#isnt the point of our art to connect to others? to love them? to spend time with them??

[deoidesign]

I've been told my comic feels like it was written by AI.

I suppose I'm not trying to be groundbreaking. I'm not interested in pioneering genres. I'm not writing for the purpose of literary analysis.

But written by AI...?

I'm already someone who has my humanity questioned. My identity erased. My existence disrespected. It could be worse. Anything could be worse.

But AI?

I spend weeks writing single scenes, toiling over the implications of single lines. I have goals. My writing has intent.

If you cared to read deeper, perhaps you'd see the themes. Maybe then you'd see the value. If you tried to analyze it maybe you'd see something there.

Maybe you'd see me.

Someone told me my comic seemed like it was written by AI.

And my humanity was denied one step further in that my voice was not seen in the work I've poured years of my life into.

[kingofthewilderwest]

it kinda bugs me how they cant make httyd3 longer just so they can emphasize the story in a deeper meaning, like your post abt it being disproportionate. httyd3 had a LOT more plot than httyd2 and we can already see how it has to cramp so much and why that makes D2's pace felt pretty fast. the structure of the story is actually well planned.. perfect, to be exact! but the execution like putting pauses, necessary humor, longer dialogue, is whats needed to make it um, understandable? im not sure..

this isnt meant to judge the movie as bad though! but its a question ive been asking why they cant do it longer, for that sake. is it the budget? was Dean really certain the script is okay? or is it meant to be like this so people can interpret the movie their way? (oof that one is confusing).. i dont know, i want to ask about your thoughts on that >

From this.

It’s an interesting conversation for sure! I believe that THW doesn’t have to be longer to be extremely successful in the ideas it needs to convey! The core ideas being:

Toothless cannot be a wild dragon and strong alpha leader with humans. Other dragons probably deserve the respect of needing wild dragon needs, too.

Humans like Grimmel are extremely dangerous to dragons and will continue to arise, so dragons need to go to an area separate from humans to live in optimal peace.

Hiccup and Toothless’ powerful friendship will separate (insofar as physical location) due to the first two points

I know you’re not the only person I’ve talked to who wanted a longer time because you feel like certain elements were cramped, needed more breathing room, or that dangerous plot points didn’t get enough sense of weight. More time would presumably give that flow and sense of scale and danger. Now, it’s true that more time would give us more content to develop these things. That said, I believe solutions aren’t always “add more.” Creating good art isn’t about adding new things; it’s about knowing when to take away or alter, and how to make every second of your creation count optimally.

I remember when I was doing my music composition degree, my instructors hammered into me what would make a good final piece: the editing process of deleting measures - even measures that were really good! - because they didn’t fit what the final product needed. It’s painful to delete, but ultimately, it’s freeing; instead of making a music piece more cluttered to put all possible good ideas in, I can make it less cluttered, more manageable, more beautiful, more meaningful, and more effective to audiences. A better overall piece isn’t putting in every good idea I have; it’s leaving the piece with the beautiful ideas it needs.

I suggest The Hidden World doesn’t need added materials so much as it needs refining what’s already there.

Budget, production green lighting, and carefulness to the script all seem to have been done. HTTYD 3 was given a longer production time than originally planned. They pushed back the date exactly so they could make their best product. Interviews with people like DeBlois and Spielberg (who read several definitions of the script) talk about how much the script was transformed and bettered through its drafts. They did enough tweaking and care to rework the script. As for budget, the movie was 129 million USD, which sure was the cheapest of the HTTYD trilogy to create, but it’s about on par with what DreamWorks has spent on other movies like Home and Trolls - it’s not like there was skimping - and it’s all about making your money count, which I think this glorious, top notch animation quality film effectively did. So from what I’ve heard, I think production ran fine and we can’t question THW there.

I think most of THW’s problems can be solved simply by tweaking how scenes go down, taking a few small elements out, and adding a few small elements in. It doesn’t need time changes; it needs internal modifications to what’s already there. What I propose wouldn’t change much of the movie’s length - though maybe I we could add 5-8 minutes for things like a longer climax.

1. To Feel Less “Cluttered” or “Rushed”

The movie didn’t feel rushed to me or too cluttered, but it’s cluttered. You’re right. In addition to creating less clutter, my suggested tweaks will clear up time THW can spend elsewhere, streamline THW into fewer palatable essential ideas, and give a slight tone makeover that will add more sense of danger and conflict that THW needs.

Fewer humor side gags with minor characters (and less time spent on them). The gang’s antics are fun additions, yes, but that doesn’t mean they’re central to what the plot needs. Spending too much time with them adds clutter and takes away from plot-central, tone-central material. There’s a huge gaggle of gags in THW, more than any movie needs in a less-than-two-hour-long run time. Do we need all these to give THW its comic relief? Don’t get me wrong - I loved the humor - but time needs to be prioritized, and the movie will be improved once “less is more.”

Less time with Tuffnut’s pep talks. This goes with my first point. This comedic gag was lengthy in particular. It’s in part because it connects to the idea of Hiccstrid marrying, which THW does make more central in its themes. However, I also propose:

Spend less time (or delete) the will-they won’t-they marry Hiccstrid plot. THW intends to parallel Hiccup and Toothless maturing into adulthood, including their romantic connections. However, a will-they won’t-they marry subplot in Hiccstrid isn’t needed to create that parallel. Not to mention: it can be uncomfortable to have this undertone of romance as “required” adulthood maturation, and the fact that Hiccstrid are so close and intimate makes it feel “off” that they’re so uncomfortable talking about marriage. Spend less time here, simply make fans aware they’re going to marry in the future but not today, and return to the main relationships THW needs to pay attention to: that of Hicctooth and Nightlight. 

2. To Make Grimmel a Greater Sense of Threat

One of the central points is that Grimmel is extremely dangerous and represents one of many humans that’ll continue to be a threat to dragons. While Grimmel can be overcome, Hiccup will need to interact with Grimmel in such a way he can understand that dragons and humans cannot coexist in today’s civilization without continuing to risk danger, and that it’s best for everyone to live happily in two separate civilizations. It’s not being defeated by the enemy’s oppression, but taking a brilliant countermeasure to give humans and dragons both a better existence.

Making Grimmel feel like a greater sense of threat, and helping audience members understand what Grimmel represents overarchingly of humanity’s current antagonistic state, will help us and Hiccup process why a separation is best. This can be done by:

Show Grimmel’s impact on human society. All we’d have to do is change what his base looks like: it could be located in an area taken over from another human civilization, showing his army’s power and place in this world over humans.

Greater weight placed on Berk’s exodus. The Hooligans lost their home, but it’s played too lightly. It’s not written optimally as an emotionally impacting or destabilizing moment, which decreases the sense of threat Grimmel has. Instead of having the Hooligans excited to find New Berk, show them grieving. They can butt against Hiccup’s ideas of finding the Hidden World, but instead in a way where they’re frustrated at his naive solution and hurt at what they left behind. This isn’t adding time to THW; this is tweaking phraseology and presenting an event differently.

Change how Berk is abandoned. To make the attack feel more dire, threatening, either: 1. Have the Hooligans more reluctant and grumpy to leave in the town meeting, and not play the leaving scene so lightly, or 2. Have Grimmel chase them out of Berk so they have to flee then and there. This might even reduce time! 

Show Grimmel’s power over dragons. We could have a few-second-long flashback of him standing over a field of dead Night Fury bodies, or have his place cloaked in dragon skins or skulls. 

Show Grimmel’s power as a warlord. Grimmel acts in almost a solo fashion, despite cooperating with warlords and having an army. It doesn’t give us a good sense of scale. Show his interactions better with the whole of his forces to make him feel more dangerous, and for humanity as a whole to feel more like a threat against dragons. For example, in the scenes where he’s trying to trap the dragon riders, show him commanding more people.

Show Grimmel’s impact on the dragon (and/or human worlds) through landscape. What if, as the Hairy Hooligans try to find a new place to stay, they fly over several islands that have been destroyed by Grimmel’s forces? Either human civilizations, or homes once havens to dragons, with characters making comment they “hope” people got away. And what if, when Grimmel takes their dragons near the end of THW, it’s again through more violence and a raid and fire and destruction? 

Conversations more clearly talk about Grimmel’s dangers over dragons and humans, and how he’s one of many people that’ll arise. This idea is embedded in THW dialogue, but not clearly enough to fully grasp its weight, especially not in the sense we see characters grasp this. Have Hiccup and Astrid and Valka or something talk about how widely destructive Grimmel is, how even once he’s gone another man like him will take his place, and that while they may continue to fight and win for human and dragonkind, it’s ultimately not the right move to make for everyone to live safest and alive. A conversation laying this out makes a world of difference in our understanding of what dangers are going down and why we need to come to the solution THW concludes with. Again, this isn’t adding time; it’s changing phraseology. 

Add a few minutes to the climax. Make the final fight with Grimmel obviously the final fight, the threat bigger, the action more intense.

Perhaps show that Berk’s done good work changing the world by their choices. Even though Berk ultimately decides to let the dragons go, they are meant to be the voice of peace that changes their world. The good guys can’t resign to letting themselves live under the thumb of bad guys’ choices. Show that they’ve made a difference - Grimmel and his armies are gone and the world is regrowing (no more torched landscape, if we add that element in) - but that it’s still going to help their world by letting dragons go, too… for this generation, at least.

3. To Make Hiccup and Toothless’ Parting Jive Better

Hiccup and Toothless separate out of need - they can’t live in the same place for the better of both their kinds. However, since the movie spends so much time on Toothless chasing after the Light Fury, we don’t get that full sense of need. I propose:

Open THW with a clear Hicctooth sappy bonding moment. We need things like “Forbidden Friendship” and “Where No One Goes” to feel the power of Hicctooth’s love. Give us that starting sense in THW of how close they are before adding in the complications. It can even be done by tweaking how the opening fight scene goes down.

Show dragons profiting by living with humans, but it also being Complicated with their wild side. We need to acknowledge that the relationship between humans and dragons has done the dragons good, too! Otherwise it might feel incongruous with the rest of the franchise.

Show dragons being unfit in the urban area through their own restlessness. The movie tries to show this with Moosie Boi being too big for Berk, and Berk being so crowded with dragons Gobber finds the soup unsanitary. But if we see Stormfly restless and want to leave for the Hidden World, too, wouldn’t this say something more about where dragons are pulled to and belong?

Less time spent on Toothless investigating the Night Fury. You can’t cut this down too much or we’ll feel like rushing, but since THW focuses so much on just Toothless and the Light Fury’s connection rather than an overarching problem for dragons, it’s hard to feel the full-scale issues of the problem. Making it just him and her feels more like a hook up love story than “dragons and humans are incompatible for their needs.”

Change Toothless’ body language. Show more emotional division in Toothless about his conflicting options. Show him hesitant to leave Hiccup and the two interact over that. Show him lonely away from his kind when with Hooligans. Show him feeling that loneliness met - that deep emotional need of being with his own species - when he’d thought was lost to him (rather than focusing on it being a romantic hookup interest). This doesn’t take more time; it tweaks what was already given on screen.

Change Toothless’ emotions with the Light Fury to feel more like loneliness being met than horny boi practicing kissing with a rock. This does a better job of showing that Toothless has a deep need that needs to be met as a wild animal and as a social draconic species.

Change conversations Hiccup has with humans about Toothless’ struggle. Maybe have Hiccup processing less with people and more by himself or with Toothless. Don’t write the conversations with people be about “Toothless has a girlfriend” and “of course he left.” Discuss instead how Night Furies are social creatures and Toothless hasn’t been with his kind in six years - that’s a huge hole in his heart being filled. Validate the deep connection Hiccup and Toothless have, while simultaneously acknowledging the struggle of this moment now. The movie shows that the Light Fury can never be domesticated, so I think that’s fine, but maybe one line from Astrid saying, “I don’t think she’ll come to live with us,” would be enough to help other audience members pick that up too.

More time spent on all dragons being in danger, and Toothless as an alpha unable to protect them with Hairy Hooligans. The story doesn’t show Toothless being much of an alpha - intentional - until he reaches the Hidden World and it clicks. But I suggest it’d be more effective to pull this out more than having an issue with Moose Boi taking up too much space in Berk, and Berk being so crowded Gobber has a dragon in his soup.

Put more of a deal on Toothless being an alpha. You can say that Toothless didn’t understand or use his role as alpha when with humans, but I think showing more sense of conflict, and of an alpha needing to be wild to protect his own, would be useful. Make this an issue for all dragons. The alpha status being used as a blackmail device against Toothless to keep the Light Fury alive could be replaced with us seeing the full species of dragonkind being unable to be protected by an alpha apart from his own people. More needs to be done than dragons bowing to him in one scene to understand what the alpha does for his society.

Show Toothless with more Light Furies. The Light Fury being his singular focus is great. But what about, in the Hidden World, Hiccup and Astrid watch Toothless interacting with a whole group of Night Furies, and he’s clearly in a situation that was Made For Him?

THW already has great content in there - Toothless and the Light Fury interacting, Hiccup crying when he realizes Toothless is fit in the Hidden World, Hiccup freaking out and Astrid comforting him when he feels a low, and Hiccup and Toothless parting ways touchingly at the end.

With these proposed tweaks, we get Toothless and Hiccup’s relationship being addressed deeply from the angle of both friends. We understand what both Toothless and Hiccup emotionally feel, and palatably sense how both love the other. We get a sense that Toothless is attracted to the Light Fury and might want to mate, but that she’s also calling him into a wild life and reminding him that he’s been alone, separated from his kind. We get a sense that it’s not just Toothless, but all dragons who might be called back to the Hidden World. We get a sense that it’s not just Toothless, but his whole role as alpha affecting the entirety of dragonkind.

And once we add in a greater sense of Grimmel being dangerous, and that more humans like him will continue to rise up, we can understand why Berk would release all their dragons. It’s not that dragons hate living with humans - THW can make that clear - and it’s not that dragons haven’t been profited by living with humans. But in the current call, the current situation, it’s best to go to the Hidden World.

I’m mostly tweaking how scenes go down, changing lines and reactions rather than adding material. Feel free to propose a longer movie! For me, THW already has enough space to share its message. Maybe it needed to be a few minutes longer, but I suppose my own sense is that they had enough time to budget in this material, make a smooth-flowing movie with all the material they needed to present, and come away with an astounding storyline.

Like you, this isn’t meant to judge the movie as bad! It isn’t bad! It’s downright wonderful in many aspects. I’m so happy I’ve seen it and can scream over it! Simply, if I were in charge of tweaking the script, these are the first alterations I’d make, and I think it would make THW even better.

[legion1993]

together forever!

AN: this is another piece for @icantlivewithyou for her 800 followers challenge! enjoy! ps. sorry about the long beginning i kinda lost track of what i was doing with the story... but it still works...

Prompt 54 “Let’s forget about destiny.”

pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

summery: there isnt one...

masterlist

another year had come and gone, hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry was one of the best things to ever happen to you, the best decision your parents ever could have made...

 over your years you mastered every spell you were taught, you learned spells to use in your daily life... you were favorite amongst all your teachers... 

well all except Snape but then again he really didnt like any student that wasnt in Slytherin, and even then he sometimes rarely tollerated them... as extra credit you were one of Hogwarts spell tutors...

 meaning basically you were the only student brave enough to tutor the students who needed extra help with their assignments. let me give you a hint as to which house had the most trouble with staying focused... 

thats right it was the Slytherin house... meaning you a Ravenclaw were the only ravenclaw dumb enough to say yes to the job... even for extra credit the other ravenclaws wouldnt do it...

but the only slytherin that stuck with the tutoring throughout the years was Draco Malfoy... he was dashing but fraternizing between houses was frowned upon, i mean if it happened it happened no one would dare stand in the way of soulmates...

 about a year ago to this day you and Draco had met outside of school. you were in diagon alley when he found you in the book store, you went to the 3 broomsticks to meet privately... 

to get a head start on some of the paper work for tutoring.. both you and Draco had turned 18 within a week or 2 of eachother... 

this was one of the reasons Madame rosmertta didnt say anything to anyone about you 2 being there together. she handed you 2 a complementary birthday butterbeer, and went back to her regular customers... 

Draco: “that reminds me i made you something... its just something i happened to make when practicing some art spells... this is to say thank you for not giving up on tutoring me...”

you watched him place a small box on the table in front of you, with the tap of his want he made appear a glass figurine of your house crest... you picked it up and held it...

 YN: “Draco i’m impressed you found a talent that you enjoy... well done... i am grateful for this token... all i got from my family was a fully paid 2 years away from home. just me myself and i... in a magic community just outside of paris...”

Draco: “kind of like a place of your own type thing... when do you move in?”

YN: “supposed to be going to check out the place over christmas break... did you want to come with?”

Draco: “so long as no one sees us that we know, we should be good... i’ll just tell my parents that im doing some travelling over christmas break and that im not coming home, that im doing some soul searching...”

You could only smile as Draco held his glass of Butterbeer towards you...

Draco: “to our final year at Hogwarts...”

YN: “may it shine supreme...”

you clinked your glass with his... thats when both of you felt it, a burning into your arms, it was like an instant connection... something that had slowly been building over the years. 

Draco moved closer to you, your secluded location now hiding your unforseen passion. 

Draco: “whats happening?”

YN: “i dont know its almost like we are magnetized...”

Draco: “its like a new string of feelings.”

your hands at that moment became intertwined.. it was like the force of 2 magnets being forced together, but the connection broke when a familiar voice broke the room...

Lucius: “Rosmertta, business is good i presume...”

Rosmertta: “its fine lucius, what can i do for you today?”

Lucius: “im looking for a place to host a private function is one of your rooms available...”

rosemertta had to think for a moment she knew you and Draco were back there... she made something up on the spot...

Rosmertta: “let me just go do an inspection of one room thats just come available... ill be back in a jiffy to bring you back there...”

lucius as impatient as he was, wasnt gonna argue with rosmertta... she came back there to where you children were and did a sound proofing spell on the room...

rosmertta: “you both need not be here right now... boy your fathers out there... flash yourselves someplace else far from here... ill cover your scents... ill also not tell anyone you were here...”

you both thanked her, grabbed all your things, holding hands you both thought of a different place, far from there... you guys wind up in an alley near the london station... you look at Draco as he does you, both of you searching for something that is there but shouldnt be...

Draco: “can i walk you home? or do you have to be home?”

YN: “i dont have to be home right away but i sense you wanna talk about what happened back in the 3 broomsticks...”

Draco: “can i try something?”

you nod unsure of what it is that he wants to do, at that moment it hadnt hit you... till he popped both of you to a room he had rented in the leaky cauldron, thats when he wrapped his arm around your waist slowly, he moved his other hand to cup your cheek, your body was starting to react... 

thats how it started, the sneaking around, the lying, the keeping it a secret from everyone. except for a few weeks in summer when draco would come to your secret place and stay with you, he also was kind enough to help you move some of your stuff... 

the start of the school year...

YN: “our last first day of school like ever... how the hell are we gonna survive next year...”

Hermione: “i dont know but if anything it will be awesome! when is the first quidditch game of the year?”

You had to think about that for a moment but as you were thinking you heard a voice like a whisper in your ear...

Draco: “meet you in the quidditch house i wanna talk to you about the upcoming game schedule...”

you didnt reallize it but you now had a goofy smile on your face...

Hermione: “okay spill girl!”

YN: “spill what?”

Hermione: “whats with the goofy look on your face?” 

you had to recompose yourself... you turned to Hermione and smiled lightly...

YN: “so for my birthday my parents got me a all expense paid 2 year home away from home type thing... they want me to experience my own world away from them for 2 years...”

Hermione: “what thats amazing! and congrats again on the big 18 i cant believe we will all graduate from here at 18.. but that smile on your face was one of a love struck girl... is there something your not telling me?”

YN: “no girl if i was in love with someone dont you think i would have told you by now...”

Hermione only had to think about that for a moment for she knew as well as you that there wasnt anything you girls wouldnt tell eachother. 

Hermione: “okay ive gotta go meet the boys ill see you for whats our first class together?”

You pulled out your class list and smiled...

YN: “potions... but right now i gotta go get changed and meet Draco at the quidditch tent, he is captain for slytherin he wants to discuss the game schedule or something...”

Hermione: “please be careful dont let that dick wad walk all over you... we will see you in potions... love you...”

YN: “love you too...”

you stalked off to your dorm to place down your bags, and get into your quidditch gear, making sure that you are not seen too long by many, but seen and marked as arrived... 

you headed down to the field. you arrived at the captains tent to find only one other captain signed in currently. you knew the other captains werent as worried about quidditch on the first day... but with Slytherin and Ravenclaw teams being the only 2 teams to ever make it to the semi finals for the wizarding world champs... 

lets just say that was part of yours and Dracos ploy to get to spend time together. sneak a few moments here and there... but this was the captains tent the one that ravenclaw and slytherin teams have shared for decades.

you entered the tent after sound proofing it... and smiled lightly at the sight of Draco all comfy on the lounge chair...

YN: “hey...”

that was all you had to say, Draco laid his eyes on you and got off of that chair so fast you didnt have time to blink... you also really didnt care... it was kinda fun sneaking around... 

Draco cupped your cheek and kissed you ever passionately... he knew that there was a very slim chance that you werent feeling the same way he was...

Draco: “god that train ride was dull and long... it would have been more fun if you had been beside me...”

YN: “i know but we have to keep up appearances... who has the practice field first...”

Draco: “hufflepuff... we have the evening slots...  which i guess is so they dont interferee with our afternoon classes...”

YN: “i can see if i can swap my slot with Gryphindor so i can put my tutoring slot this evening...”

Draco: “i guess my girl has 1st and 2nd years that also need help...”

YN: “yep my tutoring list is already growing and most studentz have only taken 1 or 2 classes by this point...”

that of course is when the earth shook... both you and Draco pulled out your wands searching for anything to be the cause... thats when you both recieved a fire message... because you both were also your house prefects... you both popped over to just outside the great hall where students and teachers were gathering... 

both you and Draco were called up front with the other prefects and teachers..

McGonigal: “teachers we need to try and keep the students calm... prefects your task is to keep your houses in order... Dumbledore and a few other teachers have gone to see about the school barrier... if its what we fear the school is about to be under war.. we have also sent owls to all the families of the normal and first year students... alerting them of the situation... they will have the option to pull their student home if they desire...”

Draco: “professor, what or who exactly is attacking the school?”

Mcgonigal: “death eaters... followers of you know who... now everyone to your stations and brace yourselves... and prefects keep in contact... leave all quarrels and bickering at the door... right now everyone in this room friend or foe is allied...”

the great hall where many a banquet and dinner and ball party whatever type of event was or had been held... the room this year was set up so from left to right it was Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Gryphindor & Hufflepuff...��

so over the last year and a bit, you and Draco could steal a few stolen ‘bickering’ exchanges... you two had developed a kind of love-hate relationship for the public eye... the daily prophet one year had a rivalry photo between your 2 houses... it was a huge deal... 

anyway back to the matter on hand. after settling your Ravenclaws down, your other prefect went to sit at the other end of the table as Draco now came to sit across from you. he noticed you putting your head in your hands and the pannic setting in, he decided that instead of sitting on his side he would come and sit beside you.... ‘pretend to be friendly’

Draco: “are you okay, YN?”

you turned your head slightly and shook your head, you were beyond scared right then you didnt know what might come out of your mouth...

YN: “no im not... what if your father is out there? are you really prepared to face him?”

Draco: “well i mean if it comes down too it yeah, but it will be alot harder for us to keep you know what a secret from the effects of whatever curse they decide to throw at any number of us...”

YN: “i know thats what i’m afraid of... i mean we have kept us a secret for almost 2 years... i think the world deserves to know...before everything goes to shit...”

thats when Draco got up and walked over to mcgonigal..

Draco: “excuse me professor but i think i know exactly what inspirational speech to give right now... may i?”

Mcgonigal: “of course mr malfoy...”

Draco stepped up to the podium and cleared his throat, thus making everyone in the room turn their eyes to him.

Draco: “we live in a world today where voldemort and his death eaters think they have a spotting chance at ruling both the wizarding world and the muggle realm... this is why hogwarts and other schools were started to train the younger genration of witches and wizards alike in the art and practice of magic. but today we are gathered for a different cause, our school is under attack, but i know we have all seen a change in the last few years here within these walls, within our lives, within our houses, we never cease to amazing ourselves and eachother. but one thing that has amazed me over these past few years, is how amazing YN of ravenclaw is... you know what she sits over there at the other end of her table because she exhausts herself every single damn day. tutoring, being a prefect, leading the ravenclaw qudditch team, and still going to her regular classes. YN you have changed my life in ways i can’t express in alot of words but i have several little words now that will change both of our lives... may all of you bare witness to this momentus moment. for if we live through this tragedy we will be in a time of celebration.”

Draco comes around the podium and stands on the stage in front of you...

Draco: “YN, lets forget about destiny, lets forget for a moment that we are under attack, or surrounded by our peers, lets pretend that its still summer and we are hiding in a alley way outside of london station hiding from my father, lets forget about what the world already thinks of us, and show the world what and who we can be together...”

this earned all the students and all the teachers to put their eyes from you to Draco as you now stood up to Draco’s getting down onto 1 knee...

Draco: “YN will you marry me?”

you started walking towards him slowly...

YN: “Draco you changed my world too, i was a little lost before you came into my life, i knew that there was something there from that first day till that day a year ago when we talked without hesitation or speech impediment, or stuttering or any barriers... i know a different side of you as you do me... i guess what i’m trying to say is: Yes of course i’ll marry you!!!”

the entire great hall bared witness as you ran up the stage and into Dracos loving embrace, tender arms holding you close, his lips then passionately kissing you with a joyous noise erupting from the entirety of the room. then Draco used his new found arts magic skill to forge you on the spot a diamond ring, he slid it on your finger and the kissing continued...

you guys were interrupted by several teachers including your house teachers and several others, then approached by your partner prefects, and your head boy/girl... then you were approached by Ron, Hermione, and Harry... 

Hermione: “YN girl, what i mean how, i mean when... i mean you said you werent interested in anyone...”

YN: “we wanted to make sure we were gonna last first before we told anyone... we have been sneaking around, and making excuses, making up little white lies, taking no small moment however small for granted...”

Harry: “well Draco i guess if YN ends up with anyone i suppose i should be happy she ended up with someone who wont break her heart...”

Draco: “ya well i know if i did that she would kick my arse... so im gonna avoid that...”

Ron: “i suppose i agree with both hermione and Harry but i guess i should add that its a good thing your both 18 now right...”

You and Draco looked at eachother and smiled...

YN: “yep during the summer within a week or 2 of eachother...”

Draco: “thank you all of you for supporting us... i’m sure...”

just before Draco could finish his sentance... the windows of the hall were blasted open... Draco you harry hermione and ron all crouched and huddled together, then looking up at the sound of a voice speaking from the smoke entering the room...

Lucius: “oh my my my what is happening here... it looks like a bunch of marry ment was going on...”

thats when Lucius spotted Draco and how defensive he was of you... then he noticed the ring on your finger...

Lucius: “boy get away from that girl.. or i swear i will beat you with my belt son...”

Draco: “never you cant make me...”

this made everyone clear out of the way... this was a wizards stance... kind of like 1,2,3 shoot... except it was cast your spells and see whose wins... Draco and you already having your wands ready prepared your shots...

Lucius: “Avarda Kadarva...”

Draco: “impedimenta..”

YN: “imperio...”

Lucius had his aimed right for you and Draco...

Draco Aimed his right at his father�� that slowed him right down.... long enough for your spell to hit lucius and point him and one of the death eaters... 

this was the start of the great Battle of Hogwarts as well as your new journey of life with Draco... but thats another story for another time...

[inspiringwhilerespiring]

Yall know i love this survey shit<3

1. List 5 things you want to do before the year ends.

-finish 5 books

-lose 20 lbs

-produce more art

-travel out of the state & country

-heal my heart and love myself a lil more

2. What color are your pants?

not wearing any

3. Favorite motivational quote.

damn, there’s A L O T. prob something simple and to the point. I like “proud, but never satisfied” and “the distance between your dreams and reality is called action”

4. When was the last time you drank coffee?

yesterday; got a new french press for christmas<3

5. What was the last thing you ate?

lmao the weirdest shit. hot cheetos, some hummus, and a bar

6. Favorite animal.

soo many; always been fascinated by sharks. Elephants are up there too.

7. Favorite song.

currently anything Kid Cudi - he soothes my soul

8. Last movie you watched?

National Lampoon family vacation I think?

9. Any turn ons?

of course; im one of those gay people who gets turned on by having an emotional connection first and foremost; but if were strictly talking physical shit - any neck action is sexy af. or just taking breaks to make eye contact.

10. Any turn offs?

bad breath lol and just being a dick in general or inconsiderate

11. List 4 big words off of the top of your head.

cognizant; superfluous; compelling; anguished

12. What are some meaningful movies?

First ones that come to my mind that left an impact or a meaningful message are Shawshank Redemption, Avatar, Wall-E (lol), Forest Gump

13. 2 most important people in your life right now?

Myself honestly 

14. What are 3 things you want to do before the month ends?

Find a desk, order a blender, and form a morning routine

15. When was the last time you read a good book?

Currently reading Michelle Obama’s -Becoming; before that I read the Alchemist and it was good

16. How long do you study for usually, if you study?

I don’t

17. Do you have any nicknames?

Pollo, Hayls

18. Favorite kind of perfume? (fruity, alluring, etc.)

Viva la Juicy, but honestly all of them - been sticking to essential oils or all natural shit lately - anything with Amber is good.

19. Do you have any international friends / friends who live out of state?

yes<3

20. What is something unique that you do every single day?

lol shower? I dont really do anything special i dont think?

21. If there was a movie based on your life, what would it be called?

“Becoming” lol because I feel like I am always growing and changing and adapting and learning and ill never just be one thing

22. When was the last time you bought a gift for someone?

Recently - christmas time

23. Are you a shopaholic?

no - but i just got an amazon prime account and thats game changer fa real

24. What are some songs that always make you feel better?

Love - Kid Cudi, 

25. List 3 activities that you can only enjoy by yourself.

Sitting in the tub (otherwise that shit is too crowded lmao)

Reading a good book

Masturbating prob?

26. If you could live in any biome (and survive) which biome would you live in?

Tropical island

27. How do you like being roused in the morning?

cuddles and soft music (prob reggae) and if i aint got shit to do a bluntttt fam

28. How was your day? What did you do?

it was ok - fighting some inner demons lately and feeling really low :/ but i got a little bit done so im giving myself a break

29. What did your last text message say?

“bye”

30. Do you respond to texts quickly?

depends on who it is lol

31. Who was the last person you called?

my mom

32. List 5 things that are on your wish list.

i wanna learn another language

I wish to be able to see more things change for the better in our world

i wish to skydive

i wish to live in another country for a while

and i wish to love myself

33. If you were famous, what do you think you would be famous for?

maybe being a host of a talk show lol

34. Winter or summer?

both

35. What is a quality that all people should have?

empathy

36. If you could have a large collection of one item, what would that item be?

my inner white girl and materialistic ass says shoes - but idk i think it would also be cool to have a collection of books or photographs - ya know that sentimental shit i be on

37. What have you been thinking about lately?

wow so much - a lot of reflecting honestly about who i have been and how i’ve treated others and how i am trying to change myself - so ironically enough, i’ve also been thinking about the future and trying to focus on who i want to be and where i want to be

38. What is the secret to a happy life?

taking it day by day im sure

39. What are some phrases you say often?

“nice” lol to my clients a lot

40. Favorite food?

lately its been asian - like thai and vietnamese. fuck now i want some dumplings and curry and egg rollllz

41. List 3 wishes.

already fuckin diiiiiddd fam

42. What are some of your greatest fears?

memory loss, dying, losing others

43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?

idk whats app prob

44. Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)? 

machu picchu

45. Spicy food:Like or dislike? 

LOVE

46. Scary movies:Like or dislike?

Depends

47. Do you like to travel?

Do you know me lol

48. Any regrets?

yeah always, but i try to live my life without any and honestly id never go back and change em

49. Do you like rain?

obsessed; fav weather actually

50. What do you spend most of your money on?

food

51. Would you rather visit the past or the future?

past bc im a sentimental person; future is exciting and i like surprises and the unknown and dreaming about that shit - id rather not know.

52. Favorite clothing store?

depends - urban outfitters is my style but i like goodwill just as much

53. What is the best advice you can give to those who are feeling down?

this too shall pass

54. How often do you think about your future? Does it scare you?

honestly not often enough, i try not to over think things or it tends to give me anxiety. why worry about things that are far out of our control? I just take shit day by day

55. What angers you the most?

ignorance. and rude ass people. when someone isnt being genuine

56. When was the last time you got majorly angry?

yesterday

57. When was the last time you got really sad?

today

58. Are you good at lying?

im sure everyone is to some degree

59. What foreign language would you like to learn?

spanish

60. How many languages can you speak and what are they?

just one - semi fluent in spanish

61. How often do you go to parties? If you don’t, what do you do instead?

lol 

62. What books do you plan to read this year?

not sure! I have a couple but we shall see

63. Do you have breakfast every morning?

yes i try to - its my fav meal

64. Tell us a secret.

then it wouldnt be a secret

65. How many concerts have you been to?

a few

66. Last hug?

wasnt long enough

67. Who knows you better than anyone else?

myself

68. Baths or showers?

ooooooh damn, depends

69. Do you think you’re ambitious?

i could be a little more

70. What song is stuck in your head?

lmaooo wake up in the sky by gucci mane and bruno - thats been my shit lately

71. Countries you’ve visited?

Peru, Canada, Mexico, Costa Rica, Jamaica, Caymans, Philippines

72. What do you most value in your friends?

Communication and laughter

73. What helps you to sleep better?

putting my got dang phone away from me

74. What is the most money you have ever held in your hand?

prob like 2 grand or some shit

75. What makes you nervous?

when i over book myself or take too much on and have a lot on my plate - so time management i suppose

76. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given?

to live in the present moment; and to take care of myself 

77. Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive for sure - i dont really ever forget

78. First mobile phone?

ayyy a flip phone and it was see thru and lit up and had a walkie talkie!

79. Strangest dream?

lmao ew no im so ashamed

80. Best dream?

flying or something

81. Who is the smartest person you know?

my grandpa it seems

82. Who is the prettiest person on tumblr?

idk

83. Do you miss anyone right now?

very much, always

84. Who do you love? Why?

everyone, because life is too damn short for hate

85. Do you like sharing?

yeah lol bc i expect ppl to share w me in return

86. What was the last picture you took with your phone?

idk actually

87. Is there a reason behind everything that happens?

yeah id like to think so

88. Favorite genre of music?

i was raised on hip hop so i feel like that is my go to but honestly i love reggae, alternative, a lil bit of electro chill shit, R&B, oldies, jazz, anything 

89. If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be?

Understanding

90. Describe your life in 5 words.

roller coaster. fun. emotional. loving. growth.

91. Describe the world in 4 words.

crazy. beautiful. strong. vast.

92. Craziest thing you’ve ever done?

skinny dip?

93. First three songs in your favorite playlist?

cocaine model - zhu

is this love - bob marley

tadow - masego

94. Are you more creative or logical?

def without a doubt 100% creative/emotional/empath/sensative/does things based on feelings rather than reason type person lmao

95. Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth?

truth always

96. What are you most proud of?

my ability to communicate and understand people

97. What personality trait do you admire in other people?

strength/humility 

98. When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing?

smoking a fat ass blunt doing yoga on a sunny day while its 68 degrees out and im on a beach 

[dame-mas-princesa]

BE THE COWBOY BY MITSKI

1.) GEYSER

“And hear the harmony only when it's harming me. it's not real, it's not real”

i really see this as a beginning to an album that covers the attachment towards a specific person. off this lyric it’s what you find in many toxic relationships. “no no they are a good person” they are hurting you but ‘it’s not real’ you want to focus on the harmony when it’s harming YOU. touch shit man.

2.) WHY DIDNT YOU STOP ME

“I look for a picture of you to keep in my pocket but I can't seem to find one where you look how i remember”

this part i kinda understand. you find yourself idealizing a person that you eventually forget who they really are. you have an image in your head over what they are but as in this lyric you can’t seem to find one that looks how you remember.

3.) OLD FRIEND

“I'll take coffee and talk about nothing, baby”

this songs is really hard to interpret. i see this as someone who ended a relationship but are still friends but now the relationship is tense. tense is not the right word it it’s that point where you would ‘take anything’ just to be around them. blue diner might’ve been that place where they had dates or such. it’s so conflicting but like?? cause the narrator is in a relationship with someone new and the other person mentioned (who they are singing about) is also with someone new BUTBUTBUT it seems these two still have a romantic connection/relationship. they haven’t told anyone like they had promised. brain hurt

4.) A PEARL

“But it's just that I fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended”

this was my go to crying song for the LONGEST. that is mainly cause i relate to it an IMMENSE amount. it reminds me of my past relationship (hey if you are reading this don’t worry no major details or names) but the lyric “you’re growing tired of me and all the things i don’t talk about” communication was lacking when referring to our feelings. you grew tired of me and how i never told you how i felt. it was mutual, i grew tired of all the things you never talked about. the lyric above just describes how i felt for so many months. really this entire describes how i felt for months. when she says “i fell in love with a war” she is referring to her toxic relationship. she was obsessed with it and i’m her mind, it never ended. she continues with “there’s a hole that you fill” without you, there is a void. goes on with “and it left a pearl in my hand” which is like a memory the way i see it. i remember spending months thinking of those memories just to fill my heart with joy. this song just got me feeling too many things then my feelings ab this are no longer as vibrant.

5.) LONESOME LOVE

tumblr is spacing this out weird grr

“I call you, to see you again so I can win, and this can finally end”

this is a very short but what i get out of this is the self sabotage. To me when i do something that i KNOW will hurt me in the end, it really just makes me feel like a did something good. i’m a winner in someway. nobody fucks me like me.

6.) REMEMBER MY NAME

“Just how many stars will I need to hang around me to finally call it heaven?”

mitski, everyday you confuse me with meanings. good thing most lyrics can be interpreted in a way so that it makes sense to YOU (with respect for the original meaning)! the lyric above kinda reminds me of “how many things or how many people do i need around me to feel welcome” heaven is a place where you are supposed to feel loved, welcome, and happy. i’m leaning more towards the importance of possession because of the lyrics “i need something bigger than the sky. hold it in my arms and know it’s mine” i know i struggle with wanting to feel big and mighty when i know something big and bright (such as stars) is mine and mine ONLY. i want to feel IMPORTANT. holding stars could give off that feeling. also love the guitar in this

7.) ME AND MY HUSBAND

“...Will be gone, with my eyes with my body with me”

you KNOW this song is about being an immigrant. you move from a country where you grew up, where you have all your memories, and had all of your experiences. you come to a new one, you know no one. this is where the lyric “but when he walks in, i am loved” i promise you that when you stay in a place where you know absolutely no one, not even knowing how to act, when someone you know walk in you feel relieved. you feel seen and in this case you feel loved. it’s just you and your ‘husband’. i feel as if this moving situation can be both physical and metaphorical but i’m taking it as physical.

8.) COME INTO THE WATER

“But would you tell me if you want me? ‘Cause I can't move until you show me”

this is basically saying “can you tell me that you feel the same cause i don’t want to dive in without knowing” come with me, do you want to be with me? not too much i can say with this song.

9.) NOBODY

“And big and small again and still nobody wants me”

i think song is the definition of upbeat music with sad lyrics. i cannot find myself crying to this song cause all i want to do is dance. BUT THE BIG AND SMALL AND BIG AND SMALLL LYRICS GOT ME THINKING. i have been skinny and i haven’t, i have been happy and not, i have been friends with so many people and very few and STILL nobody wants me. in this instance i know mitski is referring to her weight which really gets me thinking. this songs revolves around the topic of just wanting to feel loved and important. the need of someone to care about YOUUUUU!! just to feel alright!!!!!!

10.) PINK IN THE NIGHT

“I hear my heart breaking tonight. Do you hear it too?”

you do you know how i feel? can you hear my heart breaking? this song is the bargaining part of grief. the constant thought of wanting to say i love you once again or to kiss you one more time. this is a very short song soooo

11.) A HORSE NAMED COLD AIR

“circled the same old sin”

takes a big brain to understand this poem, i don’t have it. the last part of this which reads “i thought i traveled a long way but i had circled the same old sin” really got me thinking of my own habits. during recovery i thought i had gotten so far, beaten so many of rules and fears, only to relapse over and over. i had circled the same old sin.

12.) WASHING MACHINE HEART

“Baby, though I've closed my eyes. I know who you pretend I am.”

once again with the reoccurring themes!! it’s the idealization of person to the point that they are no longer the same person. she goes on with “why not me?” the person who she is singing to seems to make up this version of her that ISNT her. she asks why isn’t the person i am not enough.

13.) BLUE LIGHT

“out there i’m a sharp knife. are you the blue light?”

the blue light is referring to the light that the moon emits at night. i feel like she is saying “i hurt others but you show me what i’m doing” i’m not even completely sure?? maybe it’s what makes the sharp knife beautiful? the blue light reflecting off of it?? i have no idea.

14.) TWO SLOW DANCERS

“To think that we could stay the same”

in my point of view, the reference to age can be in regards to the age of a relationship. just like people, relationships age. everything seems so easy at the beginning of a relationship. many think at the beginning that the relationship is going to last forever and feel the same. it doesn’t! you pass the honeymoon stage and things change. you realize who you’re with, who you planned to spend the rest of your life with. they aren’t the person you thought they were. that close intimacy (slow dancing) doesn’t last and wears out.

okay finished. i mean yeah thank you mitski for this wonderful art piece of an album

[ernestsdesign]

Presenting my work

This week I am going to build six slides in order to showcase the work that I have done so far. Although this will be a difficult task since I have more work done than that which can fit into 6 slides, I will focus on showing the "why" and the progress of the project.

86,400 seconds

Every day we get this much seconds and there is no way we can get them back. Although showing this may seem like a lot, it isnt and the important question we need to ask is what did we do today to make progress? Did today help me develop? Did it help my progress? What did or could today change? Watching a movie is something fun to do however doing so all day everyday does not help us develop and grow professionally but it also doesnt help us progress into who we want to become. In saying this once again I believe the 80/20 principle applies because if we spend 80% of our time watching movies we only get 20% back from them, and when I say back from them I mean in terms of learning something because a good movie can teach us too; it can show us different mentalities, ways of conencting however if we watch movies constantly we stop evaluating them and valuing them as much as we would otherwise.

We cannot allow time to slip through our fingers because we can never get time back.

The perfect pitch

The perfect pitch has purpose, and that is to grab people's attention. Understanding that is important because once I began thinking about that, presenting my work became easier in the sense that I knew there should be a fair mix between words and images and because this weeks pitching is related to a slideshow, this will be my focus.

I began realising that my idea's are only half the equation, because I need to be able to present them with confidence and an interesting story.

structuring narrative

My upcoming presentation will be a 10 minute talk, and I am taking this into consideration because it means I should not go above or below thaat time too much. In order to keep within this time I will need to read over the notes I make, set a timer during the presentation so that I know when to switch slides and think how much slides I should have so that I can smoothly switch the pace if I am presenting information either more quickly or slowly than anticipated.

Sun tzu's book "the art of war" states that every battle is won or lost before it is fought and I feel like the same is true of presentations. By saying this, I need to remember that proper preparation is key!

Woodrow Wilson said that “If I am to speak ten minutes, I need a week for preparation; if fifteen minutes, three days; if half an hour, two days; if an hour, I am ready now.” preparation, if fifteen minutes, three days, of half an hour, two days, if an hour, i am ready now." This suggests that the longer we have to present the easier it is to do so because information does not need to be "squished" into a very limited amount of slides as is the case with my current task where I will be preparing only 6 slides to showcase everything to date. The shorter the speech, the harder it is to prepare as we need to focus on only the most important parts.

Before presenting it is good to get on stage beforehand because going on stage and seing the people before presenting makes it easier to handle once actually presenting.

When sharing any projects or doing speeches, I need to think of the key which is that a good story is the backbone of all things.

For this project to follow this key I will be telling the audience about the significance of reading stories for example by stating how it transport's us to another dimension and I can bring the issue up that not many people read stories anymore.

I will focus on a beginning, middle and end to the presentation as if I were taking the audience through a story, I will show them different content in each slide.

The beginning can be used to tell the audience about what I am going to be saying, it could start as "Im going to cover the following..." During the beginning stage it is important to build empathy, which I could do by asking a shared problem such as "do you struggle to find time for long books?" For the presentation to be striking I must try making the audience think in the same way as me about the problems that I will solve.

In the middle I will show the structure and chunk of my content in an organised manner so that they know what the product/service looks like which will help build familiarity with the project.

During the ending I could decide to to one of two thing; bring the audience back down or make them soar even higher.

If I were to bring the audience back down it would involve going back over the important points that I have made. However, If I were to make them soar even higher then I could include an inspirational quote or some other important note that would make the audience keep thinking about what was said after.

The content being presented needs to be coherent, it needs to be easy to understand which I can do by explaining what certain things mean or how they will work.

The story of the product/service needs to be simple, for example I could say that I want to sell more tickets, because it equals more profits.

I will need to keep the presentation memorable by ensuring I don't overdo it but instead choosee simple and fun wording such as: "well I put the man on the moon and returned him to earth safely instead" of making it more complex as making it complex would make it more difficult to be understood by the people.

For the presentation, starting to think on paper and post-it notes could lead to more idea's that are not limited. It is about going by the numbers and then finding clusters.

Building a "rough cut" is easier and more productive to do before actually decorating the presentation because this will allow me to jam in the stuff on the pages and checking if it flows and makes sense.

Slides and their alternatives

The more the content is in order, the easier it is to create a flow and hence the people can follow the train of thought so they are less likely to get lost. I will put some items up on the board so the people can read and other information I will keep only for myself such as statistics.

By using slides, I am able to divert the gaze from people so that they do not only have to look at me presenting but can look at visual content to help them see the project.

Notes should onlyhowever be used as a safety blanket, I should learn not to put 500 words but instead start presenting from knowledge. I should start using the notes for facts that cant remember instead.

I could use Rands starter slide to see the screen ratio and make sure all colours are working fine.

Until I gain some more confidence with presentation tools, I can use templates however throughout time I should take a look at making my own slide presentation as a designer and developing my own presenting style.

Slides are able to showcase design skills and consistency is king! In presentations one typface should be used with no crazy font styles. Content should be easy to parse, they should break down complex information and ideas and they should be efficient. When adding images, I should use a grid to line them up consistently and keep them the same dimensions.

Diagrams can be used for communicating information.

Transitions are the animations that happen between the transition from one slide to another.

Builds are awesome because they can do multiple actions to show a complex idea in one slide.

When creating my slides I will avoid making too much slides and adding lots of notes.

Using the body

By not sitting down, you open up the diaphragm It is important to use hand gestures to create a passage between people Making eye contact is easier if looking at the audiences' nose or forehead. By doing this it is easier to connect with the whole room thus owning the stage.

If people start getting spaced out, I could tell them all to come closer to the stage.

People in the audience will (reasonably) do what is told to them and so I could tell them to for example stretch out before starting the

Rhetorical techniques such as repetition, rhetorical questions, metaphors, alliteration and humour can be used which would help guiding the audience in such a way that they could see my opinion and understand my points.

I could also create a phrase that would be repeated, for example for my current project I could say "are you short on time but love reading?"

To calm myself before presenting I should "breathe the room" so for example I could focus on colouring a wall in specific colours on every outbreath.

Adrenaline will get anyone through and so all I must do is come prepared, for example by bringign a pdf on a memory stick and a HDMI cable to connect my presentation.

To let the auidence feel how much the presentation means to me I should show my true emotions, such as happiness and pride because Confidence comes from practice.

[deathghost8]

Adventure basics module 0 ~ the zen paradox crash course via Alan Watts

The first version of this is 4 hours and a half, nearly. Here are the notes from the stream session where I ran the entire playlist. 1- there isnt anything else to think about except here and now. thinking about the future has no value, its value is an illusion, bc future is an illusion. 2- skull glee "laughing everlastingly []~[] death was but the good king's jest, it was hid so carefully " 3- to stop clinging to the value of survival, practice thinking deeply about what is real. something that happens "only once" doesn't happen at all. there is not just one cosmos. all stopping implies starting. 4- we're looking at the terror that nothingness may "Win" this game. it's something to look at, as we look at stories in the arts. 5- Watch This: what happens when accomplishing Shutting up 6- the point of anything is arrived at Only in the moment. Now. 7- the point is... Play. Enjoyment of the Vibe of now. 8- you don't have to try to understand anything. you just listen to the sound. but you can't help naming what is heard and seeing thoughts appear which are words. Listen to them, they are part of the total general noise. 9- how to contact your higher self - no, it contacts you. all you do is Watch This. You are here. Now. 10- we are gonna figure out some paradox states that deal with what it means to stop Wanting to do Good / be better. 11- this question is, how can i outwit Me ? The quest for satisfaction just changes, what is Good just changes as we quest. 12- why do you want to know about Becoming better? Doing good even to oneself can be amazingly destructive. How do you know what's good for you? 13- we are going to pay for all of the improvements that have been made as we have interfered with nature. until we have become a plague of virtuous people, all in all. 14- watts and carlin both manage to describe how humanity is absolutely horrifying as soon as it's more than one, more than an individual virtue. ()hour 2 begins 15- with the most elementary lesson. about sensation, the core dual aspect of On / Off, vibration. life is this system of now you see it, now you don't. 16- here, we are beginning truly to describe universe symmetry, mutual arising, and the negative principle. particles of truth we are going to see about absolutely all things. 17- there is no road to here, because you're already there. we are all here. Now. 18- all of the observable energy / electricity transactions have to do with a circuit closing point. the motion doesn't start until the circuit closes. it takes time for the circuit to form, then time for the energy to transfer. 19- we are in the nature of god segment, which gets us to consider how the Father Authority figure is a problematic culture element of religions other than those of Zen. -this segment is about the thought that there IS authority to existence - and it's NOT you. 20- the page that words are written on, the space wherein dance and music unfolds, fabric, the Sub Stance. Underneath. existence is Being this substance. -COnsciousness thereby represents the most Elusive Whatever it is that we know about 21- the BLANK is absolutely necessary for there to be Anything. The []Kali is representative of horrible, unthinkable badness. We have made death scary with monsters. 22- The []coincidence of opposites - basically what a mutual arising construct is. Zen Paradox. 23- Neti Neti. THE void. God who has No image. 24- Not formal atheism. The luminous Darkness. Total trust attitude, letting go. REAL paradox zen. 25- The ability to STOP chasing fulfillment and instead inhabit the only Anything that there is. Now. 26- We are always in a hurry to get things finished, and so the things that we finish weren't worth finishing 'cause they were done so fast.* 27- We don't have TIME to sit... to sit and listen to the water. REally? I've been questioning this since like age 3. 28- at 2 hour mark -we are going to think about work as play, everything as play, the concept of accessing our spontaneity. 29- now we fully weigh what does it mean to untie the knot that coercion thought patterns is. it's not necessary to go on living. raising all the kids to think of their Duty to go on makes everyone miserable. 30- the disruption against coercion, it is like parable. slyman, the joker. Scoundrel, ourselves. 31- there is no way out of the bind of doing any actions but not thinking of them first.... [ THIS is a zen paradox structure I first encountered when it was about how the characters in hitchiker's guide to the galaxy learn Flight.[] 32- This is going through a door, then turning around and seeing there was never a door. You're not trapped. You just step over the prison. [] ()third hour beginning, some comedy about zen masters now 33- the zen student is one who has checked out of the status game. focusing on the real value of reality and sensation instead. 34- it takes two to make a quarrel. 35- Zen cannot be explained - you have to use words to describe within a language that it has a limitation. the limitation is what we are trying to describe. 36- Watts directly calls out the trauma caused by coercion in childhood and education. No subtlety about how prepared are we to undo the damage caused to kids by education. 37- mutual arising is the evidence of the difference between absence, Tone, decay back to its absence. it's a stone falling into liquid 38- Sensation is the good term to directly refer to real existence content. 39- to be awake is to be watching existence, watching the vibration. to see the spontaneous action after succeeding at not inhibiting it. - and everyone has the ability to wake up from the illusions to instead just watch real existence, the basic energy sensation in the core of all. 40- Ego is a social institution, like words are a Noise to indicate something that exists. 41- if you would like to be anxious it's alright, you can, you don't have to chill. but if you get to the point u no longer enjoy the game, you don't have to do it. 42- the whole fun within a game is you don't know the whole outcome. watts explains this regarding life. an aesthetic about trusting the game is the core Play attitude he is trying to teach. 43- you cannot take the risk out of human connections and social goings on. it becomes impossible. 44- Secure "safety" where whole system "Watches" itself, elaborately self conscious - surveillance state, you are tied up in that process and literally cannot act. Halted. To have freedom, Risk is present. A community that doesn't trust itself does not function to wellbeing or chill. 45- last few segments on this playlist are the Structure built out of the prior particles. Upper level. about social systems, currency, interaction, and Love itself. they are about sharing and Sovereignty of the WHOLE which requires the framework, the mesh vibration. 46- he totally takes the time to rip on rushing around in automobiles. it's stupid. hurrying is so completely LAME, and so is being furious. 47- he literally describes that its absurd for money to be issued out then re collected in tax. the system would be simpler to be a money issuing system to install spending power across the population, while first keeping what budget needed. -that distro failure is where we are now in dehumanism system. we've generated a shit load of revenue on behalf of people, using the tech, but that gain has been hoarded and used in ways that have ruined the Mesh of our human community. instead of distributing the gains to humans' behalf.

[create-ninety]

Wednesday 20th February, ’19. 10am.

There’s nothing quite like going to a gig at a small venue in a trendy part of town to make you feel like a geriatric.

While I was getting ready for the event, I was wondering if I was going too casual – I was wearing a plain t-shirt with black jeans and an oversized floral blazer. Turns out I should have gone in what I normally wear as pyjamas! There were kids (I say kids, because while there were definitely a few ‘older’ people in the crowd, the majority looked like they were born this side of the century) wearing what I can only describe as their dorky mum’s clothes from the seventies. It was bizarre. Lucie and I stood to the side in a somewhat demure fashion by comparison, me sipping on non-alcoholic beer, and Lucie overheating from a temperature brought on by a nasty cold.

We both agreed that, if we were born when they were, it’s this kind of crowd we probably would have found ourselves in. Perhaps it’s because they were wearing exactly what we were wearing, once upon a time. I can imagine this isn’t a unique experience for people who find themselves looking over their shoulder at the next generation and wonder what the hell is going on.

The show itself was great – the band were amazing. I’ve seen them three times now and each time they’ve got better. The audience loved the performance and it was actually quite inspiring to see people passionate about their art in action. And it was obviously the kind of crowd that didn’t bat an eyelid that I was draped over completely over Lucie, which is always a plus.

When we got home, we lay awake talking about it the performers. I wondered what the process is that gets a person to the point where they feel confident enough to get on stage and perform in front of others. Essentially saying, “I am confident enough that my work is good enough to not only subject you to, but I am compelling enough to perform it in front of others.”

That’s a pretty brave thing, for anyone to do. To be inviting open criticism and to stand up and project vulnerability. I do, genuinely, marvel at musicians and stage actors who have to suspend what can only be described as ‘normal reality’ to sing, move about, and create a large amount of sound – something that in any other situation would be wildly inappropriate and strange. And yet there we all were, gathered around a stage, making noise for individuals who were inhabiting that space of vulnerability. I’ve decided that, for me, it’s actually less about hearing the music of the artists when I see the live show, and more about watching and observing the emotions that they’re going through, as they do it. And you can see it on their faces. The nerves, the little shakes, the awkward chatter between songs when the polished performance of practiced routine is paused.

Lucie pointed out to me that writing a novel isn’t so different to that.

In some ways, perhaps not, but by and large I think there are some key differences.

I think that if you’re a creative person by nature, then creativity has the opportunity to express itself in several key ways: as an actor, a musician, a visual artist, or a writer. Each of those could be called spheres with smaller subsets breaking off (stage actors vs film actors, painters vs photographers, poets vs fiction writers, and so on). I suppose it just depends what vehicle you ultimately are drawn to and prefer as your mode of expression. Because ultimately, the point of anything creative is fundamentally the same: it’s just that, expression. You are expressing something emotive, experiential, a message, something others might relate to. And each of those spheres give you the option to do it, but with completely different methods of execution.

When I was growing up I played with all of the different spheres and I can see them all, now, as different sizes and at varying distances from me. At certain points in my life I’ve actually valued them and explored them in different orders. Some have increased in resolution and texture while others have stayed smaller and smoother.

The smallest of my creative spheres, the one most under-developed and child-like, is visual art. I’m not bad at basic sketching or copying something. And I can stare at a piece of art and try and pull out its meaning. But when I was young, the pleasure I’d get from mixing paint or translating an emotion onto a canvas or something else just wasn’t very high for me. So I didn’t spend time doing it. There were moments where I’d develop a surge in interest (this still happens) – I’d go and buy watercolours and start painting for fun, or I’d be obsessed with sketching raccoons or something. But it’s always fleeting, and ultimately, not really something that I have been able to use as the best means of my expression.

I found a lot of joy in stage acting and performing when I was young, right up to my teenage years. I would include public speaking in this. I found it exciting. I liked playing characters with interesting stories, and I liked to turn different emotions on and off to create scenes with others. I liked finding mirrors of myself in characters, and ‘becoming them’, for a short time, was a small reprieve from myself. But sometimes it was hard to occupy the emotions of a character when my own were trying to take centre stage, so to speak. In my last year of high school when I was arguably involved in the most theatre I’d ever done – I was the lead role in my drama class’ final show, I was in a speech finals competition, I was sitting a speech and drama exam that had multiple theatrical components, I was in our school production, and in an improv team – I was stressed as hell. I realised, ultimately, I didn’t like standing up in front of others to be scrutinised as a version of myself that wasn’t me. I didn’t like that there was a ‘right way’ to act, and a ‘wrong way’. Because, well, there’s a director telling you what to do and how to do it. And so when I left school, I stopped any form of acting. I thought about joining a theatre company but I didn’t. I almost studied Theatre at uni, but I didn’t. It just wasn’t the creative vehicle for expression for me and I dropped it all together. I think, as a result, that acting is now my least valued and explored sphere.

Music, on the other hand, was something I discovered in my late teens. I’d tried piano earlier but didn’t like it, because I was taught classical, which to me was basically mathematics with your fingers. I wasn’t good at translating the written music to something that requires you to be so profoundly dextrous. Years later I would discover tab, and learn the general principles of music accidentally. I realised that chords are the foundation of all music, and that chords translate across all string and wind instruments, including the piano. Once I understood that, and once I was able to master basic dexterity and rhythm, music became the most wonderful tool of expression. I was able to write lyrics, write melodies, and then later on, piece them all together to make a song on my computer. I must have made hundreds. I did struggle to ‘finish’ one, though, and my desire to perform them never became overwhelming enough to take it to the next level. For me, it really was just means to express something. I liked the personal nature of it. I liked the different emotions that could be conveyed through the different sounds and instruments. Sharing the songs with anyone was always a profoundly terrifying experience: the music was an extension of myself, as if I had translated my own identity and ‘suffering’ into sound – and for others to hear it, and to judge it, would be for them to judge me.  And so the music sphere for me has grown large, but it has stayed at the same size for some years now. I pick up the guitar when I’m feeling emotional. Or when I want to put music to a poem. And when I see musicians perform, I see love for the vehicle. I often dream about writing an album to compliment a film. I suppose that now, there is actually the option to actually produce music without having to perform at all – you can do it all digitally. But I don’t think that I love it enough to put it out there. There is so much music available. I don’t think that what I create would be contributing to anything other than my own creative expression. And so, it’s for that reason, while it’s fun to dream, I think – unless I suddenly have unlimited free time and money – that it’s something I’ll never take further than just tinkering around when I fancy.

Writing, for me, is the perfect mode of expression. It’s a completely internal process. With music there is this external component, which I think is ultimately what turns me off about it, but with writing, it can be done completely behind a veil. When it is released into the world, it’s consumed by a reader internally. You are not the work. The work is as separate from you as possible (perhaps in many ways like visual art). This is what appeals to me so deeply. That I get to have a personal, raw, emotive and transformative experience writing something and exploring it in a depth that has so many layers of meaning. And when someone reads it, the work becomes a personal experience for them. You are just a a vehicle for the expression. My physical form, my personal likes and dislikes and expressions, are not relevant to the ideas being put out into the world. And I love this. Writing also carries with it the highest possibility for profound connection: books take a long time to be read, and upon each separate reading, new meaning can be found and uncovered. The same can be said for all the spheres, absolutely – I’ve certainly spent hours listening to the same song and attached various meanings to it, and felt connections to musicians I’ve never met  – but there is something unique about a narrative with a character who goes on a journey. I would argue that in a book you can still experience all five senses, but in an abstract way.

I don’t like the thought of who I am as a person getting in the way of the message. I want to place the art and the ideas at the centre of the experience. When you involve yourself – in a way that musicians and actors have to do – then you become consumable. And that is a scary concept for me. One could argue that the person performing is actually, themselves, part of the art - I would imagine this to be true - but I think this is what differentiates the spheres.

And, more than anything, writing is as automatic and as essential to me as breathing. Or eating. It’s just something that’s part of my day and necessary for normal functioning. For people who master the other spheres, you can see that they have this feeling about their own medium. I saw it on the faces of the performers last night. They live and breathe music. Their instruments are extensions of their identities that they have to exorcise. When I scroll through the Instagram profiles of visual artists, their dedication to the craft is demonstrated through the picture after picture after picture of their creations.

And, finally, I am now – perhaps like the musicians – confident enough to think that my work is good enough. I also think it’s now good enough for others. So yes, maybe I am more like the musicians than I think.

[elsewhereuniversity]

ASKS - Mini Stories/Headcanons/Ideas

Little ask-stories sent to my main blog, posted here!

violetsnowstorm555 said: Archaeology majors agree never to dig anywhere near campus for fear of what might come up.

Anon said: What about that one kid who thinks the fair folk are actually ALIENS

k4t3yk4t said: There was that one occasion with the Vegan™ freshman who discovered the black fur coat in her roommate's closet. She was so appalled... She stole it, not to keep, but to confront her roommate later about. She never got the chance to. She wasn't seen for months, but eventually came back. She was different, when she did, though.. And never went near the pool again.

unicorn-aly said: The Girl With The Eye Tattoo on The Back Of Her Neck™; To always be kind to That One Janitor; don't pass that broom closet unless it's a life or death situation (and even then run as fast as you can); to say your purpose and you mean no harm when you enter That Room; leave exactly 9 cups of vanilla creamer under that tree; don't step on the tiny hills lest your head should face the opposite way for the rest of your life; never ever EVER pick up and keep the things you find in the mini garden 2/3

(I can’t find the other two asks connected to this which is a tragedy bc this fragment is a Gem)

chaoswolf1982 said: I am sooooo tempted to headcanon that EU is one of the places where citizens from Night Vale attend for higher education, but due to NV's own innate weirdnesses, those who've attended find absolutely nothing unusual or strange about the place, it being equivalent to them as being a quiet and plain small-town college. A good math program, decent arts scholarship, but nothing particularly stands out about it.

scarymaryanne said: OHMYGOD I'm in love with Elsewhere Uni! Just thinking about the RAs and how far they are willing/allowed to go to keep their students from getting nabbed. Like a rota for who rings the bells at dawn and dusk and no one will ever skip that duty, not again. And watching for signs of who might get taken. You can't foil them all the time cos they get mad but that tiny dance major on your floor is TOO fragile to revel with the Gentry and you will camp outside their door with salt and iron and the RAs who go in at the end of the year to get back those who were taken spend all year hoarding favours and gifts to use to get people out. They keep the crows sweet because while they would never, ever spy on the Fair Folk they've been known to drop tidbits of information and gossip that come in handy. They're the silver tongued English and Poli-sci majors who know exactly how to wheedle those who were taken back home

thecommrade said: EU idea. That one kid that everything seems to revolve around them. Are they the ring master? Are they a fae? Do they have forbidden dark magic? Nobody really knows. They're honestly too crazy to get a straight answers from them. Its always some cryptic poem of nonsense.

themarginalthinker said: They slide their notebook towards you. "I won't bite, promise!" You look down at the offering, the bullet points and neatly written summaries of the professor's lecture. Though sleep-deprived you are, pull away, sudden sickening realization of what you've done. They're smiling again, and there's something pinched between their fingers - a single hair. You'd taken their offer. They took their due. You don't acknowledge them day after next. Their eyes don't match. You know that hair color. You try to get your bearings on what's going on in class, not paying a whole lot of attention to the new student. Who is paying a lot of attention to you. "Bad week, huh?" They ask. You nod absently, suddenly realizing you don't know anyone really well in this class enough to ask for notes. Damn it..."Want to see mine?" The new student asks. You look over, finally - they seem friendly enough, an why not. Their eyes do not match. "Um..." You hesitate. They smile and /their eyes do not match/.

roseverdict said: headcanon: EU's school song rings a little longer, a bit louder, at home games. and in dorms. and honestly it's always playing just out of hearing range for the upperclassmen but the freshmen are freaking out that there's the song aLWAYS GOING-

solongraggedydoctor said: Elsewhere university. Their are three distinct types of non believers who attend. All three arrive unaware of the far world type 1) rapidly changes their views on the world, and accept and believe. Type 2) they willingly follow the rules, as they've seen what happens otherwise, but they say they don't believe, if just so if it turns out to be a joke they don't look stupid, they get got a few times. Type 3) they outright deny, and oddly, no matter what they do, nothing happens ... And oddly, no matter what they do, nothing ever happens to them. They show disrespect, follow none of the fae rules, and are still left alone, but then, towards the end of their final year, they kinda just seem to disappear, and no one really seems to remember where they went, and even years after the fact, no one you know has had any kind of contact with type 3, other than rumours that they moved away, and did something unnoteworthy. 

las-lus said: About elsewhere university: Kids who dont notice time running slower because "fuck, isnt this how it usually runs in calculus' class?". Kids who Starr drawing weird shit on their notebooks and their friends dont know if its from that weird geometry class, if they started a new drawing style of If they've been abducted. Im majoring in physics and really I cant stop thinking How hard would It be for us to notice If our friends had been taken

kass-king-of-sass said: Hi, just wanted to say your stuff for elsewhere university is amazing. I don't know if you're still accepting stuff and I've never submitted an ask like this before but here goes. I've been imagining mischievous or angered fae living in residence halls and playing tricks on the inhabitants. Pulling the fire alarm at 2 am, locking people out of their rooms, messing with the thermostats, burning food in the microwaves, things like that. All the hallmarks of a bad roommate but with a fae twist.

Anon said: There are certain alleys on campus that, on some nights, lead to faerie pavilions. If you bring them an offering, the fair folk will let you dance with them and will not harm you as long as you don't eat the food and leave before dawn.

Anon said: Oh, oh! I'm an interior design/architect student! Just imagining all the little tricks of the eyes that you could learn from the fae and then implement in human design is so exciting!

Anon said: sorry im sure youre getting a veritable INFLUX these days but imagine: student at Elsewhere whose parents' expectations have guided them into med/law/some other 'esteemed' course but theyre secretly into/good at art or singing or something. the fae would have such good sport luring them away after they sang under their breath in the wrong part of campus or one of their pages of doodling got blown in the breeze out of the window :3:3

Anon said: A freshman who lives off campus in her own apartment but Knows more than any other freshman or off campus student. She smiles and speaks carefully eyes always watching she goes by a name that's familiar to some until one night at a party she challenges one of Them to a game of 21. She drops 2 pictures on the table one of 2 girls a younger her and dark haired girl with a duffle bag in her hands and the other is of the dark haired girl with a boy who has empty eyes. "I want to see my sister again"

Anon said: In the end, it turns out she was never any different from you. She just happens to be from Iceland, just happened to have grown up with Gentry in her garden and the sea in her back yard. The one place where one lives with Them in the mountains, the one place where even the government respect Them. She never needed salt, she had hemmed her skirts with rocks and painted her nails with volcanic ashes. You conclude that international students can be just as foreign as the Fae (3/3)

Anon said: A student invested in geopolitics strikes a deal; "Give me the power to stop the corporate damming and I'll make sure no human ever nears the Nile". After all, the fae doesn't care whether their actions hurt the humans, and the student now posses unprecedented bargaining chip against at least four different governments

[networkingdefinition]

Wellness Quotes

Official Website: Wellness Quotes

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• Because we are interested in promoting wellness, we will integrate medicine with performing arts, arts and crafts, agriculture, recreation, nature, and social service. – Patch Adams • Becoming a mother has made me even more aware and more passionate about nutrition and wellness. So much so that I am now a certified health coach practitioner. – Miranda Kerr • Being empowered includes developing the powerful qualities that lead human beings to cultivate wellness and healing. And those are the same qualities that enhance all relationships on earth and reduce stress (which seems to be the largest precursor to disease)-gentle ness, calmness, patience, humility, compassion, and gratitude. – Bryan Kest • Committing to a lifetime of wellness is not a luxury-it’s a necessity. You’ll never have enough time; you have to make the time. – Oprah Winfrey • Even people who aren’t sick may not have optimal wellness. – Brian Carter • I can feel guilty about the past, Apprehensive about the future,but only in the present can I act.The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness. – Abraham Maslow • I never want to try to be a spokesperson for health and wellness because I most definitely am not the most in shape person in the world. – Ruben Studdard • I personally think fitness is a very important part of skincare and overall health and wellness and beauty. I think that the skin is our largest organ. – Gwyneth Paltrow • Illness begins with “I”, Wellness begins with “we – Sivananda • In my view, prescribing antidepressant drugs is too often a quick and easy substitute for developing treatment plans that address the totality of health concerns and lifestyle factors that have an impact on wellness, including emotional wellness. – Andrew Weil

• It [The Gesundheit Institute] also won’t separate the healing arts. All of them work together – traditional medicine and surgery with acupuncture, homeopathy, etc. We want to make the hospital a place a person can’t wait to come to, whether they are working there or being there as a patient. Because we are interested in promoting wellness, we will integrate medicine with performing arts, arts and crafts, agriculture, recreation, nature, and social service. Those are some skeletal parts. – Patch Adams

• It is equally important to investigate wellness as it is to study misery. – Sonja Lyubomirsky • It’s important to try to get people to think about women’s wellness. – Billie Jean King • I’ve always wanted to be in the health and wellness business. I try to encourage people to live a healthy lifestyle. – Mark Wahlberg • I’ve heard claims that we can wish our way to perfect, permanent wellness, but I haven’t seen any proof of that. Sickness and death are part of life. But you can optimize your life. You can make progress as you strive toward perfection. – Brian Carter • Joy is the clearest indicator of deep wellness. – Danielle LaPorte • Let’s start working towards wellness, a healing in our community, a healing in relationships, so male and female can finally sit down and understand that that young boy or young girl saw behavior exhibited by their parents that was negative and abusive and they’re going to pass it on. – Pam Grier • Live from the inside out. Your mind, body and spirit are interconnected. Nourish your soul with mental and physical wellness. – Janet Taylor Spence • Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is. – Mary Anne Radmacher

• My own path towards wellness has been a long and dynamic one. It’s taught me that healing from the inside out takes time and there can be great value in various sources of guidance. – Carre Otis

• Part of abandoning the all-or-nothing mentality is allowing yourself room for setbacks. We are bound to have lapses on the road to health and wellness, but it is critical that we learn how to handle small failures positively so that we can minimize their long-term destructive effects. One setback is one setback—it is not the end of the world, nor is it the end of your journey toward a better you. – Jillian Michaels • Quantum wellness isn’t about deprivation and it’s not about perfection. It is about pointing yourself in the direction of growth, training yourself to get comfortable with your highest potential, and then taking small steps to support that shift. It’s about showing up for yourself, day by day, and then one day finding that you’ve undergone a transformation. – Kathy Freston • Smell is the primordial sense, more powerful, more primitive, more intimately tied to our memories and emotions than any other. A scent can trigger spiritual, emotional or physical peace and stimulate healing and wellness. – Donna Karan

• Some spiritual traditions view the moment of birth as a passage from a state of wholeness and knowledge to a state of forgetting. In this view of the world, we spend the rest of our lives searching for wholeness and knowledge, wellness and health-the balance and harmony we lost when we were born. If our wholeness is interrupted, then our health suffers, and we need to find a way to restore our sense of meaning. When we move in the direction of that meaning, we’re healing. – Bernie Siegel • Sometimes the road to wellness isnt a well-marked expressway. – Scott Jurek

• The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness. – Abraham Maslow • The early pioneers of both wellness and network marketing were motivated by the sense that it was possible to create a better life than the conventional routes offered – better personal health and better economic health, respectively. Now the ‘alternatives’ of yesterday have become the economic powerhouses of today and tomorrow. – Paul Zane Pilzer • The patient must be at the center of this transition. Our largest struggle is not with the patient who takes their medication regularly, but with the patient who does not engage in their own care. Technology can be the driver that excites a patient with the prospect of wellness. – Stephen Beck

• The wellness and prevention market will outgrow the health care market. – Leroy Hood • There are six components of wellness: proper weight and diet, proper exercise, breaking the smoking habit, control of alcohol, stress management and periodic exams. – Kenneth H. Cooper • We do have the ability to shift our paradigms – by shifting our belief systems, by working on ourselves, by looking very closely at how we show up in the world. It’s why I’m into health and wellness. It’s why my partner and I are very focused on creating a life that is about being connected; it’s about being present. Because my life was probably so much in the past. I was so fearful. I was so fearful of the future because I was so scared of my past. So if you can work towards being present, then you can shift. – Mariel Hemingway • We need total health more than medically approved health. Our wellness should not be limited to our doctor’s experience, but enhanced by our own experience. – Andrew Saul • Wellness within is mindfulness and acceptance of what you are, what you feel inside and how it’s always changing. That process is helped by being attentive to the breath as it moves through the body. – Rodney Yee • When ‘I’ replaced with ‘We’, even the illness becomes wellness. – Malcolm X • When people take greater ownership of their own health care and are encouraged to do that in a health plan, their health gets better. They pursue more wellness opportunities. – Mike Pence • While holding positive thoughts and emotions is advantageous, positive thinking itself is not “Hallmark Card thinking.” It’s really an ongoing awareness that all truly is well with the world, with life, and with oneself. It’s also a commitment not to mindlessly pass on fears but to bring positive energy, images, ideas, and feelings into the lives of others, to help them attune to the wellness at the heart of the world. – David Spangler • Yoga is at the core of my health and wellness routine; even if it’s only for 10 to 15 minutes I find it helps me to re-center and to focus as well as improve my overall core strength. – Miranda Kerr

[clickbank-storefront-bestselling]

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[equitiesstocks]

Wellness Quotes

Official Website: Wellness Quotes

  • A balanced life is like a three legged stool. Each leg – nutrition, fitness and wellness- is necessary and supports the other. – Ellie Krieger • America’s health care system is in crisis precisely because we systematically neglect wellness and prevention. – Tom Harkin

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• Because we are interested in promoting wellness, we will integrate medicine with performing arts, arts and crafts, agriculture, recreation, nature, and social service. – Patch Adams • Becoming a mother has made me even more aware and more passionate about nutrition and wellness. So much so that I am now a certified health coach practitioner. – Miranda Kerr • Being empowered includes developing the powerful qualities that lead human beings to cultivate wellness and healing. And those are the same qualities that enhance all relationships on earth and reduce stress (which seems to be the largest precursor to disease)-gentle ness, calmness, patience, humility, compassion, and gratitude. – Bryan Kest • Committing to a lifetime of wellness is not a luxury-it’s a necessity. You’ll never have enough time; you have to make the time. – Oprah Winfrey • Even people who aren’t sick may not have optimal wellness. – Brian Carter • I can feel guilty about the past, Apprehensive about the future,but only in the present can I act.The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness. – Abraham Maslow • I never want to try to be a spokesperson for health and wellness because I most definitely am not the most in shape person in the world. – Ruben Studdard • I personally think fitness is a very important part of skincare and overall health and wellness and beauty. I think that the skin is our largest organ. – Gwyneth Paltrow • Illness begins with “I”, Wellness begins with “we – Sivananda • In my view, prescribing antidepressant drugs is too often a quick and easy substitute for developing treatment plans that address the totality of health concerns and lifestyle factors that have an impact on wellness, including emotional wellness. – Andrew Weil

• It [The Gesundheit Institute] also won’t separate the healing arts. All of them work together – traditional medicine and surgery with acupuncture, homeopathy, etc. We want to make the hospital a place a person can’t wait to come to, whether they are working there or being there as a patient. Because we are interested in promoting wellness, we will integrate medicine with performing arts, arts and crafts, agriculture, recreation, nature, and social service. Those are some skeletal parts. – Patch Adams

• It is equally important to investigate wellness as it is to study misery. – Sonja Lyubomirsky • It’s important to try to get people to think about women’s wellness. – Billie Jean King • I’ve always wanted to be in the health and wellness business. I try to encourage people to live a healthy lifestyle. – Mark Wahlberg • I’ve heard claims that we can wish our way to perfect, permanent wellness, but I haven’t seen any proof of that. Sickness and death are part of life. But you can optimize your life. You can make progress as you strive toward perfection. – Brian Carter • Joy is the clearest indicator of deep wellness. – Danielle LaPorte • Let’s start working towards wellness, a healing in our community, a healing in relationships, so male and female can finally sit down and understand that that young boy or young girl saw behavior exhibited by their parents that was negative and abusive and they’re going to pass it on. – Pam Grier • Live from the inside out. Your mind, body and spirit are interconnected. Nourish your soul with mental and physical wellness. – Janet Taylor Spence • Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is. – Mary Anne Radmacher

• My own path towards wellness has been a long and dynamic one. It’s taught me that healing from the inside out takes time and there can be great value in various sources of guidance. – Carre Otis

• Part of abandoning the all-or-nothing mentality is allowing yourself room for setbacks. We are bound to have lapses on the road to health and wellness, but it is critical that we learn how to handle small failures positively so that we can minimize their long-term destructive effects. One setback is one setback—it is not the end of the world, nor is it the end of your journey toward a better you. – Jillian Michaels • Quantum wellness isn’t about deprivation and it’s not about perfection. It is about pointing yourself in the direction of growth, training yourself to get comfortable with your highest potential, and then taking small steps to support that shift. It’s about showing up for yourself, day by day, and then one day finding that you’ve undergone a transformation. – Kathy Freston • Smell is the primordial sense, more powerful, more primitive, more intimately tied to our memories and emotions than any other. A scent can trigger spiritual, emotional or physical peace and stimulate healing and wellness. – Donna Karan

• Some spiritual traditions view the moment of birth as a passage from a state of wholeness and knowledge to a state of forgetting. In this view of the world, we spend the rest of our lives searching for wholeness and knowledge, wellness and health-the balance and harmony we lost when we were born. If our wholeness is interrupted, then our health suffers, and we need to find a way to restore our sense of meaning. When we move in the direction of that meaning, we’re healing. – Bernie Siegel • Sometimes the road to wellness isnt a well-marked expressway. – Scott Jurek

• The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness. – Abraham Maslow • The early pioneers of both wellness and network marketing were motivated by the sense that it was possible to create a better life than the conventional routes offered – better personal health and better economic health, respectively. Now the ‘alternatives’ of yesterday have become the economic powerhouses of today and tomorrow. – Paul Zane Pilzer • The patient must be at the center of this transition. Our largest struggle is not with the patient who takes their medication regularly, but with the patient who does not engage in their own care. Technology can be the driver that excites a patient with the prospect of wellness. – Stephen Beck

• The wellness and prevention market will outgrow the health care market. – Leroy Hood • There are six components of wellness: proper weight and diet, proper exercise, breaking the smoking habit, control of alcohol, stress management and periodic exams. – Kenneth H. Cooper • We do have the ability to shift our paradigms – by shifting our belief systems, by working on ourselves, by looking very closely at how we show up in the world. It’s why I’m into health and wellness. It’s why my partner and I are very focused on creating a life that is about being connected; it’s about being present. Because my life was probably so much in the past. I was so fearful. I was so fearful of the future because I was so scared of my past. So if you can work towards being present, then you can shift. – Mariel Hemingway • We need total health more than medically approved health. Our wellness should not be limited to our doctor’s experience, but enhanced by our own experience. – Andrew Saul • Wellness within is mindfulness and acceptance of what you are, what you feel inside and how it’s always changing. That process is helped by being attentive to the breath as it moves through the body. – Rodney Yee • When ‘I’ replaced with ‘We’, even the illness becomes wellness. – Malcolm X • When people take greater ownership of their own health care and are encouraged to do that in a health plan, their health gets better. They pursue more wellness opportunities. – Mike Pence • While holding positive thoughts and emotions is advantageous, positive thinking itself is not “Hallmark Card thinking.” It’s really an ongoing awareness that all truly is well with the world, with life, and with oneself. It’s also a commitment not to mindlessly pass on fears but to bring positive energy, images, ideas, and feelings into the lives of others, to help them attune to the wellness at the heart of the world. – David Spangler • Yoga is at the core of my health and wellness routine; even if it’s only for 10 to 15 minutes I find it helps me to re-center and to focus as well as improve my overall core strength. – Miranda Kerr

[clickbank-storefront-bestselling]

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[oyvavoy]

1. do as much good for other people as you can and the same will be returned to you in some way by the universe. or at least just stay neutral. dont be a dick and try to have as much fun as you can

2. extremely important aspect of society, humans need a way to express emotion and the arts is a perfect way. make something beautiful out of what you feel

3. that its okay to feel

4. good fucking question i think maybe just try to put as much of yourself into your work as you can and dont be afraid to be raw and honest about yourself. reveal your flaws. it makes you more human and makes your work more personal

5. work that shows that the artist is not afraid to show everything that goes on in their head is always great work to me

6. i don’t know

7. i try to capture how i feel about what im observing through line and shadow. i like to keep my sketches lose and shaky because it gives me a feeling of imperfection. i like the imperfections of art, you can tell someone really put time into it 

8. its everything i need to make my drawings, my inspirations

9. i cant. its hard to really communicate to people that thought process 

10. simple one. do your work and then do whatever makes you happy for the rest of your time 

11. the people i care about and my animation practice 

12. people help me find inspiration, people give me their love, people show me that its okay to not take everything so seriously, that its okay to just be. most people are focused on their own lives so much, its interesting to see what its like on the outside looking in at just someone walking past me on the street

13. yes

14. someone to give you unconditional support when you need it, and someone to celebrate with you when you deserve to celebrate. love is refusing to let someone go through life alone

15. distance is something that couldve been but was lost on the way

16. quiet, in my own head

17. yes

18. they make everyones experience unique

19. what dis mean

20. i am actively trying to get what i think and feel out on paper in whatever means necessary

21. what

22. almost nothing except we were put here to do what makes us happy 

23. sometimes its overwhelming all of the things around me to feel and process 

24. i tell myself this is not how you want it to end 

25. its a little hypocritical me saying this but be involved with other people, even if its just walking around outside, you dont have to interact with anyone but i think people watching is really great 

26. yes

27. dont base your work on whats happening around you because everything around you always changes, base your work on what happens within you and youlll always be timeless. feelings are always going to be feelings, good or bad

28. focus on others instead of yourself

29. i dont! emptiness is cold

30. human

31. find likeminded people to spend your time with and you wont feel like you have to be someone else. its extremely important to be yourself

32. sometimes you do need to make active decisions yes

33. yes

34. im not one to limit what to think about, thats up to each person 

35. no

36. everyone has desires, doesnt make them right or wrong its just the truth

37. honestly when it comes to other people i feel they have more of an idea of their intent than i do. when it comes to me i am always criticizing and comparing

38. not sure if people want to answer them

39. remember that we are all the same and feel the same things. we all get happy and giggly and full of life, and we all feel deep sadness from time to time

40. remember that everyone has an equally as complex life as you do

41. because everyone sees shallow since its on the surface, depth is something you have to work for

42. i just want to be happy

43. i want to be a gentle soul that tries to help whenever they can

44. with my ears because i cant pay attention

45. what

46. i believe thats called an introduction 

47. because what they have is important to them and they dont want to live like they did before they had it 

48. because it hasnt effected them yet, the past already has

49. care about things that actually matter 

50. because thats how our beings are restrained. we grow old with time

51. love

52. besides food and shelter love and acceptance 

53. let go of the past and look forward to the future

54. i get overwhelmed by too many people in a small space

55. its fun to be a little weird sometimes

56. there are a lot of people who think in similar ways, which isnt good or bad necessarily but sometimes its good to see something new as long as its positive

57. for the most part no

58. through my work

59. i think its good! as long as you arent recreating what someone else has already done. ive been influenced by many people

60. anger, self esteem issues

61. primal, focused only on survival

62. i cant see it i dont think it exists

63. honesty

64. honestly therapy dfkgjh

65. self centered people, people that refuse to truly connect with anyone out of the fear of someone knowing who they are no frills are people who lead poor lives

66. what

67. i dont necessarily detest it, i just think you need to find a balance between material things and spiritual things. not everything is about material things but its okay to like those things. just be reasonable

68. i think you can be happy in almost any situation if you think this way

69. i dont face it because i fear it, it reflects the pain ive had to feel up to this point. once something happens i dont want to bring it back into my head but sometimes it seems i dont have a choice in the matter

70. absolutely. its always good to ask questions

71. i feel somewhat satisfied but far from full 

72. it is but i dont think that person would grow much at all 

73. i think nature itself transcends beauty 

74. to an extent yes

75. i want to move people 

76. expose yourself to as many different experiences as possible to broaden your inspiration

77. because it makes them safe 

78. depends on the thing

79. accept that sometimes things just happen without a reason

80. its not necessary but being remembered is always positive if youve done good in life 

81. stop caring about everything, turn completely inward

82.  what

83. you know yourself by living with yourself. spending time alone you get to know yourself quite well

84. because not everyone should think the same as other people. you experience life completely differently to someone else so opinions should usually reflect that 

85. by spending time together, not necessarily doing something, just being in each others company i find i get attached to people if i can just be with them without needing to do something with them too

86. see 36

87. i think its scary, i cling to the known as do most people i think

88. someone taught them to think that way 

89. if someone goes out of their way to tell you their negative opinion of you or what youre doing then their opinion shouldnt matter to you in the first place because they come from a place of negativity 

90. open and honest, moving, unique and creative

91. what

92. thinking about it inspires you and makes you want to do great

93. keep asking yourself what can you do to be better

94. i believe its a real thing

95. trust and communication

96. you talk to them 

97. people and the environment are both living things, you must treat them with respect and care 

98. free

99. its important to know your tastes

100. people need to constantly be questioning their lives to improve them

[relationshipadviser-blog]

Louise Redknapp: Strictly put the fire back in my belly but it didnt break up my relationship

New Post has been published on https://relationshipqia.com/must-see/louise-redknapp-strictly-put-the-fire-back-in-my-belly-but-it-didnt-break-up-my-relationship/

Louise Redknapp: Strictly put the fire back in my belly but it didnt break up my relationship

For 19 years, the former Eternal star gave up everything to play housewife to her famous footballer husband. So what does it feel like to have walked out on that life and reinvented herself?

The night before I meet Louise Redknapp, I go to see her in her latest West End show, 9 to 5 The Musical. She plays Violet, the character made famous by Lili Tomlin in the classic 1980 film, and in many ways the most obviously feminist character in the story. Redknapp herself is very enjoyable to watch, stomping around the stage, furiously pointing out that men get promotions for laughing at the bosss jokes while she is not even thanked for making the coffee. But, not long ago, this casting would have seemed bizarre.

Redknapp has been in the public eye for a quarter of a century, but she has never exactly been associated with feminism. After studying at the Italia Conti stage school, Louise Nurding, as she was then known, shot to fame at the age of 18 in the early 90s girl group Eternal, and then cemented her celebrity status by achieving that ultimate 90s ambition, marrying a footballer Jamie Redknapp, the son of manager Harry. Their telegenic union the pretty pop star and equally pretty sports star predated the Beckhams, but the Redknapps were a less flashy proposition. When their first child was born, in 2004, she quit her by then solo music career to live in what she frequently described as domestic bliss. Redknapp came across as sweet, unthreatening and a bit bland, and seemed destined for a contented life as a Surrey housewife with her two sons, Charley, now 14, and Beau, 10, living among the footballing dynasty. But then, in 2017, Redknapp did something that no one expected: she walked out of her marriage.

I meet Redknapp, 44, in a room in the Savoy hotel in London, just above the theatre where she is appearing in 9 to 5. As well as performing tonight, she will spend the afternoon finishing work on her upcoming album, Heavy Love, her first in 18 years, which will be released in October. Whatever emotional toll her divorce which was finalised in December 2017 has exacted on her, it has certainly motivated, or freed, her professionally.

Redknapp as Violet Newstead (centre) with Natalie McQueen and Amber Davies in 9 to 5 The Musical. Photograph: Simon Turtle

In tight black trousers, ankle boots and a loose dark top, her hair long and highlighted in various shades of gold and auburn, she looks almost identical to how she did in her pop heyday. She embraces me with the easy warmth of one who is very practised in the art of making strangers like her.

Did you see the show last night? Did you like it? Its fun, right? Oh good, Im so glad. You liked it, right? she says with more nervousness than I had expected: she was the one, after all, who chose a new storyline, and walked away.

We talk about the show, and Redknapp eagerly brings up how timely its revival is, off the back of the #MeToo movement. She insists she never experienced any sexual harassment when she was working as a 90s pop star and appearing in mens magazines: Maybe because I was so young, she suggests, which isnt the most credible reason. Or maybe because [Eternal] were so successful so quickly, so the record company cocooned us, she adds, which seems more plausible.

And yet she does feel a personal connection to 9 to 5: You know, its about female empowerment and I think Im at a stage of my life when I really need that, to stand up and be strong, she says.

Although Redknapp makes frequent references during our conversation to her gang of girlfriends, seeing her onstage the night before was the first time I had seen her surrounded by women since her Eternal days. For the past 20 years, whenever she was photographed she was invariably with her husband. I tell her it always surprised me that she was never part of the group of high-profile wives and girlfriends of other footballers, given how ready-made she seemed for that role. But she was never photographed out having a laugh with Colleen Rooney and Cheryl Cole. I think Jamie, being that slightly bit more old school, didnt want any of that. His sport is what comes first, no circus around it. So I just kept to myself, she says.

When Redknapp confirmed, in September 2017, that her seemingly perfect marriage was over, the circus around the two of them could hardly have been more hysterical. While the British public is very used to footballers leaving their wives, no one seemed to know what to make of the narrative being reversed.

It was more mutual than that but, yes, I moved out, she says, carefully, when I ask if she initiated the divorce. She was followed by battalions of paparazzi every night and the celebrity press tutted at her late nights on the town (to the theatre, where, at the time, she was starring in Cabaret).

With Jamie Redknapp in 2010, seven years before they split up. Photograph: Paul Grover/Rex/Shutterstock

At around the same time, Wayne Rooney was accused, again, of infidelity when he was caught drink driving with a young woman who was not his wife. But whereas Rooneys actions were treated with a benign just-Wayne-being-Wayne shrug by the public, Redknapp was nationally castigated for having a midlife crisis and abandoning her children. Did she notice the disparity between the coverage of the two stories?

I did. I felt it. And I felt really, really bullied. It made me want to scream. Just because I went back to work and my marriage wasnt working out doesnt mean I wasnt with my kids, she says with a rod of fury in her voice. And, yeah, when I was in Cabaret I wasnt putting them to bed every night, but its no different to a man in the City working late.

Or Jamie doing late-night football commentary? Yeah, on A League of Their Own. Jamie would then take the kids on holiday and the papers would say: Oh, what an amazing dad. And he is an amazing dad; I cannot say a bad word about Jamie when it comes to being a dad. But no one patted me on the back when Id taken the kids on Easter holiday on my own for the past 10 years. Jamie had to work doing the football, it was school holidays, so Id take them on holiday and never once did anyone say: What a great mum. It was really tough sitting back and not speaking up.

There was such widespread bafflement at Redknapps decision to leave her marriage that there was inevitable speculation about why. Many cited Strictly Come Dancing, on which Redknapp had appeared the previous year, and its record of ending relationships. Strictly put the fire back in my belly, but it didnt break up my relationship. After 20 years of marriage, it takes a lot more than that, scoffs Redknapp.

It was also suggested that Redknapp was having an affair with the model Daisy Lowe, who had appeared on Strictly with her. Redknapp reels back against the sofa when I mention this.

I really think the double standards were coming into play there, she says. Because people were adamant there had to be a specific reason for you leaving your husband? She nods: Yeah, and Daisy and I only went out together four times or something. So the idea [that I left my husband for Lowe] I remember my kids saying: Mum, are you going out with Daisy Lowe? And I had to say: Guys, no. I became peoples morning entertainment while they read their paper on the train and ate their croissant. I tried to laugh it off, but the damage these stories were doing to me and those around me was huge.

Redknapp or Louise Nurding as she was then with her Eternal bandmates in 1994. Photograph: Tony Larkin/Rex/Shutterstock

In order to understand the end of a marriage it is necessary to understand its beginnings and, for all the lurid speculation, the path that led the Redknapps to divorce was all too prosaic. When they married in 1998, she was at least as big a star as him, but she happily gave up her music career to be a wife and mother: It took me so long to get pregnant the first time four years so I was just so in love with my little boy, she says. And, for the first seven or eight years, it was quite nice to not have to worry about where your records going, or if people like you. But as time went on, Id drop the kids off at school, go home, walk the dogs and then go home and think: I have five hours until school pick-up. Thats a long day. It was fine when they were young, because Id pick them up at 12. Then it changed; theyre at school and doing sport, Jamie was doing his thing, and there was pure panic. I was lonely and I felt like I had nothing to say.

Redknapp and her ex-husband have been careful in speaking only positively of one another throughout their divorce, but hints of other narratives shine through the cracks. She refers to him as a family man and their marriage as traditional, and while he grew up in a close, old-fashioned family, she was the daughter of a very independent working mum, and, yes, maybe subconsciously, she agrees, that might have created some problems between them. She was not a football fan (No, never, she says, firmly and proudly), so I ask if it was ever a tiny bit dull being ensconced with the Redknapps, given that her then husband, father-in-law and husbands cousin, Frank Lampard, are all football royalty. I think I just got used to it, she says with a winning smile.

Redknapps explanation about the split is that she had low self-esteem and didnt feel able to say she wanted to start working again, and in no way was that her ex-husbands fault. I wish Id spoken up and said how I felt, but I thought everyone would think I was nuts and say: Why are you low? Look at you, youre so lucky.

But if you had spoken up, would Jamie have been OK with you going back on the stage and in the studio? She pauses: I dont know. But at least Id have known I tried, she says.

So it was easier to leave than to say anything? Her voice drops: Maybe. We women dont make it easy for ourselves.

Given Strictlys record of ending relationships, I ask if she agreed to be on the show because she saw it as a way out of her marriage. You know, I like to think no. I like to think not at all. I think I just went into Strictly looking for something to do.

These days, Jamie still lives in the Surrey family home and Redknapp is a few minutes away and they share custody of their children. It is clear that she feels liberated by her divorce, so I ask if she plans to revert to her maiden name. She looks poleaxed by the suggestion. Ummm no. Its such a mum thing, but the thought of not having the same name as my kids, I could cry thinking about it. But maybe if Jamie gets married Id have to change it I dont know how that works, she says with an anxious giggle.

This leads us to talking about dating, and whereas Jamie has been photographed with several women, Redknapp has remained single. Its really hard for women. Im beginning to think Im never going to meet anyone Ive not been out for a meal, just me and a guy in a restaurant, in two years. That makes me sound really sad, doesnt it?

It takes a while to get over a 19-year marriage. Yeah, I think its easier for men, she says.

With her dance partner Kevin Clifton on Strictly Come Dancing in 2016. Photograph: PA/Guy Levy/BBC

It doesnt upset her when she sees her ex-husband out with other women (But, yes, of course, its hard for the boys. I tell them, Dads a single man and hes doing nothing wrong, she says). Sometimes, though, it is a bit strange. The day before we meet, he was photographed with the British model Lizzie Bowden, who was widely described in the press as a Louise Redknapp lookalike. It is kinda weird! And then I start looking at them thinking, Do they look like me? But hes got his taste, she says with a shrug.

I like Redknapp. Yes, she has that tendency, common to graduates of stage school, of affecting immediate intimacy, but there is an emotional honesty to her that is almost certainly born from the ordeal of the past two years. It is impossible not to cheer for a woman who for so long was defined in relation to others first a pop group, then a husband taking the risk to strike out on her own. And although many were surprised when she left her high-profile marriage, there has long been a more independent streak in her than her hotter-than-average girl-next-door image suggested. She did, after all, leave Eternal in 1995 after their hugely successful debut album to launch her solo career.

Id just had enough, she says. We were very different and had different directions. We werent harmonised. Girl bands are tough.

Does she mean they were fighting? Not fighting, just, um, different, she says, diplomatically.

She talks excitedly about her plans for the next decade: more albums, more musicals, and, of course, bringing up two teenagers.

But what Id really like to do is buy the rights to a movie and produce a stage show from it, she says.

Any in particular? Thelma and Louise, she replies, and smiles.

Louise Redknapps new single, Stretch, is out now. She appears in 9 to 5 The Musical until 29 June

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

[mysteriouslyzealouspandalov-blog]

Louise Redknapp: Strictly put the fire back in my belly but it didnt break up my relationship

New Post has been published on https://relationshipguideto.com/must-see/louise-redknapp-strictly-put-the-fire-back-in-my-belly-but-it-didnt-break-up-my-relationship/

Louise Redknapp: Strictly put the fire back in my belly but it didnt break up my relationship

For 19 years, the former Eternal star gave up everything to play housewife to her famous footballer husband. So what does it feel like to have walked out on that life and reinvented herself?

The night before I meet Louise Redknapp, I go to see her in her latest West End show, 9 to 5 The Musical. She plays Violet, the character made famous by Lili Tomlin in the classic 1980 film, and in many ways the most obviously feminist character in the story. Redknapp herself is very enjoyable to watch, stomping around the stage, furiously pointing out that men get promotions for laughing at the bosss jokes while she is not even thanked for making the coffee. But, not long ago, this casting would have seemed bizarre.

Redknapp has been in the public eye for a quarter of a century, but she has never exactly been associated with feminism. After studying at the Italia Conti stage school, Louise Nurding, as she was then known, shot to fame at the age of 18 in the early 90s girl group Eternal, and then cemented her celebrity status by achieving that ultimate 90s ambition, marrying a footballer Jamie Redknapp, the son of manager Harry. Their telegenic union the pretty pop star and equally pretty sports star predated the Beckhams, but the Redknapps were a less flashy proposition. When their first child was born, in 2004, she quit her by then solo music career to live in what she frequently described as domestic bliss. Redknapp came across as sweet, unthreatening and a bit bland, and seemed destined for a contented life as a Surrey housewife with her two sons, Charley, now 14, and Beau, 10, living among the footballing dynasty. But then, in 2017, Redknapp did something that no one expected: she walked out of her marriage.

I meet Redknapp, 44, in a room in the Savoy hotel in London, just above the theatre where she is appearing in 9 to 5. As well as performing tonight, she will spend the afternoon finishing work on her upcoming album, Heavy Love, her first in 18 years, which will be released in October. Whatever emotional toll her divorce which was finalised in December 2017 has exacted on her, it has certainly motivated, or freed, her professionally.

Redknapp as Violet Newstead (centre) with Natalie McQueen and Amber Davies in 9 to 5 The Musical. Photograph: Simon Turtle

In tight black trousers, ankle boots and a loose dark top, her hair long and highlighted in various shades of gold and auburn, she looks almost identical to how she did in her pop heyday. She embraces me with the easy warmth of one who is very practised in the art of making strangers like her.

Did you see the show last night? Did you like it? Its fun, right? Oh good, Im so glad. You liked it, right? she says with more nervousness than I had expected: she was the one, after all, who chose a new storyline, and walked away.

We talk about the show, and Redknapp eagerly brings up how timely its revival is, off the back of the #MeToo movement. She insists she never experienced any sexual harassment when she was working as a 90s pop star and appearing in mens magazines: Maybe because I was so young, she suggests, which isnt the most credible reason. Or maybe because [Eternal] were so successful so quickly, so the record company cocooned us, she adds, which seems more plausible.

And yet she does feel a personal connection to 9 to 5: You know, its about female empowerment and I think Im at a stage of my life when I really need that, to stand up and be strong, she says.

Although Redknapp makes frequent references during our conversation to her gang of girlfriends, seeing her onstage the night before was the first time I had seen her surrounded by women since her Eternal days. For the past 20 years, whenever she was photographed she was invariably with her husband. I tell her it always surprised me that she was never part of the group of high-profile wives and girlfriends of other footballers, given how ready-made she seemed for that role. But she was never photographed out having a laugh with Colleen Rooney and Cheryl Cole. I think Jamie, being that slightly bit more old school, didnt want any of that. His sport is what comes first, no circus around it. So I just kept to myself, she says.

When Redknapp confirmed, in September 2017, that her seemingly perfect marriage was over, the circus around the two of them could hardly have been more hysterical. While the British public is very used to footballers leaving their wives, no one seemed to know what to make of the narrative being reversed.

It was more mutual than that but, yes, I moved out, she says, carefully, when I ask if she initiated the divorce. She was followed by battalions of paparazzi every night and the celebrity press tutted at her late nights on the town (to the theatre, where, at the time, she was starring in Cabaret).

With Jamie Redknapp in 2010, seven years before they split up. Photograph: Paul Grover/Rex/Shutterstock

At around the same time, Wayne Rooney was accused, again, of infidelity when he was caught drink driving with a young woman who was not his wife. But whereas Rooneys actions were treated with a benign just-Wayne-being-Wayne shrug by the public, Redknapp was nationally castigated for having a midlife crisis and abandoning her children. Did she notice the disparity between the coverage of the two stories?

I did. I felt it. And I felt really, really bullied. It made me want to scream. Just because I went back to work and my marriage wasnt working out doesnt mean I wasnt with my kids, she says with a rod of fury in her voice. And, yeah, when I was in Cabaret I wasnt putting them to bed every night, but its no different to a man in the City working late.

Or Jamie doing late-night football commentary? Yeah, on A League of Their Own. Jamie would then take the kids on holiday and the papers would say: Oh, what an amazing dad. And he is an amazing dad; I cannot say a bad word about Jamie when it comes to being a dad. But no one patted me on the back when Id taken the kids on Easter holiday on my own for the past 10 years. Jamie had to work doing the football, it was school holidays, so Id take them on holiday and never once did anyone say: What a great mum. It was really tough sitting back and not speaking up.

There was such widespread bafflement at Redknapps decision to leave her marriage that there was inevitable speculation about why. Many cited Strictly Come Dancing, on which Redknapp had appeared the previous year, and its record of ending relationships. Strictly put the fire back in my belly, but it didnt break up my relationship. After 20 years of marriage, it takes a lot more than that, scoffs Redknapp.

It was also suggested that Redknapp was having an affair with the model Daisy Lowe, who had appeared on Strictly with her. Redknapp reels back against the sofa when I mention this.

I really think the double standards were coming into play there, she says. Because people were adamant there had to be a specific reason for you leaving your husband? She nods: Yeah, and Daisy and I only went out together four times or something. So the idea [that I left my husband for Lowe] I remember my kids saying: Mum, are you going out with Daisy Lowe? And I had to say: Guys, no. I became peoples morning entertainment while they read their paper on the train and ate their croissant. I tried to laugh it off, but the damage these stories were doing to me and those around me was huge.

Redknapp or Louise Nurding as she was then with her Eternal bandmates in 1994. Photograph: Tony Larkin/Rex/Shutterstock

In order to understand the end of a marriage it is necessary to understand its beginnings and, for all the lurid speculation, the path that led the Redknapps to divorce was all too prosaic. When they married in 1998, she was at least as big a star as him, but she happily gave up her music career to be a wife and mother: It took me so long to get pregnant the first time four years so I was just so in love with my little boy, she says. And, for the first seven or eight years, it was quite nice to not have to worry about where your records going, or if people like you. But as time went on, Id drop the kids off at school, go home, walk the dogs and then go home and think: I have five hours until school pick-up. Thats a long day. It was fine when they were young, because Id pick them up at 12. Then it changed; theyre at school and doing sport, Jamie was doing his thing, and there was pure panic. I was lonely and I felt like I had nothing to say.

Redknapp and her ex-husband have been careful in speaking only positively of one another throughout their divorce, but hints of other narratives shine through the cracks. She refers to him as a family man and their marriage as traditional, and while he grew up in a close, old-fashioned family, she was the daughter of a very independent working mum, and, yes, maybe subconsciously, she agrees, that might have created some problems between them. She was not a football fan (No, never, she says, firmly and proudly), so I ask if it was ever a tiny bit dull being ensconced with the Redknapps, given that her then husband, father-in-law and husbands cousin, Frank Lampard, are all football royalty. I think I just got used to it, she says with a winning smile.

Redknapps explanation about the split is that she had low self-esteem and didnt feel able to say she wanted to start working again, and in no way was that her ex-husbands fault. I wish Id spoken up and said how I felt, but I thought everyone would think I was nuts and say: Why are you low? Look at you, youre so lucky.

But if you had spoken up, would Jamie have been OK with you going back on the stage and in the studio? She pauses: I dont know. But at least Id have known I tried, she says.

So it was easier to leave than to say anything? Her voice drops: Maybe. We women dont make it easy for ourselves.

Given Strictlys record of ending relationships, I ask if she agreed to be on the show because she saw it as a way out of her marriage. You know, I like to think no. I like to think not at all. I think I just went into Strictly looking for something to do.

These days, Jamie still lives in the Surrey family home and Redknapp is a few minutes away and they share custody of their children. It is clear that she feels liberated by her divorce, so I ask if she plans to revert to her maiden name. She looks poleaxed by the suggestion. Ummm no. Its such a mum thing, but the thought of not having the same name as my kids, I could cry thinking about it. But maybe if Jamie gets married Id have to change it I dont know how that works, she says with an anxious giggle.

This leads us to talking about dating, and whereas Jamie has been photographed with several women, Redknapp has remained single. Its really hard for women. Im beginning to think Im never going to meet anyone Ive not been out for a meal, just me and a guy in a restaurant, in two years. That makes me sound really sad, doesnt it?

It takes a while to get over a 19-year marriage. Yeah, I think its easier for men, she says.

With her dance partner Kevin Clifton on Strictly Come Dancing in 2016. Photograph: PA/Guy Levy/BBC

It doesnt upset her when she sees her ex-husband out with other women (But, yes, of course, its hard for the boys. I tell them, Dads a single man and hes doing nothing wrong, she says). Sometimes, though, it is a bit strange. The day before we meet, he was photographed with the British model Lizzie Bowden, who was widely described in the press as a Louise Redknapp lookalike. It is kinda weird! And then I start looking at them thinking, Do they look like me? But hes got his taste, she says with a shrug.

I like Redknapp. Yes, she has that tendency, common to graduates of stage school, of affecting immediate intimacy, but there is an emotional honesty to her that is almost certainly born from the ordeal of the past two years. It is impossible not to cheer for a woman who for so long was defined in relation to others first a pop group, then a husband taking the risk to strike out on her own. And although many were surprised when she left her high-profile marriage, there has long been a more independent streak in her than her hotter-than-average girl-next-door image suggested. She did, after all, leave Eternal in 1995 after their hugely successful debut album to launch her solo career.

Id just had enough, she says. We were very different and had different directions. We werent harmonised. Girl bands are tough.

Does she mean they were fighting? Not fighting, just, um, different, she says, diplomatically.

She talks excitedly about her plans for the next decade: more albums, more musicals, and, of course, bringing up two teenagers.

But what Id really like to do is buy the rights to a movie and produce a stage show from it, she says.

Any in particular? Thelma and Louise, she replies, and smiles.

Louise Redknapps new single, Stretch, is out now. She appears in 9 to 5 The Musical until 29 June

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

[booksandchainmail]

nanoha vivid liveblog: episode 3

And we’re back, to see our leads finally fight meet

I guess this liveblog is just Subaru and tea being cute together now

Sorry, nove, you’re stuck with a large, supportive family

Also, I know I’ve been gushing about various character designs a fair amount, but just in general I would like to praise the costuming on this show (is it still costuming if its animated?) theres a lot of variety and it all looks very nice and character distinct

“romantic” 

“sensitive”

I appreciate all her sisters teaming up to annoy Nove

Asking the important questions here

Though I really do appreciate the commitment to showing young girls who are deeply interested in martial arts

Not pictured: the quiet piano that starts as einhart introduces herself

Gods this whole sequence is just beautiful

With them staring at each other as the music swells

and the focus on eyes continues, though its sadder here, since einhart is thinking about olivie rather than vivio

einhart flusters easily

They weren’t bickering? Is this about einharts earlier extracurricular activities? I do like the concept that this extended family just kind of assumes that everyone is going to fight each other at first. Or that nove is just really enthusiastic about her students punching each other

A study in contrasts

Oh, so there was actually a reason for this fight. For an extremely large definition of “reason”

Once again, it was only a hundred years ago. He is at most your great-grandfather

How is this the hegemon’s physique? she’s just an older version of herself, not transforming to look like claus

huh, so this says centuries, which makes a lot more sense

I guess the wiki was wrong? or nanoha’s internal timeline is wildly inconsistent, which I would buy

This is weird angst to have

In all seriousness though, einhart’s voice here is heartbreaking. She’s carrying so much guilt and loss and there’s just no way for her to find redemption, because it was all over centuries ago, and the girl she needs to save is long dead, and the world has changed and there isnt space anymore for the kind of heroism she needs

extremely nanoha

I appreciate vivio moving like an actual boxer here

subaru spends 90% of her screen time looking at tea

The sound effects for this fight are these sort of sonic claps everytime they hit each other, which is real cool

The translation used here is disposition, but the japanese word is kokoro, which gets translated more often as heart. 

anyways, all the dialogue in this section is a great fusion of fighting anime rival stuff and nanoha style friendship/romance

please do not pick up einhart’s strength bullshit

awww

good sisters. also, the family resemblance shows in the hair

asjkdafhljgfsl

so my joke earlier about vivio sending regular emails about being determined to work hard and fight better is actually (semi) canon

EXTREMELY NANOHA

ALSO EXTREMELY GAY

annnnd were back to the angst zone

is that jeremiah girl?

Does einhart just live in a gym

Actually im not surprised that’s entirely in character

Someone please help this child

nove appreciation

Okay, this is about like all the trauma and war memories and guilt and stuff, but im entertained by thought that einhart is plagued by memories of resolving tax disputes or something

This is really the heart of nanoha as a whole, wanting to understand others, even when opposing each other

Oh wait I lied this is actually the heart of nanoha

Vivio is very much her mothers daughter

just admit it nove, you’re a teacher

i guess “einhart stratos has arrived” is her catchphrase? its a weird mix of arrogant, polite, and weirdly formal that suits her a lot

is that a zip up tank top? but the zipper doesnt actually reach the top of the shirt... im confused but appreciative

okay, nanoha’s transformation sequences are also going to be weird about it, but that aside this is really cool and i appreciate how happy and fighty vivio is throughout it

and of course her version of adult mode is combat focused

EPIC MUSIC

weirdness aside, this is a great sequence

also, of course einhart has brass knuckles

The sound effects to indicate a hit landing are a lot loduer and deeper this time around, which is a neat touch

Remember back in season 1 where everyone just stood around and shot beam attacks?

this is a sick break-dance style ground spin kick thingy

awwwww

Nanoha is a big fan of contrasting a solitary antagonist figure with the protagonist’s circle of support. That’s something that can go sideways very quickly, bc you end up with a lot of unfortunate implications about people who don’t have that kind of love going evil, but the majority of antagonists in nanoha aren’t actually villains. So instead you get a lot of lonely children, often being abused or manipulated, who end up being offered a place to belong with the heroes. And a lot of times those heroes explicitly draw their courage and kindness and moral convictions from the love and connections they have been shown, which adds a lot of depth. And then the next season around the old antagonists are the ones who’ve found that support, and now can offer it to the next generation.

oof

this is the funniest possible way to end a fight of that scale

OOPS I GUESS. 

einhart, watch what level your head is at

she is the most polite of all possible fight children

the actual fighting and punching through walls is fine, but god forbid you should be rude about it 

okay, its really good that this is being said. bc as fun as the whole reincarnation aspect is, einhart needs to recognize vivio as her own person separate from the sankt kaiser. hopefully, this will also help einhart distinguish herself more from the hegemon

In general, Nanoha has done a lot with themes of self-identity when dealing with issues like cloning and transferred memories, and im glad to see that continue

and once again, extremely nanoha/gay

aww

awwwwwww

safhjkjdlkgh 

good point

einhart gets incredibly flustered at the thought of showing emotion

suspenders+tie+rolled up sleeves/pants is a very good look

a good place to end