#israel is like :)) this organization providing relief to the people we are committing genocide against is actually terrorists

[flintmcgraw]

The government of Canada did not see any evidence backing up Israel's claim that staff employed by the United Nations Relief and Works Agency (UNRWA) colluded with Hamas before suspending funding to the agency, CBC News has learned.

Government sources tell CBC that Israel still has not shared evidence with Canada to substantiate its claim that 12 employees of UNRWA were involved in some capacity in the October 7 attack on Israel by Hamas and the affiliated group Islamic Jihad.

(...)

Canada announced the suspension of all funding within hours of the U.S. announcement (x).

I don't know how many times I can keep saying that it's humiliating to be Canadian. Fucking disgusting.

[chiarrara]

It's October 7th again, and Israel and the United States of America have been committing full blown genocide against Gaza, Palestinians, and the Arab world at large for entire year now within our lifetimes.

Growing up in America, you invariably learn about the Holocaust, and in a somewhat shortsighted and somewhat oversimplified manner, your teachers ask what you would have done during these times. In an extremely shortsighted and extremely oversimplified manner we all insist we would have done something to stop it.

Now that history is repeating itself, now that we are in the belly of the beast (not at the mercy of its claws and teeth, but at it's core, providing it with fuel to continue its onslaught), the target of propaganda we've been conditioned for our entire lives, and at risk of violent suppression should we step out of line, I have felt powerless in a way I never expected to back then.

It seems when protests against Israel's genocide took off a year ago, so many people had already forgotten about the retaliation against the BLM protests of 2020. I saw so many people seemingly surprised by the reaction of the police, educational institutions, and public officials as if this wasn't a repeat of the response from less than 4 years ago. As if many of us are not still dealing with the consequences of that retaliation in the courts, in our personal and professional lives, with our physical and mental health.

It's not fair for me to feel too harshly about people just joining the fight now, when there were surely people feeling the same way in 2020 who'd been in the fight since 2014, 2012, the 90s, for decades before. Some of us feel the consequences for the rest of our lives and have to learn to fight in different ways. We rely on those joining now to fight on the front lines, even if it invariably will create more of us, the fighters who can't fight anymore. Some of us fighting through institutions or less disruptive organizing, some of us mentally and financially crippled by the state, some of us locked up, some of us dead through mysterious means.

This is all to say I feel so incredibly powerless. I don't like to talk about what I went through here, because I don't want to connect an anonymous account to my real life at all, partially because of the consequences I am still suffering. I have so much anger born from so much powerlessness. I have so much shame for not doing more. I have no money left to give, I have to think of my own still developing situation. I have no ability to protest, I have no ability to organize, I have no space in my mind to give. I am being selfish because I am fighting to survive the retaliation of the state.

In response to what I went through, I developed a reactionary belief that it isn't worth doing something that won't be effective. This is pretty contrary to the mindset of most people who organize against the trillion dollar war machine, and they're right to think differently. It is worth doing something because it needs to be done, and even a drop in the bucket is a drop more than was there before. If no one does anything, if there is no resistance, what world would we see? In the face of overwhelming tragedy, even the smallest bit of relief on the smallest scale can make a difference. To help even one person makes your efforts worth something.

I don't believe in sacrificing yourself in silence, I don't think it helps anyone. I don't believe in turning yourself into cannon fodder and being glossed over by the media as you're ground under the wheels of the war machine. I believe in collective action, I believe in disruption, I believe in resistance, I believe in the sacrifices made to get us here and the sacrifices being made right now. But I hate that so many of us will be destroyed in the name of righteousness. I hate that it will go on for years after everyone has stopped paying attention to what is happening to us. I hate that the people fighting along side us don't have the resources to protect us once the hype has died down.

I hate that people are dying and having their lives destroyed at our expense. I hate that sacrificing ourselves for them won't stop any of it from happening. I hate that people are begging us for help and many of us have little or nothing to give. I hate that awareness of complicity doesn't mean we can stop being complicit. I hate that there is no easy or simple answer for what we can do like we thought there would be if this ever happened again. I hate that not falling in line with the war machine gets it turned against you. I hate that the overwhelming response to horrific acts being committed in your name is to find a way to justify and deny them. I hate that that viewpoint is being supported so aggressively to protect the imperial war machine.

Hopelessness isn't an option, because it's the same as abandoning the victims of a genocide. I can't find it in my heart to blame anyone who can't do much to help because I feel powerless as well. I don't believe in altruism, I don't believe in unfettered righteousness, I don't believe in moral superiority. I don't believe in denying your own feelings of shame and helplessness in the face of a tragedy you're not the victim of. I believe in struggle and effort. I believe in finding spaces to work through those feelings so you don't end up turning away to spare yourself from them. Shame is not a motivator. Community support and leading by example is.

I have lost so many connections over the last couple years. I'm afraid I've lost even more here through inactivity (at the very least). I guess I don't know what to do except to keep trying, even in ways that seem too shamefully small to mean anything.