#it also made me realise that i need to talk to my moots more

[hourlyhoon]

tag a few moots or followers and add a picture of an idol that reminds you of them !

　@cannibalim　　　　　　@miujo　　　　　 　@woocieul

　@y-urios　　　　　　@atsubie　　　　　 　@yeoniis

　@melonitos　　　　　　@yeossemble　　　　　 　@y2jiz

　@arie-n　　　　　　@flwerwon　　　　　 　@bitchey

[arafilez]

MOOT GAME: " make up a trope for your moots and their biases. doesn’t need to be romantic. can be crackfic/funny. ^ㅇ(๑>◡<๑)ㅇ^ "

WHOEVER YOU ARE, THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS.

warning: idk some of you THAT well but i tried my best TT so bear with me. this is supposed to be a simple game but my perfectionist ass smh. ALSO i think four or five of my moots aren't here, i am sorry you guys, idek what to write abt y'all since we don't talk that much or you are a newww moot, let's talk more. really sorryyy.

—ㅤ @haneagerr x HAN JISUNG .ᐟ — ㅤtrope: best-friends to lovers .ᐟ

alexa is the type to sulk and be real quiet unless she meets someone who can bring out her craziness. so when jisung meets her on first day of high-school it's really quiet with muted replies from her. but then with gradual encounters extreme poking and loudness from hanji she releases her equally as loud self. and somewhere down that line, they realise they actually like each other a lot since they are so compatible and basically know each other's everything. and comfort? just each other.

—ㅤ @kyrjnie x KIM MINGYU .ᐟ — ㅤtrope: fake-dating .ᐟ

aquaintances in their workplace? or maybe a classmate/seatmate. the point is they don't know each other THAT well. but mingyu's adorable personality just makes her soft for the boy. plus he is helpful and brainy, so when val gets into a bad situation he decides to help her out, except they break every rule of fake-dating in the book ever. and they blame everything on the fake stuff LIKE THERE IS NO FAKE???? anyway they gradually understand (or their frnds make them do cus both of them are actually so cute and oblivious)

—ㅤ @hotteoki x JEONG YUNHO .ᐟ — ㅤtrope: grumpy x sunshine .ᐟ

no skits ain't grumpy, she has the best assortments of memes IK OKAY!! but this girl and her dm replies, god they are late! which shows her as grumpy. unless well yk someone climbs up her walls and claws down whatever is making her forget. so i think yunho would be the perfect person, always grinning with that ADORABLE SMILE and nagging her (in a good way). omg they are such adorable cuties in my head.

—ㅤ @fairyhaos x JOSHUA HONG .ᐟ — ㅤtrope: strangers to best friends .ᐟ

yena is such a sweetheart and joshua is too, i feel like they would just meet by chance, for example they took the same bus or something like that. and these two would just strike up a random convo that would fit both of them so well. like yk when you meet a person and they click instantly? THAT!! so even if their routes change they will still hang out, do crazy stuff, be a partner in crime (not literally or maybe literally idk) they are just each other's safe place

—ㅤ @daesukiii x JUNG WOOYOUNG .ᐟ — ㅤtrope: workplace romance .ᐟ

i am gonna have some fun now. so dae is so workplace romance coded and woo just fits every trope (let's be real now). imagine the scenario, wooyoung gets things wrong, he DOESN'T KNOW OKAY and god his loud whiny ass just makes it worse. so dae decides to help him till he gets the point (spoiler: he doesn't) but even when he does he purposely does shit wrong 'cause one- he is a menace, two- he can have dae close to him. and the rest is history (not really, woo messes up while he tries to ask her out making her help in that too lmao)

—ㅤ @weird-bookworm x CHWE HANSOL .ᐟ — ㅤtrope: matchmaker gone wrong .ᐟ

here's a simple advice, never let kwon soonyoung be a matchmaker. you know the twist? he match-made so many people he mixed them up and numbers got swapped. so now sky is staring at an american boy awkwardly smiling when she was supposed to meet someone named seokmin. they stare weirdly at each other before realising but they can't let a reservation go to waste so they do have the dinner. the whole thing is so awkward and quiet but it isn't uncomfy. hansol keeps telling weird stuff and sky just listens until they realise maybe this isn't SO bad (thank you hoshi). they do end up getting e/o numbers at the end and they do happen to meet up more often (they call it friend's meet but we all know so shut up)

—ㅤ @eightmakesonebraincell x PARK SEONGHWA .ᐟ — ㅤtrope: enemies to lovers .ᐟ

this will be fun. so loren is well, fun. a very different kind of fun. she is creative, spontaneous, has the most unhinged replies. so when she meets hwa who is quiet, maintains everything and reserved personality they DO NOT hit it off at all. and seonghwa just wants to avoid her at all means 'cause he does not want it wrecked all over. well too bad, because they have the same friend circle! it is always the push and pull, the tension and goodness the bickering over the smallest things. it is just seonghwa loosing his patience and loren having fun with it. until one day they realise that maybe they aren't intolerable (yk how the rest goes YES MAN I AM TALKING ABT THOSE SHY GAZES)

—ㅤ @potatomountain x KIM HONGJOONG .ᐟ — ㅤtrope: neighbours .ᐟ

i am saying this in the nicest way possible!! this friend of mine needs care okay!! and who is better at it than kim hongjoong? well, everyone. the man hardly knows how to take care of himself, forget about doom. but, that is where the cuteness lies. they complete each other yk, someone forgets something, the other keeps track (unless they both forget and panic rush into stuff) plus staying next door has its perks, they can share stuff, they have stories (teas) about other neighbours to share. overall they have a wholesome, homely and almost domestic relationship until they realise it one day OH!

—ㅤ @quhrtz x KIM TAEHYUNG .ᐟ — ㅤtrope: childhood friends to ? .ᐟ

it is just the idea of her and tae being friends from childhood making me swoon so bad. like she has social anxiety so always having a person to lean on is just so comforting yk. and tae is perfect with that adorable boxy smile of his and he doesn't have to worry about her not opening up. because they just know each other so well. bonus, they know each other's everything too so every hurt comes with comfort and every laugh shared is meaningful. and slowly it might develop into something more.

—ㅤ @sxmmerberries x KIM GYUVIN .ᐟ — ㅤtrope: meet-awkward .ᐟ

ik you are lurking here anyways so i added you too. picture a quiet café, people having nice conversations or quietly working and amidst all of that berry is having an awkward staring contest with a stranger (who is beautiful). like they are just looking at each other and staring? if that makes sense. ricky and gunwook are trying to make sense of the situation but they can't so jiwoong sighs, takes matters in his own hands and pushes gyuvin towards her. cue another awkward standing and staring at each other till jiwoong coughs AGAIN and they finally talk (somewhat) ANYWAYS IT'S A WIN OKAY, THEY GOT THEIR NUMBERS OR SOCIAL IDS WHATEVER.

[miseryoforpheus]

intro post <3

Hey there!

Im Jamie and my pronouns are They/She/he

Im a neurospicy minor (but I will swear and also am fine being moots with/talking to adults as long as no one is a creep to me it’s all good)

Uhhh welcome to my online diary :|

Happy to make friends if u want - feel free to DM me

online diary blog w lots of Neil Gaiman reblogs bc he’s my idol

Fun facts about me:

Umm ok (trying to think of fun facts now)

Im Italian but grew up in England, would love some more Italian moots <3

my favourite authors are Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett (but it’s been like that since before I read good omens lmao) also Rick Riordan and Alice Oseman

certified gravity falls child

if u couldn’t tell by the URL I’m obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology

nostalgic for a time I wasn’t even alive - late 80s and early 90s mainly but also like 70s

nostalgic for a time I WAS alive (barely but it still counts bc I do remember it) - the late 2000s

I did a quiz to see what Beatles band member I’d be and got Paul Mcartney

damn u rlly don’t realise how boring u r till u try and do an about me huh

Music I like:

Hozier, Olivia Rodrigo, Conan Gray, Harry Styles, YUNGBLUD, Beatles, Elton John, Queen, Renée Rapp, TV girl, bears in trees, Ricky Montgomery, NOAHFINNCE, MARINA, Fleetwood Mac

getting into:

Nirvana [used to love them a few years ago but then a mean girl made fun of me for it so I stopped listening to them but I’m starting again]

Dominic Fike Paramore

mother mother

MCR

the neighbourhood

The tags I will use:

Jamie answers asks - u guessed it this is for answering any asks

the most boring soap opera - my life stuff because my life is the most boring soap opera

MOTD - mood of the day which is just a lil thing I do

for the record:

I stand with Palestine 🇵🇸

please click here every day:

also free Ukraine 🇺🇦

aro and ace people are LGBTQ+ and this is an aro and ace and aroace safe blog

in general this is a COMPLETELY safe space

if u want anyone to talk to btw I’m always here to chat, can’t guarantee i’ll be able to help but I am always willing to listen literally any time we don’t even have to be moots or anything just DM me ok? Ily all take care of yourselves ok loves? <3

Also one last thing just for ppl that know me, I have no problem with u following this blog or anything but be warned that I’m not gonna filter my opinion at all on here bc I need a place to be myself and if u don’t want to see that i understand and idm just pls don’t take it as a personal attack or anything if u ever think something I post relates to you, I promise it’s not I just need to vent <3

My MOTD ratings:

0-2 > feeling really really really shitty

3-4 > shitty like I have too much sadness and anger and everything inside me and it feels horrible and yeah yk [reckless behaviour is strong here for me + pretty strong intrusive thoughts]

5 > normal. Numb. Yucky. Normal level of intrusive thoughts [for me at least, everyone is different]

6-7 > smol happy, probably was a bad day that got better

7-8 > :D

9-10 > fucking ecstatic

[flownwrong]

happy wincest wednesday alina! I'm sending this around a few boxes today. What movie that you've seen would you like to see sam and dean in, and how much do you have to mangle them to get them in there? are they having a good time? DO. THEY. KISS.????

happy ww nige! what a question haha

well it depends i guess on whether in there is like, an au/fusion or a full crossover

i think i'd love to see them in an it follows setup actually! it's basically a ready-made fuck or die (or in this case i guess DON'T FUCK or die lol) setup

in an imaginary s3 i'd put them on the case: a trail of bodies connected in ways both obvious and not; how they figure it out is irrelevant, but just imagine—

an entity able to take shapes meaningful to you follows you at a slow but dreadfully intent pace because of a one night stand you had; nobody but you (or people previously afflicted and still alive) can see it; you have to be on the run until you figure out how to kill the thing (let's pretend for a nebulous wincesty reason you don't have an immediately available solution); you know the thing will prey on whoever you sleep with next; you got the hots for your brother, and he's going to hell.

your brother would probably like to see whatever is hunting you instead of taking shots in the dark. is probably hellbent on it even because he's due for a trip to hell soon and he needs you safe period. but if you do sleep together you'd both read some kind of obligation into each other's decisions. from his perspective, he's finishing what he started, making sure that when the deal comes through you're truly and fully safe and free. make no mistake, he wants you bad. but he's probably very focused on the idea he's talked you into it and you accepted because you'll give him anything before he leaves. from your perspective, lost in your pre-grieving, he's going through with it because of his obsession with your safety, and he'll give you anything before he leaves.

I can't figure out more sound reasoning for it to happen, mine doesn't sell the idea that well, but hell, however they work it out, it will lead to one fraught and complicated sex scene.

anyway! you have this miserable fuck, you can now both see the thing, but you also both realise now there was more than duty and desperation in there, but discussing it is a moot point now, right? the deal is still just around the corner. uh oh! get on the pain train!

bonus point if the creature takes some ouchy and confusing shapes. jess or mary for sam? dad and so help me god ruby for dean? and like. IT DOESN'T TALK. it doesn't taunt you. it just... follows. coming for you. because you fucked someone for an arguably wrong reason (if we run with my sam triggered it premise, from his perspective the wrong reason would probably be losing sight of his obsessive save dean quest. although then why did he do it in the first—quick, hit that post button before you talk yourself out of it Alina!!). and you can't stop it.

bonus point two if they figure out what to do with the creature just in time to realise they didn't need to both see it after all. wow! awkward!

short answer: THEY. DO. KISS. but they have a pretty bad time :(

also, wow, that thought got away from me. all I took from the movie is the monster concept. uh. sorry!

[swishysword]

why did I never start following you I was looking for you in my list of moots and then I realised you were never there... well that's fixed now

anyways the actual question hi!! I've seen you share some lancer campaign stuff (very cool!) and I think you're running your campaign using foundry. is it a good tabletop? I've been using roll20 but I have some beef with it (I ran out of storage space pretty quick) and I checked out foundry real quick cause from what I've seen it's pretty great, but wowie that's quite the price tag (especially for my silly unemployed self).

is it worth it? you got any upsides n downsides you'd like to share with anyone thinking about using it?

thanks for hearing me out! also if I mistook your tabletop for something else you are legally allowed to fire an apocalypse rail at me

Hihi! You're right about me using foundry, I've got a few campaigns I'm running on it (the #my table tag)! Personally I've been liking it much more than I ever did roll20, but it's not quite as plug-and-play as roll20 can be. On the pilot net discord (https://discord.gg/lancer), there's actually a channel dedicated to talking about lancer and vtts, which is a good thing to check for help and options too!

Foundry's like $50 usd, but at least it's a flat price and not a subscription. Also goes on sale every few months so you could wait for one of those to grab it (as of writing this too it's on a 20% anniversary sale too until May 31st). On top of that you have to host stuff yourself, or else set up your own server—I personally set up an external host at https://foundryserver.com/ but obviously that means now I'm paying for a subscription for that and honestly you probably don't need that, I've got a friend who handle hosting herself and it works perfectly.

The thing that's both nice and a lot is the module system. It's got a browser built in so you can search both the stuff in their database, and you can put in links to stuff other people have made, which is where I've installed things like the isometrics look I've got (grape juice isometrics). It also means you do have to spend some time while doing setup adding modules, testing them, figuring out how it works, etc. It also means that if you start having errors and bugs, the debugging process can be a tedious "disable every module and then turn them on one-by-one until you find which one is the problem."

Unfortunately between having to figure out hosting and setting up modules, it's got a lot more overhead for the gm than just spinning up roll20 and having it work out the box. Flip-side, the pilot net discord is really friendly and happy to help explain things. Heck, there's even a guide on google docs (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VoSrsI_RnlDtrmshNWRdTdY5Xl3eB3oxUxEJt1Vqj44/edit#heading=h.bgdnv8sel1f) people put together for that purpose!

On that note you can almost certainly find someone there who is down to let you play around with their setup as a temp gm.

tl;dr

I think it's worth the price, but you can probably afford to wait until a sale if you're not sure. It's a lot more work for the gm/host to set up, but in turn you have a lot more you can do with it.

also while I have you here, let me get into some specifics

I use starlight furnace's art (https://starlight-furnace.itch.io/) for the tiles and backgrounds, retrograde minis for the mecha (https://www.retrogrademinis.com/) both of which are free.

For foundry modules, I'd recommend

grape_juice-isometrics

Hex Token Size Support

Grid Aware Templates

Drag Ruler

There's also some useful stuff like Drag Upload that can help making things feel more intuitive.

also let me beg your forgiveness for so many words with pretty pictures

[hanluex]

♡ MOOTING AND AMERICANOS — ROBERT ‘BOB’ FLOYD

bob floyd x reader | wc : 0.9k words | content : possible grammar and spelling mistakes, lowercase intended, mentions of food, fluff, strangers to friends to lovers, college au, phoenix and rooster being the wingpeople bob deserves

it was a cold winter morning, and bob wanted nothing more than a hot coffee to warm his day. he found another cutesy café as he walked towards his usual stop and halted in front of it.

the coffee shop he liked was always crowded. he wanted to find a new spot, anyway.

his phone rang before he entered the café and he answered it, greeting the caller with a smile. “hello, phoenix! long time no call.” he chuckled, making the female on the other line laugh as well.

“yeah, i have been busy with our assignments. i wanted to talk to you about it. are you busy, floyd?“

“not really. i just came to get a coffee. what’s up?” bob walked through the door, nodding at the staff at the counter before taking a seat, thinking of giving his order later.

“our assignment was to create a marketing model for a product. but that isn’t my area of expertise. i was hoping you could help me out? since you have done this assignment for your summer work, yeah?“

bob hummed. “yep. for extra credit. have you picked a product so i can give it a look? because most students just repeat the layout and ...” he trailed off, blinking rapidly as his eyes landed on a familiar figure, checking if it was you.

you were an art student in the same university bob studied business in. since you two majored in different areas, you never came across each other.

until your university started these mooting sessions where the batch got together for a few debates — regardless of what they majored in.

you and bob were part of the july batch and ended up having your mooting sessions together, which was where he first came across you.

the instructor conducting the debates was your uncle, and you were always stating dumb pointers and jokes to make everyone laugh — including your uncle.

the way you confidently spoke and your funny jokes had bob in a trance. it didn’t help that you were friendly, either.

as a punishment once, your uncle made you introduce yourself to the whole july batch, and instead of announcing it to everyone, you went to each student, introducing yourself to all 100 of them, just to piss off your uncle.

when you came to bob, your warm smile and your bright eyes captured him. your introduction was one he couldn’t forget no matter how hard he tried, and he realised maybe it was love at first sight for him.

things only got better when you dropped by his classes during your free periods, since you were interested in business.

bob also volunteered (after much pressure from natasha and bradley) to model for the art students, as they needed models for their realistic still-life examples.

with his friends’ interference, you two crossed paths more often, and you too got interested in the male, finding it odd how you two always saw each other despite your different majors.

you waved off your infatuation as a mere crush, thinking bob would never be interested in you — without knowing how he actually felt about you.

hopefully, you two would realise it this time around.

“bob? are you there?” natasha pulled bob out of his trance when she exclaimed over the phone. “and what?“

“and, uh ...” the male watched as you made your way over to his table, a bright smile on your face. “... sorry, nat, what was i saying?”

you saw bob on the phone and mouthed ‘americano’ to him, hoping he’d get what you say. he smiled at you, finding the way you spoke endearing.

you wrote it down on your notepad, showing it to him, and he nodded, surprised to see you had written his order correctly.

“you there, baby on board?“

“uh, yeah ... kinda ... i guess.” you held back a smile as you heard his response, giving a small nod as you turned around to get his order ready.

natasha chuckled on the other line, finding bob’s antics amusing. “if you are busy, bob, i’ll call you later. we can talk another time, it’s fine. alright?” she inquired, causing the male to nod before he answered.

“i’m not busy, nat, but i’ll hold you to that call. you remember that girl i talked to you about?”

“yeah, y/n, right?“

“she’s working in this café i walked into.”

“no wonder you are so spaced out. now shoo off and make a move, lover boy. i gotta share this goss with bradshaw,” natasha spoke, letting out a laugh as she ended the call.

you soon brought a tray with an americano and a slice of chocolate cake. “here is your order, sir,” you cheekily stated, even though you knew bob. “and the cake is on the house.”

“on the house?”

“well, it’s out of my paycheck, but the same difference, no?”

the male chuckled. “how did you know about the americano?” he inquired, his smile never fading.

you thought over your words, wondering how to answer without sounding like a stalker. “i, uh, notice you always buy an americano and chocolate pastry when you come for mooting.” your grip on the tray tightened as you spoke. “we didn’t have pastries, but i thought a cake would be alright too.”

“i didn’t think you would know much about me, y/n.”

“well, if you can stay until my shift is over, i would love to get to know you more, robert.”

TAGLIST: SEND AN ASK OR DM TO BE ADDED!

[forsakenmis]

Calming her down

Title: Calming her down Pairing: top!Wanda Maximoff x female!reader Rating: 18+ Incredibly NSFW Warnings: Dark Wanda, kind of non-con, strap on, fingering, mummy kink, post-WV finale so spoilers if you haven’t seen it. also i haven’t editted it so beware grammar and spelling mistakes. Word count:  4215 words

It had taken far too long to track her down. Why they asked you to do it, you weren’t really sure. It’s not as if you and Wanda ever really talked, or even made eye contact, during the years as an avenger. Yet you were given the task of pulling her back onto the rails, rails she’s apparently veered pretty badly. You really think Doctor Strange, the Gandalf of wizards, would be a lot better at handling her than you would be. Or even Clint, the guy who was her mentor. But no-no one wanted to reach out to her, even though they spent years arguing that she needed to be supervised. You could go on for days how you being the person being sent is the most ridiculous idea they could have had.

You weren’t even a super, or an avenger, you started off as a shield agent who was then thrown into Stark Industries as Tony’s intern. Fury wanted an in and you were that in. Then everything went bottoms up and you became a slightly more valuable member of the group. Support, really.

After the snap, you just wanted a stable life. A normal life. By the time they contacted you to do this, you’d applied to a college. No, a university. In Australia, which was far, far away from New York. The briefing was simple. Wanda, left to her own devices in her time of need, went to try to handle her own grief after stealing Vision’s body from S.W.O.R.D. You were being asked to go try to talk some sense into her. Then, within the week of you repeatedly saying no, it turned out the head of S.W.O.R.D. was a bastard which you could have seen coming from a mile away, and Wanda was god knows where.

They promised you they’d leave you alone after this.

So you said yes.

What could go wrong?

You were still asking herself that three weeks later when you were sitting there still trying to find out where exactly she went. Wanda wasn’t going to be easy to find, especially considering she didn’t want to be found but you did it. It was four in the morning when you finally narrowed down a list of ten possible locations that she could be in. You were too tired to even crack a smile, you fell back onto your bed to sleep.

Your celebration was sleep for by the next morning, you were trekking across the world and came to the outskirts of a property with the view of the mountains. Pretty, sure, but you didn’t think Wanda was here for the view.

It was eerily quiet when you walked up to the door. That type of quiet they put into horror movies before they pulled out a jump scare. You didn’t trust it. Then again-not that there was anything around to make noise. Wanda could be asleep, as maybe all this isolation has meant she’s forsaken a body clock.

Still-you trusted it as much as you could lift Mjollnir and you couldn’t even make it shift.

The curtains were closed, you couldn’t see anything as you walked up the two steps and you had to stop your hand from hovering over your handgun. It would have been more of a self assurance. You couldn’t dream of winning against Wanda in a fight, both of you would be aware of that, but you couldn’t exactly imagine she’d be that trusting of you if you walked in holding a gun. So you fiddled with the watch around your wrist, it was a gift from Tony years ago.

You could have brought reinforcement, sure, but that seemed like a moot point considering you were trying to gain her trust, somewhat. The reinforcement would have been S.W.O-oh whatever, sword, you don’t have the time for formality. And sword made such a huge mess of it the first time round so you didn’t think they were going to help this time round. You tried calling Clint, but he was busy, apparently. Too busy to pick up your calls.

This was definitely a suicide mission.

You knocked three times with the back of your knuckles and listened, trying to hear any hint of movement.

Nothing.

You knocked again. Knock. Knock. Knock. Not even a creak.

Maybe she was asleep or maybe, dare you say it, had gotten it wrong. God, you’d hate for some old man to swing the door open.

Your hand dropped to the handle, going to test the lock, but then it swung open and if it wasn’t for your own instincts, you would have stumbled forward.

Wanda.

Your eyes slammed onto her face and, for the first time in years, you fumbled. She looked different, way too different for your liking, she looked older since Tony’s funeral. Mature. More confident in herself. You could think of a different million ways to describe her in that split second.

She’d always been pretty before but this Wanda was…gorgeous. This Wanda could also read minds.

You cut your thoughts short and took in a slight breath. Wanda wasn’t saying anything and her only acknowledgement was the slight hook of her brow.

“Wanda,” you began before forcing a smile onto yourself, “long time no see.”

“So they sent you, of all people,” Wanda remarked and you made a face. Sure-she was right but that was, quite frankly, rude.

“They suggested I come and I wanted to come,” you lied, “to see how you were doing...okay, look, I know we never talked. Or interacted. I know that. I was probably not the most open to you as I could have been.” Wanda was continuing to stare at you. She was dressed in jeans and a white t-shirt. A shirt that arguably was one size too small for her. You weren’t really sure what to say, if you were honest, you’d spent so much time trying to find her, tracking her down like a puzzle, that you forgot to plan for this interaction.

“But I like to think we were on good terms,” you continued. Worst thing she could do was close the door in your face and you were more than happy to camp outside. “Enough that you’ll hear me out. I heard about your book, the darkhold–” That’s when you got a reaction out of her. Her eyes narrowed, growing even colder, and you could see her grip tightening on the door. “–we need to talk. Please-just let me in. I’m not going to fight you. We both know I can’t do that.”

You were keeping your thoughts clear. You didn’t want her reading you.

After a second, Wanda swung the door open wider and let you in.  

Your eyes scanned the room the moment you entered the threshold, looking for all the exits, before you turned back to Wanda. Wanda, who had closed the door, and had started walking towards you, close enough that you took a step back but found yourself hitting the back of a table.

Now that she was right up in your personal space, close enough that you could smell the soap she was using. Your heart was beating now.

“So you came for the book?” She asked, staring down at you. She was only a couple of inches taller than you but it may as well have been more.

“No, I came here to help you. And I know that book isn’t helping you, no matter how much you think it is. Wanda, that book is dangerous,” you said, gaining enough courage that you pushed yourself off the table to step forward, getting into Wanda’s space just as she was in yours.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Wanda remarked but she didn’t move. “You’re as bullheaded as you used to be, never knowing when a fight was too big for you. I remember all those times Nat and Steve had to throw themselves on the line because you’d done something reckless.” “That’s rich coming from you.” “I could protect myself,” Wanda snapped back. “So where are they? The rest of them. The people that said they were my family. Were you all that they had?”

You clenched your teeth. Don’t say the truth. “They wanted a woman’s touch with it,” you lied. “There isn’t that many of us who were close to you back then anymore.”

It was really only Nat and maybe Pepper who were close to Wanda. Both were a little preoccupied as of right now (for different reasons) to come knocking on Wanda’s door.

“A woman’s touch?” Wanda echoed, saying it in a way that made you clench your teeth. It was a raspy whisper. “And what, may I ask, would that entail?”

With the way she said it, you were pretty sure that Wanda wasn’t meaning it in the same way you were. Albeit, your meaning was rather off as well. In that you had no idea what that would entail either.

Wanda must have realised this and took a step back. “I suggest you leave,” she said and you hesitated before shaking your head.

“I won’t do that,” you said and she frowned. “They asked me to calm you down–”

“Calm me down?” She repeated, pronouncing each syllable, and it was as if the temperature dropped ten degrees. “Calm me down.” Then she smirked and it made you roll back on your heels.

“As long as you have that book, yes,” you said, “how about this–I take the book and then I go. You’ll think more rational without it, Maximoff, you know that. Deep down. You’re smart, Wanda, smarter than anyone ever gave you credit for. Besides Vision–”

“Don’t say his name,” Wanda snarled and suddenly she was in front of you again, hand around your throat, “do you understand me? He doesn’t exist here, not with you around.”

You didn’t really know what she meant but you ran with it and nodded. Her hand was tight and your airway was becoming a little too blocked for your liking.

She stared down at you, her eyes hard and cold, but then they softened and her grip loosened but they still didn’t leave your skin.

“You know, I might have pursued you back then, if it wasn’t for him,” Wanda began and you blinked. What? “You were everything I liked in a girl. Besides your recklessness….and stubbornness...but I think I can deal with that pretty easily.”

“Wanda, I’m flattered, really, but how about we focus,” you said, carefully, deciding to take that with a grain of salt and then over analyse it at three in the morning. Like how could you be cock blocked by a bloody robot? “Just give me the book and I’ll leave you in peace. I’ll make sure no one comes looking for you–” “You can’t promise me that,” Wanda remarked before she dropped her hand to take a step back. Then she looked you up and down. “You said they wanted you to calm me down, right? How about I keep both you and the book.”

You would like to say you were able to fight back. Prevent Wanda from knocking you out. But you were gone by the time she finished her sentence.

----

When light streamed into your eyes, the first thing you registered was the soft pillow underneath your head. Then you felt the rest of the bed and your eyes sprung open.

Your legs were bent up and out, Wanda’s red mist wrapped around your ankles and knees to keep them up. Meanwhile, your wrists were stuck to the headboard. Then your eyes rested on….Wanda?

Transparent Wanda reading that bloody book. You swear to god-you’ll burn that book the moment you get your hands–

“You’ll do no such thing,” Wanda’s voice cut through your apparently rather loud thoughts. You turned your head, trying to find her, and there she was in the doorway, sipping a cup of tea, watching you. Then she kicked off it and moved into the room and slid the mug onto a table before coming to the bed. “Maybe I’ll let you hold it one day as I read it.”

“I don’t...I don’t understand, Wanda, let me go,” you whispered as you began to struggle, pulling on the restraints again and again, but they weren’t budging. Neither was Wanda.

“I don’t think I want to,” Wanda hummed as she pushed herself onto the bed, “you see, I lost everything. My brother, Vision, Nat, Steve, my two boys, then Vision again. I lose every single family I ever have. Maybe this time I’ll succeed. I’m trying to find them, you see, with the book. Find them and pull them out. We can live here, happy, away from everyone.”

“We’ve done this story before Wanda, it didn’t–” “This time will be different, I’ll be more powerful, I won’t mess up this time,” Wanda pressed as her hands went to your inner thighs, moving them up and down your clothed skin. “And, when it comes to you, what they don’t know won’t hurt them. I don’t think I’ll let them see you. No, you can be my little secret. I stared at you for too many years, let you whore yourself out to other people. Not anymore.”

You drew your brows together. This couldn’t be happening.

“As you said, you’re meant to calm me down, right? Meant to pull me off some edge because everyone else was just too busy,” Wanda said as she positioned herself between your legs, bending down to kiss your jawline. You throbbed and pulled on the red strands wrapped around your wrist, but to no avail. “But I can think of another edge you can get close to,” she whispered as she pulled away again.

“Wanda, what are you–”

Her fingers slid in between your thighs, pressing into your heat, and a sharp gasp left your mouth. She began to rub through your jeans, cupping your heat, and you tugged again. This time, the red scratched the watch around your wrist and suddenly your clothes had snapped into the red armour Tony had built you years ago. Protective armour that replaced whatever you were wearing in a nick of time.

Useful.

The shift was enough to push Wanda off you and she stared down at the red and black armour with a slight tilt of her head.

“Well, that won’t do, will it?” She asked as her hands trailed down the cool metal. “Neat trick. Tony’s design, right?”

“Of course,” you responded after a moment, your chest rising up and down. There was no point in denying it-it was obviously Tony’s. Right down to the colours.

Wanda’s eyes turned red as the red mist circled around her hand as she lowered it back down. You flinched when you felt it slink in between the small crevices. The suit was meant to be protected against outside substances, able to go into water, but you supposed Tony didn’t exactly build it against Wanda.

“Wanda, you don’t–” “If you don’t be quiet, I’ll make you, do you understand me?” She hissed as she bucked her hand backwards and the suit around your hips ripped off you and tossed across the room. You whined as the cold air hit your bare skin, contrasting the building heat in between your legs.  

You were left with nothing but the top half and the pants that wrapped around your thigh. “Much better.”

With that, she went back to what she was doing before but this time there was nothing to prevent her from slipping her fingers through your slick folds, the tips of her nails teasing your entrance.

“Look at you, already so wet,” she cooed and you gritted your teeth. This really couldn’t be happening. This was a dream. She could control reality, this was just a dream. “This isn’t me in your head, sweetheart, trust me–I would have cut the foreplay if I was creating this.”

She continued to massage your heat and it took you everything you had not to moan.

“Why are you…” you tried saying but you were cut short, once again, when her fingers found your hooded clit, using the tips of her nails to start playing with it. You bucked your hips instinctively and she chuckled.

“You said you wanted to help me, right?” Wanda asked and the building heat was beginning to become a little too much. “So how about this, sweetheart, you help mummy out by becoming mummy’s little stress reliever.”

Two fingers suddenly plunged into your entrance and your back arched. At least your clit got a little bit of a break but it wasn’t long until her palm began to grind against it as she thrusted the fingers into your tight entrance. Each thrust expanded your walls, letting her in even deeper, your own arousal making her movements slick and quick.

“Wand-” you began to moan but it morphed into a sharp yelp when she pulled her fingers out to slap your cunt.

“You’re a smart girl, sweetheart, it’s how you got around Tony for so long. I think you know exactly what you want to be calling me,” she said and suddenly she was back down so that her face was only inches away from yours and her fingers slid back inside of you.

Unlike last time, though, it wasn’t rough and sharp. Her fingers were slow as they moved inside of you, curling at the tips, scratching your walls. Exploring. She was exploring you and you could do nothing but whimper and moan.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? I know you would. Look at you, already so wet and submissive for me,” she whispered, scattering kisses down your jawline as she reached your ear to nibble on your earlobe. “I’ll keep you in here for as long as I need you. Ride your pretty little mouth as I read that book, fill you up again and again until you’re passing out. All you have to do is be a good little girl.”

Heat was curling through your body, that buzzing sort of heat, that made your vision blur. Your teeth were clamped together. You wanted to moan, they were in your throat, but even when you opened your mouth, no sound came out. Just silent moans. The fingers moving inside of you had grabbed all your attention.

Then she scratched that little sweet spot and it was that that pushed out a moan that bounced around the room. Wanda laughed, hitting it again and again.

“Let your mummy hear your moans, sweetheart,” she said before she pulled back to kiss you on the mouth, biting hard on your lip so you wouldn’t even try to close your mouth and stop the tongue that slid into your mouth.

Your stomach was twisting into knots at this point and seemed like every other muscle seemed to be cramping. You were close to climax. Your walls clenched around Wanda’s fingers. Just a little bit–

You groaned when she peeled herself off you. You blinked up at her, looking through what seemed like tears, as you were denied that relief. Relief from the throbbing coming from your cunt.

“You want to cum, baby?” Wanda asked as she pulled off her shirt. Underneath was a simple black bra that was quickly disposed of. Your eyes, naturally, landed on her chest. A chest that, even under the circumstances, made you drool. Wanda’s clicking your fingers drew your eyes back up. “Eyes on mummy, sweetheart. God, you really are a little whore, aren’t you? Tell me-do you want to cum?” You pulled on your restraints just once more but all it seemed to do was to make it even tighter.

You nodded, jerkily.

“Use your words, sweetheart, I very clearly established you’re not mute,” Wanda remarked as her fingers went down to her jeans, fiddling with her button.

“Yes. Please, I want to,” you mumbled, knowing you won’t be coming back from this point. Then again-if she could make you feel like that again...maybe that wasn’t so bad.

Wanda tilted her head as she hummed, not having to move much to slap your sore cunt again and you jerked. “Say it politely and maybe I’ll consider it.” You scrunch your eyes shut and mewled when she began to knead your pulsating clit again. “M-mummy, please,” you whispered and her hands left your cunt. Before you could even open your eyes, you felt her lips on yours. Soft, gentle...loving.

“Good girl...that wasn’t so hard, was it?” She asked and you could hear the ruffling of her pants as she kicked them off. “Now...mummy’s going into your head, okay? I promise it won’t be long.” You began to struggle again but the warmth of her powers quickly washed over you. Your memories began playing the past three months. You tracking her down. Refusing back up.

Then she was out again.

“You really told no one where you were going? Almost as if you wanted this to happen,” She said as she shifted on top of you. Shifted that you felt something rub up against your entrance and you flinched. She...she was packing. “Of course I am, sweetheart, do you really think I wasn’t prepared for you? I knew you were coming from a mile away, honey.”

And with that, she pushed the strap inside of you, not bothering to wait for you to adjust until she was completely inside of you. You arched your back again, pressing into Wanda’s naked body, as the pain of being ripped open rushed through your body. You moaned and grunted as you grew adjusted to the width and length of Wanda.

“Come on, baby, you can do it,” Wanda murmured into your lips and suddenly your wrists were freed. But then her own hands came up to wrap around them to press them against the pillows herself. “I know you’ve taken bigger. Do you think we didn’t know? Didn’t know you and Nat were fucking every other night?” The comment drew you out, just for a moment, and you shook your head but all she did was pull back slightly to slam inside of you again.

“Don’t lie to me,” Wanda snarled, “tell me, tell me the truth. Use your words.”

It took only a few more thrusts of her strap filling you up again and again that the words began to spill out of your lips. “S-she found out. About my status as a shield status. Fuck,” you hissed out, barely able to hear your own words over the lude noises of Wanda beginning to pound into you. This wasn’t fair-you couldn’t dream of talking when she was fucking you like this.

“So you whored yourself out to her to make sure she kept her mouth shut,” Wanda said, finishing the sentence and you nodded jerkily. “You little slut. I bet you liked it too, just like how you like me pounding into you. But you’re mine now. Not hers. Not Tony’s. Mine. My little whore.”

She shifted upwards so that her chest was dangling above your face. “Suck your mommy's tit, baby, I saw you admire them before.”

It was a welcome change, you had to admit, to trying to formulate sentences and words around the moans and screams spilling out of your mouth. Your head leaned forward, closing the distance, so your mouth could wrap around her erect nipple and your walls clenched around her strap as you heard her moan.

Her hand moved to the top of your head, her nails scraping against your scalp as she interwove her fingers through your messy hair. Your tongue lapped at the small bud between your teeth and she began to move her hips in time with your tongue.

Your now free hand wrapped around her body so your nails were digging into her shoulder, drawing Wanda down even closer so you could take more of her tit into her mouth.

The same heat that had built before was coming back, and you weren’t sure how long you could hold on at this point.

“You can cum whenever you want, baby, just this once,” Wanda purred, hearing your thoughts, and it was all you needed, that confirmation, to come undone. Your walls clenched around the strap and you could feel Wanda slowing down as thrusting became just a tad more difficult and you screamed into her tits, careful not to clamp your jaw shut, as the orgasm rushed through you.

Even through it, she continued moving inside of you, and you almost felt like you could pass out.

“Good girl,” Wanda whispered. “Oh, I could get used to this. I’m going to keep you in here, do you hear me? Make you a good little whore for me to come home to.” They did say your mission was to help Wanda calm down.

[romqnticstylez]

500 Followers

hjshdjshajhxwi how. how did this happen- i literally only shitpost and reblog stupid stuff lol but. THANK YOU! i appreciate every single one of my followers and mutuals <3 you all are amazing

kay cheesy part over for now so. i'm holding a ✨ sleepover ✨ that I did not decide on in a split second. feel free to send me as many asks as you'd like! (read: please don't let this flop). i'll answer all of them.

this sleepover will be open from 27/10/21 until 3/11/21. anyone can participate, follower or not!

i was gonna do emojis but i realised it might be boxes for some people so you get the titles of my favourite songs instead

don't look down - send me a ship for a fic rec

dandelions - send me a ship/character for an attempt at a moodboard.

i think about you (mutuals only) - i'll give you a small handwritten note

steal your heart (close mutuals only)- you get a voice reveal 😌✨

heaven - send me a ship with a scenario for a drabble (if someone dares to send me drarry i will murder you/hj)

domino - cym, fmk, never have i ever, all that.

vacation bible school - i’ll make you a spotify playlist based on things i think you’d like.

okaY cheesy part is back for some of my closEST mutuals

@justadreamyhufflepuff helloo wife bestie child ok so you're so sweet and friendly i thought talking to you would be kinda awkward at first because yk new mutual 👀 and all but it was so EASY i love that and i love how we just start talking in caps lock and our convos are so chaotic full of energy anyways ily thank u for being my friend <3

@g1nny-p0tter hi mother and only mother (for now) you were so dry at first smh but you gave me a cat so i kept talking to u/j 🐈 and now we're besties and i spam you everyday lol you're amazing and you're the reason i cannot fathom typing without keyboard smashhjjsdh lol ily <3

@roonilwazlibweasley hi im in love with u you were my first moot and like when i first started posting i didn't think i'd make any friends here (not in the 'no one likes me' way but im not gonna make this long w an explanation jsjjsd 😀) but then u were (are) so cool so i sent u that ask and now we're the coolest married ppl on tumblr <3

@mx28 we don't talk as much now but. i think u were the reason i started being more chaotic here slowly and now everyone knows im unhinged 👍 but anyways ily u larry louis mel obsessed samosa with a wing kink

@lev-will-commit-treason beginning of our friendship was. beautiful <3 i never did sacrifice u tho did i 😕😕 lol anyways i love u spamming me and ur so chaotic and cool and weird but in a good way so u get another <3 one of my triplets my wife my child love ya

@loonyloopylupin5 following u back was the smartest decision I've ever made tbh i like ur dead james jokes :) jsjdjshuhid ur cool and funny and ur stories are >>> also your mum rocks 😎😎 ly other triplet wife and child

@livingincolorsagain can i start this by saying i had a stroke when you followed me lmaojskdskajd no but really i was literally :0 when u did lol anyway aijdjds you're amazing 10/10 humor and taste talking to you always makes me smile so please stop dying/j 🐬🐬

@fuck-spooky-season @sethclearwatermybeloved hello. u two together because i need to go finish my cat 👍 love murdering people with u riri and spamming u is very fun jade <3 but fr i love talking to you both 🦆 also i do not remember if u actually know each other or not but we should go murder 500 homophobes

now my other moots who i also love v much because you’re supposed to do that or something- <3

@1-until-the-very-end-1 (i'm giving u an honorary mention for that ^ because i got lazy forgive me please anyways that's why you get to be first tagged mwah) @creative-girl @toomanynotifications @dr4cking @nousheen @wolfstar-lb @simp-for-cedric-diggory @femaledoubleagent @sappho-is-my-wife @athenapotter @imapparentlycoolandfriendly @vegathebrighteststar @hyacinths-on-my-grave @alpine-loves-bucky @maraudersupremacy1 @marauders-lupin @canyon-perk @tolerate-it-tomlinson @just-a-smol-spoon @just-a-potterhead @nymphadorathebubba @siriusblackinskirts @remuslupininskirts @jamespotterinskirts @i-do-random-things-do-not-ask @regulusblackinskirts @kember-writes @myopicmeerkat @i-is-a-fangurl-weeb @i-wanna-b-yours @fangirl2o20 @they-ca-llme-princess @sassychaostrash @geetikarandamgirl @magic-is-beauty + everyone else i forgot because i, being the amazing mutual i am, forgot everyone’s urls.

[itshardcandy]

Stormy Night

Kim Seokjin x Reader

Written for my fav moot bc I love her @a-noona-mous ❤️

~1.3k words

Genre: Strangers to lovers (kind of), fluff

Warnings: None, except for one (1) awful pun

-----

“Noona, I need your help... again”

The grumpy guy from last night leaned over the counter,

“You know that book you recommended yesterday? I already finished it and I need a new one”

He explained, an innocent smile gracing his lips. You sighed and pulled of your glasses,

“You know, you’ve been coming here for the last two weeks straight; by now I would think that you know what kind of novel I’ll recommend”

You replied. You watched the gears in his head turn a little at your statement. This guy had basically been harassing you for the last two weeks; coming in every night and asking for new books to read. If your professor didn’t make this library work a requirement for your research position, you would have gotten the heck out of here already because sitting behind this counter for 8 hours a day had not been as much fun as he promised it would be.

“But I like hearing you talk about them, first”

He schmoozed and you couldn’t help but smile. He was kind of cute, though, the harasser; tall, broad shoulders, handsome face with beautiful, full lips... You had to respect his determination; and since he had never really been annoying our outright rude in his clumsy advances, you humoured him.

“You like hearing me talk about the fluffiest, most cliché romance novels ever written? That’s a first” You joked and he huffed, as if you had insulted him,

“Of course, you always make it sound so romantic”,

“Well, that’s the point, isn’t it? Of a romance novel?”,

“I guess but most of the time it sounds stupid and overrated. Most of the time I think ‘Why beat a dead horse’ but you always find a new perspective. I like that. It’s inspiring”,

“Huh... thanks, I guess”

You were taken aback at his sincerity. You had not expected such a reply and you had to admit, it made your cheeks feel a little hot. You prided yourself on the fact that you were able to enjoy romance novels for what they were and not what they were made out to be and it was refreshing to have someone recognise the same thing.

He smiled at you, knowing he had said something good right there,

“So, will you show me a new one?”

You leaned back in your chair and regarded him carefully. This felt like a defining moment in your, up until now, friendly and professional relationship. Were you ready to succumb to his flirting? You definitely had some real good reads in mind for him but they were a little more on the raunchy side and you weren’t sure what kind of message that would send, or what message you wanted to send, in the first place...

“You know what? I think I have something... let me check where to find it”,

“Ah Noona, I knew you wouldn’t let me down”

You smiled and caught him winking before you turned your attention towards your computer screen to check the shelf number for that particular thing you had in mind. He waited patiently as you typed the criteria in extra slowly.

“Ok, it’s in the back, far end of the hall to the right, shelf number 36 section D. It’s called “Stormy night”. You’ll find it, I’m sure”

You explained and he nodded,

“Alright, I’ll try my best”

He walked a few steps backwards, holding your gaze for a few seconds before he turned and walked right into one of the shelves.

“Ow, fuck...” he mumbled and rubbed the back of his head before he awkwardly checked whether you had noticed. Of course, you had; you thought about warning him but you also needed some entertainment once in a while. You hid your laugh behind your hand and watched him disappear into the maze of shelves.

A few minutes later he still hadn’t returned and you wondered if he had gotten lost. Which was of course a little unlikely but you could never know. You rose from your seat to have a better view of the room but you couldn’t spot him anywhere. He was likely strolling around between the tall shelves in the back, trying to find the book. You sighed and sat back down and tried to focus back on your work instead of his orientational issues. He would have to be fine on his own for now. Suddenly the phone rang and you jumped a little at the sudden noise.

“Jeez...”

You mumbled before picking up,

“University library services, how can I help?”,

“So uh, I think I’m lost”,

“Lost?”,

“Yeah, see... the cute librarian at the counter gave me directions to one of the shelves but I just can’t seem to find it”

Oh, you realised. It was him calling. You covered the speaker with one hand and tried to laugh quietly.

“Well, we can’t have that. What kind of help do you need, Sir?”,

“It would be great if you could send someone out here to help me find it”

You could hear the smirk in his voice,

“Of course, where are you right now?”,

“I’m at the right shelf, I just need help with finding the book”

He said and you shook your head in disbelief while chuckling to yourself,

“I’ll send someone over”,

“Can’t you come yourself?”,

“Well, I’m really busy at the moment, I don’t know if I can abandon my post like this...”,

“What if I ask really nicely?”,

“I guess I can make an exception, you sound like you’re in dire need of help”,

“Definitely”,

“Stay put, I’ll be right out”

You hung up and left your place behind the counter, smoothing your skirt and blouse as you navigated through the shelf maze.

You spotted him soon enough, leaning against the dark wood, watching you approach,

“So, you can’t find the book, hm?”

You teased as you walked up to him and he pushed off the shelf, standing at full height,

“Yeah, this is all so confusing”

He gestured to the mass of books and smiled,

“It’s right over here...”

You walked past him and stopped in the middle section, tracing the books with your finger until you stopped over ‘Stormy Night’. You pulled it out and held it up in front of yourself. He smiled brightly and took it.

“Wow, Noona, you’re so good at this, I never would have found it without your help. Although...”

He said and looked at you expectantly,

“Need something else?”

You ask, expecting to be part of another fetch mission,

“Actually yes, there is something else I forgot to ask for, earlier”,

“I’m all ears”

He stepped a little closer and gazed down at you, making your cheeks heat again.

“Your number”

He said with the most serious expression and you burst into laughter,

“What? My number? What would you need that for?”,

“To ask you out obviously”

Now he was smiling again and you cleared your throat and tried to seem unbothered again,

“Well, uh. I did not expect that, to be honest”,

“Really? I thought getting you out here to help a clueless patron would be a clever rouse and you would be prepared for shenanigans”

He straightens his posture a little,

“I was prepared for shenanigans but not to be asked for my number and a date”

You say and he puts the book back onto the shelf,

“Well, you should always be prepared when you see me”,

“For a date or shenanigans?”,

“Why must one exclude the other?”,

“I see... well, I guess I’m down for both”,

you pull your phone out and his eyes grow big,

“Really?”

“Yeah, here’s my number”

You show him the screen and he quickly pats down his pockets for his own phone to copy your number. After he typed it in, he looks at you, squinting his eyes a little in question,

“You know, I’ve been calling you Noona this whole time and I don’t even know your name...”

You grin and prepare yourself for an awful joke,

“I guess you could say I’m... anoonamous”,

He chuckles and takes your hand,

“Well, it’s nice to meet you anoonamous, I’m Jin”

[levi-supreme]

I can't help but wonder if no one participates in your self ship events is it because you don't think they want to do it or do you actively interact with your followers? I don't see how you can be upset if you don't try and at least reach out to people who might follow you but don't interact because you might not interact with them first? I don't know about you but I would participate if I knew you better and you actively talk to more people? Some people are shy and need someone else to initiate conversation.

Hi anon, thank you for this message. I would like to break down my response to you into two parts: (a) engagement and interaction, and (b) participation.

(a) Engagement and interaction

I don't think you know this, but this blog is a side blog. Sadly, it is harder to interact with others because I can only do it through my main. Some of my moots are following both my main and this writing blog, while some are only following either one.

Touching on this, I do try to interact, and I really put in a lot of effort to reach out and try to interact with everyone here. I have (i) Anonymous Tuesdays where people can talk to me about anything on anon, (ii) Thirsty Thursday for people to send thirsts, (iii) Self-Ship Sunday for self-indulgence and talking about your self-ships, and (iv) I have Rei's Ask Games too.

I live in Asia, in GMT+8 timezone, which is 12hrs ahead of EST and 15hrs ahead of PST. However, I always try to post in EST because I know majority of tumblr users are in EST.

Therefore, it hurts me to see you say that I "don't try and at least reach out to people who might follow" me, because I really do, and I am really trying very hard to increase the engagement here on this blog.

For example, I stared Anonymous Tuesday so that people who are shy or anxious to interact with me using their main blogs can do so on anon. I really do try to put in the effort to reach out to my followers. But, if they do not respond, then I can't force them to, right?

(b) Participation

This brings me to my second point. I can reblog and host many fun events, but what can I do if no one responds to me? There have been many instances where I reblog ask games over here in hopes that my followers would send me something. However, none of them do, and I always end up deleting these posts because of anxiety. So, maybe you can tell me anon. Am I not trying hard enough? Or maybe I need to have more fun ideas to engage my followers?

Of course I would love for people to participate in my events. But then again, I can try as hard to keep posting and telling people to join my events. But it is up to my followers to decide if they want to.

Also, you made a point regarding how some people are shy and need others to initiate conversation. I agree with you, because I am like that. I started talking on anon to certain people and I only started using my main to talk to them after I felt more comfortable. I know I may seem like I'm very cheerful and friendly based off my replies and the way I talk, but in actual fact I am actually very shy and I'm always scared to start talking to others.

Also, as I mentioned in my first point, this blog is a side blog. Who knows, maybe you've seen me interacting with my main blog, but you never connected the dots and realise that I am also my main blog? Maybe one thing I could have worked on is to promote my side blog to others more? But then again, I feel very nervous in doing that, because I'll have anxiety promoting myself.

And to be fair, we all need to give and take. I cannot always be the one going around interacting with people. Some people also have to reach out to me too, because this is how communication works. There needs to be a balance.

I thank you for this ask anon, because it seems like you don't know me well, and I hope this reply allowed you to understand me a little better. If you disagree with anything I said, feel free to send me another ask, or send me a dm. I am more than glad to talk to you.

[hellroots]

『 MOBILE FRIENDLY RULES 』

— here you will find my rules or can also find them on my gdocs as well once i’m done with it. please like this if you read it, but otherwise don’t interact with this post, thank you. rest assured that i always read my moots rules before following and that i fully expect the same courtesy. i tried not to let them get too long but feel free to ask me anything you wanna know about them if it’s not clear ok?

 『 THE MUN』

NOXTROMUN, THEY/THEM, 21+, BRAZILIAN

shy but friendly ! i don't follow for follow, if i follow you that means i've read your rules and want to write with you. i have no triggers nor squicks of my own except drama in the dash, for that reason i do not engage in callouts/witch hunts and if you do it on a constant basis i might have to hard block you for my own peace of mind. although i may come off too strong/harsh, i am always up to talking things out privately. as long as you are civil, so am i. any form of hate will be deleted and blocked -  sometimes mocked, if i’m feeling cocky…

『 THE BLOG』

HELLROOTS, INDIE ( POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING AND NOT MINOR FRIENDLY ), HIGHLY SELECTIVE & PRIVATE MULTIFANDOM MULTIMUSE

primarily run on a low activity \ effort and with a slow speed.. my muselist changes a lot, depends a lot on what i’m watching lately so bear with me please. this is a drama free zone, therefore do realise that mun ≠ muses and (obviously) writing ≠ condoning !! as a quick note, do keep in mind that my blog is my safe space, just as your blog is yours - you are responsible for your own internet experience just as i am responsible for mine. should anything in my blog annoy/trigger/squick you, i strongly encourage you to block me & not write with me - your mental health is far more important ( for me, and hopefully for you as well ) than rp. on that note, please do not softblock me - that’s annoying, just hardblock please.

『 THE TRIGGERS』

TRIGGER HEAVY, PROPERLY TAGGED AND TAKING NO CRAP

i  usually  tend to write for trigger heavy fandoms (such as asoiaf, kingdom and others) and may incorporate some of it into my writing, muses' backgrounds and overall characterization. if you're bothered \ squicked \ triggered by that, i kindly encourage you to reconsider and not follow me. no amount of rp fun is worth your mental health.  i try to tag everything accordingly and i fully expect the same courtesy for our followers' sakes. be aware that there may be mentions of death, gore, violence, consanguinamory \ endogamy (especially when it comes to the lannisters and kekkei genkai clans), rape ( kingdom, though it will only be mentioned on the character’s backstory ) and cannibalism ( hannibal and kingdom ) , as well as unhealthy relationships and dynamics alongside with powerplay, and otherwise bad behaviours.  for all that is sacred, please, do note that i, the mun, do not approve, support or condone any of these actions or behaviours !!  i simply am capable of separating fiction from reality. as long as everything is properly tagged, with mutual consent and there are no minors involved (muse and especially not muns), . i support the right of a consenting adult to explore these awful dark topics in a safe fictional environment with other like minded consenting adults, people shouldn’t have to share their traumas to strangers on the internet to explain why they write what they write, be considerate. if that notion bothers you perhaps you might not want to interact with me, for both of ours sakes. fair warning, most of my graphics and aesthetics might trigger those who have xylophobia/hylophobia (phobia of trees or wooded areas), and considering it is a main theme here i will not be tagging it, i'm sorry. but its too many. however, if you want me to create a special tag for you, there's no issue! it will be either "[your mun name] don't look!" or "[your url] don't look!", whichever you prefer. QUICK EDIT/ADDITION: i do not believe that aging up fictional characters is inherently a bad thing - from what i understand, the whole appeal of aging up a character is that while you like their personality but you do not want them to be kids (for whatever reason) but insteasd adults. if you are one of those who think that aging up a character is automatically something bad (without even knowing why it was done in the first place) don’t bother following me because i do think that opinion is quite silly.

『 THE INTERACTIONS』

OC, DUPLICATE, MULTIMUSE AND CANON DIVERGENT FRIENDLY

my tagging system is simple, i tag triggers as "tw; x" and . images that may be sensitive or triggering as "cw; x". you can further see how my tags work by taking a look at my tag dump post, just search ‘tag dump’ on my blog and you will find the most recent one i’m using.    i shitpost and talk oocly on the dash constantly but you can easily blacklist my tag if it bothers you.  here's something you should know about me:  when i'm doing drafts i usually don't feel like chatting much, so please do not spam me because i won't be able to reply, i love to talk with my moots but sometimes it overwhelms me.  on that note, please don't pester me for replies ic or ooc, i am slow and chances are that if you try to guilt trip me or just nag me about it i'll leave as the ones i'll get to in the later end on purpose, just out of spite. yes, i be like that.   please be patient - i’ll never pressure you and expect the same in return.  plotting wise: i prefer to just wing it with just a faint idea of where to take the thread but honestly i'm cool with anything. please be considerate when formatting your replies, i have a bad eyesight & if i can't read it, i won't bother with it.   my own formatting is simple and clean.   on a smaller note, please bear with me and my muses as my muses ramble a lot but you don't have to match the length, just give me something to work with. if we write together, the chances of me making edits/tagging you in stuff are really big, just lmk if you don’t like that though !

『 THE FLEET』

MOSTLY BI/PAN MUSES, MULTISHIP AND MULTIVERSE, SMUT FRIENDLY

i love shipping but i like my ships to be devices to move the plot/dynamics/muses forward, every once in a while though i partake in some much loved self indulgent shipping. just because i ship a certain pairing don't presume that my characters are approaching yours with second intentions, please.   most of the time i like to reblog those relationship memes, so if you’re interested in a ship the best way (other than  sending me a message ofc) to let me know is by sending ones. there will be some triggering ships here ( like the lannisters, both cersei x jaime and joanna x tywin are my otps, and potential inter clan ships, like with the hyugas - i mean how the hell you think they keep the byakugan in their family?? ) that may either be played with trusted friends or be mentioned/reblogged sometimes, all properly tagged so you can easily blocklist/avoid it.  most of my muses are either bi or pan, those who are not will be specified. don't be afraid to reach out to me for shipping right off the bat - i'd rather have you to be open and honest with me about the interactions you want than lying to me, just know that there will be needed some plotting and threading first to see if your muses match. as an adult, my blog is smut friendly, i partake in sexual sunday a lot because some of my muses are very lewd in nature, you can blacklist my tag if that bothers you as well.

『 THE FINAL NOTES』

GENERAL RP ETIQUETTE APPLIES, CREDITS, THANK YOU FOR READING MY RULES

lastly but not least, general rp etiquette applies on my blog: no godmodding, forced ships, etc. there’s only ONE thing that truly makes me go apeshit crazy, and it’s when people don’t read my rules. i ALWAYS find out and it’s not pretty; i block it like it’s hot, ♪ ♫ ♬ block it like it’s hot ♪ ♫ ♬.   i strongly assure you that i always read your rules before both following you and also before sending memes, just in case. on a much smaller note, i’m not so hot on single shipping and i really feel weirded out about people forcing me to pic who i’m going to interact with due to theirs DNI’s. while i get DNI’s when it comes to actual predators, when it’s something seemingly random chances are that i’ll softblock you because it weirds me out how volatile some can be when it comes to a hobby. i have some trigger heavy hcs ( for example, the one about jiraiya’s hypersexuality being rooted in trauma that he suffered at a young age ) that i share with only a few muns that are closer with me, so i’ll be mentioning them every once in a while but won’t share them, please don’t insist.  i don’t really like most of the main characters of the franchises i write for, and when it comes to certain characters  i reserve the right to decline an rp for my own comfort. for further info on what i use to make my graphics please check my “CREDITS.” tag.  most of my stuff is made by me, i’ve got a lowkey rph in case you wanna check it out it’s @brazucahelps, however if you want a custom content i can see if i get a free time to come up with something :D

 IF YOU READ THIS FAR, THANK YOU SO MUCH — JUST ONE LAST THING, COULD YOU PLS LIKE THIS SO I KNOW YOU’VE READ IT? <3 THANKS!

[webcomixwastaken]

I’ve followed Lindsay Ellis's videos on YouTube for 10+ years. Even back in the dark NC days I was always struck at how she deftly combined thoughtfulness with humour and cleverness. Even with the bits that didn't age well -- not because of who she was as a person but because 2010 was SUCH a different time, genuinely, I can recall "jokes" and "facts" that my friends and I would say that none of us would even consider now -- she definitely stood out amongst her colleagues as someone with great talent and perceptiveness.

So discovering that she's no longer going to update her channel makes me say: GOOD! FOR!! HER!!! She deserves to walk away from this black hole of awfulness! She doesn't need to be screamed at all the time anymore!! Good for her!! She is free!!

I watched the Raya Twitter meltdown happen in real time and it was the most ridiculous shit I've ever witnessed. So much bad faith reading, so much blood in the water for the sharks to chase after. Even my own Twitter moots (from writing and book twt because that’s where I hang out on that site) were furious about The Tweet, but as I went down my feed I realised that a ridiculous game of telephone was going on. They were upset about a very legitimate issue but it wasn’t... at ALL what she was talking about. I know it’s unhelpful to say “if you watch her videos...” to get people to understand that she was talking from a craft/structure perspective or that her tone is always very snarky and dry since that’s not what Twitter is interested in. Twitter is where nuance goes to die.

From the moment it was announced, I thought that Raya and the Last Dragon looked mediocre at best and yes, derivative. But that's not bad, necessarily? People are always comparing things, and that's even how a lot of marketing works! In pitching or querying agents, you're often asked, nay, expected to provide comparative titles to show that you understand your audience. So when she compared a well known western-helmed Asian-influenced fantasy TV show to a new big name western-helmed Asian-influenced fantasy film why... are we... so shocked and angry? Personally, I feel like any racism involved in The Tweet is symptomatic of the system, how the west perceives and judges eastern stories, not Lindsay’s character.

And honestly? Since I’m not diaspora I do not give much of a shit for representation the same way overseas kids do. Like Lindsay pointed out, we are not monolith so I don’t like being told that something is an ~Asian~ universal theme. We are the biggest continent in the world and even my tiny ass city of Hong Kong has an ENORMOUS gulf of opinions of what defines us?? So as an Asian in Asia, my opinion of “wow, Asian rep in western culture” is mostly indifference with a side helping of annoying. Because it’s often reductive and token and I don’t see myself in them at all. And in these big budget animated films... I’m usually not very excited with how we’re depicted either. Do you really have to draw our eyes like that? I remember looking in the mirror as a kid and thinking, “What the heck are white people on about? My eyes are big and round. Most of my friends don't have tiny eyes either.”

Also, DISNEY DON’T NEED MY MONEY! It’s such a laugh that they made this movie claiming to uplift SE Asian narratives and culture and it wasn't even available in many of those countries. However, I can't say anything else because I'm not SE Asian. But that’s it exactly, I don’t have a dog in this fight. So I didn’t say anything!!

Sometimes I really think that people need to realise that you don't need to put out every single opinion you have on the internet. In fact, I remember thinking “oh no, Lindsay, please, just stop tweeting” but it was a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation. If she tried to apologise, she was a whinging backpedalling phony. If she stayed silent, she is rotten to the core and doubling down on racism! If she explained herself, which she tried to do, it would just be more fuel to the bonfire of dogpiling and threats and tearing apart every shred of nuance that could possibly still exist on Twitter. And she KEPT on getting dogpiled and threatened and even under today's goddamn post announcing that there will be no more videos, she's STILL being pelted with petty, stupid attacks by the faceless keyboard warriors. Oh my god, stop and SHUT UP, you won.

So good for her that she's left, and good for her that she refuses to apologise because she doesn’t have to. It would not have been sincere, and she really didn’t do anything wrong. I really hope she continues to host Musicalsplaining with Kaveh because I dearly love the podcast, and maybe she's still got a contract with PBS Storied, but if she doesn't do either of those, it's absolutely in her rights to do so. She doesn't owe us anything. Perhaps she'll be able to devote her time to writing more books, or perhaps she'll just disappear from the internet forever and again... deserved! Whatever she wants! Good for her!!

Godspeed Lindsay Ellis, you are a genuine human being deserving of peace and I earnestly hope you get some after putting so much of yourself on the chopping block for nothing else but our entertainment. I'll always support you.

[levis-hazelnut]

This is a vent.

You can do what you want with this post but please do read the part from where your name starts in bold and pink.

I have decided it's okay for me to type my thoughts out here In tumblr. Safer than my journal at least lol

So I'm doing okay but I also feel like shit for the past few days lol. To the point where I cried myself to sleep. Ever felt like crying badly but the tears won't come out but you can't even act frustrated? Yeah that too.

I'll be honest. I changed schools so now I have about 3 supportive friends but we haven't interacted much.

My friends from my previous school are really very cool and supportive and it is because of them, I had a thought of exploring me and thinking about my sexuality and everything.

I have a lot of friendship problems. Im kinda losing touch with My friends from the previous school and i saw it coming almost 1 years ago. But I still talk to them bc I like them. I have been betrayed and neglected and taken for granted by loads of people who were my friends. We're still in touch but there is a disconnection.

I really considered them my friends. I trusted them. I was looking for a special bond with them. But it never happened. Half of them betrayed and verbally bullied me. Some of them strayed away. Some were Influenced by other bullies. Some took me for granted.

I'm awkward at voicing out my true feelings. I wanted them to know through my actions how much they meant to me, how I bragged about how nice they were, how I loved it when we went on little adventures and screamed and laughed. But they just had to go away.

My one and only lovely best friend moved away and now we live about 2000 kms apart but we still talk and she supports me (and simple for me lol) and she is kinda like one of the top reasons I'm sane rn. I'm very grateful to have her.She sometimes visits my blog through Google and reads my fics.

I've been having depressive episodes since last year. It's definitely better than last year bc back then, I used to cry in secret like- every single day. Including my birthday. I've actually kinda mastered the art of masking my feelings.

On top of that I have family problems. My dad is not really emotionally present. I hate to say this but my mom kinda victimizes herself. Evertime they have fights, I hear and notice this. It pisses me off but the points they make about themselves make sense. Eventually they make up and they sat down and made me under stand that nothing is gonna happen but it mentally affects me a lot.

Believe me when I say that I love my parents. But I'm growing distant. On top of that there is some toxic advice and they are homophobic oof.

I know there are millions of people with more worse conditions than mine and when I think about this, I get sad and start to invalidate my feelings but with the help of some motivational people, I understand that my problems are valid and I'm allowed to feel sad. At this point I'm like my own supporter. I'm proud of it.

Every time I see jean, I relate to him a lot. Putting a strong front for others but your terrified inside. (Also thighs mm)

So Hazel. Listen to me

When I found out of tumblr and fanfics, I was overjoyed. I spend weeks reading comfort fics by many different authors including yours and it made me feel safe.

I finally decided to make an account and follow people. I mostly interacted with you. There are so many blogs and moots that I follow now, and now I'm not shy or scared to interact with them.

You know why? Because of you.

It is from your blog I first felt like I could feel safe. I never felt weird about going in your inbox more than once. Everytime you responded I felt butterflies. After that when you followed me back, I actually almost cried. Every single time I saw you in my dash, inbox or responding to me, or just interacting with your fellow moots, I felt happy.

And after that I met amber, izzy, and so many cool moots. If we ever met In real love I wouldn't hesitate to give you a big hug and thank you.

Hazel baby when I say I love you, I fucking mean it.

I love you. I love you so much

I love all of my moots, and people who I interact with every day. I found so many supportive people and people from the lgbtq and people who share the same thoughts here.

Thank you for being you.

I hope you never forget how much I admire you. I'm almost tearing up as I write this. All of you guys give me so much motivation to move forward in my life.

himani please the way you had me crying because of this i love you so so so much i cant stress it enough

(imma put a read more cos this got kinda long lol)

im so happy that you found a safe space and you feel comfortable enough to tell me all of this too. you have me on discord as well and i'd always be happy to listen to you if you need to talk or just to simply simp over 2d people lmao

and im so sorry that you've been feeling terrible, it honestly breaks my heart and i wish there was something i could do. i'd hold you and be there to fight everyone for you if i could. if those friends dont keep in touch with you, they'll be missing out and they'd be losing such a precious and amazing person. but once you lose something you always gain something - thats something i've realised so you will find the right people that will stick by you for a very long time ❤❤ i'm so glad you have your best friend there to support you and sticking by you because even when you feel like everything's just going to shit i know they'd be there for you and im happy about that

your feelings are completely valid and im glad you realised that. just know that im always going to be here too to support you and to just be there for you whenever you need it

bye the way you have my heart himani, it makes me so happy that you feel safe here and that you never felt weird about interacting with me. please you give me butterflies all the time, how could i not follow a beautiful person like you. honestly the same goes to you - i love seeing you on my dash and i love seeing you have a great time and interacting with people especially with my moots it makes me so happy i cant describe it 😭

if we ever meet im not letting you leave my side, you're gonna permanently be in my arms

i love you so much more i wish there was a way i could show just how much... im glad you found people you love and those that support you and that give you motivation. and im always going to be here to support you and for anything else you need

thank you for being comfortable enough to talk to me and to share this. you're an amazing person never doubt that 🥺🥰💖

[corpse--diem]

Making Adult Friends | Chloe & Erin

TIMING: Early-mid January at Erin’s previous apartment PARTIES: @chloeinbetween​ & @corpse–diem SUMMARY: Chloe and Erin meet up to watch Sharknado. It’s a very normal and not awkward time at all.  CONTENT WARNINGS: none

It was fine. It was cool. It was definitely not Chloe staring at her reflection in a storefront, trembling in nerves. The last time she’d gone over to someone’s house who she barely knew, well…. That hadn’t ended well. This time, Chloe was prepared, a heavy iron pendant in her hand. They were meeting outside to chat a little before they went into the nearby apartment block that Erin had said were hers. Leaning on a nearby post, she breathed hot

into her winter gloves, her fingers growing cold in the wind. “Oh, um, hey, are you Erin?” Chloe asked when she noticed a woman also looking around for someone. “I’m Chloe.”

Erin hadn’t known what had possessed her to reach out and see if this stranger online wanted to just… hang out. Maybe it was the need to socialize, or to talk to someone, anyone, about absolutely anything but the supernatural for five goddamn minutes. It was like the moment she’d been dropped into this world nearly a year ago, she hadn’t been able to get above the surface for even a breath. When Chloe agreed to watch some stupid movie with her, she wondered if the other woman simply wanted the same thing--some company and some laughs. She eyed the blonde who had approached, standing there like she’d been waiting for a bus outside of the apartment building. At first glance she looked as normal as she’d sounded. As normal as anyone who wanted to watch a movie called Sharknado with her. “Yep, that’s me,” Erin chirped, perking up with a bright smile. “Nice to meet you, Chloe.” She pulled a glove hand out of her pocket where it’d been hiding from the bite of the winter air and offered it to the other woman. “Not to rush things but what do you say we get out of this cold and at least get to the apartment lobby? My bones can’t take the cold quite like they used to.”

Chloe smiled, but it was watered down by the nervous wideness of her eyes. Erin looked, as much as possible anyway, like a normal human being. Chloe wasn't sure what she was looking for but she was looking all the same. When Erin breezed there was a cloud of condensation. She wore thick clothes to match the winter air. She wasn't standing strangely, nor was there was anything unusual about her way of speaking like Lydia had sometimes had. Nothing about Erin set off alarm bells. Chloe just wasn't convinced that meant anything. There was some part of her that knew that looking was as pointless as trying to avoid everyone. "That would be great," Chloe said, looking down at Erin's hand ever, taking it in a shake. She was about to be rude, she knew, but it was the only thing that made the idea of going inside Erin's house bearable. "Just one thing," Chloe said, holding out the iron round pendant in her hand. "This is iron, can you touch this for me please? It sounds so silly, I know, I feel absurd asking, but it's really important to me."

This is why you didn’t invite strangers to your house, Erin, she thought to herself as Chloe held out the iron pendant in front of her. There was a sincerity in her voice and eyes that was hard to dismiss but it didn’t instill much confidence in Erin. “You want me to… touch it?” She repeated the question, shifting where she stood, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like maybe this was some weird joke she wasn’t privy to. Her gloved hand reached out, an unsure smile wavering on her lips. “This isn’t one of those buzzer things that’ll give me a shock if I touch it right?” She’d dealt with weirder things than someone with bad jokes. Her hand hovered above it, hesitant, before tapping the top of it quickly--once, twice, flinching like it would do something. “Is that good enough?”

Chloe might have lost every social skill she’d ever had these last few years, but even she felt the immediate concern and discomfort from Erin. “No, no! It’s not a prank.” Her cheeks went a little red, and Chloe hoped she could just blame that on the cold. In hindsight, she should have asked Erin to take off her glove, and while she was sure Lydia wouldn’t have been so casual about touching iron ever, the leather really made the whole test moot. Chloe wasn’t sure she was brave enough to ask her to do it again without the glove. “Um yep! It’s just a safety thing, but it’s all good. I know it’s weird.” Maybe Erin would even tell her not to come in now.

A safety thing? Not surprisingly, Chloe’s affirmation did little to soften the eyebrow raised in her direction. “That’s--yeah. Of course. You’re coming to a stranger’s home. You want to be safe. I get it.” Erin doubled back, pointing back to the pendant in her hand. “I don’t know how that screams safety but if it makes you feel better… who am I to judge, I guess? I feel like I should probably have more precautions for you, honestly.” But there was real distress there Erin couldn’t ignore and it softened some of the harsher criticisms she would usually sling at someone giving such uncertain vibes. She’d never admit it but she did feel a little safer knowing there was a hunter right next door if shit ever hit the fan. “A little weird. But that’s okay. Maybe you can explain it when we go inside? Unless you’ve got any other questions for me or things you need me to touch.” She offered a smile, wrapping her arms back around herself, the cold collecting in wisps in front of her lips.

“Trust me, it makes all the difference in the world.” Chloe looked up at the building that Erin was standing by for the first time properly, and breathe a small sigh of relief. “If it makes you feel better, I actually know one of your neighbours, funnily enough.” Chloe had been about to expand on that when she realised that discussing how she'd been rescued from her prison by Kaden Langley was not the kind of thing that you used to open a casual conversation. Today was about fun and friendship possibly hopefully, not about digging into something that she didn't want to think about right now this second. “Oh!” Chloe exclaimed, laughing a little too high and a little too nervously, “No, no! Nothing else to touch, not that I can think of. Unless… there’s anything you want to ask me or to have me touch?”

A lingering hesitation followed Chloe’s confession about knowing one of her neighbors, casting a long glance her way. Please don’t be Kaden, please don’t be Kaden, was all Erin could think. “I think I’m good on the touching thing. People usually take me to dinner before I get asked that question, just for future reference,” she teased, trying to edge out some of the growing awkwardness, still very aware that they hadn’t even stepped foot into the building yet. She started walking back towards the building, stuffing her hands back into her jacket pocket. “So… wait, you know one of my neighbors?” She tried to add in casually despite the growing dread building in her stomach. She opened the door for Chloe and led her down the damn striped hallway the man in question was woefully responsible for. “Wouldn’t happen to be some french guy? Kinda rude? Name rhymes with maiden?”

Chloe did a double take, before flushing with real embarrassment. She didn’t know what to say to that, unable to shake the anxious discomfort that Erin hadn’t touched the iron with her bare hands. It was probably fine. What was the probability of any random person being fae? They were so secret for a reason.

“Right,” she tried to chuckle awkwardly. “What can I say, I’m a very forward person.” It sounded as awkward out loud as it had in her head. Chloe ran her hand against the wall, just in case she needed the balance help as the warm air of the hall wrapped around herm, but quickly withdrew her hand as the wall striped. It wasn’t a change in wallpaper, nor, when Chloe squinted, did it look like paint, it was just… printed on there, as if it was always meant to be there.

“Did you have a mime neighbor?” Chloe asked, before realising Erin had also asked her a question, she raised her eyebrow with a smile. “He, uh, hasn’t been rude to me, but yeah, I know Kaden Langley.”

There was a noticeable uncertainty in Chloe that seemed like it’d been there for sometime, and likely there before agreeing to watch a stupid movie with a stranger online. It wasn’t Erin’s place to push and instead smiled back at her, trying to assure her this was fine despite whatever unease she currently felt. “Obviously,” she laughed softly, digging her keys out. Nearly dropped them at the door when the word mime actually came out of Chloe’s mouth. She chuckled nervously, raising a brow. “You know, I’m not entirely sure about that. But I think I do,” she smirked to herself before leading Chloe into the apartment. Even if it was still generally bare, it was warm. “I’m glad he wasn’t then. He’s right next door, actually. He’s…” Erin sighed, a hint of reluctance in her voice, trying to save face in front of someone who could possibly be a friend or friendly acquaintance of his. “He’s not the worst neighbor. Even if he bakes constantly and doesn’t share. Ever.” She smiled over at her, shrugging off her coat and hanging it on a hook beside the door. Narrowed her eyes, suddenly straightening. “Oh shoot--you don’t have any allergies to animals or anything, do you?” As if on cue, the small, fluffy cat hopped up on the table nearest to Chloe, greeting the other woman with a friendly chirping meow.

“Doesn’t he?” Chloe repeated with a smile, sure that wasn’t the only reason for the rivalry between the two. Not that it was her business, but she couldn’t even imagine Kaden being a jerk. A little snippy, maybe, a little quick to temper, but that was the worst of what she could imagine. “It’s really cruel, to make someone smell how good your baking is without sharing it.” All the same, as she looked around Erin’s apartment, she couldn’t help but compare it to Kaden’s next door. Chloe jumped, bumping into the back of the doorframe and grabbing it wildly before regaining her balance. Just a cat. Just a cat! Chloe didn’t even realise how she’d clutched the chest of her jumper until she breathed out shakily. “No!” She replied, “Not allergic at all. Just- just a bit easy to startle. Sorry. Um, are, are they friendly? Do they like to be pet?” Chloe asked, her voice creaking.

“Could certainly be worse,” Erin replied, trying to brush off the edge in her voice she might have let slip through about her neighbor. All things considered, it truly could have been worse. Wasn’t great knowing you shared a wall with someone who would have preferred to see you behind bars. Easy enough to forget as she watched Chloe nearly jump out of her skin when Betty popped out to say hello. “I’ll remember that,” she nodded, another assuring, if not awkwardly unsure smile crossing her lips. Erin only knew a few things about Chloe so far, and two of those were: easy to startle and made people touch a pendant when they met. Strong start. “Oh, no, pet away. She’s the sweetest thing you’ll ever meet, I promise,” she added, crossing over to pet the top of her head. “Go ahead and make yourself comfortable and help yourself to anything out there.” There were already a few plates of snacks on plates waiting on the coffee table in front of the television. Maybe a slight overcompensation for two people but it was hard to remember a time she had someone over for a completel supernatural free evening, even if it involved shark infested natural disasters. “Can I get you coffee or tea or something to drink?”

“Don’t say that,” Chloe replied tightly, swallowing, her skin growing pale as she looked around for extra trouble. Or maybe Erin was the extra trouble. Or maybe she needed to chill, but the feeling that Erin was about to get herself trapped was… unshakeable. “I mean, I’m sure she’s amazing, but you know, you never know with absolutes, you don’t want to say anything that’s…. You know, you never know.” Chloe offered her hand towards the cat to sniff, then gently pet her head, only a tiny bit of tension melting from the shoulders as she was greeted with the cat pressing into her hand. Chloe swallowed, suppressing the moment’s panic at being asked to make a choice. “Coffee would be great,” She said after a moment. “Just black is good. I appreciate it.” Her skin crawled from how painfully awkward this already was. “So, funeral director, right? That’s a really interesting job, especially in a town like this.” She couldn’t shake the memory of how Erin had introduced herself, like she was supposed to just know who the funeral director was, because there were so many deaths.

Erin eyed Chloe warily as she fumbled through the explanation of an apparently very real fear that didn’t quite match up with its source. Not to Erin, anyway, and not right away. The more she thought about it though, a creeping, nearly long-forgotten dread started to climb its way back up insides. “Right,” she drawled slowly, as if trying to still understand but not wanting to be rude by sitting in the brief silence that followed it. She started the coffee anyway, thankful to have something to at least busy her hands with. “That’s pretty fair actually.  Do you have a problem with promises as a whole, then? Or just absolutes?” She asked, maybe not so subtly alluding to what Chloe’s words had instantly brought to mind. A flash of Regan, a glass of water and Dr. Rickers’ beard hair flashed behind her eyes. If Chloe had any experience with those kinds of promises, her fear made a mountain of sense. “You mean a town like this with a death rate like this?” She tacked on, glancing over as she poured the coffee, a knowing smirk on her lips. “It keeps me busy, that’s for sure.” It did, anyway, and hopefully would continue to after things were sorted. She didn’t want to think about that right now though. “What did you say you did?” She asked, placing the cup of coffee in front Chloe before taking up a spot on the couch.

If Chloe could be any redder, she should just start a career as a traffic light. Her skin was flushed beetroot red as Erin drawled her skepticism. Which was better than what came next, as the blood drained from her face as quickly as it had appeared. Was it a trap? Erin had touched the iron with her gloves, after all, and Chloe was really regretting not insisting now. Then again, she wasn’t sure anyone who was a fae or hung out with fae in any significant way would have used the phrase I promise that quickly. “Promises are the most intense absolutes, more than most people realise, I think.” She tried to cover for herself, managing to answer the question even less subtly than Erin had asked it.

Safe to say, a conversation about jobs was much easier.  “Well, uh,  yes, considering the deathrate and all.” Chloe said quietly, matching Erin’s smile much more nervously. “Um, not much at the moment, if I’m honest? Kind of… looking for a job at the moment. I haven’t really been….. Employed for a few years now, but I used to teach music at an elementary school.” Because talking about the past was something Chloe could definitely, certainly do without coming across weird. It wasn’t even that the Lydia stuff was secret, or that she felt like it was a good idea to keep it secret, but in the closest thing she’d had to normalcy in… years, she was kind of reticent to ruin that.

Chloe might have answered her question but it didn’t leave Erin with any more answers or assurances than before she’d asked it. There was no missing the literal uncomfortable physical reaction Chloe had to her words. Her curiosity skyrocketed. “Oh, I agree,” she nodded whole-heartedly, wondering how long she could toe this line without asking what she actually wanted to know. The woman had already asked her to touch a pendant before she’d come into her home and they were about to watch a movie about a fictional shark-filled natural disaster. What did she really have to lose? “You make a promise and then suddenly you’re bound to it.” She pointedly paused, lifting the cup of coffee to her lips as she peered over at Chloe over the top of it. “Been there before and it’s not a good feeling. I don’t make promises I can’t keep anymore. Or at all, if I can help it.”

There was more ease in this part of the conversation, but not by much. If Erin ever thought she was wound tightly, she had absolutely nothing on the spring coil energy her new acquaintance had. “A music teacher? Really?” A softer, more genuine smile crossed Erin’s lips. “And there’s nothing at the schools right now? That’s surprising.” That high death rate touched every aspect of this town. No one was excluded. Her eyes narrowed gently in her direction. “Assuming teaching is something you want to get back to. Parents are always looking for private music instructors for their kids too. I was saddled with one until I was sixteen when mine decided I was learning how to play the organ.”

“Then you’re smart,” Chloe said softly, and itched to ask more, but they’d never watch the movie at all if she kept asking and… she wanted the quiet. She wanted to not spend every situation talking about fae, or being trapped, or anything. But her body did loosen up, relaxing, just to know that Erin knew something.

“Well, I don’t really know that I want to go back to music. Too much baggage, and my voice is kind of… wrecked.” Like she’d been swallowing gravel on a weekly basis. “I’m due a career change anyway, right? Something quiet and easy.” That didn’t even involve thinking about music. “Damn. The organ is an impressive instrument to learn, though, especially as a kid. Guessing it comes in handy at work too.”

Chloe’s conciseness didn’t have an edge to it but there was enough there for Erin to take the hint. There was more there, and as desperately as she wanted to dig further, chasing off the person she was trying to befriend with her nosiness wasn’t the goal for today. “Just experienced,” she tacked on with a raised brow, reaching for some of the snacks she’d prepared and left it at that.

Too much baggage? Wasn’t what she was expecting there either but she nodded as if she understood anyway. That was Chloe’s prerogative, after all. “Oh, absolutely. They loved being able to throw me out there in front of a grieving family and make the whole room sob with some Ave Maria or Amazing Grace.” She smirked, reaching for the remote, sorting through the available movies until the movie poster with the flying sharks filled the screen. “Something quiet and easy sounds fair though. Do you have your eyes on anything in particular?” She tilted her head at Chloe, a teasing smile on her lips. “You know, it’s very quiet in a funeral home. I’ll be opening up again soon, and positions are open, so…”

Experienced. Erin knew. Erin knew something about Fae, but the tone told her it wasn’t that she was fae. For the first time all night, Chloe relaxed more comfortably in her seat. She didn’t have to explain everything or talk about everything. They could just both… know, and not address it, not tonight. “Oh, I bet. Those melodies are heart stoppers.”

“The job offerings in this town are pretty… eclectic. I applied for a reception job at a ghost tour operator, but apparently competition for that kind of job is fierce,” Chloe said with an amused smile, not realising that not believing in ghosts had been the only reason she hadn’t gotten it. She smiled back at Erin, not quite sure how sincere the offer was. “Maybe you’ll see my application at some point,” Chloe said quietly, and although she expected to cringe away from the thought of working in such a macabre field, she found herself oddly… at ease with the idea. She’d seen more than enough terrible death to be afraid of the mundane kind.

Erin smiled sincerely in Chloe’s direction. Whatever she’d said seemed to add an air of calmness to the room, for the first time since she’d met her outside and was asked to touch an iron pendant. She couldn’t say she wasn’t thankful for it. “Well, I’d be happy to read over it, if that’s the case.” She wasn’t sure how applicable Chloe’s skills as a music teacher were going to translate to the funeral home but she supposed if she could wrangle a group of kids with loud instruments, she could handle some phone calls, surely. They’d cross that bridge when or if they got there.

“Oh!” She interjected, finishing a quick sip of her coffee and set it down on the table. “The movie.” Tucking her legs under her, she let a goofier smile pull at her lips and clicked the remote until the film was up and ready to play. “Are you ready to experience the thrill of a lifetime? Or do you need more time to prepare?”

“I don’t think anyone’s ever truly ready for Sharknado,” Chloe replied with a grin, settling into the couch. “How can anyone prepare for that level of artistry?” She turned her eyes to the screen as the opening sequence began, the corners of her lips turned up. Her body thrummed with a quiet kind of contentment. It was easy to be scared, but it was just as easy to be grateful. There was, on this couch with a new acquaintance and a delightfully terrible movie playing, so much to still be grateful for.

[rosy-wooyoung]

thank you, really.

this is my equivalent of “reblog if you’ve made a friend on tumblr”, because I’ve made a lot of them actually!

since the end of the year is approaching, i wanted to express my gratitude to my lovely mutuals and my followers. I know, 2020 has been hard for all of us, I had some thoughts at some point that I wouldn’t be able to survive this hell of a year. but here i am, sad, exhausted and still healing, but at least i’m here. i’m alive. i’m as healthy as my body allows me to be. 

it’s hard for all of us, the virus forcing us to stay at home, not caring if our household is toxic. alongside my health issues, i also have my entire family who seems to be against me, so i’m fighting on my own against the world. against them, my acquaintances, my relatives, and other people who think it’s funny to point out one’s mental / physical issues. fortunately, thanks to tumblr, i’ve found a safe place to go to and be myself. thanks to tumblr, i managed to find for a few months people that appreciate me, despite the hateful anons. 

those people, i wanna thank them. i’ve mentioned them already in my account anniversary, but i think they deserve a little bit more appreciation than just a mention. you guys, no matter how exaggerating you think i might sound, you kept me sane and on track. i’ll try my hardest to be the one to reach out first and communicate more, i really want to keep on talking with all of you. i wish everyone reading this to be happy and healthy, as well as a better year ❤

i promise to come back here, but for now, i have to many serious things going on in my personal life that I don’t feel like existing. but hopefully it’s temporary, maybe see you soon!

kind words are below the cut 💕🦋

@atbzkingdom : dee, oh my dee. i don’t know for how long we’ve been talking, but thank god i found you. i still remember when you commented on my pirate captain! hongjoong story, i was so happy and giggly, and i was even happier when we started talking. you listened to me, allowed me to vent, and you don’t know how relieved i felt whenever i talked with you. you’re so caring and understanding, i felt like i could tell you anything and you wouldn’t judge me. thank you for that, i love you very much!

@closer-stars stars! i can’t remember how we started talking, but i’m glad we did! again, your support and reassurance made me feel valid, and i felt like i received words from the older sister i’ll never have. i also absolutely adore the posts and the links you send me, they always manage to put a smile on my face. i love when you rant about your games and different characters, you sound so passionate, i love it. you write beautifully, i love reading what you do, it deserves way more recognition than you currently do. i love you stars!

@ateez-little-star jas. i don’t even have words to correctly express how i truly feel. you’re always here to defend me, support me, reblog and interact with everything i post on here. you’re so mature and precious, i was actually surprised when you told me you were younger than me. nothing changed regarding our friendship, i just love you even more. i started having this feeling of protecting you, as an older sister would do. what you do is beautiful for the writing community, you don’t realise how your actions have such an impact on creators. please ignore the haters, and don’t hesitate to reach out to me if they annoy you again, okay? love you bub. i promise to come back here happier and healthier.

@chrryhwa you little bub, i love you. we can talk about everything and nothing, you’ll always find a way to make me smile and somehow laugh, like you have some kind of power on me. i always smile when i see you in my dms or comments, you are extremely easy to talk to and talking to you feels nothing but right! please never change and let’s keep on chatting!

@trashlord-007 love! i can’t remember when we started talking (looks like my surgeries made be forget a lot of things) BUT despite our inconsistent interaction, i feel like we’re really close. we never had a proper conversation in dms or whatever, - until now, please don’t worry about me! - only by asks or reblogs, but you’re one of my moots that i feel the closest to. i love when you tag me in different games, it’s true that i might not answer them right away, but tbh i tend to forget about it and come back to it when you tag me in another one lol. thank you for acting like an older sister, you’re an amazing human being! i love you!

@barsformars rin!! i kind of feel bad for not talking with you more often, you’re really easy to talk to and i love when we message each other! you have the words to calm me down and make me think in a positive way, i can only thank you for that. you’re so caring and sweet, i wish my friends irl were more like you! as i’ve said many times before, your works are like Stars’, they need way more recognition because they’re hecking good!! way better than mine actually!! thank you for being an amazing moot and i promise to talk to you more in the future!

@tinkerbellwoo baby!! thank you, for everything. you were here when i really needed it, especially when my grandfather died. you were a good shoulder for me to cry onto and you really pushed me back up on my feet when i wasn’t doing great. then i started getting a bit better, but you helped me stay on track when i was about to relapse. you’re really caring and understanding, it felt like a bubble of oxygen to tell you about my issues. so thank you so so much, and i hope we’ll get to talk about happier events in 2021!

@hauuks ollie! i know we are moots but we don’t really interact, and that’s completely okay! i just wanted to say that i love you and your personality, as well as your cats!! they make me really happy and warm when i see them, i would have adopted a cat like creme or toma if my brother and dad weren’t allergic... when i see them on my dash, my day is automatically better, so thank you for sharing them with us!! i also love what you reblog, i’ve found tons of great content thanks to you! so thank you and i love you!!

@jeongyunhoed hi love! I know we didn’t really interact a lot but I really wanted to say thank you for mentioning me in your recommendation, it warms my heart all the time when i see you in my notifications! I wish you a beautiful, healthy year! 

[firewoodfigs]

(long post, but I’m gonna try and make journalling a thing in 2021 😆)

The first day of the new year was nice. :) I woke up to the sounds of rain crashing against my windowsills - a strangely chilly morning in this tropical country where it’s summer all year round. For a moment it felt like I was back in Canada again, all cloudy grey skies and whimsical rain - the perfect weather for introspection. 

I started my day with a pot of hot green tea, then settled down by my reading lamp to finish a book that I’ve been putting off for far too long - Steinbeck’s East of Eden. I only had about forty pages left, but somehow couldn’t bring myself to finish it. I hate when books end because it feels like that little world I’ve created and compartmentalised in my head has likewise ceased, but the good thing about books is that you can always re-read them and immerse yourself in the same fantasy. (Maybe even a different one, if the same words lend themselves to a different interpretation!) But it truly was an absolute masterpiece: such a stunning, intricate exploration of humanity that tugged at my heartstrings and led me into still waters of reflection. I know that I will definitely carry this tale in my heart for a long, long time to come. 

Afterwards, I had some instant ramen while watching The Queen’s Gambit. I’m not a big fan of watching shows usually because I often feel like they move too slowly or tend to miss details from the book, but this one is pretty exceptional. Like, the acting and the artistic direction are incredible - the constant juxtaposition between Beth’s traumatic past and her glorified present, and the exploration of the fallibility of genius were executed so brilliantly. Another thing that really stood out to me were the scenes where she’d hole herself in the toilet and rebuke herself aloud for weaknesses in her play and/or being weak, in general. I cannot begin to explain how many times I’ve done that to myself in law school for even the most trivial of infractions, the most minor of errors - Lord knows I’m my harshest critic. 

I promised to try, however, to be a little bit kinder to myself in 2021. My perfectionism tends to be a bar to goodness and growth because sometimes I get so afraid that my subconscious keeps demanding that my first draft has to be perfect. But it really doesn’t. That’s what editing is for. And writing, like any other talents and passions, requires nurturing and constant practice. I saw a quote yesterday about how we cannot just sit around and magically expect to be Faulkners overnight, and that is so true. I definitely need to find a sweet spot where I’m not berating myself to the point of giving up, but still demand growth so that I can keep bettering myself. 

In the evening I headed out to a friend’s for tacos, which were an absolute delight in itself. And then my bf and I got to walk his dog, who I am convinced is the most precious thing in the entire universe - maybe even more so than my bf himself (I kid... or maybe not) - and who is just such a gentle-natured darling. It began to drizzle, so she led us home and we spent the rest of the night playing Sherlock and Among Us with the rest. :) It was a very peaceful evening. For a moment I’d forgotten all about the fact that I start work next Monday and was simply content to bask in the Christmas lights, the heavy downpour and the anomalous chill that came along with it. Just... living in the present, enjoying the moment. 

Now that’s definitely something else on my to-do list for 2020 as well. So often the beauty of the present tends to be marred by my worries and anxieties of the future, but I always remind myself of this quote from Scripture: “Which one of you, by worrying, can add another day to his life?” And when I look back at my life and all the times I’ve worried and fretted and cried, feeling like there was no way for us to extricate ourselves from this rut, this perennial cycle of debt and other things that have plagued me from birth, I am also reminded of God’s grace and providence that has brought me through so, so much. It would’ve been impossible to have done all of this by myself; I frankly might not have had the will to continue living if not for those things. 

Talking about my lived experiences also ties in to the last part of my day - where I thought about how exclusive and inaccessible the poetry scene here feels. You would think otherwise, in a country of no more than 5-6 million folks, but no. I was ranting about this a little to my boyfriend: how it feels like a lot of the spaces within are reserved for the elites of society with silver spoons in their mouths and golden plates on their tables offering them anything they wanted while I was struggling to put food on the table at fourteen. Sometimes I also lament the fact that I didn’t have my parents to tell me bedtime stories, to encourage me to read and cultivate my vocabulary. Perhaps it’s jealousy, or inferiority, or a mix of both. 

But my boyfriend, ever wise and supportive, offered me a different perspective. He made a fair point about how I still fell in love with books and writing regardless, and how literature is oftentimes only a harbour that the privileged visit because the marginalised, the poor are too busy working for basic necessities to even think about such things. To the ordinary blue-collar layperson, poetry is just frankly a frivolous sentiment that won’t turn itself into gold. I agree with this wholeheartedly. It’s one of the reasons why I always felt like I didn’t have time to write, and one of the reasons why my first job was at a library (so I could read as much as I wanted! For free!). Then he said, “But see, no one wants to read about the rich waxing poetic about how lovely and grand their sunny little island is. But people will want to read about your perspective - your poems of the brokenhearted clinging on desperately to their inner child, your poems about the poor working to make ends’ meet, your poems about your tangible struggles - all of those will resonate with the masses, for sure.” And I was like, well, that’s fair. But I certainly don’t express myself as eloquently as these people do. Next to them I’m like an uncultured swine who can’t even tell the difference between all the different forks splayed on the table. 

His response was that people need to understand these things before appreciating them, and sometimes simplicity works best - a lesson that’s been drilled into us from the very inception of law school. And I was like, okay, fair, but deep down my heart was exploding with the sheer warmth of having someone so incredibly supportive of everything I do, even if it’s worthless in society’s eyes. I remember one night when I was telling him about how, as a twelve-year-old, I had a dream to one day study Literature at Yale. I would hole myself up in the library after school, feverishly flipping through books to expand my imaginations and horizons, my mental dictionary of words, dreaming about the day where I could escape all of this and dwell in nothing but imaginative worlds one day. Where reality failed me, I knew that I could always count on my imagination to transport me to somewhere safe and special, filled with joy and sorrow and tragedy and hope. 

I ended up studying law. Not a bad thing, because as stressful as it was I really did enjoy the things I’ve learnt - international and constitutional law, especially - and it has certainly given me new, mature perspectives on so many things; taught me to argue with reason and objectivity instead of just emotion and passion and has led me to meet so many wonderful (also trashy, but I’m out of this hellhole) people. I just don’t like the fact that 80-hour work weeks are the norm and that there’s always so much to... read. If you gave me a piece of fiction I could happily indulge in it for hours, but sometimes judgments can be so ridiculously mundane to read, especially if they’re just itemising every single case on illegality from the 19th century. Lord knows I need at least two cups of coffee for that. Black, to be specific. 

Anyway, I digress (as I always do lmao). My bf ended up researching all night until he stumbled across this Literature programme at Harvard - which frankly sounds amazing, but also unattainable. Which was what I said. And he was like, “Do I think it’s impossible? No. I think you have a very compelling life story, and you’re full of amazing stories within you to tell. And if you want to do it, I will support you wholeheartedly.” 

Again, as is usually the case, I had nothing left to offer apart from muted sobs under my blanket. It still sounds absurd to me - unthinkable, even - but I am just so, so grateful to have someone like him support me through everything. Literally everything. This is the man who has spent hours tutoring me in the subjects that I was hopeless in in first year, because I was too busy tutoring random folks in economics and geography and catching up on sleep (in class, no less), who has patiently helped me prepare for every single mooting competition and watched every single one of them, who has seen me cry and admonish myself for being a failure (only to spend hours trying to convince me otherwise), who has celebrated every single one of my victories and losses - you deserve a treat, anyway! Let’s go eat something nice and put it behind us, for now! This is the same man who has so much passion for what he does, who is so darn good at it without even realising that he is (I wept when he won a mooting competition this year because I was so proud of and happy for him), and who inspires confidence and compassion in me every day. 

I am grateful to share all our triumphs and tribulations together, and I look forward to starting a new chapter in life with you. :)