#isola that river in egypt

[isolavirtuosa]

That River in Egypt 15-21 of 21

[fanfiction] Dean / Cass

canon divergent AU from 15x19, Dean being Dean

Previous parts here.

- 15 -

“Dean!”

I was already ducking as a witch went flying over my head.

“I’ll finish the ritual, you get Sam out of here!” Patience asserted, picking up the stinky potion that Sam had been concocting and starting to chant in Latin.

I eyed my unconscious brother (Patience’s vision hadn’t quite made it on time to warn him), then attempted to haul him over my shoulder in a fireman’s carry.  “Fuck,” I breathed out, every part of my body screaming in complaint.

“Sam is too heavy for you to comfortably carry,” Cass informed me as he sent the witch flying across the room again.

“He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother,” I grunted.

“What does your familial connection have to do with Sam’s superior height and weight?” he asked, squinting at me.

“It’s a say- you know what, never mind,” I grumbled, limping my way towards the door.

Patience finished chanting and threw the potion at the witch who was trying to get up yet again from the ass-kicking that Cass was giving her.  The glass containing the potion shattered, some hinky pink smoke poured out of it, and the witch turned into a rat.

“Huh,” I said.

“Get it!” Patience demanded.

I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to ‘get it’ with a Big Foot over my shoulder, but apparently Cass was on the ball and caught it by the tail, holding the former witch up for scrutiny.

“Gross,” she complained.  “And where the hell is Cl-”

“I’m here, I’m here,” Claire declared, kicking the door in for no reason other than to make an entrance.  “The stupid witch hexed my car.”

“Well good thing we already wrapped everything up,” Patience said with a sigh.

Sam’s weight was starting to compress my spine, but suddenly he was gone.

I stared at Cass.  “I had him.”

He hoisted Sam effortlessly over his shoulder.  “It’s fine.”

I made a face at his showing off, and then turned my attention back to Claire and Patience.  “Well that was a clusterfuck.”

“Yeah, well, that’s what happens to a straightforward case when you get the Winchesters involved,” Claire said with a shrug.

“Excuse me?” I said, making a face at her.

“You heard me.”

I scoffed.

“Wasn’t Sam supposed to do the spell?” she asked, squinting at my brother’s unconscious body.

“Knocked unconscious by a… knocked-unconscious spell,” Patience said, squinting at her own wording.

“I will take care of Sam,” Cass declared, handing Claire the rat-witch.

“Cass, wait,” I said, hand grabbing his free shoulder just as he took flight.

We were suddenly back in our motel room.

I tried not to lose my cookies.

“Dean,” he said with a frown, “you should have helped the girls with the clean-up.”

“We need to talk,” I said, glaring at him.

“I need to do a…” Cass paused and frowned, “‘anti-knocked-unconscious spell’.”

“Cass.”

“Dean.”

We stared at each other.

“Come home,” I blurted out.

Cass gave me his most long-suffering sigh.  “I have my own home now.”

“That’s bull!” I snapped, irritated.  Your home is with me.

Just fucking say it, you pussy.

I didn’t say it.

Cass placed Sam on one of the beds, then started going through his duffel bag, pulling out weird-smelling herbs.

“You’re an angel living in the friggin’ suburbs, man, it makes no goddamn sense.”

“I enjoy it,” he said with a human-like shrug.

“And you don’t enjoy the bunker?” I asked snottily.

“It served its purpose,” he said, starting to mix some of the herbs in a motel coffee mug.

“‘Served its purpose’?!” I spat back at him.

“It was a wonderful home for us when we needed it, but I am at a different point in my life now,” he explained, unperturbed.  “To be straightforward, I think we’ve all outgrown it.”

I sputtered at that.

Cass spared me a glance, then shook his head, looking disappointed.

“So you’ve outgrown me?” I snarled.

That finally got him to stop being such an asshole and look a little guilty.  “Of course not, Dean.  You know I love you more than anything.”

“More than your stupid house?”

“It’s not stupid,” he said, narrowing his eyes.

“Guess that’s a ‘no’, then.”

“You are such a child.”

“I know you are, but what am I?”

“No, I said that you are a child, not me,” he said, looking confused.

“I know you are, but what am I?”

His brow furrowed.

Not that it was cute as hell or anything, or that the sheer adorableness caused some of my self-righteous anger to fade.

“Pee-wee Herman,” I offered as an explanation.

“Is that some kind of urinary tract infection?”

I tried not to laugh.

Cass smiled, eyes meeting mine before flicking back to Sam as he began with his Enochian mumbo-jumbo.

“It didn’t work,” I pointed out when Sam continued to lie there unconsciously.

“Why are you so impatient?” he grumbled at me, and almost on cue Sam popped up with a gasp.

“Where’s the witch?!” he demanded.

“Rat,” Cass offered.

“With Claire,” I added.

“Oh…” Sam said, leaning back against the headboard.  “Huh.”

“If that is all…” Cass said, moving like he was about to leave.

I grabbed his arm again.  “We’re in the middle of something.”

“It seems wrapped up to me,” he replied, eyeing my hand.

“Dammit, Cass,” I growled, finding some of that misdirected anger again.

“I should… go…” Sam commented, stumbling to his feet and still seeming a little dazed.

“I think you should rest a little longer, Sam,” Cass suggested.

Sam blinked and sat down again.

“Is he okay?” I asked, my big-brother-concern taking over for a moment.

“The effects of the spell should wear off in two to six hours,” Cass assured me.

“That seems kinda… long…”

“Let’s go outside and let Sam rest.”

All I could do was follow Cass outside, though I paused in the doorway to look back at my very disheveled-looking baby brother.  “Sammy, lay down and rest, okay?”

He gave me a vacant nod like he used to do when he was little and had a fever and would just do whatever I said, then he laid back down on the bed.

I shut the door as quietly as I could before flipping back into Angry Mode.  “Look, I’m get-”

Cass pointed to his phone that was held to his ear.  “Yes, Patience, Sam is okay.”

I started stewing.

“Can you put Claire on?” he asked, then paused.  “Hello, Claire.  No, that’s not how eyes of newt work.  No, Claire.  No.  Stop doing that.  Stop everything that you are doing and wait for me to come back.  No,” he repeated, rubbing his temples.  “I will see you shortly, goodbye.”

“I ain’t even gonna ask,” I said, watching him pocket his phone.  “So you’re going again?”

“Claire needs my assistance.”

“Oh, okay then.”

“You do not need to be so abrasive, Dean.”

“I’m abrasive?” I growled at him.  “I haven’t seen you in weeks, Cass.”

“I’ve been busy fixing up the house,” he said with a frown.  “The house that I asked you to visit, but you have declined my every invitation.”

“’Cause I ain’t gonna normalize this bullshit!  What are you even doing, Cass?  A house in the suburbs?  Ya gonna find yourself a nice little wife and settle down with your 2.5 kids and a dog?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“You don’t know?!  Then why the fuck are you doing it?!”

“Dean, you are upset, and this conversation is no longer productive.  Please go inside and take care of Sam, and I’ll go help Claire before she disrupts the space-time continuum.”

“I’m sorry this conversation isn’t productive enough for you,” I spat out.  “Here I am, trying to figure out why my…” and here I stumbled, “my… my boy… my boyfriend of three years just dumps me out of nowhere to go live his Real Housewives of Lebanon fantasy by himself.”

“Well maybe you should try listening for once,” Cass said, starting to sound annoyed.  “I don’t know how many different ways I can explain it to you.”

“English would be a good start!”

Cass had the nerve to actually throw his head back in a frustrated sigh.  “I’m not doing this with you right now.”

“Doing what?  Having a friggin’ conversation?  Taking a little responsibility?”

“I’m not going to allow you to continue… ‘guilt tripping’ me for making choices that you do not agree with,” he said.  “It’s my life, and it’s what I want.”

“A life without me,” I muttered bitterly.

“You are the one who made it very clear to me that I am not ‘Barbie’ and you are not ‘Ken’, and that we will not be living ‘happily ever after’ in my ‘Malibu Dream House’,” he growled at me.  “You keep acting as though I am the one who has put this chasm between us, when it is you issuing the ultimatums, you insisting that if it is not your way, then it is no way.”

“That’s not how it is.”

“It is exactly how it is, and Sam and I are tired of paying penance to your never-ending list of reparations.”

“What the hell does Sam got to do with it?”

Cass paused at that.  “I spoke out of turn.”

I’d been leaning against Baby, but now I pushed myself up to my full height, getting in Cass’s face.  “What the hell does Sam got to do with it?” I repeated.

He looked guilty.

Why the hell did he look guilty?

“Goddammit, Cass, tell me.”

“It’s not my place,” he said, and he looked downright pitying.

What the hell was he pitying me for?

“I need to go.”

“Don’t you dare run away.”

“Dean, you know where I live and you are welcome to come there any time,” he informed me.  “Goodbye.”

And the fucker flew away.

- 16 -

I was wasted.

I crawled over to my bed, but any attempts to actually get up onto it were quickly refuted by gravity.  I got myself into a mostly sitting position and let my head flop back against the mattress.

Fuuuck.

Everything was shit, and now I couldn’t even sleep in my goddamn bed.

My head started lolling to the side and I tried to return it to an upright position.  The attempt failed, and I found the ground getting closer and closer.

“Cass,” I grumbled into the floor.  “Cass?  Get your ass over here.”

Of course he didn’t come.

I felt very pathetic lying here on the floor, so I tried to get up again, but it didn’t work out.

“Cass, c’mon,” I slurred.  “Cass, please.”

Was he going to make me beg?

I hadn’t seen him since our fight back at the motel in Ashland however many weeks ago that was, ‘cause I sure as hell wasn’t about to go over to his place with my tail between my legs.

He could come to me.

Would he come?

He wasn’t coming.

“Please,” I begged.  “I needa talk t’ya.  ’M s’rry.”

My phone buzzed, but it was all the way in my pocket.  I had to close my eyes and rest for a moment before I managed to get it out.  Then there was the whole ‘reading while drunk’ issue.  I squinted at the notification until the letters finally formed a ‘Cass’ and something along the lines of ‘be there soon’.  Relieved, I closed my eyes again.  Needed to rest.

I startled awake, fumbling for my gun and only coming up with my phone.

There was that sound again, an ominous thumping.

“Dean?”

“Cass?” I croaked out.

The door opened slowly.

“Cass?” I repeated.

“Oh, Dean,” he sighed, closing the door behind him and approaching me slowly, almost cautiously.

“Y’r heeeere,” I breathed out.

“Of course,” he said, sitting next to me on the floor.

It took supreme effort, but I inched closer to him and managed to lift my head high enough to rest my cheek against his thigh.

He seemed to hesitate, then rested his hand in my hair like he usually did, stroking gently.

I closed my eyes again.

“Dean,” came a gentle voice, startling me awake again.

I seemed to be drooling on Cass’s pants, but I was pretty sure he wouldn’t care.

“What happened?” he asked.

“N’thn,” I mumbled.

Cass continued to stroke my hair.  “Would it be alright if I sobered you up?”

I nodded into his leg.

He pushed his grace into me, and the alcohol dissipated.

Which was pretty friggin’ awkward, seeing as how I was laying with my head on his lap.

“What happened?” he repeated, fingers still scratching soothingly into my scalp.  As soon as the dude figured out he had permission to touch me, he kind of never stopped.

“It’s nothing,” I sighed, keeping my eyes closed so I didn’t have to see how embarrassing the situation was.

Cass waited.

He was very good at waiting.

I sighed loudly.  “So Sammy’s havin’ a kid.”

Not even a stutter in the motion of his hand, because of course he already knew.

Always the last to know.

I swallowed.

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Cass finally asked.

“Yeah, sure,” I muttered.

“…how bad was the fight?”

“It wasn’t a fight,” I protested.

“However you wish to label it,” Cass said with a sigh.  “You are… out of sync.”

“I guess that’s one way a puttin’ it.”

He was giving me those stupid puppy dog angel eyes of his.

“Sam said he’s not gonna raise the kid in the life,” I blurted out.

“Is that not what you would want for the child?”

“Of course it’s what I want, it’s just not reality,” I grumbled.  “Ain’t no way a Winchester’s gonna walk around this earth without gettin’ harassed by every little thing that goes bump in the night.”

“Perhaps the child will be a Leahy.”

I snorted at that.  “You know what I mean.  We got enemies, no matter what you wanna call us.  I mean, Ben-” I started and immediately stopped.

“The gates of hell have been closed,” Cass pointed out after it was clear I wasn’t going to continue.  “Demons won’t be coming after you.”

“Okay, but who’s to say they won’t suddenly open?  And there’s other shit out there besides demons that want us dead.”

“That’s true,” he acquiesced.

“Yeah, so we gotta stay smart, we gotta stay safe, ya know?”

“And to you, the bunker is the only safe place.”

“Obviously.  It’s friggin’ god-proof.”

“Perhaps Sam is willing to take the risk if it’s to live the life he’s always wanted.”

“Risk his kid?”

“I don’t think it’s quite that simple.”

“Whatever, man, I know you two are off collaborating-”

“Dean.”

I rolled my eyes with a huff.

Cass’s hand paused, then slid from my hair to cup my cheek.  “And what does Eileen want?”

That gave me pause.  “Uh…”

“It seems to me like this is a decision between Eileen and Sam, not you and Sam.”

I scowled up at him.

He gently moved his thumb along my cheekbone.  “You’ll be a great uncle, though,” he said like it was a fact.

I wasn’t so sure.

“You already love this child so much,” he assured me.

I huffed out a breath at that, but it was true.

Cass leaned down, brushing his lips against my forehead.

That just made me feel completely pathetic and I couldn’t help but whine his name, followed by a pitiful, “stay.”

Cass sat up again, the stroking motion of his hand resuming.  “I can’t.”

I breathed in sharply, trying not to… whatever it was I was about to do.

“Come to my place, Dean,” he requested softly.  “Just for tonight.  Please?”

“It’s the middle of the damn night.”

“And…?”

I pulled away from his touch and sat up, pressing my back to the bed.  “You’re already here, Cass, why can’t you just stay?”

“I believe your exact words were, ‘if you leave, then don’t even think about coming back’?” Cass mused.

“You know I didn’t mean it,” I muttered irritably.

“Yes, I did know that,” he agreed.  “And yet you still felt the need to say it, Dean.  Felt the need to keep up the pretence.”

“Cass-”

“I’m not coming back here,” he informed me, rising to his feet.  “So if you want to see me, you have my address.”

“Dammit, Cass.”

He looked down at me, unimpressed.

I always did this, and it was so fucking pointless.

So I made a different choice.

“You’re driving,” I muttered, pushing myself to my feet.  Cass might’ve de-drunkified me, but now I was a bit hungover and I didn’t want to risk Baby with my potentially shitty driving.

Cass blinked owlishly at me.

I opened the door and started shuffling off towards the garage.

“Dean?” he called after me, confused.

Was it that weird that I was doing what he asked?

I didn’t say anything and kept moving forward.  When we got to the garage, I tossed Cass the keys and got in the passenger seat.

He still looked confused as he sat down next to me.

“Let’s go see the Malibu Dream House,” I said, staring out the window.

“It’s in Lebanon…”

“Just drive, sunshine.”

I could feel his smile without having to look.

So he drove.

- 17 -

“You’re really in the ‘burbs, huh?” I marveled, looking around at all the manicured lawns.

“Yes, Dean,” Cass answered perfunctorily, pulling the garage door shut behind him and joining me in the driveway.

“Can’t really see the stars too good,” I commented.

“Did you message Sam?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes.  “Yes, mom.”

“He will appreciate that,” he said.  “He gets worried when he wakes up and you’re not there.”

“Sounds a little Single White Female.”

Cass squinted at me.  “So are you suggesting that perhaps a bit of distance would be healthy?”

I frowned.

Cass just shrugged and went up the walkway to the porch.

I followed, taking a seat on the swing.

It squeaked loudly.

“I don’t know how to fix that,” he said, sitting next to me.

“I’ll get ya some WD-40 in the morning.”

“How are some letters and numbers going to fix my swing?”

I turned to him, feeling myself grinning.  “Just trust me, I’ll take care of it.”

Cass started to smile back.  “Okay.”

Were we making up?

I wanted to make up.

I stretched my arm along the back of the swing, hoping Cass would lean into it.

Instead, he turned his face towards the sky.  “There are still a few stars to see.”

“I guess they’re not so bad,” I said with a shrug, my eyes tracing the Big Dipper.

“I like it here,” Cass said softly.

I breathed out a long breath, trying not to snap at him.  I was all evolved and crap now.

“Anywhere that isn’t where I am,” I muttered instead.  ‘Cause that sounded tough and not completely insecure.

Cass leveled me with his most exasperated expression.  “You are in fact, as Claire would say, ‘literally’ here with me, Dean.”

I glared out at the sky.

“I long for you,” he confessed softly.

I rolled my eyes and tried not to be embarrassed for him, which is why my cheeks were getting red.

“And I would do anything for you,” he continued in a similarly cheesy vain.

“Ya gonna come back to the bunker then?”

“…but I won’t do that.”

We were both quiet, until I finally had to ask, “did you just ‘Meatloaf’ me?”

“What does ground meat have to do with anything?”

I turned to stare at him.

That smug-ass angel knew exactly what he was saying.  He caught my glare and admitted, “I did ‘Meatloaf’ you.”

“Stop being a smart-ass,” I complained.

“But it’s your favorite quality of mine,” he teased, oblivious.

He was so close, but it was like some wall had gotten thrown up between us.  I looked at him helplessly.

His eyebrows scrunched together, his own face taking on a panicked look, and suddenly he was catching my cheeks in his hands, pulling me closer.  “Dean, my beloved, please…”

“Please what?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, averting his eyes.

“Cass?”

“I’m not going to give in to you anymore.”

“What?” I asked, my voice cracking a little.

He sighed, taking his warm hands away and standing up.  “It’s late.  You need to get some rest.”

“Hey,” I complained, catching his wrist and trying not to panic.  “What did you mean by that?”

He chewed on his bottom lip, a weirdly human habit that I hadn’t seen him do before.  “Just as I said,” he finally decided.  “As much as I long for you, I can no longer simply acquiesce to your petulant demands.”

Cass apparently longed for me.  So fucking cheesy.

I couldn’t look him in the eye.  “I’m not petulant,” I complained in a tone that definitely wasn’t petulant.

“You are being ‘peak’ Dean right now,” he informed me.

“Screw you,” I muttered.

He sighed loudly and unlocked the front door.  “Come on.”

I briefly considered staying outside freezing on the porch before following him in.

“This is the living room,” he explained, and it’s a good thing he did, because there was literally nothing in the room but a big book shelf full of books.

“Dude, ya ever think of getting, I dunno, a couch or something?” I scoffed.

“I haven’t gotten around to it,” he said, unbothered.  “Here is the kitchen.”

The kitchen actually looked nice, the pots and pans hanging over the island kinda like in the bunker, and a cozy four-seater table set near the window.  “Not bad.”

“The bathroom is this door on the left,” he continued, giving me a knowing look.

He’d sobered me up, but he hadn’t emptied my bladder.

“And my room is at the end of the hall,” he concluded.  “Obviously I do not sleep so you are free to use my bed.”

“That was the most unsexy offer to sleep in your bed that I’ve ever heard,” I muttered, opening the door to the bathroom and quickly shutting it behind me.  I groaned in relief as soon as things started flowing.

The light had been left on in the bedroom, and there was one of my old t-shirts and some wookie pajama pants that I’d given to Cass neatly folded at the end of the bed.

“Good night, Dean,” Cass called from down the hallway, probably in the living room.

“Night,” I replied, tugging on the pajamas and dumping my clothes on the chair by the door.  I slid in between the sheets, expecting them to be musty from disuse, but actually…

I nestled into the pillow, breathing in Cass, and then I was out.

- 18 -

“Good morning, Dean,” Cass greeted me cheerfully as I shuffled into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes.

I did a doubletake.  Then I found myself grinning.  “Sweetheart, ya don’t gotta wear an apron to make cereal,” I pointed out.

Cass looked down at his ‘kiss the cook’ apron, then flicked his eyes up to meet mine.  “You’d be surprised.”

“Nah, I probably wouldn’t,” I said, biting back a laugh.  He could be weirdly clumsy sometimes, and he didn’t belong anywhere near a kitchen.  “You made coffee?”

“Of course,” he said, pouring me a cup with a flourish.  Some of it spilled over the rim.

“Really puttin’ that apron to work, huh?”

“Actually, I never spill anything on the apron itself,” he explained.

I snorted, accepting my mug and taking a sip.  “Not bad.”

“I am capable of brewing coffee, Dean.”

“Ehh,” I said, earning myself a Very Annoyed Look.  I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out of me.

Cass sighed.  “It is difficult to stay angry with you when you personify joy like that, even if it is at my expense.”

“Then don’t stay mad,” I pointed out, feeling my cheeks warm.

He shook his head at me, pouring the milk into the cereal bowl and carrying it over to the table.  “I hope this breakfast is to your satisfaction.”

“Looks like you slaved over it all morning,” I said, accepting the bowl and digging in.  “Mm, good cereal-to-milk ratio.”

“You’re a brat,” he scolded me, taking a seat on the other side of the table.

“I’m complimenting you.”

“Sarcasm isn’t complimentary.”

“Says you,” I said with a shrug, shoveling more cereal into my mouth.

“You’re a terrible house guest,” he pointed out.  “Did you sleep well?  The mattress hasn’t remembered you yet.”

“Yet, huh?” I murmured with a mouth full of cereal that probably took away from the flirtatious tone I was intending.

“I would like you to stay here more often,” Cass replied sincerely.

I swallowed the rest of my cereal.  I plunked the bowl back down on the table.  I looked out the window.  I was running out of ways to avoid the conversation.

“You don’t have to,” he finally said when it became apparent that I wasn’t going to answer.

“You’re not gonna come home, are you?” I asked quietly, resigned.

“The bunker is not my home.”

I took in a sharp breath, feeling like I’d been sucker-punched.

“I guess it won’t help if I say that you are my home,” he said, reaching out to touch my hand.

I pulled it away.

Cass stood up abruptly, stomping over to the sink and dumping the remains of his breakfast down it.

I looked down at my hand.

I looked at Cass’s turned back, vibrating with anger.

I had to stop doing this shit.

I just didn’t know how.

Maybe if I just told him that.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I croaked out.

Cass sighed, but at least he stopped vibrating.

“I just wanna fix things, okay?” I said.  “I know all I ever do is make things worse, but I wanna fix this.  I just can’t get outta my own damn way.”

“I am aware.”

“Cass, tell me what to do, man.  Tell me what I gotta do to make this right.”

He turned around to face me, head tilting slightly.

I rubbed my mouth anxiously.  “Do I gotta move in here with you?”

“No,” he said.  “I’d like you to, but only if you actually want to.”

“And there’s no chance you’d-”

“No.”

“Cass.”

He waited.

“Do ya need a commitment?” I asked, clutching my spoon a little tighter than necessary.  “Ya need me to swear off flirting?”

“I don’t ask for the impossible.”

“Okay, well, whaddya want, a ring?” I asked flippantly.

Cass went very silent.

No, he wasn’t…

The angle of his head tilt intensified.

He was really thinking about it.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit-

“Yes,” he said suddenly, “I think that I would like a ring.”

“Ya lookin’ for something in a princess cut, or…?” I tried to joke, my tone sounding scared and desperate even to my own ears.

“If you’re not genuinely offering…”

I tried to swallow my pride.  “I’m… I’m not not offering.”

He still wasn’t giving me anything.

Fuck, I just had to do this.  “Honey, if you want a ring I will get you a ring.”

“You’re not just saying that?”

What was I getting myself into?

But it was for Cass, so I shook my head.  “I’m committed, okay?  To you,” I clarified.

He stared me down for another uncomfortable moment, then was suddenly back at the table, holding out his hand to me.

I took it this time.

“I’m not trying to force you into something,” he said slowly.

“I know,” I assured him.

“It’s just… I felt as though you’d been making so much ‘progress’ before I asked you to move here with me,” he continued.  “I thought that you would be ‘ready’, and when you were not, perhaps I was a bit resentful.  Of course your typical overreaction of telling me to never come back did not help matters-”

“I’m sorry.”

Cass closed his mouth mid-sentence.  Then he squeezed my hand.  “We are not always the best at communication.”

“You’re includin’ yourself in that?”

He nodded.  “It’s not only you, Dean.  From the night we first made love- stop making that face and listen, please.  I knew it was wrong to continue sexually liasing with you when you were so uncertain about your sexuality and about our relationship.  But it made me feel so connected to you, so I... so I was selfish, and I continue to be selfish every time that I keep my mouth shut in order to keep the peace.”

“Honey, I dunno if I really get what you’re sayin’,” I confessed, still holding his hand tight and not being terrified.

“I know,” he said, lifting up our laced hands and pressing a kiss to the back of mine.  “I can’t ever truly convey to you how important you are to me, how essential you are to my very being.  And yet sometimes being with you is the loneliest I have ever felt.”

Well that was a punch in the gut.

“I know it’s hard to hear, but I need you to hear it,” he said firmly.  “You can be very sensitive-”

I tried to scoff and it came out more like a strangled sob.

Cass was giving me puppy dog eyes, and I could see him struggling, wanting to comfort me.

I took a breath and let it out.  Fine, I was fucking sensitive.  But I could control it.  I didn’t need to spiral about how I made Cass feel the friggin’ loneliest he ever felt.  This was fine.  Everything was fine, and I was going to just shut up and listen.

Cass took a breath of his own.  He slid my hand to his cheek, pressing into it.  “You’re a sensitive person, Dean.  And Sam and I, we’ve… we’ve done some things in the past that have… left their mark on you.  So I understand why you don’t react well when you perceive that Sam and I are ‘plotting’ behind your back, or that I am ‘running away’ from you.  And I think… well, I won’t speak for Sam, but I feel guilty about some of the things I’ve done in the past, and so it makes me hesitant to address difficult topics with you.”

“Whaddya mean?” I asked.

“I mean that... sometimes… I cannot fault you for your extreme reactions, and perhaps I even… I deserve it.”

“Jesus, honey, no,” I said, shaking my head.  “We gotta stop keepin’ score, okay?  And blamin’ ourselves for stupid shit from the past.”

“So you are also going to stop doing that?”

“Yeah, yeah, pot, kettle, all that,” I sighed, cradling his cheek.  “I need you, Cass.  So if I gotta put a ring on it and start comin’ around here more, then that’s what I’m gonna do.”

“And we’re going to talk openly and honestly about our feelings?”

“Jesus.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“We can… set a timer.  Ya know, one minute intervals of feelings.”

“Followed by one minute intervals of sexual favors?”

“You are filthy, you know,” I pointed out.  “…but only one minute?”

“It was your idea,” he said with a shrug, his eyes staring into mine all soulfully for someone being kind of a lech at the moment.

“Can we make up already?” I blurted out.

“We’re working on it.”

“We’re working on it,” I repeated.  And sure, I was probably gonna fuck it up.

But maybe…

Maybe I wanted to try.

- 19 -

I slid out from under Baby, wiping my hands on my jeans.  I went to the garage to get the engine oil, then came back to finish up the oil change.  I was just wiping off the dipstick when some random dude with a golden retriever started talking to me from the end of the driveway.

“So you’re Mr. Impala.”

“Guess I been called worse,” I said, putting down the hood.

“Drives my wife crazy, she’s always rantin’ about the environment and the noise and the children,” he said with a chuckle.  “Don’t know what she’s gonna do when I get my ‘67 Camaro running.”

“No shit?” I asked.  “That’s gotta be a thing of beauty.”

“Yeah, if it only ran,” he said, shaking his head sadly.  “I’m Dave Thompson, from across the street.”

“Dean Winchester,” I said, taking the few steps down the driveway and shaking his hand.

“Nice to finally meet you,” Dave said, giving me a surprisingly firm handshake for a guy in a mock turtleneck.  “You must be Castiel’s-”

“Yeah,” I said, and okay, maybe I should have let him finish the thought, because now I was apparently Cass’s belonging.  “And who’s this guy?” I asked, wanting to abort and immediately being drawn to the fluffy drooly creature that didn’t understand awkwardness.

“This is Josiah,” Dave said, giving the retriever a pat on the head.

He gave a little bark, but he licked my hand when I held it out to him, so I went in for the ear scratch and immediately got myself a new friend for life.

I could feel myself grinning like an idiot as I crouched down in front of him, but hey, dogs were awesome.  “We had a dog for a while, but it turned out ‘he’ was a ‘she’, and she ended up giving birth to a litter of puppies.  Couldn’t keep ‘em all and didn’t want ta separate ‘em from their mom, so we found her a new home.”

“That’s too bad,” Dave started out sympathetically, but then he tilted his head in confusion (which was not as endearing as it was on Cass).  “Wait, you thought your female dog was male…?  I mean, didn’t you notice…”

“Listen, man, I ain’t the dickmaster general,” I said, earning a snort from Dave.  “I just rub the ears and give the beast its food.”

“Fair enough,” he said agreeably.  “Well, Josiah here is definitely all dude.”

“Friendly dude,” I said, grinning as he licked me in the face.  I gave him one more thorough ear rub before standing back up straight.

“He really likes you,” Dave marveled.  “He doesn’t usually take to strangers so quickly.”

“I smell like bacon,” I confided in him.

Dave cracked up.  “So that’s the secret.”

I just grinned, feeling oddly at ease with this suburban dog dad.

“Dean!”

We both turned to face the house, watching as Cass scrambled out the front door.

“Dean!” he repeated more urgently.

“What’s up, Cass?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Hello, Dave,” he said, sparing a glance for his neighbor.  “Hello, Josiah,” he added, making sure to greet the dog.

“Hey, man,” Dave greeted him.  “Finally got to meet your partner.”

“That is wonderful,” Cass said, clearly not even listening.  “Dean, the Alexa is plotting again.”

I bit my lip, trying not to grin and failing miserably.  “Yeah, honey?  She pickin’ on you?”

“This is hardly a laughing matter,” he scolded me.  “Why would Jack unleash such evil on us?”

“Pretty sure he said it was a Father’s Day gift?”

“I know that gifts are things that you are supposed to keep, and I have tried utilizing it to the best of my ability, but I am at my wit’s end”

“What has Alexa done now?”

“I asked her to set a five minute timer.”

“Okay.”

“She set five one-minute timers.”

“Okay.”

“So I told her to ‘cancel all timers’ and to set a ‘five minute timer’.”

“I think I see where this is going.”

“She will not stop ringing, Dean, no matter how many times I request that she ‘cancel all timers’.  They just keep going off, to the point that I cannot accept that there were actually that many timers set to begin with.”

“So you think she’s intentionally fucking with you.”

“Yes,” he breathed out, exasperated.

“And you need a big, strong man to wrangle her into submission?”

Cass squinted at me.  “Yes, Dean, a big, strong man to turn off the robot speaker.”

“Sounds like I’m the man for the job,” I said, waggling my eyebrows at him.

He huffed out a sigh.

Usually, this was when I leaned in to give him a quick, affectionate kiss.

Was it okay?  In front of Dave?  In front of Dave’s golden retriever with the weirdly biblical name?

In front of Dave’s mock turtleneck?!

I leaned down, giving Cass a little peck on the lips.  “I just gotta clean up the driveway a little, and then I’ll be right in.”

“Thank you,” he replied with a nod.  “I will ‘hold down the fort’ until you arrive.”

“Good luck,” Dave offered.

“I will need it,” Cass said solemnly.  “Goodbye, Dave.  Goodbye, Josiah.”

I watched Cass go back up the walkway because he was wearing jeans and it was a good look.  Also, I didn’t want to gauge Dave’s reaction to the all the homosexual activity going on in his neighborhood.

"Well that was a disgusting display.”

I whirled around to face Dave, ready to be angry now that my worst fears were realized, only to find him grinning at me in a friendly way.

“People our age aren’t supposed to still be that in love,” he said with a snort.

“Huh?” I said, rubbing my nose.

“Wish the missus would look at me like that besides Valentine’s Day and birthdays.”

I wasn’t sure who he’d caught looking at who, but my shoulders relaxed and I grinned back.  “What can I say, we still got it.”

Josiah gave a cheerful bark.

“He gets it,” I said with a snort, crouching down to give him one last thorough pet.  “Well, I better get in there before Alexa takes Cass behind the bleachers and steals his lunch money.”

“Technology,” Dave said with a middle-aged shake of the head.  “Hey, so you’re going to be around here more, right?  The wife’d love to have you both over for dinner some time.”

“Yeah,” I said, trying not to fiddle with my ring and failing.  “Yeah, uh… I’ll be around and uh… Cass’d like that.”

“Alright, see ya around, man.”

I cleaned up all the oil change gear, setting it back in the garage and pressing the button to put the door down.  I pushed open the door to the house, and was immediately greeted by the sound of a timer.

“Alexa, stop timer!” Cass growled with all his angelic might.

I bit my lip.

“Alexa, stop all timers!  End all timers!  Terminate!”

I came up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist.  “Time for the big gun?”

He twisted his head slightly so he could squint at me.  “The big gun that’s going to yell at the robot until he gets so frustrated that he just yanks her cord out of the socket?”

Okay, yeah, that sounded like a pretty likely scenario.  “So you don’t want me to fix it?”

Another timer went off.

Cass sighed loudly.  “Please use your big strong man powers to make it stop.”

“Alexa, stop timer.”

“So you’re just going to do exactly what I’ve already done thirteen times?” he grumbled at me.

I nibbled on the shell of his ear.  “You gonna be a smartass here?”

“Well, I am very smart,” he hummed, clearly enjoying my ministrations.  “And I have an impeccable ass.”

I snorted at that.  “Impeccable?”

“Do you prefer ‘immaculate’?”

“Immaculate?” I sputtered out, cracking up.

Another timer went off.

“Alexa, stop all timers,” I wheezed out.

Another timer went off just to spite me.

“Alexa, cancel timer.  Cancel all timers for all time.  Just shut up.”

“Sorry, I didn’t get that,” Alexa replied.

“Sonuvabitch.”

“Dean, please save me from the big scary Echo,” Cass requested, not helping matters with all his sass.

Another timer went off.

“I'm gonna fuckin' cook you, and I'm gonna fucking eat you!” I growled.

“That doesn’t seem like an appropriate solution,” Cass pointed out unhelpfully, with a complete and utter lack of appreciation for John McClane quotes.

Alexa and I continued to trade barbs for a while, until I finally gave up and yanked her cord out of the socket.

“Thank you, my love,” Cass said, giving me a smooch on the cheek.

“Anytime,” I said.  “But whadda we do with this beast?” I asked, twirling the cord around my finger.

“I hear attics are an excellent storage place for unwanted things that cannot be thrown away,” he said, taking the Echo from me.  “I never understood why humans would need such a place, but I think I may now know.”

“Still think Jack was fuckin’ with you when he got that thing,” I commented as we moved towards the attic.

“Jack is a good boy,” Cass protested.

“He’s a Winchester.”

Cass smiled at that.  “I think he meant well by it.”

“Why do people need robots to turn on their lights?  Ain’t we got perfectly good hands to do that?”

“Why do people need vehicles to transport them when they have perfectly good feet?”

“You take that back.”

Cass just hummed in amusement as he climbed up the ladder to the attic.  He looked around when he reached the top, then held a hand down to me and I passed him the Echo.  “Goodbye, Alexa.  You shall not be missed.”

“Hasta la vista, baby,” I agreed, wrapping an arm around Cass’s shoulder after he stepped down from the ladder.  “Hey, Dave and his wife wanna have us over for dinner.”

“That sounds nice,” Cass said agreeably.

“Are we a suburban married couple?”

“Pretty much.”

“Huh.”

Cass kissed me on the cheek and we went back to the living room to watch a movie.

The fire alarm going off let us know why Cass had set the damn timer in the first place.

“Take out from the Chinese place?” I suggested

“Take out from the Chinese place,” Cass agreed, tossing out the burnt dinner.

- 20 -

“Mornin’, honey,” I mumbled as I felt my cheek getting attacked by smooches.  “Jesus, Cass, it’s a little early for all that-” I started to say, then blinked my eyes open.

Definitely not Cass.

The little puppy stared into my eyes, then gave a happy bark and resumed licking my face.

“Hey, buddy, who are you?” I asked, picking the dog up and resting him on my chest as I gave him a thorough pet.

“Surprise?” Cass offered, standing in the doorway.

“This my birthday present?” I asked, entranced by the soft red fur and the soulful brown eyes.

“Yes, I… do you like her?” Cass asked hesitantly.

“Oh, it’s a ‘her’?” I asked, happy to avoid another ‘why is my male dog giving birth on the kitchen floor’ kind of situations.

Cass was still looking unsure.

“I love her,” I informed him.

“It was Jack’s idea.”

That gave me pause.  “This another Alexa situation?”

“Jack told me that he thought the Alexa would help us bond.”

“Is that what the little shit said?” I scoffed.

Cass frowned.

“I’m joking,” I said quickly, flashing him an apologetic look before turning back to my new best girl.  “Does she have a name?”

“I thought you should name her.”

I nodded.  “Well, I ain’t got no clue yet, so let’s just call her Rex.”

“Rex?” he asked incredulously.

“She’s a happy girl, isn’t she?” I observed as she started licking my face again, but this time more slowly and affectionately.

“Yes, I selected her very carefully.”

“Good job, sweetheart.  You gonna join us here, or what?”

“If I’m not intruding.”

I caught the little quirk to his grin, and I couldn’t help but grin back.  “There’s enough Dean to go around.”

“How… generous,” he said, lifting up the sheets and curling into bed next to me, resting his cheek on my shoulder while I played with the dog.

“She’s a Shiba Inu,” he told me.  “They’re hunting dogs.  Very loyal.”

I stuck a finger in the ring of his t-shirt and tugged him up higher until our lips could meet.  “Thank you,” I breathed into his mouth.

“Of course,” he breathed back.

The puppy barked, annoyed at being interrupted, and reclaimed me for herself.

Cass huffed out an annoyed sigh.  “Is this how things are going to be now?”

“Yep, you’ve been replaced.”

“Hmph.”

I pressed a kiss to the top of his head as he settled back into the crook of my neck, hand draped possessively across my stomach.  “Cass honey?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“Where’s she gonna live?” I asked quietly.  I could feel my insides starting to melt a little as she dropped her head between her paws and seemed to fall asleep on my chest, but I was also starting to feel the anxiety creep in.

“She’s yours, Dean,” Cass offered.  “She is welcome to stay here any time.  You can keep her at the bunker with you if you wish.  I will help you with any arrangement that you desire.”

Thing was, I rarely slept at the bunker anymore, even if Eileen and I were there most days, doing the Bobby thing.  The less I was on the road, the more the bunker was starting to be ‘work’ and Cass’s was starting to be...

“I didn’t mean to put pressure on you,” Cass murmured, taking my hand in his.

I’d been fidgeting with my ring again.  “It’s not… you don’t gotta…” I trailed off, not really sure where I was going.

He just held my hand and waited.

“Maybe uh…” and Jesus friggin’ Christ was Winchester pride a bitch, “maybe she could stay here.”

“I’d like that,” he said, putting my hand back on my stomach and carefully petting the sleeping dog.  “I must admit, I’ve grown attached to her these last few days, taking care of her with Jack as we waited for your birthday.”

“Okay,” I said, hoping to leave it at that and for Cass not to notice when suddenly all of my things were in his closet and I was sleeping here seven nights a week instead of five.

But Cass’s eyes were on me.

He knew.

“MaybeIcouldstayheretoo,” I breathed out in a rush.

“I’d like that even more,” he said, beaming with sincerity.

“Okay,” I said.

We laid there for a while, me and the pup mostly snoozing while Cass cuddled us both, but then she was awake and suddenly tearing down the hallway.

“I thought she’d never leave,” Cass deadpanned before putting the moves on me.

“The door’s open,” I pointed out between pants.

Cass slammed the door shut with a flick of his wrist.

“Tryin’ ta get me hot and bothered?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows at him.

“Yes,” he growled, attacking my neck with a ferocity that was probably gonna need a little splainin’ at the party later.

“Sweetheart,” I hummed, trying to not get lost in the thing he was doing with his teeth and kind of losing the plot.  “Sweetheart,” I repeated, “you’re uh… mm, really goin’ to town there…”

He paused, looking up at me contritely.  “I may have become a bit overly amorous.”

“Jealous?”

He squinted at me.  “Are you asking me if I am jealous of the dog that I myself purchased for you?”

“Well are ya?”

“I feel overwhelmed and elated that you are willing to move in with me,” he explained.

So that wasn’t really a topic I wanted to linger on.

Cass seemed to read it on my face, his expression suddenly anxious.  “Dean, did I push you?  Is this not-”

“No, honey,” I cut him off.  Honesty, transparency.  This was how I made our relationship work and didn’t end up losing Cass forever.  So why was it so damn difficult to make my mouth move?  “I wasted so much time,” I finally breathed out.

Big blue eyes stared into mine questioningly.

“It’s hard for me to say what I want.”

Cass nodded knowingly.

“And ta admit when I’m… ya know, wrong.”

He smiled at that, fondly amused.

“But uh… you and me?  Here?  I want this, okay?”

He nodded again.

I sat up, forcing Cass to back up before pulling him close into a hug.

He hugged me back just as fiercely.

Then he started getting frisky again, because Cass was a friggin’ horndog.

Not that I minded.

I bit my lip, fingers digging into whatever they could get, when there was a scratching at the door, followed by a very sad, very lonely bark.

Cass glared up at me from where his mouth was otherwise occupied.

“We can’t just leave her out there,” I panted.  Nothing killed a boner like a crying baby.

“Dean, we are… in flagrante delicto,” he said, sounding scandalized.

“Yeah, but… cute puppy.”

“Is this going to be a regular thing?” he asked, frowning.  Because Cass was definitely a friggin’ horndog, no matter how much Sam tried to claim that I was the corrupting influence.

“Probably,” I said, giving him a very wet smooch on the cheek before pushing him away so I could get up and open the door.

The puppy gave a delighted bark and started circling my legs.

Cass looked annoyed.

I gestured down at my flagging but still slightly interested dick.  “Where were we?”

Now he looked downright scandalized.  “I am not going to blow you in front of this innocent creature.”

I shrugged.  “Your loss.”

He squinted at that.  “You were the one who specifically requested, ‘as many blow jobs as can be performed in 24 hours’ for your birthday.”

I crouched down to give my girl a good pet.  “Yeah, and I haven’t even gotten one yet.”

“You are being very frustrating right now,” Cass growled at me.

I shot him a flirtatious grin.

“Deaaaaan.”

Okay, so maybe I was a little bit of a corrupting influence, but it was my party and I could get blown if I wanted to.

And obviously I enjoyed winding Cass up.

“I regret getting you that pet,” he grumbled at me, making an unhappy exit from the bedroom.

“Don’t listen to him, girl,” I assured the puppy.  “He’s gonna love you almost as much as I do.”

She wagged her tail at me.

Cass stuck his head back in the door, glowering.  “You are already on an ‘I love you’ basis with this creature?”

“Mm-hm,” I said, letting the dog lick my face.

“Do you know how long it took me to get an ‘I love you’?”

“Too damn long,” I told him sincerely.

That gave him pause.

I thought I might try being sincere for a little longer.  “But I can say it easier now.  ‘Cause of you.”

“Dean,” he said in that way of his that said so much more.

“Love you.”

It was like he was glowing from freakin’ happiness.  “I love you, too.”

The puppy barked happily.

“And baby makes three…” I commented.

Cass’s brow furrowed.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” I said, giving the dog a last pat and standing up.  “Coffee?”

“It will be ready in… 97 seconds,” he informed me.

“Perfect.”

- 21 -

“See, now that we got this steak all beautifully marinated, we gotta get it on the grill,” I explained to Maura, shifting her a little higher on my hip as I used my free hand to pick up the tongs.  “It’s all in the wrist.”

She cooed her agreement.

“Dean, do you want me to take her?” Eileen asked, holding her arms out to her daughter.

“Nah, I’m good,” I said, carefully lining the steaks up on the grill.

“Unca,” Maura agreed, tightening the grip of her little hands on my shirt.

“She’s a woman of refined taste,” I explained.

Eileen rolled her eyes.  “Wow, Maura wants to stay with the man who spoils her rotten, what a surprise.”

“It’s an uncle’s job.”

“Do not give her any sugar.”

“Of course not,” I lied.

“I’m watching you,” she said, pointing at her eyes and then at me.  “Be good for Unca,” she added, giving the baby a kiss on the head.  “I’m gonna try and get Daddy to stop checking his phone every five seconds.”

“Good luck with that,” I said with a snort, before turning back to my work.  “Okay, now we close the lid.”

Honey came running up, giving me a greeting bark.

“Unca,” Maura insisted, pointing at the dog.

I airplaned her down to the ground, keeping a hold on her waist as she giggled and pet the dog.

Honey tried to jump on her, so I airplaned her back onto my hip.

Maura giggled.

“Honey, how many times I gotta tell ya not to jump on my girl here?” I scolded her, but I was pretty sure Honey was laughing, too, the way she was barking and running around my legs.  “Oh, hey, I love this song,” I announced, shifting Maura up closer to my shoulder so we could dance .  “Hey hey mama, said the way you move, gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove.”

My niece shrieked with delight, because she did indeed have refined taste and knew that Zepp totally rocked.

“Oh, hey, baby girl, you hear that sound?”

She peered up at me curiously.

“Listen carefully,” I said tilting her closer to the grill.  “Oh, yeah, they’re gonna be gorgeous.”

She pointed at the grill.

“Exactly,” I said, lifting the lid.  “Whoo-ee, lookit these beauties.”

Maura babbled appreciatively as I lined the steaks up on the plate.  “Hey, Sammy, can you make yourself useful and take these to the table?”

“Not now, Dean,” he whined, still staring at his phone.

I looked at Maura and shook my head.  “It’s a good thing you take after your mom.”

She grinned a big gummy grin at me.

“I got them,” Jody said, taking the plate from my hand.  “Damn, Winchester, these smell incredible.”

“Made my own rub,” I told her with a wink.  “Where’s Unca Cass, I’m ready for those burgers.”

As if on cue (but really from supernatural angel hearing), Cass pushed open the sliding door and approached the grill with a platter of burgers.

“Thanks, darling,” I said, setting the platter next to the grill.  “Where ya been?”

“Entertaining our guests,” he said, then shot a glance at Sam.  “Since the guest of honor does not seem to be up to performing the task.”

I snorted at that.  “Well, at least everyone’s gonna eat well,” I said, lining the burgers up on the grill.  “Can you grab me a beer?”

“I suppose,” he said, moving towards the cooler by the picnic table.

I watched him go, my eyes glued to his ass as he crouched down to open the cooler.  Those jeans were just painted on.  I nodded appreciatively.

“You’re too old to be ogling,” Claire informed me as she sidled up beside the grill.

“The man has a great ass,” I shot back at her.

“Since I have the same genes, thanks, I guess?”

“You’re welcome,” I told her magnanimously.  I eyed the burgers and tried flipping one.  They still needed a little more time.  “You see that, baby girl, you want the bottom a little browner before you flip them.”

Maura chewed on her bib, but I was sure she was listening.

“Here you are,” Cass said, pulling the cap off the bottle with his bare hand before handing the beer to me.

“Thanks,” I said, stealing a smooch.  He knew random acts of inhuman strength got me hot and bothered.

And then Maura leaned in and kissed Cass on the cheek, and my heart just about damn melted.

“You givin’ Unca Cass kisses?” I cooed at her, and we rubbed noses together as she giggled.  “Okay, gotta flip the burgers.”

“Oh, crap, the results are in,” Sam announced, looking panicked.  “What if I didn’t… I can’t look.”

Eileen took the phone from him.  “I’ll look.”

I looked at my oaf of a brother, then at his adorable daughter, and asked her, “can you go to Dada?  He needs some emotional support, ‘cause he’s, ya know, fragile.”

“Dada,” she said with a solemn nod.

“Sammy, take Maura,” I said, holding her out to him.

“Hey, pumpkin,” he said, perking up a little in the glow of Maura’s smile.

“Dada,” she said, throwing her arms around his neck.

I rolled my shoulders after passing her off.

Cass rested his hand at the small of my back, pouring some healing mojo into my aching body.

I slid my arm around his shoulder, leaning into him as my eyes darted between my burgers and Eileen.

Her face suddenly lit up in a grin.  “Sam Winchester, esquire.”

“I… passed…?” he asked slowly.

She nodded happily.

“I passed!” he declared, tossing Maura into the air.

She shrieked with delight as he caught her and swung her around.

Everyone gathered in the yard with cans held up in salute, congratulatory pats on the back, and general merriment.

“Hey, man, ya finally did it,” I told Sam.  “You’re gonna be the friggin’ oldest lawyer ever.”

Cass squinted at me.  “There are many living lawyers older than Sam…”

“Yeah, but not like new lawyers.”

“A man in California passed the bar at 74-” Cass tried to inform me.

“Yeah, yeah,” I said, smacking him on the butt.

He made a face at me, but accepted that I was an asshole and that he had agreed for better or for worse.

Moment over, I went back to take my burgers off the grill.  I took a quick sip from my beer that had sadly been sitting there untouched, and damn did that hit the spot.  I hadn’t had a beer in forever.

One of Garth’s twins let out a god-awful shriek, and when my eyes found him, he was pinned under Honey.

I whistled sharply.  “Honey, get your ass over here.”

She quickly ran over to me.

“What’d I tell ya ‘bout jumpin’ on little kids?” I scolded her.

Honey whined.

Of course then that Samstiel kid came running over, calling for Honey.

She stared up at me sorrowfully.

Whichever-one-it-was threw his arms around her neck, then started scratching behind her ears.

She wagged her tail and whined at me.

“What, are ya some kinda masochist, kid?” I asked the twin.

“Yes,” he replied solemnly.

The kid was a werewolf and all so I guessed my little dog wasn’t going to break him.  Probably.

“Okay, fine, go play,” I told my dog, and she barked happily, promptly knocking the kid on the ground again.

He shrieked with delight.

I shook my head.  “Kids these days.”

“Dean Winchester, suburban dog dad,” Claire said with a snort as she passed by, chowing down on a burger.

“Hell yeah,” I agreed.

She gave me a funny look.

I winked at her.

She shuddered and continued on her way.

I was still grinning as I flipped over the hot dogs, only for it to occur to me that she probably meant that as an insult.

That I usually would have taken it as an insult.

“Hello, Dean.”

I glanced over at Jack, feeling my smile warm.  “Hey, kid, ya made it.”

“Yes, I was able to finish my paper more quickly than expected.”

Because after you rebuild heaven, why not start your undergrad?  Obviously God needed a degree in anthropology.

Jack was such a weird kid, but I guess he was ours.

“I can take over here if you would like to go inside for a while,” he offered.

“Jack, a man’s grill is sacred-”

“-and I have studied your grilling technique for many years, so though I may not surpass the master, I can at least carry on his traditions in an acceptable manner.”

I squinted at him.

“Cass misses you,” he offered.

“Oh,” I said, because we weren’t one of those gross codependent couples that couldn’t be apart for 5 minutes, but we’d spent the whole damn week trying to get the whole family down here for Sam after Charlie hacked into the Kansas bar and found out that he passed, and it had been a whole big thing and I hadn’t gotten to see Cass much outside of the ‘party’ context, and maybe, just maybe, I kinda missed him, too.  “Look, you gotta, take these babies off-”

“I know,” he assured me, gently taking the tongs from my hands.  “I’m ready.”

I gave him a nod and headed inside.

Cass was in the living room with Bobby, Jody, and Donna.

“Hey,” I said, leaning in to kiss him and then just deciding to sit on the arm of the chair he was sitting in, because while we weren’t codependent, I just liked touching him.

“Dean,” Cass said brightly, settling his hand on my knee.

“Hey, Deano, heckuva burger,” Donna said, holding up her plate.

“I am the meat man,” I declared.

“Huh,” Jody said, while Donna just took another bite and nodded her agreement.

All-in-all, it was an alright party.

Sammy came in holding a sleepy-looking Maura a little after 8.  He was looking pretty damn sleepy himself.  “We’re gonna get going,” he told me.

“Past your bedtime?” I asked with a snort.

“Har har, you try studying for a year straight while raising a baby and let me know what that does to your sleep schedule.”

“No, thanks, think I’ll just keep being awesome.”

Sam rolled his eyes.

I looked at him, really looked at him.  I looked at my baby brother, the lawyer.  The father.  “Prouda you.”

He paused, looking taken aback.

“Really prouda you,” I repeated, wrapping him in a hug with Maura squished in between.

Sam returned the hug, squeezing me tight.  “Thanks,” he breathed.

It started to get awkward, so I patted his back and pulled away.  “Drive safe,” I told him.  “Or better yet, let Eileen drive ‘cause she’s a functioning adult.”

“Whatever,” he grumbled at me before moving deeper into the room to say the rest of his goodbyes.

Cass came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder.

I reached up, rubbing his bicep absently.

“I’m proud of you, too,” he said softly, just for my ears.

I snorted.  “’Cause I’m such a swell party planner?”

“Yes,” he agreed.  “And also the ‘other thing’.”

I shot him a look.

He kissed my cheek.  “I know it hasn’t been easy for you to… to ‘let go’ of Sam.”

I huffed out a breath, looking back towards the door as Sam carried Maura out to the car.  “He’s right here, man, ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

“Well, he is returning to his home in Wichita.”

“But that’s not what you meant.”

“No.”

My grip tightened on his arm.

“You raised him well, Dean.”

I scoffed at that.  “How many times did I drag him back in ta all this crap?”

“It’s not about being perfect,” he scolded me softly.  “It’s about being there.”

“I know, baby, I just…” I trailed off, trying not to get emotional in front of so many witnesses milling around our living room, and not being very successful.  “I always feel like I fucked it all up.”

“Oh, Dean,” Cass sighed, moving to be beside me, his hand easily slipping into mine.

I found myself led out to the porch.

Sam was fighting with Maura’s car seat while Eileen sat in the driver’s seat, ready to go.  She caught my eye and touched her hand to her chin before arcing it towards me in a ‘thank you.’

‘Of course,’ I signed back.

She smiled at me before turning back to say something to Sam.

There was suddenly a crowd in the front yard as everyone migrated from the back, ready to see the Leahy-Winchesters off.

Sam finally managed to secure his daughter and get into the car.

Everyone was waving and calling out their goodbyes as they pulled away, and our neighbors were probably gonna be a little annoyed, but I looked around me, and it was all family.  They were here for Sam (and possibly for the Meat Man’s amazing meats), this family that we built, this strange, wonderful family.

“Dude, are you about to cry?” Claire asked with a snort.

“Strong men also cry,” I growled at her.  “Strong men also cry.”

She blinked at me, round-eyed.  “The… Big… Lebowsky…?” she asked slowly.

“She’s finally learning,” I said with a choked laugh.  “Shit,” I added, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

Cass squeezed my hand carefully.

I clung back.

And then Jody was at my other side, resting her hand on my shoulder.  “Ya did good, kid,” she assured me.

I wasn’t sure if she was talking about raising Sam or just putting together the party, but either way the tears were freely streaming down my face.

“This is real growth, Dean,” Garth assured me.  “You’re finally actualizing-”

“Stop,” I groaned, running my sleeve over my face again.

“Ah, there he is,” Garth said with a knowing nod.

“We don’t gotta make a spectacle of this,” I complained.  “Jack, you better not of left anything burning on my grill.”

“I removed all the meat before coming to bid farewell to Sam and Eileen.”

“Good man,” I said.

He beamed.

“Look, I love you all, et cetera,” I explained, “but why don’t we get back to the party already?”

 I received a few too many encouraging pat-on-the-backs and sympathy eyes as the party guests proceeded to do as I asked.

Cass led me over to the porch swing and sat me down.

I put my face in my hands and scrubbed.

“You can let it out, Dean.”

“Think I kinda already did.”

He cupped my cheek, gazing down at me softly.

The tears started tumbling down again.

“Dammit,” I muttered, looking away and rubbing my eyes again.  “This is so dumb.”

“It’s not dumb,” he assured me.

“You’re not the one cryin’ like a dumb baby,” I muttered.

“They are predominantly happy tears, correct?”

I nodded.

“Then that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

I mustered up a glare, tugging him forward until he just sat on my lap and I could hide my face in his chest like I wanted.

Cass returned the hug.

“Sammy’s gonna be okay, isn’t he?” I whispered.

“He is,” Cass agreed.

“I’m gonna be okay, too, aren’t I?”

“You are.”

I breathed in deep and let it out slow.  The last of my tears absorbed into the soft material of Cass’s t-shirt, and I was finally ready to face the world again.

“Sunshine, you ever have bacon cooked on the grill?” I asked with a last sniff as I sat back in the swing.

“No, I have not.”

“Okay, that needs to be rectified ASAP,” I said, smacking his behind so he’d get up.

Cass fell into step behind me as I went back into the house.

“This is totally gonna revolutionize your life,” I assured him, reaching for the bacon in the fridge.

He smiled at me fondly, but with a twinkle in his eyes that definitely said, ‘I don’t think so.’

I was prepared to spend the rest of my life showing him the finer things of life that he didn’t know he needed.  “Jack, step aside, the Meat Man is here to make all your dreams come true!”

Cass’s eye roll was a tangible thing.

I grinned at him and booped his nose.

He scrunched it up immediately, looking offended.

“I’m gonna be okay,” I decided.

And I was.

[topfygad]

3 Day Itinerary to Verona and Lake Garda

Of all the destinations in Italy, Verona and Lake Garda are often overlooked. I didn’t regret at all choosing these cities for my visit. Through this itinerary, you can enjoy the best of Verona and Lake Garda in just 3 days!

The view of Monte Baldo from San Felice in Lake Garda

About Verona & Lake Garda

When choosing cities to visit in Italy, Verona may not be most people’s top choice. Relatively close to other bigger cities like Milan and Venice, small enough to be explored within a short period, this city would be perfect to be included in your next Italian bucketlist. The city has all the historical venues, romantic places, and serves as a gateway to an even more wonderful destination, Lake Garda.

Despite being the biggest lake in Italy, it is still less famous and touristy than its neighbor, Lake Como. This doesn’t mean that this lake is any less beautiful. There are several towns surrounding this lake, Sirmione, Salo, Riva—to name a few. Upon your visit, you can pick to stay at one of these towns.

About This Itinerary

This itinerary was inspired by my visit to this area last September. Obviously, the great thing about visiting on the shoulder season is that it’s less crowded and expensive, but we can still enjoy the wonderful weather. In Verona, it was still very humid and hot especially during the day. While in Lake Garda, the temperature was mostly great and sunny even though it gets misty in the morning and night.

You can easily swap out the days between exploring Verona and Lake Garda, whether you prefer to visit Verona at the beginning or at the end of your 3-day stay. This itinerary will focus on the south-western part of Lake Garda (Gardone Riviera to Peschiera).

How to get to and around Verona & Lake Garda

Verona is a very accessible city. You can come either by plane, train or bus from other cities in or outside of Europe.

Verona Porta Nuova train station

By Plane

There are several non-European flights coming into Verona Villafranca Airport, such as from Egypt, Tunisia, and Israel. Other than that, most of the flights are coming from within Europe.

From the airport, you can take Bus 199 to Verona Stazione FS then continue to the city center. There is no direct transit from the airport to Lake Garda, so you will need to take Bus 199 first.

By Train

The train from all over Italy and other countries will stop at Verona Porta Nuova. The train station is located comfortably in the city center, so you can continue on foot or by short bus ride.

If you plan to continue directly to Lake Garda, you can buy a train ticket (Trenitalia/Trenord) to Peschiera or Desenzano, which is on the south of the lake.

Scenic drive from Verona to Lake Garda

By Bus

The main bus station is Verona Stazione FS which is just outside Verona Porta Nuova, you can check the bus schedules and routes here.

By Car

If you want to do a road trip from another European city, Verona & Lake Garda are just north of the A4 and west of the A22 autostrada. Prepare the money for the autostrada.

This is also the most convenient way to explore Lake Garda, but expect heavier traffic and more crowded parking areas during summer months.

Verona and Lake Garda Itinerary

Day 1

Breakfast around Piazza Bra

The best way to enter Verona in style is through I Portoni della Bra, which will lead you to Piazza Bra. This arc is relatively a new one because in ancient time, the entrance to Verona is through Porta Borsari.

I Portoni della Bra

In this piazza you will find some notable buildings around the area, namely Arena di Verona and Palazzo Barbieri. You will also find a lot of restaurants, cafes, and gelato shops, but the one right on the piazza is very expensive. You can walk around the smaller streets and see a café that you like. My recommendation is Caffè Dersut a short walk to via Roma. After a cup of coffee and a brioche, enjoy the morning sun a bit more before heading towards other sites.

Arena di Verona

This looks like a smaller version of the Colosseum, but nothing less impressive. This amphitheater is also still very well preserved. Nowadays, the arena is used for concerts, opera performances and orchestra-philharmonic that attract visitors from around the world. If you happen to be in Verona in June 2020, make sure you come to the Opera Festival.

Right in front of the Arena, there is a statue of Vittorio Emanuele II, the first King of united Italy who assumes nickname of Padre de la Patria (Father of the Fatherland). There is also Palazzo Barbieri on the other side, which is now a city hall building. This part of town is usually very crowded, so always watch your belongings.

Juliet’s Balcony

Casa di Giulietta

Only a short (confusing) walk from the Arena, you will find the other main attraction of this city. Juliet’s House is always overcrowded with tourists . Inside, you will find Juliet’s statue and the famous balcony. On the entrance, the wall is plastered with love letters from people all over the world who pours out their feeling in writing to (fictional) Juliet.

If you’re confused how can one send a letter to a fictional person, you’re not alone. The letters are actually handled by “Secretaries of Juliet” from Club di Giulietta, which is funded by the township of Verona. You can actually sign up to be one or book with them to read archive of these letters.

The crowd at Piazza delle Erbe

Lunch around Piazza delle Erbe

After wrestling your way in and out of Juliet’s House, it would be nice to have a good lunch. Next Piazza to visit is only few minutes away. This Piazza was a forum back in ancient Roman days and now people still gather here around the square.

I would recommend Sapore Pizza. Even though I don’t really like typical thick northern Italian pizza, I found the pizza delicious and very affordable. You can also have some dessert, go get a gelato! Gelateria Imperio would be my go-to gelato place at the piazza.

Stroll around Centro Storico and enjoy Adige River view

Enjoy your chilly treat and continue walking around. On the north of the Piazza there is Torre dei Lamberti, where you can climb the tower (either by stairs or elevator) and enjoy bird’s eye view of Verona. If you walk towards the north, you will end up at Verona Cathedral and Ponte Pietra, which are great places to see as well.

Aside from being very pedestrian-friendly, the narrow streets of Verona to are very picturesque. Why don’t you stop a bit and take some pictures?

Adige River in Verona

Getting to Lake Garda from Verona

You have finished exploring the whole Verona city center in just a day! Next you can choose to drive or take train/bus to Lake Garda and enjoy the sunset on the way, or you can stay in Verona for the night and head there in the morning.

Day 2

Exploring Gardone Riviera

After having breakfast, we can explore the western part of the lake. The must-visit attraction is this impressive lakeside estate called Vittoriale degli Italiani.

The Italian writer Gabriele d’Annunzio once lived in one of the buildings in this estate. The estate comprises a villa, an amphitheater, a cruiser, and a boathouse. During your visit, you will learn about the history of this estate and be given an amazing view of the lake. You can book your ticket in advance on their site, it costs EUR8 for the non-guided tour.

Boat trip around Lake Garda

Picnic, Sunbathing and Boat Trip

If you have not had enough amazing view of the lake, drive south a little bit to San Felice. There are various beaches along the lake but this one is definitely my favorite. You can stop by the supermarket to buy picnic supplies, lay down a mat or towel by the lake and enjoy the sun! This beach is especially hectic during the summer months.

Want to take it up a notch? There is Garda Boat Rental along the beach where you can rent a boat for half a day (4 hours) and go around the lake a little bit. The afternoon is best as the morning mist is gone, you can enjoy the view of Monte Baldo on the other side and the castle at Isola del Garda. The small boat can take up to 7 passengers and only costs around EUR120 on shoulder to low season!

You can find affordable lakefront restaurants in some parts of Lake Garda

Dinner at Desenzano

After a great day by the water, it’s time for amazing dinner. Most of the restaurants around Lake Garda are expensive, especially ones in front of the lake. I would recommend Santa, it is one of the more affordable restaurants in front of the lake. It has an amazing view, awesome food, friendly and quick service despite being a busy night there.

As Lake Garda is more catered towards families and honeymooners, there is barely any nightlife here. So enjoy some restful night before more adventure on the next day.

Day 3

Rocca Scaligera & Grotte di Catullo

In the morning, we drive to Sirmione, which is the peninsula in the south of Lake Garda. There are plenty of attractions in Sirmione, but there are two that you shouldn’t miss. The first one is Rocca Scaligera (Scaligero Castle), a fortified port that was built in 13th century by the Scaliger Family of Verona, which is said to be the most well-conserved in the country. If you look at Lake Garda pictures on Instagram, there are plenty of drone shots because the panoramic view of this place is incredible. If you decide to enter, there is a museum that houses medieval artifacts inside.

Scaligero Castle of Sirmione

The second site is called Grotte di Catullo. You should visit this site If you enjoyed or wanted to visit Pompeii. Surrounded by olive groves, this ancient Roman villa was constructed in 1st century AD and still well-preserved until this day. Enjoy the amazing view of Lake Garda from the ruins of the villa, which also has a museum in it. This site also serves as the set for Call Me By Your Name movie.

The ticket price is EUR14 for the castle, ruins & museum combo. It opens for longer hours during summer, even though the museum only opens until 2pm. These places are closed every Monday, January 1st, May 1st, and December 25th.

Winery tour around Sirmione

Lake Garda region is the northernmost Mediterranean climate in Italy, so it is mild enough to cultivate grapes, olives and citrus trees. Make sure you do a wine tasting or winery tour during your visit. The area is known for its Bardolino, a light red and Chiaretto Rosato, an even lighter and refreshing white.

There are so many wineries and tour operators offering winery tour, pick one that suits your preference, including whether you would like to be picked up at your accommodation, whether you would like the one that includes food, etc. My only advise would be, don’t drink and drive!

Wine Tasting around Lake Garda

The price for a tasting could range pretty significantly between one winery and the other, as well as the tasting menu. I would recommend Onepiò, they offer from light wine tasting (three kinds of wine and breadsticks) all the way to platinum wine tasting (eight kinds of wine and variants of Italian chocolate).

Dinner & going back to Verona

If you still want to get dinner around Lake Garda, there are plenty of good restaurants in Sirmione and Peschiera. I discovered Pasta Salame in Peschiera, a restaurant with a simple menu that is less touristy, very affordable and tastes really good. If you still have room for dessert, make sure to try their tiramisu.

How to Travel to Verona & Lake Garda on a Budget

Lake Garda has been known as the summer destination for the elites, even in medieval times. With some tweaks and planning (and a lot of research) you will be able to stay in these cities without spending too much.

Accommodation Verona & Lake Garda

When picking a place to stay in Verona, pick accommodation right in the city center (Cittadella, Citta Antica) so you will be able to walk to all the important attractions.

To pick a place to stay in Lake Garda, that would depend on the mode of transportation you have. If you depend on public transportation, I would advise staying closer to the lakeside so you can walk to the lake without spending too much on bus ticket. If you rent a car, you can stay a bit further from the lakeside for cheaper, nicer accommodation.

Finding cheap and awesome accommodations around Lake Garda is not too difficult

We stayed at a wonderful villa in Puegnago, with free breakfast, bathtub, huge pool and amazing (farther) view of the lake for only EUR120 per night. In comparison, similar place in Desenzano costs at least EUR205 per night. If you want more simple room, you could definitely get one for a lot cheaper.

Food in Verona & Lake Garda

If you’re not too fussy about food, there are plenty of food stalls that offers delicious sliced pizza and panini for a really low price. Just take the food and eat at a park or back at your accommodation. If you want some pasta, you should try to find places where they offer a more simple menu and most locals go. You can also buy supplies at the supermarket (the local ones are called “Alimentari”) and wine bottles for a really cheap price before visiting an attraction.

Attractions in Verona & Lake Garda

Most of the attractions in Verona are free. The views in both Lake Garda and Verona are amazing, so you don’t really have to pay for anything. The attractions I mentioned above are totally worth it for a small amount of money, but you can totally skip them and still having a good time!

When to Visit Verona & Lake Garda

As you have guessed, visiting during the summer months will make everything more expensive. I highly suggest visiting in May, September or October. In winter months the region gets cold and in Lake Garda, it may get foggy. But if you love winter sports, you can go high altitude skiing on Monte Baldo or go for a thermal bath in Sirmione.

Pin This Article

This post was originally published in October 2019

from Cheapr Travels https://ift.tt/2pb0dXp via https://ift.tt/2NIqXKN

[flairmagazineblog]

Best Places To Travel To This Summer

If weekend getaways and road trips are not cutting it for you anymore and you’ve been dreaming of a real vacation, we’re right there with you. Summer is an open invitation to drown out the noise and go somewhere you’ve never been before. Insert inspiring travel quote here, although we don’t think this requires any convincing! These summer destinations will make sure that 2019 will be a memorable one. 

Monte Isola, Italy

Voted as the third best tourist European place this year, this town is pretty close to heaven on earth. For scenery, expect a huge mountain engulfed in greenery in the middle of the beautiful Lake Iseo. It won the EDEN award, European Destination of Excellence, for a reason. No cars allowed, just sheer appreciation and indulgence in nature. It’s also conveniently two hours away from Milan.

Athens, Greece

Aside from its contribution of philosophy and literature to the whole world, Athens is the ideal place to go for those who want a real peace of mind. While it has a myriad of architecture to admire, people mostly go for the sprightly nightlife and the divine food variety. Make sure to visit Plaka, the oldest part of Athens, to experience the beautiful village vibes we yearn for after spending most of our days in Cairo traffic.

Albi, France

Photo from landlopers.com

This place looks like a Narnia movie or a blissful dream, especially if you’re into old Gothic European architecture. Located on the Tarn River, Albi is mainly famous for the stunning Cathedral Basilica of Saint Cecilia, which is actually designated as a UNESCO World Heritage Site. To clarify, we mean stunning on the inside not on the outside, considering that it was initially built as a fortress to begin with.

Cavtat, Croatia

Photo from visit-croatia.co.uk

Aside from the fact that Croatia is generally one of prettiest countries in the world, Cavtat will capture your heart in minutes. Located on the Adriatic coast, this town is brimful with amazing landscapes and rich cultural heritage. If you want somewhat of an active vacation, it is the perfect destination to go for walks, bike rides, horseback riding and wild watersports.

Livingstone, Zambia

Photo from andbeyond.com

We can sell you Livingstone as soon as we mention the Victoria Falls. Forget the Niagara, this jaw-dropping African waterfall is so worth your trip. While you’re there, you can enjoy a sunset cruise down the Zambezi River and Livingstone’s beautiful safaris. Picture a lot of hippos, crocodiles, zebras and giraffes.

Cape Town, South Africa

Photo from jelanitours.com

It is no secret that Cape Town has a lot to offer. For the heck of it, take the train along the Southern Line Route and hop off somewhere near a desired destination. The gorgeous ocean view will make you find an excuse to keep getting back on. A key location is the Newlands forest where you can go hiking on one of the trails leading up to the famous Table Mountain.

Okinawa, Japan

Photo from traveller.com.au

Lying on the coast of Kyushu, this place is a group of around 160 islands. Aside from the breathtaking scenery, people enjoy its subtropical climate that raises a standard beach experience to a whole new level. Random fun fact: Okinawa is the birthplace of karate.

On the days you’re feeling adventurous, you can explore the jungle of Iriomote, the underwater ruins of Yonaguni and the Shuri Castle in Naha City on Okinawa Honto.

Paro, Bhutan

Photo from holidify.com

Talk about tranquility. If you walk down the main street, you will be impressed with the traditional architecture and lavish buildings. Take a hike up the 3000-feet high rocky cliff to Tiger’s Nest monastery or take the wooden bridge leading to the grand fortress, Rinchenpung Dzong. In both cases, it will definitely be worth your while.

Nova Scotia, Canada

Photo from novascotiabusiness.com

There are no words to fully describe Nova Scotia’s scenic charm. About four fifths of the land area is forest splendor, and this is combined with the grounded maritime culture of fishing and shipbuilding. We specifically recommend you visit in July just in time for the Halifax Jazz Festival, a beautiful fiesta by the shoreline.

Taba, Egypt

Photo from egypttoday.com

If you opt to stay in Egypt then look no further than Taba. Located at the very north of Egypt’s Red Sea Riviera, this town is your perfect getaway dream. It would be the perfect chance for you to go snorkeling or scuba diving. You can also take a boat ride to Salah El Din Castle on Pharaoh’s Island for a magnificent view. It’s interesting to point out that southwest of Taba there is a protected area housing around 5 species of mammals, 50 species of rare birds and 24 species of reptiles.

By Sarah Guirguis

Best Places To Travel To This Summer was originally published on FLAIR MAGAZINE

[isolavirtuosa]

That River in Egypt 8-14 of 21

[fanfiction] Dean / Cass

canon divergent AU from 15x19, Dean being Dean

Previous parts here.

- 8 -

“Sorry, all I’ve got is the couch and the blow-up mattress,” Donna said apologetically.

“You kiddin’?  This is perfect,” I assured her.

“Well it’s no memory foam…” she lamented.

“We’re just happy to have a place to stay that isn’t a crappy motel,” Sam put in.  “Thanks for putting us up, there was no way we were gonna make it back to Lebanon tonight.”

“Glad to have ya,” Donna beamed at us.  “I figure you can take the couch, and Dean and Cass can take the mattress?”

I froze.

“I don’t sleep,” Cass explained, giving Donna a polite smile while he glanced anxiously at me from the corner of his eye.

“Well, sure, but I figured ya might need a bit of a rest and a cuddle after that messy hunt of yours,” Donna barreled forward, oblivious.

Sam had his ‘oh shit’ face on.

“Did Sam tell you?” I asked, eyes narrowed.

Donna was taken aback by my tone.  “Tell me what, Deany?”

It was hard to stay mad with all that Minnesota nice pouring over me, but I managed.  “About me and Cass,” I gritted out.

“What?” she asked, starting to realize that she was in the middle of a minefield.  “No, no one told me?  I just have eyes?”

What the hell did that mean?

“I didn’t know it was a secret since you’re so… ya know, obvious about it and all.”

What the hell did that mean?!

“Gosh, I really stepped in it, didn’t I?” she said, starting to look distressed.

“It’s fine,” I said , moving towards the windows and staring out of it pointedly so I wouldn’t have to look at anyone else.  “Appreciate havin’ a place to stay,” I offered, which was all the smoothing over that I was capable of at the moment.

“Hey, Donna, think I can borrow your shower?” Sam blurted out.

“You betcha, hon’,” Donna said, though she didn’t sound quite as cheery as before, and that was on me.  “I’ll grab ya a towel, c’mon.”

I let out the breath I was holding when the two sets of footsteps disappeared down the hall.

“Dean.”

I didn’t turn around.

Cass turned me around for me, crushing our lips together.

And I clung to him like a man drowning.

He pulled back just enough to rest his forehead to mine.  “I hate when you do that,” he whispered.

Cass hated me, my panicked brain informed me.  “What, I didn’t mean to… Donna…”

“Dean,” he whispered, his nose nudging mine.  “I hate when you run off half-cocked, no plan, and almost get yourself killed.”

“Oh…”

“If Sam and I hadn’t gotten there in time-”

“But you did,” I assured him, all thoughts of me about to be shish kebabed by an angry wraith easily pushed aside.

“I need a rest and a cuddle,” he requested, sounding uncertain.  Like he wasn’t sure he could ask for that.

Was he allowed to ask for that?

“Of course, sweetheart,” I agreed, running my hand up and down the small of his back.  “I’ll take care of you.”

Cass gave me a little smile.  “I’d like that.”

I pulled away to change into my pjs.  I could probably use a shower, but that was what tomorrow was for.

Cass arranged the blankets on the air mattress and crawled under the covers.

I crawled in after him, curving my body around his and holding him close.  “Just for a little bit, okay?” I whispered, all my previous paranoia creeping back in.

“I just want to know that you’re here,” Cass replied.  “That you’re safe.”

“I’m here, Cass,” I promised, kissing the back of his neck.

He curled his hand over the one I had holding his waist, squeezing.

I promptly passed out.  Almost killed by wraiths and all that.  It was a long friggin’ day.

I woke up how I usually woke up, in an octopus-hold with Cass, but something felt different.  I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, still half-asleep, so I pressed lazy kisses to his neck instead.

“Good morning,” he rumbled at me, grabbing my ass like he did pretty much every morning to start revving my engine.

“I feel like crap,” I complained, but my hips were already starting to move.

“Then stop running headfirst into obvious traps,” Cass scolded me, but there was no bite to it as his hips moved lazily with mine.

“Yeah, yeah, blow me, Cass.”

“In front of your brother?”

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah, I’m totally right here, guys,” Sam complained from the couch.

It took me a moment, but then I was throwing a snarky grin over at my brother.  “Well, maybe you can finally learn something.”

“All good, thanks,” he announced, hastily tossing his blanket over the back of the couch and getting up.  “I’m gonna go for a run.”

“Now?” I scoffed, looking at Donna’s kitschy clock hanging over the mantle, declaring it to not even be 7 yet.

“Yep, definitely now,” he decided, making his exit.

“He has the friggin’ energy to run when we just got finished runnin’ for our lives?” I complained into Cass’s neck.

“I believe his regular workouts keep him in shape so as to not… ‘feel like crap’ after a slight exertion,” he informed me.  “Also, in human years he is significantly younger than you.”

“Don’t be an asshole,” I complained.

“I’m not,” he replied, thoroughly groping me.

“Ya gotta cut that out,” I said, trying not to sound breathy.

“Why?” he asked, squinting down at me.  “Sam left.”

I snorted at that.  “Yeah, okay, but there’s no door on the living room, Sunshine.  Don’t think Donna's ready for the Cass full-frontal quite yet.”

“On the contrary, I think she would enjoy it,” he said, still squinting like he was thinking real hard.  “Jimmy kept this vessel in excellent condition.”

“Is that you bein’ cocky?” I asked, grinning.

“I’d fuck me,” he declared.  “I’d fuck me hard.”

I was dying.  “You did not just quote Buffalo Bill at me.”

“No, Dean, I did,” he explained.

“Shit, you’re a keeper,” I informed him, deciding it was time to make out like teenagers.

Cass seemed pleased, and was more than happy to reciprocate.

There was a loud noise that had both our heads shooting up.

Donna was sitting in the middle of the floor, obviously having tripped over Sam’s duffle bag when she tried sneaking through the living room to the kitchen.

“Good morning,” Cass greeted her, hand still obviously groping my ass.

“Mornin’ there,” she said, trying to look anywhere but at us.

“Hey, Donna,” I said, easing away from Cass’s groping.

He gave me a very disappointed face.

“Thanks for letting us crash,” I said, then pressed a very quick kiss to Cass’s forehead before getting up.

“Of course,” she said, rolling herself back up on her feet.  “The more the merrier.”

I followed her into the kitchen.  “Hey, I’m sorry about last night.”

“No, hon’, that’s okay, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, I shouldn’t have,” I said firmly.  “I’m just not used to… talkin’ about it, ya know?”

We could finally look each other in the eye again.

“You two are cute,” she said, punching me on the shoulder.

“It’s not serious,” I said, rolling my eyes.

She gave me crazy eyes at that.

“It’s not,” I insisted, taking the coffee filter she handed me and putting it in the machine.

“Men,” she complained.

“Women,” I shot back.

Donna just gave me a knowing smile and poured the coffee beans into the machine.

- 9 -

I set my coffee on the table and went over to open the fridge, ready to rustle up something for breakfast, when I heard the familiar flapping of wings.

“Good morning, Dean.”

I whirled around, a grin already taking over my face.  “Hey.  Been a while.”

“Apologies, Jack needed me,” Cass said, giving me a rueful grin of his own.

“No worries, honey,” I hummed, sticking my finger into the knot of his tie and dragging him closer.  “Now gimme some sugar.”

“You usually take your coffee black, Dean.”

I bit my lip, trying not to let my grin get any stupider.  “Cass.”

“Oh,” he said, a little light bulb turning on in that weird, weird angel brain of his.  “You want to kiss.”

“That’s the idea, yeah,” I agreed, leaning down.

Cass met me halfway and proceeded to back me into the fridge with his enthusiasm.

The enthusiasm lasted quite a while and showed no signs of letting up, until an interrupting Sasquatch cleared his throat loudly and complained, “uh, guys?  Need to make my shake.”

Cass pulled his lips away from mine which was really friggin’ annoying and I chased after him.

“Apologies,” was all he could get out before my mouth was on his again.

Then I found myself being lifted off the ground, spun around, and plunked on the island.

I gave Cass a dazed look.

“Sam needs to make his shake,” he explained, but then he was kissing me again, so I just went with it.

Sam did his thing, not that I was really paying attention to him, what with making out with Cass on the kitchen island and all.

“You have a bedroom, ya know,” he gave as his parting shot before finally exiting the kitchen and leaving us alone.

“Cass,” I mumbled into his mouth.

“Dean,” he moaned back.

I felt a little smug about that, but I pulled back the tiniest fraction.  “Honey, I’m tryin’ to talk to you.”

“Why?” he asked, looking completely confused.

“Good question,” I hummed, giving him a quick smooch.  “But Princess Hair was right?”

“About?” Cass asked, moving to my neck since I insisted on continuing to talk.

“Mm that’s nice, sweetheart.”

He did it a little more.

I groaned fingers digging into his back.  “I uh… shit… okay, um…”

“Why are you still talking?” he complained, doing really nice things with his mouth.

“I don’t knoooow,” I moaned, eyes squeezed tight.  “Oh, uh… bedroom?  We have a bedroom.”

Cass peered up at me, eyes narrowed in determination.  “I like it here.”

This friggin’ angel really wanted to get freaky in the middle of the kitchen.

Was I the prude in this relationship???

Not that it was a relationship relationship.

“Down boy,” I scolded him with a nervous laugh.

He hesitated.

I tried not to feel shy, because I hated that, I absolutely hated that, but oh well, here we were.  “Wanna blow you,” I said quietly.

Cass’s breath seemed to catch, not that he actually needed to breathe.  “I’d like that.”

“So, bedroom?” I prodded him.

Cass blinked up at me.

“Now,” I said, adding some urgency to my tone.

Which was a mistake, because suddenly the world was spinning and my stomach was turning and then we were in the middle of my room.

“Goddammit, Cass.”

“You seemed to be in a hurry,” he said sheepishly, easing me down onto my feet.

“You know I hate flying.”

“I seem to also be in a hurry…”

I grinned at that, even as another wave of nausea hit me.  “Patience is a virtue, sweetheart.”

He squinted at me.  “So you have no virtue?”

I cracked up.  “Got me there.”

“Speaking of no patience and no virtue…” he trailed off, looking down at the bulge in his pants, then batting his eyes up at me.

“You’re getting a little shameless,” I informed him, going for my nightstand to grab a condom, “and I like it.”

“Corrupting angels seems to be one of your turn-ons,” Cass mused.

I turned around to tell him the bad news, but apparently he’d graced his clothes away while I had my back turned and was standing there completely naked.  “Uhhh mmm yes?”

“Eloquent,” he said, eyebrows quirking.

I held up the empty box of condoms for him since my mouth didn’t want to work.

His whole face creased in concentration, trying to solve this seemingly unsolvable problem.  “I’ll go procure-”

“You don’t get sick, right?” I interrupted him, mouth working again ‘cause of course I was about to blurt out something stupid.

Cass looked annoyed at the interruption.  He really was a total horndog now.  “No, I do not get sick.  What does that have to do with any-”

“So that applies to like, ya know, all diseases?” I asked.  “Venereal diseases?” I added for good measure.

“Yes, Dean, I am unable to contract venereal diseases,” he said, his squint intensifying.

“Cool,” I said.  “Cool, cool, cool.  So, uh… don’t really need the rubbers then, yeah?”

He looked taken aback.  “We don’t?”

I took a step closer, trying to build my confidence.

Was this what I wanted?

I stared at Cass’s very naked body and knew this was absolutely positively what I wanted, so I gave him a nod.  “You’re not gonna get pregnant, so…”

He rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.  “I thought we were using them to contain the mess.”

“Oh, sweetheart, the mess is half the fun.”

“So we’ve only been having half the fun….?”

“Afraid so.”

He was suddenly right in front of me, gazing determinedly into my eyes.  “I would like to have all of the fun now, please.”

“I gotcha,” I assured him, sinking to my knees.

Cass dragged his fingers through my hair, looking down at me with a mixture of affection and arousal and wonder, and yeah.

We were doing this.

- 10 -

“They’re gonna be here soon, so why don’t we just put them in Cass’s room?” Sam suggested.

“We have like a hundred rooms, why don’t you set up another one?” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Do you not remember what a pain in the ass it is to set up the beds?”

“The itty bitty bed a little heavy for baby?” I asked, eyes focused on the onion I was chopping.

“Dude, when was the last time Cass even set foot in that room?”

“I don’t know his life,” I said dismissively.  “It’s his room, anyway, so why are you asking me?”

“’Cause you’re here and he’s somewhere up in heaven, doing angel stuff?”

“Did you try calling?”

“Yes, Dean,” Sam ground out, sounding exasperated.

“Did you try praying?”

“Obviously, yes.”

“Oh, well sometimes he ignores you,” I said, then magnanimously looked up towards the ceiling and prayed, “oh Castiel, angel of the most boring day of the week, Sammy has a question for you.”

We both waited.

“No answer,” I said with a shrug.

“Okay, so can you answer-”

My phone started ringing.

I grinned as I answered, mostly pleased that Cass had ignored Sam but answered for me, but also just the teeniest littlest bit pleased to hear his voice after a couple of days.  “Hey, Cass.”

“Hello, Dean.  What did Sam need?”

“He wants to know if Claire and Kaia can sleep in your room while they’re here,” I explained.

There was a pause.  “…in our room…?”

I swallowed.  Oh.  “No, uh… no, you know, the room we set up for you when you first moved in here.”

“…that room?  I haven’t set foot in there for over a year, I’d hardly consider it mine.  The girls are welcome to it.”

Over a year?  Were Cass and I living together?  Shit.  “Uh, cool, yeah, great, uh… yeah.”

“Dean…” he said, sounding amused.

“Yeah, um, okay, are you coming home soon?” I asked, not that I cared, because we were going to be busy with our house guests.

“As soon as I can,” he assured me.

I glanced at Sam, who was pretending he was not listening but of course he was, so I turned my back to him and murmured softly into the receiver, “I miss you.”

I could hear the smile in Cass’s voice as he echoed back at me, “I miss you, too.”

“Say hi to Jack, okay?”

“Of course.  I love you.”

“Yeah, uh…” I cleared my throat, feeling the heat rushing to my face.  “Later, buddy.”

“Later, ‘dude’.”

I snorted as I hung up the phone, then returned to my onions.

“…so…?” Sam prodded me.

“Well, Cass said that since your weak delicate girl muscles can’t handle putting together a bed, Claire and Kaia are welcome to use his room.”

“I’m sure those were his exact words,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Word for word.”

Sam scoffed at that, and all was right with the world.

I finished making the burgers, Sam finished changing the sheets in Cass’s (former?) room, and the girls finally came bursting through the front door.  They were here to do research on Dark Kaia and her spear, and they were staying for however long it took.

I got everyone fed, Eileen joining us for dinner, and then we moved to the library for brews and books.

“Why do you have so many books?” Claire complained.

“Funny thing about libraries,” I mused, happy that there was someone who hated research as much as I did.  “Full of books.”

“Ugh,” she groaned.  “Fuck books.  Want another beer?”

“Nah, I’m good,” I said, shaking the beer I’d been nursing all night, a little bit still sloshing around in the bottle.

Claire blinked at that, then shrugged and got up.  “Anyone else want one?”

“I’ll take one, thanks,” Sam said, not looking up from his laptop.

‘Nerd,’ I mouthed to Eileen.

‘Total nerd,’ she agreed.  ‘But it’s hot.’

I made a face at her and she laughed.

“You’re dating the biggest nerd of them all,” Claire announced, before disappearing out of the library to go get the beers.

I sputtered for a bit.  “We’re not dating,” I finally declared as decisively as I could.

Sam and Eileen both leaned back in their chairs, their expressions clearly saying, ‘here we go again’, and Kaia looked between them, intrigued.

“We’re best friends,” I explained to her, “with benefits.”

“I mean, aren’t most romantic relationships between best friends?” Kaia reasoned.

“No,” I scoffed.  “Who wants to be in a relationship with their best friend?”

“Claire and I are best friends,” she said with a shrug.

“Eileen and I are best friends,” Sam rushed to put in.

I rolled my eyes.  “It ain’t the same.”

“It’s totally the same,” Claire announced, back a lot quicker than I’d thought she’d be, and already being annoying as she passed out beers.

“It’s not,” I protested.  “You don’t fuck your best friend.”

They all looked at me like I was an idiot.

“I mean that you don’t fuck them romantically,” I explained, because obviously they were all idiots.  “That’s why they’re your best friend.”

“Oh, boy,” Claire marveled.

“Dean is known to frequently visit that river in Egypt,” Sam explained to a confused-looking Kaia.

That made her look even more confused.

“De Nile,” he clarified.

‘Wha?’ she mouthed.

Claire was now looking similarly confused.

I smirked at my brother and his complete failure to communicate with today’s youth.

“The Nile?  Denial?” he tried desperately.

“Oh,” Kaia said, frowning.  “But who says ‘de’ instead of ‘the’?”

“Yeah, Sammy,” I tsked at him.

“Can we get back on topic here?” he asked, looking around the room desperately for an ally.

Unfortunately, he had three.

“Yeah, um, so you really don’t think you and Cass are dating?” Claire put in.

“We’re not,” I said flatly.

“Okay, but you like go on dates all the time.”

“We don’t go on dates, we just hang out like normal best friends,” I clarified as calmly as I could, trying not to lose my temper over this idiotic line of questioning.

“You go out to eat together.”

“Friends gotta eat.”

“Cass is an angel, so technically no, he doesn’t have to eat,” Sam put in.

“Shut up, Sammy.”

“You go to the movies,” Claire continued.

“Again, something platonic friends do all the time...” I grunted, really, really trying not to yell.

“Dinner and a movie, literally the quintessential date night.”

“I go with Sam to dinner and movie, are we dating?”

“You took Cass on that bee-keeping Groupon.”

“He likes bees!” I snapped.

“Gettin’ a little testy there, Winchester,” Kaia put in.

“Why do you all have to romanticize this thing with Cass?” I growled.  “We’re best friends, that’s it, end of story.”

“They’re living together,” Sam put in unhelpfully.

“They have to buy a new bottle of hand lotion every time we go to Walmart,” Eileen put in less helpfully.

Claire and Kaia seemed confused.

Eileen made a lewd gesture with her hand.

“Right, penises,” Claire said, wrinkling her nose.

“Enough!”

Everyone turned to me, unimpressed.

“We’re not talking about this anymore,” I said, downing the rest of my beer, then getting up to get another, and screw them all very much.

When I came back they were comparing notes on their dream hauntings, because that was a normal thing that hunters talked about together, not gossip about who was ‘dating’ who.

Not that anyone was dating anyone.

- 11 -

“I believe under the law that we are common-law married,” Cass said, squinting at me.

I proceeded to perform the most spectacular spit-take to have ever been performed in the history of spit-takes.

“Dude, gross,” Sam complained, wiping at his shirt with a napkin.

“Get over it,” I said dismissively.  “You’re gonna have to explain that one, angel,” I stated, glaring into Cass’s eyes.

He shrugged, leaning forward to slurp his milkshake through a straw.

“Castiel, you can’t just say shit like that and then act all innocent,” I spat out through gritted teeth.

“I’m not that innocent,” he said with a grin.

“Really?  Britney?”

His grin widened as he returned to his milkshake.  “We are legally eligible to be married.”

“Uhhh, okay, but so are a lotta people?”

“We are considered to be a married couple by our friends.”

“Just because Jody said-”

“Sam?” the jerk interrupted me, turning to my brother.

“I don’t want to get involved,” he said, shifting in the squeaky diner booth and looking between us almost nervously.  “But uh, yeah, you two totally act like an old married couple.”

Cass gestured with his hand as if to say, ‘see?’

“Yeah, but no one actually thinks we’re married,” I protested.

Sam made one of his faces that said he disagreed.

Cass just slurped his milkshake.

“Whatever,” I muttered, wiping up the last of my spit-take from the table, and shoving the wet napkins away from me.

“Can I getcha a refill?” our waitress asked, offering me an amused grin.

“That’d be great, sweetheart,” I said, and when our eyes met, there was a little spark.  Which was kind of amazing, because lately whenever I tried to flirt with the waitress I always got an eyeroll or a look of disgust and a rant about the patriarchy.

“Comin’ right up,” she said, and then she honest-to-god winked at me.

Usually Sam was mildly annoyed with me when I was on the prowl, but he actually looked angry this time.  “Really?  In front of Cass?”

“What does Cass care?” I protested, while feeling like an asshole.  But why did I have to feel like an asshole?  I wasn’t doing anything wrong.

And Cass was just drinking his milkshake, for all the world looking like he couldn’t care less.  “A dog’s gotta bark,” he declared with a shrug.

Sam let out a startled burst of laughter.

“I’m sorry, am I the dog in this situation?” I demanded.

“If you have to ask…”

“Jackass,” I muttered.

Cass’s hand nudged mine on the seat.

“Here ya go, one spittle-free Coke,” the waitress said, passing the drink across the table.

“Just the way I like it,” I accepted it with a grin.

Sam rolled his eyes.

“If you need anything else, just let me know,” she added.

“Sure thing,” my eyes dropped to her ample bosom where her name tag was, “Katie.”

She walked away with an extra swish in her step, and my eyes followed obediently.

“Satisfied?” Cass asked, slurping at his milkshake.

“How can I be-” I started to say, but then quickly cut off the very dirty thing I was about to say with a glance at Cass’s hand clasped with mine, resting on the seat between us.  I didn’t even remember taking his hand.

“How can you be…?” he prompted me.

I was being a dick.  “Yeah,” I said softly.  “I’m satisfied.”

Cass’s expression softened.

“Just needed to bark a little,” I assured him.

“I don’t mind.  I know who you’re going home with.”

“Pretty confident there, buddy.”

“I’m really good in bed,” he deadpanned.

I cracked up while Sam pretended to gag.  “Yeah, can’t argue with that,” I agreed, finding myself leaning in to press a quick kiss to his lips.

Cass looked smitten, touching my cheek gently.

“Ahem.”

Oh, fuck, I just kissed Cass in public.

In front of all these strangers.

In front of the waitress I’d been flirting with like two minutes ago.

In front of Sam’s salad.

“Always gay or taken,” Katie sighed.  Her eyes met Cass’s as she said, “sorry about that, hon.”

“Nothing wrong with admiring the view,” he offered.

I squinted at him.  ‘The view?’ I mouthed.

‘You’re beautiful,’ he mouthed back.

I rolled my eyes because no one needed to see me blush.

“It is a nice view,” Katie agreed.  “I’ll be sad to see it go, but I won’t mind watching it leave.”

Was Katie my soulmate?

“’Cause of your butt,” Cass supplied.

Yeah, no, Cass was…

Cass was…

Cass was quoting The Office and being kinda possessive, but we didn’t need to use the s-word here.

I left Katie a very nice tip, and made sure to walk nice and slow to the exit.

- 12 -

Me and Cass were curled up against the headboard, watching Get Smart.  His head was resting on my shoulder, and I couldn’t help constantly glancing down at him.

“How you doin’?” I asked, nudging my nose into his hair.

“Fine since the last time you asked,” he informed me, not looking up from the laptop.

“No need for sarcasm,” I complained, fixing my own gaze back on Maxwell Smart and his antics.

“Dean, you have asked me that question six times since the episode started.”

“Yeah, well… yeah…” I concluded.

He rubbed my thigh absently in a completely non-sexy way, like he was trying to pacify me without actually interrupting the episode.

I tried to let it go.

“Okay, but he stabbed you,” I complained, apparently not letting go.

“It wasn’t a big deal,” Cass murmured.

“Wasn’t a big deal?!” I repeated, getting more agitated.  “The nutcase angel stabbed you with an angel blade!”

He sighed, finally turning his face towards me.  “I’m fine, Dean.”

“Yeah, but…”

His gaze was patient.

“…you almost weren’t,” I spit out, trying not to let the words tear me apart.

“Dean.”

I couldn’t seem to unclench my jaw.

Cass tilted his head up, pressing a feather-light kiss to my cheek.

I cleneched harder.

“Shhh,” he murmured, like I was some frightened animal.

Maybe I was.

“I’m alright,” he whispered, pressing his lips lightly along my jawline.  “I’m alive.”

I closed my eyes, breathing out harshly.

He redirected my face towards him, and I could feel him staring at me even with my eyes shut.

I didn’t want to face him.

Cass pressed his lips to mine, unmoving, not a kiss, but weirdly comforting.

“Cass,” I whispered, my lips moving against his mouth.

“I know,” he assured me.

“But you don’t,” I choked out.  “You’ve never had to… you don’t know what I’m like when you…  You don’t know.”

“Oh, Dean,” he said softly, reaching up to cradle my face.

I caught his hands, holding them to my skin.  “I can’t go through that again,” I whispered, then tried to swallow the words back down.

Cass was quiet, hands still pressed warm to my cheeks.

I looked down, to the side, up, anywhere but into those warm, sympathetic eyes.  “Don’t need your damn pity,” I muttered.

“It’s not pity,” he said.  “How do you think I feel every time you throw yourself to the lions?  With Amara?  Michael?”

“Okay, but I didn’t die, I wasn’t gone,” I muttered petulantly.

Cass rolled his eyes.  “Metatron?”

“I was barely dead like even a day,” I protested.

“You were resurrected as a demon!”

“I was around.”

“You were ‘around’?” Cass asked, sounding exasperated.  “Is this making you feel better?”

“Yeah, kinda,” I said, giving him a little grin.

“You are incorrigible,” he informed me.

“I know you are, but what am I?” I taunted him, hooking a finger in his tie and loosening it.

“Have we concluded the ‘talking’ part of the evening and moved on to the ‘sexy’ part?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.

“It’s always the sexy part with you an’ me, baby.”

“Dean.”

I started unbuttoning his shirt.  He hadn’t changed into his sweatpants and t-shirt like usual after he came back from heaven, and that suddenly had me thinking.  “Does it still hurt?”

“A bit,” he admitted.

Was I really up for this?

I slid his shirt off his shoulders, then inched up his undershirt.  A shallow cut stretched along his rib cage, but something looked wrong about it.  I pressed my fingers lightly to the skin under it, and it was hot to the touch.

Cass winced, and I quickly pulled my hand away.

“It’s okay,” he tried to reassure me.

Oh, no, no, no, I did not like this, nope, not working, I was gonna…

“It’s okay,” he repeated more firmly, taking my hand and placing it over the wound without so much as a blink.

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” I whispered, feeling the heat and the blood and the wrongness against my skin.

“I trust you,” he replied easily.

I let out a shuddering breath before leaning in to look at it up close.

It really didn’t look like much, but a little deeper, and…

Why was it so hard to breathe all of the sudden?

Cass ran his fingers through my hair, stroking soothingly.

A strangled sound tried to claw it’s way out of my throat, so I pressed my lips just above the wound instead.

Cass gasped at that, but his fingers stayed steady in my hair, and I got the impression that it was an appreciative gasp, not a pained one.

I did it again, and his fingers grasped my hair, tugging lightly.  That made me feel calmer for some reason.  “You know how I feel about you, right?” I mouthed into his skin.

“Of course,” he replied.

I mapped my way across his ribcage.

“It’s nice to hear sometimes, though.”

I paused, not daring to look up because I knew he’d have that look, that damn look he got that was full of love and and patience but also disappointment and longing for everything I wasn’t giving him.

His touch gentled.

“I love you,” I whispered, knowing my voice was barely audible.

He let out a breath that he didn’t need to take in the first place.  “I love you, too.  So very much.”

“Good,” I mumbled, feeling embarrassed.  “So don’t go dyin’ on me.”

“Well, it doesn’t hurt to have ‘God’ on our side,” he pointed out.  “Jack has said that he doesn’t want to interfere, but he is a Winchester after all.”

“He always brings you back to me,” I agreed, suddenly needing to throw my arms around his waist and hold him tight.

Cass hissed, and I sheepishly eased my hold away from his wound.

“Come up here,” he said, both hands gripping my biceps and guiding me where he wanted me.

“Sorry, I just needed ta be... close,” I mumbled.

“Me, too,” he assured me, wrapping his arms around me and tucking his head under my chin.

I hugged him more carefully this time.  “I love you,” I repeated, almost above a whisper.

It was nice to hear sometimes.

It was nice to say sometimes.

Baby steps.

- 13 -

“Dammit, Cass, how many times do I hafta tell ya?” I growled, slamming the empty coffee pot on the shelf.  “You drink the last cup, you make a new pot.”

“I thought you were finished, seeing as you already had 2 cups,” he replied all sassily, and then took a long sip of his coffee to add insult to injury.

“That ain’t the point-”

“I apologize for not asking if you needed a third cup of coffee.”

“It ain’t a real apology when you gotta use a qualifier.”

“Dean, chill out,” Sam said, rolling his eyes.  He was sitting next to Cass at the table, also nursing a cup of coffee like a smug bastard.  “You’re lookin’ kinda twitchy for a guy goin’ for another hit of caffeine.”

“Hey, do I ever leave you with an empty pot?” I snarled at him.

Sam held his hands up innocently.

“Exactly, so Cass needs to get his ass over here and make a new pot.”

Cass just raised an eyebrow at me, while Sam looked miffed.

“Dude, don’t talk to your boyfr-”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

“It’s fine, Sam,” Cass said, still not moving to get up.

I glared at him.

“Dean is attempting to assert his dominance,” he continued.

I paused at that.

“Oh,” Sam said with a knowing nod.

“No, stop right there,” I interjected.  “None of your nerd talk.”

“So you’re not trying to ‘prove your manhood’ after last night?” Cass asked with a challenging glint in his eye.

“What?” I asked, not sounding at all frazzled.  “Last night?”  My voice didn’t go up an octave.  “Nothing happened last night,” I asserted convincingly.

“I don’t think I wanna know,” Sam said, going back to his coffee.

“’Cause there’s nothing to know,” I declared.

“Dean is bothered that I am more sexually dominant than he is,” Cass carried on like no one else had spoken.

I scoffed at that.  “Yeah, no.  That’s not…  No, because I’m…  So you see…”

Sam looked very unconvinced, and Cass was sitting there like the words coming out of his mouth weren’t absolutely insane.

“You’re deflecting from the real issue here!” I finally declared, waving the coffee pot around.

Sam snorted.  “Dude, you used to brag about letting chicks tie you up and smack you around.  Don’t know why you’re bein’ so cagey about your kinks now.”

“How am I being cagey?” I complained, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I do not ‘smack’ Dean ‘around’,” Cass said with a frowny squint.

I groaned, but something I didn’t realize I’d been holding onto suddenly released.  “Cass, man, ya gotta learn subtlety.”

“Huh?”

“Ya kinda give the game away when you say you don’t do the one thing but don’t comment on the other…”

“Oh…” he said, his squint getting squintier.  “Apologies.”

“Nah, Sammy’s right,” I admitted, sitting down at the table across from them.  “I own my kinks.  So, last night-”

“I do not want to know,” Sam cut me off, enunciating each word carefully and precisely.

“But don’t you want to talk about our issues?” I asked, batting my eyes at him.

“They’re not my issues,” he stated firmly.

“Exactly, so mind your damn business.”

Sam sighed loudly.

“Dean.”

I turned to my traitorous angel.

He was frowning all disapprovingly.

I thought about apologizing for being a dick.

I thought about the vulnerability of not being able to move, of not being able to see.

I thought of Cass, gentle, strong, taking care of me-

I didn’t need to be taken care of.

Yep, that was the anger talking.

“I shouldn’ta yelled at you,” I conceded, letting my eyes flit over to Cass’s.

“No,” he agreed, “you shouldn’t have.”  He was waiting for more.

“…my bad…?” I offered.

“Dean,” he said in his most disapproving tone.

But then I realized he was giving me sexy eyes.

I swallowed.  “I won’t do it again?”

“Dean,” he sighed, “you know I do not abide lying.”

“I’ll try my best not to do it again?” I offered.

“Better,” he agreed, head tilting slightly.

My lips felt dry, so my tongue darted out to wet them.

Cass’s eyes tracked the movement in what some might consider a predatory manner.

“I’m sorry,” I stated clearly.

His smile lit up his entire face.  “Thank you, Dean,” he said, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand, before passing me his coffee.

I took a grateful sip and immediately regretted it.  “Jesus, Cass, is there even coffee in this cup?” I complained, tasting sugar, milk, and not a whole lot else.

His face clouded over again, though there was still that glint in his eyes.  “One would think that you actually want me to get angry and punish you.”

I choked a little on the milk going down my throat.  “Punish me?” I sputtered.

Cass just arched an eyebrow at me.

“Fuck,” I breathed out.

Sam cleared his throat.

Shit, we shouldn’t be doing this in the kitchen.

In front of Sam’s frou frou smoothie.

But I was kinda invested.  “You have somethin’ in mind?” I asked, then swallowed.  “A punishment, I mean.”

“I have something in mind,” was all he said.

“Fuck.”

Cass looked me up and down, shrugged, then stood up.

I watched him, my mouth kinda gaping open like a fish.

He started to leave.

Sam was staring intensely at his smoothie.

“Dean?” Cass called over his shoulder.

“Yeah, c-coming!” I stuttered, rushing to my feet and knocking over my chair in the process.

“Not today you’re not,” he informed me before disappearing out the door.

I froze in my efforts to pick up my chair.  “Fuck,” I breathed out, then decided to leave the chair on the floor and my brother traumatized as I chased after Cass.

And maybe tomorrow I would take it out on him again, or maybe tomorrow would finally be the day I realized none of this masculinity-dominance-bullshit mattered.

We’d have to wait and see.

- 14 -

“Yeah, but just picture it,” I told Cass, pushing the door to the bunker open and clomping down the stairs.  “It’s angel versus Angel, one’s a servant of God and all that crap, the other is a total douchebag, who will win?”

“Dean, I’m not going to have a cage match with Criss Angel,” Cass stated flatly, dashing all my dreams.

“But you could definitely take him.”

“Being a ‘douchebag’ is not a crime worthy of heavenly retribution.”

“It should be.”

“Oh, hi, guys,” Eileen said, leaning against the table and casually holding a book over what were definitely her bare breasts.

I tilted my head to the side a little, thinking the change in angle might give me a better view.

“Dean,” Cass complained.

“Can’t blame a guy for trying,” I complained right back at him.

Cass sighed loudly.

“So,” I said, clapping my hands together cheerfully.  “Sammy here?”

“He’s around,” Eileen agreed with a nod.

“Awesome,” I said, still trying to see behind the book.

Cass smacked me in the arm.

I held my hands up innocently.

“Thought you two wouldn’t be back until tomorrow,” Eileen commented.

“Oh, yeah, the hunt was a total bust, just some kids with too much eyeliner,” I explained.  “Figured we’d drive straight back and avoid the crappy motel.”

“Good thinking,” she said.

I wondered if her arms were getting tired, because that was one heavy-looking book.

“Well, we apologize for the intrusion,” Cass said, his hand going to my lower back and guiding me forward.  “We are headed to the ‘Dean Cave’ for pizza and a film.”

I glanced down at the pizza box in my hands, then looked back at Eileen and her tireless arms.  “Yeah, we’re gonna watch Giant, so we should be down there for 3 hours or so.  In case you and Sammy wanted to continue engaging in, ya know, library banging.”

“Dean,” Cass groaned, pushing me forward a little more roughly than necessary.

“Thanks,” Eileen said, and I had to hand it to her, her composure didn’t break even once.  Sammy must have been freaking out, wherever he was off hiding.

I would have looked for him, but Cass was being very insistent that we move along.

In the Dean Cave, I decided to take one of the recliners since those long drives were starting to be hell on my back.  I plopped the pizza box on the arm of the chair and opened it, while Cass took the other recliner.

“Can you put in the movie?” I requested, holding out the DVD.

“Of course,” he said, giving me a once-over that said he knew my back was bothering me.

“I’m kinda sore,” I decided to admit, and immediately warmth was flooding down my spine as Cass brushed his fingers along the back of my hand, taking the DVD.

“Thanks, honey,” I said, settling more comfortably into the recliner.

“Of course.”

“Youwan sompizzuh?” I asked, a piece of pizza hanging out of my mouth as I held the box out to him.

“Yes, thank you,” he said, returning from putting the DVD in to accept a piece.  “Also, that is disgusting.”

I flashed him a grin, making sure he could see all the chewed-up food in my mouth.

He shook his head at me, but he couldn’t hide his own smile.

“You’re gonna love this one,” I told him, fixing my eyes on the TV.

“I do enjoy this period of cinema,” he agreed.  “Dean?”

“Mm?”

“I’ve been… thinking…”

“That explains the burning smell.”

“Dean.”

I smacked his arm, still grinning.

“I… I think that Eileen and Sam may need more privacy,” he said slowly.

“Uhhh, then they can get a room?” I suggested.

“That’s not quite what I meant.”

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye.  “The movie’s startin’.”

Cass flicked his hand and the DVD paused.

So this was a serious conversation, then.

Something churned unpleasantly in my stomach.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” he began.

“About Sam an’ Eileen gettin’ a room?” I tried to joke, forcing a grin.

“About… Dean, there’s a house in the suburbs of Lebanon,” he said.  “It’s small, but there’s a large yard and a nice garage-”

“I’m sorry, a house?” I asked incredulously.

“Yes, it’s very-”

“You’re gonna buy Sam and Eileen a house?” I asked, because I must be misunderstanding something.

“Not for them,” he said, shaking his head.

It hit me then.  Hard.  “What the hell do you need a house for?” I growled, feeling the anger rise up like an old familiar friend.  “You don’t even gotta sleep or any of that shit.”

Cass started squinting at me, so I gave him my profile.  “Well, I thought it would be nice to start a garden-”

“Oh, okay, a garden,” I scoffed at him.  “You’re gonna run away to start a friggin’ garden.”

“Dean,” he sighed loudly.  “I wish you would allow me to finish speaking before rushing to conclusions.  The house would be for us.”

My anger immediately deflated into confusion.  “Us?”

“Yes, you and me,” he said, picking up the pizza box from the arm of the chair and setting it on the floor.  He sat in its place, resting his arm along the back of the recliner and leaning closer.  “It would be nice to have our own place.  The garage is spacious enough for two cars, so you would be able to tend to Baby, and as I mentioned, there is space for a garden, and there is a slightly creaky but charming swing on the porch that would be pleasant to sit on in the evenings and-”

“Slow down, man,” I stopped him, resting a hand on his knee.  “Cass, c’mon, the bunker is home.”

“I know that,” he said.  “But you are good at creating homes, Dean, and I think that you could create a new home in this house, because it’s just what we need, it has sunlight, Dean, sunlight, because humans need sunlight-”

I was starting to realize that Cass’s run-on sentences were a sign of how nervous he was.

“Okay, honey, but like I said, slow down,” I urged him, rubbing his knee.  “This is kinda outta left field.”

“Sorry, I just… I want this,” he blurted out.

I still hadn’t quite caught up, but Cass wanted something.

Cass, who willingly sat through whatever movie I chose.  Who let me listen to my music at whatever volume I wanted.  Who ate whatever I put in front of him.

Who, if I told him to jump, would level me with an exasperated glare, but then begrudgingly ask, ‘how high?’

Cass, who never asked me for anything.

Who let me say that dates weren’t dates, that sex was just for fun, that we weren’t friggin’ common law married (because that one was true).

Cass wanted something.

I just wasn’t sure it was something I could give.

[isolavirtuosa]

That River in Egypt 1-7 of 21

[fanfiction] Dean / Cass

canon divergent AU from 15x19, Dean being Dean

- 1 -

“Mistakes were made,” I mumbled into the warm back of the stranger I was naked in bed with.  I knew as soon as I opened my eyes that my head was gonna explode, so I decided not moving was the best option.

The warm body shifted.

“Mornin’, sweetheart,” I hummed, hand running down an impressively toned tummy, enjoying the feel of soft skin over hard muscle.

My partner let out a contented sigh, and I found my hand moving lower.

Fingers moved through coarse hair before idly stroking.

“Dean,” she breathed out, but there was something not quite right.

I started stroking with more intent, feeling her thicken.  My breath started escaping in heated pants.

“Dean,” she moaned, and there was definitely something not right.

My eyes started to flutter open, pain shooting through my head.

The familiar feel of memory foam under me, the dark lighting of the bunker...

My hand slowed.

I would never bring a stranger here.

I would never bring a...

I let go, skittering out of bed like a frightened child.

“W-who...” I started to stammer, but I already knew the answer.

Women didn’t usually have low, gravelly voices.

Or dicks, for that matter.

Cass sat up, looking at me with a weird mix of confusion and arousal.

“I didn’t mean to do that,” I blurted out, continuing to back away from the bed until I hit the wall.

“Do what?” he asked, his voice coming out almost like a growl with how rough it was.

“Uh… you know, uh…” I trailed off, before squeaking out, “why are you in my bed?”

Cass frowned.  “Do you not remember last night?”

“Not really, no.”

His frown deepened.  “Dean.”

I stared at him helplessly, feeling his disappointment in me like it was a physical thing.

“You assured me-” he started to say, then shut his mouth and looked away, clenching his jaw.

Oh, fuck, what had Drunk Dean done?  Because Hungover Dean had a headache and a pissed off naked angel in his bed with no idea how any of this had come to be.

That wasn’t entirely true.

I was trying to tell myself that there was a reasonable (a.k.a. non-sexual) explanation for all this, but…

There were flashes.

There were also a number of used condoms tied off in the trash can.

Jesus Christ.

“We didn’t…” I tried.

“We did,” he replied flatly.

“Okay, but we didn’t…”

“We had sex, Dean.”

“Okay, but… why?”

Cass threw the covers aside and got out of bed, gathering up his clothes from the floor.

He was pissed.

Also, he was very naked.

Not that I was noticing how fantastic his ass looked as he bent over to grab his shirt.

The guy was in great shape; who wouldn’t want to look like that?  That’s all I was doing, experiencing a little body envy and all that.  The burgers and the booze hadn’t been kind to my waistline lately, but Cass could put away anything and still look amazing.

You know, amazing in an objective kind of way.

In the blink of an eye, Cass was fully clothed, and I finally realized that I’d been naked the whole time, too, which had been fine when we were both naked, but now that it was just me, it seemed kind of awkward.

I subtly rested my hands in front of my junk.

Couldn’t really hide the love handles.

Not that Cass would notice.  Or care.

Except that we apparently had sex last night, and regret seemed to be the opposite of why he was pissed.

Cass was attracted to me.

Cass thought I was fuckable, love handles and all.

It was kind of a nice thought, besides that fact that it was terrifying and something we just needed to not bring up ever again.

Because this was definitely not going to happen again.

I’d been drunk, and I was always flirty when I was drunk, and one thing had led to another, but-

“I’m leaving, Dean.”

I was startled out of my denials by reality.  “What?”

“I do not stay where I’m not wanted.”

“You’re wanted!” I blurted out, then immediately backtracked.  “Sam-”

“Dean,” he said, and oh boy, was he disappointed in me.

“No, look man, I didn’t…” I trailed off, having no idea where I was going.  “Let me get dressed and uh take a few Advil, and then, you know, we can… talk?” I suggested, trying not to cringe too hard at the word.

“If you can fit me into your busy schedule,” he said coldly.

“It ain’t like that,” I complained.

“I didn’t mean to inconvenience you,” he continued, relentless.

I ran a hand over my face, trying to get my shit together.  Then I realized I’d left the family jewels on display.

“I’ve had it in my mouth, Dean,” Cass said, sounding very unimpressed.

I blinked at him slowly.

He shot a look towards my crotch area before letting his eyes drag back up my body to meet mine.  He raised an eyebrow, still frowning.

I had one of those flashes, and it involved Cass’s mouth stretching wide and blue eyes staring up at me, and that just wasn’t something that I should be thinking about.  Ever.  It wasn’t hot.  It absolutely wasn’t.  Fuck.  Change the subject.  “Did you like it?” I blurted out, and then wanted to kick myself.

He squinted at me like I was an idiot.  “Yes.”

“Oh, uh…” I trailed off.  “Did I?”

“Yes,” he said, exasperated, because yeah, okay, who wouldn’t like a mouth on their dick?  A mouth’s a mouth and all that.

Something occurred to me.

“So did I…” I hesitated.  “What did I… do?”

There was that squint again.  “You ejaculated.”

I sputtered at that word picture.  “No, uh, no, I mean… to, ya know, pay you back.”

“No money was exchanged.”

I was pretty sure he was fucking with me now.  “I’m asking if I…” I trailed off, making a vague blow job gesture near my mouth.

“No, you did not sing karaoke.”

“Castiel.”

“Are you asking for a… ‘play-by-play’ of our sexual encounter?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah, sure, that’s one way a puttin’ it.”

Cass sighed loudly.  “I performed fellatio on you.  I found it enjoyable.  You enjoyed it to the point of ejaculation.  Then you proceeded to ‘jerk’ me ‘off’.  We both found it satisfactory.”

“Oh,” I said.  ‘Satisfactory’ wasn’t very high praise.  Then again, repaying a blow job with a hand job didn’t seem very… gentlemanly.  “I didn’t…”

Cass waited for me to continue.

“I mean, that’s it?” I asked, rubbing my hand along my jaw.  I’d thought it was kind of sore, but that was probably my overactive imagination, trying to create boogeyman where there were none.

“No.”

Now it was my turn to wait for Cass to continue.

He did not.

“Ya gonna keep me in suspense here?”

“Do you really not remember?” he asked with a frown.

“I uh….”

He stared harder.  “Sam?  The nachos?”

“What the hell does Sam have to do with it?!” I asked nervously.

“We had fallen asleep, and then Sam dropped the plate of nachos in the kitchen,” Cass explained, which explained nothing.

Except…

The crash startling me awake.

Cass laughing as I suggested stealing Sam’s nachos.

Sam yelling at us groggily, friggin’ lightweight that he was.

Then…

Oh…

No, that couldn’t be….

“After we absconded with the bag of tortilla chips and consumed a large amount, we resumed love-making and performed mutual fellatio on each other.”

“You could just say ‘sixty-nine’.”

“Sixty-nine.”

“See?  Much better.”

Cass’s squint seemed to intensify.

Kinda reminded me of his o-face.

Oh, fuck, there were visuals.  Lots and lots of visuals.

Cass sighed loudly.  “Dean.  Get dressed and take your Advil.”

I bit my lip, very confused about how I was feeling but definitely worried that Cass was going to leave mad and never come back again.  “So you’re just gonna leave,” I said, and it came out sounding more like an accusation than the plea it actually was.

“Yes, Dean, goodbye.”

I had my mouth open, ready to stop him, but he was already gone.

“Sonuva bitch,” I muttered, starting to hunt around for some clothes to put on before it all seemed like too much effort and I just threw on the dead-guy robe.  “Fucking Cass,” I muttered, but suddenly that took on whole new connotations.  With visuals.

Nope, nope, nope.

I found a bottle of pain relievers and dumped some in my hand, swallowing them dry before tossing the bottle back on the floor.  I dragged myself to the kitchen, found I had no desire to continue moving, and flopped down at the kitchen table.

“You’re an asshole, you know,” Sam grumbled as he came lumbering in.

I tensed.  What did Sam know?

“Corrupting Cass like that,” he continued, opening the fridge but then groaning as the light met his eyes.

Oh, Jesus, he knew.  He knew, and he was gonna-

“He doesn’t even eat food, so clearly he took my chips for you,” he complained, grabbing the juice and quickly closing the door.

“Who says Cass took your chips?” I asked, feeling like I was on more even footing now.

“The flap of his wings while I was cleaning up the floor.”

“Coulda been a bird.”

“Really, Dean?  A bird?  In the bunker?”

“Crazier shit has happened,” I said with a shrug.

“Not cool,” Sam grumbled, clunking a cup on the counter.

“He was probably just trying to help you,” I said, going for another tactic.  “I mean, eating nachos at 3 a.m., man?  Think of your girlish figure.”

“Not cool,” Sam repeated, then ended up spilling half his juice on the counter in a failed attempt to pour it in the cup.

I snorted, but that made my head hurt more.

“Where is he anyway?” Sam asked, wiping the counter with a sponge.  “Figured he’d be just as miserable as us this morning after that liquor store he drank.”

Oh, yeah.  How this whole damn mess got started.

“So you wanna say that I’m ‘corrupting’ Cass, when you’re the one who got a friggin’ angel drunk.”

“I didn’t think he would take me literally-”

“He takes everything literally, Sam!”

Sam had been sipping his juice slowly like it pained him to swallow, but he took the cup from his lips, looking thoughtful.  “Okay, fair enough,” he agreed.  “I shouldn’t have carelessly suggested that Cass drink a liquor store.”

“You’re damn right ya shouldn’t of.”

“You seemed to enjoy it.”

Goddamn it, did he know?

“You better send Cass out to buy more Tostitos,” he added.

I mean, all three of us had been drunk off our asses.  Some grateful richy rich couple had lavished us with bottles of champagne after we rescued them from the monster of the week, and apparently it really did get you drunk fast, even when you may have previously believed you were no longer capable of getting drunk…

Anyway it was a nice kinda drunk where we were all laughing over anything and everything, and then Sammy said he was going to bed, so Cass said… something about watching… cat videos?  On YouTube?  So we went to my room and…

Blue eyes staring up at me, mouth stretched wide, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Sam was giving me a weird look.

“Cass’ll get right on those nachos,” I said smoothly.  Nothing to see here.

Sam looked at me for a long moment, then shrugged and took his cup to the sink.

He didn’t know.  How could he know?  If he knew, there’s no way he would play it this cool.

We were safe.

We’d gotten away with it.

Everything could go back to normal.

- 2 -

Cass didn’t come back to the bunker for almost two weeks.

Not that this was anything new; he was always pulling a disappearing act.  Though apparently he was texting Sam.

He just wasn’t texting me.

So it was perfectly justifiable that I jumped out of my skin when he appeared beside my recliner in the Dean Cave.

“Hello, Dean,” he said, making my name sound like a curse.

“Hello yourself,” I complained, trying to play it cool like I hadn’t just leapt from my seat and made an unseemly shriek.

“Were you not expecting me?” he asked, sounding a little too sassy for my liking.

“You haven’t been here for weeks!”

“Since we had sex?” he suggested, the sass just sassing up to whole new levels.

“Cass!” I protested, eyes darting around the room nervously even though I knew Sam was out with Eileen.

“I’m sorry, are we still not talking about it?” he asked.

He was definitely not sorry.

“I mean, ya don’t hafta go announcing it,” I complained.

The little shit actually cupped his hands around his mouth and boomed, “we had sex!”

“You’re being an asshole.”

“I feel like that’s my prerogative.”

“Okay, Bobby Brown,” I muttered.  “Live your life.”

“Dean,” he said, and it came out long-suffering.

I finally dared to look him in the eye, and that was a mistake.

He looked weary, and I was the one who put that expression on his face.

“I missed you,” I blurted out.

His eyes softened.  “I missed you, too.”

“So can we just go back to normal?”

His expression darkened again.  “‘Normal’,” he repeated like it was a dirty word.

“What the hell’s wrong with normal?” I shot back.

“I’m not going to pretend that nothing happened.”

“I ain’t askin’ you to.”

“That’s exactly what you’re asking.”

“I’m not…” I tried, and gave up.  “Fine, maybe I am.  But what’s wrong with that?  What’s wrong with how things were?”

He just stared at me, all frowny and disappointed.

I knew that I was messing this up, I just didn’t know how to not mess it up.  “Cass,” I said, giving him what was probably an incredibly pathetic look.

He scowled at me, then looked away.  “It meant something to me.”

Oh, shit, oh, shit, he was gonna leave.  I had to say something, something not stupid or offensive, or he was going to leave and not come back.

I was maybe starting to panic a little.

Or a lot.

“Dean.”

And I had maybe been sitting there not saying anything for a while.  My eyes snapped to Cass’s.

He cupped my cheek with his hand and then he leaned in.

Oh shit was he gonna…?

He pressed his lips to my forehead.

That felt… nice.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out.

He gave me a rueful smile.  “I’m sorry, too.”

“For what?” I asked, squinting at him.  “Pretty sure I’m the asshole here.”

“Probably,” he agreed, a little sparkle in his eyes.  At least we were back to joking.  “But I should have… it was wrong of me not to speak to you all this time.”

“Oh.”

He ran his thumb down my cheek before pulling his hand away.

His hand was kinda big.  Solid.  Comforting.

Not that I wanted to follow after it.

“I was hurt, but… I understand,” he finally said, and he looked guilty now.  “The things you said when you were intoxicated were simply ‘the alcohol talking’, and I should not have taken… advantage of you.”

What the hell had I said to him that made him think I wanted to have sex?  With him?  Multiple times?

And yet as much as I wanted to claim that I didn’t remember anything, okay, that was actually a complete lie.

Dean Winchester didn’t get blackout drunk.  And I’d had plenty of time over the last couple of weeks to think about that night.

About how I’d thrown myself at Cass.

I want you, I’d whispered into his ear when all we’d been doing was watching stupid animal videos on YouTube.

There was no spark, no cause, no reason at all, just me being drunk and horny.

And Cass, drunk as he was, had tried to stop it.

Cass, with his feelings.

Cass, who was completely unused to being drunk, being out of control, had pushed against my chest, said something along the lines of, I don’t want this if you don’t feel the same, and then…

Well there was no use dwelling on it, right?

Yeah, Cass, yeah, me, too…

Lying to an angel.  I was going to hell.

Again.

‘Lying’.

Nope, nope, nope, we just needed to forget this whole thing and move on.

“Look, man, it’s cool,” I informed him magnanimously.

His gaze narrowed.

“I got an extra brew,” I said, reaching into the cooler next to the couch and pulling it out.  “The Untouchables is on,” I added, gesturing towards the TV which I’d been watching before Cass had shown up.  “Movie night?”

Cass didn’t answer for what seemed to me like an uncomfortably long period of time.

The bottle started to sweat in my hand as I continued to hold it out to him.

“Dean, do you understand that I want you sexually?” he finally asked.

I tried to come up with something clever to say, came up blank, and I was pretty sure my face was beet red.  “Yeeessss?”

He breathed out a loud sigh.  “That doesn’t bother you?”

“…nooo…?”

“So sitting next to you, watching a movie together will not make you uncomfortable?”

Now that one I could answer.  “Of course not, Cass.  You’re my best friend, and ain’t nothin’ gonna change that, okay?”

He looked like he was having some kind of war inside of himself, but he finally took the bottle from my outstretched hand.  “You’re my best friend, too.”

And everything went back to normal.

- 3 -

“How the hell does this keep happening?” I groaned incredulous.

Cass growled something unintelligible into my back, his arms wrapped tightly around my middle.

Thing was, I knew exactly how it happened.

You’re not drunk, Dean?

I ain’t drunk, Cass.

You seem vaguely inebriated.  I do not wish to have sex without full consent.

Then use your mojo to sober me up, Jesus.

And I had continued to do with my hand exactly what I’d been doing previously, sober as a judge.

“Go back to sleep,” Cass mumbled, kissing the back of my neck.

It gave me goosebumps.

Fuck.

“Gotta pee,” I said, shoving out of his hold and throwing my feet over the side of the bed.

Naked again.

I grabbed my robe and made my exit as quickly as possibly, slamming the door behind me in my haste.

Goddammit, how had this happened again?

We’d been watching The Golden Girls for chrissakes.  And yeah, I’d had more than my fair share of that bottle of bourbon, but Cass?  Really?  I mean, was my right hand not sufficient?  I needed a dude to jerk me off?  Was I that friggin’ lonely?

No, that wasn’t what was going on.

I wasn’t going to think about what was going on.

Instead, I peed.

Then I realized that I’d left Cass in a panic.

After I had promised him…

He was going to be so mad at me.

He was going to leave.

He was absolutely going to leave.

I was running down the hall before I could really think about it.  “Cass!” I called as I threw the door open again.

He was sitting on my bed, fully clothed now, trench coat and all, and looking just about as pissed as I expected.

“Hey, there, buddy,” I said, not knowing what to say now that I was actually here.

“Hey, pal,” he replied, dripping with sarcasm.

“Look…” I tried.

“I think you’ve made yourself quite clear, Dean.”

I chewed on my bottom lip.  “Cass, c’mon, man…”

“Fool me once, shame on you,” he said, shaking his head.  “Fool me twice, and I am the one who is shamed.”

“It’s not like that.”

“What is it like then, Dean?”

“I dunno, man,” was all I could come up with.

“I see,” Cass said, standing up brusquely.

He was gonna go and he was never gonna come back.

My hand was gripping his shoulder tight before I’d even told myself to move.  “Don’t go,” I said, which might have come out a little like begging.

Cass didn’t soften at all.  In fact, his eyes turned hard as steel.  “Have you been having sexual relations with me so I won’t leave?”

“What, no,” I said incredulously, my hand still gripping him tight and trying to save myself from perdition.  “Why would you think… I’m not… I don’t think I’m… am I…?”

“I don’t know, Dean, are you?” he asked, unrelenting.

“No,” I decided.  Sleeping with Cass so he wouldn’t leave?  That was a little extreme.

So why was I sleeping with him then…?

Look, that wasn’t important.  What was important was smoothing things over and making sure this never, ever happened again.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you-”

“You did.”

I stopped mid-speech and swallowed.  “Yeah, but-”

“I can barely look at you,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion as his eyes flicked away from mine.

Oh, shit.

No, no, no.

“I’m sorry,” I whined pathetically.  How could I make him understand?

I didn’t even understand.

“I’m sorry, too,” he said, brushing my hand away and moving past me.

All I could think of was that stupid fight, why does that something always seem to be you?, Cass walking out of the bunker while I just sat there.  Stood there?  Leaned there.

What did any of that matter?

“Don’t go!” I blurted out.  Again.

Cass sighed loudly but stopped with his hand on the doorknob.

“I dunno what’s up with me, okay?” I tried to explain, stepping closer to him.  “I dunno why we keep ending up in bed together, but what I do know is that you’re important to me.  I can’t… I need you, Cass.  I need you.”

“That all sounds rather selfish to me,” Cass ground out, not looking at me.

And that punched me in the gut, because as much as I acted like a selfish douchebag, in reality I…

I held back the sob that seemed to come out of nowhere.  “I hate how I treat you,” I whispered.  “It’s fucked up,” I tried to explain, my voice cracking.  I took a breath, trying to push it all back down.

Cass’s head tilted in profile, still not quite looking back at me.  “I understand, Dean.  It’s because I allow you to treat me this way.”

A tear escaped its way down my face.  I quickly rubbed it away, not wanting to deal with it.  With what it meant.

“I’m indulgent with you,” he continued, “in a way that no one else in your life is.”

I caught the sleeve of his trenchcoat, clutching the material between my fingers.

“I think you need it, but you don’t know how to accept it,” he said.  “Love, compassion, sincerity.  These things, they all… ‘rub you’ the ‘wrong way’.  You reject them even while you’re reaching out for them, longing for them.”

I tasted blood, realizing I’d bitten my lip so hard it was bleeding.

Cass turned around, his eyes finally meeting mine.  “And I’ll let you do it every time,” he said sadly, thumbing over my lip and healing the cut, “because I love you, Dean.”

I wanted to tell him to stop.  That he deserved better.  He wasn’t stuck with me, he could let go and move on and I kissed him instead.

And instead of telling me to fuck off, Cass used all that angelic strength of his to lift me off the fucking floor and take me back to bed.

- 3 -

I’d figured out the problem.

“We’re in the Dean Cave,” Cass observed from his chair next to mine.

“Yes,” I agreed, not looking away from the TV.

“We always watch Dr. Sexy in your room,” he pointed out.

“Sometimes it’s good to change things up.”

Cass seemed to accept that at face value.  He stopped bugging me about it, anyway.

And here we were, a couple of dudes sharing some pizza and some beers, watching TV, and not having sex.  As two dudes usually did.

See, it was obvious now.

No one else ever came into my bedroom.  Sure, Sam stuck his nose in if I was sleeping late or if I was playing my records too loud for his delicate womanly ears, but he never actually came in.  We didn’t hang out in there.  A bedroom was a man’s sacred space.  It was a space for a man and the person he was about to have sex with.  Er, woman.  The woman he was about to have sex with.  Well, when talking about me personally.  Other dudes might have sex with men.  I had sex with women.  And okay, yeah, the two (do we go by days or number of orgasms because then it was five) times with Cass.  But that was because he was in my sacred space when he shouldn’t be.

Sacred space was not a euphemism.

Anyway, problem solved, everything was back to normal.

“This episode is less plausible than usual,” Cass commented.

“Really?  Are you a medical professional now?”

“I don’t need to be to know that no hospital would allow a surgeon to operate on his own brother when he has a potential head injury from being in the car accident with said brother which caused him to need surgery.”

“Just don’t think about it,” I said, waving off his very boring criticism.  “Look at the sexy doctors and enjoy.”

“The plot is distracting me from the sexiness,” he complained.

“Oh my god, you’re the guy who watches porn for the plot,” I groaned.

“I always find the plot difficult to follow,” Cass said, turning his squint on me.  “The leaps of logic that the characters make rarely follow an understandable path.”

“I think the path is ‘we wanna bang and any flimsy excuse will do’.”

“I still find it most perplexing.”

“Dude,” I said, shaking my head.  I couldn’t help my grin.  “You’re supposed to get off to it, not write essays about it.”

“I’m just trying to understand…” he started, then trailed off, his expression going completely confused.  “Why is Dr. Sexy taking his shirt off in the middle of an operation?”

“Don’t question it, just enjoy,” I assured him.  I sure was.

“You realize that the admiration you feel for Dr. Sexy is actually lust, right?” Cass asked, staring at me hard.

“What, no,” I protested, though for some reason I still couldn’t quite remove my eyes from those pectorals.

“I think you would find a sense of peace if you just admitted it,” Cass said with a shrug.

“What’re you, the closet police?” I grumbled.

“Are you in a closet?” he shot back.

“Shaddup,” I muttered, sinking deeper into my chair.

He did so.

I tried not to think about it and instead focused on all the important action happening on the television.  All the hospital monitors were beeping and alarming and basically going nuts, so Dr. Sexy was about to do Something Drastic to save his brother.

Fuck, he was hot with no shirt on, body sheened in sweat as he dared to do the operation that everyone said was impossible.

“I have a crush on Dr. Sexy,” I muttered.

“Thank you for telling me that,” Cass said, smiling at me warmly before turning his eyes back to the TV.  “Dr. Wang is more my type.”

That jolted me upright.  “You have a type?” I asked incredulously.

He tilted his head to the side thoughtfully.  “I suppose it is more a turn of phrase.  People I am attracted to certainly vary with their physical and mental characteristics.”

“But you’re into Dr. Wang?” I asked, waggling my eyebrows at him.

“She is… assertive and driven, yet has a vulnerable side that she tries to keep hidden which I find… endearing,” he decided with a nod.

“And she’s got nice tits.”

Cass sighed loudly.

“Are they not nice?” I asked.

“They’re lovely,” he assented.  “I just wish you wouldn’t boil people down to their physical attributes.”

“She’s a character on a TV show, man…”

“So you don’t do the same thing to the waitress at the diner?  The clerk at the gas station?  The ‘damsel in distress’?”

“We’re talking about how you wanna bone Dr. Wang, not fighting the patriarchy or whatever,” I complained.

“Sorry, dude,” he muttered sarcastically.  “She’s so hot, I desire frequent intercourse with her.”

“Don’t be lame,” I protested.

“My legs are fully functional.”

I threw a pillow at him.

Cass just glowered as it bounced off his head.

I snorted.

“At least I don’t want to ‘bang’ that imbecile shirtless doctor in cowboy boots.”

“He’s a brain surgeon!”

“A terrible one,” Cass muttered.  “He always disregards appropriate scrubbing procedures, he speaks to other doctors about his patients in defiance of HIPAA, he has sexual relations with interns in closets-”

“Maybe you’re just jealous.”

He huffed out an annoyed sound.

I waggled my eyebrows at him.

His glare got very… sexy.

I swallowed.

Whatever, sometimes I found dudes attractive.  It didn’t have to mean anything.

In fact, the fact that Cass was very attractive didn’t mean anything at all.

“Dean,” he growled at me, and it sounded like a warning.

It was now undeniable that I was getting hard.

Which made no sense and was stupid.

Why did Cass now equal sex to my brain?  Well, no, not my brain.  The other brain.

God fucking dammit.

“Dean?” he repeated, but it was softer now, a question.

“Do you like guys and girls?” I asked, because who the fuck knows.

He hesitated before answering.  “You mean sexually?” he finally clarified.

I just nodded my head.  Me and words weren’t friends right about then.

“I don’t really consider genitalia a concern, so I suppose the simplest answer to your question would be ‘yes’.”

“Oh,” I said.  I nodded.  Then I shook my head.  “But you’re an angel.”

“…and…?”

“Isn’t that a, ya know, a big sin and all that?”

“Dean, God was similarly unconcerned with gender,” Cass said.  “And also, Chuck is an asshole.”

“Oh,” I said.  It took a minute.  “And hell yeah he is.  Fuck that guy.”

Cass sighed, giving me a fond look.  “It’s okay, Dean.”

I didn’t ask what was okay.  We didn’t need to talk about this anymore, or how it pertained to me.

Instead I reached over and tugged on Cass’s sleeve.

He studied my face.

I pulled a little more insistently, and he immediately gave in, moving towards me.  I looked up at him, standing over my recliner, and tugged again until he leaned down and I could rest my hand against his stubbly cheek.

Cass’s eyes stared into mine, asking a question.

I guided his mouth to mine, making sure he didn’t have to ask twice.

Cass seemed very into it, until he wasn’t, pulling back abruptly.  “Sam…”

Why in the hell was he saying my brother’s name while kissing me-

Oh, right.

Sam was still up, nerding in the map room, and was known to stick his nose in the Dean Cave when he was bored.

“Meet me in my room,” I decided, giving him one last thorough tonguing to make sure he didn’t make any detours.

“Okay,” he agreed, sounding kinda breathless, his stare a little glassy.

I grinned, reaching for the remote and turning off the TV.  “See you in five.”

Cass appeared in my room in exactly five minutes, and proceeded to take me apart.

The next day we had sex in the Impala.

The day after, we had sex in the cheap motel we were staying in while Sam was out interviewing witnesses.

Apparently, my bedroom wasn’t the problem.

- 4 -

“I need to get laid,” I decided.

Sam gave me a funny look over the shopping cart he was pushing around Walmart.

“Sorry, Donna Martin, are you still waiting for marriage to lose your V-card?” I asked, tossing the jumbo box of condoms into the cart.

“Really, a 90210 reference?”

“If the skirt fits,” I said with a shrug.

Sam sighed loudly.  “I’m just wondering why you need to get laid so bad when apparently you’ve already gone through like thirty condoms since we were here last month.”

“What, are you keeping tabs on how many rubbers I go through now?  Things with Eileen that bad that you gotta live vicariously through me?”

“Whatever, dude,” Sam scoffed at me.

I threw in another box of condoms just to be an ass.  And also Cass and I were probably gonna use them.  I mean, we could use them separately.  Like independently.  With chicks.  I had taught Cass all about safe not-involving-angel-blades sex, and he was ready to take those lessons out into the wild.

So Cass would have sex with women.  Or dudes.  Whatever, I didn’t judge.  And I would have sex with women.  And we could go through two large boxes of condoms.  And annoy Sam by buying even more condoms next time we were shopping.  This was a win-win.

“I see you got the cherry-flavored ones,” Cass murmured from where he was suddenly lurking behind me.

I didn’t jump out of my skin due to years of practice and turned very slowly to face him, glad that Sam was already in the next aisle.  “Wha?” I asked intelligently.

“I prefer them to the non-flavored ones,” he explained with a nod of approval.

“But you don’t… taste things?” I tried.

“Yes, but I like the way they feel in my mouth.”

“…oh,” I said, trying not to have sexual thoughts in the middle of a Walmart.

“I’d like to try different flavors, too, though,” he mused.

“Uh-huh.”

Cass squinted at me.  “Are you alright?”

“Peachy,” I squeaked.  “Where’s Sam?”

“He’s in the hair-care aisle, trying to decide on a hair mask,” Cass said, his eyes glowing as he searched for and located my brother.

That was kinda hot, too.

Fuck.

What was wrong with my brain?

Cass was not hot.

Well, no, okay, fine, objectively he was an attractive dude.  If you were into dudes.

Which I wasn’t.

Except, you know when I was.

Fine, I was into Dr. Sexy.

Patrick Swayze.

Gunner Lawless.

This list was getting long but I couldn’t leave out…

Harrison Ford.

But who wasn’t?  Every dude had a man crush.  It was a thing.

Does every dude fuck their best friend?

Suck his cherry-flavored dick?

I needed to get laid.  That was what this was.

“We’re going out tonight!” I declared to Cass.

He shrugged disinterestedly in response.

So a few hours later we were parked at a bar, drinking beers and scoping the room.

“The chick in the low-cut top is definitely checking you out,” I informed Cass.

He glanced towards her, which made her blush and look away.  He turned back to me with that same disinterested look he’d gotten when I’d suggested this whole thing.  “That’s nice,” he deadpanned at me.

“Dude, c’mon, have you seen that rack?” I complained.  Cass got all the good attention and he didn’t even appreciate it.

“I’m more interested in your rack,” he said, taking a bored pull from his beer.

“I don’t have-” I started to sputter and stopped myself.  Now was not the time, because a woman in a very short skirt had just walked into the bar, looking like she was on the prowl.  “Okay, things just got interesting.”

Cass rolled his eyes.  “Can I go home yet?”

“Whaddya mean, go home?”

“I mean that I have no intention of watching you shamelessly flirt with that young woman,” he informed me.

“Uh, dude, that’s why we’re here,” I protested.

“It’s why you’re here,” he corrected me.  “I just came along to enjoy our date.”

“I’m sorry, our what now?”

“Our date,” he repeated, not explaining at all.

“We came here to pick up women,” I tried explaining.

“No, you ditched Sam, took me to dinner, then took me to a bar for a ‘nightcap’,” he told me, and actually that was a fairly accurate description of our night.

So there hadn’t been a lot flirting with the ladies.  It was still early, and there just hadn’t been that many women of interest in the bar, so Cass and I had been talking, playing darts, and doing other best friend stuff.

It seemed like a date, but that was just ‘cause… uh, the women, right, there were no women to flirt with, so we were flirting with each- I mean so we were hanging out with each other like usual.  And yeah I took him to a diner first, ‘cause bar food was crap, and yeah I paid, because I always paid because Cass didn’t have any money.  And I stole some of his fries off of his plate and he did that eye flash thing to try and get me to stop, but it kinda turned me on and we played footsie under the table, but it was all very platonic, non-gay footsie.

You knew it was non-gay, ‘cause here we were now, ready to pick up some women.

Well, I was ready.

Cass could do whatever he wanted.

So I told him so.

He stared at me for a long moment.  When he finally spoke, he seemed tired.  “So you would like me to have intercourse with a woman?”

“Or a dude, whatever, I don’t judge.”

I could actually feel his eye roll.

“Fine,” he said.

I had been opening my mouth to argue, but now I was just confused.  “…fine…?”

“Yes, fine,” he said, pushing out of his seat.  “That woman earlier seemed prepared to mate with me.”

“Jesus Christ, Cass, don’t call it mating…”

“I will call it whatever I want to call it,” he said, picking his drink up off the bar and sauntering away like he was some smooth, attractive dude who was good at picking up chicks.

This was fucking ridiculous.

Cass flashed those baby blues at the chick in the low-cut top, and all the sudden she was inviting him to sit next to her, and they were talking easily, and she kept leaning forward to give him a nice view, and he was looking, I could goddamn see him looking, and I was…

...proud…?

Nope, that definitely wasn’t what I was feeling.

I was pretty sure I was seething.

Well, two could play at this game.

Except instead of getting out of my seat and going to flirt on my own, all I could do was watch Cass and this nameless chick.

Why was she touching his arm?

Why was he laughing?

Was he really going to go home with her?

It irritated me.

Obviously because Cass was getting lucky and I wasn’t.

Cass could fuck whoever he wanted.

It was fine, I didn’t care.

In fact, after one more beer, no make that a shot, I was going to get up and flirt with Short Skirt.

“Dean,” a voice growled in my ear.

“Huh?” I said, my reaction time weirdly slow.

“Get in the car.”

“But uh, whattabout your date?” I asked, definitely not being jealous.

“You are my date,” he reminded me.

“This isn’t a date,” I protested lamely.

“Get in the car,” he repeated.  “I’m tired of these stupid games and I will have you now.”

“Oh,” I said, not relieved at all.  “So we’re gonna…” I trailed off, then just mimed a blow job.

“Yes,” he said, irritated and frustrated and exasperated and all the -ed’s.

“Awesome,” I said, slapping some cash down on the bar to cover our tab.

Then I went out to the car and let Cass have his way with me in the backseat.

- 5 -

I woke up warm and safe, which as usual, sent me into a panic.

“Gotta… coffee,” I decided, trying to disentangle myself from Cass’s octopus hold.  I’d gotten a foot on the ground even though there was still an arm around my chest, but suddenly I was being yanked back into bed.

“It’s not time to get up,” a voice growled in my ear.

Fuck, Cass had a very sexy morning voice.  “You don’t gotta sleep,” I complained, trying to squirm away from him.

“I find that resting with you gives me a feeling of ‘recharging’,” he hummed, worming his way back into my arms and resting his cheek against my chest.

Why did we just fit together like this?  “Coffee,” I protested.

“Later,” he assured me, pressing a sleepy kiss into my skin.

“This is non-consensual cuddling,” I muttered.  How had I gotten trapped here?  Every morning I ran out on Cass, and every morning he let me… which wasn’t as shitty as it sounded.  I mean, it’s not like I kicked him out of bed.  I just left.

Not as shitty as it sounded.

Anyway, Cass was forcing cuddles on me which was actually pretty shitty, except that he was so warm and huggy and I was asleep.

I woke up irritated, my arms reaching for the warmth.

“I have to go,” Cass apologized, kissing my forehead and easily pulling out of my grip on his arm.

I didn’t whine.

“Heaven ‘shit’,” he explained, and I knew he was quoting me.

“It can wait,” I muttered, still reaching for him.

“I’m afraid it can’t,” he said, giving me a soft smile.  “I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

“What, in a few weeks?” I complained, starting to feel more awake.

“I hope not,” he assured me.

I frowned up at him.

He leaned in, kissing my eyelid.

Jesus, when did we start doing shit like this, and when did I start liking it?

“I love you,” he said softly, almost to himself.  “I’ll see you soon.”

My face felt very warm as he disappeared.  I tried to settle back into sleep, but the bed that had felt so comfortable a couple of minutes ago just felt empty now.

I decided to finally get my damn coffee, a glance at my alarm clock telling me that it was a lot later than I expected.

Sam caught my scent on the way to the kitchen and followed me in.

“You gonna sleep the day away?” he tried to joke.

Why did he have his serious face on?

Oh, shit, did he know?

Did he know?

He didn’t know.

Did he?

Sam leaned against the counter, all fake casual.  “So Cass carried you in from the garage last night.”

How the hell did he know that?  We’d been at the bar pretty late, then we’d been in the parking lot for… a while.

Dean, do you think you can come again?

Cass was a persistent guy, I’d give him that.  Singularly dedicated.

Anyway, I was exhausted and I fell asleep afterwards, and Cass was a friggin’ angel and all, so it was really no big deal if he… wait, he literally carried me inside?  Fireman’s carry or princess style?

I definitely wasn’t going to ask Sam, and he was starting to look at me funny.

Deflect, deflect!

“Jealous?” I shot back.

Wait, what?

No, that wasn’t…

“Of what?” Sam asked incredulously.

“Ya know, of the uh fun times me an’ Cass had,” I said, and dammit, NO.  I was losing control of the situation.  Need to get things back on track.  “Pickin’ up ladies.”

“Cass picked up ladies?” he asked flatly.

“Kinda,” I said.  We’d sort of had it out between round one and round two, and it turned out that the chick with the nice rack had definitely been interested, and he had to politely turn her down because he was only interested in me.

Which was weird, but whatever.  Kinda nice.  Mostly weird.

Cass was a weird guy.

Sam let out a very loud sigh.  “Dean.”

“What?” I complained, cradling my coffee cup in front of me defensively.

“You can’t keep doing this.”

Shit, he knew.  Why did he always know?

He couldn’t possibly know.

“Doing what?” I asked, leveling him with a hard stare and daring him to say it.

“The drinking, Dean,” he said, exasperated.

“Huh?”

Sam’s frown deepened.  “You’re turning into Dad.”

“Wow, Sammy, really?” I asked incredulously.

“You were so drunk last night you let Cass drive Baby and carry you to your bed bridal-style.”

Well, that answered that question.

“Dude, I wasn’t drunk,” I shot back, annoyed.

Sam did not appear to believe me.

“I was in a sex coma,” I explained.

“A sex… coma…”

“An inexperienced young lady such as yourself wouldn’t understand, but when you-”

“It doesn’t change the fact that you were drunk.”

“Um, yeah it does, because Cass won’t even have sex with me if I’m drunk, so-” I screeched to a halt.

“Why would you want to…” Sam trailed off, his brow creased in concentration.

Abort, abort.

How did I get out of this one?

“Cass won’t let me have sex.  With ladies.  When I’m drunk.  Because consent,” was the genius explanation I came up with it.

Sammy still looked like he was doing quadratic equations in his head.  Then his eyes widened.

Nope, nope, nope.  “That’s why I need boxes of condoms.  To have sex with all the ladies.  When you’re not drunk you can, you know, go for round two.  Or three.  With chicks.  In their vaginas.”

“Stop talking, Dean.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Sam sank into the chair across from me at the table.  “You and Cass…”

“No,” I said very assuredly.

Sam groaned, leaning his head back and staring up at the ceiling.  “I can’t wrap my mind around this.”

“There’s nothing to wrap around,” I said firmly.  Certainly not my thighs around Cass’s waist.  Which had been happening a lot lately and I didn’t really know how to feel about that, but now was certainly not the time to unpack all that.

Sam breathed in deeply and let it out slowly.

I suddenly felt… shame?  Or that Sam was ashamed of me?  Was that what this was?  Well, Sammy had always been ashamed of me, just more for the non-politically correctness and the alcohol and the gambling, less the sexuality thing.

He seemed to read my mind, sitting up straight and quickly sputtering out, “hey, you know I’m weirded out that it’s Cass, not ‘cause Cass is a dude, right?”

“I uh…” I trailed off, not sure how to respond.

“I mean, I know he’s been in love with you forever and all, but I always thought it was unrequited?”

“Hey, no reason to bring up the L-word,” I said, feeling supremely uncomfortable.  “Unless we’re talking Jenny Schecter,” I attempted to joke, but it was starting to feel harder to breathe for some reason.

Sam’s eyes went all puppy dog.  “I’m sorry, I’m being an ass.  I’m really happy you told me.”

“There’s nothing to tell,” I said, looking around the room at anywhere but that sympathetic face.

“Okay,” he agreed in that pacifying way of his that meant he didn’t believe me at all.  “Just know you can always talk to me?  About anything?”

“Thanks, Dr. Phil,” I said, standing up and taking my mug to the sink.  I washed it and then put it in the dish rack to dry.

Sam was still sitting at the table, wagging his little puppy dog tail at me.

I got out of there as fast as I could.

- 6 -

“Is it truly worth being upset over?” Cass mused, stroking his fingers through my hair.

I was sitting on the floor between Cass’s open legs while he sat on the couch.  It was weirdly comfortable, especially with the hair stroking and all.

Also, it was easier to talk when I didn’t have to look into his eyes.

“I’m not upset,” I explained.  “I’m… whatever, it shouldn’t have come out of my mouth.”

“Well I’m glad that he knows,” he said, nudging my cheek with his knee.

“He doesn’t know anything,” I growled.  “He thinks that we’re fucking.”

“We are fucking, Dean.”

“No, but like he thinks that we’re a couple.”

“We are a couple, Dean.”

“What?” I asked incredulously.  “We are not a couple.”

“Oh.”

I was definitely not going to turn around to see what kind of look was on his face.

Which was a mistake, because it was probably smug as fuck.

“So why are we sitting like this?” he asked, that smarminess leaking through every syllable.

“Whaddya mean, why are we sitting like this?”

“I thought physical proximity paired with intimate touches was something only shared by couples.”

“This is hardly intimate,” I tried to protest.

Cass took his touch away.

I swallowed down a whine.  I wasn’t giving him the satisfaction.

“Something wrong, Dean?”

“Shaddup,” I muttered.

He scraped his fingers through my scalp again, giving my whole body a pleasant tingle, and then he was tugging gently, guiding the back of my head to rest on his thigh.

Dammit, I was looking right into his eyes.

“Shall I do this for Sam?” he asked, arching an eyebrow at me.  The strokes of his fingers had gotten slower, more deliberate.  “As an expression of our friendship, since apparently this form of touch is completely platonic.”

I glared at him.  “Don’t be a smartass.”

“Then stop telling me that we’re not on a date, that we are not in a relationship, that you don’t feel the same way about me…”

I looked away from him.

His fingers paused, resting in my hair.  He tapped my chin with his free hand.

I let my eyes meet his again, but it was under protest.  “Why do you gotta make such a big deal about everything?”

“Because it’s a big deal to me,” he said, and I could see the hurt crinkling around his eyes.

“Cass,” I sighed, not wanting to deal with All This.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked, looking vulnerable.

I assumed that he meant the whole hair-stroking thing, but he could have been talking about anything from drinking the last of the coffee without brewing a new pot, to his recent habit of picking me up off the ground because he was too impatient to wait for me to walk to the bed.

Anyway, the answer was mostly the same.

I shook my head.

A little smile tugged at the corner of Cass’s mouth, but he didn’t look happy.

I was just the worst piece of shit sometimes.

I sat up, turning to face him better.  “Let’s go for a drive or something.”

Cass’s head tilted to the side, his expression that of a perpetually confused angel.

“We can maybe swing by the movies, see what’s playing?” I suggested, waiting for understanding to dawn.

It took a little longer than I hoped, but when it did, Cass’s smile seemed to light up his face.  “I’d like that,” he agreed, not even mentioning the D-word.

I decided to change since we were going out, so I upgraded my holy jeans for slightly less-holy jeans, and tugged on a clean t-shirt.

“You look nice,” Cass said as we walked to the garage.

He just said it so casually that it made me tongue-tied.  “Thanks,” was all I could manage to get out.

I wasn’t going to return the compliment.  Not that Cass didn’t look nice, because he kind of looked amazing out of the trenchcoat and into his own jeans and t-shirt, but there was absolutely no reason to tell another dude how ‘nice’ he looked, even if he…

“You look good,” I murmured into Cass’s ear before strapping on my seatbelt and keeping my eyes laser-focused in front of me.

Cass seemed pleased, and we could all just leave it at that.

I let him pick the movie, which was probably a mistake, because of course he picked a chick flick no matter how much I tried to teach him the ways of having good taste in movies.  But it was kind of a weird chick flick with a surprising amount of action, and it was more about mothers and daughters than about romance, which wasn’t anything I could relate to, but it was kinda interesting despite the theater being mostly empty.

Cass and I got the last row to ourselves, so it didn’t feel so weird to keep my arm over the back of his seat, or to share my coke with him even though it only had one straw.

No one was watching us.

No one cared.

Cass was watching the credits with the same delighted expression he’d had plastered on his face through the entire movie.

I leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth.

His smiled widened.

As we walked back towards the lobby to toss our trash, I let the back of my hand brush against his.

It was the stupid movie’s fault.

“I really enjoyed it,” Cass said cheerfully, pushing the empty popcorn cup into the trash.

“It didn’t suck like I thought it would,” I agreed.

“You could just say that you liked it.”

I sighed, holding the door open for him.  “I liked it,” I admitted with a roll of my eyes.

“See?” Cass said, looking pleased.

“Whatever,” I muttered.  I pulled my keys from my pocket and unlocked Baby.

“It is not ‘whatever’, Dean, it is ‘yes, Castiel, you’re right’,” he said, doing an impression of me that was really just his regular voice and a frown.

“Ha,” I replied, sliding into the front seat.

“I know you,” he continued to complain as he sat down next to me, strapping on his seat belt.  “I know the things you don’t allow yourself to like.”

“Thanks, Carl Jung, but I’d rather get laid than psychoanalyzed on a date,” I grumbled.

Oh.

Cass didn’t say anything, but I could see that damn smirk out of the corner of my eye.

Couldn’t take the d-word back now, just had to make sure it didn’t happen again.

It wasn’t going to happen again.

It absolutely, positively wasn’t going to happen again.

- 7 -

Sam had found us a case, so we were all sitting in the library, reading ancient tomes about friggin’ centaurs.

“I mean, they’re basically talking horses,” I complained.  “Do we really gotta take out Mr. Ed?”

“Three people are dead, Dean,” Sam informed me in his bitchiest tone.

“Yeah, three dude-bro assholes,” I pointed out.

“Perhaps we can find a way to take them back to Thessaly,” Cass suggested.

“See,” I said, gesturing to Sam.

He just rolled his eyes at me, before burying his nose in his book again.

He’d kinda been doing that all night.

It was the first time the three of us were all together since my diarrhea of the mouth the other day, and I couldn’t help but wonder…

Cass caught me looking at Sam anxiously, and he nudged my foot with his under the table.

I’d taught him that move.  I did it to him when he was in his head about something.

He mouthed something at me.

I frowned.

‘He doesn’t care,’ he mouthed more slowly.

‘How do you know?’ I prayed at him.

‘We talked,’ he mouthed, like that was supposed to give me any comfort.

“What, so you two are conspiring behind my back now?” I growled.

Sam looked up from his book, shooting a nervous glance between me and Cass.

“Why are you such a dramatic queen?” Cass asked.

Sam guffawed at that.

“It’s ‘drama’ queen,” I groaned.

“That, too,” Cass agreed.

Sam guffawed more loudly.

I did not like this.

I did not like this at all.

I slammed my book shut and stood up rapidly.

“Dean.”

Cass’s voice was soothing, like he was talking to a frightened animal.

Abort.

A strong hand caught my arm as I rounded the table.

“I apologize, my teasing was inappropriate,” Cass offered.  “Stay.”

Sam opened his mouth to say something, took one look at Cass, and shut it again.

Interesting…

But I was still in fight-or-flight, and Cass was really friggin’ strong, no matter how hard I nonchalantly tried to escape his grip.

“Dean, the case…” Sam finally put in lamely.

“I think you two nerds got it covered.”

“Yes, but we enjoy your company,” Cass said matter-of-factly.

“Yeah?  This ball of sunshine?” I asked.

“I certainly wouldn’t call you that,” he said, wrinkling his nose.  “That would be… hot and unpleasant.”

I wanted to make a dirty joke, but I was keenly aware that Sammy was sitting right there.

Which was stupid.

Because I loved making dirty jokes in front of Sam, since he either laughed along with me or was a complete priss and got all put out, which was equally hilarious.

So why couldn’t I…?

“I’m not gay,” I blurted out.

The matching looks of sympathy I received for that verbal diarrhea only served to set me more on edge.

I started backing away.  “I’m not,” I insisted.

“No one said that you were,” Cass said gently.

I turned to glare at Sam.  “He says it with his eyes.”

“What?” he bristled at me.  “Dude, I never-”

“I read ya loud and clear,” I said, glaring harder.

“Dean, it’s Sam,” Cass said, sounding exasperated.

I looked at him, ready to go off, but those damn eyes batted up at me, and then I was turning into a pathetic ball of mush.  “Yeah, it’s Sam,” I said in a much more broken tone than I intended.

And Cass got it immediately, giving me the most puppy dog eyes of all puppy dog eyes.  “Dean, he doesn’t think any less of you.”

I scoffed at that.

“Is that what you think?” Sam cut in, giving Cass a run for his money on who had the most pathetic puppy dog eyes.

“Whatever, man,” I muttered.  “‘Overcompensating’.  That’s the word, right?  Dean, the giant fairy?”

And Sam looked guilty, proving my point exactly.

I moved to leave.

“I’m an ass,” Sam declared.

“Yeah, well,” I agreed.

“I didn’t… I’m an ass,” he reasserted.  “I know we joke around and stuff, but I shouldn’t… there’s just some things you don’t say, and I get that now.”

“Whatever,” I muttered, not sure of how much more of this kumbayah bullshit I could take.  “I don’t care.”

Sam and Cass exchanged long-suffering looks.

I narrowed my eyes at them, but Cass was using his angelic strength to tug me into the chair next to him.

“Look, if I had known that you really were-” Sam tried to say.

“I really was what?” I asked, my voice dropping about an octave to Threat Threat Abort Abort.

Samuel did not get the message.

“You know, that you’re-”

I glanced at Cass.  “Did you just kick him under the table?”

“No,” he deadpanned at me.

I felt myself start to smile.

“I’m glad that you’re enjoying my pain,” Sam muttered, his face all scrunched up.

It was less about Sam and more about Cass, but he didn’t need to know that.  Because yes, kicking people was always funny.

I kind of wanted to kiss Cass, but that would be weird.

“Can you just not make a big deal out of everything?” I settled on.

“How am I-”

“We don’t have to have a Winchester hug-it-out moment over me and Cass fucking, okay?”

“It’s not about-”

“I’m bi, okay?  Not gay.”

Sam looked relieved.  “Okay.”

“Cass and I don’t do gay stuff,” I explained.

“…what…?” Sam asked, looking panicked again.

Cass sighed loudly.

I ignored them both, flipping open a book.

“No, I’m sorry, you’re gonna hafta explain that one,” Sam complained.

“Do you want the sordid details of our sex life?” I asked, not looking up because I really didn’t want to look at either one of them at the moment.

“God, no,” he said, “but… I mean, you’re two dudes, so…”

“We don’t do butt stuff,” I explained succinctly.  That should cover it.

“Um, I’m really going to regret asking this, but um… what do you do then?  To have uh non-gay sex?”

“We do dick stuff,” I said, because duh, obviously.

I couldn’t see his face, but I could still feel the contortions he was putting it through before he finally said, “so uh, no, wait, sorry, um… what?”

I had really failed Sammy on sex education, which was kind of embarrassing, but more on his part, because honestly, I’d educated him plenty and he’d just covered his ears and did his best not to listen.

“We do stuff like you do with a chick,” I explained.  “Just, there’s two dicks instead of a chick.”

“But the two dicks together are not… gay…?” Sam tried to reason out.

“Exactly,” I said.

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered under his breath.

“It says here that centaurs do not handle their wine very well,” Cass put in.

“So you want us to party with them?” I asked, happy to move away from my conversation with Sam and back to the supernatural.

“Well, it could perhaps serve as a distraction,” he reasoned.

Sam still looked like he was having a coronary, but everything was back on track.

[topfygad]

3 Day Itinerary to Verona and Lake Garda

Of all the destinations in Italy, Verona and Lake Garda are often overlooked. I didn’t regret at all choosing these cities for my visit. Through this itinerary, you can enjoy the best of Verona and Lake Garda in just 3 days!

The view of Monte Baldo from San Felice in Lake Garda

About Verona & Lake Garda

When choosing cities to visit in Italy, Verona may not be most people’s top choice. Relatively close to other bigger cities like Milan and Venice, small enough to be explored within a short period, this city would be perfect to be included in your next Italian bucketlist. The city has all the historical venues, romantic places, and serves as a gateway to an even more wonderful destination, Lake Garda.

Despite being the biggest lake in Italy, it is still less famous and touristy than its neighbor, Lake Como. This doesn’t mean that this lake is any less beautiful. There are several towns surrounding this lake, Sirmione, Salo, Riva—to name a few. Upon your visit, you can pick to stay at one of these towns.

About This Itinerary

This itinerary was inspired by my visit to this area last September. Obviously, the great thing about visiting on the shoulder season is that it’s less crowded and expensive, but we can still enjoy the wonderful weather. In Verona, it was still very humid and hot especially during the day. While in Lake Garda, the temperature was mostly great and sunny even though it gets misty in the morning and night.

You can easily swap out the days between exploring Verona and Lake Garda, whether you prefer to visit Verona at the beginning or at the end of your 3-day stay. This itinerary will focus on the south-western part of Lake Garda (Gardone Riviera to Peschiera).

How to get to and around Verona & Lake Garda

Verona is a very accessible city. You can come either by plane, train or bus from other cities in or outside of Europe.

Verona Porta Nuova train station

By Plane

There are several non-European flights coming into Verona Villafranca Airport, such as from Egypt, Tunisia, and Israel. Other than that, most of the flights are coming from within Europe.

From the airport, you can take Bus 199 to Verona Stazione FS then continue to the city center. There is no direct transit from the airport to Lake Garda, so you will need to take Bus 199 first.

By Train

The train from all over Italy and other countries will stop at Verona Porta Nuova. The train station is located comfortably in the city center, so you can continue on foot or by short bus ride.

If you plan to continue directly to Lake Garda, you can buy a train ticket (Trenitalia/Trenord) to Peschiera or Desenzano, which is on the south of the lake.

Scenic drive from Verona to Lake Garda

By Bus

The main bus station is Verona Stazione FS which is just outside Verona Porta Nuova, you can check the bus schedules and routes here.

By Car

If you want to do a road trip from another European city, Verona & Lake Garda are just north of the A4 and west of the A22 autostrada. Prepare the money for the autostrada.

This is also the most convenient way to explore Lake Garda, but expect heavier traffic and more crowded parking areas during summer months.

Verona and Lake Garda Itinerary

Day 1

Breakfast around Piazza Bra

The best way to enter Verona in style is through I Portoni della Bra, which will lead you to Piazza Bra. This arc is relatively a new one because in ancient time, the entrance to Verona is through Porta Borsari.

I Portoni della Bra

In this piazza you will find some notable buildings around the area, namely Arena di Verona and Palazzo Barbieri. You will also find a lot of restaurants, cafes, and gelato shops, but the one right on the piazza is very expensive. You can walk around the smaller streets and see a café that you like. My recommendation is Caffè Dersut a short walk to via Roma. After a cup of coffee and a brioche, enjoy the morning sun a bit more before heading towards other sites.

Arena di Verona

This looks like a smaller version of the Colosseum, but nothing less impressive. This amphitheater is also still very well preserved. Nowadays, the arena is used for concerts, opera performances and orchestra-philharmonic that attract visitors from around the world. If you happen to be in Verona in June 2020, make sure you come to the Opera Festival.

Right in front of the Arena, there is a statue of Vittorio Emanuele II, the first King of united Italy who assumes nickname of Padre de la Patria (Father of the Fatherland). There is also Palazzo Barbieri on the other side, which is now a city hall building. This part of town is usually very crowded, so always watch your belongings.

Juliet’s Balcony

Casa di Giulietta

Only a short (confusing) walk from the Arena, you will find the other main attraction of this city. Juliet’s House is always overcrowded with tourists . Inside, you will find Juliet’s statue and the famous balcony. On the entrance, the wall is plastered with love letters from people all over the world who pours out their feeling in writing to (fictional) Juliet.

If you’re confused how can one send a letter to a fictional person, you’re not alone. The letters are actually handled by “Secretaries of Juliet” from Club di Giulietta, which is funded by the township of Verona. You can actually sign up to be one or book with them to read archive of these letters.

The crowd at Piazza delle Erbe

Lunch around Piazza delle Erbe

After wrestling your way in and out of Juliet’s House, it would be nice to have a good lunch. Next Piazza to visit is only few minutes away. This Piazza was a forum back in ancient Roman days and now people still gather here around the square.

I would recommend Sapore Pizza. Even though I don’t really like typical thick northern Italian pizza, I found the pizza delicious and very affordable. You can also have some dessert, go get a gelato! Gelateria Imperio would be my go-to gelato place at the piazza.

Stroll around Centro Storico and enjoy Adige River view

Enjoy your chilly treat and continue walking around. On the north of the Piazza there is Torre dei Lamberti, where you can climb the tower (either by stairs or elevator) and enjoy bird’s eye view of Verona. If you walk towards the north, you will end up at Verona Cathedral and Ponte Pietra, which are great places to see as well.

Aside from being very pedestrian-friendly, the narrow streets of Verona to are very picturesque. Why don’t you stop a bit and take some pictures?

Adige River in Verona

Getting to Lake Garda from Verona

You have finished exploring the whole Verona city center in just a day! Next you can choose to drive or take train/bus to Lake Garda and enjoy the sunset on the way, or you can stay in Verona for the night and head there in the morning.

Day 2

Exploring Gardone Riviera

After having breakfast, we can explore the western part of the lake. The must-visit attraction is this impressive lakeside estate called Vittoriale degli Italiani.

The Italian writer Gabriele d’Annunzio once lived in one of the buildings in this estate. The estate comprises a villa, an amphitheater, a cruiser, and a boathouse. During your visit, you will learn about the history of this estate and be given an amazing view of the lake. You can book your ticket in advance on their site, it costs EUR8 for the non-guided tour.

Boat trip around Lake Garda

Picnic, Sunbathing and Boat Trip

If you have not had enough amazing view of the lake, drive south a little bit to San Felice. There are various beaches along the lake but this one is definitely my favorite. You can stop by the supermarket to buy picnic supplies, lay down a mat or towel by the lake and enjoy the sun! This beach is especially hectic during the summer months.

Want to take it up a notch? There is Garda Boat Rental along the beach where you can rent a boat for half a day (4 hours) and go around the lake a little bit. The afternoon is best as the morning mist is gone, you can enjoy the view of Monte Baldo on the other side and the castle at Isola del Garda. The small boat can take up to 7 passengers and only costs around EUR120 on shoulder to low season!

You can find affordable lakefront restaurants in some parts of Lake Garda

Dinner at Desenzano

After a great day by the water, it’s time for amazing dinner. Most of the restaurants around Lake Garda are expensive, especially ones in front of the lake. I would recommend Santa, it is one of the more affordable restaurants in front of the lake. It has an amazing view, awesome food, friendly and quick service despite being a busy night there.

As Lake Garda is more catered towards families and honeymooners, there is barely any nightlife here. So enjoy some restful night before more adventure on the next day.

Day 3

Rocca Scaligera & Grotte di Catullo

In the morning, we drive to Sirmione, which is the peninsula in the south of Lake Garda. There are plenty of attractions in Sirmione, but there are two that you shouldn’t miss. The first one is Rocca Scaligera (Scaligero Castle), a fortified port that was built in 13th century by the Scaliger Family of Verona, which is said to be the most well-conserved in the country. If you look at Lake Garda pictures on Instagram, there are plenty of drone shots because the panoramic view of this place is incredible. If you decide to enter, there is a museum that houses medieval artifacts inside.

Scaligero Castle of Sirmione

The second site is called Grotte di Catullo. You should visit this site If you enjoyed or wanted to visit Pompeii. Surrounded by olive groves, this ancient Roman villa was constructed in 1st century AD and still well-preserved until this day. Enjoy the amazing view of Lake Garda from the ruins of the villa, which also has a museum in it. This site also serves as the set for Call Me By Your Name movie.

The ticket price is EUR14 for the castle, ruins & museum combo. It opens for longer hours during summer, even though the museum only opens until 2pm. These places are closed every Monday, January 1st, May 1st, and December 25th.

Winery tour around Sirmione

Lake Garda region is the northernmost Mediterranean climate in Italy, so it is mild enough to cultivate grapes, olives and citrus trees. Make sure you do a wine tasting or winery tour during your visit. The area is known for its Bardolino, a light red and Chiaretto Rosato, an even lighter and refreshing white.

There are so many wineries and tour operators offering winery tour, pick one that suits your preference, including whether you would like to be picked up at your accommodation, whether you would like the one that includes food, etc. My only advise would be, don’t drink and drive!

Wine Tasting around Lake Garda

The price for a tasting could range pretty significantly between one winery and the other, as well as the tasting menu. I would recommend Onepiò, they offer from light wine tasting (three kinds of wine and breadsticks) all the way to platinum wine tasting (eight kinds of wine and variants of Italian chocolate).

Dinner & going back to Verona

If you still want to get dinner around Lake Garda, there are plenty of good restaurants in Sirmione and Peschiera. I discovered Pasta Salame in Peschiera, a restaurant with a simple menu that is less touristy, very affordable and tastes really good. If you still have room for dessert, make sure to try their tiramisu.

How to Travel to Verona & Lake Garda on a Budget

Lake Garda has been known as the summer destination for the elites, even in medieval times. With some tweaks and planning (and a lot of research) you will be able to stay in these cities without spending too much.

Accommodation Verona & Lake Garda

When picking a place to stay in Verona, pick accommodation right in the city center (Cittadella, Citta Antica) so you will be able to walk to all the important attractions.

To pick a place to stay in Lake Garda, that would depend on the mode of transportation you have. If you depend on public transportation, I would advise staying closer to the lakeside so you can walk to the lake without spending too much on bus ticket. If you rent a car, you can stay a bit further from the lakeside for cheaper, nicer accommodation.

Finding cheap and awesome accommodations around Lake Garda is not too difficult

We stayed at a wonderful villa in Puegnago, with free breakfast, bathtub, huge pool and amazing (farther) view of the lake for only EUR120 per night. In comparison, similar place in Desenzano costs at least EUR205 per night. If you want more simple room, you could definitely get one for a lot cheaper.

Food in Verona & Lake Garda

If you’re not too fussy about food, there are plenty of food stalls that offers delicious sliced pizza and panini for a really low price. Just take the food and eat at a park or back at your accommodation. If you want some pasta, you should try to find places where they offer a more simple menu and most locals go. You can also buy supplies at the supermarket (the local ones are called “Alimentari”) and wine bottles for a really cheap price before visiting an attraction.

Attractions in Verona & Lake Garda

Most of the attractions in Verona are free. The views in both Lake Garda and Verona are amazing, so you don’t really have to pay for anything. The attractions I mentioned above are totally worth it for a small amount of money, but you can totally skip them and still having a good time!

When to Visit Verona & Lake Garda

As you have guessed, visiting during the summer months will make everything more expensive. I highly suggest visiting in May, September or October. In winter months the region gets cold and in Lake Garda, it may get foggy. But if you love winter sports, you can go high altitude skiing on Monte Baldo or go for a thermal bath in Sirmione.

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This post was originally published in October 2019

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[topfygad]

3 Day Itinerary to Verona and Lake Garda

Of all the destinations in Italy, Verona and Lake Garda are often overlooked. I didn’t regret at all choosing these cities for my visit. Through this itinerary, you can enjoy the best of Verona and Lake Garda in just 3 days!

The view of Monte Baldo from San Felice in Lake Garda

About Verona & Lake Garda

When choosing cities to visit in Italy, Verona may not be most people’s top choice. Relatively close to other bigger cities like Milan and Venice, small enough to be explored within a short period, this city would be perfect to be included in your next Italian bucketlist. The city has all the historical venues, romantic places, and serves as a gateway to an even more wonderful destination, Lake Garda.

Despite being the biggest lake in Italy, it is still less famous and touristy than its neighbor, Lake Como. This doesn’t mean that this lake is any less beautiful. There are several towns surrounding this lake, Sirmione, Salo, Riva—to name a few. Upon your visit, you can pick to stay at one of these towns.

About This Itinerary

This itinerary was inspired by my visit to this area last September. Obviously, the great thing about visiting on the shoulder season is that it’s less crowded and expensive, but we can still enjoy the wonderful weather. In Verona, it was still very humid and hot especially during the day. While in Lake Garda, the temperature was mostly great and sunny even though it gets misty in the morning and night.

You can easily swap out the days between exploring Verona and Lake Garda, whether you prefer to visit Verona at the beginning or at the end of your 3-day stay. This itinerary will focus on the south-western part of Lake Garda (Gardone Riviera to Peschiera).

How to get to and around Verona & Lake Garda

Verona is a very accessible city. You can come either by plane, train or bus from other cities in or outside of Europe.

Verona Porta Nuova train station

By Plane

There are several non-European flights coming into Verona Villafranca Airport, such as from Egypt, Tunisia, and Israel. Other than that, most of the flights are coming from within Europe.

From the airport, you can take Bus 199 to Verona Stazione FS then continue to the city center. There is no direct transit from the airport to Lake Garda, so you will need to take Bus 199 first.

By Train

The train from all over Italy and other countries will stop at Verona Porta Nuova. The train station is located comfortably in the city center, so you can continue on foot or by short bus ride.

If you plan to continue directly to Lake Garda, you can buy a train ticket (Trenitalia/Trenord) to Peschiera or Desenzano, which is on the south of the lake.

Scenic drive from Verona to Lake Garda

By Bus

The main bus station is Verona Stazione FS which is just outside Verona Porta Nuova, you can check the bus schedules and routes here.

By Car

If you want to do a road trip from another European city, Verona & Lake Garda are just north of the A4 and west of the A22 autostrada. Prepare the money for the autostrada.

This is also the most convenient way to explore Lake Garda, but expect heavier traffic and more crowded parking areas during summer months.

Verona and Lake Garda Itinerary

Day 1

Breakfast around Piazza Bra

The best way to enter Verona in style is through I Portoni della Bra, which will lead you to Piazza Bra. This arc is relatively a new one because in ancient time, the entrance to Verona is through Porta Borsari.

I Portoni della Bra

In this piazza you will find some notable buildings around the area, namely Arena di Verona and Palazzo Barbieri. You will also find a lot of restaurants, cafes, and gelato shops, but the one right on the piazza is very expensive. You can walk around the smaller streets and see a café that you like. My recommendation is Caffè Dersut a short walk to via Roma. After a cup of coffee and a brioche, enjoy the morning sun a bit more before heading towards other sites.

Arena di Verona

This looks like a smaller version of the Colosseum, but nothing less impressive. This amphitheater is also still very well preserved. Nowadays, the arena is used for concerts, opera performances and orchestra-philharmonic that attract visitors from around the world. If you happen to be in Verona in June 2020, make sure you come to the Opera Festival.

Right in front of the Arena, there is a statue of Vittorio Emanuele II, the first King of united Italy who assumes nickname of Padre de la Patria (Father of the Fatherland). There is also Palazzo Barbieri on the other side, which is now a city hall building. This part of town is usually very crowded, so always watch your belongings.

Juliet’s Balcony

Casa di Giulietta

Only a short (confusing) walk from the Arena, you will find the other main attraction of this city. Juliet’s House is always overcrowded with tourists . Inside, you will find Juliet’s statue and the famous balcony. On the entrance, the wall is plastered with love letters from people all over the world who pours out their feeling in writing to (fictional) Juliet.

If you’re confused how can one send a letter to a fictional person, you’re not alone. The letters are actually handled by “Secretaries of Juliet” from Club di Giulietta, which is funded by the township of Verona. You can actually sign up to be one or book with them to read archive of these letters.

The crowd at Piazza delle Erbe

Lunch around Piazza delle Erbe

After wrestling your way in and out of Juliet’s House, it would be nice to have a good lunch. Next Piazza to visit is only few minutes away. This Piazza was a forum back in ancient Roman days and now people still gather here around the square.

I would recommend Sapore Pizza. Even though I don’t really like typical thick northern Italian pizza, I found the pizza delicious and very affordable. You can also have some dessert, go get a gelato! Gelateria Imperio would be my go-to gelato place at the piazza.

Stroll around Centro Storico and enjoy Adige River view

Enjoy your chilly treat and continue walking around. On the north of the Piazza there is Torre dei Lamberti, where you can climb the tower (either by stairs or elevator) and enjoy bird’s eye view of Verona. If you walk towards the north, you will end up at Verona Cathedral and Ponte Pietra, which are great places to see as well.

Aside from being very pedestrian-friendly, the narrow streets of Verona to are very picturesque. Why don’t you stop a bit and take some pictures?

Adige River in Verona

Getting to Lake Garda from Verona

You have finished exploring the whole Verona city center in just a day! Next you can choose to drive or take train/bus to Lake Garda and enjoy the sunset on the way, or you can stay in Verona for the night and head there in the morning.

Day 2

Exploring Gardone Riviera

After having breakfast, we can explore the western part of the lake. The must-visit attraction is this impressive lakeside estate called Vittoriale degli Italiani.

The Italian writer Gabriele d’Annunzio once lived in one of the buildings in this estate. The estate comprises a villa, an amphitheater, a cruiser, and a boathouse. During your visit, you will learn about the history of this estate and be given an amazing view of the lake. You can book your ticket in advance on their site, it costs EUR8 for the non-guided tour.

Boat trip around Lake Garda

Picnic, Sunbathing and Boat Trip

If you have not had enough amazing view of the lake, drive south a little bit to San Felice. There are various beaches along the lake but this one is definitely my favorite. You can stop by the supermarket to buy picnic supplies, lay down a mat or towel by the lake and enjoy the sun! This beach is especially hectic during the summer months.

Want to take it up a notch? There is Garda Boat Rental along the beach where you can rent a boat for half a day (4 hours) and go around the lake a little bit. The afternoon is best as the morning mist is gone, you can enjoy the view of Monte Baldo on the other side and the castle at Isola del Garda. The small boat can take up to 7 passengers and only costs around EUR120 on shoulder to low season!

You can find affordable lakefront restaurants in some parts of Lake Garda

Dinner at Desenzano

After a great day by the water, it’s time for amazing dinner. Most of the restaurants around Lake Garda are expensive, especially ones in front of the lake. I would recommend Santa, it is one of the more affordable restaurants in front of the lake. It has an amazing view, awesome food, friendly and quick service despite being a busy night there.

As Lake Garda is more catered towards families and honeymooners, there is barely any nightlife here. So enjoy some restful night before more adventure on the next day.

Day 3

Rocca Scaligera & Grotte di Catullo

In the morning, we drive to Sirmione, which is the peninsula in the south of Lake Garda. There are plenty of attractions in Sirmione, but there are two that you shouldn’t miss. The first one is Rocca Scaligera (Scaligero Castle), a fortified port that was built in 13th century by the Scaliger Family of Verona, which is said to be the most well-conserved in the country. If you look at Lake Garda pictures on Instagram, there are plenty of drone shots because the panoramic view of this place is incredible. If you decide to enter, there is a museum that houses medieval artifacts inside.

Scaligero Castle of Sirmione

The second site is called Grotte di Catullo. You should visit this site If you enjoyed or wanted to visit Pompeii. Surrounded by olive groves, this ancient Roman villa was constructed in 1st century AD and still well-preserved until this day. Enjoy the amazing view of Lake Garda from the ruins of the villa, which also has a museum in it. This site also serves as the set for Call Me By Your Name movie.

The ticket price is EUR14 for the castle, ruins & museum combo. It opens for longer hours during summer, even though the museum only opens until 2pm. These places are closed every Monday, January 1st, May 1st, and December 25th.

Winery tour around Sirmione

Lake Garda region is the northernmost Mediterranean climate in Italy, so it is mild enough to cultivate grapes, olives and citrus trees. Make sure you do a wine tasting or winery tour during your visit. The area is known for its Bardolino, a light red and Chiaretto Rosato, an even lighter and refreshing white.

There are so many wineries and tour operators offering winery tour, pick one that suits your preference, including whether you would like to be picked up at your accommodation, whether you would like the one that includes food, etc. My only advise would be, don’t drink and drive!

Wine Tasting around Lake Garda

The price for a tasting could range pretty significantly between one winery and the other, as well as the tasting menu. I would recommend Onepiò, they offer from light wine tasting (three kinds of wine and breadsticks) all the way to platinum wine tasting (eight kinds of wine and variants of Italian chocolate).

Dinner & going back to Verona

If you still want to get dinner around Lake Garda, there are plenty of good restaurants in Sirmione and Peschiera. I discovered Pasta Salame in Peschiera, a restaurant with a simple menu that is less touristy, very affordable and tastes really good. If you still have room for dessert, make sure to try their tiramisu.

How to Travel to Verona & Lake Garda on a Budget

Lake Garda has been known as the summer destination for the elites, even in medieval times. With some tweaks and planning (and a lot of research) you will be able to stay in these cities without spending too much.

Accommodation Verona & Lake Garda

When picking a place to stay in Verona, pick accommodation right in the city center (Cittadella, Citta Antica) so you will be able to walk to all the important attractions.

To pick a place to stay in Lake Garda, that would depend on the mode of transportation you have. If you depend on public transportation, I would advise staying closer to the lakeside so you can walk to the lake without spending too much on bus ticket. If you rent a car, you can stay a bit further from the lakeside for cheaper, nicer accommodation.

Finding cheap and awesome accommodations around Lake Garda is not too difficult

We stayed at a wonderful villa in Puegnago, with free breakfast, bathtub, huge pool and amazing (farther) view of the lake for only EUR120 per night. In comparison, similar place in Desenzano costs at least EUR205 per night. If you want more simple room, you could definitely get one for a lot cheaper.

Food in Verona & Lake Garda

If you’re not too fussy about food, there are plenty of food stalls that offers delicious sliced pizza and panini for a really low price. Just take the food and eat at a park or back at your accommodation. If you want some pasta, you should try to find places where they offer a more simple menu and most locals go. You can also buy supplies at the supermarket (the local ones are called “Alimentari”) and wine bottles for a really cheap price before visiting an attraction.

Attractions in Verona & Lake Garda

Most of the attractions in Verona are free. The views in both Lake Garda and Verona are amazing, so you don’t really have to pay for anything. The attractions I mentioned above are totally worth it for a small amount of money, but you can totally skip them and still having a good time!

When to Visit Verona & Lake Garda

As you have guessed, visiting during the summer months will make everything more expensive. I highly suggest visiting in May, September or October. In winter months the region gets cold and in Lake Garda, it may get foggy. But if you love winter sports, you can go high altitude skiing on Monte Baldo or go for a thermal bath in Sirmione.

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This post was originally published in October 2019

source http://cheaprtravels.com/3-day-itinerary-to-verona-and-lake-garda/