#it also means he can't kill them maim them terrorize them

[quiet-longing]

The Vampire Armand would like to know who the hell Assad Zaman is and why he's created a fictional dynamic between his beloved and Santiago. He would also like to know if this Ben Daniels fellow is involved in this atrocity.

Daniel would like to go back to sleep. No, he's not involved in any "dynamic" with Santiago. Isn't that guy dead? Yes, he knows Ben Daniels. He knows who Ben Daniels is and so does Armand. He was in that show they just watched. The kid, the possession, the demons? No, the other guy. Yes, he's very sure they've never met. No, he doesn't know who Assad Zaman is. Google him. ...This is from google? This is from google ai. Daniel would also like to go on a good, long tear about AI and ethics, but mostly he would like to go back to bed. He's a tired old man. He would also consider it a personal favor if Armand didn't eat anyone in this little blurb. Except Santiago. If that guy managed to pull a Lestat, Armand can eat him. And maybe don't buy Google while he's asleep. They're discussing major purchases as a couple now. Remember the no more private islands without consultation conversation? Yeah, this is like that.

The Vampire Armand is sulking. And doing a speed run deep dive into AI. And sulking some more. This is why they can't have nice things. Daniel won't let him buy them anymore.

iPad kid Armand would be so mad at Google AI

[elveny]

I posted 3,272 times in 2022

169 posts created (5%)

3,103 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sharkapologists

@cecilyacat

@okami-zero

@elveny

@barbex

I tagged 2,961 of my posts in 2022

Only 10% of my posts had no tags

#ffxiv - 681 posts

#art - 653 posts

#lol - 157 posts

#fic rec - 113 posts

#dragon age - 84 posts

#tumblr - 81 posts

#estinien varlineau - 78 posts

#mass effect - 66 posts

#tiktok - 64 posts

#writing - 63 posts

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#also the reason why ppl like david tennant and patrick stewart or ian mckellen have the charisma and presence they do

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Ethan Hawke on creativity:

"Most people don't think about poetry, right? They have a life to live, and they're not really that concerned - until their father dies, they go to a funeral, you lose a child. Somebody breaks your heart, they don't love you anymore. And all of a sudden, you're desperate for making sense out of this life, and 'Has anybody ever felt this bad before?'

Or the inverse! Something great. You meet somebody and your heart explodes. You love them so much you can't even see straight. You know, you're dizzy! 'Did anybody feel like this before? What is happening to me?'

And that's when art is not a luxury, it's actually sustenance."

47 notes - Posted June 20, 2022

#4

Excuse me, I am still reeling from how perfectly @schoute captured my Adriene and Estinien, I love it so so so so much and cannot asddksaaskussdwedf!!!!😭😭😭😍😍😍

59 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

#3

Emet-Selch is canonically a character that used to be very close to the WoL (or rather their former incarnation). Someone that CANONICALLY complained but always came to help. Someone who cared so much he, over 12 millenia, tried to bring back millions of people.

Was he a villain in the end? Sure! But he TELLS you why. He tells you that he feels, loves, grieves. Even after he managed to convince himself that nobody around him is even "alive" and can thus be killed without remorse, DESPITE THAT, he wants to hope that there's another way.

That YOU, the WoL, as the reincarnation of someone he cared deeply for, can make the difference. He could've killed you so, so often. He doesn't. Because he *cares*, he wants you to understand, so he explains and works with you and shows you what happened and the why.

This is all told and shown in the game, btw, that's not fanon.

Emet-Selch is an excellent continuation of Hades - saying one thing and doing another. He cares for Azem and WoL, deeply. Does it excuse his actions? No. But it explains them. He doesn't kill because he wants to and because he relishes power. He kills to restore his WORLD.

If you were told you had to trample down thirteen ant hills to save the world, your family, your loved ones, everyone you know, to make those insignificant ants the people they used to be - you would, too.

82 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

#2

If the latest episode of Obi-Wan Kenobi shows anything then it’s the pure horror, terror and soul-ripping despair Darth Vader brings to the galaxy.

And I don’t mean the scene where he drags Obi-Wan into the fire, bc that’s, like… yeah sure, he’s petty and vengeful and so full of hatred and anger, but that’s personal. That’s him and Obi-Wan, of course he’s vengeful and cruel there.

But that scene before.

Where he walks through the village, killing people when he passes them for no reason other than… killing. Trying to get a reaction of the man he assumes is there. The father he rips through the window and chokes in the air, the child rushing to try and help his dad whose neck he snaps. The woman he drags face-down through the sand while she flails. Holy fuck. Imagine you’re living in the galaxy and one day, the Empire comes and takes over. And the Force-sensitive people they have are broken and cruel and they maim and threaten and are horrible enough. And then comes Darth Vader. And you just know that NOTHING is safe. Nothing will ever be safe again. You can be a loyalist and still be dead the next second just because… no because. For no reason. Nothing is safe.

85 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I can't get over how GOOD Andor is. They are not making "episodes", they are making a STORY and dividing this into episodes. And it's so, so good. The characterization is amazing, the Empire is really and truly BAD and fascist and horrible, and the rebellion is ... not heroic clean awesomeness. It's dirty and doing what needs to be done and it's not easy. Or always morally good. It's "oppression breeds rebellion" and using that. Holy shit.

And yes, I know the whole thing of "Disney is actually bad etc blabla" and YES, there is a problem, but we're operating within a system of capitalism and rising fascism, and I truly believe that the message of Andor is important.

106 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[vasiliquemort]

I can't explain the amount of worry I have for yall 😭 For you, your family, your art, its all just terrifying sitting here in America, watching all this happen and knowing there's not much that can be done to help, that I can do to help. I really hope at this point Putin just gets struck by lightning or trips and falls down a flight of stairs and just straight up dies so this shit can STOP. I really hope this war dies with him. I can't see it going on past that and that really that give me hope (besides to see you posting).

Hello again!<зз Oh, we are safe, for the most parts! There is obvious place for civil terror - in a meaning of unavailability of electricity or water or heating or connection for specific amounts of time, and costs of living strike their new domes, but that's okay (not really but it doesn't matter in current perspectives)!<зз

I cannot describe the way how I feel at the moment - how much of bile and horror and hate is in my heart, and I know that I shouldn't, as the only way how to describe this general mental state is to show the way how things builded and exist for us at the current time - something that I could not imagine to ever see, and don't feel in my soul to make other's to look at, too. It's inhuman and it awakens something alike.

I cannot really imagine, too, how I shall return to usual life after our victory (as without victory there is no life - being unable to scream does not exclude agony), just as my family and countrymen cannot, I feel - but that is another side of existential horror of current time, the one that we may either endure or not озо It's important to endure, obviously - so I try to create now better future for us, as without that work it may never came, and there will be no actual home to return into.

I.. I don't actually think about him a lot, truth be told. Obviously, I hope he will rot from inside, but I also know that there is too much that builded our current world to be finished like that. It's not the war of one person, such was proven long ago - in Bucha, Izyum, Mariupol, Kherson and hundreds of cities of my homeland and other's, in everyday, it is a war of resourses and of people. Maybe if he will be gone the war shall be stopped since it is not profitable- or maybe there will be separation between marital leaders and gangs that will fight for advantage and dominion, and the land where those conflict shall be continued is may be ours, too.

I mean - country both with basically unlimited war resourses (outdated and unsuited to modern warfare but still can kill people and maim and destroy and terror?) and nuclear weapons that lived with authocrat and his regime that literally cames from criminal records of 90s as long as it existed as independent state, that thinks about itself - and actually is - successor of both empire that enslaved and tantalized nations for as long as it existed and of state - empire, too, by actual way of things - that did the same things but this time together with nations that it thought as of lesser one it also did it with own people, too, just with supressing ideology of unity and brotherhood and suffering and pain? Shall lose their authocrat, will be separated therefore (because authocrathy never considers actual successor or future beside - having at least one of them is enough to lose it's power), with no actual state or control over - just at it was separated previously and it was such a miracle that it didn't ended in the darkest human catastrophe that could be imagined?

If the health of mentality was proven the situation should have been over long ago - but it is rather population than society and, in the same way how they accepted immolation of my nation, they stand still even when their own existance - of their sons, brothers and husbands that will go to war, to either kill or get killed, of women that will live in society of violence and degradation where nor they nor their children will never be safe, is considered as of lesser value and openly shown to them as such. I can see past him - the only way to overcome it is to stay strong and still and on our ground, be better in each way - both how they are and how we currently are, too. …

o//////o (opening curtains of figurative room of mood)

So!<з

I find hope both in art and of your company, too! It means a world for me - to see something as bright and beautiful and delightful and as mellow as you, and to have ability to share those expressions and feelings and love of creations озо

Thank you!!

[bunchofstraydogs]

Dazai Osamu character breakdown as I understand him

Meaning that this might be inaccurate and your opinion and visage of him might differ from mine, which is just fine. We perceive the world and the people around us through our experiences and expectations. I'm curious to know how you guys see a complex character like Dazai, just please respect everyone's opinions.

Warning: Manga plot mentions, s2 spoilers, BEAST light novel spoilers, Dazai Osamu

Dazai Osamu was introduced into the scene of Bungou Stray Dogs at 14 when Mori found him.

Even at that young age, Dazai had suicidal tendencies and had been wrapped in bandages similarly as he is in the present. Already dealing with too much trauma for a child his age, the fire is fuelled as he was forced to bear witness to the death of the Port Mafia boss at the hands of Mori, the person that took him under his wing. To use him; which was becoming very apparent to Osamu if he hadn't been aware since the start. Now, I'm not saying that death of the previous boss left a particular scar on Samu, he even agrees with it and is something he himself would have done. But that that is the scene that bore fruit of the following quotes:

"Or could it be that you're afraid, Mori-san? That one day i will slit your throat and take over as the boss?"

followed by

"Everyone seems suspicious to those who have an axe to grind."

This tells us right away that he can tell what type of person you are just from the way you perceive your surroundings, which is logical, but not something many think too deep into.

Even less who have their evaluations of others on point like he does. And he has to, since Dazai's plan is always to understand his allies, his enemies, possible allies and possible enemies. He also takes into account important neutral parties that can still, in one way or another, affect the outcome of his plans or decide to align with one side out of common interest. After comes realising the main goals, along with side achievements (just in case some of those maim his allies or ruin the future plans he made) of every party. Taking in their morals and motivation, and being familiar with the ground the confrontation will happen on, he now has the view of the whole chess board and it's pieces in his head. He moves his allies in the right places, knowing how they'll react in the situation to come, and awaits the enemies with open fire arms. He was tought to think like that. At all times. Mori made sure of it. You know how specialists never really stop thinking in their areas of expertise, like doctors, for example, will naturally notice people's posture and look for scoliosis or whatever? How your foot hits the floor, if you're walking straight, your knees and shoulders, etc. Same for Dazai. His brain maps out person's expressions, reactions, choices, personality, etc. in great detail. I'm pretty sure he has eidetic memory, if his conversations in manga with Fyodor are anything to go by.

Another thing his brain does is think of worst possible outcomes.

Not in a fear of what if things go wrong, but as a possible route. He uses it to determine how big of a threat the opposing force is and what steps they'll have to take to achieve that. Knowing that, he'll know how to intercept them. Also, like everything else, it's not something he can control since we're talking about thought process here and that's just how his brain works. Can't magically turn that off. It's especially annoying to him when he's genuinely enjoying himself with, let's say, ADA members and then his brain goes brrr.

•"A lot happened recently and we're a torn in many people's eyes." *Tanizaki and Atsushi drinking punch* "There's a possibility, while a small one, about 8% at this very moment, but as time goes on will increase, that an organisation outside of Yokohama decided we're an unavoidable threat and poisoned the drinks. Don't drink that. Nothing will happen, they'll wake up tomorrow in pristine condition don't drink th-"

Yeah, i feel bad for him too.

He has PTSD and insomnia, besides the hectic brain,

so he's not getting proper amount of rest. Actually, he drinks almost every night by himself at home. Pretty sure it's canon as well, because if you search for a picture of him in his room, you'll see him surrounded by multiple bottles. Two of the PTSD symptoms are hallucinations and night terrors (no, that is not the same as a nightmare). What people usually do is use opium to cause hallucinations in a safe environment so that there's little chance of them happening uncontrolled. He's probably using alcohol to numb himself while he's reminiscing, since if he does still have hallucinations after years having passed by (which isn't impossible), they're probably few and far between. Not saying there's no chance he isn't using opium. He would know where to get what he needs, after all.

Osamu's haunted by his own actions as well, not just by trauma caused to him.

At an uncountable amount of occasions, he found himself looking into a mirror and not really comprehending his image. It was like dissociation. Looking through a fog at what's supposed to be your carbon copy, but not knowing all of your features perfectly, so whatever you're seeing could only be an impostor, yet you're not sure because that would take comprehending physical proof of your life to the fullest and how it works and he just... can't. He can but he doesn't want to. He already knows he's despicable and broken, doesn't really feel the need to see just how much. He can't, for all his perfect memory, remember the faces of the people he has killed. He hadn't even seen all of them, but he was responsible for their demise. Causing havoc and misfortune in general through other crimes besides murder as well. We've seen his expression when he listened in on Atsushi talking to Kyouka over the earpiece how the 35 deaths don't matter anymore. He knows they do and he knows that the change of heart won't justify what he's they've done. Ango thought him to value each life. But he also knows that even murderers can change and become good. Oda did that. It's also what's keeping him in the agency.

When Oda died, his last words mentioned that Dazai doesn't care about good or bad and that was correct for Dazai Osamu back then. I genuinely think that his present self does mind the difference.

He believes in necessary evil and will do dark shit to get the good outcome he's envisioned.

He doesn't separate outlaws and lawful people, however.

He knows that generally speaking, the line is thin and easy to cross and that many were born or forced into the situations they are. Those that fight the life thrown at them are an exception, not a rule. That's also why he likes Atsushi, probably the main reason. The boy has every right to hate the world and yet. Dazai is envious, he doesn't really have the same capacity.

I want now to talk about why does Dazai Osamu do what Dazai Osamu does.

The reason he attempts suicide, joined the mafia, made friends at all, is because for all his intelligence and observations, ability to understand others, he doesn't really understand himself.

He doesn't understand his worth. He doesn't understand his purpose. In all of that confusion, he finds no reason to live. He laughs but can't get the high, he bruises but can't fully heal. In all of the things people find happiness in he can't feel joy from. He is emotionally stunted. He thinks too logically. He doesn't understand actions out of emotions because to him, it doesn't make sense. Emotions cloud your mind and when you're not thinking straight, you make mistakes. Plain and simple. He just accepts it, that most people simply cannot control themselves and prefer lashing out instead of methodical approach. All the better for him, he has leverage. Even when he does act on impulse, which is incredibly rare and not as explosive and dramatic, his brain rationalises it as to why his actions were a good way to go. And if his reaction was one that bore fruit, than it was a tactical one.

"If you place yourself somewhere close to raw emotions, where you're exposed to raw violence and death, instinct and desire, you can brush against man's true nature. I though that way i could find a reason to live somehow."

From this, i can tell that he was hoping that, in a situation where he's pushed far enough, he'd realise what's important to him, what he wants to protect or destroy, what's one thing he wouldn't want to leave unsettled before dying. What is that one thing he'd regret dying before achieving? What should he fight death for. What is worth living on for? To him, it doesn't matter if that something is good or evil as long as he gets to keep it in his life.

It seems he hadn't found it exactly, but is satisfied with what he has for now, in the agency, to just keep going. But he still tries to commit suicide, hoping that one day, when the clear picture of the world around him is fading away, when he's becoming light headed from the lack of oxygen, when he's loosing control over his body and thoughts don't seem to flow well, there will be one thing, anyone, screaming at him to fight it. New day new chances. It didn't happen today, better luck tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomo-.

Now, like Mori, Dazai feels the need to, at all times, be in control of the situation. Including people.

That means no one, but perhaps Ranpo due to his own abnormal intellect, is aware of their own role. They know their mission, but they're not expecting to be given that particular one because they'll come across an obstacle they would react to in a way that would satisfy Osamu's plans.

Dazai Osamu is more of a chemist, than a chess player, if you ask me.

Throwing different people into the mix, under different conditions at different times and is noting down their reactions in safe surrounding if possible, so that when the time calls for it, he'll be able to make a perfect concoction for the predicament. A chemist and his substances; A chess player and his pawns; A puppeteer and his puppets. Now, Dazai is meticulous and never rash, but like everyone else (except effin Lovecraft what is he even) he's only human and he bleeds when he falls down and humans aren't perfect. He isn't always right. That means he makes mistakes. The issue with big shot players that control the board is that, when they fall down, everyone on their side crashes and burns as well. So the day Dazai fucks up everyone else will follow because of lack of insight on their part that's completely out of their control. All it takes is for him to underestimate or overestimate one person and chaos ensues. There is no such thing as happy little accidents small mistakes for someone like him. I have crippling anxiety and a sole thought that one hiccup could blow up in everyone's face... damn. I would try committing suicide myself. But it's his fault, he brought upon himself an obligation and pressure like that. To be fair, it was Mori that drilled that type of thinking where no one should know what you plan because they can't ruin what they don't know If they turn against you, they can't stop you.

For his own sake, and everyone else's, Dazai needs to learn how to show his cards and share the burden.

Again, going back to the emotionally stunted guy that has commitment issues (where he either can't commit or can't let go) trope.

He never outright does something good for someone where people would acknowledge it, he uses his underhanded tactics here as well.

He casually makes himself look like a bad guy, an asshole, to conveniently move attention from the inner turmoil a person is struggling with to a present problem at hand that they can fix and let their frustrations out on. But he hopes that, one day, someone just might notice his intentions for what they are and do the unspeakable- see through him.

"I'm a very private person. You don't ask, i don't tell."

Yes, and your whole existence is just a huge cry for help. He wants to be asked. He's begging for attention. A specific type of attention. One that will see him without making him feel imposed on. One that will understand his sins without making a big deal out of it. Accept him as a person he is, makes him feel like one as well. Makes him feel alive. Makes him feel... period.

The day he finds that thing is the day he completely turns his life around and fully dedicates to it. It's where the part of not being able to let go commitment issue ensues.

Since Oda's death he's been secretly keeping an eye out on possible ways to bring him back. If you've read Beast AU you know that when Dazai gets his hands on the book, he'll create a universe where Oda doesn't die. Should he find an ability user that can bring back the dead, just tell him what it will take, he's ready to destroy his own soul for it and if that isn't enough, well, he'll have no hesitation ruining theirs. After all, BEAST!Dazai Osamu never actually met Odasaku, he just had the memories he'd gotten from his canon self and that was enough for him to do everything he did.

He's incredibly selfish and has a weird come in but the door is a wall dynamic he rolls with in his self imposed solitude.

It's like the walls of the space in my brain are ugly and terrifying, so i closed off the entrance to keep myself in. I'm doing you a favour but please break the wall down and tell me it's okay to come out i don't want to be here-

Happy little thoughts woah woah yeah~

That's what i got from what I've seen of him. I may have missed some things, some things might prove to be wrong as the series progress further, but yeah.

There is, however, one more thing i want to put out here. Since Dazai was already like this before Mori found him, that begs to question as to why? What happened to him?

Now, since the characters are based on real people, is it crazy to say that Dazai Osamu has had a horrible childhood because of his father? Real life Dazai was terrified of his dad and was very intimidated by him. He always tried to stay in his good graces out of fear of punishment. Neither of his parents felt like a parent to him, actually. His father didn't care and his mother was often ill, but did care for him when she could. Both of them died eventually.

This could be the plot Kafka based Dazai's background on, but we'll have to wait and see.