#is there like. a certain name for getting nasty w a tank. Idk

[kriminalistic]

another doodle >:3

[rustybutterknife]

Yo can I get some Beetlejuice headcannon. Just like, some weird shit idk. Anything. I just like reading headcannons xD

Of course!

His eyes glow reflect light (like a raccoon)

So when he goes into Lydia’s room at night (to wake her up to get up to no good) she wakes up and just sees two glowing yellow eyes looking down at her

Needless to say she screamed and punched him straight in the nose

She turns on the light and sees BJ fall straight on his ass, holding his nose as it’s bleeding

It was a fun story to tell at breakfast the next day

Also explains why BJ’s covered in blood

He chews on EVERYTHING to keep his fangs in check

(Also it’s a good stim)

The Deetz’s were tired of finding bite marks on places they weren’t supposed to be (specifically their shoes) so they buy him teething toys that are meant for babies, but he like em.

His favorite one is a necklace with these chunky black silicone pearls

He likes it because after a while of chewing, the pearls become softer

His favorite stims are flapping his hands, this one where he holds his hands and twists his arms and holds it to his face while rocking side to side, and going as fast as he can on a spinny chair. (Charles has one in his office, he’ll let BJ use it when he’s upset or he just has a lot of extra energy he needs to burn off)

He also really likes pressure stims, so he’ll sometimes get the Maitlands or Lydia to sit on his back

They found out you can make him shut up and calm down this way when he was being a chaotic little shit and Lydia told him to stop or else

“Or else what!?”

“Or else… I’ll… I’ll… I’ll sit on you!”

“Oh yeah!? I’d like to see you t-!”

And just like that he’s on the floor and Lydia’s on his back

He goes quiet for a minute while Lydia teases him before she goes

“Did I just find your off switch?”

The Maitlands catch on to it

You’ll sometimes see them having late movie nights and they’re all sitting on top of BJ

They’re all fairly light so he can handle it

He’s a pretty grimy nasty boy and he likes it that way (also it helps with dysphoria)

So when the Maitlands tell him he needs to shower if he wants to join them on the bed

He has a fit

It takes 2 hours before they can come to the agreement that he’ll shower, as long as the Maitlands join in too

Especially since they haven’t showered since they died so it seemed like a good idea

He’s kinda hesitant to undress because he’s self conscious of his top surgery scars and because he’s a little on the chunky side

They coax him into it with praise and kisses

The Deetz’s shower is pretty big thanks to renovations, so they can all fit

The water turns a gross murky greyish-brown when BJ steps in

It takes a good half hour of constantly washing him before he’s fully clean

They used up about half of the Shampoo bottle and ⅔ of the body wash

Sorry Charles

They also borrowed some of Charles’ clothes so BJ could have something to wear

Sorry Charles pt. 2: electric boogaloo

He’s a lot more pink and his hair is a lot softer (head and body)

Suddenly there’s knocking on the door

“Hey, Delia, how much longer are you gonna be in there?”

Ohshit.jpeg

They all quickly wrap up in clean towels and Adam opens the door a crack so only his head is poking out

“Hey Lydia, it’s me, sorry… uh… what do you need?”

“Oh! Sorry, I just needed to grab my hair bru- Is that Bj and Barbra in there?”

Barbra and Adam turn bright red while BJ has a shit eating grin spread across his face.

“You know what, I don’t even wanna know. Can I just get my brush? It’s in the top drawer on the right.”

Barbra nods and shyly passes her the hair brush.

“Shit, Bj, you’re really pink!”

“Please just leave so we can get dressed!”

“Alright, you got it dudes.”

They don’t talk about that incident.

They do keep BJ from being a stinky bastard

He and Charles try to bond

Bj has a hard time remembering his name (Chuckles. Charlie. And once, Gabriel.)

They bond over going to the grocery store together.

The Maitlands can’t go, so it’s just BJ and the Deetz’s.

He’s able to pass off as their chaotic college aged son

He likes to stick his head out the window during car rides

They sometimes have to keep BJ at home if they wanna go to certain stores because he’s gotten himself banned from them

He’s gotten banned from a grocery store because he’s pulled an Eddie Brock and climbed into the lobster tank

The only stores he behaves at are Lydia’s favorite places

La michoacana, the mall, and the corner store

He likes the “breather snacks” at the corner store

He’s pretty old and has a pretty busy schedule of being a bio exorcist so he hasn’t gotten around to trying foods from the 21st century

So one day Lydia buys a whole bunch of snacks she thinks BJ would like and they have a little taste test party

She also snuck a couple of snacks just to see his reaction (warheads, takis, xxtra flamin hot Cheetos)

When he tried warheads, he just went “oh, this is pretty ni-“ then immediately scrunched up his face. Think of the meme with the cat and the banana.

Lydia almost had an asthma attack from laughing so hard.

He will eat anything you give him, no matter what.

Some of the things he’s eaten are a 5 pound gummy bear (in one sitting), a bath bomb, chocolate laxatives, straight up hot sauce, and shaving cream

He’s a slut for lil Debbie snacks

He also really loves hot Cheetos and mazapán

Lydia once bought him a full pack of mazapán and it was gone within 3 days

Also once, while sleep deprived and talking to the Maitlands, she referred to him as “Beechito” (which, for those of you who don’t know, adding -ito to the end of a name is a masculine term of endearment.)

Adam and Barbra quickly catch onto it and Beetlejuice has to ask why the Maitlands keep calling him “beejeetoh” (they have the white accent)

Lydia shyly explains and he’s the embodiment of the ;w; emoji

SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG I HAD A LOT OF FUN-