#isnt socially agreed upon stuff cool

[spiralling-spires]

The tma fandom seems to have unlocked our psychic capabilities. Let me explain.

If you’re on the tma tag, or just have a lot of tma art on your dash, you see art of characters you have only heard the voices of. And you go “Oh, that’s Jon!” “Oh, that’s Melanie!” “Oh, that’s Tim!” And only a handful of these characters have distinctly described traits (like Gerry’s eye tattoos), and fewer still have recurring appearances, or that we hear the voices of. And yet we all agree, roughly, on what they look like. Even if someone has a different design, instead of going “who the hell is that”, you go “well, that’s not what I think Georgie looks like, but I know it’s Georgie without having to check the tags”.

This gets even more interesting when you look at Sasha. Because she gets *replaced*. And so many drawings of not!Sasha label her as Sasha for the bit/for spookiness, but we all somehow *know* when we’re looking at not!Sasha, even when the drawing has no other spookiness.

Ive seen this extend too far sometimes, with a lot of Malevolent art being inadvertently assigned to tma characters, but rarely have I looked at a piece of tma art and gone “who the hell is that??”

Some of this comes down to a collective agreement on designs that happened before I got to the fandom - by the time I got here, pretty much everyone’s designs were largely nailed down. Even so, art where the designs deviate from The Socially Agreed Design are still readily recognizable as the characters. I’m getting to see this with Alice, too - I can look at almost any Alice drawing and go “yep, that’s Alice” and she’s only existed in our collective consciousness for like three months and her design isn’t solidified yet.

[bluinary]

Yknow it's entirely possible to just....say "yikes" and move on

you're not "just like other girls" you're just white 😭

[metalchickaf19]

The Bowers Gang: Ship #24 - Victor Criss

Request: Hey. I was wondering if you could do a bowers gang ship for me. If that's ok. I'm tall and skinny (5.9 and sickly skinny), basically the same build as Patrick Hockstetter. I have boy short brown hair and blue eyes. I normally wear jeans, sweaters and hoodies. I'm kinda awkward and shy (so awkward and shy that I've been contemplating this request for months.) I'm really anxious and nervous. I love horror movies and all that spooky stuff. My favorite holiday is Halloween. I'm really bad at school, except English. I love psychology and all the studies of human behavioral studies. I try to be really nice but I love making richie tozier type insult jokes. Its not easy to make me mad but when I am its really bad (Henry Bowers level rage). I am super loyal and generous. I am super introverted but I'm also really energetic. I also tend to get hyperfiziated on things. Thanks for the cool stuff you do. Sorry if there isnt enough info. I didnt really know how much I should write. Sorry I'm so awkward. And thanks again. Your great❤

Okay, so I just had to say:

I totally made this determination based off of the last part of your request, and I can’t even bring myself to be sorry for it (”Sorry if there isn’t enough info. I didn’t really know how much I should write. Sorry I’m so awkward. And thanks again. You’re great.”)

Hey. Unorthodox levels of nervousness are literally Victor Criss’s main turn-on, so it’s no surprise that I’d pair you two together (also thanks for making me snort-laugh, because that was definitely a fun little bonus)

All the guys like to make fun of the fact that you’re taller than Victor (although it’s never bothered him any)

Patrick in particular likes to joke that you’re basically the fifth man in the group, entirely because your body type makes it so easy (”Fuck, Criss - if you were lookin’ for a top, you coulda’ just asked.” *Infuriating Hockstetter laugh*)

... and Henry usually smirks along like a dick, because he 100% agrees

Don’t worry though, dude - even though none of the rest of the guys have a thing for you physically, they all really like your personality 

Like... a lot.

Belch thinks you’re a sweetheart, Hockstetter lives to set off your awkwardness, and (despite the odd dickish smirk here and there) you and Henry are basically bros

... The Henry thing kind of took forever to get that way (because lack of social skills on both sides), but hey - group acceptance is group acceptance; take your stamp of approval and bask  

Victor takes you to a lot of horror movie showings in town

You used to always go to the Derry Main Street Theatre, but after the guys randomly filled the seats around you twice (plus one time where you caught just Hockstetter sitting directly behind you), you started going to a more secluded one on Derry’s south side 

Victor still scans the auditorium immediately upon entering, and just before the movie starts - he was deeply affected by the Hockstetter incident 

Victor tutors both you and Belch some days outside of school 

The typical routine is, you all meet up at one of your houses (usually Victor’s), procrastinate together for a solid 40-45 minutes before starting, then set to work focusing on one subject for the entire afternoon

Being that you and Belch both struggle with quite a lot (you, with all subjects except for English, Belch, with all subjects expect for gym), you usually just switch-off which topics you spend time on 

Have you managed to awaken hot teacher Victor who loves his friends and has unheard-of amounts of patience?

I think yes.

You and Patrick talk about psychology a surprising amount of the time - and with a surprising amount of intelligence on Patrick’s part 

Seriously. No one knew Hockstetter could talk about something in earnest until he first came in contact with you 

Your conversations usually start with Patrick saying something relatively fucked up and/or asking a fucked up question, and you addressing/answering the comment with a psychology-based response 

Cue losing yourselves in conversation for anywhere from 20-30 minutes (all of which Hockstetter spends absolutely enthralled with every word you have to say)

... Victor doesn’t like that shit.

Really. His face legit falls every time he notices you and Patrick having a side-bar

Mostly because Hockstetter looks at you like a piece of meat and leans in like it’s nobody’s business (the price of talking to him about shit he’s interested in), but still - Criss’s world gets just a little bit darker when he feels his delicate flower is bonding with a future death-row inmate 

You rarely ever get angry around the guys, but when you do, it’s usually directed at Henry

... and, if I’m being honest, it usually only happens because of the way he speaks to the rest of the guys (*cough* asshole tendencies *cough*)

In fact, the first time you ever made one of your “Richie Tozier type insult-jokes” out loud, it was in direct response to Henry referring to Victor as a “pussy fuck”

You were alone with Victor when you said it of course (everyone knows you can’t roast Bowers to his face unless you already have a casket picked out), but you said the “joke” with so much resentment, he may as well have been standing right in front of you 

And let me just say...

... that aggression threw Criss for a loop

The joke itself, coupled with the shock of hearing your normally nice mouth say such mean words (especially in his defense) broke Victor down

The dude is almost never one to laugh too hard, but you had him clutching his stomach and losing it over just one cutting remark

Feel proud of yourself, girl (and never say anything like that in front of Henry - if people embarrass him too hard, he spontaneously combusts or something)

All in all, you have a very “real” relationship with the guys 

“Real” meaning that, even though you have enough differences to argue sometimes, at the end of the day, you all friggin’ love each other despite those differences 

Victor has fallen hard for you, and the rest of the guys love you like one of their own. Welcome to The Bowers Gang, asshole 

[caskit2]

Gorillaz Analysis

Caskit’s not ready to throw all their cards on the table but the time has come!!! 

Okay then, I had to think long and hard about what I wanted to talk about here with Gorillaz cause DAMN!! 

I love gorillaz, 

I love the characters 

damon is a gift that we just dont deserve 

But how did I end up in the fandom pool? 

Well for one, I have heard of gorillaz music back in middleschool but at the time I was busy with Invader Zim and Inuyasha as well as jumping into this band wagon as well  (Full metal Alchemist) 

so by the time I turned to look at Gorillaz was when phase 3 was JUST wrapping up and making way for phase 4. which means I jumped into a fandom that had characters that I knew NOTHING ABOUT. Do you know what that means?

It means I also had no understanding or knowledge of why people shipped “this or that” in the fandom, but I gained some intel on the characters and the growing plot of the story, but other than that, I didnt understand why I was drawn to a particular “ship” in the fandom.  

*actual expression made, im not joking*

Once upon a time, caskit discovered 2doc and was not surprised that this was a ship. I have seen similar stuff that has a common theme that i was drawn to at the time. I was more interested in why fans ship them so I dived in head first into the boiling lava and came to a conclusion.,.....

I dont see them as able (capable?) of ever ending up in the way that most 2doc shippers would pick. The two are chaotic on levels of different tiers of “weird and gross” and I dont really have a reason as to why i was drawn to the ship, but It made me want to analyse what exactly a stable relationship is!

I basically walked around in that area of the fandom and didnt really form any “attachment” to it. I never really experienced a “healthy relationship”, lived in childhood and teen years were I went through life avoiding relationships. So I didnt have a good start, but I knew eventually that I would have to explain myself. 

I feel bad that I wouldnt be able to give a solid answer to what makes me want to sit down and analyse any scenario that has “present abuse undertones” but I know that in the past and how I grew up with what I was exposed to...That I would come to realize how unhealthy it is just for me. 

This post isnt particularly about 2doc itself, but its more about discussing how I handled MY reaction to something that I have seen over and over. In a way, I could see those abusive tones that were present.

Basically Caskit never experienced good healthy relationships and decided that it was a good idea to use gorillaz as a processing strategy....not a good idea in the end cause...OOOHHHHHHH 

It confused me more than before!!! 

I got friends that tag their stuff, and I dont really get so bothered with peoples own opinions, cause I was more worried about how I would come to understand everything. 

When I think about how fans are dividing and putting up a wall to keep “haters outa my yard”  it usually has to deal with shipping stuff, and character hating. And I guess I was confused about everyone’s perception of the characters.

Talking about the characters, I dont have a “least favorite to most” cause I have specific connections to them in different ways. 

I can find similarities to noodle for the expectations she had in a band at age 10 and growing up (plus we are both gays that dont like to publicly talk about relationships) 

I connect with Russel cause I lost a piece of myself  after a paranormal encounter and 3 near death experiences and suffer hallucinations. His protective demeanor to little noodle clicked with me. I see him as the Heart and soul, dedicated and warm friendly guy. ( you mean a decent human being right?)

I relate to 2d in a way that I share his enthusiasm, and mad bravery to live with the same guy who ran him over and caused 2 accidents that are permanent. 

I relate to murdoc in a weird way...  His childhood hits too close to home for me, as a CSA survivor of 2 incidents, pain addict and victim of abuse, draws similarities. But there were things that he has done that match things to my past like the abusive father, and dwelling on the darker aspect of a bittersweet reality. I was expressing physical violence to “show affection” and was never called out for it. I was not just a victim, I was also the abuser and since it was something that murdoc is faced with, is why I hated him. He is (for me) the thing I hate about myself. 

When I saw more and more fans hating on murdoc I wondered if people would ever think I was the same as him. Fans didnt like the way he treated 2d  and the rest of the band, And I agreed. Fans hated him for lying and causing drama and I agreed.  

His ignorance was a comedy slapstick (dressing in a nazi uniform cause he thought it “looked cool” despite russel telling him that its not a good idea) and was seen as the “crazy hooligan that has delusional dreams of fame”  and it bothered me that jamie used this to cover up allot of obvious issues that needed to be addressed. and the way that the fandom treated him made me think about how I would be accused of being like him. 

(thank goodness I didnt cause a car accident and have to sell my soul to satan for a shot at fame with a kickass band and didnt make uncomfortable sexual jokes or ignore others that tried to help me.) 

I can separate what justifies the hate on murdoc when it comes to abuse and causing shit to go down. becuase I did those things in the past, but it didnt take me more than a decade or more to realize that what I did was wrong! I didnt take forever to change for the better. so Im frustrated at him for taking so long to turn around and go “holly fuck im a bastard! I should probably fix that” 

Yeah NyOO ShiTT HunnayYY!! 

I dont hate him for being an idiot, I hate that he symbolizes all things wrong about me that never got closure! 

him admitting to being the cause of 2d’s social anxiety and eye damage as well as the abuse is easier said than done! but the fact that he is letting everything out of the “in-denial basket” is nice for me to see, cause right now Healing and progression in closure to issues of trauma is what is important to me. 

The endgame for my perspective on 2d and murdocs relationship is this: 

I dont want to ship them

I dont even see it as a thing regardless of character development and both guys working through their own shit themselves. 

I am not the best person to explain what a toxic or abusive relationship can be. 

Why? becuase I lived through it and I was both the victim and abuser to myself  and grew up without a good relationship (and I have a fear of positive affection) so I dont enjoy going through the same pattern as before where i shipped abuse in the past as a “dumb 13 year old weeboo” 

I dont view their relationship as romantic, or platonic, or healthy. 

I just want the boys to enjoy their own character growth individually. 

I would like to eventually see a friendship with them But I’ll be more excited if instead the whole band eventually gain a healthy relationship with everyone.  

Year 2018 marks the year I jumped in head first into gorillaz as a blind fruit bat 

(I call it the year caskit played with fire) for cosplaying ‘murdoc fuckn wrinkles’ at a convention around the time the fandom was yelling at him and jamming to 2d’s album. 

Caskit jumped into the shipping lava all for Behavioral analyzing and hopped over fences to see other fans perspectives of characters they liked and hated just to make sure Caskit could understand the illuminati that is Gorillaz. 

I made friends all over the fandom, and thanks to a few people, I gained more confidence to push my art skills and create some kickass art of Gorillaz. 

And yeah I yap yap about murdoc ( looks over @russelhusselhobbs im sorry you put up with my bullshit) but remember peeps. 

I like hearing about the others and have gotten more into 2d’s character as well as Jumping over the fence to go hang out with russel fans and listen to fangirling from friends and just trying to be a freakn fairy godmother and deliver some good representing art. 

And for those who aren’t aware, my past artwork is probably gonna float around so if its signed as Caskit or Caskit19 then its mine and if you see my old 2doc stuff.....,

for the trigger. 

But YEAHHHHHH!!! I wanted to throw all this on the table. and I dont know how to feel about that...(I swear my friend jokes with “need some feel good inc for Caskit” ) Kinda contemplating my choice between sticking my head into a hornets nest or jumping into a dark water trench.... the hornets nest sounds less likely to give me a seizure induced panic attack so ill go for that. ( I have a tolerance for inflicted pain so no you cant hurt me by using violence cause I dont have any consideration for myself and my safety)  

But yeah now I can get back to drawing fun stuff. (hopefuly caskit wont have to bore you guys with stupid shit ever again! xD) 

[tumblunni]

Ok this is gonna sound weird but can you help me figure out how to self care

I've been practising trying to get over my social anxiety using Pokemon Go, cos like its an easy sociallu un-embarassing distraction when im nervous in crowds. I mean i used to just pretend to look at my phone before, and before that i owned a watch entirely to pretend to look at it, lol! Plus pokemon go has a map built in so it helps me navigate new places with minimal panic about getting lost. Anxiety + bad geographical sense = even more anxiety!

So anyway I've been trying to force myself to go on walks through The Anxiety Land more often, and gameifying it even more seems to help? Giving myself 'points' for doing various stuff to fight this anxiety. One for every day I make the same walk around this lil neighbourhood circuit, and a bonus point for each km i walk beyond the bare minimum. Pokego is useful for this too cos my shiny magikarp gets a candy precisely every kilometre! And then i think maybe a bonus ten points if i keep up a streak of going on a walk every single day for a week, month, etc? I dunno!

I also dunno really what sort of incentive to give myself for getting all these points. What am i even gonna get if i reach a milestone? I dont really know how to 'treat yo self',theres not much that i can do to make a day special or anything. And most universally agreed upon 'special days' are stuff thatd be more of another challenge to me- vacationing in a new place or going to cinema or bowling or getting hair styled. Why is scary socialness everywhere!!! And then just buying myself something isnt really gonna work cos i mean.. Nothing stopping me from buying whatever i want whenever i can afford it. Thats just what adulthood is. So i'd have to stop giving myself treats in order to give myseld treats, and thats not exactly an incentive! Plus i already have a problem with denying myseld those kinds of day to day treats, and defining stuff as "treats" when it really shouldnt be, cos thats what being poor does to you even when you get more money to live on. I mean i barely ever buy new clothes! I still only have one pair of shoes and theyre starting to leak at the bottom. And i went without a bed for the first few years i lived here cos 'i can make do on the floor and save some money'. And i ended up getting such a crick in my neck that it hurt sooooo much more after i started sleeping on tje new and good bed and correcting my posture. And man now i can actually stand up straight again!! I was guzma'd!! Actually man that would make sense that team skull isnt just slouchy cos theyre trying to be cool, but also cos theyre all homeless kids with a history of floor sleepin. No wonder theres that one grunt you find flopped over three beds at once in the ultimate snooze! Oh man imagine guzma takin the new recruits mattress shopping and everyone is like YO THIS IS DOPE LOOK AT THE MEMORY FOAM

Anyway i went offtopic lol

So can you guys help me figure out what kind of 'gift' i can give myself if i meet my anti anxiety exercise goals?

Ehhhh i dunno maybe i'll just commission someone to draw one of my dumb ocs. But i'm always too nervous to commission anyone so yeah thatd just be anotjer anxiety boss battle.. *sigh*

Anywya probably i should give myself bonus points whenever i encounter Extra Anxiouses during my walk. Probably. I dunno. Should i give myseld points for that time i helped the homeless.lady and didnt embarass myself? Or should i just start counting from today cos thats when i got the idea? Ehhhh

[shirtshoping]

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[skiasurveys]

Creepy questions.

1. Describe a situation when you felt that you had completely severed ties with reality.  I had times where Im with people and Im like “are we even real guys? Like how do we really know? like we could just not be real.” it was weird and felt awkward. 2. Have you ever see n a UFO?   no

3. Have you ever had sleep paralysis? If so, describe your experience. So ive had a couple. One time I woke up and I usually go to grab my phone but I just couldn’t get to it and it was weird i couldnt move or open my eyes. The 2nd time was not too long ago, I thought i heard my two cats crying and fighting eachother so i went to check on them but I couldnt get up and I was crying my sisters name because I couldnt get up and I was scared and so i eventually woke up and checked on them but they were okay, but when i was calling my sisters name it sounded muffeled. it was weird.

4. Have you ever seen what you believed to be a ghost or spirit? Nah not really.

5. What is the most depraved thing you have ever thought about another person?  probably murder, thats it. 

6. Do you have a habit that people would be shocked by? If so, what is it?  I have a habit of thinking odd things..

7. Morals aside completely, you absolutely have to kill someone. An enemy. How do you do it?  Stabbing them or drowning them, MAN this sounds so creepy. dont call the cops.

8. What is the creepiest thing that you have ever seen in real life? a teddy bear with adult human teeth.

9. Have you ever seen something online that made you completely sick to your stomach? Describe it.  Red rooms. I dont go on there but it was on youtube a youtuber was on the deep web and went across this video that was this guy molesting and raping a 2 year old girl ( No they didnt show footage), but fuck it was so awful to hear about it and it made me so grossed out and sick. and just the other shit red rooms do. Red rooms are where you pay people to torture people and you tell them what to do and oh yeah they film it. live. No ive never see it because i dont wanna see a therapist lol but ive heard of it.

10. Has someone ever lied to you to the point where you never actually knew them? Eh, niot really.

11. What is your worst nightmare? I actually dont get night mares that often, so i cant think of one.

12. What is the worst nightmare that you have ever had? ^ is that the same question lol.

13. If you were attacked on the street, do you truly believe that you could defend yourself?  Honestly, no. But i carry stuff with me incase but, i dont truly know..cause survival instincts.

14. You manage to survive a plane crash. Now what? Find the others.

15. Have you ever had a medical condition that you were afraid to tell people or your doctor about because it was too gross or taboo to bring up in conversation? Nah.

16. What is your opinion on people who are really into serial killers? OK,its cool if youre interested because I am. I like to hear what they have to say and what they think, but if youre actually INTO them as in attracted..youre fucking gross, kys. 

17. Do you think it’s justified to kill someone who has killed others? (i.e. the death penalty, revenge killing, etc.)  Yeah but do it slowly.

18. You’re being chased through the woods by some unknown but horrifying creature. You’re there, an acquaintance from work that you’re alright with is there, and the greatest person in your life is there (s-o, family member, etc.). The person you like more is lagging behind. Do you push the acquaintance down in order to save your loved one’s life? No, I would wait for my loved one but Im pretty sure he is faster than me, but maybe I would. This is kind of creepy..

19. If all of the world’s social, economical, and environmental issues would be solved, but in order to do so, a small village of children had to be slaughtered brutally, would you agree to their deaths?  No, thats just not right.

20. Were you ever told that you were being problematic? Why?   No i wasnt.

21. Did you ever have to stop yourself from saying something so horrible that even you were surprised that you had thought it up?  Yes but there is psychology behind this. Not all of your thoughts are your own. By that i mean sometimes you hear things and whatever and then you think about shit they have said.

22. Have you ever said something so horrible to someone that they have completely kicked you out of their life?  No.

23. Were you ever told that you were being creepy? What were you doing? Yeah i would stalk my crushes in middle school.. LMAO.

24. What disease would you wish on your enemies? aids.

25. Would you explore a large abandoned building at night with only flashlights to guide you? depends...am i getting paid

26. Have you ever explored an abandoned building/house/property? Did you find anything cool? Nah, i want to though.

27. Have you ever explored an abandoned building or property by yourself?  ^ isnt this the same question.

28. If you could be, which classic slasher villain would you be? Jason? i dont really watch those movies. lol

29. Are you more of a Mulder or a Scully? (not creepy but it’s a good question)  MULDER. aliens exist

30. Do you believe in spontaneous human combustion?   id imagine it can happen

31. What would be the absolute worst way to die? burning alive.

32. Do you believe in unexplainable phenomena?  Hmmm..Maybe. it depends. Im not scientist 

33. Do you ever walk through graveyards at your leisure?  My dad is buried there.

34. What is your favorite scent on a person? woodsss.

35. Would you eat an endangered species? no

36. If offered to you, would you willingly eat human flesh?  no

37. What would you do if you unknowingly consumed human flesh? puke.

38. You’re in an antique store and happen upon a human skull. After asking the shop owner, you find out that it is real. What do you do?i leave 

39. Do you think it is okay for people to own the skulls of dolphins and other cetaceans?  yeah, whatever. as long as its legal.

40. Have you ever collected animal bones or skulls by finding them in nature and cleaning them? Nppe.

41. What is your opinion on taxidermy? I think its okay. i couldnt do it. 42. Do you believe in aliens?  yes!

43. Tomorrow on the news it is confirmed that alien life exists and that it is intelligent. What is your reaction? i call everyone i ever knew and said told you bitch. 44.  Tomorrow on the news it is confirmed that alien life exists and that it is unintelligent. What is your reaction?  “oh shit..’

45. Do you believe in cloning humans?  no because the only reason we would clone is for health reasons  (organs, bone marorw) so the clone would be used up.

46. If it were possible to preserve your brain after death only to bring you back in the future, would you go through with it?  No.

47. If the option became available to upload your brain into a computer system and live inside a computer simulated world where all things were possible, would you chose to do this? if i could test it out...

48. In your opinion, what is the most terrifying sea creature? fucking crabs. 49. In your opinion, what is the most terrifying land animal?  hyenas. 50. Do you believe that your government keeps terrifying secrets from the general public? If so, what do you think they keep from us?  yes