#is this because of the boops I've been sending myself

[beepject]

w. What

[crowscanread]

happy halloween! booping you until my hand falls off

i MAY have asked something similar beforehand and forgot about it (apologies if i have). but i'm curious to know the relationship dynamics for tord between edd and tom? general tord interactions and his trust with the gang have been rotting my brain for a bit so i wanna know all the good stuff

also curious to know if you'll do any edits with the beyond era animations frames? i myself struggle finding decent screenshots to redraw or edit with the current era so i typically go for legacy... other than all that, i hope you're well and i'm excited to see whatever future content you have planned :]

HAPPY (late) HALLOWEEN AIDIAN

I'VE BEEN MEANING TO GO IN MORE DEPTH WITH EVERYONE'S DYNAMICS LOL

I made a little chart before, but it was pretty vague, I'm currently working on a more in depth here version but I'll give you the run down starting with Tom.

It's no secret that Tom and Tord have a rocky relationship that has only been exasperated by The End. At this point in WYTC, Tom doesn't trust Tord one bit, fully believing that there's something more at play that Tord isn't telling them (and he's not entirely incorrect). He isn't going to make the same mistake and run off. Now fully committed to keeping his boyfriend and Matt safe now matter the cost.

Edd is a little more complicated. Tord was Edd's best friend for the longest time, and for him to take advantage of his kind and forgiving nature, the way that Tord did shook Edd to his very core. He hates Tord for what he's done, what he's destroyed, what he's put him through. However, there remains a small part of Edd's subconscious that deeply yearns for his friendship. He can't simply forgive Tord for his actions, but he doesn't want their friendship to be over.

Yes, I do plan on doing eddits for Beyond! I have screenshots lined up for Fan Service + Casting, Beaster Bunny, and Surf N Turf. I haven't fully decided on what will be different in terms of designs/details and such because classic and legacy are 100% canon in WYTC, beyond is more loose since my story picks up right after The End. I'll probably just play it by vibes tbh.

If you want, I can send you some of the screenshots :)

[thathypnoskid]

👟

I Am Pulled Out From My Bed

I got my first quest at fourteen. It didn't even feel like one - no sending out, no 'pick two friends to go with you', no consulting the oracle (which I was bummed about - but we're not going there).

It was one of those days I was outside of my cabin - the Hypnos cabin had just finished building, so I really liked spending time inside it. However, the day was quite enjoyable, so I was out picking strawberries with the satyrs.

Well, until Chiron showed up and asked for me.

I was confused. I thought, maybe, that I was in trouble - but really I hadn't done anything apart from knock out an Ares camper and exchange Mr. D's diet coke with Pepsi. And I had already been put on stable duty for that. Not fun.

"Bee." My brows furrowed. Chiron kept his expression guarded, so I couldn't guess what he was calling me for.

"Yes?"

"Please come with me."

I followed him to the Big House, head down, eyes obscured by my bangs. He told me to go inside by myself. The moment the door opened I felt-

Damn. I was overwhelmed.

Apparently, fourteen year old bisexuals were not immune to Aphrodite's charm. My breath caught in my throat, my sweat glands worked overtime, and I was aware of my jaw hanging open.

I'm not sure how to describe her, exactly. At one moment she looked like my second grade substitute teacher, the next she took on the appearance of this blonde actress I had had a crush on.

I froze up, the way I did when in the presence of gorgeous women, but also because she wasn't smiling and I felt intimidated.

When she focused on me, her appearance stopped shifting so much - well, enough for me to recognize wild red hair and shining green eyes - before she changed again.

"Um." I forced out. The goddess put on a smile and beckoned me closer.

"Well!" Aphrodite greeted. "Not who I was expecting."

I blinked.

"Beatrice, am I right?"

Her use of my actual name shook me from my stupor. I averted my gaze and mumbled, "Uh, Bee, actually."

"Bee." Her mouth twitched in slight disapproval. "Well, Bee, I have a task for you."

"Me?" I remembered my manners. "Uh, my lady?"

"Yes, you. For whatever reason, Chiron has chosen you to take this.. quest."

Probably meant to degrade me, but in her voice I could hardly detect it. I waited.

"I have a date with Ares tomorrow night." Aphrodite hummed. "Unfortunately, I've lost my girdle. I was hoping you could retrieve it for me."

"Yes, of course!" The words tumbled out of my mouth almost involuntarily. I paused, kind of regretting it, but it was too late. Aphrodite booped my nose, leaving my cheeks dusted pink. "Perfect! I expect to meet you at the camp's borders in approximately 24 hours. Otherwise, you'd have to live as a dove. Or a sparrow. Good luck!"

She disappeared, leaving a pile of glitter at my feet. It was only then I realized that she didn't even give me directions.

Well, shit.

part 1/?

a/n (ooc): HELP I GOT CARRIED AWAY

[gamchawizzy]

Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. Then you have to send this to ten of your favorite followers 🖤

HEEHEHE oki!!

I like the way I worldbuild!! I've only talked to @/s0yuzsauce about my stories in their entirety, but I take so much pride in them! Honestly asking anything about my OCs and their customs or towns and I'm sure to be able to blabber about them!

I like my place on the internet rn! It sounds a little odd but I used to be very worried about popularity on the internet a few years back. This was mostly due to being surrounded by people who made it too much of a big deal, but right now I'm very happy being able to take it slow and interact with people at my own pace. I feel very blessed to have good friends here (incl. you!) and be able to yap on and on about my interests without feeling like I have to compete! I'm at peace with where I am and I'm glad I didn't let all of that stuff get to my head entirely.

I like my willingness to try new things all the time! I always love new opportunities to do something new. I don't get too bored very easily because I can just fill my head with thinking about stories or worldbuilding, but doing new things, tasting new food, cooking new recipes, going to places, learning new languages and skills...these are all exciting to me!

I like my hair! Right now it's a bit short since I shaved for fun sometime back but I KNOW I look good with any length of hair. Sometimes I bleach it and dye it fun colours and it boosts my confidence more! Lately I've been keeping it natural just to see how my growth is like when uninterrupted. I also love my body hair! My thick brows too. My country's beauty standards prefer people to not be so hairy, but I don't care! I walk out there like a full on werewolf and I FEEL great! I hope I can grow out a beard soon though to complete the look ahahaha

Lastly, I like having a very diverse music taste! I cannot limit myself to few genres - i can't think about genres even at all! I'll happily listen to anything and I don't understand people who look down on certain music just cause it's uncool or mainstream or whatever. My playlist will consist of vocaloid, billboard hits, pirate metal, baltic folk, rap, broadway, eurobeats, horror game osts, oldies, hyperpop... literally everything! I also love compiling playlists! I will gladly make playlists for any vibe I want and even about my OCs and stories!

(small preview of all the playlists i cannot stop making)

I'm a little too shy to send this to my followers, so uhhhhh BOOP I TAG ANYONE WHO READS THIS FEEL FREE 2 BANDWAGGIN

[yujeong]

For the truth or dare ask game: 🍬, please and thank you! <3

And because I'm greedy, 🦋 and 🔪, only if you want to, of course.

Also...

BOOP! (ฅ'ω'ฅ)

BOOP! I mean, hello there my friend, how kind of you to send me these ❤️ 🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character Now that I'm thinking about it, you're not so kind after all. You want to get me into trouble lol. Ok, jokes aside, I've made my preferences about Pete very clear throughout my brief Tumblr journey, and there are so many unpopular opinions I have about my boy that I've accepted it at this point - by keeping them to myself in order to not spoil anyone's fun. However, since you asked, I'll talk about one of my biggest ones: Pete (and by extension Vegas) isn't into pet play. I do not accept the "pet" nickname, I do not accept the collars or the leashes or the crates or or or. Obviously, I completely get why most VP fans like to insert pet play into their dynamic. The way their arc was written gives room to various interpretations, and this is one of them. My main issue is how most VP fans view (and write) pet play with them, which is basically Pete doing pet-like things to satisfy Vegas' boner, when in my view of them, Vegas is the one who should service Pete, not the other way around. If I ever got more fics with subtle pet play (indirect, not outright referenced or explained, which is a way I can see it happening with them) and with Vegas taking care of Pete, I'd be all in. Anything else is a big no. 🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately I usually have a lot of pessimistic/morbid thoughts in my mind and heart, but I'll spare anyone from reading about those. Instead, I'll just talk about how much I'm anticipating my upcoming trip abroad to meet some of my wonderful fandom friends, who somehow embraced the mess that is myself and loved me more than I ever could love myself. I really can't wait to see them ❤️ Also, Pete and the numerous fics about him. I think about both constantly and they live in my heart, because I love my beautiful, messy boy and all the ideas for stories he has given me. 🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? You did this one on purpose, too, you gremlin lmao. I will mention the topic, but not what fic it's for: I have spent a great amount of time researching La Pietà by Michelangelo: from pictures to descriptions to fun facts to the history of it, anything that might seem useful for the purpose I want it for. When I can FINALLY write the fic, it's going to be the most bizarre thing I've ever written, probably. (A hint: it's for smut 🫣)

[heidengamedev]

Sooo.....

Conlangs.

I've been thinking a lot about language recently (I started taking Japanese lessons after a lifetime of wishing I could and I'm having a blast!!!) and also how that intersects with the more gritty and mundane parts of gamedev.

When you translate a game from one language to another, you usually send over an excel spreadsheet to the translator to insert all the new lines. Which is fine and dandy, but what about all the handwritten or hand drawn signs? Those are a LOT harder to easily translate from one language to the next. There's a way around it but it usually involves saving the original .psd files you made the image in with all the original layers.

AAaaannndd some of my games are over 10 years old and I don't even have the original files for. For a lot of [redacted]s files, I had to go back in and hand paint out the words so someone else can put in new translated font on top. I'm not complaining, it's quite an honor to have anyone be interested enough in your work to offer to translate it!

But it's something I'm definitely thinking more about as I keep making games. How do I make each game just that ever so slightly easier for myself in the future? I can keep all my original files, that's one thing.

But what if... and hear me out... what if the signs weren't even written in English? You don't have to translate something that was never legible in the first place!

I haven't mentioned it much (because I didn't want to sound too pretentious LOL) but all of my games take place in the same world in different countries in different time periods. I've recorded myself speaking different 'letters' that when strung together make the character 'speak' a new language. (Think animal crossing) Different characters speaking the same word will make the same noises (the letters are the same) but their voice/pitch is different. I haven't gotten this particular aspect to a spot where I'm happy with it, but it's something I'm constantly working on. (Atm I settled on just beeps and boops so far. It's still a 'language' so to say.)

So if these characters are already speaking different languages based on the country each of these games take place in... well it would be extra easy just to throw in their own written forms of the language too!

So above I have a very rudimentary form of the Mienese alphabet. (Mien being the country this mokemon/yaoijam2024/gay pokemon monstrosity takes place in) Atm it's more of a 1:1 cipher than a full blown language, but hey, it's a start. :) And the best part is I don't have to worry about translating the signs!

[dahllaz]

In honour of you reposting that boop post, saying it's okay to send you asks and things, I am sending you this (I hope it's not too personal): It's been going over in my brain for a little bit. Several times in the comments to D5, you mention how much Olivia has no care, no grace, no leniency towards herself, she's so hard and cruel to herself.

While this is definitely on purpose about half the times, because it's to be expected with the trauma she experienced, the other half the times you say this about something that has been written...

Is entirely unintentional. It's me typing away all La La La, this is obviously Normal Thought Processes that a Normal Person Thinks, because this is how *I* think.

And I have to sit back and ask myself... exactly how distorted is my self perception?

I do have a tendency to fall back on self-loathing and I have previously bought it up in therapy and worked on it, but... perhaps it's creeping back up on me?

I don't know.

You're making me THINK. This is not a bad thing.

Ohhhh shit. Oopsie? It could be? I know there have been times I've done similar myself. Well, me more identifying with something that someone else has said that they've realized is not normal, given that I don't write myself.

It also could be, at least somewhat, that I'm anticipating it with Olivia. In general with the show, in a lot of fics, and in D5 specifically given all that she's gone through.

And then there's my tendency to read something/interpret something as even darker than it really is...

[sachigram]

I think a lot about Hearts Like Ours because I've been wanting to comment on the last chapter since it came out and I finally think I can. On another note, I read that "send me some Shizaya prompts you'd like to see! Who knows, maybe I'll write a few" please, don't feel obligated at all, but I can't write myself and I've been thinking about a story for a long time, about Izaya being in love with Shizuo since Highschool but extremely hurt because he hated him on sight, and then on present time +

“And then on present time Izaya finds out that someone is going to hurt Kasuka, Shizuo doesn't answer his phone so Izaya goes to the place himself and without thinking puts himself between Kasuka and the guy who has going to stab him, Kasuka takes him to Shinra and after this Shizuo gets obsessed with trying to know why Izaya would almost die for Kasuka.”

For you, @murasaki19! I wrote this very quickly, and I am sure there are errors, but I hope it cheers you up! <3 Your reviews mean a lot to me, and I’ve missed seeing your name in my notes. I’m always around if you need to talk! 

It happens by accident, really.

Izaya keeps tabs on everyone and everything; it's part of his informant position. Even the most trivial of information can be useful later, like pawns making it across the chessboard. Honestly, it has nothing to do with Shizuo or his family. Still, Izaya stumbles across a plot to kidnap Kasuka, and wars with himself on what to do about it.

On one hand, he hates Shizuo, and therefore, he hates Kasuka. He should revel in the idea of Kasuka being killed or worse, should love the thought of the anguish it would cause Shizuo to lose his precious baby brother.

On the other hand, Izaya has sisters, and he knows Shizuo has helped keep them out of trouble more than a few times, even while hating Izaya.

Something else entirely, Izaya doesn't want Shizuo to lose Kasuka, and it makes Izaya so sick of himself that he can't even look at his reflection on his dark phone screen.

“Fuck,” he mutters, shoving back from his computer. He picks up his phone, goes to Shizuo's contact, hesitates. He can call Shizuo and let the beast handle it. Whether Shizuo believes him or not, Izaya can say he tried, and that should settle his conscience, right? It should be the end of Izaya's involvement.

He presses the 'call' button. It rings once, and then goes to voicemail, and Izaya clenches his teeth, knowing Shizuo ignored the call and likely would delete a voicemail before listening to it. Izaya can't blame him, but still, being ignored always pisses Izaya off beyond anything else.

“Should just let him lose his fucking brother,” Izaya grumbles to no one. Namie left for the day, and no one else will be coming by. Shinra likely would ignore a call from Izaya as well. He's alone in this, as he normally is.

For once, he finally feels the emptiness.

***

He's in the city— He doesn't have a clue what he's doing.

The men who are going to take Kasuka have his work schedule figured out. It's not hard to attain information like that, as long as you know the right people. Izaya himself buys most of his information, and turns around and sells it to whoever asks. It's possible some of these men work with Kasuka, or some of them could have hacked into his file, his schedule, his manager's schedules. Something like this just happened with Kasuka's little girlfriend, right? And then Shinra got attacked. Everyone should have learned a lesson from that, but...

“The more things change,” Izaya mutters aloud.

“Hello?” A man's voice answers him. Izaya sighs, realizing Kasuka heard him and is addressing him. Kasuka is alone— Why is he alone? Where's security? Where's the driver? The car is parked, so where is the fucking driver? “Oh. Orihara-san?”

“Yes,” Izaya says, quieting the questions zipping through his mind. He has an image to maintain, if nothing else, and even if he wasn't consciously planning on coming here, he's here now, and he has to make it look like he meant to be.

“Did you...need something?” Kasuka asks, and Izaya can only imagine how confused Kasuka must be. He's heard awful things for years about Izaya, true things, and all Kasuka knows is that Izaya hates Shizuo, and Shizuo hates Izaya.

“Why are you alone?” Izaya asks, stalling. He moves away from the wall he was leaning against and inches closer to Kasuka.

“My driver is across the street, grabbing to-go food. The guards are right by the door,” Kasuka says in his usual bored tone.

“Inside isn't close enough to stop something from happening,” Izaya says, and Kasuka tilts his head.

“Are you going to attack me or something?”

“I'm only saying, it would be better for you to have someone around, anyone.” Izaya looks over his shoulder, paranoid. He doesn't care about what happens to Kasuka. He's told himself that over and over, and yet, here he is.

“Well. You're here,” Kasuka says with a shrug. “And my driver will be right back.”

Izaya is about to answer and say something along the lines of, 'why wouldn't a big celebrity have his own bodyguards?', or, 'isn't your girlfriend some kind of monster with inhuman strength?', but he doesn't get the chance. Everything happens so fast from there, and even afterwards, Izaya still doesn't know what exactly happened.

All he knows is, he wakes up at Shinra's, and there's a hole in his stomach.

***

“I'm just. I'm floored, you know? I'm totally flabbergasted!” Shinra says jovially as he applies something to Izaya's wound. “Kasuka-san called me and was as close to panicking as can be allowed. He hasn't sounded like that since Hijiribe-san got injured. He drove you here and said you took a knife for him! Could it be that my influence from all those years ago rubbed off on you?”

“Would you please stop talking?” Izaya asks, irritated for many reasons, one of which being Shinra's voice. He has another scar from a knife wound. Izaya doesn't ever want to get stabbed again. It's not fun at all. He wouldn't recommend it to anybody.

“I just wanna know what was going through your head!” Shinra chatters. “Did you know what you were doing? It seems like you don't remember. Did you know the news is reporting you as a hero? They used your name! Hey, are you listening?” Shinra leans over Izaya, squinting at him.

“I don't remember it,” Izaya says, shoving Shinra away. “I was on autopilot.”

“Ah, well,” Shinra says. He leans back in his chair and shrugs a bit. “I think maybe you're working on clearing your bad name. Unfortunately, you'll have to get stabbed a lot more.”

Celty walks in, and Izaya sees his reflection in her helmet. He closes his eyes, not wanting to deal with her, but Shinra laughs at whatever she tells him.

“Kasuka-san is here to visit you. We told him you were awake.”

“What!” Izaya tries to sit up, regrets it immediately. He falls into the sheets with a wince. “I don't want to see him.”

“Sorry,” Kasuka's voice says, already in the room. “They said it was okay.”

“One day, I'm going to sell Shinra to pirates,” Izaya says.

“That might work. A doctor always has value,” Kasuka replies, and Izaya nods. There's silence for a few moments, and then Kasuka clears his throat. “You saved me.”

“I didn't. Or, I didn't mean to.”

“I wanted to thank you.”

“Don't. It's gross; I don't want your thanks.”

“Still,” Kasuka insists, and when Izaya looks over at him, Kasuka is giving him an earnest expression. “I could be in this bed, or much worse. I could be dead. Thank you.”

“Thanking me would be acceptable if I went with the intention of saving you. I didn't. I didn't think about it, and I don't remember it. So really, you don't have to—“

There's a bang in the next room, followed by Shinra shouting.

“WHERE IS HE?!”

“Oh,” Kasuka says, and then he stands. “Shizuo's here.”

“Fucking great,” Izaya mutters. He wonders if Shinra can give him more drugs.

Heavy footsteps thud towards the door, and then it's flying open, revealing a frantic Shizuo. Immediately, he's on Kasuka, looking him over, talking so quickly that Izaya realizes he's already on a lot of drugs, because he can't focus on it. Izaya giggles and moves his hands around in the air, finally feeling the effects of whatever Shinra gave him.

“Why's he here?!” Shizuo barks, and Izaya drops his hands and pouts up at the Heiwajima brothers.

“Can't you have a reunion elsewhere? I'm recovering from an ordeal,” Izaya says, and he blinks as his words slur. “Shinra! What did you give me?”

“Morphine,” Shinra calls.

“I like it.”

“Most people do.”

“Orihara-san—“ Kasuka begins.

“Gross, call me Izaya,” Izaya interjects.

“Uh. Izaya-san saved me. He took a knife for me,” Kasuka continues.

“What? That's fucking impossible. I'm sure he's probably the one who hired those guys to begin with,” Shizuo says, and Izaya tries to be offended, but can't really argue.

“No. Izaya-san showed up on his own, and then some men charged us. Izaya-san jumped in front of me, and then my guards came out from all the noise.”

“I don't buy it. He was involved,” Shizuo argues.

“Even if he was, he paid a price for it,” Kasuka says. Izaya is back to waving his hands around, and he pauses when he feels that everyone is looking at him.

“Am I supposed to say something profound?” Izaya asks. “I think— I think I'm stoned.”

Shizuo marches over to the bed and hovers over Izaya. He glares down at him, and Izaya tries to remember the last time they were this close. Didn't Shizuo headbutt him?

“Why the fuck would you do that? Why would you save my brother?” Shizuo asks.

“I didn't save anyone,” Izaya says, and then he reaches up and touches the tip of Shizuo's nose. “Boop.”

Shizuo snarls down at him, and then someone, probably Celty, drags Shizuo away. Izaya looks up at the empty space Shizuo left and misses Shizuo occupying it. Then, someone else hovers over him.

“I won't forget this, Izaya-san.” Kasuka puts his hand over Izaya's and squeezes. “Thank you.”

“Oh. Go away,” Izaya mutters, and he rolls over. “Being thanked so much reminds me why I'd rather everyone cursed me.”

“I'm sorry you feel that way,” Kasuka says.

“Don't thank him! Don't apologize to him! What the fuck!” Shizuo barks from somewhere, and then Izaya passes out again.

***

Next time he wakes, he's alone.

He reaches for his phone on the table next to the bed. He has messages from Namie, from Shiki, from his sisters. He grumbles and reads through Mairu's babbling about how much she loves him for taking a knife for Yuhei. He replies with a series of emojis, most of them the dancing red dress woman.

Namie asks if Izaya has a brain tumor.

Shiki wants to know if Izaya will return to work now that he's an A-list hero.

“Feeling better?” Shinra asks, and Izaya looks over at him. “You've been pretty out of it.”

“Am I still high?” Izaya asks.

“I hope not. I've been lowering your dosage. Are you in pain?”

“Mm. A little.”

“Do you want more medicine?”

“No. I'd like to think clearly.” Izaya puts his phone down. “I really don't remember it. I just...acted.”

“That's okay,” Shinra says. There's a beat of silence, and then, “You told me some...interesting things while you were doped up.”

“Ugh.” Izaya covers his eyes. “Were we alone?”

“Yeah. Yeah, Celty was in bed. It was just us.”

“Are we alone now?” Izaya asks, his voice muffled from his hands.

“Yes.”

“What did I say?”

Shinra laughs. “You said you didn't want to give Shizuo-kun another reason to hate you.”

“...is that all?” Izaya prompts.

“You might have mentioned loving him. Once or twice.”

“I changed my mind, I want more drugs,” Izaya says, and Shinra laughs again.

“It's okay. Really. I already kind of knew. You aren't as hard to read as you think you are,” Shinra says, and Izaya peeks up at him.

“I knew you knew.” Izaya groans and rubs his eyes. “It doesn't matter.”

“It matters,” Shinra says softly. “Loving someone always matters.”

“Oh, shut up,” Izaya says. “Anyway, can I go soon?”

“I want to keep you a little longer. Your wound is still bleeding a bit, and I can't let you go before I know for sure your stitches won't pop open. It'd be bad if your intestines started to escape, you know?”

“I imagine it wouldn't be good.”

“Have you thought of telling him?” Shinra asks. “Shizuo-kun, I mean. You could tell him.”

“And then what?” Izaya prompts. “He wouldn't believe me, and I wouldn't blame him. No, it's better he not know. I'm glad he wasn't in the room when I was out of it.”

Shinra sighs. “I wish he would have been.”

The day passes slowly. Izaya replies to messages on his phone, barks at Shinra for a charger when his phone starts to die. He and Shinra play cards, and Izaya's chest clenches when he thinks of how long it's been since he spent time with Shinra like this.

“You know, you can come over sometime,” Shinra says, clearly thinking the same. “I'd like that.”

“Your girlfriend hates me,” Izaya says.

“You think everyone hates you. You think it before they even know you. Besides, Celty is a forgiving angel. She doesn't hate anyone. Except, well, I guess she hates cops.”

When the sun starts to set, Shizuo comes back. Izaya pretends to be asleep, but Shizuo isn't having it. He shakes Izaya roughly until Izaya looks up at him through narrowed eyes.

“What?” Izaya asks, and Shizuo glares at him.

“Why'd you save my brother?”

“I told you, I don't know!” Izaya hisses, and he tries to roll away from Shizuo.

“Well, I decided I'm not leaving until you tell me!” Shizuo replies.

Izaya groans at the ceiling, and then he turns to Shizuo.

“You got me. I saved him so you'd owe me one. Now, I can ask you to do anything, and you have to do it.”

“Bullshit,” Shizuo says. “You think I don't know when you're lying? I can tell.”

“I don't know why,” Izaya says.

“Bullshit,” Shizuo says again.

“I don't know what you want me to say. You won't believe me no matter what my answer is.”

“You could try telling the truth. You know, for once.”

Izaya turns over and pulls his pillow over his head, refusing to answer. True to his word, Shizuo plops down into the chair Shinra was occupying earlier and refuses to leave.

“Are you staying for dinner?” Shinra asks a bit later.

“I guess,” Shizuo says.

“I always wanted us all to hang out!” Shinra says happily, and Shizuo and Izaya tell him to 'shut the fuck up' at the same time.

After dinner, and after Shinra offers to hand-feed Izaya for the tenth time, Shizuo winds up falling asleep on the chair, his arms crossed across his chest, his head lolling to the side. Even asleep, he looks irritated. It's not the first time Izaya's seen his sleeping face, but it's interesting nonetheless.

“I guess he's staying,” Shinra says, entering the room. He tosses a blanket over Shizuo. “I think this is progress.”

“He's just a stubborn monster,” Izaya mutters, and when Shinra leaves the room and turns the light out, Izaya is left listening to Shizuo's quiet breathing.

It's been a long time since Izaya slept in the same room as someone. He's used to his sisters falling asleep on him, and he's stayed with Shinra a few times, but this is something new. His worst enemy is unconscious next to him. Izaya knows he should be taking advantage of this, but he doesn't. He spends his time scrolling through his phone, and when he's bored of that, he watches Shizuo sleep. It's creepy, he knows it is. Izaya's always watched people because it's easier than interacting with them. Like this, it's almost like they could be friends, neither of them talking or arguing.

Shizuo twitches in his sleep and makes a noise, and Izaya tears his eyes away.

“I saved him for you,” Izaya whispers, knowing Shizuo won't hear him anyway. After a few minutes, Izaya sits up and carefully detaches himself from various wires. He can't stay here anymore, stitches be damned. He steps past Shizuo and pads down the hallway, collecting his things before he exits the apartment and arranges for someone to pick him up.

It's easier to be alone.

***

A week passes. Izaya works from his bed, relents to letting Shinra come give him checkups, and tortures Namie into bringing him things. By the end of the week, Namie is threatening to smother him with a pillow, which is actually pretty tame for her. Izaya isn't too worried about it. He knows she carries a paralyzing serum with her, after all. The fact she hasn't used it yet means she doesn't hate him too much.

She tells him she's leaving for the day, and he grunts at her, his eyes glued to the screen of his tablet. He's reading about Kasuka's latest gig, silently appraising the raise of security around Kasuka since the incident. Izaya's sisters have since cursed him, saying they'll never get through all the people around Kasuka now. Kasuka recently sent Izaya a fruit basket, and Izaya considers calling to Namie to bring him a pear, but he thinks better of it. She's pretty pissed at him already.

Next thing he knows, someone is in the doorway of his bedroom, loudly crunching on an apple.

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya says, setting the tablet down.

“That lady let me in,” Shizuo says as he strides across the room. “Did Kasuka send you this? The arrangement looked expensive.”

“He did. I don't suppose I could convince you to bring me a pear?” Izaya asks.

“I'll bring you one if you answer my questions honestly,” Shizuo says.

“Still caught up on that, huh? I've already said all there is to say.”

“Your loss, I guess,” Shizuo says with a shrug. “I'll start eating the pears next.”

“I hate you,” Izaya hisses. He crosses his arms and grumbles. “I wish I'd let your brother get stabbed instead.”

“Yeah, well. You didn't.”

“I should have. I wanted to.”

“Did you? Want to?”

Izaya exhales loudly and dramatically. “No. You wouldn't have let my sisters get stabbed. It's the same.”

“Yeah, but... It's not the same,” Shizuo says. “Kasuka is a grown man, and he's supposed to have guards on him. He's supposed to have people. Your sisters don't have anyone but you, and sometimes you're...”

“Inadequate?” Izaya asks.

“One person,” Shizuo corrects. “You're one person, and they escape where you can watch.”

“Dota-chin helps them, too. A lot of people do. I appreciate it, even if I don't say so.” Izaya groans and rubs at his wound under his shirt.

“Does it still hurt?” Shizuo asks.

“Yes. It's not too bad, though.”

“Shinra told me he took a knife for you once. It was crazy. I was pissed at him because I thought, if someone had just killed you then, I wouldn't have had to meet you at all.”

“I might have died,” Izaya says. “Nakura-kun hated me. He might have aimed somewhere more lethal the second time.”

“You didn't care though, did you? You wouldn't have cared if he wanted to kill you. You never cared when I wanted to,” Shizuo says.

“Who can say?” Izaya asks, and then he smiles. “I might have cared a little.”

“I don't want to hate you anymore,” Shizuo says. “You saved Kasuka. No matter what your reasons were, you saved him. And even before... Before, I was thinking I didn't want to hate you. It just seems like if we stay this way...”

“We'll die?” Izaya asks. Shizuo nods.

“I don't want to kill you, and I don't want you to kill me. I don't want to explain to your sisters that I murdered you.”

“So then, what do you propose?” Izaya asks.

“A truce? We can... I guess we don't have to be friends, but we could try not to kill each other. How's that?” Shizuo asks.

“That's fine. Whatever.” Izaya stretches, and then he pouts at Shizuo. “Now can you bring me a pear?”

“Brat,” Shizuo says, but he does just that.

They spend hours together. Izaya has a TV in his room for just this occasion, him getting injured and being bed-bound. Shizuo likes trash TV as it turns out, and Izaya delights in making fun of him for it. By the time Izaya's eyes are drooping, Shizuo is already hunched over, resting his head on Izaya's bed.

“You can stay. If you want.” Izaya wants to rest his hand on Shizuo's head, but he resists. “It's pretty late.”

“Yeah. I will, then,” Shizuo says, and Izaya expects Shizuo to either go down to the couch, or to the guest bedroom, but instead, Shizuo is climbing in bed next to Izaya and settling in.

“I hope your monster scent washes out with regular detergent,” Izaya mutters, hating the way his heart soars and then pounds in his ears at Shizuo's close proximity.

“Oh, fuck you,” Shizuo says, but he doesn't sound mad.

They're quiet for a while, and Izaya thinks maybe Shizuo has fallen asleep, but then Shizuo laughs softly in the darkness of the room.

“What is it?” Izaya asks.

“Just this. Us. If we tried to talk sooner, maybe we could've avoided a lot of things.”

“You wouldn't have listened. I wouldn't have listened either,” Izaya says.

“I know. It had to be this way.” Shizuo hums, and then he moves closer, tossing an arm over Izaya, who tenses up at the contact. “Is this okay?”

“Okay?”

“It doesn't hurt?”

“Oh. No, I mean, it's fine. This is fine.”

Shizuo laughs, moving closer. He inhales Izaya's hair, nuzzles into it.

“For a smart guy, you're an idiot, you know?”

“How so?” Izaya asks, bristling.

“You just are. You're easy to read.”

“I am not!”

“Mm.” Shizuo pulls Izaya closer, and Izaya wills himself to calm down or die, either would be fine at this point. “Tell me, why'd you save my brother?”

“Because I wanted to,” Izaya says, finding there is truth in that answer.

“Okay,” Shizuo murmurs. “That's good enough for me.”

Shizuo's lips press to Izaya's, and Izaya gasps softly, his hands on Shizuo's shoulders.

“I already know why, anyway,” Shizuo says, and Izaya pulls him into another kiss before they can argue.

[sunlitmisfit]

I posted 550 times in 2021

13 posts created (2%)

537 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 41.3 posts.

I added 31 tags in 2021

#random tag - 6 posts

#b99 - 4 posts

#self depreciating humor - 4 posts

#poetry stuff - 3 posts

#brooklyn nine nine - 3 posts

#random text post - 3 posts

#rosa diaz - 2 posts

#writing - 2 posts

#art - 2 posts

#harry ron hermione - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 127 characters

#i want more of harry learning pranks from sirius and james to play on lily and remus already warning her so her reaction is meh

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

and one of these days, I'll give you a whole day. I'll give you a whole day and I'll let myself drown in all the plenty memories I have of yours. I'll give you a whole day and remember our past. I'll give you a whole day and wonder where it went all wrong. I'll give you a whole day and admire life's control on us, how she can make anything happen to her will, how she can break up far away apart. I'll give you a whole day and think back to how my heart used to beat for you. I'll give you a whole day and at night, I'll say goodbye, because we never even got to do that. my heart remembers you like the back of my hand, and I think it always will. it apparently forgets plenty of things but you, never. one of these days, I'll give you a day and think of how your smile was the first ever smile that made my heart skip a beat. how your eyes connected with mine and somewhere I could hear an electricity buzz happening. they connected with you today. and I still heard the buzz. but I looked away. because now that buzz is not welcome. because now you're far away from me. I saw you today and my heart pinched me. I saw you today, and I wished to hear your voice just once again, but this time, it wasn't to hear my name in your voice, it was to hear a goodbye. I saw you today and I thought, one of these days, I'll give you a whole day.

4 notes • Posted 2021-10-26 19:27:15 GMT

#4

when you get this, please reply five things that make you happy and send this to the last ten people in your notifications 💜

hey, thanks for asking me this question! ^^

five things that make me happy, mmhm. Imma go with the simplest answer I can think of. warning - it's big.

1. My Brother

My lil brother makes me so happy. Spending time with him doing crazy nonsense, dancing and jumping around, me playing with his hair and cheeks, me booping his nose or punching him on the arm, us beating each other up for fun, him torturing me with his lamest jokes of the world, me interrupting his video games for giving him a hug, him interrupting my shows and classes to give me a hug, us eating junk food together like crazy starved animals and basically us knowing that we have each other, a different and yet slightly similar version of ourselves. He makes me very happy, and even if I miss the younger version of him (who was the cutest child this world has ever had), I love who he is now.

2. My Playlists

So um, recently, I kinda went playlist crazy. I made sooo many playlists in Hindi and English both. And well, I love 'em. They're perfect and I have something for every mood now. I'm yet to make more (it's just so fun :p) but all that I've got till now resonate with me and well, nobody needs explaining why songs make you happy. (If you want the playlists, just say the word.)

3. My Friends

Last couple months or so, I have been troubling these 5 particular people more than ever. My individual friendships with each of them became so much better throughout this time and I'm just so happy to have them. Talking to them everyday and listening to their voices makes me so happy. I know this may have sounded silly but these are friends that have sticked with me while a couple of others unexpectedly left off. That's why I value my present friends more than ever. That, and the fact that one, they're so awesome that you can't put it in words and two, they bear the crazy mess I am. (s,s,r,a,a xoxo)

4. My Diary

This, omg this point. I started writing a diary this year. And yes, I agree that it can be a little asking if you're too busy in your schedule. But it's sooo worth it. I love my diary and I love the fact that I've stayed consistent with it. (I write on alternate days mostly.) There are always things that you cannot speak with people, that are just yours but you still need to talk about them or at least vent them. The diary enters the play there, playing the role of the perfect listener and secret keeper.

5. Little Sounds Of Life

Okay, hear me out. I study nearby a garden and well, all day I'm listening to birds and squirrels. It's so calm there that I can even hear the wind and watch the trees in the pretty garden dancing. These sounds mostly go unnoticed by me (studying, bruh) but when I sit to just listen to them, it grounds me, and makes me happier to be in that moment than you could imagine. The sounds of birds and squirrels, along with the sounds of people moving by and being, and well, the present moment, where everything is here, and everyone is okay, and you're breathing. You're alive, and you're living.

So yes, these are the five things that make me happy everyday. I am super grateful to have them and everything else that I got. 🌻

If anyone wants to add to this, go ahead! This is an open tag and I'd love to read your responses.

@reticencing I wanna read your answer, too!

4 notes • Posted 2021-03-08 02:19:13 GMT

#3

if there was any way to snort music, I’d be high almost always

5 notes • Posted 2021-04-03 09:30:45 GMT

#2

a friend of mine shot this video yesterday, of this transition from blue to black clouds and idk I found it so soothing, pretty and poetic that I asked him if I could post it here and here we are.

you know how they say that there's beauty in sadness, and that the journey matters? we can see that here.

6 notes • Posted 2021-05-18 03:08:53 GMT

#1

who here has seen taylor’s documentary on netflix? I just saw it and I’m moved. her songs are way more than just music now. and I just, I had goosebumps and tears all along the watch. someone relate please.

15 notes • Posted 2021-05-31 17:05:23 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[5soslgbt]

Could you do a thing where you're friends with one of the boys and you're questioning your sexuality and you think you're bi and he helps you talk about it. Idk I've never really seen anything like that! Thank you! ❤️

You’ve always been so sure about who you were, but something lately had felt different. You’d never really questioned your sexuality but lately you had felt completely different about yourself. It was a good feeling, but you had no idea what to do.

Your roommate and best friend Calum was the one person you knew you wanted to tell. He was one of the smartest and most non-judgmental people you knew. You could tell him anything in confidence that he wouldn’t say anything to anyone else.

You knocked on Calum’s door to his room, after a few seconds Calum sleepily replied, “Come in!” 

You went in and saw Calum still lying down in his bed. He sat up and smiled, his hair was a mess and his eyes were red. He had clearly just woke up. 

“I hope I didn’t wake you up,” You said quietly as you sat down on his bed. Calum smiled and shook his head, “It’s fine. I was already up, just lying down on my phone.”

You nodded but became silent again. You weren’t really sure what you were going to say or how to say it.

“Is everything okay?” Calum asked as he scooted over and invited you to lie down next to him.

“Yeah… I just need some … advice?” You said, not really sure exactly what you wanted to call it.

“Sure, yeah, what’s up?” Calum smiled, turning onto his side so he was facing you. 

You sighed, “I think… I’m bisexual? I don’t know. I have crushes on girls, have all my life, but I just now really feel like I can finally say it to myself… if that makes sense.”

Calum nodded, listening to you, “You can label yourself however you want to, y’know? Questioning your sexuality isn’t something to be ashamed of, and a lot of people go through it.”

“Yeah, that’s true. It’s just confusing. I used to feel like I knew myself and was comfortable with myself and now I just feel… weird? I feel like I am confused all the time, and I think that’s probably because I’ve been pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind all my life,” You ramble a little before smiling at your best friend.

“Honestly, when I was younger I felt the same way. When I came to terms with being gay, it was a scary and a weird feeling. I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t tell anyone for years,” Calum said.

“Yeah… and look at you now, you’re proud of who you are,” You said, which caused him to chuckle. 

“Yeah, I really am. You will be too, in time. It’s just a time thing. Everyone’s different and has a different pace,” He said seriously.

“I’m just worried because…  a lot of people think that bisexuals aren’t real? Or that I’m just gay or whatever, and that pisses me off. I know what I like, so I don’t want anyone questioning that for me,” You say.

Calum rolls his eyes, “That’s because they’re dumbasses. Anyone who says that shit is uneducated and wrong. Bisexuality is just as real as any other sexuality. Sure, you’ll encounter people who believe differently, but you don’t have to listen to them. You know who you are, Y/N.”

“Yeah, you’re right…” You say, smiling up at Calum, “Thanks.”

“Anytime, you know you can always come to me about this kind of thing. About anything, okay?” Calum said as he booped your nose lovingly. 

“I know, thanks Cal,” You smile as you pull him into a hug.

hope this is what you were looking for! i love this idea and i agree there isnt a lot of it out there :) -Ash

5soslgbt blurb day, send requests and tag us in your blurbs! :)