#it actually gets on my nerves how often manga titles will be written like that

[xbuster]

I will forever be an を = “o” in romaji truther. You will never catch me writing it as “wo.”

[fucking-zawa-sensei]

My FanFic Masterlist:

My fanfic tab is a little messy with reblogs, so I’ve compiled all of my fics into this masterlist, with small summaries for each. Click the titles to be taken to the post.

Search “fanfic masterlist” on my blog to find this post easily. I will continue to update it as I post more fics. 

Thanks for following and reading my fics. I am so incredibly happy I decided to make this blog and write for the BNHA fandom. This has been such a fun experience. Thank you to everyone who was here from the start, too. I love you all. 

As a reminder, you can also find all of my writing under the “My Fanfiction” tab on my blog. Most of it is also on AO3 (Say_Jay). 

Fics:

After Effects - Takes place after chapter 159 of the manga. Hurt/comfort from both Aizawa and Yamada. Aizawa deals with this guilt over the incidents withthe precepts and Yamada deals with his fears of losing the one he loves. 

After Hours  - Aizawa and Yamada both work late on Fridays, but unlike most nights, their schedules sync up, and they get to come home together. They unwind from their work and indulge in some cuddles. This is super fluffy. 

Don’t Kid Yourself - Chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]My multichapter angst fic, completed 9/9 chapters. It’s a very painful, slow burn that’s honestly hard to describe. Through much struggle and many confused feelings, Aizawa and Yamada figure out what love is. 

Shots Fired  - I forgot to rate this one, but it’s Mature for Violence (I am not kidding, take this seriously). This is another hurt/comfort fic. I can’t get into the details without giving away the twist. 

Chilly Afternoon - At some point I discovered I needed to stop hurting Aizawa and Yamada. So I made them a nice little coffee date in the snow. Pure fluff. It’s a short read. 

Soft - Short, sweet, fluff. Tumblr exclusive. This one is only a few hundred words. 

Ice It - Yamada takes a beating doing some hero work and heads to Aizawa’s to get patched up. Aizawa takes care of him and Yamada lets a confession slip. 

Drop the Beat - They’ve been on the hero scene for a few years, but have lost touch. Aizawa follows a lead on a villain to a shady bar and is surprised to find a certain unforgettable blond doing a DJ side gig. Aizawa and Yamada team up to take down the villain. Everything doesn’t quite go as planned. This the most action-intensive fic I’ve written. 

Overworked - Aizawa is the last person that should be trying to convince someone to take a break and get some sleep, but Yamada’s been pushing himself too hard and someone has to do it. This is domestic fluff.

Bask - Aizawa and Yamada share a sweet, fluffy date in the park. 

Oblivious - High school fic, Yamada’s parents gave him up as a baby and now he’s throwing a party at the children’s home he lives at. Aizawa is helplessly oblivious to the whole situation, but comes out to support his friend and learn a little. 

Hold me Closer - A short drabble. Yamada has a nightmare and Aizawa holds him through it. 

Warmth - A thank you fic for reaching 800 followers. This follows Aizawa and Yamada through a sweet Saturday, from morning to night, spending time together, and generally being so damn cute it will rot your teeth.

A Hero’s Work - A short drabble, Aizawa’s POV, reflecting after a particularly trying battle with a group of villains.

Not Without Trying - Chapters: [1] A three chapter fic where Aizawa and Yamada adopt Eri. 

Painted Hearts - Shouta loves his mom. She picks him up from school and runs her fingers through his hair and every day they paint beautiful pictures together. Until they don’t.

Black Tie - EXPLICIT, Yamada receives a prestigious award for his radio show, and in a rather unprecedented turn of events, Aizawa doesn’t put up a fight when his husband requests he tag along to the black tie ceremony. Yamada doesn’t put a fight when Aizawa quickly yanks said black tie off when they get home.

Prove Me Wrong - Short angst drabble 

Matchmaker - Over the months Aizawa had been training him, it was impossible for Shinsou not to notice how often Yamada would show up to pick Aizawa up after their sessions. It was even more impossible not to notice the way the tired, reserved man never once told the blond to stop draping himself over his shoulders or laughing in his ear. If Shinsou didn’t know any better, he’d say Aizawa liked Yamada. Actually, that just might be the case.Shinsou reports this and an idea to get the two teachers to notice the other’s feelings to his newfound friend, Midoriya. Kayama overhears their conversation and offers her help. Class 1-A plays matchmaker.

Room for me? - Short drabble. Mic wants to take a nap with Aizawa in the staff room. Fluff. 

Take Your Time - Drabble. Yamada needs some time and Aizawa is there to help. 

On Patrol - EXPLICIT, Hizashi suggests they make an easy, early weekday patrol more interesting with a vibrator. This leads to some hot and heavy sex in an alley. 

These Days Come and Go - Written for the prompt “Date Night” for ersaermicweek2018. Shouta has had a rough week and Hizashi decides to plan the perfect day to help him relax, but things don’t go as planned. 

Break Me, Baby - EXPLICIT, Bottom Mic. They’d been at this for at least an hour now. Hizashi was beyond well prepped, this wasn’t necessary, but he’d asked to be brought to the edge and when Shouta had asked are you sure? Hizashi had responded with Yes, and when I get there, drag me over it.

Shatterproof - Chapters: [1] [2] [3] Ongoing multi-chapter fic co-written with @aizawashovta full of emotional angst and healing. Shouta and Hizashi deal with their insecurities and helping each other overcome them. 

I Need Time - Drabble. Mic lies to Aizawa. Will probably continue this into a larger story at some point. 

Soaring - Drabble. Shouta and Hizashi share a moment in the park, studying birds. 

100 Ways to Say I Love You - An ongoing collection of 100 fics, each one a different way Aizawa and Yamada show their love to one another in more than just words. Co-written with @aizawashovta

Before You Go -  Shouta’s latest case requires some undercover work in another district, pulling him away from Hizashi for a lengthy amount of time. As the days grow closer to Shouta’s departure, Hizashi struggles to let go.

Temper - A short drabble in which Hizashi loses his temper and Shouta does his best to support him through it. 

Don’t do the Dew - A fun, sort of silly short fic in which Hizashi makes a disastrous breakfast and bears with the consequences. 

Support - Short fic, in which Hizashi deals with some trauma after being captured and Shouta comforts him. 

Kittens and Tea - Drabble. They were supposed to go on a date to a tea shop, but Shouta spots a fluffy little kitten waiting for a home. 

Rainy Day - Drabble. Shouta and Hizashi cuddle together on a rainy day. 

Play me a Song, DJ - Drabble. Shouta helps Hizashi build a playlist for his radio show. 

Credit - Drabble. Shouta and Hizashi bicker over whether a student should get credit on a test. Things get a little angsty. 

No Rest While You’re Away - Aizawa is captured and tortured and the only thing keeping him going is Hizashi. 

I Will Be Your Hands - Small fic. Post - USJ, Shouta can’t use his hands, but Hizashi is there to support him. 

How it is - Small fic. Hizashi breaks a table. 

More than This - Chapters: [1] Angsty mutual pining fic, in which both Hizashi and Shouta want more than sex from the other, but are having a lot of trouble figuring that out. Lots of jealousy. Slow burn. Lots of pain. Eventual happy ending. 

Drowned Out - Drabble. Very angsty. Major Character death. 

Riptide - Chapters: [1][2] Mermaid AU - Hizashi is a siren and Shouta is a ship captain. “Hizashi had been stunning since the first moment he laid eyes on him, lazing against the small cluster of rocks out in the open waves, but there’s something different about him now. Shouta’s heart feels like it skips, thrown across a pond, skidding across the surface before finally breaking the tension, dropping down into the depths.”

Burned - Hizashi’s speaker is decimated, his neck no better, and the stiff back of the hospital waiting room chairs aren’t doing Shouta’s nerves any favors either.

Relief - Sequel to burned, in which Hizashi comes home from the hospital and Shouta helps take care of him. 

Fever - Takes place in the same story line as Burned and Relief, a short ficlet in which Hizashi gets a fever. 

Dango - Hizashi finally gets his dango. Takes place in the same story line as Burned and Relief. 

It’s Been a While - Continuation of the Burned story line. Hizashi’s speaker is repaired. 

Run - Small ficlet from the casino au story I’ll be working on. Hizash is a genius card counter and Aizawa is his body guard. 

Separate - Sad, 500 word drabble, in which Shouta ends up alone.

Can We Keep Him? - 1st place raffle prize. A 5k fic about Hizashi and Shouta fostering kittens in their spare time. Super fluffy.

Witch/Wizard au:

Here are the little ficlets/posts building on the witch au I’ve yet to really start the full fic for yet. A brief explanation of the general au. A little ficlet of Hizashi coming home from travel. Some info on All Might’s place in the au.  Hizashi hatching a dragon egg.  And then check out @bethhankel ‘s blog for some amazing art! Her art and talking to her about this au were what made me start writing it, so definitely go check that out! 

Passing - Part of the above Witch/Wizard AU. It’s short and angsty. Hizashi loses a dragon.

Revenge - Part of the above Witch/Wizard AU, occurring after Passing, where Hizashi struggles with his grief. 

Sting - A short ficlet in which Shouta deals with the nerve damage caused after USJ. 

[narciso-anasui]

You know the drill: let’s talk no time for fairy tales.

How fucking terrifying is it that Kira was so far ahead of the game not even Jotaro had any idea? On a recent rewatch of DiU, it really struck me that Yukako Yamagishi Dreams of Cinderella is the arc right before Sheer Heart Attack, and both of those are such high stakes, emotionally-draining arcs for Koichi. You fall in love and almost die and a murderer played to you and your friends’ good hearts to escape, and you can’t tell your parents a damn thing. That’s the emotional crux of what I wanted to explore, especially as I try to tackle all of that from Yukako’s point of view.

Yukako has been my favorite character since day 1, but I’ve always had a case of the nerves when it comes to writing her. I see a lot of my bad qualities in her, but I think that’s part of why I like her. I dunno. I get hopeful when I recognize things in other characters that resonate with me, and then see them struggle but become better for it. Sadly, I think that’s a part of Yukako and Yukako/Koichi that often gets overlooked, mostly for lack of having a final act to close them out.

This is an attempt to write that final act as much as it is an attempt to parse out the very strange inconsistencies of the Stand Cinderella. I talked about it at length here, and a lot of these thoughts are crucial to understanding how the hell I went about making this make sense, but the tl;dr is that Aya Tsuji is a well-meaning scammer. Glass slippers and lipstick have a placebo effect, and the real meaning is that relationships are hard work, and sometimes you have to open your eyes and realize you made a mistake.

Minoru Takahashi is based off this NPC from both the manga and anime, and ended up being a fun little insert to write. I almost, almost called her Minoru Kobayashi until I realized there was a Kobayashi in DiU already. I considered just keeping it anyway, but I also didn’t want to have it distract anyone. Still, maybe they’re siblings?

Yukako’s family is something I have my own thoughts and personal headcanons on, but only two of which were actually relevant to this fic. Her grandfather was someone I didn’t actually mean to appear so much after the first scene, but it felt... weird not having someone in the house with her. Needless to say, they don’t have the best relationship.

Also, it’s kind of hard to ignore the fact that Yukako just happened to choose that summer house no one was in and somehow got into it... it lines up nicely thinking that it belongs to her family, especially since she knows her way around quite well. Having her refer to presumably her father as “some businessman” just brings the whole thing back to an impartial, sad mess that maybe I’ll consider touching on if I ever come back to Yukako.

Which won’t be for a while, because. Oof. This was the hardest fic I’ve written so far, considering it’s been in WIP hell since February. It’s hard to talk about grieving for someone whom you have very complicated feelings about, both in general and speaking from personal experience.

The ‘mums are white chrysanthemums. I genuinely have no idea why I called them mums other than I just hate trying to type the full name. For whatever reason I had a hell of a time deciding between Angelo or Anjuro Rock.

No fancy song reference this time. Most of the time I just pull names out of my ass and they’re called something like “anasui fuckin dies.jpeg” in google docs until I come up with a real name and then re-title the doc.

Thanks for sticking around! Next time I swear I’ll write something lighter.

[audriel]

Audriel’s FF Ouvre

As this tumblr is intended to be focused on writing, I think it’ll be fitting to list my favorites of all I’ve written so far and the reasons why they are my favorites.

Title: Ayame (FFnet) Fandom: Naruto Pairing: Gen, OCs feat. Uchiha Itachi Summary:�� Ayame, a beautiful flower that means happiness for those who believe. Hikari Ayame was supposed to be an ordinary girl until a fateful event took her to Konoha where her fate entwined with unexpected people that will affect the future of Konoha.   Thoughts: My first published fanfic. Like every first in our lives, they have a special place in our hearts. When I published this fic, I’ve just truly started writing fanfic for a year or so, the kind of fic that is not just bits of pieces of dialogues or descriptions. Naruto was the most popular fandom back then, at least for anime/manga (was it Harry Potter? I feel old...) with a huge cast that is not dissimilar of Haikyuu!! so naturally it’s a perfect place to stretch writing muscles. Even back then I was content in exploring in the current universe/world, picking at the blanks and filling them up with my own ideas without straying far from canon, and those ideas are often my own characters.

Hikari Ayame is my OC, who was the daughter of the Yondaime (who was still a mystery back then) and teammate of Uchiha Itachi. Through Ayame I explored the world of Naruto, from its jutsu to its history. Looking back, I’m pretty surprised that I hit the nail in the head on Itachi being the good guy all along. It doesn’t have many reviews, but I had a blast writing it. Unfortunately, I didn’t end up completing the fic. By then I’ve figured out I’m muse-based writer, if my muse is shot, then there’s nothing, which holds true until now. Plus I was rather (if not very) faithful to canon, so once my ideas didn’t fit, I didn’t force them to fit, or take AU route.

Title: Promises (FFnet) Fandom: Final Fantasy VII Pairing: Cloud x Tifa, CloTi Summary:  Tifa's thoughts about a certain man... a certain ring... and a certain promise.... [Advent Children Spoilers] Thoughts: I wrote this after watching FFVII: Advent Children. Without prior knowledge of the games (I am and was not a gamer), I was intrigued by the ambiguous relationship between Cloud and Tifa. I remember pretty obsessed with the Advent Children, scouring the internet for screencaps, and backstory, then ofc, fanfics. Tifa’s ring was one of the things that caught my interest, particularly how it bore resemblance to Fenrir, Cloud’s Fenrir. So there went my muse and the result was my first one-shot and my first experience in having more than five reviews for my story. I remember how happy I was when I had such positive feedback, and back then FFnet did not have reply feature, so I just basked in them (or I PMed them? I’m not sure, but I did remember always trying to respond to the kind words).

Title: What Are We? (FFnet) Fandom: Naruto Pairing: Sasuke x Hinata, SasuHina Summary:  What happens when two of the most unlikely people are united in the holy matrimony? Especially when there is no love between them to start with. [Sasuke x Hinata] Thoughts: My most popular fanfic in FFnet with 13 chapters, 465 reviews, 323 favorites and 278 followers. I’m pretty sure it’s my highest achievement in terms of popularity. Even back in my Naruto days, I have strong preference towards rare pairings, and SasuHina was the rarepair, back then, not unlike KuroDai, the writers and the readers are often the same people and formed a close and tight-knit community. However, if I am to compare it with current pairing, SasuHina is more like OiKuro, neither have truly interacted in canon, but their personalities made them an interesting match to explore. (I like OiKuro, btw) And as I was wont to do, I have fun in exploring their potential. I used the common trope of arranged marriage because considering their families, it had the highest possibility for them and I was inspired by another SasuHina fic and author who used the same premise. I wanted to do my own spin on it, even though my only experience in relationships is through books and literature XDD

This story suffers the same fate with Ayame. The muse is shot, thanks to canon. Sasuke gets on my nerves. Until the very end, (honesty I cannot believe I managed to get myself finish Naruto, I gave up on Bleach at the same time) he is insufferable. He’s not worthy of Hinata. And don’t start me on Hinata and her characterization. Kishimoto sucks at making strong female characters. Hinata and Sakura are reduced to a love interest and damsel in distress, despite their potential. I was and am still mad at the injustice that I don’t even bother correcting them in fanfic. So unfortunately, this fic is discontinued. I’m not even sure whether I want to continue even if I still remember what I intend to do with the story. There’s still a possibility, if only to give the story a proper ending. Who knows?

Title: Shades of Grey (FFnet) Fandom: Vampire Knight Pairing: Zero x OC Summary:  A series of what ifs leads to a series of questions. This is the story that explores the question: What would be left for Zero if he let Yuuki go? A character study of Zero and an exploration of Vampire Knight world. Thoughts: My longest running fanfiction, with 20 chapters and 159K words and my first M-rated fic. The least popular of my fics but my personal favorite. I consider this story my pride and joy, because this story showcases my strength and growth best as a writer. By now I’m more flexible with canon, willing to play with canon divergence and alternate universe. So when I’m dissatisfied with canon/current storyline, I goes to fanfic to correct it. I really, really hate love triangle problems in shoujo/romance stories, because it often feels like it’s just thrown in there just to make relationship problems between main pairing and the third person usually ends up underdeveloped as a character, and there are times when the main character has more chemistry/potential with the third person than the person he/she’s meant to be with, which is what happens in Vampire Knight. Yuuki is meant to be with Kaname, but I just cannot like Kaname, or see him with Yuuki. And poor Zero gets the short end of the stick. It doesn’t help that Yuuki keeps him hanging. So frustrated I was that I stopped reading the manga and threw myself into writing my own version and gives Zero a love interest.

So it can be said that this is the most selfish work of mine. What I like most from OCs is that through them I can push the boundaries of canon without stepping outside of them. I use the opportunity to develop Zero as a character alongside with mine and explore the world of VK, which is not delved deeply in canon. While VK seems to take place in a distant world unlike ours, I make it as though it is our world’s alternate universe where we have vampires in our midst. So compared to my previous works, with the exception of Ayame, this story requires and demands the most research for the world building, which naturally pushes me out of my comfort zone of thinking and writing only of the characters and their relationships. I also delve into darker and more mature themes whereas before I did more gen or PG pieces. It ends up pretty angsty, it looks like I like to have my characters suffer ^^; Poor Zero and Misaki (my OC).

The story is currently on hiatus, due to writer’s block. Unlike Ayame and What Are We?, I actually have a rough draft of the whole story and even have the ending written. It’s only the problem of getting there.

Title: The Gentle Princess (AO3) Fandom: Princess (manhwa) Pairing: Yapha of Skarde x Theodora of Anatoria Summary:  What if Theodora was married sooner to Yapha and became his third wife, right after Haisha? How would this change the fate of the three kingdoms of ASR? Thoughts: This is my first taste of joining a Big Bang Challenge, to be precise Het Big/Little Challenge 2011 by het_bigbang in LJ (ooh, the LJ days, I’m lookin’ pretty ancient, aren’t I?). Wait, wasn’t it stated 2012 in AO3? Well, I didn’t manage to meet the deadline, so I submitted the completed work for next year’s challenge. This story has the most impressive word count (71,126 words), and I am damned proud of it, especially because it’s completed. OMG, it makes me really happy that I have completed multi-chapter work.

The only downside is the fanfic from a relatively unknown fandom and characters, which leaves not many readers and reviewers, but I’m still happy and proud of this work of mine, because now I can read this and pretend that this is how it goes in canon for this favorite, but minor pairing in Princess. (I’m pretty sure my fanfic is the only one in the fandom in AO3 XDD) Princess is a Korean manga, known as manhwa, which story revolves around the princesses of three kingdoms (and three generations, I think) of ASR. So it’s a epic story, which naturally makes the fic, an epic fanfic. However, unlike VK I have easier time in worldbuilding since the manhwa is quite thorough, the problem is in the political undertones and intrigue throughout the story. I am guilty of using the non con sex and unexpected pregnancy as plot device again in this story as in Shades of Grey. While I like how it affects the plot and development, I hope I do not offend or worse trigger anyone :( Otherwise, I love the development in Yapha and Theodora, and between them as they grow from strangers to friends and to potential lovers.

Title: Perspective (AO3) Fandom: Daiya no Ace, Diamond no Ace Pairing: Gen, Kuramochi Youichi, Shirasu Kenjirou, Miyuki Kazuya Summary: An unfortunate circumstance puts things into perspective. Alternatively, Kuramochi and Miyuki from Shirasu's perspective. Thoughts: My return to fanfiction scene after a year without publishing anything that is not a incoherent mess of ideas, of disjointed dialogues and descriptions. As I look back, I’ve come to realize that my muse works best when I start with a premise, then build on it. The premise is simple: what if Kuramochi gets sick? Injury does have the most potential, but I've got enough of that in Act I and now we have another in Act II, sighs. Then I explored the 5W+1H based on what I know (and hope) about Kuramochi and the others around him. And voila, 16K fic! Shirasu provides an interesting perspective, he does not have the all-knowing eyes like we did as readers, but I feel like he knows more than most of Seidou (esp he gets help from Miyuki-specialist, Kuramochi). The fic ends up into a pretty interesting character study, and most importantly relationship study between Kuramochi and Miyuki.

I was afraid that I was getting rusty but the response is surprisingly positive with 7 comments and 33 kudos, considering it is a rare gen fic among mostly slash fics in the fandom. Admittedly it can be considered as pre-slash, with my KuraMiyu goggles, they look like one :D I hope I’ll come around to write a proper KuraMiyu one day. Regardless I’m very happy and satisfied with this piece, because not only it’s completed, but it also achieved what I want to achieve, a further look into KuraMiyu and Kuramochi being treated as precious friend/teammate/brother as he should be.

Title: Until Next Time (AO3) Fandom: Haikyuu!! Pairing: Kuroo x Daichi, KuroDai Summary: Kurodai Week 2017 Day 1: First Meeting / Next Time Pacific Rim AU. Thoughts: Not exactly my first dip into Haikyuu, but it’s my first non-gen fic after my long break from writing and my first try in portraying my fave pair (and rarepair), Kurodai. I have a lot of reservation in writing in Haikyuu fandom. Despite having followed the anime and manga closely, I am not certain in my grasp of the wonderful characters, more so in my favorite characters and pairing. However, I’ve read the whole fics with Kurodai tag, to the front and back, and front and back again. Then, thanks to @spring-emerald who reblogged kurodaiweek, putting the prompts front and center in my dashboard, I was stoked to join, especially when I was sort-of successful with hqbrofest (though satisfied it’s another matter, neither fics from the challenge are listed).

It is also a mean to challenge myself, because for once, the theme is already decided and it’s up to me to make something out of it. Somehow it’s gotten to my head that I want all the fics for the kurodaiweek to be AUs. I have no idea why I wanted to do that, when my grasp on the characters were weak and tenuous at best, and now I had to put them in different situation/universe while keeping them in character. WTF BRAIN?????? 

My initial take of the theme/prompt is hello and goodbye and my mind goes to dark and depressing Hunger Games AU where KuroDai are from different districts who both in their own ways try to defy the Capitol and end up teaming up together to protect Hinata, the youngest and most innocent tribute. Despite death looming over them, they build a pocket of peace and happiness between the three of them where they become a makeshift family and KuroDai quietly falls for one another even they know it is not meant to be, but it strengthens their resolve to get Hinata home, and they do. In their final moments, they promise to meet each other in the next life and build a life together that they are robbed of in this life. 

asd;akjfadkjfslkldkjdfladksl, I’m only writing the idea and I’m crying. Not a very good way to start Kurodai Week isn’t it? So I scrapped the idea and look for other possible AU I can do (I have a list of AUs, believe it or not), and I end up choosing Pacific Rim AU. Unlike the HG AU, I have no clear idea in mind, except using the iconic Kurodai phrase of until next time. I spent half of the time researching and fitting all the characters into PacRim universe, and before I knew it, I’ve got 10K story. While I feel like the story is solid, I have my doubts whether it’s good enough, and it seems so with how few and sparse the hits and comments at the beginning, but then slowly it gains readers and reviews...and up until now I’m still flabbergasted at the reception. Right now it’s my highest rated and reviewed fic in AO3. I’m just glad that I finally write my own KuroDai, my first and hopefully not my last. Cheers!