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onas-batlle · 10 months ago

Text

sacred new beginnings

pairing: lucy bronze x ona batlle

warnings: none

synopsis: after finding out that ona hasn’t gone on a proper date in years, lucy offers to take her out on a couple of purely platonic dates. just to get the anxiety out of the way, of course. why else?

a/n: i know people voted for this fic to remain an x reader, but i couldn’t bring myself to not make this about lucy & ona, so I edited it a bit! unsure if i will publish an x reader version of this because i’m not really bothered, but we shall see 😊 i also have no idea if there is a lake for fishing in barcelona, so suspend your belief for a bit please!

Ao3 Link

———

There’s no time to feel more out of the loop than when one’s circle of friends discusses their romantic escapades, and that was exactly how Ona felt as the number of dates she had been on recently was a big, fat zero. Being basically married to her job did not allow for many dating opportunities, and truthfully, once the Spaniard finally slowed down enough to even think about finding some romance - the lasting kind, not that friends with benefits type - the extent of her fame quickly quashed those chances. She found the increased attention rather overwhelming and quite frankly scary, and women only wanting her for her celebrity meant that a genuine relationship was not in the cards at the present.

Come to think of it, she wasn’t even sure she really wanted to play the dating game; the horror stories heard from teammates often causing her to recoil in her chair – Bruna’s about a date bringing their mother along and then having an allergic reaction to the shrimp still fresh in her mind. The last time she had even attempted a romance had been with Felicitas Rauch, and that had ended before it had really even began. She’d been basically celibate since then, and apparently, this was borderline unheard of, if the yell of Mapi León was anything to go by.

“What do you mean you haven’t dated in years?” Mapi questioned, the drinking of her coffee abandoned as she turned to gape at Ona.

“I don’t know, just haven’t really gotten around to it,” she shrugged, cheeks turning hot as she noticed the eyes of most of her club team on her. A certain pair of sparkling hazel eyes trained on her made her flush even darker, if possible, and she averted her eyes as quickly as she could. Despite her obvious discomfort, Mapi pressed on. “Not a single date or nothing?”

“Eh, had a fling with Feli for like a month before it kind of- “

“That was over a year ago, amiga. And from what I heard, you didn’t even go on a proper date,” Patri butted in, and Alexia smacked the back of her head as she regarded the Spanish fullback’s embarrassment at that statement.

Seeing the slightly pitying looks from her teammates, Ona went to speak, but before she could scramble together a sentence to alleviate the embarrassment, Lucy chimed in. “What’s keepin’ you from datin’ now?”

Ona paused, mulling over the reasons in her head before settling on an answer. “I guess I’m kind of nervous about dating again. I don’t even know if I can still flirt.”

A poor reason, admittedly, but better than revealing to her team about her anxiety around her sky-rocketing fame post-World Cup. At least she could attribute that excuse to everyone else’s constant anecdotes about bad experiences within the dating realm.

“Everyone is a bit awkward at least once, chiqui. There’s no reason to be nervous,” Alexia said soothingly, shooting a glare at Mapi who snickered a little at the fullback’s answer. After fixing Mapi with her own pointed look, Ona let out a sigh.

“I know, but I can’t help but feel that way, sabes?” That was met with an understanding silence from her team before Lucy slammed her hand on the table and shot up out of her seat.

“I can do it!” she boomed, a smug smirk on her face.

“¿Qué?” came the response from around the table, everyone furrowing their brows at what Lucy just said. Seeing the confused faces of her teammates, she slowly sat down again and cleared her throat before beginning to explain her genius plan.

“Think about it, Ona hasn’t gone on a date in ages, right? And she’s nervous about the awkwardness that will come along with it. If she goes out on a couple of fake dates with me, and I make it as horrific as possible, then she can get those bad date experiences out of the way, and get used to going on dates again! What do you say?”

With that, Lucy mimed an explosion with her fist and glanced around the table to garner people’s reactions. Mapi was nodding in agreement, Alexia’s brow was furrowed in contemplation, and Cata just looked thoroughly confused. Flicking her eyes towards Lucy, Ona saw the Lioness staring at her expectantly.

Truthfully, it was lowkey an awful idea, but Ona supposed that it would help her get the ‘back on the dating scene’ jitters out of the way and would allow her to spend some time with Lucy, who she shamefully had nursed a small crush on for a while now.

“Okay.”

“Okay?!” came someone else’s shout, but Ona was too focused on Lucy’s determined pump of the fist to locate where the protest came from.

“That was easy,” Lucy spoke into the Spaniard’s ear as she gathered her into a crushing hug, and grinned at Ona once she let go. “I will see you on Wednesday for Bad Date #1.”

There was nothing she could do but nod.

---

It was only when Ona was sat on the boat that the regret came rushing in, narrowing her eyes at Lucy who was fiddling with the fishing poles a few metres away. It was not a secret that she had a strong dislike for fishing, the smell of the bait, the unstable feeling of floating on water in a boat the size of a tin can, and the gleam of the fishhooks bringing her back to the disastrous fishing trips with her father and older brother.

Many days were spent in a small fishing boat, with her father’s disappointed sighs being the soundtrack to her disgust at the dead fish that surrounded her, and a lurching stomach created by the movement of the water below. She supposed this is why Lucy chose it for Bad Date #1.

“Chin up, darling. Let’s get ready to catch some big fish!” Lucy thrust a fishing rod at Ona, shocking her out of her memories and with a little bit of grumbling, the younger woman begrudgingly took it, Lucy’s face lighting up in a smile at her behaviour.

Following her lead, Ona attempted to bait her hook with a particularly fat mealworm that still wriggled between her fingers. Maybe it was poor timing, but a small movement from Lucy caused the boat to shift suddenly, and Ona’s hand got caught on the sharp point of the fishhook. She let out a hiss of pain and went to go suck the wound, forgetting that she was clutching a slimy worm in her hand until she was practically eyeball to eyeball with it. Not exactly expecting to be so up close and personal with a mealworm, Ona let out an almighty scream and tossed it away.

To her horror, instead of plopping harmlessly into the water, it found it’s way to Lucy’s lap. The older woman’s scream echoed around as well, and Ona had to stifle a grin as Lucy turned to narrow her eyes suspiciously at the Spaniard.

“Having trouble with your bait?” Lucy questioned and held up the worm Ona had sent flying in her direction, the initial shock having worn off and leaving behind an expression of amusement.

“I hate you Lucia Roberta,” Ona grumbled, swatting away the mealworm that Lucy had now started dangling in her face.

The older woman just laughed and dropped the bait back into the bucket, deciding that teasing Ona in the middle of a bloody lake was not a good idea. “Oh, you don’t really. Plus this hasn’t been too awkward now, has it?”

“I suppose not. I feel too sick to be awkward.” Ona did look a bit pale, and she quickly sucked in a breath and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to force her breakfast to stay down in her stomach where it belonged.

“Just try and focus on the fish, not the boat swaying.” Lucy advised, placing a warm hand on Ona’s shoulder. If she had been anywhere other than a small boat swaying in some water, Ona would have blushed, but she currently found herself rather preoccupied.

“Lucy, I don’t think you understand that the smell of the fish is also making me feel very sick,” she gritted out, clenching the seat she was sitting on with a white-knuckled grip.

“Look, I have some spare plastic bags if you need one, okay? Here, I’ll rebait your hook and we will try again.”

Ona opened her eyes and nodded grimly, accepting the plastic bag Lucy had in her outstretched hand and the newly baited rod. Once both of them had finally settled, casted their lines and were waiting for a bite, they began to chat a bit about Ona’s life with United in Manchester, and Lucy’s experience in Barcelona before Ona had come home and rejoined the team. Slowly the Catalan felt herself beginning to feel less ill, her teammate and friend doing a great job at distracting her from the situation that the Lioness herself had put them in.

After a half hour or so, they were interrupted by a tug on Ona’s line, and the Spaniard looked at Lucy with wide eyes. “What do I do?”

“Reel it in?” Lucy responded, grinning a little at Ona’s alarm.

“Mierda, it’s very strong!” Ona spoke as her muscles flexed, trying incredibly hard to reel the fish in. But the stupid thing absolutely refused to budge, the fish at the end of the line fighting for it’s life to remain in the water. A particularly strong tug made Ona almost fly into the water, and pleaded with her eyes for Lucy to give her a hand.

“Here, let me try.” With that, Lucy abandoned her line, and shuffled closer to Ona, the Spanish woman suddenly finding her senses overwhelmed with everything Lucy.

The press of her warm shoulder against Ona’s, the positively intoxicating perfume that she had on, and the fact that she was close enough that Ona could see the small sun spot close to her right eye had the Catalan so captivated that when the English woman said something to her, Ona jumped in shock and accidentally dropped the rod that she was holding.

The both of them watched as the rod got tugged away by the fish who was no doubt celebrating being free, before it eventually came to a stop a few metres away and floated, still, on top of the water.

“Lo siento,” Ona grimaced, biting her lip in embarrassment. She half expected Lucy to growl at her, but instead the other woman’s face split open in a wide grin, and she let out a laugh.

“That was one of funniest things I think I’ve seen in my entire fishing career.”

Ona glared playfully at the English defender before picking up a paddle. “We should go retrieve it, no?”

Lucy nodded and picked up the other paddle, the two of them slowly steering their boat towards Ona’s rod. Soon they were almost close enough to reach it, but suddenly Ona stopped her movements and frowned at something in the water just ahead of them. Lucy turned to look quizzically at her fellow defender, and nudged Ona in the side when she saw the slightly worried expression her face.

“Lucia… is that.. a shark?” Ona squeaked out, pointing at a grey shape that lurked in the distance.

Lucy squinted, trying to gauge what it was, but Ona had already begun to panic a bit, despite the fact that sharks were most likely not residing in a random lake in Barcelona.

“I don’t think-” Lucy managed to squeeze out but Ona had already snatched the rod out of the water and was now frantically moving her paddle as quickly as possible.

“I don’t care! Row, please Lucy,” the smaller woman begged, sending Lucy such a look of genuine fear that the Lioness just bit back a smile and placed her own paddle into the water to guide them back to shore.

Once they two of them had made it safely back onto land with Ona looking slightly green with fear and motion sickness (“Lucy, I’m not kidding it was a shark!”), the Spanish fullback took a few steps on shaky legs before collapsing into Lucy’s side, who wrapped her arm around the other woman’s waist to prevent her from falling over.

“Not a very successful trip, huh?” the English woman spoke, gesturing to their very empty cooler where the fish they caught was supposed to go.

“No, but at least we were not eaten,” Ona replied before checking her watch and looking back hopefully at Lucy. “I have 3 hours before my brother will be over, so would you want to go out for something to eat?”

“Well, considering the fact that we are currently fishless, and I don’t want to starve, I will accept.” With that, the pair made their way back to Lucy’s car, equipment in hand and chattering the entire way.

“What have you got planned for Bad Date #2? Might be hard to beat this.”

“Just wait and see, Ona. Wait and see…”

---

As soon as Ona stepped foot in the mini golf course and made eye contact with the tacky pirate ship that resided in a murky fake pond, she let out a groan and immediately turned on her heel. Lucy was quick to grab the smaller woman by the shoulders, however, and strong armed her towards the counter, the Lioness wiggling her eyebrows at Ona in amusement.

Saying that Ona hated mini golf was an understatement. She could stomach regular golf from all of the times that her friends had dragged her down to the nearest course, but to shrink the clubs and add on a bunch of screaming children made the experience almost unbearable. Plus, it was hard. No wonder Lucy chose this as a bad date destination.

“Can’t believe you brought me to a mini golf course of all places!” Ona complained, glaring daggers at the brightly colour obstacles scattered about everywhere.

“It’s only mini golf, Ona. The only people who are gonna witness this are like ten,” Lucy laughed while paying at the counter and motioning for the Spanish woman to select a ball colour.

“Well ten year olds can be very mean,” she retorted back, selecting a bright green one and pretending to throw it at her as the English woman pretended to collapse to the floor, wounded. With a yellow ball in hand, Lucy steered her towards the first hole and gestured for the younger woman to go first. “Aye, c’mon. Let’s see if you’re as good at mini golf as you are at football.”

After flipping her the bird and earning a very scandalised gasp from a nearby mother, Ona lined her body up to hit the ball and… missed. Lucy let out a bark of laughter from behind her and Ona turned to shoot her a glare, feeling the heat of embarrassment crawl up her neck as she puffed in annoyance at the English woman’s smirk.

“Forget being a World Cup winner, we’ve got a future mini golf world champion on our hands.”

“Why would they make golf, which is already hard by the way, even smaller?” Ona replied, disgruntled. Lucy, bemused but unsympathetic to her complaints just grinned before yelling “Swing again!”

To Ona’s credit, she did. But unfortunately, her club flew out of her grip and hurtled a few metres away, spinning just clear of a small child who toddled around another hole. Turning back to Lucy, the Catalan saw her bent double in laughter, unable to keep it in after watching Ona fling her club into the air. Seeing Lucy smile caused the corners of Ona’s mouth to turn up slightly, but she quickly tampered down the fondness that had begun to sneak its way into her heart.

“Ha, ha, very funny,” Ona deadpanned while she collected her club, wincing apologetically at the parent of the toddler she almost took out and traipsing back to Lucy who had managed to compose herself.

“How about I give you a hand, aye? So you don’t accidentally maim any more children.”

“I’ll have you know that I didn’t actually hit him,” Ona responded, blowing a rather childish raspberry at Lucy, “but I’ll take you up on your offer.”

She wasn’t too sure what the Lioness had meant by giving her a hand, but as Lucy dropped her own club to the ground and made her way towards Ona, the Spaniard eyed her cautiously. Wrapping her arms around Ona, Lucy let out a huff of laughter as the smaller woman tensed at the unexpected physical contact.

“Here, hold the club like this.” Lucy’s breath tickled the back of Ona’s neck as her warm hands grasped the smaller woman’s and left her slightly breathless, cheeks heating up for what felt like the thousandth time that day. Slowly Ona allowed herself to relax, opening herself up to the other woman’s guidance and moved where Lucy wanted her to stand. She felt herself almost mourn the loss of the fullback’s warmth as she released Ona from her hold, the slight autumn breeze making the lack of her body heat more apparent. Ona could blame her flushed cheeks on the cold, of course, but a feeling stirring in her gut begged to differ.

Shaking herself from those traitorous thoughts, Ona steadied herself to hopefully hit the ball accurately this time, Lucy’s cheers making its way into Ona’s ears.

“Don’t swing as hard as before. Give it a light tap,” came the encouraging advice from the defender, and Ona took a final breath in, not unlike one she’d take before a rare occasion when she would have to convert a penalty kick.

Ona heard the whoosh of the club through the air as she swung before she felt it make hard impact against something solid.

Clearly, she had overestimated the distance Lucy had put between the two of them, and instead of softly hitting the ball like she was advised to, Ona had swung the club back as far as she could, and had ended up smacking Lucy hard in the shin.

“Ow, fuck!” Lucy groaned, clutching her leg. “My legs are literally my money-makers, Ona, and you know my knee is hanging on by a string.”

“¡Dios mío, Luce! Are you alright?” Ona rushed towards her in horror, praying that she hadn’t given the Englishwoman an injury that could cause a premature retirement or one that would leave her benched for months. As the Spaniard bent over to peer at Lucy’s face, Ona could see that it had lit up into a shit-eating grin, the contact not as bad as she had originally thought.

“Ay, don’t scare me like that, idiota!” Ona growled, smacking Lucy on the shoulder as her thundering heart began to slow again.

“For a world-class athlete you sure are clumsy. Almost as bad as Less!” Lucy chuckled as she straightened up, before gesturing for Ona to take a fourth attempt at the ball. “Don’t worry about me, just focus and swing gently.”

“Missing the ball three times, accidentally throwing the club away, and now hurting you will definitely win for worst date ever,” Ona muttered as she went to take the shot, yet again. Her comment was met with a wry smile from Lucy. “That’s what we’re here for, no?”

For the next few hours, the both of them made their way from hole to hole, with Lucy expertly navigating the ball past the obstacles and Ona bumbling her way through them. It was positively infuriating how good Lucy was at everything, but every time she sunk the golf ball into the hole and shot a cocky smirk the Spaniard’s way, Ona’s insides turned to mush. Her own skill only improved marginally, but the more mistakes that were made, the more she and Lucy were able to relax into some comfortable teasing. Somehow, even when faced with the activity of her nightmares, Ona felt as though she was able to get into her stride and even start to enjoy herself a touch.

They were now down to the final hole, and while Lucy had given Ona a very thorough and obvious beating, the Catalan was determined to at least win one round. Whether it be pure, stupid luck, or what Ona will say later was complete and utter skill, the ball rolled into the hole after one single hit. Lucy didn’t care how it happened. All she cared about was that the other woman had actually just gotten a hole in one.

“You fucking did it!” she yelled into Ona’s face, as surprised as every single human being on the course that she had managed to pull that off. Everyone else had, after all, been witness to her poor attempts to golf for the past few hours.

“Sí, I did!” Ona shouted back, but the only thing she could focus on, even in the wake of her own sporting brilliance, was the cheeky sense of pride and fondness that was painted on Lucy’s excited features.

Not dissimilar to how she has done on the pitch, Ona hurled herself at her, Lucy tossing her club to the side in anticipation and catching the Spaniard with an unexpected passion. Tightly gripping her t-shirt, Ona could feel the other fullback’s rippling muscles under her fingertips, and as she gazed into Lucy’s elated face, she had to take a nervous swallow.

Lucy spun Ona’s body around, almost whirling into, but narrowly avoiding a treasure chest that had been bolted into the ground, and the only thing Ona found herself wanting to do was kiss her. So she did.

Even though the Spanish defender had just spent the past few hours humiliating herself in front of Lucy in the worst way possible, the English woman kissed Ona back with a similar joy, warm hands finding their home on the backs of Ona’s thighs. Lucy’s lips were as soft as Ona had always envisioned them to be, and a part of her soul seemed to sigh with contentment at the contact.

For a moment it was like it was only the two of them in the world, the screams of kids, chatter of people, and tweets of birds fading into the background. All Ona could register was the grip Lucy had on her thighs, the way their bodies fit together perfectly - almost like two pieces of a puzzle, and the way Lucy’s tongue teased the seam of her lips, making her head spin deliciously.

Soon they both had to draw back from the kiss, air becoming a necessity, and Ona leant her forehead against Lucy’s with a smile. After a few beats, the Lioness buried her face into her neck, and Ona felt Lucy’s mouth curve into a grin.

“My champion.”

Those two simple words had Ona’s heart beating a million times faster, and Lucy laughed at the feeling, but as she mindlessly walked them backwards, she lost her footing and sent the both of them stumbling gracelessly right into the man-made lake smack bang in the middle of the mini golf course.

The two of them let out a pair of matching god-awful shrieks at the sudden feeling of icy water, but they soon dissolved into peals of laughter at the utter absurdity of what just happened. Blind to the judging stares of the public around them, Lucy sent a small splash Ona’s way, which soon became a fierce splash battle as the Spanish woman - not one to lose a fight - sent tidal wave after tidal wave straight into Lucy’s face.

“Oi, you got that in my bloody mouth!” she groused playfully, and attempted to tackle Ona to the ground, the pair still floundering in the dirty lake. Unluckily, or luckily in the case of everyone else, a disgruntled staff member hauled the both of them rather unceremoniously out of the water and escorted them to Lucy’s car. Turns out Pablo did not care that Ona had won a World Cup before, and slapped the both of them with lifetime bans. If Ona celebrated the fact that she could never be dragged back to play mini golf again, then that was no one’s business but hers.

Despite being sopping wet in the middle of a carpark, Lucy in Ona’s eyes looked positively radiant. Droplets of water shone on her eyelashes, and her shirt clung to her body, showcasing every curve and harsh ridge of her musculature. There was no denying that she was mouth-wateringly attractive, nose ring glinting in the sun and lips turned up in a cocky smirk. Her eyes had also started to carry out their own appraisal of Ona’s shorter figure, and she shifted awkwardly from foot to foot at the way Lucy’s hazel eyes seemed to pierce into her soul. Her intense gaze made Ona feel as if the Lioness could peer into the very depths of her psyche, and quite frankly, that kind of intimacy scared her a little.

“What a, how do you say? What a freaking disaster,” Ona spoke, a timid attempt to break the heightening tension between the two of them.

“Guess I delivered on my promise on a second horrific date,” came the response, but they both knew that was far from the truth. The older woman’s dimpling smile and shining eyes undid all of her efforts to make that a bad date, and in a rare moment of honesty, Ona allowed herself to accept, if only for a moment, that she was falling in love with Lucy Bronze.

Following her small hum of agreement, they both fell silent again, just taking in each other’s presence. Ona tried to dull the burst of emotion that had welled up in her, but Lucy’s hand cupping her jaw and brushing away a stray smear of mud caused the Catalan’s breath to hitch and sent her efforts flying out of the window. Heart pounding unbearably fast, Ona broke away from her grasp and heard Lucy let out a sigh. “Gotta get you home now. It’s bloody cold.”

Ona nodded at her words and they both slipped into Lucy’s car, Ona apologising profusely for drenching and muddying the English woman’s car seat. The ride back was nice, the conversation light-hearted and easy, however it was impossible to deny the suffocating tension hanging in the air between them. As they pulled up to Ona’s house, Lucy turned to face her, and Ona noticed her gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“Guess you’re ready to go out and date new people now, huh?” Lucy spoke, a tinge of sadness lacing her words despite the small smile she shot Ona’s way. The Spanish fullback sent back a half-hearted grin back. “I guess so.”

The car was silent for a second. “I think I should be getting inside. I’ve got a meeting tomorrow.”

The only thing Lucy could do was say a quick “see you later” before Ona clambered out of the car and made her way to her front door. Pausing, Ona turned back to look at the car and caught a glimpse of Lucy staring at her with an unreadable expression on her face. It was only after she had let herself in that Ona finally heard Lucy’s car pull away from her house, and she finally allowed herself to collapse against the door, countless thoughts running through her head.

She was well and truly fucked.

It had been two weeks since her mini golf ‘date’ with Lucy, and Ona was just about to embark on her first proper date in literal years. As she stared at her own reflection in the mirror, Ona couldn’t help but mourn the fact that her feelings towards the English fullback were likely to remain unresolved. Things between her and Lucy had been rather stilted after that day, the only words exchanged being as mundane as asking for the time or to pass the salt. Truthfully Ona felt kind of hurt at Lucy’s indifference, but in all fairness, she hadn’t exactly tried to talk about that kiss either and instead had opted to ignore her, so it wasn’t fair to put the blame on Lucy. Maybe Ona was just doomed to be alone forever.

Shooting a glance at the clock and seeing that it was time to go, Ona swiftly brushed her hands once more over her outfit, checked her makeup, and grabbed her keys before heading out to the restaurant.

The girl Ona was going on a date with, Elena, was a friend of Alexia’s girlfriend, and her captain was adamant that this was a match made in heaven. Smart, funny, and a passionate Real Madrid hater, Alexia had also mentioned that Elena was accustomed to hanging around with footballers, so Ona didn’t have to worry that she was trying to date her for her five minutes of fame which was something that Alexia too has had some experience with.

The initial part of the date was nice, Ona thought, both of them just getting the small talk out of the way and getting to know each other, the two of them bonding over their shared love of a musical artist. The food was adequate as well, and much to Ona’s relief, Elena did not have an allergic reaction to the shrimp, nor did she bring her mother along like Bruna’s horror date. Things only took a turn when Elena hit her with a completely unexpected question.

“Who is she?” Elena spoke, “The girl you’re in love with.” Her query caught Ona incredibly off guard, and the only thing she could get out was an awkward stammered denial, which she knew was thoroughly unconvincing to even the most gullible of people. The expression on the other woman’s face wasn’t angry however, instead a soft look of sympathy painting her face as she placed a hand over the footballer’s.

A beat passed before Ona hung her head and decided to spill her guts to her date. “She’s my teammate at Barcelona and I’m pretty sure I ruined it because I’m so awkward. We kissed and then I ignored her the day afterwards which means that she definitely hates me, and not only have I lost my chance with her but I’ve also lost her as my friend, and now we are going to lose all of our games and then the Champions League because I think that if I have to go on the pitch with her again I will throw up. She even made me have fun mini golfing and everyone on Earth knows that mini golf es el deporte del diablo and that I absolutely despise it with my entire being... except for when I was playing it with her.”

Elena thoughtfully listened to Ona small spiel before offering her a gentle smile.

“I know I don’t know her, or the extent of your situation, but something tells me that she won’t be opposed to your affections. My advice? Go find her. Tell her how you feel. The worst thing she could do is reject you, and from the little that I’ve heard, she definitely won’t do that.”

“You really think so?” Ona said, feeling a little hopeful at her words.

“I do.”

“Okay.”

Ona sat there awkwardly until Elena laughed and motioned for her to get up. “What are you still doing here? Go!”

“Now?”

“Sí, now!”

Taking in a shuddering breathe, Ona strengthened her resolve and stood from her seat, slightly more invigorated. “Okay, I will. And I’m sorry for running out on you like this.”

“Ay, not the worst date I’ve been on. Good luck out there,” she grinned, and Ona felt a sense of overwhelming appreciation for the woman across from her. Maybe in another life they could have become something, but right now, all she wanted was Lucy.

“Gracias. Truly,” Ona responded before slapping several bills down on the table. “Dinner is on me by the way.” And then she was hightailing it out of the restaurant.

Ona found herself pounding on Lucy’s door before she had even registered that she had no idea what she was even going to say to her. A wave of doubt passed through the Spaniard as she wrung her hands on the doorstep, and thoughts of escaping to the comfort of her own home to down a tub of ice cream were getting increasingly more enticing. Those plans were short-lived however, because the door swung open and revealed Lucy who stared at her, her hazel eyes wide in surprise.

“Hola.”

She wanted to smack herself for that stupid opener, but Ona refrained from doing so as she could have sworn that she saw a corner of the defender’s mouth tilt upwards. Maybe all was not lost.

“Hola,” Lucy responded, and was quiet after that, silently telling Ona that the ball was in her court.

“You look well.” Nice one.

Lucy smiled properly at that one and decided to put Ona out of her misery a little. “You’re all dressed up. Hot date tonight?”

Ona didn’t miss the way Lucy’s grin became slightly strained at her words and felt a surge of confidence fill her heart, so she decide to take the plunge.

“Sort of. I- Look, Lucia, I’m sorry for how I treated you after our… kiss. I messed up and ignored you for like a week after, so now you probably hate me, and I can not blame you. I know we said that the dates were not real and for me to get over my nerves, but then I couldn’t help but start to pretend that this was real.” Lucy stayed silent, her expression unreadable, but her eyes were shining with something that made Ona’s stomach flutter, and she took that as a sign to keep going.

“The girl I was just out with, Elena, noticed something was off immediately, and so I told her that I love you. Because I do. And if I’m not wrong, then I think you like me too. If you do have feelings for me, I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner and spared us from all of this pain, because I’ve been stuck in this hole of sadness for the past couple of weeks. So por favor, just tell me that I haven’t missed my chance.”

“I love you too.”

Lucy’s response was quick, her words confident, and to Ona in that moment, she was sure that Lucy was the most beautiful person in the world. The small fly-away hairs that escaped from her bun, the freckles that were dotted across her skin, the stray eyelash that rested on the apple of her cheek, all made a rush of fondness spread throughout Ona’s chest.

With that admission, she tentatively reached out to rest a hand on Lucy’s jaw, and she leaned into Ona’s touch as her arms circled around the smaller woman’s waist.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Lucy breathed. Ona gave her a quick nod.

“I asked you to go on those fake dates hoping that you would give me a proper chance afterwards. I’ve liked you for a long time, you know?” she confessed, leaning in to brush her nose against Ona’s skin.

“You could’ve just said something instead of subjecting me to sharks and mini golf,” came Ona’s reply, but her tone held nothing but fond amusement.

“I still don’t think that was a shark,” Lucy, eyes crinkling in laughter as she thought back to Ona’s panicked paddling at the lake.

“I’m telling you, I saw a fin!” the younger woman protested, but there was no real fight in it, Ona long having accepted that she may have overreacted a touch. That didn’t mean she wanted to give Lucy the satisfaction of being right, though.

“So, how does Elena rank on the scale of bad dates. You must be an expert after both of ours, so gimme a number from one to ten. Spare no gory details,” Lucy smirked, her hands creeping up to place themselves firmly on Ona’s face, lips within a hair’s breadth away from the Spaniard’s.

“I think that was the worst date I’ve ever been on, because it wasn’t with you.” And hearing those words, Lucy kissed her.

#lucy bronze x ona batlle #ona batlle x lucy bronze #lucy bronze #ona batlle #woso fanfics #woso imagines #my fics

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stylinsoncity · 5 months ago

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Hiiii! I know it’s been a while but first! I want to just confirm that I’m definitely alive and well! I’m also back with a new fic, which you might have already seen if you’re subscribed on ao3.

‘Hard times in elmsmere’ is the vampire/witch time travel au I mentioned a while ago and it is now published in its entirety. I hope you enjoy it!

I also want to talk candidly about where I am re: fic writing in general. I’ve been feeling distant for months as I try to focus on my own personal writing and other interests, hence the long hiatus. I hoped that some time away would kind of reboot that part of my brain. But tbh the opposite has happened.

I will absolutely be finishing penn park and an update is coming very soon. by next week, i believe. i also have one more chapter I want to post for notes on oxford and then I’ll likely mark that as completed. i’m not sure what to do with ‘till the end of time’ so I’ll just leave that open for now. but I think by the end of the year, assuming I’ve added one or two more chapters, i’ll likely mark that completed as well. I do still want to publish caya…and once I finish my WIPs, I think I can get back to editing it bit by bit. I’d also love for SEL to be published one day too, but that seems a little out of reach right now.

I really wish I could clone myself and devote my clone to the task of writing all the fics I’ve ever thought about. But sadly it’s just me! D:

the bottom line is I won’t really be online anymore and the rate I’m able to update my fics will be really slow. I closed my inbox bc I didn’t want asks piling up or for anyone to feel ignored. my messages are still open for now though so if you need to contact me, pls do. but it may take me a while to respond.

since I’ll be away indefinitely and unable to provide permission, i would really appreciate it if my fics were no longer printed or reproduced in any way, this includes translations or reposting.

lastly, I just want to say thank you very very much for the support! it means so much more than i can even express right now. i've enjoyed all the conversations i've had here and all the love that's been shared. this is not quite a goodbye. there are still lots of great chapters to come. But for now I just want to say thank you for understanding and ily!

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toxicanonymity · 10 months ago

Note

Hey, this person has directly credited you as their ideas for their character bots

https://poe.com/pedroxo

[ Background: an account made AI bots of my fics and others to various extents. I had an anxiety attack quietly watching Tumblr melt down over this topic. When the dust settled, this post was the first and last I said about it to address continued inquiries. ]

unauthorized AI Bots of fics

Thank you everyone who kindly let me know about the >25 unauthorized bots using content from my fics.

Listen, I strongly relate to the desire to talk to these characters - I've said it before. I appreciate how invested someone must be to go to all this effort, and I appreciate the credit. But it's not right and I'm not comfortable with it. You may not realize what it feels like to the writer. It feels like a violation.

Unfortunately, this wasn't the first incident for me. Someone once made a bot of my fic 4 days after I publicly said not to in response to an ask. I didn't find out until it had almost 1k "chats" and you'll see I use that term very loosely under the cut.

I've said don't do this, and it's in my masterlist. I've even shared my anxiety about being so slow to update that people take matters into their own hands. I'm not really sure what else to say. I'm tired.

Please don't do this. And when you see chatbots built on fics, please alert the writers.

IMPORTANT The bots are down. I don't want the person to be harassed - i think that's obvious based on my tone from the start.

Beyond these, there were more bots from night walks, slasher, and stepdad, ones from Raider and Speakeasy and even a few from hypotheticals I published like when stepdad goes to jail for indecent exposure or when you aren't getting wet for raider joel.

Night Walks: Original, Soaked

Left in Lincoln pt. 1; jalbird

Slasher: Midnight Tow, Stop Playing

Stepdad: Clock, Ring Doorbell

Sorry I was too overwhelmed to do the IMG text on each of these but it's basically just snippets from the works listed.

After being contacted, the person copied and pasted a message to multiple writers saying they were sorry, didn't know what they were doing, were deactivating their acct. They asked to spread their message, and said have an amazing day/night.

------

Past Incident

IMGs: 1) I answered an ask August 16 saying no. The asker had "offered" to credit me. 2) August 20, someone made a bot without credit. This is worse imo and suggests trying to hide their actions.

I told a lot of people about this, but it was an isolated bot unlike the profile discovered 2/23.

IMG: comparison of left in lincoln text to the bot.IMG: A seven paragraph narrative bot output. Obviously failed my test if you've read the fic.

-----

ANYWAY

If you're not already on ao3, I recommend signing up. This isn't a threat to leave, but I may not put everything on Tumblr forever. My AO3 profile.

Edit: I like tumblr because I like answering lore and questions and getting thots, plus my blog is very multimedia with many awesome contributions from different people. Please help keep it that way, because your interaction is why I'm here. I value everyone's engagement here.

For many reasons, I'm less and less comfortable with Tumblr being the primary home for all my writing. I'm aware people can still take things from AO3, but not as easily. I'm trying to be nice by preemptively suggesting people sign up on AO3 if they want to read everything. If it's not worth the trouble to you, just don't do it.

----

Ty very much to those who have been supportive and checked on me. It means a lot. I will admit this made me put on a hat and cry in public lol.

feel free to rb this because idk if everyone realizes the extent of this or how jarring it can look.

#cw discourse #anti ai #taps mic

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diana-fortyseven · 1 year ago

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I think it's time to share a secret with you: you don't have to see things you don't want to see on the internet.

Shocking, I know.

Most sites give you fairly decent tools to avoid concepts, topics, or people you don't like, and you should totally use them.

The smutty fanfic that makes you uncomfortable because it contradicts your headcanon for your favourite character? It's rated "explicit". If you click on it anyway and get angry? That's on you.

The AO3 author who keeps publishing smutty fanfics that make you uncomfortable because you don't even want to see the summaries of fics that have this one character fucking? Adjust your filters to only show you works that are rated "for general audiences" or "teen and up".

The AO3 author makes you angry now because they published so many fics you don't want to see? Mute the author. You'll never have to see any of their works ever again.

You also don't want them to interact with your fics? Block them too.

The Tumblr user who wants to see their favourite characters fuck? You can block them. It's fine. You don't need to see their posts.

Many Tumblr users want to see their favourite characters fuck? You can just filter the tags they use for talking about wanting to see their favourite characters fuck. You don't need to go into these fandoms' tags to complain about people enjoying themselves in a way you don't enjoy. The way they do fandom isn't about you. If you don't like what you see, don't go there.

I know that the tools these sites give you aren't perfect.

Tumblr for example still shows you that posts with tags you filtered exist, and you still have to scroll past them. Sometimes you don't want to block a user, you just don't want to see this one specific post or fic all the time. If you filter out a lot of things on AO3, it can be annoying to enter these filters every single time you want to browse your fandoms.

Good thing that using the internet on desktop opens a whole new world of browser extensions and user scripts for you!

Make Tumblr posts with certain tags or even words in the body of the post disappear completely? Possible with this script here. Make just this one post you hate so much disappear? Possible with this script here. Make just this one fic you hate so much disappear? Possible with this script here. Save AO3 filters? Possible with this script here.

I have this extensive collection of my favourite browser extensions and user scripts for fanfic sites on my Dreamwidth.

They're sorted by site, which makes it easier to find what you're looking for. All of them are free. Most of them can just be installed as is. If you need help with one of them you need to edit a little, let me know. I'll happily walk you through or give you the snippet of code you need to make it do what you want it to do.

Curate your own online experience. Other people on the internet aren't responsible for your decision to keep walking into spaces you don't want to be in. You can't demand that others censor themselves because you don't understand the concept of Just Not Reading Something.

(And honestly, even if you already knew that other people on the internet aren't your babysitters, you should check out my list of scripts! They're fucking amazing! :D)

#Fandom

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harpersdragons · 5 months ago

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Masterlist (of sorts)

For ease of me remembering, I'm posting a list of my WIPS/fics/future ideas

I'll include links to published works, all on Ao3

Pretty much all my fics are Jason-centric

Also as a disclaimer, I have not read the comics. Everything I know comes from other fics, and my comic obsessed friend who will go on rants about it.

you guys can pry good parent bruce wayne out of my cold, dead, hands, alright?

my other most common trope is jason and Damian met in the league and are really close. It makes my beta reader happy, and anything to keep her from taking me off her WIPS xD

Also I will take requests!

POSTED:

The Haunting of Wayne Manor...By Jason Todd: Canon Divergence, Jason doesn't go with his original plot for Gotham, but sneaks into the Manor and lives there in secret. Based on this post

(Don't) Leave Me Alone: Jason is hit with Fear toxin

In Which Jason Is a Little Bit of an Idiot: Jason gets hit with cuddle pollen way too many times and, like an idiot, refuses to ask for help. it causes issues for everyone involved

The Cat Distribution Center (But Magic?): Jason finds a cat. That's the whole fic.

The Power of Brotherly Love (And Therapy): A fix-it of my friend's fic, who wrote her whole fic just to torture me. This one is a lot heavier and deals with suicide and self-harming.

No, Tim, You're Not Being Kidnapped! (Except Maybe You Are...): No Capes AU where Jason drags Tim into the family because he is just meant to be a middle child. (Based on this post)

^Also I think this will be a series I update when ideas strike, the first story will be inducting Tim into the family, and we'll go from there.

”Emergency”? FUCK! Jason dealing with chronic pain and his family convincing him to accept help

Doomed by the Narrative: pretty much just 2800 words of Jason spiraling, several references to Greek tragedies, and a little panic attack and dissociation thrown in for fun. there's a happy ending (or at least hopeful ending) I promise

No Grave Could Hold My Body Down: Jason gets buried alive again, hurt/comfort, bruce is a good parent

Whumptober 2024 Day 1: tim and jason are caught in a cave in, jason nearly loses control of his pit rage.

That Time Jason Almost Died (Again...): Whumptober days 10 and 22, (bleeding through bandages, slurred words). A mission goes wrong for Bruce and Jason, pretty much what the title says

The Tragic Demise of Damian Al Ghul-Wayne: Exactly what it sounds like and I feel bad about it, I apologize in advance.

Theft in the Family...By Jason Todd: Jason is tasked by Talia to take Damian to Bruce. This changes a few things. (primarily fluff, because I've done a lot of angst lately)

If my Engine Works Perfectly on Empty...(Spoiler: it doesn't): Dick has a rough time, Bruce is able to help (for once)

ONGOING:

A one shot in the no capes universe: Tim’s first time getting a bad grade while living with Bruce

Sometimes you gotta burn the bridge to rebuild it

IDEAS:

Possible Mafia AU

Shifter AUs

Someone will be getting transfigured into an animal

Time Travel where everyone has time traveled but is convinced they're the only ones who have time traveled (Based on this post)

Justice league meets batfam for the first time

Fic based on Nobody’s soldier by hozier (edits are haunting me and I must)

#fics #fic ideas #my fics #masterlist #batfamily #jason todd #batman #dc batfam #canon divergent #fuck canon #dc doesn't even like its own canon

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olderthannetfic · 8 months ago

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Genuine question in good faith, WHY do people do placeholder fics on ao3? Like, I assume that it's residue from being used to websites that have an algorithm, but I still don't get it bc:

Are placeholder fics REALLY that popular on algorithm-based websites anyway? If I see a fic that looks good and then I click it and I find it's just a placeholder that hasn't been posted yet, I won't want to return to it. Has Society(TM) really become that okay with placeholder fics in such a short amount of time? Again, genuine question. I'm not judging those who are okay with placeholders, so long as they keep them off the archives. Different strokes for different...websites?

2. Let's say it's not for algorithm reasons. Let's say it's, i dunno, someone who wants to advertise what's coming up in their next project and uses the placeholder as a preview until it's posted. I still don't understand why they'd do a placeholder fic. To my knowledge, ao3 allows "synopsis" fics where you post a preview of what's to come. Why not do that? And if I'm wrong and they're not allowed, put on your big human pants and write out a drabble of the first chapter/prologue of your "placeholder" fic just so you have SOMETHING to actually post. Just write a preview and edit it or add the real thing later!

Those are the only reasons I can think of why someone might have a placeholder fic. The only other reason I can think of is they want to publish something on a certain day/rearrange the order of a series or something and are unaware you can change the date on ao3 and reorder series fics.

Like, I'm not asking as a way to complain or make fun of the people who do this, I'm truly curious about what their logic is.

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ladykettlechips · 3 months ago

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Update Time~

Good evening from the land of kettle chips, crumpets and scones! This update comes to you guys as a way of apologising for my absence in writing lately. Life is a little more hectic right now and, while I have a right to choose to keep you guys out of the loop and update my fics as and when I please, I have stated before that I like transparency. Though I don't reveal everything, I do want you guys to be somewhat aware of why I'm not updating and where I'm at currently in life. First and foremost, I have healed considerably from the work trauma I experienced. Though I am not fully healed from it, I am doing a lot better mentally these days. It has helped me a lot to stay away from work for a little bit and while I definitely worried about money every now and again, I can confidently say that leaving that place was the best thing for me. Secondly, I have a new job. I have been training for said job recently while also working part-time at another job. Do I think this will be a permanent fixture in my life? Not at all, but for the moment it is ideal in regard to earning money to keep me going in life (and fuelling my addiction to perfume, sweets and travel).

Thirdly: Travel. I have some trips coming up, all planned prior to me leaving the Trauma Job. In the past few weeks I have been focusing on sorting those out, hence why you aren't seeing anything from me writing wise lately. It's been a big focus of mine, especially as one of the two trips I'm taking is very soon.

Fourth: I finished editing a book for someone! I won't be displaying the title or author here because of privacy reasons, but this is something I could have only ever dreamed of, but helping others see their stories grow under my editing is something I have desired to do since leaving University. I truly love editing so much. Thankfully, the person I edited for wants me to help with their future books, as well as help to re-edit their previous books (the beauty of self-publishing!). It was hard work, and life kept me from editing for a while, but I'm so happy to see that the author was happy with me as an editor and that they want to work with me again. Hopefully this spurs me on to look into freelancing down the line.

So yes, this is mostly why I've been quiet in writing. I'm doing bits and pieces here and there, but nothing that will finish a chapter or oneshot. I am sorry for not updating anything on AO3 to a point where some of you might think I've left the fandom, but I haven't. I'm just focusing on things that are happening in my own world right now and prioritising myself for a bit.

Finally, before I sign this off, I sincerely hope that you are all happy and well and taking care of yourselves. Though I am less present, I am aware that there's been some frustrations going on within the fandom right now, but please remember to be courteous of one another and to remember that this is simply a fandom, not real life. Please don't get too upset by rumours, and please don't allow it to affect how you function in real life. It's all well and good to love something so much, but when fandom leaks into real life and affects those who aren't within the fandom or the actors portraying our favourite characters, it becomes unhealthy.

Thank you for reading, precious bean hive. I love you all. LKC

#Update #an update in life #gotta update you guys haha

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emo-eyemakeup-evildude · 26 days ago

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The end of Astorvember 2024!

We have officially made it to the last two days of Astorvember, or as they were called last year AU Days:

29. Defier of Prophecy (Alternate Universes) 30. The Future of Hyrule (Post-Calamity)

As always feel free to engage with the themes literally or figuratively; make a piece of art that depicts the prompt or make a post promoting your own AUs, however you want to engage with the prompts.

Sincere and heartfelt thank you to everyone who participated, whether you made posts, interacted, or lurked. I'm consistently amazed with the longevity, depth, and creativity of this fandom for a little cardboard ratman who was onscreen for five seconds and then died. I have so many plans for the next year, as well as ideas for next year's Astorvember.

Moving on to more zine things, I'm officially extending the submission deadline through February 1st. I want to give everyone plenty of time to complete their new submissions and collect older works to be submitted (I may or may not also be scheming, more info to come). Unfortunately for Astor, November is extremely busy for most folks. I want the zine to have a truly astronomical amount of submissions, so keep them coming!

FAQ under the cut, and thanks again to everyone for making the official second Astorvember so much fun.

Q: What is the maximum number of images per submission? A: No limits for now. The full, digital zine will have much looser limitations (I'm fully prepared to be proven wrong on this, but for now no limits) but for the curated, printed version I ask that you submit a shortened version in the same vein as NSFW works having a censored companion piece for the SFW editions (optional, you can also opt to have your piece removed from certain versions, but no piece will be removed from the full version). As always, no changes will be made without author/artist permission, but keep an eye out for follow up emails. Repetitive or superfluous images may be removed in the event that y'all actually find a number of images I'm unable to handle.

Q: Can I submit digital submissions such as videos and gifs? A: Yes, tentatively. The full, free version of the zine will be published as a PDF, and I may be able to embed gifs, videos, or hyperlinks. Digital extras outside of the main zine were always welcome as a category of submission, so go ahead and submit them. If you want these submissions to be included in the physical zine, please include a thumbnail and summary.

Q: Can I submit a craft to the zine? A: Yes, and there are two ways to do so. You can submit pictures of the craft, and feel free to include a short essay on why you made it, how, when, anything else you'd like to include (under 2500 words). Or you can submit a tutorial for how to make your craft.

Q: Is 2500 words a hard limit? A: No, if your work is a little over go ahead and submit it as is and I'll let you know if it needs to be shortened. The word limit was primarily intended to discourage submissions of full novel-length fics. If you want to submit a fic that's longer than 2500 words, choose your favorite chapter and include where readers can find the rest of it such as links to Tumblr, AO3, or other sites.

Q: I don't have anything serious to submit, can I submit memes/jokes? A: Absolutely! Memes and jokes are more than welcome. As a matter of fact, I would like to write an essay on the top Astor fandom shitpost extravaganzas of the past four years. If you have a favorite Astor meme such as the egg thing (2020) or the egg thing (2024) or Astor Thursday or the White Boy Bracket or any other absurdity, submit it. Include a summary of the event from your POV, where you were when it happened, screenshots, or just what event you would like me to write about.

Q: What can I submit? A: TL;DR writing under 2500 words (ficlets, fic excepts, essays, poems, etc), visual art roughly the size of a half a sheet of printer paper or smaller (drawings, photographs, etc), miscellaneous works such as sheet music, craft tutorials, physical merch, and others subject to approval. Full info above (or here). Submissions are now being accepted until 11:59 pm CDT on February 1st.

Q: How do I submit? A: Email [email protected] and include: -The work's title -The name you would like to be credited as (screen name, url, or nickname preferred over legal name) -Is the work potentially NSFW and if so what content warnings apply Again, more info above (or here).

Q: How many submissions are you looking for? A: As many as y'all got! No limit, go wild.

Q: Can I submit more than one piece? A: Submit as many pieces as you want. Seriously, no limit.

Q: Who can submit works? A: Anyone! Submissions are very specifically and intentionally open to anyone and everyone instead of taking applications and selecting artists to create a piece specifically for the zine.

Q: Can I submit works I've already posted? A: Yes, this zine is intended to be a collection and celebration of the last four years of the fandom. All works are welcome, no matter how old they are or how many people have seen them. This also very much includes pieces from this or last year's Astorvember.

Q: Can I post the piece I submitted? A: Yes, if you want. You can post it, say it was submitted to the zine, post it and don't say it was submitted, or keep the whole thing secret. You can change your mind and post it after submissions close, before the zine is released, whatever you want.

Q: Are original characters/self ships welcome? A: Yes, so many fan works about Astor are full of original characters and the zine would not be complete without them. All original characters are welcome, very specifically including self insert and self ship characters. They are so welcome that we're making a yearbook page dedicated to original characters.

Q: How do I submit an original character to the zine yearbook page? A: Submit a simple school picture style portrait (feel free to make it silly) of your oc with: -Their name -Their relation to Astor (mentor, family, friend, significant other, weird dogs, etc) -The name you would like to be credited as and/or what fic or au they're from if applicable -A senior quote/superlative (if you want) And again, just to be clear, self insert and self ship characters are very much included in this!

Q: Mr. President there's been a second yearbook page. A: So many people have joked about Astor being a mass original character due to his lack of background and character development that if enough people submit the above for their fanon version of Astor we'll do an Oops! All Astors version of the yearbook page.

Q: Will there be physical merch? A: Possibly, still working out logistics. Proposals for physical merch are one of the categories of submissions, email [email protected] with ideas for things like pins, stickers, keychains, etc. Handmade items are welcome and encouraged if you have the time!

Q: Is NSFW content allowed? A: Yes, both art and writing. All submissions that include violence, gore, nudity, sex, etc will be marked as such. In the event that a physical zine is made there will be curated versions including a safe for work version. When you submit your works please include any potential content warnings. We'll be in contact if any works might need additional warnings. That said, no works will be censored. As mentioned above they will be clearly marked in the full version and omitted from the safe for work version. If you would like to submit a censored version of your work for the safe for work version, you may.

Q: I still have a question. A: Send me an ask, a message, email the submissions email, send a flock of birds to follow me around, reach me in my dreams, whatever. If you need something clarified or reiterated, go ahead and ask. If you're unsure about your submission, go ahead and ask. If there's a secret third thing, go ahead and ask.

#astorvember #astor age of calamity #astor prophet of doom #astor aoc #hyrule warriors age of calamity #age of calamity #I feel hylia in this astorvember tonight

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kasienda · 1 year ago

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Fanfiction Year in Review 2023

I fill this out every year. It’s become a bit of a tradition for me. Allows me to reflect on everything that I’ve written and kinda think about where I want to go next. And I like it better from the ask games because I don’t have to wait for asks to come in and can compare my answers from one year to the next. ^_^

1 List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished:

Displaced (Ladrien oneshot)

No Regrets (Ladynoir oneshot - smut)

You Don’t Have To Pretend With Me (Platonic Adrino oneshot)

Representation Reveal (S5 Adrinette oneshot)

Kisses in the Rain (S5 AU Love Square - technically multichapter, but it’s shorter than many of my one-shots)

Would Trust You With Everything (Adrino multichapter)

Just An Ordinary Girl (Marichat oneshot)

Love Remains (Ladynoir multichapter)

Spin the Bottle (OT4 with cour four - technically oneshot, but it’s longer than Kisses and has more kisses in it. Haha!)

2 Number of words written:

Written: 166,114 words

Published: 151,018 words (more than twice 2022’s number!! Go me!!)

Those numbers are incredibly close together because I haven’t been redrafting as much. Those numbers include six one shots, three completed multi chapters. And another four multi chapter WIPs saw at least one update.

And in another fun milestone! I broke a million words published on Ao3 just this last week!! (I've been writing fic since 2003 and everything I've ever written is on Ao3!)

3 Your most popular fic:

Not Part of the Plan - I suspect that this is mostly because being a teen pregnancy fic, it’s my most tropiest story this year. Haha!

4 Your personal fav:

Aftermath - This story has usurped Right Behind You as my favorite. I’ve been able to connect to the raw hurt and grief in this story, and there’s something very raw and human about it that others seem to be able to connect to as well. I think it’s some of my best work, and that is also thanks to an amazing beta in @ladyofthenoodle who has lent her expertise in more than one way in making this one more true to lived experience.

5 Your fav scene:

It’s so hard to pick a favorite!! I narrowed it down to my three favorites in no particular order.

The last scene in Ch 5 Love Remains - Chat Noir give amnesiac Ladybug a geography lesson from space. It’s got Whole New World vibes, and I just loved the imagery of it.

Ch 4 of Aftermath - I’m particularly proud of Marinette’s panic attack when Adrien tells her she doesn’t have to keep coming over. Like it feels like it comes out of nowhere, but it just totally makes sense. And how it manifests and how she soothes herself (it’s not healthy, but it’s so GOOD!)

Ch 7 of Would Trust You With Everything - The scene where Chat Noir tries to tell Nino who he is, but inevitably doesn’t. And how Nino reassures him through all that. This scene feels so raw, but so heartwarming in light of Adrien’s fears. And I don’t know - it’s beautiful to me.

6 A fic or scene that challenged you:

I really struggled with Right Behind You this year, though it wasn’t for lack of trying! I had started out the year hoping to go back to an update a month here and I only updated it three times throughout 2023.

This was incredibly frustrating because the initial drafts of scenes would come pretty easily, but I couldn’t seem to make them pop the way the earlier chapters did. The good news is I think I figured out what the issue was. Most of my writing this year has been speed writing. And a big part of that is just where I’ve been emotionally. I’m very very out of practice in editing and redrafting, which this story and Aftermath both definitely need.

I’ve only been able to edit Aftermath because I’ve had a ton of help. (Thanks Noodles!) Sadly, it’s harder to find betas for rarepairs, but I have succeeded! (Thanks@coffeebanana!)

7 A line of writing you’re proud of:

“She wanted to be there to see it. To see him.”

This line is way better in context, but I’ve made myself cry about three times with it. And I refuse to explain it because that would give its power away. Guess you’ll just have to go read Aftermath.

8 A comment that touched you:

I can never answer this question without mentioning several!!

Would Trust You With Everything - this story had a ton of enthusiastic followers - way more than rarepair work usually gets, and I wrote this story right after my life fell apart and all the commenters here made throwing this story together just that much more joyful during a time when I REALLY needed it. (I'm looking at you, @bittersweetresilience, @bbutterflies @flightfoot @coffeebanana and so many others that I don't know your tumblr name!!!) Not Part of the Plan Comments - I added sex ed lessons to the end of each chapter here because there’s so much about fertility and pregnancy that people don’t know if typical pregnancy fics are anything to go by, and this seemed to inspire so many people to share their pregnancy stories!!! And these have been so cool because I’ve learned that these stories just don’t often have an opportunity to be shared. And it’s neat that this story with its accompanying lessons could create a space for that!! Aftermath comments - lots of people who have really struggled with moderate to severe depression have apparently felt very seen by this fic. And that a story that is essentially about two characters who feel very alone and like no one can understand can help people feel LESS alone and MORE understood is simply amazing!! I love this story so much!! AHH!! Here's one from @neurovascular-entrapta that meant a lot to me.

9 Something that inspired your writing:

Grief and the need to feel things in a distant abstract-these-are-story-book-characters kind of way so I don’t have to feel my actual feelings as closely every moment of the day really kept me writing the whole year long.

10 Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

My writing has been really raw and messy this year, and I can’t keep tenses straight to save my life. But there’s something powerful about the rawness that I really like even as all the grammatical errors and the lack of effort on the technical side of most of my stories has driven me nuts.

I am proud of myself for being able to get back into the big projects in these last few months after not being able to face them from April to October. And I’ve started participating in a few writing events here and there again in addition to working on my own pet projects.

11 Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

Well, I wanted to finish Not Part of the Plan in 2023, which didn’t happen only barely! So hoping the last chapter and the epilogue make it out within the next month. Once that’s done I think I want to try and make Aftermath and Right Behind You my primary focus projects this year. And of course, I’m sure new plot bunnies and writing events will take over my brain on occasion. Last year, I said I wanted my writing to become a reliable mental health tool for me again, and I’m glad to say that it definitely was that for 2023. I hope I’m able to use my writing this year to continue my healing journey.

And maybe go and proofread all of the fics I finished in 2023 to fix all the inconsistent tense issues to prepare them for being bound eventually!

12 Anyone you would like to thank?

SO MANY PEOPLE!

@jennagrinsoverml for being one of my oldest fandom friends! For becoming a real life friend for all that we haven't actually met in person. For all the times you vented to me and listened and sent me pictures of your family and gushed over pictures of mine. I'm lucky to know you!

@ladyofthenoodle - for showing up in my DMs, For being a most insightful beta, for dragging me into a larger community over and over again, for listening to both my real struggles and my first world problems, for being my friend!!

@thelibraryloser - I don't know how to put this into words. But I very much look up to you. For your resilience through difficult times - you are role-model for how to handle this world with grace and kindness. Thank you for your stories!

@coffeebanana - for being so enthusiastic in the creation process before and after! When I have a story that is getting no attention one comment from you makes it so it doesn't matter. You give me all I need.

@bittersweetresilience and @wackus-bonkus-maximus for just being so kind and enthusiastic and supportive of any idea I happen to be talking about in any given moment. I guess for enabling me. Haha!

@blur0se and @mila-beedoodling for sharing your ideas and inspiring me to create new things!!

@asukiess, @chocoluckchipz, @sariahsue, @miabrown007 for creating so many beautiful things and for being kind and engaging in so many conversations!

And now, I'm really nervous that I'm forgetting someone because this is the first time where I feel like I've had more than three fandom friends. Haha! It's a good problem to have I suppose. In general, thank you to the miraculous community for helping me to survive this year. <3 <3 <3

Happy New Year Everyone!!

I invite anyone who wants to, to fill this out! (Or something similar because I think it can be modified for artwork pretty easily). But if you do, please tag me, so I can be a cheerleader for all you've accomplished this year!

#year in review #life of a writer #all the fanfiction I wrote this year #2023 #my reflections

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hermiola · 1 month ago

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Writer's Meme, 2024 Edition

I've been tagged by @turquoisedata 💜

-------------------------

How many works do you have on ao3?

14. 6 Good Omens + 8 MCU, but we have to go back to 2014 and 2016 for those. I also used to publish on an Italian fanfiction archive where I have 70 more fics (I went back to check and count them after approximately two thousand years and HOLY SHIT, I didn't remember them being so many! My first fic is more than 20 years old WTF).

What’s your total word count?

150.000 words on AO3. But I'm guessing it's waaay higher than that (the Italian archive doesn't show the word count 🥲).

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

My GO fics have the most kudos (given the popularity of the fandom + the fact that they're written in English and not in Italian). I have 6, so the top 5 is basically all of them:

Take a Little Love From Me (Pretty Woman AU)

Final Breakthrough (Now!) (Post-Season 2 Fix-It)

Crazy Little Thing (Called Love) (Non-S2-complying silliness)

When Hell Freezes Over (Human AU with magician!Crowley and critic!Aziraphale)

Let There Be Rock (First meeting after 1967)

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I do! I don't get that many, so it's not overwhelming, and I just like to respond. As I said somewhere else, my experience in the GO fandom has been mostly a solitary one (recently not so much though!) so I just like to interact whenever I can.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to consider only the GO ones because I feel like the others have been written by another me entirely (also I'm not sure I even remember them).

So it's definitely Let There Be Rock.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I'd say all of them, but Take a Little Love From has a proper epilogue and everything. I guess their happiness has more space there than elsewhere.

Do you write crossovers?

I have in the past, but not anymore.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I know of.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not really. I LOOOOVE reading smut (especially in those chonky slow burn fics), but I can't bring myself to write explicit smut for some reason. I love describing the tension and the heat of the moment (I love UST so much I'm going to marry it tbh - like nothing makes me happier/hornier than two people who want to fuck each other but can't for some reason - am I edging myself? IDK) but when it comes to my own writing I feel like spelling out the details just ruins the moment. I do think it's my ace showing in some way. But, anyway, I read the filthiest filth so this definitely doesn't apply to reading. And who knows, maybe one day I'll try! I'm not ruling anything out.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I used to translate HP fics back in the day (from English to Italian). We're talking 20 years ago. And it's funny when you think about it, because I translate novels for work now 🤣

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, always back in the day with HP. I'm still friends IRL with the girl I wrote them with (we actually met because of HP) (this is as good a time as any to say FUCK YOU JKR).

What's your all-time favourite ship?

This depends on the hyper-fixation of the moment. I cannot multitask with my OTPs. If I get obsessed with a new one, I retire the previous one. Like I could split my life into different time periods just based on my OTPs. Ron/Hermione has been my personality for YEARSSSS, but now I can barely think about HP without cringing. Another BIG ONE was Clint/Natasha from the MCU (which explains my look here on Tumblr), but the MCU as a whole has gone a bit stale for me (with few exceptions). And now it's all about Crowley/Aziraphale - it's so bad I had to unretire from fanfiction writing after almost 10 years LOL.

(I like many other ships but not to the point of *obsession*).

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

The only one I can think of is a Clintasha Actors AU, but I don't think I have it anymore, and I wouldn't finish it even if I had.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogues and banter are my favourite things to write, and I think it shows.

What are your writing weaknesses?

English is not my first language, so my writing lacks variety I think. I feel like I have always the same phrases stuck in my head, so it's probably kind of repetitive, especially when compared to some of the fics I read. (But when I started writing my first GO fic in English I wasn't even sure I could *actually* do it, so I'm proud of myself either way!).

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it's okay! I personally would ask a native speaker to help me (if possible) instead of going the Google Translate route. Being Italian and watching/reading almost exclusively in English I know how silly it sounds when the characters start speaking your language and they're saying nonsense (but no harm done even in this case, imo, especially in fanfics. In movies, though, it's just lazy!).

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

HP, back in 2004 (welp).

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

None, thankfully. If I'm writing fanfic it means I'm in the late stage of hyperfixation and I don't wish that on myself if I can help it. Like I used to read 50+ books a year before GO S2. It's bad!!!

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Take a Little Love From Me mainly because it's the one I've spent more time with.

Tagging some people if they feel like doing it (but no pressure at all!): @beerok23 - @sabotage-on-mercury - @gaiaseyes451 - @leviosally

#writing

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zukaangweek · 6 months ago

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Zukaang Week starts in one week!

If you plan to post a fic to AO3 next week, be sure to add it to the Zukaang Week 2024 AO3 Collection!

What is an AO3 Collection?

An AO3 collection is exactly what it sounds like! It's a way to collect the AO3 fics published for Zukaang Week in one place. It's a great way to keep track of the fics being produced for the ship week.

How do I add my fic to the AO3 Collection?

There are three ways to add your fic to the collection:

From the Collection page itself: Click on the link to the collection (here) and click "Post to Collection."

When you're publishing your fic: On the "Post New Work" page, there's a section titled "Associations." The first option in that section is "Post to Collections/Challenges." Simply type in "Zukaang Week 2024" and this collection is the first one to pop up!

After you've published your fic: If you published your fic before adding it to the collection, do not despair! You can still add your fic to the collection—just click on the "Edit" option for your fic and follow the instructions for method #2 above.

I'm still confused!

That's okay, the process of adding a fic to a collection can be a little confusing! Feel free to DM us if you have any questions, or if you want us to add your fic to the collection for you.

See the pinned post for prompts, rules, & FAQ

#zukaang week #zukaang week 2024 #zukaang #aang #zuko #avatar the last airbender #atla #zukaang week promo #info post

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unanswered-stars · 3 months ago

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Thank you so much for tagging me @jules-writes-stories @highlordofkrypton @achaotichuman

1. How many works do you have on AO3? I'm a but a wee babe in the ao3 world so just 7 but I have several WIP's that are on pause currently. I had originally had a fic planned for each day of Eris week but haven't been able to write in awhile so might be some time before those are published but once I start posting again you can expect Eris chaos to reign.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 36,487 I struggle to write long chapters and most of my works end up being around 2,500.

3. What fandoms do you write for? A Court of Thorns and Roses

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Shadows of Regret and Redemption| Azris - My first published work. A oneshot that grew legs and started to run. I am not completely happy with it thus far but I have the end plotted and I'm excited to eventually bring that to life.

Daughter of Autumn | Azris - Now this one absolutely shocked me with its popularity. Started as a fun little drabble for Gwyn Week 2024 and of course turned into Azris central.

The Beginning and End of Friendship | Azris - So many people screaming in the comments at me on this one. More screaming to come when I post part two I’m sure.

Two Souls Entangled| Azris - A tiny part of my soul via a short poem for Azris Week 2024.

Heaven Help the Fool Who Falls In Love: The End | Azris - This is the first piece I wrote for fanfiction and it is my precious baby. Only one chapter posted but I have several in need of editing before I publish the remainder. It's very heavy and I haven't had the mental space to read through it again.

5. Do you respond to comments? Every single one! They bring me so much joy. I have currently stayed away from my comment section for my own mental health but when I start posting again I will get back to everyone's comments, promise.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? All of my works are fairly heavy on the angst. TBaEoF comes to mind but I think for published works I’ll go with The Ending of Darkness which is a short little piece about @jules-writes-stories OC Mithras x Sylvan which I have a part 2 almost completed which is equally as angsty (sorry). Unpublished works definitely The Burning of Leaves and The Death of Shadows which are two fics I had planned for Eris week but are currently on pause (poor Eris I was really putting him through the wringer for Eris Week).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Daughter of Autumn. Mostly because Cassian has the closing line and he just always says the darndest things.

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I have not, nor do I plan on it. Please don’t hate me 😅 Just not my writing jam. I love finding unique ways to explore a relationship and conveying those same emotions and feelings without the smut. That being said some of my favourite stories and authors use smut as such a wonderful exploratory storytelling device and it is delightful. I love reading others contributions to the smutsphere. So so many talented writers out there giving us all our smuttiest dreams. I truly do not think that my smut contribution is even necessary when you have things like To Become a Vanssera by @acourtofladydeath and Why Not Me by @thomasisaslut both absolutely rife with smut and use it beautifully to convey their story (albiet in very different ways).

9. Do you write crossovers? Not yet, and probably not ever because I can hardly keep up with writing ideas I have for one fandom.

10. Have you ever had a fic translated? No.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but it sounds delightful.

12. What is your all-time favorite ship? Azris most definitely for writing. I definitely have a big soft spot for Samwise and Rosie from LOTR (my husband is Samwise reincarnated and I am irrevocably in love with him). I have a WIP for Thesan and his lover and that dynamic and storyline has been so incredibly fun to explore as well.

13. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I started writing a Tarquin UTM oneshot that is incomplete and while I am still in love with the story I really struggled with writing the voice of Tarquin. This one will only ever get finished if I can finally figure out the right tone for this man’s internal dialogues.

14. What are your writing strengths? I have been told my writing reads like poetry which is one of the biggest compliments you could ever give me. I also love writing parallels but there’s definitely a lot of room for improvement there.

15. What are your writing weaknesses? Editing haha. But actually, I find that my characters voices don’t feel very distinct and that there is a lot of overlap in the way they speak and think and it can be hard to distinguish who’s talking/thinking. I feel like my characters resemble a cookie cutter suburban neighborhood where the walls and trim might be a different colour but they’re all built exactly the same. If anyone has some tips please feel free to comment or message me!

16. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I absolutely love reading it but unfortunately the only other language I know isn’t really a language at all. Pidgin, which is basically just native slang. I was playing around with it in my Tarquin fic a bit but seemed a tad too niche.

17. First fandom you wrote for? LOTR in middle school. I have a printed multi chapter booklet that is a rewrite of Sam and Frodo’s journey through Mordor that I made for my English class one year.

18. Favorite fic you’ve written? My favourite multi chapter by another author is undoubtedly A Court of Shadows and Ashes by @futurehunt Mother Save Us From Your Twisted fate by @chunkypossum which got a stunning part 2 for Eris Week this year! My favorite of my own published works is either HHtFWFiL:TE or The Ending of Darkness. Of my unpublished works honesty The Burning of Leave or The Death of Shadows are both strong contenders. For non Azris I have a Beron fic WIP for @sjmvillainweek day 1 that will probably get prioritized over the other two.

No pressure tags (and sorry if you've already been tagged): @the-darkestminds @born-to-riot @chairofchaos @thomasisaslut @chunkypossum @acourtofladydeath @shadowsandlint

#tags with stars #tag game #acotar #azris #gwynweek2024 #erisweek2024 #azrisweek2024 #eris vanserra #tarquin acotar #thesan acotar

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not-poignant · 4 months ago

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Hi! Okay, so I found you originally gods back in like, 2018? Maybe? Time is fake. Anyways you wrote my all time favorite fic, then I found you again recently through A Stain That Won't Dissolve and I am just absolutely devouring this one as much as the other.

My question is, I know you have you original works published (Which I just saw and had no idea about and will be thoroughly checking those out.) But, would you ever do physical copies of any of your AO3 stories? I'm guessing the answer is no on that and that's totally fine!! But the thought of having those fics in my grubby lil hands in the form of paper is such a satisfying thought. But I am just as happy having them in a lil folder in my chrome or downloaded to my phone completely.

Anyways I just need you to know that you are a gods damn holy being and I am so glad you exist because your writing gives me a reason to keep living ;-; thank you!

Hi anon!

So I won't ever do physical copies of my own fanfiction stories, unless I like commission a book binder to make some copies just for me.

But as for my original stories on AO3, I do really want to physically publish them. That was actually the plan for this year - to start doing this - but I hit what I like to call Mega Burnout, and struggled just to write, and have had to backburner a lot of stuff, a lot of plans. I started to edit Game Theory and then...yeah.

It is the plan though! It's become especially true actually with later stories like Underline the Black and Falling Falling Stars. I think these could be really good published as unconventional psychological fiction, and I don't mean 'really good' as in it will make me a lot of money - I don't think they will, Perth Shifters taught me that book publishing isn't for me if I'm doing it for finance reasons lmao - but I mean... just for the satisfaction of seeing my own fucking writing on my own bookshelves.

I'm weak, I want to see it somewhere where it feels substantial, and where I can hold it in my own hands, and it has a cover, and a proper copyright page, and an index. Where it can be not just in ebook form because AO3 will do that for you, but where it can exist for audiences who wouldn't touch AO3 with a 10 foot pole (because they like missing out on great stories or w/e).

It's very indulgent of me, but as I get older, I look at my bookshelves and increasingly think 'those folks who have enjoyed my stories - including me - should at least have the choice to put them on their shelves.'

If you're a bookbinder, or willing to print them out for yourself, and don't sell them in any way or form, you can of course do it for myself.

But it grows so much more important to me over time too. <3

#asks and answers #pia on publishing #it's such a strange thing really #but i think i'll cry the first time i see my books on my shelf #because i know that like #if i published enough of them - since many will be #many volumes long #they will take up nearly a whole shelf #and that feels unreal actually #administrator gwyn wants this in the queue

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nekoannie-chan · 1 month ago

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Touch me

Title: Touch me.

Fandom: Marvel, Captain America.

Ship: Steve Rogers X Reader.

Word count: 974 words.

Square: 18 “Touch me.”

Rating: Teen.

Summary: Steve doesn't dare touch you.

Major Tags: Kisses, Shy!Steve, implicit smut.

Additional tags: This is my entry for the @fandom-free-bingo Valentine’s edition.

Links: Wattpad, Ao3, Spanish version.

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish, so I wanna improve my writing skills in English. Please let me know if you notice any mistakes, and I will correct them.

I don’t give any permission for my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate my work myself) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. Please let me know if you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish: Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter.

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @Smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @Harrysthiccthighss @Marvelatthisone @caplanbuckybarnes @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @chaoticcollectivenightmare @endlesstwanted @chemtrails-club @marigoldreamer @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @Here4thefanfics @theestorm @patzammit @kmc1989 @somegirlfromasgard @rogersbarber

Sunlight streamed through the curtains of the small coffee shop where you and Steve Rogers used to meet.

That day, however, something about him was different. You noticed it in how he kept his eyes fixed on his mug, his fingers playing nervously with the rim of the ceramic cup. It wasn't unusual for Steve to be quiet, but today he seemed more distant than usual.

“Steve, are you all right?" You asked softly, leaning a little closer to him.

“I'm fine,” he finally replied after a while.

You didn't believe him. You knew Steve too well to accept that answer. So, you reached out a hand toward him, placing it gently on top of his. However, Steve immediately tensed up. His eyes dropped quickly to where your hands were, and then, with an almost imperceptible movement, he withdrew his.

“I'm sorry,” he murmured.

You frowned, confused by his reaction, and slowly withdrew your hand.

“Why are you apologizing? “you asked in a gentle but concerned tone.

Steve sighed; his gaze still fixed on the table. He ran a hand through his hair, a gesture he made whenever he was nervous.

“Because...” he hesitated for a moment. Because I'm not what you deserve.

“Steve...” you began, leaning a little closer to him. Don't say that. I love you just the way you are.

He closed his eyes for a moment.

“But I want to give you more,” he finally confessed. I want to be someone who can protect you and who can make you feel safe. But look at me... how could I even touch you without feeling like I'm failing you?

Without thinking, you got up from your chair and walked over to him. You bent down slightly to be at his level, placing a gentle hand on his cheek. This time, he didn't pull away, though you could feel the tension in his jaw.

“Steve, you don't need to be more than you already are. I don't care if you don't think you're not enough; to me, you always will be.

Her eyes filled with unshed tears, and for a moment, it looked like she was going to respond. But instead, she simply nodded, leaning her face toward your hand.

Your hand was still on Steve's cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin under your fingers.

Without another thought, you leaned your face toward him, letting your lips brush his gently. Steve was frozen still at first, his eyes widening slightly in surprise.

But then, little by little, he began to reciprocate.

When you pulled away slightly, his eyes remained closed for a second longer, as if he wanted to prolong the sensation.

“Y/N...” he whispered, his voice still trembling. ”Why...?”

You interrupted him softly, with a quiet smile.

“Because I love you, Steve. And because I want you to know it, not just with words, but with every part of me.”

“But I... I don't want you to settle for me. I want to give you everything, and I don't know if I can.

You caressed her face again, your thumb tracing soft circles on her cheek.

“I'm not settling, Steve. I'm choosing you. I want a man who gets up again and again and who doesn't give up. I want the Steve who stands here, in front of me, no matter what he thinks he's missing.

They left the coffee shop and headed for Steve's apartment; just as he was opening the door, he let out a shaky sigh. You walked in and sat down on the couch, and then his hands, trembling slowly rose to wrap around you. He allowed you to snuggle closer to him, resting your forehead against his.

“I never thought anyone could see me like this,” he murmured, his voice barely a whisper.

“I've always seen you like this, Steve. Always.

At that moment, as his arms closed a little tighter around you, you knew you had to give him one more push.

Steve held you in his arms,

“Y/N,” he whispered again, ”I don't know how to thank you for... for this. For everything.

“You don't have to thank me, Steve. All I want you to understand is that you're not alone. You never will be as long as I'm here.

Steve nodded slowly. Slowly, one of his fingers traced a gentle line down your cheek, as if he were memorizing every detail. You stroked his hair gently, letting your fingers glide through his blonde hair.

“All I want is for you to be you. That's more than enough for me.

When he kissed you again, it was different from the first. More confident, more determined. His lips moved sweetly.

You clung to him; the kiss slowly began to intensify. Your hands slid from his shoulders to his neck, caressing it as you leaned closer. Steve responded in kind; his trembling hands now clasped around your waist as if afraid to let go. His hands slowly moved up, his fingers brushing the curve of your back.

“Y/N...” he murmured.

“Touch me,” you commanded.

Before he could say anything else, you silenced him with another kiss, this time taking control. Your tongue brushed against his gently, and you felt his hands cling to you tighter as if he wanted to make sure you didn't pull away.

You began to caress each other over your clothes until you began to take them off. When he entered you, you felt him tremble, and you kissed him again to give him confidence.

When you finally broke apart, you were both breathless, your foreheads touching as you tried to catch your breath.

“You don't know how much I've dreamed of this,” he confessed.

You smiled, gently caressing his face.

“Then it's time we stopped dreaming, Steve. I'm here with you, and I'm not going anywhere.

He held you tighter.

#fandom free bingo #valentine's edition #steve rogers x reader

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