#is this coherent. idk i'm tipsy

[booomerangarrow]

....I'm sorry are they SERIOUSLY trying to pull a "maybe the real pararanormal activity was the friends we made along the way"....??

DOGGETT: So close, Dana. I'm sorry you don't get your proof.

SCULLY: Me too. Well, maybe I've had it these past nine years. If not proof of the paranormal, then ... of more important things.

[pixeechix21]

Theo nott x reader

Academic rivals and you really need to de-stress good thing great minds think alike 😋✌️

Ps im a wee bit tipsy n idk how to think rn so let use our ✨imagination✨ I love yall xxox

You're in the Hogwarts library and you're super stressed. So stressed you can't focus and this isn't the moment for you to get side tracked especially when he's studying as hard as you if not harder than you. 

In a corner nearby you hear a frustrated shout and the thudding of books being thrown. Getting up I cautiously look around the corner. By a set of empty tables is a hunched over figure running his hands through his hair. “Hey everything okay?” You ask shyly to walk up to them. 

“No.” his voice is all too familiar. The voice that haunts my dreams and fuels my fantasies. I pick up the books, setting them on the table. “I keep on getting distracted,” he admits. I can see the bags under his eyes, probably reflecting those under my eyes. In the low light of the library and the dark outside he looks like a ghost from the ancient times we study about. His skin glows warmly and his eyes are shadowed. I find my breath hitching in my throat as he looks up at me with a certain look in his eyes. 

“If it helps I'm stressed I can't focus either,” you say helplessly. He pushes his chair back, his usually neat clothes are wrinkled, shirt pulled out and tie slightly undone. There's a sudden urge to fix it for him. Without a second thought my hand reaches out and pulls on his tie lightly loosening it. His deep eyes look at mine, surprised at me cold hands working his tie. Lowly I whisper to him, “I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” He chuckles lightly, amused his hand rests on my waist. His tie finally undone and I keep hold of him. His proximity is electrifying. In the quiet of the library I can't seem to keep my thoughts from him. 

As if he has read my mind he starts, “there's this. This. This thing, person, that I can't keep off my mind. Wherever I go, whenever I try to not to think about them they just Weaste their way into the very crevasse of my deepest-” his fingers dig in a little tighter, “-depraved parts of me.” I bite my bottom lip. “Your turn,” he says, eyes looking at my lips then back to my hooded eyes.

“Hmmm.” I hum, sleep deprived and drunk on the feeling of his possessive hold snaking its way under my shirt. His fingers holding on to my bare skin, burning that spot deliciously with his touch. “I feel, I don't know.. I feel tense and stressed. You see there's this guy,” his eyebrows prick up interested, “he consumes my thoughts to the point where I can't focus,” I aggressively plant my hand on his chest, smiling as I slip into his lap as he pulls me closer. 

“Tell me who this guy is?” It's barely audible with the pulsing of blood in my ears. 

“If I tell you you have to promise not to tell anyone, He's the only one that can help my dire situation,” I mockingly plead, a dark look comes over him. Underneath me he shifts himself holding me down to feel him securely.

“I can't promise anything,” his hot breath tickles my neck. Asmall kiss marks where his lips were. I try so hard not to moan in relife at the feeling of him. “But I can promise i can relive some of that… stress,” hes mi.iteres away from my lips. Our breaths are one and the same. I didn't have a single helpful thought before and I don't have one now. I kiss him. Our lips meet in a tangled mess of need and desperation. I needed this. His hands pushing me into him forcing all coherent thoughts of the test out of my kind for good.

[nerdysleepybunny]

Could you do a Hazbin Hotel fic where Alastor and Lucifer are furious at each other and they get into a big fight that everyone witnesses, and Alastor says something that hit hard for Luci and he goes back into his room or something, (just away from him). Charlie gets furious at Al and sends him to apologise, and Idk, Luci could be pushing Al and his apology away or something, and somehow, Al is still hurt from the fight with Adam, and there could be some fluff and all, a little angst. But absolutley NO smut or anything like that. ^^

I hope its okay for your limitations. And I hope you write it. Absolutely no rush or hate if you can't or don't want to. <3

APOLOGIES THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO! I hope it was worth the wait friend <3

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Fandom(s): Hazbin Hotel Character(s): Alastor, Lucifer, Charlie (ft. Husk, Angel, Vaggie, Niffty) Reader: None TW: Arguing, mention of alcohol Style: Short story

Summary: Lucifer and Alastor get into an argument about how Lucifer isn't a very good father anymore. Afterwards, Charlie forces Alastor to apologize.

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Angel Dust was tipsy, but sober enough to speak coherently. He was venting his frustrations to Husk, talking about how awful his day at work was. Husk listened quietly, his full attention on the spider, until he felt a familiar sense of dread. Husk could always sense Alastor before actually seeing him.

"Angel, Husk." Alastor greeted with his usual terrifying grin. Angel only waved him off, too much in his feels to flirt with him like he usually did. "Hey, boss." Husk muttered before quickly pouring Alastor his usual glass of whiskey. The sooner he pleased Alastor, the sooner he could be alone with Angel again; the way he liked it.

Once the overlord retreived his drink, he walked with satisfaction towards the lounge area, drowning out Husk and Angel's conversation starting back up. It was hard to focus on their silly troubles when his eyes caught onto Lucifer, who was sitting in Alastor's usual seat and conversing with Charlie and Vaggie.

"Ahem!" Alastor announces himself and interrupts the conversation, his smile turning more malicious towards Lucifer. "I believe you're in my seat." Lucifer immediately gets defensive. Charlie sees where this is going, but doesn't get a chance to intervene. "Your seat? This is my hotel! I can sit wherever I please." Alastor laughed. "Actually, this hotel belongs to Charlie and I! Isn't that right, dear?"

"Um... well-" Charlie tried, but was once again interrupted. "This hotel was built by my daughter, with my permission and last name." Lucifer was attempting to remain professional, but Alastor managed to get under his skin like no other. "And who helped physically build the hotel? Who kept the place safe and running smoothly?" Niffty, who seemed to appear out of nowhere, responded to Alastor's rhetorical question while sweeping along the floor. "Alastor did!" The tiny maid giggled and ran off after receiving a glare from Vaggie.

"And who is Charlie's father?!" "Well, it may as well be me with how absent you are!"

"But I'm back now! I'm trying!"

"But is it enough...?"

That question broke Lucifer. Was he enough? He looked at Charlie, his beautiful daughter. With friends and a partner by her side, and an entire business she's made almost entirely without him. Maybe Alastor was right, and nothing would even change if he left again. So he did.

Charlie stared in shock as Lucifer retreated upstairs, likely towards his own tower. Vaggie, arms crossed, was giving Alastor a dirty look that he completely ignored. "Nice going, puto." Charlie placed a hand on her lover's arm to calm her down before standing. "Alastor, you seriously shouldn't have done that..."

Alastor, being the selfish man he is, just hummed and took a seat on his chair. He took a sip of his whiskey before replying. "Well, it certainly got him out of my chair."

Charlie couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was Alastor truly this arrgogant (yes he is, my sweet naive princess)?! She quickly realized that she wasn't going to get through to him with her kind demeanor, so she put her foot down. "Alastor... as the princess of Hell, it is completely unacceptable for you to insult my father. Go apologize to him, now."

Alastor's smile faltered slightly, not used to being ordered around by Charlie of all people. But seeing her serious face and Vaggie's shocked yet proud look, he knew he had no choice if he wanted to stay on the princess' good side. With a sigh, he stood and placed down his whiskey. "Very well!" He then vanished in a puff of dark shadows, teleporting himself inside Lucifer's bedroom, the man in question angrily making a duck of Alastor before setting it ablaze.

"My, my... what a peculier way to spend your time!" Alastor commented almost mockingly as he looked around at all the ducks. Lucifer had to hold back from shifting to his demonic form out of anger. "You don't have permission to be inside my bedroom. Get out." He commanded, and Alastor almost would've been scared if it wasn't for the king's short stature. He teleported once again, now right next to Lucifer so he could place his arm on top of the angel's head. "No need for all that! I simply came to apologize for my rude words. How about we get a meal to make up for everything?"

"Apologize...?" Lucifer angrily took a step away from Alastor, not trusting him in the slightest. But food did sound good. And if his apology was sincere (which it wasn't), then maybe they could finally end all the fighting and bickering. "Fine." "Wonderful!"

If only Lucifer knew that Alastor meant Cannibal Town... (he's traumatized)

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

[polaroidcats]

It just hit me. For part 2 of assigning german/austrian songs to the marauders, this time with Remus:

Egoist by Falco.

You know it's true.

(This is the only Remus bashing you will ever get from me, he is my babygirl and he has never done anything wrong in his life ever)

Oh wow okay I didn't know I'd be coming home to Remus bashing in my inbox today but here we are! Why are you calling him an egoist? Just because he abandoned his pregnant (so very straight) wife (so very straightly) and didn't take responsibility for that until a 17 year old kicked his ass? Idk what you're on about, that's a weird AU, Remus would never do that.

I see your Falco and I raise you: Junge Römer. You know Sirius played that song on repeat for like a week and thought he was the funniest person ever because of Remus's name.

Also I should note, I'm a bit tipsy (ON REMUS WINE!) atm so this is NOT the official German Remus playlist, this is the shitpost version of the official German Remus playlist, here we go, no thoughts just vibes:

Okayokay I'm thinking abt austrian music now and since we're pretty much the only 2 people invested in these playlists anyways I won't worry about the musicians being well known or not (though I'd love to know which of these you knew and which you didn't!).

May I sugesst Wolfgang Amrbos' Die Kinettn wo i schlof as homeless Remus Lupin's crying song. I feel a bit bad about putting this on the list because the song is genuinely so good and emotional and it made me cry when I was a child (I grew up listening to Ambros) but yeah. Uhm. No further explanation, also idek if you'll understand the dialect lol

DIALECT! When making the german Sirius list one of my Remus thoughts was what the german equivalent to welsh/scottish remus is and I've come to the conclusion that the obvious answer is Vorarlberg. SO obviously Vo Melo Bis Ge Schoppornou has to be included on the list. No I don't understand much either but it's still german (and imho one of the sexiest german accents, I said what I said).

Ham kummst is toxic wolfstar divorce AU core!!!!

Okay this one is actually a serious (lol) suggestion I think Remus would actually really like and relate to Sie mögen sich by Kätpn Peng! ALso maybe Tier by Käptn Peng?

Meine Sonne by Grossstadtgeflüster as angsty REMUS POV either poa era or first war or sth

Also I know this is officially the inofficial Remus list but i had another galaxy brain idea - Aurélie by Wir sind Helden is a song about french Sirius in an AU of our german marauders AU.

oKAAAY ANYWAYS BACK TO AUSTRIAN MUSIC Ich Lebe by Christl Stürmer is also a Remus/wolfstar song now, because I said so.

sepp haT gesagT wir müssen alles anzünden is just pure chaos marauders vibes tell me I'm wrong.

okayyy back to remus Irgendwann bleib I dann dort by STS is also Remus. ANd Gö, du bleibst heut nacht bei mir is needy Remus in a werid fwb situation with remus or sth idk

ALso since I've given up any pretense of choosing things that make sense I also suggest 1001 Nacht is about wolfstar friends to lovers slowburn. YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE

Okay also I just wanted to add something by AnnenMayKantereit because why not, and I'm sure there are better songs but I decided on 21,22,23 purely because of the youth/death themes and bc Jily died at 21 and Remus and Sirius died in their mid-late thirties.

okay now i made myself sad i need one more nonsense answwer and then i'll post this glorious completely coherent masterpiece

I was going to go with LaFee for a tasteful last song but then spotify suggested Tokio Hotel and who am I to disagree?! you can't tell me angsty early 2000s german teenage werewolf remus lupin DIDN'T listen to them, I'm sorry but he really felt the lyrics of Durch den Monsun.

yeah idek what this is i'm sure it's EXACTLY what you expected (lol) uhm i blame the remus wine. Any thoughts on the playlist??

[missbaphomet]

hi i've been drinking and i'm gonna rtant about astarion <3

i'm so fucking tired of bad takes about astarion and i've been meaning to so a character analysis for a while and i figured why not while i'm a lil tpsy for comedic effect.

so. asatarion. he's often mis represented as either a tiny smol uwu bean vistim or a irredeemable bad guy and tyhe truth is he's neither. He's traumatized and well written and a complex character and i don't tink enough of you have the media literacy to appreciate yhat tbh

this is already less coherent than I expected (didn't eat before drinking but i'm gonna roll with it) but this is meant mostly as funny hahas and not as a 100% serious deeps dive character analysis. also idk if it's alcohol in general or just tequila but i'm already starting to feel sober shich is annoying so i'm gonna drink more and then continues this postw

i've had another drink now so I'm back!!! anywya this is not going well BUT he's been traumatized for over 200 years sexually phyiscally and emotionally and he's had to adapt for the better and the worse. everything astarion does (at least in act 1 if u romance him) is for hs own protection and preservation. he acts this way because there's nothing more dangerous than letting someone truly know him bc that's just another avenue to be exploited and he doesn't want that!!!!!! he is scared shitless and thew fast he fgell in love with u while trying to seduce him is probably super goddamn scary tp him bc he hasnt had that in 200 YEARS!!!

PERSONALLY AT HIS CORE i DON'T THI NK HE'S A BAD guy he\s just scared and confused and hurting and he doesn't wanna let his guard down and that makes him more scared bc no one has bothered to know him in 200 years. my man is scared of being percieved.

AND DESPITE ALL OF THAT HE TRIED HIS BETS TO BE A GOOD PERSON IF THAT S WHAT YOU ENCOURAGE HIM TO DO!!!!!! He\s selfish and doesn't like to help others bc no one helped him bt that does not make him uncaring or cruel. he is not a good person but he's trying his best ok and it's hard but he does really well all things considered.

i fuckin forgot where I was goin with this and I'll b sure to write a coherent character analysis when I'm sober but fuck man. I love him so fucking much. my own trauma is super similar and i probably project on hi m a little too much bc of that but man he's my fuckin blorbo and I have so many thoughts and feelings that my lil heary cannot process when i'm tipsy. i love him so much. I give up trying to make a coherent point rn byt he\s my poor sping wet lil meow meow and i love him so so sos sos o much aaaaaaa

[grahamkennedy]

do you have any stewy headcanons?

Okay I'm gonna slowly go through all my asks but this one is calling to me so here's some headcanons

People always ask why Stewy chose that name specifically when he changed it. I don't think it was anything deep. He was just fed up with people purposefully stumbling over Sadegh as if it wasn't perfectly easy to pronounce, so he just stole a name from one of his dad's white patients who seemed like a decent enough guy (I'm inclined to think Stewy's father was in medicine, but what field I'm not sure). He wasn't trying to find a deep meaning or anything.

Based on a comment by Arian Moayed that I can't be assed trying to find right now but I will find later if you ask nicely, I'm inclined towards Stewy's parents divorcing some time in his twenties, but he grew up the child of a loveless but fairly civil marriage. Like his parents didn't hate each other, and it started out well, but by the time Stewy was ten, they'd started talking to each other like business associates rather than lovers. Because they both doted on him and they weren't screaming at each other or anything, Stewy didn't think much of it, because it wasn't a particularly traumatic, especially compared to a family like the Roys.

Stewy's hatred of socks goes back all the way to early childhood. His mom would spend ages fighting a two year old Stewy into a pair of socks only for them to come off five minutes later. She eventually gave up.

Stewy was originally planning on following his father into medicine, but his friendship with Kendall and his knack for mathematics led on the path to become a businessman. He enjoys private equity, but part of him wonders what it would be like to have become a psychiatrist and thrown xanax prescriptions at sad old rich ladies. It sounds incredibly easy to him. The money pulls always him back though.

I have more, probably, but these are the ones falling out of my head right now. I'm also a bit tipsy so idk how coherent I am.

[toastedpopsicle]

I think something that doesn't get brought up in discussions of D&D is how bad it is at being an action heavy fantasy adventure game. The first game of Mutants and Masterminds, a superhero rpg, I played in was in a fantasy setting inspired by classical myth where the PCs were wayward demigods. That game was so much more fun, engaging, and evocative than anything I'd ever experienced with D&D.

That's such a good point, and I think I know why. Like a huge part of modern d&D's problems stem from it being kind of a disparate collection of goals in design after so long and so much committeed revision. Add onto that a lot of system baggage from iterations that no longer really have anything to do with d&d. Partly because d&d doesn't have a solid grasp on what it wants to be anymore; in positioning itself as the rpg it's destroyed any unique ludoexperiential core it had as one RPG among many. It wants to be a universal story system without dropping its tactics game baggage; its tactical dungeon crawler baggage just muddies its attempts at evolving as it becomes more and more vestigial. It wants to be a game that can be gory scary dark fantasy and bombastic epic fantasy and cozy pastoral fantasy aaannd whatever else a player could possibly want and as a result it does all these things fairly to poorly. It's also trying to build all these things off the shattered bones of a brutally deadly tactical dungeon crawler that punished extensive combat.

Idk how coherent that is I'm answering while tipsy.

[swordcoasts]

Nah, be uncharitable. All Larian does is make Divinity over and over again. BG3 is just Divinity with a shitty Forgotten Realms veneer over it. The companions are generic as fuck, the mechanics are the same, it's tired and tiresome. I'm also skeptical of the whole Early Access release cycle, but that's the video game industry as a whole now and not on Larian themselves.

I understand that the first two games are a thing of the past and that isometric RPGs are nowhere near as popular as they used to be, but holy shit. The visuals are good but everything else feels so hollow and empty.

while i'm not as cynical about it, i get where you're coming from for sure.

i say this as someone who loves divinity, but i do think the format is not good for baldur's gate. the isometric rpg format that made the original bg games so popular is ideal for the series because it allows for a strong emphasis on combat, but allows you to opt out of it entirely if you want to. all that without losing much (if any, tbh. durlag's tower was the only interesting combat area for me bc i'm just not a huge ad&d/3.5 fan) gameplay value. the fact that there weren't involved cutscenes in bg1/2 allowed for so much variability that i'm afraid the bg3 format simply won't accommodate.

i think this is in general one of the big critiques i have about modern rpgs, publishers are so focused on pushing out visually appealing games that they don't have any resources to put into substance. and i genuinely don't mean to sound like a boomer or whatever, but there's a reason why bg1/2 are still considered genre classics while modern rpgs will be forgotten in ~5 years.

i do think larian is capable of a lot, i love both dos1 and dos2, but i think the pressure put onto them and the formulaic approach to baldur's gate will lead to something disappointing or mediocre.

[buckhelped-archive]

Hey hey hey how do we feel about Buddie dorky dancing around to Billy Joel’s Tell Her About It

i hear you and i raise you this: they're out at that karaoke bar with the firefam and someone else (madney maybe? cause i mean it's karaoke) is up singing this song and they're sitting next to each other and they're both Feeling Things but they're so caught up in keeping their own freakout under wraps that they don't notice the other person is also Going Through It. and then one of them is just like fuck it, i have to tell him. and so on.

but then once they get together YES they totally would and of course they'd swap all the 'her's for 'him's etc and then when it's over they would tell each other how in love they are and maybe the song helps that become like a thing for them. i'm already super into them being very affectionate with each other, both verbally and physically, and i like the idea of the song being a catalyst for them wrt that affection

[weirdfishy]

Fishy, my dear, you might darn well be the only person besides me who exists in the middle of this venn diagram, but I am torn between two options here. In the AU where Jason Todd has a decent career as a YA/children's author, he needs a penname for obvious reasons.

I am torn between "Peter Something," (Peter Al-Ghul? Peter Kane? Idk I need to read more Jason) and using his middle name for simplicity's sake, or going full niche dork and using "Spencer Elliott."

I can't be the only one who sees a similarity between Jason and Eliot, right? Like. Jason's more patient, more wily, more of a mastermind. But other than that... *gestures* Similar vibes??? Idk I'm tired and slightly tipsy I hope I'm being coherent

empress, darling, i’ve got to say i’m more dangling my feet in the dc/batfam circle and floating along in the leverage circle, i simply like reading fanfic from the people i follow even if it's not entirely the fandom i followed them for; it expands my horizons when i read things with half an understanding, and dc is a convoluted classic i haven't much devoted time to detangling.

in terms of jason todd, i primarily know him as tire-stealing kid that bats takes under his wing and resurrected red hood pissed at the joker and bats/until he does the 'kill me or i kill him' thing (+ the fanfic ideal of batfam)

i appreciate you thinking of me!!!! so i’ll give a couple cents best i can:

for the first option i wouldn't have much of a clue bc i don't have too great a grasp on jason as a character, but for last names i think Robinson would be slightly funny and idk why Crowe popped into my head when thinking about it

_

as for the second option, i'm completely, always, totally On Board with the "reference that's kinda unnecessary, kinda not at all related to this, but it's here Bc I Said So"

but i am kinda seeing where you could go with their comparison…

theyʻve both got that anger and went down the way of solving their problems with some ass kicking for their own means. to the point of Jason’s masterminding, agreed, you don't just take control over multiple gangs for funsies— similarly, Eliot has the ability to see the bigger picture, I think— like, it’s been said that he’s 80% con-man/grifter, 20% hitter, and while he doesn’t mastermind his cons, he does take care in whose cons he’s apart of (prefering to work alone pre-leverage) and what is happening in those cons

imo, eliot is more of a passive power and jason is more of an aggressive power, but their vibes for the kind of power they wield / how they wield it are so so similar

also i think it'd be worth comparing them with the distinction of their characters in different parts of their timeline?? like pre-Leverage Eliot and post/during-Leverage Eliot are two very different people, and during-batman/robin Jason and post-batman/red hood Jason are different; there's a distinct shift.

idk i was just thinking about both of their issues/subsequent anger, and what they end up doing with it + how their methods of handling it change (now i'm sort of feeling like a 'you could've been This if you had This Circumstance' could sort of fit in their comparison of where they start and where they end up?)

i whittled this down from all kinds of tangents that were mostly barely related and i was looking for that second link for a hot min but hopefully this was a little worth the wait ? (kala mai/sorry)

thanks for this ask empress!! 💗💗

[tartagliaxx]

lmao, i hate my luck, i rlly rlly do. is my account cursed? i feel like i should perform an exorcism on it at this point.

i swear, i feel like we should get at least like 1 free 10 pull considering our birthday only rolls about once every 365 days, but i guess it is a gacha game, they have to make money somehow.

i don't rlly like my birthday, and i can't even explain why lmao, i feel rlly empty rn and i can't even comprehend why? on a side note, i heard this song and now i'm sad again

am i being coherent rn? sorry, i'm sorta tipsy and it's like 5 in the morn, i hope i don't get a hangover or smth when i wake up. i don't think i'm drunk? i don't think i drank that much anyways

— r. anon

what happened? did you roll yesterday? if you have chongyun, maybe try to level him up? idk maybe its time to cling onto superstitions.

and yes! omg the things we get for our birthday are so not... pog. like i mean, yea i get it but at least give us something w a relatively good value? mhy im talking about fates. fates man, FATES.

i understand. i also personally dont like my birthday bc it brings back sad memories and idk just reminds me how unfulfilling i live most of my life and how i feel so alone. every year though, i try to hope that its THE birthday that would make me feel genuinely happy. on the otherhand, i like celebrating other people’s birthdays bc i think its worth celebrating (lol whut) ‘if you weren’t born, we wouldnt have met and thats a sad reality to think about’ kind of thing. also,, thats such an ancient vocaloid song,, like i remember the good ol’ days i would listen to a playlist w the most depressing vocaloid songs w my headphones in. that used to be one of my favorite songs bc for a time i thought it was relatable?

pls idk why im laughing but man. seeing you drunk and undergoing the drunken stages by each ask is just so funny? again, you’re welcome and i couldnt imagine a better conclusion than you sending the lyrics to that. pretty impressed tho. im sure you alr memorized that by heart.

[sothischickshe]

30 32 50 - how do you write so many reviews????

30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

Oh well, I think this might be the third part of to everything there is a season.

I think it's going to be challenging cos there's gonna be mood whiplash and some action and a couple of pov changes, and I think that could all be very fun, and also some of it is going to be very funny, which might be challenging cos of the mood whiplash, but should still be a lot of fun!

(is this my favourite idea, or just probably the next thing I'm planning to write, who can say truly)

32.  Most difficult character to write

Hmm well this is a bit of cheat but @bourbon-ontherocks made me realllllly want to write some Turner pov around the scene where beth tells him that her and rio screwed on the breakfast dishes. I think writing Turner pov might be quite challenging anyway (I've only written beth and rio pov), but also im kind of mentally blocked on it cos I need an answer to a question - thank you for reminding me to consult the hive mind!!

50.  [Other question—ask me anything]

How do I write so many reviews?

Well I don't think I leave any, I leave comments! And I think that's an important semantic distinction, and probably therein lies the answer. At least I think of reviews as coherent, and probably containing a paltry quantity of exclamation marks. Whereas I flail and screech and EXCLAIM!

I think an important factor in leaving a lot of comments, is reading a lot of stories. (or I suppose reading stories a lot of time.) I have definitely achieved step 1.

And then step 2 is, at least for me, having no compunction about screeching and flailing and exclaiming. And, related, step 3 is being OK with not remembering everything I want to say.

I know some people take notes when they're commenting and I think that's so awesome, but to me that kind of feels like work? So I often forget half the things I wanna yell about, but that's OK! I yelled about the other half!!!

And then also relatedly step 4, which is being OK with not leaving comments sometimes. I do try to leave a comment if I can, but sometimes I haven't got the energy. Sometimes I'm tired or stoned or tipsy or sad or inarticulate or confused. But I think the fact that I'm ok with not always leaving a comment makes it easier to leave comments? Idk, I would never want it to feel like a chore, and the fact that it doesn't, makes it enjoyable?

And then step 5 is doing it immediately. I know that if I don't do it at the time, I probably won't come back to do it (there are a few exceptions, like if I've been eagerly awaiting something I might read it, sleep on it, reread, comment - cos I knowww I was anticipating it and I'll go back to comment). So I generally just spew forth whatever random thoughts I've had!

Step 6 is I guess habit. I mean i guess it's like anything, the more you do it, the easier it gets.

Step 7 and I'm realising now these aren't really steps but let's go with it, is i love reading people's responses to my comments!!! (I know some authors don't reply to comments and that's fine too!) It's so nice leaving someone a comment and getting a sense of how they felt reading it!! It always puts a smile on my face, especially if I made them laugh

[tartts]

Teach me how to have men on my feet like you! (i'm being honest! haha)

I showed this anon to @drunkbisexaul on my phone and she was like “Warren just texted you” like BITCH I KNOW

OKAY. SO.

Guys are really mmmmmmm easy to understand to me? Predictable, if you will?

Ngl it’s a lot easier you’re conventionally attractive but if you’re confident with how you look in general that should be good. So I met this one specifically through a fucking video game that we played together and as most people know every girl who plays video games is hyped up regardless of how they look. So that’s a plus. So started we already had a common denominator that we both liked and could talk about? And we were completely platonic friends for MONTHS before this shit went down because this bitch got bored™️

For me it’s kind of an instinctual thing where I subconsciously become their dream girl (from what they’ve told/admitted to me) because like idk as an air sign I really latch onto whoever I’m currently talking with and like… start talking like them and start acting like them and idk! That’s just me! So I basically SUBCONSCIOUSLY become a dream girl to guys and then I just fuck them over because I don’t usually catch feelings? And leave them in the dust?

Literally like I sent him a few lingerie pics and he was DROOLING over me telling his family about me asking me to move in with him. It’s different with Warren tho because I think I started as a joke but I also think that I actually genuinely like him now so that kinda bit me in the ass :/ i mean I’ve shared A LOT on tumblr but nowhere close to all of it and he’s sooooo cute and malleable to my whims I’m like 😈😈😈

But ohhh another thing: typically guys who are less alpha™️ or just less dominant, definitely easier to manipulate.

Okay so a list™️ of what I can think of when I’m tipsy and trying to answer you in a somewhat coherent manner:

Less alpha or dominant guys, guys who don’t hook up a lot, more repressed, more introverted, etc are where to start (or are just easier)

Pry them for info when they’re tired or drunk (get you that good tea!!!! Take advantage of them when their inhibitions are down! Within reason tho!)

Insinuate yourself into their life and talk to them a lot (if they’re receptive, you don’t want to push it)

Maybe send them a lingerie picture or two or ten like me (earlier he said he wished he could screenshot a video so I saved it and sent it to him later)

Do some tests! Lead them into shit! Ask questions! Text shit that has double meanings that make them think of the dirty meaning! Like I do that ALL the time and he’s like “I thought of…” yeah I did that on purpose I’m a writer I know what I’m about ok

You really gotta insinuate a lot of shit tbh…. they be dumb sometimes and you gotta physically drag them by the hair and show them the good shit™️

Uhhhhh it’s 1 am and I’ve been drinking so this is as good as it’s gonna get ok maybe I’ll add stuff later but for all you other people about to say “damn you’re a bitch tartts :/“ I just wanna say: YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I AM I AM A MANIPULATIVE HOE AN EGOTISTICAL BITCH A WOMAN WITH NO CONSCIENCE

[wernerherzogs]

“Eleanor Tomlinson” is acting in a film with Keira Knightley in a noted historical scene of two women in love? Is this real life.

omg anon did you not know before about this eleanor? rip i'm sorry you had to find out like this

[exciting]

I DONT KNOW IF ANYONE ELSE HAS TOLD YOU THIS BUT YOU LOOK LIKE AMY FROM THE WALKING DEAD ??? I just started watching it and I'm not sure if you've seen it but there's a girl named Amy (she's gone now though cry) and I literally searched up to make sure you weren't a secret actor !! maybe you don't look as similar as I thought (it's 4 am rn so my mind is a little foggy) but wOAH it was weird

I just did a quick google too and, SHE DOES LOOK QUITE LIKE ME (Especially in the last photos I posted right?) I see myself in a lot of photos when I am tired actually which is really odd, but maybe it's just (White girl blond hair no eyebrows similar face shape similar expression something I would do) ??? Maybe future me mastered time travel (Although I HIGHLY DOUBT I WOULD EVER LET MYSELF DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT. Displacement and whatever leads to an INCREDIBLY PROBLEMATIC TIME LOOP or ??? Idk I don't understand physics enough for that to happen I assume!) but I enjoy acting when I go & do it, and sometimes I practise an American accent so. u NEVER KNOW! ... I've never watched walking dead btw, is it good ??? ooooo ! 😘😘😘(I am so tired I sound like I could be tipsy, but I ACTUALLY would be more coherent if that were the case, I believe !!! ANYWAY LOVE U)