#istg I posted it but I cannot find it anywhere for the life of me so like idk guess I just. didn’t for some reason

[arolesbianism]

I was going to rb my last Sprinkles art I made to make a joke abt the contrast between my Sprinkles art but apparently I just. Didn't fucking post it. So here it is fly free my darling

[mbat]

i think i made a post before but i cant find it but literally its funny as hell seeing people be like 'this show curses too much!' about those two shows (which this post is NOT about istg dont start discourse) but also people are rightfully fighting back about every single websites abysmal censoring system where people arent allowed to say things like 'dead' or 'suicide' or other topics like that despite them being both basic facts of life and also important conversations to have

its especially clear on channels and accounts where they consistently talk about crime cases, or generally serious topics. i follow several channels like that on youtube, and almost every single one doesnt dare say the words that literally are the word for what theyre discussing, because their fragile sponsorships dont like it, or youtube doesnt like it, and its like. are you actually fucking kidding me. and its genuinely a shock when they actually say these words.

and i dont use tiktok very often, and when i do its usually just videos of people making art, but its hard to avoid seeing tiktoks on other social media, and how people will censor words to hell and back so that their video isnt shadowbanned or whatever those stupid words are to mean 'this video is fucked and youre fucked for making it'

im sick of seeing people have to say shit like unalive and self unaliving TO DISCUSS BASIC FACTS OF LIFE. people die. people kill themselves. yes its fucking awful and depressing and terrifying, but its beyond a joke to act like its something to hide away from.

its also extremely important that we do talk about these things, and talk about them like real people do, because of how often they happen, and how serious they are.

do you know the amount of times ive seen people unironically say the word unalive outside of these places? or people come to tumblr and they say it here because they think that you cant say those words here? its embarassing.

the internet is becoming increasingly more corporate ideal and its gross. i cannot put into words how much i hate how the internet feels like one continuous corporate website. i miss how the internet was back when i first started using it, even if it was the wild west and extremely far from a place a child shouldve been. and even then i was on an internet that wasnt anything like how it was even a decade previous to that, what would be about 20 years ago now, where the internet was even more of a wild west.

i dont like that we have to bend a knee to the wants of corporations just to exist on this thing that once felt magical. the place where every person ever has the possibility to be connected from anywhere, see and experience things they never could without it

and yet here we are not even being able to say things that people do experience every day. its just disgusting.

im not advocating that there be 0 lines to cross, theres still things that should be like 'hey maybe dont say or do that', but im talking the things that literally hurt no one.

so sure, say what you will about those shows, maybe i agree, but i really dont give a single shit about the discourse or any of that. and yeah maybe they do say shit and fuck a little bit much, but holy hell are they at least allowed to say it, and its a breath of fresh air to me, and thats also just embarassing.

[miniimapp]

ASSASSIN*TOWN AU - Character Deep Dive

Gen ;; Teens and up - Headcanons

Warnings ;; Murder ig

Proofread + edited ;; Never lol

Auth. Note ;; BOO BITCH IT'S ME !!

I literally cannot leave posting anything any longer but the HS post is taking so long and I just can't so have so assassin*town lore bitches :/

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Aaron T

T loves to make a game out of his targets

Playing with his food kinda mf

Definitely the type to sit down and go on some big villain speech tangent to his target as they're tied up and gagged or whatever

"It's nothing personal, dude. Gotta make money somehow, y'know?" comes up a lot

He loves to make his presence known to his target

Some may think it's weird that he enjoys his victims targets screams and pleads for mercy but trust him, it's simply acquired taste.

Once he's got your file and he's skimmed it once, T is off.

He's coming to getcha ass

Please remain calm during this process, keeping your arms and legs within their binding to ensure a confused T and an extended expiry date

T got into the business when he was struggling for money

He had nowhere to turn and so he became a hitman for a certain company

Now, though, he works for anyone who offers good money

T never really found a way out of this line of work and after all this time he's a little scared to try anything else

Throwing knives are his life-ender of choice, he especially likes to juggle them and freak people out

He can do this because he went through a "i'm running away and joining a circus and becoming a knife thrower because that's cool also i'm going to eat mcdonalds every day and you can't tell me what to do because i'll be in the circus" phase

You know that phase that we all go through

The one that we come out of with the skill of knife juggling and throwing

Yeah, see, i knew you'd relate !!

T mainly takes cases that require a very public death

Not that he kills in public

No, I mean that the new about this death needs to be loud and send a message

This kinds of missions require a bold and...unique style which T possesses

Although T has his own preferred style he definitely likes getting tips or hearing about others

Since Tae Young's is the complete opposite of his he really likes to learn about his

T definitely tries to takes aspects of all the other's methods and try them out to see if he finds them better

The biggest Robaire v Z instigator you've ever seen istg

T will purposely make shit up to piss one of them off and pin everything on the other

And everyone definitely knows this

But neither can pass the excuse to beat the other up

Lovingly of course

Middle child energy all day every day

But Papa Jesse™ does not overlook him

Which T is eternally grateful for

It's nice to be acknowledged and viewed as an important member of their little group

And Jesse is always there to include him and hype him up

Fun fact: T absolutely loves raspberry jam doughnuts !!

Jesse

Jesse prefers to watch over his target before striking

He'll get your file memorised and then he tries to get more personal info

Over the years Jesse's been working he's figured out the best and his favourite way of getting intel is organically, in person

Mans is so old

Because he's very charming and overall outgoing it's easy for him to worm his way into his targets lives

Jesse tends to get assignments were a careful, strategic kill is needed

He is very delicate with his work

Tip-toeing around, very careful not to rock the boat

And obviously he's had years to hone his skills

When Jesse takes missions he basically shuts off his emotions

In this line of work emotions are frowned upon and truly don't get you anywhere

Empathy is a useless trait and boy does Jesse know it

Because of his chosen method he's gotten mildly attached to targets when he'd first started out

Jesse learned the hard way to not challenge the system he'd found himself in

Play their game and no one gets hurt

You want to give your kids a good life, don't you??

Jesse's preferred weapon is a gun

A fairly quick method that doesn't require him to hang around after

Jesse doesn't necessarily enjoy any part of his process but he does find it interesting figuring each target out - what makes them tick, what buttons to push and what to stay away from

He's interested in the psychology of each and every one of his targets

Jesse initially got into this line of work for his kids

His partner left them on his doorstep and he just panicked

Jesse was barely able to support himself, how the fuck was he meant to support two kids

This is how

As the most seasoned assassin Jesse tends to look out for those with less experience and gives them tips

He doesn't see others as competition

There's no competition in a race no one wants to win, after all

Jesse definitely took Z and Tae Young under his wing the most but he looks out for all the boys and hope to be a good role model for them

Jesse usually keeps the boys away from his kids as he wants to keep the two sides of his life separate

Though on occasion the boys do get to play cool uncles and run around with the kids for a bit

He's very insecure about how good of a parent he is to his kids - Jesse's constantly worrying that he's going to corrupt them or ruin their lives by getting sent to jail or something

At his lowest points he's considered giving his kids up but at the end of the day he loves his kids more than anything and could never give them up - not unless they were in danger

Fun fact: Jesse favourite kind of jewelry is earrings and he especially loves dangly earrings

Aaron T

This man can be creepy af ngl

You will never see him coming

This bitch is silent and no sounds will be coming out of him until he's got his target on lock

He hates when people beg him and scream

Like please,,

He realises you don't want to die

No one particularly wants to die via assassin but suck it up

Deal with it, it's happening now

Z gets headaches and migraines super easily

So when people are screaming it just makes him want to shut them the fuck up even faster

Z got into the business by accident

He's been working in the industry the second longest, just after Jesse

He was young and naive

Initially Z was meant to be a bodyguard of sorts

And he was for a little while

But once he was sucked into the company he could not leave

Kinda sad but mans is being manipulated fr

Z mainly takes on people who oppose the company he works for

But there's always that one person who just doesn't make any sense

But oh well, money's money right ??

Z's weapon of choice is anything with a blade tbh but he's known to use a dagger

Z is probably the most sympathetic assassin out of them all

Don't get me wrong he's not kind, good or even nice

He really just doesn't like watching people in pain

For an assassin he's pretty squeamish

He tries his best to give every target a quick death

One that's as painless as possible

Deep inside (where he's repressed the shit out of his emotions) Z really wishes he could leave this way of life and do anything else

He probably became an assassin at the youngest age

Z definitely wanted to prove his independence by getting a job and just got unlucky

Z is incredibly grateful for Jesse

After having spent so long in the business with no support having a mentor-figure was a godsend

Robaire somehow always gets Z into competitions over their kill count that week

They get T to keep a tally

Z finds T really refreshing, after having spent so long being uniform within the industry because that's all he knew to have someone just do whatever the fuck he feels like is kinda mind-blowing

Tae's cuteness may make people melt but Z's stoic shows of affection make all the boys simply implode

Fun fact: Z hates rollercoasters with a fucking passion, especially ones that go upside down

Robaire

Robaire prefers to watch his target for a while

A couple weeks to a month usually

He keeps a firm distance from his targets and only watches over them

Robaire believes getting close to your target is idiotic when it's your literal job to make them extinct

Ahem looking at Jesse and Tae Young

Okay but while he doesn't personally agree with these methods he can acknowledge the results they bring both assassins

And he just really admires Jesse but don't tell him that

Robaire really plans out the best course of action for each of his targets

Double then triple checks the file whilst making the plan

Not that he needs to - he's got it memorised

But just in case

Robaire is someone who would do anything for his family

Even commit murder to pay back a debt

He never enjoyed his job, he despised it in fact but it was all for his family and fuck if there isn't a better cause than that...

Robaire got into the business through a family debt

His cousin was the one meant to work to return the debt on behalf of his uncle

But instead Robaire was offered last minute instead

Being who he is Robaire accepted because at the time he had no idea about his cousin and thought he was the only one who could repay the debt

And of course he'd do anything to help his family

It took years after learning the truth

And some all-nighters filled with reassurance and advice from Jesse

That Robaire finally let himself be angry at his family

He finally let himself mourn the loss of his freedom to a debt that he wasn't supposed to be paying back

At his core Robaire is just tired and missing his family

He just wants love - is that too much to ask ??

*Cue the rest of 4*TOWN starring as Robaire's chosen family !! :DD*

When they aren't squabbling or competing Robaire and Z are bonding over their shared trauma as all rivals should

They relate to each other in the way they were both coerced into the business a way too young of an age

They both find that their rivalry keeps their mind off things so even if from the outside it looks bad they both know just how good their relationship with each other is

Jesse fills a father/uncle role for Robaire

He's someone to look up to and admire

But he's also someone Robaire can come to in a time of need and curl up against as they fall asleep together

One day randomly Tae Young started giving Robaire homemade bead friendship bracelets

Robaire gave him one in return and it became almost a tradition

now they make bead bracelets together on off days bc awww

Fun fact: Robaire loves the Paddington movies - something about a small bear finding a family with humans in London tickles him and makes him go all soft

Tae Young

If silent but deadly was a person

In and out in a matter of minutes

Though he will stay behind just to make sure you stay dead

Tae's a bit of a worrier

He's scared he's going to mess up and get into trouble

He has a bit of trouble with authority figures

(No I'm not projecting)

You'd think he'd be the kindest assassin but not really

When Tae Young was first starting out he definitely cried a little bit when completing missions

He's found ways around that though

Tae realised killing people with his own two hands just wasn't working out for him

So his demise-determiner of choice is poison

Depending on the instructions within a targets file Tae will switch out slow-acting poisons for faster ones, untraceable poisons for obvious ones, and so on

His preferred method is similar to Jesse's in that he will make appearances in your life

Expect him to be a familiar and friendly face you see fairly often

But Tae's role in his target's life will never develop from there

He likes to gather intel in person, like Jesse, but he won't use only that method as it's impractical and would take months to learn anything below surface level unless he posed as a therapist or something

Leave that shit to people with too much time on their hands like Jesse

After Tae Young's gathered whatever info he needs he gets right into the main part of the mission - the assassination

If given a choice Tae personally prefers fast-acting, untraceable poisons but any will do

Tae Young got into the business a bit differently to the other boys

You see Tae was introduced into this way of life through his family, like Robaire, not because of a debt or anything like that

It's because his whole family are, have been or have some connection to assassins

The family business with a dark side if you will

Tae doesn't love his job but he figures it could be worse

He makes a fair bit of money and he has the freedom to do most things on his own terms and reject a mission if it violates his boundaries

Plus he the free time to volunteer at animal shelters so in his mind there isn't really anything better suited for him out there

But coming from a family of assassins Tae Young has access to a lot of resources the others don't have

Of course he shares what he can though

Tae Young loves to try and trick T by giving him phony tips "from his family" just to see him try them out

And he does

Every

Single

Time !!

And T always comes back with a weird story about how he somehow managed to make Tae's ridiculous advice work for him

One day Tae Young will successfully trick him...one day !!

A huge hobby of Tae's is pestering Jesse

"Jesseeeeee,, can we see the kidsss ??"

"Jesseeeeee,, can you get me a dog ??"

"Jesseeeeee,, what about a cat ??"

"But Jesseeeeee,, I really want ice cream !! Can we pleaaassseee go get some ??"

And because Jesse is a 10/10 older male figure in all the boys lives (and because no one can resist Tae's puppy dog eyes) he usually gets what he wants

Tae Young and Z definitely have quiet time together

Whether they nap, do a puzzle, watch a movie or show, doesn't matter because it's quiet bonding away from the noise (Aaron T)

And Tae loves to paint Z's nails

He tries out new nail art on Z

Z proudly shows it off - he even gets fingerless gloves just so he can show off Tae's nail art even when he's on missions - it makes Tae smile every time he sees it

Fun fact: Though Tae loves animals big and small he does have a fucking ginormous small fear of cows (yes i am projecting, don't laugh, cows are frightening af try me-)

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Okay and that's all for our latest lore dump, hopefully the next post will be the HS theatre headcanons but who knows at this point lmao

Hope you enjoyed <3

[0225pm]

this is gonna be one long ass post so pls bear with me. i just felt like i must write everything in details! today was probably the most surprising day ever for me (pun intended 😂) the night before han asked me if i had any plans or if i wanted to go anywhere on sunday of which i said, no because i really didn't have anywhere i needed to be so i asked him to plan something. he then said, "ok ah i plan but you cannot ask me any questions about whatever i plan. you just follow me only. if you ask also, i will just ignore and not answer the questions." which i agreed to!!! and i was honestly looking forward to see if he actually really did planned anything. the next day, i was in a frikin dilemma LOL. mainly because i didn't know what to wear. i thought of wearing something casual, an oversized tee with a jacket or something but i figured i might be too underdressed and for some reason i wanted to look bomb af for my man. i even put on my gold metallic eyeshadow which i usually never do and mascara!!!!! i just wanted to look cute la ok hahahaha to the point that i even asked seanna what to wear or to give me some ideas for an outfit. but i ended up just piecing my own look together - i wore this cute floral top which i got the other day at temt and my black pleated skirt. pairing it with my chucks and backpack made me look almost like a 90s high school kid or smth HAHAHAAH (what an exaggeration LOL) should have worn my choker out too but ughHh i think i may need to get a new one cus the one i have is a tad bit thick and feels uncomfortable after awhile. bc of my get-up, i felt like +1 to my self confidence!! it made me feel happy. anyway, he came over to my place to fetch me and was alr waiting for me when i came down. the first thing he said when he saw me was, "why you so prettyyyyy" FML can you imagine just how much i was bursting with excitement on the insides and how happy i was???? ofc he always do compliment me from time to time but this time it made me feel really happy because he said "i can see the effort you put into your look today"!!!!! which is true i rly did put quite a bit of extra effort than usual into picking out my outfit and make up today ^^ and those actually boosted my self confidence, it made me feel cute. but oh boy what he did on the bus made me feel all electrifying and melty wtf (can you feel two diff emotions at once bc i did!!!!) so we boarded the bus and took a seat and the next thing he said again was, "why you so prettyyyy" of which i humbly said "nooOoOooO" because i'm so shy???? wtf how long together already still so shy hahahaah. and then proceeded to sniff(?) and kiss my cheek and then a lot of skinship happened wtf i love skinship with han it makes me feel so loved omg the feeling is indescribable la if you really love someone, you will probably feel the same way i do!!!! my fav was when he kept looking at my tummy (ok i'm still actually rly shy about this even tho he said that he doesn't mind and find it cute) and then joked about how the top stretches out and became white (it's a black base top) bc of my tummy. and then i just kept like poking my tummy???????? and then he just grabbed my whole body into his arms and squished me tightly and said smth like "eeee geramnye!!!" wah fuk i rly love it when he speaks malay and go all touchy and clingy HAHAHAAHAH oh i also asked if he had alr eaten and if he still hasn't made any plans we can maybe go grab a bite first then walk around the mall or smth if we don't have any plans for the day. honest to God i don't mind not doing anything as long as i'm with him!! this is absolutely legit. we don't even have to talk or whatever as long as he's physically there for me to see and hold on to ya know what i mean? ok and then we walked towards the mrt and by this time i still don't know where we were going!!!! i kept asking but like he told me the night before, he just ignored my questions and left them unanswered. he then asked me to sit under the fan (it was blazing hot today) while he walked over to he mrt waiting area and as i observed, took out his phone (i thought hmmm maybe he's trying to search where to eat or smth) and then we boarded the train and stopped at kembangan????? which just makes me questioned him again bc why kembangan when there's nothing there at all! there are no malls and places there seems barren. again, he didn't answer and then took me to the taxi stand. by this time i was kinda trying to be patient bc it was so hot and i was perspiring and my makeup was melting and my outfit felt sticky under all that perspiration i just didn't feel cute anymore. i kinda felt like all my efforts to dress up for him was gone just like that and i blame the sun!!!!! it has been rather humid lately and i hate it sfm! and then he told me to stand under the shade while he smoked a stick and then made some calls. by this time i knew he was alr booking a grab and i demanded answers. i wanted to know why he's wasting his money on grab YET AGAIN when we could have just taken the train and save $$!!! we ended up taking the grab anyway and i kinda snapped at him inside and i felt rly sorry for it bc i can be quite a bitch when i'm hot and sweaty. and then bc he didn't wanna tell me where were we going i thought maybe i can ask the grab driver but apparently EVEN SHE WAS IN CAHOOTS WITH HAN OK like i came to a sudden realization that maybe han called her to tell her not to tell me if i asked!!!!!!!! and then she drove thru geylang area and i asked han again where we're going and this time he gave me a hint!!!!!! he said "we're going somewhere where there are lots of food" so ofc my initial thought was onekm!! bc we were nearby and then i asked him "is it onekm?" and then he said "ya how u know!!!" but ugh he lied bc the driver drove past onekm and then all of a sudden we were nearby suntec area. han tried to cover my sight bc he didn't want me to see where we were gonna end up at but i struggled (i was in an uncomfortable position) so he finally relented and then spilled the beans by pointing to a poster of yayoi kusama outside and telling me that's where we're going. AND I WAS SO SHOOKETH!!!! wtf i rly was so shocked ..... ............ it never crossed my mind, not even once throughout the whole journey that he was taking me to the art gallery to see her exhibitions. istg i was so shook i didn't know what to say to him. all i rmbr saying was "omg yayoi kusama??? you're bringing me to yayoi kusama????? it's expensive tho omg whattttttttt" and then i said smth like "noOoo let's not go and waste money it's rly expensive it's like 30 bux per entry wtf" and then he said smth like "u dw go then i go myself la" and i was like "no wth!!!!!" and when we reached there, unfortunately the tickets were all sold out ahahahahah it was rly quite unfortunate bc han took so much effort and wasted money on grabbing down but honestly i felt really fucking touched by his actions today. like all those efforts to keep it a surprise till the very end, money spent on grab bc he thought that if we take the train all the way we will be late for the exhibitions, trying to plan something even though he's a horrible planner. everything he did makes me appreciate his existence in my life even more. he's rly so boyfriend material now wtf so fucking sweet and romantic. but he was really really disappointed to find out that the tickets were all sold out to the point that he even went back down to ask the person at the counter if there's really no tickets left. he said smth like "i don't usually do this and it's not everyday that i plan smth for u but the tickets are all sold out. i should have made an online booking la fuck la" he was just blaming himself all the way and i really felt so sad for him. i wanted to cheer him up but i didn't rly know how to bc i knew how much he tried his best to make me happy today. and for that, i am really really thankful bc in the end, it's the thought that really counts!!! his mood from there on just changed :( and he suddenly became rather grouchy and masked it by saying that he was hungry. but i knew he was still disappointed by the fact that his plans was botched. OK I WILL CONTINUE PART 2 LATER WHEN I AWAKEN FROM MY SLUMBER BC ITS 4:50AM AND IM STARTING TO FEEL SLEEPY