#is this a review or is it just the incoherent ramblings of a madwoman??

[artichoke-that-hoe]

Full Avengers Infinity War Review (Broken down into spoiler free, mildly spoilerish, and extremely spoiltt[after the page break dw] sections)

Spoiler-Free:

Initial thoughts: what. the absolute. fuck. How can one movie tear my soul apart like this?? And the end credit scene?? Holy shit so many mixed emotions I’m having trouble processing this holy shit what the fuck

After calming down slightly: there has been a clear change in the tone of marvel movies as they moved from their angsty teen goth phase to their wine aunt I don’t give a fuck phase. I went into this film thinking the tonal shift between comic relief characters and more angsty characters would have been harsh and abrasive but for the most part it was actually very smooth, it gave us a more complex look at otherwise two dimensional characters and added a bit of lightness to an otherwise heavy film

The back and forth between different groups of characters till their inevitable union at the end was smooth and kept the plot moving forward at a reasonable pace

The pace was actually so fast, but not an unfollowable fast, it felt as if the movie somehow morphed time in our world, what felt like half an hour to me was actually the entire duration of the movie

And holy shit the lighting!! The cinematography!! The CGI!! It wasn’t dark and hardly viewable even on the big screen! There were so many beautifully lit scenes(albeit there were some murky dark scenes that reminded me of the old avanegers movies) they really took a page out of Thor Ragnorak and Black Panthers book because the fight scenes (of which there were many) were so incredible and dramatic and full of emotion!

But honestly, so much of it was shocking and unexpected that there were moments where it didn’t feel even remotely real in the out-of-body experience type of way.

Mildly spoilerish but no real details:

The trailer actually threw us some curve balls. I generally avoid trailers because I believe they give away too much but the few stills that I did see were actually very misleading and as I’m writing this I’m thinking that they might actually be hints to the events of Avengers 4????

There was so much loss, with such a huge cast and such a daunting and powerful villain (that was teased for like 13 movies) it was completely inevitable but each loss hit so hard it’s hard to process it. And there are characters that we still don’t know the fate of and it’s killing me that I have to wait an entire year for the next part.

Related side note: you know the Russo brothers are sick of mcu’s bullshit when a character literally says “no resurrection this time” after a death jfc I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time

FULL SPOILERS LIKE IM GONNA GO INTO SPECIFIC EVENTS OF THE MOVIE(be warned I get incoherent bc I’m still so emotional):

Holy. Shit. Literally wide cut to the opening scene where thanos has literally murdered HALF OF ASGARD and in the first five minutes he’s murdered Loki (see: above reference to no resurrection) and heimdall (there goes MatPats theory about the soul stone) I’ve never had a movie shake me to my core this quickly. Before heimdall dies he uses his final moments to send hulk back to earth where he spends the rest of the movie as banner bc hulk is throwing a teenage temper tantrum and banner has erectile dishulktion like bitch get your shit together when did hulk become poorly timed comic relief.

Skipping forward a bit because I’m not gonna recap the entire movie; when the guardians find Thor in the wreckage of the asgardian ship it was honestly the best thing ever. Drac literally describes Thor as a cross between an angel and a pirate all while fat shaming quill oh my god it was amazing and I’m so incredibly sad we lost him

SPEAKING OF HEARTBREAKING DEATHS PETER PARKER YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!

The way he clings to tony at the end and just keeps saying he doesn’t want to go oh my god that absolutely broke me

And then there were the simpler deaths like Bucky who just says “Steve” EHICH IM PRETTY SURE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME HE SAYS STEVE SINCE BECOMING THE WINTERSOLDIER HOLY SHIT MY EMOTIONS

Holy shit I can’t explain in words to you the emotions I felt when t’challa reaches for Okoye and says “this is no place to die” then his hand just crumbles away along with the rest of him and the rest of my heart (SIDE NOTE BLACK PANTHER DID SO WELL IN THE BOX OFFICE HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA KILL OFF THE LEAD?? DOES THIS MEAN NO BLACK PANTHER 2??)

and dear god help me the end credit scene how the hell are you gonna kill off Maria Hill and Nick Fury in the fucking END CREDITS???

There was literally a collective gasp in my theatre as Fury started fading away

Buttt the captain marvel reference at the very end!!! Our girl carol danvers is gonna be in the next avengers!! (We need her they killed off so many female characters lord give me strength to overcome this adversity in the face of lack of diversity)

OkAy coming back from all the death let’s talk about the fact that throughout the film Thor calls Rocket “rabbit” and never once gets corrected??? It was honestly one of my favourite things

And Thor trying to relate to Gamoras fucked up family by telling her about his and quill getting jealous it was so cute I loved their dynamic.

Vision and Wanda’s relationship felt so natural, their chemistry was fucking fantastic and their final scene together where Wanda gave in to the inevitable and had to destroy the mind stone and vision along with it holy shit that entire scene was so incredibly heart breaking with the way vision kept saying it’s alright over and over again till his final moments. They had a chance to be a normal couple living happily in Scotland away from everything, they could had had it all and it was torn from them so savagely.

And as I’m writing this I’m realizing that none of this makes sense. How could they kill off half the cast especially so many fan favourites and so many characters whose contracts don’t expire anytime soon?? So on tooo:

Theories:

Okay so why would doctor strange give thanos the time stone in exchange for Tony’s life? Why would he give up the thing that he has sworn his life to protecting and essentially sentence billions of beings to save the life of one that was not guaranteed to survive? None of that makes sense unless the one out of 14 million alternate futures he saw involved all of this happening and then somehow being reversed??

At the end of the movie we see a burnt out gauntlet implying that it can no longer be used but what if the individual stones can still be used? What if they’re still able to turn back time and bring back those they’ve lost?

This theories got a bunch of holes and it definitely wouldn’t make sense to bring back the entire roster but after a quick google search Holland, Pratt and the rest of the guardians, Boseman, and Cumberbatch all have marvel movies coming out in the next few years so really nothing is real death is a lie and I feel nothing 🙃 .