Don’t Be An Asshole; plain and simple!

No minors, please; I keep my NSFW stuff tagged, so it can be avoided if you’d rather not read it, but I will not generally place it under cuts and nor do I wish to feel as if I should.  Absolutely no smut with minors, no exceptions.

We don’t have to be mutuals to interact! We don’t even have to be from the same series/universe/whatever.  If you wanna RP, just hit me up and we’ll figure something out!

If you’re not sure about something, ASK ME! I don’t bite, and I certainly don’t want to cause confusion or frustration with anything I’ve written.  You can message me through tumblr, or ask for my Discord so we can talk things through.

I WRITE A LOT -- I like big paragraphs and I cannot lie... don’t feel like you have to keep up with me! I’d prefer a reply which is short and to the point than to feel like you’re stressing over matching my waffle.

I may unfollow RP blogs which post a lot of OOC/irrelevant content. This doesn’t mean I don’t like you or don’t want to RP with you, it just clogs up my dash and I don’t really like it. Drop me a message if you have any questions, but I can guarantee it’s nothing against you personally! Your blog, your rules -- you do you!

VERSES (in no particular order)

ALLEGORY (verse) - Oda/Tachibana; set shortly before and during Yakuza 0 (iloveoda-san)

[Colder Heavens] - In which the heating in the penthouse gives up the ghost during a snowfall. [NSFW]

[Bad Dog] - Unaware of his surroundings, Oda disrupts a very important meeting. [NSFW]

[Lacryma Christi] [2] - Oda unwittingly catches Tachibana in a vulnerable moment.

[imagining noises] [2] -~ During Tachibana’s forced exile, Oda finds himself alone and invisible.

DOG TEETH  (verse)  Kiryu/Majima; various. (fourthchairman)

[uroboros] [2] (the snake which bites its own tail) - Majima has been trying to wrench Kiryu and Makoto apart for too long - Kiryu has finally had enough. [NSFW]

[Love on the Brain] [2] ~ Majima/Kiryu - Absence makes the heart grow fonder... and more obscene. [NSFW] 

[All I Want Is You] [2] - WHOOPS. Majima makes the kind of mistake he can’t just sweep under the rug.

[Road Trip] [2] - Following on from All I Want Is You, Kiryu and Majima take a road trip down toward Okinawa... [NSFW]

A PALACE FROM RUIN (verse) - Nishikiyama and Makoto; post Yakuza 0 (iheartkiryu)

[Blossoms] [2] - Looking for flowers to brighten up her apartment, Makoto runs into an acquaintance, and finds an unexpected new friend.

[Debts Unpaid] [2] - Hunting after the one-eyed man whose name she knows not, Makoto falls afoul of the Shimano Family who don’t take kindly to curiosity.

[Hare Among Foxes] [2] - Determined to save other vulnerable girls from her own cruel fate, Makoto sets out to take on the underworld.  Caught in a little white lie, she runs into an unexpected obstacle.

[Confessions] - Nishikiyama meets with Majima on Makoto’s behalf to arrange a meeting between the two of them.

[Antidote to Heartache] - Deciding to get out of the city for a bit, Makoto and Nishikiyama take a drive out to Sunshine Orphanage.

AFTER THE RAIN (verse) - Majima/Nishikiyama; Post Yakuza 1 AU. (fishikiyama)

[IDGAF] (In Despair, Grief, And Fury) - Six months in hospital have changed more than just Nishiki’s appearance.   Still hurting from being left behind, Majima rises to the occasion.

[序盤] (joban; opener e,g in Shogi or Go) - Fortunately for Nishiki, banging a shogi board is complicated. [NSFW]

POETRY AND DEATH (verse) - Oda and Tachibana; set during the two years before Y0 (iloveoda-san)

[Poetry and Death] [2] - After a fight with a rival gang, Tachibana is shot, and Oda must fight to keep him alive.

[Marble] [2] ~ An intimate, drunken decision. [NSFW]

[Let it Burn] ~ Oda finds himself trapped inside a residential building when the Cornflowers decide to pre-rempt some revenge against his crew.

YOU KNOW BETTER (verse) Majima/Makoto; Post Yakuza 0 (italian-love-cake)

[Switches Never Flicked] - Majima and Makoto ~ A fire on Pink Street lands Makoto in unknown peril.

[Don’t Feed It, It Will Come Back] - Majima/Makoto ~ Despite his better judgement, Majima can’t bear to leave Makoto alone.

[Tastes Like Chicken] - Majima/Makoto ~ Majima meets Makoto after work to take her on a date.

WHISKY AND GIN (verse) - Majima/Nishitani; Yakuza 0 (dreamoffuchsia)

[Pushing Buttons] - Majima/Nishitani ~ Eatin’ some sushi, downin’ some drinks, smashin’ some faces... the usual. [NSFW content]

[Soaked] - Majima/Nishitani ~ Majima and Nishitani raid a group of loan sharks who have been preying on hostesses. Guns are dangerous. [NSFW content] [tw: drugs]

[Penance] - Majima/Nishitani ~ Alternate ending for Soaked. The tongues of dead men sing songs. [NSFW content] [tw: drugs]

[Smokin’] [2] - Majima/Nishitani ~ Where’ve you been all my life? Or at least for the last week. [NSFW]

[Foam Party!!!] ~ Majima/Nishitani - Do not leave Majima unattended anywhere ever, under any circumstances.

[Promises] - Majima/Nishitani ~ What’s that?! A wedding proposal?! [NSFW content]

[Boa Constrictor] - Goromi/Nishitani ~ Be careful what you wish for... [NSFW]

[MyMail] - After a New Years Day spent winding one another up via text, Majima comes home to find Nishitani has made some very particular plans for their time... [NSFW]

[Amour] - Nishitani has commissioned a very special gift for Majima. Would be a shame not to make use of it. [NSFW content]

[Puppy Love] - It’s Valentines Day, and the only logical gift for the man who has everything is... a puppy??

[Til Death Do Us Part] - Nishitani gets some bad news from the hospital. They’ve clawed their way through everything so far, but could this finally tear them apart?

JUNIPER AND VANILLA (verse) - Majima/Nishitani; Yakuza 0 (dreamoffuchsia)

[Anniversary of a Dead Man] - Majima/Nishitani ~ Nishitani struggles with a debt he can’t ever repay.

[Guilty Party] - Majima/Nishitani ~ When Nishitani calls him away from work, Majima understands that this is more than just a social call. [tw: suicide mentions]

[Demon Days] - Majima/Nishitani ~ After Nishitani’s death, he’s the last person Majima expects to bump into. [tw: suicide mentions]

[Modern Leper] - Some twenty-five or thirty years after Nishitani’s death, Majima wakes in the night to the unmistakable feeling that he and Saejima aren’t alone. [tw: suicide mentions]

SHE’S A MYSTERY (verse) - Majima and Owl Eyes O’Malley; various (rileysroleplayreservoir)

[睡蓮花] [2] (suirenka; water lily) - Majima and Owl Eyes O’Malley; set somewhere between 1995-2005.

[危険な水] (kikenna mizu; dangerous water) - Majima and Owl Eyes O’Malley; While searching for a golden macguffin - in this case, a watch - Majima find some interesting flotsam around the concrete edges of Tokyo Bay,

[Angry Birds] - Swooping in to pull Riley out of a fight he believes she can’t handle, Majima learns a thing or two.

[Hungry Eyes] - Fortunately for the Majima family, Riley is on hand to feed their boss before he eats them.

[Hellooo Nurse] - Halloween costume shopping.

[Smores] - Settin’ fires and eatin’ candy.

[Shoulder Rubs] - “My back’s always kinky, how about yours?”

[Petals] - Riley runs into a rather concussed Goromi. Like always, trouble sticks to the two of them like a magnet.

[Bellyaching and Babysitting] - With a broken wrist, Majima is more snappy than ever.

[Call of the Cicada] - When a former detective goes feral, somehow it falls to Majima and Riley to figure out what the hell went wrong.

[One Thought Too Many] - Too much to drink and too much to say about it.

UNCLE STABBY (verse) ~ Majima and Haruka; various (0tometal)

[Pumpkins] - Two kids (one significantly older) carving pumpkins for Halloween while Kiryu is away.

[Bonito] - Majima and Haruka ~ If uncle Majima knew anything about cooking, he’d be dangerous.  He’s dangerous enough anyway.

[Jingle Bells] - Majima enlists Haruka’s help to decorate an enormous Christmas Tree at Kamurocho Hills

[Games Night] - Looking after Haruka for a night, Majima can’t seem to understand the appeal of Katamari Damacy when he can’t find the button to punch the King of all Cosmos in his huge grey face.

[Only Revolutions] - TBA

THE TRUE FOURTH CHAIRMAN (verse) ~ 2018; AU in which Kiryu retains the mantle of the Fourth Chairman (fourthchairman)

[In Clover] - Kiryu/Tenji; Fourth Chairman AU ~ When Tenji is at the very end of his luck, a chance meeting with the Tojo Clan’s legendary Fourth Chairman stands to change his life forever.

[The Jealous Boy] - Kiryu/Tenji ~ Try as he might, Tenji just can’t help being jealous of the men to whom Kiryu so generously gifts his time.

NO MAN IS AN ISLAND (verse) ~ Majima and Saejima (eighteencounts)

[Never Forgotten] - (post-Y4) The two blood brothers try to find footing with one another after twenty-five years apart.

[It Ain't on the Surface] - Majima/Saejima - Majima plans a date night at the top of Kamurocho Hills.

[Garnet] - When Majima is jumped and badly injured, there’s only one safe place he can go.

WALK TALL (verse) ~ Majima/Nishitani (trans) (dreamoffuchsia)

[Secret] - Nishitani has a secret that Majima is about to find out... will it change them forever? [NSFW content]

[Yes Sir] - Hard at work in the Majima Family offices... or not. [NSFW]

[Shameless] - Majima brings Nishitani and Saejima together in the bedroom. Best. Birthday. Ever. [NSFW]

TWO WRONGS MAKE A FIGHT (verse) - Majima/Kiryu; so many years unrequited, and Majima can’t take a minute longer. (fourthchairman)

[Drunk In Love] - Majima slips a little something into Kiryu’s drink to finally take what he’s wanted all these years... [NSFW] [tw: dub con]

[The Abduction] - Kiryu’s revenge. [NSFW] [tw:dub con]

SHE BRINGS THE MORNING SUN (verse) - Majima and Yuki (vineqar)

[Dondondondondonki] [2] - Majima and Yuki; Yakuza 0.  Something very strange is going on in Club Sunshine, and it’s up to the dynamic duo to resolve it before opening - or tear each other apart in the process.

[Lose the Light] - Majima and Yuki; Yakuza 0 ~ Though seemingly unrelated, when Youda goes missing, Majima finds the weight of the world closing in around him.

[Sotenbori’s Finest Fashions] - Majima and Yuki; Yakuza 0 ~ tba

SNAKE’S NEST (verse) - Goromi and Nishitani; Yakuza 0 (dreamoffuchsia)

[Rattlesnake] - Goromi/Nishitani - Goromi is an A-List Queen strutting her stuff in the underground of Sotenbori.  Is the Viper Vixen about to meet her match? [NSFW content]

[Cobra Queen] - Goromi/Nishitani - TBA [NSFW content]

FRIENDS WITH FINANCIAL BENEFITS (verse) - Majima and Akiyama; post Yakuza 4 (criminaldelights)

[Ninety-Nine Bottles of Gold Label] Majima and Akiyama ~ Drunk as a skunk, having lost his wallet somewhere along the way, Majima hopes to get a bit of help from a friend with a bit more liquid capital.

[Bad Parenting] - Majima finds an abandoned puppy and tries to give it to Hana to look after.

[爆発] (bakuhatsu; explosion) - Majima and Akiyama; While Majima is showing Akiyama around Kamurocho Hills, an explosion threatens both of their lives.

[Mad Dog Allergy] - Majima and Akiyama

[Clingy] - Majima/Akiyama ~ Majima doesn't want Akiyama to go.

[NSFW-ish] - Majima/Akiyama

[Fugitive Motel] - Majima/Akiyama [NSFW]

[Endangered Mousse] - Majima and Akiyama

THERE IN A HEARTBEAT (verse) - Makoto and Majima; post Yakuza 0 (criminaldelights)

[Laurel Wreath] Majima/Makoto ~ Almost a year after the events surrounding the Empty Lot, Majima sets out to find Makoto and see her one last time.

[Lady and the Tramp] - Makoto/Majima ~ Majima attempts to buy Makoto a puppy to keep her company. Trouble is, they're all too cute...

[Linked] - Makoto/Majima - Majima's last day in Sotenbori with Makoto.

??? (verse) - Majima and Saejima; various. (criminaldelights)

[Lord of the Cats] - Saejima smuggles a kitten into a restaurant.

[Absolution] - Guilt, blame and forgiveness cannot be extricated from one another.

[Mad Pup and Bear Cub] (pre Y0 verse) Majima makes an important confession.. and then tries to act like he didn't.

PLAY NICE (verse) - Goromi and Nishitani; Yakuza 0 (dreamoffuchsia)

[Well-Mannered] - Nishitani has been visiting Goromi for a while now at Sagawa’s request.  Despite their initial nerves around one another, the two are beginning to form a connection.

NOTICE ME, SENSEI (verse) - Majima and Saejima; Elementary School Teacher AU

[Dirty Deeds] - TBA

[City Lights] ~ Kiryu and Makoto; post Yakuza 0.

[大理石龍] [2] (dairisekiryuu; marble dragon) ~ Kiryu/Makoto.  An intimate moment. [NSFW]

[弱虫毛虫] [2] (yowamushi kemushi; cowardly caterpillar) - Nishikiyama and Majima; Yakuza Kiwami ~ In the process of recruiting, Majima falls afoul of the Nishikiyama family.

[What if...?] [2] ~ Tachibana and Makoto;  Post Yakuza 0 AU ~ What if things had turned out differently...? [here be spoilers]

[Takoyaki] [2] ~ Majima and Makoto; Yakuza 0 ~ During Makoto’s stay in Odyssey’s warehouse..

[Billion Yen Opportunity] [2] ~ Majima and Ammy Highwind; Yakuza 0 ~ A real estate agent approaches Majima while the world falls to pieces around him.  She seeks only one thing... [here be spoilers]

[King Among Fools] - Majima and Tamaki [Ouran HC]; Yakuza Kiwami ~ Majima is out to stir some trouble, and rescues a young host with such conviction, he doesn’t need rescue at all.

[石橋の仕掛け] [2] (Ishibashi no shikake; Ishibashi’s Gambit) - Majima and Tamotsu ~ Majima is given the task of delivering some documents to an unknown contact - it becomes quickly apparent that there is more to this than meets the eye.

[Beat It] [2] - Tachibana and Oda; pre Yakuza 0 AU ~ There is not a more feared officer on the beat than Tachibana...

[Skymail] [2] - drunk texts(?) from yakooziez

[Stray] - Majima/Makoto; post Yakuza 0 ~ Handing out leaflets for an animal shelter in Kamurocho, Makoto catches sight of the man she’s been searching for all this time.

[Silver and Gold] - Majima/Kiryu; Yakuza 0 ~ A Masquerade ball at The Grand

[Little Lost Rabbit] - Tachibana and Makoto, pre Yakuza 0; 6-year-old Makoto learns to deal (or not deal) with some school bullies.

[Rude Awakening] - Majima and Nishikiyama; After the supposed suicide of an important businessman, Majima grabs Nishiki to find his missing daughter, Aiko.

[Night and Day] - Makoto and Majima; Yakuza 0 ~ Whilst hiding out in a warehouse in Sotenbori, Makoto and Majima’s hiding place is stumbled upon by some unwelcome visitors.

[Vogue] - Makoto and Majima; post-Yakuza 0 ~ The girls head to an onsen to relax and find some time to chat and be themselves.

[Thorns] - Hayashi and Nishitani; Dead Souls ~ Realising her father is trapped inside the quarantine zone, Bara will stop at nothing to get inside and try to save him.

[Ten by Ten] Majima and Kiryu; Kiwami ~ Majima is far too proud of his increasingly honed ability to goad Kiryu into a fight, no matter the cost to his bones.

[Wake] Majima and Daigo ~ Attending a funeral for Mosugi of Yokohama’s Yamanobu Family, Majima uncovers hints of a plot.

[Secure] Makoto and Kiryu ~ TBA

[Emergency Contact] Majima and Tamotsu - TBA

[おしりかじり虫] (oshirikajiri mushi; bottom-biting bug) - In which Majiima is definitely not jealous of Daigo’s new friend.

[Break a Leg] - Majima and Shinada ~ Majima is tasked with keeping an eye on an injured Shinada while he recovers.

[Favours] - Majima/Daigo ~ A stolen kiss to save the chairman from a terribly dull fate.

[Asphyxiating Artist] - Majima and Tamotsu ~ Majima finds a rather handsome sketch of himself on the floor after a meeting. Somebody’s in trouble...

[Delayed Reaction] - Majima and Tamotsu ~ When a street fight goes wrong, Majima ends up more injured than he would care to admit.

[Last Wishes] Majima/Akiyama ~ Majima knows he hasn’t much longer left to live, but he has an important message to pass on, and Akiyama is the only person he can trust to do so.

[With All Your Faults And All] Majima and Makoto ~ Odyssey’s warehouse, an open door where secrets hinge.

[裏玉ご注意ほう！] (uratama gochuuihou; watch out for balls) Majima and Nishida - The tragic demise of one very greedy raccoon.

[How To Train A Hostess] - Majima and Sagawa ~ TBA

[Short Leash] - Majima and Nishida ~ TBA

[Clever Girl] - TBA

THE MAGNIFICENT

[iloveoda-san] Tachibana Tetsu @iloveoda-san

[majimaoneeyedfool] Majima Goro @majimaoneeyedfool

[fishikiyama] Nishikiyama Akira @fishikiyama

[fourthchairman] Kiryu Kazuma @fourthchairman

[iheartkiryu] Nishikiyama Akira @iheartkiryu

[vineqar] Yuki (Hostess) @vineqar

[yakuzaoflove] [kingofkamuro] Tamotsu Shimizu/Mamoru Azumi @kingofkamuro

[ammy-highwind] Ammy Highwind @ammy-highwind

[justsomedaddythings] Suoh Tamaki @justsomedaddythings

[rileysroleplayreservoir] Riley “Owl Eyes” O’Malley @rileysroleplayreservoir

[italian-love-cake] Makimura Makoto @italian-love-cake

[mmajimagoro] Majima Goro @mmajimagoro

[0tometal] Sawamura Haruka @0tometal

[dreamoffuchsia] Nishitani Homare @dreamoffuchsia

[snxkehips] Majima Goroko (genderswap) @snxkehips

[eighteencounts] Saejima Taiga @eighteencounts

[draconic-fury] Kiryu Kazuma @draconic-fury

[okunokanosei] / [criminaldelights] Akiyama Shun @criminaldelights

[criminaldelights] Majima Goro

[brassbounded] Dojima Daigo @brassbounded

[dxjima] [dojima-ryuu] Dojima Daigo @dxjima

[shofukucho] Makimura Makoto @shofukucho

[nishidawho] Nishida @nishidawho

[sagawawho] Sagawa Tsukasa @sagawawho

MISC TAGS

[open rp] (archive)

[wishlist] - a list of scenarios and AUs that I would love to RP in!

[ooc] (archive)

[inbox call]

[art] (archive)

[my art] (archive)

[meme] (archive)

[ask] (archive)

[answered]

[tagged]

[headcanons]

[nsfw] [bdsm] ~ filter these tags if you’d rather not see it! All explicit content should be tagged under this; please let me know if I’ve missed anything.

Trigger warnings: [tw: death] [tw: knifeplay] [tw: dub con] [tw: drugs] [tw: suicide mention]

Asks are always open!! Drop me a line with a question, a message, a plot, a prompt, a starter -- everything is welcome!

[ohsweetflips]

hawk in the raven nest, chapter twenty-three

chapter summary: okay so you know that song that goes "oh shit,,,,,,,,,, oH SHIT" ??? yeah

tw(s): nsfw ahead

read on ao3

previous chapter

chapter list

Nathaniel wasn’t worried for the Foxes. While the Ravens had lost two of their best players, causing a need for athletes out of the Perfect Court to step into Kevin and Jean’s place, the Foxes had a national champion and worked using Raven drills and tactics. By the time January rolled around, the Foxes had their place secured in the spring championships and were on their way to being in the death matches. With Kevin on their line and Nathaniel and Andrew motivating the Foxes from the outside, the Foxes increased their point gaps and wins.

The Ravens remained on top while the Foxes worked from the ground up. It was much easier to remain on top than to start from nothing; Nathaniel’s confidence in the Foxes was growing sturdier and sturdier.

The orange grew less obnoxious each time Nathaniel saw it on their TVs in the lounge.

What added glitter to gold, though, wasn't just the Foxes wins or knowing that Jean was in a better place; it was what happened on February 17th. Lord Kengo Moriyama was a powerful man with a tendency for violence and murder. He was the one who called Nathan Wesninski to his side to be The Butcher, the executioner for the Moriyamas. Lord Kengo was the man who was going to have Nathaniel killed because he didn't believe his lackeys’ positions should be passed down through family. The only reason Nathaniel was still alive today was because he proved he was good enough at Exy to be a Raven.

Lord Kengo Moriyama was also an old man, and with his age came sickness. Over the course of almost three months, more and more people who worked for the Moriyamas came into Evermore to discuss the depletion of their Lord’s health. They had to figure out what would happen when he finally died and his first son Ichirou took the family business.

On February 15th, that day finally came. February 17th was the funeral, and while Kengo’s brother Tetsuji was attending, his second and abandoned son Riko didn’t even receive an invite from his older brother. Nathaniel, being one of the many who hated Riko Moriyama along with his family, felt no pity for Riko and no grief for Lord Kengo.

Riko, however, felt otherwise. Despite barely even knowing his brother, and his father for the matter, his hairpin trigger temper was more sensitive than usual. Nathaniel knew it wasn’t because his father was six foot under; being ignored by his own family was just another blow to his too-high pride. In the Nest, everyone was forced into treating Riko like their king because he was of a higher position of power; they might all be top Class I Exy players, but Riko was a son of Exy. He had more power in his little finger than they all did combined. The Moriyama family, however, had an immense amount of power that trampled Riko’s, and Riko was worth nothing to them. It was one of the few times Riko didn’t have people bowing down to him, and he was not enjoying it.

Nathaniel was glad that Jean wasn’t here to face what was going on. Despite his absence, Tetsuji still called for them to have a captain’s practice while they were gone, which meant that Riko was left in charge. They didn’t run any scrimmages since no one was there to referee, which meant that they practiced drills for a good two hours, Riko berating them and all. Nathaniel’s body was tired and he was tired of Riko. At the two hour mark, Riko ripped off his helmet to really begin ripping them apart.

“You’re all fucking worthless, everyone here. You all think you’re topshit because you’re a Raven? What a fucking joke, you won’t be anything on this team, in your pathetic lives, if you don’t step up and-”

Nathaniel had taken his own helmet off during his rant. He decided to speak up. “Do these insults apply to yourself?”

Nathaniel might as well have slapped the words out of Riko’s mouth. He fell silent and turned his eyes to Nathaniel, as did his team. Andrew in goal leaned on his stick, though Nathaniel could feel his eyes boring into him. “What?” Riko asked, too quietly. Nathaniel could hear the murder in his tone, but that didn’t stop his next words.

“I get it Riko, I get it,” he started. “You had a complicated relationship with your dad. No really, I do get it. My dad never called me on my birthday, either. I probably won't be invited to his funeral, too. It must suck to naturally get all this power from your family but now be forever unable to call up dad and be like, "Hey dad! Guess whose life I just ruined today!" But, and now I’m just going out on a limb here, I don't care. You have done everything in your power -which is quite a lot since the good ole Moriyama family gives the most power to its pricks- to make our life here living hell, and now you want us to sit back and let you berate us more than usual because your dad kicked the bucket? No, we would have actually felt bad if you were, you know, not the scum of the earth, but, you know, things can’t always be as it should. So please, at this point, it would just be better if you carried out your temper tantrum by yourself and let us continue our practice in peace. Maybe finally make your dad proud by shutting the fuck up.” Nathaniel made a pointed pause. “Thanks.”

Nathaniel realized that saying these words to Riko Moriyama was about as suicidal as anything, but he wasn’t going to take them back, and he sure as fuck didn’t regret them.

If Riko was able to strangle him in front of everyone, he would have. However, he was held back by witnesses and the fact that the Ravens couldn’t suffer another close call, so he resided to punching Nathaniel across the jaw. Nathaniel had seen him bounding up to him, ripping his gloves off, but he didn’t bother trying to back away. Riko wouldn’t do anything more in front of a crowd, and if he tried to run, it would only be worse when Riko had him alone.

The punch was strong enough to knock Nathaniel to his feet, and he thought about how Riko would have loved to do this the night Kevin premiered for the Foxes.

Riko loomed over Nathaniel, and Nathaniel’s jaw ached. Heat was blooming over his entire face, yet he managed to throw a savage grin onto his face. “You’ve been waiting to do that. Now, don’t we have a practice to continue?”

Riko scowled at him. He picked up Nathaniel’s helmet, which had fallen out of his hands on impact, and dropped it onto his gut. “Get the fuck up,” he said before pulling on his own.

Nathaniel pushed himself up. He pulled on his helmet and stood up, barely letting his body adjust to being knocked down so fast and then picked up at the same rate. His head hurt and he was exhausted, still he pushed himself on to finish the practice. He wasn’t going to give Riko the satisfaction of knocking him down.

When practice finally came to a close, Nathaniel was set on spending his day sleeping, or at least avoiding Riko until their practice that evening. He was about to enter his own room when he heard a voice behind him.

“Nathaniel.”

He turned to see Andrew standing in his own room’s doorway. Then, Nathaniel decided that he would rather spend the day with Andrew than alone in a room too big for one.

Andrew shut the door behind them and turned to stare at Nathaniel. Nathaniel sat on his bed and stared up at him. Andrew silently followed him and sat down besides him.

“Are you going to continue being an idiot and running into Riko’s fist?” Andrew asked.

“Probably,” Nathaniel said with a shrug. “He says so much bullshit, someone has to call him out for it.”

Andrew shook his head. “You’re an idiot.”

Nathaniel smirked. “You like me, though.”

“We’ve been over this before, I hate you,” Andrew said. Nathaniel didn’t believe him. Still, Nathaniel played into it.

“Of course you do, you obviously hate me so much.”

“One-hundred-and-eight percent, Nathaniel,” Andrew said.

Nathaniel’s gaze on Andrew softened. Each time the percentage increased, the percentage that Nathaniel didn’t believe measured hatred, warmth spread more and more in his chest. He enjoyed the presence of Andrew, enjoyed how easy all of this came and how he could just be with Andrew around.

“Staring,” Andrew muttered, though Nathaniel didn’t miss Andrew’s eyes scanning his jaw where bruising and swelling had most likely began to occur. He jutted his chin out to Andrew, and Andrew only waited a moment before gently taking his chin in his hand. He tilted Nathaniel’s head, observing the damage done, and gently probed at the swelling.

Nathaniel wanted to make a joke of Andrew, who claimed to hate Nathaniel, offering so much attention to his barely-there injury, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment. He wanted to remember this, remember Andrew with something that wasn’t quite softness in his eyes but something close enough.

Nathaniel hadn’t realized how close their faces had gotten until he was staring right into Andrew’s eyes. Andrew’s eyes flicked from Nathaniel’s own to his lips. “Yes or no?” Andrew asked, his voice barely filling the room.

“Yes,” Nathaniel said without hesitation. He’s never been more comfortable than with Andrew.

Andrew pressed his lips to Nathaniel’s. His hand still cupped Nathaniel’s jaw and warmth radiated through Nathaniel’s body. Everything he felt for Andrew ran through his veins and ignited his heart. With Andrew’s lips on his own, he never felt more at peace and more alive. He was more with Andrew, more than just a number or an Exy player. When he was with Andrew, he was Nathaniel Wesninski, he didn’t have to hide behind a three or a helmet, and that meant more to Nathaniel than he could ever think about saying.

Nathaniel fidgeted with his hands, wanting to find something to do with them but not wanting to cross any boundaries. He wanted to hold onto Andrew, hold onto him like he would be the last joy Nathaniel would ever have, but all he allowed himself were fingers reaching but never making contact. Andrew must have noticed his yearning, for he took his hand away from Nathaniel’s face and grabbed his wrists, pulling his hands to his hair. Nathaniel wasted no time in fisting his hands in Andrew’s hair, finding comfort in the touch.

At one point Nathaniel’s kisses started to stray from Andrew’s lips, but the moment they touched his jaw he pulled away slightly. “Is this okay?” he asked lowly.

“Keep going,” Andrew said, his voice gruffer than Nathaniel expected. Still, Nathaniel nodded and continued to kiss down Andrew’s jaw and to his neck. Andrew’s hands balled in the front of his shirt as Nathaniel restrained himself from leaving marks along Andrew’s neck. When he made his way back up to Andrew’s lips, Andrew’s hands started to inch downwards but paused at the hem of Nathaniel’s sweatpants.

“Yes,” Nathaniel breathed out the answer to the unspoken question against Andrew’s lips. Andrew’s one hand clamped itself behind Nathaniel’s neck as the other reached under his sweats and boxers. Nathaniel gasped at the touch and his fingers tightened in Andrew’s hair. Nathaniel’s breathing was coming in quick breaths and he felt hot under Andrew’s touch. His pulse was flying so fast that he wondered if Andrew could hear it.

When Nathaniel came to completion, it was in heavy breathing and words tumbling out of his lips that sounded a lot like Andrew. His eyes were clamped shut and his hands clutching Andrew’s hair. It took a moment for his heartrate to straighten out, and when it did, he finally opened his eyes and his blue met Andrew’s hazel.

“Go back to your room,” Andrew said.

“But- you-” Nathaniel’s eyes flicked downwards.

“I can take care of it,” he said. “Leave.”

Nathaniel nodded and managed to stumble out of Andrew’s room and into his own. His legs felt wobbly with the thought of Andrew and he laid on his bed, motionless, for a couple of minutes before finally moving to get changed.

[snickerl]

Mom’s The Best

A collection of XF ficlets

I started this collection of stand-alone ficlets featuring Margaret Scully because she’s always been one of my favorite characters and a season 11 without her seems too much to take.

So far, the collection contains the following ficlets:

PEPPERMINT TEA APPLE PIE ROOT BEER

PEACH PUNCH

Margaret Scully was hurting.

She was hurting so badly even breathing was painful. As a mother, you were not supposed to bury your child. It wasn't the natural order of events that a mother had to say goodbye to her dead daughter, although it hadn't hit her totally unexpected. Over the last years, she had tried to brace herself for the worst and that had always been the not so unlikely possibility that her daughter had to go before her.

She hadn't expected it to happen to her older daughter though. When she had rushed to the ER a week ago, she had asked for Dana Scully's room and hadn't understood why they had been giving her the facts about Melissa's medical condition. It hadn't made any sense to Margaret that Melissa was the one lying in the hospital bed she had been looking at, tied to a respirator, her head bandaged and her heart beat recorded by a monitor. It had always been Dana she needed to worry about, not Melissa. Dana was the one with the dangerous job that exposed her to killers, not Melissa. Melissa was a dreamer who went to esoteric conventions and dealt with all kinds of mysticism, who met people who were a bit eccentric but otherwise harmless. How come she had been shot in the head by a cold blooded killer and not Dana?

It had taken Margaret a while before she had understood that the bullet that had eventually killed Melissa had actually been meant for Dana, that the killer had simply mistaken one sister for the other. The two Scully girls who couldn't have looked any more different, the only thing they shared was the color of their hair. Melissa was tall with long legs and a distinctive figure, whereas Dana was petite, her stature short and slim. How could someone be so dumb to mix them up?

The last days had been nothing but an ordeal for Margaret. She had held a vigil at Melissa's bedside, hadn't left her but for a quick shower at her house and some new clothes. She had prayed together with Albert Hosteen, who Dana had been sent to them because she had needed to hide from the people who wanted to kill her. At least Bill had been with her, although the foaming rage he had directed at Dana and her choice to join the FBI had been difficult to take at times. Margaret had needed consolation and support, playing the blame game hadn't been of any help. Not to her, not to Melissa, not even to Bill himself. Her thoughts had not only been with her older daughter who had been fighting for her life right in front of her eyes, but also with her younger daughter of whom she hadn't known the whereabouts. But she had pitied her for having to deal with her sister being shot in lieu of herself, disconnected from her family.

Margaret Scully was crying.

She was crying for the daughter she had lost, but also for the daughter who had been attending her sister's funeral absent-mindedly and completely frozen today. Fox had been at her side the whole time, compassion and worry etched on his face. Dana had refused to throw dirt at the grave and she had refused to accept the condolences granted to the family by the congregation or mourners. She had even refused to listen to Father McCue's words which had been meant to soothe her. She didn't want to be soothed. Dana felt guilty for her sister's death and undeserving of any other sentiment but reproach and contempt. So she was fighting against everyone who tried to make her feel better but let the guilt take complete possession of her instead. Margaret knew Dana felt so guilty, she would trade places with her sister without giving it a second thought if some divine - or diabolic - power offered her, and it only added to her motherly grief.

Family and friends were gathering at Margaret's house after the funeral to offer consolation but also to commemorate Melissa's life which had been too short. Margaret had prepared her late daughter's favorite food, music she had liked was coming from the stereo, and she had asked some people to say a few words, Dana being one of them, but she had declined. The sun was out and the temperature was very agreeable. A few people had gone outside and had gathered in small groups in the yard. They were speaking of Melissa, telling each other how they had met her or anecdotes from their lives with her, some of them peculiar or even funny. Onlookers might mistake the gathering in Margaret Scully's back yard for a joyful garden party because of the laughter that could be heard here and there and the people chatting with drinks and food in their hands. If only not all of them wore black and if only the closest family weren't so grief-stricken.

Maggie was shaking a lot of hands, was hugged and told many words of consolation. She had been so busy all day that she almost forgot how sad the cause for this reunion was. At some point, her best friend Martha dragged her out of the kitchen where she had been piling up muffins on a cake tray to serve to the funeral party. Martha shoved her into the living room where Dana was standing in front of the fireplace staring at the family pictures on the mantlepiece.

"She hasn't moved for half an hour now, Maggie," Martha said. "She's suffering like a dog. You have to talk to her."

Maggie sighed. "I know. She can't cope with it, is blaming herself. But she wouldn't talk to me."

"Try again, dear, and let me take charge of the muffins."

"Thank you, Martha."

Martha smiled compassionately at her friend before she turned around and headed back to the kitchen. Maggie walked over to where her daughter was standing, still petrified in front of the fireplace. She had an idea which picture she was looking at. There was one in a silver frame of Melissa and her as kids. Missy was eight years old, Dana had just turned seven. It had been taken at the end of a long day at the beach, the girls had been swimming and building sand castles the whole day. Dana's face was cluttered with freckles and Missy's nose was red from a sunburn. They were posing proudly in front of the structure they had built, a huge castle with towers and crenels, a moat and even a drawbridge. Missy had put her arm around her younger sister's shoulder and both smiled happily into the camera, showing the photographer their adorable tooth gaps. Maggie had always loved that picture, for one could see how close the girls were, how much they loved spending time with each other. They hadn't only been sisters but also best friends. No wonder Dana's pain was so intense.

Maggie grazed her daughter's shoulder softly not to startle her. "That's a wonderful picture of you," she said. "You can have it if you want to."

"It's yours, mom," Dana croaked without looking at her mother, "I can't take it away from you."

"You're not. I would be giving it to you."

"Your place is where it belongs, not mine. Mine is the place where she lost her life, I don't think she would've appreciated if I took her back there."

"It's a photograph, Dana. A beautiful one of Melissa and you you might want to take home as a reminiscence of your sister."

"To remind me every fucking day that I took her life?"

Maggie gasped at the curse word but now was neither the time nor the place to reprimand her adult daughter for using it. But there was something else she had to set right. "You did not take her life, the killer did. He took your sister's life in cold blood, you did nothing wrong."

"You have to understand, mom...this bullet was meant for me!" Dana was very upset now. She spoke through gritted teeth, clearly working hard to keep her voice down. She was spitting out every single word as if they tasted bitter. "I...am the one who should be lying in that coffin! Not Melissa!"

"And if that were so, Dana? Huh? Do you really believe I would be any less heartbroken over the loss of you than I am over the loss of your sister?"

"Melissa didn't deserve this."

Dana stared so intensely at her mother, drilling her eyes into her, that Maggie held her breath. "Neither would've you," she felt the urge to point out.

At this, Dana looked away from her, clearly fighting to keep the tears at bay. "I chose to be in that business, to put myself at risk. I didn't mean for her to be pulled into the danger I was dealing with and to get killed in the process."

"And you think I don't know that? You really believe I don't have any idea what's going on inside of you, Dana? That you're putting all the blame on yourself?"

Maggie so wanted to pull her into her arms, to cradle her and stroke her head. She was her little girl after all, although she was a grown-up woman. Right now she was a wounded wildcat caught in a trap lashing out at everybody trying to free her.

"If I had stayed. If I had only waited for her."

"Then he might have killed you both and I would be standing here today mourning two daughters."

"I shouldn't have gotten in the car with Skinner. He said we would pick her up on the way, but we didn't. She must've have taken a different route than usual or something."

Dana wasn't even listening to what Maggie was saying anymore. She had retreated into her own private courtroom and acted both as the defendant and the chief prosecutor. And she would also deliver the verdict on herself, a verdict which would be nothing else but 'guilty to all of the charges'.

"You couldn't have possibly foreseen all that! Dana, be reasonable and stop perverting the facts! The killer did that to your sister, not you!" Maggie appealed to her daughter. She could also be forceful if she wanted to. She knew exactly what Dana was doing. She was covering the unbearable pain over the loss of her sister with self-contempt. It hurt less to loathe herself than to endure the immeasurable grief and anguish.

"I can't forgive myself that I wasn't at her bedside when she died. I didn't even say goodbye to her."

"Dana, sweetheart, Fox told me that he kept you from coming to the hospital, that by staying away you granted her the only chance she had for survival. If you had shown up at her bedside, they would've killed her along with you, and probably also me. You sent Mr. Hosteen, and he was of great service to us. I'm sure your sister knew you thought of her and were with her through him and she must have loved the fact that you sent someone to practice his mystic powers on her. Please, Dana, don't let this beat you."

"But-"

"No buts!"

"But I miss her, mom." Dana's voice had taken a different ring now. It was brittle and thin all of a sudden, she was rather breathing the words instead of spitting them out like before. "I don't know how to live without her. For all my life, she's been there. How am I to live without my big sis?"

"We all have to learn, dear. None of us knows how to carry on without her yet."

Maggie saw how Dana was crumbling to pieces in front of her. Her chin started to tremble, her eyes filled with tears, and her face contorted into a painful grimace in her desperate efforts to somehow keep her composure. Maggie was overwhelmed by compassion for her younger daughter, she pitied her so much for having to go through this, so much she even forgot her own pain for a moment. She pulled Dana into a tight embrace, almost swallowing her tiny body. She let her cry her eyes out on her shoulder, held her shaking body and rocked her.

"You're not alone, Dana," Maggie implored. "I'm here for you. You've got your brothers. Tara." When Maggie noticed Mulder entering her field of vision, his eyes directed at his partner and full of sympathy, she whispered, "and you have a friend in Fox."

Hearing her co-worker's name, even though it was the one she hardly ever used on him herself, pulled Dana out of the intimacy with her mother. She cleared her throat and hastily brushed the tears from her face, so obviously embarrassed that it made Maggie pity her even more. Why didn't she want anyone to see she also could be vulnerable? When had she turned into a woman to whom asking for help was a sign of weakness? Fox seemed to be contemplating the same thing because he put his hand on her shoulder and reassured her, "it's okay, Scully, you don't need to put up a clean face for me. You've seen me in despair over the loss of my sister and the role I played in it, and now I'm seeing you. I know exactly how you feel." His mouth was so close to her ear, he almost kissed her.

A heart-wrenching sob escaped Dana's chest. She pulled away from her mother and threw herself into Fox's arms. She literally crawled into his embrace, rested her head on his broad chest and let him envelop her with his long arms. Maggie was touched by the scene. They were partners, co-workers, fellow agents, whatever you wanted to call them, but they cared for each other like best friends. Maybe, one day, they would become even more than friends, Maggie thought. Fox was a sensitive, caring, and decent man, despite what Bill thought of him. And he honestly cared for Dana, not only as his FBI partner but as a human being. He definitely was a person she would be glad to see her daughter being in a romantic relationship with. But those were hopes for another time, not for today.

"Take her home, Fox," Maggie told him.

"I don't want to go home," Dana hiccuped into his chest. "I can't be there."

"You can come to my place, Scully, and stay as long as you want. And if you don't want to return to your apartment ever, we find you a new place."

Dana looked at him, clearly surprised by the offer and furrowed her brows. "You don't have skimmed milk," she tried to reason. She sniffed, dabbing Fox's shirt with his black tie where she had wetted it with her tears. One could see that she liked the idea, needing only one more a little push before she gave up her resistance.

"We can get some on the way. But don't let yourself believe we will also get all those crazy fat-free, low-cholesterol potato chips you say you like although they taste like cardboard."

What a brilliant man, Maggie thought. How well he understood Dana. And she actually showed him a smile. A tiny, tight-lipped one, rather a smirk, but still, he had managed to pull her out of her mode of unrelenting self-flagellation. He would help her heal, of that Maggie was sure, and she could again tend to her own wounds.

She kissed Dana's hair and caressed her cheek, squeezed Fox's arm and threw him a grateful look. He nodded at her shortly, then put his hand on the small of Dana's back and nudged her forward. Maggie watched them leave her house before she turned around to get a bowl of peach punch out of her refrigerator.

Melissa had loved peach punch, and Margaret Scully had set her mind on proposing a toast to her late daughter with a glass of peach punch in her hand.

[ramblingsrantsreviews]

Season Review: Never Have I Ever (Netflix, 2020)

I’m a little late to the party since Never Have I Ever released on Netflix on April 27th but there’s just so many amazing shows nowadays that it can be hard to keep up. At least I joined the party!

Co-created by Mindy Kaling and Lang Fisher, Never Have I Ever is Netflix’s latest coming-of-age dramedy to take the world by storm. The show centers around 15-year-old Devi Vishwakumar (Maitreyi Ramakrishnan) who is desperate to change her social status and redeem herself from her disastrous and traumatic freshman year of high school. Let’s just say, the only thing worse than being known as the freshman who lost her dad during a recital is being the girl who lost the ability to walk because her dad died and she went into shock. Just as quickly as she lost the ability to walk, she gained it back and now Devi is determined to redefine herself and make sophomore year her bitch. With her friends by her side, Devi devises a plan to get them boyfriends so they can start climbing the high school social ladder. In addition to her plan, Devi must also learn how to finally grieve her father’s death, deal with her nemesis Ben (Jaren Lewison), and figure out how she’s going to get her crush Paxton (Darren Barnet) to fall in love with her.

In true coming-of-age fashion, the show deals with friendships, crushes, parties, and the general displeasure that comes with being a teenager. It’s cringey, hilarious, heartbreaking, and emotional all at the same time. Plus, it’s a fun and easy binge you can knock out in a day or two if you’re a hardcore binger.

Now, here is my review of Never Have I Ever.

As always, spoilers ahead. Proceed at your own risk.

Favorite Episode: 1×10 — “…Said I’m Sorry”

Season finale episodes can be hit or miss but Never Have I Ever knocked it out of the park. It truly did the impossible by tying up loose ends while still leaving us on a cliffhanger of sorts so that we beg Netflix for a season two.

With the title, “…Said I’m Sorry,” it’s safe to assume that episode 10 is going to be the redemption episode for Davi. What’s so incredible about this episode is that it’s not just Davi who is saying sorry for her actions, everyone around her is. The episode begins at Ben’s house since she has moved in with him so that her mother can’t force her to move to India. When Nalini shows up at Ben’s house Devi is less than pleased. Her displeasure soon turns to anger when Nalini tells Devi that she plans to spread her father’s ashes today, on his birthday. Devi freaks out and refuses to attend because she fears this is another “spring cleaning” attempt so they can go to India.

When Ben finds out that Devi isn’t going to the beach to spread her father’s ashes he springs into action. He convinces Devi’s best friends Fabiola (Lee Rodriguez) and Eleanor (Ramona Young) to put aside their annoyance with Devi and come convince her that she needs to do this with her mother. The girls show up and eventually convince Devi that she needs to do the right thing. Ben offers to take Devi to Malibu and though they face some obstacles, Devi makes it and is able to reconcile with her mother.

Meanwhile, Paxton gets a reality check from his sister Rebecca (Lily D. Moore) and shows up at Devi’s house. When she’s not there he calls and leaves her a voicemail. Devi doesn’t get the message right away though since she discovers Ben waiting for her in the parking lot of the beach. Instead of checking her phone, Devi and Ben kiss.

All of that happens in less than 30 minutes so its a pretty intense episode but an amazing one nonetheless.

As I mentioned above, I love this episode because everyone gets their apology moment.

Devi must first apologize to Fabiola and Eleanor, again, for her shitty behavior. What I love though, is that it’s not just Devi who’s apologizing, Fabiola and Eleanor also recognize that they’ve been a bit unfair to Devi too. One line that really stands out to me is when Eleanor says “just because we aren’t talking doesn’t mean we don’t care about you.” It speaks volumes about what teenage friendship looks like. It’s messy and there will be fights but true friends will always be there for you when needed. And they’ll always be there to call you out on your bullshit and point out harsh realities.

The true emotional moment of this episode comes when Devi and Nalini reconcile on the beach before spreading Mohan’s ashes. While it’s Devi who begins apologizing for her terrible behavior and for telling her mother she wished she had died, it’s Nalini who steals the show by apologizing for making Devi feel like she didn’t love her. It’s the perfect mother-daughter moment for these two and one that is so important because it shows that these two do love each other despite everything they’ve said and been through.

There’s one more apology within this episode, though it’s more subtle. To me, Devi and Ben finally apologize to each other for their years of bickering and nonsense fighting when they kiss in that car. Not only did Ben prove that Devi can count on him in the hard times, but Devi also proved to Ben that she could appreciate his presence.

Least Favorite Episode: 1×06 — “…Been The Loneliest Boy In The World”

Before you yell at me, it’s not what you think. I absolutely adore Ben; in fact, he’s my favorite male character in the show. And I don’t even hate that they decided to give Ben a stand-alone episode, what I hate about it is that it didn’t do anything to further tell us who Ben Gross really is.

The episode, which is narrated by Andy Samberg, opens with Ben on the bus on the way home from the disastrous Model UN event. Not only is he hurt that Devi turned on him causing him to lose, but he’s also hurt because he thought they really had a breakthrough moment at the hotel party. Things only get worse for Ben when he gets home and finds out his mother is leaving for another retreat so she can “be a better mother.” In addition, Ben’s father informs Ben that he’ll be unable to go to an NBA game with Ben.

Things aren’t much better for Ben at school. Sure, he has a girlfriend but she’s only with him for his father’s money and he’s definitely lacking in the friend department. In fact, Ben becomes so overcome with loneliness that he agrees to meet some dude he met in a Reddit forum. Of course, that goes about as well as one might think and Ben flees the restaurant after the dude is revealed to be a middle-aged man who asks him to “blow on his pizza.”

After a large pimple finds a home on his face, Ben goes to Dr. Vishwakumar’s office to get it dealt with. While in the chair, Ben breaks down and Dr. Vishwakumar ends up inviting him over to her house. Let’s just say Devi is less than pleased to have her nemesis sitting across from her at the dinner table. Despite it all, they end up having a great time together. In fact, Devi and Ben even have a moment while doing dishes together.

See, I told you it wasn’t a bad episode!

As I was researching the show I stumbled upon an article published on Forward.com that exposed the show’s “Jewish problem.” The author, Mira Fox, makes some good points, and its one of the reasons I decided to pick this episode as my least favorite.

Fox points out that while the other characters are either not defined by their backgrounds or are allowed to have nuanced opinions about their backgrounds. Everyone that is, except for Ben who is trapped under endless Jewish stereotypes.

Ben’s stand-alone episode could have given us the depth to his character and his personality. It could have introduced us to his family and his life that is drastically different than Devi’s. It could have even explored his Jewish background in the same way that Devi got to explore her Indian heritage in episode 4.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that this episode lacked depth until the final scene with Devi and Ben in the kitchen together. When I realized it was Ben’s point-of-view episode I had high hopes for it but unfortunately, all I got was a bunch of character backstory I already knew and a weird catfish scenario.

Favorite Character: Devi Vishwakumar

I’ll be honest, I had a really hard time picking a favorite character because there were so many amazing ones to chose from. My honorable mentions include Ben, Kamala, and Mohan but I eventually decided to pick Devi since I had more to say about her as a character.

Devi is insufferable at times and she’s selfish pretty much all the time but that’s why I love her so much. All too often we expect the female characters to be nurturing, to be selfless, and to be this perfect stereotypical version of what a woman should be. It’s refreshing to see a teen girl who’s allowed to be a mess because let’s face it, teenage girls are messy.

While it might seem that Devi stays static for most of the season, it’s simply not the case. With every minor mistake and fall out with a person, Devi is getting closer and closer to working through her grief and trauma to become a better person.

One of the things I love about her is that she’s so ready to have the best sophomore year ever that she doesn’t stray away from asking for exactly what she wants. Is her asking Paxton to have sex with her even though they’ve barely talked weird and probably qualifies as harassment? Yes, but when has a teenage girl ever been allowed to pursue what she wants so stubbornly?

More importantly, I think Devi is an extremely interesting and important character because of how she deals with her father’s death. While it might be an odd statement, I found that a lot of people I knew in high school, myself included, went through their first death while in high school. High school is hard enough with the pressure to succeed academically and socially but when you add in the need to grieve it gets so much more complicated.

Devi’s grieving process explores one that’s not traditional but is common. She’s so affected by her father’s death that she simply cannot process it. Dr. Jamie Ryan (Niecy Nash), Devi’s therapist, nails it when she tells Devi that all her issues with people stem from her trauma from her father’s death and the fact that she hasn’t been able to grieve it. And while I don’t condone Devi’s constant need to use her father’s death as an excuse or pass for her behavior, I do understand it.

Lastly, I want to briefly discuss Devi’s relationship with her Indian heritage. I love that the series chooses to introduce her right from the start as someone who isn’t “traditional” or rather is “Americanized.” We further see her complex relationship with her heritage explored in the fourth episode of the series. In fact, she even states that sometimes “she doesn’t feel Indian enough” to a family friend who used to feel the same way but after going to college has reconnected with his heritage.

It’s a theme we’re seeing explored a lot with characters who are both American and from a different ethnic/religious/racial background and one that is so important. I’m glad we got to see Devi’s version of her struggle to fit in and I hope (assuming the show is picked up for a second season) we get to see it explored more later one.

Least Favorite Character: Eleanor Wong

Similar to my disclosure before my least favorite episode, I also don’t really have a least favorite character from Never Have I Ever. Part of the reason why this was so difficult that all because all the characters are sort of terrible which is the point of the series!

While I could have picked a guest character, I decided to pick a character that was a bit more permanent to the story at large. In the end, I ended up choosing Eleanor as my least favorite character. While I did like aspects of Eleanor’s character, I felt that she was just another stereotypical theater kid. While it’s true theater kids can be over the top and dramatic, it’s not true for everyone. I wish the media would understand this and diversify it’s theater kid characters.

I also wasn’t a fan of her plotline with her mother. While it was interesting and unique it didn’t pull the same emotional weight as Devi or Fabiola’s storylines. I had a lot of questions regarding the plot. Why was her mother hiding from her? Was she ashamed? Why did Eleanor decide to give up acting when she finally was finally the lead? I know it’s because she didn’t want to be like her mother but by giving it up she became her mother.

Again, I just wanted more from her both in her character personality and in her storylines.

Favorite Pairing: Devi and Josh

Like most teen shows, Never Have I Ever does have a love triangle but unlike most shows, this one doesn’t seem forced. You’re either Team Paxton or Team Ben and I am 100% Team Ben.

While Devi and Paxton are cute (if you can get past the fact that the actors are literally 10 years apart in age), but they’re nothing unique about them. The cool guy falling for the nerdy girl is a tried and true trope and Never Have I Ever doesn’t do much to make it fresh. Nemesis to lovers, on the other hand, is something I haven’t seen done in quite some time which is why I was so excited when the show decided to explore Devi and Ben’s relationship.

Ben and Devi just get each other, even if they don’t think they do. They’re both competitive and smart, they both deal with familial struggles, and they’re both desperate to figure out who they are so they can fit in. In fact, the one thing constant in these two lives is each other’s presence. Even in their most vulnerable moments, these two seek each other out because they know they’ll be real with each other.

I mean come on, Ben ends up at Devi’s house after being neglected by his family and his girlfriend and Devi literally moves into Ben’s house when she has nowhere else to go. Not only that, but Ben literally rallies Devi’s best friends because he knows they’ll be able to convince her to do the right thing.

When will your favs ever?!

I knew I was shipping them the entire season but what really sealed the deal was the fact that Ben stayed at the beach when he didn’t have to. He could have dropped Devi off and left which would have forced her to work things out with her mom or else she’s been stranded at the beach. instead, he chose to stay because he didn’t want Devi to be forced into any situation she didn’t want to.

In my eyes, there is no love triangle after that kiss!

Complaints:

One of my biggest complaints regarding Never Have I Ever is that the series didn’t utilize it’s reoccurring characters as strongly as they should have. Obviously, the show is mainly about Devi and her struggles but that doesn’t mean that the other characters couldn’t share some of the action. There were several episodes where they were MIA completely. I would have loved to see Fabiola struggle to figure out the right way to tell her family that she is a lesbian. I would have loved to see Eleanor in action in the theater club and how her relationship with a crew member made that better or worse. I wanted to see more of Paxton and Rebecca’s relationship. I really really wanted to get to know Kamala better. It almost felt like Never Have I Ever was pulling a Twilight by having all these amazing secondary characters who didn’t get the time they deserved. I hope we get to see more of them in season 2!

Another complaint of mine was the arranged marriage storyline. While I’m not Indian and I can not speak to the culture at large, I personally felt like it was an outdated stereotype. For a show that’s so diverse and progressive, I felt they could have done something else with her character that was equally as entertaining and conflict inducing. Or, at the very least I would have wanted them to dig deeper into why she was being subjected to an arranged marriage. I guess what I’m saying is that I didn’t like that the storyline was played for laughs instead of actually digging deeper into it. It still could have funny elements but I wanted a deeper meaning out of it. Who knows, maybe that’s something that’ll happen in season 2.

Lastly, and this one is minor and has nothing to do with the writing, I was displeased with the fact that they cast two actors who are ten years apart to play romantic love interests. Look, I get it, when an actor is right for the part they’re right for the part but at some point, you have to be cautious of age. Maitreyi Ramakrishnan who plays Devi is only 18 and yet Darren Barnet who plays Paxton is 29. Maybe I’m too old but I just can’t ship a couple knowing that there is an age difference of 10 years! Ramakrishnan and Barnet are both amazing actors and they did an amazing job portraying their characters and I wouldn’t want them re-casted. I just would prefer it if they weren’t love interests.

Praise:

I haven’t loved a show so quickly and so deeply in a long time so it was refreshing to have that moment again while watching Never Have I Ever.

The humor and the dialogue was spot on from the beginning to the end. I literally laughed through every episode of the show not because I had to because I genuinely thought it was hilarious. From one-liners to entire conversations I seriously couldn’t believe how funny the show is. And it’s not just cringe humor nor is it purely physical humor. It’s not even just the humor that the dialogue nailed but also the serious and awkward moments. I cried through the entire final five minutes because of the dialogue leading up to that moment and the dialogue in the moment itself.

Never Have I Ever completely nailed the awkwardness of being a teenager in high school. I don’t know what exactly it was but watching the show immediately transported me back to my sophomore year of high school which is both a bad and a good thing. The friendships dynamics were spot on. I loved that they explored a friendship break in an authentic and positive way instead of it being a bigger moment than it needed to be. Had friendship breaks been acceptable when I was in high school I probably would have had more friends. Even the relationships were spot on — both romantic and familial. In fact, I really appreciated that Devi and her mother weren’t the perfect mother-daughter duo and that they both were still grieving Mohan’s death.

I absolutely love the show’s diverse characters. One thing I think was groundbreaking about the show is that none of their sexualities/races/ethnicities/religions specifically defined who they were. Devi wasn’t just an Indian-American character. Fabiola wasn’t just a lesbian. Eleanor wasn’t just Asian-American. Ben wasn’t just Jewish. Paxton wasn’t just Japanese-American. They were those things but they were teenagers first and foremost. Were there times I wished we got to know more of their backgrounds? Of course, but I also appreciated that it wasn’t the focal point of their characters or the story at large.

Finally, I did love that they gave Ben a stand-alone episode — even if it was my least favorite episode. It was refreshing to have a different point-of-view character and it helped keep the series fresh and entertaining as I binge-watched. I really hope they continue with this trend and that we get to see Ben have his own episode again but also that some of the other characters get there’s too. I’d love to see Kamala and Paxton get one to explore their characters more. Fabiola and Eleanor would also be interesting too. Even Devi’s mother would be interesting!

* * *

Overall, I did really love Never Have I Ever. I thought it was fun, fresh, diverse, and entertaining. I will definitely be rooting for the series to get a second season because I’m not done with these characters.

You can stream Never Have I Ever on Netflix.

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