#it also feels kinda notable that we dont hear of anyone but elena really going to her parents graves.

[scraph]

hc + 👪 for a family-themed headcanon

themed headcanons.

elena loves her family. she loves margaret. it's an undeniable fact about her. but, there is also so much distance between her and them. we see it time and time again in the books; she loves them, but they can't see her vulnerable. elena would rather hide from them then let them see her cry. part of it, as most things do, comes back to her parents and the accident.

she tries to bury it, but i really do think she resents judith and robert, and even margaret in a way. from book one, we see her thoughts often coming back to her parents, but no one else really mentions them. she talks about her father showing her parts of the original house and how margaret is too young to remember them. one of the first ways she introduces robert, even inside her mind, is that he and judith are more present as parents to margaret than their parents ever will be. and we sort of see how that resentment creates division within the family, because when judith does try to take an authority role with her *cough* engagement reveal *cough* elena lashes out and there's this undercurrent message of "they would understand" to their arguments.

which isn't a fault on judith. we know judith was living far away and had very little involvement before the accident, she was forced to step in for a one year old and a traumatised teenager. and because of that she doesn't understand elena either, because she's only known who elena was after the accident. which is a whole other topic about how there is no one in elena's life, not bonnie and meredith, not stefan, that truly knows every part of her because she's always keeping secrets from everyone for what she perceives as their own good but that's neither here nor there right now -

so. yes. elena loves her family so much. but she lost the ability to connect on any deep level with them because they cant understand her and she can't forgive them, no matter how irrational it is, for not remembering or thinking of her parents.