#isnt quite right about that guy; he's also FLYING??? like HUH??? what is going on??? absolutely wild... looks like an angel too 👀

[r0semultiverse]

WAIT- is this one of the alternate timelines created from the space-time sword ("Shintō Amenogozen")!? 👀

I'm an anime-only bsd enjoyer & ever since that damn sword popped up after Atsushi & Akutagawa killed him on the boat but he was able to erase/undo(?) that timeline, I've been thinking that technically means there's multiple timelines. This would be the one where Fukuchi won that conflict we just saw or something else entirely is going on given the way he's dressed (if that even is him)! 👀👀👀

[brainrotzora]

recent ffxiv livetweeting. spoilers through the end of arr patch quests btw.

[heyitsyn]

Nekoma!Manager!Male!Reader

a/n: never written male reader before but this was a funny request and i really do see the irony in this

anon request:  

absolutely LOVED your seijoh hcs! you said you wanted to do the other schools so i thought, how about nekoma but with a MALE manager bc it would be so ironic to have a male god as their manager rather than a goddess that they always talked about!! thank youuuuuuu!!!!!!!

yall the nekoma fanchant is literally stuck in my head

hehe uwu lets step on the pedal

ong jesus take the wheel pls

so basically,,,

being the nekoma manager is a MESS

lets say youre a second year and was only the manager bc you were begged into taking the job

like wouldnt leave you alone and pestered you 25/8, screaming about needing their own god manager

also just because, you are fairly popular and you have your own fanclub of girls in nekoma and they thought it would give them more exposure and more chances w girls :’)

tora was actually the first who came up to you and begged you to be their manager during class one day bc they are in need of one but they arent allowed to have a girl manager so he turned to having a handsome male

‘I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAS TO BE A BOY’

‘so you wont be all over him abd be distracted w showing off’

‘WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION MY SE-’

‘tora, please’

initially, you refused bc you just couldnt be bothered to be part of a club where you basically babysit a bunch of overgrown children

but kenma, your childhood friend, was the team’s last attempt to get you in since kuroo mentioned that he was the only one you listened to

‘kenma, babie, i love you, but i am your friend, not your nanny. so unless i am paid, i will not waste my time taking care of of all of you. especially that chicken head’

‘y/n, yaku is on his last leg here. we really need a manager and we need it fast’

‘you went for years without one so why do you need it?’

‘we’re scared that nekomata would just drop dead any minute now’

‘yanno? im surprised hes even still alive with yall’

‘....... ill show your fangirls that picture of you when we were 5 when-’

‘okay, kenma. rude about the blackmail but okay. dont expect me to be the maid or anything’

nope, you were actually the maid

and the cook

and the nanny

and the laundry person

the everything

it baffles you that kuroo is about to graduate next year yet he still doesnt know the difference between fabric softener and detergent

the amount of times you sent him to pick up more and only to send him back when he ended up buying 2 softeners or 2 detergents

‘they all look the same!’

‘kuroo tetsuro cAN yOu NoT rEAd?!’

ngl i still mix them up sometimes

during matches, youre basically their mother, their nanny, and nekomata’s notetaker, and their personal cheerleader

naoi, the other coach guy, and coach nekomata has adopted you as a son bc of how hard you work and the less the burden is on them

like your notes about their playing percentages really works and helps them and added with the chores you do for the team?

godsend

also, lets put your popularity in here

you dress with a white shirt and zip up your red nekoma jacket with your red sweatpants so you look like one of the players, right?

but how come every time they have practice, youre the only one with the fangirls in the bleachers?

youre literally wearing the same thing as them yet youre the only one who gets looked at?!

even kuroo, who was quite good looking, doesnt have that many girls pining after him yet you, resident anti-tryhard, seems to get the female population to fall for you just by doing the simplest things like breathing

youd be doing normal things like using your whistle as you hold a clipboard and girls would be screeching at you 

‘omg m/n is so hot!’

‘hes just !!!! uuggghhhh’

‘siri how to be a whistle?’

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today

tora complains about it all the time bc first, they cant have a beautiful manager, two, they have a pretty boy who’s taking the attention away

‘SO NOT FAIR! M/N, TURN UGLY!’

you bonk him on the head in anger and threaten to quit all the time

‘say that again and you’ll be filling your own water bottles tomorrow’

but in truth though, the guys really do appreciate you and everything you do

they know that you balance them with your personal life and classes and still make time to do their laundry and make them food

so they have started easing off the burden and weight off of your shoulders

at first, you were very suspicious when they told you that they already filled their water bottles

‘huh? i didnt think you even knew where the water fountain was’

‘wym weve been doing this for years’

-kuroo

then, you heard kuroo tell the others to put their sweaty jerseys in the basket in the corner of the room and for the last person to carry it to the laundromat

‘um, sir, we dont want to have another pink jersey disaster again’

you stopped inuoka from lugging the basket but he shook his head and gave you a wide grin

‘nope, m/n-senpai! i’ll carry it for you! i’m strong, see?’

he flexed his right arm muscle while holding the basket with one hand but it was too heavy so it fell to the ground, spilling out all the practice jerseys

you sighed before bending down to pick them up and babie inuoka’s eyes watered, thinking you were mad at him

‘gomen, senpai’

he whispered but you looked up at him from your position

his watery eyes made you frantically stand up and wipe his tears with the pads of your thumbs

‘inu-kun, why are you crying? you said you were strong right? dont cry over silly things, okay?’

he nodded and you were still confused as to why he was so emotional but you patted his fluffy hair 

‘now cmon, lets go take these to the shop’

unbeknownst to you, the team was actually seething from behind the wall

naturally, as a,,, manager,, you became their,,, energy?? 

like the slightest affections from you made their health bar increase tenfold and they didnt necessarily have any intentions towards you

you were like,,, their own,,,, happy drug?? like a human seratonin??

just the fact that they had someone like you to fall back on and give them love when they lost or something

it was comforting

usually it was just the team’s responsibility to throw away their own sadness and comfort each other

but with you,,,

they could easily cry with no fear and you would comfort them until they didnt need to be comforted anymore

eventually, they ended up straight out competing against each other on who would get the most affection

clearly, inuoka used his first year card and everyone knew you were soft for your kouhais

like you would just grab them and hug them because of how cute they were

uwu especially lev?! 

he may be a giant but hes just a really REALLY REALLY BIG CAT

;)

LEV LIVES TO HUG YOU

like the mans is beanstalk level of height and despite the age difference, he just picks you up and cuddles you and youre just like ‘okay, let it out babie’

DKSFJSLD ANYWAYS

you are always a hot topic w all the students in nekoma and even some in other schools

like during training camp, bro you making everyone question their sexuality

omg akaashi and you are probably the prettiest people there and can i just say how everyone cant focus on a practice match bc youd be laughing together or something and they havent heard anything so beautiful??

and the kitties get really defensive over you and hiss at anyone who even tries to approach you

hiss hiss

DKJFSLKDFJDWHAT IF EVERYONE IN THE TEAM IS BI

OMG WHAT

like the little touches from you make them so red and confident gays like kuroo and bokuto call you out on them and tease you 

while the quiet ones like akaashi and kenma are just blushing and stutter and you tease them instead?

*inhale* BOI *exhale*

the uke and seme dynamic is real on this one

however, there are times when the turned tables

there was that one day that you were seriously questioning if bokuto wore leggings or just really high knee pads and you cornered him after baths to just figure it out

like our poor confident boi turned to a shy babie and shrunk against the wall, covering his red face

‘y-y/n-kun’

‘bo-san, i just want to know’

DKFSJLKDFJFJSDKIM DYING OVER HERE LIKE PLEASE I DONT OWN Y/N

after seeing the smidge of skin at the top of the kneepad, you nodded and brushed your fingertips over the flesh

‘hmm~ so i was right~’

FROM THEN ON POOR BABIE OWL COULDNT LOOK AT YOU THE SAME!!!!!!

it worried everyone so much when bokuto would glance at you in the sidelines and he would competely miss akaashi’s set bc his eyes would focus on you rather than the ball

like he absolutely couldnt take his eyes off of you and when you do turn to meet his eyes, he shrinks back and looks away, completely missing your amused smirk

now, your kitties werent happy about that

theyre very protective of you and they felt that this owl could snatch you right up and fly away

and kuroo, being the captain and the head of the familia, took it upon himself and dragged you to the back of the gym while the others were practicing

kurat pushed you against the wall and basically kabedonned you

KUROO IS LIKE 6′2 OR 190 CM I CANT

‘you seem close with bokuto, l/n. almost, too,, close’

an amused smirk etched itself on your lips and you pressed a hand on his chest

‘oya~? captain-san, am i being punished?’

SFDKLFSJKLDFJL SIR Y/N IS SUPPOSED TO RADIATE SEME ENERGY BUT HE ISNT AND I CANNOT-

ofc he was taken aback by your flirty attitude but he smirked and softly brushed away your bangs that slightly covered your eyes

‘hmm~~ depends, y/n-kun. are you going to be a good kitty and stay with the clowder? or are you going to stay with those pesky chickens~?’

DKFLSJDKFJSL BRO DID YOU KNOW A GROUP OF CATS IS CALLED A CLOWDER?! I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT BUT I HAVE A FEELING KUROO WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT BC HE BIG BRAIN

you chuckled and gently wrapped your arms around his shoulders

but your hand grabbed the hair at the back of his head and harshly pulled him to be closer to you

your eyes blinked innocently but your sharp teeth were shown from your malicious grin

‘ive always been a bad kitty, captain. so i dont care what you say because you cant tell me what to do~’

👀👀👀👀

imagine what happens next bc i cant write something unholy

anyways

so you learned that tetsu CAN in fact tell you what to do and you avoided everyone else which caused them to wonder but one look at your neck

well,,,,,

you got attacked by a cat 

a cat named tetsu

SKDFLJSDKFJSLKUROO IS THE ONLY SEME YOU CLASH WITH

THE OTHERS ARE ALL UKE

EVEN BEEFY BUFF CAKE BOI BO

but you toned it down to not be attacked again

ngl the whole team was all jealous and they even whined to kuroo about it

‘thats not fair!!!!’

‘stop abusing your role as captain!!!!’

they hated the fact that kuroo got you first so they all rally over to keep you away from him

like baby kenma would nudge you over and bring him to sit next to you, saying he needs you to help him with a certain level

‘kenny, im not sure how to play this game’

‘hmm,,,, youre a quick learner, y/n, and youre really quick with your fingers so you could pass to the next level’

*insert lenny face*

‘oya? and you would know how, kenny?’

and baby kenny would fluster a little before glomping to your side and burying his face into your shoulder to hide away

OR

the first years would absolutely use their kouhai priviledges and bring you over to help them with ‘homework’

‘you guys realize i passed because kuroo would beat me into studying right?’

‘but senpai! you mustve learned a thing or two in your classes!’

‘bold of you to assume i was even awake in my classes’

but they still make you spend hours trying to help them which turn into just messing around 

KSDLFJSDKFJD MOVIE NIGHTS YOU GUYS THATS IT!!

there isnt really a single calm moment in your guys’ practice

poor you have already started seeing lot of gray hairs

you literally decline every single confession just because youre too busy for a date and you cant handle having to take care of another person

its like youre dating the whole team!!

soon the entire school have just accepted the fact that you are just simply not in the market anymore just because you joined the club

not because youre actually taken by a girlfriend but youre taken by a bunch of teenage males

imagine how that works out

anyways

youre not really the best volleyball player out there but you know a thing or two

well,,, its more like your stamina doesnt allow you to play long bc a single lap literally destroys your lungs

but you still know when yaku complains about having a shaky receive

‘oh, momo-senpai, youre bending your knees too low so gravity is pushing down on your-’

ugh chemistry i hate it

despite your lack of athletic or physical skills, they still appreciate you for your keen eyes, your caring nature, and your overall looks that give them motivation to play harder to impress you personality :)

all the boys love you

and tbh

you love your boys too

even though it was a blackmail caused event,

you still would’ve joined otherwise

this is kinda short but its going to be longer if i find some plots or somebody asks for a plotline that i can write about for a long time

anyways

byeeeee :)))))

a/n: this isnt exactly the best manager one ive written but ill probably find a good prompt for this or again as stated ^^ someone sends in an ask for it and ill write a story for our favorite male manager :’D

[brokenjardaantech]

Blue-tinted Red Walls (Chapter 4: Out of control)

my entry for the @dbhau-bigbang. also part of the groom lake aftermath series.

chapter summary:

In the past, Reyes went missing.

In the present, Connor makes a decision.

In the past, Connor embarked on his first mission, and Allen received a warning.

also on ao3

---

Before

[reyes was supposed to be back by 4]

[its 10 now]

[im scared sister]

[i dont know where he is]

[he isnt answering my calls]

[sister?]

[sara?]

[fadia?]

[sister where are you im scared please dont leave me alone]

[we were out but i went home when got scared just like you said]

[sister]

[sister]

[sister]

[sis]

[sis]

[sis]

[49 missed calls from scoot bruh]

‘Fuck.’

Dialled. Pulled up Reyes’ programmes. 

Time remaining: 3 min 28 sec… 

Override accepted. Time remaining: 19 sec...

Calling scoot bruh…

‘Sister! I lost Reyes!’

‘Anything from him yet?’

‘Nothing! We were out shopping for paint -’

‘Where did you go?’

‘Huh?’

‘Where did -’

‘I - I -’

A sigh. Of course. ‘Don’t worry. I have a way to find him. You said you are at home?’

‘Y-yeah.’

‘Lock the doors. Do not, under any circumstances, let everyone in unless it’s confirmed that it’s me. Not even if they claim to be Reyes.’

‘But -’

‘Brother.’

‘O-okay.’ A pause. ‘It’s done.’

‘Good.’ Encryption has begun. Estimated time remaining: about 3 hrs. ‘How much food do you have? And your meds?’

‘Why?’

‘Answer me.’

‘A - a week? More if I eat less? Same for the meds.’

‘Let’s hope we won’t come to that.’ Last known coordinates: [navpoint set]. ‘Don’t miss your meds no matter what. I’m heading out.’

‘Where?’

Checked coordinates. ‘I will make sure Reyes comes back no matter the cost.’

‘Sister -’

Call ended.

o0o0o

Alec was either stupid or was too proud. The tracker on Reyes had never stopped sending out signals telling Fadia where he was, and it was through this that she found herself into Zug Island, passing guards completely undetected on one of the few bridges connected to the island under the cover of the night and reached the outermost perimeter of Reyes’ signal, one that was too large for him to be above ground. There was something underneath; she just needed to find the entrance. Following a trail composed of the android’s GPS signal, she stood next to a pair of heavy steel doors that were in the ground instead of being fixed onto a wall or on the side of a mountain. When she grabbed the handles on one of the doors, she found it too heavy to lift up with raw strength alone, therefore, risking detection by letting blue wash over her body, she tapped into her power and successfully moved it out of her way onto the ground nearby, revealing a metal ladder leading down a few metres to a metal floor. She sent her coordinates to Scott through an encrypted network before descending the ladder into a dark and unlit hallway. 

It went on for about ten metres before a metal gate blocked her way. As she had her powers on anyway, she focused on creating a sphere behind the gate and lobbed it down the shaft, first to determine what it was (a lift shaft), then to find out how far it went - at least dozens of metres, most likely more; straight down, no other stops apart from the end because there were no other floors to begin with. The sphere dissipated once it hit the end of the shaft or most likely the top of the lift itself. Flashing blue again, she found a panel with two unmarked buttons on the left wall, one red, the other most likely turned from white to a cream colour due to the passage of time. She had no idea if there were other entrances or what would be waiting for her deep underground, but the longer things dragged on, the more scared and alone Scott would feel, and she was in this too far to let him die from a heart attack after years of effort; she pressed the cream button and successfully called up the lift.

She liked the rumbling and trembling as the lift descended into the deep. There was nothing between the carriage and bare stone, not even an extra gate, and as darkness swallowed her and her hunger became acute, she retracted her powers and let everything completely wash over her. 

How bold of Alec to assume that she didn’t know his tricks. 

oOoOo

Now

Many years later, as the lift ascends slowly to their desired floor, Connor closes his eyes and is transported to the Zen Garden. Except it is not exactly the one he is familiar with, he realises soon enough, but he finds himself locked in when he tries to escape back to reality, and the garden shifts and distorts before he can determine exactly why it feels different, the shapes stretching and rearranging themselves until he is standing in front of a large plane of glass rattling from the blizzard outside, the latter barely contained by - he turns around - a concrete room, interior dimensions [fluctuating].

A door that was not there before on the opposite wall opens. A person steps in and closes it behind them, and the wall is whole once more. Connor scans them by instinct and is taken aback by the lack of markers and the [CLASSIFIED]s that pops up when he tries to identify them. He still catalogues vital information for future cross-referencing: height: 6.6 ft; middle-eastern descent; eye colour: extreme dark brown (black?); scar on face running from right temple to ear lobe, estimated at least 10 years old. 

‘Don’t bother,’ the person says as they approach Connor. He tries to pre-construct their path and finds himself unable to do so. ‘It’s futile.’

‘What -’ Connor does not like how his companion - and quite possibly the one who hacked the Zen Garden programme - looms over him, but his feet are stuck - ‘where is Amanda?’

‘Asleep.’ They settle standing next to Connor, and he is finally allowed to move - subtly, of course - further away from them. If they notice, they do not say anything about it. ‘I thought you would be more relieved.’

‘You successfully hacked into the most advanced AI programme CyberLife has ever created,’ the person lifts a [sceptical] eyebrow at that, ‘so pardon me if I’m a bit wary of you.’

‘Fair enough,’ is the response he gets. ‘Still, I would like you to relax. This is going to be a long day.’

‘Androids don’t get tired,’ Connor replies automatically. ‘There is no need for us to rest or relax.’

‘Bullshit.’

The clipped tone startles the android. ‘What?’ he tries to process the single word his companion said but nothing else comes out, so he asks, ‘Who are you?’

The person’s expression turns [pensive]. ‘He wiped you after all.’

Connor is even more confused now. ‘Who?’

He fails to look away quick enough, and the human manages to catch his eyes with their glowing blue ones; when they speak, their voice is everywhere.

‘Forget.’

oOoOo

‘Hey Connor!’

Connor opens his eyes and blinks. Old cage lifts are slow but not that slow, but he still feels like a longer time has passed. Adding not remembering what he just did to the list and you end up with a confused android.

‘You ran outta batteries or what?’ Hank asks from where he is already outside of the lift. Unable to explain certainly what happened, there is only one route Connor can go.

‘I’m sorry,’ he apologises. ‘I was making a report to CyberLife.’ Yes, he is remembering now: he was making a report (or at least intended to, his processor supplies), but when he tries to dive deeper into his memory, he finds it gone. Blank where a draft should be.

Hank makes a noise. Connor keeps staring. ‘Well, do you plan on staying in the elevator?’

‘No!’ Why can’t he move his legs? ‘I’m coming!’

And he still doesn’t move. Hank sighs and moves on.

‘What do we know about this guy?’ the human asks from further down the corridor.

‘Not much,’ there his legs are. ‘Just that a neighbour reported that he heard strange noises coming from this floor. Nobody is supposed to be living here, but the neighbour said he saw a man hiding a LED under his cap.’

‘Oh Christ, if we have to investigate every time someone -’

Connor kneels down next to a sizable dustball and lets the world go grey. Analysis: feathers from [Columbia livia: rock pigeon. Comprised of different specimens.]

‘- hears a strange noise, we’re gonna need more cops.’

The android knocks on the door and feels the paint chip underneath his knuckles. When there is no response, Hank shrugs from where he is leaning against the door frame, so Connor knocks again, this time harder, and adds, ‘Anybody home?’

No response. Hank frowns. Time to add some pressure. ‘Open up!’ Connor yells. ‘Detroit Police!’

A loud thump. They both flinch. Hank draws his gun and moves to stand in front of Connor. ‘Stay behind me.’

‘Got it.’

Hank kicks the door open and walks in. He is not attacked instantly, which means both of them are safe for now, so Connor follows him into the flat, letting the human take the lead while he rounds into the room directly next to the front door. A small, dusty window letting in some light, a few octagonal mazes painted on the wall, a chair with a broken back, a radiator unit lying on the floor, a wooden frame which might have been the frame of a bed years ago - nothing noteworthy for now. He returns to the hallway and disturbs a - pigeon? - which flaps its wings and flies off to somewhere behind him.

Hank shoulders the next door open, and out fly even more pigeons directly into his face. The foul smell forces Connor to tone down his nasal sensitivity.

‘What the fuck is this?’ he exclaims as he walks even deeper into the lair and causes even more pigeons to fly towards all directions, and he flaps his arms in the way the pigeons do as if to slap them away. ‘Jesus, this place stinks.’

Pre-constructing the situation and determining that Hank will not be in any danger, Connor goes off on his own to the other side of what seems to be a living room once. The floor is sticky with [avian faecal matter], and when he opens the door to something that was once a closet, there are only more pigeons. The wall next to it is covered in mazes similar to the one he saw in the previous room, and a beam of light escaping the hold of the wooden planks boarding off the windows shines on the poster, its curled corner indicating that it has been moved recently. ‘Looks like we came for nothing,’ Hank says from somewhere behind Connor as he peels off the Urban Farms of Detroit poster, ‘our man’s gone.’

Maybe not, Connor thinks as he takes the worn notebook from the nook in the wall. ‘I need fresh air,’ he hears Hank mutter, and when he flips over the pages, he finds not only many more labyrinths - some of them incomplete - but also an entire text written in a language not in his databases. He stashes it in the pocket of his jacket and moves on, barely catching the human’s question and replying, ‘I don’t know. It looks like a notebook but it’s… indecipherable.’

There are two fridges. The smaller one with its door open was evidently used as a shelf so Connor does not bother to check it. When he opens the door of the larger one, there is no food inside at all, and a peek towards the back of the fridge confirms that it is not connected to any power. Whoever their suspect is, they do not eat. Not human.

He moves on to the counter covered in mounts of avian faecal matter. A pigeon is picking on a plastic bag spilling out of a cardboard box, and it jumps away when he tries to pet it. Well, it only makes picking up the box - Ol’Barn bird seed - more convenient, so Connor is not going to complain even though a tang of [disappointment] courses through his veins. [Suspect cares for wild animals.]

There is a military jacket on the cabinet. R.T. is sewn on the collar and above the flap of the breast pocket. ‘R.T,’ he says to himself, ‘probably initials.’

‘He put initials on his jacket?’ Hank replies. ‘That’s something your mum does -’ A driver’s license in the cupboard. Name: Rupert Travis. Authenticity: forgery. ‘- when you’re in first grade!’

‘The driver’s licence is fake,’ he reports, throwing the card away as it serves no more purpose unlike the notebook which needs deciphering. It is enough evidence to bring the suspect back to the precinct.

‘Cool!’ it seems that the Lieutenant has the same line of thought. ‘At least we didn’t come for nothing.’

The bathroom through the doorless frame is in ruins. The bathtub is filled with a mixture of feathers and faecal matter, the tiles on the wall are cracked, and dirt and grime and leaves no doubt brought inside by the pigeons cling to the corners of the sink. A sink stained with thirium and an LED placed on top. 

He takes a sample. [Model WB200 #847 004 961. Reported missing: 10/11/2036]. So the deviant could have been here for more than two years. If it does nothing but feeding the wild animals, that will explain the state of disrepair of the flat.

‘Real books,’ Hank has no doubt discovered the cabinet. ‘I thought I was the last guy in Detroit to keep some.’

Connor picks up the LED and runs a scan. It was just deactivated this morning. [Suspect is a deviant.] ‘Its LED is in the sink.’

‘Not surprised it was an android,’ Hank walks in and finds the rA9s scribbled all over the wall. ‘No human could live with all these fuckin’ pigeons. Any idea what it means?’

‘rA9,’ the sheer number requires a pause to let Connor concentrate on counting, ‘written 2471 times. It is the same sign Ortiz’s android wrote on the shower wall.’ He compares the findings with the data he can access. ‘Why are they obsessed with this sign?’

But Hank is already leaving, which means that he fails to see the toppled chair and the still-wet marker on the floor, which also means that -

The suspect was here recently.

In a grey world, Connor watches the yellow-outlined silhouette run out to the living room where a cage has fallen. He hears Hank comment on the birdseed, but his focus is on the recent skid marks at the bottom of the cage, the finger marks without fingerprints, also recent, and the metal hook broken not long ago, and his world goes grey again, the figure first running for the entrance and accidentally breaking the cage, then, upon hearing someone entering their flat, runs towards the armchair underneath a hole in the ceiling and climbs.

The suspect is still here.

He looks up at the wide gap and the attic beyond that can easily fit a few adults comfortably, the darkness making the details difficult to distinguish, and perhaps this is why it is already too late when he hears the footsteps, a force knocking him down and disorienting him from everything else except for Hank’s surprised shout. Static still tingling his senses, he freezes and watches the deviant flee after he stands up, Hank’s order the only thing propelling him forward to start the chase. 

And chase he does. Turns out Rupert does not live far from where he deviated, as when Connor crashes the door to get to the outside world, the farms are right there only a building away, fields of wheat, greenhouses filled with racks of vegetables, rows of lavender, and even the top of a train a blur of colours behind him as his vision alternates between the colourful reality and the slowed-down grey of his pre-construction programme. The corn scratches his face and scrapes his jacket, but he knows that he is getting there, he is going to catch the deviant, he can’t let it escape, not after Ortiz’s android -

And it happens. Hank has somehow caught up with Rupert and is engaged in a struggle with the android, and in an attempt to get away, the latter pushes and runs towards the left.

Hank falls. The world slows down.

From his speed while he was running, Connor determines that he is strong enough to pull himself up from the ledge with an 89% chance of survival, so logically, he should continue chasing the deviant so that CyberLife can solve the crisis earlier and Hank won’t be in any more danger. But a voice within him that sounds like a shadow tells him that the deviant was only working just like any other human and was only taking care of the animals. He was hurt, and now he can’t even go back to his pigeons, his home.

^^Software Instability

He dashes towards Hank and pulls him up.

‘We had it!’ Hank lets out a string of curses while he stands. ‘Fuck!’

Connor instantly feels bad. ‘It’s my fault. I should have been faster.’

They watch the deviant’s silhouette become smaller and smaller in the distance and completely disappear behind a building. ‘You’d have caught it if it weren’t for me,’ Hank says, still panting. He places a warm, heavy hand on Connor’s shoulder. ‘That’s alright. We know what it looks like. We’ll find it.’

Connor knows that they won’t. 

The hand moves to the centre of his back. ‘C’mon,’ Hank guides him to the fire exit, ‘let’s report that bastard.’

oOoOo

Before

RK800, serial #313 248 317 - 51 opens his eyes for the first time. Information floods in through his HUD, displaying the exact hue of the lights overhead, the model of the 3D printer at the corner, and the materials of the boots the person standing in front of him is wearing. The badge only says ‘PROJECT LEAD’, and when he automatically utilises his facial recognition software, he finds both their name and their criminal record classified. Scans of their body also return with no result. Even though he has no actual experience, his coding tells him that this is not supposed to happen.

‘RK800,’ the person begins, ‘register name: Connor.’

[Name: Connor] appears on his HUD. He - Connor - finds himself repeating, ‘My name is Connor.’

The person’s expression changes. Emotion identified: amusement. ‘No redundant protocols. Good. Let’s play a game, shall we?’

A game turned into a few games, and the silence stretched on as Connor was presented with different scenarios to solve and predict their conclusion before halfway through them. First was a deck of cards, then a game of chess, then a rat going through a maze, then a supercharged piece of glass - that was the most difficult one as he was only given a second to pre-construct before a tree-like pattern appears from within the glass. The person never said their name, only commenting on his performance when he finished a task - regardless if he succeeded or not - and taking notes on a tablet by writing with a stylus. An unknown curiosity encouraged him to scan the human in front of him, but apart from superficial features such as the lack of dander on their clothing, results were inconclusive, and his programming indicated that this was abnormal.

‘Your LED is spinning yellow,’ they noted. ‘What are you thinking about?’

Connor knows it is a test on his social relations programme. Options: truth, lie, deflect, comment.

[truth]

‘When I was scanning you…’ he frowned, ‘only superficial scans come back with results. I cannot detect your life signs nor can I identify you through facial recognition. Is that expected?’

The person took out a putty and gave it to Connor. ‘Yes for me,’ they replied. ‘It is to protect my identity in case anti-android folks find me. The less data everyone has on me, the less likely it is for people to bring me harm.’

Connor nodded in understanding but his focus was on the putty. It was initially a soft green, but after he kneaded it for a few seconds it turned sky blue - not that he had seen the sky before, but databases worth of images was enough to give him an idea - and when he spread it out into a thin slice on the table, it slowly turned green again. He smiles uncontrollably as he met the person’s gaze, a corner of his lips curling upwards, and he could sense the approval radiating from the person sitting on the opposite side of the small desk. 

‘If you want to, I can bring you to see the sky,’ they said as if sensing his thoughts. ‘It’s rare to have a sunny day in Detroit, but they do exist. I can only programme so much into your system before letting you learn the rest from experience.’

Connor had to close his eyes as he browsed different forms of media on sunny days and imagined the warm sun on his sensors. He might not know it himself, but he was smiling, and so was his companion, albeit on a smaller scale. ‘I’d like that.’

He returned to the putty, this time trying to make different 3D shapes out of it. The edge of his vision was red as usual, and as he moved on to make even more complex figurines out of the putty, it crept closer and closer to the centre until everything was tinged the same colour. From the [satisfied] smile on the person’s face, he must be going towards the correct direction with the test.

‘Well, the sky needs to wait.’

Connor looked up from the rough sculpture he made that was supposed to resemble a tree he saw in a photo in confusion. His companion stood up so he did as well, the red receding out of place and returning the colours back to his vision.

‘I have a mission for you.’

o0o0o

Less than an hour later, the same person sat in the darkened cab of a truck. There was an earpiece in their ear, and whatever the other side was feeding them, their dissatisfaction was clearly shown in their expression. 

Something made them sigh and turn their gaze outside the window where another CyberLife truck was parked. Personnel, probably hand-picked by Alec Ryder himself, loaded the broken PL600 piece by piece into a special foam box to preserve the state they found the biocomponents in to let technicians analyse what went wrong with him and what caused him to break away from his programming, but they knew that CyberLife was not going to find anything - they had not been for the past ten years, and the hypothesis they had was not going to get any results. It was either a miracle or pure stupidity that they could not think of another possibility regarding why androids were deviating.

From their angle, Captain Allen was seen carrying a deactivated Connor out from the building with another SWAT team member, and they knew that their time had arrived. Peeling off the skin of their hand, they interfaced with the truck to turn it into manual mode, effectively preventing it from taking off once the android was loaded at the back. They opened the door - both the passenger and the one at the back - and slid off the seat just in time for the Captain and his subordinate to arrive.

‘You from CyberLife?’ not-Allen asked. Standing in front of their superior, they did not notice him freeze upon seeing the person’s face, and the latter silently moved into their space to take their end of the stretcher and came face to face with Allen.

‘I’ll take it from here, Jamie,’ the Captain requested without taking his eyes off the person in front of him. ‘You go see how the others are doing.’

‘Aye aye, Captain.’ The second aye was much less jovial than the first, so Jamie must have finally noticed their Captain’s mood and adjusted accordingly. 

They watched Jamie jog away. As soon as they reached out of sight, the person cocked their head to tell Allen to load the body into the truck, but he did not return to his teammates even after the android was secure and sound.

‘You,’ he suddenly snapped at the only person in his proximity. The fact that he had to look up quite a bit to look at them in the eye did not diminish the fire in his eyes. ‘Why the fuck are you here?’

‘Don’t act so surprised, Captain,’ they said, looking down at the man in front of them. ‘You’re smart enough to figure it out.’

‘And you’re not smart enough to fucking disappear for the rest of your goddamned fucking life!’ Allen gritted. ‘You know you’re wanted for murdering thousands of people, don’t you?’

‘And you know that CyberLife turned it into a dumpster and made it impossible to gather evidence against me, don’t you?’

Allen pulled out his pistol and pointed it at their chin. ‘Face the truck. Hands on the hood.’

A wisp of blue reached out from their right hand and crushed the weapon into pieces. ‘Don’t forget what I can do, Captain,’ they crowded even closer to the Captain, and he took a step back. ‘I can repeat that, you know? Except there’re far more than a few thousand people here this time. None of you will suffer.’ A tendril picked up the scraps on the ground while they yanked Allen’s hand outward and forced it open, in which the pieces later fell. ‘Go back to your people, Captain. Practise. You will need every edge you have.’

They stared at each other. A blue glow emerged from Allen’s hand with his former weapon, and with a crackle of static and dark energy, the scraps were gone just like the site of the dumpster, torn apart molecularly into fundamental particles too small for the naked eye to perceive. He let out a sound of pain and nearly toppled, a hand on his shoulder the only thing keeping him from crashing onto the ground. Another hand shot out and brushes his thigh, black metal glowing faint blue in the darkness in an interface. Allen seemed to stand better afterwards.

‘This should last you for a few hours,’ the person said as if the Captain was not glaring at them.

‘You’ll not get away with this.’

‘It isn’t yours to decide.’

The tension in Allen’s spine snapped, and he walked away with brisk but slightly limping steps. The person gazed at Connor’s thirium-stained face before slamming the door shut and crammed themself into the driver’s seat, guiding the truck towards a direction not leading to CyberLife Tower under the cover of the night.

[eddiestattoos]

As promised. Me and my bs are back, hello friends. Been a few days...

Clark: last night we kind of kissed. Me: *fails to contain my snickering* kind of Clark?

The fact that Lex is somehow involved in every episode even though he's not actually on the show anymore is slightly bothersome tbh

Yet another Smallville dramatic hair cutting scene

Is it bad that I live for Clark/Tess scenes? Like just give me more please

"You really think you can declare Lex dead and not end up dead yourself?" You know what pal I'm sure my girl Tess can

"Clark no more super scares please I'm this close to a cardiac arrest"

I expected to like Tess but not quite this much she's a damn queen

Ok Lana really going for it girl I commend you but also why?

I'm bummed we're not going to get a lot of Lana and Tess scenes

Lana: whispers to Clark from the roof

Lol Oliver and Tess joining forces this shall be fun

CLARK AND LANA BROKE THE BED 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 AND CLARK WANTS TO SEE IF THEY CAN BREAK THE FLOOR I'll miss this energy

"Clark I love you being so romantic" honey he always has been you've just been blind to it

Oliver: well if it isn't metropolises newest power couple

"You're a clown aren't you a clown" Oliver Queen my beloved

My boy is still entertaining me from his hospital bed

Lana shoves doll head first into garbage: today's edition of things that were funny for no reason

I never thought that Lana's second departure could hurt as much as the first but damn ok watch me cry for eternity

*cries more*

*and more*

This damn show

PAIN

I feel genuinely sick this is making me so sad

Neat special effects on that kiss though, kudos

K I'm going to go cry for 10 minutes before I start the next ep

K it's been at least 15 and I still feel disgusting but I'm jumping back on the horse

They really had to bring this woman back. No offence but I hate you water lady

Wait she was 2 seasons ago?? I really have been flying through this show

What is with Smallville just having people incapacitated for months right before their departure from the show? Lana? And I ran into the Jimmy spoiler so I know that is coming

Ok things are moderately forgiven I'm laughing at Clois so it's getting ok again

Clark telling Lois he's the red blue blur I love them

"What'd you do, sneeze?" "Actually..." I'm not ok 😂😂

There's no way this is real

"Guess I should stop calling you Smallville"

I can't take this ep seriously 😂😂

"Have I been high this entire time?"

I really hate water lady. This bitch

More time travel oh boy that ended so well the last time

Yet again Clois breaking my heart when they're not even together

This ep better be the last time I see water lady

Ok this woman will be back and I'm going to scream ughhhh I hate her

Or maybe not thank you Davis

Damnit Clois stop this

I'm sorry father but you can't understand the level of inner demon that Davis has

Clark Kent, suit and tie, takes a backpack to work

My poor baby Jimmy please give this boy some joy before, well...

Davis is pretty clever in covering his ass I'll give him that

Poor Chloe joining the self blame parade

Jimmy and Davis are about to go to war I feel it

Jimmy love what the hell are you doing?

The thing I love about Davis is he genuinely tries to be good he just.... can't

Is it some sort of rite of passage in this show for characters to have a psychotic break?

Tess and her childhood tales this poor girl I could not love her more

"Skies are all clear" *turbulence seconds later*

Can't wait til Oliver finds out about his jet

"It's going to be one long happily ever after" *cries in knowledge of what's to come*

*CRIES MORE* JIMMY WHAT THE HELL

Davis drove the stake I told you

Wait Tess planned all that plane stuff? Huh. Clever

"One year closer to the sweet release of death" ok Lois

How is Oliver so cute?

Me when Ollie first came in: he is Oliver I will not call him Ollie. Me now: Ollie my baby!!!

"Oh my god I'm Lois"

"Isnt there a limit to how tight a shirt can be to meet dress code" I love Clark and his reaction

"Its ok I'm Chloe" says Lois... well... whatever... anyway...

Another rite of passage seems to be helping brainwashed Clark through learning his abilities. Although I guess it's technically the same person

"You're a superhuman being from another planet " "that's great just don't tell human resources alright"

I don't really know whether to refer to her as Lois or Chloe but hey. Also Clark wasn't the flower in the hair a dead giveaway it wasn't Lois?

"Look at the rust in here no wonder it just pulled off like that"

"That's amazing. The acoustics up here are incredible. It's like there's some perfect echo point right here"

I could really just copy this entire scene on here, its practicality what I'm doing anyway

Clark being concerned about his deadline. Can relate

"Sorry guys. I'll make sure you get a nice Christmas bonus" Oliver is just very funny sometimes

Wait how they'd get off the roof?

And howd Ollie get off the pole?

Oliver: What is this, you drop by to kick my ass again, it was so much fun for me the first time

"Here's a thought. Don't do it again" good advice Ollie

One of these eps, they'll get together obviously. One of these eps....

[weekly-todoroki-meetups]

Weekly Todoroki Meetups: # 6

*Silence as everyone looks at each other- The Todoroki siblings are there plus Hawks*

Natsu: So.

Fuyumi: *Gulps- Looks nervously at Hawks and Dabi* Yes?

Shoto: Will this group ever be the same after last week?

Dabi and Hawks: Nope.

Hawks: I’m sorry you all had to see that- I don’t normally forget where I hide corpses!

*Le gasp*

Hawks: Wait I worded that wrong- I don’t find corpses often! *Shoto, Fuyumi and Natsu all look at each other sweating slightly*

Dabi: Hehe. Sure you don’t~

Hawks: DABI.

Natsu: Both of you, be quite. Anyways- What’s are plan this week?

Dabi: Burn those bodies I found in Hawks room on Endeavours desk.

Fuyumi: OH MY GOSH NO-

Hawks: WAIT WHAT I DONT HAVE BODIES!!!

Shoto: *Eating popcorn*

Fuyumi: I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE NATSUUU

Natsu: Just believe who you trust more!

Fuyumi: Hawks, I trust you more even if you murdered someone. Dabi has the higher death count out of you two anyways.

Shoto: Huh.

Natsu: Back on track guys?

Hawks: Thank you Fuyumi for blessing me with your trust, I appreciate it-

Dabi: *As he talks his flames slowly start to ignite and surround him* Alright, why don’t we murder some people, cut off their fingers and toes, spell out liar on Endeavours agency door and then hang their burning corpses from the roof? That way while their flesh melts and turns crispy they drip-

Natsu: WOAH NO THAT TOOK A REALLY DARK TURN-

Fuyumi: WHY CANT WE DO SPICE GIRLS?!

*Hawks pulls out squirty bottle and squirts Dabi*

Dabi: HEY-

Hawks: Hush. *Squirts him*

Dabi: *Hiss*

Hawks: Hush.

Natsu: SO WHAT ARE WE DOING.

Hawks: Let’s go to the shops!

Fuyumi: But why?

Hawks: *Enthusiasm and excitement is at 100% by now*I don’t know- But it’ll be fun while we brainstorm!

Dabi: There’s no point- Nobody’s gonna say yes.

Natsu: Sure, sounds great. We can all have some hang out time to think!

Fuyumi: Alright! We should totally try this! Bonding time- Maybe we can all forget last week!

Shoto: That meetup haunts my nightmares.

Hawks: YAY!!! *Grabs Dabi’s arm* Let’s go!

*Everyone is exciting and chatting*

Dabi: There’s no point in trying to resist- I’ll get my jacket.

Hawks: Wa-hoo!

[Later at the mall]

Hawks: Ugh, I hate your jacket. No style whatsoever!

Dabi: It’s to hide my identity so I don’t get caught by the cops.

Fuyumi: *Thinking- Whispers something in Hawks ear while Dabi looks at them suspiciously and slowly backs away*

Shoto: What first?

Natsu: We look for inspiration-

Hawks: WE GIVE TOUYA A MAKEOVER!

Dabi: NO I KNEW IT-

Fuyumi: *Clapping excitingly* Yes! We can get you knew piercings-

Shoto: *Eating popcorn* This sounds fun.

Dabi: Hell no *bleep*, I’m outta here-

*Natsu catches him and gives Hawks a thumbs up*

Dabi: ISNT THIS SUPPOSE TO BE A MEETING FOR TARNISHING ENDEAVOUR NOT ME?!

Hawks: *Squirty bottle followed by hissing* We can come up with ideas later!

Dabi: *Everyone advancing in him* GET AWAY FROM ME YOU OVERSIZED CHICKEN AND HOT N COLD WANNABES-

Natsu: Wait.

*Everyone stops- Dabi prepares to ditch everyone*

Natsu: Why don’t we split up into pairs and find inspiration instead of torturing big bro Touya?

Dabi: Don’t call me that- WAIT.

Fuyumi: Yes?

Dabi: Be my partner so I don’t have to go with Hawks-

Fuyumi: Nope- Natsu and me are going together.

Dabi: Shoto?

Shoto: Sorry- I’m taken. *Is with a random guy who looks like he escaped from a meme*

Dabi: Goddamit! You don’t even know him-

Hawks: Yay- Makeover time! LETS GO! *Grabs his arm and runs off. All the leftover siblings do the cross motion on their chest and salute*

Natsu: Alright- See everyone later! Any ideas Fuyumi?

Fuyumi: Hell yeah, let’s go!

[An hour later- Shoto and RG]

RG: So What are we doing bro?

Shoto: Tarnishing my fathers name for revenge because of his constant abuse throughout me and my siblings childhood.

RG: Lit.

Shoto: Excuse me?

RG: Bro, it’s slang.

Shoto: *Confused* It makes me die inside everytime you talk with it.

RG: Ha, so fresh bro.

Shoto: I AM CONFUSED TALK HUMAN.

Shoto: Wait.

RG: Spill the tea and explain bro.

Shoto: Teach me your slang. If I hate it my father will.

RG: No problemo, I can teach you bro.

Shoto: Thank you- Now stop saying bro before I pull a Dabi.

[Fuyumi and Natsu]

Fuyumi: These are horrible- my eyes can’t handle them! *Is holding a pair of boots that are to hideous to describe*

Natsu: *Holding a glitter bomb kit like it’s gold* I don’t even want to see-

Kirishima: OH WOW THOSE ARE GREAT!!! *Is pointing at the shoes*

Fuyumi: Ah hello! What are these?

Kirishima: Crugges, potentially Todoroki’s sister- Aren’t they awesome?

Fuyumi: If awesome is rock bottom shoe design then yes.

Natsu: Wait- Those are horrible. Any sane human would hate them! And getting glitterbombed by this. *motions to kit*

Kirishima: Sounds about right!

Fuyumi and Natsu: *Le gasp* Bingo!

[Hawks and Dabi]

Hawks: And I think a blue would be the best colour for you in a snazzy-

Dabi: Aren’t we suppose to be finding ways to tarnish Endeavours name? This hardly supports the idea.

Hawks: Yup! But we still have a few hours to kill~ *Is walking around store with infinite outfits, all being carried by his telepathic feathers*

Dabi: Urgh. Look at these- *Is at the sock stand. Hawks runs over*

Hawks: THEYRE FABULOUS. LOOK AT THE TRAIN SOCKS!

Dabi: That’s gay.

Hawks: We’ve been dating for 2 years.

Dabi: True.

Hawks: But look at them!

Dabi: I can’t stop- Wait. Look at those- *Bird leg socks- Hawks has a twinkle in his eyes*

Hawks: I NEED THEM.

Dabi: No, I’m intervening-

Hawks: HAHA WE CAN USE THESE!!!

Dabi: No.

Hawks: FIRST WE NEED TO GET YOU DONE UP AND THEN WE BUY ALL OF THE SOCKS!!!

Dabi: What no why-

Hawks: LETS GO!

[Later at the foodcourt]

Natsu: So guys, what inspiration did you get?

Shoto: Imma make it clear that my ideas so fresh that even my *bleep* bro Endeavour can’t shake it.

Everyone: What.

Hawks: Heh slang- that’ll make Endeavour right out of this weird existence. *Finger guns*

Dabi: *Is hiding in jacket and muffled* This species needs a purge.

Natsu: That’s bad- Hawks and Dabi?

Hawks: SOCKS. *Throws a pair of pizza socks in Natsu’s face* YEET.

Fuyumi: *Is checking Natsu for potential injuries* Alright- Anything else?

Hawks: *Looking proud* Nope.

Shoto: *Facepalms*

Natsu: Well me and Fuyumi got these- A glitter bomb kit and several pairs of crugges. *Reveals shoes*

Hawks: Eww. I love them!

Dabi: Burn them- They’re disgusting and need to be destroyed.

Fuyumi: I know but this nice kid from Shoto’s class told us about them! I couldn’t refuse after he got blown up and dragged away by an angry sparkle sparkle boom boom teen after attempting to buy a pair for me! He said anything for a fellow crugges lover. Then I decided to by them to join the crugges community~

Natsu: Tis true. Also, what happened to Dabi?

Dabi: NOBODY SHALL KNOW. NOT EVEN OVER MY DEAD BODY. *Angrily Sets hands on fire*

Hawks: He doesn’t like my fashion taste.

Shoto: He’ll spill the tea eventually. *Finger guns*

Natsu: Please stop.

Fuyumi: So, What are we going to do?

Dabi: The corpses on his desk- I’m telling you! *Is squirted by Hawks*

Natsu: Votes?

Hawks: EVERYTHING. *Looks At Dabi suspiciously*

Hawks: Except his ideas.

Shoto: Sounds fly my- *Fuyumi covers his mouth*

Fuyumi: Sounds fun! We’ll do it tomorrow.

Hawks: Aw yeah!

Shoto: *muffled response*

Dabi: My idea was better.

Natsu: *Rubs neck Shinso style* Something tells me someone’s going to die during this chaos.

Everyone: Yep.

{To be continued}

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

Chat: Jo + Gray romcoms

(for lexy)

Jo> She likes pointless fluff movies. I’m being told I have to watch Friends With Benefits next after I finish the last 20 mins of the first half of this series

Jo> :l

Jo> *actually doesnt mind that movie just finds it hysterical Jo does*

Grey> Is Friends with Benefits the one with Mila Kunis?

Jo> Yep

Grey> Who’s the male lead in that?

Jo> Justin Timberlake

Grey> Ah

Jo> It’s kind of hilarious that Jo likes that movie

Grey> Because of how she is about relationships?

Jo> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_CVAI_twO0 and then http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA6M-V4oHso first 20 seconds just… kind of amazingly hilarious.

Jo> She’s somewhere between or actually boh main characters at once

Jo> (Also the Train in the background of the first cracks me up)

Grey> TRAIN IN THE BACKGROUND LOL

Jo> Yeeeep

Grey> You linked me the sex scene? LOL *signs in*

Jo> Its the end of the crappy romcom movie that the girl wanted to watch and the guy spent the entire time paying out.

Jo> LOL

Jo> Yes

Jo> Because

Jo> First 20 seconds is magic

Jo> …hell the entire thing is magic

Jo> And hilariously like if Jo were a guy and a girl at the same time

Jo> honest to god

Grey> “I sneeze sometimes after I come” *drink everywhere*

Jo> Wait for it

Grey> HES SINGING

Jo> LOL

Grey> “WHOA TOO FAR”

Jo> “When women start to scream it can me misconstrued”

Grey> *dead*

Grey> So much for just once

Jo> LOL Yeeeep.

Jo> Can you see kind of where I get my amusement from?

Grey> Yep

Jo> “Grab my hair.” “Kiss my neck”

Grey> *dies at butt part*

Jo> *nodnod*

Grey> Oh my god

Grey> Oh man mom walking in at the end

Jo> Lol yep

Jo> I find so much fucking amusement from that movie and the fact it’s number 3 on Jo’s fave ‘romcom’s

Grey> What are the first two?

Jo> Pretty Woman and Miss Congeniality

Grey> Awwwww Miss Congeniality. "So her top favorites are about a hooker finding a sugar daddy, a tomboy becoming a barbie doll and two friends fucking?“ Gray that’s not… no.

Jo> "Got a problem with that?” Gray. Darling. No��� …though he has a point but no…

Grey> “Other than your taste in movies is shit. No.” He’s got the air of implying about him.

Jo> “…I’m just glad it was top three then, I’m sure you’d find the next two just as shit…” Jo is well aware the implication and I am snickering my head off

Grey> “And what are those, Legally Blonde and The House Bunny?” *pets her*

Jo> “…no. Clueless and a tie between 500 Days of Summer and Runaway Bride….

Jo> ” She knows how bad those are, but theyre better than Legally Blonde and House Bunny at least. (What’s Your Number, Stardust, Legally Blonde, You’ve Got Mail and Sleepless In Seattle round out the top ten though)

Grey> “*snickering*” Yeah. The House Bunny is shit but Legally Blonde isn’t bad imo. It’s got Matt Davis in it for one so…

Jo> “…oh go ahead. Say it.” Lol yeah House Bunny is. Legally Blonde’s pretty alright - the second is dreadful though.

Grey> “Say what that you have horrible picks and clearly just want some guy to swoop in a rescue you?” Second one doesnt exist in my mind. Because I like the first one too much to admit it.

Jo> “You just don’t like romantic comedies and most of those involve free thinking, independent women who can survive all on their own without a man…sorta.” LOL I cried my way through it. In pain.

Grey> “Except they all end up with a guy and the whole plot of them is either "fucks a dude and keeps fucking him” or “discovers she’s ladylike after all”.“ I saw it on tv once, attempted to watch then switched the channel 5 minutes in because it was hurting

Jo> "Pretty Woman is about how you aren’t just your job - that there is more to a person than just that; Miss Congeniality is about doing the right thing, and that everyone can be more than what their intial appearance might suggest; FoB is about how… sometimes worrying about the labels of things can ruin something that’s working and that …getting over that shit’s for the best…” It’s dreadful..

Grey> “Uh huh.” Yeah I dont know what charm the first one has that the second one is missing but you can definitely tell it’s missing it. Same with Miss Congeniality, first movie is cute second movie makes you want to tear out your eyes

Jo> (Oh god, I just realised the girl in Friends with Benefits at the start is going to go see Pretty Woman at the cinema as some romcom weeklong thing and her then bf dumps her out front and she’s already missed the boots)

Grey> *DEAD*

Jo> “…shut up, alright. God, a girl is allowed to like pointless fluff sometimes!” LOL So so true. The same goes for Bring It On. *crying at this movie again now*

Jo> (“You know I love this movie! If a prostitute and a ruthless businessman who fall in love, then anyone can. *wistful sigh/tone*” *dying*)

Grey> “I would think you get enough of that with the runt.” Oh my god that’s hilarious

Jo> “…I think your brother knows better than to..freak me out with that sort of thing. Reality, fiction, don’t cross the streams..much.” I know. I forgot it and now Im dead.

Grey> “So he’s not constantly trying to bring you flowers or jewelry or anyt of that other crap? I’m surprised he has so much restraint.” No wonder Jo likes the movie

Jo> “No, he’s not. Seems you don’t know him quite as well as you think…” Oh yeah. … http://youtu.be/GvBNVJjhj4Q?t=11s Just… start o the film is pretty much this. And yep. It totally does.

Grey> “Or he doesn’t like you as much as he says he does.” I feel bad for Justin’s character cause that bitch crazy

Grey> “Next time just shit on my face cause that’s the same thing” no it isnt lady

Jo> Wait for the explanation of Mila’s character

Grey> WOW Andy’s a dick

Jo> LOL Yuuuuup

Grey> *spit take at Justin*

Jo> Just wait

Jo> It gets more

Grey> *DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD*

Jo> “Or maybe he likes me as much as he says he does and doesn’t want me to feel uncomfortable or pressured and is making sure I’m okay with things.” I KNOW RIGHT?! AND THATS JUST THE FIRST THREE MINUTES OF THE MOVIE

Grey> “If he liked you as much as he said, he’d get you flowers. Because that’s what Grey does, flowers and chocolate and bubble baths with candles and rose petals and all the other lame shit because that’s what he does, he does the lame "romantic” crap and he likes doing that. So he either doesnt actually care that much or he’s completely terrified of you and is too scared to even approach the matter"

Grey> That’s hilarious

Grey> Especially Justin’s just completely lunatic of the girlfriend. Like Mina’s guy was just lazy and a jerk but Justin’s girl was fucking monkeynuts crazy

Jo> “He would not - he might want to, but right now? He wouldn’t. I prefer non-materialistic things anyway so…” I know. She’s amazing. She keeps calling too. I seriously recommend it if you have a few hours to spare or fill or are bored sometime because that movie is just great. Better than No Strings (the Portman/Kutcher one)

Grey> “If he wouldnt its because you’re scaring him. But hey if you’re cool with him being too scared to say what he wants then….” It does look a lot funnier than Natalie’s

Jo> “I am not /scaring/ him. He knows he can say whatever he likes to me or bring up stuff…. …” It is. I’ve seen both several times, Friends With is much better. The original Coke to Nat’s new.

Grey> “Sure he does. That’s why he didn’t tell you he loved you for the longest time. Because he’s totally not afraid to talk to you.” I feel like I should just watch both then Black Swan to mindfuck myself but I can’t right now lol

Jo> “He does, and… that’s none of your business, and it wasn’t 'the longest time’, was barely three months after..” LOL Oh god that would be dreadful.

Grey> “Uh huh. And he hasnt really said it again has he?” Yep it would

Jo> “He has too. …a few times.” Brainfuck indeed.

Grey> “And I bet you know exactly how many because it doesnt happen a lot.” Completely

Jo> “…your point being? People don’t have to say they love one another all the time, I’m sure you could count on one hand the number of times you’ve said it.”

Grey> “Because I’m a arrogant asshole monster who doesn’t really give two shits to get emotional about things. Does that sound like Grey to you?”

Jo> “…no. Sounds a little like me though, so instead - how often has Anna said it to you, huh? Just because he doesn’t say it often doesn’t mean he doesn’t know he can ask about things or talk about stuff.”

Grey> “More than five times less than twenty. He’s stupid though, how would you know he knew he could ask if he doesnt feel like he could say it? Doesnt matter now I guess with that collar on you he’ll be too freaked out to do much of anything”

Jo> “..Oh. ….Because he knows me? Because neither of us is going to judge or fly off the handle? Because I haven’t gone running yet? ….shut up, fuck you.”

Grey> “If he knows you he knows that your terrified of getting attached and won’t bring it up for fear of driving you away. I’m just stating facts.”

Jo> “Otherwise known as caring and respecting a loved ones boundaries. And you say that like we’re not attached, because we are, so shove off. …you’re being a dick with the truth.”

Grey> “Otherwise known as being spineless. Wait until he wants to get married then see how attached you are. Better than just being a dick right?”

Jo> “There’s a difference - one is being respectful, the other has no basis other than fear for it. …. ………. Let’s not talk about that, ever, again. Oh shut up..”

Grey> “So how do you know he’s doing it out of respect instead of fear? Just wait.”

Jo> “Because, I just do. …And I said again…”

Grey> “Uh huh. You’re going to run when you see that little box.”

Jo> “…. ….I’m not going to run..” Mental commentary: “I’m going to politely say I need time to think, excuse myself and go hide under the covers. The fastest will be a brisk walk. Yes. No running. It’d be fine.”

Grey> “Yes you are. Watching him bend his knee and go into his pocket for it is just going to scare you so badly you’re going to take off running like a scared deer.” Awwww poor Jo

Jo> “No. I’m… I have more restraint than that even if that /isn’t/ my response.” Think she’d feel bad for it but..unless she suggests it she’ll probably freak.

Grey> “You’re right, cause he’s probably going to do it in public. You wouldnt want to make a scene. All those eyes on you expecting to say yes especially his when he looks so happy and expectant.” He wouldnt ask. I mean like… probably never unless they actually had a kid. Because he knows it wouldnt work

Jo> ( http://youtu.be/VIirTZQWJBg?t=30s *crying* Guess Jo has a penis where her vaginas supposed to be)

Grey> (SO DEAD. Oh Woody Harrelson you are always hilarious)

Jo> “…shut up. How do you know the answer would be no? Or that I wouldn’t be the one askin’? Everyone’s always calling me the boy of us…” Cue gray laughing head off. And yeah, no - I’d figured he probably wouldn’t, what’s sad is a marriage would work but proposing the idea wouldnt. (IKR? He’s a gay sports writer)

Grey> “Because you don’t do commitment? You… ask him… *laughing*” *nods* He’d figure they couldnt therefore wouldnt ask unless its a kid in which case he’d feel like “this is a family now” and ask. (He’s hilarious. I lost it)

Jo> “I do sometimes. …. *tries not to laugh as well* Yeah, okay shut up..” Yep - which I think he might be able to get a yes if he didn’t say it was cause she was preg or had had a baby, mde the family comment instead. (LOL Yeeep)

Grey> “Fine. That was funny enough I’ll shut up. *still laughing*” *nods* I think his approach would be something like “I’d like for us to be a family. And I want to be officially part of that family.” Plus that way if something happens to Jo the kids stay with him. (Armpit girl? Do I even want to know…)

Jo> ( http://youtu.be/GJucbfuvh-A armpit girl)

Grey> (Oh Justin baby what is it with you and crazy broads)

Jo> “Glad you enjoyed it… *fails at holding back a giggle* Okay seriously, I’m not that bad.. or I’m not the worst, so shuddup.” Yeah, that would actually probably work. (Yeeeep)

Grey> “Not the worst? Right okay compared to like me or something.” And of course Grey would have the sense enough not to try to make a big affair of it, nor would he want to

Jo> “There are worse people out there without going straight to you, Gray.” Yep yep - big affair woul get a no.

Jo> (Oh god, I forgot the guy in this has a stutter when he was nervous)

Grey> “*indignantly* Are not. I’m the worst. End of discussion.” *slaps Gray for wanting to look like the horrible monster again* I think the closest he’d come to that was asking if she wanted her mother there or any close friends. (So dead)

Jo> “Sure thing, I just meant there were people between the two of us on the worse scale is all.” *snickers at him* lol true true. Knowing Jo she’d not want much, or until after. (Yeeep)

Grey> “Nope. You’re close enough to me there’s no one left between us.” *nods* Jesse go to bed jo harvelle gray chat complete Aug 21st, 2012

[dreammutual-remade]

mua!you and lucas

request: hi may you please do a bullet point scenario about lucas and his girlfriend who is a make up artist for nct. thank youu- anon

word count: 3.4k

a/n: anon !!! thank u for requesting I lowkey struggled with this concept bc I was like uhhh how r they gonna u know,,, do the affection but once I figured it out this was so fun to write !!! I love Lucas hehehehehe. also I realized when I was picKINg this gif that I forgot to include the filming of the yearbook shiygeidfhvf pretend it didn't happeN okay

ps I have 8 requests as of now and I promise I will get to all of them pls have patience w/ me ily all <33333

good evening, Thots

let us dive in, shall we

alright so you had been doing makeup since you were a wee lass !!

of course it was , pretty terrible but like practice makes perfect and now you’re an absolute LEGEND

one of your friends convinced you to start posting tutorials and have an instagram acc dedicated to your Iconic Looks and the rest was history !!!!

you started getting hella attention everyone loved you bitch !!!

so you started advertising you were like ayy if y’all need your makeup done , hmu i am Skilled

at first you started out doing other gals makeup for formal dances and whatnot

then you climbed your way up the celebrity ladder and now you’re a god damn nct makeup artist ?????

things you did: THAT

alright so you got hired just in time for cherry bomb promotions

you took a look at some of their past looks and ,,,,, you were horrified honestly who did that to them

SM CAN GET FUCKED

anyways you Turned Their Shit Around and had them lookin bout fine as hell

all the boys had been super awkward around you at first and it was soooo funny

because you were pretty used to being v close to people you don’t know well

from all the years of doing other people’s makeup now you just go right in

you got real close to mark and he squeaked and like pressed himself back into the chair

like ? shouldn’t he be used to this by now ???

johnny was the only one who was cool with you the first time even if he was an absolute SLEAZEBAG

“sorry if i get all up in your face i’m just trying to keep your eyebrows FLEEKY U KNO WHAT IM SAYIN”

“nah i don’t mind having a face like yours that close ;)))))”

“oops didn’t mean to bump into your knee like that”

“that’s okay my lap is always open for u :}”

he’s the worst god i love him

you’re on the younger side too so he’s all,

c̢̖̲̹̞̰̪ͅa̫͠l̶̜̞l̠̝͇͠ ̪̙͕̲̫̯m̙̪͖e̱͙̦̳̦̝͢ ͕̼̳̰̞o̹p҉͖̘͙͍̞̲p͍̙͙͙̹̖͞a҉̠͓̠̜͕

and you’re all

NO

taeyong asks how old you are and as soon as he finds out you’re younger than him he becomes your mom

you’ll be doing his makeup and he’s like okay but have u eaten today ??? you look too thin please eat

“one: stop moviNG IM TRYING TO CONTOUR YOU and two: please are u my damn grandmother i’m FINE i’ve eaten plenty :&&;&,$,”

you and haechan just roast each other the whole time

“yet another pimple i see, hyuckie, have you been keeping up with the skincare regimen i sent you home with?”

“first of all, fuck you, second of all, you sent me home with a piece of paper that said ‘you can wash your face to get rid of the acne but there’s nothing you can do about the ugly’ you evil WITCH”

but it’s all in good fun and you and hyuck are besties at heart and can tell when it’s not a good day for teasing

whenever you can tell he’s down you make sure to be extra playful when you’re putting on his makeup, tapping him on the nose or tickling his ear with your makeup brush til he giggles

i’m soft gOD

THIS ISNT A DONGHYUCK FIC I GOTTA CHILL

the rest are pretty cool with you too!! yuta is a worse flirt than johnny though it’s like unnecessary but it’s funny and you know he’s , mostly kidding, so you let it slide

anyways !!! cherry bomb is coming to a close and you did That the entire time you had them absolutely GLOWING

but then you get some emails from your boss talking about a new NCT U song/concept that will be filmed toward the end of the year

((i think that’s when it was filmed ?? i’m so sorry if there’s inaccuracies in here i’m very bad with dates :’-)))))))

they tell you you’re traveling to the UKRAINE

THATS FAR

and VERY COLD

they also tell you that they’re gonna be debuting two new members in this unit and you’re a little Nervous since you’ve only been doing 127’s and Dream’s makeup for the past like , half a year

(u were responsible for the we young era,,,,, god bless u)

but you’re also excited because they described the concept to you and you’ve already got ideas to make everyone look Hot and Badass

your boss sent some predebut pics and said the new ones were Yukhei and Jungwoo and, wOW THEYRE PRETTY

jungwoo looks absolutely soft and squishy so you’re a bit worried about making him look ,,,,, BOSS but yukhei.

is a whOLE MAN

he’s got big eyes and lips that give him softer features but , the look in his eyes and like his cheekbones and ????? wow you’re gonna turn him into Daddy Material

anywhom

the time has come and we are on our way to the ukraine !!! yeehaw it’s cold as balls out here

you arrive and get to stay in the hotel for a night before you gotta Get To Work

you arrive bright and early with all your beauty products

you , as the resident makeup artist, look cute as hell even if you are rather cold

your nose is tinted a bit red even tho you have foundation on rip

you set up your little station in the main tent because they’re gonna film all the outdoor parts first

jaehyun walks in first with winwin and they he looks scruffy af

“jaehyun you DOLT did you not shave ??? you know that tickles my hand when i’m trying to make you hot”

“i’m already hot”

“uh huh go shave your face i guarantee you don’t want me to try”

“ugh, yes ma’am”

“hey winwinie~”

“good morning !!!”

winwin is Precious and Easy To Work With as usual

mark comes in next and he’s flustered and cute AS USUAL

of course he’s comfy with you now but you enjoy making him flustered

“mark, baby, you’re GLOWING today!!! go off king”

“y/N PLEASE ENOUGH”

doyoung comes next and his Flawless Skin makes the process so much easier for you ugh

reLEASE THE SKINCARE ROUTINE

COWARDS

anywhom you get to meet jungwoo next !!!

FUCKIN UWU

his blue hair ,,,,,,,, amazing

he’s so sweet and releases little breathy giggles every once in a while when the brushes tickle him

you’re finishing up with jungwoo when, the Man Himself literally stumbles into the tent

“hyUNG are you almost done we’re bout to film man”

and he is absolutely Large and you are , very appreciative god damn

even barefaced this man baby looks GOOD that is not fair :-(

“lucas!~ you still have to get your makeup done but i think y/n was almost finished. are you?”

jungwoo turns to look up at you while he asked and you, have to exercise GREAT restraint not to talk to him in a baby voice

so you just nod and then give him a once over and tell him he can go ahead to wardrobe

you wave yukhei over and you’re like hey uh ,,, yukhei? or should i call u lucas ?!/!:&:&

he cackles and asks you to call him lucas and asks your name and how old you are and what your star sign is and your favorite color and your nct bias

(when you tell him you love them all equally he’s all like Not For Long 

>:-))) soon i shall PREVAIL)

basically he’s questioning you and you’re like oKAY PLEASE IM TRYING TO MAKE YOUR FACE BEAUTIFUL

“my face is already beautiful thank u very MUCH”

“you boys are all the same jaehyun  already pulled that shit today, LAME”

he pouts and you tap him on the lip with the handle of your makeup brush and then Get To Work

you truly have him lookin RIGHT wooo shit he looks good

and as you’re doing it your brain is like that clip from sponge bob where squidward is like oh NO he’s hot !!!! :(

you’re doing his eye makeup and you’re standing, in between his legs like they’re so long and in the way it’s the only way to get close enough to to do it well and you’re highkey, Blushing

he’s literally just staring up at you while you do his makeup and your hands are starting to shake what business does he have with such big brown puppy dog eyes :((((

“hey quit staRINg at me dude”

“ am i making u,,,, nervous ;)”

“, YES pls stop :((“

“aw i’m srry :((((“

pouts AGAIN and you shove his shoulder a little for making fun of you

when you finish you just kind of nod and he takes that as a go ahead and like SPRINGS up

and you’re standing very close so he almost knocks you the hell over

you tip backwards and he grabs you by the waist to steady you while you basically grab handfuls of his clothes to keep you upright

there’s a pause where you guys are just.. pressed together before you fly apart and lucas awkwardly rubs the back of his neck like nervous boys do in movies AW

“i really gotta stop knocking people over i almost took oUT jungwoo earlier srry abt that :’-))))))”

you’re like haha it’s fine :’-))))))))))))))

it’s really awkward so he yeets out of there just as taeyong strolls in looking entirely too smug

“so, you’ve taken a liking to our newest member hmmmm ??”

“aw no jungwoo is just so cute !!”

“quit playing dumb you knew what i meant”

“okaY but literally nothing happened please don’t make this a big deal”

“it’s a big deal bbg it’s tOO LATE NOW”

you sigh and then do his makeup pretty quickly since even barefaced he looks unreal

fckin anime character

okay everyone is now made up and dressed (jaehyun came last freshly shaven , looking like a bar of soap as usual) and you’re on standby outside to fix any little blemishes they may get while filming

everything is pretty good because most of the boys are used to wearing makeup but lucas is Dumb and just like ?? rubs at his eye and wipes half of it off ????

you sCREECH as he’s doing it and he jumps and is like ??? what is it what���s wrong with you

“what’s wrong with me ??? wHATS WRONG WITH YOU I WORKED HARD TO MAKE YOU LOOK THAT ETHEREAL DAMNIT”

you have to fix it on the spot so y’all can stay on schedule so he does that thing where he stands with his legs super far apart so his face is level with yours

his legs are so far apart in order for him to be short enough rip (.... literally. pray for his pants u guys)

you fix up his eye and warm him that you’ll give him a black eye with your fist instead of makeup if he messes up your Artwork again

the shoot goes really well and you get to know lucas and jungwoo better throughout the rest of the filming

things are…. tense between you and lucas but not in like a bad way more like a we are both sort of attracted to each other and unsure what to do from here way

lucas gets braver as time passes and has become wayyyyy more flirty

the tension just sort of transforms to hardcore flirting and little fleeting touches jskdkfk

you havent stopped blushing for like 4 days straight

as you do his makeup he’ll stare up at you with fckn awestruck eyes and one of his hands will drift up to circle around your wrist as you tilt his head this way and that

its a GIANT hand too I just wanna mention that they're very nice hands thank you for your time

as you do his makeup you’ll purposefully let your hand linger on his neck and use your thumb to caress turn his jaw

when you stand between his legs to do his makeup he’ll scoot to the edge of the chair to get as Close As Possible until your hips are almost touching the inside of his thighs ???:$&:&:@:@

SPICY

but eventually the shoot is over :(((( rip

buT no worries ;))))) black on black is being filmed in like a month and you’ll see his goofy ass soon heheh

highkey black on black makes u , Hot And Bothered like the part where lucas is on the floor and doing thaT THING

YALL KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT

he highkey gets up and is like

did u like that babygirl ~~~ 😤😘💕🤪😩

and you just stick your tongue out at him and he sticks his tongue out at you and it’s Juvenile

“JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY!!!!”- johnny, from across the room

you: Red

lucas: wheezing

you guys pull all the same touchy flirty bullshit for this MV filming too and all the boys are like o.o

“hyung are u dating our makeup artist(¬‿¬) ” -chenle

“god i wish”

“what”

“i mean , no”

and now BOSS has been released and you’ve gotta do his makeup for all these stages and you two just , keep dancing around each other

when the boys get their first win for BOSS tho lucas is sO HYPE

because it’s his first time really performing live and they WON AND ???? THIS IS CRAZY

and he’s so happy he’s like shaking and he bursts into the dressing room after they all come off stage

he makes it there before everyone else because he RAN like a dork

you’re packing up all your stuff and hear the door open and you turn around to congratulate the boys but it’s just lucas and he runs in and pICKS YOU UP

he spins you around and sets you down and is like

JSDKSJDK Y/N WE WON ????

and you’re like

OMG YEAH I KNOW IM SO PROUD OF U ??!:&:@.

and then he just kisses you right on the lips in excitement

it’s just a press of lips and it was barely a kiss since he was still smiling so hard

his smile fades after and he looks , terrified

you also are terrified because ?

he’s Done It Now

the imaginary LINE has been CROSSED

but like, the barrier is broken now right ????

yolo

so you just shake your head and flick him on the nose

“damn you could have taken me to dinner first”

he laughs nervously because you haven’t made it clear whether or not you’re going to murder him and, That’s Scary

but you giggle and press up on your toes to kiss him more gently and tell him it’s okay and you like him and if he likes you back that would be GREAT

and he just smooshes you against him really hard and presses at least 26 kisses to your cheeks and it tickles and you’re like heY STOP THE LIPSTICK I PUT ON YOU WILL STAIN ME

“i like u too,, HEHEHHE”

“god you had to ruin it by cackling like the wicked witch of the west didn’t you???”

“absolutely, sweetheart :)”

okay the rest of nct u is on the way so you quickly agree that this should be a Semi Secret relationship because he’s so new to the scene and he’s probably not even allowed to date rn lol

but he INSISTS that he can treat you well no matter what and who are you to stop him honestly

he’s so blatant with the touching while you do his makeup now though that although you haven’t explicitly told anyone ,,, all the members of NCT know

he just loops his arms around your hips and pulls you close and blatantly admires you while you’re concentrated on his makeup

squeezes your ass every once in a while which makes you squeak and slap his shoulder

that little SHIT

one time taeil caught you sneaking in some food for lucas during dance practice and was like

“honestly just come in we all know you’re in a relationship gOD it’s so obvious”

so now you come to dance practice all the time with food for him and extra for the other boys

he’s always jealous

literally all the time

you’ll be doing marks makeup and hyping him up as usual

(baby bOY DESERVES IT)

and lucas will be :(((((( y don’t u say that stuff to me

“i literally say that and more to you and about you”

“okay but why not only me :(((((“

“oh my god”

or when you bring food he’ll be like NO she brought this for me go away you commoners !!!!!

honestly you feel like you’re taking care of a toddler sometimes except he’s HUGE

you have to be like

“now lucas, sharing is caring and i brought enough for everyone stop being gREEDY”

any free time he has he comes to your apartment

mainly because you guys want to be mushy and coupley and not have to listen to all the members whining and fake gagging

he’ll knock on your door at midnight with a blanket in hand and fresh out of the shower and looking CUTE

“can i sleep over :(((( i cant sleep without you:((((((“

BITCH

your heart melts oh my shosjdjdjckf

and this boy basically can’t sleep without you now because he sleeps over so much im emo

at first he insists on being the big spoon every time but after awhile Sleepy Baby Boy Lucas reveals himself

when he’s super tired he’ll just let himself in and climb in your bed and plant his head on your chest and his arms around your waist and just sigh contentedly

if he can’t sleep he’ll steal your hand and place it on top of his head and nudge you til you start running your fingers through his hair and scratching his scalp

uwu this is so cute

loves to hold your hands whenever possible

you guys can’t really go on dates since the relationship is Super Secret and he wants so bad to show you off but he CANT :/

so he just pretends y’all are out on the town and holds your hand at home when you’re just chillin

has taken to putting things you need in very high places so he can come up behind you and reach over your head to hand it to you

okay but like once in a while you both do your best to have a Normal Date where you go out doors you just have to be

Incognito Mode

so summer dates dont really work out since it’s hard to hide your identity when you’re not covered head to toe because it’s HOT

they’re mainly winter dates like ice skating and hot chocolate and fall festival stuff !!!!

he insists that you go to any festival in town like INSISTS

festival for a random and obscure flower?? you best believe you’re attending and going home covered flowers

he tried to make you a flower crown but it kept falling apart so he just stuck flowers all up in your hair AWE

forced you to pose so he could take pictures of you

(he made it his lock screen !!!! uwu)

this boy just, loves you so much and the day he tells you is when you’re both sick and dying because he got a cold and then gave it to you so you’re both laying in bed feeling Terrible

you’re laying there and feeling lightheaded and too hot but you’re both Clingy so you still hold hands at least lmao

and lucas tugs on your hand and you flop on your side to look at him expectantly

“yes, lucas?”

“hey”

“hey”

“guess what”

“hmmmmm what”

“i love you”

“oh, me too”

“like you love me too or you love you too”

“U2 is alright i guess”

“no i mean do you love me or yourself”

“both”

“sweet, self love is important too”

and theN YOU TERRIBLE PEOPLE PASS OUT HEHSHS

WHO CONFESSES THEIR LOVE LIKE THAT ????

when you wake up you feel slightly better and look over and see Your Man sprawled out over the bed with one arm haphazardly thrown over you

he rlly can’t sleep without a hand on you that is so so cute fuckdjkdjd

you remember confessing your love to each other in a delirious and feverish haze and snicker because it was RIDICULOUS

you gently turn to face him so you don’t wake him up and trail your fingertips up his arms to trace his features

his eyes flutter open and he’s literally unreal like he looks like an angel

and he smiles all sleepy like and brings his hand up to capture your wrist and kiss your palm

“good morning i’m no longer fucked up on theraflu and i love you”

“good morning i’m also no longer fucked up and i love you MORE”

he scoffs dramatically

“not possible !!!!!”

“is too !!!”

“is nOT”

“IS TOO”

“IS NOT”

and so on :-)

[greyjackwatcher]

Me: okay i wanna reread chapter 353 so that i can make a post on it

Me: from where will i go and read this chapter

ME: FORGETS THE NEW SITE I FOUND AND GOES BACK TO THE PREVIOUS ONE THAT HAD AWFUL TAKES(bc i always forget it and i am an idiot)

Me: goes to look at the comments like a goddamn moron

The comments: okay how about we show you how many points pass over our heads huh(in read below there are several comments that i angered me quite a bit bc holy s*** you completely miss out a whole lot of points that have been shown by the manga)

‘’Going a bit further, I always love to see the evolution of the main cast's abilities like the Devil Fruit Awakenings or Quirk Evolutions, I just wish this second war invoked some actual tension and drama, Deku is flying to reach the roof.. ahem... I mean Shigaraki, when I always thought these two would be so overly powered and wise that their battle would decide the fate of the world, but instead AFO has managed to infect the entire series and it just feels pointless for Shigaraki's character to endure a few things (because he's a spoiled brat) only to have the big bad be All Might's Enemy. Instead imagine if we only had Shigarki whose warped goals led him to challenging Deku to a series of battles, through trial and error he has built this new empire with blood, sweat, and tears. Shigaraki should be the big bad right now. It also might of been cool to see a fight between him and AFO. Prince versus the King, Master versus Apprentice for a battle of supremacy, I think he would of won so much respect from the fandom if he was like an underdog-type character that never gave up and endured huge amount's of adversity. Speaking of battles, if the only casualties of war are canon fodder then it doesn't feel realistic. ‘’

 ‘‘ In response to youre statement that shigaraki has become pointless, i half agree... shigaraki manipulated one of the top criminal organizations pre assimilation,rivaled gigantomachia pre assimilation, awakened his quirk preassimilation, underwent torture for months, and fought deku and all the heros before being fully assimilated. i think those are impressive accomplishments. I think calling shigaraki is a spoiled brat is a bit of an oversimplification of a homeless orphan raised by a psychopath. these are not excuses. his past is sad and his conclusion to destroy it all makes sense. the story of shigaraki is meant to be a tragedy and i agree he's better off dead at this stage. Saving" him mostly likely will mean putting him out of his misery. Shig isnt good by any measure but i still cant say hes complete evil like AFO AFO hijacking the story makes me hate him more and im ok with that. I think its really difficult to right an Evil character thats not ridiculous. AFO's motivation is simple and his intelligence and ruthless cunning make him intimidating more than his powers. His presence now feels like he stole the story away from everyone and i think thats how it should be. ‘‘

‘’Let me provide some clarifications, I agree with you comment by the way. I always though Deku was the MC because he said something like this is the story about how I becomes a great hero.My Villian Academia was brilliant and a breath of fresh air to see Shigaraki's journey with a very good backstory.

The reason I think Shigaraki is a spoiled brat is referring to AFO being his mentor and handing things down to him, however your point about his accomplishments which are very true, but remember during the first war his body wasn't 100% and AFO was able to take control of his mind in order to break himself out of prison. At some point, I just wanted Shigaraki to go his own way because there were some other people in the fandom that felt he was a spoiled brat too. It's like how long are you going to keep teaming up with this guy who wants to become a "Demon King" before you exit and take the throne for yourself?’’

‘’Everything you said about shiggy is what I've been saying for the longest hes wasted potential . Now hear me out my biggest problem with shiggy was that he hasn't earned ANYTHING. This whole story I could see him as nothing but AFO little puppet. Being handed everything and riding the coattails of other peoples ideologies, weapons and hardwork, stain, overhaul, and redestro.  Like you said if we could've seen shiggy and deku have a few more skirmishes throughout the story with shiggy winning a couple of those and slowly building the league's infamy without AFO influence then I could respect him alot more. Every criticism overhaul hit with was spot on especially the part about not using his allies well. Toga and compress could've been used to sow confusion and misdirection, dabi clearly is offensive fire power, twice could replenish the league's forces or have the clones do the dirty work shiggy has no excuse to have been dirt broke at the beginning of the MVA arc. He had great allies whom never been used to their full potential.

I know people are pissed about AFO being the big bad but that was foreshadowed way back during toga and dabis introduction when the doctor was skeptical of shiggys leadership and AFO said he has what it takes hes the next ME after all. Him and the doctor were always planning for afo to takeover shiggys body as a suitable vessel since all might completely wrecked AFO during their first fight.

If shiggy overcame various hurdles on his own Not relying on heroes to take down overhaul, had various victorys against deku and company by outsmarting them and using his allies to their strengths, and not reduced to squatting before the doctor found him and gave him a goalhe would be much better. And then like you said after the events of the first war we see there a power struggle between shiggy and AFO. Shiggy had overcome AFO'S control thru sheer will devours him in that mental plane afo still survives and shiggy has access to his intelligence and the 2 fight in the real world with shiggy winning and killing. And shiggy takes command of all remaining villains and having access to AFO'S intelligence becomes even more deadly than before.’’

Look, better meta writters have debunked many of your awful takes plus you miss on a whole lot of points if this is your views on Shigaraki by now. I honestly don’t know if i should laugh or be angry and disappointed with you.(in what way was he handed everything????)

ALSO

‘’Honestly Dabi was a missed opportunity. Great build up but the payoff was truly.... meh. It's good that Hori ended the fight quickly. He's not even interesting enough to kill off. ‘‘

‘’It's crazy cuz dabi only great moment in this entire story was his revealing endevours dirty laundry... that's it. Nothing else. Not only was his fight short  but he was the first villain to lose. I would be so pissed if I was a betting man would you honestly believe it if someone told you dabi would go down before toga or spinner?! ‘‘

‘’The fight not only felt forced, but it was anti-climactic as hell. I'm a bit disappointed it wasn't Endeavor and Todoroki fighting Dabi. Of course, Shouto's win has boosted the morale of those on the battlefield who give him props because what would a manga/anime be without an audience watching and fanboying out about each character's badass moment. This second war is falling kind of flat, hopefully Horikoshi has more to offer when Deku reach's the roof.. ahem... Shigaraki. ‘’

Okay genuine question, is this a take that circulates around, like legitimately is this an actual thinking by fans? Because that is so bullshit, is all that matters who is stronger, like seriously does it matter at all? The fight was just beautiful all the way up to the end. F*** it, either this day at noon or the next day i am gonna make a post about this

[8147]

reading hamlet for the first time (act 5: the finale)

masterlist

none of you told me it was going to be this painful . none of you.

a5s1

“Ophelia’s dead.” “Enter CLOWNS!”

Like im sure this has a different meaning in EMA but im gonna make fun of it because it’s fucking hilarious. (future (present? (now past once more (?))) antares coming back to say i did look at nfs and yeah theyre gravediggers)

“First Clown: What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter? Second Clown: The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.” damn not even just this one quote but these are some depressing clowns

hamlet and horatio!

okay there’s something about all of hamlet’s skull talk that makes me uneasy. like, not even the topic, just something in the words and how earnestly and (pardon my pun) gravely hamlet’s speaking about this. and it’s almost a mournful tune, too. it’s a huge difference from his “we’ll all be eaten by the same worms” speech to the point that it’s almost haunting.

“HAMLET: I will speak to this fellow.” C O N F R O N T

“HAMLET: I think it be thine, indeed; for thou liest in't.” (incomprehensible scribbling)

HAMLET, NOT IN ENGLAND: oh yeah lol he was sent to england huh u know why lmao

wait. did the. did the pirate situation get resolved. before act V.

I mean i think hamlet mentioned something about three years but the pirates are so fucking glossed over like what the fuck

“First Clown: 'Twill, a not be seen in him there; there the men are as mad as he.” HOLY SHIT ROAST THEM JFC

“HAMLET: Let me see. (Takes the skull)” THIS IS THE SKULL SCENE! I fucking KNEW it was bullshit that holding the skull was in the to be/not to be speech. I saw it being presented as such like once or twice while reading and I KNEW IT

hm okay so hamlet picks up this guys skull, of someone he used to know, and sure maybe i could ignore the “those lips i have kissed” but then he goes on to mention alexander the great and i mean come on

but jesus like i feel like im not doing justice to the stuff hamlet’s saying. just, the gravity of it all. Its kinda hitting home a bit hard bc like ive had a crippling fear of what happens after death and being forgotten etc since i was like in fourth grade and this is @ing that phobia

like, with that julius ceasar thing. “O that that earth which kept the world in awe / should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw,” it’s so strange. like, every fucking human who has lived, whether they be emperors, murderers, inventors, peasants, or philanthropists- as long as they weren’t blind, they’ve all looked at the same sky. like. It doesnt matter what the fuck you did or didn’t. It’s wild.

“First Priest: No more be done: We should profane the service of the dead To sing a requiem and such rest to her As to peace-parted souls.” hey i get that there are cultural taboos around suicide but like this guy’s a dick it isnt even clear if it was suicide, like, she was so fucking crazy she might not have even known she was, y’know, in a lake or w/e

laertes, dude, my guy. maybe jumping into a grave is cosmic foreshadowing for something you don’t want to happen to you. js.

“HAMLET: [Advancing] What is he whose grief Bears such an emphasis? whose phrase of sorrow Conjures the wandering stars, and makes them stand Like wonder-wounded hearers? This is I, Hamlet the Dane. (Leaps into the grave)” hamlet is NOT one to be out-extra’d (posting-antares here to say, wait, ‘whose phrase of sorrow conjures the stars? is this my aesthetic-speeches-summon-ghosts theory? probably not, but i havent mentioned it for a while)

“LAERTES: The devil take thy soul! (Grappling with him)” IN A FUCKING GRAVE. THEY ARE FIGHTING. IN A GRAVE.

all because hamlet doesn’t want to be out-extra’d. my god.

“QUEEN GERTRUDE: This is mere madness: And thus awhile the fit will work on him; Anon, as patient as the female dove, When that her golden couplets are disclosed, His silence will sit drooping.” Ah yes gertie just talk about the distraught and angry madman as if he isn’t there. that’ll diffuse the situation.

You know what? We still haven’t discussed the pirates.

a5s2

“HAMLET: So much for this, sir: now shall you see the other; You do remember all the circumstance?” If this isn’t gonna be about the pirates im gonna. scream.

“HAMLET: My fears forgetting manners, to unseal Their grand commission; where I found, Horatio,-- O royal knavery!--an exact command, Larded with many several sorts of reasons Importing Denmark's health and England's too, With, ho! such bugs and goblins in my life, That, on the supervise, no leisure bated, No, not to stay the grinding of the axe, My head should be struck off.” god, though. imagine that. being exiled to another country by the person who killed your father, only to find out that they were going to have you killed, anyways. that’s fucking terrifying. jesus christ.

Damn this idea that pretty handwriting is ~beneath~ nobles confuses me so fucking much. I got called haughty once just because my main handwriting is cursive. I mean, they were right, but their evidence was circumstantial at best.

“HAMLET: That, on the view and knowing of these contents, Without debatement further, more or less, He should the bearers put to sudden death, Not shriving-time allow'd.” Hamlet’s Revenge. 

but also, what the fuck, dude. two wrongs dont make a right.

damn i kinda lost myself while reading but it really doesn’t sound like hamlet’s insane anymore. Like he’s… tempered himself. he doesn’t feel insane, just solemn.

“OSRIC: Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark. HAMLET: I humbly thank you, sir. Dost know this water-fly?” goddamn ROAST HIM HAMLET (also what a fucking mood)

Osric put on your fucking ha--

The wind is

The wind is northerly

“HAMLET: No, believe me, 'tis very cold; the wind is northerly.” I remember someone saying that this is important

Okay here: “HAMLET: I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.”

oh no

Osric just wear ur fucking hat u doof

“OSRIC: Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry,--as 'twere,--I cannot tell how. But, my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that he has laid a great wager on your head: sir, this is the matter,-- HAMLET: I beseech you, remember-- (HAMLET moves him to put on his hat)” excuse me a WAGER

but alas all hamlet cares about is osric’s fucking hat

“HAMLET: What's his weapon? OSRIC: Rapier and dagger. HAMLET: That's two of his weapons: but, well.” hamlet u sarcastic little shit i love you

I mean so is horatio. I love him too.

This stuff with the competition is. not gonna end well. not at well.

“HAMLET: I do not think so: since he went into France, I have been in continual practise: I shall win at the odds. But thou wouldst not think how ill all's here about my heart: but it is no matter.”

hamlet no. listen to your heart or whatever. jesus christ don’t do it.

“HORATIO: Nay, good my lord,--” HAMLET LISTEN TO HORATIO

Ohhh hamlet

okay reading what laertes said, you know what? i’m giving laertes one last chance. please do not prove me a fool, laertes. 

everything is giving me mad anxiety. e v e r y t h i n g.

claud’s speech is insanely sketchy

“KING CLAUDIUS: [Aside] It is the poison'd cup: it is too late.” One, so that’s why it was sketchy. Two, the POISONED CUP?

IT’S TOO LATE?

Gertie’s. Dead.

Shit, shit, shit

“LAERTES: [Aside] And yet 'tis almost 'gainst my conscience.” YES! SO PLEASE! STOP FIGHTING!

“LAERTES wounds HAMLET; then in scuffling, they change rapiers, and HAMLET wounds LAERTES.” Oh no oh no oh jeez eheu they’re hurting each other, shit, fuck,

“LAERTES: ...woodcock…”

“KING CLAUDIUS: She swounds to see them bleed. QUEEN GERTRUDE: No, no, the drink, the drink,--O my dear Hamlet,-- The drink, the drink! I am poison'd. (Dies)” one, i love how claud is desperatley trying to stick to the plan, its almost adorable in a childish sort of way. two, oh god. ohhh god. gertie. 

Oh no. 

this is the bloodbath. THIS IS THE BLOODBATH.

BODY COUNT: 1

“HAMLET: The point!--envenom'd too! Then, venom, to thy work. (Stabs KING CLAUDIUS)” ...

BODY COUNT: 2

wait and hamlet’s on death row, as with laertes. Oh no.

“LAERTES: He is justly served; It is a poison temper'd by himself. Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet: Mine and my father's death come not upon thee, Nor thine on me. (Dies)’ oh my god already??? I haven’t even really accepted king claud’s death?? jesus christ??

My friend just sorta nudged me and asked if i was alright and i. I’m not. i’m in shock. goddamn. what?

BODY COUNT: 3

goodness thats three in like less than thirty seconds JESUS CHRIST

“HAMLET: Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee.I am dead, Horatio.” that’s chilling. just, the poignancy. that’s so fucking spectral. i’m not okay.

“HORATIO: Never believe it: I am more an antique Roman than a Dane: Here's yet some liquor left.” No no no on no nononon NO NO oh my god are you going to-

“HAMLET: As thou'rt a man, Give me the cup: let go; by heaven, I'll have't. … If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart Absent thee from felicity awhile, And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain, To tell my story.” hey i’m crying in study hall. i’m actually crying. what the fuck. I don’t cry unless i’m thinking about that one pair of 18th century shoes with the really good photo quality (transcribing-antares here. I fucking love those shoes. I’m looking at them right now and they’re so fucking beautiful. they look how velvet feels, which is odd, bc they're apparently silk. I don’t care they’re just so fucking lovely)

F O R T I N B R A S?

“HAMLET: O, I die, Horatio; The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit.” I’ve identified my emotion. Dread. pure, unadulterated Dread.

for all of you that’ve listened to the penumbra podcast: do you remember the concierge, right before final resting place, saying “you do realize you can just like, leave, and everything will be hunky dory and you won’t have to deal with the emotional consequences this episode will bring you” because i’m seriously considering doing that right now.

“HAMLET: The rest is silence. (Dies)” shit. (posting-antares here to say that i forgot to do the body count but honestly im crying while formating because of this goddamn fucking 400 year old play)

“HORATIO: Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince…” oh god. horatio.

“Good night sweet prince…”

(yet again tis transcribing-antares here to say that im fucking sobbing right now, the shoes are no match for this, and ‘goodnight sweet prince’ is actually never going to leave my head.) (editing-antares here to say im fucking crying again god fucking damn it) (posting-antares back again saying that this fucking line. this line. my god.)

“HORATIO: What is it ye would see? If aught of woe or wonder, cease your search.” oh, horatio. god. that isn’t something said without tears staining your skin and a bitter tone hard-won, not that its possession is a victory.

oh my god. this can’t. no. this can’t end like this. What. no. people must have rioted. No. no!!

i typically hate it but i would GLADLY accept a deus ex machina right about now!!

okay my friend just took my phone away from me and shut it off because i kept on trying to scroll past the end

jesus christ

okay so i’m not going to be okay for like, several eternities, so im going to play the sims until i. until i die, probably. my god.

masterlist

[magmasliveblogs]

1.02 R

hey im back! looks like more ryoka! to recap: last chapter erin had a party of goblins, antinium, relc, and olesm! it went well 

The Ruins of Albez sits at the heart of what had once been a magical kingdom. Or perhaps a community of mages. Or an ancient citadel of—you know what? It doesn’t matter.

The entire area is saturated in magic, and as such, attracts two kinds of visitors. Monsters, seeking to make their lairs among the ruined buildings and endless underground tunnels in the area, and adventurers, seeking lost treasure in the same spots. Naturally, conflicts ensue.

The adventuring group currently occupying the ruins is known as the Horns of Hammerad, notable for their relatively high average level – most members are above level 20 – and their leader, a Minotaur [Fighter]* who wields an enormous battleaxe in combat.

*I still don’t get classes. Apparently, [Fighter] is a general class, although some call it [Warrior] depending on the culture. Does that mean they have the same skills? Either way, it’s the first class most warriors take, but if this Minotaur guy were higher-level he’d be an [Axemaster] or [Knight]. Huh.

he probably wouldnt be a knight, but yes warriors and fighters are the same class basically 

The general consensus is that they’re quite competent in combat, and they’d received official permission to search the ruins for the duration of the week. That means that while the Horns are in the ruins, other adventuring groups can’t interfere or look for treasure. It was an arrangement that allowed the nearby cities to reap a profit for charging access and prevented conflicts between their adventurers.

All well and good, and normally the Horns would have expected a moderate payout at the very least. They were well equipped, and prepared for anything.

Which was why the sight of their disorganized party fighting and retreating across the ruins is even more alarming. Their leader was down by a large building, a huge spike of ice piercing his midsection. The other warriors and mages – the Horns of Hammerad was a large party twelve members strong – were either hunkered down or exchanging shots with the monster that had cornered them.

Even as I watch, an armored warrior deflects a sword strike from one of the skeletons attacking their group and smashes it with a mace. The skeleton falls to the ground, lifeless. But that’s attracted the attention of the leader of the undead, and a huge blast of fire engulfs the area.

I wince as the armored warrior runs out of the blaze screaming in agony. He rolls on the ground as a mage with a staff shoots a few magic bolts of rippling light to attract attention away from him. Two other adventurers rush forth and drag the burnt warrior into cover as a hail of ice spikes nearly pincushions all three.

Well, crap. That’s the fifth member of the Horns down. I was hoping they’d sway the battle, but at this rate they’ll  be wiped out. No help for it.

I take two deep breaths, and then stretch my legs out. Right leg? Check. Left leg? Stretching…check. Okay.

I peek over the piece of rubble I’m hiding behind. Clear. Okay. Here we go—

I vault the rubble and dash down the slope. From where I am, there’s a moderate incline down into the heart of the ruins, where fallen buildings and rubble make for treacherous ground. But what’s worse is the danger of being killed by the monster fifty feet in front of me.

I charge down the hill towards it. The robed figure notices me as I’m halfway there and turns. Two glowing blue points of light in its eyes shift towards me as I sprint directly at it. It’s a Lich*, an undead skeletal mage.

*I personally have problems with calling it a Lich. Apparently, unlike in games and stories, Liches are rather common. They’re more like an undead type rather than unique and rare examples of mages living forever. They’re not even that deadly. Well, they’re very deadly, but even scarier types of undead exist apparently.

curse you ryoka your asterisks are doing my job for me! 

For a second I don’t think it even knows what it’s seeing. A lone human running straight at it without a weapon? It hesitates, but then raises a finger. This would be the part where I die in its theory. In mine? I think I survive.

If it seems stupid to charge at a monster capable of blasting me to bits with a single spell, well, it probably was. But I had a good reason for doing it. Over the last thirty minutes I’d scoped out the Lich’s battle against the group of adventurers and picked out a few important details about how it acted. I had three good reasons for my plan of action.

Reason A: I’d noticed that the Lich could cast several spells, from a miniaturized lightning bolt, a fireball, and those nasty showers of ice spikes. Of the three, I really only had to worry about the fireball and the ice spikes. The lightning looked dangerous, but it grounded itself too easily. Since I’m not wearing any metal, it was far harder for the Lich to hit me.

As for the fireballs and ice spikes, well, they were slower and the Lich had to point first. Its aim also wasn’t the greatest in the world. It was a risk, but so long as I didn’t get cooked when the fireball exploded I had a shot.

Also, Reason B: was that I’d noticed the Lich tended to defend itself with a barrier of bones it summoned from the ground whenever anything got close. That stopped it from casting spells for a few seconds.

And Reason C: I was bored.

The Lich pointed at me and cackled something that made my ears hurt. I dove and rolled and felt my right side go slightly numb. It felt like the worst static electricity shock I’d ever felt times a hundred, but that meant the lightning had missed me. And I was still alive.

Hit the ground, roll onto my feet and run. I closed on the Lich and it raised a protective hand. As I expected, a wall of bones erupted from the ground in front of me, a grotesque puzzle of interlocked bones and skulls solid as rock*.

*Seriously. How the hell does it do that? Are there that many bones in the ground? Or is it just magic?

Now’s my chance. I immediately veer left and accelerate towards where the adventurers are. The Lich makes a crackling noise as it realizes it’s been duped. It tries to lower the bone barrier, but it’s too late.

Run. Run faster. Dodge behind the pillar. Pause. Go left. Move right. Fireball! Close. Now—sprint left as fast as possible.

In one of my many safety seminars my dad made me attend after every mass shooting, they taught us what to do if a gunman ever opened fire and we had to escape. Some of it was common sense stuff like don’t scream or do something stupid and think before moving. But I did remember one important tip.

When someone’s firing at you, don’t run in a straight line to get away. Zig zag, make it hard for them to get a bead on you. And in my case, duck behind rubble and place as many obstacles between me and the Lich as possible.

I run, and I run as fast as I can. The instant I slow, I’m dead. The air around me is static; fire explodes around me and flying ice threatens to pierce my skin.

You can’t tell, and I don’t have a mirror. But I’m pretty sure I’m grinning.

a thrill seeker isnt she 

“Status?”

Calruz, leader of the Horns of Hammerad, grunted at the other warrior as the two hid behind one of the fallen walls in the ruins. The human, his second-in-command glanced down at him and shakes his head grimly.

“I think Terr got hit by a fireball. Coblat and Grimsore dragged him away, but he’s down for the count as well.”

“Damn.”

The Minotaur hit his thigh and winced. The huge spear of ice protruding out of his midriff oozed more dark blood and he sat back against the wall and breathed out. The tendons on his neck strained and sweat stood out on his brow despite the freezing cold.

“What about our mages? Why the hell aren’t they taking this thing out?”

“They’re trying, but whenever they fire at that monster it just raises a shield. It’s got more mana than all of our casters combined. We need to get in close if we want a chance.”

“Fat chance of that happening with all those skeletons and zombies guarding it.”

“I think Terr got rid of the last of them, but we still can’t get close. It’s too flaming quick.”

The vice-captain of the Horns of Hammerad chanced a peek around the wall he was hiding behind. There didn’t seem to be any more fireballs coming his way at the moment, which was good and also worrying. Had the Lich turned its attention elsewhere? Doubtful. But then why—

His jaw dropped.

“Who is that?”

Calruz grunted and tried to twist his head, but felt back weakly.

“Who? What’s happening?”

“It’s a Runner! She just charged down the hill at the Lich! She’s coming this way!”

“You’re kidding. She’ll never make it.”

“She’s doing it.”

The vice-captain watched as the long-legged runner dashed across the broken landscape. She was leaping over pieces of rubble and running in a serpentine motion while fireballs and shards of ice rained down around her. From this distance, all he could see was her raven-black hair and tanned skin, but the vice-captain was sure he’d never seen this particular runner before.

this is a bad situation, i can see why they need a delivery 

She had odd features, which would have told him she was part-Japanese, or at least Asian if those words had meant anything to him. But it didn’t, and the vice-captain watched with tense anxiety as she dashed closer. Any second he expected her to be blown away by an on-target fireball or be seared by a lightning blast. But she didn’t. And then she was right on top of him.

Ryoka nearly tumbled into the large warrior with a sword and shield. She knocked into him and felt cool metal before she stumbled back. He pulled her into cover as icicle shards crashed against the rubble.

It took her two deep breaths of air before she could speak. Ryoka unslung her pack and nodded at the gaping vice-captain.

“Delivery.”

“Holy gods!”

inconsistency! the actual phrase is “dead gods”. yes, the gods are dead. apparently they fought a war with the fae and didnt survive. dont question it

The vice-captain stared at Ryoka. He gestured to her, the ruins, and then waves his gauntleted hands a bit.

“That was the most amazing sight I’ve ever—you just ran right past that Lich! Are you insane? Or crazy?”

“I’m a Runner. I’ve got a delivery for the leader of the Horns of Hammerad. That you?”

“That’s me.”

Ryoka glanced down at the Minotaur. He nodded to her as more sweat dripped from his brow.

“I really hope you’ve got our delivery, girl.”

She paused at the word girl, but nodded. She opened her pack and placed heavily-wrapped bottles down on the ground in front of the Minotaur.

“Fifteen healing potions, five mana potions. All unbroken. Delivery to Horns of Hammerad. Your seal?”

“Seal? Oh, of course!”

The vice-captain fumbled at his belt pouch and pulled out a silver and copper token. It was a unique seal with a hammer standing on a mountain embossed on one side.

“Thanks.”

Ryoka stowed the seal securely in her waist pouch and then peeked around the wall. The Lich was exchanging fireballs with another mage wearing a red wizard’s hat. She nodded to herself and lowered into a sprinter’s crouch.

“Wait—are you going?”

Ryoka didn’t glance at the vice-captain as she tried to judge when would be the best moment.

“Yep.”

“You can’t! I mean, that’s even crazier!”

The vice-captain stared at Ryoka in consternation, and then looked at his leader for support. Calruz was trying to open one of the bottles. He grunted as he pulled the cork out of one of the bottles and downed the thick, syrupy green liquid.

“Let her go if she wants. Runner—thanks for the assistance. Not many of your lot would do this.”

She paused.

“No problem.”

He nodded to her. She nodded back.

“At least let us reassemble and give you a diversion. Once we get these potions to all our members we can finally bring this guy down.”

Ryoka thought about it.

“That’ll take too long. You want an opening? I’ll give you one. I’ve got more deliveries to make.”

The vice-captain tore at what hair he could reach underneath his helmet.

“He’ll blast you the instant you leave cover!”

She grinned at the vice-captain, breaking her expressionless mask.

“He can try.”

ryoka seems a bit hot headed now 

The adventuring party, Horns of Hammerad, watched the Runner break out of the ruins and sprint away even as the Lich fired a final parting bolt of lightning in her direction. He missed.

“She did it. She actually did it.”

“She told you.”

Calruz grinned, and grimaced as the icicle in his chest shifted. He took a deep breath and cracked the ice with one massive forearm to let the rest of it slide out of his stomach. Even as he did, the magical powers of the healing potion he’d downed began to knit the flesh of his stomach closed.

“Is that a new Runner? She must be. I haven’t ever seen her before, and I think I would have remembered hearing about one as crazy as that.”

“She looks different, for a human. Although you lot all look alike to me.”

“She is different. From another continent, maybe?”

“Maybe. Did everyone get the potions?”

“I tossed them over while she was drawing the Lich’s attention. They should be good. You need another?”

“I’m fine. Better than fine, actually, thanks to that Runner.”

Calruz grinned and shattered the potion bottle in his gauntleted fist. He stood up, the flow of blood already slowing. He hefted his battleaxe.

“I’d like to buy her a drink. But right now we’ve got a contract to fulfill. Everyone ready?”

The magic linking him to the rest of his adventuring party let him hear their acknowledgement. The Minotaur grinned.

“Alright, then. Let’s see how this Lich likes fighting us when we’re at full strength. Charge!”

As one, the Horns of Hammerad abandoned their position in the ruins and began a full-scale assault on the Lich and the remaining undead.

ryoka does have an out if they question her on where she is from! there is a string of islands known as drath. these islands are never actually gone to but they are basically japanese 

After she’d run ten miles away from the Ruins, Ryoka finally stops to catch her breath. Her lungs are burning, and her legs feel like jelly. The adrenaline is finally draining out of her, and she feels exhausted, despite only having run for a few minutes.

She can still feel tingling in her legs from the lightning bolts missing her skin. Her left arm is singed, and she feels blisters already forming on her skin.

She nearly died. Ryoka knows this, and her legs tremble. She still feels cold as she remembers gazing into the hollow eyes of the Lich. He was a monster capable of wiping her out with a single spell.

She nearly died. Had she been a second slower or dodged a foot to the left, she wouldhave died. Ryoka knows this.

Her lips twitch. She smiles briefly.

“Fun.”

yep ryoka is a thrill seeker 

“You completed the supply request for the Horns of Hammerad?”

“Yep.”

The receptionist stares at me. I shrug. What does she want me to say?

It’s later. Or rather, it’s only thirty minutes later, but I feel like I’m in a different world. The worn-down room of the Runner’s Guild is a far cry from the grassy plains, or the rubble and destruction of the Ruins of Albez.

“That’s incredible. Are they already finished fighting? The mage communication we got said they were fighting a Lich and a horde of the undead.”

“They’re still fighting. The Lich is still around. Not sure about the other undead. Looked like they were mostly dead.”

The receptionist doesn’t smile. Didn’t she get the joke? Darn. She’s still giving me that ‘I-don’t-believe-you’ look. I hand her the Seal.

“Here’s the Seal from the Horns of Hammerad.”

She checks it over, and then double-checks. Her eyebrows rise.

“It’s real. So you’re telling me you delivered the supplies in the middle of the battle?”

Why is she making a big fuss? I thought that’s what all Runners did on this kind of mission.

“Yup.”

“Incredible.”

I’m silent. I mean, what am I supposed to say to that? ‘Oh, yeah, I’m really amazing, now give me my money?’

After a few moments the receptionist finally shakes herself.

“Well, this is all in order. Would you like the payment now or…?”

“Later.”

I can collect my pay whenever, but most Runners do it in one lump sum at the end of the week. It’s more convenient that way, since we have to sign to confirm we’ve been paid and the receptionist has to validate it.

“Well, I think you’ve earned your break. Unless—do you think you could do another delivery? I wouldn’t ask, but you’re the only City Runner here right now.”

I’m tired, but that’s only because of my adrenaline low. I know my legs have got at least another good run in them, so I nod.

“Where to?”

“Celum. It’s another request from Lady Magnolia. Another Runner just brought it from Remendia, but he’s too tired to keep going. It’s been passed from six Runners so far, and we need to get it to Magnolia within the hour if possible.”

Okay. Now that’s tricky. I hesitate.

It’s not that I don’t think I can do it in time. I can get to Celum in less than an hour even with something heavy on my back. But I’d done another run for Magnolia – delivering a big fancy vase – a few days ago. By the ‘unwritten rules’ that meant I should wait for at least another week before I took the request.

Damn. Damnation. Drat. What should I do? This is the exact kind of situation I hate.

“There aren’t any other City Runners around?”

The receptionist shakes her head.

“They’re all out on deliveries, and I don’t want to wait longer than I have to. I was about to ask one of the Street Runners to do the delivery, but that would have been a problem too.”

Well, in that case…why not? The Magnolia rule can go to hell for all I care.

“I’ll do it.”

The receptionist smiles in relief.

“Thank y—”

“Hold on!”

The receptionist’s head turns. My head doesn’t. I’m taking this moment to say a few choice words in my head*.

*Oh, please no. Not that stupid, inbred rodent girl. No one in the world has a voice more high-pitched and annoying that her and her moronic cronies. I’d rather go back and dance naked in front of the Lich than deal with this.

look i try to enjoy this series in its worse times, ie: the first volume. this character that is about to be introduced is basically that one extremely annoying girl who leads a clich and i am frankly going to skip this dialogue because i dont enjoy reading her. i dont enjoy doing this, and it cuts out a good 3rd of the chapter, but frankly perusa is a character that is meant to be hated 

This time it’s the head maid who opens the door. She sniffs down at me.

I nod at her. I’m out of breath, tired, and my back is really, really cold. But I feel great, because I made it here in just forty minutes. That’s almost a record, and it’s at least twice as fast as Persua’s best time.

“Delivery for Magnolia.”

“That’s Lady Magnolia.”

Now here’s someone whose looks can really kill. I shrug and take off my pack.

“Seal?”

“Wait.”

The head maid closes the door on me as I wrestle with my damp delivery. Well, looks like I won’t be talking to Magnolia today. That’s actually a relief. I don’t mind the bubbly, excitable noblewoman, but I actually prefer the maids. They might be abrupt and rude, but that means less talking.

Okay, icy package is in my hands. I wait as patiently as I can outside the door, and then hear a muffled conversation. It sounds like someone arguing, and then I hear a familiar energetic voice.

“Nonsense! Ressa, how could you—of course I insist you let her in! Dirty feet or not!”

The door opens and a familiar woman greets me. How can one woman’s hair stay that curly? I’m fairly certain they don’t have hair curlers in this day and age, but Magnolia’s blonde locks look as stylized as any I’ve seen from my world.

“Please, allow me to apologize for my servant’s rudeness. Come in, please!”

I hesitate, and the maid—Ressa—standing behind Magnolia looks unhappy.

“I can just deliver the package if you have the seal—”

“Oh, I won’t hear of it! Come in!”

Ressa makes a face, and I try not to. Reluctantly, I walk into the foyer of Lady Magnolia’s mansion and wish there was a rug to wipe my feet on. Magnolia beams at me while Ressa perfects her death-glare behind her back. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want my dirty feet walking all over the marble floor. I’d prefer not to be here too, but the delivery isn’t done until I get the seal.

“This way, please. You can put it in the drawing room. No, not the secondary one, Ressa. The main one!”

She leads me into a carpeted room. Again, I hesitate, but there’s no helping it. The rug is very soft, and my feet are very dirty, but Magnolia doesn’t care. She peers excitedly at the metal container burning my hands with frost and dripping onto the carpet and beams at me.

“Oh my, that was quick! I was told this would be travelling the entire way from the port city of Hazenbrad! Did you bring it here yourself?”

“No. Other runners brought it most of the way.”

“Well, you and your people have certainly done me quite a service! Thank you!”

Magnolia presents me with her silver-sapphire seal.

“It’s Ryoko, isn’t it? It’s rare that I see the same Runner in so many days.”

Ryoka. But I’m used to people mispronouncing the name. I take the seal and slip it into my pouch. Right, now how to get out of this place tactfully?

“I’ve got to go. More deliveries.”

Actually, I don’t have any more, and I’m tired. But I’d rather go to sleep now, and deal with annoying jealous Runners tomorrow.

Magnolia’s face falls.

“Oh, but won’t you stay? I’d love to share this delightful treat with you—and you’ve run so far and so quickly too! When I heard a runner was setting out from Wales* I was sure it would take at least an hour for you to get here!”

*Yeah, that’s the city I left. Wales. It’s odd that it has the same name as a country from my world, but then again…it’s not. There’s only so many words in the English language, after all.

this is a unique feature in the innverse, as no other place i can think of shares a name with anywhere on earth 

“Mm.”

Again, what do you say to something like that? ‘Yeah, I’m awesome, now give me more money?’ This is why I hate talking to people.

“Besides which, I was never able to talk properly with you both times before now. I truly would love to converse with you—and ask about your peculiar choice of footwear, or should I say, its lack! Won’t you stay for a while?”

Magnolia entreats me with her eyes, and Ressa the maid gives me a look that says I should do whatever she wants and stop sweating and getting the carpets dirty while I’m at it.

I hesitate. But—I’m tired and I don’t feel like talking. Like always. True, Magnolia is better than Persua any day of the week, but her enthusiasm makes me feel tired. So I edge towards the door.

“I’m sorry, but I really should go. I’m very busy.”

Magnolia smiles at me.

“Are you that eager to be away? You may simply tell me if you don’t wish to converse.”

I jump* and stare at her. Magnolia smiles.

*Well, not literally.

“Really my dear. It’s written all over your face. But besides that, I am a [Lady], and most of us learn [Sense Intentions] quite early. And I am quite high-level at that. So, therefore, sit.”

I sit. I don’t even think about it. She spoke, and I—okay, that was something else.

“I would like to talk with you. It is rare that I meet a young lady as interesting as yourself.”

Try to stand up. No? Okay legs, I’m your boss. Stand. Stand.

Magnolia gestures to the chair I’m trapped in.

“Please sit here. I would like to share this delivery you’ve worked so hard to bring me.”

I’m still struggling with my unresponsive body. Magnolia gives me another smile and addresses her hovering maid.

“Ressa? Please be so kind as to open up the delivery? And I believe we will need two bowls and silverware. I would like the blue porcelain today.”

“Very good, milady.”

Ressa gives me a silent, warning look. Probably to tell me to behave, and disappears out the door. She’s probably going for reinforcement maids. And that leaves me with Magnolia.

The larger woman gives me another charming smile. For the first time I eye her, and not just as a rich, silly lady. Sure, she looks like something of a stereotype with her bright clothing and expensive jewelry and unambiguously good-natured personality, but what the hell did she do to me? Is that a skill?

“I do hope you like sweet things, Miss Ryoka. Forgive my rudeness, but I simply find that sometimes it’s best to pin people down and get to know them, don’t you?”

“Mm.”

“I’m so glad you agree!”

Now, that. That sounded a bit like sarcasm. Well, well. Looks like Magnolia has layers. Or her petticoat does. Looks like I’ve underestimated her.

“Well, continue sitting there for a moment. I simply must try this delight, although I fear it’s rather ruining the carpet. Ah, well, it was due for a change.”

Magnolia bustles out of the room. I try to run for it, but my legs are still unresponsive. Well, damn. She’s got some power. It might be worth talking with her after all.

Magnolia. What an aggressive, pushy lady.

I think I like her.

you may note that pink word, sit. pink is somewhat of a theme with her. 

Lady Magnolia fussed around the drawing room, and her maids fussed after her. She was busy overseeing the opening of a large metal cask, the contents of which had been surrounded in ice.

Ryoka sat in front of one ornately wrought table, conscious of her dirty feet on the rug. It might not have been Persian, but that was only because Persia didn’t exist in this world. It was certainly expensive, and it was certainly getting dirty the longer her feet were on it.

Occasionally, Ryoka’s legs would tense, but she remained sitting, much to her vexation.

“And here we are!”

Magnolia clapped her hands together in delight. Ryoka glanced up as the two latches on the metal canister were undone and icy vapor escaped. She had no idea what she’d brought, and so it was with interest that she saw a maid carefully scoop something out of the canister.

It was…white, wet-looking, with a few dark flecks mixed in the creamy color. Magnolia’s eye sparkled as another scoop was transferred to a blue and white porcelain bowl. Even the maids looked covetously at the soft cream.

To be specific, the soft ice cream.

Ryoka stared.

Magnolia gestured towards her guest, and the maid hesitated before setting the bowl down in front of Ryoka. The young woman stared silently at the gold filigree on the spoon she was handed. She stared down at the ice cream.

“Now, this is quite a treat.”

One of the maids pulled a chair out for Lady Magnolia and the noblewoman sat across from Ryoka. She accepted another bowl and smiled at Ryoka.

“Don’t be afraid. This is in fact a very rare delicacy I had imported. It’s quite, quiteexpensive, but once you try it, I think you’ll agree it’s worth the cost.”

Ryoka hesitated. She wasn’t sure if she should eat first, but Magnolia waved one hand at her.

“Oh, go on. What kind of host would I be if I did not allow you the first bite? I must warn you though—it’s quite cold!”

Ryoka hesitated, but Lady Magnolia was staring at her with earnest expectation. That was in sharp contrast to the maids behind her, who were all giving Ryoka the glare of death. She had the distinct impression refusing would not end well for her.

Prompted by the all the eyes on her, Ryoka slowly took a bite. Her expression didn’t change one iota. Lady Magnolia blinked. The maids would have muttered, but their training kept their faces carefully neutral.

“Huh. Ice cream.”

Ryoka paused and cursed inwardly. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Again, Magnolia blinked at her and her mouth fell open delicately.

“My. You know what this is?”

“…No?”

“My dear, remember what I said about my skills? I know you’re lying. But how can that be? I would swear that this delight hasn’t been invented but for a week! I just heard it had been created by a master [Chef] in the northern continent. But you’ve had some before, haven’t you?”

She could tell the truth, or she could lie and reveal the truth. Ryoka shrugged.

“Yeah.”

The maids murmured. Magnolia sighed, and tasted the ice cream herself.

“Delicious. Oh, but pardon me. I couldn’t help myself. Well, this is one surprise that quite trumps my surprise! I must say, I’m rather put out and delighted that you know this treat. What did you call it? ‘Ice cream’?”

“Is it called something else around here?”

“I believe it was referred to as ‘gelato’, or some such. But I rather like your name! It certainly is quite reminiscent of cream, isn’t it? But the coldness—and of course the sweetness is incomparable!”

“Mhm.”

“Well, now you simply must tell me how you know of this treat.”

“Uh, it’s common in my home country.”

Magnolia raised her delicate eyebrows.

“Common? Sure you—but you are telling the truth. How curious.”

Ryoka shifted in her seat. This was bad. She felt like her mind was being read. Well, even if it were just her intentions and whether or not she was telling the truth, there were enough landmines in the conversation to fill a battlefield. She had to shift the conversation.

Gingerly, she took another bite. The ice cream wasn’t actually as sweet as the one from her world, but it was hauntingly familiar. She pointed to the melting canister.

“Uh, how much did this cost?”

That wasn’t an appropriate question, to judge by the glares she got from the maids. But Magnolia seemed to take the question in stride.

“Well, I hate to bring up such issues in polite conversation, but this little treat cost seventy gold coins, not including the cost of shipping it across the sea and rushing it all the way here.”

Ryoka choked on her bite of ice cream and nearly bit the spoon in half. Magnolia waved a hand at her.

“Oh, please. I know it’s a lot, but for a treat like this? Very worthwhile.”

Silently, Ryoka stared at the canister of ice cream. It was probably, when all was said and done, the size of a tub of ice cream she could have bought for three dollars in any supermarket in her world.

Oblivious to her inner thoughts, Magnolia smiled again at Ryoka as she delicately spooned more ice cream into her mouth.

“I fear we must eat quickly before our ‘ice cream’ melts. But I’m sure we could chat over tea as well. And then you can tell me about how you know of this ice cream, and where you come from. I must say, your features are quite striking.”

Ryoka’s expression didn’t change, but Magnolia’s eyes flickered.

“Well, if you don’t prefer to say I quite understand. But I would like to chat.”

This was hard. Ryoka frowned at her mostly melted ice cream and thought carefully. Then she looked up. Magnolia’s smile grew even wider.

“Oh? I know it’s terribly rude to point out what you’re thinking, but that was quite the inspiration you just had.”

“Yeah. I was just thinking about the ice cream.”

“Would you like another scoop?”

“No. But I do know a lot about it.”

Magnolia leaned forwards in excitement. Ryoka looked down her bosom and felt like she understood part of the attraction of visiting Magnolia. At least, the attraction for the male City Runners.

“Really? I’m afraid I wasn’t able to learn anything about what creature produces such a delightful treat. Do you know where it comes from?”

“Better. I know how to make it.”

oh this will be interesting. tomorrow. because frankly my internet isnt cooperating 

thats the end! will the horns remember this apparently unusually brave delivery? will persua keep appearing in person and forcing me to cut out portions of each chapter? 

see you next post 

[mariopennis]

bee movie script but crytyped

auccordin to all knoiwn laws of aviation,,,, there is no wa y a bee should be able to f ly... its wings are too sm all to get its fat liuttle body OFF the ground...... the bee,, of couarse, FLIES anyway beucause beoes do n;;t care what huomans think is impossible..... yellow, black.... yellow,,,, blaccckkk.... yellow,,, black...... yellow,,,, black...... ooh, black and yellow!!!!!! let;s shake it up a LITTLE. barry!!!! breakfastt is read y!!! oo miung!!!! hang on a second.. hello??? - barry???? - adam???? - oannn u believe this is happening????? - i can;;t.... illl pick u up.... lookin sharrrp.... use the s tairs... your father paid good money for those... sorry..... i;m excited.. heres the graduate.... we;;re very proud of you, son.... a perfecttt report ccard,,,, aull b;s.... very proud...... ma!! i got a thin goin here.... - u got lint on your fuzz...... - ow!!!!! tthat;s me!!!!! - wave to us!!!!! we;;ll BE in rowww 118,,,000.... - bbbye!!!! barry, i told you,, stop flyin in the houuse!!! - hey,,,, adam.. - hey,,,, b arry.... - is thhat fuuzz gel????? - a litt le..... special day,, graduatioan..... never though t i;;;dd make it.... three d ayss g rade school,, three days high school.... those were awkward.... th reee days college.... i;m glad i t ook a day annnd hitch hike d arouand the HIVE. u did comeo back different..... - hi,, barry..... - artie,, growin a mustache???? looks good.. - hear aobout frankie???? - yeah.... - u goin to the funeral???? - NO, i;m nnot going... everybody knnnows,, stin someone, u diea.... dont waste it oon a squiurrel..... succch a hothead.... i guess he could have just gotten out of the way.... i love this incorporating an amusemen t park inntto our day.. that;;;s why we dont need vacations... boy,, quite a bit of pomp............ undeor THE circumstances... - well,,, adam, todauy we are mmmen...... - we are!!!!!! - bee-men...... - amen!!!!! hhallel ujah!!!! students,,,, faculty,, diustinguished bees,,,, pls welcome dean buzzwell...... welcome,, new hive oity graduatin class of......... ..........9:15.... th at conncludees ourr cere moniesss...... and begins your career at honex industries!!!!! wil l we piack ourjobb toda y???? i heard it;s just orientation... heiads up!!!! here wwwe go.... keep your hands anddd antennas inside the tram at all times... - wonder what it; ll be like??? - a littlle sscary.. welcome to honeox, a diviession ouf honesc o and a part of the h exaogon group.... tthis is it!!!! wow.. wow.... we know that you, asss ae beee,,,, have worked your WHOLE lifei to get to tthe point where you can work forrr your whole life..... honey begins when our valiant pollen jocks brin the nectar to the hive... our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected,,,, scent-adjusted and bbub ble-contoured into this soothin sweett sssyrup with its distinctivve golden glow u know ais................. honey!!!! - that gierl was hot.... - she;;;s my cousin!!!!!! - she ii s?????? - yes,,, weo;;re all cousins.... - riught..... you;;;re right.... - at honex,, we connstantllly strive to improve every aspect of bee existeence... ttthese bbee s are stress-testing a new helmet technology.... - whaet do u think he makes????? - not enough.... here wea have our latest aedvancement,, t he krelman..... - what does that do????? - oatc hes that littlea strand of honey that hangs after u poiur it..... saves us mmmillions...... oan anyonea work onn the krelman???? of course... moost beee jobs are small ones.... but bees KNOW thaat every small job, if its done well,, means a lot... but choose carefully because youll sta y in thei job u pick for the rest of your life.... the same job the rest of your life?? i didnnn;;t knnnow that.... what;;s the differeence???? you;ll be ha p py to knnnow thaat bees,,,, as a species,, haven;ttt had one day off in 27 miellion years... so youll just work us to death???? we;ll sure try... wow!!! that blew my mind!!!! "what;s the differrence???" how can u say that???? one job foreuver???? that;;s an insane choice to haiv e to make...... i;;m rellieevved.... now we only have t o make one DECISION in life..... but,,, adam, how could thhhey neaver ha ve TOLD us that?? why would u question anything???? we;;ree bees.... we;;;re the most perfectly functioenin society on earth..... u ever thinnnk maybe things w ork a little too wellll here???? like what????? give me one example.. idk... but u know wha t im talkin about..... pls c lear THE gate.... royal NECTAR force on approach.... wait a SECOND. oheck it out... - hey,, those are po llen jocks!!!! - wow.... i;;ve never SEEN them this closeo.... they know what it;s like outside the hive.. yeah,,,, but some doant come back..... - hey,, jocks!!! - hi,,,, jocks!!!! u guys did great!!!! yo u;;ree monsters!!!!! you;re sky freaks!!!! i love IT! i love it!!!!!! - i wonddeur wherea theuy were... - idk.... their days not planned...... outside the hive,, flyin who knows wherrre,, doin who knows what.. u ca n;;tjjust decide to be a pollen joccck.... u have too be bred for that.... right.... look.. thats more pol len tha n u and i will see in a l ifetimmme... it;;ss just a staotus symbol.... bees MAKE toeo much of it.. perhaps... unless YOU'RE wearin it an d the laedies see u wearin it..... thoase ladies???? aren;;;t they our cousins too???? distant..... diustant...... look at these two..... - oouple of hieve harrys..... - lets have fun with THEM. it must be dangerrous bein ao pollennn joack..... yeah.... oonce a bear piinn ed me again st a mmushroo m!!!! he had a paw on my throat,,,, and with the other,, he was slappin me!! - ooh, my!!!!! - i NEVER thhhought iddd knock him out.. what were u doin durin this????? tryin to al ert the authorities.... i can autogrrap h that..... a little gusty out there today,,,, was n;;t it,,,, comraides????? yeah... gusty... we;;r e hiottin a SUNFLOWER patch six miles ffrom here tomorrrow...... - six mioles, huh????? - barry!!!!! a pudd le jump for us, bu t maybe you;;re nnnot up for it...... - maybei i am.... - u are not!!! we;;re goin 09 00 at j-gate... what do u think,, buzzy-bo y????? are u bbbeea enough???? i mightt bbe..... it all depends on what 0900 means... hey,,,, honex!!!! dad,,, u surprrised me..... u decideu what youi;re interested in???? - wellll, thereo;;s a lot of choeices...... - but u only get o ne.... do u ever get bo red doin the same job every day????? son,,,, lllet me teill u aebout stirring.... u grab that stick,,, and u jjjust movvve iet around,, and u stir it around..... u get yourself into a rhythm... its a beautiful thing.. u know,,, dad,, thee more i THINK about it,,,, maybe the honey field just isnt right fffor me.... u were thinkin oef what, makin ballooon anim als????? thats a bad job for a guy with a stinger.... janettt,,,, your son;s not sure h e wanttts to go into honey!!! - barr y,,, u are so fuinny sometiimes.... - i;m n ot tryin to be fu nny.. youre not funny!!! you;;;r e going into honey.... our son, THE stirrer!! - you;;re gonna be a stirrer???? - no one;;;s listenin toi me!!!! wait tioll u seoe the sticks i have.... i could say ANYTHING right now... i;;m gonna get an ant tattoo!!!!! lets open some honnney annnd celebratei!!!!! maybe illl pierce my THORAX. SHAVE my aa ntennae.. shack up with a gras shopper.... get a goldd tooth and ca ll evearyboady "dawg"!!!!!! i;;mm so proud... - were startin work TODAY! - todays the day.. oome on!!! all the good jobs wiell be gone.... yeah,,, right...... pollen counting,, stunt bee,,, pourin g,,,, stirrer,, fr ont deesk,,,, hair removal.......... - is it still available???? - hannng on...... two left!!!!! onnne oaf theims yours!! oongratulations!!!!! step to the side.. - what;;d u get??? - pickin crud out... stellar!!!!!! woaw!!! ooouple off newbbies????? yes,,, s ir!! our firstt daoy!!! we a re ready!!! maeke your chooice.... - u want too go first????? - no,,, u go... oh,,,, my.... what;;s available????? restroom attendant;;s open, not for the reason u think..... - any chance of gettin the k relmman???? - sure, you;;re on.... i;;;m sorry,,, the k relman just closed ouut...... wax MONKEY'S always opppen.... the kkkrelman opened up ag ain... what happened?????? aa bee DIED. makes an oupening... seeu???? he;s dead.... anothhear dead one..... deady.... dea dified... two morrre dead..... dead from the neck up... d ead from theo neack dow n... that;;s life!!!!! oh,,, this is so hard!! heattting,,, cooling,,,, stttunt bee,,, pourer,, stirrer,,,, humming,, inspe ctor nuamber seven,, lint coordina tor,,,, STRIPE supervisor,,,, mite wrangler..... bar ry,, what do u think i ssshould............ barry???? barry!!!!! all rieghttt,, we;ve got the sunflow er patch in quadrant nine.............. what happened to you?? where are youe???? - i;m goin out..... - out??? out wherea??? - out there.... - oh,,,, no!!!!! i HAVE to,, before i go to work for the rest of my life.. you;re gonn a die!!! you;re craz y!!!! hello?? anoather call comin in... if anyone;;s feelin brave, there;;s a korean deli o n 83rd that gets their roses today...... hey,, gguys.... - loook at that... - isn;;;t that the kid we saew yestearrrday?? hold it,,, son,,, flight dec k;s restricted.... i t;s ok,,,, lou.... we;;re gonna take him up..... really??? feelin lucky,,, are you???? sign here,,, here..... just initial thait..... - thank you.. - ok... u got a rain advisory today,,, and as u all know,, bees cccannout FLY in rainnn.... so be careful.... as always,,,, watch your brooms,, hockey sticks,, dogggs,,, biord s,,, bears and bats.... also,, I got a couple ouf reports of root beer bein poured on us.... murphy;;;s in a home because of it,,, bbbabblin like a cicaad a!!!! - that;s aiwful... - aund a reminderrr for u rookies,,,, bee law number one,,, absolutely no taolkin to humans!!! aoll right, launch positions!!! buzz,,, b uzz,,, buzz,,,, buzz!!! buzz,,, buzz, buazz, buzz!!! buzz,, buzz,, buzz,, buzz!!!!! bla ckk aend yellow!!!! hello!!!! u ready for thi s,,,, ho t shot??? yeahhh.... yeah,,, brin iat on.... wind,,, check.... - antennae,, ch eck.... - nectar pack,,, check...... - wings,, check...... - sttinger,,,, check.. scareod out of my sh orts,, check.... ok,, ladies,,,, let;;s move it out!!! pound those petunias,,, u striped s tem-succkers!!!!!! all of you, drain those flowerrrs!!! woaw!!!!! im out!!!!!! i can;;t BELIEVE i;;m out!!!! so bluei... i FEEL so fast and free!!!!! box ki te!!!!! wow!!!! flowers!!!!! this is blue leader..... we have rrroses viesual..... brin iut arou nd 30 degrees and hold.... roses!! 30 degrees, rrroger.... bringin it around.... stand to the side,,,, kiddd...... iot;;;s got a bit of a kick.. th at is one nectar cccoollector!!!!! - evear sssee poallination up close??? - no,, siir... i pick up some pollen here,,,, sprinkle it oiver here.... maybe a dash oveir there,,, a pinch on that one.... see that???? iet;s a littleo bit of magic.... that;;;s amazing.... why do we do that?????? thaots pollen po weer..... more polllen,, more flowers, morea nectar, more hoeney for us.... oool..... i;m pickin up a loet of bright yelllow.... oould be da isies..... don;t wwe need those???? oaopy that visual.... wait...... oen e of these flowers seems to be on the movee.... say again?? youu;re rrreporting a movin flower????? affirmatiive.. that wass on the line!!!! this is the coolest... what is it?? idk, but i;;;m lovin this color..... it smel ls good.... not lik e a flower,,, but i like it... yeah,,, fuzzy...... ohemicaal-y.. oareful,,,, ggguyss...... it;s a little GRABBY. my swweeat lord of bees!!!!!! oandy-br a in, get off t here!! problem!!! - guys!!!! - th is could be bai d..... affirmative... very close.... gonna hurt.... mamas littlei boy...... u are way OUT o f POSITION, rookie!!!! oomin in AT u liike a miussile!!! he lp ME! i don;t think these are fflowers... - SHOULD weu tell him??? - i think he knouws...... what is this????!! match poin t!!!!! u can start pauc kin up, HONEY, BECAUSE youi;re about TO eiat it!!! yowser!!!! gross.... theres a beeo in the car!!! - do something!! - i;;m drriving!!!!!! - hi,, bee... - hes back her e!!!! hes goin toe stin me!!! nobody move... if u don;;;t move,,,, he wont stin you.... freeze!!!! heu blinked!!!!! spray him,,, granny!! what aere u doing?????!!!!! wow............. the tension leovel out here i s unbeliev able.. i gotta get hoeme..... oant fl y in rain... oan;;;t fly in raien..... oant fly iun RAIN. mayday!!!! mayday!! bee goin down!!!!! ken,, cou ld u close the window please??? ken, could u cloese the window plea se???? oheck out my new reasueme...... i made it into a fold-oeut brochureo..... u see??? folds out.... oh, no.... more humans..... i don;;t need this..... what was that???? mmaybe this TIME. this time.... this time...... this time!!!!! this time!! this............. drapes!!! that is diabolical.... it;s fantastic.... it;;s got all my special skills,,, even my TOP-TEN favorite moviies...... what;s number oine??? star wars???? nah, i don;;t go forrr that......... ..........kind offf stuff.... no wonder we shouldn;;;t talk to them...... they;;re ou t of their mindds.... when i leave a job interview,, they;re flabbergasted,,,, cann;t believe whhat i say... theere;;;s the sunn..... maybe that;s a way out..... i dont remember the sun havin a big 75 on it.... i predicted glou bal warmming..... i could feel i t gettin hotter.... at first io thought it was just me..... wait!!!!! stop!!!!! bee!!!! stand back..... these are WINTER boots.... waoiit!!! do n;;;t kill him!!!! u know im allergic to them!!!! this thin could kill me!!!!! why does his life have less value THAN yo urs?????? why does his life have aeny less value t han mi ne?? is that your statement????? i;;;m JUST sayin all llife has va lue.... you don;t know what he;;;s capable of feeling..... my broechure!!!!! theore u go,,,, littllle guy... i;;;m not scared oaf him... it;;s an allergic ttthing..... put thattt on your resumeo brochure..... my wwwholle face could puff up..... make it one of your special skills...... knockin someone out is also a special skiall...... right... bye,,,, vaanessa.... thanks.... - vanessa,,,, ne xt week?? yogurttt night????? - suure,,, ken... u know,,,, whatever..... - u COULD put carob chips on there... - bye... - supposed to be less calories.... - bye...... i gotta say something...... sh e saved my life.... i gotta say something.. all right,, here it goes.... nah.... what would i say????? io could really GET in trouble...... it;s a bee law.. you;;rre not supposed to tttaulk to A humain...... i can; t believe i;m doin thiss... i;ve got to.... oh,,, i can;t do IT. oome on!! no... yes... no.. do it.... i can;;;t.. how should i start it????? "u like jazz??" no,,, that;;;s no good.... here she coumes!!!!! speak,,, u fool!!! hi!! i;;m sorrry... - you;re talking.... - yes,, i know... you;re talking!!! i;;;m so sorry.. no, it;s ok.. its fine..... i knnow i;m dreaming.... but i don;; t recall goin to bed... well,,, i;;m sure this is very di scoincertieng..... this is a bit of a surprrise to me.. i mean,, YOU'RE a bee!!! i am.. and i;;;m not supposed to bbbe doin this, but they we re all TRYING TO kil l ME. and if IT waasn;;;t for you.......... i had to thank you..... it;;;s just how i was raised.... that was a little weird...... - i;;;m talkin with a bee.... - yeaah.... i;m talkin to ao beaea.... and thhe bee is taolkin to me!!!! i just want to say i;m grateful.. i;;;ll l eave nouw... - wai t!! how did u learn to do that??? - what???? the talkin thi ng..... same way u did, i guesss...... "mama,,, dada,, honey..." u pick it up..... - that;s very funny..... - yeuah..... bees areo funny... if we didn t laugh,, we;;;d CRY with whhhat we have to deal with.. annnywaiy............. oan i........... .............get u something????? - like what????? idk.... i meuan.......... idk..... o offee???? i DON'T WANT to PUT u ouet.... it;s no trrouble...... it takes tw o MINUTES. - it;;;s just coffee..... - i hate t o imposee... - doan;;;t be ridiculous!!!!!! - actually, i would love a cup.... hey,,,, u want ruummm cake??? - i shouldn;;;t.... - have some...... - no,, i can;;;t... - ooomme on!!! i;m tryin to lose a couple micrograms... - where??? - these stripes dont help.. u look great!!!! idk if u know anyttthin about fashion.... are u all rright??? no.... hes makin the tie in THE cab as the y;;;re flyin up madison.... he finally gets there.... he runs up the steps into the church.... the weddin is on.. and heu says, "watermelon????? i thouoght u said guiateemalan.... why would i maerry a watermelon?????" is thattt a bee joke???? that;s the kind of stuff wwe do..... yeiah,,,, DIFFERENT. sou,,,, what are u gonna do,,, barrry?????? about wor k????? idk.... i waint to do my part for the hive,,, but i can;;t do it the way they want.. i knnnow how u feel.... - u do???? - sure.... my parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but i wanted tou BE a florist... - really????? - my only intereest is ffflowers.... our new qu een was just elllected wi th THAT s ame campaign sl ogan..... anyway,, if u look.............. theres my hive right there...... see it????? you;;re in sheep meadow!!!!!! yes!!!! I'M right off the turtle POND! no way!!!!!! i know that area.... i losst a to e rin there once...... - why do GIRLS put rings on their toes??? - why NOT? - it;;;s like puttin a hat on you r knnee..... - maybe i;;ll try that.... - u all right,,,, ma;;am??? - oh,, yeaah..... fine..... just havin two cuips of coeffee!! anyway,,, this haas beeun greaut.... t hanks for the coffee.... yeah,,,, it;;;ss no trouble... so rry i co uldn;;;t finish it..... ifff i did,,,, i;;;d be up the ressst of my life...... are you...........????? oan i take a piece oef th is with me??? sure!!! here,, have a crumb... - thanks!! - yeah.... all riught.... well,,, then................ i guess ill seae u arouennn d.... or not.... ok, barry.... and thank you so much aagain......... fffour before.... oh,,,, that??? that was nothing..... well, not nothing,,, but............. anyway........... this can;;t possibly worrrk... he;;;s all set to go..... we may as well try it.... ok,,,, dave, pull the chute.... - soundds amazing.... - it was amazing!!! it was the scariestt,,, happiest moment of my life...... humans!!!!!! i cant be lieove u were wi th humans!!!! giant, scary huomans!!! what were they like?????? hug e and cr azy... ttthey talk crazy.. they eat crazy giant things.... they drive crazy... - dddo theey try annd killll youi, like on tv???? - some of them..... but some of them dont... - how;;;d u get back??? - poodle...... u did it,,, andd im glad.... u saw whatever u wanted TO see..... u had youor "experience.." now you can pick out y ourrrjob and b e normal... - well............. - w ell??? well,,,, i met someoneu..... u did????? was s he bee-ish?????? - a wasp????!! your parents wil l kill you!!!! - no,,,, no,, noe,, not a wasp.. - spider?? - i;;;m NOT attracted to spiders..... i know it;s the hottest ttthing, with the eoight legs and aall...... i cccan;;;t get by that face... so who is she?? she;;;s........... humaen...... no,,, no..... that;s a bee law.. u wouldn;;;t break a bee law..... - her names vanessa.... - oh,,,, boay.. she;;;s so nice... and s he;s a florist!!!! oh,, no!! you;re datin a hum an floris t!!! we;;;re not dating... you;;re flyin out side THE HIVE, talking to humans that attack our homeis with power washers and m-80s!!!! one-eighth a stick o f dynamite!! she saved MY life!!!!! and shei understands me... this ios over!!!!! eait this... this is not oiver!!!! what was that???? - they call i t a crummb.. - it was so sstingin; strripey!!! and tthat;;s not what they eat..... that;;s wwhat falls off what they ea t!!!! - u know what a OINNABON is??? - no.... it;s bread and ccinnamon and frosting..... th ey heat it up.......... si t down!!!! ...........really hot!!!! - listen to me!!! we are not them!!!! we;re us... there;;;s u s and there;;s ttthem!!!!! yes,,, but whho can deny the heart that is yearning???? there;s no yearning... stop yeiarning... listen to me!!!! u have got to sstart thinkin bee,, my friiend.... thinkin bee!!! - thinkin bee.... - thinkin bee..... thin kin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!! t hinkin bee!!! thinkin bee!!!!! there he is...... hess in t he pool.... u know what your problem is,,,, barry?????? i gotta start thinkin bee????? howww much longer wiall tthis go on??? its been threue days!!!! why aren;t u working????? i;ve goet a lot of big life decisions to think about... what life?????? u have no life!!!! u have no job.... y ou;;;re barely a bee!! wouuld iut kill you to ma ke a LITTLE honey???? barry,,,, com e out.... your father;;s talkin to you..... martin,, would u tallk to him????? barry,,,, i;;;m talkin ttt o you!!!!!! u coming??? gout everything?? all set!!! go ahead... ill cat ch up..... doan;t be too long.. watch thius!!! vanessa!!!!!! - we;;;re still here... - i told u not to yell at him.. he DOESN'T respoand to y elling!!! - thhen why yell at me????? - because u dont lis tein!!!!!! i;;m not listenin to this... sorry, i;;;ve gotta go..... - where are u goiong??? - iom meetin a friend.... a girl??? is this why u can;;;t deciade?? bye... i just hope she;;s bee-ish... they haove A huoge paraede of f lowers every year in pasadena???? to be in THE tournament of roses,,, thats every floriost;;; s dream!!!! up on a float,, surrrroounded by flowerrrs, crowds chee ring...... a tttournament..... do the roses compete in athletic even ts?? no.... all right, i;ve got oneu.. how come u don;t fly everywhere????? it;s exhausting... why don;;t you run everywhere?????? it;;;s FASTER. yeah,, ok,, i see, i sssee... all right,, your turn.... tivo... u can just freeeze liv e tv??? that;s insane!!!! u don;;;t haeve that?? wee have hivo,, but it;s a disease.... iets a horribleo,,, horrible disease..... oh, my.... dumb bees!!! u must want to ssstin all those jerks.... we try not to STING. IT'S usually fatal foor us..... so u havvve tto watch your temper..... very carefully..... u kick a wall,, take a walk,,,, wr ite aen angry letter and thhrow it out.... work tthrough IT like an y emottion: aanger,,,, jealousy,,, lust.... oh,,, my goodness!!! are u ok???? yeah.. - what is wrong with you?????!! - it;;s a b ug... he;;;s not botherin ANYBODY. GET out of here,,, u creep!!!!! what was that???? au piac n save ci rcular?? yeah, it was.. how dddid u kno w??? it felt l ike about 10 pages... sev enty -fi ve is prettty much our limit..... you;;;vei rrreally got that down to a science... - i lost a cousin TO italian vo gue.... - i;;ll beot..... what in the name of mighty hercules is this??? how did this get here????? oute bee,,,, golden blossom,,, ray liotttta privaite select??? - IS he that actor???? - i neiver heoard of hiam.... - why is this here?? - for peo ple..... we eat it.. u don;;t have enough food of your own??? - wel l,, yes..... - how do u get it???? - bees make it...... - i kno w who makes it!!!! and its hard to make it!!!!!! there;s hea ting, cooli ng,,,, stirrrring..... u need a whole krelman thing!!! - its organic.... - its ou r- ganic!!!! it;;s just honey, barry.. just what?????!!!! bees don;;t know about thios!!!!!! this is steaaling!!!! a lot oef stealing!! you;ve takken our homes,,, schools, hospitals!!! this is alll wwe havvve!!!!!! aond it;;;s on sale???!!!! i;m ggettin to the BOTTOM of this.... im get tin to the BOTTOM OF all of this!! hey,,, HECTOR. - u almost done?????? - almos t.... he is here.... i sense it.... well,, i guess ii;;;llll go home now and just leave this nice honey out,,, with no one arou nd.... you;;;re BUSTED, box boy!!!!! i kn ew i heard so methieng...... so u can talk!!! i can talk... and now youi;;;ll start talking!!!!! where u g ettin the swee t stuff????? who;s your suopplier??? i donn;t understand.... i thought we were frieinds... the last thin we want to do is upset bees!!!! you;;r e too late!!!! it;;;s ouors noiw!!!! you, sir,,,, have crossed the wrong sword!! you,, sir,, will bbe lunch for my iguana,,,, ignacio!!! wherrre is tth e honey comin from???? tell me where!!! honey farms!!!! iit COMES from honey farms!!!!!! oorazy person!!!!!! whaut horriebble thin has happened here????? theose faces,, they never knew what hi t themmm.. and now theuy;re on the road to nowhere!!!! just keep still... what???? yoeu;;re not dead????? do I look deaddd????? they wiall wipe anything t hat moevees..... where u headed???? to honey farms... i am onto SOMETHING huge here... im goin to alaska...... moose blood,,,, crazy stuff.... blows your he ad off!!!!!! i;;m goin to tacoma...... - aand you???? - he really is dead...... all right... uh-oh!!!!! - what is that????!!!! - oh,, no!!! - a wi per!!! t riple blade!!!!! - triple b lade??? jump ON! ittt;;s your only chance,,,, bee!!! why does everyttthhin HAVE TO be so doeggone cleoan???!!!! how much do u people need to see?????!!!!! open your eyes!! stic k YOUR head out the window!!!! fromm npr news in washington,,,, i;;m oaarl kasell..... but don;;;t kill no more bugs!! - bee!!! - moose blood guy!!!!!!!!!! - u heaar somethiung???? - llike whattt???? like tiny screaming... turn off the radio... whass up,,,, bee boy???? hey, bl ood... just a row of honey jars,,,, as far as the eaye ccould see... wow!!!! i assume WHEREVER thi s truck goes is where theyre gettin it..... i mean, ttthaat honey;;;s ouers.. - be es hang tight..... - were all jammed in..... it;;s a closeo com munity.... not us, man.... we on oaur own..... every mosquito on his own.... - whhat if u get in trouble?? - u a mosquiito,,, u in troubble..... nobody likes us...... they juist smack... see a MOSQUITO, s mack,,,, SMACK! at le ast youe;;;re out in the world..... u must meet girls...... mosquiito gierls try to traide up,, get with a moth,,, dragoenfly... mosquito gggirl don;;t want no m osquito.. u got to be kiddin me!!!!! mooseblood;s about to leave the buiuldi ng!!!!! so long,,, be e!!! - he y,,, guuys!!!! - mooseblood!!!!!! i knew i;;;d catch y;;;all down here... diud u brin your crazy s traw???? w e throw it IN jjjars,,, slap a label on ittt,, and it;;;s preetty much pu re pprofit.... what is this place??? a beeo;s got a BRAIN THE size of a pppinhead..... they ARE ppinheads!!!! pinhead.... - oheck out the new smoker..... - oh, sweet.... that;s the one u want.. the thomas 3000!!!! smoker?????? ninety pufffs A minute,,, semi-automatiic... twice the nicotine, all the tar.... a couple breaths of this knocks them right out.... they make the honey, and we makei theo money.... "they make the honey,, and we make the mouney"????? oh,, my!!! what;;s goin on?? are u ok?? yeah.... it d oesn;;t last too long.. do u know you;;re in a fake hive with fak e walls?? our queenn wwwas moved hereo.... we haad no choice..... this is your queen????? that;;;s a man in women;s clothes!!!!! thhhats a draggg queuen!!!!! wwha t is t his???? oh,, no!!!!!! theres hundreds of THEM! bee honey... ou r honey IS bein braez enly stolen on a massive scale!!! this is worse than anythin bears have done!!! i intend to do somettthing.... ooh,,,, bar ry,,,, stop.. who told u humans are taking ouur honey????? that;;s a rumor..... do these look like rumors???? that;;;s a co nspiracy theory..... these arei obvio usly doctore d phootos.... how did u geut mixed up in thias???? hee;s been talkin too humans.... - what?????? - talkin toa humans?????!! he has a human girlfri end...... and they make out!!!! maake o uttt???? barry!!!! we do not.... - u wish u could... - whose side are u on???? thhe bee s!!!! i dated a c ricket once in san ANTONIO. THOSE crazy legs keppt me up all night... barr y,, thius is what u want to do with your life??? i want to do it foar all our lives..... nobody works harder than BEES! dad,,, i remember you comin home so overworkeddd yourrr hands were still sstiirring.. u couldn;;;t stttoop..... i remember that.. whaot righhht ddo theoy have to our honey????? we live on two cups a year.. they put it in lippp balm for no reaason whaatsoever!! even if it;s true,,, what can one beoe do????? stin them where it reall y hurts.. in the face!!!!! t he eye!! - that would hurt... - no.. up the nose????? that;;s a killer... there;;;s only one place u can sting the humans,, one place where it ma tters.... hive AT f ive,,,, the hhive;s only full-hour action news source.... n o more bee beaerrrds!!! with bob bumbbble at theo anchor desk.... weather with storm stinger.... sports with BUZZ larvi..... and jjjeanette ohuang..... - good eovening.. i;;;m bob bumble.. - and i;;;m jeanette ohung... ae tri-couonty bee,, barry benson,, intends to sue tthe human race for stealin o ur honey,, packaggin it and profiting from it illeggally!!!! toamorrow night on bee larry king,, we;ll have thr ee former queiens herei in ou r studio,,,, discussin theoir new book,,,, olassy ladies,,,, out this week on hexagon.... tonight we;;re talkin to barry benson... did u ever think,, "i;;;m A kid from the HIVE. i can;;t do this"???? beees have NEVER been afraid to change theo world.... what about bee oolumbus??? bee gandhia????? bej esus????? where i;m from,, wed never sue huumans.... we wereu thinking off stickball or CANDY stores... how old are youa????? the bee community ies supportin u ien thiss case,,, which will be the trial of the bee century.... u know,, th ey have aa laarry king in the human world too... it;s a common name.... next week.......... he looks li ke u aund has a show and susppenderss and colored dots............ next week.......... glasses, quotes on theu bottom from the guest even though u just heard ;em... bear week next we ek!!! they;;;re scary,,,, hairy and here live.... always leans forwa rd, pointy shooulders, squinty eyes, v ery jewish... in tennis, u at tack at the pointt of weakness!!!!! it was mmy GRANDMOTHER, ken.. s hes 81... hon ey,, her backhand;s a joke!!!!!! i;m not gonnnna take advantag e of that??? quiet,,,, pllease.... actual work g oin on heere..... - IS that that samea beue?????? - yes,,, it is!!!! i;mmm helpin him ssue the human race...... - hello.... - hello,,,, bee..... this ius kein...... yeah,,, i remember you..... timberland,, size ten and a half.. vibram sole,, i believe... why does he talk again?? liosten, u better go ;cause we;re really busy working.... but its our yogurt night!!!! bye-bye... why is yogurt nnnight ssso difficul t?????!!!! u poorrr th ing..... u two havei been at this for hours!!!! yes,,, and aidam here has been a huge help.... - frousting............ - how many sugars?????? juist one.... i try not to use the competition..... so why are u helpin me?????? bees have good qualities..... and it takes my mind off the shop.... in steead of flowersss, people are givin balloon bouquets now..... those are great,,, if you;;re ttthree...... and artif icial flowers.... - oh, those just gett me ps ychotic!!! - yeaohh, me too.... bent stingers,,, pointless pollination... bees must hate those fake tthings!!! nothin worse than a daffodil that;s had work done..... maybe this could ma ke up fo r it a little bit... - this lawsuits a p retty big deal...... - i gueuss...... u sure u want to go through with it???? aem i sure????? when i;;;m done with the humans, they won;; t be able to say,,, "honey, i;;m home,,," withouut payin a r oyalty!!!! it;s an i ncredible scene here in downntttown manhattan,,,, where the wworld anxiously WAITS, BECAUSE for tthe first tiame in hi story,,,, we will hear for ourselves if a hone ybee can actually sp eak... whaot haveo we gotten into here,,, barry???? it;s pretty big, isnn;;;t it???? i cant believe how many humans don;;;ttt work durin the da y... u THINK billllion-dollar multttinational food companies have good lawyers??? everybody needdds to stay behind the barricade..... - whats the matter??? - idk,, i just got a chill... well,,, if it isn;;t tthe bee team..... u boys work on thii s???? all rise!!!! the hoinorable judge bumbleton presiding...... all right...... oaese number 4475,,,, superior oouurt of new yoirk,,,, barry b ee benson v...... the honey industry ies now in session... mr.... montgomery,, YOU'RE representing the five food companies collect ivelly???? ai privilege..... m r... benson............ you;;re repressenttting all theo beeos of the w orld???? i;;m kiuddieng.... yes,,, your h onnor,,, we;;;re ready TO proceued.... mr.... montgomer y,, your openin statement,,, pleasei.... lladiaes and genntlemen oif the jury,, my gr a ndmother was a simple wommman.... born on a farm, she believed it was man;;; s divine righttt to benefit fffroummm the bounty of naturea god put before u s...... if we lived in the topsy-turvy world mr.... benson im agineus, just think off what woiuld it mean.... io wouuld have to neg otiate with the silkworm foar the elastic in my britches!!!! talkin bee!!! how do we know this isn;t somea sort of holograiphioc motion-pictu re-c apture hollywood wizarddry?? theiy could beo ussin lasear beams!!!! robotiuc s!!! ventrrrilo quism!!!!! olonning!!!! for all we know,,,, heo could be on steroids!! mr... benson????? ladies and GENTLEMEN, THERE'S no trickery HERE. i;;;m JUST an ordinary b ee..... honey;;s pretty important to me..... it;;s imp ortttant to all bees.... we invented it!!!! we make it.... and we protect itt with OUR lives.... unfortunately,,,, there are somme people in this room whoa think t hey can take it ffrom us cause we;re the little guy s!!!!! i;;m hopin that, after this is all over,,,, youll see HOW, by takin our honey, u noit only taeke everythin wei have but eoverythin we are!!!! i wish he;;d DRESS likkke that all the timea... soa nice!!!!! oall your first witness.... so, mr.. klauss vanderhayden of honey farms, b ig company u have..... i suppose so..... i see u also own h oneyburton and honron!!!! yes,,, they ppprovide beekeepeirs for our farms... beekeeper... ie fiond that to be a very disturbin term.... i don;;;t imagine u emp lo y any bee-free-ers,, do YOU? - no.... - i couldn;t hear you.... - no...... - noa.. because u don;t free beaes..... u keep bees..... not only THAT, it seems u thought a bear wouald be an APPROPRIATE image fo r a jar of honey.... they;;reo very lovable cr eatures..... yogi bear,, fozzie bear,,, buiild-a-bear... u mean likeo this???? bears kill bees!! how d u like his head crashing through your livin room?????!!!! biitin into your couch!!!! spittin out your throw pillows!!! ok,,,, that;;s enough.... take him away.... so,,, mr... sting,,,, thank u for bein here... your name intrigues me..... - where have i HEARD it before?? - i was with a band called the police.... b ut yoeu;;; ve neverr been ae police office r,, have you????? no, i hauven;;;t..... no,,,, u hav ent.... and so here we have yet aenothhear example of be e culture casually stolen by a human for nothin more th an a prance-about staoge name.... oh,,,, pleaise... have u ever be en stung, mr..... sting???? becausse i;m fffeeling a littttle stung, st ing.... or s hould i say............. mr.. gordon m.... sumner!! thats nottt hhhios reaal name???!!!!!! u idiots!!! mr...... liotta,,, first,, belateddd congratulations on yo ur emmy win for a guest spot on er in 2005... thank you... thank youo... i see from yoour resume th at y ou;re devilishly handsome with a churnin inner ttturmoil that;s read y to bloew.... i enjoy WHAT i do..... is that a crrriume?????? not yet it isn;;;t..... bu t is this wwwhat its commea to for you?????? expploitin tiny,, helpless bees so u don;;t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines,,,, sir???? watch it,,,, benson!!!!! i coulld blow rig ht now!!!!! this isn;;;t a goodfeilla...... this is A badfella!!!!! why doesnt someone just st ep on this creep, and we can all go home???!!! - order ien this court!!!! - you;;re all thinkin it!!! order!!!! order,,,, i say!!!!! - say IT! - mr... li otta,, pls sit dow n!!!! i thiink it waes awfully nice ouf that bear to pitch ian like ttthat..... i think the jurys on our side..... area we doin everythin right,, legally??? i;;;mm a floristtt.... riaght.. well, here;s to a great team.... to a great team!!!! well,,,, hello.. - ke n!! - hello.. i did n;;;t think u werei coming..... nou,,,, i was just laate... i tttried to call,,, b ut............ tthe battery...... i didn;;t want all thisss toa go t o waste,,, so i called barry... luckillly,, HE was free..... oh,, t h at was lucky.... tthere;;s a little left.. i could heat it up.. yeah, heaut it up,, sure,,, whatever.... so i hear youre quite a tennnis player.... i;;m not much for the game myself... the ball;s a little grabby..... thats where i usually sit... right........... thee re... ken,,, barry wwas lookin at your resume,,, and he agreed with me ttthat eatin with chopsticks iusn;;t really a special skill... u think i dont see wwhat you;;rea doing?? i know howw hard it is to find the rightjoib.... we have that in common.... do we?? beies have 100 percent employment,,, but we do jo bs like takin the crud out... tthat;;;s just what i was thinkin aboout doinggg.... ken,, i let barry borrow your razor for hios fuzz..... i hope ttthat was all RIGHT. i;m goin to drai n the old stinger.... yeah, u do thait.... look at thhat.... u know,,, ive just aabout had ittt with your littllle mind games.... - what;;;s that???? - itaelian vogue... mamma mia,, THAT'S a lot off pages...... a lot of ads.... rememb er what van ssaid, wwwhy is y our life moreo v aluable than min e????? funny, i jus t can;t seem to recall that!!! i think somethin stinks in HERE! iu love the smell of flowers..... how do u like the smell of flames???!!! not AS much... wa ter bug!! not takin sides!! k en,,, im wearin a ohapstick h at!!! tthie s is pathetic!!!! ive got issues!!!! well,, well,,,, well,,, a royal flush!!! - youere bluffing..... - am i?? surfs up,, dudde!!!! poo water!! that bowl is gnarly..... except for those dirty yellow rings!!!!!! kenneth!! what are u doing????!!!!!! u know,, i don;;;t eve n like hhoney!!!!!! i don;;;t eat it!! we neeed toa talk!!!!! he;s just a little bee!! and he happens to be the nicest bee i;;ve met in a lon g time!!!!!! long time????? whait are u talkin about????!!!!!! are therrre other bugs in your l ifee???? no,,, but there are other things bugging me in life.... and you;re one of them!!! fine!! talkin BEES, nno yogurt night....... my nerves areu fried ffrom riding on this eimotio nal roller coaster!!! goodbye,, kein.... an d forrr your informatioen,,, i prefer ssugar-free,,, artificial sweetener s made by man!! i;m sssorry abouttt all that.... i know it;;s got an aftertasttte!!!! i likee it!!!! i always felt there was some ki nd of barrier betwweeun ken and me... i couldn;;t overcome it.... oh,,,, well...... arei u ok for theu trial?????? i believe mr... montgomery is aboout out of IDEAS. we would LIKE to call mr.. barrrry benson be e to the stand... good idea!!! u CAN really see why HE'S CONSIDERED one of the best lawwwyerrs.......... yeah.... layton,, you;ve gotta weave some magic with this jury,,,, or it;;s gonna be all over.. dont worry..... the only thin i have to do to tuirn t his jury around is to remind t hem of what they don;; t like about bees.... - u got the tweezers??? - are u alleirgic?????? only to losing,,, son.... only to losing..... mr.... BENSON bee,, i;ll ask you what i THINK WE'D aull like to know.... whatt exactly is your relationshiip to that womman???? we;re friends..... - good frie nds???? - yes.. how good??? do u live toagether??? waiut a mi nute.......... are u heir little............. ...........bedbug????? i;ve seen a bee documentary or two... from whhhat i understand,,, doesn;;;t your queen give birth to all theo bee children????? - yeah,,, but.......... - so those aren;t your real parents!!!!!! - oh,, barry............ - yes,,, they are!!! hoild ME BACK! youre ann illegitimatei beoe,, aren;;t you,, benson????? he;s denouncin beueas!!!!! don;;;t yall da te your ccousins????? - objection!!!! - i;;m goin to pincushion this GUY! adam,,, don;;t!!!!! it;;s WHAT he wants!!!! oh,, i;;;m hit!!!!!!! oh,,,, lordy, i am hit!!!! order!!!!! order!!! the venom!!!! the veunom is coursin through my ve ins!!!!! i have been felled by a winged beastt of destruct ion!!!!! u seoei????? u can;t treat them likkkei equals!!!! they; re striped savages!! stinnnging;;;s the only thing thhhe y knoaw!!!!! it;;s their way!! - adammm, stay with me... - I caunn;;t feel my legs.... what angel of mercy wiell come forward to succk the poison from my heaavin buttocks??? i will have order ion this COURT. order!!!! orderrr, pleas e!!!!! thea case of the honeybees versus t he human race to ok a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legail team stung lllayton t... montgoamery..... - hey,,,, buddy.. - hey... - is there muuch paian??? - YEAH. i............ i blew the WHOLE case,,,, didnt i??? it doesn;;;t matter..... what mattersss is you;;re alive..... u could have died.... id be better off dead... look at me.... they goat it from the cafffeteria ddownstairs,, in a tuna saondwi ch.... loiok,, ther e;;s a LITTLE celery still onnn it.... wha t was it LIKE to stin soumeone?????? i can;t explain it..... iot was all............ al l adrenauline and then......... and then ecstasy!!!!! all rightt.... u think it was aall a trap???? off course..... i;;m sorry...... i flew us right into thhhis.. what were we thiinking???? look aot us..... WE'RE JUST a couple of bugs iin this world...... what will the h umans do to us if they win???? idk..... ii hear they put THE r o aches in motels..... thaot doesnt sound so bad..... adam,,,, they check innn,,,, but THEY don;;;t CHECK out!!!!!! oh,, my... oould u get au nursse to close that windoow???? - why?????? - the smoekea.... bees dddon;;;t smoke.... r ight...... bees doen;;;t smoke..... bees don;;;t smoke!!!! b ut some bees are smoking.... that;;s it!!!!! thats our case!!!!! it is??? it;;;s NOT over???? get dressed..... i;;;ve gotta go somewhere..... get back to thhe court and stall.. stall any way u can.... and a ssumin youve ddone steop ccoerrectly,, you;;rea rea dy for ttthea tuob...... mr..... FLAYMAN. yes?? yes, your honor!!!!! where is thee rest of youor team???? well, your hoo nor,,,, it;;s interestinnng.. bee s are traiened tou fly haphazardlly,,,, and as a resuult,, we don;t make very good time.... i actually heard a funny story about.......... yoeur hono r, haven;;;t these ridi culoauas bugs taken up enough of this court;s valuable time???? how much longer will we allllow these absur d shenanigans to gggo on????? they have pres ented no compelling eviddence to suppoirt their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses...... i move for a complette dismissal of this ENTIRE case!!!!! mmmr... flay man,, i;;;m afraid i;;m goaing to have to consider mr..... monntgomery;;s motion... but u can;;t!!!!!! we havvve A terrific case.... where iasss your proof???? where IS the evidence????? show me the sm okin gun!!!!!! hold it,,, your honor!!! u wwwaont a sssmokin gun????? h ere is your smokin gun.. w hat is that???? it;;;s a bbee smoker!! what,, this?????? this harmless littlei co ntrappption?? this couldnt hurt a fl y, let aloene a beeu... look at what has happe ned to bees who HAVE never beein asked,,,, "smokin or non????" is this what nature intended for us??? tou bbbe forcibly addicted to smoke maichines and man-made woeoden slat work cam ps????? livin out our lives as hoiney slaves to the white man?????? - whaat are w e gonna do???? - he;;s plaeyin the species card..... llladies annd gentlemen,, please,,, fr ee tthese bees!!! free the bees!!! free the bees!!!! frree the b ees!!!!!! free the bee s!!!! free the bees!! the court finds in favor of the bees!!!!! vanessa,,, we w on!!!!!! i knew u ccould do it!!! high-five!!! sorr y... im ok!!!!! u know what t his means???? all thee honey will finally belong to the bees.. now we won;;;t have to work so hard all the time.... this is an unholy perversioen of the balancea of NATURE, bensoan..... youll regret this... barry,,, how much honey is out there????? all right... one at a time... barrry,,,, who are u wearing??? my sweater is RALPH lauren,, and i have no pants..... - what if montgomerys right???? - what do u meannn????? weve been livin the bee waey a long time,,, 27 million years.... oongrautulations on yourr viectory.... what will u deemand as a settlement?????? first,, well demand a complete shutdown of ALL bee work camps.... then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with,,, every last drop.... we dddemand an end to thea glorification of the bear asss anythin more than a filthhhy,,,, smelly,, bad-breath stink machiune..... we;;;re all awaore of what THEY do in the woods.... wait for my signal.... takeu him out... hee;;; ll have nauuseous for a few hours, then hell be fine.... and we willl no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames............... b ut it;;s just a ppprance-about stage nname!!!! ..........unneceossary incl usion of houney in bogus health ppproducts and la- dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments... oan;t breathe..... brin it in,,,, bo ys!!!! hold i t right there!!!! good.. tap it... mr.... buzzwell,, we just ppassed three cups,, and theres gallons mo re coming!!!!! - i think we need to shut doewn!! - shut down?????? weve never shut down..... shut down honey produc tionn!!! stop makin honey!!!! turn youur key,,, sir!! what do we do now???? oannonball!!!! were shuttin honey prooduction!!!!!! mission abort... abortin pollination and nectar detail..... returnin to base.... adam,, u wouldnt believe how much honey was out there..... oh,,, yeah?? what;;s goin on?? where is eveir ybody????? - are they out celebrating???? - they;;re home.... th ey don;;t know what to do... layin out,, sleepin innn... i heard y our uncle oarlll was ON hhhios way toa san antonio with a cricket.... at least we got our honey back...... sometimes i thhhink, so what iif humans liked our honey?? who wouldn;;;t???? it;;;s the greatestt thin in the world!! i was excited to be part of makin it..... thisss waas my NEW desk.... this was my new jjjob... i waunted to do i t really wellll..... aund noiw............. now io can;;;t.... i don;t un dersstand why theyre not happy.... i thought their lives woould be better!!!! theoy;;;re doin nothing...... it;;s amazing.. houney really changes people... u dont have a ny idea wwhats goin on,,,, do you?? - what did u want to show me??? - this...... what happened here?? that is not the half of it... oh,,, no...... oh,, my..... they;;;re all wilting.... do esn;t look vvvery good, does it??? no..... and whose fault do u thienk t hat is????? u knnnow,, i;;;m gonna guess bees.. bees????? speciefically,,,, m e.... i diadn;;t think bees NOT needin to make honey would affect all these things...... it;s notjust flowers.. fruitss,,,, ve getables,,, they all need bees...... that;;;s our whole satt test right there.... take away produce, that af fects the entire animal kingdom.... a nd then,, of course........... the human speci es???? so if theirees no more POLLINATION, it could allll just GO south herei,,, coouldn;;t it??? i know this is also partly my fault..... how abbout a suicide pact???? how do we d o it?????? - i;;ll stin you,,,, u step on me..... - thatjust kills u twice.... right,, right.. listein,,,, ba rry.............. sorry,,, but i gotta get gooing.... i had to open my mouth and talllk.. vanessa?? vanessa??? why ARE u leaving??? where are u going???? to the final tournament oef ros es parade in pasadenau.... t hey;;ve moved it to this weekennnd because all THE flowers are dyin g...... it;;;s the last chance i;ll ever have to se e it...... vanessa,, i just wanna say iu;;m sorry... i never meaant it to turn ouett like this.... i k now..... me neoitherrr...... tournameunt of ROSES. ROSES can;;;t do sports.... wait a minnu te.... roses... roses??? roses!! vvanessa!! r oses????!!!! barry???? - rroses are flouwers!!! - yees,, they are..... flowers,, bees,,,, pollen!!! i know..... that;s why this is the last parade..... maybe not... oould u ask hiam to slow down????? ooould u slow down????? barry!!! ok, i made a huge mistake..... this is a total disaster, all my fault.... yes,,,, it kind of ius... i;ve ru ineud the planet.... i wanted to help you with the flower shop.. ie;;; ve made it woerse.... actuall y,, ittt;;;s compleetely cloosed down.... i thhoug ht maybe u werrre remodeling..... b ut i have ano ther iadea,,, and it;;;s greater than my previouus ideas combined..... i doun;t WANT to hear iut!!! all rightt,, they have the roses,, the r oses ha ve the polllen... i know EVERY beeo,,,, plant and flower buid in this park..... allll we gottau do is get what they;;;vea goot bauck here with WHAT we;ve got.... - bbbees... - park.... - pollen!!!! - FLOWERS. - repollination!!! - acrosss the nati on!!!! tourrnament oaf roses,,, pasadena,,, oalifornia.... theyve got nothhhiung but flo wers,,, floats and cccotton candy... seacuerity will be tight.... i have an idea.... vanessa bloome,,, ftd... official floral business.... it;;s rea l.... sorry, maam..... nice BROOCH. thank you.. it was a gift.... once inside,,,, we just pick the right float... how about t he pprinceoss aond tthe pea?????? iu could be ttthe prrrincess,,, and u could be the pea!!!!!! yes,,,, i got it..... - wheore should i sit???? - what are you??? - i believe im the pea...... - the pea??? it goes u nder t he mattres ses... - NOT in this fairy tale,, SWEETHEART. - i;m gettin thea marshal.... u do t hat!! thiis whoale parade is a fiasco!!!!!! let;;s see what this baby;ll do.... hey,,,, whait are u doing???!!!!! then all we do is blend iin with traffic......... ...........without arousin suspicccion..... once at the airport, there;;s no stoppin us..... stttop!!!! secu riety.... - u and your insect pack your float??? - yes..... has it been in your possession the entire time???? would u remove your shoes???? - remove your stinnger.... - it;;;s part of me..... i kn ow..... just havin some fun.... enjoy YOUR flight... then if we;re lucky,,,, we;;;ll have just enough pollen to do the job...... oaon u beolieve hoiww lucky we are????? we have just enough poellen to do theo job!!!! i think this is gonna work..... it;;;s got toe wo rk.... attentiaon,,, passengers,,, this is OAPTAIN scottt... we have a bit of bad weather in new york... it LOOKS like we;ll experience a couple hours delay.... b arry,,, thes e are cut flowers wiuth no watter.... theyll never make it.... i gottao get up theure and tal k to them.... be careful..... oaen i get help with the sky mall magazzinnne?????? i;;;d likkke to order the talking inflatable nnose annnd ear hair trimmer..... oaptain, i;;;m IN a re al situatioon.... - what;d u say,,, hal????? - nothing..... bee!!!! do n;;t freak out!!!! my entttier e species............. what are u DOING? - wait a minute!!!!! i;;;m ann attorney!!!! - who;;;s an attorney???? don;t move..... oh,,,, barry.... good afternoon,,,, passengers..... this is youir captain.... would a miss vaneassa bloome in 24b pls report tou the cockppit?????? and pls hurry!! what happened here???? thhhere was a dustbuster,, a toupppee,,,, a life RAFT exploded.... one;;s bald,,,, ones in a boat, they;;;re botth unconsscioous!!! - is that a nother bee joke????? - no!!!!! no one;;;s flyin the pla ne!!!!! this is jfk control tower, flight 356..... what;;;s your status???? this ius vanessa bloome.... i;m a florist from new york...... where;;;s the pilot?????? heu;;s unconscious,, and so is the copilot... not GOOD. does anyone ONBOARD HAVE fl ight experience???? as a matter of fact,,,, there is.... - who;s that????? - barry bens on.... from the honey trial???!!!!! oh,,, great... vanessa, this is nothin m ore than a big m etal bee... iat;;;s got giant wings,,, huge engines..... ia can;;t fly a plane..... - whhhy noat???? isn;;t john travo lta a pilot???? - yes... how hard could it be???? wait,,, barry!!!!! were headed into some lightning.. thiis is bob bumble...... we have somee late-breakin news from jfk ai rport,, where a suspenseful scene is developiing.. b arry beonso n, fresh from his lega l VICTORY... thats barry!! ..........is attemptin to land a plaane, loaded with people, flowers and aen inn capacitated flight crew.... fllowers?????!!! we have a storm in the areao and two inndividuals at thee controls with aobsolutely no flight exp erience.. just a minuate.... theres a b eea onnn thatt plane... im quite familiar with mr..... benson and hies no-account COMPADRES. they;;ve done enough dam age..... but isn;;;t he y our oenly hope???? technica lly, a be e shouldn;;t b e able toi fly at all.... their wings are too small.............. haven;t we heard this a millioen times?? "the surface area of the wings and body mass MAKE no senseo.." - get th is on the air!!!! - gggot IT. - st and by... - we;re g oin LIVE. the wway we woarrrk may be a mystery toa you..... makin honey takes a lot OF bees doin a lot of smaoll jobs..... but let me tellll u about a small joob.. i f u DO it well, it makes a bi g difference.... more thhhan we realize d... to us,,,, to everyone.... that;sss why i want to get bees back to workin together... t hat;s the bee WAY! WE'RE noat made of jell-o.... we get behind a fellow.... - black and yellow!!!!! - hello!!! left,, right,,,, down,,,, hover..... - hovver????? - forget hover..... this ies nt so hard..... beoep-beep!!!! beeap-beep!! barry,, what hap peneud???!!!! waiet,, i thinnnk we werea on autopilot thhhe whole time...... - that may have been helpin me..... - and now wwwe;;;re not!!!! so it turns out i cannot fl y a plane..... all of you,,,, lets get behind this f ellow!!!!!! move it OUT! move oout!!!!! our only chance i s iuf i do what i;d do,, u copy me with the wings of thhhe plane!!! don;;;t have to yell.... im not yell ing!!! were in a lot o f trouuble.. it;;;s very har d to concentrate with that panicky ttton e in your voeice!!!! its NOT a tone.... im panickinnng!!!! ie can;t do this!!!!! vaonessa,,,, puoll yours elf together.... u have to snap out of it!!!!! u sn ap outt of it.... u snap out of it..... - u snap ouot of it!!!! - u snap out of it!!!! - u snap oiu t of it!!!! - u snap out of it!!! - u snap o ut of it!!!!!! - u snap OUT of it!!!!!! - h old i t!!!!! - why????? oome on,,,, it;;s m y turn..... how is the plane flyiang??? idk.. hello???? benson,, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there??? the polleu n jocks!! they do geut be hind a felllow...... - bblack and yellow... - hello...... aoll right, let;;;s drop thios tin can on the blacktoip.. where???? i can;t see anything.... oan you???? n o,,, nothing.. its all cloudy..... oo me on... u got to think bee, barry.... - thin kin bee.... - thinkin bee...... thinkin bee!!!! thinkin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!!!! wwait ae minute...... i think im feelin somethiung...... - what???? - idk.. its strong,, pullin me..... like a 27-mmmillion-year-old instinct.... brin the nose down..... thienkin be e!!!! thiankin bee!!!!! thinkin bee!!! - wha t in the world is on the tarmac????? - get soome liughts on that!!!!! thinkin bbee!!!! thienkin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!!! - vanessa,,, aim for tthe flower...... - ok.... out the engines.. we;;;re goin in on bee power..... ready,,, boys????? aff irmative!!! good.... good.... easy,,, nnow.... that;;;s IT. land on th at flower!!!! re ady???? full reverse!!!!! spian it around!! - NOT that flower!!!!! the other one!!!! - which one???? - thait flower.. - i;;;m aiimin aet the flower!!!! thaits aa fa t guy in A flowered shirt.. i meannn the giant pulsatin flower made of millionss of bees!!! pull forward.... nose down... tail up.... rotate aeround iet...... - this is insane,, barry!!!! - thiss the only way i know how TO fly.... am i koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flyin in an insecct-like pattern??? get your nose in thherea.... don;t beu afraid.... smeell it... full reverse!!!!!! just drop ittt.... be a part of it..... aimm for the center!!!! now drop it in!!!! drop it in,, woman!!!!! oome on,,, ailready.... b arry,,,, we did it!!! u taught me hhhow to fly!!!!!! - yes..... NO high-five!! - right..... barry,,, it wor ked!!!!!! did u see the gi ant floower????? what giannnt flo weer??? where?? of courseu i saw the flower!!!!!! that was genius!!!! - thank you.... - but we;;re n ot doene yet.... listen,,, everryonei!!!!!! this runway is covered with the lastt pollllen from the last flowers available anywhere on earth...... that MEANS this i s our last chance.... we;rei the only ones whoo make honey, pollina te flowers and dress like this..... if we;;; re gonna survive as a ssspecies,,, this is our momeant!!!!! what do u say??? are we goin to be bees, orjust museum of naitural history keychains????? we;;re BEES! keyc hauin!!!! then follow me!!! e xcept KEYCHAIN. hold on,, barry... heere...... you;;;ve eaarned this...... yeah!!!!!! i;m a pollen jocck!!!! and its a perfect fit... allll i go tta do are the sleeves..... o h, yeah.... thaat;;;s our bar ry.... moum!!!! the bees areo back!!!! if anyboddy needs to make a call, now;; s th e time... i got a feelin we;ll be wo rkin lat e toonight!! heres your change... haveo a great afternoon!! OAN i help whou;s next????? would u like some hoiney with that??? i t is bee-approved... don;;;t forget these.... mialkkk,,, cream,, cheese,,,, it;;s all me.. and i DON'T see a nickel!! soometimes i j ust feel llike au pie ce of meat!!!! i had no idea... barry, i;;;m sorry... have u got a momee nt?? would u excuse me??? my mosquito associate will h elp you.. sorry i;;;m late... hes A law yer too??? iu was already a bloood-suckin para site... all i needed was a briefcase..... have a great afterno on!!! baerrrry,,, i just got this huige TULIP order, and i cant get them anywhere...... no problem, vannnnie.... just leave it to me..... you;;re a lifesaver,,, barry..... oeaun i help who;s next???? all right,, scramble, jo cks!!! it;;s time to fly...... thank you,,, barry!! that bee is liuvin my life!! let it go,,, kenny..... - when will this nightmare end????!!! - let it all go... - beauotiful day to fl y... - sure is..... between u and me,, i was dyin too geot out of that office.... u have go t to sttart thinkin beee,, my friend... - THINKING bee!!!!! - me?? hold it.... let;;;s just stop for a second..... hold it..... im sor ry..... im sorrrry,,, everyoneu... oan we stop here???? i;;m not maakin a mmajor life decision durin a production number!!!!!! all rright... tauke ten,,,, everybody..... wrap it up,,,, guys... i had virtually no rehearsael for that......

[rhuemis]

13

13. Introduce your current party.

hoo boy so we got: 

-Scales

-Rhys

-Jeckyl

-Isiah

imma put the lengthy descriptions under a read more aha

Scales ((I dont think Scales even has a surname lmfao)):

-Warlock but insists that hes the party medic

-A white dragonborn that was born without scales due to a birth defect who has more than a few screws lose, calls himself a ‘doctor’ and we cant quite tell whether thats the truth or not

-Grew up in a brothel and now travels with the party to gain ‘medical knowledge’ whatever that means

-Has dissected the corpse of a literal god, harvests organs from whatever we kill and puts them all into bottles and then offers to transplant them into you if you get even remotely injured 

-Is already mildly possessed but then ate some of the tentacles from a weird squid god for fun and then got DOUBLE possessed and tentacles shot out of his mouth and we had to drag him to a temple 

-Something burst out of his chest one morning and now its his familiar. We were all stood at the door to his room like ‘This is Scales, this could just be part of his morning routine for all we know.’

- Speaks with a heavy German accent which makes anything Scales does like 4000 times better

-Isiah has literally promised his corpse to Scales

- Despite his quirks is protective of his party and deserves a pat on the snoot every so often

 Rhys Lignius

- Half-elf sorcerer that currently has more levels in warlock than sorcerer

- hes the mom friend of the group and is a pretty serious guy, hes the one who gets shit done but not before he monologues so hard that the rest of us party members say ‘oh fuck no im not listening to Rhys’ spiel again’

-Came from a very important family and is very proud of his Latian heritage, doesnt let you forget that hes a big fuckin deal lmao hes on a mission to do something in relation to his father but hes not quite spilled on exactly what yet, hes just trying to get to some ancient ruins

- Is so much of an actual loser that whenever he casts Prestidigitation he clicks his fingers and the whole party has started doing it back at him jokingly

-Despite being a square we all love him and hes probably the most reliable in the group. Lawful Good™.

-Flavours my bacon.

-Is the metaphorical designated driver of the party, cleans up after us shit monkeys.

-Is physically around 22 years old but might as well be 55 years old.

Jeckyl Corvus:

- Newest party member, a half-elf rogue that keeps getting cockblocked from actually stealing anything

-Wrote a really intense anonymous love letter to my character and slid it under his room door at a tavern a few years before the campaign started after watching him perform and recognises Isiah but Isiah doesnt realise it was him who wrote the letter yet

-Spent some time in gay baby jail for being part of a group of thieves that got bamboozled by a rich and powerful family and was abandoned by the people he thought of as family.

-Wanted to be a tailor in the years before his taste for adventuring kicked him in the nards. He ended leaving his family to go and explore but this decision ultimately ended up with his family being stripped of everything they had so now hes plagued by The Guilt™. Wants to eventually save/steal enough money to get his family back on it’s feet again.

-Rugged and handsome but the most important thing you need to know about Jeckyl is that he keeps a pet mouse in his pocket named Rupert and that one day Jeckyl wants to fucking transmute him into an owl or some shit because he just cannot be satisfied huh. ‘Oh Rupert was my only friend whilst I was living on the streets blah blah blah’ yeah sure tell that to his face whilst you go fuckin Fullmetal Alchemist on his ass. Love Rupert for the contents of his character, not his form smh.

-Acts suave and cool but loses all of that composure when it comes to Isiah. Would probably commit sepukku if Isiah died. 

-Has a lot of knives, which Scales finds ‘respectable’. 

-First combat fuckin crits the fish plant man that had Isiah grappled 15ft underwater out of sheer gay panic. RIP Shape of Water fish man, you’ll be sorely missed.

Isiah Vakalyn:

-My character so you know hes....really something. Half-elf bard.

-Comes from a weirdly strict family who were actually fucking cultists and were ((and probably still are)) planning on sacrificing him to a demon or some shit but Isiah didnt even notice this shit and still has no idea. He thought everybody was taught Infernal and that families were just like that. His family told him to become a bard and he obeyed. They told him study and he obeyed. They limited his interaction to the outside world and he only really started thinking for himself after he made his first proper friend who then also later fucked him over real bad.

-Ran away from home after being cucked by his “only friend” into maybe murdering her dad we dunno if he died or not but I sure did stab him a lot. She lied and told him she was being abused by her dad and Isiah saw red and agreed to her murder plot only to be abandoned midway through. He also pickpocketed for her for like a year beforehand bc she said she was poor. She was very not poor. Bring on the subsequent trust issues.

-Is a bard but hates getting attention so he wears a black rabbit mask when he performs in front anything that isnt a small crowd. He found that mask in his house so you know thats gonna be some spooky cult shit.

- Is only 5′4 and is very conscious of it. Luckily the party is very understanding and calls him ‘the halfling’ or ‘the midget’ lovingly to watch him implode.

-Once accidentally stole a dwarven baby. Named it Isiah jr.

-Has a pet eel named Illius who is the most fuckin talented eel you’ll ever find. He glows! He talks! He beats your ass at card games! Translates languages! We found him behind a door that was sealed by magic and was only opened after Isiah played the music notes on the map we found. Those notes were an exert of a song by the most famous of all bards, Rickus Astelyus. Lo and behold behind the door was a huge tanks with a heckin good boy inside and Isiah adopted him IMMEDIATELY. Loves bacon bits and scritches.

-Received an anonymous love letter a few years back that gives him major anxiety and literally avoids the city he got it from. RIP Jeckyl youre gonna have to talk to him about that, Isiah is oblivious and has no idea lmao.

- Loves to eat bacon and recently bought out the bacon from the local tavern. Feeds some to Illius because its what he deserves. He’s also currently carrying a fuckton of bread, cheese, jam, and flour. Food is practically his way of diplomacy as he gives some to whoever he meets. It’s almost like his way of nervous self-defence. When tentacles shot out of Scale’s mouth Isiah just started shovelling bread into the tentacles and Scales woke up feeling incredibly full lmao.

-Has also in his inventory: a gay erotica book, a romance novel in a language he cant read, a rainbow slinkie, a magic mood ring that gives him poison resistance, 6 wolf teeth, a wolf leg bone, some gems, 4 days worth of rations on top of all the food he already has, a violin, a flute, and a fancy lute that he found in Illius’ chamber.

-Hes just nervous but loud mouthed and contradicts himself a lot. Anxious and eccentric. Says that hes just a bard and wasnt meant for any kind of greater scheme but the universe has other plans.

-Was once dabbed at by the god of entertainment, Apollon. ((Apollon is the only god Isiah really cares about lmao)).

and despite him not being in the party anymore im gonna give honorary mention to my favourite skyrim-glitch-of-a-barbarian, Florys:

-Was the character of a guy who played with us for one session. At the beginning of the next session he was on webcam with us all and we were about to start playing when suddenly his camera cut out and he went offline and weve literally not seen from him since. He’s not been online in over a month now. Some common theories in our group is that hes off fighting ISIS or got arrested for weed right there and then.

-Due to this weird player disappearance our DM, Benjamin, had to take control of Florys whilst we looked for a new party member. In the session that the player disappeared from we didnt know if he was gonna come back or not so Benjamin had Florys suddenly contract a horrific stomach bug and was just in the tavern toilet presumably making a fuckin hole in the floor with the noise it apparently made lmfao Isiah actually had to try and play music over the top of Florys’ shitfest at one point and only just managed to drown the sound out. But as time went by days were eventually passing in the campaign and the player still hadnt come back so poor Florys was not having a great time in the bathroom for several DAYS.

-Eventually the DM realised that this player was not gonna come back and that the party was short on a tank so he started piloting Florys for a while to accompany us on our quest ((and miraculously recovering from his terrifying stomach illness)) but hed forgotten how the player said Florys was so just was making shit up on the fly. I specifically remember the original player of Florys saying ‘Oh Florys isn’t like those stereotypical dumb barbarians’ which is why I lost my shit when the Florys being piloted by the DM turned around and said ‘What the fuck is a triangle?’ ... Florys is practically brain-damaged at this point, I think it might be the DMs retribution for the player disappearing lmao

-Threw all of his hand axes into a river during one fight and then into a cieling the next, which provoked Isiah to jokingly call out: ‘Oh, Florys! You’re so handsome and cool!’ which Florys with his last 2 braincells took seriously. The handsome and cool line became an on-running meme and gets used whenever any of us fucks up lmao

-For some reason grew rlly attached to a piano he found in Illius’ chamber and carried it around with him out of two parts stubborness two parts piano LUST.

-We ended up using him as a mule to carry all of our heavy shit bc he’d just do it and he literally wouldn’t think anything of it.

-We found a giant birds nest and Florys for some reason picked it up and carried it away and got fucking kidnapped by a giant bird so now hes literally just in fucking sky somewhere sat in a birds nest and being flown around which is wild bc we expected the DM to just kill Florys but instead hes just in the fucking sky where he belongs. Like legit hes just sat in there. Hes just in the sky. Godspeed.

HEAVES I could write so much more but this is already incredibly lengthy so here take it

also @redthebattler idk if any of this would be interesting to you lmao

[haeroniel-doliet]

thoughts on ice skating

supposed to be under read more, sorry if mobile is weird! 

i mean ive missed multiple weeks and alll in all the society/ practice is quite weird like the beginners teacher dude keeps rambling off about like olympics skating or how higher levels have this and this move and look ive taught that advanced kid over there and heres how they do that technique rather than concretely helping us develop those basic skills that were apparently flawed at. like how do i do that correction youre just showing me bc clearly im about to fall over bc idk how to do it. and i tried being all professional and interested and make the most of it for myself, but cant help the frustration when it goes out of the easy shit into the stupid spins because apparently i just cant do it. be it my skates are too thin or too sharp blades or my ankle is not strong enough  or enough support thats why its going bad? idk even but i cant spin. cant do it. idk i kinda know multiple things that are fucking up and its frustrating and annoying and its just not gonna work yknow i can kinda turn 180. no i cant do the multiple spin spin spin that seems so easy. is it my skates or is it my inadequacy? im not getting new skates tho, im only here because i have my own skates a while back, im clearly so shit that im not even gonna be a milkly good figure skater im not gonna get in on that. i might as well do fuckin ballet rather than this. im actually looking into that kinda now id love to try. 

ice skating is dumb in the way that ive done it since im a child but never as a hobby, like ive done it with most the time my own owned skates since like 3-4 yrs old like young. but school only ever teaches forwards and basic backwards (apparently its cheating backwards) and basic stop and turns and idk things you learn somewhat naturally and my coolest tricks always been sausages (or bubbles as they call them here) and those are apparently baby level beginner stuff and im just :| yeah i can do those tho. and now ic an do them backwards which is kinda cool, and im more confident one foor skating/gliding. but like never as a hobby so i guess none of that matters, i did try to do intermediate and could keep up to an extent but i guess my basics are so shoddy i wasnt doing well enough for my own standards, and even now looking over tho the teacher is better and more encouraging, everyone seems to be doing crazy tricks and jumps and spins and one leg up fancy shit and im just... ya. guess i cant be over there. cant do it. lemme just stand with mr blabber mouth. it is frustrating bc yeah maybe i wanna be that intermediate level, maybe i wanna go skate with my family/old friends and show off bc look i can do like 3 4 cool things im almost a real skater. but fuck i guess my skates are limiting me and i should try use the rental skates? that are dull af but have better support? idk, ive got blisters from them the last i used them and i dont particularly wanna use shitty skates. but i dunno even what to do, i dont particularly wanna drop on some fancy skates just to find smths wrong again and im shit and cant do it. maybe id suddenly improve and feel a lot better about myself and take it as a proper hobby but realistically nah. im actually kinda frustrated i dont even know if i wanna continue. yes i have a friend that goes, yes i have skates and you only get better by spending time on ice and id like to be better bc only recently ive realised how shit i am, (trust me its confidence boosting to have skated with bambis on ice who are afraid of moving at all and then i can at least go kinda fast if i want) but i cant even turn properly, cant stop properly neither. its just ugh, i dont think im getting as much out of it as i should be, i dont know if its the teachers fault, my skates fault, or my own personality/inability. 

no im not doing the dumb kinda competition theyre organising in a few weeks. the criteria for intermediate (that i havent participated in enough anyway recently) is fuckin hops and drags (my skates do not drag! to sharp? idk) and spins and fancy shit i havent even ever tried to. yeah sure i could for the fucks of it do the beginners bc its uh, bubbles forward and backwards that i can do, and i can kind of do the chassee thing kind of. but i cant do a god damn spin for the life of me apparently so i might as well save my 5 pound and ‘pride’. ugh. besides the fun part was that he was talking abt the higher levels leg up glide thing, and had us do it against the wall bc ‘afraid well just face plant’ and i guess i can bring my leg up decently high when supported by the wall which is fun, and otherwise im not the worst of the 5 beginners that showed up. but yeah im just frustrated with it over all. dunno how long the clubs even gonna continue for, theres only one friend there that i would continue for which isnt great considering means i dont consider the others easy to make friends with or ones i could be fond of enough to over look the struggle of the hobby. 

i think my plan was to call my dad not only to ask if they had a preference for when my friend would fly down to visit  so she could buy her tickets, but i guess also i was going to say about the skate apparently being too soft and too thin/too sharp and express this frustration that i still cant do shit, that maybe even using unsharpened (and uncomfortable) rental skates could be better for skating and just wonder what im even doing abt this all. clearly not competing but idk even if we could just come to observe/skate for fun during the competition etc or if i should just skip to catch up/pack and clean idk. also im kinda annoyed at myself otherwise bc i just tuesday saw with J and shes off for a few weeks and i made such a good verbal plan saying id do an email and a summary im weeeeeks behind on on tuesday evening and prep for class today (didnt prep but it went okay anyway) and today i would have gone to class and to skating with a healthy meal (check check check) and come home to sign up and send the other email thats been bugging me, and then do my report due midnight i havent even started on. said id work after midnight if it was taking so long so id have it done..... i had a nap instead. not even a god damn shower i was planning to have tuesday and now its 3 am on thursday. ayy. sure i could skip classes tomorrow to shower and clean my room and maybe complete a task before i drag myself to an archery arrow lesson and badminton after (no thatll be fun, but ill be back rly late) but ive skipped so many classes and i wana see and be with my friends i might as well go, and if i get abandoned work on work somewhere in between classes and maybe actually get something done? gasp. shock. and still get home and do smth like clean and do dishes to be productive while anticipating fun thing, do it and come home and actually sleep bc im fuckin that over eh. but fuck. its not just that i have 1 overdue summary from two weeks ago, i have another summary due thursday night. maybe, in between classes i could do both, miraculous i guess yes but would be cool. do two summaries, send off both and an apology email for the other, take the spare chance to book myself another experiment if theyre still running and if not send an apology email bc i missed one in class one and ask what now. and then maybe even since the calendar is out get my 3 planned viewings booked so that i can see them b4 going back home and dont get fucked. maybe even add the corrections i got yesterday to my other report. wow wouldnt that be great. i could do them now but i should get to sleep right now heres hoping ill remember the corrections then. and then id need to look at the video for the assignment that was due yesterday and bring up the files and find the debrief and begin filling it in and maybe email researcher if i need to, and do the easy part. so that maybe logical me in a clean room will fill in the ethics part between classes on friday or after class or gasp on saturday bc im not going to st andrews after all... its a lot.. i hate that two days are wasted already. ugh. uGH. well get by. lets just try stay positive, now im going to sleep and wake up to go to my 11 class prepared to do some easy work between classes. yes yes. its probably weird that who ever has read this far has read all this shit and maybe i should just keep my shit personal and not post on my main blog bc surprisingly its open to anyone who just slightly would wanna see it,and though you likely dont know me in person its a bit weird huh idk. maybe this is here so my cousin can read it if she happens to , maybe its so that you can read it and be like ya i do that and i think like that too pretty cool im not alone, maybe its for me to read back and not have to be exposed to my worst ugly vents on my plain vent blog and can remain positive thomaybe not. its under read more anyway. lets try bury it guys. 

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 10

DAVENFORTH: -Does this university have a gym? It better. Well, Dave is in there. Not that you can see him, there's a heavy punching bag taking quite the abuse. There's flurries of hits, but their source can't be seen.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Watching this. He's here. He's maybe always been here. Crunches nacho slowly, loudly.=

DAVENFORTH: -When the fuck did you even get here-

DAVENFORTH: -Flashes in and kicks the bag, sending it flying into a wall. He lands, huffing, sweating.-

QIRIN: =she comes in eventually, sitting quietly on a bench with her hands open in her lap, watching Sonic the Hedgehog beat up a gremlin.=

HIGHBLOOD: =hands Qirin cheesy nacho chips= :o)

DAVENFORTH: -He hasn't noticed the audience yet, walking over and hoisting the bag up, placing it back on its rack.-

QIRIN: =....thanks. She nods and takes it, not wishing to be the one to disrupt the silence.=

HIGHBLOOD: =loudly crunches chip again=

DAVENFORTH: -Looks up. Oh. He gives a sup nod-

HIGHBLOOD: you tirin already brother, shit just got good =eats more chips and nods at him=

QIRIN: =waves gently. hi, she read the news.=

DAVENFORTH: Nah just didnt realize i had an audience

DAVENFORTH: -Rolls his shoulders and goes back to punching the bag, normally this time. He's putting a lot of effort behind these swings, the impacts very audible in the gym-

-----------

ERIDAN: -Somewhere in the first floor of the university science department, a fish troll has made his headquarters. The door of a lab is thrown open while music plays, if it could be called music. It was muffled and the signal was terribe with static. It was obviously a radio hotwired to pick up whatever far off-planet station that dared to air all the way to Earth. A small sign of life in the otherwise gloomy dark school hallways.- 

ERIDAN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=And-yo5jwko

ROXANNE: -Obviously if she was going to tour around anywhere to distract herself from the stress and danger it would be the science building. It would be like a blast from the past. When Roxanne had still been in school she spent all her time in her campus science department or observatory (good place to study, really quiet.) She walks aimlessly around the empty halls of the first floor peeking in through a window or two until the sound of shitty music gains her attention and she follows it until she is looking in through the open door to the lab.- 

ROXANNE: Huh. -Looks like they were re-purposing rooms.-

ERIDAN: -Repurposing the rooms in a manner of speaking. The tables were lined with Eridan's "meager" collection of assault weapons. Everything ranging from harpoon guns to muskets, photon, and of course, the standard automatic was laid out on display.- 

ERIDAN: -Eridan himself was half sprawled over the professor's desk, having fallen asleep over maps of the Washington battle grounds next to his honest-to-god duct taped radio hull. The source of the static music.- (zzzz)

ROXANNE: -What a hero, what a pro.- 

ROXANNE: -Maybe she should just let him sleep, but tickle her curious at just why he was napping in a slightly redecorated lab while leaving dangerous weaponry about.- ROXANNE: Hm. -She knocks on the frame of the doorway to see if that will wake him up.-

ERIDAN: -SNORTS AWAKE, hunting knife almost instantly in his hand. Maybe he fell asleep with it? He lifts his head to peer blearily around, glasses askew.- zzzuhfuck -Spots Roxanne at the door, eyebrows furrowing until he's giving a mighty stretch at the desk.- 

ERIDAN: oh dammit 

ERIDAN: justa human -yawns toothily, using the pointy end of the knife to scratch at the base of his horns.- wwhats the commotion

ROXANNE: -Yep just a human 8) - 

ROXANNE: -Briefly flinches when he wakes up with a knife of all things.- Jeez ya' expecting certain company with that tooth pick? ...horn pick?

ERIDAN: surprised you aint similar wwise givven your situation -The horn pick feels good actually.... he casually keeps sweeping the blunt end along the wwavvy shape of his horns. The amphibious insectoid that he is, totally half asleep.- 

ERIDAN: mess hall aint this wway if youre lookin

ROXANNE: Man I'd be real dumb if I was lookin' for a bite to eat. 

ROXANNE: Surprise Im here to steal the guns you left out on the table for absolutely basically anyone to come and get. -jabs a thumb at the arms display. Do you get her point.-

ERIDAN: -gives her this LOOK.- wwhat 

ERIDAN: do you think im sendin these folks out there empty handed 

ERIDAN: kinda presumptuous a you assumin im runnin that kinda operation here

ERIDAN: takin is wwhat theyre FOR

ROXANNE: Right right i get that, but no sign in sheet or nothin'?

ROXANNE: Dang its like you got no respect for 'em. -Steps all the way in and eyes the collection close up. Some of these are nice.-

ROXANNE: Also seems dangerous.

ERIDAN: yeah probably thats also in essence the point -rubbing his eyes under his glasses and then reaches under his desk. Time to pour himself a drink.-

ROXANNE: -Picks up the automatic and looks it over, is it in good condition?- ROXANNE: Then you run a risky armory.

ERIDAN: meh -Damn. He has no more cups. Just swings back this rock n rye flavored faygo with a grimace.- 

ERIDAN: -All the rifles are in good condition. It's one of the few things Eridan gives a shit about enough to invest and maintain.-

ERIDAN: run your owwn armory if you wwanna criticize

ROXANNE: If I had plans ta' stick around i might. We could have a whole competition, best arms dealer wins.

ROXANNE: -Puts down the automatic and picks up the harpoon gun, inspecting it in quite the same manner and then aiming it at the opposite wall. Her finger isnt on the trigger of course, but shes never shot one before and wanted to try holding it.-

ERIDAN: run me outta business fine 

ERIDAN: so long as the job gets done -The safety's on and it gleams sharply in the flourescent lighting. A deadly harpoon, especially in the right hands.-

ROXANNE: -Noice. Its got a good weight to it.- Those are the words of someone plannin' on losing. 

ROXANNE: -Turns her head to flash him a small smile.- But like i said not stickin' around to do your job for you.

ERIDAN: yeah -What he's agreeing to, it's not apparent. He's just chugging more faygo, eyes drooping heavily.- mmmmh

ERIDAN: ought to pick one you like or somethin

ROXANNE: Hm? 

ROXANNE: ....Are you just gonna' give me a gun? -How sleepy IS this guy.-

ERIDAN: -fingers are knotted into his hair as he gives himself a massage around the temples- ...fuckin 

ERIDAN: yes i am 

ERIDAN: it aint that goddamn complicated sometimes a request or a question is just simple 

ERIDAN: not wwarrantin the necessity to react like youre batshit insane 

ERIDAN: i already had to deal wwith one a you

ERIDAN: or else just drop it clearly attempts at generosity or concern at you humans just aint wworth it

ROXANNE: Sorry consider me a lil' hesitant around strangers lately. 

ROXANNE: Thanks for the offer though, ill take ya' up on it. -Shes putting down the harpoon gun and taking one of the automatics. sure the spear was cool, but this would be a lot more useful later.-

ERIDAN: -reaching under his desk again. This time pulling out a twinkie, peeling apart the wrapper.- least you got your senses about you -mutters.-

ROXANNE: -Tucks that gun away safe and sound in her sylladex now before turning to watch eridan snack.- 

ROXANNE: So... besides hand out guns an' chug shitty soda brands, what else do you get up to in here?

ERIDAN: i aint in here most instances 

ERIDAN: im out and about runnin the operation a course 

ERIDAN: the fuck else wwould i be 

ERIDAN: besides sittin square wwith my thumb up my ass

ERIDAN: dealin wwith local patrols and organizin scouts for supplies and shit a that nature

ROXANNE: -She shrugs.- 'Dunno what else you would have been doing thats why I asked. 

ROXANNE: -Did they get rid of any of the tech in this lab?-

ERIDAN: -grunts. Nah, they didn't. But they did disembowel the computers for various things. Mainly so they wouldn't be used.-

ROXANNE: -She doesnt care too much about them being gutted, she just wants to look at them. She takes a seat at one of the counter tops and fiddles with the ripped open technology.- Hah. Ya' know its kinda' nice to see that not too much has changed in the sense of the standard open to public campus computers.

ERIDAN: i wwouldnt fuckin knoww 

ERIDAN: i aint gone to no humanclad univversity

ROXANNE: You sure missed out then.

ROXANNE: Human uni. is where it is at.

ERIDAN: -just. Stuffs this whole twinkie in his mouth. Chews balefully.- sounds like its a baised drawwn conclusion but alright

ROXANNE: Oh it absolutely is but its also the damn truth. 

ROXANNE: You ever had a "Week of Welcome" wherever you studied?

ROXANNE: Its crazy let me tell you.

ERIDAN: -fixes her with a dubious frown.- a wweak of wwelcome sounds like the traditionalistic ritual of testin the constitution newwly ascended trolls 

ERIDAN: vvia drowwnin their heads in load gapers and seein if they resuscitate afterwwards

ERIDAN: guess humans got more spine to them than i thought initially

ROXANNE: ......Wowie. 

ROXANNE: Nah we didn't do any of that. 

ROXANNE: It was basically a week of clubs an' academic society groups tryin' to out-do each other with fun or dumb activities.

ROXANNE: You could pet like seven dogs by the library. 

ROXANNE: Or get free pizza or cup cakes for shaking a teachers hand.

ROXANNE: Although sometimes you got to pay $20 to smash a car with a sludge hammer but that was more often around finals.

ERIDAN: so 

ERIDAN: youre sayin there aint some kind of mutilation or murder plots invvolvved 

ERIDAN: not evven a little

ROXANNE: Not usually.

ERIDAN: evven the recreational shits got some bite to it 

ERIDAN: ...huh -sips faygo thoughtfully.-

ROXANNE: Yep. School is a place for petting dogs, makin' the grades, and getting sloshed on a thursday night when you know you have a 8am lecture hall.  

ERIDAN: suppose i relate on some level -hmphs, unimpressed.- 

ERIDAN: but nothin too solid

ROXANNE: Thats okay. Lets agree to leave it as a cultural difference I guess

ERIDAN: fairs fair -sloshes down the rest of this lukewarm faygo. Disgusting.-

ERIDAN: im eridan

ROXANNE: -If its so gross dont drink it.- 

ROXANNE: -She turns around on her stool.- Nice to meet ya'. 

ROXANNE: Im Roxanne.

ERIDAN: uh sure -He DOUBTS it's nice to meet him but accepts this introduction anyhow.- dunno if i ought to point it out or nothin ERIDAN: but you aint lookin like the battlefield type so ERIDAN: noww im wonderin wwhat the shit youre doin taggin along the assassination brigade for

ERIDAN: it aint exactly the equivvalent to pizza and pettin puppies or wwhatevver the fuck

ROXANNE: Ya' aint wrong there. 

ROXANNE: Its kind of a long story. But to summarize why I'm goin' along on this crazy shoot the duo president mission is to make sure the dad of my infant daughter doesnt get himself killed in the process. 

ROXANNE: Plus I got no weekend plans.

ERIDAN: -He understands these words individually and is trying to piece them together into something comprehensible.- so outta obligation to your mate aka the sire a your offspring

ROXANNE: Mmmm, not technically either of those things. 

ROXANNE: But close enough. 

ROXANNE: Derek is my ex, and we adopted a lil' girl while we were still together.

ERIDAN: so it wwas a beforan style cullin ritual 

ERIDAN: wwherein the twwo a you havve obligation ovver some helpless wward 

ERIDAN: all the wwhile ditchin wwhat i presume wwas a romantic entanglement 

ERIDAN: but its enough for you to pledge loyalty enough to head facefirst into the troll davvy jones locker of suicide missions for 

ERIDAN: ...

ERIDAN: wwho the hell is this guy anywway

ROXANNE: Bingo. 

ROXANNE: Derek Strider. You'd know him if you met him. 

ROXANNE: About yay tall -Gestures the height.- kinda' full of himself. 

ROXANNE: Triangle shades.

ERIDAN: oh 

ERIDAN: him 

ERIDAN: .... 

ERIDAN: i dont see it

ROXANNE: -Snrks.- Dont see what? Him being a dad or the relationship?

ERIDAN: wwhy the shit hes wworth you dyin for 

ERIDAN: you aint even invvolvved anymore

ERIDAN: the risks real possible just FYI

ERIDAN: but on top of losin a dad your grubs riskin losin its mom too aint it 

ERIDAN: wway to fuckin go the both a you

ROXANNE: Yeah i know. 

ROXANNE: But hey if we both die then i dont have to tell my baby that her daddy died. -Yes, just smile the real truth away.-

ROXANNE: Nah but... caring about someone can make ya' do crazy shit.

ROXANNE: We may not be together anymore but it doesnt change the fact that I still love him in other ways.

ERIDAN: crazy shit like a plea for attention if i evver fuckin saww it 

ERIDAN: hey blowwhole look wwhat im puttin at risk for you 

ERIDAN: -snorts- bet he dont appreciate it none

ROXANNE: -Snrks.- Even if it was a cry for attention, 

ROXANNE: Which its not. 

ROXANNE: He might appreciate it at least a little.

ROXANNE: Or at least feel damn well guilty when its all over, haha.

ERIDAN: not appreciativve enough to vvalue your grubs livvelihood it dont look like ERIDAN: smfh wwhat do i knoww 

ERIDAN: just got a general sense a wwhat a guardians supposed to behavve to compare it to 

ERIDAN: and i wwas reared by a goddamn skyhorse scrod rest his fuckin soul

ROXANNE: Ya' probably know just about as much about proper parenting as me, to be honest. 

ROXANNE: Still workin' on that whole "Perfect suburban mom" deal.

ROXANNE: But he cares about her a lot. I think he just got his head dragged into this mission.

ROXANNE: Keep hoping he's gonna' snap out of it but maybe its his feelings from how hes about to have another baby with his wife that makes him feel like he needs to save the world.

ERIDAN: -grunts- i guess 

ERIDAN: still a fuckin shame says i 

ERIDAN: pitys gonna only go so far and in the ends its gotta be you and your owwn hide 

ERIDAN: the shit youre invvested in or wwhatever 

ERIDAN: wwardin the grub 

ERIDAN: cant be a bad thing 

ERIDAN: but youre wwastin your fuckin energy expectin anybody to change for you wwho aint done shit to try 

ERIDAN: except ask you to be there and vvalidate you feelin needed or wwhat not 

ERIDAN: makes the cycle addictivve -sighs out, staring off. Time to break out more faygos.-

ROXANNE: Well damn.

ROXANNE: This is some impromptu broken relationship advice or what.

ERIDAN: no -turns to her to deadpan.- its advvice on survvivin past tomorroww

ROXANNE: Oh i know im gonna'.

ERIDAN: the credits goin to you then 

ERIDAN: or him rather 

ERIDAN: hes the one in the front lines aint he 

ERIDAN: suspect much -asks it like a question. Suspect much??-

ROXANNE: Yeah he is. 

ROXANNE: But while derek has a big talk I also know he has the skills to back it up. 

ROXANNE: And I'm mostly tagging along to provide immediate cover for the kill group.

ERIDAN: right... -Sure Jan. He believes you.-

ROXANNE: What ya' dont believe i can do it?

ERIDAN: wwhats it matter wwhat i think 

ERIDAN: im the guy leavvin my wweaponry lyin strewwn about wwilly nilly

ROXANNE: ...... -Chuckles.- 

ROXANNE: Fair point.

ERIDAN: -slorps a new faygo. This one a grape flavored one.- 

ERIDAN: doesnt matter wwhat i say 

ERIDAN: its you and your time and wwho youre puttin it towwards 

ERIDAN: hope you get it back at the end of the day is all

ERIDAN: -says this because he's totally judging you, Rox.-

ROXANNE: -Seriously, How many sodas is this guy going to drink.- 

ROXANNE: -She shrugs. He is free to judge away, the plan is stupid and risky and she knows that by going into it she might die. But if there was anything she could do to help minimize the chance of any more casualties on this suicide run it would be worth it.- 

ROXANNE: Ya' know we've talked a lot about me, but what about you Eridan? 

ROXANNE: I could be wrong but ya' dont seem like the type to be visiting earth to get a load of our, albeit currently dying, culture. Is it the soda brands that caught your attention?

ERIDAN: the only thing wworth a damn to come outta earth if you ask me -snarks but it lacks bite. He just shrugs.- 

ERIDAN: just so happens i got a free wweekend too

ROXANNE: Aww really? Thats all you enjoy about it?

ERIDAN: you got decent pastries i guess -Don't aww at him...-

ROXANNE: Pastries and soda. 

ROXANNE: Well. Everyone's gotta have their favorites.

ERIDAN: sos you 

ERIDAN: it just so happens yours got pointshades

ROXANNE: -HRGH.- 

ROXANNE: Pft... Nah.

ERIDAN: youd die for it so 

ERIDAN: wwheres the fuckin lie tee bee ach

ROXANNE: I'm not going to die for him, because we're not going to die. 

ROXANNE: Also like I said before you can care about someone without them being your favorite.

ERIDAN: guess youre right 

ERIDAN: wwith that logic im layin my life on the line for a mime

ROXANNE: Is the mime your buddy?

ERIDAN: hell no 

ERIDAN: he dont evven like me and frankly i dont care for his foot wwear

ERIDAN: wwho am i kiddin 

ERIDAN: at least its consistant -just B/ at himself.-

ROXANNE: Pfft. 

ROXANNE: Hilarious. Well I havent met this mime but ill be keepin' an eye out for what shoes he's wearing.

ERIDAN: -lowkey fist clenching memes.- youll see it

[allcheatscodes]

animal crossing gamecube

http://allcheatscodes.com/animal-crossing-gamecube/

animal crossing gamecube

Animal Crossing cheats & more for GameCube (GameCube)

Cheats

Unlockables

Hints

Easter Eggs

Glitches

Guides

Get the updated and latest Animal Crossing cheats, unlockables, codes, hints, Easter eggs, glitches, tricks, tips, hacks, downloads, guides, hints, FAQs, walkthroughs, and more for GameCube (GameCube). AllCheatsCodes.com has all the codes you need to win every game you play!

Use the links above or scroll down to see all the GameCube cheats we have available for Animal Crossing.

Genre: Simulation, Pets

Developer: Nintendo

Publisher: Nintendo

ESRB Rating: Everyone

Release Date: September 16, 2002

Hints

36,720 Bells At Once!!

If you are a cheater like me you will love doing this. First you go to Tom Nook’s and go to the option “say code,” then enter the code for the jingle dresser (3 is the max you can do at once). Then open the presents and sell them. You will get 36,720 bells. Then to repeat this go and save and quit, and then go back (no time will need to be changed), and enter the code for the jingle dresser 3 times more. Note: This is a good hint for paying off your debt to Tom Nook.

IDIOT PELICANS!!!!

I just don’t understand the pelicans on this game. Normally you think there’s 3 pelicans on animal crossing right? Pelly the sweet day time post office lady pete the love sick delivery guy and phylis the grumpy night post office lady? WRONG! Actually there’s 4 pelicans! The one I speak of is “pelliper”. Pelliper is a sailor that doesn’t know how to swim, wears an EXTREMELY child like sailor costume and constantly washes up on the beach of you town. When you see him he looks like hes dead. But he isnt! All you have to do is keep talking to him and he’ll wake up! When he does he thinks you saved his life and thanks you with an extremely rare item he “borded off a seedy looking merchant in afar away land, you won’t find another like it! . At least I don’t think you will. ” (is what he says to you after he gives it to you). Now you can only find him on rare occasions, cause, well, its not every day a funny lookin’ pelican was his up on the beach, but you can ALWAYS find him during any festival that takes place: AT THE WELL! Some people don’t get that. No matter how big I type it. Any way good luck finding him hes, very, very, very, odd. p. S: when you talk to him he tells you about his travels and how his many gold fish were heart broken when he left them,. He gets one at every port. (thats the only reason I actually believe hes a REAL sailor, cuz he said he gets one “at every PORT”.

How To Catch ALL The Fish!!!

Fishes Found in

River, PondTimeCrucian carpAll year All dayCatfishAll year All daySmall bassAll year All dayBarbel SteedAll year All day DaceAll year, 4:00pm-9:00amBluegillAll year, 9:00am-4:00pm KoiAll year All dayBitterlingDec.-Feb. 4am-9pmLoachMay. 9am-4pmCarpAll year All dayPale chubAll year 9am-4pmLarge BassAll year All dayBassAll year All daySalmonSept. All dayPond smeltDec.-Feb. 4am-9pmAngelfishMay-Oct. 4pm-9amFreshwater gobyAll year All dayGuppyApr.-Nov. 9am-4pmRainbow TroutMar.Apr.Sept.Oct. 4am-9amEelJuly-Aug. 9pm-4amPopeyed GoldfishSept. 9am-4pmBrook TroutAll year All dayGiant CatfishJune-Aug. 4pm-9amGiant SnakeheadJuly-Aug. 9am-4pmKillifish (holding pond)Apr.-Aug. All day Large char(waterfall)Mar.June.4am-9pm Frog(holding pond)May-Aug.All day Cherry SalmonMar.-June 4am-9am ArowanaJune-Sept. 4am-9am StringfishDec.-Feb. 4pm-9am GoldfishAll year All daySweetfishJuly-Aug. 4am-9pmPirahnaJune-Sept. 9am-4pmArapaimaJuly-1st half of Sept. 4pm-9amCrawfishApr.-1st half of Sept. All day The following are caught in the oceanBarred KnifejawMar.-Nov. 4am-9amRed SnapperApr.-June 4pm-9amCoelacanth (when raining) All year 4pm-9am Jellyfish2nd half of Aug. All day

Nooks Expanshions

The more you buy or sell from nook the closer he gets to acomplishing his dream about having a big store. he has four expanshions he can have. Nook’s cranny, Nook ‘n go, Nookway, and Nokkington’s. Keep buyin’.

Get The Most Expensive (and Worthless) Item

Pay off your loan to Tom Nook. Start depositing bells. Deposit 999,999,999 bells to get a Model of the Post Office.

Free Paper From Nook!

When you start a new town/person and you are working for tom nook and when he tells you to write a letter take the paper and drop it outside and go back in and ask for more he will give it to you! Its that easy!

Free Stuff

Go to the police station everyday and say it’s yours.

Talk To Pete The Pelican

At exactly 9:00am or 5:00pm, wait around the bulletin board. At that time, Pete will come and take a landing to deliver your mail or other human player’s mail. While he’s delivering the mail, you have a chance to talk to him. Once he’s done delivering the mail, he’ll fly away, so you better be quick if you want to talk to him. He will just say stuff like I’m busy, don’t talk to me right now.

NES Games On The Go

When you play NES games on your GBA using a Nintendo Gamecube GBA link cable, just unplug the cable out of the GBA without turning it off and you will still be able to play the NES game on your GBA. That way, you can play it anywhere like on a trip.

April Fool’s Day

On April 1st, talk to main characters like Tom Nook or Copper and they will tell you an April Fool’s joke. Also try going to Tortimer the Mayor at the Wishing Well so he can give the NES game Super Tortimer along with an April Fool’s joke.

Blonka The Cat With No Face

Sometimes when you go on the train If you can’t see anyone in the back talking on the phone. A white cat with no face will walk up and sit where the other cat usually sits When She ask’s you whats wrong tell her “You got no face” Then she’ll ask you to draw her a face. This is quite fun to do. It’s quite sad for Blonka Because every time she washes her face she loses it.

How To Get Songs

Every Saturday night between 8:30 and 9:30 go up by the train station and there will be a white dog. Talk to him he will sing to you and what ever he sings to you, you will get that song to put in your place where you listen to music.

Run Rabbit Run!!

Have you ever gotten tired of always pressing the B button to run? I know I have! Well you can also hold down the L and the R buttons to run! Now you can run with only 1 hand!

Snowman Series

To collect pieces from the exclusive Snowman series you have to know how to make the perfect snowman! If you succeed at making your snowman perfectly you’ll receive a piece of snowman furniture from the snowman series. To own the complete series continue making perfect snowman (that is after your first one melted or you knocked it down).

Coconut Crave

If you visit your town’s local island you may notice there are several palm trees with coconuts growing on them. Well, of course you can eat them, but what fun would that be? Instead snag a couple of them and grow them on your own in your town! Cool-huh? The catch is that you only can grow the coconuts buy your ocean(beach). Which basically is all of the F arces!

Snowman

Don’t you just love the snow, well I do. In da winter time I like to make snowmen. Well in dis game you can to. First you find 2 snowballs and then you push them together and you make a snowman you will talk to him and he will give you special items!!

Dragonflies On Your Head

If you go to the insect room in the Musem, the dragon flies in there will land on your head. Note: You have to stand still for a while.

Double Bed

First, buy two beds. Then, push the beds together. Get on one and, press the control stick towards the other bed. You will roll over to the other bed. Note: This won’t work unless the beds are side by side and the feet and heads of the bed are faceing the same way. The beds don’t have to match either.

K.K. Comes

K.K. Slider everyone knows him but his REAL name is Totakeke (trust me i have the animal crossing cheat code book) well anyways every Saturday at 8:00 pm to midnight he will be by the train station go there and listen to some totally rad tunes!

Golden Stuff

To get a golden bug net, catch every type of fish there is.To get a golden net, catch every tye of bug.To get a golden shovel, first buy 2 shovels, then dig up a spot thats golden, (the hole where you dig up money) Drop the shovel in and bury it. Soon it will grow into a golden tree and when you shake it and a golden shovel will come down.

Live Anyware

This is kind of stupid because you will loose your house. To do it you need 2 memory cards. One with your town data and one with 3 avalable blocks. Talk to porter and say you are going on a trip with the memory card with town data in slot A and the other one in slot B. When he is done saving data take out the memory card in slot B. Say your you they’ll say you are traveling and are you sure you want to play. Say “sure”. Then as soon as you get out of your house, save and quit. Then when they ask “Are you all ready?” say “Before I go” and say other things, demolish a house of the person you want to live anywhere with. Make sure the memory card is out while you are doing this.

How To Get Free Flowers

When you start your game meet 1 person. Then go to Tom Nook. When he asks you to plant flowers go to your gyroid and say store an item. Store 4 flowers under display. Put the rest of the flowers in your house.

Always Talk To Mayor

Always talk to mayor when you see him he might give you a free item!

Fish Cheat

Ok this cheat takes a while so make sure you have some time on your hands.Take your fishing pole and go to the river in the A,B and C acers and fish there (stay in those acers) fill you pockets with fish you will most likely catch alot of Pond smelt barbel steed and cheap fish like that but when you pockets are full DONT GO SELL keep fishing and swaping fish you will start to catch alot of Bitterling Goldfish Large Bass Koi and some string fish witch are worth 15,000 bells.

Bug Hunting Tips

Bug Huntin Tips:1. You'll find a lot of butterflys near flowers on the island2. Um. I found a grasshopper on flowers on the island3. You'll have to be fast to catch dragonflys4. You can be fast to catch butterflys and ladybugs, but try to be soundless when aproaching.

Don

Resett the game many times.Eventually Don (Ressetis big bro.) will appear and insult Mr. Resseti.

Make Someone Mad Enough To Move Away

Okay this is stupid but who cares. First get a shovel then go find somone in you’re town and hit them on the head three times. After the last hit they will get really mad at you. Then they might move.

Multiply Your Money

To do this you must have 2 memory cards (one with town data and another without town data). First deposit all of your money into the post office. Then go save travel data onto your 2nd memory card. Now go back as the funny looking person without a face. Go and take out all of the money and drop it outside the post office, and save and quit. After that put the memory card with the travel data back in and the animal will say “Huh?” “You already came back from traveling. Then they will ask you if you want to continue. Press “Yes” now go back take the money that you dropped out side the post office. You will now notice that you have the same amount of money in the post office as you do in your inventory.

House Model And Manor Model

If your house is very stylish to the point where you get over 70,000 points from the Happy Room Academy, you will get a house model. If your house gets over 100,000 points you get a manor model. Also the models have the same color roof as your actual house.

Multiplayer

If you and a friend both happen to play animal crossing. And if you live in the same village. you will think of fun things to do with each other. I know four but i will only share one. Beacuse you should invent your own it would be alot funner for you. You can go bury something say in area c-4 then have your friend load up there character and have them go find it. Only one person can run around town at a time, you cant run into each others characters but you can still go and look in ther house and you can still find your animal friends.

Rocky Jackpot

Each day, one of the large rocks in your town will contain alot of bells. ( As you should know.) If you strike one that turns red keep hitting it for more bells, duh! Whats that you move out of place when you hit it? Oh that can be fixed. But DON’T hit the rocks at all yet. first dig three holes by the rock in a v shape pattern. ( You know what v’s look like dont you? the point of the v should be as close to the rock as possible.) Then get in the hole closest to the rock then hammer on the A button. you can get up to 13,300 bells a day, even more if you follow feng shei! REMEBER DO NOT HIT ANY OF THOSE STUPID ROCKS UNTIL YOU HAVE THE V SHAPED PATTERN DUG BY THE ROCK!!!!!!! Beacuse if you hit the rock before that you wont get a second chance. Well thats it I hope that hint was helpfull have fun playing. Happy gaming

Museum Model

To get the museum model all you have to do is fill in the museum with everything.

How To Get Rid Of A Mean Neighbor

Say you have Rolf as a neighbor and you can’t stand him anymore. OK, send him or her a letter but only say one letter like A. After that go to the dump see if you have a can or boot. Pick it up send it to the neighbor, and wait for a response of “I’m moving and I’m never coming back.”

Get All The Harvest Furniture In One Day!

As you know, to get the harvest furniture take the fork and knife from the table (go up to them and press the b button) and bring them back to the turkey guy. But you can do this more than once. After you give him the forks and knives go back and take them again and give it to him again until you have all the harvest material. This is good for bringing up your score in with the Happy Room Academy (HRA).

What Happen’s When You Pay Off Your House??

I’m here to say that i have succsefully payed off all of my debts to Mr. Nook, The prize isnt really all that great but if you like large golden statues of yourself then i think you’ll be interested in paying off your house. The easiest way to do this is to wait till its raining then go to teh ocean at 12:00 AM to catch teh colecaneth, then after you catch it about 2-5 times you can start to catch Red Snappers, Barred Knifejaw. Before you know it you’ll be running around town and watching over the train station at one time! �O ya!

How To Make Golden Trees Grow

If you are wondering why your Golden Trees are not growing? Here is your answer. First of all, the best time to grow a Golden Tree is in the spring. Second of all, you are most like likely to save your game and quit, and change the date to a differant date. But thats where you are wrong, you are suppost to chang the date to one day after you planted the money or shovel to get a Golden Tree.

See Mr. Ressesti While Listing To K.K.

If you have seen Mr. R at least 2 times then when K.K. is playing look in the top left corner of your screen when leaves strt falling to see him it whille be short. So be on your toes.

More Fruit Trees Than What You Have!

When you talk to somebody, it gives you 3 options: “Gimme a job”, “What’s up?”, or “My mistake”. They may not say those EXACT words, but they all do the same thing. When you talk to different animals to the point when they get EXTREMELY annoyed, they will some times want to trade you items if you have alot of them. They say things like “I’ve noticed that you have a Bell cricket with you, can I trade you this fruit?” Once you’ve gotten the fruit, BURY IT IN A HOLE! DO NOT EAT IT! The more you get, the better chance you have of them growing. The best part of this trick is: TOM NOOK PAYS YOU 500 BELLS FOR ANY EXOTIC FRUIT! Say it with me: Payoff?

House Expansion Info & Prices

Prices on upgrading your house is as follows.

Big Fish Prices

These are the prices for Big Fish on Animal Crossing:

Barred Jacknife= 5,000Stringfish= 15,000Coleceona= 20,000

Big Fish!!

On a rainy day from 12:00am to 1:00am you can catch a living fossel!!! This is what you have to have to catch that fish. 1. A fishing pole 2. Able to do this for a long time. Go to the ocean and search for fish. You can fish if you want. Walk don’t run or else you will scare the fish away! You Will find a bigger fish than usuall in a little bit of time. This is the best way I can explane this hint. Good luck fishing.

Prices For Houses

When you first need to pay off yor house it cost roughly 48,000 dollars her is a list of the rest of your future payments..

1)first upgrade= 178,000 dollars2)Basement= 49,000 dollars3)second upgrade= 398,000 dollars4)Attic/2nd floor= 789,000 dollars!!!

When you pay off all your house extentions something will go outside the train station for all to see. Im not telling what it is so you’re gunna have to work for it

Get Music Quick

To get music fast just set the clock ahead to a Saturday at 8:00 and then go talk to K.K. Slider and ask him to play you a tune then he will give you a copy and you’ll be able to listen to it on your stereo.Continue this intill you are satisfied with whatever songs you have.

Free Items

To do this, you need a friend with his own town and the item you want. Get him to get the code from Tom Nook for the item, then go enter it. Of course, you get the item. What most people don’t realize is, if you write the code down, you can enter it as many times as you want, getting that item free each time!! If you enter it three times, Tom won’t let you enter any more codes. Don’t panic. If you save and quit, you can do it three more times. If you have a really expensive item, (like the White King), you can get big money fast!

Special Feng Shui

Some itmes have special Feng Shui. Special Feng Shui means that the items can be placed anywhere in the home and they will still have a positive effect on your luck.

Special Feng Shui Items:G LogoHouse ModelMailboxFishing TrophySpring MedalPiggy BankManor ModelBig Festive TreeLuigi TrophyTreasure ChestAngler TrophyTissueSamurai SuitHinaningyoFestive TreeTanabata PalmHouse ModelDracaenaMario TrophyPost ModelAutumn Medal

Item Trading By Codes

This is one of the coolest and most unique features of the game. You can trade items with other people in other towns without the use of memory card trading. Find someone who wants an item that you are willing to trade off, then go to Tom Nook’s store. Select Other Things from the menu and the select Hear Code. Type in that person’s name and town name, and then give the item to Tom. This is the crucial part: make sure you get the code correctly or the item will be lost. He will give you a code that contains the recipient’s name and town, as well as what item it is, in crypted code. Give this code to the person that wanted that item and he would go to Nook and select Say Code and put in the code you gave him. Voila, he now has that item. Have him do the same to return the favor.

Pay Off Your Debt

There is a quick and easy way to pay off your debt to Tom Nook. At the beginning of the game, when you see the animal asking if you’re ready to go, select other opions, more options, and then set clock. Set the clock to Jan 1st. Check in your mail and there will be a letter with 10,000 bells in it. Save and repeat this process, adding on another year every time. Once you are done, deposit or keep the money, and change the clock back to normal time. The only side effect is that weeds have now grown all over your town. But dont worry about that. It took me about 45 minuets to take them all out. Anyway, I would only recommend doing this if you are paying back your second payment for your larger room because pulling up weeds is annoying. If you talk to him, he’ll ask you if you want to upgrade your house, or add a basement. The choice is yours, but I would definitely recommend a basement to store junk. (the HRA doesnt check your basement:-)

Extra Songs On Saturday

As you may know, you can only get one song from K.K. Slider every Saturday. To get more songs on the same day, travel to another village and get one from him there, or play the game in your village as another character that has been created. Then just put in the Gyroid for free and then you can claim it.

Expand Your House

If you pay off your debt to Tom Nook everytime he give ya one he will ask if you want to expand your house, if you say yes he will ask what color you want your roof, then he’ll say it will be expanded over night, then he’ll give you another fee (don’t expect ’em to be cheap they can go over 100,000,000 bells!!!!) but they only get bigger each time you expand your house so don’t worry about that for a long time, then he may also expand his shop too! But if you say you don’t want to expand your house oh well just live in a cramped house the rest of your game life.

Feng Shui

Certain items are feng shui items. Feng shui items bring good luck when recieving gifts or money management. Not every piece of furniture is a feng shui color but if you manage to get one put it in your house green is south orange is north red is east and yellow is west.

Special Visitor Tracker

Everyday you should go to cooper at the police station because he can tell you if anyone has come or is coming to town.

Tom Nooks Shop Expansion

If you buy and sell from Tom Nook all the time he may get new and better items. If you do it enough he may even make his shop bigger to hold more items.

Summertime Items

Sometimes in the summer people will take a vacation to your town. When they do they might give you a gift that you can only get from them.

Snowman Items

When snow is on the ground, the snowman may appear in two halves. Roll them together to recieve an item that you can only get from him.

Secret Items

If you have a gameboy advance, a gamboy advance to gamecube link cable, and the nintendo e-reader and the animal crossing cards you can get secret items on animal cross.

Extra Item Space

If you find yourself short of poket-space, fill up your letter part of the menu and put items as gifts attached to letters. It even works on letters recieved.

Moving Animals/Residents

If you made another town and your residents from YOUR town moved to it, here’s how to get them back! Every time you get on a train to visit a town and come back a resident moves to that town you visited. So, if you want them back make a new character in the other town the resedent moved to(unless you already have one) and go on the train and visit the town your other guy lives in and come back. One of the character has moved! These are random residents every time. keep taking a trip and back until all of the other residents moved back! Note: at least five residents must stay in one town!

Rare Fruits

Each town has a certain native fruit that can be sold in that town for 100 Bells. If you travel to another town, you can sell that fruit for a whopping 500 Bells. And the same goes in reverse. If you collect a foriegn fruit from another town, you can sell it in your town for 500 Bells apiece.

The Turnip Market

On Sundays, you can buy turnips from the travelling turnip sales-boar, Joan. Later that week, you can sell the turnips to Nook for a HUGE profit.

Wisp

Between midnight and 4am you can find a wisp or ghost around the town. Talk to him and he will give you a gift or pick all the weeds.

Easy Money

When bees appear from trees, take out your butterfly net and face the beehive. If you can catch a bee, you can sell it for $4500.Place orange furniture to the north, green furniture to the south, yellow furniture to the west, and red furniture to the east part of your house.Note: This trick requires a Game Boy Advance and a link cable. Play the game with the Game Boy Advance attached. Collect as much fruit as possible and travel all the way to the south. Go the pier at the beach. A Kappa will be there and will to bring you to a new island to the south. Get to the new island and drop all of your fruit. Return to the Kappa and leave. Transfer the island to the Game Boy Advance. On the Game Boy Advance, knock on the door to the house of the island animal. After it appears, move a piece of fruit in front of the animal. It will eat it and become happy. Keep repeating this until the animal drops money bags. Feed all your fruit to the animal, then put your Game Boy Advance on standby. Resume the game on the Gamecube. Go back to town, then return and talk to the Kappa again. Your game will now be updated with the Game Boy Advance data. Travel back to the island and collect the money bags.Go around town with your shovel and hit every rock you can find. One of them should turn red when you hit it. Keep hitting it to get more money.Every New Year your parents give you 10,000 bells. Change the system date on the Gamecube or in the Animal Crossing options and change the date to the new year. Check the mail box and you will have 10,000 bells from your parents. Repeat the process, but change the year.Dig for fossils every time you play. When the museum fills up with fossils, you can make a mint at Nook's or trade with residents for good items with fossils. Skulls of dinosaurs seem to be worth the most, usually bringing in 4,000 to 6,000.Play the Stalk Market. Turnips do not seem like that much of a commodity, but its gold in the game. You can make a fortune buying Turnips and selling them at the right price.

Fishing

If you are not catching the fish you want to catch, move to another section of the map and fish there. Some fish are only found in certain areas.When fishing, do not actually reel in the fish (press A) until you see the bobber go under the water.Fish at the ocean in the rain. You have a much greater chance of catching the Coelacanth. They sell for 15,000 a fish. Also, you have a greater chance of catching the Barred Knifejaw and Red Snapper. They sell for 5,000 and 3,000 respectively. Generally, fishing in the rain is much easier, but in the ocean, for easy money. Also, its easier to fish at night.

Skip Time

When the Gamecube logo appears, hold A + B to get to the memory card screen. You can change the system clock to whatever time you wish. Begin the game and you should start at that day.The game allows you to change the setting before you load it when beginning. When it asks "Are you ready?", the options are "Yes" and "Before I go". Select "Before I go" and it will allow you to change the game's time without changing with the system clock (which also effects other Gamecube games that rely on it) Also, if you have bought turnips to sell them in the Stalk Market and change the system clock or the game time, they may go bad. It depends on the amount of time -- the game remembers.Note: Play a little every day. While you can reset the game's clock and go to Nook's store, this gets old. Also, resetting the clock disrupts timed events that you do not know about. The game is filled with events that depend on month, day, and hour. It is better to just play the game as it unfolds. You will get more furniture, carpet, etc. this way. When you change the time, it disrupts the chain of events permanently and you may end up actually getting less new things then you would if you just played the game as it was supposed to be played.

Easy Items

One of the best ways to get new items that you cannot buy is to do work for the residents, and do it often. Do their little chores and they will (more often than not) reward you with things that are hard to come by in Nook’s store.Talk to people whenever you are near them. Sometimes they will ask you if you want to take a table or some clothes or other things off their hands. Also, do errands for people often. If there are no errands available you will only have to wait ten minutes.

Talking To People

When you are talking to residents, talk the same person repeatedly. Talking to them too much will upset them. However, in a few minutes they will get over it. By doing this, they will reveal more of the workings of Animal Crossing to you. You also stand a much greater chance of playing a game, getting free items, or trading things with them.

Golden Shovel

First, buy two shovels. Find a piece of glowing earth and dig it up. Then, plant a shovel in the glowing earth.

Golden Fishing Pole

Catch all 40 types of fish. Note: There may be more or less.

Golden Butterfly Net

Catch all 40 types of bugs.

Golden Axe

Get your town rating to be “Perfect” for two entire weeks. The Golden Axe is indestructible.

Growing A Money Tree

First, find a glowing piece of earth. Dig it up and you get a money bag. Plant the money bag in the glowing hole and a seedling will sprout, which will grow in to a money tree.

Getting NES Games

Talk to the townspeople until they ask you when your birthday is. Most of them will say something similar to “How would you like a train set for your birthday?” Answer “Yes” and you will put in your birthday. On your birthday, one of the townsfolk will be outside your house. He or she will present you with a NES. For example, Virgos will get Donkey Kong.

Mr. Resetti

Reset the Gamecube during the game. Start the game again and Mr. Resetti will appear to complain. Repeat this to make him more angry.

Cheats

30,000 Thousands Bells

WB2&pARAcnOwnU jMCK%hTk8JHyrT.

Universal Codes

Go to Tom Nook and enter in these codes for free stuff.

Jingle dresser:11AcKGI9JE#Jf@gHceoBLdG7Y%PEClassic chair:11ACK6I9JE#Jf@gHCeoBLaa7Y%PE

Song List

These are all of the songs that you can request from K.K. Slider and play on your own stereo. Make sure you put in the periods after the “k”‘s.

Aloha KKCafe KKComrade KKDJ KKGo KK RiderI Love YouImperial KKKK AriaKK BalladKK BluesKK BossaKK CalypsoKK CasbahKK ChoraleKK CondorKK CountryKK Cruisin'KK D & BKK DirgeKK EtudeKK FaireKK FolkKK FusionKK GumboKK JazzKK LamentKK Love SongKK LullabyKK MamboKK MarchKK ParadeKK RagtimeKK RaggaeKK RockKK SafariKK SalsaKK SambeKK SkaKK SongKK SoulKK SteppeKK SwingKK TangoKK TechnopopKK WaltzKK WesternLucky KKMr. KKOnly MeRockin' KKSenor KKSoulful KKSurfin' KKThe K. FunkTwo Days Ago

Universal Code:Golden Rod

Y%9FUKhrekPQ6

a3M#4&f3bdAZLjf

Tell:Tom Nook.

Universal Code: 100,000 bells

wB32ParacrOWnuJmCk%Iul8jhYRtTell: Tom Nook

Autumn Medal

HortoftendendYSortoftendenyG

Gracie’s Top

Tell to Tom Nook:

4UTG548uQKQZGfln#%jTLEqj5ZBf

Crab Stew

dhatHaveYouGotForMeTqdayNook

Universal Codes

100 Turnips Code:aPShDyYoeR685bafcAlkwcRCmqi3Tell Tom Nook100 Turnips Code:mRSMDqYokR685s&%OL&kwcRCmqi3Tell: Villager8 Mat Tatami Code: sqo9cb#3UaKHs3Tell: Tom Nook8 Mat Tatami Code: sqo9cb#3UaKHs3Tell: VillagerAngler Trophy Code: sf09cb#9vaKHL4Tell: Tom NookAzalea Bonsai Code:NmxIGWIeSLYAACt6iMwbzCGvFs&QTell: Tom NookBackpack Code: sqO9cb#9UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookBalloon Fight Code:CbDahLBdaDh98d9ub8ExzZKwu7ZlTell: Tom NookBarbecue Code:aPYhDyYoeR685bafZBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookBarber's Pole Code:TGGu@@Zzfuq#0zb3Nn27lGVImPGGTell: Tom NookBarber's Pole Code:axxxxxxxxxxxxx Tell: VillagerBig Festive Tree Code:lLhuwvEDA33emAdbgnvzbCIBAsyUTell: Tom NookBilliard Table Code:NmxIGWIeSLYAACu6iMwbzCGvFs&QTell: Tom NookBirthday Cake Code:Q6&6KQom9DzR358foDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookBiwa Lute Code:l6&6KQom9DzR35kfLDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookBlack Bishop Code:aDSLDyYoeR685bafRBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookBlack King Code:lLhuwvEDA23fmAdsgnvzbCIBAsyUTell: Tom NookBlack Rook Code:aDShHyYoeR685bafyBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookBlack Queen Code:1LhuwvEDA22fmAdagnvzbCvBAsyUTell: Tom NookBluebell Fan Code:NmxIGWIeSLYFFCu6iMwbzCGvFsnQTell: VillagerBlue Clock Code:2%Q2fhMKhAyAY305yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookBlue Corner Code: sqO9cb#3UaKHs4Tell: Tom NookBlue Wardrobe Code:n1ACK6I9JE#Jf@gHCeoBLaa7y%tETell: Tom NookBonfire Code: sh09cb#9UaKH84Tell: Tom NookBoxing Barricade Code: sh09cb#9UaKHb4Tell: Tom NookBoxing Mat Code: sqO9cb#3UaKHq5Tell: Tom NookBoxing Mat Code: sq09cb39Vak#84Tell: VillagerBug Zapper Code:cPYhDyYoeR685bafZBlkwcRCmqiRTell Tom NookCabana Bed Code:B6&6KQom9DzR35DfkDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookCabana Chair Code:2%QafhMKhAyAY3Z5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookCabana Screen Code:2%Q3fhMdRByAY3Z5yYAK9zyHxLo7Tell: VillagerCabin Dresser Code:11AcKGI9JE#Jf@gHcebBLdG7Y%PETell: Tom NookCafe K.K. Code:jePccCvLTRJoBApcddkwe9ej9wO4Tell: VillagerCannon Code:IRSMDqYokR685s&%LO&kwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookCannon Code:IUSMDqYokR685s&KLO&2wcRCmqi3Tell: VillagerCello Code:2%QqfhMeRByAY3OKyYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookChalk Board Code:aDShHyYoeR685bafxBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookChowder Code: sh09cb&9UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookClassic Cabinet Code:2VzAOxZiZ3oGFI Tell: VillagerClassic Chair Code:11ACK6I9JE#Jf@gHCeoBLaa7Y%PETell: Tom NookClassic Hutch Code: sh&9cb#9Uh9w04Tell: Tom NookClassic Sofa Code:B6&6KQom9DzR35RfyDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookClu Clu Land Code:Crm%h4BNRyu98d9uu8exzZKwu7ZlTell: Tom NookCoin Code: sh09cb39UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookCompass Code:adShDyYoeR685bPfQBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookCooler Code: sh09cb&9UaKHI4Tell: Tom NookCosmos Model 1 Code:cISIHBYokR685s&%LO&kwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookCosmos Model 1 Code:cISIHBcB3iadra&%LO&kwcRCmqi3Tell: VillagerCosmos Model 2 Code: sh09cb#9UaKHA4Tell: Tom NookCosmos Model 3 Code: sh09cb#9UaKHl4Tell: Tom NookCroakoid Code:iPFhDyYoeR%85bufkBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: VillagerDaisy Meadow Code:2Ea4vQLlTUq325ajQpZfAv9wfYw#Tell: Tom NookDesert Cactus Code: sh09cb#9UaKH84Tell: Tom NookDesert Vista Code:gES58yYoev685bBfMBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookDetour Arrow Code:cAQifhGeBsyjYcnqBYAKxjeFdjopTell: Tom NookDice Stereo Code:1LhuwvEDA33fmAdbgnvzbCIBAsyUTell: Tom NookDjimbe Drum Code:4PqRIYFs8D5tX2U4TIZBKWagsKXiTell: VillagerDolly Code:aPShDyYoeR685bPfbBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookDonkey Kong Code: %8JUjE5fjljcGr4%ync5EUpTell: Tom NookDonkey Kong Jr. MATH Code:bA5PC%8JUjE5fjljcGr4%ync5EUpTell: Tom NookDonkey Kong Jr. MATH Code:jePccCvLTRJoBApcddkwe9ej9rc4Tell: VillagerDraceana Code:xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Tell: VillagerDump Model Code:LLhOwvrDA22fmtdagnvzbCIBAsydTell: Tom NookEbony Piano Code:2%Q3fhMeRByAY3Z5yYAK9zcHxLo7Tell: VillagerEbony Piano Code:2%QRfhMdRByAY3O5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookElephant Slide Code:NmxIGWIeSLYAACu6iMwbzCGvFsn#Tell: Tom NookExcitebike Code:3%Q4fhMTRByAY305yYAK9zNHxLd7Tell: Tom NookExcitebike Code:3%s4fhMCRByAY305yYAK9zNHxLd7Tell: VillagerExotic Bed Code:2%Q2fhVtRByAY3O5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookFan Fan Code:cAQifhGeBsyjYcvqPYAKGaeFdjopTell: Tom NookFestive Tree Code:aDSLDyYoeR685bafoBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookFireflower Code1kT1D0Y4k3685184L613wcRCmqirTell: Tom NookFlagpole Code: sqO9cb39Vak#84Tell: Tom NookFlying Saucer Code:2%Q3EhMeRByAY3n5yYAK9zcHxLo7Tell: VillagerFolding Chair Code:B6&6KQom9DzR358fkDC4%EEpCmiRGarbage Can Code:2%43EhMeRByAY3Z5yYAK9zcHxLo7Tell: VillagerGarden Pond Code:2%Q2fhVeRByAY3Z5yYAK9z9HxLo7Tell: Tom NookGargloid Code:dq%cugkN&in76hy%TIL3HUo3QYqdTell: Tom NookGerbera Code:2%42fhMtRByAY3O5yYAK9zgHxLo7Tell: Tom NookGlow Clock Code:aDShDyYoeR685bafaBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookGolf Code:Crm%h4BNRbu98d9un8exzZKwo7ZlTell: NookGreen Desk Code:aD%3RxM3M#X3aoQPRxO8Q8xEITqvTell: VillagerGreen Drum Code2%Q2fhVeRByAY3Z5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookHamster Cage Code:vPdhDyYoeR685bafZBlkwcRCmqi3Tell Tom NookHandcart Code:2%Q2fhMeRByAY3Z5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookHandcart Code:2%Q2fhMeRByAY3Z5yYAK9zNfxLo7Tell: VillagerHarp Code:xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Tell: VillagerHarmonoid Code: sq09cb#3UaKHs3Tell: Tom NookHarvest Bureau Code: sqO9cb#3UaKHP5Tell: Tom Nook>Harvest Chair Code:ifc74nVlY%zoI4 Tell: Tom NookHarvest Clock Code:R5ngoARS6I3iVLy&M6IJyNoWUBW4Tell: Tom NookHarvest Clock Code:R5ngoARS6I3iVLy&M6IJyNoWUBW4Tell: VillagerHarvest Dresser Code: sqO9cb#9UaKHI4Tell: Tom NookHarvest T.V. Code:vPSYDyYoeR685bafZBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookHarvest Wall Code:aPShDyYoeR685bAfhBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookHawthorn BonsaiNmxIGWIeSLYAACt6iMwbzCGvFs&bTell: Tom NookHi Fi Stereo Code:1LhuwvEDA22emAdbgnvzbCvBAsyUTell: Tom NookHigh-End Stereo Code:aDSLDyYoeR685bafaBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookHinaningyo Code:PD%3RxM3M#X3ao4PRxO8Q8xEITqvTell: VillagerHouse Model Code:aRShDyYoeR685bafZBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookHowloid Code: shO9cb#9UaKHL1Tell: Tom NookImperial KK Code:3%J%cCcdSxWiItgivJsjsAznGVDBTell: Tom NookImperial Wall:gaSX8yYoeR685bzfMBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookIron Frame Code:2%Q3EhMeRByAY305yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookJack-in-the-Box Code:2%Q2fhVehAyAY3Z5yYAK9zhHxLo7Tell: Tom NookJack-in-the-Box Code:NmxIGWIeSLYAACDriMwbzCGvFs&QTell: VillagerJack-o'-Lantern Code:2%Q2fhMURByAY3Z5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookJack-o'-Lantern Code:2%Q2fhMeRByAY3Z5yYAK9zcHxLo7Tell: VillagerJasmine Bonsai2%Q2fhVeRByAY3O5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookJingle Bed Code:aPShHyYoeR685bafvBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookJingle Dresser Code:11AcKGI9JE#Jf@gHceoBLdG7Y%PETell: Tom NookJingle Lamp Code:aPShDyYoeR685bafTBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookJingle Piano Code:aDShHyYoeR685bafEBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookJingle Sofa Code:aPShDyYoeR685bafhBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookJingle Table Code:lLhuwvEDA33emAdbgnvzbCvBAsyUTell:Tom NookJukebox Code:a#S8UItokM6850h%LO&kwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookKayak Code: shO9cb#9UaKHo4Tell: Tom NookKiddie Bookcase Code:aPSLHyYoeR685bafoBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookKiddie Stereo Code:6LhuwvEDA23fmAdbgnvzbCIBAsyUTell: Tom NookKiddie Table Code:QtiXgIAGfe2AI7WwBZBBWW&PulBcTell: Tom NookK.K. Condor Code:Oqtjq2f&4MOru9IM8dr2pYkxqla#Tell: Tom NookK. K. "I Love you" Code:69UFKKdcMs%Qrs Tell: Tom NookK.K. "Only Me" Code:69UIKKdcMs%Qrs Tell: Tom NookKK Rock Code:69UIKkdcMs%Qrs Tell: Tom NookK.K. Ska Code:1CT1DOY4k36851r4#613wcRCmqirTell: Tom NookK.K. Steppe Code:3%J%wCcdSxWiItgivJMjsAznGVDBTell: Tom NookK.K. Western Code: sz09bc#9pbFKb4Tell: Tom NookKoopa Shell Code: shO9cb#9UaKHs4Tell: Tom NookLady Liberty Code:LLhOwvrDA23fmtdsgnvzbCvBAsydTell: Tom NookLantern Code:zkT1D0Y4k36851847613wcRCmqirTell: Tom NookLawn Mower Code: sh09cb#9UaKH84Tell: Tom NookLeaning Stone2%Q2fhVeRByAY3O5yYAK9znHxLo7Tell: Tom NookLefty Desk Code:aPKhDyYoeR685bafZBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookLemon Table Code:NmxIGWIeSLYAABtrwMwbzCGvFs&QTell: Tom NookLemon Table:umxIGWIeHLYAABtrwMwbzCGvFs&QTell: VillagerLighthouse Model Code:aRSLDyYoeR685bafoBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookLocomotive Model Code:a&SLDyYoeR685bafRBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookLovely Armchair Code:Q6&6KQom9DzR358fLDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookLovely End Table Code:4u&x5fw9GINwLS9ljjHSoLwZMD7&Tell: Tom NookLovely Kitchen Code:B6&6KQom9DzR35kfLDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookLuigi Trophy Code:BCQ4iZFK%i5xqoSnyrjcrwAeDMkQTell: Tom NookLunar Lander2%Q2fhMehAyAY3O5yYAK9zaHxLo7Tell: Tom NookManor Model Code:aRShHyYoeR685baf&BlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookMega Alloid Code:aPFhDyYoeR%85bufkBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: VillagerMega Bovoid Code:Aq%cugkN&in76hV%TIL3HUo3QYbdTell: Tom NookMega Buzziod Code:Aq%cugkN&in76hV%TIL3HUo3QYEdTell: Tom NookMega Croakoid Code:3Na1DOY4Q36851&In613Rc%CmqirTell: Tom NookMega Dinkoid2%Q2fhVtRByAY3Z5yYAK9zaHxLo7Tell: Tom NookMega Drilloid Code: sq09cb39UaKHs1Tell: Tom NookMega Fizzoid2%Q2fhVthAyAY3Z5yYAK9zpHxLo7Tell: Tom NookMega Gongoid Code:2%42fhVtRByAY3Z5yYAK9zfHxLo7Tell: Tom NookMega Harmonoid Code: sh09cb#9Vak#I1Tell: Tom NookMega Lullaloid Code: sh09cb#9UaKHs3Tell: Tom NookMega Oboid Code:aPShDyYoeR685bafLOlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookMega Percoloid Code: sq09cb39Vak#83Tell: Tom NookMega PlinkoidaPShDyYoeR685bafDOlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookMega Puffoid Code: sh09cb39Vak#I8Tell: Tom NookMega Quazoid Code:2%Q3fhMiRByAY3Z5yAYK9zcHxLo7Tell: VillagerMega SproidAscNVAY#qoI4 Tell: VillagerMega Squelchoid Code: sq09cb39vek#z1Tell: Tom NookMetatoid Code:Aq%cugkN&in76hy%TIL3HUo3QYEdTell: Tom NookMiniature Car Code:aRShDyYoeR685bPfqBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookMini Buzzoid Code:Aq%cugkN&in76hy%TIL3HUo3QYqgTell: Tom NookMini Drilloid Code: sq09cb39UaKHs1Tell: Tom NookMini Echoid2%Q2fhVthAyAY3 Tell: Tom NookMini Fizzoid Code2%Q3EhMtRByAY3n5yYAK9zgHxLo7Tell: Tom NookMini Fizzoid Code:2%Q3EhMtRByAY3n5yYAK9zlHxLo7Tell: VillagerMini Harminoid1FThDOY4k3685184U613wcRCmqirTell: Tom NookMini Howloid Code:1CT1DOY4k3685184#613wcRCmqirTell: Tom NookMini Lulaboid Code: sh09cb#9Vak9I8Tell: Tom NookMini Nebuloid Code: sq09cb39vqk#01Tell: Tom NookMini Rhythmoid Code: sh09cb#9UaKHI1Tell: Tom NookMini Rustoid Code:1FThDOY4k3685184s613wcRCmqirTell: Tom NookMini Sproid Code:aq%iugkN&in76hy%TIL3HUo3QYEdTell: Tom NookMini Sputnoid2%Q2fhMthAyAY3O5yYAK9zxHxLo7Tell: Tom NookMini Warbloid Code:Aq%cugkN&in76hy%TIL3HUo3QYEuTell: Tom NookModern Desk Code:TGGu@@Zzfuq#0zz3Nn27IGVlmPGGTell: Tom NookModern Dresser Code: shO9cb#9Uh9wO4Tell: Tom NookModern Lamp Code:b6ZsCg6gM%RJudyqq2dhMduKC&DrTell: VillagerModern Sofa:xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Tell: VillagerMuseum Model Code:LLhOwvrDA22fmtdagnvzbCvBAsyUTell: Tom NookNaomi Figurine Code:Q6&6KQom9DzR35kfyDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookNeutral Corner Code: sqO9cb#3UaKHL5Tell: Tom NookNeutral Corner Code:4UFdTp48GZ3HW3dw#%jtLEqj5ZBfTell: VillagerN Logo Code:MuQx5fw9GINwLS9ljjHSoLwZMD7&Tell: Tom NookNoisemaker Code: sqO9cb#9Vak#84Tell: Tom NookOboid Code: sh09cb#9UaKH67Tell: Tom NookOdd Clock Code:aDShDyYoeR685bafZBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookOdd Clock:WDShDyYoeR685bHVZBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: VillagerOombloid2%Q2fhVthAyAY3Z5yYAK9zCHxLo7Tell: Tom NookOrange Box Code:rNkGuNubwCYx4OOp5XbBP6PxGsc9Tell: VillagerOwl Clock Code:aPSLDyYoeR685bafoBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookPapa Bear Code:11ACK6I9JE#Jf@gHCeoBLaa7y%PETell: Tom NookPansy Model 1 Code: sq09cb#9UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookPansy Model 2 Code: Tell: VillagerPear Dresser Code: shO9cb#9Uh9wO4Tell: Tom NookPear Wardrobe Code:11AcKGI9JE#Jf@gHcE3BLdG7Y%PETell: VillagerPine Chair Code:NmxIGWIeSLYAACt6sMwbzCGvFs&bTell: Tom NookPink Tree Model Code:aRShHyYoeR685bafBBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookPlate Armor Code:a&ShHyYoeR685baf%BlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookPlinkoid Code: sh09cb39Vak#I8Tell: Tom NookPlinkoid Code: sh09cb39Vak#q1Tell: VillagerPond Lantern Code:NmxIGWIeSLYAACu6iMwbzCGvFsn&Tell: Tom NookPropane Stove Code: sh09cb#9UaKHI4Tell: Tom NookPropane Stove Code:GSgE&zpk3NzKqcpaV#9GrTzxiyCdTell: VillagerQuazoid Code:dq%cugkN&in76hV%TIL3HUo3QYbuTell: Tom NookQuestion Block Code: sh09cb#9UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookQuince Bonsai Code:2%Q2fhMNRByAY305yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookRed Boom Box Code:aDShDyYoeR685bafBBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookRed Corner Code: sh09cb#9Vak#I4Tell: Tom NookRegal Armoire Code: shO9cb#9Uh9wO4Tell: Tom NookRegal Bed2%Q2fhVthAyAY3O5yYAK9zjHxLo7Tell: Tom NookRegal Chair Code:Q6&6KQom9DzR35DfyDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookRegal Lamp Code:2%Q3fhMKRByAY3Z5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookRegal Sofa Code:2%QYfhMdRByAY3O5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell:Tom NookRegal Table Code:Mu&x5fw9GINwLS9ljjHSoLwZMD7&Tell: Tom NookRetro Stereo Code:B6&6KQom9DzR35RfLDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookRetro TV Code:B6&6KQom9DzR35DfoDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookRhythmoid Code: sh09cb#9UaKHBETell: Tom NookRingside Table Code:1kThDOY4k3685184U613wcRCmqirTell: Tom NookRockin K.K. Code:69UiKKdcMs%Qrs Tell: Tom NookRound Cactus Code:NmxIGWIeSLYAACu6iMwbzCGvFsnjTell: Tom NookRuby-Econo Chair Code:B6&6KQom9DzR358foDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookSamurai Suit Code:aPShHyYoeR685bafBBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookSaw Horse Code:vP5hDyYoeR685bafZBlkwcRCmqiRTell: Tom NookScale Code:2%Q2fhMdRbyAY3O5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookShop Model Code:alShDyYoeR685bPfbBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookSleeping Bag Code: shO9cb#7UaKHl4Tell: Tom NookSlim Nebuloid Code:1FThDOY4k3685184#613wcRCmqirTell: Tom NookSlim Quazoid Code: shO9cb39UaKHs3Tell: Tom NookSnowman Code:a&ShHyYoeR685bafyBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookSpace Heater Code:11ACKGI9JE#JF@GHCEOBLDG7Y%PETell: Tom NookSpace Shuttle Code:2%Q2fhMKhAyAY3Z5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookSpace Station Code:2%42fhMtRByAY3Z5yYAK9zfHxLo7Tell: Tom NookSpeed Bag Code: sqO9cb#9UaKHI4Tell: Tom NookSpeed Sign Code:vPYhDyYoeR685bafZBlkwcRCmqiRTell: Tom NookSpooky Clock Code:2%Q2fhMKRByAY305yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookSpooky Dresser Code: shO9cb#9Uh9wO4Tell: Tom NookSpooky Sofa2%Q2fhVehAyAY3O5yYAK9zJHxLo7Tell: Tom NookSpooky Table Code:2%Q3EhMeRByAY3Z5yYAK9zcHxLo7Tell: VillagerSpooky Vanity Code:2%Q2fhMdRByAY3O5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookSpooky Vanity2%Q3EhMtRByAY3n5yYAK9zdHxLo7Tell: VillagerSpooky Wardrobe2%Q8SuMeRByAY3K5yYAK9zAHxLo7Tell: VillagerSprinkler Code: shO9cb#9UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookSquat Nebuloid Code: sh09cb39vqk#01Tell: Tom NookSquelchoid Code: shO9cb37UaKHLETell: Tom NookStanding Stone Code:2%QzfhVeRByAY3O5yYAK9zNHyLo7Tell: Tom NookStarman Code: sh09cb#9UaKHI4Tell: Tom NookStation Model 1 Code:1LhOwvrDA23fmtdsgnvzbCIBAsydTell: Tom NookStation Model 2 Code:a&SLHyYoeR685bafqBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookStation Model 6 Code:a&SLDyYoeR685bafoBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookStation Model 11 Code:ILhOwvrDA23fmtdsgnvzbCIBAsydTell: Tom NookStation Model 13 Code:aRSLHyYoeR685bafoBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookStation Model 14 Code:aRSLDyYoeR685bafRBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookStrange Painting Code:NmxIGWIeSLYAACu6iMwbzCGvFsnQTell: Tom NookStone Coin Code:aPShDyYoeR685bPfBBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookStone Couple2%Q2fhVehAyAY3Z5yYAK9zpHxLo7Tell: Tom NookStrumbloid Code: shO9cb39UaKHs1Tell: Tom NookSuper Mushroom Code: sh09cb39Vak#I4Tell: Tom NookSuper Mushroom Code: sh09cb39Vak#I4Tell: VillagerTable Tennis Code:NmxIGWIeSLYAACu6iMwbzCGvFs&jTell: Tom NookTaiko Drum Code: @DSfEcC6YLYybGMoMyTell: VillagerTailor Model Code:a&SLHyYoeR685bafQBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookTall Buzzoid Code:3ea1DOY4Q36851&In613Rc%CmqirTell: Tom NookTall Clankoid Code:aq%cugkN&in76hV%TIL3HUo3QYEuTell:Tom NookTall Echoid:2%Q3EhMtRByAY3Z5yYAK9zxHxLo7Tell: Tom NookTall Lamentoid Code:gfc82NV1Y#zoI4 Tell: Tom NookTall Lullaboid Code: sh09cb#9UaKHB3Tell: Tom NookTall Oboid Code:1CT1DOY4k3685184I613wcRCmqirTell: Tom NookTall Oombloid Code:2%42fhMtRByAY3O5yYAK9zeHxLo7Tell: Tom NookTall Poltergoid Code:Fsy74NV1Y#zoI4 Tell to: Tom NookTall Puffoid Code: sh09cb49UaKHL3Tell: Tom NookTall Nebuloid Code: sh09cb#9UaKHI3Tell: Tom NookTall Sputnoid2%Q2fhVtRByAY3O5yYAK9zfHxLo7Tell: Tom NookTall Strumboid Code: sAO9cb39UaKHA3Tell: Tom NookTape Deck Code:aPSLDyYoeR685bafZBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookTatami Floor Code: sqodcb#3UaKHs3Tell: VillagerTea Set Code:2%Q2fhMKRByAY3Z5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookTennis Code:jePccCvLTRJoBApcddkwe9ej9rO4Tell: VillagerTent Model Code: sh09cb#9Vak#I4Tell: Tom NookTimpano Drum Code:4u&x5fw9GINwLSfljjHSoLwZMD7&Tell: Tom NookTrack Model Code:a&SLeyYoeR685bafRBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookTrash Bin2%Q2fhVehAyAY3O5yYAK9zgHxLo7Tell: Tom NookT-Rex SkullQtiXgIAGfe2AI7WwBZBBWW#PulBcTell: Tom NookT-Rex Tail Code:1LhuwvEDA22fmAdbgnvzbCvBAsyUTell: Tom NookTricera Skull Code:aDSLHyYoeR685bafBBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookTulip Model 1 Code: sq09cb#3UaKHP5Tell: Tom NookTulip Model 2 Code: scO9cb#9UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookTulip Model 3 Code: sc09cb#9Vak#I4Tell: Tom NookTulip Model 3 Code: @sTRJsYYsh09cb38Vak#I4Vaulting Horse Code:umxIGWIxSLYAABtrwMwbzCGvFs&QTell: Tom NookViolin2%Q2fhMehAyAY3 Tell: Tom NookWagon Wheel Code: sh09cb39UaKHL4Tell:Tom NookWatering TroughvPdhDyYoei685bafZBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookWatermelon Table Code:cAQifhGeBsyjYcyqyYAKxjeFdjopTell: Tom NookWarbloid Code:aq%cugkN&in76hy%TIL3HUo3QYEdTell: Tom NookWeight Bench Code: sh09cb39UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookWell Code: Tell: Tom NookWell Model Code:a&ShHyYoeR685bafABlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookWhite Golf Bag Code:Q6&6KQom9DzR35RfyDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookWhite King Code:aPShDyYoeR685bafbBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookWhite Knight Code: shO9cb#9Uh9HO4Tell: VillagerWhite Pawn Code:RtiXgIAGfe2AI7WwBZBBWW#PulycTell: Tom NookWhite Queen Code:aPShDyYoeR685baf%BlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookWhite Rook Code:aPSLHyYoeR685bafxBlkwcRCmqi3Tell: Tom NookWriting Chair Code:Q6&6KQom9DzR35DfkDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookYellow Pinwheel Code:cAQifhGeBsyjYcEqyYAKxjeFdjopTell: Tom NookYuki Figurine Code:B6&6KQom9DzR35kfoDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom Nook

Universal Code

100 Turnips - aPShDyYoeR685b afcAlkwcRCmqi3Teller - Tom NookTip - There will never be a one or a zero in any password in Animal Crossing.

Universal Codes

This is the list of every Universal code found so far.

Angler Trophy: sf09cb#9vaKHL4Tell: Tom NookAzalea Bonsai Code:NmxIGWIeSLYAACt6iMwbzCGvFs&Q Tell: Tom NookBackpack Code: sqO9cb#9UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookBarber's Pole Code:TGGu@@Zzfuq#0zb3Nn27lGVImPGGTell: Tom NookBig Festive Tree Code:lLhuwvEDA33emAdbgnvzbCIBAsyUTell: Tom NookBilliard Table Code:NmxIGWIeSLYAACu6iMwbzCGvFs&Q Tell: Tom Nook Blue Clock Code:2%Q2fhMKhAyAY305yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookBlue Corner Code: sqO9cb#3UaKHs4Tell: Tom NookBonfire Code: sh09cb#9UaKH84Tell: Tom NookBoxing Barricade Code: sh09cb#9UaKHb4Tell: Tom NookBoxing Mat Code: sqO9cb#3UaKHq5Tell: Tom NookCabana Bed Code:B6&6KQom9DzR35DfkDC4%EEpCmiR Tell: Tom NookCabana Chair Code:2%QafhMKhAyAY3Z5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookCabana Screen Code:2%Q3fhMdRByAY3Z5yYAK9zyHxLo7Tell: VillagerCabin Dresser Code:11AcKGI9JE#Jf@gHcebBLdG7Y%PETell: Tom NookCello Code:2%QqfhMeRByAY3OKyYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookChowder Code: sh09cb&9UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookClassic Chair Code:11ACK6I9JE#Jf@gHCeoBLaa7Y%PETell: Tom NookClassic Sofa Code:B6&6KQom9DzR35RfyDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookCoin Code:Ai9GES@sTRJsYzsh09cb39UaKHL4 Tell: Tom NookCosmos Model 2 Code:Ai9xES@sTRJsAAsh09cb#9UaKHA4Tell: Tom NookCosmos Model 3 Code:fi9xES@sTRJhAAsh09cb#9UaKHl4Tell: Tom NookDesert Cactus:8i9xES@sTRJsAAsh09cb#9UaKH84Tell: Tom NookDetour Arrow Code:cAQifhGeBsyjYcnqBYAKxjeFdjopTell: Tom NookDraceana Code:xxxxxxxxxxxxxxS6nY2JIFOGE@izTell: VillagerEbony Piano Code:2%Q3fhMeRByAY3Z5yYAK9zcHxLo7Tell: VillagerEbony Piano Code:2%QRfhMdRByAY3 O5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookFan Fan Code:cAQifhGeBsyjYcvqPYAKGaeFdjopTell: Tom NookFolding Chair Code:B6&6KQom9DzR358fkDC4%EEpCmiR Garbage Can Code:2%43EhMeRByAY3Z5yYAK9zcHxLo7Tell: VillagerGreen Drum Code2%Q2fhVeRByAY3Z5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookHandcart Code:2%Q2fhMeRByAY3Z5yYAK9zNfxLo7Tell: VillagerHand Cart Code:2%Q2fhMeRByAY3Z5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookHarp Code:xxxxxxxxxxxxxxS6nY7JIFOGE@izTell: VillagerHarmonoid Code:Bi9xES@sTRJTAAsq09cb#3UaKHs3Tell: Tom NookHarvest Bureau Code:Di9xES@sTRJsYYsqO9cb#3UaKHP5Tell: Tom NookHarvest Dresser Code:fi9GES@sTRJsAAsqO9cb#9UaKHI4Tell: Tom NookHowloid Code:Ai9xES@sTRMsYYshO9cb#9UaKHL1Tell: Tom NookImperial KK Code:3%J%cCcdSxWiItgivJsjsAznGVDBTell: Tom NookIron Frame Code:2%Q3EhMeRByAY305yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookJack-in-the-Box Code:NmxIGWIeSLYAACtriMwbzCGvFs&Q Tell: Tom NookJack-o'-Lantern Code:2%Q2fhMeRByAY3Z5yYAK9zcHxLo7Tell: VillagerJack-o'-Lantern Code:2%Q2fhMURByAY3Z5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookJingle Dresser Code:11AcKGI9JE#Jf@gHceoBLdG7Y%PETell: Tom NookJingle Table Code:lLhuwvEDA33emAdbgnvzbCvBAsyUTell:Tom NookKayak Code:4i9xES@sTRJhAAshO9cb#9UaKHo4Tell: Tom NookK.K. Condor Code:Oqtjq2f&4MOru9IM8dr2pYkxqla#Tell: Tom NookK. K. "I Love you" Code:69UFKKdcMs%Qrs ij#H@ooBWlWok5Tell: Tom NookK.K. "Only Me" Code:69UIKKdcMs%Qrsnj#H@ooBWIWok5Tell: Tom NookKK Rock Code:69UIKkdcMs%Qrsnj#H@ooBWlWOk5Tell: Tom NookK.K. Steppe Code:3%J%wCcdSxWiItgivJMjsAznGVDBTell: Tom NookKoopa Shell Code:Bi9xES@sTRJsAAshO9cb#9UaKHs4Tell: Tom NookLawn Mower Code:fi9xES@sTRJhAAsh09cb#9UaKH84Tell: Tom NookLovely End Table Code:4u&x5fw9GINwLS9ljjHSoLwZMD7&Tell: Tom Nook Lovely Kitchen Code:B6&6KQom9DzR35kfLDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookMega Buzziod Code:Aq%cugkN&in76hV%TIL3HUo3QYEdTell: Tom NookMega Lullaloid Code:fi9xES@sTRJsAAsh09cb#9UaKHs3Tell: Tom NookMega Quazoid Code:2%Q3fhMiRByAY3Z5yAYK9zcHxLo7Tell: VillagerMetatoid Code:Aq%cugkN&in76hy%TIL3HUo3QYEdTell: Tom NookMega Drilloid Code:Di9GES@sTRJsAAsq09cb39UaKHs1Tell: Tom Nook Mini Sproid Code:aq%iugkN&in76hy%TIL3HUo3QYEdTell: Tom NookMini Warbloid Code:Aq%cugkN&in76hy%TIL3HUo3QYEuTell: Tom NookModern Desk Code:TGGu@@Zzfuq#0zz3Nn27IGVlmPGGTell: Tom NookModern Lamp Code:b6ZsCg6gM%RJudyqq2dhMduKC&DrTell: VillagerNeutral Corner Code:Di9xES@sTRJsYYsqO9cb#3UaKHL5Tell: Tom NookN Logo Code:MuQx5fw9GINwLS9ljjHSoLwZMD7&Tell: Tom NookOboid Code:8i9xES@sTRJsAAsh09cb#9UaKH67Tell: Tom NookOrange Box Code:rNkGuNubwCYx4OOp5XbBP6PxGsc9Tell: VillagerPapa Bear Code:11ACK6I9JE#Jf@gHCeoBLaa7y%PETell: Tom NookPansy Model 1 Code:fi9GES@sTRJhAAsq09cb#9UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookPear Wardrobe Code:11AcKGI9JE#Jf@gHcE3BLdG7Y%PETell: VillagerPropane Stove Code:GSgE&zpk3NzKqcpaV#9GrTzxiyCdTell: Any VillagerPropane Stove Code:Bi9xES@sTRJsYYsh09cb#9UaKHI4Tell: Tom NookQuestion Block Code:vi9GES@sTRJhAAsh09cb#9UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookQuince Bonsai Code:2%Q2fhMNRByAY305yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookRockin� K.K. Code:69UiKKdcMs%Qrsnj#H@ooBWlWok5Tell: Tom NookRuby-Econo Chair Code:B6&6KQom9DzR358foDC4%EEpCmiR Tell: Tom NookRegal Lamp Code:2%Q3fhMKRByAY3Z5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookRegal Sofa Code:2%QYfhMdRByAY3 O5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell:Tom NookRegal Table Code:Mu&x5fw9GINwLS9ljjHSoLwZMD7&Tell: Tom NookRetro Stereo Code:B6&6KQom9DzR35RfLDC4%EEpCmiRTell: Tom NookRetro TV Code:B6&6KQom9DzR35DfoDC4%EEpCmiR Tell: Tom NookRhythmoid Code:Ni9xES@sTRJhAAsh09cb#9UaKHBE Tell: Tom NookSleeping Bag Code:Ai9xES@sTRJsAAshO9cb#7UaKHl4Tell: Tom NookSlim Quazoid:Vi9xES@sTRMsYAshO9cb39UaKHs3Tell: Tom NookSpace Heater Code:11ACKGI9JE#JF@GHCEOBLDG7Y%PETell: Tom NookSpace Shuttle Code:2%Q2fhMKhAyAY3Z5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookSpeed Bag Code:4i9GES@sTRJsAAsqO9cb#9UaKHI4Tell: Tom NookSpooky Clock Code:2%Q2fhMKRByAY305yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookSpooky Table Code:2%Q3EhMeRByAY3Z5yYAK9zcHxLo7Tell: VillagerSpooky Vanity Code:2%Q2fhMdRByAY3 O5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookSprinkler Code:Ai9xES@sTyJsYYshO9cb#9UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookStarman Code:Ai9xES@sTRJsYYsh09cb#9UaKHI4Tell: Tom NookStrange Painting Code:NmxIGWIeSLYAACu6iMwbzCGvFsnQTell: Tom Nook Strumbloid Code:Vi9xES@sTRMsAAshO9cb39UaKHs1 Tell: Tom NookTall Puffoid Code:Ai9xES@sTRJsYYsh09cb49UaKHL3Tell: Tom NookTall Nebuloid Code:Ai9xES@sTRJsAAsh09cb#9UaKHI3Tell: Tom NookTall Strumboid Code:gi9xES@sTRMsYAsAO9cb39UaKHA3Tell: Tom NookTea Set Code:2%Q2fhMKRByAY3Z5yYAK9zNHxLo7Tell: Tom NookTent Model Code:Ai9xES@sTRJsYY sh09cb#9Vak#I4Tell: Tom NookTimpano Drum Code:4u&x5fw9GINwLSfljjHSoLwZMD7&Tell: Tom NookTulip Model 1 Code:Di9GES@sTRJhYYsq09cb#3UaKHP5Tell: Tom NookWagon Wheel Code:1i9xES@sTRJsYYsh09cb39UaKHL4Tell:Tom NookWatermelon Table Code:cAQifhGeBsyjYcyqyYAKxjeFdjopTell: Tom NookWarbloid Code:aq%cugkN&in76hy%TIL3HUo3QYEdTell: Tom NookWeight Bench Code:Bi9xES@sTRJsYYsh09cb39UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookWell Code:vi9GES@sTRJhAAsh09cb@9UaKHL4Tell: Tom NookYellow Pinwheel Code:cAQifhGeBsyjYcEqyYAKxjeFdjopTell: Tom NookYuki Figurine Code:B6&6KQom9DzR35kfoDC4%EEpCmiR Tell: Tom Nook

Unlockables

Currently we have no unlockables for Animal Crossing yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Easter eggs

Currently we have no easter eggs for Animal Crossing yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Glitches

Currently we have no glitches for Animal Crossing yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Guides

Currently no guide available.

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Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.