#it broke my heart that June left her boyfriend to be with Alex because she knew she's the only one who would prioritise him

[hussyknee]

Listen I love Ellen and Oscar but

June Claremont-Diaz 🫱🏽‍🫲🏻 Princess Bea

↓↓

✨ Parentification Trauma ✨

[ragnarachael]

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda.

Pairing: Deadpool x Daughter!Reader, Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 1,945

Summary: Wade didn’t want to ruin his kid's night with her ‘boyfriend,’ but he didn’t have much of a choice, she had a right to know.

A Note: i really don’t think this is all that different from the original piece i wrote back in june 2018. you can’t fix what ain’t broke? (rereading and editing this, i just realized how close to home this hits right now)

Warnings: a bunch of angst that you probably haven’t seen me write before, major canon character death, cursing, crying, all the sad stuff with a bit of jokes at the end. (i don’t know if it’s considered a fourth wall break, but there’s a reference to your local writer behind the screen)

masterlist

Wade had been sitting in the apartment for a few hours now. He was soaking wet in his shirt and sweats, holding onto Vanessa’s limp, cold body like his life depended on it. He was still covered in the blood of the douchebag that pulled the trigger.

He was still sobbing on and off with the door still broken open and the rain pouring through the open window.

If Vanessa were still alive, she would be huffing at Wade for doing such a thing and then he’d make a joke and then they’d make their way to the bed and celebrate their anniversary as planned.

Of all the days he fucking finished his duties early and had idiots follow him back home, it had to be today.

Y/N had made plans with her friend (more like boyfriend, Wade and Vanessa knew something was up) Peter just so they could celebrate.. accordingly.

How the hell was Wade supposed to walk over to the Parker’s apartment complex in Queens and tell his little girl her mother was dead?

How the hell was he supposed to act like a normal human being when he was covered in two different peoples blood right now?

And more importantly, how was he going to pull himself together and get up from the rug where he sat with Vanessa in his soaking wet arms?

Wade took a deep breath, pressing a kiss to Vanessa’s pale forehead before gently laying her body back where it landed what seemed like hours ago now. He slowly stood up, looking at the clock above their bed, seeing it only being almost nine o'clock at night.

Wade just shook his head and moved to his closet, throwing on a hoodie and a pair of jeans to not only to warm up and hide all of the blood seeping through the cloth fabric, but also so he can get his kid. Poor girl deserves to know what the fuck happened.

Queens was only an hour walk from their complex. The Parker’s was then 20 minutes from that point on. That put Wade in front of the complex doors at exactly 10:30 pm. He pulled his hood off as he walked into the warm lobby, ignoring the gasps from the people in the room as he made his way to the elevator.

He either had a lot of blood on his face, or he still looks like the world’s worst burn victim.

He’ll take either for 200, Alex.

He pressed the seventh floor button once he stepped foot into the elevator. Thankfully, he was completely alone in the metal box and started to try and think of how the fuck he was going to do this.

What do you say to the second best thing that’s happened in your life that the first best thing that’s happened in your life is fucking dead?

The elevator opened up too soon to his liking. It wasn’t slow enough for him to get his shit together and man up enough to march down the hall to get to the Parker’s apartment. Either way, his brain was on autopilot as he walked down the long hall, having dropped her off here earlier in the day before he went to do his shit.

He made the first left he saw prior to earlier in the day, stopping at the second door on the left.

He had hoped Peter wouldn’t answer the door. Y/N didn’t need her happiness to be ruined in this moment. If May answered again, that’d be a blessing within itself.

Wade took a deep, deep breath, trying to get his thoughts together before he removed his right hand from his hoodie pockets and knocked on the door firmly.

He placed his hand back in the pocket and waited. It seemed like an eternity before he saw May’s face contorting from sweet and kind to worried, already seeing Y/N’s father here soon.

“Hey, May. Uh, can I speak with Y/N?” Wade got out before May could ask anything. She was taken aback, his his lighthearted, joke filled tone from the day gone, riddled with sadness.

“Of course, Wade. Come in?” May said gently, opening the door a little wider for him to enter as she turned around to go get Y/N.

Wade slowly entered, closing the door gently behind him. He looked around the apartment, smiling very faintly. It looked cozy and like a home. Compared to the apartment that awaited for both Wade and Y/N, depending on her reaction.

He could hear laughter. It was a combination of Y/N’s laughter mixed with Peter’s. His heart flew up into his throat practically at that.

Wade’s mind slowly started going into panic mode.

He shouldn’t have come, he would just ruin her night with her ‘he’s not my boyfriend, but if he would be his nickname would be honey bun because yes, dad, he’s that sweet.’

Wade heard May and Y/N conversing as she came from the hall from the far left of the door, Y/N freezing when she saw her father.

“Dad? What’s going on? I thought you’d be with Mom tonight..?” She questioned softly, her head tilted as May sent Wade a sad smile, probably knowing something was wrong, before she went back to navigate her way to the kitchen, probably to occupy Peter so he didn’t come out.

Y/N’s tone sent a dagger through his heart. He couldn’t break the news to her like this. 

She was just a kid. His kid. 

He didn’t want her to turn out like him at any point in her life. He didn’t want her to be without a mother. He didn’t want any of this to be a reality but here we are-

“Dad?” Y/N questioned again, carefully reaching a hand out to place on his arm as he just stared at her, the gears shifting around in his head.

Y/N carefully placed her other hand on his other arm to hold Wade steady as he swayed back and forth.

“She’s gone.” Easy. Simple. Filled with all the pain in the world.

Y/N just rose a brow in concern and started to rub at the damp fabric clinging to her father’s arms.

“She who? Mom? Did she go to the store after your rounds and hasn’t come back yet? She probably stopped at that one shop you both love-” Y/N was cut off with Wade’s harsh sigh before his hands went to rub at his eyes, ignoring the horrendous texture as his tears blurred his vision.

His heart couldn’t take the pain it was going through. Well, technically, it could, but that’s not the point.

Y/N was about to list off another thing that her mother could have gone before Wade finally spoke up.

“Sweetheart, no.” 

It was quick and firm, which was the complete opposite of their father-daughter relationship.

Y/N was taken back and moved her hands from her father’s arms, slowly crossing her arms over her chest.

Wade took a moment to notice she was wearing some dumb shirt you could buy from a tourist place. It had a white base with a bright yellow taxi and the ugly letters “I survived my trip to New York!” on it smack dab in the middle.

She doesn’t own that, does she?

His father instincts wanted to kick in and question who’s shirt it was, but he held it back.

“The drug lords I went after during rounds today.. they followed me back. I thought I had enough time to catch the bullet. I.. I thought I hit the fucker,” Wade spat, his voice faltering and cracking at the end of his sentence. Y/N’s face went from confusion to sadness, finally understanding what’s going on.

“It hit your mother,” Wade finished. Rip it off like a bandaid.

“You’re joking, right? This is a sick joke to scare me to leave the house, isn’t it?” Y/N said slowly, her eyes starting to sting from the sudden tears filling her eyes.

Wade saw how her eyes glossed over.

He wanted to rip his heart out of his chest.

“I-I..” Wade sighed and looked down at his boots he pulled on. “I kinda wish it was, but it’s not.”

Wade heard Y/N’s breath hitch before he let out a grunt the second she connected with his chest, her arms wrapped around his middle tightly.

His arms wrapped tightly around his daughter’s frame, finally lifting his head up to rest his chin on her head, his own eyes starting to gloss over.

The silence between them was filled with Y/N’s pained sobs in his chest.

Wade really wanted to crack, but he had to be strong for his girl.

Eventually, Wade had moved his head from the top of his daughters and moved one hand that was around her to wipe his eyes which was when she looked up at him with bloodshot eyes, seeming somewhat recovered.

“W-What are we going to do?” She questioned suddenly, Wade now feeling how tight she was clinging to his hoodie.

He sniffled in response at first. What were they going to do?

“I don’t know, sweetheart. I don’t know,” He concluded finally, shocked his own voice was even steady in the first place.

The both of them started to sway slightly as Wade could hear footsteps coming from the kitchen now.

“I just wanted to tell you, you had a right to know. I plan on heading back and figuring out what to do with her body-”

“She’s still in the apartment?!” Y/N whisper yelled, also hearing the footsteps as she ripped herself from her father's chest.

“What was I supposed to do?! Chuck her out the window with me when I chased down and killed the guy that shot her?” Wade hissed back before the footsteps stopped close to them.

“H-Hey, Mr. Wilson,” Peter said awkwardly, smiling shyly as he held two steaming mugs. Wade rose a brow as he looked at the boy, eyeing the mugs.

“Hey, Peter.” Wade forced a smile at the teen before reluctantly letting Y/N go and let out a soft sigh.

Y/N was quick to pull herself from her father’s arms and walk over to her boyfriend, sniffling as she gave him a small smile before taking a mug of hot chocolate.

“Thanks, Pete. I’ll be back in the kitchen in a sec, okay?” She said quickly, Peter giving her a reassuring smile and encouraging nod before he moved in to quickly kiss her cheek, awkwardly making his way back to the kitchen where his Aunt May resided.

Y/N turned back around to be met with Wade’s look that definitely looked smug.

“So you two are honey buns-”

“Oh my God, shut up,” Y/N insisted harshly as she sipped her mug before placing it on a close by coffee table, Wade letting out a hoarse chuckle.

“Two honey buns in one package? That’s a steal!”

Y/N let out a harsh sigh as a small smile grew on her face before moving back to wrap her arms around him and rest her head on his chest.

“You’re lucky I can’t think of a good come back,” Y/N mumbled Wade letting out a scoff.

“It’s just lazy writing on her end,” he reasoned, gently patting his daughter’s back before she moved her head slightly.

“Who’s lazy writing?”

Wade just huffed and shook his head fondly, moving a hand to cup Y/N’s cheek before dropping another small kiss to the middle of her forehead.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.”

[white-collar-lawmen-and-conmen]

Take Note

Summary: Neal gets a wake-up call that career criminals don’t make great life partners, and his girlfriend reassures him.

Words: 3,534

           Neal’s old friend Ryan (likely not his real name – but then, there was a lot Ryan “knew” about Neal that wasn’t real, either) was looking for a good authenticator for some job he was thinking of running. Neal passed on the offer when it subtly drifted his way with grace, saying modestly that it wasn’t his expertise, but invited him to catch up if he was ever in the city all the same. Ryan decided to take him up on it. Know your friends well and your enemies better and all that, and if Neal ever chose to go into business against Ryan, they both knew who had the edge.

           Other than his bad habit of siphoning someone’s investments into his own pockets, Ryan was a decent man. Gentlemanly, like Neal himself, and friendly for sure. He never ran his schemes out of malice, and never cared to raise his profits at the risk of someone getting hurt. He reasoned that financial harm was a lot different from physical danger, and although Neal wasn’t so certain the line was that thick – homelessness tended to put one at risk – he appreciated the necessity of an arms-length view. It wasn’t Ryan cocking the gun, so it wasn’t Ryan’s responsibility what happened after he was gone.

           They met at a coffee shop about as far from federal plaza as Neal could get within his radius. They served amazing pastries, which Neal used as his reasoning, and covered up the light from his tracker with a piece of black electrical tape. Anyone who didn’t already know about his deal didn’t need to find out.

           Ryan bought the excuse and couldn’t seem to put down his cranberry muffin. “You were right,” he said, looking over at the counter and seeming to consider whether or not he wanted another. “This is amazing.”

           Neal personally preferred the lemon loaf, and he ate his way through his own treat slower. “It’s the best in the neighborhood,” he reiterated mildly, popping a cool piece of fluffy, light yellow bread in his mouth and savoring the taste on his tongue. “My girlfriend loves their cinnamon rolls.”

           “Girlfriend?” Ryan wiggled his eyebrows at Neal lasciviously. Neal forced a little laugh to indulge the teasing. “Interesting. How long?”

           “We had our year-long anniversary a few months ago.” Neal smiled more genuinely as he remembered your cheerful, lighthearted date. You’d surprised each other with gifts you had denied planning, then spent most of the evening strolling in Central Park before going home together.

           Ryan whistled and polished off the last of his muffin, folding up the wrapper and setting it on top of his napkin. “A year. Caffrey’s monogamous.” He shook his head and Neal rolled his eyes. “Since when did you decide to settle?”

           “It doesn’t feel like settling when you have the right person.” Neal’s earnest response even caught himself by surprise. He was beginning to understand how Peter and Elizabeth had managed to stay invigorated and excited in their relationship rather than feeling stagnant after ten years of marriage. “I thought you knew that. How is Monica?”

           Not her real name, Neal was sure – Ryan had hesitated too long before sharing. They’d been together for three years when the conmen first crossed paths in Las Vegas.

           “God knows,” Ryan grumbled. Neal arched an eyebrow and he explained, “She left me. Fine by me,” he quickly added, “I don’t have to keep pretending I like her scrappy dog.”

           “I’m sorry,” Neal said, genuinely empathetic. Most of his contacts’ partners were either in the business themselves, or completely oblivious to what their lovers were up to. Monica had been one of the rare exceptions he knew of, and Ryan had been really happy to strike compromises to keep his lifestyle and the woman he had been over the moon for.

           “This life… it’s not something you can share with your friends at the PTA, man. I guess she wanted something more predictable.” The blond said ‘predictable’ with the same face that Neal made whenever he ended up drinking Peter’s cheap beer.

           After spending so long together, Neal would have assumed Monica knew and could handle the reality of being involved with men like themselves, but evidently not. It made him shift in his chair as he thought about you. He thought you were happy with him now, but it was only a matter of time before something from his past would come back to slap him in the face, and if you weren’t on board with that then no one would blame you for leaving him, an ex-con with a list of alleged crimes a mile long.

           Neal couldn’t imagine losing you to something he couldn’t change. Being a criminal had been a blast, until it got him in Sing Sing with Adler’s target on his and Kate’s backs. Now he wanted to be a better – or at least a safer – man. None of that could take away that he was firmly entrenched in the criminal underworld, and whether he went back to his old habits or followed Peter’s wishes and stayed on the “right” side, there were ramifications.

           Ryan snorted. “What are we, eight? Enough about girls.”

           The conversation moved away from their personal lives, which was just as well – Neal liked keeping his private. They discussed the hypotheticals of Ryan’s upcoming “event” and Neal tried to subtly discourage him from putting it into motion in New York, but if his old friend insisted, then it would probably show up on the artist’s desk in the bureau and Ryan would be reminded of one of the most important rules of conmen – don’t ever fully trust anyone.

~~~ Take Note ~~~

           As he laid in bed at three in the morning, very conscious of your presence on the bed, Neal struggled to think of anyone in his network who had a long-term partner that stayed. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but June and Byron had been the exception, not the rule.

           The thief turned his head to look at you, sleeping soundly in his arms, and kissed your forehead tenderly, leaving his lips pressed against your skin. Your hair smelled like his mellow, fruit-scented shampoo and the weight of your head on his bicep was a familiar and comforting sensation. You had more or less moved in, and Neal fell asleep faster with you than without you.

           It wasn’t as if Neal was the poster child for healthy relationships. Kate fell in love with him while he was pretending to be a completely different man, and Sara spent their brief fling continually teasing-but-not-really about stolen art. Amis-amants, she had agreed to call them. Friends. Not partners, friends. The only other woman who stood out in his history of flirtation and serial monogamy was Alex, and whatever they had been, they certainly were never really partners.

           The proof was right there, as clear as day in his head, that conmen and thieves didn’t get to have long-term partners. Mozzie had been single since long before Neal met him, Monica left Ryan, and he knew no one in the game who wore a wedding ring. Relationships ended before they got that far, even for those who were far better at being partners than Neal.

           Against those conclusions, though, Neal set you – his lover, his best friend, and his partner. You liked calling Neal your partner. It was how you introduced him. You said that the boyfriend label didn’t quite cover it anymore. Hearing your voice happily declare his importance to you – “this is my partner, Neal” – made him smile involuntarily while a thread of possessive pride made his heart flutter.

           He tightened his arms gently around you to comfort himself. He was a conman with a subpar romantic resumé, but you were still here, you were happy. You’d told him that you loved him and given him a goodnight kiss only hours ago. Neal just… he needed to talk to you. He needed to know you understood what his past meant for your future together, and he needed to know that you were still looking forward to that future.

~~~ Take Note ~~~

           Neal wanted nothing more than to have an honest, candid discussion with you about his concerns, but even though his brain kept telling him that yes, it really was that easy, everything else in him screamed against it. Admitting he was concerned meant showing you a vulnerability. He didn’t think you would see a weak spot and attack, but some stupid part of his ego scolded him that you didn’t want a weak partner.

           The words finally found a way out on a Saturday evening while you were sitting in a hot bath, the water so warm that your skin was pinking a little. When you had extra time and not a lot of energy, this was what you did together after showering. You sat between Neal’s thighs and leaned back against his chest while he set his chin on top of your stringy, damp hair and held his arms around your waist. The fact that you were facing away from him made it less scary to talk about feelings that made him feel less secure.

           “Y/N,” he said, slowly drawing his thumb across your stomach, “If you weren’t happy, would you tell me and give us a chance to fix it?”

           “Of course,” you replied almost instantly, shifting your head with surprise. “That’s how relationship-ing works, Neal.”

           Not in my experience, he didn’t say. He knew his experiences weren’t the norm. When Alex wasn’t happy, she disappeared for a few months to who knew where. When it was Sara, they broke up without hardly trying.

           “I don’t have the best track record with these things,” Neal confessed with a bit of embarrassment. He was officially in his thirties and he was only now in his first solid relationship. “Y/N, you – you’re the first one I’ve really – in the real world. No pretenses, no ulterior motives from either of us.”

           “I know,” you said. He couldn’t see your face, but you sounded like you were smiling, and you nuzzled your head against his neck. “And that’s okay. You’re trying. We’re trying together, because we’re a team. That’s the important thing.”

           Neal bowed his head, pressing his cheek to the side of yours and shutting his eyes. He paid attention to your body against his, smaller but strong. He felt so at home, and he didn’t feel any need to try reading between your words. You said what you meant, and he didn’t feel the urge to analyze you. It was such a nice, relaxing little haven to have a home where he could let his guard down and feel totally safe.

           “Is there something in particular you’re worried about?” You asked when he didn’t respond, your tone worried now but still diplomatic. “Or anything you want to talk about?”

           He sighed and laid his lips against your temple for a second before he briefly explained that he had met an old acquaintance for coffee. He phrased it delicately so that you would know exactly what kind of acquaintance it was and didn’t ask too many uncomfortable questions. Neal relayed how this seemingly perfect couple had been devotedly in love for several years, then the civilian had finally decided she couldn’t handle her partner being in the criminal lifestyle and left.

           “I’ll admit, it’s a little awkward when my friends and family ask about you,” you admitted when he was done. “I usually mislead them, actually. There’s so much context and very few people are willing to really listen to it after they hear “ex-con”. Even my best friends think you’re a voluntary consultant.”

           Neal had never really thought about what your friends were told before, but that made him wince. This didn’t sound like a very good answer.

           “But,” you said with emphasis, gently squeezing his hands under the water. “Their knowledge and opinions aren’t the most important. Mine are. I don’t condone the choices you’ve made in the past, and I don’t think Peter was wrong to arrest you.” Your voice was apologetic but firm. Neal thought that was probably fair. “However, I’ve gotten to know you very well, I think, and there’s a lot more to you than a runaway with an eye for shiny things and a knack for planning around security cameras. Especially since prison,” you added, your last sentence softer.

           “You know that someone from my past came and took Elizabeth. Kidnapped her,” Neal explicitly rephrased.

           “Yeah,” you said with a shrug. “That happens. Bad people do bad things. Maybe being with you makes me more likely to be a target for those bad things, but that’s my choice. I love you, and I think you’re worth that risk. I admire the man you’ve grown into. Besides, we both know I’m not a hapless victim.”

           “If you were upset about something with… that part of my life,” Neal slowly said, tactfully avoiding any red flag words. “I wouldn’t want you to assume I can’t change.”

           “I know you can change,” you replied matter-of-factly with pride. “James Bonds wouldn’t have confessed to major crimes to feds for the possibility of having a stable life with friends and a nine-to-five. You did, not that long ago. It was risky and arguably stupid as hell, but it paid off.” You hummed with your head tilted slightly. “Maybe people don’t really change,” you amended, “But they do mature.”

           Neal pursed his lips, unsure he liked that word. “You think I’ve matured.”

           “I know you have. You can’t live through the things you’ve endured without maturing. No one can.”

           “For the better?”

           You stretched your neck and kissed his cheek. “Absolutely. I understand your concerns, love, and I promise if it becomes a problem, I’ll tell you, we’ll work on it. For the time being, I’m okay with the arrangement we have. I promise.”

~~~ Take Note ~~~

           Neal woke up on a Monday morning on his own, a few minutes before his alarm was set to ring. He looked up at the ceiling, luxuriating in the soft sheets underneath his bare back and the mold of his soft pillow around his head. After a moment, he rolled to his side and turned off the alarm function before it unnecessarily blared and found a light blue post-it note stuck on the edge of the table. He peeled it up and read your handwriting, telling him you had to leave early, but loved him very much and hoped he had a good day.

           He touched your side of the bed with a smile on his face. The linens were cool, but not as cold as the rest of the bed. You’d been gone a while. He sighed, content, and stretched out like a starfish before getting out of bed to put on some coffee.

           The artist ambled to the kitchen in his pajama bottoms, his bare feet padding across chilled hardwood flooring. He checked for the green light on the dishwasher before pulling out the coffee pot and setting it underneath the coffeemaker. After adding filtered water, he reached into the cabinet over the counter for his favorite bag of European coffee grounds and pulled it down with an additional crinkling of paper.

           There was another post-it stuck to his coffee, with a winking face drawn on it in sharpie underneath another little note. I love the taste of coffee on your lips when we kiss. – Your Y/N.

           He quietly chuckled and decided to leave the note on the coffee bag. It would make him smile tomorrow morning, too.

           While the coffee brewed, he went about his normal routine, taking a quick trip to the bathroom to rinse with minty mouthwash and brush his teeth, comb the tangles out of his short hair, and shave the stubble off of his jaw. Slapped onto the side of the mirror at a little below his eye level was another note in pale yellow.

           Check out your eyes in the mirror, gorgeous, because I love your beautiful eyes and how much affection they hold when you look at me. – Your Y/N.

           He couldn’t stop smiling, which was somewhat problematic when trying to shave.

           Neal went back out to the kitchen and poured a mug of coffee, adding a bit of creamer in to help it cool down faster and to take the edge off of the bitter flavor. As he stirred it in with a little red mixer, he walked to his dresser to pull out clothes for the day.

           A flash of pink against navy blue caught his eye and he moved his clothes to the side until he reached his pinstriped suit with the dark vest you liked so much. He chuckled before reading the note, already knowing what you were oh-so-subtly hinting at, and lifted the suit out of the closet while peeling up the post-it.

           You’re so handsome that sometimes I almost get jealous of myself for getting to have you. – Your Y/N.

           The rest of his routine was peppered with notes that must have taken you a while to write and place where you knew he would find them. He finished his coffee and had breakfast, finding a couple of notes in other places in the kitchen. Then, after his shower, he found a smaller post-it pressed to his favorite cologne. There was another tucked into his wallet which he found when he double-checked that he had his ID and enough cash for lunch.

           The notes ranged from that playfully sweet comment on his looks to tender, meaningful reminders of precious moments you had shared together. The one in his wallet encouraged him to do good at work today, because “you help people because you have such a kind heart.” They were all signed “your Y/N,” promising him with every single note that you weren’t going anywhere.

~~~ Take Note ~~~

           You came home late that night after seeing a new movie with a friend of yours. You normally went to the cinema with Neal, but he wasn’t super into action-packed movies with explosives and guns, so he passed on it. By the time you came back, Neal had found more post-its in innocuous places, like tucked into the pages of the book he was reading, stuck on the bottom of the television remote, slapped onto the wall above the washing machine, and more.

           Neal’s heart kept fluttering and he felt like it was your first or second date all over again. Each note had come from your heart, warm and genuine. You said that you admired his clever brain and his curiosity, his thirst to learn (with another note on one of his atlases that it was sexy when he spoke to you in other languages).

           You said, in no uncertain terms, that whatever he may have done in the past, you were far more impressed by his peaceful soul and his willingness to protect those who needed it. (As he read that note, Lindsay Gless came to mind.) You had never felt safer than when you were in his arms.

           Another yellow post-it told him that he had earned your trust. This note was longer than the others, because it acknowledged that others had erroneously believed the same in the past, but you explained in carefully-chosen words that you loved him, and you were willing to take that risk on behalf of the good man, deserving of love and trust and partnership, that you honestly believed him to be.

           “Love, I’m home,” you cheerfully called, taking off your shoes and dropping them by the door.

           Neal stood up from the couch and wrapped you up in his arms while you instantly relaxed against his chest. He rubbed a hand over your back and kissed the top of your head before he felt your hands at his cheeks, and he happily let you move his head so you could press several kisses to his lips.

           “I love you, my Y/N,” he said, slipping his fingers through yours and gently keeping your smaller hand against his face. “Are you the more romantic one now?” He teased a little. You used to rib him for being such a romantic, but he couldn’t help that he liked to be sweet.

           Your smile was innocent, but your eyes were not. “I have no idea what you mean,” you lied plainly, but you gave him another, deeper kiss. “But if being romantic means being totally crazy about you, then oops. You caught me.”

~~~ Take Note ~~~

           A few hours later, you came back from the bathroom to find Neal getting dressed for bed and a lime green post-it note stuck on the screen of your phone. You stole a glance at your boyfriend’s back with a smile playing across your lips, but he was focused – or at least pretending to be – on combing the product out of his hair.

           You picked up your phone and after reading the note, you decided to leave it on, at least until the morning.

           I swear that I’ll spend the rest of our lives together proving to you that I am worthy of your trust, your time, and your love. I love you so, so much. – Your Neal.

[prettylittlegossipgleek]

Dear PLL fandom,

I had no idea what I was getting myself into seven years ago on June 8, 2010 when the Pilot episode of Pretty Little Liars aired. I hadn’t read the books and I definitely hadn’t watched anything religiously on ABC Family. There was Greek, but that was on and off and no other original show on the network was able to captivate me.

My favorite show Smallville announced its final season, Gossip Girl was in between the 3rd and 4th season and another favorite, Glee, was finishing its first season.  But let’s face it, I was turning 21 and still much into those teenage, coming of age shows. Plus, Ashley Benson was my favorite (and still is). And as a huge fan, I had to support my girl!

https://twitter.com/itsadeleee/status/15542729584

So then the day came, the Pilot began and I was hooked. It started with 4 young girls starting a new school year one year after the leader of their pack went missing. The episode introduced us to the characters we’ve loved for seven seasons.

We were first introduced to Aria Montgomery, the artsy girl who went through a little goth phase, returning to Rosewood after one year in Iceland with her family. During that year, she held on to one huge secret: her dad’s affair with his student. Things also get complicated when she hooked up with her future English teacher, Ezra Fitz. The eye contact the two share during the revelation was one of the most iconic scenes of the series.

Next came Emily Fields, the sweet girl on the swim team, with the popular jock boyfriend.  I’d like to think she was part of a conservative family, with her mom part of the neighborhood welcoming committee and her father in the army. Life gets a little complicated when she is constantly reminded of [her love for] Alison, while a new girl moves into Alison’s old house. Sexuality is questioned and in a small town like Rosewood, that’s unheard of.

Spencer Hastings then graced us with her presence. She was almost the epitome of overachiever. With the Hastings name, you’ve got to be especially with Melissa Hastings as an older sister. Spencer was the girl involved with everything, intelligent and outspoken. She was striving for good grades to get into an ivy league college and follow in the footsteps of her lawyer parents. But then she strayed away from the perfection, when Melissa’s boyfriends decided that she may be the better Hastings daughter.

And then there was Hanna Marin, formally known as “Hefty Hanna”, who transformed over one summer to become one of the most popular girls in school. She lived in the shadow of Alison DiLaurentis. Getting body shamed by her “close” friend, her confidence and self esteem was low. Her father leaving her and her mom didn’t help, either. So Hanna’s motto was practically, “new year, new me” and with her new popular girl title along with a trusty sidekick, Mona Vanderwaal, she was able to step out of Alison’s shadow. But the whole problem was maintaining her top spot and getting the attention she longed for. Hanna Marin will always be my favorite character.

What did those 4 girls have in common? Alison DiLaurentis, the girl who knew all of their secrets. However, she was the girl they knew nothing about. She was the glue to the group up until she disappeared, but that suddenly changed when “Alison’s body” was found and an anonymous stalker decides to start playing mind games with the girls. Alison’s “death” brings the girls back together and just like that the Pilot set the whole premise of the show.

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For seven years, Pretty Little Liars ruled social media. They’re practically known to be the most social television show on air, with so much social media engagement from fans. It’s safe to say that it was the pioneer of trending topics when it came to TV shows and live tweeting along around the world. It allowed fans and those involved with the show to communicate with each other. Every Tuesday since it has aired, fans have been able to get PLL trending with hashtags like #PLL, #WhoIsA, #betrAyal, #WorldWarA, #Poor[Insert character name], etc. And of course the main hashtag for this season, #PLLEndGame, which tailored not only to the game, but obviously to the PLL relationships. #Ezria, #Spoby, #Haleb, & #Emison. I was only a year into Twitter by the time the show aired, and it definitely had me talking and more active on the web. The downside was all the spoilers. But I didn’t have an issue – I absolutely loved/love spoilers.

I think people have learned over the years, that if you don’t want to be spoiled, you better stay off social media until you watch the episodes. It’s so much more fun to live tweet. That’s why I ended up having a separate twitter just for that fact.

https://twitter.com/itsadeleee/status/18467153256

Since the Pilot, I’ve stuck through it and my obsession for television grew stronger as I dedicated a new Tumblr to my love for entertainment: PrettyLittleGossipGleek. The name was fitting for me as it was three shows on air that I absolutely loved that made me feel more like me. I started to make gifs and fanart of my favorite moments, something I enjoyed doing and something that kept my mind off of reality. One time TvGuide used one of my gifs, #ganstAtoby, and to this day, I’m very proud of it. HAHA

Pretty Little Liars always had me at the edge of my seat with all the cliffhangers and kept my mind going, thinking of all the possible outcomes to the question,”Who is A?” I think that anything that gives you several mind f**ks is worth watching.

I watch a lot of television, and very rarely do I dream about them. Pretty Little Liars was an exception. I dreamt about running away from “A”, so obviously the show managed to sneak it’s way into my sub conscience.

But enough about me..

To the endgame couples —

Ezria: For a long time you were my favorite #PLL couple. The chemistry was unreal. I’ll never forget the first time Aria and Ezra met and the look of shock a few days later in Mr. Fitz’ English class. You were a forbidden love, like Romeo and Juliet, sneaking behind everyone’s back. It was starting to get toxic because you were holding each other back. And then the love story took a turn when Ezra was revealed to be stalking the girls for inspiration for a novel. True feelings were tested and you both entered intoseveral other relationship, but in the end you found your way back to each other. To all the haters, stop. It started off as a relationship based on lies, but the truth is that they make each other happy.

Spoby: Your relationship didn’t start from the beginning and I think that’s what drew me in to you. I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t love Alex for Spencer in the first season. I loved them and their somewhat forbidden love, but Alex left and the relationship with Toby came out of nowhere.  As I rewatched the first season, it’s clear that Spencer had strong negative feelings towards Toby. Toby was that creepy bad boy that hardly said a word, so it’s understandable. He was a suspect in the murder of Alison DiLaurentis for goodness sake. That didn’t go well with a lot of people, but Spencer, you sympathized with him and gave him a chance. Sure, you took a French tutoring job just to find answers about Alison, but I’m sure you didn’t expect to fall in love with Toby. I’m sure you didn’t expect to even like or understand him. A part of me thanks Emily for somewhat bringing you two together. When your relationship was threatened by “A”, you kind of gave up easily. You both tried to protect each other, doing things that broke the trust you built. Eventually you grew up and realized maybe you weren’t meant to be in each other’s future as a significant other. Your break up was by far the worst. It broke my heart the most, especially with the possibility that you weren’t endgame. But fate has a funny way of working and in the end, you two still shared a love for each other. That’s all that matters. In my head you make it. You were #RelationshipGoals.

Emison: You made it from beginning to end, but not without the ups and downs and occasional mind games. Emily was always so sure of her feelings for Alison. The latter not so much. Honestly, I was never really a fan of any of Emily’s girlfriends (well maybe Samara because I love Claire Holt). I always thought that Alison would one day return Emily’s feelings. But I admit, it was an unhealthy relationship. When they were young, Alison always led Emily on. She gave her hope that wasn’t really there. I mean, Alison always had Emily wrapped around her finger and Emily constantly forgave the girl. But that’s the thing about Emily, she sees the best in people and gives them [constant] chances even if they do her wrong. Although the pregnancy was pretty messed up, I’m happy that it brought the two of you together along with two cute Emison babies. Along with some instigating from Paige, it helped Alison realize her feelings for her best friend. That proposal was the cutest thing because come on…I think we all thought Emily would’ve been the one to propose. AND how cute was it that Pam gave Alison her blessing? I guess you could say you’re soulmates.

Haleb: I remember when you two first met. You were practically bickering like an old married couple and to this day you still do. Only difference is that you’re actually married now! You know what they say, opposites attract. Your relationship basically started on a lie though, with Caleb acting as Jenna’s spy. But just like Spoby, falling in love probably wasn’t part of the plan. When Caleb ran away to Ravenswood, I wasn’t sure if he’d be back (I liked Ravenswood and thought maybe it would go on longer). You were on and off and like the others, you grew up. Life got in the way. Your different lifestyles got in the way. For a short time I liked Spaleb. It was a random relationship and it caused a strain on other relationships. But the thing about Caleb is that he’s loyal and will do everything in his power to protect the people he loves and I love him for that. I love him for loving and protecting Hanna. It took me a while, but watching season 7, I finally appreciated the relationship that is Haleb. Also, I always think about how both of them were on Days of Our Lives, at different times.

To my favorite guy, Ezra Fitz: You will always be my favorite English teacher. You were straight out of college, nerdy and adorable AF. You played the girls for a little and I was Aria when the truth was revealed. But I forgave you. How can I not? I feel like you’re the one guy who had the most secrets. Maybe it’s the mystery that is Ezra Fitzgerald that captivated me because even though the series has ended, I still feel like you’re hiding something. On a side note, I miss your brother Wesley.

  To my favorite villain, Mona Vanderwaal: I love you, I really do. I could never really hate you. Even though you were the first “A” to start the game, I still couldn’t dislike you. You’re intelligent. You think outside the box. You’re prepared and detail oriented. Jealousy seeped through your blood and you wanted to be accepted. You just wanted to be loved. You went too far, but somehow you still managed to wiggle your way back inside, even though the others hardly trusted you. I trusted you many times because I didn’t know what else to think about you. I trusted you because I know you wanted to protect your “friends”. Ultimately, someone stole the game from you and you were determined to win. Your passion and drive is probably what I admire the most. In the end, I couldn’t decipher whose side you were on, but you won and got your happy ending. You’re no longer Loser Mona. You were never a loser though, just misunderstood.

To my favorite character, Hanna Marin: I see myself in you the most. Your back story hit me hardest. To this day, I still have low self esteem when it comes to my body image. But I’d like to think I’m good at faking it. You came from a broken family and you faked it til you made it. You wanted this sense of love and acceptance and it took a while for you to feel that. But you learned to love yourself and you learned to say what you feel. There were so many layers to you and I’m glad we were able to see them unravel over the seasons. You may not have been book smart, but you were street smart. You made me laugh many times. But you were also the source of my tears as I watched PLL. I never liked to see you being tortured or hurt. It broke my heart every time because you didn’t deserve any of it. The thing I admire most about you is your loyalty to your friends, no matter how many times you got hurt. Also, I wish I had your passion for fashion and all your OOTDs. 🙂

  To my favorite actress, Ashley Benson: BENZOooO. You’ve been my favorite forever. I mean, you were practically the reason why I started watching PLL. From being Abby Deveraux on DOOL to Carson on Bring It On: In It to Win It, I followed you on to your biggest project yet. We’re the same age, so in a weird sense I feel like we grew up together and a part of me wishes I was part of your #SQUAD. I was able to meet you once and it remains one of my favorite moments ever in my almost 28 years of existence. You were the sweetest person ever and i’m not just saying this because I love you. I absolutely adore your sense of humor, your style, your personality and the way you love and support your family/friends, Olive, and Walter. I absolutely adore YOU. Thank you for being my inspiration to do the things I love. Thank you for playing a character I absolutely love and connect with. Thank you for doing that epic dance scene in Season 5. And thank you for just being you and allowing us fans into your world. I love you!

To A.D, you’re awful. What kind of person wants to get rid of their twin sister so they can live in their shoes? All the awards to Troian Bellisario for bringing not just one great character, but two. Sure, Spencer and Alex looked alike, but they were so different and you were able to portray that to us viewers. The only similar thing I see between the two, is the yearning to be part of a family.

To the WHOLE cast, it’s been quite the 7 years, hasn’t it? You all practically grew up in the show, especially Sasha. To think she was only 13 when she shot the Pilot! Even I feel like i’ve grown up with you all. And then in Season 5 you started playing characters closer to your age and it felt even more relatable. Not that I have a stalker in my life, but just the fact that you were all in your twenties trying to figure out life. I lived vicariously through each and every one of you, through the drama and relationships. Thank you for bringing these characters to life and not giving up on your fans. Not only did people fall in love with your characters, but with you as actors. Even though things were so dramatic on cam, off camera you brought us some great BTS laughter and fun. It’s so great to see actors and actresses who have been on the show continue to do awesome projects. There’s a reason this show stuck around for so long and you all are why.

To the directors, writers, producers, and crew behind it all: First off, thank you Sara Shepard. Without you there would be no Pretty Little Liars. Your mind and creativity came up with this whole universe. You had these characters and constant mystery that captivated your audience. And I thank you for that. I hope one day I’ll get to reading all the books! Marlene King, thank you for bringing the books to screen. I’m pretty sure that this was one of the most popular book to tv adaptation. Thank you for taking that risk and bringing the whole team together to create the magic that is PLL. I can’t wait to see what else you have in store. And to the rest of the team behind PLL, thank you for the dedication and hard work you put behind the scenes to make sure the viewers got the best experience. From the set, the costume design, the score, the props…you all made PLL the iconic show that it is. Also, shout out to Lisa and Romy for putting up with Ashley and Shay all the time. 😛

It’s been two weeks since the show ended and I meant to post this a few days after, but I just never got to finish it until now. I think a part of me still doesn’t think Pretty Little Liars has ended. I mean, there’s so much that could happen after that finale. Alex and Mary Drake could escape Mona- I’m sure Detective Tanner is wondering where Mary Drake disappeared to and she’s a closer remember? I mean, I’m pretty excited to see the PLL reunion in the future.  It’s an iconic show and will be for many years to come. PLL’s impact in popular culture should not be underestimated.

I can’t wait to see and support each of the cast members in their next projects, but I’m sure nothing will ever replace the love I have for Pretty Little Liars.

To whole PLL fandom, thank you for your passion.

What show should I recap now?

xoxo,

Adele

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Twitter: @itsadeleee / @adeleLIVETWEETS Instagram: @itsadeleee / @prettylittlegossipgleek Tumblr: @prettylittlegossipgleek

It's over. - A (A farewell post to Pretty Little Liars) #PLL @PLLTVSeries Dear PLL fandom, I had no idea what I was getting myself into seven years ago on June 8, 2010 when the Pilot episode of 

[onelastfic]

Candy, Kisses, & Elevator Sex (John x Reader x Alex)

A/N: Here's my Valentine's Day Special! Sorry it took so long, got into my writing zone and just couldn't stop! Hope you enjoy! You opened your eyes enjoying the feeling of refreshment that you didn't usually get from just waking up. You snatched your phone off the bedside charger to check the time. "CRAP!" You overslept! Springing out of bed, you ripped off your pajamas as you bolted to the bathroom to get ready. Half an hour later you were dressed at least semi-well and running to catch the train to work. If you gave it your all you might be able to make it to work on time. Panting for air, you held your travel cup of bitter black coffee in your hand and a pop tart in your other. They balanced in your grip as the station came into your sights. Just a few blocks away, the heel of one of your pumps caught itself on a crack in sidewalk and made you crash onto the cement. It was food and drink massacre. The frosting from the pop tart smeared on the sleeve of your coat. The force of the tumble popped the top off your mug and coffee spilled everywhere. Your knees and palms had been scraped and bruised along with your ego. Getting back on your feet, you found that your heel was finished. Limping the rest of the blocks to the station, you purchased a ticket and struggled up the stairs to the boarding platform before the train arrived. You slumped in the farthest corner of the train and sighed wondering if the day could get any worse. Then your phone vibrated. It was a text from your boyfriend, Sam. He must sent you a Happy Valentine's Day text message. He was so sweet. You unlocked your phone to look at the message, excited that it must be about your plans for tonight. He said he had a surprise for you! Sammy Sea-bunny: Salutations (Y/N). I'm sorry to inform you that I have fallen in love with someone else. I'm regret that I couldn't tell you in person. Hope we can still be friends. You stared at your phone. The pain in your knees and palms from your fall overshadowed by the pain you were feeling in your heart. You couldn't believe it. You already made reservations at an exclusive resort in California for your vacation in June. You had planned to London for his birthday. You quickly replied back. You: Eat a dick, asshole. You silenced your phone and shoved it into the deepest part of your purse. It was all too much for you to take especially on a day without your daily coffee and breakfast. One more thing and you'd lose it. You just needed to make it through one work day and later you can cry over a glass of wine and your emergency chocolate stash. — Standing in front of the silver elevator doors in your bare feet, you waited impatiently for the doors to open. About two blocks into your walk from the train station, you decided to forsake your heels and go bare foot because it was better than limping around. Luckily you kept an extra pair of sandals in your desk that would get you through the day. You didn't have any client meetings and had just treated yourself to a pedicure, so your feet looked fabulous. The doors finally opened and a bunch of people pushed past you. You stepped in and pressed the button for the fiftieth floor. Behind you came in two younger men. One pushed a cart full of dozens of assorted floral bouquets and Valentine's baskets. You glanced from one handsome face to the next. Ugh. They were attractive to say the least. Nice features, full lips, young faces, slender bodies, and it looked like they had some well-defined muscles underneath their clothes. You licked your lips and looked away. Not like you wanted anything to do with the male species ever again, but looking didn't count right? The taller one and the one close to you were dressed in jeans and blue t-shirts, his jacket tied around his slender waist. He pushed the button for the sixtieth floor and met your eye. He gave you a small smirk like he knew you were staring. You scowled in reply, looking at the doors in front of you. Screw pretty boys and the rest of their kind. Out of the corner of your eye you could spot him looking you over. You quickly felt the urge to explain why you were carrying your shoes but pushed it away. You didn't need to explain yourself to anyone, especially two guys in a elevator. You sighed and closed your eyes as the elevator began to move up. Soon you'd be in your cubicle, put on your flip-flops, and get some high calorie sugar treat and crappy coffee from the vending machine area. The guys behind you were talking about something, but you were honestly too busy thinking about whether to get a cinnamon bun and powdered donuts when a strange screeching sound came from above. The three of them looked at each other that sound was obviously not normal. Then, came a loud clicking followed by one weird bang and then elevator completely halted. “What the hell was that?!” said the short guy. He walked over and pressed his floor button a few times. “I don’t know but it doesn’t sound good,” said his friend. His hands buried in his jean pockets as he leaned into the corner of the elevator, legs crossed nervously. He wore the same blue t-shirt with matching logo on the front. Same as the other guy. You could make out the design more clearly now. Washington Floral Co. That was the local flower shop a few blocks over. You had seen their bouquets in the building before. “Please don’t tell me we’re stuck in here,” you whispered. You walked over to the control panel. “Of all days, why'd it have to do today?” You pressed the emergency call button. A voice came over the speaker. “Peggy here.” “Hello. Um… I think the elevator stopped.” “Can you tell me which one miss?” You looked at the two boys but they both shrugged their shoulders. “Uh… the one not moving. Isn't there some kind of master panel or something?” You asked, rubbing your forehead. “I think it's the middle one on the left, maybe. Or it could be the right?” “Alright, I’ll contact maintenance and get someone on it. Sit tight. We’ll have you out in a jiffy~.” “I hope they hurry up. We've got a ton of deliveries to make today,” said the short guy as he flung his jacket onto the bottom of the cart. He ran a hand through his dark locks and you wondered at how it was possible for it to look even better tousled. “John, better call Mrs.W, tell her what’s going on.” John dialed up whoever Mrs.W was and turned to face the far wall for privacy. Which wasn’t really that private since they were trapped in an elevator. You caught sight of his firm backside and did a double take. Following along his waist up to his shoulders where his t-shirt was stretched taut by the muscles in his back, curving over his shoulders and hugging the muscles in his arms. He had a nice swimmers body type. Your stomach flipped and you snapped your head away. You tried to focus on playing on your phone instead, looking at the time. Only five minutes had passed. Everything was being handled right? They’d be out in fifteen minutes tops, right? You took a deep breath and jammed your hands in your pockets hoping the rescue would come fast. Twenty more minutes went by and Peggy's voice finally came back. “Hello ma’am?” You rushed up to talk near the mic. Not that you needed to but it felt awkward just talking into air. “I’m here.” “It’s going to be a little longer than we thought. Seems there a computer malfunction and we have to get the tech guys. It’ll be awhile.” “Peggy?” You waited for her to reply but got nothing. “Peggy! How long is awhile?” “I’d say at least an hour or two. However, traffic is pretty bad today. Could be three.” “Three hours!” “Sorry ma’am. You got company or are you by yourself?” You looked at the two boys. “There’s two other people in here with me. But don’t you have cameras?” “Yep, but they’ve been out of order for weeks now. Some parts on back order. Always something isn’t it?” she laughed. You on the other hand didn’t feel like laughing one bit. You backed up to the elevator's wall and dropped to the floor, looking at the small square you were trapped in. The walls were closing in, seeming to get thinner. Three hours. You would have to sit here for three whole hours at the least. The events of the day hitting you like a ton of bricks. You buried your face in your hands and that’s when the flood gates broke. A slow trickle at first, until both eyes gushed salty tears and you sat there sobbing into your hurt hands. “Hey now. Being in an elevator with the two of us isn’t all that bad, is it?” said a voice from the other side of the room. You gave sniffle, peeking between the strands of hair that cascaded in front of your eyes. The tall one in the corner had sat down as well and was scooting up closer to you. Oh my gosh! You had finally reached rock bottom, crying your eyes out in a elevator in front of two hot guys. Squeezing your eyes tight and hiding your face more, wishing you could just disappear. “Are you okay,” he asked, gently touching your leg and quickly looked up. You saw his deep brown eyes and freckles staring at you, through those sweet dark lashes, worried. “We won’t be in here forever you know.” You shook your head. “It’s not that.” You pulled up the text from Sam, holding it out for the stranger to see. “Holy shit.” He gave your leg a firm squeeze. “I’m so sorry. That sucks and today of all days.” “What sucks?” Alex knelt down next to them and freckles showed him the phone. “Woah. That's a crappy way to start the day, huh?” “You have no idea,” you said, telling them about the rest of your morning. “So that's the reason you weren’t wearing shoes. I’m Alex by the way and this big lug is John. We deliver for the florist not too far from here to help out with college expenses.” “(Y/N). I work in the building. Shouldn't you have classes now?” “Yeah, but we’re skipping because we make a shit-ton of cash on Valentine’s Day.” You couldn't help but smile. “I bet.” Alex's eyebrows creased. “Listen, don’t worry about that Sam-I-Am guy. You got it goin’ on and deserve way better than that ass.” You blushed, never could take a compliment. “I couldn’t take my eyes off you when you first walked in and I was so nervous when you caught me.” “Stop it,” You giggled. “But thanks.” “I have an idea,” said John, his eyes sparkling with playfulness. “This guy has the best ideas.” “Let’s see what Miss floor 60 has in one of her baskets?” “No way! We can’t do that!” You protested. “Don’t worry about it,” said John, waving you off. “She has most of the cart. Besides our boss will give the guy a refund. Say it was a delivery problem because of an elevator problem. Which is technically right.” He smiled, sporting two dimples on either side of his smile. He must of got a lot of tips with that smile. “She must be a pret-ty busy woman,” said John with a huge grin. You looked at the cart full of sweets and swallowed. Then you looked at the two men across from you, heat traveling down your body. You decided to ignore it by fiddling with your skirt. Alex jumped up and walked over to the cart, scanning over the gifts that Miss 60 received. “This one.” He held up a basket. There was nothing special or fancy about the packaging. It appears to be the simplest one. “No card and nothing special about it, she'll never notice it's gone.” The two guys ripped open the basket packaging like kids on Christmas. You shook your head as they pulled out some of the stuff inside. John picked up a bottle of champagne from the basket. “Looks like we have something to drink!” He tore off the gold wrapping and popped the cork with ease. The basket didn't include glasses, so the three of you had to make do without. John held out the bottle to you. “Ladies first, of course.” You took it and raised it up. “Cheers and Happy Valentine’s Day to us.” Putting the bottle to your mouth and letting the liquid glide down your throat. You passed it off to John, brushing fingertips in the exchange. Pleasure tingled between your legs. Your eyes met and a slow smile curved his lips making your nipples tighten. What was happening? You had gotten dumped, then two guys come along, and you were all in an extremely enclosed space. John took three swigs, licking his lips as he looked at you, and then handed the bottle to Alex, who pulled out a box of chocolates. “Anyone up for some free chocolate?” “Yes please.” You raised your hand. Finally you'd get some food in you. Alex was about to pass the box to you but John put a hand in front to stop him. He leaned over and whispered something in Alex's ear. You couldn't hear but Alex nodded and grinned as they whispered to each other, then they turned to you. “Sooo, you can have a chocolate, but you have to close your eyes.” Alex stated with a waggle of his brows. Suddenly the temperature seemed to spike as your mouth went dry. “What the—? No way I’m closing my eyes.” You crossed your arms and leaned back against wall, trying hard to ignore the waves of excitement that flooded your body. “Come on. Live a little.” John dangled piece of chocolate in front of your face. “You. Are. So. Bad.” You bit your lip. “Give me that champagne.” You held out your palm and Alex passed the bottle to you. Wrapping your lips around the bottle and gulping down two more mouthfuls. “What’s wrong with being bad?” asked John innocently, popping a chocolate into his mouth. “Makes games more fun and if you don’t like our game, you can stop. Cross my heart and hope to die.” John crossed the left side of his chest, making you wonder what his chest looked like under that fitted t-shirt and your heart sped up. “But I must give you a word of warning, we've never met anyone that hasn’t appreciated any one of our games~” You could feel the wetness between your legs grow. Head swimming with all your ideas of what kind of games these two wanted to play? “So you two often play games together?” A smile spread across John's freckled face, knowing what was running through your mind. “Only with the special ones.” You followed the length of John's body as he stretched out in front of you, admiring the way his shirt curved over his arms and clung to the tight body, how the denim of his jeans placed low on his waist and your eyes nearly popped out at the bulge straining in his pants. A rush of electricity surged through you as your eyes darted back to his cute face. “A-And you’re considering me special?” “Today, we want to treat you like a Queen,” said Alex as he sat up on his heels. Too excited, you couldn’t resist anymore. “So, what do I have to do?” “While your eyes are closed, you have to guess the right flavor inside of the chocolate,” replied John nonchalantly. "What do I get if I'm right?" “Heh… if you’re right, Alex or I, depending on who you got the chocolate from, will have to take off an article of clothing. But… if you’re wrong… you do.” John smiled again like before, like he knew just how hard you wanted him. By chance, he moved his hand to adjust himself and your eyes carefully eying his body and movements. Alex leaned over, closer to you and grabbing the champagne bottle that sat in your lap and took a gulp. The air suddenly became heated as the three of you sat there and looked from one to another. You couldn’t believe you were doing this! You were about to play strip chocolate game with probably the most attractive guys you’d ever been in a room with. Your vanilla sex life was about to end. You took a deep breath to try and calm yourself. “Okay, I’ll play.” “Sweet,” Alex exclaimed and sat up straight. “Me first,” said John, grabbing a chocolate and crawling over to you on his knees holding the piece of chocolate in one hand. “Now, close your eyes.” You couldn’t hide your blush, closing your eyes tightly and waiting to feel the chocolate on your lips. You felt the pressure of something smooth along your lips and opened your mouth, tasting the minty richness of chocolate on your taste buds as the small piece entered your mouth followed by the touch of soft warm lips on yours. John's lips. He had bitten off half of the chocolate and given you the other half. The chocolate began to melt in your mouth as his lips lingered on yours and his body hovered over you. Your body trembling from just one teeny kiss. You opened your eyes as John backed away, his eyes half-libbed and swimming with desire. “So, what flavor?” "…what?…" Oh, right, you had to guess the flavor. You chewed and swallowed the rest of tasty treat. “Easy one. Mint.” John grinned. “That's right.” He wasted no time pulling off his t-shirt. You lost all ability to function. He was slender but his abdominal muscle clearly defined. You just wanted to reach out and brush your fingertips along in his slim frame. You watched as his eyes flickered down to your chest and back to your face. That's when you realized the show you were giving the two of them the entire time. Your nipples were tiny mountains against the soft fabric of your thin bra since you rejected the one with padding this morning and they had made their presence know under your red silk blouse. You snatched the champagne away from Alex. You had a desire to just pour it over John's chest and lick off every yummy drop but pushed that idea away. “Time for my shot,” sung Alex already in front of you, the chocolate between his teeth. “You are nonstop,” You said, wiping some champagne from the side of your mouth. He pulled the chocolate out of his mouth with his fingers. “Yep, I’ve been told that a few times. Now, close your eyes.” You closed your eyes again but secretly peeked a bit, watching as Alex crawled up to you and raised his face up to yours, delicately sliding his hands up the back of your head and tangling his fingers in your hair. He was floating so close that you could feel the heat radiating off his body on yours. Shit, he was so sexy. You felt like you were losing your mind. You were so turned on that you just wanted to jump the two boys and eat them up like chocolate. Alex finally pressed his lips to yours, sliding the chocolate into your mouth. Soft. Creamy. Delicate. Alex plunged his tongue in afterward and crushed a kiss against your mouth, leaving you hot and breathless. He pulled away, his eyes darkened with lust. “What did you think?” Your cheeks were still burning from the kiss, but you managed to respond. “Delectable. Cherry is one of my favorite flavors. You lose.” John laughed. “She got you, man.” Alex chuckled, looking you directly in the eyes as he pulled off his shirt without breaking contact. You caught a sniff of his body spray as he threw his shirt into the other corner. The scent filled your nose and you wanted it all over your body, covering you, him covering you. The throbbing between your legs intensified and the magnetic pull you felt from each man as they went back and forth was dizzying. “Alright, alright, time for the second round and it's going to get a lot harder.” John shook the box of chocolates in hand mixing them up. Harder? That's exactly what you wanted. “Prepare to lose.” Alex grinned, peering into the box since John already chose his piece. “Confident, are you? Then how about this. Round two is double or nothing.” The boys looked at you for approval. “Why not,” you said with a shrug. “I’ve still got all my clothes on.” “Okay, but I just want to make sure you’re good with this,” he said, his face and voice serious. “Fellas, I am so good with this right now you couldn't comprehend it.” Alex beamed. “Double or nothing then.” John placed the chocolate between his pearly whites and began to crawl toward you except this time you decided to meet him halfway. You faced each other on your knees, leaning up and biting off half of the chocolate in his mouth. You sucked the piece into your mouth and let it melt on your tongue. John was right, it was harder. Peanut? Macadamia? Almond? Walnut? You weren't really a fan of nuts, so you had no idea. John leaned over to place a gentle kiss over your lips. Welcoming him, you threw your arms over his shoulders. Your tongues exploring each other's mouths as his hands traveled down your back and pulled you close. He pressed his hips into yours and the feel of his cock against you almost cost you the game. The friction between your thighs was so much that you'd need release soon but they weren’t actually going to finish you off in the elevator, right? John pulled away from the kiss but still kept his lips on yours. “Flavor?” he asked, his lips against yours, his breath hot on your face. Your mind was to mushy to register for a second, feeling drunk on chocolate and kisses. “Um…Almond?” He cocked his half-smile again. “Nope. You. Lose.” You went completely red. John didn’t back away and Alex didn’t look away. “A deal’s a deal, I guess.” You couldn’t believe your were going to take your shirt off in an elevator. One by one you undid the simple buttons on your blouse, sliding it off your shoulders and letting it fall away. You were relieved that you wore a newer bra. “That’s one piece,” you panted. John put his hands behind his back, looking like he couldn't stop from touching you. Now you could do the teasing. Unzipping your skirt, pushing it down your hips, pass your thighs, and to your knees. You looked at both of them noticing how they were intensely staring. Standing back upright you faced John. "I still have another turn." Wordless, John moved to the side to let you pass. You looked at Alex who had placed the chocolate between his lips and patted his stomach, motioning you to straddle him. You rubbed your sweaty palms on your thighs, making them burn more. You situated yourself onto him and bit down on the chocolate. Leaning more onto Alex, pressing chest to chest, face to face, the boner beneath his jeans hard and protruding. “Cinnamon,” you mumbled. "Correct." With you still on top, Alex slid off his pants and then his boxers. The only thing between you was the thin fabric of your panties that you were pretty sure are soaked by now due to the last round. “So…um… who won?” Alex got up to his knees and knelt in front of you. His hard cock, brushing against your thigh. You couldn’t help yourself, dropping your eyes to peek down, wanting to know what he’d been hiding. His slim physique did not do him justice! So long and thick, you just wanted to reach out and stroke it, lick across the smooth skin and make him beg for more. “Is there ever really a loser in stripping games?” John asked. You laughed, shaking your head. Biting your lip, asking the question that weighed desperately on your mind. "So… how far can the game go?” Alex lifted your chin with an index finger. “As far as you want Queen (Y/N).” "Why didn’t you say that in the first place! Game over!” You exclaimed, wrapping a hand around Alex's cock and the other around his neck, plunging him into a deep kiss. He passionately kissed back, enveloping your mouth, tangling with your tongue. Then you felt the hands of someone else behind you. John knelt behind you, kissing the tender area of your ear, sending currents of pleasure down your body. “Which of us do you prefer? Have a favorite?” he asked. You looked at him from over your shoulder. “I don't know. It's like asking me to choose between apple pie or cinnamon rolls. I just can’t. Do I have to pick?” John pressed a kissed to your lips in reply. Feeling behind you, scrambling with trying to unbutton his jeans, anxious to get them off. Meanwhile, Alex quickly busied himself with your breasts. Taking off your bra, rolling your nipples between his fingers, licking at the hard buds, making sure to give them equal attention. John finally removed his jeans and boxers, his cock sprung from the fabric prison and slid along your backside causing little waves of heat to follow. Reaching his hand around, he slipped two fingers into you. “You are so wet.” Your pussy felt like it was on fire. You moaned as John made little circles with his finger on your clit. Alex moved his head to take one of your breasts into his mouth, sucking and rolling it with his tongue. You arched against John as he stroked your slit and Alex played with your breasts. “Fuck,” you grunted, grasping Alex's shoulders for support, your pelvis bouncing on John's hand. John came out from behind you, placing his shirt on the floor and laying you on it. “Have you ever been with two men before,” he asked lustfully. “No,” you panted. Alex gently slid his jacket under your head and kissed the top of your nose as John placed himself between your legs. You shivered in anticipation. He spread your legs wide and gave you a smile before burying his tongue in your fold. Fixing his mouth around your mound and plunging deep inside. You gasped and squirmed at the intense pleasure that blew through your body. Alex sucked on your bottom lip while John played with your pussy. Moaning at how Alex devoured your mouth, while John plunged and greedily licked your folds and thrust his fingers inside you, slowly, achingly pumping in and out. Spreading your legs more and arching your pelvis, you grabbed Alex by the neck and pulled his face to yours, twisting your hands in his dark locks. You were so close! You felt the tension build up in your groin, desperately wanting relief. Pulling away from Alex's mouth you moaned thirstily. "More…Don't…Please…Need…" John popped his head up. “Trade places!” Before you knew it John had spun you by the legs toward Alex. You quickly felt the warmth of Alex's two smaller hands as he raised your hips up and pulled you against his skillful mouth. He vigorously devoured you again. He moved faster and wilder than John, alternating between finger and tongue, between circles and broad strokes, up and down. "Alex!" You bucked and screamed his name. Your hips thrust up and you went for his head but John blocked with a passionate kiss, encasing you in his arms. You fell back trapped in John's embrace. White haze appearing behind your eyelids as the tension built up in your stomach. Your body wiggling and breath completely out in short pants. “Ahhh…” You moaned into John's kiss. John broke away. “Hold up. Not yet.” Alex gave one more hard lick to your entrance before lifting his head. Panting you could only lay there and mewl. “What?… No… don’t stop.” John knelt in front of you, that familiar grin back on his face, his eyes drilling into you. “I saw you licking your lips earlier.” His eyes flashed to his cock then back up to you. Finally! Readily crawling closer to him on all fours, grasping his cock with both hands. You licked the salty cum from the tip, taking more into your mouth. His cock was big, one of the biggest ones you've ever had the pleasure of blowing so you couldn't hold yourself back from working all the way down his length till he reached the back of your throat. John's head fell back, his eyes shut tight as he gave a carnal hiss. You mentally smiled to yourself. John tangled a hand in your hair and held your shoulder with the other as Alex placed himself next to you, his warm palms massaging your bare butt. He positioned his cock at your entrance, gripping your waist, and thrusting inside you, finally filling you. You squealed around John's cock, tongue circling the cock. Alex pumped in and out, rocking you back and forth on John's cock. Alex picked up the pace and you sucked harder. Getting off on how you could give pleasure and get pleasure at the same time. Alex hit that spot deep within you that sent a huge tremor of pleasure through you and made stars appear in your vision. To make it better Alex reached around and stroked your clit while he pounded into you. His hand moved rapidly and wildly. The three of you built up a thread of stress that was about to snap. HARD! Airy grunts, gasps, and the sound of skin slapping on skin echoing in the cramped elevator. You were lost in the pleasure and passion of the moment. John hardened his grip on your shoulder. “I’m going to come.” You reached up and played with his balls, making his entire body shudder with a few more thrusts before discharging the salty warmth of his orgasm into your mouth. You still kept sucking eagerly on his cock, wanting to prolong the moment. John pulled your hands up to his shoulders as Alex continued to finger your clit and fuck you from behind. The feeling getting stronger than any you had ever experienced before. Digging your fingers into John's shoulders. You were going to come! “Oh, hell yes!” “I love to hear you say that,” Alex breathed heavily as he continued his motions. Your body began to tremble and tighten around his cock as he came inside you. Your body exploded like little tiny riffles that blew through your body, exploding in different directions, and everything else melting away. When you came back, the three of you collapsed in a tangle of naked arms and legs and bodies. John kissed your forehead and Alex kissed your neck. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” They said together. You smiled and cuddled closer to them. “Happy Valentine's Day.” John planted another kiss on your lips as Alex lightly smacked your ass. You froze when static erupted from the speaker on the button panel. “Hello Ma’am?” You quickly got up. “Y—Yes?” “Sorry for the wait. There was trouble fixing it. Luckily the fire department is on their way to get you guys out of there and will be there in a few.” "A few!” The three of you jumped up. “Thanks a lot!” Racing to put on your clothes already able hear the noises coming from above. Getting the last button on your shirt just as the scraping of metal on metal came from above. The door in the elevator ceiling was being removed and a head poked itself through. You quickly checked yourself, making sure nothing looked off. John and Alex were clothed but a little flushed and sweaty. Did you look as sweaty as them? John inched his way over to you and fixed the back of your skirt with that mischievous grin of his. You bit the inside of your cheek, desperately hoping that the fireman wouldn't figure you out. “Ladies go first. We’ll send down the ladder and you two help her on up, okay?” “Yes sir,” they answered in unison. The ladder came down and you looked to the both of them. No time to give them a proper good bye. “You’re one special woman. That Sam guy is an absolute idiot,” said Alex raking a hand through his hair. “Hope the rest of your day is fit for a Queen,” said John, swallowing and looking like he could go another ten rounds. You bit your lip, the tingling between your legs and grew damp again. You kissed each of their hands and put one to each of their mouths. “Thank you,” you mumbled. Turning and stepping on the first rung of the wiggly ladder. Alex and John placed hands on your hips to balance you as ascended. Making it up a few rungs before halting. “Sorry!” You held up a finger. “I need minute,” You called up to the waiting fireman. You hopped down and faced Alex and John. “I was just wondering if you two had any plans for the first week of June?” The guys looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders, looking back at you curiously. “Any chance you’re both interested in a summer vacation to Cali? I already have reservations for two…but since some asshole won't be going anymore… I’m sure I can add one more. Maybe make up another game or two over there?” “I’ll start packing,” said John. Excitement dancing in his beautiful brown eyes, knowing he was already starting to create new games in his mind. “I prefer the right side of the bed,” commented Alex, a snarky grin sealing the deal. “Perfect.” Sticking your business card in each of their back pockets, giving them both a slap on the ass while you were back there, and then made your way back up the ladder. When you got out of the elevator shaft your boss was waiting for you to give you the rest of the day off. She must have felt bad for you and you weren't going to refuse a day off. You headed back to the train station with a skip in your step, but not without stopping by a small cafe where you got the richest highest calorie counting coffee and pastry on the menu. You sat at table still shoeless, sipping and eating. Suddenly your phone went off. You got a text from John and Alex, asking if you'd be interested in getting some drinks later tonight and meet some of their 'friends'. Looks like your Valentine's Day was just getting started.

[vivalatoons]

My Talk: Gravity Falls

It’s been a year since Gravity Falls has left Disney XD and broke all of our hearts. Gravity Falls is well known for its mystery and storytelling. It’s all thanks to the creator, Alex Hirsch. This is my reflection of Gravity Falls.

It was 2012, where I saw a promo of kids, Dipper and Mabel, about to open the door to reveal a creature they saw. As the camera was about to die, Dipper opens the door and the creature pops out and they screamed. Already I knew this show is going to be a game changer for Disney. It’s a game changer, because I wouldn’t never expect this was a Disney Channel show. Disney Channel has done animated shows before, but none of them compare to how Gravity Falls is. I would be looking forward to the new series coming soon.

June 15, 2012, Gravity Falls season premiere of Tourist Trapped. The episode begins with Dipper narrating about summer vacation, then we see Dipper and Mabel driving a golf cart and screaming from a creature of unimaginable horror. Dipper and Mabel’s parents decided to send them to Gravity Falls, Oregon for summer vacation. They will be staying with their Great Uncle (Grunkle) Stan at his tourist shop, The Mystery Shack. Dipper and Mabel would also work at their Grunkle’s shack with workers, Soos and Wendy. One day, Mabel was spying on a cute boy and wanting a romance summer. Granule Stan would send Dipper out to hang signs out in the spooky parts of the forest. Dipper hammered a tree sounded hard and was made of metal. He opened the secret door, and play with some switches. He would find this mystery journal with a number 3 on top of a golden hand. Dipper would read it that explains the strange and weirdness things in Gravity Falls. Later, he would tell Mabel about the journal, and Mabel would tell Dipper that she has a date. Grunkle Stan and Dipper would meet Mabel’s new boyfriend, Norman. Dipper would read the journal, convinced that Norman is a zombie. He would investigate to see and find nothing. Later, Dipper would warn Mabel about his intel with Norman. Mabel was sick of Dipper’s theories and was getting ready for her date. As Mabel went out on her date, Dipper would review his footage and found that Norman’s hand fell out and attracted it back. He goes to find Mabel and stop the zombie. Norman would tell Mabel that she needs to know something about him. Mabel was open to hear it, hoping he was a vampire. Turns out, Norman was a set of gnomes dressed up as a teenage. The main gnome, Jeff, tells Mabel that they’re looking for a queen to marry all of them. Mabel declines because she’s a girl and they’re gnomes. The gnomes understand and never forget her, because they were going to kidnap her. Dipper sees that he was wrong about Norman being a zombie and goes to save Mabel. They drive away, and the gnomes would form into a giant gnome. They would chase Dipper and Mabel, so Mabel can be their queen. They were trapped and Mabel decided to married all the gnomes. Jeff puts the ring on Mabel’s finger, and Mabel said “You may now kiss the bride.” Jeff would pucker up, and Mabel uses the leave blower to suck up Jeff and shoot him at the giant gnome. Scaring of the leave blower, the gnomes run away. Dipper and Mabel would make up and have an awkward sibling hug. Grunkle Stan would let Dipper and Mabel have one thing at the gift shop. Dipper picks out a new hat, and Mabel would choose a grappling hook. At the end, Dipper would wrote about what happened in the mystery journal and how he trusted his sister after their fight with gnomes. Dipper asked Mabel to turn off the light, and she would use her grappling hook. They would laugh, and Dipper shares how this town is more than what it seems. We end with Grunkle Stan entering a code in the vending machine, it would open, and there’s a secret room he entered into. The end credits would show a gnome barfing rainbows. Oh man, this episode was a great start of showing what the show is. Gravity Falls would be the biggest hit for Disney Channel. I was excited to see what more this show had to offer.

The 2 part season finale came. I remember these episodes like it was yesterday. “Dreamscaperers” and “Gideon Rises” would be the best episodes of Gravity Falls. Grunkle’s Stan enemy, Li’l Gideon, would make a deal with the eye pyramid of the dollar bill, whose name is Bill Cipher. Gideon is a kid psychic and Gravity Falls loves him. Bill would invade inside Stan’s mind to find the combination of the safe that had the deed to the Mystery Shack, which Gideon wanted. Dipper, Mabel, and Soos would go and destroy Bill. Later, Gideon would use dynamite to break the safe and has the deed to the Mystery Shack. And the end credits said “To Be Continued”, and I would scream “WHAT!” and wait till August 2nd. In “Gideon Rises” the Pines would defeat Gideon and get back the Shack. In the end, Stan goes back in the secret room. For the past 30 years, Stan has been working on a portal. Now having all 3 journals, he activate the portal, saying “Here we go.” Thus ends season 1 of Gravity Falls. I was clapping so hard. The finale was outstanding. Love it, love it, love it.

In the end credits of each episode, there is a secret message that the fans can decoded and learn what the message is. Fans would also wonder who is the author of the journals that. And we finally did in “Not What He Seems.”

Not What He Seems. Dipper and Mabel would find out secrets about Stan and the people in Gravity Falls would be experience levitation. The portal has been completed and someone came out of it. Every Gravity Falls fans has learn that the author of the Journals is Stan’s twin brother. The Tales of Two Stan gave us a backstory of Stanley and his twin brother, Stanford. We all saw what happened 30 years ago in Gravity Falls. These two episodes began a shift in season 2. Ford became a new character and it would get intense and made me emotional.

November 20, 2015, Alex Hirsch stated that this is the end of Gravity Falls. I was sad and hurt, because we had two more episodes left. This show was a lot to me and to see it go so soon was a bit sad. It didn’t affect me, because the end of Gravity Falls would conclude the series and it was awesome.

 Weirdmageddon happened. The last 3 episodes would be mark the end of Gravity Falls and one of the best series finale I’ve ever seen. It’s a long story, but Stan defeated Bill with a punch. Dipper and Mabel turned 13, Stan and Ford would travel across the seas together, Soos would become Mr. Mystery, and it was a sad goodbye that Gravity Falls had to say to Dipper and Mabel.

Each episode of Gravity Falls would contain to have mystery, humor, and great storytelling. Mystery was a huge part of Gravity Falls. I love most of the episodes. Headhunters, I learn that Dipper sneezes like a kitten. The Time Traveler’s Pig, it bring us Waddles and I love him so much. A Tale of Two Stans made me saw the true colors of Stan and Ford and their backgrounds. Gravity Falls had some iconic episodes.

Great characters make a show great, and that’s the case for Gravity Falls. Even the side characters make the show stand out. I’m talking about Tad Strange The chraracters in Gravity Falls are relatable, hilarious, and some are bad guys. They all play a part in the show. Dipper and Mabel are the center of the show, so is Grunkle Stan, Soos, Wendy, Old Man McGucket, Bill Cipher, I mean the list goes on. Everyone in this show is special in their own way.

Alex Hirsch. This man has brought Disney a gift. His work and voice talent in Gravity Falls has touched us all. He made this show based on him and his twin sister spending their summer with their Grandpa Stan. Sure, Alex and Ariel didn’t fight monster, traveled back in time, and stopped the eye on the dollar bill. That was all in Alex’s great brain. He deserve the best. I can’t wait for his future projects. Alex Hirsch, thank you.

Gravity Falls is one of my favorite cartoons. I can’t forget about it because it was so rememberable. I haven’t forgotten about Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Soos, Wendy, Ford, Old Man McGucket, Blendin, Bill Cipher, and many many more wonderful characters in this show. This show will be rewatch and revisit by millions again and again. Alex has created one of the greatest animated shows in 2010s. It was such a journey to be with this show for 4 years. Gravity Falls has a special place in my heart, and it will never go away. Let’s all have an awkward sibling hug.

Thank you Gravity Falls for giving me the best summer ever.

[lminfo]

5th July 2018

IN REVIEW #6 JUNE | Coming of A..liens?

HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS AT PARTIES (2018) Directed by John Cameron Mitchell

One of the most polarising indies of the year, I went into How to Talk to Girls at Parties thinking I wasn’t going to like it but instead found it to be absolutely and utterly charming. It’s a thoroughly weird and over-the-top coming of age tale with the comic energy of a 90′s John Waters flick and the heart of a Gregg Araki film. Elle Fanning gracefully plays a alien in love who wants to learn the ways of punk, and Nicole Kidman has the most fun she’s had in years playing the alpha punk leader. This film is very corny but if you’re willing to accept it for what it is it is very fun and greatly endearing. It isn’t the incredible romantic coming of age film that many people hoped it would be but it definitely doesn’t deserve to be shelved, so don’t miss out completely if it initially interested you.

★★★★

UNSANE (2018) Directed by Steven Soderbergh

I didn’t have a lot of interest in seeing Unsane but I’m glad I did. Soderbergh’s follow up to last year’s Logan Lucky is a psychological thriller shot on an iPhone starring the queen of England herself Claire Foy, and it’s great. The movie has an eerie tone to it, equally intriguing and unnerving. Watching the film you’re filled with a lot of moments of doubt and mystery, and as the movie unfolds it is extremely satisfying to say the least.

★★★★

FLOWER (2018) Directed by Max Winkler

Sigh, it was hard to not shut this off. My boyfriend gave up halfway through but I insisted to keep watching “just in case it gets better!”. Zoe Deutch is very good, it’s just a shame her role is so obviously written by straight white men that it becomes quite gross to stomach it. The film isn’t bad on a technical level, it’s actually quite pretty and I like the music, but it’s the writing that does it for me. Eugh, it's just a gross movie. Next time you want to make a film about a confident and outspoken sexually charged teenage girl please get a woman to write it, I’m begging you. Zoe Deutch deserves better!

★★

ALEX STRANGELOVE (2018) Directed by Craig Johnson

I know it’s a controversial opinion, but I didn’t like Love, Simon very much - perhaps I was let down by my high expectations, or perhaps the movie just isn’t really for me - it was just too safe and plain for me to fully get into. Alex Strangelove however ticks most of the boxes I hoped Love, Simon would. It’s less of a medicore attempt at making a queer story mainstream and it feels more authentic and true to personal experiences than. There are a few moments where the film suffers from being a bit of a tonal mess, and at times the jokes don’t land at all, but for the most part I found it to be a very compelling [gay] rom-com.

★★★½

YOUR NAME (2016)

Directed by Makoto Shinkai

This film! Oh man! I hope I never see a body swap plot ever again because it has reached it’s full potential. Disney is cancelled by the way.

★★★★★

EYES WITHOUT A FACE (1960) Directed by Georges Franju

The first movie I watched from Georges Franju is also the first movie to leave me feeling grateful for having a face. It’s a piece of psychological terror that honestly feels so fresh over 60 years later which only proves how timeless this film is. It’s a grand, sometimes funny piece of horror that I only grow more and more fond of whenever it crosses my mind. It’s a definitive classic and it’s already one of my favourites in the genre.

★★★★★

BRANDED TO KILL (1967) Directed by Seijun Suzuki

Another bizarre, visual feast from Seijun Suzuki. I was extremely captivated by this film, despite it clearly lacking a cohesive narrative and script. It all surprisingly works really well, mostly due to Suzuki’s killer direction and visual eye. It’s an utterly original and unpredictable romp with ridiculous action sequences, amazing visuals all round and a chipmunk-cheek Joe Shishido being sexually attracted to rice. 

★★★★

A WOMAN IS A WOMAN (1961)

Directed by Jean-Luc Godard

It’s hard to critically analyse how I feel about this film. I mean, Godard is a genius, yes, and what he did here only helped build his legacy. But for some reason this film left feeling a bit ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  (Shrug emoji is there for me when I’m stuck for words). I liked it for the most part but come on tell me it’s not just Breathless lite.

★★★

OCEAN’S 8 (2018)

Directed by Gary Ross

I never know whether or not I am going to enjoy big Hollywood movies or not, so as a broke student I use a mental checklist to narrow down whether or not I want to see one in a theatre. First is if the director interests me, if not I will look at the cast. In this case, the cast sold me on a ticket. Cate Blanchett? Rihanna? Sarah Paulson? Anne Hathaway? This movie has to be good right? Yes, actually. As a friend said to me prior to seeing it, “you get your money’s worth”, and he’s absolutely right. I got to see Rihanna smoking a blunt, Sarah Paulson and Anne Hathaway using their comedy skills and Cate Blanchett speaking in her normal accent. The cheesy transition effects really annoyed me but apparently they’re a part of the Ocean’s franchise so you know, I can’t complain. Ocean’s 8 really is a fun film, even if it falls a bit flat at times.

★★★½

FANTASTIC PLANET (1973) Directed by René Laloux

Disney should have been cancelled in 1973 actually, because this weird surreal alien nightmare is one of the most creative and interesting animated films I’ve seen. My only complaint is that certain elements of the story were kind of abandoned and put aside for another story - which you know, wasn’t necessarily bad, I was just very invested in the first story! Either way, it is a fascinating and beautiful film that I can’t wait to rewatch when my criterion copy arrives in the mail.

★★★★

[dailyentertainmentscoop-blog]

8 Highlights From Demi Lovato's New Documentary: Simply Complicated

Her 78-minute documentary movie, Simply Complicated, premiered Tuesday, giving fans a raw look at her road to healing. Directed by Hannah Lux Davis and filmed over the course of seven weeks from early 2017, it covers everything from her eating disorder for her sobriety, as well as her first big heartbreak.

Here, E! News chooses eight highlights from Simply Complicated:

1. Lovato Tried Cocaine for the First Time in Age 17

Lovato was driven by a student peer into partying after being bullied for many years in college. She drank alcohol and smoked marijuana, and she tried cocaine around the time she worked for the Disney Channel. Lovato's mother warned her the medication could quit her heart, but the Sonny With a Chance actress says she "did it anyhow," explaining, "I loved it. I felt out of control with all the coke the very first time that I did it." Addiction runs in her family. "My father was an addict and an alcoholic," Lovato says of her biological father. "I figure I always searched for what he found in alcohol and drugs because it fulfilled him and he decided that over a family."

2. The Jonas Brothers Tried to Stage an Intervention

"It was actually the Jonas Brothers waving the flag, also saw Demi veering in another direction," Lovato's manager, John Taylor, says. In 2010, the singer hit a backup dancer, Alex "Shorty" Welch, on a plane, also entered rehab shortly after that. According to Lovato, Welch had tattled on her for casting a hotel party to. Lovato, who had been large, "manipulated" Kevin Jonas Sr.. into identifying Welch. "I remember thinking, 'I'm going to conquer this bitch up.'"

Until that point, Nick Jonas thought he'd helped Lovato take charge of her life--particularly as her connection with his brother Joe Jonas "had become really complicated." As he explains, "I had been playing with the bridge...It became very great between I and her for a while, growing closer than we have ever been. I remember thinking in my mind I felt a little pride like selfishly maybe I had been helping her [get] back to function as Demi we understand and love. 'She isn't going to do anything crazy. She will be OK,'" he recalls. "And then the episode [between Welch] happened."

3. Rehab Didn't Work the First Time

Lovato received inpatient treatment for the very first time in 2010, but the episode with Welch resulted in some two-month "bender" if she had been "using every day." At 18 years old, she says, "I just came to a breaking point; the subsequent 12 months were incredibly tough." She left rehab with a "glow" that disappeared fast. "I wasn't working my program. I was not prepared to get sober. I had been sneaking it on planes, sneaking it in bathrooms, sneaking it during the night," she states. "Nobody knew."

Xanax and mixing cocaine had near deadly effects, one night. "I started to choke a small bit, and my heart began racing. I remember thinking, 'Oh my God, I'm overdosing at the moment,'" she says. Her supervisor, Phil McIntyre, states she'd interviews regarding her sobriety while high. "She had been on atmosphere promoting this new lifestyle," he states. "I was like, 'You are so full of it.'"

Lovato knew she was burning bridges. "I was using while I had a sober partner, and that I went through like 20 sober partners. I was craving medication or on drugs. I was not easy to use," that the "Heart Attack" singer states. "It is embarrassing to look back at the person I was."

4. She Spent Time in a Psych Ward

While in Palm Springs, Lovato's expert says that the singer had to be hospitalized after locking herself and swallowing pills. "The nurse is assessing her in. The bottle of pills is there, '' she grabs the tablets, she says and subsequently downs all the tablets, 'You f--king bitch! If I only attempted to kill myself, why do you provide me access to tablets?'" The specialist recalls. Lovato was admitted to the psychiatric ward of the hospital but refused to find clean. "I did not feel anything. I didn't feel guilty. I didn't feel embarrassed," she says. Lovato continued to use drugs and even faked drug tests employing other people's urine. "I'd lie straight to their faces," she recalls.

At her lowest, Lovato encouraged two "random people" to party inside her hotel room and got "really, very drunk" together prior to a flight in 2012. "I was so drunk, I vomited in the rear of the automobile service on the way to the airport to perform on American Idol," she states. Lovato was hungover for the show. "I felt like this was a second in my career where I did not care," she admits. "I simply knew that I needed to be high to get through whatever I was going through that point."

Mike Bayer, Lovato's personal-development coach, says that he detected a change in Lovato following her management team threatened to fire her if she did not become sober. "The most important fear to Demi is losing people--dropping people who she cares about and that adore her," he states. "That's the most important thing to Demi." As Lovato herself says in the documentary, "It was not a matter of if they're going to depart; it was they're leaving. 'There is nothing more we could do to you.'" Taking her specialist's advice, she switched over her mobile phone to cut off access to drug dealers. But she threw it into a vase of water and smashed it on a plate. Her manager has the device that is destroyed. "It had been the start of the practice of surrendering," Lovato says.

5. She Still Loves Ex-Boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama

It is no secret celebrity Wilmer Valderrama has been Lovato's first true love. "I met him on Jan. 11, 2010. I thought, 'I must have him,' but that I was only 17 and that he was like, 'Get away from me,'" the singer says. "After I turned 18 we started dating. I believe it was love at first sight. We connected on a level that I've never correlated with anyone. He was just my rock, my all."

"I've never loved anyone like I loved Wilmer and I still adore him," she continues. But, after nearly six decades together, the couple announced they'd split in June 2016. "The sparks never faded, however, there are problems that I haven't defeated yet that I understand I will not conquer if I'm relying on someone else to care for the loneliness. I just was not prepared and there was so much in my life I had not explored yet...That was one of the reasons why we broke up since I have never been alone," that the "Give Your Heart a Break" singer describes. "It had nothing to do with falling from love. We decided collectively that we just likely are much better as friends."

Sometimes, she has regrets. "I do have moments where it's late at night, I am lonely and I wonder if I made the perfect decision since love is a gamble," she states. "I don't know whether I will lose him to get the rest of my life. I believe my heart is always with Wilmer. I believe it had been with Wilmer. I think that it is with Wilmer. I think it will be because you don't discuss six years with somebody, not give them a piece of your heart, and vice versa. I am pretty sure I am not likely to meet anyone that contrasts with him, but I'm trying to keep an open heart and open mind in regards to that."

6. She Doesn't imitate as Straight

Throughout a fitting, Lovato tells stylist Avo Yermagyan she has been using the invite-only dating program, Raya. "I'm on a relationship program with both guys and women. I'm open to human link, so if that's a male or female, it doesn't matter to me," she says. She doesn't have a type, per se, however, she is attracted to athletes. "There is something sexy about somebody putting in all of their physical strength into their passion," she says. And when it comes to getting down and dirty, the singer says, "There's a certain stigma about women having casual sexual and for me personally, I believe it's my body, it is my choice, it is exciting, it's a relationship with somebody and it's fun."

Lovato is not reluctant to adopt her side, either. "When I am comfortable in my own skin, I feel confident," she teases. "When I feel convinced, I feel sexy, and once I feel sexy, watch out!"

7. She's Still Battling an Eating Disorder

"When I was in a relationship with Wilmer I went three years without fixing, and when we broke up, that's among the very first things I did," Lovato confesses to McIntyre. "The less I have to think about food, the easier it is to go about using a regular life, and I do not want to let anybody down, so when I do have moments once I slide up, I feel very ashamed. What began the relapse was lost Wilmer. When I feel lonely my heart feels hungry and I end up binging."

Lovato adds, "I don't know how to determine how to be lonely."

The bingeing began at age 8, following Madison de la Garza was born. "A lot of the attention was taken off me and on my little sister," she states of the actress. "I had started working at that time and had been under a lot of stress, therefore I would bake cookies for my loved ones. I would eat all of them and no one could have some time to eat. That was my very first memory of meals being that medication for me."

Lovato believes her eating disorder started after she had been exposed to intense bullying as a child when a group of "pure f--king wicked" classmates began a campaign urging her to commit suicide. "Food is still the biggest challenge in my life," she tells a coach. "I don't wish to give it the power to state it controls my every thought, but it is something I am always considering"

Food makes Lovato think of "body image, exactly what I wish I could be eating, what I want I could be eating next, exactly what I want I didn't eat," she acknowledges. "It is constant. I get envious towards people who do not struggle with an eating disorder since I think my life would be so much simpler."

8. She Doesn't Want to Keep Any Longer Secrets

"Looking back, it was hard for anybody," Lovato says of being a child star, "let alone a kid."

Actually, McIntyre says, "I could connect the dots and determine that there was a massive quantity of pressure. She lived two lives. Here she was clean all types of clauses that are moral, about the Disney Channel, and intense [scrutiny] about behavior. When the camera stops rolling, she is living another life, and she could not really be herself. She couldn't be a normal teenager."

For the first time in her life, Lovato is not afraid to talk about her reality. "The past decade has taught me a lifetime of course. I have learned that secrets make you ill. I am learning how to be a voice and not a victim. I've learned sex is organic. I have heard that love is necessary, heartbreak is unavoidable and isolation is barbarous," that the 25-year-old pop superstar says in the documentary. "I've discovered that the key to being happy would be to tell your facts and be OK without all the answers."

Watch the full documentary below:

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