#it also doesn't help that my memory is bad and also i am NOTORIOUS for overlooking details when playing games esp

[marinsawakening]

I have now played almost seven Zelda games to full and I still feel like people are talking in esoteric riddles when they're talking about LOZ canon. I'm starting to feel like in addition to playing the games you need to graduate from Nerd University with a specialization in LOZ Lore before anything anyone says might start making sense. "Oh yeah Link reincarnates over and over again, that's canon it's called the Hero's Spirit —" "Actually Link reincarnating is completely fanon and the Hero's Spirit it something else entirely —" "Actually the Hero's Spirit itself is fanon —" what are you guys even fucking TALKING about???

[feeblescholarmyass]

I'll Tell You a Story Until You Fall Asleep

in which you ask them to read you a bedtime story.

word count: 2.2 k

pairings: caretaker!(Kaeya, Xiao, Zhongli, Cyno, Wanderer, Alhaitham) x child! Reader (separate)

tags: sick reader (Kaeya, Wanderer), comfort, caretaker/child dynamic, fluff, mentions of younger siblings (Cyno), Wanderer has trauma, Wanderer doesn't understand how people work, Alhaitham is bad with kids, gender neutral reader (you/your pronouns), second person pov

warnings: none

a/n: sorry for how short wanderer's is, I lost motivation really bad and gave up. also ignore the fact that this was completely unprompted, it's an old wip I finally got inspiration to finish

dividers by cafekitsune

KAEYA was notoriously unreliable when it came to things he didn't take interest in. Luckily for your primary caretaker, he took plenty of interest in you. When you had come down with a fever, they knew that they would need help convincing you to rest. No matter how big you were getting, you hadn't lost your large youthful reserves of energy. Only Barbatos himself could get you to settle down without a fuss.

Though he was no god, Kaeya was the only one who managed to come close. For some odd reason, he was the one you chose to admire. Hearing his voice could either rile you up or calm you down. His cold hands on your shoulder, either encouraging you or warning you, were the only communication you needed to make a decision.

So when he heard you were sick and asking for him, he happily dropped whatever he was doing to come visit. "Hey, kid. I heard you have a fever. How're you feeling?" He rapped his knuckles against the door to announce his presence.

You lifted your head from under your layers of blankets trapping you against your bed. "Kaeya..?" You sniffled, blinking tired eyes at him. "I thought you were busy with work."

You sounded so pitifully sick that it made his heart ache. "What? Me? Working? What put that in your head?" He scoffed, tossing his ponytail over his shoulder and smiling at you. "Don't tell the Acting Grandmaster I said that."

You giggled weakly, curling up under your comforter. He took the few steps necessary to reach your bedside and pulled up a chair. You reached over and grabbed his hand. It took both of your hands to grasp his. Your hands were still chubby and uncalloused. You pressed his palm to your forehead. He winced, noting how heat radiated from your skin.

"Kaeya..?"

"Yes? Do you need something from me, kid?"

"Can you tell me a story? I wanna listen to you talk." You nuzzled his hand. He looked at you with an amused grin pulling at his lips.

"Sure, kid. Let me think. Once upon a time…"

XIAO jolted up from where he was sitting when he heard you calling. He appeared in your room at Wangshu Inn, worried something bad had happened.

He caught sight of you, curled up on the couch, snuggled deep into a blanket with a sheepish look on your face. "Sorry. Were you busy?"

"No, I was not. What do you need?" He crossed his arms, setting down his weapon.

"I, um, well- I wanted to hear a story. I couldn't sleep, and I tried everything else already." You looked away, trying to hide your embarrassment.

He took a moment to regain his composure before moving closer. "I am not skilled at telling stories. Coming up with compelling fiction has never been a part of my required skill set. I apologize for disappointing you."

"You don't have to make up anything. You can just tell me a memory about the other Yakshas when they were alive. That would make a very good story. I'll braid your hair while you talk." You scooted over so he had room to sit next to you.

He couldn't help it, a small smile pulled at his lips as he sat next to you. The feeling of your small nimble fingers weaving locks of hair into a braid was always relaxing, and it would be nice to reminisce about the past. To have someone else remember the truth of those long gone was always a weight off his shoulders.

"Okay. What should I tell you first…"

ZHONGLI didn't get why so many children hung around funeral parlors these days. Childcare was not in his job description, but he couldn't deny a citizen of Liyue any aid he could give in his mortal form.

You weren't troublesome, and often helped around the parlor. Hu Tao sent you on some of the more paranormal excursions on behalf of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Hearing a child warn others about ghosts was much less troublesome than herself or a strange adult. Your "stories" were hardly ever taken seriously.

Due to your regular trips to the parlor, you often visited with the man and talked over tea. Even though you were young, he enjoyed trading stories back and forth. Yours were normally more fantastical, aided by the imagination that comes natural to most children, while his were near-truths that he lightly sanitized for the sake of your innocence.

Normally, you would leave the parlor long before dusk, returning to your home for whatever your nightly routine was. However, today was different. The sun had already set, and you seemed intent on sticking around.

"Mr Zhongli, when do you go home to sleep? I bet you go to bed early, like Grandpa does. Where do you live, Mr Zhongli? Maybe I could visit you during your off days."

He sighed, placing a hand on your head and ruffling your hair. "You know, young one, it doesn't do your body any good to run from sleep. You should return home."

You looked up sheepishly at him, kicking your feet back and forth while avoiding his unspoken question. "I'm not running from anything, Sir."

"Tell me your troubles, child. How can I help you?"

You pursed your lips for a few seconds, clearly struggling with your words. "I don't wanna go home tonight. I was supposed to stay with my auntie, but her house smells weird and she doesn't cook good food. So I told her that I could stay at a friend's house…"

"I'm assuming you meant Hu Tao's." Zhongli sighed. The Director had left for home an hour ago, and you didn't know the way there. "I shall take you, don't worry."

"Um- actually, I wanted to stay with you. Miss Director said you tell the best bedtime stories. I wanna hear one."

He looked down at you, eyes widened in surprise. "I'm not sure that is-"

"Oh, pleeeaaassseee, Mr Zhongli! I promise I won't stay up too late or wake you up early! You could even tell me the story at the Director's place! I just really want you to tell me a story!"

Zhongli knew he wouldn't win this battle without any underhanded tactics, such as alerting your aunt of your whereabouts. It couldn't hurt to tell you just one story, right?

"Alright, let us go to the Director. I will tell you one story, but only one."

"Yay! You're the best, Mr Zhongli!"

CYNO wouldn't tell anyone, but he always looked forward to staying in Aaru Village before returning home from a mission. He planned his schedule just so that he would arrive before dinner and had enough time the next day to stay for breakfast with your family. You were the oldest of your siblings, and the only one who wouldn't groan at his god awful jokes. Instead, you would one-up him, and provide him with new material to try on Tighnari during his next TCG session.

He had been taking a stroll around the village before dinner when he heard familiar giggling somewhere behind him. He continued walking, pretending not to have noticed. It wasn't long before he felt you wrap your arms around his back and say, "Cyno!!"

"I wondered when you were finally going to show yourself." He turned and picked you up, examining you. Since his last visit, you had grown taller by approximately 3/4ths of an inch, lost some of the baby fat in your cheeks, and cut your hair. He had been gone for too long.

"Hehe, sorry. Candace was looking for you and said I had the best chance of finding you. Dinner is going to be ready soon."

"Well then we'd better hurry, otherwise we might miss Candace's cooking." He had tried to find a joke, but he was too distracted to think of a half decent one. He was finally back, and his favorite kid was already telling him all that he had missed.

He didn't miss an opportunity to make a joke all throughout dinner. He made a total of six jokes, two of which earned him glares from Candace, and five puns, one actually getting a laugh out of you. You had only made one joke, yet it received much more laughter from the other kids, as well as Candace's approval. He was losing.

After dinner, the two of you had retreated into your bedroom to compare TCG cards and tactics. You even engaged him in one game before being overwhelmed by tiredness.

"Hey, Cyno," you yawned, "can you tell me a story? I don't wanna go to bed just yet."

"What kind of story?" He asked, carefully putting away the cards.

"I dunno, maybe one from the forest. It's been a long time since I've heard one of those."

"Bored with the desert already? Don't tell me you're deserting me to move to the forest."

You stared at him blankly.

"Get it? Because desert, which means to abandon someone or something in a way considered disloyal, is spelled just like desert, which is the type of environment we are in? No?"

"Just tell me a bedtime story already."

"Fine, fine. but you never answered my question. Besides, I thought that one was funny."

WANDERER was panicking. You were sick, and he didn't know how to help. You couldn't do anything you usually could do, and he, as a puppet, had never been sick. The only real previous experience he had with sickness was the one that led to his old friend's death. Seeing you here, so small and helpless just like he had been, brought back horrible memories.

"Abhi, don't cry." You reached up and brushed some of his hair out of his face. "It's just a fever. I get 'em every year. Don't you get sick?"

" 'm not crying. And no, I never get sick. You're just a weak human child, who is more susceptible to such things than average." He tried to ignore the glare you gave him. "How do you get rid of it?"

"Well, rest is the best way. But I'm having trouble going to sleep. D'ya think you could tell me a bedtime story, Abhi?"

He seemed nervous, but decided he'd rather stay by your side anyways. Just in case. "Fine. What kind of story do you want?"

It had been a lie, originally. A simple white lie to get out of some gathering. The shock factor of his 'confession' gave him time to escape before any of them could protest. Truthfully, ALHAITHAM didn't have a child himself, nor would anyone in their right mind entrust him to take care of one.

But when Nilou volunteered to send you to join his lie, he couldn't turn you down. It was something about that look in your eye. And maybe the book in your hands. Most children in Sumeru didn't bother reading, not even with the Akasha gone. You were doing it for fun.

He decided he'd take you, at least to give him a solid excuse. Who knows, maybe he could do this more often if you didn't cause him any trouble.

"Mr Scribe, your bookshelf is very unorganized."

Okay, maybe this was a little more effort than he had expected. You couldn't blame him, he'd obviously never spent much time around children.

"Oh? Well, it doesn't bother me." He crossed his arms, sitting down on the couch.

You sat across from him, your big eyes taking in your surroundings. He noted your eyes lingering on the decor he'd bought to annoy Kaveh. Your wrinkled nose worried him. If you shared too much in common with the architect, he was in for a long night.

He made dinner, deciding that he could avoid you productively that way. You seemed to busy yourself by going through his books. You ate silently during dinner, and seemed to tire of sorting just after dusk.

Finally, you spoke up. "Mr Scribe?"

"My name is Alhaitham." He said firmly, turning the page of the book he was reading.

"Alright, Alhaitham. Your books are boring. Do you know any stories?"

He looked up from the book, his eyes catching on you. You had a book in your lap. It wasn't one he'd consider difficult, but it wasn't something he'd imagine a child would have the patience to read. "A… story?"

"You know, like a fairytale or a myth. A fable. A fiction. Or do you only read textbooks?"

He couldn't help the grin that pulled at his lips. "You've got quite the vocabulary there, don't you?" He closed the book, sitting up. "I suppose I might know one or two."

"I'd like you to tell me a story, please." You said, putting away the book you'd given up on.

"Alright, I suppose I could spare a few minutes. How about this, I'll tell you some stories from the desert. Have you ever heard about King Deshret?"

You scrambled onto the couch beside him and listened attentively as he told you one of the myths from before Deshret's death. He told stories of old gods and their followers. It may not have been a classical fairytale, but it was a story nonetheless. It wasn't long before you'd fallen asleep with your head resting against the cushions.

"You'll wake up sore if you sleep like that," he chided to your unconscious ears. He sighed and scooped you up, placing him on his lap instead.

You weren't a bad kid. Maybe he'd watch you again if he ever needed an excuse to leave work early or avoid being dragged to a party.

comments and reblogs are much appreciated!

[gayweedanimal]

Since I gotta be up for work in like 3 hours and can't sleep I might as well talk new years resolutions. Here's mine:

Long ass post so I'm readmore

Read every day: I've been collecting books for a while now and have a huge backlog of super interesting stuff to read. The only thing holding me back is making time to do it.

Write every day: Similarly, I have too many half baked projects/ideas that I need to actually finish. The perfectionist in me has been keeping me from finishing things for years, and for what? Fear of putting out something bad? Some of my favorite things in the world are bad. I already put out bad art all the time, and I love it. I've been struggling with this part of myself for far too long and it's time for it to die.

Organize my information better: I'm a notorious note-taker, but they're always very disjointed and arcane. So I guess that means I'm a bad note-taker. I've been using Obsidian more and more over the last few months and been building better information collection habits to use it to its full potential. Sometimes the first step is just to accept that your memory is shitty and learn to efficiently externalize things. Building off of that...

Manage my time better: I have so much shit going on at any one time it's often overwhelming. ADHD and my various neuroses certainly don't help. I've been doing various things to work on this but I need to stick to them better.

Finish Somnium: I put out a whole one (1) episode last year because I dreamt too big with my episode plans and didn't have the tools to bring them to fruition the way I wanted to - I need to push myself to actually finish more. This year's goal is manageable - 4 episodes.

Learn Japanese: I just think it's a neat language. Maybe one day I'll visit Japan; there's so much I want to see there. I know that seems like a far flung dream right now, but life happens fast.

Work out more: not much to say here, I just need to keep up this habit and push myself harder to build strength.

Get my driver's license: I've almost always lived in areas where I've just never needed to drive, but now that my sister has her's I feel like it's finally time to check this box lol.

Make more money: it's getting harder and harder to keep things afloat (as I'm sure is news to absolutely nobody) even with my pretty decent full time job. I'm assuming I won't get a raise, and also hoping I won't get laid off, but even still I need to get some sort of consistent side hustle doing web design or something similar.

God this really seems like a lot when I write them all down... I'm going to stick to them though. I probably won't kick all of these off at once just to not burn myself out, but I'm gonna do them all.

I really can't live without being able to set goals and make progress on them anymore, even if the progress is slow, even if things slide backwards or I fall off for months or years. I lived with soul crushing suicidal depression for so long and it really made it difficult to believe that my life was worth living or that it was worth investing in my skills or my future. I know a lot of people still think that way and I'm not the best at helping them, and that what worked for me doesn't work for everyone. But seasons change, wounds heal, and in the end, it's always worth it to invest your time in bettering yourself and to keep moving ahead.

Man, I don't know where the fuck I was going with all that but I'm leaving it in. Also why the hell am I writing this long ass post... I barely post here anymore. Anyway fuck it I'm gonna try to sleep AGAIN wish me luck at work in... 2 and a half hours. Happy new year ya filthy animals.

[dreamingsushi]

Dance of the Phœnix - Episode 17

It has been a while since I started this drama, back when I was still subbing dramas and somehow I stopped watching even though I really enjoyed this show back then. I was still curious about this series and the ending, and doing some cleaning of this blog made me think about it again. I totally forgot everything about the story or almost, so I just finished binge watching the first 16 episodes. Now, I see a lot of inconsistencies in the story, it is definitely not as great as remember, however I am still very much in love with the soundtrack and the costumes. One might argue that they aren't very accurate, but I love the simplicity and the details: scarce but pretty enough to stand out discreetly. Totally my style.

Anyways, as a quick reminder, Feng Wu was a very talented cultivator until her phœnix blood was stolen by another fellow swordswoman, Zuo Qingluan. Since then she lost her past memories and attempts to gain back her energy to start cultivating again. As such, she meets her childhood sweetheart Jun Linyuan, with whom she falls in love really quickly, and his opponent of always Yu Mingye. As she recovers her spiritual energy, she embarks on a quest to revive her sleeping master, the notorious Mu Jiuzhou. This tasks brings her to become a student at the Junwu Academy. That's the storyline so far. I don't remember all the terms for translation, so it might differ than in previous posts, so for that, I apologize. I also noted, reading back, that some of my recaps are inaccurate at moment, hence the following disclaimer: I write my recaps as I watch the shows, so sometimes I miss part of the action or might have misinterpreted some events because I was focused on a previous part. I hope they are helpful to anyone watching, but please refer to your own understanding as required. Thank you and let's now embark on this journey, because I have lots of questions and I need answers.

Jun Linyuan, Feng Wu, Zhao Ge, Xuan Yi and Feng Xun all get into the Junwu Academy together and this is day one as a student. There is a commotion right at the entrance, which is Feng Wu asking Mu Yao to call her Daddy since she passed the examination for the Academy. See that's one of the things that doesn't really make sense. Feng Wu knows a lot of stuff about modern day that she shouldn't know in the context of this drama and so far there are NO explanations. It has been said that she is not the real Feng Wu, but that doesn't say a lot. Zuo Qingluan tries to talk Mu Yao out of this, but Feng Wu won't stand back. Jun Linyuan and Yu Mingye both take Feng Wu's side, so Mu Yao doesn't have a choice to. Nobody understands what Daddy means. It sounds weird in English, but makes sense in Chinese. It's like... Daddy never existed, but only Father.

First class, Feng Wu sleeps through it. She thinks Jun Linyuan takes her away to review everything she slept through. However he wanted to give her the Jade vase as he promised her. She runs away to bring it to the Colorful bird. It breaks it and they obtain the first broken piece to awaken Mu Jiuzhou.

Feng Xun and Xuan Yi are having lunch together. Zhao Ge brings some baozi she made herself for Xuan Yi. Pressed a little by Feng Xun, he takes one, but before he can take one bite, Feng Xun grabs the second one and eats it thinking Feng Wu cooked it. However, after one bite, he spits it out right away, because it is too salty. Zhao Ge says she made it herself and that she will take it away if it's bad. She runs before Xuan Yi can grab a bite and he scolds Feng Xun. Feng Wu finds Zhao Ge feeeling down and she grabs the baozi. She says that it was for Xuan Yi and Feng Wu says he's bad for not wanting it. Zhao Ge compares him with Jun Linyuan who also isn't really good at showing his feelings. Talking about him, he just comes to bring her lunch and Zhao Ge leaves the two of them alone. Feng Wu promises to study seriously so she can fight alongside with Jun Linyuan.

Mu Yao is still very upset about what happened. She still roots for Zuo Qingluan as Jun Linyuan's partner.

The Master of the dark court realized that someone is trying to revive Mu Jiuzhou. This is going against his plans. Yu Mingye is tasked with enquiring about it. For now the only one they can think of might be Wu Youdao, since his style is quite similar to Mu Jiuzhou.

Feng Wu gets scolded in class for sleeping and someone framed her for taking the teacher's ruler, I'm too lazy to check my dictionary, but whatever kind of stick that was. It seems it was the ladies from Biluo Palace. She breaks Mu Yao's desk and is kicked out of class. She is not allowed to come back again until she melts a block of ice and makes tea out of it.

Meanwhile, Yu Mingye is going about with his mission, spying on Wu Youdao. As a special entry student from the Dark Night court, he can attend classes as he wishes. However he is quickly noticed by the old man. He advises him, without uncovering him, not to meddle in his business. Then he bumps into Zuo Qingluan. He tells her to mind her own business. She warns him that if she can't stop him, Jun Linyuan will. And she tells him that if he does anything to harm any of her disciple sisters, she won't leave him alone. Yu Mingye upsets her. She then threatens him saying that Feng Wu is his weakness and he leaves asking if she doesn't have any.

Zhao Ge made some cakes with Feng Wu for Xuan Yi. Feng Xun this time won't eat. It isn't really tasty, but he manages not to let know Zhao Ge and hurries back to class so he won't have to eat anymore. This time around, Feng Xun helped a bit, instead of hurting the lady's feeling.

Jun Linyuan is called back home. The empress/queen asks about his betrothal and he says he already has his plans for that. She pretends to be sad that he thinks her not competent enough to make a selection for him. His dad says she should take care of it since everything she did up till now was done properly. Jun Linyuan begs on his knees not to which angers the emperor/king. His son should do as his parents tell him too. The empress pretends to side with Jun Linyuan. He is punished for being rebellious. He is sent to a place filled with lightning to kneel for a long time.

As I end watching this episode, I realize I might have already watched it and wrote the recap in my notebook back then. At first I thought everything was so familiar because I was subbing this project, but Youtube tells me I already watched both episode 18 and 19. Crazy thing. Anyways, I probably now have a better insight of the story, even though I should probably watch with English subtitles since I haven't been practicing my Chinese much the past few years. I am a little proud though to rely on translations. None of my questions were answered, but that has to be it for today, because I'm tired and I still have so much to do left before tonight. See you next time!

[v01d3nt1ty]

this autism discovery thing is really bonkers. i have had a *notoriously* poor memory. i've only been able to recall lil snatches of my childhood for most of my adult life.

so now that i'm thinking on my life & ways i have historically experienced neurodivergent traits, my brain is learning how to remember. (it was only a couple of yrs ago when i learned this meant trauma.)

the point is.

i now have these absolute random memories of a time when i was very much being autistic &, ofc, the shame i was caused to feel bc i was an undiagnosed autistic child & i was doing smth i "shouldn't."

for example.

when i was abt 10 yrs old, close to the end of 5th grade, we had a Major Assignment that counted for like ½ of our grade. (like really? wtf. we're children.) anyway we had to do a report about a state that we chose.

i (inwardly) panicked bc i had No Fkn Clue what i was supposed to do. by that time i was already extremely timid & intimidated by authority, so i felt too scared to ask an Adult (also, it would mean i was stupid for not being able to figure out how to do something everyone else seemed to know how to do, & i was Gifted.) i don't remember much of that 2 wks, but i do remember anxiety & lying (i NEVER lied - i still don't - & it felt bad) to both my guardians (my mom, my grandparents)& my teacher abt how i was coming along on the report.

(idk why i didn't ask my bff for help, i'm going to guess it's bc i was always second to her & i didn't want to look stupid.)

anyway, time came to hand it in & i didn't. i was panicking so much like holy shit this is bad i'm going to get yelled at i'm not going to pass & i won't graduate w my friends & peers. i had a tummy ache all day & everything felt hazy. dissociation i suppose.

so after we get home, i'm playing w probably barbies idk but i'm playing on the floor, absolutely panicking, when my grandma gets a call from my teacher ofc. she comes & asks me what happened to the report & i was like "my teacher must have lost it." my grandma already knows i'm full of shit, but ig she decided to humor me, & says she'll call her back & ask her to look for it. & she was like you better hope she finds it. so she calls the teacher, recounting what i had said & ofc she doesn't have it. my grandma busts in & starts *screaming* at me. i start sobbing like i'm sorry i'm sorry. all i really remember was her saying "'SHE LOST IT, MY FOOT!" which even in my current emotional state i thought was weird. she repeated it like she was so furious she couldn't think of other words.

eventually she stormed out (probably yelling something like "what am i going to do with you?" & i sobbed for what felt like hrs (& might have been for all i know. i feel like i missed dinner idk.)

anyway, she actually does come & apologize at some point, probably hugs me & tells me she loves me, & says she'll try to figure it out, SIGH.

so, it got figured out, i graduated with my friends & peers. i had to do the report over the summer, & my grandma made me do an extra one for punishment.

IT. WAS. UNBEARABLY. BORING. but i got through it ok.

holy crap, did i just heal my trauma? maybe this will stop the nightmares i have abt not doing the work, not passing, & not being able to graduate (except in my dreams it's hs which is a Much Bigger Deal. sometimes i'm failing out of college instead of just dropping out like i did.)

just now recognising my grandma's inability to regulate her emotions.

🙃🙃🙃

[dontcallmecarrie]

How does Justin handle gold-diggers? Are they oblivious? Go even harder on "mom-friend"? And were there a lot of those when they took over Hammer Industries and gotten fewer over the years or were there hardly any (given Justin's reputation as anti-tony at sexual excess) ?

I can see this going one of two ways, am too tired to play up the super-serious and drama™ route atm though, so ta-da!

...aka, I swear NHDD used to be something other than rom-com levels or ridiculousness, honest.

.

Justin Hammer was an old soul.

It's literally the only thing they've got going for them, and to be completely honest sometimes they wanted to demand a refund from whatever cosmic entity was responsible because— look.

Sure, on paper they had it made because the Hammers were old money, and it was trippy as hell to grow up in that environment because a childhood with honest-to-goodness maids and drivers and private tutors was jarring enough as is, let alone when juxtaposed with the bitter knowledge of what it was like to go to bed hungry, or worry about the roof over their head.

Not to mention, y'know, the fact that Justin Hammer didn't exactly have a happy childhood. Not after his father got wind of the Stark heir building a circuit board by age four, anyway, and promptly tried to take a leaf from Johann Beethoven's playbook— albeit with wildly less successful results.

...this is a long-winded way for me to say that no matter how young Justin looked, at heart he's been a grumpy old man for as long as he can remember. Oh, sure, they'll play nice and put on a smile when necessary, but. Even if they don't have the memories, there's still that huge disconnect that means he never saw himself as a child, not really. Doesn't help that they were an old sibling twice over, either, and add in the breathtakingly low emotional IQ the adults around here seem to have going on, and ta-da!

Or, look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair, because that's how you get to the situation where we're at now: wherein Justin Hammer somehow manages to be the single most charismatic person in the room, knows how to play the game— and is basically a brick wall when it comes to romance.

He's very much a gentleman, charming and polite. Also, during childhood, had a tendency to mentally adopt anyone remotely his physical age, and that habit bled over to where if anyone were to flirt with him, the actual flirting would fly way over his head and get stuck in the vast and impenetrable wasteland that is Justin's Friendzone™.

Look, in their defense, for the longest time Justin saw people his physical age as brats. Then, especially after Steph was born, as "oh wow she's practically the same age as my little sister", and long story short, pour one out for every single person who's ever had a crush on Justin Hammer.

...which may or may not have included Tony at one point, but that's a whole other mess.

Ahem.

So, that covers a good chunk of the people interested in Justin. As for the specific category of people only interested in their money... well, let me put it this way: Justin's father cheated on his wife. Regularly. To the point where Justin, at the ripe old age of sixteen, used it as leverage to semi-blackmail his father when the misogynistic jackass wanted to force his daughter into the family business, when she was first talking about going to art school.

So, Justin grew up very cynical when it comes to that sort of thing— and when he got older and people started trying to treat him like he was a chip off the old block, promptly decided to double down on his current stance of "ew, no, they're practically my little sister's age".

Which. Means that intentionally or not, Justin's got quite the reputation as a heartbreaker— possibly even more so than Tony, the notorious flirt.

Whoops?

And I'm not sure if it'd get better or worse as time went on, especially after Steph had a kid because from then on out you know he'd be doing the mental math and if you think he was bad with the romance thing before, now he's even worse.

So either people'd start to get a clue and back off/ think he's in the closet/ is already in a relationship and just being secretive about it, etc, or...they'd see a rich, kind, and reasonably attractive man who's been single for decades and it's open season every time Justin goes out in public.

Probably some combination of both at the same time, tbh.

...good luck, Victor, you're going to need it.

[one-leaf-grimoire]

“illusion”

Chapter 14

aaaaaa what?! ANOTHER Illusion chapter within 3 months? It's more likely than you think! WARNING: violence!!! MC gets the shit beat out of her!!! Haha! Trauma!

AO3 link 

WARNING: While this chapter is not spicy, this IS a work with spicy scenes. An sfw version has been in the works and will be posted soon.

This can't be real... it can't be...

My heart runs circles around my chest, violently beating as if it's trying to escape. And I don't blame it; Wren, Giles, and I are suddenly face to face with one of the notorious Shining Generals of the Diamond Kingdom. His unexpected presence throws a wrench into our plan, and now I'm not sure that we'll be able to escape this place with the civilians- at least not alive. Already, Giles is on his knees, struggling to stay conscious in the aftermath of the "Slime mold" attack. And now, we're next.

"This is your last warning-" A gross, green material starts to emanate from the general's grimoire. "Leave now, and I won't follow."

I exchange one last frightened glance with Wren. His confidence is completely gone, but the spark in his eye tells me that he isn't done yet. 

We can't win... can we?

Wren's eyes narrow.

Am I going to give up? Just like that?

No...

Slowly, I give him a nod before looking back at the general.

He hasn't seen my magic yet. I can still surprise him. 

"...we'll fight. Like magic knights are meant to!"

With that yell, Wren suddenly jumps ahead of me towards the attacker. "Feather Magic: Starling Swarm!" A huge flock of inky black feathers come out of nowhere, swirling around in the air around Wren before coursing towards his enemy like a vicious river. 

"Fools... Slime Magic: Amebic Plague." The mold queuing up in his hands bursts forth in three long tentacles, striking the swarm of feathers. Violent fluttering and squelching fills the air as the two magics struggle for dominance, until the mold overcomes and dissolves away Wren's entire fleet. "See, this is useless!" the man cackles softly, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Now... you're next!"

The mold changes directions, this time streaming towards Wren.

However, it's too late.

In the moments that Wren was distracting him, I looked at the general's face. At his body. At his eyes.

His hands... they're soft. He hasn't done much physical training for this position; he doesn't need to. But even outside of work, he hasn't done much that was taxing. He doesn't play... not outside, at least.

His body... he's heavy. But it's not new weight. He carries it well, but his face is thin. He wasn't always this weight, but he's comfortable in it now. He gained it years ago- maybe 3 or 4 years ago. Why?

His eyes...

The flash I once thought was cruel is now something else... it's playful. And for a brief moment, when his gaze met mine, I saw something I didn't expect.

Sadness. Regret.

Please forgive me. You look like her.

Before the mold can reach Wren, I raise my grimoire, a spell forming in the palm of my hand.

You have a daughter... 3 or 4 years old. She prefers to play inside. She's sheltered. You gained weight when your wife did. Empathy weight, I think it's called...

And she looks a little like me. You love her more than anything in this world.

Illusion Magic: Memory Mirage.

Wren grits his teeth and braces for impact. I fire off my spell, a single word beaming itself right into the General's mind.

"DADDY!"

A girl's voice, high pitched and scared, screams through his mind. In that instant, I see all color drain from his face, turning him into a statue for just a couple crucial moments.

Bingo.

"FEATHER MAGIC: HARPY'S FURY!"

The general snaps out of it, but a moment too late. He and his men are bombarded with a thousand knife-sharp feathers, slicing through their flesh and clothes. With a scream, he stumbles and falls backwards. Taking a deep breath, I whirl around to see Giles already on his feet, sprinting towards the back wall.

"Horn Magic: Ibex Impact."

Two spiraling horns burst out of his head and drill right through the wall. The bricks crumble, letting sunlight stream in, and a large enough hole for people to run through is created. "Go! Everyone, run towards the outer wall!" I yell, grabbing Wren's hand to help him run as well. With a blur of movement, the civilians jump to their feet, desperate to escape, and thunder off in a big crowd. Wren sends back a few more feathers to keep the fallen enemies down just a little longer, before turning and following me out.

Giles stays at the front of the group to lead them while Wren and I bring up the rear. My heart is still pounding from that encounter, but I'm starting to relax. "That was close... we have to get out of here, then go tell the others that there's another General here!"

"Agreed!" Wren is already out of breath. "I can't believed Julius missed this guy..."

I nod, my mind suddenly filling with thoughts of Julius. Were he and the captain alright? Did they win their fight? I can still hear noises around the city, but I don't know where the sources are. I gulp nervously, parting my lips to keep breathing as I run. It doesn't matter... I'll see him again soon. For now, we have to get out of here, then I can brag to Julius about also beating a general-

"AHHH!" 

Wren suddenly stumbles forward before falling flat on his face. I freeze in place as I spot the same growing spot of green mold that Giles had earlier. "Wren!" I quickly kneel down and start helping him to his feet. "You're hurt... keep going-"

"Eh- no!" Wren grits his teeth through the pain, looking behind us as the rest of the crowd continues to run away. Sure enough, none other than the bloodied, battered General is behind us, staggering forward with pure anger in his eyes. My stomach turns, and all at once I realize just how much danger we're in. "I'll stay... I'll fight him-"

"Wren, you're in no state to fight!" I tell him frantically. We're running out of time, and fast, with each step the general takes towards us. "Go, help the others escape, I can hold him off."

"NO..." Wren shakes his head again, one hand coming up to grab my wrist, trying to pry my hands off him. "I- I need to..." His gaze raises to mine, strained with agony yet so... at peace.

"I need... to pay for my sin."

For a brief moment, the street disappears. The crowd disappears. The general disappears. We're alone, just Wren and I, as I stare into his eyes, confused and scared.

... sins?

Wren... what sins have you committed?

I wrench my hand from his fingers.

Whatever they are... they aren't enough to condemn you.

"I don't care what sins you've committed; I'm your comrade, I'm not letting you die!"

I raise my voice, and Wren's eyes widen. I flash him a grin, a confident look that he hasn't seen on my face in months.

"Go... I'll fight this guy, and win, I promise!"

Finally, Wren nods. With difficulty, he steps away, his eyes remaining on mine until he has to turn and limp (very quickly) off down the street. With a sigh, I look back at my enemy. 

I... I can't win.

I clench my fists, ice in my veins.

This fight could be my last... all I can do is stay alive until help arrives.

The general is alone, but badly injured from Wren's attack. However, I can see patches of his mold covering various spots on his body, undoubtedly stopping the bleeding from getting too bad. That's why he's alone... he's the only one in enough shape to walk out here. I grit my teeth, pulling out my grimoire once again. In that case, maybe beating him won't be so hard.

I see his mold tentacles rise up above him once again, and my time comes. I flip my hand, the spell in my book starting to glow.

Illusion Magic: Kaleidoscope.

The only thing I can make several illusions of at a time is myself, because my body is the one thing I know better than anything. The general stops in his tracks as his eyesight blurs, and once it clears, there are ten copies of myself standing ahead of him, all identical in every way. "I see..." he breathes, his mouth twitching into a grin despite the rage still burning in his gaze. "You make illusions, don't you? But..." His eyes narrow, and his grin disappears. "How... how did you know about her?"

I gulp, taking a step back. My eyes flicker up to the tentacles above him before going back to his face. "L-Lucky guess?"

He doesn't speak again, just raises his hand to point at my copies. The tentacles strike, like three perfectly coordinated snakes, and immediately rip through three of my copies, one of which is right next to my real body. Shit! My eyes widen. I almost flinch without thinking, but an unconscious impulse keeps me from doing it for just a moment. If I just flinch instinctively, the other copies will do the same, and he'll be able to see which one is me from the direction- So- Randomly-

The seven remaining copies, including myself, flinch in random directions, one right, two left, then another two right, and then two left. Without another moment to spare, I take off running, zig zagging down a side street, being careful not to accidentally clip into one of my illusions. It's a difficult task, since I can't actually see any of them, but I know where they are. With a grunt, we turn around to face our pursuer, and I raise my hands again. Seven voices ring out at once, all casting the same spell.

"Illusion Magic: Sudden Death!"

Seven balls of energy jump from our hands, converging in the middle before shooting into the general's chest. His mouth opens in surprise, his mind forcing himself to perceive the impact. That's it! I think as he stumbles back, his eyes widening. Now... look down... look down...

His gaze drifts down, to the ground, then up his legs, and then, to the gaping wound in his stomach. It's a standard one, a slice that leaves your entrails exposed, burnt to a crisp, but still oozing blood and juice. I watch as the blood drains from his face, his chest heaving as he draws in breath after ragged breath. His hand clutches at the imaginary mound, clutching at nothing, but I know that he's watching his life wane away. Finally, he looks back at where I stand, now just a single person. Any pity or sadness that he once looked at me with is gone. All there is is anger.

"Y-You..."

Finally, his knees give out from the shock, and he crumbles into a heap on the ground.

I exhale at last, my heart still pounding. I stand there for a whole minute, watching him twitch pathetically where he collapsed. That's it... I did it. Of course, I know I would be dead meat if Wren didn't weaken him first, but what's done is done. Wren... Giles... I wonder if they got out alright. Remembering the mission, I finally move, walking towards the still man who is now the least of my worries. I'm sure they made it... and then the captain, Alice, Cecelia... and Julius-

My mind is far away as I walk past the body. I don't notice the stray strand of mold until it wraps itself around my ankle, as tight and severe as fishing line.

SHIT-

I'm flung into the air, mold immediately shooting over my skin and up my body. I don't even have time to scream; the world revolves around me, upside down, and then I hit the brick wall as hard as humanly possible. With a spluttering gasp, gravity takes hold again and I thud to the ground. My entire body is being stabbed and eaten away by mold, tingling and stinging like a thousand jellyfish. Something lands on my shoulder and kicks me onto my back, and I finally open my eyes to see the shining general smirking down at me. "H-H-"

"How?" He lets out a snort. "Please... once I know the trick, none of your magic works on me. A lesser man would have fallen for it, but not me..." He laughs again, mirthlessly, and presses his foot down harder. More mold appears under his shoe, and I can't even scream.

AH.... AHHH... Tears prick at the corners of my eyes and my vision goes white. Stop it... please... someone...

"Your magic relies on dirty lies... you look at people and use the things they love and the things they fear against them."

His foot keeps pressing down, crushing me like a bug.

"You... you didn't wound my body. But my pride has been irreparably damaged." His eyes darken. "You will pay dearly."

Everything blurs for a moment, and hands grab me. No, not hands- the mold tentacles, burning into my skin, grab me and slam me against the wall again. I hear other voices, angry voices. Angry eyes stare up at me, the same rage burning within them as the general's.

"Is this the one who took you down?"

"She did not take me down... but she hurt my pride." 

I crack open an eye to see that the general is no longer alone- his five men are here now, too, varying degrees of annoyance and anger on their faces. But the general is finally smiling again, that playful, dangerous smile that I saw before.

My hands shake. My fingers uselessly pry at the mold around my neck. I can't breathe.

"Go ahead... make her life a living hell."

There are grins on all their faces again.

I- I can't move-

Hands reach towards me.

M-Move... please...

I open my mouth to scream, but choke on my own blood.

Someone grabs my neck. They hit me over and over again.

Stop... stop...

Julius reaches towards my neck with his healing hands. 

Stop... Get...

My grimoire begins to glow where it fell to the ground.

Get away-

I cough once, and something warm dribbles down my chin. I can breathe- I can breathe-

I open my eyes again. All of the men have the same face.

Lawrence.

DON'T TOUCH ME

...

...

...

Illusion Magic: Fear Landscape.

The mold retracts, and I slide to the ground and immediately slump over forwards. My body is broken, and there's blood all over me. The mold ate away at everything it could, and even now it lingers inside me. I take a few shallow breaths. My ears are ringing, both with the impact of the blows and... screaming? yes... someone's screaming and crying- no- multiple people are. I blink a few times, vaguely aware of bodies writhing around in the street. But I don't feel scared... no.

Everything is so warm. The pain slowly fades into a memory. 

A hand strokes over my hair tenderly.

"It'll be okay... I'll protect you. I promise."

Promise?

 ...

...

...

 Slowly, the pain comes back, dull and intense. I grunt as I slowly lift my head, finally sitting up all the way. One of my arms is wrapped around my middle to stop the bleeding there. "Ugh... what happened?" Was I saved? Did I cast a spell? Or did they just leave me here-

I open my eyes and finally see the scene ahead of me.

The men are still there. But they've all fallen, their bodies contorted and twisted. My breath hitches in my throat as I see their expressions.

Each one of them is filled with fear. Not any particular kind of fear- just fear, in it's purest form.

W-What... what did I do?

My hands shake as I crawl forward, one of my legs dragging behind me. One of the bodies is face up, and I recognize him as the General.

They... they're just passed out. I just shocked them into collapsing, right?

I reach out. The city is so quiet.

Please... don't...

My hand slides under his jaw, pressing down for a moment. Then another. Then another.

The city is silent.

I slowly retract my hand, to rest on his chest. No pulse of life can be found.

No... no...

My hand forms a fist, balling up his shirt.

No... I... I didn't... I couldn't...

I've seen death. I've seen blood. I've seen war. But... never at my own hand.

Something within me snaps, and I fall forward into his chest. I let go of my wound and grab his arm, as a sob racks my entire body.

"No... no... I..."

Tears stain his shirt. 

"I'm sorry.... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

There are footsteps. Voices.

Sorry... sorry... sorry...

"I-I didn't mean to... I'm sorry- I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

My voice raises in volume as the footsteps come closer. I don't hear them, just the sound of my voice and the silence of the heartbeat.

"Please... forgive me... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to! I- I-"

It wasn't your fault.

There's a heartbeat now. I'm numb, but warmth surrounds me. 

"I-I'm sorry..."

I know, I know.

That warm hand is on my head again, stroking my hair and coaxing me into a deep sleep.

Rest... you were so brave.

"...thank you. I'm...

I'm sorry..."

ooooh ouch! Well, next time, we'll see MC "recover" from her fight, but we find out that life is just as cruel to other people as well.