#isn’t it funny how I almost kms the other night and now I’m just at work

[clichecrybaby]

…

[kkyuproof]

Jikook/Kookmin Fic Rec Part 1

(Part 2 Here)

I’ve slowly been building up my list of KM fics and thought I might as well share them with the rest of the Tumblr-sphere (and organize them all because if the rest of my life is a mess, at least my fav fics can be orderly amirite)! I’m somewhat new to BTS and KM so it’s not too big a list, but I’m going to be updating this as I find more that I enjoy :) Happy Reading! 

(most of these are probs old fics because like i said IM NEW HERE IM SO SORRY, but i hope you still find it helpful idk man)

Mostly Fluffy Fics

you are the ruler of the stars (and my heart) by cygnus (sunsprite) | Words: 18k | Jimin reluctantly joins his college’s Space and Astronomy club on the basis of Taehyung’s persuasion. Surrounded by a group of unnecessarily tall space nerds, he unexpectedly finds himself falling in love with one of them.

OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO CUTE. One of my fav fluffy fics to be honest. I was squealing basically the whole time i was reading. love.

i’ll stick to you like glue-cose by cygnus (sunsprite) | Words: 7k |  Jimin merely wanted to study in peace, yet a certain five-foot ten frat boy -- unfortunately also a past hookup -- that epitomizes the very definition of smugness in one entire body whose ego is as big and full-scaled as the national debt, won’t let him.

Another super cute fluffy fic!!! i just found this author and the fluff is just so amazingly written and not cliche at all and ugh. JK acts like he’s all suave but he’s really just a big softie and AH. 

friday nights (with you) by kstorms | Words: 24k |  How a random night at a karaoke bar leaves Jimin with two new friends and a frowny, terribly handsome crush.

Anther classic tbh. I think I’ve read this through like four or five times bc i have literally no life and enjoy this VERY well written humor. There’s like zero angst in this and it’s all mostly Taehyung being a very cute little shit to JK (KM is there obvs and they super cute but ya know). Def a must read.

competency at its highest potency by MauveTarte | Words: 10k | State-Sponsored Runs are the excitement of every Alpha and Omega youth.

Or,

Jimin has one final chance at this bonding thing before his life goes to shit.

the one and only ABO fic i’ve read with NO SMUT. that’s right, ya heathens! this one is solely plot driven (and super fluffy). It’s cute af and Taehyung is an amazing friend :)

(my heart beats) for you by sabotagemyheart | Words: 17k | In which Jungkook, as a child, befriends the exceptionally adorable, small and friendless Jimin, not knowing that after a few years, he’ll be wrecking this very boy underneath himself making him whimper out his name.

okay LISTEnn. This summary makes this fic sound a lot dirtier than it is (ok yes it’s smutty BUT there’s more fluff in this than anything else. its so so so cute.)

Mostly Smutty Fics

Studio 2 by Charmander | Words: 20k WIP | Somewhere along the way, Jimin lost that passion he used to pour into his art, watching as it slipped through his very fingers. But street kid Jungkook is all heart and soul, and he’s more than willing to help Jimin learn to burn with the same fire he carries inside himself.

okay so this one is very plot heavy (as is most of Charmander’s fics) so don’t think you’re getting JUST smut. it has an amazing storyline about sexuality struggles and i think a lot of you would enjoy it! (the smut is bomb af tho sooo) 

Starstruck by SugaTheTurtle | Words: 5k |  Everyone is attracted to idols at one point or another. As part of Big Hit’s staff, Jimin really shouldn’t still be as attracted to Jungkook as he was at the beginning. Maybe if he wasn’t he wouldn’t be stuck hiding inside a closet in his dressing room silently praying that the idol was reaching for the zipper on his pants to change into something more comfortable.

ALRIGHTY HERE WE GO LADIES AND GENTS. This is for all you kinky fuckers out there who love pure smut. It was very interesting at first but as it progressed i was like whoaoaa i need some holy water. this fic is the epitome of “well, that escalated quickly” (but it’s still not rushed ??? which like...how?) enjoy! lmao.

Interlude by Bunbungee | Words: 9k | Jungkook has fallen in love at first listen with Jimin’s interlude and he won’t stop until he finds out why he is reacting so strongly to it. His search for answers takes a new turn when, one night, he discovers just how much the song can affect him.

Okay this was smutty, but still SUPER CUTE bc jeon is his typical shy bunny self who’s super oblivious and jimin is just a sweetheart. looooove.

Wet Depths by WorldwideWriter | Words: 10k | All it takes for Jungkook to break is a slightly unfair swimming competition and a too seductive Jimin.

GIVE ME ALL THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS FICS hell yes. I love their dynamic in this one, they hate each other (but they really don’t lol like come on.) and the sexual tension is insane.

everybody’s watching him, but he’s looking at you by jonghyunslisterine | Words: 6k|   In which Jimin formulates a three-step plan to get the hot bouncer to notice him. (Spoiler: it doesn’t go quite as expected.)

okay this is smutty but also super cute so like idk where to put it but jimin wears a thong in it so i think the smut category will suffice. a quick read but so worth it, JK is a lowkey sweetheart.

Blood & Chocolate by MyHope (CutesyMe) | Words: 35k | “What if I only want you to sit on my lap?” the stranger asks, which is an odd request. People always want Jimin to dance for them. Only sometimes do they ask of him to just sit on their lap but event hen he has to move in some way and not just sit still.

“Same price,” Jimin retorts.

Jungkook spreads his legs slightly and motions to his lap as if it’s the best seat that has ever been offered to Jimin. “Be my guest.”

so i don’t really know what to say here but i loved their dynamic in this fic?? i love the way JK treats JM in this ahhhh its SMUTTY AF but he still super sweet and protective.  There’s sooooome angst but it’s not too bad. Good plot.

New Heights by Charmander | Words 11k| There’s no better way to remind yourself that you’re alive than tempting fate from 700 meters above the ground and the searing touch of another’s fingers dragging down your chest.

1000% my favorite smut fic out there. the dialogue written in this fic is so well-done and absolutely hilarious. Sexual tension is CRAZY. love his fics.

give in to the game by cherrygloss | Words: 23k | “Jimin, if you honestly think that I’m going to pretend to be your boyfriend so you can make your ex jealous, then you’re out of your mind.”

im s oRRY, i know this is mostly smut aljfdlkaldfj my thirsty ass has bookmarked so many smut fics but i can’t help it oof. but this is super cute smut with some feeliins.

Nu ABO: A Memoir by Park Jimin by decompositionbooks | Words: 34k | The world didn’t think it was necessary to give him a guide when it shoved all of these omega hormones at him, so here it is, Park Jimin’s handbook to dealing with heats, unrequited love, and Jeon Jungkook.

WOOH another classic! I live for jealous/protective!JK idk its just super cute. my fav ABO fic!!

two sides; same story by namjoone | Words: 12k | Okay, so maybe Jimin thinks his neighbor is hot.

A little.

Okay, maybe a lot.

haha ohhhh man i love mutual pining. they’re both totally dumb at the beginning of this and i live for it. also some hoottttttt ass smut. (bc i need jesus at this point)

Not a Girl by PinkBTS | Words: 8k | Jeongguk isn’t sure what he did in his previous life to deserve this but he probably screwed up big time...he’s kinda grateful though.

A story about Santa, assumptions and thick-rimmed glasses.

AHHHHH  this is so funny and awkward and hot and EVERYTHING. I live for frat!bangtan with my whole heart. 

Downpour by kikistiel (Kikai) | Words: 15k | Jimin doesn’t know what it is. But now, he’s not sure he’s ready for summer to be over just yet.

IM SCREAMING. This was almost poetically good (aka A+ writing oh my gerrrd). It’s kinda angsty too like a bit but its also so sweet i love it :( go read pls.

How to Seduce Your Dance Teacher by Jeon Jungkook by soranosuzu | Words: 5k | Currently there are a million thoughts racing through Jungkook’s brain, but two very prominent ones finally beat their way to the forefront of his mind. First, Jimin is hot as hell and Jungkook needs to find a way to get into his pants. Second (and maybe slightly more urgent than the first), Jungkook needs to find a way to prevent himself from popping a boner every time Jimin does that in the future and, more importantly, right now.

(aka AU in which Jungkook devises a plan to seduce his ridiculously hot dance teacher Jimin)

HELLL YEAH. that is all.

i like how desperate you seem (in the way you look at me) by fatal (cumrich) | Words: 71k WIP | Packs merge all the time. It’s survival, Jimin knows that, but what he’s not prepared for is the attention he’s getting from a certain Jeon Jungkook, the alpha’s son.

yeeesss we got some more ABO up in this biiiiihhcc. It’s not done yet, but i strongly urge you to read!! so goooood and the smut is A1.

Mostly Angst

The Bet by jonghyunslisterine | Words: 46k |  Where Jeon Jungkook makes a bet that he can get the notoriously single Park Jimin to sleep with him by the end of the semester. 

Needless to say, things don’t go exactly as planned.

Yes i had to include this lovely classic :) Still one of my favs and probably always will be *shrug*. I’m not usually an angst person but this is like the perfect dosage for me to handle lol. If you haven’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life honestly go do it lmao.

lost stars by pjungkook | Words: 25k | Park Jimin has another maknae in his life and Jeon Jungkook is completely losing it.

have you ever felt like your heart was being smushed under an eighteen wheeler and your chest was caving in? Yeah that was me during this fic. But it’s sososo good and i promise there’s still fluff (i cannot live through angst without fluff) so READ.

Falling for you again by Rose_gold715 | Words: 30k | Jungkook loses all memory of the last five years of his life.

Jimin is scared he will never love him again.

wow okay so this one was a tear-jerker. you sympathize with both JK and JM but you’re also sort of frustrated with them at the same time?? soso good, definitely give it a read.

serendipity (none of this is a coincidence) by nclnns | Words: 30k | Jimin feels like crying.

Because the boy -- Jeon Jungkook as he had learnt a week ago -- is the exact opposite of Jimin.

And he’s the person Jimin’s boyfriend has been cheating on him with.

or

In which Jimin finds out that Taehyung is cheating on him with a boy named Jeon Jungkook and in the quest to understand what went wrong, he ends up falling in love with said boy.

so i haven’t read this one in a few months but i remember it being one of the first KM fics i had ever bookmarked, so it must have hit me in some way. JK is a sweetie though from what i remember.

On Patrol by Ragi | Words: 129k| Officer Jeon has his eyes on Mr. Adorable. Officer Min has a strange neighbor he can’t seem to keep out of his life. Captain Kim finds comfort in his son’s homeroom teacher. 

Well, cops need some loving too, right?

Okay so this isn’t like suuuuper angsty but it’s also not smutty nor super fluffy either??? So idk where to put it but i think angst fits this most. I also laughed quite a bit during this so it has humor!! Tae is also like an 8 year-old kid LDJAFODJOA (ft. Sope and Namjin)

we’re not broken just bent by calipha | Words 16k | “You’ll die,” Jimin hisses and they’re so close now that his perfect illusion is broken. Jungkook can see his dark circles, can see Jimin’s lips, red and raw from biting.

“I did almost die in this house once, five years ago,” he whispers, watching as Jimin clenches his jaw but doesn’t look away. “I think I can handle more. I’m bigger and stronger now, see?” Jimin holds his gaze for two seconds before it tracks south to move down Jungkook’s body.

MY HARRY POTTER LOVIN ASS IS VERY SATISFIED. jimin is just a misunderstood bb and jungkook is trying SO HARD not to pine ajweklfkldf.

[belphegor1982]

Got tagged by @kikabennet! 

when did you last sing to yourself?

Yesterday, since I’ve currently been awake for an hour and a half. Might have been either “Bonnie Portmore” or “Here’s a Health (To The Company)”. I’ve been putting a lot of shanties and pirates/sailing-related films soundtracks on to draw to (and hopefully write to) lately. (EDIT: Ooops - yep, wrote that yesterday around 11AM, so make that this afternoon; I hummed while I drew along with the first 3 Pirates of the Caribbean soundtracks. It’s so darn hummable.)

if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

Who was the Man in the Iron Mask!? (I know better than to ask personal/family truths :S Besides, I’m curious.)

(putting the rest under a cut...)

what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Being able to speak (mostly) and read/write English fluently.

what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

When my mum was in the hospital with my newborn baby sister, my dad would take me see them, and before that we’d stop for ice cream and a ride on the merry-go-round. That’s what comes to mind when I read “first happy memory”.

if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

I’d go see my family and friends who live far away a lot more, and eat a lot more of my favourite things.

do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

I don’t, really ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

describe a person close to your life in detail

The Best Beloved is tallish (1,77m - that’s… 5′10?), with dark brown hair, green eyes, skin that tans easily even in winter, and glasses. …and that’s as much detail as I’m comfortable putting.

do you feel you had a happy childhood?

On the whole, yes. Could’ve done without the bullying at school and the undermining of self-confidence at home, though.

when did you last cry in front of another person?

Don’t remember, so it must be at least a fortnight.

pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them

My dad, who used to sail with a compass. I don’t think he knows much about constellations, but he’s always willing to share memories, even if sometimes he doesn’t remember he’s told them multiple times.

would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

Probably. I shouldn’t, though. Strangers being by definition strangers, you never know where that information is going and how it might be used (possibly against you).

when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

We both were tired and ended up going to bed around half past midnight, so no 3AM conversation, but my friend Sandrine last week.

if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

…I have no idea? I think I’d concentrate really hard on not dying :S

what is your opinion on brown eyes?

Why would it matter tho I have brown eyes and for the longest time I thought they were boring. It doesn’t help that brown hair and eyes are basically the default where I grew up/live. Then I grew up and moved on.

pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally

George Bernard Shaw’s “Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.” Life is complicated, all about balance between extremes and absolutes. Don’t trust people who tell you the world is grim and serious just because they are. And while getting the giggles at a funeral/wake is inappropriate, it doesn’t mean you’re heartless.

what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

Wait, What

what would you do with one billion dollars?

I’d keep half a dozen millions for me (car and house debts), my family and my friends, and give the rest to social services, healthcare, and public services in general.

are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

Ehhh… It’s complicated. I tend to hold grudges when I can remember why, but I rarely do something about it. On the whole I’m pretty “live and let live”.

would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

Neither, really. I’m too soft for punk, but pastel’s not really my thing either.

how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain

I’m too much of a wuss to even consider getting either, but they look great on other people. When I get a spot on my tongue I wonder how people with a tongue piercing manage to keep it, though. It’s very distracting.

do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

As a rule, no, but if I work or if I’m invited somewhere I’ll throw on a bit of eyeliner and lipstick. (I should raid my makeup drawer, really, some of my lipstick cases are almost 20 years old and you should NOT do that.)

talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way

In high school I saw a psychologist (junior high was NOT a happy time and the bad stuff just overflowed at one point) and went to an outpatient clinic every Wednesday. They had lots of activities, like painting on silk, various art stuff, and a band, and I loved that band. I was one of the only ones who’d request songs to sing in English. The guitarist introduced me to the Beatles’ “Something”, which I didn’t know, and to this day when I hear this lovely song I think of that guy who had a great smile, a great sense of humour and a great moustache (think George Harrison on Let It Be) who helped me get better.

list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel

Not to brag, but back in my uni days I did go to a number of them - K’s Choice, Coldplay, King Khan And His Shrines, M, Tom McRae are among the ones I remember. And a couple months ago I went to a rock concert with three bands one after the other. I love live music, it feels amazing. It courses through my body, makes me grin like a maniac, and want to jump and flail around just to vent the excess energy. And all this without a single drop of beer! (can’t stand the stuff :P)

who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

I’d love a letter from the national loto that says “here’s a giant check even though you haven’t scratched a ticket in years” :P More seriously, I LOVE receiving letters from my Internet friends.

do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

I don’t really have a workspace. I have a desk, which has the desktop screen, keyboard, mouse/graphic tablet, and a whole lot of mess of papers, pens, boxes, and stuff. I can use either that desk or my laptop in my armchair.

what is your night time routine?

Finish watching the movie/tv show, look at Tumblr a bit (and/or stuff on the laptop, like TV Tropes), go to bed, read a bit on my Kindle, kiss the Best Beloved good night, switch off the lights, and try to sleep.

what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

Anything about my intimate life, thanks.

if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

I experimented a bit with henna back in the day, but generally I just have haircuts (I have too little hair to risk harming it). I’d like some reddish highlights one day, though.

pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

Eehhh... I’d rather stay at home and chill :P Okay, I’d take the Best Beloved and my friends Melody, Nico, Sandrine, and Aldric, and head to Marquèze. (wish their website had an English version, it’d be better.) It’s an ecomuseum about local life in the early 1800s/early 1900s, with preserved traditional houses and people showing skills like dyeing fabric, shepherding, making flour (there’s a watermill) and all sorts of cakes and bread and snacks, and an entire day isn’t too much to visit everything.

name three wishes and why you wish for them

I wish:

I had a decently-paying job from home,

my friend Sandrine’s mum were/will be all right (don’t ask),

we had the house extension built already

what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up

We didn’t have Halloween when I was growing up, it really only started to be a thing in earnest a decade or two ago. Although... One time when we lived in Bordeaux, the Best Beloved and I were invited to a housewarming party on Halloween, so people would wear costumes. I went as a witch, with a long black skirt, long-sleeve thing with black lace (-ish), long black and white wig, and of course black lipstick and lots of black around the eyes. The Best Beloved had made a cloak, a scythe of sorts with cardboard and foil, and had a scary death head mask on. We didn’t have a car and the friend lived in Saint-Médard (which is relevant), so we had to ask around the bus drivers for which bus went there.

So picture the two of us dressed as we were, mask and all, well after dark, asking around for the “S&M” bus. Yep :P (People stared at us during the ride, and unlike the Best Beloved, I didn’t have the luxury of a mask to hide my laughter...)

what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

The only time I got slightly tipsy I went a little pink and apparently talked a little louder than usual. I’ve never got drunk (too afraid of stomachache later) or high (it took my mum two heart attacks to quit smoking and I’m wondering if she hasn’t taken it up again, I can’t hold a cigarette, tobacco or otherwise).

what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

Hurt people, probably. If I wouldn’t do it for ten dollars I wouldn’t do it for a million - if you agree to one or the other the rest is just haggling over price.

if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

I don’t think I have the right face shape for that - my face is too round, longer hair suits me better.

what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

I live 126 km (78 miles) from the nearest Starbucks, when I walk by one the queue is huge, and the prices are well beyond my range :> But I’d trust the Best Beloved. He’d still ask me, though.

what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

Being happy and/or stress-free. Also the oncoming Papa Bear Awards nominations in a week and the Eurovision Song Context coming up in May :D

Tagging @radarsteddybear, @rose-of-pollux, @truxi-twice, @myrling-art, @iorvethscommando, and @toooldforthisbutstill! :o)

[jekyllnahyena]

right, so, sorta story time. of just the day of departure. because i wanna give an imagine of how much i can’t do anything without shit somehow going absolutely sideways.

so, five of us lads decide to go back, you know? it’s a seven to eight hour drive and I know in other countries, it’s pretty normal to do that for the weekend. it’s very much not for my country (central europe), but yeah. one week spend in close proximity with 11 other people, all of them extroverts and about four that i’m actually close with, aight? at this point i’m exhausted beyond all means. is it the introverted-ness, the sleeping problems of three hours a night, the constant body pain, the body dysmorphia that i now start actively noticing in a swimming environment, the fucking hangover??? (the answer is yes. and more)

i go back with four lads that i’m not that close with and i really just want my own room and be able to listen to my music, not talk with anyone for two days and draw and nothing more.  some of us aren’t feeling too hot, but as i said, i wasn’t feeling too hot anyway, so i don’t really notice beside pulling back from a lot of activeties and being an antisocial gremlin, but that’s fine. about an hour into the drive, the car starts acting up. as in, the epc is blinking, we can’t go over 60 km/h and we have the alps and two borders to cross. we stop once, wait if it goes away (it doesn’t) and pull over after another ten minutes of hoping shit isn’t gonna completely die. 

so, the five of us wonder what to do.

apparently the lads mum’, who’s car we have, has a membership with car insurance thingy that helps when your car stops working, even the international one. so we call the dudes (in our home country) and wait what to do. somebody’s coming in about two hours. we’re standing (ironically) in front of a citroen car shop, it’s 36 celsius, non of us speak the countries languages besides one lad who knows a few words and otherwise converses with hands and feet. we wait.

some start coughing. my lungs start hurting. 

now. i’m a smoker. i’m used to smoking too much at a party but i’ve gone to bed pretty early (in proportian to the others’) the past two days cause tired. i didn’t smoke. we know what this means. we get the tests. we check. negative, all five of us. weird, but maybe we all just got sick. we did spend a lot of time in the water and in wet clothes, maybe it’s that? the tow truck appears. we don’t understand him, he doesn’t understand us. well. we still follow him for half an hour into the middle of nowwhere. it’s around 17 o’clock when we land in a small village in rural italy with no fucking clue where we are and how to get home. we started at 11. dude can’t help with the car and our option, as the lovely car unsurance lady explains, is to wait till monday and hope that the car gets repaired or we can go by train. i check for trains and how to even get there. it’d take us 14 hours to get even close to home. we decide against that. 

at this point, i should mention, it feels like my lung is actively trying to collapse into itself. i’m hot, sleep deprived, exhausted beyond all means, absolutely murderous, and the only time i’ve felt this particular pain was back in january. we get the basics of our stuff from the car and call our friend, at who’s aunt house we spend the week, if she could come pick us up. she still there cause she wanted to spend another few days with her parents at the house. she can. we try to send a location, it’s an hour n a half drive for her and start walking to a super market. our broken italien lad somehow decided to talk with one local dude, got us almost attacked by a couple of dogs but also snagged three beers and cheese and salami. somehow. and now says he knows a short cut to the market. (i tell him i know a short cut to his grave. none of these lads have ever seen me really aggressive. they decide it’s funny. i’m ready to bite someone’s head off.) we come to the market, wait another hour or so and our friend arrives. her car has only five seats. we’re six. at this point i volunteer to be stuffed into the trunk cause i’m this short before dropping down and at least i’ll be lying down. kinda. 

anyway, after another hour n a half we arrive back at the house, i somehow decide that drinking a glass of brandy is the solution and wander to the terrible bed as my back starts to act up like the bastard it is. 

we drive back the next day in a significantely smaller car, everyone is coughing by now, and arrive back home after seven n a half hours. i take a test. i’m fucking positive. again. i kinda wanna hug an alligator and leave the rest of myself to fate.

so now i’m back, after one wonderful, exhausting, sleep depriving, insane holiday, ready to never leave my home again. the thought of finally listening to my music and drawing is probs what’s keeping me sane rn. or. well. as sane as i am. but yeah. stuff be happeing all the time everywhere. jekyll out.

no jekyll, u fuckin waffle, you don’t.

[mysticscanlations]

Unlucky Mansion Chapter 68 Translation!

kms sorry this is late

SFX: Turn

SFX: Flip (x2)

JH: I'm going to tell those in charge of the literary award that Writer Kwak will be attending.

JH: If it's you, then even he will listen.

EJ: Ah, I'm worried...

Phone: Ding

Message (from EJ): Unni, it's been a while. Are you doing well?

SFX: Open

CM: Here.

CM: Long time no see. I already started a drink while waiting for you. Is that okay?

EJ: Yeah, it's okay. You don't want to order any snacks?

CM: Maybe I should get mac and cheese balls.

EJ: Then I'll go ask for that with my order.

SFX: Clink

EJ: Have you been well, unni?

ST: Kya—

CM: Well, the same as always. But hasn't it been too long? I was almost disappointed.

-Even if things turned out like that with Kwak Woo Jin, you should contact me.

EJ: I wanted to do that too, but turns out a person's feelings don't think the same.

EJ: When I see you or the others, I'd naturally think about Kwak Woo Jin, and I'd want to go back, and I'd start missing you all...

EJ: I thought that would happen.

EJ: How's Woo Jin?

CM: Him?

CM: He pestered me like a crazy person for a while, but he's better recently.

CM: And seeing as how that bear-like man isn't coming by anymore, I guess he's doing his work properly now.

CM: But maybe it's due to that, but he's locked himself in his room these days so it's hard to even see his face.

CM: Sung Won's working the night-shift daily, and Kwon Joon and Kwon Hwi are slowly getting ready to find a job.

CM: Everyone's so busy that even our rule to all eat together once a week is fizzling out.

CM: We're all doing well individually, but...

-It's not the same as before.

CM: I know it's not for my place to interfere in what you're going to do with Woo Jin,

CM: but do you really have no thoughts on coming back?

Text (probs from author guy): Tomorrow is the awards ceremony.

Phone: Good morning—

Phone: Good morn...

SFX: Beep

SFX: Step

SFX: Empty—

Person: No, I cancelled my payment plan but I still got a bill.

CM: In order to confirm your membership information, please tell me the first few digits of your resident registra...

Person: You guys are the ones who messed up. You should apologize first before confirming!

CM: I'm sorry, but as per procedure, I need your resident registra—

Person: Hey! Are you joking?

CM: I really can't deal with this.

SFX: Slam

SFX: Gulp (x2)

SFX: Phew

SFX: Hiccup

SFX: Tremble (x9)

CM: Hah... What a shitty life.

CM: Your life has been a waste, Yoon Chae Min! To think you don't even have a friend to call out at times like this.

CM: No money saved up, no dream...

CM: And no future!!

SFX: Kick

SW: Ack!

SFX: Slam

White ST: Ah!

CM: Hey!! Are you okay?!

SW: … Noona?

CM: Yeah! Why!! Does it hurt a lot? Are you okay?!

SW: … Pft!

SW: Hahaha! That's so funny! How could it hit my forehead so precisely?!

SW: Even the way I fell was straight out of a manhwa!

CM: Hey, you smell like alcohol. Why are you riding a bike after drinking, do you wanna die?

SW: You smell like alcohol too, noona!

CM: I'm saying you shouldn't ride a bike after drinking.

SW: Noona, what are you doing here in the cold? Let's go back.

CM: Whatever, okay.

CM: I'm not in the mood to talk today, so head back first.

SW: What's wrong? Did something happen? You don't look good, noona. I'm...

CM: Go and sleep.

SW: Noona...

SW: I'd like it if you became happy, noona.

CM: Hey, what does a young master of a rich house that's always snickering like you know?

CM: You think about your own happiness.

CM: Are you happy? That happiness is just a shell. Isn't that right?

CM: You pretend to be happy and show that to others because you want to be acknowledged. Just how is that happiness?

SW: It looks like happiness is a really heavy thing to you, noona.

SW: But happiness is just when you eat good food, when you see a movie you like for the third time...

-Or maybe when you're walking down the street and get excited by a song that you can hear from a nearby store.

SW: It's not something that heavy. Happiness is becoming happy when you want to.

SW: If you're ready to receive it, you can become happy at any time.

SW: Right?!

SFX: Hug

SW: Huh? Are you crying?

SW: Don't cry!

(T/N: they're just... so... cute.... i'm gonna die)

[pa-eonia]

i’m going to complain for a bit so i’m sorry in advance

i have lichen planus, i’ve had it since like september 2018. it was hell at first, i couldn’t breathe because air burned my mouth, went to the ER many times just to get diagnosed with herpes and be given herpes medicine which actually triggered the lichen planus even worse. for four months i struggled, away from my parents, and only when i went to a dermatologist, which i couldnt do in germany because my insurance didnt even cover my ER visits, was i diagnosed with lichen planus following a biopsy. i still have (usually painless, sometimes burning) sores in my mouth that may also be herpes, i still don’t know what triggers them. i have quit alcohol and drugs that may possibly be triggering it. but they still come back. they are nowhere where they used to be, like i am usually okay but i am a hypocondriac with even more anxiety than that requires, and i am praying to god i don’t get another serious disease. i was only 20 when i was diagnosed with this weird autoimmune thing that normally older women have. it is annoying. i am fully okay with not drinking, i like being sober and awake and aware, i am only angry that i still have to struggle with it and that there is barely anything i can do to combat it.

but i am more annoyed at something else. my body is not okay. my body is not okay. i have tried telling this to countless doctors, i have been trying since i was 15 and i got shin splints and had to take a break from the only thing in my life that meant anything to me, i could not run for a month and i havent been the same since. i told the doctor that my hips have hurt ever since i can remember, that my lower back hurt as if i was 85 years old, but wow, he said, you don’t have scoliosis, and your shin splints will go away if you rest for a month. i cried in his office in front of my dad and he did not care, my shin splints went away but every other joint in my body is still hurting. hell, even my shin still hurts sometimes. my dad and his sister told me later that as a child i would always stretch my back, go into funny looking poses, reach all the way to the sky. i was 13 when i failed to do a yoga pose and was struck by lightning going up from the base of my spine all the way to my neck. 7 years later a doctor told me i hadn’t herniated a disc but i did have a benign cyst in my spine that might require surgery. 2 years later a doctor examined my fingers and said if it did not hurt it could not have been rheuma. i went from orthopedist to orthopedist, there is nothing wrong with you there is nothing wrong with you, my dad would flinch everything my hips cracked. he spent a year massaging my back for hours every single day after work as i tried to study. 4 years later and my boyfriend is massaging my back every day as i try not to cry. sometimes my shoulder burns as if thousands of volts are going through it. could this have been avoided had someone taken me seriously 7 years ago?

i was almost a senior in college when i said enough, enough, enough, i can’t spend half an hour crying in the changing room every time i go to the gym. i love moving my body. i love pushing my body. and maybe even more important than that, my hips will make me cry at night if i don’t work out at least every other day. so i said enough, i can’t live like this anymore. i went to an orthopedist. a female orthopedist. was given physiotherapy, i cried from happiness on my way home. i went to physio for 4 weeks, 4 weeks of 20 minute appointments, the simplest of moves and i am okay, i am okay, physio has helped me more than any doctor on this earth ever could. i still do those exercises. my hips crack sometimes. they have not made me cry since the end of sophomore year.

just a few months later: my heel started hurting. i blame the 8 year old boots that i loved wearing. i went to the another orthopedist, who said that disgusting doctor who had implied if i didn’t have scoliosis i can’t possibly be in pain was not a good doctor. what a relief. i had plantar fasciitis, don’t run, stretch your foot. don’t run. don’t run. after the shin splints i hadn’t run consistently, i hadn’t run as if i was flying. now again, don’t run.

at the same time something else was happening: my hips, that i was not allowed to stretch since they could just pop out of their socket, would not allow me to practice karate that i had just gotten into. i could not get into position, i could not open my hip without my knee caving in, we look over that when you’re a yellow belt but if you want to go orange, you need to do it correctly.

my hips, that i now loved so dearly, together with my heel, meant that i could not even do karate a couple times a week. don’t run, don’t go to karate, i could barely walk but i had to make it to the gym to combat the pain elsewhere on my body. i told myself i would go back to my orthopedist in germany to get more physio appointments. i gave it my all at the gym - after all, except for some hip stabilising exercises, pretty much everything was out. i told myself i could do a pull up. i did a pull up. then i did two, then three, then four. then five. then one day as i was leaving the house, trying to tie my shoes, my hand stopped moving. my arm froze, a slight movement making me bend in pain. i was convinced i had dislocated my shoulder - a visit to the orthopedist a week later made it clear that no, i hadn’t dislocated my cracking, visibly moving in its socket shoulder, it was simply how it was. my beloved orthopedist was also one of them, i was a medical joke, and did i know, another patient of hers had the same thing. and my heel? eh, get new shoes, only old and fat people get plantar fasciitis anyway.

i got more physio appointments. and for this therapist i am grateful. i am grateful. i owe him my life. because at that point, where i could not run, i could not do karate, i could not do lower body or upper body exercises, i was the closest i could get to taking my own life. i was scared that i would do it - this isn’t whining like oh i can’t workout, ths is a tragedy, no. this was years of medical professionals ignoring what i said, my body being in pain, me not being able to even walk because of it, and medical professionals. still. ignoring. my symptoms. i could not take it at that point, i cried every single day because i could not endure the pain anymore. and my physiotherapist turned all of that around. i remember when germany was hit by a storm and we were encouraged to stay home as much as possible, and i had an appointment, and i left the clinic running home with my f’d up heel in the rain. if anyone was driving near me they saw a crying, laughing, seemingly mental girl running in the storm, but i hadn’t felt that good in such a long time. my shoulder, which was in a way worse condition than the doctor had suggested, was getting better, so was my heel, and so was my back and hamstrings and hips and knees, you see where i am going with this. my ribs crack. they crack into my stomach and it doesn’t hurt, but every time i laugh i fear that i have ruptured something. my back cracks. my shoulders can get dislocated with every movement. my thighs, which help me sprint at 24 km/h for half a minute, that carried the 15-year-old me through 70 mile months, can’t prevent my knee pain. my left glute is still numb. all of these medically irrelevant. fabian, if for some reason you see this, i owe you my life.

then came the next orthopedist appointment. no my heel still hurts no my shoulder still hurts but all getting better. i just need more physio. did i have an appointment with a pain therapist, no because we are in germany and everyone in the medical field is indifferent to patients. i am still waiting to hear back from 2 neurologists. did i make an appointment with a rheumatologist, no because they are making me wait and wait and wait- oh wait i have an appointment two days from now. i see the rheumatologist wearing a mask, do your fingers hurt, no but i feel a vein over my elbow move every time i write, do your fingers hurt, no but every joint in my body makes me wish i was dead, do your fingers hurt when i do this, no but my autoimmune disorder makes me susceptible for others. did i tell you that my joints make me wish i was dead every waking second. we’ll run some more tests but you don’t have a rheuma-type condition, you should be happy, you are okay. everything i have told you is medically irrelevant. medically, i am okay, medically, you can’t experience pain if there isn’t an underlying issue. we don’t treat pain. we don’t treat pain when we don’t look for common diseases. remember when we did not look for anything else when your herpes lingered for four months and made you cry when you drank water.

these words, you are okay, there is nothing we could find, these words that reduced me to whiny, crying little girl, still there. i haven’t seen my physiotherapist since march because my pain is not a good enough reason to risk all the old people visiting that clinic. my pain is never good enough. my heel stopped hurting at the beginning of march and i could get in a full month of running before i woke up with a pinching pain again. i still don’t do karate. i have to modify every workout i do. some days i can barely sit at my desk because of the pain. wiping down the counters makes my shoulders click. i can’t sleep on my stomach because my back hurts, i can barely vacuum the floors before i have to stop and sit down. i am 21. i do not wish to see what the rest of the future holds for me.

[sparklyjojos]

hey i sent you an ask but internet problematic here so i dunno if it was sent? As someone with no experience with neurodivergent people i was hoping you could elaborate what you have previously said about Kars in JORGE JOESTAR (and other characters maybe) seeming neurodivergent. Like, i'd love to know your headcanons about jojo characters regarding this, as well as reasoning for the headcanon's (optional, but i'd love it)

(wow this one sure took me a long time to answer, sorry!)

oh boy, this would be an extremely long post if I included all other jojo characters I headcanon as nd so I’m just going to focus on Jorge (the Japanese one) and novel Kars for now

this won’t be a “this character definitely has x thing”, but just pointing out traits and dialogue that may interest someone who wants to headcanon/write these characters as nd

am I going to be reaching with some of those? yep! but if the Jorge Joestar novel itself taught me anything, it’s that:

so, you know. I see what I wanna see.

(tw: mental illness, trauma, ptsd, suicide - all in the Kars segment)

Jorge:

 – the sheer difference in introductions is telling: English Jorge talks at length about his family, his classmates, his gay puppy crush, and anything else you’d expect to be major concerns for a kid. Japanese Jorge? social life haha what social life, HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR 10 PAGES OF PUZZLE SOLVING

 – no really if the very first thing someone says after seeing all your memories is that you sure spend a lot of time on puzzles then that’s some deep interest you have, a bit of a stereotypical hobby there but whatevs

 – hyperfocuses a lot??

 – (exasperated Kars who’s been trying to get his attention for a good minute:) “You have a bad habit of not hearing when people speak to you.” (Jorge:) “Yeah, if I’m focused on something else. Sorry. What?”

 – tunes out of one phone conversation with Bruno like 3 times

 – figures out how time-based Stands work specifically because he has experience with his internal sense of time getting royally fucked up whenever he’s deeply focused

 – was inattentive (and hyperactive?) as a young kid to the point it affects how the memories on his disc look like: “I was a fidgety child, and the image rarely focused on [Joseph] for long. I wasn’t interested in his story.”

 – visual thinker, good with patterns, can make complicated mental maps and solve slide puzzles in his mind

 – his memory is really good until it isn’t (as far as he’s concerned Funny Valentine’s Stand is called Dirty Whatever)

 – very particular about meanings of words and names, etymology (his arc starts and ends with him pondering over the kanji of his own name, knows latin names of various species like Hydrangea or Ursus maritimus and what they mean literally, that “sorry that name’s taken” line when Rohan calls something a Beyond, etc)

 – doesn’t like (is distressed by?) clutter and things/details being WRONG. (“If details don’t add up right I get agitated, and start searching for a better way. This trait has lead to my room being very clean, and made me a great detective.”)

 – infodumps to Rohan about polar bears of all things, and there’s a moment when he stops talking almost mid-sentence after mentioning they’re called Ursus maritinus and instead of speaking out loud he just thinks to himself that “The scientific name was given by John Phipps in 1774” as if he just realized that’d be Too Much detail to share, I feel you Jorge

 – (after Erina says he has a characteristic soft smile) “I do? I mean, I guess people do say I look like an idiot.”  

 – gets urges to laugh at very bad times (”Cars’ whispered response had an air of such grim realism that I almost started laughing, but he was watching me suspiciously. Whoops.”)

 – sometimes blurts out things, often fails one-liners, even when he pre-plans what he’s going to say something else may come out (“I’d thought of all kinds of things to say, but what actually popped out in that moment? (…) I have no idea what I meant by that last bit but I said what I said and had to live with it.”)

 – sometimes impulsive, like yeah let’s just get up in the middle of the night and search through a 10 km^2 area on a bike for something unprecised while you have several death threats to your name, this can’t possibly backfire

 – (after Jorge quite literally blows himself up by impulsive carelessness) “Cars was still laughing. “You really don’t think things through.“”

 – small point that’s made moot by paranormal things like that being real in the jojoverse, but his tendency to see signs and messages meant for him everywhere and in every event, and insisting on coincidences not being mere synchronicity gives off a different vibe than intended (at least at the beginning before he knows Stands and Beyonds are a thing)

Kars:

 – honestly I could just slap the definition of “neurodivergent = with their brain functioning differently from what’s seen as ‘normal’ in the population” here and point at his backstory in this book and be done with it

 – remember everything I’m writing is on top of his canon image of an asocial genius scientist with poor affect (or, in the anime, varying between stone face and painfully exaggerated expressions) who has a connection with nature and animals, which I guess can? be seen as some type of autistic coding (unfortunately in this case it dovetails into ���a loner with autistic traits = snaps and kills everyone” type of coding sooo maybe let’s not go there)

 – novel Kars talks about how when he was younger he didn’t even know that feeling sympathy and wanting to have emotional attachments with others –was a thing– (apparently his race wasn’t capable of it??), and he had to sorta consciously try to understand and learn it through reading human fiction. It came off to me like he relates better to fictional characters (and maybe animals?) than to his race or humans, too

 - ^^(that backstory’s a bit unclear with how it’s told; either just like his race he doesn’t have the drive for social bonding, empathy etc. and his understanding of others is made purely on the intellectual level - that’s relatable for some nd people - or he DOES have those things in a drastic difference from everyone else of his race, which I guess makes him nd by definition. It’s… complicated.)

– on the topic of “consciously learning how to sympathy” - there’s a few times in the novel when he’s a prick not because he wants to be but because he genuinely doesn’t understand why the other person would be upset (”Cars, sorry, but can you put me back at my old height?” “?…isn’t the view better?”), but if that person explains how the thing is upsetting he then backs off like “oh okay” (when Jorge is disturbed about the women’s heads thing - “Yeah. But I just feel sorry for them. I can’t watch this.” - Kars just goes “I see.” and makes them disappear). He still has to work on the “taking your private memories without asking” issue tho

 – that moment in the backstory where Kars became deeply aware of just how flawed and “not up to own potential” he was which launched him straight into unhealthy perfectionism and desire for control and power as a way of dealing with it? relatable

 – and that thing where him becoming much more chill is preceeded by the realization that he can’t ever - and that he doesn’t have to - become an infinitely perfect being without weaknesses, and that he’d still have worth and meaning even when he’s not performing to some ridiculous self-imposed standards?? GREAT, and I love to see lines like this one coming from him: “Cars smiled. “I have no desire to be the leadingman.””

 – he talks about how traumatic events and your emotional reactions to them (“feeling like you’re dying”) can damage your soul. Since he claims to have experience determining soul damage, and the only souls he worked with before belonged to 36 other Karses, we can assume he’s talking about himself as well. (and it’s kinda obvious that having everyone you love die in

 – ^^^also worth noting that even if Kars knew a lot about brains biology-wise, he missed out on practically all of modern psychology after 1939, so of course the way he relates to trauma and mental illness would be different, and more informed by what he learned having spent most of his life around ancient civilizations in the Americas - the concept of soul loss. And it’s not like the book doesn’t wink towards it in other places (English Jorge dissociating during torture is described as him having learned how to remove his soul from his body)

 – Light Dancer Kars speaks about how he wanted to commit suicide, then in the same paragraph says that he and our Kars feel “the same sadness”, which, wow. Earlier there are scenes where you can interpret Kars’s behaviour as passively suicidal; he doesn’t seek death, but if something (burning upon reentry while saving the humans, fighting Dio) did kill him, he wouldn’t mind that much

 – this one is very subjective because you can interpret these moments as just him being very lost in thought / focusing on healing (Jorge sure does), but: when faced with intense emotional stress - like hearing Light Dancer Kars’s existential speech, or almost getting killed because he chose to shield the humans from harm - Kars has a tendency to go non- or barely verbal, motionless, unresponsive to outside stimuli (including people trying to get his attention by calling his name) and staring at one thing / into space, ignoring even a zombie attack or that they’re pressed on time in alternate!Morioh. When I first read it I assumed he just dissociated really hard (ptsd-related?), or was in a shutdown

 – if you pay attention to what traits Kars seems to be holding in high regards - either through saying that X is a good thing about humanity, or bemoaning that humanity doesn’t have X (that he ofc does) - they’re stuff like creativity, perseverance, attention to details, pattern-based thinking, the desire to “figure stuff out”, and good memory. AKA traits often (though not always) increased in autistic people

 - at one point he says: ”In the end, you’re just another human. You see a mystery and think, ‘How odd!’ and put in on a shelf somewhere.” I’m sorry but even in context it sounds like “apparently people can see an interesting thing without instantly getting fixated and wanting to know and understand everything about it right there and then, what the fuck”

 – he tends to be either very invested in what’s going on or bored, no inbetween, and avoiding that boredom is a high priority (”And it seems I’ve run out of time to eat you all… But I wasn’t bored.”)

um yeah that’s all I can think of rn

[cwebberphotography]

  Waiting for hours in the LA airport watching as chairs are filled with interesting faces and emptied and refilled with unknowing bottoms. Unaware of who was there before them. This place may be the plastic surgery capital of the world. People all rushing trying to be somebody. So many beautiful faces, going in different directions.

Since January it’s been mostly me saying wow. Whoa. What the f?  Coming into LA it was snow topped mountains and hilly landscapes, crinkled land of trees and rocks.  Then flat. And about 10 minutes of my mouth open going whoaaaa. House after row of houses. Crenshaw. Football fields. Smog hiding the sky scrapers. And more houses. Some with yards. Some identical spirals of suburbs.

So many tans and bad tattoos. People looking confused.  I sit and watch and feel the sensation when people step on the cracks in the carpet. I was id’d for my 20$ beer.

After we board the connecting flight I fall asleep and wake up hovering 20 feet from the ground about to land in San Diego.

On the way out of Rishikesh a rickshaw took me the 20 odd kilometres out of town to the Dehredun airport. I was at lest three hours early for my flight. I just wanted to get out of India and sit in an air-conditioned lobby as early as possible. I bought a book called the God Delusion and sat and read it in front of 300 Muslims and Hindus.

I was assigned seat 1/D which was at the very front on the right aisle. The flight attendees seat was facing mine and when he sat down for take off and landing we were knee to knee. The propellers looked safe and the inside was retro. The flight was easy and fast. Then I waited in Delhi airport for six hours or so and was assigned an economy class premium just for asking at no extra cost. I had a huge seat with no one behind me, my own arm rest, it was like a little pod, just a little smaller than business class. Sitting apart from each other on planes is one of the most expensive ways to travel. When I asked to upgrade my third flight from Tokyo to Vancouver they said it would be 2000 extra dollars. The airport in Tokyo was completely empty of travelers.  It was not even six thirty a.m. and we were the first flight in. I found my gate anyway, even after being told I could leave to make the 12 hour delay a little more exciting. I opted for sleep. Gate 75 is at a dead end in the crescent shaped airport. I eventually fell asleep there for hours at a time. I would wake up, put my shoes back on and go to the washroom, fill up my water bottle and check out the one convince store that sold beer and candy and soups and t-shirts. I bought a t-shirt and chocolates and funny cakes and a tea over all.

Landing in Vancouver was the easiest airport I’ve been to so far. It’s a short walk, and I was ecstatic to be back. I could see the mountains, and feel my skin not burning. Canadians get a separate line to scan our passports and answer some multiple choice questions about where we’ve been and how long. Then you show your receipt to someone, then pick up your bags, tell someone where you’ve been and how long, then you’re free to get on the sky train and go straight downtown. In my case, to Broadway, then got on a waiting bus. It took me maybe four stops and I got off walked three blocks through a beautiful perfumy park and rang the buzzer.

For the first time in a long time I took a long hot shower. Washed my air, saw my body in a mirror with light. Totally relaxed under the hot water, scraped off some skin on my feet, massaged myself and cleaned out my nails and scalded my skin.

After a few days I’m back on schedule. Sitting in Mount Pleasant with my green smoothy and some coffee boiling. It’s a warm sunny holiday Monday and I’m listening to the Beach Boys.

Then I spent two days with Evan and Amanda in Maple Ridge. Their 3600 square foot house had a theatre, a music room an office, three or four bathrooms, two guest rooms, a hot tub, bbq, two big trucks, garage, boat, hunting rifles, just about anything you could ask for. Plus it’s between Golden Ears park and another park where you can hike to a waterfall and see glaciers. At night there are no sounds. No lights.

There, people push strollers.  There I met his friends for bbq, one was a welder one worked at the Bay. One was an arborist and former train conductor, with his baby boy who’s head was too big.  One works with computers one wants to be a cop.

They all had cars…I learned about fixed mortgages and flex rates and websites and office politics while we sat in the hot tub in our bathing suits. We heard stories of bear break-ins and how many deer you can shoot in a day.

I was able to see life through the eyes of one of my best friends. He took a different path and one I could only imagine till now. He’s got the girl, house, truck, property by the forest and an entrepreneur. Some of it I’d like, but mostly it was a view of stuff I now know I don’t want. I like traveling. It will end but for now I like seeing how other people live.

In Metchosin things are perfect.

I look up from my book and see my 93 year old grandfather laying the ground not moving. I put the book down and lean out and look a little further. He’s laying on his side talking to his cat, feeding him treats.

We sit and read at night and one day we had a big lunch so skipped dinner. I read his grandfathers letters home from India, 100’s of them. They started the same way mine did, “I can’t believe this place, I want to go home.” Letters of famine and poverty, monsoon rain, and converting Hindus to Methodists. It went on for hours until the year 1900 when he said they treated a starving little girl whose mother could only feed her pills of crushed flies when she complained of hunger. He reads me a passage from Jane Goodalls book and I read him some from mine, then we eat cereal together and go to bed early.

People here worship the ground he walks on and so they should. They ignore me completely until they ask how I know him, and when I say I am his grandson then things really get going. That happened after his birthday party. I was ignored then suddenly the centre of attention. One of his oldest friends asked what I discovered I need to change about myself in order to be happy? She was excited when I said I had more than one answer. Then we looked at every photo of India I had posted online.

The mountains here look the same as Nepal, I’ve seen these all my life but didn’t know how special they are until now. The ocean water looks psychedelic, like just another form of atoms, could be air or land but its liquid and we could walk across it if the atoms were arranged differently.  The ripples flow in all directions on an otherwise calm surface. As I go out in the kayak, on surface level the water closer to Victoria is flat and reflecting the city and nearby boats. I’m not sure if it’s a wave or a mirage or a tsunami but I continue to paddle out anyway. Mount Baker is looming over it all in the background, a big volcano looking thing covered in snow.

I try to watch each wave as it comes in off the ocean. Watch it roll in and keep its shape until it breaks on the shore. As the tide shifts out the rocks on land dry.

Swimming alone in an unknown area so far from any other people was magical. It could have been my end, one person dies in there every year. It could have been me. I almost jumped in without planning an exit. I biked 25 km on a trail and stopped by a river. After a long time of sitting on the edge I found a place where I could walk in and out. It was a cork screw made by millions of years of water erosion, into a cave with water reflecting on the rocks. I walked into the cold water and swam directly to the nearest rock and got out. Got warm again and jumped back in. To the next big rock and then crossed the river and wandered on the other side.

Swimming in the clear cool water I felt complete. It was something I really wanted to do. One of those things that you could either say you did or almost did and the difference means the world only to you. You got to experience it. Our bodies are made to float not sink. We have adapted to water. Our fingers prune to grab the rocks and pull ourselves up. Our shins are to a  point so we can walk through the water with no drag. Our feet  are like flippers.

The river is so zig zagged I couldn’t even see the water fall up ahead. All I could see was lava rocks cut through by rushing water shaped over millions of years into perfect swimming pools. The sun tanning my skin, my clothes and bag perched on the rocks somewhere. The perfect summer adventure. After kayaking on my birthday this one takes the cake. BC has it all. And I feel like I’ve taken every opportunity possible to grow. And explore and have a story to tell that isn’t full of I wish I had, it’s going to be a list of amazing sensations that I made happen because that’s living. Living isn’t biking 25 km to not swim.

And Now, California Waiting for hours in the LA airport watching as chairs are filled with interesting faces and emptied and refilled with unknowing bottoms.

[jiminie-mochii-blog]

Long Distance Love Affair

So I’ll start a new fanfiction because the other one’s finished I guess.

I wake up because my phone is ringing.

~New Message~

I yawn and look at it.

Jimin: Good morning, Beautiful.

Jimin. The boy that makes my heart beat faster every time I see him. We’ve been a couple for one year but sadly we can’t see each other. You ask why? There’s a distance of 8,247 km between us that keeps us apart. I know it’s hard to imagine how we can even talk to each other because of the 8 hour time difference. Well, we stay up early and go to bed late.

The only problem is, that we only saw each other for a short time and didn’t know about our feelings. I was at a fansign and as soon as I saw Jimin I fell in love with him. And it looks like the same happened to him because he wrote down his number while talking to me and signing the album I brought with me. Sadly, I noticed this as I was at home again. Of course, I saved his number in my phone and contacted him. There were some language barriers in the beginning but Namjoon helped him a lot and he can talk and write English almost fluently now. We got closer because we clicked quickly and couldn’t live with the other. In the beginning we were ‘just friends’ but we both knew this wouldn’t last long.

I would give everything to meet him again. This time as boyfriend and girlfriend. Every second night I have dreams about how it will and awake happy. But this time I had a nightmare like every other night. This night I dreamt about him, meeting other girls, ignoring me and just living his life without me. I felt hot tears in my eyes and quickly wiped them away.

“OH SHIT” I almost screamed as I realized almost 10 minutes already passed. I need to reply quickly or he thinks something’s wrong again. Well, it is but I don’t want him to worry.

(Y/N): Good morning, babe.

I get up and look in the mirror. “Now that’s what I call a bad hair day” I say to myself putting my hair in a ponytail. It still looks weird but I don’t care right now because no one will see me like that besides my parents. Some clothes are on the ground and I pick them up, deciding what I should wear today. I choose a black shirt and some blue shorts and go to the bathroom. As I take my toothbrush, I see that my toothpaste is empty. “Wow. Great start.” I mutter annoyed. I take the toothpaste of my mother and start brushing. After that I wash my face and put my clothes on. I go down to the kitchen and see my mother, who puts the plates on the table. The mugs are missing and I walk to the cupboard to get them.

“We’re going on a trip today for…a week” mom says. I sit down at the table and look at her.

“Who’s ‘we’?” I ask because I know I’ll probably won’t go with them since someone has to ‘take care of the plants’ and ‘feed the cat’. Mom just looks at me and sighs.

“Dad and me” she puts on a fake smile “but you can invite friends if you want to”

Friends. Just because I earn good grades doesn’t mean that I have a ton of friends. The opposite fits more. I’ve got two friends and of course Jimin. But he’s not a friend – he’s my boyfriend. Mom knows about him and is happy about that but she doesn’t care that much. She thinks I should just do what I want to since she and dad are doing the same thing.

“Don’t you want to eat something?” mom asks while looking a bit worried.

“Nah. You know I want to lose some of that baby fat.” I say as I look down at my thighs. Ugh, I hate it. Other girls can eat as much as they want and not gain weight and then there’s me. I eat quite healthy but don’t lose weight.

“But you’re not a baby anymore” mom chuckles. To some I would be a baby because I’m only 17.

“You can say that when I’m 18” I laugh and stick my tongue out to her. I look at the clock and quickly get up. “Gotta go! See you later” I run upstairs, grab my backpack and my phone, put my shoes on and leave the house. Looking at my phone I see that there are a lot of new messages.

Jimin: How did you sleep?

Jimin: Why aren’t you replying…

Jimin: Did you have that nightmare again?

Jimin: You know I won’t leave you, right?

Jimin: God damnit (Y/N)! I’m worrying!

Jimin: Where are you?!

I decide to not answer with a text but with a voicemail.

“Jiminah~ I was eating. I’m sorry. I’m gonna go to school now and I miss you. Can we talk tonight?” I say while walking to my school. Yes, I’m lying. I didn’t eat but why should I eat more than I need to? No, I’m not anorexic or bulimic. I just think I don’t have to eat out of boredom. And I don’t want Jimin to look at other girls who are skinnier than me or have a better figure. Shaking my head I try to free my brain from these thoughts.

After some minutes I arrive at school. I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. Jimin also send a voicemail.

Jimin: “I hope you ate a lot and have fun at school. Of course, we can talk tonight. I do everything for my bunny”

He giggles in the end and I have to laugh too but feel bad because I lied.

(Y/N): Pabo… You can be happy I’m sitting in the back of the room. Or else I couldn’t chat with you.

Suddenly someone sits next to me and hugs me really tight.

“Ah I missed you” she said. ‘She’ is one of my two friends and her name is Alana.

“You saw me yesterday” I say while hugging her. She’s the biggest idiot on the planet and I love that about her. She’s smart but always acts like she doesn’t know anything.

~New Message~

Alana takes my phone away and my eyes widen.

“’You better pay attention or I’ll punish you’” she says and laughs a little. My face is turning red and I take my phone away from her and hit her. I look down and see what Jimin wrote.

(Y/N): Don’t say something like that while I’m at school… You know how my friends are.

I look at Alana with an annoyed stare. She just smiles and puts her long black hair in a ponytail.

“Ah you idiot” I say hitting her again and pout.

“Why?! I think it’s cute and I know he won’t do anything since he’s the most innocent creature in the world. No, you two are the most innocent humans in the world.” she says smiling at me again. I know she just tries to be nice but I can’t stand her sometimes. She’s had many boyfriend and always breaks their hearts. She’s a player but when she loves someone, she shows it. It’s just natural to get jealous when you see someone making out with anyone while you can’t meet your own soulmate. I look down on the table.

~New Message~

Jimin: What? I didn’t mean it in a perverted way. But with you want to~

My heart beats faster as I read that and I quickly reply and put my phone faaaar away from Alana.

(Y/N): Shut up.

The teacher enters the class and the lesson starts. Alana is on her phone too. It’s good to know we both don’t need to pay attention because we’re naturally smart. We don’t know why though. The lesson seems to never end… But it doesn’t bother you since you can talk to Jimin.

Jimin: No, I won’t because I love you and cannot not talk to you. You know that.

(Y/N): Yes, I know. I just try to be cool okay?

(Y/N): Omg, no. Please forget what I just said.

Jimin: I can’t breATHE

Jimin: You’re so funny. I can’t stop laughing haha

Jimin: You don’t have to be ‘cool’ for me, babe. I love you how you are.

My face turns red again.

(Y/N): Shut up already. What are you doing? Hanging out with the hyungs?

He either is at a concert, practices or does something with the other members.

Jimin: You need to guess!

(Y/N): Well it’s around 9am so it’s 5pm in Seoul. You’re probably on your way to a restaurant!

Jimin: 100 points to this beautiful lady over here!

I need to suppress my laugh and bite on my finger. Jimin sends another voicemail and I quickly take out my headphones and plug them in.

Jimin: “Hey, say hello to (Y/N) and tell her where we’re going” he gives his phone to someone and you hear Jin’s voice “Uhm…Hi, (Y/N)! We’re going to a restaurant!” he says with excitement. I hear Jimin laughing in the background and smile. I just love his laugh, it’s the most beautiful thing. Jimin mumbles something but you can’t understand and after that the voicemail ends.

(Y/N): Wow. So many information!

Jimin: We’re going to a traditional Korean Restaurant. And you know what? I’m gonna eat as much as I want to!

I smile because I know Jimin eats well. He was always insecure about his body but he isn’t anymore.

(Y/N): I hope you keep your abs though haha

I quickly type another message

(Y/N): I was just joking. Eat as much as you want to. I love you no matter how you look.

He’s gorgeous anyways, I think to myself. Just then Jimin sends a picture of his abs.

Jimin: You mean these? They’re healthy and would like to meet you.

I feel my face getting warmer and Alana looks at me with a raised eyebrow. I quickly turn my phone away from her.

(Y/N): You know you’re killing me, right?

The lesson ends and I go to the other classroom. At least nobody sits next to me in that lesson. Maths goes over quickly and after that I can go home. While walking home I decide to listen to some music.

(Y/N): I love Mondays. I only have two hours of school.

Jimin: I need to tell you something… Are you home yet?

I raise one eyebrow and ask myself what he wants.

(Y/N): What? No but I’m almost there.

After I send this I run towards my house and see someone standing in front of the door.

(Y/N): Babe… There’s someone in front of my door.

Jimin: I know.

I slowly approach the guy and tap on his shoulder. He’s taller than me, at least 10 centimeters.

“Excuse me…?” I say with fear in my voice. The guy turns around and my phone falls out of my hand.

“I tricked you” he says and I still stand there in shock. I look into his brown eyes who sparkle in the sunlight. His hair blonde but his black roots are growing out. He wears an oversized black pullover and a ripped jeans. I feel how tears begin to stream down my face.

Suddenly he pulls me towards him. His muscular arms holding me tight. He places a kiss on my forehead and I look up at him. His eyes disappear as he smiles at me and wipes my tears away.

“Don’t cry” he says and hugs me even tighter.

“I just didn’t expect that” I say and hold onto him so tight that I can’t lose him.