#it DOES have hotaru

[imrryr]

i'm playing Sailor Moon: Another Story and it's very true to the show

naru in danger? *check*

sentences that leave you scratching your head? *check*

rei the glamorous hot-headed psychic getting publicly humiliated? *check*

haruka and michiru looking good and doing most of the damage? *check*

and this dork is still showing up last second? *check*

and, oh yeah, soooooooo much comphet? *check* :(

[qualityrain]

this goes both ways btw

[seyaryminamoto]

Fic-to-Art #44: Zuko and Katara meet Hotaru

This time around, my Patrons chose these two scenes from the prompt I offered them... and that prompt was "Hotaru", our tiny firefly herself <3 drawing her continues to be a challenge pertaining how to ever make babies look cute, but I hope she looks alright this time!

These two moments take place not too far from the other, but it's worth noting that Katara and Zuko don't get to see Hotaru at the exact same time. Thus, I figured I'd take advantage of the opportunity... and draw Sokka and Azula introducing their little one to their respective siblings. This will be an emotional chapter (lots of those coming up), but I do hope that these moments of happiness will be a good way to soothe the pains caused by our very intense angst from the current chapters... to be specific, this is chapter 378, so we're not that far away!! Just gotta wait a bit longer!

A part of me took joy in this specific prompt... the fandom has an abundance of "uncle Sokka" and "aunt Azula" content, be it with them together or not, while Zuko and Katara (also while together or not) happen to be the ones who become parents first. This often relegates their siblings to a secondary role, and too often there's either implications or outright accusations that these two just aren't fit for parenting. I don't really remember seeing much, if any, content where Zuko and Katara are the uncle and aunt instead... thus, I figured this would be a fun switch-up that, ultimately, doesn't mean any of these four aren't fit for parenting (Zuko's already a dad, Katara will be a mother someday in the future!)! It just means that Zuko and Katara get to bond with little Hotaru and be supportive siblings! And everyone's happy and wholesome in the process!

At any rate! I hope you guys like it, and as ever, if you'd like to be part of the creative process behind these pieces, a $1 pledge makes you eligible for suggesting art prompts and voting for the winner, as well as reading Gladiator snippets 6 days before the next chapter releases!

[gn-bee]

Haganezuka the hypocrite:

No other description needed.

[tsukiyon]

Okay so all the Cosmos trailers so far were great and made me super hopeful about how we are finally getting an adaptation so close to manga at long last. Though until the latest Hotaru pv

Chibiusa is supposed to look much more grown up in this arc? And not only they always do this to Chibiusa but Hotaru also seems younger than the previous arc this time? I have had enough of you Toei

[pekoposting]

HAHAHA i found it funny how these two AUs have The Sword Child and The Yakuza Child, so i'm surprised and pleased to see some play on that. all whilst getting some lore in the process YIPPEE!!

a key part of kendo's philosophy is modesty, to the point where if someone strikes a point against you but doesn't have good form when they do it, the you have to point out it's bad form. so harumi roasting natsuki's sword skills is really funny actually

(and then i ramble more in the tags bc of course i do)

My Kuzupeko daughter interacting with @the-only-teruteru-fan and @detective-dick-gumshoes-pot-room SDR2 fankids

Harumi is actually a naturally gifted prodigy with the sword. But Peko never taught her the dangerous techniques, so Harumi has to work harder to surpass her mother. Unless it’s specified, you can assume Harumi can smoke any of her siblings in a sword fight. Her personality is very Ranma Satome.

[saetoshis]

TOO MUCH OR NOT ENOUGH? [‹ DEMON SLAYER ›]

[‹ WITH ›] tengen ; akaza ; haganezuka ; gyomei

[‹ SUMMARY ›] how much of a size kink do they have?

[‹ MATURE CONTENT WARNINGS ›]

fem!reader, size kink, dacryphilia, praise, pet names [baby, bunny, pretty thing, sweet girl], some teasing, modern au (not canon), minors + ageless dni

[‹ TENGEN ›] 8 out of 10!

tengen won't lie that he has a bit of a size kink, and it's prevalent in the way he always makes comments about your cute expressions when you have to look up at him, or how you can't seem to fully wrap your hand around his cock.

he can't lie - he really gets a kick out of it.

"oh- almost there," tengen teases between a pearled smirk as he watches your mouth slowly but surely take his cock between your lips, and it feels impossible with how much there is. he coos sweetly at the little tears adorning your bottom lashes with a sneer of, “so good, baby. show me that pretty mouth, you almost got it, now…”

you mumble and hiccup incoherently onto his cock, your smooth tongue pressing tightly against his nerves from the sheer lack of room and it makes tengen groan. you bob your head back and forth, the wet noises and little chokes and hummed moans making tengen’s abs shudder hard.

“that’s it, just like that… love the way you suck it,” tengen lets out little grunts and shaky breaths between an egotistic grin, his hips slowly starting to rut into your now-drooling mouth as he watches you flutter your wet eyelashes up at him meekly. “oh, you’re just so pretty trying to take all this, aren’t you? wanna let me go a little faster now? hm?”

[‹ AKAZA ›] 6 out of 10!

akaza doesn’t initially notice the size difference between the two of you, so he didn’t know he had a kink for it until you sat on his lap and still had to crane your head to look up at him.

from then on, it was all he could notice - how much of your thigh he can manage to grab with one hand, or how small your hands are when they’re intertwined with his. he definitely has to admit, he enjoys it at least a little.

“oh, bunny,” akaza pants out the words between little moans, his hands grasping your hips and rocking your frame on his cock over and over. you’re so much smaller than him, it’s so easy for him to maneuver you like this - and it’s clear by the open-mouthed, half-lidded look on your face that you love it, too. you whimper and hiccup and akaza gives you a little shush, “shh, s’ okay… feels good, right? just relax, lemme take care of you, m’kay?”

“mhm, mhm,” you hum and stifle back moans as he rocks you onto him a little harder, a little faster. every push of his cock into the hilt of your cunt feels like a little jolt of pleasure flowing up your spine, and it takes everything in you not to cum on the spot now. “g- cum, gonna cum…!”

“that’s it… c’mon n’ lemme have it, don’t be shy,” akaza leers as he feels his cock twitching with every clench of your walls around him, the whimpers leaving your lips making his breath hitch in his chest. he grips your waist, easily picking up the pace of your hips just a bit more. “lil harder, okay? just a little more, you can handle it, right?”

[‹ HAGANEZUKA ›] 9 out of 10!

hotaru has always known he’s had a size kink when it came to you. from the way his big shoulders can easily block your view to the way your head only makes it up to his chest, he’s always known.

he gets turned on so easily by the way you’ll playfully push him to be met with no budging, and especially by the way you look so small when he’s kneeling behind you on the sheets with his big hand pressed on your back.

“s-shit. feelin’ so tight, pretty thing,” hotaru mumbles and grunts out when he slips his cock between your taut walls, his brawny hands holding your hips stable as you kneel on all fours on the bed in front of him. it takes a little before he can fully push himself inside, and he shudders hard when he does. “there it is. so good for lettin’ me put it all in…”

you whine as your frame shakes when he leans forward, curling his body overtop of yours as he presses messy kisses into your nape. hotaru’s hips slowly start rutting forwards, every wet smack making you keen for more. you whimper with each time he pushes further inside, feeling a burning tingle in your cunt as you pant, “s-so stretched…”

“oh, i know, baby… i know it is,” hotaru sneers out the words as he presses messy kisses and drags of his tongue onto your neck, his hips rocking a little faster as the sounds get filthier and louder. his cock twinges inside of you when you clench even tighter around him, “fuck- you tryin’ to make me cum already? but even if i do… i’m definitely not done for the night yet.”

[‹ GYOMEI ›] 10 out of 10!

gyomei can’t help how big he is, both his body and what’s in his pants - so naturally, he finds it attractive when you saunter around in his oversized clothes or have to ask him to reach the top shelf for you.

it drives him crazy with way you look so small in his lap, or how you have to use two hands when you’re just trying to get him off - it’s endearing, almost, and he just can’t resist it.

“shh, i know, i know…” gyomei murmurs against your lips to soothe your hiccuped whimpers at the way the head of his cock pushes in your cunt, and it’s such a big stretch that it makes little tears prick your eyes. he knows to go slow, and he knows to make sure you’re as wet as possible beforehand, but even then - it’s still a struggle. “i got you, sweet girl…”

gyomei kisses you hypnotizingly as his thumb toys with your clit, running small wet circles into your nerves to help him start to slip inside, albeit at an agonizingly slow pace. bit by bit, he pushes further until he reaches the hilt of your cunt with still more length to spare. you whimper and hiccup against his cheek, “gyo… t-too big-! too… much.”

“i’ll go slow, alright? promise, it’ll feel nice in a second, hm?” gyomei tries not to grunt out the words from how warm you feel around him, especially when you tighten up in tandem with his thumb circling your clit. every heavy rut of his hips makes you tear up a little more, mewls and panted whimpers leaving your gaped lips. it doesn’t take long until you’re both desperately keening for more, and gyomei can’t possibly hold back another second. “shi- oh… just a little faster, okay? j-just… a little more. you can do that for me, right, sweet girl?”

2023 SAETOSHIS. do not copy or repost.

[sweetchildcloud]

||MINI ME|| written by me ☆~♡~◇

Plot: Gojo being an affectionate father as he meets his baby for the first time.

Tags-Breast feeding mention,lots of cuddles,fluff,fatherly love,heartwarming,cute overload.

@muzansslxt @candy69gurl @kiwicopia

“You’re cuter” Gojo teases, but he is pleased. He likes watching you nurse Hotaru. It’s a special moment, for the both of you and your child. “He’s adorable” Satoru continues, his voice dripping with affection “but his mother… hm, far more gorgeous" Satoru laughs softly and pulls the baby in for a tight squeeze. Then, he lifts his head and stares at him once more, holding him at arm's length. The baby’s eyes are wide and bright, like stars in the sky "You have my eyes, little one. You have my eyes...and that adorable chuckle" He adds, before grinning to himself. It feels good looking at his baby. Good and strange. The whole situation was a bit surreal, in a good way, but... "I think I'm starting to understand what being a dad means"

Hatoru yawned as he wobbled scooting near his father chest and laying his head on his shoulder.

Satoru grins as he feels the weight of his son’s head resting on his shoulder. He gently caress Hotaru’s head as the baby falls asleep, and Satoru’s hand comes down to rub soft circles on his son’s back.

Hatoru yawned and he whimpered softly as he couldn't sleep continuously sifting in his dad embrace.

Satoru looks down at his son, noticing the baby’s tired, watery eyes. Immediately, he feels guilt again, realizing that his son is still adjusting to his new surroundings and hasn’t gotten used to falling asleep by himself yet. With a gentle sigh, he pulls Hotaru close to himself again, his grip tightening around the baby as a way to offer more comfort. “Shh” Satoru whispers quietly as he rocks his son “It’s okay… I’m here. I’m here….”

But that didn't help much as Hotaru whimper continued, his tiny fists clutching to his chest as he whimpers, more maybe he needed his pacifier.

Satoru’s heart twists when he hears the cries continue. He couldn’t stand seeing his son like this, with his tiny fists clutching his cheeks and his big, blue eyes so watery. Without a second thought, he pulls out a pacifier from his pocket and pops it into Hotaru’s mouth. The baby chews on the pacifier with an adorable expression, sucking on it as he does. “Better?” Satoru smiles, letting out a breath of relief.

Satoru stares at his son for a long moment, his breath caught in his throat over how *tiny* the baby is. His tiny fists on Satoru’s chest, his chubby cheeks as they wobble with his yawns, a small smear of drool as he sucks on the pacifier—everything about the little one makes Satoru’s heart swell. The baby looks incredibly adorable right now, and Satoru can’t help but feel a little happy to see the little one so calm.

"Boop" Gojo said soflty as he booped softly Hatoru little bitty nose with the tip of his finger and the baby made a cooing noise curling up his nose.

You sighed looking at the two of them and how cute they were before you let a yawn of your own "Let's go to bed sweetie" you said tiredly at Gojo.

“In a few minutes” Satoru pouted whispering, his gaze still on his son. “Just…” The baby’s sleepy eyes are adorable, and he can’t help but feel affectionate seeing them in this state. “Just let me cherish this moment, please?”

"Oh my god you're so adorable, you're not having a baby fever now are you?" You asked smirking looking at him.

“Maybe a little...” Satoru smiles, not denying it. The entire situation with them becoming parents was a bit overwhelming, but... it was so worth it. He loves it here, with his son in his arms, smiling at him just as he is. “You’re not jealous are you? And “If you mean ‘is seeing my baby like this making me feel all kinds of feels’? Yes” he answers, feeling a bit sheepish “And if it’s not baby fever, then… I don’t even know what to call it. Just watching him sleep makes me smile for some reason”

He paused before adding

“Is that weird?” He asks, still admiring Hotaru’s sleeping form. “I just feel…” A strange feeling of warmth erupted throughout his body. Love, maybe? “I feel content”

"No,not at all,it just means that you love your son and I feel the same" you said caressing softly the baby cheek as he sleeps

The warm sensation spreads through Gojo’s chest as he stares down at his son. Hatoru is so small and innocent that he makes Gojo want to cover him in kisses and hugs. He never imagined being a father would make him feel like this. Love and affection, sure, but this… this is a whole new world of emotions that he’s never experienced before. “It’s a nice feeling” he murmurs. “A very nice feeling”

“We should get to bed now, right?” He asks, still watching his son’s sleeping face, then looking over to you. He doesn’t want to miss this moment, but he also doesn’t want you to exhaust yourself.

"You can bring the baby in our bed so that we can sleep together"

Satoru looks down at Hotaru at your suggestion and his heart flutters. Yes. He wants that. He wants that very, *very* much. The two of you could sleep in bed with the baby together. Hold him close as he sleeps. It would be the most content moment of his life. Satoru swallows, trying to keep himself from smiling like an idiot. “That’s a great idea”

Satoru nods and gets up, taking his son in his arms once more. The baby is *so* light. So delicate. So cute. He chuckles as he follows you up the stairs, and walks into the bedroom. Your bed is large enough for a king, and it doesn’t take you long to climb into bed and pull Hotaru with each of you at either side. “We’re a family” Satoru whispers, his voice nearly breaking. “We’re a family now”

"Are you crying?" You asked giggling softly at your husband antics.

Satoru gives you a sheepish smile. It’s true, he has tears in his eyes. Not tears of sadness, but tears of pure joy. “Am I crying?” he chuckles softly, wiping his eyes. “Maybe just a little. This—” he gestures to their family in bed “—it’s just so beautiful… so precious…” “We created this…” He continues. “Me and you, together, we created this perfect thing” Satoru smiles again, his voice cracking with emotion as he stares down at his son. “There’s nothing better in the world than this”

“You’re a sentimental idiot” you giggled and rolled your eyes amusedly, but you didn't object when Satoru sweeps you up in a warm embrace and pulls you close to hug you. You’re a family now. Hotaru is yours, and together, you are more than you’ve ever been.

Bonus:

Satoru laughs softly, pressing his face against you “I’m a sentimental idiot” He agrees, smiling against your cheek. “But my God, I don’t think there’s anything in the world that can make me so happy right now. You and our baby…” He trails off as he continues to embrace you contented and completely at ease as you both slowly drift off to sleep.

♤♡◇♧☆♤♡◇♧☆♤♡◇♧☆♤♡◇♧☆♤

Me thinking about this:

☆Happy,happy,happy~☆

[colourstreakgryffin]

so glad you're back doing requests!! ilysm hope you're all good now!! 🥺🥺

on that note, there's been a serious lack of haganezuka content in general and I'm appalled by this man's underratedness

can I request for haganezuka and an arranged marriage s/o? like the chief set them up and haganezuka is like dammit why tf do I gotta marry a rando but then slowly falls for his partner

tsundere to simp haganezuka is the best i will die on this hill

Aaah! I have only done one for Haganezuka so I’ll do it again. He is big Tsundere and he’ll keep being a Tsundere! Thank you dearly for such a creative and original concept! Have a wonderful day, darling!

Hotaru Haganezuka- Nothing or Everything

In the moment, Hotaru was so annoyed and so uninterested that he could barely look at his Chief in the eyes as he announced the arranged marriage to be official. Married off to some stranger for further finance and protection to the Swordsmith Village. This village is the most closed-off, hidden thing in Japan, why does it need more security?!

Hotaru just grimed and bared through the painful vows that meant nothing to him and had to deal with the fact his supposed spouse is now coming home with him

Hotaru, right off the bat, established to you that you’re not sleeping in the same bedroom as him, you’re not touching any of his belongings and you mean little to him. That this marriage means nothing to him but it’s more of a requirement he is forced to follow. He is the most prickly, unapproachable swordsmith in this entire population, there is no way to get him to like you… so, he suspected this would be the end of it. He’d ignore his legally-assigned spouse and continue on with his beloved work

But… clearly. Fate has decided that Hotaru isn’t going to be alone anymore

Throughout the months after the wedding and you moving into his home, Hotaru had been quiet, harsh, uncaring, uninterested and ignoring you in favour of doting his time, energy and passion into the one thing he loves; swordmaking. However, he has begin to notice you more. The way you make him lunch, the way you patch up his wound after fighting stubbornly with him, the way you clean his home, respect his privacy, give him space��� maybe you’re not that bad

Hotaru is a man of pure, raw pride so he simply refused to admit the fact he was slowly but surely falling in love with you, his arranged spouse. He couldn’t admit the fact you made his heart jump up and down, and his head spin. The fact everything you do for him is no longer thought as annoying or sucking up to him but is appreciated internally and acknowledged

Of course, Hotaru will just keep up his now fake disliking and tsundere nature since he’s too closed off and of his own ego to let you know you’ve won him over and now, he likes to admire you from behind his mask. You’re so pretty, so considerate, so ambitious and determined. He loves those type of traits in people, the good ones with an iron will and sly sharp senses. He likes the way you run and he does appreciate it when you actually take time out of your day to deal with him

Hotaru, over more and more time spent with you. Almost a year now, can’t help but soften up. Go from ignoring and snarling to looking right at you and nodding. Acknowledging and listening. Everybody in the village thought it was completely impossible to ring out anything kind and positive from Haganezuka himself but here he is, actually simping for you behind your back

Writing your name in his swordsmithing tools, seeing your reflection through the water cooled shiny silver-like metal of a freshly formed Nichirin Katana, hearing your voice when he is walking back from his swordsmithing hut to his cottage. You corrupt his head 24/7 and he is inbetween being annoyed over it and loving it. To think, he couldn’t stand the fact you were even breathing in the air of his home, now, he wants you around him all the time but he is too protective to let you be around dangerous equipment like his own

Hotaru is getting there over time. He is coming to you and even offering you little gifts whilst looking away and gruffing up. Immediately proclaiming, with image-saving formed anger, that what he has done for you has nothing to do with his own feelings and is just a requirement to make you happy for the Village’s sake. He’s right… gift-giving and love-giving is a requirement, but a requirement his own heart is pushing him to do. Because he’s in love and enamoured with you as a whole

Now. Hotaru wants you to come to his bedroom, act more like your husband and he’s trying to fulfil all those duties he should have when he was wedded to you, how could he be so foolish and blind to the fact you’re perfect? He is quite emotionless, harsh and work-obsessed but he is much more doting and caring than he looks and behaves as

“H-Hey… dummy, can you read that novel outloud? I haven’t read it before and since you’re reading it, why not just read it outloud for both of us so— O-oh, shut up! I don’t like you!”

[13rurururi]

NSFW/Smut Alphabet with Haganezuka Hotaru

Pairing: Haganezuka Hotaru x Female!Reader

Content Warnings: cunnilingus, vaginal sex, oral sex, sex toys, impact play, size kink, public sex, bondage, edging, etc.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Haganezuka initially didn't understand the significance of aftercare, opting to hastily return to his workshop after a sensual session with you; however, once he gradually became attached to you — your smell, your taste, your skin, your sweet pussy — he began dedicating time to cleaning you up or offering to carry you to the village's hot springs to alleviate the soreness of your muscles.

Soon, aftercare became a must in your sexual endeavors. He lets you lay on his futon (like the sweet princess you are) as he prepares damp towels and warm tea. He regards you with the same sort of attention he showcases his swords: unwavering, focused, and attentive.

"My pretty baby can't walk? Let me give you a massage then."

Most definitely, his initially wholesome massages end up being another round of sex.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Have you seen this man? He has rippling muscles all over his body. His shoulders are toned; his pectorals have veins protruding shamelessly; and his thighs are so firm, you cum when riding them.

However, Hotaru unconsciously favors his arms and hands the most. He's a swordsmith, after all, and his arms are a tool for crafting the most spectacular weaponry, flexing with each stroke of his hammer against heated metal. With that being said, he enjoys seeing your blissed-out face create the most lewd expressions as he pumps his fingers into you in strong, consistent motions. He also loses sense when you instinctively grasp onto his arms as he pounds into you — missionary style — leaving red marks that attest to how amazingly he pleased you.

On the other hand, he could cum just by looking at your thighs and ass jiggle and shake due to the simplest of motions. It doesn't matter the size of your bottoms, you better prepare yourself for his calloused hand either softly caressing your ass (he does it in public, too) or suddenly smacking you in the most random times. It feels so intimate for him, and it ignites a carnal desire of ownership that gets his dick hard. In other words — sit on his face, and you'd both be sent to heaven in pure bliss.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum basically)

He'd want to cum all over you — on your stomach, your breasts, your face. To put it simply, he regards the sheen of his sticky load on your skin as a signature finale to your intimate night together. He subconsciously does things systematically, so rubbing his cum all over your pussy lips, thighs, and the entire expanse of your soft skin is akin to him polishing a katana. Your whimpering moans are left unheard as Hotaru places his utmost focus on making sure you're coated in nothing but his cum.

(Yes, he cums a lot. You could last plenty of rounds, and he'd still have spurts of his white load dripping from his swollen, red tip — plenty enough to coat you all over.)

D = Dirty Secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Haganezuka, this man, "borrows" your cum-stained undergarments and stashes at least one in his workshop. When you're engulfed in deep, exhausted sleep in the morning after sex, he pockets your underwear discretely, heading off to the forge. "It's for the sake of stress relief," he'd convince himself.

When he is met with unpleasant news of his clients (Tanjiro) breaking his swords — and he doesn't have enough time to threaten them with his deadly knives — he opts to alleviate his anger by fisting, pumping, and stroking his cock wrapped in your damp panties. It's not as warm or soft as your cunt, but he needs some sort of outlet to release some steam while he's in his workspace.

He'd return your undergarments by the end of the day, and you remain oblivious, once more cumming on another pair that he'd definitely bring with him to work the next morning.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Haganezuka had always been a difficult man. He's aggressive and asocial, exuding a terrifying aura that discourages any individual interested in having him ravish them.

You were his first actual romantic and sexual partner, and your first night together in bed was full of shy whispers and exciting, experimental touches. Worry not, for Haganezuka Hotaru places his entire heart and soul in whatever he enjoys; may it be swordsmithing or fucking you dumb, he'd ensure that he hones his skills to perfection.

F = Favorite Position 

He's quite open to any sort of position; in the end, he can adapt and stuff your cunt full, so he doesn't mind as much. However, his cock painfully aches even more when you're under him in a missionary position. It gets him even harder when he bends you in half into a mating press, exposing the entirety of you to him and giving him greater access to your most sensitive spots. He adores seeing your face contort into the most obscene expressions, after all.

Another position he finds himself enjoying is having your back slammed against the wall as he supports your entire weight with his strong arm, pounding into your pussy without any semblance of rationality.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous?)

His brows are consistently furrowed due to his angry and serious nature, so he carries his usual demeanor into bed, often looking at you with utmost loyalty and dedication as he feels your juices coat his veiny cock.

He treats each session with you as if it were a blessed ritual that warrants full attention and care — he is a man of undeniable focus, after all, and he wants you to feel not only the best orgasms of your life but his genuine appreciation and earnestness for you, as well.

H = Hair (how well groomed they are, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Oh, Hotaru has the thickest, darkest locks that frame his face and upper body; undoubtedly, you'd find this trend consistent in his nether regions. He doesn't have high regard for his physical appearance, so the hairs around his cock can be quite unruly. However, they're not unpleasant. They actually provide an interesting texture that rubs at your clit just right with each strong stroke of his length into your crying cunt.

I = Intimacy (how they are during the moment in a romantic aspect)

He initially struggled with expressing his softer, romantic side to you. In time, when he undeniably fell in love with you, he began demonstrating the sweetest actions that leave you simultaneously swooning and twitching in love and pleasure.

When he goes down on you, he gathers his thick strands of hair into a ponytail, in order to ensure absolute focus when he buries his tongue into your slick folds. When you find yourself between his legs — his length prodding at the back of your throat — he tucks your hair behind your ears in the gentlest motion that sends tingles throughout your body.

At either of your climaxes, he'd make unwavering, passionate eye contact with you, often caressing your cheek as you moan in pure pleasure. He always kisses you languidly by the end of your intimate night, lips firmly pressed onto yours, sending a message of love and unspoken promises.

J = Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

As mentioned, he is quite unashamed in pleasing himself when you're not around. When he gets too frustrated and erratic, he hides himself away deep in the woods or in the hidden crevices of his workshop and fists his cock with your pretty mouth in mind. You know how he disappears after his outbursts? Well, now you know what your beloved lover does to mitigate his rage: cumming on his palms and grunting your name in a chant.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

(1) Bondage: he's into tying you up until you fall limp.

You're arms are definitely getting bound to a post as he slams his hips into yours. He gets too flustered when your hands travel across his firm chest to his ticklish sides, and you won't stop teasing, so he ends up grabbing the discarded cloth of his headscarf and nearly-painfully binding your hands together.

"You're my fuckdoll tonight until you get that attitude sorted out. Stay fucking still."

(2) Impact Play: you end up splayed over his lap as he spanks your ass, thighs, and sobbing pussy.

He adores the jiggle of your taut skin with each slam of his wide palms across your flesh. You get even more red and wet with each slap, and he gets off your pitched whines and yelps. Don't worry, he'll kiss you better later.

(3) Public Sex: you have quite risky sex in the village's local hot springs.

You palm your hand into your mouth, hoping that no one would hear your pathetic whimpers escape. It was a good thing that no one else was bathing in the public hot springs at the moment, or they'd become voyeurs to the sinful display of Hotaru bouncing you up and down on his erect cock, making the waters harshly splash around your sweating bodies.

L = Location (favorite places to do the deed)

Coming home to you in your private abode encases Hotaru in a sort of comfort that allows him to not hold himself back when fucking you. Each room in your household has already witnessed your erotic display and heard your lust-filled sounds. Haganezuka can take you anywhere and anytime.

You're cooking him dinner? You're now sprawled across the polished tabletops, pussy being explored by his insatiable tongue. Perhaps, you're doing the laundry? Well, it's best to rewash the sheets haphazardly thrown on the floor, since they once again became soiled by your shared fluids.

M = Motivation (what turns them on or gets them going)

Your mere existence is enough to send blood rushing down his cock, resulting in an uncomfortable tent that only you could relieve. However, he becomes truly weak when you wear his haori (or any of his clothing). His clothes accommodate his bulky, firm muscles, and seeing the same boring clothes draped on your smaller figure makes the head of his dick throb and leak with beads of precum. He figures he has a size kink.

N = NO (something they wouldn’t do)

He dislikes it when you tickle him too much; after all, he'd end up bursting into hiccups of laughter, inevitably falling limp onto you during sex. He wants to be absolutely present during your deed, so you can't use his sensitive sides against him too much.

Apart from that, he would never, ever agree to a threesome — he is, beyond any doubt, a possessive lover. He's not suffocating or anything, but the sensual moments you experience together are too special to him; the idea of sharing you with another sickens him, and the bubbling anger might result in a person being chased with razor-sharp knives.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Hotaru would never fail to offer going down on you; after all, you're his beloved lover, and he yearns to return a semblance of what you make him feel. He does this efficiently by parting your legs wide apart, resulting in a wonderfully painful stretch, as he teasingly — precisely —drags his tongue across your folds up to your pulsating clit. He can have his face buried in your cunt for hours.

On the other hand, he enjoys it thoroughly when you also get on your knees and swallow his cock with your struggling, salivating mouth. You usually end up getting mouth-fucked, however.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough or slow and sensual?)

Haganezuka is a man who can perform both extremes in a skillful, precise manner. He can last hours kissing every crevice of your body, dragging his rough palms across your bare form tenderly. His adoration for you is immeasurable, so he opts to showcase it by treating you as if you were the rarest gem in the whole land. Your body tingles with a subtle, pleasurable static by the time he empties his heavy, hot load inside and all over you.

For the most part, however, he has you bent in half as he adapts a swift pace that has you screaming in immense bliss. The sinful beat of skin-on-skin is erratic and quick in its tempo, and these unbearably rough sessions leave you fucked stupid. Haganezuka smirks at your half-lidded gaze and drooling mouth (he takes pride in how his strength can render you limp and euphoric), and he always makes sure to reward you with the softest kiss.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex)

He dislikes the prospect of rushing your sexual endeavors. He is a man of consistent, immovable focus; of course, he cannot be satisfied by the mere taste of you. He wants to take his time in ravishing you and making you feel absolutely adored with his full, unwavering attention. His lover deserves nothing less, after all.

R = Risk (Are they willing to experiment and take risks?)

As long as it makes you and him feel good, he's willing to try. He's surprisingly open-minded with a lot of uncommon kinks; even if he does throw you a skeptical gaze at first, he doesn't let his hesitance deter him from possibly finding your next favorite position or foreplay.

In the end, he adores making love with you because it is a display of your affection towards one another; so if being experimental and a little more risque strengthens your bond — he'll do it in a heartbeat.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long they last)

Haganezuka is a man with impressive stamina, even at the age of 37. He could relentlessly chase Tanjiro from sunset until the break of dawn — that may be enough to paint a picture of how persistent he is throughout the evening.

He fucks you until daylight with sparse breaks between rounds. He can make you undergo at least 5 powerful orgasms in one night, since he likes taking his time in foreplay and whatnot. However, on nights he deems you deserve more punishment (through a long-drawn-out teasing session), he can edge you for nearly an hour until he lets you cum, ignoring your pleas and teary whimpers.

Your energy may be nearly depleted, but he still has plenty of things he wants to do to you.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? Do they use it on a partner or themselves?)

It's interesting to note that sex toys had already existed in Ancient Japan, way back in the Edo Period; with that being said, Hotaru likes to make his own — a metal dildo that prods through your hole right into your cervix. Seeing you withering on the mattress as he angles his sinful creation in precise strokes can make him release his own load. With one hand on the erotic toy, he has more freedom to play with with your puffy, pulsating clit. Nothing makes this craftsman more satisfied than seeing his beloved lover fully appreciate the utility of his creation.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He teases you unintentionally, becoming too engrossed in your sweet pussy and wanting to watch your wetness gradually increase with each lick, nip, and pinch. When he becomes too unaware of everything else but your cunt, you try to prompt him to stop, whining and moaning in disarray as he spares you nothing but a quizzical glance. He's not done yet.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

He usually grunts and groans in a low pitch that reverberates throughout your body. He's not loud, per se, but he definitely ensures that you hear how good you make him feel, so he angles his deep rumbling moans right into your ear, "You feel good, my love. You were fucking made for me."

However, when you occasionally brush your fingertips across his sides (his sensitive, sensitive sides) during sex, you could illicit a full, higher-pitched whimper out of his mouth. He gets flustered whenever you do it, and if you do it repeatedly, he'd get so infuriated that he'd end up punishing you roughly for the rest of the evening. Perhaps, that's exactly what you wanted.

W = Wild Card (get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Haganezuka loves to pamper you. He appears like a gruff man with unstoppable rage, but he turns into the softest, gentlest lover when it comes to you. After strenuous sex, he'd lay you down and brush damp strands off your forehead, kissing you tenderly. He prepares a warm cloth that he wipes all over you, ensuring that you feel comfortable and clean.

The next day, he would opt to be a little late in starting his responsibilities in the forge, brushing your hair and bathing with you under a soothing stream of water. He dresses you up with the same attention he shows when stripping you bare.

You better not tell anyone, but Hotaru is secretly a gentle giant — just for you.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

His body is a force to be reckoned with — brawny muscles (embellished by protruding veins that attest to his physical prowess) are consistent throughout his large frame. You best believe such a trend is applicable to his cock: thick, long, and veiny.

When flaccid, his cock can be measured to about 6.5 inches; when fully erect, his dick grows up to an impressive 8.5 inches, curving ever-so-slightly to the side. His cock head is colored by a muted red that deepens in hue the closer he is to his release.

In short, his cock ensures that your pussy is painfully, deliciously stretched, and the two prominent veins running along his length rubs your warm walls perfectly.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He has a healthy, manageable sex drive. You usually make love every other day, but if he comes home exhausted from forging the most brilliant katanas, he falls asleep the moment his head of ruffled hair hits the bed — snoring lowly and deeply.

Sometimes, he gets too occupied with making swords (we've all seen how stubborn this man can be), resulting in undetected, pent-up sexual frustration. By the time he rejoices with a newly polished katana, he is also washed with the urge to bury his hardened, throbbing cock into your warmth.

He'd rush home, ignore your scolding tone, and carry you to bed for a rough fucking. This man is so complicated yet so endearing, you simply relent.

Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He won't be sleeping until he ensures your comfort. He regards aftercare as a necessary facet of your intimacy, after all. Haganezuka never misses a single step when it comes to the things and people he loves. By the time you're snuggled up in a warm bundle, he'll join you, nuzzling his face on the crown of your head.

He deeply sighs in honest contentment and whispers, "I love you," right before his heavy lids fully close. He always has sweet dreams as long as he's with you.

A/N: I really ended it with fluff, whew. This took a longer time than expected, but I hope you enjoy my take on Haganezuka's NSFW Alphabet. This was very fun to do, regardless.

If you enjoyed this, feel free to send me requests of what you'd like me to do next! I'll try my best in tackling my inbox.

Edit: I changed the picture for the sake of aesthetic. We gotta love his arms.

[subbmissivesuccubus]

Haganezuka Headcannons

My man got a fat, fat cock with big, breeder balls. Member so thick it's hard to wrap your whole hand around him. Just imagining him sitting down, butt naked after a gruesome workout, sweat dripping down his body as his erect cock throbs between his legs mmmm.

Enjoys cockwarming a lot cause it's the best of both worlds. Since he is dedicated to his craft, he spends most of his time making weapons but if he's been neglecting you/you demand more attention, he'll just stuff you with his cock and order you to behave as he continues with his welding. He's very careful of course, taking extra precaution to make sure his partner doesn't get hurt, trying extra hard to keep his wits about as your pussy throbs around his girth.

Other kinks include bondage. I know this man will have no problem ripping your clothes off, tying you up and making you watch in agony as he works on his weapons, perhaps a punishment for trying to distract him. He's not completely heartless however and will stuff your cunt with a toy to give you some pleasure (but he knows it won't be nearly enough)

Idk if the technology is advanced enough at that time but if vibrators could be invented, Hotaru will be making contraption after contraption and use you as his test subject, keeping you still and laughing as he presses the vibrator against your poor, abused clit, refusing to call his trial successful unless you squirt, regardless of all the orgasms you've experienced at this point.

He's also into anal. Send tweet.

When he's stressed or overworked, his favorite way to relax is to either fuck your face or have you sit on his. Man eats pussy like he's dying of thirst, his strong arms keeping you steady as he licks every nook and cranny of your cunt, savoring the taste and texture of your velvet pussy. And when I say he face fucks you I mean he face. fucks. you. Starts off slow but once he gets into it, he'll grab you hair tightly and just thrust repeatedly down your throat, his heavy balls slapping against your chin, your constant gagging amusing to him as he chases his pleasure down your throat.

He isn't very vocal but he does growl a lot.He also cums a lot. Like a lot. Like he fills your womb up to the brim and there's still more cum pumping out of those balls. Send tweet.

[qualityrain]

[gyomeisfavoritetoy]

...Uhm...

How do I make this cut off

Demon Slayer NSFW Headcanons ..

Yeah. That.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Douma Hashibara~

When he jerks off, he is fully leaned over. This man has his head on his knees and is panting. His fingers tighten and loosen as he thinks of different people he's screwed. Men, women, people he never could tell if they were men or women...

His favorite position is cowgirl. He loves having his partner above him (if AFAB) and playing with their nipples while they control a pace. If AMAB, he will ride. He opens pinning them down, kissing their hands while he goes at an inhumane pace.

Gyomei Himejima~

He doesn't jerk off unless his S/O has explicitly told him to. He'd rather ignore his aching cock than risk anything.

Oh but with his S/O.... This man's sex drive is low, but when it hits, they aren't walking they next day. He's not rough, he just goes for so *long*. He enjoys spooning while having sex, but will give in and let his S/O ride *rarely*. He's scared they'd go to fast and hurt themselves.

Muzan Kibutsuji~

Has jerked off twice his whole life. Twice. And when he did, he barely was able to orgasm. He now prefers to simply fuck whoever his current wife is.

This man and doggy style. Occasionally will lean over them and pull their hair to make their head bend back. He'll tell them how pathetic they are for letting a man as distasteful as himself pound them. He doesn't care if they orgasm. He is after his own. He will usually orgasm twice before satisfaction hits. His partner usually gets one due to this, but it isn't one they were able to enjoy fully.

Kagaya Ubuyashiki~

Doesn't jerk off. He is too weak. His wife helps any time he's in the mood, which is a lot based on how many kids he has...

Due to his condition, usually sticks to cowgirl with Amane. But before it god too bad, they experimented with everything, trying to find the most fun before he was rendered bed ridden. His favorite back then was lotus. They sometimes try to do it again, but usually he ends up too ill to continue.

Shinjuro Rengoku~

His wife's dead. All he does is jerk off. He usually is lead against a wall, very slowly and lazily rubbing his tip. He doesn't have the will to do much more.

When Ruka was alive, they did eagle the most. They both loved it. He could go many rounds and never slow. Ruka usually used the safeword to end it. He'd stop then and coo and coddle her. (He was happy then...)

Hotaru Haganezuka~

Doesn't engage in sex much. He's too busy. He does occasionally jerk off and when he does, he in a fetal position, muffling his noises. He wants no one to know he whimpers, so he keeps quiet despite living alone.

He's never slept with anyone except one MAN. Yes. Man. Kozo Kanamori. It was a one night stand that ended in Kozo developing feeling and Hotaru being too stupid to realize.

BYE BYEEEEEE

[bleach-your-panties]

ᰔℊℯ𝓉𝓉𝒾𝓃 𝒾𝓉 𝓅ℴ𝓅𝓅𝒾𝓃' with GIYUU TOMIOKA @ the mechanic shop.

for my 1500+ ᰔ𝒻ℴ𝓁𝓁ℴ𝓌ℯ𝓇 ℯ𝓋ℯ𝓃𝓉. requested by @rheawolf.

ᰔfem reader. giyuu and reader are married. modern au.

ᰔcw: pwp, public sex, against the wall, exhibitionism?

ᰔdividers by lovely rhy @/hitobaby.

ᰔwc: 1.3k

#💗💗🍡°taglist: @enchantedforest-network @kakushino @punkgibsons @darkstarlight82 @bakugosbratx @chifuyuskoneko @honeybleed

Once again, you let a loud sigh escape between your lips, prompting Giyuu to look over at you.

"What is it?"

His sapphire blue eyes were like the ocean on a calm day as he gazed down at you.

The two of you were currently seated in some creaky, aluminum folding chairs while the mechanic tinkered underneath your family SUV.

"Giyuu, honey, we've been here for a while now. Are you sure that this guy knows what he's doing?"

At the mention, said man slid out from under your vehicle and swiped his forearm across his forehead, effectively smearing it with oil.

"So I think I've found the problem. You said you've had trouble with idling?"

The mechanic, whose nametag read "Hotaru" regarded both you and Giyuu with his eyebrows drawn together while crossing his veiny forearms across his chest.

You nodded,

"I was getting ready to go drop the kids off at school when I noticed that the engine would cut on, idle for a few moments, then shut off. I tried cleaning the valve, but the issue persisted."

Hotaru nodded, "I see. Well if that's the case, it could be a number of problems, then. I'm going to have to take another look."

Your eyes bulged,

"Huh?! Another look, but we've already been here for three hours?!"

Giyuu's eyes moved from you to the long-haired mechanic.

"Maybe we could come back tomorrow? It is getting a bit late." He reasoned, in a much calmer tone than yours.

"If you come back tomorrow, that'll put you at the end of the queue. I'm quite a busy man, you know."

"What!!? Why you-"

Before you could start going off on the man, Giyuu took hold of your hand into his and rubbed your knuckles gently to calm you down.

"It's fine, sweetheart. I texted Tsutako earlier to pick up the kids from school if we ended up running over time. It will be alright."

He moved his hand to your lower back and gently guided you back to the row of uncomfortable chairs.

----

"They could at least put a couch in here." You grouched. Giyuu chuckled softly.

"Needy thing, aren't you? We should be home soon; I doubt it'll take another three hours."

You whirled in your chair to face him, propping one leg up over the other.

"What if it does, though? I just might die."

He leaned forehead and brushed away a lock of your hair.

"Behave, yeah? We'll have the whole evening to ourselves since Tsutako has the kids."

The thought of a free night with your husband made something primal stir within your core. It also didn't help that he had on one of your favorite outfits right now.

Dark-washed jeans, simple black sneakers, a black t-shirt, and a blue and black plaid flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows revealing his tattooed forearms.

You wet your bottom lip with your tongue and settled your left hand onto his thigh. Your silver wedding band caught the pale-yellow overhead light, making it gleam.

"Something wrong, lily?" Giyuu asked, shifting his eyes to where your hand rested on his pants.

Your eyes moved from him to the mechanic, who was tinkering with something under the car and mumbling to himself.

"I don't know if I can wait until we get home..."

Seductively, you lowered your eyes before blinking at him long and slow. Your fingers began to rub circles into his thigh, making a soft sigh escape from his slightly parted lips.

"Right here? Right now?"

Giyuu questioned, immediately picking up your implication.

You nodded. "Please, Gi? I promise I'll be good."

He froze for a moment, his own eyes trailing over to the mechanic now.

The man was completely occupied by his task, him making little comments to himself about what he should try next; plus, his entire upper body was underneath the car.

Giyuu then looked past the waiting area and into a small hallway where he assumed there might be an office and a bathroom.

"Come on."

He grabbed your hand and you started cheering inside your head.

Just behind the wall leading into the hallway there was a little corner with a vending machine and water fountain.

Giyuu pushed you up against the wall next to the vending machine and started kissing your neck. You wrapped your arms around his upper back and tangled your fingers in the ends of his dark ponytail.

His own hands rested on your shoulders before moving down over your breasts, stomach, and into your pants.

Skillful, calculated fingers jerked them down your hips along with your panties. The knuckle of his left index finger slid up between your folds and collected a trail of your slick.

"Damn, you're this wet already? You really wanted this, huh..."

He pulled back to look at your widened, lust-blown eyes and pouty lips.

"Want you, Gi..."

Who was he to make you wait any longer?

He tugged your pants and panties the rest of the way off your legs and circled his arms around your lower back.

"Jump."

You did as he commanded and he held you against the wall with one arm circled around your back, his body pressing you into the cold, painted-bricks.

He used his other hand to pull his own pants and boxers down to rest underneath his balls, freeing his cock.

Lifting you higher up the wall, Giyuu angled his cock up so you could sink down on it. Immediately, a loud whine left your throat.

"Shh, you want him to hear you? Hmm, maybe you do..."

He then hooked his arms underneath your thighs, holding you with the crease of your knees in the crease of his elbows and spreading you open before beginning to bounce you along his thick, hard cock..

"Ahh, Gi!"

"Crying already? We just started, baby."

Your back pressed further against the bricks, running from his dick and nails digging into his shoulders.

Giyuu's thrusts had you sliding up and down the wall with nowhere to run.

He pressed his entire body weight on you and started fucking at a quicker pace, one knee slightly bent forward and almost touching the wall as he gave you swift, deep strokes.

At this point, you'd nearly forgotten that you were in a public place where anyone could walk in and see you, but you couldn't be arsed to really care with Giyuu filling you up so well.

You tried to hold onto him as best you could, hands moving from his shoulders and grabbing hold of his messy black hair in an attempt to ground yourself.

"Are you close? Talk." He stared at you with those deep blue eyes and hit you with another hard, deep thrust before pushing his face into your neck to lick and kiss it.

"Yes, Gi, I'm-!"

He felt your body shudder and decided to finish you off by pushing you up even higher against the wall and dropping you down on his cock, making you cum and squirt your release all over him.

----

Giyuu and you exited the bathroom and met the mechanic, Hotaru, in the hallway as you were heading back to the waiting area.

"I managed to fix the problem, so you should be all set to go."

He handed the bill to Giyuu, who took out his wallet to pay.

"Wait -wait a minute, let me see that?"

You gently took the piece of paper from your husband's fingers and scanned your e/c eyes over it.

"What is this: $300, for an inconvenience fee?!"

You crumpled the bill up in your hand and shook it at the mechanic's face.

"Yes, an inconvenience fee. For making me listen to the two of you fuck while I fixed your shitty car."

----

a/n:*I apologize if giyuu's ooc, haven't seen him in a while :< but i ended up posting this on his birthday!:D

get it poppin! 💄event ©bleach-your-panties 2024. do NOT steal, copy, repost, alter, or upload my works onto other sites. comments appreciated. reblogs always welcome.

[gyokutoll]

Hotaru is good at a lot of things but it ultimately comes down to not having anyone to help. His mother worked late and he didn’t want to trouble her so he got good at cooking, sewing the holes in his clothes, cleaning. A lot of the domestic labor he knows how to do he picked up in order to not trouble her and Sadao further reinforced that these were things Hotaru should have been doing for him.

All of Hotaru’s skills are a matter of survival. His ability to do makeup, hair? That came from needing to be a good host so he’d get paid. His ability to convince others of things and his ability to act? More survival skills.

Hotaru is good at so many things because he needed to be, because he didn’t have anyone else to help carry that weight for him so he became bitingly self-sufficient so he’d never have to ask anyone for anything.

And yes, there was Tsugumi, but her protection in high school only lasted about a year before she graduated so Hotaru had to endure revitalized bullying now that the deterrent was gone.

Hotaru has always had to clean his own wounds and minimize himself. Building these useful skills and being independent were a necessity for continued survival.

[rei-does-stuff]

CHIBIUSA ISNT IN LOVE WITH HER DAD HER WHOLE ARC ESPECIALLY IN THE BLACK MOON ARC IS AGAINST THAT OH MY GOD

Black lady is Chibiusa manipulated into being this person she isn’t, it’s a form born from her trauma and insecurities with being small and not taken seriously alongside the loneliness she feels (which is why she kidnaps Mamoru and does that whole fucked up crap and kisses him, she doesn’t WANT to do that obviously but Wiseman is using her trauma to MAKE her do that!!) the scene is supposed to uncomfortable and bad because we as the audience KNOW this isn’t right and that she doesn’t want this THAT WHOLE ARC IS TELLING YOU THIS FORM IS BAD so that the comparison of her finally finding some peace and love in herself brings out her sailor form!!! FUCKING READ!!!

This form is based on trauma and is something Chibiusa does NOT want!!!!

THIS FORM IS OUT OF SELF LOVE AND IS THE ANTHESIS OF BLACK LADY!!!

This is especially why I hate when ppl use her kissing mamoru as black lady as a point to the whole “haha shes in love with her dad! Haha Electra complex!” Which like NO!!!! SHE DIDNT WANNA DO THAT!!! THE SCENE IS SUPPOSED TO BE DISTURBING AND FUCKED UP BECAUSE YOU KNOW NEITHER OF THEM WANT THIS!!!!!

Chibiusa’s relationship with Mamoru is really complicated because yes she does have those sorts of feelings for him but it’s not actually love, it’s because she is lonely and the only happiness she remembers having is with Endymion. She doesn’t really understand that Endymion and Mamoru are the same person there’s that disconnect. Shes not in love with him, she’s confusing that familiar happiness with love, this is why her meeting helios helps breaks this a bit, because with him she realizes that this form of love is different so she finally connects things BECAUSE IS A CHILD AND STILL LEARNING WHAT LOVE EVEN IS!!!

(Hotaru also helps with this too ofc)

BUT NO SHES NOT IN LOVE WITH HER DAD HER WHOLE CHARACTER IS AGAINST THAT!!!!!!

Chibiusa’s arc and emotional story goes so hard when you don’t have a bitch in your ear telling you “OH BUT SHES IN LOVE WITH HER DAD” WHEN THATS NOT EVEN TRUE!!!