#is will toledo ace? I sure hope so | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

punhetamaistriste · 1 year ago

Text

It's only sex

I like how open we are about sex. I really do. We, as young people in college, talk about sex a lot. There are loads of people actually doing sex, also. Last year I was in a relationship that involved sex, and I wasn't repulsed. I'm not repulsed by the sex talk either. I like knowing new gossip, and half the times it happens to be about sex. I like sex jokes, I like how some sex is portrayed in media, I like engaging in what other people my age engage. I also don't like sex very much.

My personal asexual circle showing how I manifest asexuality

I was 14 when I first thought about it. By that time I'd known for years I was bisexual, and I was never scared of being queer (was already a bullied child for many reasons, so I got nothing to worry about), and in high school I met another asexual person who got me thinking if I could be like them. I wrote the <i>53x + m^3 = 0 </i> on the back of my jacket, but then I was 16 and people started talking about having sex. I liked kissing people, so I could just make shit up and talk just like they did. The ace equation is an underground symbol, and it usually makes people think I just like maths (I do).

I spent some time kissing and fooling around because people are pretty and the world is nice, but I can't picture them naked. I don't want to. I want to kiss their forehead and hug them so closely I can feel their heart beating in my skin, but I don't need to be naked for that. I want intimacy, not sex. And for years I've tried, but people want sex from me. I gave sex to some of them, and two of my affairs involved sex on a regular basis (both because of my people pleaser syndrome and my angst towards seeking intimacy from people I'm not very emotionally close to fill the void). My favourite affairs were online, and one (with whom I considered for some time The Love of My Life!) consisted in back and forth trips to each other's houses to kiss and hug and watch anime. Not sex. I didn't want it. We didn't need it. We knew what we were. Couples don't need sex. Well, eventually he did and confessed he was just not sexually attracted to me. Being square, I took it as treason, because he still wanted to have sex with other people. I felt abnormal, and I hate feeling abnormal. We broke up.

I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm afraid of dying alone, even though a cat and a dog in a house with a yard would be awesome for me already. I want to feel that part of life, I want to say I lived love, I lived fully. That's no weakness. I don't usually disclose to people that I'm asexual because I don't think they're actually understood, and I'm already misunderstood enough. I think I'd be unconsciously left out, and I like being in. I like knowing new gossip, and half the times it happens to be about sex. I like sex jokes, I like how some sex is portrayed in media, I like engaging in what other people my age engage. I just don't like sex. Is it that weird?!

I never know when it's time to tell someone I'm making romantic advances that I don't want to have sex with them, but I don't. They're pretty and nice and I want to touch them and sleep with them, but not in a sex way. It's hard to tell, and it usually make things weird. I hate making things weird.

I'm thinking about "coming out" so I don't have to tell. Be a proud ace. But not now. I'm pretty and young, I like to decieve. Maybe soon. I want you to know I am not sexually attracted to you, and I just want to be close. I like being close. Maybe I'm demi or gray I don't know about the spectrum very well and I don't think I care. I don't think about sex with you (maybe I do, but thinking how it'd make a good story or a song), and I don't want to orgasm thinking of you.

I want to sleep with you, but only in the literal sense.

#actually asexual #yikes #my writing #my experiences #car seat headrest #is will toledo ace? I sure hope so

1 note · View note

eddysocs · 2 years ago

Text

Home Sweet Toledo (Max Klinger x OC)

Summary: Klinger is feeling particularly homesick, and Cynthia comes up with an idea that may be just the remedy he needs.

Word Count: 1,334

Warnings: None

Homesick was a word anyone would use to describe Klinger. It seemed to be his defining personality trait at times, and usually he dealt with it well, one crazy scheme after the next. But sometimes it really showed in a far more serious and somber manner. And Cynthia understood it. Hell, she felt that way herself every now and again. Who wouldn’t in a war torn country like Korea? But for as long as she’d been with the 4077th, she’d never seen him quite like this.

He was quiet, keeping to himself, and didn’t do much more than kick rocks around with the toe of his high heels unless something was asked of him, and even then his task wasn’t done with its usual muster. Cynthia couldn’t see him go on like that any longer. Maybe he’d given up trying to go home on a Section 8, but that didn’t mean a bit of home couldn’t come here to him.

Naturally, as her plan started to form, she saw no better option than to recruit Hawkeye and Trapper to help make it happen. "So, it’s like this," Cynthia began, barging into the Swamp.

"Oh no, Bugs, what’s Daffy gonna get us into this time," Trapper cracked, making Hawkeye laugh.

"Very funny," Cynthia deadpanned, clearly not amused. "I'm trying to do something nice, and if anyone can help me convince everyone to buck up and join, it’s the two of you."

Seeing the serious look on her face, Hawkeye replied, "Alright, what’s the plan?"

Cynthia outlined her idea to the two of them, telling them how she wanted to make a sort of mock Mud Hens game for Klinger to make him feel like he’s back in Toledo.

"Sounds fun," Trapper said when Cynthia finished explaining.

"A lot better than sitting here knitting," Hawkeye agreed.

"Then you’re in? I can count on you?"

"Can’t say we can whip a professional baseball team into shape overnight, but yeah, we'll get you your players. Just as long as you promise us that you get some of the nurses to be our cheerleaders," Hawkeye bargained.

"Cheerleaders? In baseball," Cynthia questioned.

"It'll boost morale," Trapper reasoned, with an impish grin on his face.

"Fine. Cheerleaders. Got it. Shouldn’t be too hard."

So Cynthia began her recruitment for cheerleaders, stopping off first at the nurses tent. There was a good few of them that were on board as soon as she’d pitched the idea. The ones who weren’t so keen agreed to be spectators, so all in all, she fared pretty well with her end of the deal. It’d be a bonus if she could get Margaret as well.

To her utter shock, her visit to Margaret's tent went surprisingly well. Cynthia figured a game of baseball was hardly military enough for her to approve of, but she got on board with the idea rather quickly. "I haven’t worn a skirt in what feels like ages. Sure, I’ll be a cheerleader." With such a satisfactory reply, Cynthia had merely thanked her and went on her way.

The following morning Cynthia checked in with Hawkeye and Trapper. "Got me my teams yet?"

"Still working on it. A few people are being rather stubborn about playing their role." Hawkeye shot a sidelong glance over to Frank, making sure that he knew he was talking about him. Frank only harrumphed.

"We got a lot of spectators though," supplied Trapper. "And Radar offered to be the announcer. We're participating, of course, and we got Henry and a few other guys to fill the field. We just need a catcher."

"Frank, you mean," Cynthia surmised.

"That’s what we were hoping," Trapper confirmed.

"I think I can persuade him." Cynthia gave a knowing wink, having just the ace up her sleeve to get Major Burns in on the game, whether he wanted to or not. And with that it was back to Margaret.

"Game's set for Friday afternoon, bearing in mind we don’t get a surge of casualties. We’ve got enough cheerleaders and almost two whole teams. We just need one catcher. Any chance you can convince Major Burns?"

"Like you even have to ask. I’ll have him suited up and on the field before you can say ‘home run'."

"Thank you, Major."

Finally, with everything in order, Friday afternoon had arrived. Cynthia made sure everyone was in position, save for Colonel Blake, who was set on his task of keeping Klinger busy and unaware of the surprise that awaited him. It was Radar's announcement to kick off the game that was Henry's cue to take Klinger back outside.

"What’s all this, sir," he asked, taking in the makeshift baseball diamond drawn in the dirt.

"It’s a little taste of home. A certain nurse noticed how much you were missing old Ohio and set this whole thing up just for you."

"You mean…Cynthia did all this?"

"She had a little help, but yeah. All her idea. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get on the field. And I think there’s a front row seat with your name on it."

Klinger went over and grabbed the empty chair in the front as he took in the spectacle of the game. There were the 'Indianapolis Indians', which were just white shirts with the lettering written on with black markers. And then his team, the Toledo Mud Hens. Only one real jersey was on the field. Cynthia, who stood at the pitcher's mound, was wearing it, and had probably taken it from his tent earlier. The rest of the team was in gray, again with the team name handwritten, in red this time. Messy as it was, he had to admire the effort.

As the game played on, Klinger found himself as caught up in the action as if he were at a real Mud Hens game. It was far from professional, as the strength of Cynthia's pitches sometimes knocked Frank over or made him scream in fear as he attempted to play his role of catcher. But the rest of the participants proved to be adequate at the game.

Cynthia found herself thankful that they’d made it a whole nine innings without interruption from choppers. She really couldn’t have asked for anything better when she’d envisioned her plan coming together. And one last swing was going to determine if the 'Mud Hens' won or not. Cynthia sent the pitch flying towards Frank, counting on Hawkeye striking out. God love him, but he wasn’t the most athletic. Though that worked out in her favor as the pitch sailed into Frank's glove.

Cynthia cheered, as did the rest of her makeshift team as they claimed the win. After a moment of celebration, Cynthia locked eyes with Klinger and waved him over. As the team disbanded after a group hug, Cynthia and Klinger were left alone in the middle of the improvised baseball diamond. "You pulled all of this together for me?"

"Of course I did," Cynthia replied, as if it were obvious that she’d do such a thing, and Klinger supposed that it actually was. "I know it’s not really Toledo, or the Mud Hens, but I hope it brought you a little taste of home."

"Oh, it did, but uh, I’m not sure I've ever wanted to kiss a Mud Hens player before?"

"First time for everything," Cynthia teased, before enveloping Klinger in her arms, dipping him low and kissing him. The rest of the 4077th that had stuck around whooped and hollered, egging them on. Klinger had to hold onto his hat to keep it from falling off his head. Cynthia kept him balanced by grabbing onto his thigh before she eventually let him up on his own two feet again.

"Next time you’re feeling homesick, just talk to me, okay? I don’t think I can get everyone to do this again."

Klinger grinned and Cynthia smiled back at him, happy to see the cheerful look return to his face. "You got yourself a deal."

Cynthia Swanson: @borg-queer, @sicktember

#oc: cynthia swanson #fc: cheryl ladd #fd: m*a*s*h #cynthia x max #max klinger #max klinger x oc #m*a*s*h #mash #mash 4077 #sicktember 2022

4 notes · View notes

smoothshift · 5 years ago

Text

Car Enthusiast Buys a Tesla Model 3 Performance: It's an Electric Muscle Car via /r/cars

Car Enthusiast Buys a Tesla Model 3 Performance: It's an Electric Muscle Car

TL:DR: At its core, the car is a stereotypical amercian muscle sedan, but electric. And I think it’s quite cheap for what it is.

Let me preface this with a warning that in the text below I likely offended plenty of car enthusiasts and Tesla fans in some way. I apologize for that, these are just my personal views.

I’m your stereotypical car enthusiast. The latest eight new/used performance cars I’ve had were all stick-shift and either RWD or Turbo-AWD. A few were hatches/wagons. The last few were all RWD. Over the years I also co-drove a bunch of other fun cars (and lots of Miatas) at autox. I’ve had my Chevy SS for 4+ years now, and only recently got the itch for a new performance car to dailydrive. I ‘normally’ get the itch after less than two years, so the SS was/is pretty awesome. The new car had to be not slower than my SS and feel different/special enough to justify the switch. See the bottom for a list of cars I cross-shopped.

I was thinking of a BEV for a while. With the nearest Tesla service center 170 miles away I never really considered one. Until May, when a new service center opened in Toledo, OH, just south of the Michigan border and like 30 minutes away from me. Once I learned that, I made an appointment for a ‘demonstration’ drive in Troy, MI. Drove a base Model 3 with ‘premium’ interior and a dual-motor 90(?) KWh Model S to get a sense of acceleration and was sold. Ordered a black Model 3 Performance (P3D is how people call it on Tesla forums), with white seats and no extra ‘full-self-driving’ vaporware for an extra $6k. Picked it up about a week ago and drove it home from Cleveland. Been driving it every day since, have about 500 miles already.

Obligatory picture.

A perfect one-liner to describe it to an enthusiast: an electric muscle car. And I mean it in the stereotypical sense, ignoring good handling the Camaro/Mustang have these days. The best thing about the P3D is its acceleration/launch. It’s effortless, quite violent, repeatable, pretty thrilling (gotta make sure to have empty-ish stomach), and very usable in regular driving. For the money, it’s a ridiculous bargain. All the new cars I’ve tested in the price range are slower in a straight line. For all of them, to get their stated street acceleration you’d be risking ‘reckless-driving’ tickets for tire squeal/slip on launch. The rest of the car is okayish (to the point of me thinking getting a tacky license UMichigan plate that’d say Mehsla). Fit and finish is just passable (just like a lot of muscle cars), handling is decent but not spectacular, and the tires won’t last long if pushed. The basic autopilot I got is nice for highway cruising behind a truck on a nice sunny day to save electricity, but I wouldn’t trust it with anything else. The “self-driving capability” gives you enhanced autopilot which will change lanes by itself. I got to try it briefly on my test-drive and it was scary at how cautious and undecisive it was. I am virtually certain there will be no ‘robotaxis’ based on Model3s in a year. Not doable w/o plenty of LIDARs.

But the way the P3D slingshots from a stop makes a long list of minor annoyances (see below) kinda irrelevant. Now, people do get used to power. So, it’s possible that I’ll miss the noise of a V8. But at this point I’m not so sure. Think about why car enthusiasts are attached to the noise. Probably because racecar. Those have free flowing exhausts to go faster. But if you can go faster w/o the noise in the EV should you be attached to the noise? If so, just buy a Harley. Don’t get me wrong, I still like a nice exhaust since that preference got engrained deep into my brain over the years, but I think I’m gonna be fine w/o the engine noise in a car that’s fast w/o it. I’d prefer to have more responsive/communicative steering before the noise.

I’m not a Musk apologist, neither I’m a Tesla corporate fan. Probably closer to the opposite. At the moment I think the Tesla may not survive the next recession+stock market downturn on their own. So why did I buy one? Mostly because I think that at the moment TSLA stock investors are basically subsidizing Tesla customer prices. If Tesla had to stand on their own and show consistent profit margins, P3D-level performance would be a lot more expensive. Look at Audi/Jag new EV offerings. Slower/heavier/shorter range, tens of thousands of $$ more expensive. I took this as a sign of things to come: once Tesla brand gets acquired by a larger manufacturer, prices will likely go up because that’s what people pay for this level of performance from established manufactures. So, if you’re in a position to buy it, there’s a service center near you, and you have a warm garage (or live where there’s no real winter), go schedule a test drive, you might be surprised. Having another car as a back-up is a plus though.

I don’t want to make this a super-long post, so here's just a bunch of random points about the Model 3, some from an enthusiast’s point of view I haven't seen covered much:

Little need to warm-up before flooring it, at least during the three warm seasons, unlike normal cars which need 5-10 minutes to warm the engine/transmission oil (there’s still the differential fluid to warm up though)

The ‘Performance’ model is really all about straight line acceleration, especially the launch.

Almost no camber stock

No way to add more with stock hardware, no aftermarket hardware other than lowering springs or coilovers to pick up some much needed camber.

As a result, tracking/autox-ing requires stupid-high tire pressures not to kill tires very quickly, but they will still die just regular-quickly

Very limited aftermarket suspension options

Not much clearance to upper control arm for wider tires/more camber while staying close to stock offset.

Not much space in the wheel well to go wider w/o killing paintwork by having the wheels stick out.

Thick stud bolts, so many popular aftermarket wheels might not fit, despite a popular 5x114.3 bolt pattern. Weird shape of rear calipers that limits wheel choices further.

Has bigger Brembo brakes though.

Only tried the ‘track mode’ a handful of times yet. It’s a bit detrimental to street acceleration, and brake vectoring makes the turn-in a bit livelier. Haven’t pushed it yet.

Handling is pretty good, especially for the weight. It feels less heavy than my SS with Magneride in Track mode. The wheel has nice weight and very quick ration, but very little feed back. But you can hear the tires. The first time you hear those work the turn is a revelation previously muffled by engine noises.

It's pretty comfortable even with 20” wheels. Low center of gravity means the springs can be softer w/o much body roll.

The 20” wheels are reportedly very prone to bending, looking to change those out soon.

I find myself driving it in a lot more relaxed manner w/o the engine growling me on.

Doing interior mods with the car plugged in/music playing/AC on is nice. In a regular car it’d require hooking up a battery tender and would still be no AC.

There's a considerable amount of condensation from battery thermal management and A/C. Make sure your garage drains work well.

Seats are fine for me. Felt a bit tight at first, but all good now. It may be a problem for bigger butts. Feels like driver’s seat has a hair more lateral support than my Chevy SS (low bar to surpass). Not performance seats in any way.

Pretty decent adjustable (in/out up/down) lumbar support.

Pre-warming/cooling the car via the app is nice.

Regen braking will come natural to stick-shift drivers. Feels just like driving in 2nd-3rd gears. Lift off the gas and the car slows deliberately but not too aggressively. There’s also a setting to make this feel more like a typical automatic car with some loss of efficiency.

Order to delivery was barely 10 days. Felt weird, in an instant gratification kind of way, after having to generally wait months for my recent new cars.

Rear visibility is pretty poor. Excellent view out of the front, however. No dash really opens up a lot of space for the eye.

Annoyances:

Automatic emergency braking and Emergency Lane Departure assist needs to be disabled every time you drive. I hope there’s a software fix to this at some point.

Software bugs. Had to reboot the screen a few times already. Those were while parked, but still annoying. But in general tablet for an interface doesn’t bother me at all. The software in generaly is pretty polished and intuitive.

Paint quality. Looked okaish at delivery. After washing the wax away, it was terrible. Caked in water spots on most of the hood (but not elsewhere). Spent whole Saturday polishing. Only got it to ‘passable’. Orange peel level is again similar to some of the Detroit products.

Jacking it up would be a pain w/o a lift. It only has 4 designated jacking spots, so no clue how one would jack one wheel and put a jack stand in there at the same time.

The car does not come with a spare, nor is there an inflator kit.

No seat ventilation/cooling. Seats can get pretty warm.

No ‘basic’ cruise control, only the ‘traffic aware’ one, which will come up on someone doing 10 under and sit there.

Today is the last day of my 7-day return window, and I’m keeping it. Just for reference, if one wanted to return, it could take 1-2 months to get their money back from Tesla. If one wanted a replacement car in that time, they’d likely have to get a new loan with their financial institution.

Now I just have to make sure not to get rear-ended. Cause that could lead to 2-4 months of wait for replacement body parts. Statistically, it’s a 2-3% probability event in a given year. I hope the situation improves in the future.

I’m definitely keeping my S2000 for raw feel and top-down driving. Not sure on the SS. It’s too nice to keep it as a winter back-up car.

For reference, here’s what I looked at before pulling the trigger on a Tesla: I’ve looked at a bunch of different slighly used C7 Corvettes. Non-Z06 ones didn’t feel different enough from my SS to justify giving up two doors for. The Z06 is awesome, but the power is not really usable below 40-60mph. It’s a waste of a car to daily it. The GT350 was the frontrunner for a while, but in the end it’s conceptually very similar to the SS with just a different noise (heavenly, yes). Also, living in Michigan, I see a least a couple GT350s every day. The ZL1 looks/visibility are not my cup of tea. The M3/4 is nice, but the sound they make during warm-up absolutely turns me off. I’d also want to do a euro-delivery if I were to get one, but doing that right now exposes one to risks of tariffs going up on euro cars over the next few months. Those are also quite a bit more expensive in livable configs. The M2c is somehow too small and too heavy for a compact car at the same time. If it was available as a hatch I’d own it already though. That pretty much exhausted my stick-shift options. Then I decided to widen the search to sigh automatics. I’ve looked at discounted new MY18 Alfa Quadrifoglios (got a CEL during a test-drive, lol), Audi TT-RS (the dealer wouldn’t let me launch it, naturally. It felt fast but not crazy fast otherwise, probably the most similar car in straight line performance). Also tried the G70 Sport. It’s pretty nice, but not for the price they are asking. I’ve tried a Hellcat Charger, and the 392 Charger a while back. Those are nice, but I’d rather supercharge my SS instead. Same feeling about the ATS-V. Throwing a blower on the SS was starting to look like a plan until I test-drove a Tesla. I was thinking of an electric car to daily for a while. In Michigan, GM doesn’t offer much in a way of sweet Bolt lease deals they have in Cali, and even for a recently-discounted prices I couldn’t get over how slow it is other than off the line. Didn’t consider the new Audi/Jag EVs, too expensive, too slow, too heavy.

#reddit #autonews #auto #cars

0 notes

junker-town · 7 years ago

Text

How 2017 can show Jeff Brohm was a great hire for Purdue

Even if the Boilermakers don’t win many more games just yet.

This preview originally published June 20 and has since been updated.

The most intriguing hires are the ones that both portend quality and make a nod toward a happy history. The most frustrating hires are the ones that do neither.

Purdue’s hire of Darrell Hazell in 2013 fell into the latter category for me. I gave it a B+ when it was first made, but when the time came to write the Purdue preview that summer, I was increasingly lukewarm. I called it taking the mannequin home — finding the most Big Ten person available, with the deepest Big Ten ties, and asking that guy to win in the Big Ten. Hazell was a longtime Jim Tressel assistant who played safe, focused on defense and ball control, and had had one good year as a head coach.

The hire was sensible, but it in no way acknowledged Purdue’s history. Over the last 60 years, the school has made three good football hires:

Jack Mollenkopf was a high school coaching legend in the Toledo area and spent nearly a decade on Stuart Holcomb’s Purdue staff before taking the job full-time in 1956. By his second year, he had Purdue among the nation’s top 40 in scoring offense. By his fifth, he had the Boilers in the top 15. At the end of the 1960s, two of his players nearly won the Heisman — running back Leroy Keyes finished second to O.J. Simpson in 1968, and quarterback Mike Phipps finished second to Oklahoma’s Steve Owens in 1969.

Jim Young was Bo Schembechler’s defensive coordinator at Michigan, which checks a big BIG TEN box, but before coming to West Lafayette, he had spent four seasons at Arizona. In his third year, the Wildcats were 10th in scoring at 30 points per game. In his fourth, with new skill position starters, they still averaged 25.7 (22nd).

Like Young, Joe Tiller had spent four seasons as a Big Ten defensive coordinator (he was Purdue’s from 1983-86), but he had moved to offensive coordinator at Wyoming and Washington State, and his six years as Wyoming head coach had been marked by aerial innovation. In his last season in Laramie, quarterback Josh Wallwork threw for 4,090 yards, and the Cowboys were seventh in the nation, averaging 38.7 points per game.

These coaches went a combined 208-120-10 with 15 ranked finishes and 14 bowl bids in 31 years. (The number of bowls would have been higher if the Big Ten had been more than a one-bid league during Mollenkopf’s era.)

The other seven Purdue coaches in this span: 115-218-6 in 30 years, with three bowl bids and no ranked finishes.

Purdue has succeeded with an eye toward offense. Hazell was an offensive assistant at Ohio State, Rutgers, etc., but the hire lacked ambition, and it glommed onto someone else's history. Defense and ball control works when you’ve got Ohio State recruits, not whatever Hazell was going to attract to Purdue.

Hazell went 9-33. His recruiting wasn’t good enough to succeed with any style, and the conservatism assured the Boilermakers were both bad and aesthetically unappealing.

Credit new athletic director Mike Bobinski with understanding that both aesthetics and history are important. Bobinski dismissed Hazell midway through a dismal 3-9 campaign — Purdue’s fourth straight season with three or fewer wins and its seventh bowl-free campaign in nine years — and replaced him with the Tiller template: a successful mid-major head coach with a dynamite offense.

Brohm barely has more experience than Hazell; he spent three years as Western Kentucky’s head man, just one more than Hazell spent at Kent State. And while he has aced recent tests, he has plenty of iffy stops on his résumé: his first Louisville offense (2008) fell from ninth to 76th in Off. S&P+, his two seasons as Illinois’ quarterbacks coach (2010-11) were hit-and-miss, and his lone season as UAB coordinator (2012) was a non-starter. Plus, just because his teams score points doesn’t mean he’s destined to win.

Still, it’s hard not to be excited. Bobinski went out and nabbed a guy who’s won 30 games in three years and whose teams scored more points in three years (1,834) than Purdue has scored in six (1,784).

Brohm came to WKU with Bobby Petrino in 2013 and took over when Petrino left for Louisville after one season. He took everything Petrino (and Willie Taggart before him) was building and weaponized it. The Hilltoppers were 61st in S&P+ in his first season and in the top 20 in each of the last two years. They were the highest-ranking Group of Five team both years.

When Brohm has pieces, he knows how to use them. But it might still take him a little while to put pieces together. He inherits a quarterback who threw 21 interceptions last year, a receiving corps that has to replace its top four, and a defense that fell from 58th to 73rd to 99th in Def. S&P+ over the last two years. At WKU, he didn’t have to show patience. But on paper, this was a home run, and Purdue fans have reasons to be excited for the first time in a long while.

2016 in review

2016 Purdue statistical profile.

My 2016 Purdue preview was titled, “Purdue will field a football team in 2016.” We break out the snarky titles only when we’re sure a season is going to be awful.

If you’re scouring for a sliver of hope for 2017, it might be worth noting that Purdue’s mostly young offense — sophomore quarterback, sophomore running back, freshmen and sophomores accounting for 24 of 60 starts on the offensive line — showed some of up-and-down promise throughout the season, both before and after Hazell’s firing.

First 5 games (3-2): Avg. percentile performance: 39% (43% offense, 34% defense) | Avg. yards per play: Opp 5.4, PU 5.4 | Avg. score: Opp 31, PU 26

Last 7 games (0-7): Avg. percentile performance: 31% (42% offense, 27% defense) | Avg. yards per play: Opp 6.8, PU 4.9 | Avg. score: Opp 43, PU 24

The offense wasn’t good, but the high points — 6-plus yards per play in each non-conference game, 6.3 per play and 35 points against Iowa — were reasonably high. The defense, however, fell apart. The line, expected to be a relative strength, was destroyed by injury, and the Boilers had little else to offer.

Offense

Full advanced stats glossary.

If you’re scouring for optimism, you’ve also got this nugget:

QB Mike White, USF, 2014: 50% completion rate, 13.4 yards per completion, 2.9% INT rate, 6.2% sack rate, 5.9 yards per pass attempt (inc. sacks)

QB Mike White, WKU, 2016: 67% completion rate, 15.6 yards per completion, 1.7% INT rate, 4.1% sack rate, 9.8 yards per pass attempt (inc. sacks)

Under the guidance of Brohm and quarterbacks coach/offensive co-coordinator Brian Brohm, White thrived. His USF past was in no way a WKU prologue.

And David Blough’s 2016 was better than White’s 2014 in most categories. Or at least, it wasn’t worse.

QB David Blough, Purdue, 2016: 57% completion rate, 11.4 yards per completion, 4.1% INT rate, 5.1% sack rate, 5.8 yards per pass attempt (inc. sacks)

Blough threw more picks despite throwing shorter passes, but he was also facing better defenses than what White faced; Wisconsin ranked seventh in Def. S&P+, Penn State ranked 14th, Iowa ranked 15th, Minnesota ranked 23rd, Indiana ranked 31st, Northwestern ranked 32nd, and Nebraska ranked 33rd.

Blough was dealt a tough hand, but he still managed 3,352 passing yards and 25 touchdowns to go with his 21 picks, and now he’s under the guidance of QB whisperers. Plus, though the line has to replace three longtime starters, sophomore tackle Matt McCann has potential, and the addition of 6’8 Rhode Island transfer Dave Steinmetz (a three-year starting tackle for the Rams), NIU transfer Shane Evans, and 6’7 redshirt freshman Grant Hermanns offers options and upside.

That all sounds great! Now Blough just needs people to give the ball to. A minor issue, that. DeAngelo Yancey was the bright spot of Purdue’s 2016 offense, finishing with 49 catches for 951 yards. He’s gone. So are the next three on the list: Bilal Marshall, Cameron Posey, and Dominique Young. Running back Markell Jones showed efficiency potential but offered almost no big-play threat; in fact, Purdue had just 32 rushes of 10-plus yards in 2016, fewest in the country.

Sandra Dukes-USA TODAY Sports

Markell Jones

Jones had explosive moments as a freshman in 2015, so perhaps he shouldn’t be written off. But Jones aside, Purdue will be reliant on newcomers, injury returnees, and youngsters.

Running back D.J. Knox returns after missing 2016 with injury. He’s a bouncy 5’7, but didn’t provide much explosiveness.

Receiver Corey Holmes is a four-star Notre Dame transfer with length (6’2) and upside, though he gained just 96 yards in 11 receptions last year.

Running back Brian Lankford-Johnson provided all the explosiveness Jones didn’t, but after gaining 127 yards in 18 carries against Illinois, he carried just 21 times the rest of the year.

Receivers Isaac Zico and Terry Wright are 6’0 JUCO transfers who will be counted on soon.

Receivers Tyler Hamilton and Jackson Anthrop have speed to burn out of the slot, but both are freshmen (Hamilton’s a true freshman, Anthrop a redshirt).

Tight ends Cole Herdman and Brycen Hopkins combined for 45 catches and 527 yards last year; they could be threats, considering the success WKU’s Tyler Higbee had under Brohm in 2015 (38 catches, 563 yards). But this is a mix-and-match set of newbies and guys who didn’t carve out success on a bad 2016 offense. There are almost no seniors, so whoever emerges will provide continuity in 2018, but this might take a while.

Matt Cashore-USA TODAY Sports

Corey Holmes

Defense

Brohm brought a large portion of his WKU staff with him to West Lafayette, and that includes new defensive co-coordinator Nick Holt.

Holt’s WKU defenses were angry, improving from 118th in Def. S&P+ in 2014 to 43rd in 2016. His 2016 defense dominated run games and forced opponents to the air. Granted, the Hilltoppers struggled to stop opponents through the air, but rendering them one-dimensional was a nice first step. Purdue had no such strength last year.

Brohm also brought Anthony Poindexter as defensive co-coordinator; the former All-American Virginia safety was Bob Diaco’s DC at UConn the last three years, carving out a bend-don’t-break niche that was the polar opposite of Holt’s. We’ll see what that means for Purdue’s philosophy.

Like WKU’s 2016 defense, however, the strength should reside up front. It should have last year, too, but the Boilermakers couldn’t keep anybody healthy. Of the eight primary linemen, only two played in all 12 games, and the other five missed a combined 29 games. Plus, Ja’Whaun Bentley, easily Purdue’s most disruptive linebacker, missed three games.

Bentley’s back, as are sophomore Markus Bailey and senior Danny Ezechukwu. WKU graduate transfer T.J. McCollum joins the rotation, too, and could form one of the better linebacking corps in the Big Ten. Bailey combined six tackles for loss with six passes defensed, and McCollum was a key piece of WKU’s strong run defense.

Trevor Ruszkowski-USA TODAY Sports

Markus Bailey

Up front, losing tackle Jake Replogle and end Evan Panfil (combined: 21.5 TFLs, 7.5 sacks) hurts, but four others got decent experience between injuries. Holt and Poindexter are weighing moving 280-pound end Gelen Robinson (8 TFLs) inside, which could provide quickness alongside players like tackles Eddy Wilson and Lorenzo Neal and end Austin Larkin.

Depth could be a concern among the front seven, but the first string could be disruptive. You could have the exact opposite in the secondary, where injuries created depth of experience — seven returnees made at least 6.5 tackles last year — but few known quantities.

Sophomore safety Navon Mosley was asked to take on a huge role early, as were sophomore corner Josh Hayes and juniors Tim Cason, Jacob Thieneman, and Antonio Blackmon. Seniors Da’Wan Hunte (corner) and C.J. Parker (safety) are back as well. There are options, especially considering the addition of mid-three-star recruits T.J. Jallow (a JUCO corner) and Dedrick Mackey (freshman corner), but there’s no guarantee anyone will step up. The pass rush better come through.

Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Navon Mosley (27)

Special Teams

Purdue’s special teams unit was young as hell, with a freshman place-kicker and kickoffs guy (J.D. Dellinger), sophomore punter (Joe Schopper), and freshman kick returner (Brian Lankford-Johnson). So there’s an excuse for why the Boilers ranked 83rd in Special Teams S&P+.

Lankford-Johnson was semi-efficient, and Schopper was downright good, so there’s reason to believe this unit will improve. Dellinger made just 75 percent of his under-40 kicks, though, and barely ever reached the end zone on kickoffs. [Update: Purdue’s since added grad transfer Spencer Evans, a big-legged kicker from Baylor.]

2017 outlook

2017 Schedule & Projection Factors

Date Opponent Proj. S&P+ Rk Proj. Margin Win Probability 2-Sep vs. Louisville 14 -24.7 8% 8-Sep Ohio 103 6.3 64% 16-Sep at Missouri 53 -13.1 23% 23-Sep Michigan 10 -24.0 8% 7-Oct Minnesota 47 -8.5 31% 14-Oct at Wisconsin 11 -27.7 5% 21-Oct at Rutgers 92 -1.8 46% 28-Oct Nebraska 42 -9.7 29% 4-Nov Illinois 85 1.8 54% 11-Nov at Northwestern 37 -15.7 18% 18-Nov at Iowa 48 -13.5 22% 25-Nov Indiana 39 -10.6 27%

Projected S&P+ Rk 87 Proj. Off. / Def. Rk 95 / 81 Projected wins 3.4 Five-Year S&P+ Rk -3.8 (86) 2- and 5-Year Recruiting Rk 72 / 71 2016 TO Margin / Adj. TO Margin* -17 / -5.9 2016 TO Luck/Game -4.6 Returning Production (Off. / Def.) 66% (55%, 76%) 2016 Second-order wins (difference) 3.0 (0.0)

Brohm doesn’t inherit a senior-heavy squad. That’s a plus. Granted, seniors could make up about half of the defense, but the odds are good that whoever emerges will return in 2018.

This might not be a full-fledged Year Zero situation, in which the smartest thing to do is strip the house to the studs and start over. Brohm might be able to get mileage out of Blough and some new skill guys, and maybe there’s enough in the defensive front seven to keep the Boilers in games.

Still, the schedule doesn’t include many likely wins, even for a slightly improved team. The Boilermakers will probably beat Ohio and could hope to split tossup games against Rutgers and Illinois and maybe steal an upset against a Missouri or Minnesota or Nebraska or Indiana. But 2017 will be mostly about planting seeds.

Team preview stats

All power conference preview data to date.

0 notes

junker-town · 7 years ago

Text

How 2017 can show Jeff Brohm was a great hire for Purdue

Even if the Boilermakers don’t win many more games just yet.

The most intriguing hires are the ones that both portend quality and make a nod toward a happy history. The most frustrating hires are the ones that do neither.

The hire was sensible, but it in no way acknowledged Purdue’s history. Over the last 60 years, the school has made three good football hires:

The other seven Purdue coaches in this span: 115-218-6 in 30 years, with three bowl bids and no ranked finishes.

Hazell went 9-33. His recruiting wasn’t good enough to succeed with any style, and the conservatism assured the Boilermakers were both bad and aesthetically unappealing.

2016 in review

2016 Purdue statistical profile.

My 2016 Purdue preview was titled, “Purdue will field a football team in 2016.” We break out the snarky titles only when we’re sure a season is going to be awful.

First 5 games (3-2): Avg. percentile performance: 39% (43% offense, 34% defense) | Avg. yards per play: Opp 5.4, PU 5.4 | Avg. score: Opp 31, PU 26

Last 7 games (0-7): Avg. percentile performance: 31% (42% offense, 27% defense) | Avg. yards per play: Opp 6.8, PU 4.9 | Avg. score: Opp 43, PU 24

Offense

Full advanced stats glossary.

If you’re scouring for optimism, you’ve also got this nugget:

QB Mike White, USF, 2014: 50% completion rate, 13.4 yards per completion, 2.9% INT rate, 6.2% sack rate, 5.9 yards per pass attempt (inc. sacks)

QB Mike White, WKU, 2016: 67% completion rate, 15.6 yards per completion, 1.7% INT rate, 4.1% sack rate, 9.8 yards per pass attempt (inc. sacks)

Under the guidance of Brohm and quarterbacks coach/offensive co-coordinator Brian Brohm, White thrived. His USF past was in no way a WKU prologue.

And David Blough’s 2016 was better than White’s 2014 in most categories. Or at least, it wasn’t worse.

QB David Blough, Purdue, 2016: 57% completion rate, 11.4 yards per completion, 4.1% INT rate, 5.1% sack rate, 5.8 yards per pass attempt (inc. sacks)

Sandra Dukes-USA TODAY Sports

Markell Jones

Jones had explosive moments as a freshman in 2015, so perhaps he shouldn’t be written off. But Jones aside, Purdue will be reliant on newcomers, injury returnees, and youngsters.

Running back D.J. Knox returns after missing 2016 with injury. He’s a bouncy 5’7, but didn’t provide much explosiveness.

Receiver Corey Holmes is a four-star Notre Dame transfer with length (6’2) and upside, though he gained just 96 yards in 11 receptions last year.

Running back Brian Lankford-Johnson provided all the explosiveness Jones didn’t, but after gaining 127 yards in 18 carries against Illinois, he carried just 21 times the rest of the year.

Receivers Isaac Zico and Terry Wright are 6’0 JUCO transfers who will be counted on soon.

Receivers Tyler Hamilton and Jackson Anthrop have speed to burn out of the slot, but both are freshmen (Hamilton’s a true freshman, Anthrop a redshirt).

Matt Cashore-USA TODAY Sports

Corey Holmes

Defense

Brohm brought a large portion of his WKU staff with him to West Lafayette, and that includes new defensive co-coordinator Nick Holt.

Trevor Ruszkowski-USA TODAY Sports

Markus Bailey

Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Navon Mosley (27)

Special Teams

2017 outlook

2017 Schedule & Projection Factors

Brohm doesn’t inherit a senior-heavy squad. That’s a plus. Granted, seniors could make up about half of the defense, but the odds are good that whoever emerges will return in 2018.

Team preview stats

All power conference preview data to date.

0 notes