#it IS an old friend. hi. and fuck off.

[prlssprfctn]

Batsiblings convince Jason to get himself a cooking Tiktok account, and he gives in. To his surprise, he quickly gains millions of followers and a loyal auditory. The only problem? Jason has no idea that these people came here not necessary for recipes.

Jason: Geez, my followers had been pissing me off lately.

Dick, confused: Huh? Why?

Jason: They keep commenting ATE. Like, dude? Fucking where? I am not eating in my cooking videos. What is the fucking point?

Tim, choking: Oh my fucking God-

Jason, making an angry text post for his followers: YOU ALL. STOP COMMENTING "RAW". MY MEAT IS NOT RAW. I AM A PROPER COOK. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Cassandra: Maybe it is time to tell him...

Tim, Steph, Duke, in unison: NO

Bruce, awkwardly trying to have a conversation with Jason: Hey, lad, how is your cooking blog is going?

Jason: Uh, people keep commenting cryptid messages. Like, the last time I was showing the right way to tenderise meat for chops because apparently it wasn't clear and someone requested the whole video? Anyway, I did it, and the whole comment section was writing me "in bed, on the floor, on the couch, on a chair, against the wall, against the window, against the door"... Like, why would I do that, not in the kitchen?

Bruce, no less clueless: Maybe it some kind of challenge. Kids love trying new stuff in extreme places nowadays.

Jason: Huh. Maybe. Thanks.

Bruce, just proud to have a proper conversation and somehow a help: Anytime, Jaylad!

Damian, who was unblissfully educated on the slang matter by Tim (because it was his responsibility as a big brother to traumatise him), with his eye twitching: ...None of these words were in Quran

[starry-bi-sky]

i have been unmedicated for the entirety of spring break and thus have had little interest in writing this down, but i have been thinking about this for the entire week (as well as a dpdc clone danny au that resulted in it becoming its entirely separate batman au that includes a teenage vigilante bruce wayne, an ocarina, and me entirely incapable of making a batman au without making bruce dirt poor but we're not talking about that) and so i've finally went 'fuck it' and forcibly grabbed my laptop. I will get this done in one sitting even if it kills me.

BUT. This is about neither clone^2 danny nor about who i am calling Ocarina Batman. This is about my Danyal Al Ghul Au and more SPECIFICALLY it's me thinking about his relationship with Sam and Tucker specifically.

Tucker and Sam? Adore this asshole (affectionate) with every fiber of their being. And it is very much a reciprocated feeling, but Danny's thoughts will not be delved into much other than he would kill for them.

Tucker? The only person currently capable of getting a deep, loud, belly laugh out of Danny. Sam can get him to smile and to laugh, but it's the kind that's a chuckle-under-the-breath. The quiet, looks-down-while-huffing laughter. Snorts once with laughter and then grins stupidly.

But Tucker? Tucker can crack a slew of stupid jokes and Danny will be incapacitated for the next five minutes because he's laughing so hard that he can't breath. He lands one well-timed pun or quip and Danny will be close to tears. His laughter is their favorite sound in the whole world.

Sam is lowkey jealous of this ability, and she's gotten a belly laugh out of Danny a few times. But alas, it is Tucker who wields this power and has gotten it the most times out of the two of them.

-

They're also both physically affectionate with Danny as much as possible. It started roughly around when they were 12-ish, a year since they befriended Danny, and they noticed that he sought after touch but never seemed to initiate (and was in some ways repulsed by it). They started slowly being more touchy with him. Hooking a finger around his to lead him somewhere, tapping his wrist, looping arms. Little touches, grabs, etc, to get him used to it, and once he started doing it back they started increasing it.

It's gotten to a point where he will now just. Lay on them. Like a lizard sunbathing on a rock. Leaning on their backs when they're sitting in class before the bell rings, his chin on their heads. He'll talk about anything with his arms looped around their shoulders.

If they're sitting on a couch at either of their houses, he'll lay his legs on theirs. Him and Tucker will press their feet against the other's and try and push against them (newsflash: Danny always wins, Tucker claims its the ghost strength but Danny's been winning since before his accident)

-

Naturally, both Sam and Tucker know where Danny keeps his weapons on his person, and are allowed to grab them off of him if they need it. His only requirement is that they don't lose his weapons if they take it and forget to return it immediately.

They both understand how big of a thing this is from Danny, and so they do their best to treat his weapons with a lot of respect and care because they know its his way of saying he trusts them.

-

Sam and Tucker are so fond of Danny it's insane. Like fr. That's their goddamn best friend, and they are so protective of him. Emotionally, physically, you name it. They will tear the head off a grown man if they need to, Danny's had scars since he arrived in Amity Park and Sam and Tucker both are going to find the person who put them there and make them pay for it.

One time, Tucker overheard a bunch of upperclass girls speaking nastily about Danny and about the rumors surrounding him, calling him names like 'freak', 'monster', etc. Danny was with him and heard it, and seemingly appeared unbothered by it, even telling Tucker that he was used to such rumors.

Tucker was so furious that hacked into the school system later that night and tanked those girls grades. They were kicked out of their clubs and had to go to mandatory tutoring for the rest of the year. He made sure to leave some way of letting them know it was him who did it.

And Sam doesn't like using her money for things, doesn't like abusing that wealth. So instead, whenever her parents talk bad about Danny, she causes a media incident that has her parents scrambling to deal with. She does something wild, outrageous by her parents' standards.

She heard some boys on the basketball team making fun of Danny once, similar to those girls had. She kicks up a fuss about something eco-unfriendly at school and forcibly holds a protest on the same day of the big home basketball game, forcing them to cancel the event and reschedule to a visiting school.

She anonymously donates money so that there's new uniforms for the team but oops! Looks like she "forgot" to donate enough money for them to get uniforms for all the team members, and strangely enough those boys in particular didn't get them! Looks like they'll have to wait until more money gets donated for the basketball team to get their new, nice uniforms. The old ones look so ratty in comparison, right?

And since the football team gets most of the sport money, that might just take awhile. And if (and when) they kick up a fuss? oops! Off the basketball team you go, :) such unsportsman-like behavior is unfit for the team.

(The only good thing about how corrupt the school system is is that she can use it to her advantage too.)

The both of them know that Danny suspects them for the sudden misfortune falling on these people, but he doesn't call them out on it. He's kinder than he used to be, but not kind enough to vouch for people who speak badly of him. Sometimes, he might just congratulate them on not getting caught.

Because Danny is their wonderful, hurt friend with a "slightly" Blue and Orange Moral code, and enough scars that people have been calling him a criminal (and worse) since he arrived in Amity Park when he was ten. And they'll be damned if he gets hurt anymore.

[zoetszoroark]

DEPLOYING HIGH VELOCITY OLD MEN YAOI

HAPPY VALENTINES!!!! im aroace so idc abt valentines usually but its an excuse to draw flipsneakaboom so

[fuckthatroomupgood]

y'all help a 40something dilf in my neighborhood has been Very Friendly with me all summer and I have to pretend that I'm not obsessed with shlubby middle aged men

[aliusfrater]

[thefastestclockintheuniverse]

I know I keep banging on about it but it's really hitting me this time around that pre-sgrub Karkat is... a huge fucking arsehole. He is callous, and rude, and obsessed with this idea of being a leader and in charge.

Which maybe comes from growing up in a culture that despises weakness and difference - and that's not all he is. We also see him care for his lusus and some of his friends - but it's so grating compared to where he is at the end of even Act 5.

In this moment Tavros is alone, couldn't get hold of his team mate or Terezi, is realising he's fucking paralysed and the one person he reaches out to him says:

HEY ASSHOLE, STOP PLAYING GAMES FOR GIRLS.

[puffpawstries]

hello 2024 my friend has dragged me back into my Osomatsu-san brain rot,,,so have a wip

also happy birthday neets this is so crazy

[hanafubukki]

Ohhh they are saying…what if Trey and cater used riddle, someone new and who didn’t know better, to bring order to heartslabyul and shaped them into who they wanted to do it…

It makes sense but also mixed feelings about this if true.

Will wait for official tls, dont want to spread misinformation.

Edit: apparently, Leona and idia kinda lied about it, but you know…it’s nrc…how much of it is really lies??

[yardsards]

people love an "i'll take care of you" "it's rotten work" "not to me, not if it's you" character dynamic until the character who needs to be taken care of is disabled. then it's supposedly fucked up and toxic for a person to have to take care of someone else.

[not-the-state]

Me:

I will not start another fanfiction

I have multiple WIPs already. There is no reason to start another fanfiction

To start another fanfiction would be a foolish overcommitment

Two minutes later:

My brain: Yeah so we all agree that Jimmy Solidarity Gaming, otherwise known as the right honorable Lord Gaming, is most likely to die in any given SMP, but would probably survive the longest of his peers if they were physically isekai'd into said SMPs? And we agree we should write about this?

My beta: Yeah you should do something with that

Me: Guys what the fuck-

[itsmarsss]

y’all am I overreacting im actually pissed off

[redhoodie1723]

the imaginary carlos and charles beef that some fans are convinced is going on is giving Netflix DTS trying to convince us that charles and sebastian were mortal enemies that prayed on each other’s downfall nightly

[raddest-laddest]

ok. someone’s gonna have to come get my dad or i’m gonna tweak.

[namelessprince]

MY BEAUTIFUL RIPTIDE OCS... their names are catalina and milo avery <3 catalina's a water genasi, and milo's a tiefling :] !!

[grandwretch]

one of the many reasons I love Rachel's POV is that she just does not get Marco. Not at all. Jake and Tobias know hes putting up a front more often than not, and Cassie especially sees right through him, but Rachel buys the mask. She even thinks, originally, that Marco might be against fighting just to annoy them. I'm not even sure that Rachel ever really understands how deep Marco goes down the rabbit hole.

Like, I don't think she's doing anything that Marco doesn't want her to-- She isn't being mean or anything. I don't think it's because she dislikes him, or because they're constantly fighting. Marco is doing this on purpose. He puts on a mask with everyone, but Rachel, especially, and she buys it hook, line, and sinker.

And it really makes you think, like-- How long did Marco and Rachel know each other before his mom died? Is she basing her assumptions off a boy that doesn't exist anymore? Is that why Marco keeps up the front with her, or is it because she's the most popular, the prettiest, and the strongest? Did Marco have a crush on Rachel before his entire world fell apart? Is that why he's desperate for her to never realize it did?

[fisheito]

EVeryONE STOP SENDIGN ME THE mOoncake YAKUMO IM NOT OK!!!!!!!!+++++++++