#is there like a fun tag for people who work in education or LIS...........

[loserabby]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚. 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 ᵎᵎ here is where i'd go on a ramble, which is pretty fun cause ya girl does like to yap [ border credit ]

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ . ** MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, THIS IS AN 18+ BLOGI DO NOT GIVE ANYBODY PERMISSION TO REUPLOAD OR PLAGARISE MY WORK. IF YOU SEE SOMETHING I'VE WRITTEN ANYWHERE ELSE OTHER THAN HERE OR MY A03, PLEASE LET ME KNOW VIA ASK **

triggers mentioned : child abuse, incest, neglect

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 | ** DO NOT INTERACT **

this blog contains 18+ content but even if it didn't, i am over the age of twenty-five and do not feel comfortable interacting with anyone below the age of 18. i block minors, blank blogs and blogs without ages in their bios! this is quite common practice in the community, and for good reason, so i hope you understand. due to the nature of this blog and the content i write, discuss and even reblog, i cannot allow minors to interact with me (following, liking, etc). i am an adult woman writing and reading porn on the internet and i don't feel comfortable with children reading my content. please respect this. if you add your age to your bio and you're over 18, message me on my fic-rec blog and i'll unblock you. if i find out someone has lied to me about their age, i will name and shame.

𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 |

i do not see myself writing rpf (real people fiction) at any point in the future or at this current point in time, i much prefer writing fics for actual characters. i may occasionally reblog a rpf fic on my fic rec blog however. my triggers include but are not limited to: incest, child abuse and neglect. i may occasionally mention themes of these (child abuse and neglect) in my fics but passingly, but would appreciate any mutuals tagging them, as i would. thank you.

𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 |

while i currently don't have plans to write any dark fics, i do enjoy and engage with dark romance as a genre both in fanfics and trad-pub books. any posts containing to this will be tagged as dark!fic and any fics i may write in the future will be tagged appropriately. however please remember that i am not responsible for the entertainment you consume, please ensure you read the tags and warnings before engaging with fics.

𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐂𝐇 |

i don't tolerate any kind of hate speech or ignorance on my blog or my dashboard (anti-lgbtq, xenophobia, racism, etc) and will name+shame/block anyone who makes such remarks. i want this blog to be a safe space not only for me but anyone else. i will ignore any asks that are bigoted in any way so don't expect to bait me for a reaction. that being said, i am white and afab, so if i ever say anything or repost anything that is offensive please send me a message letting me know and i will educate myself better.

𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 |

i am autistic, sometimes i get overwhelmed and sometimes i might sound rude or a joke might not land. apologising in advance cause i don't really mean it to be rude, i just don't know how to communicate the way neurotypicals do (which is funny considering up until last year i was considered one of them) i do have a varied attention span (mainly fixating on one thing at a time) but my askbox is always open if you have any requests or ideas you'd like me to expand upon. i can't guarantee requests will be fulfilled because sometimes i can't vibe with something, but i'll always let ppl know when that happens. also!! tumblr has a tendancy to eat asks for me so thats a likely answer, just resend if its been a while oops kinda sporadic in posting fics, especially since i'm just getting back into it and trying to branch out into diff fandoms. i don't have a taglist and likely wont ever just bc i tend to be a bit forgetful, but i do timezone reblogs.

[serene-sky-kid]

This is not an ask. it's a use anytime anywhere ticket for when you feel about talking about something but need a reason to talk about it. Let those idea into the world we wish to know

So what if I talk about my OCs' skills?

Honestly, everything I talk about in asks is still under construction, so I'll probably make a tag like "outdate" or something like that to mark the things that have changed haha

Anyway, this is going to be a long one.

Not all of my skykids have some kind of special ability, some are just skykids with the basic knowledge of using light that every skykid has. Others don't have powers but they do have great talent in some specific area. So I'll put it all in this post for whoever is interested, get ready to meet my mary sues and gary stus

Ok, let's start with Reah, who doesn't have powers, but before her arms merged with her wings, she was a very good warrior, probably the one with the best hand-to-hand fighting skills out of all my OCs. She lost those abilities after what happened since she had to relearn how to use her arms, so although she is still quite dangerous armed or unarmed, it is not the same as before.

oh! Reah is immune to spores and toxins from dark plants, I don't even know why.

Next is Hearth, of the trio, he was the best at flying or rather, he had strong wings, he could fly against the wind without being carried away by it, now his wings are weakened by the flowers and he can't go very far without exhausting his light quickly.

He also has a good memory, for what interests him, he doesn't really need the journal he gave to Serene because he remembers most of what is in it.

Icarus is the strongest when it comes to using light, even though he has a sword, I would say that his ability lies more in distance. When he was young he was a bit inexperienced, now he is quite experienced and good at it. (and soon I'd say she'll be even stronger)

Serene is as expected, a healer, she's supposed to be able to use music at some point to slowly heal living things affected by darkness (animals and plants). I guess sound is something tied to light, it's something that's part of the other, so I've partially figured out how that's going to work.

Fun fact, Serene knows how to pick locks.

Orion is the least I've thought of. I know he's a good flyer, but I also know he has some kind of ability, which was the reason Icarus adopted him in the first place. Icarus, Fiora, and Orion all share something in common, so all three have abilities with the same origin, but probably focused on different things.

Berk has tremendous strength and endurance but that's obvious, as far as we know he doesn't have any kind of ability with light.

He understands on a contextual level what the creatures of light say, so it's not unusual to find him chatting with the bird that always sits on his head, it seems to be something he was born with. He's a good chef, if he doesn't forget that he left the stove on.

Altair doesn't have any remarkable skills, I'd say he's the most average of all, I'd say he's good at flying, but his sister was better than him in that sense. His persistence and ability to keep a cool head in crucial moments are what have brought him to where he is. I think that all in all he's a good leader too, as hard to believe as it may seem.

Eko doesn't have any physical or light abilities, in fact she's a skykid who was born shorter than average, I think that even when she reaches adulthood she'll still be very short, I think that's why she's also a bit more fragile.

But! Eko is a genius! She learns very quickly and has a hunger for knowledge that literally puts her in danger. Even with her angry cat character that will end up taking her far and being of great help in the end.

Fiora is a melee warrior, who uses weapons made of light, she has a pretty good technique since she has been educated since she was little, she knows how to lead large groups of people but at a very technical level, she has 0 social skills in reality.

Ziv has skills but all of them are suppressed by the crown they wears on their head, honestly it's better this way, that crown is really protecting them.

With the crown they really doesn't have any skills other than the knowledge they possesses, I think they has an innate talent to always get what they wants from others.

Relm is perhaps one of my strongest characters. Like Icarus they are a light user, but the origin of their skills and their power are totally different from each other. I would say that their origin is closer to Serene's skills than to Icarus's.

But Relm is not a healer, all of their skills serve to harm others. The good thing is that they are a pacifist, most of the time.

Part of their abilities go hand in hand with the butterflies that always fly around them. These butterflies can change shape and they are not actually real butterflies, but a part of Relm's light. they can change their shape at will, the fact that they are butterflies most of the time is just for the aesthetics 

And Kallie, well Kallie, you already know what abilities she has, you don't have to think about it too much.

Thanks for this ask it was very helpful!

[dei-lab-assistant]

I don’t have interest in drawing. By the time I was ten years old, I was already starting to do bits of recreational writing, but found drawing frustrating. Over the years, I tried my hand at drawing a few more times, got books from the library, put pencil to paper, followed tutorials—but it wasn’t fun, it wasn’t satisfying, and it certainly didn’t create results remotely resembling what I wanted.

There are some kids who doodle on everything from a young age, but I wasn’t one of them. Despite my parents encouraging drawing, even including basic drawing instruction as part of my homeschool education, it never clicked for me. Maybe it’s because I struggle with remembering people’s faces, maybe it’s because I fundamentally don’t understand color theory the way many people do (I had to memorize which clothing items matched or clashed with other clothing items but have been tested and am NOT color blind), or maybe I’m simply too fundamentally lazy to find it in my heart to pursue the visual arts.

I liked writing—cadence, flavor, clarity—writing was easier. As mentioned prior, I started writing at age ten, having realized it was the lazy man’s way to draw. If I could string together the right series of words, you would construct the image in your own brain.

Drawing was magic. Everyone prefers books with pictures. I loved the play of light and shadow in paintings, the soft inner glow of refraction in gemstones pictured in masterpieces predating my birth by centuries. But maybe, if I could figure out the correct way to sequence words on the page, I could trick the reader into experiencing a facsimile of the true thing. That’s right, ten year old me viewed writing as a hack to imitate the visual arts.

To this day, I still view pictures as close to magic. Writing is nothing more than a refined form of talking, and almost everyone can speak without formal instruction. Drawing requires either talent combined with lots of practice and hard work, or little inherent talent and even more practice and hard work—all of it developing a skill more specialized and outside the norm than writing. Others inherently understand this; tell someone you can fill a page with text and you’ll get a nod of slight approval, tell someone you can cover a page with a drawing, and people express delight, then lament their own lack of ability to do the same.

Over the years, I continued to write, usually for no one other than myself. I think my writing has improved quite a bit since I was a child. On a technical level, my words dance across the page with excellence.

However, the world has taught me to crave recognition for my efforts. We live in a cult of creativity—it defines personhood, assigns value, and gives meaning. Interesting people are creative. Fun people are creative. Unique people are creative. All of us are to believe in our own special artistic talents, with valuable insights to share, and stories which only we can tell. I see the lies, I know they are untrue, and yet, after hearing a sentiment enough times, it is likely to at least partially absorb it.

I crave recognition. Each time I hesitantly share a fanfiction online, despite all sensible knowledge to the contrary, I hope for a deluge of reblogs, positive comments, maybe even the ultimate compliment—visible art created in response to my words. Each time, such a response fails to materialize. One might suppose I’ve moved past disappointment in an expected outcome, but no, it still stings when a month after posting a short piece I spent hours crafting, the post has 9 notes, and one of the notes is me reblogging it.

If my subconscious sense of value is tied to my ability to successfully create, of course it hurts to discover my value is 8 likes in a month. And then I see how many interactions others get writing the same character, using the same tags—if my story has fifty likes after a year, others will have double that after only a month. Comparison is the thief of joy, yet how can I not check my own level of success against others? What other metric can I use? How should I cope with the fact other people who appear to have less technical proficiency than me are far more capable of creating emotional resonance with the reader than I am? Perhaps I have something only I can say, possibly in a style unique to me, yet the world finds my work understandably beneath its notice.

And when I thought it couldn’t get any rougher on my ego, I started to get into Hermitcraft. It’s wonderful to see my favorite people on YouTube interacting with their fans. It’s great to see them enjoying the fanart created—some of them openly sharing it to a broader audience online, Doc using fanart for his thumbnails, or even just learning some of them save fanart to a file on their computer. Regular people, like me, receive praise from creatives they admire, a talented few even get hired to do work like thumbnails or character skins. It’s inspiring. It makes me want to create and share my own fan works, with hope it might someday be seen by the creator who inspired my labor of love. And then I remember how impossible that is for me as a writer compared to an artist.

Logistically, I understand the myriad reasons for this. It takes far longer to read a thousand word story than to look at a picture. There is often less ambiguity in a written work than an illustration. Minecraft YouTubers in a context like Hermitcraft or the Life series have no need for writers, as their work is visual and unscripted. The list goes on.

And yet it still mines into a vein of insecurity and unimportance, which says far more about my own doubts and unhealthy desire for recognition than society.

As I carefully order words, attempting to recreate the thoughts in my brain into a format others can access, I understand the futility and vanity of whispering into the void. While I know I should seek the approval and praise of a higher power than the public or minor celebrities, there is no mechanism to do so while living in this mortal plane. Yet here I am, dissatisfied.

[ladylilithprime]

A Bit Of A Fixer-Upper

Series: Fluffy Faerie Tales

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: past Charlie Bradbury/Gilda, pre-Sastimmy/Jamstiel (Jimmy Novak/Sam Winchester/Castiel)

Rating: General

Tags/Warnings: Half-Fae Sam Winchester, Jimmy and Castiel Are Twins, Selkie Jack Kline, Sam Winchester Is Jack Kline's Adopted Father, Political Ramifications Of Magical Revelation, Autistic Cas and Jimmy, Supportive Charlie Bradbury, Sam Winchester Is The Best Boss Ever

Summary: Charlie Bradbury was a fixer, the kind of person who stuck it out in bad situations with needy people and tried to make things better. It wasn't much surprise that she would end up working for a half-faerie cafe owner who was exactly the same.

For: @fluffyfebruary challenge!

Prompt: Day 15: Craft

Read on AO3

CHARLIE BRADBURY WAS a fixer. It was in her nature to see a problem, come up with a solution or six, and then try and fix things. It was why she had lied about her age and education in order to get a job to help pay for her mother's cancer treatments when she was fourteen. It was why she had stuck it out in IT for years despite being vastly overqualified due to her abilities as a hacker. It was why she had stuck it out with her ex-girlfriend until it became abundantly obvious that, despite how much fun they had, they had wanted different things, and also why their breakup had been amicable enough to remain on friendly terms. It was how and why, when her hacking had turned up trails of corruption and embezzlement by her boss, she had contacted her ex who had put Charlie in touch with her cousin and she had gotten Dick Roman fae-cursed and sent to jail.

And it was why, when she had realized that the faerie who went by Sam and was willing to trade his cursing services for three days of help in the cafe he owned was trying to run a cafe by himself while also taking care of a small child? She had quit her IT job that she honestly hated more than she let on and moved across the country to become the first full time human employee at Lighthouse CommodiTeas. The cafe was not especially different from working IT, really, aside from her efforts to make a truly excellent cup of coffee earning much more appreciation and the lack of fear from assholish or abusive customers who threatened to have her fired if they didn't get their way. Sam had one rule for his cafe's customers, posted in plain sight for all to see and heed: be polite or else . Any dispute between Charlie and a rude, entitled customer had Sam fully on her side with no uncertainty thanks to his ability to tell when someone was lying, and the starting salary was $25 an hour on top of full coverage health and dental insurance which was unheard of in food service jobs run by humans!

When she had asked Sam why, he had shrugged. "I'm over fourteen hundred years old and have had plenty of time to amass a small personal fortune which I don't actually need much of to live simply and comfortably here in the mortal world. I have the cafe mostly to provide an employment history and proof of domicile for my son's school and to give me something to do day to day that keeps me in touch with the mortal world and the times. Since I'm independently wealthy, don't bother drawing more than a nominal salary from the cafe earnings for myself, which leaves plenty to pay any employees I might acquire a perfectly livable wage for the area after purchasing ingredients and disposable stock like the custom cups and paper napkins. Paying you a livable wage reduces your stress from worrying how to afford things like rent, utilities, and food, which means you're more relaxed and able to work the hours you need while still getting the breaks you need to remain healthy and happy working here. Frankly, I thought the logic was obvious. It's bizarre that so many human employers don't see it that way."

It was hard to argue with that, as a couple customers who tried to berate Charlie for "laziness" when she was on break found out. He wasn't wrong, either, which tended to frustrate the real douchebags who were unfortunately still smart enough to escape before magic got involved. But Charlie had since learned that many of the small businesses on Seven Mile Island, especially in the borough of Avalon, followed that same salary practice. When she had mentioned that to Sam, he had smiled fondly and only said, "Imagine that."

Rowena MacLeod, the proprietor of The Kitchen Witch who, it turned out, was also an actual witch, was more forthcoming.

"Samuel is a more influential person on this community than he is quite willing to admit, and there is a remarkably large number of magicals here," she had told Charlie, sipping at the cup of tea Charlie had brought her from the cafe as a bribe for a chat. "Regardless of what he may believe his motives were for choosing to move here with his son and open the cafe, he is of the Fair Folk. Magic calls to magic, and for all his skill in battle magics his fundamental nature is remarkably... kind. The man wants to help people, but he doesn't think most humans will trust a faerie to help them outright. And, I'm sad to say, he is frequently correct."

It made sense, when Charlie thought about it. Sam was a fixer, like her, and with far more power than she had, but limited in how he could fix things by his own nature and the mistrust of the wider human populace still getting used to the idea that magicals existed alongside them. Charlie hadn't even been born when the Magical Revelation occurred, but learning about it in school had been a frustrating mix of religious fear mongering and nationalist propaganda. She had learned a lot more actual facts about it all from her various coworkers in IT, particularly Ian who had claimed to have hacked the Pentagon and found reports about a treaty made with the United Nations and the Grand Coven headed by...

Rowena had smiled at Charlie's very wide eyes, patted her on the hand, and gotten up to return to the open kitchen behind the bar. Reeling from her own realization, and just a little turned on, Charlie had decided then and there that she was going to do everything in her own limited human power to help her new boss and brother she never had fix as much of the world as came their way to be fixed.

Case in point: Cas and Jimmy Novak.

It wasn't that there was anything wrong with them. Frankly, they were more well-adjusted than some of Charlie's old coworkers had been. The codependency had been a little concerning at first, but it was understandable considering their history and the way they had both developed their coping strategies. It had actually taken the whole first week that the twins had been working at the cafe before Charlie had realized that Jimmy was also autistic, just better at masking than Cas was. That was also when she had realized that the pair really wanted to stay on and didn't know how to bring it up.

So she did it herself. She started by honestly telling them within Sam's hearing how much more smoothly things had been going with the both of them on staff with her and the boss, and how well they fit into the controlled chaos of the cafe. She complimented the cookies Cas had made - seriously, they were amazing - and theorized that if the cafe started selling them they'd bring in even more business, especially from people who'd been frustrated by the lack of food available before because Charlie couldn't bake to save her life and it wasn't safe for Sam to make the food and risk the magical backlash of a human eating faerie-made food in a faerie's domain. And she had casually mentioned that her apartment building in Ocean City had finally cleared out the apartment two doors down from her since the previous tenant had been arrested three weeks ago.

Sam wasn't the least bit surprised when she requested one of her paid time off days coinciding with Cas's first Thursday off so she could take him grocery shopping. Cas was surprised, and just a little wary, but Charlie was patient and persistent, and eventually he relaxed around her. It took some more careful questions amid her asking about his and Jimmy's respective sensory issues as related to food to learn about his stimming and the ring Jimmy wore, and why Jimmy was the one to wear the ring Cas used to stim.

It gave her an idea, piggybacked off of the project she had helped Jack with the previous December. There was a lot more effort involved, keeping the beads smooth and the various strips of leather soft while keeping the runes she consulted with Rowena on and carved into the surface clear. She worked on it secretly for a week and eventually brought it with her, wrapped in a scrap of leftover newspaper, to present to Cas on Monday morning. The look on his face when he saw the swirling blue and white lapis and shimmering black and gold obsidian beads knotted up in black leather cord and woven with the thicker black leather rune-carved bands was gratifyingly awed.

"It's not a replacement for your primary anchor," she assured them both. "The runic spell just bolsters calm; it doesn't suppress anxiety. I just figured maybe it could help when you have your respective days off. Just give it a try today while you're both here then see if it'll help tomorrow."

"And what do you want in exchange?" Cas whispered, running his fingers testingly over the beads.

"I," Charlie reminded him with a beaming smile, "am not a faerie."

[loversveil]

compilation of some of my  library displays ive made

[ID: a pinboard made for international womens’ day, with a variety of famous influential women authors arranged on the board. the “for $1 name a woman” meme is placed in the centre, and the text has been edited to say “for $1 name a woman author”. my students have been asked to match the names up with the authors, and they are failing miserably. they have labelled sappho as elizabeth bronte, and angie thomas as mary shelley. end ID]

[ID: a display made for national science week. many of the letters have been made into science themed objects, i.e: the “A” is a ruler, the “I” is a test tube, the “O” is a planet, and the word “science” is covered in green slime. end ID]

[ID: a display made for NAIDOC week (NAIDOC stands for National Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander Day Observation Committee). the Australian Aboriginal flag is hung in the centre, and the board has paper cutouts of eucalyptus leaves and stars scattered around. end ID]

[ID: a close up on the NAIDOC week board. a map of the australian state of victoria is shown, with the lands labelled with their tradtional owners shown, rather than the colonial names and borders. notable/populated cities are labelled externally with string, showing which Peoples land the city was erected on. end ID]

[ID: a close up on the NAIDOC week board. a small amount of common Woiwurrung vocabulary is shown, with pronunciation guides and translations. Woiwurrung is the language spoken by the indigenous peoples of Narrm (colonially known as melbourne) and its surrounding areas.

full text as follows:

Woiwurrung: (woy-WUH-rung) - The language spoken by the Wurunjderi people, the traditional owners of this land.

Wominjeka: (wommin-JI-ka) - Welcome

Twaganin: (TWUH-ga-NIN) - Farewell

Kirrip: (kir-rip) - Friend

Biik: (bEEk) - Country*

Darrang: (dar-RUNG) - Tree

Narrm: (nar-rm) - The land Melbourne is on

Winmali: (WIN-muh-li) - North

Gurrin: (Gooh-RRIN) - South

Galen bariem: (GAH-len BUH-rri-em) - East

Mumilam: (MOOH-mi-lum) - West

please not that I am not Indigenous, nor do I speak Woiwurrung. I transcribed the pronunciation of these words to the best of my ability from this video by Wurundjeri woman and Woiwurrung language expert Mandy Nicholson.

* Country is the term often used by Aboriginal peoples to describe the lands, waterways and seas to which they are connected. The term contains complex ideas about law, place, custom, language, spiritual belief, cultural practice, material sustenance, family and identity. Source link: AIATSIS

end ID.]

[ID: a pinboard display for valentines day that reads “blind date with a book”. the words are made of pink and red papercut letters, and the letter ‘O’s in the word book are frilly hearts. the display is surrounded by paper cut hearts. end ID.]

[ID: a lunar new year display, centred around a paper bunny. the board is covered in traditional chinese new year decorations, including hongbao and lucky tassels. various messages around the board wish students a happy new lunar year, such as 新年快樂 (chinese), happy new year (english), 새해 복 많이 받으세요 (korean), chúc mừng năm mới! (vietnamese), and Амар байна уу? (mongolian) as these are the some of the most prominent groups of students at this school that celebrate this holiday. end ID]

hope u enjoyed!! I change the displays every week or so, so theres about ~40 other themed displays ive done that i could post if anyones interested ^_^

[jaimebluesq]

Not tagged but gacked from @ibijau because I thought it would be fun.

Post the following:

top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular)

your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year

your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year

your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year

and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this (last) year!

top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular): So, in chronological order...

Reality is Overrated - NHS stuck in the 'perfect' dream world and Jin Zixun has to get him out

Another Man's Grief - after Jin Rusong's death, JGY lies in wait to find out the answer to his biggest question - who actually fathered his 'son'.

Lover, Please Stay - WangSang for the Mixtape exchange that turned out so well

Maybe if the Stars Align, Maybe if our Worlds Collide - NHS/Jinzhu smut but with tons of world-building that I might want to revisit

He's no Bully, He's my Friend - SangCheng but where JC is a dog and NHS is a homeless man on the streets who finds him, and they save each other along the way. This just gave me such warm fuzzied and I felt so proud with how I handled it.

your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year

After the Hallmark Movie Ends - SangCheng, JC and NHS have just been dumped by their significant others for small-town childhood sweethearts at Christmastime (sound familiar to anyone? lol) and meet over drinks at the airport while trying to get home.

Nie Sect Murder Tortoise-verse - There is one big fic "Tortoise Shells and Wedding Bells" that will be split into 2 fics (Part 1/Part 2) because another fic will take place in the middle of it time-wise - this one will involve... the Wen :D

A very kinky scenario featuring Nie Huaisang, a blindfolded and oblivious Jin Zixun, and an 'educational session' for soon-to-be bride Jiang Yanli.

A Peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey - I'm really crossing my fingers that I get this one completed, it's my "Jin Zixuan plans the Phoenix mountain hunt and accidentally changes everything" fic

your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year

I've been more open to taking chances with new ideas/pairings

I've been able to get myself to write regularly even when I'm not always in the mood

I've become a little more aware of when I'm doing certain things (like always talking about emotions in someone's eyes) and trying to see if there are other ways I can word them

your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year

I want to be more aware of when my Western/white POV might be inadvertently interfering with my portrayals of either ancient China or Chinese diaspora people in modern day AUs

I want to work on my art as well as my writing - am trying to get back into my acrylic painting and am using fandom as an excuse (will have 1 piece for the Reverse Big Bang and might have one or two more)

and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this (last) year!

I'm going to cheat and do 2 because one's comedic and the other is serious.

Serious (from "Another Man's Grief") - "Jin Guangyao would never, ever kill his own child for any reason... but then, Jin Rusong had never been his."

Comedic (from "A Well Intentioned Blocking") - “Because I can't make my own decisions.” -- Nie Mingjue waved over at Jin Zixun. “Apparently not.”

I will tag @fortune-maiden @pbaintthetb @dual-domination @artsy-alice @kaz3313

[curiouslilbird]

welcome!

My blog is somewhat like a library of various cool posts I’ve found over the years--find posts by opening the Read More link and tapping the links below. Items are in alphabetical order by type.  (I've tried to sort them as well as I can, but there's a lottttt of tags...my apologies to your scrolling fingers in advance!)

The Arts

Art / Painting / Sculpture / Digital Art

Books / Literature / Writing

Dance

Music

Musical / Musicals / Musical theater

Theater

Beautiful

Aesthetic (general tag)

Beautiful (general tag)

Cleancore

Flowers

Glass

Iridescent

Light

Nature (general tag)

Pretty (general tag)

Vaporwave

Water

Colors

(mostly for stimmy posts, but also for aesthetic as well)

Pink

Red

Orange

Yellow

Green

Blue

Indigo

Purple

Silver

Gold

Rose Gold

Brown

Black

Gray

White

Cute

Adorable

Adorbs

Animals (general tag)

Cats

Cute (general tag)

Dogs

Wholesome

Fandoms

Animal Crossing

Card Captor Sakura

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[yosukesgayboyfriend]

Jenny Nicholson and Racism

So Jenny Nicholson’s new Vampire Diaries video is making the rounds, and I saw some users in her tag saying that people only want to cancel her because she ships Reylo. I was gonna just mention to some friends what I remember happening with Jenny last year (EDIT: in 2020, to be clear), but I couldn’t find posts that focused on her. All I found were mentions of her as part of a bigger pattern, which is absolutely fair (racism isn’t just one person!), but I wanted something a bit more specific. 

I want to start this out by saying I used to really like her! Jenny is smart and charming, and her analyses are often pretty spot-on imo. As someone that majored in Film Studies, I liked her because her work seemed like stuff that would come from my courses. No clue on what her education or background is, but Jenny Nicholson clearly at least understands storytelling structure and how movies are made. Plus, she’s able to be brutal and funny at the same time, which isn’t exactly common, I feel like. That’s another reason why I’m posting this: I’m still disappointed that things went down this way!

Disclaimers: 

-this isn’t about cancelling Jenny or calling her A Racist or anything like that: it’s about documenting behavior that hurt people of color (particularly Black people).

-this post is not about whether Reylo as a ship is good or bad or whether Reylo shippers are good or bad for shipping it. 

-this post is long. I know it’ll look like a big anti-Jenny vendetta or something, but to be clear, the majority of this post is context + evidence of said context, just to show how much racism was going around. but people love receipts, or else i would have just put up a tl;dr.

-not all Reylos are white, and not all Reylos participated in harassing John Boyega.

-some of the pushback Reylos get is definitely rooted in misogyny. this post covers the pushback that is specifically about racist behavior.

-absolutely, under no circumstances, should anyone that reads this go after any of the users mentioned here. I don’t expect this post to get much attention because all this happened over a year ago, but this is for purposes of documenting and explaining. I’ve redacted the usernames of anyone that isn’t verified on Twitter. Do. Not. Go. After. Anyone.

the tl;dr: Jenny Nicholson repeated known lies about John Boyega harassing people and blocked people of color that tried to correct her. She doubled down by signal boosting a fandom study that considered PoC discussing racism the same as sexist, white supremacist segments of fandom. When that was pointed out, she continued blocking people of color.

The issue: John Boyega and Reylos.

I’m sure it’s no surprise that John Boyega was harassed pretty much constantly from the moment he showed up in Star Wars. The Fandom Menace (aka alt-right assholes in the Star Wars fandom) was responsible for a lot of it, especially at first. They’re the same people that harassed Kelly Marie Tran and Daisy Ridley off of social media, threw fits over The Last Jedi, and so on.

Reylos were also involved on and off with racism surrounding John Boyega. More on that as a whole here, better than I could put it.

In December 2019, Variety posted an interview with John Boyega. In it, the interviewer mentioned Kelly Marie Tran and how she left social media. Boyega’s response was not about Tran, but about social media and how he is impacted by it:

Interviewer: There’s a sort of double edged sword there. You can get really great engagement. But then there’s what happened with Kelly [Marie Tran] about the small subset people who are very vocal and very negative, and having to navigate that. John Boyega: Being in this position, you just understand the masses, how the masses think, you know. Through social media, we get to engage, we get to have fun. But at the same time, for those who are not mentally strong, you are weak to believe in every single thing that you read. That’s, you know, it is what it is. I don’t know, for me anyway, when I see that [backlash], I’m like, well, that’s actually not true. But no, it is actually not true. So it’s kind of like [shrugs] it is what it is. But to engage, to connect with the fans who otherwise wouldn’t get a day to day experience, especially during things like the press tour, and behind the scenes stuff, is always good.

In response, a rather big-name fan in Star Wars fandom, Lindsay Romain (who also is published at The Nerdist, Hypebeast, and other places), tweeted about it:

Frankly, I think Boyega’s response wasn’t worded clearly. He did tweet shortly afterward to reaffirm that his words were NOT about Kelly Marie Tran. It’s also worth mentioning that Romain quickly apologized for this take/misinformation after seeing how much harassment was sent Boyega’s way after this. However, this tweet is still important for what’s to come, especially because the apology and recant were spread widely among Star Wars fandom that was aware of this.

On December 31, 2019, John Boyega posted a video of him dancing at a party on Instagram. Somebody commented on the video:

My boy after realizing Kylo died so he can date Rey 

To which Boyega responded:

It’s not about who she kisses but who eventually lays the pipe. You are a genius.

That’s it. One joke.

A bit distasteful, sure. I didn’t think it was particularly funny, or something worth saying. It struck me as a typical straight-dude “hur hur boobs women” kind of comment. But it was one single joke.

And Reylos. went. ballistic.

I saw things like:

-someone claiming all men of color are trash (and making weird comments about John Boyega’s balls????)

-someone creating a fake Twitter with a stock photo of a Black woman specifically to call out John Boyega as “extremly disgusting and gross also fucking disrespectful" and claim he was jealous of adam driver (which was not a unique claim)

-someone saying that Rey is inseparable from Daisy Ridley, so any such comments are consequently disrespectful of his co-star

-someone calling John Boyega “one of the good ones,” which... do I really have to explain why calling a Black guy that is bad?

-people claiming that Boyega was objectifying Daisy Ridley, making up rumors that his role as Finn was reduced because he had attempted to hit on and harass Daisy Ridley on set

-someone wishing to shoot JJ Abrams and John Boyega

-someone photoshopping screenshots to make it look like Boyega was calling Reylos inbred

And plenty more. Boyega responded to some of the direct replies to him on Twitter, reminding people it’s a fictional franchise. He tweeted sarcastically about Star Wars romance, including 4 pictures of Kylo and Rey fighting (including the scene in TFA where Kylo tortures Rey). Basically, he seemed fed up with the harassment Reylos were sending him, so he clapped back. 

The harassment went on for weeks. Over one joke and a sarcastic tweet.

Here’s where Jenny Nicholson comes into all of this the first time: she tweeted about cast/crew disappointing her, which is totally fine. Thing is, Nicholson continued, saying that Boyega was only trying to deflect attention away from his misogynistic comments. Notably, she repeated that he called people inbred, which had been already admitted as false (and that fact was being spread around quickly). 

Nicholson also mentioned it on Tumblr, where she repeated the lie that Boyega called Kelly Marie Tran weak, even though Lindsey Romain had apologized several times on Twitter and elsewhere + retracted what she said, after Boyega had clarified what he had meant:

The post is now deleted, as best as I can tell. 

I think it’s important to note that Nicholson is mischaracterizing not only why people were upset about the response to Boyega, but also what happened with Chewbacca’s new actor (Joonas Suotamo) and the feminist fan (”K”) mentioned in this post. K had responded to a Tumblr post, agreeing that queer Reylos sometimes use their queerness to claim they can’t be discriminatory, almost always in response to discussion of racism. She joked that Reylo was straight culture. Reylos took that and started claiming that K was biphobic. K is bisexual herself. Sure, there’s such a thing as internalized biphobia, but cracking a joke and discussing issues within a specific group is not inherently biphobic, and for Nicholson to characterize that as sending biphobic harassment is.... well, it’s not a good look. When K tweeted what happened and asked why Jenny was calling her biphobic (which resulted in K getting biphobic harassment), Jenny blocked her.

Over the following week, Reylos continued to swarm Boyega’s mentions with harassment. Multiple Black Twitter users (and other users of color) critiqued what was going on, noting that the pile-on over a single joke seemed to be overreaction and that the lies that were being told about Boyega contributed to racist abuse. 

We could give the benefit of the doubt and say that Jenny hadn’t seen Lindsey’s apology even though it was spread around quite a bit. We could say the same for the photoshopped Boyega insults.

Thing is, Jenny blocked multiple PoC that tried to inform her about the fake posts, as well as PoC who tried to point out the racism going around. Keep in mind, this wasn’t about Reylo as a ship, but specifically about the way that Reylos in particular were behaving at this time. At the time, I figured she was blocking people who were a bit more hostile (like cursing or insults) or direct (even if they were right, like how this could be read), but I later found that Jenny blocked people for much more polite corrections and explanations.

Like here (their Twitter handle has changed. The block was mentioned in this Tumblr post). Or here. 

10 days in to all of this abuse, Boyega posted a video on Instagram of him laughing away and dancing away some of the abuse, including screenshots of some of the tweets he received. Those tweets were all public, but the video just made Reylos angrier, as Boyega did not black out the Twitter handles of the users he screenshotted. 

The responses to Boyega continued. People of color--primarily Black people, but not exclusively--continued to discuss how lying about Boyega, making up rumors, and continuing to harass him for weeks over a single comment contributed to a racist response, especially when other Star Wars stars had made iffy comments without being brigaded in this manner.

On January 15, 2020, Twitter user and data analyst InFormalMajesty posted an analysis of Star Wars fandom with regard to Reylo. Their conclusion: Reylos were targeted specifically to shame women for liking things. InFormalMajesty’s analysis took responses to Reylos and tweets about Reylo, breaking them down to illustrate why so much hate was levied at Reylo shippers and how this was specifically sexist and discriminatory, from the alt right to antis and so on.

Some of the tweets included in this analysis came from well-known alt-right fandom personalities, absolutely. Looking at the ways that ~The Fandom Menace~ targets minorities is probably pretty valuable so we can understand how hatred works in digital spaces and galvanizes enthusiast communities.

There was just one problem: good-faith criticism was considered abuse. Whether you ship Reylo or not, whether you find it problematic or not, there was a significant subset of fans that were pointing out the racist actions of Reylos as a whole during this time (as well as earlier), and those fans were labeled the same as the alt right. (Princess Weekes did a video about the analysis that looks at it better than I, as a non-black PoC, could not, but it focused a bit more on the overall experience Black people have in fandom, which the analysis framed as “antis,” than the specific actions I’m referring to. An important discussion to be had, absolutely. Watch the video sometime.)  

Pointing out racist actions and patterns of behavior is not the same thing as harassment or hatred. Black and brown people discussing their experiences in fandom and with Reylos is not and should not be compared to the alt right.

That analysis specifically included those discussions as part of harassment and hate. That analysis heavily implied that the only racism being levied at John Boyega was coming from The Fandom Menace, not from Reylos, even though this specific issue stemmed from Reylos harassing John Boyega for one joke, and later, expressions of frustration and disdain for Reylos due to that harassment.

To bring this back to Jenny Nicholson: Jenny shared that analysis on Twitter. Not just unquestioningly, but defending it, claiming that the majority of fanworks and good actions in fandom are done by Reylos. 

She also continued to block users that mentioned her spreading fake screenshots and misinformation (block mentioned here). Also mentioned here. And here. This (and the above examples) is primarily what I could find as evidence through a cursory Twitter search; it doesn’t include blocks that may have taken place on Tumblr or other platforms, and it’s not a deep dive to find instances where names were censored.

Criticism can be tough to take. For non-black PoC and for white people, anti-black work is hard to do considering how our society functions. It’s something we have to constantly be aware of and working on, no matter how smart or socially savvy we are. 

But that’s the thing: we have to keep working at it, not block people that point out problems. It’s disappointing to see someone who will even touch on racism, like in the Vampire Diaries video (from what I’ve heard), refuse to do that work.

EDIT Sept 1, 2023 - since Twitter pulled some shit and made a bunch of images from several years ago inaccessible, a good amount of the citations here are broken (I directly linked to screenshots). I'll update with archived links or reuploaded screenshots when I'm able to. I'll also include text for screen readers. Also, a couple of minor edits for clarity (e.g. rewording so it's clearer who pronouns refer to).

EDIT: May 28, 2024 - Here's another post about it:

It has some more info on some of Jenny's tweets and the photoshopped Boyega comments, for context, as well as some of her later behavior.

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 2

Oils

Cult girl socializes at the opera and receives an unexpected call. 

Note: I tagged this as “anti mlm” as in multi-level marketing and not men-loving-men. 

Trigger warnings: Discussions of cults and emotional manipulation

It wasn't until after the opera was over that people began to notice you may have had a little fun during intermission. Hannibal's hair wasn't in its usual perfect side part and his jacket was slightly wrinkled in places. You could cover most of his love bites with your stole, but nothing could hide that post-orgasm glow.

Most opera-goers stayed to socialize for hours after the show concluded, making an already long night even longer. It was like clubbing, but for rich old people.

"So you're the future Mrs. Hannibal Lecter?" A woman with silvery hair said. She dragged her husband into the conversation by the arm. "I've heard so much about you."

You were about to say something witty, but noticed the way she was looking at you. Scanning you up and down. Looking for anything out of place to grill you about.

"Only good things, I hope." Hannibal said in your silence. His voice was vaguely threatening. "She is a doctoral student, in her second year of her graduate studies in clinical psychology."

The husband, who, up to this point, hadn't spoken a word, perked up. "Is that right?"

You smiled, excited for the chance to talk about your passion. "Yes sir. I've still got quite a ways to go, but I love my work."

"You should be proud." The man praised, looking at Hannibal. "You've got yourself an ambitious wife."

"Oh, we're not married yet." You corrected.

"So when can we expect an invitation?" The woman asked.

"Six months from now, isn't it?" Hannibal answered. "Memorial day weekend. Then I'm taking her to Italy for a lengthy honeymoon."

The woman threw her head back and sighed. "That sounds heavenly."

"You young modern girls are always so intuitive." The man commented. "I'll bet you tricked him into marrying you."

You wanted to call this guy out for his sexist bullshit, but he wasn't far off. It was Hannibal who tricked you, though.

Technically, he proposed to you within the first six months. You just didn't know it. It took until shockingly recently to find out.

It was during a ballroom dancing lesson of all places. You were sweaty, but loved the feeling of your lover's hands gently guiding your movements. You stepped away from the lesson to get some water, and innocently asked when he would propose to you.

"I believe I already did." He said with enough conviction to blur the lines of seriousness and sarcasm.

"You pretended to." You corrected. "Remember? We were just pretending to be engaged for Anna's wedding."

"But it didn't end after the wedding, did it?" He observed. "You kept calling me your fiancé long after that weekend passed."

You paused, then threw your head back in exasperation. "Oh my god, Hannibal."

Hannibal laughed. "I told you. Someday it won't be a lie."

"You're a piece of shit, you know that?" You pressed your fingers to your temples. "So we've been engaged this whole time?"

"What can I say?" He said, gently. "I knew you were my one and only even then. It was just a matter of circumventing your inhibitions."

"I'm not complaining." You folded your arms. "But a little notice would have been nice."

"Well, if you insist." He laced his fingers between his own. "[F/N] [L/N]. Will you be my wife?"

Even though the question was truly just a formality, you were still as giddy as a schoolgirl to hear those words.

"Yes, Hannibal Lecter." You said, cheeks stinging from smiling so hard. "I will marry you."

Then you just went back to the dance lesson like nothing happened. It was shockingly in-character for both of you.

"No." You shook your head. "We killed someone together and took a blood oath to never separate."

The couple laughed. Hannibal looked down at you with pride.

“So [F/N].” The man said. “Have you given any thought to your doctoral dissertation?” 

“Oh, Charles.” The woman rolled her eyes. “I’m sure she didn’t come here to be grilled about her studies.” 

“No, it’s okay.” You smiled. As long as you were talking about school, you weren’t being interrogated about the thirty-year age gap between you and Hannibal. “I have been thinking about my dissertation. There are plenty of fascinating topics to choose from, but I can’t not write it about, well, the reason I began to study psychology in the first place.” 

“And that is?” The man raised an eyebrow.

“Cults.” You said, grinning ear to ear. “Understanding them, their leaders, their followers, why people join them. How they evolve and grow more insidious as time passes. What form they’re starting to take in the digital age.” 

“That is interesting.” The woman’s voice rose, connoting genuine engagement. “And what form are they taking in the digital age?” 

You looked up at Hannibal, as if to ask for permission. Permission to rip into her and burn that bridge for good. He answered in the affirmative. 

“Ma’am, could I take a look at your bracelet?” You asked, already knowing exactly what she would say. 

Her face lit up. “Oh, do you like it?”

She pulled it off her wrist and handed it to you. You brought it to your nose and took a whiff, confirming your theory. Then you handed it off to Hannibal, whose sense of smell was much more refined. He took one breath, then recoiled. 

Hannibal covered his mouth and nose with his hand and coughed. “That is... quite strong, Mrs. DeMarco.” 

“It’s Affirm, by doTERRA.” She revealed, her voice growing defensive. “It helps you ground yourself and remember your worth.” 

You handed the bracelet back to her. “Do you sell doTERRA, Mrs. DeMarco?” 

“Well, now that you mention it...” A small smile appeared on her lips. “Why? Would you like to buy some?” 

“I hate to be the one to tell you this, ma’am, but...” You lied. “You’re actually in a cult.” 

She had nothing to say to that. She just stared at you with her mouth agape, urging you to explain yourself. 

“Multilevel marketing companies employ a host of cult manipulation tactics to con people out of their savings.” You explained. “Just because the promise is financial independence instead of a spot in paradise, doesn’t mean it’s not a lie. Research conducted by the Federal Trade Commission shows that the vast majority of participants actually lose money. The statistics are just a google search away, yet thousands of people still insist on the legitimacy of the companies they sell for.” 

“Well, I-” She protested, but couldn’t find the words to defend herself. “I’m there for the community, really. For the first time in years, I have a sisterhood of like-minded women who love me!” 

You smiled through a cringe. “That’s another pretty common cult manipulation tactic. They appropriate familial language to make people feel more connected to the group than they really should be.” 

Although you didn’t expect her to, she looked to be genuinely considering it. 

“Next time you see your ‘sisters’,” You began. “Pay attention to how they talk about people who are not in the group. Or, better yet, tell them that you’re considering leaving. You’ll see how conditional their love is.” 

An awkward, deafening silence followed. The woman looked at her husband, as if willing him to do something. To stand up to the evil twenty-something grad student who had the audacity to cite her sources. 

Instead, the husband just burst out in riotous laughter. 

“Miriam!” He nearly shouted, heaving like he was about to collapse. “I told you that oil business was up to no good! No honest company makes their employees pay to work!” 

The woman’s face turned red. You almost felt bad for her. The feeling vanished when the man put his hand on your shoulder. 

“Seriously, Dr. Lecter, you’d better keep this one.” He said, wiping a tear from his eye. “She’s an absolute godsend.” 

“No divine intervention was involved whatsoever, Dr. DeMarco.” Hannibal smiled to himself and brought a glass of champagne to his lips. “She is a woman of her own making."

"Oh, we all know that's not entirely true." The woman snapped, slipping into passive-aggression. She glanced at Hannibal. "How much are you spending on this mouthy little know-it-all? Isn't it about $80k a year?"

You, of course, brought this on yourself. You threw down the gauntlet by going after this girlboss's side hustle, so now nothing was off-limits.

"I wouldn't worry about that, Mrs. DeMarco." Hannibal said, calmly. "My soon-to-be wife's education is a much better investment than that overpriced napalm you wear on your wrist."

You couldn't help but laugh at that. It was a laugh you shared with the man. Hannibal looked down at you, admiring how your face lit up.

"You'll forgive my wife's rudeness." The man requested. "Please, Ms. [F/N], tell me more about your dissertation."

"Well," you laced your fingers together. "I'm planning to write my dissertation on the cult of academic elitism."

"I would tread lightly, dear." The woman warned, eyes darting to Hannibal. "You wouldn't want to bite the hand that feeds you."

You adjusted your stole, giving them a quick glance at the love bites along your neck.

"I assure you." You said. "He quite likes it when I bite."

Your clutch started to aggressively, audibly vibrate. You could have sworn you'd put your phone on silent, but it buzzed nonetheless.

"Probably just, y'know-" you stuttered, embarrassed. "An amber alert or something."

"We are expecting a snowstorm, I believe. I was warned of it a few minutes ago." Hannibal said, always ready to cover your ass whenever needed. The couple nodded along in understanding.

You pulled your phone from your clutch. Your eyes widened and your face turned sickly pale at the sight of a caller you thought you’d never hear from again. Without thinking, you slid the deny icon across the screen. 

“Right.” You said, tucking your phone and your secrets back into the clutch. “Winter Storm... Theresa is headed this way.” 

Hannibal cleared his throat. “In that case, [F/N] and I must take our leave before we get snowed in. It was very nice catching up with you. I will see to it that [F/N] and I have you for dinner very soon.” 

[ladyaj-13]

WIP title game

@incognito-insomniac tagged me in the WIP titles game - thanks for the tag! Looks like fun :)

rules: post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it.

I'll tag back @hekate1308 @whilstiveputdownthisfic @runaway-train-works @unionjackpillow @haztobegood @jiksax @londonfoginacup @lululawrence @laynefaire @not-easy-being-green-124 and anyone else who wants to give it a go.

I've restricted myself just to documents I'm started or worked on in 2022 because otherwise this list would be half a mile long - it's pretty lengthy as it is... Most are 1D, a few are Endeavour, Kingsman, Merlin or Eagle of the Ninth.

Lilo E

Untitled Document (so creative!)

Find Me in the Shadows

Turns out? The Way to My Heart is

Baby

Nouis camping

In Shining Armour of Trackie and Trainers

N/Lou/Li

Untitled Document 2

Cat

Nouis 4

Kiss from a Rose

Bakery

Hartwin accent

N/Nick

Mesca farm

Rewriting the Melody

merthur bed share

Hartwin club

Pageant Material

Lilo gen

After the Night Before

Ten Steps to Wooing Liam Payne

tattoo

Nouis fake

Grouis band

Regency Larry

Disaster trio 5 - Stepping Out

The Benefits of Education

[mimibtsghost7]

Fuck you and all your little brain washed rats sending people hate because you cant take responsibility for your actions!! But go on stay silent like you always do, pretend its nothing of your business, keep being a fetishizing racist delulu like you love to be while pretending to be the best blog on tumblr!!!

NOT like anyone will see this but YOU will so LET’S GOOO!!!~~

TW: mental health and more (if you feel like this can trigger you, pls don’t read this, breathe in and out and listen to this HERE and remember I love you), loads of tea and Mimi NOT being a friendly and kind ghost. 

funny enough: 

I never pretended of said I was the best blog. But I guess the fact that you say it might be because you heard it frequently? Thanks for thinking so^^

I sent hate to no one and u r the one sending it to me rn ^^ In my whole 4 year journey on Tumblr I received a lot of love but also worse hate that you can imagine. Yes you are saying now you are receiving hate ... funny how it’s bad when It’s addressed to you but when it’s at me and my dear followers it is not. Still, I never told anyone to go hate on you. You were the idiot that tagged my old blog and as soon as my blog was gone pple searched me and found out you were the reason behind this. But as you keep hating on me. Let me tell you I am kind but don’t mistake that for me being a coward.

I am not into insulting others and I don’t care much if you insult me. BUT don’t YOU DARE touch my dear followers. Insulting ain’t hard. Let me try: The only rat here is you hiding in your hole as an anon. I went and compared your writing with this ask and previous hate asks. And it was you~ Good for you~ the sewers smell just like your filthy mouth spilling sh*t left and right. So on brand. However, I know who you are @hobisbeautifulass Hi ^^

Me racist? HAHAHAHAH you truly know NOTHING about me nor my ex-blog’s message. It was a place when you were welcomed no matter your skin color, religion, gender ... proof? well it got deleted thanks to you. but ask around this time and search for who reblogged my posts as they were always the top of the tags (even if I don’t trust how bad you are at research). I supported the BLM movement and still do and will always do but I did so veeery early without anyone telling me. Not for the notes but because of my humanity. I wished my dear followers’ happy holidays no matter their religions. And never cared about those things. Why judge someone on something based on religion or how they were born. As for the LGBTQ+ community, I was always and will always be there for love being love. I talked about mental health and opened venting nights. I helped left and right and when I was receiving hate because of people like you spitting lies about me. What did I do? Did I go online and called people bad? No. I looked back at myself and asked myself if I did anything wrong. I tried to educate myself and apologized sincerely when I had to. I read books and watched documentaries to learn how to become a better human. AND never repeated a mistake twice. You tend to forget that our cultures are different and sometimes you grow up to see some things as normal when they are not. This is not an excuse tho, so I always believed that I was lacking and if someone had something to say against me, there is a chance they are right and just in case I should reflect on myself. But for your case it was pure nonsense. ME? a stalker? how can I stalk when I have social anxiety and at that time couldn’t even leave my room? I am even afraid of taking public transportations and just the other days I was crying from joy when I took a taxi alone. they said I was in Japan stalking Jimin and Jungkook and took a pic when I was NEVER EVER was on that land. You put me on the same list as people who bought info about BTS’ flights to be on the same plane as them? I was stalked before and let me tell you it ain’t cute and fun. I am even scared of the idea of being followed. that’s why I never shared openly my age, country, or anything about me on my blog. that’s why I have no personal social media to this day and that’s why making my ex-blog was some sort of miracle in my life. 

Silent? yes I was silent when I received hate and didn’t even vent to my dear followers or pointed fingers. Why? because I thought as my day was hell I shouldn’t make anyone’s day worse. I was worried about my dear followers with mental illnesses being triggered. I tried to take my life so many times I lost count but I still came here and smiled. It was my safe place and you took it away. Yet, I should pity you? You hated on me first for no reason and you know it deep inside but right now you are trying to convince yourself that you are the angel and feel no guilt. Compared to you. I pointed fingers at no one and didn’t name you when my blog was gone. Why? because compared to you, I thought you will not be able to manage the hate and what was done .. I didn’t want you to suffer the same way I did when you are the one who made me suffer the most the past couple of days. But the kind Mimi is someone you will never remember because you dared touch the friends I love and calling them names. I don’t mind people insulting me but don’t you dare touch my people. I know myself best. My dear friends/followers know me best. I thought ... I could leave without this mess but you keep barking in my ask box and it’s annoying. I left this backup account just to talk to my friends and yet you are here to ruin things again? I should stop being kind to the ones who deserve non of it. I ignored you when I had so many followers and you went silent too because you were scared of me. But as soon as I lost my blog because of you, you went, edited and then reblogged that stalker post. How can I be a stalker? do you even know the definition of a stalker? do you even know shame? well .. I don’t think so.. you said it yourself. You are NOT ashamed (and you reblogged that so many time lol). 

Death threats? this is no competition but thanks to people like you I have been there and wish no one to be there not even you. The only difference is that you almost killed me for real. You were not the sole reason? Great job walking away from you beloved word: RESPONSIBILITY. And I didn’t get just anon hate, I got literal tagging by people like you, DMs, and people pointing guns at me. That’s why I didn’t mention you. I was worried about the one who took away what I worked for for 4 YEARS. I was more sad and concerned about the ARMY fandom here. Do you know how many rely on my updates? do you know how many people said I helped them? do you know any of that? do you think 200k people were “rats”? Do you think if I did and say wrong thing I will not be questioned by those people. I always told my dear followers: “friends, if I do or say anything wrong or share anything that hurts anyone please tell me. I am willing to learn from everyone.” But what did you know? what did you do? Well ..  guess you love notes? As the most notes you ever got and the most attention was when talking about me? 

Love how you talk about fetishing when my blog was what people call “family friendly”. I also like BTS. I love them for their music, talent, personalities and the happiness they give me. I also enjoy BTS’ bond and love their interactions. I posted content of all kinds of interactions JM X JK, JK X V, V X JIN, JIN X SG, SG X JH, JH X RM, RM X JM ... If you are calling this fetishing asian men just because I scream over BTS as a fan and love their bonb. Then aren’t you against the idea of being an ARMY? I was a clear OT7 and you were told that you weren’t right: 

 Then you answered this without even explaining the nonsense about me: 

idk .. I am trying to find sense in your nonsense so .. wait wait let me look at the definition of fetishism first. 

Fetishism /ˈfɛtɪʃɪz(ə)m/ noun: a form of sexual behavior in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.

Then .. judging from your URL alone hmmm ... cute. I won’t even talk about the SMUT you write that is full of kinks and fetishism. Well I have no problem with fan fiction but the irony you spit is out of this world.

Also, I made money out of mimibtsghost? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH no lil one. I worked day and night for FREE. At some point when BT21 just came out and there were no products on AMAZON or anywhere but S.Korea, someone reached out to me to offer 20% off or something for my dear followers. When they asked what I wanted I said what about international giveaways for my dear followers. Basically, made gifs, found content, updates, analysis, edits, and so on for free. Again, w-wait .. Aren’t you the one asking for commissions? Well .. It’s not wrong. But again THE irony. 

So, I went to see that post you made about me with “PROOF” and it was just another person who was salty as I got them blocked I can’t even recall who they were but oh well. Their arguments according to YOU and many should be taken as FACTS just because they said them?  You said HERE that your first comeback was MOST:7 that came in just last year (2020) SO what the hell do YOU know about what happened years before you came when all the proof you pointed at where baseless without any backing?

Let’s see this so wise person you used to delete my blog and what I have done ^^

The gifs: There is a story to this. The first week I came to Tumblr, It was my first time on this site and the first time I share anything. I shared some content and my analysis had a lot of notes for a small creator that started just a week ago. But I made a mistake, I found a gif and posted it while crediting the gif maker. At the time I had NO idea it was wrong. I logged off and after 5 hours I log in and there was a WAR for that ONE gif. The big blog had me blocked and her friend was telling me to take it off. As soon as the person told me I did IMMEDIATELY and apologized againa and again and told them to tell the original gif maker to deblock me as I want to apologize directly and that they can block me after that. They did and I apologized but they just kept insulting me. Of course it was MY mistake and that’s why I apologized. But for them. for a mere gif (yes I say a mere gif because I made so many gifs and they were used on all platforms but I never thought it was necessary to hate that much on someone like they did to me). That blog was big and had big blog mutuals. Thanks to that, I became someone you do NOT become mutuals with but block and never reblog content from. Without any big mutuals. Without any shoutouts. Only my love for BTS, my dear followers’ support and my hard work.. My blog, became bigger and FAST (I got 10k in less than 6 months after I started) and that brought loads of jealousy and thus more rumors. Even if, I apologized and since then made my own gifs. And I made SO many gifsets that I can’t remember how many there were. What I can recall is at some point I made them daily and many times a day.

Ships Jikook? I posted content of ALL the members interactions. I was here at a time where Jikook stans and Taekook stans where always fighting. BUT I posted about both and even made so many posts to encourage loving all the members and all the interactions. I also used the tags solely used for shipping with other big tags to show that BTS’ interactions are all important and their bond is beutiful. That our fandom shouldn’t hate on a member just because they are not part of a ship we like. And wait .. even if I shipped Jikook? I got called ALL those names by someone who ship the members with readers and write sexual scenes? Like, wait ... I am truly confused. Like, write fanfic and do all you want as long as you hurt no one I guess but why am I getting hurt for doing non of it? Like according to you, the person you should be cancelling is yourself?! I am also not into cancel culture like you so hahah whatever.

Posted stalker pics: well wow the story changes each time. Next thing you will hear that I was the one holding a camera for a member in a Vlive lol. Let me teach you about this update thing I was doing. I follow accounts I trust and that’s how we get info circulating fast. I always do reasearch but sometimes mistakes are made. For example when lately people shared pictures of BTS leaving their virtual concerts and schedules. There was a watermark of a news outlet. Normally we trust those but only later we realized that those people stalked BTS. You clearly can’t know it all. But I still didn’t share many pics related to many events (I will not name those as pple can search them even now because some pple never deleted those). And all big accounts shared many pics then deleted later. This happens all the time but it happened like ONCE for me. However, I am called a stalker for that? 

When Jonghyun passed away ... I don’t even wanna recall that night as the memories just ... when that happened I posted about it and send my condolescences. that post had over 10k notes and was at the top the tag. Why did I do that? I was devastated. Yes, many were but I will talk about me rn: I was suicidal the days before that and one of the songs that I listened to when I was broken where by him. I has been in the kpop world since 2006. And learned about his group since their debut with ‘Replay’. I was never a stan but I still knew of many groups and listened to all the songs I liked. I was very sad when he was gone and ANGRY mostly. Why is this angel leaving? Why is someone like me still here? Why did I not leave instead of him? How much did he suffer? And in the midst I posted a post from twitter that stated how agencies usually put down pple with mental illiness and hide it in the industry. Yes, that was important but NOT at that time. I shouldn’t have posted that and I realized after 5 min of doing so that it was WRONG. So I deleted it FAST but it kept being reblogged and I kept getting hate and people telling me: “Go kill yourself”... the sad part is that I almost did as my answer was “true ... why am I still here?” I apologized and logged off then to this day won’t forget crying at 3 AM while walking outside next to my dad. I was outside as I couldn’t breathe anymore and the idea of seeing the walls of my room was hell. I cried and cried and the teary eyes that my father looked at me with are something I am ashamed of to this day. To add one more thing while I am spilling the beans. I hate learning about someone dying. My grandma passed away sometime before that and it was so shocking to me. and some people came and told me when I was mourning her: Go follow that bitch of grandmother of yours. And for what? At that moment I didn’t think I would live to see the next year but I went to therapy and took medecine that was hurting and made me shake all day just to turn somewhat sane. No one knew tho ... I smiled all day and cried all night.. Even on the blog I fought no one of the ones who hated me. I just blocked them but even that was an insult to them?

Again, you said no one should defend me. Yet, you were ready to fight whoever touched anyone around you. What about changing your URL to beautifulassirony

Also THE hypocrisy. If you are sorry then why are you answering an ask of someone isulting someone you want to apologize to? Just make a post wher you apologize or ignore it from the start?

One more thing but surely not the last. You said you were good with research which you are NOT. So, let me show you what an OG detective ARMY can do. But first, as I was scrolling I saw some of your “work” (let’s not even talk about those gifs) and I am just giving my point of view here: I hate how you painted Namjoon as this horny-idiotic-make-dog. Like I get it it’s a fanfic or Namjoon as a dad but ... Namjoon is such a smart man who is very respectful and ofc he is a human with needs like many but what the hell is this way of portraying a character? Also a character is not cool, amazing, and a strong woman just because they curse and belittle their partner. 

Oh well, only you kept reblogging that as it show 36 reblogs when only 33 as still there when I looked and out of those 13 reblogs are yours? (you might have reblogged it more) but again some people might have liked ... people have different taste ... so ... whatever. 

Let’s continue, shall we ^^. You said you were the victim here when I was the one getting robbed right? How can I believe someone who reblogged the post below and was proud calling themselves an abomination or how the Oxford dictionary defines it:  a thing that causes disgust or loathing. For once you weren’t wrong.

What can you expect from someone who has the “I am not like others” kinda mentality while stating relatable things that everyone goes through?

This is getting pretty long. So to sum this up. You are now telling others that hate is NOt ok and that they should be ashamed of themselves when you yourself is not ashamed of hating on me?

I am not the type that sends anon hate. I might ignore some barking but the past days you came and bite me hard. I face the ones I have to face without fear. I know I am not the bad guy here and I don’t care much what you think about me. Even BTS got haters. This says a lot. BUT do NOT dare talk badely of my dear friends/followers. You said you do research well? Start by deleting the post below that was originally by ME from your blog ... oh how meticulous you are. From your baseless receipts to your twisted logic. Indeed people on the internet can say anything and it will be FACTS. You painted me as the devil and painted yourself as this researcher? What’s next you receiving a Phd in ‘pity me’ after your MBA in lies and irony? Whatever~ 

Whaaatever~ Karma will have upcoming talks with you. No need for you to apologize. I never cared about you and you only got attention using me. But I am not here anymore how will you get that blog running now? Are you gonna add me in a fanfic next? No need for you to send me my appearance fee when you do so~ And no need for you to apologize to me just apologize to you conscience if you have any left.  As for me @hobisbeautifulass​ you are just someone I will forget soon anyway~~ 

And because according to what you said HERE when you described the things you hate about people and I thought that was VERY close to how you treated me. Thus, you might really not stand yourself rn.

Do.Not.Worry. BTS are starting the Love Myself campaign again and just in time for you to jump in (you are good at jumping to conclusions about me so I won’t worry about you). I know you don’t like me or my friends but be sure to love yourself at least ^^ 

You are a Hobi stan? Then learn from Hobi to share some sunshine not bring the storm. Have a good day~

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

[emeraldbabygirl]

Hanbin was accused, Hanbin was cleared

Wonho was accused, Wonho was cleared

Woojin was accused. Woojin is cleared

Illhoon was accused. I believe Illhoon too will be cleared.

I can finally speak out on of the things that has been bothering me since the news broke out. At the time it was very scary and stressful as we were dealing with the wildfires in our state at the same time so I was already having a hard time. Woojin was my bias and I never believed he would do something like that. I know everyone says to believe the victim but innocent until proven guilty is still valid and victims lie, it happens often and we all know how fans and antis get sometimes, just like Wonho and Hanbin people will do anything to throw idols under the bus.

The scariest thing for me to see was how quick everyone was in defending Hanbin and Wonho and how quick the same people threw Woojin away, immediately spreading hate and sending death threat and calling him fake and all these names and just obnoxious behaiver. I understand we were all upset but you can’t just believe someone right away with no evidence and so many holes in their story. And sometimes it’s best to wait it out and then make a decision.

It wasn’t just Woojin that was caught up in the whirlwind, Jungwoo, Chanwoo, Hongjoong, Seonghwa and a few more that I can’t remember were also names thrown out from so many people. Their biggest thing was when they claimed he was a member from the big three, had a w and two o’s in his name. This is not a good statement because for one thing Woojin left Stray Kids and JYP so not only was he out of the big 3 but he’s not the only one with those letters in his name. Jungwoo and Chanwoo are also under the big three and have a w and two o’s in their names.

Back when it was so big on Twitter the Jungwoo tags were all stating that Woojin was innocent but the Stray Kids tags were saying he was guilty. Even the supposed person themselves posted one last tweet before delete the account stating it was all fake but no one took that screenshot so people were led to believe it was all fake

And then on the bullying, I’ve seen a lot of videos saying ‘this idol bullying this group’ or ‘this group bullying this member for 8 minutes’ and multiple videos being taken out of context and people claiming that since Woojin doesn’t speak a lot in some videos it’s proof he doesn’t get along and the member don’t like him. Y’all that’s not how things work. Just because you aren’t fully engaged in an activity or if you aren’t getting along doesn’t make you a bully or a bad person, Woojin was going through his own shit and idols lives are hard enough, if they feel out of it sometimes it’s not okay for us to immediately accuse them of such things like ‘they don’t like their members, they don’t get along, they are bullies.’

Idols live together and are around each other often so what you might see as “bullying” might just be them goofing off I mean ffs there is a video titled ‘ATEEZ bullying Seonghwa’ and y’all fine with that because they are only goofing around and teasing each other but you automatically assume from any footage or out of context video of Woojin playing with and teasing the members that he’s a bully. Why are you putting double standards on this? Bullying is a very serious accusation and rumors and spreading false information or any information with no evidence can ruin an idols careers. Tara and Co-Ed School unfortunately we’re big examples of this. The Tara bullying scandal ruined those girls and all the rumors and accusations caused Co-Ed School to disband before anyone could say everything was false. You have to be careful with what you say and what you hear and see cause if it’s not true and everyone believes it is you ruined a whole idols career before it can even be fixed.

Ok so, yes I know everyone says “the victim is always right” and it’s okay if you want to believe that but remember there are two sides to every story and both parties are valid until further evidence or actual evidence and you are able to prove whether or not something actually happened. I had some other things to say but I’ll let those slide and it doesn’t matter not because Woojin is innocent and it’s great news. I’m so relieved because he was my bias and I was so heartbroken when he left and when I heard about the trouble he was going through. I was so afraid to even say Woojin because everyone was censering it, acting like it was a bad name and that’s not fair on Woojin himself and it’s also not fair on the other idols named Woojin because there are at least 5 Woojins so for people to be doing that is like, you’re invalidating the other Woojin’s just because you think one Woojin is bad. Seeing people tag Woojin like w***** or w**jin and woojail and tw woojin is really upsetting and that’s not okay, that’s like bullying, calling him woojail is not okay at all. Pretending his name is a trigger when it’s not and if his name was a trigger than all the idols named Woojin would have that and censoring his name, again you’re invalidating all the other woojins. And everyone that says “ot8 or get the fuck out” or “if you still support Woojin fuck off” like..he’s literally fucking innocent. It was a bunch of Brazilian antis that started all the lies and rumors and after all the stories that don’t make sense and people still think he’s guilty and they are still sending him hate and being absolute assholes towards him. If you don’t want to believe that he’s innocent, if you don’t want to like him fine. Don’t talk about him don’t make a bunch of woojail posts, don’t send him hate or death threats because you’re 1. Making things worse and 2. Care enough about him to make his life miserable which is exactly what antis do and what those antis did. It pisses me off and upsets me how fast everyone just turned on him and they continue to bully him and send him unnecessary hate. Also it’s ok to tag Stray kids and Woojin because he was a member of Stray Kids so don’t give people shit for tagging Stray Kids.

So I’m gonna end this posts educating y’all about the multiple Woojins and it’s okay to say and spell Woojin you guys. It’s alright, you won’t get in trouble. So Woojin, my boy who I miss so so much Kim Woojin who was in Stray Kids, there’s my Thot Woojin from Target, an amazing rapper btw, I do believe there is a Woojin in AB6IX and of course there is the hot Woojin from My.st who just has this whole vibe to him that is dead sexy. Also the Woojin from Teenteen/Ghost9 and also also your gurl found a sexy man, despite me not being into body builders, I found a man on Insta named Kim Woojin and he is definitely a fucking snaCC. So thanks and enjoy the Woojins. I can get back to making my memes again. I’m just sad that I believed and jumped to conclusions and deleted some Woojin posts. But I stopped myself before I deleted all of them

ALSO ALSO recently it’s been pointed out how did Woojin has been and someone described it as what Jonghyun looked like before he left us. Woojin is my boy and I’ve been worrying about him ever since he left Stray Kids and I swear on god Hui and my camera roll if he hurts himself in any way or we lose another wonderful person I will blame Bangchan. I will blame Felix, I will blame JYP and I will blame everyone that started the rumors, the lies, the people that sent Woojin mean messages, death threats, bullying him because you don’t need to like an idol no matter what they do but bullying them and sending unnecessary hate to them is not ok no matter what they did. Even if it’s bad just ignore it because you sending them mean comments doesn’t make you any better. I was already pissed off at fans and everyone else and Bangchan and Felix for all the mean comments and everything else they were doing and I’ll be even more pissed off if this whole situation was too much for him on top of his depression and he ended his life.

Ok you know what, I’m so fucking pissed off over these posts I’m seeing on tumblr and I’m upset and I’m still having thoughts on whether or not I should post this but you know what. I don’t care. It’s my blog, it’s my opinion and it’s my feelings that I need to get off my chest. Kim Woojin is innocent and if I get any hate of any kind my stomach will do flips but y’all should know better especially if you don’t agree with me so have fun I guess I’ll probably delete or block you so I don’t have to hear your meany-ness. It’s my opinion, my post and my blog and if you don’t like it then I have nothing to say to you.

[halcyonhopes]

hey, isn’t that DAPHNE GREENGRASS? i read a daily prophet article on them, once ; the TWENTY-FOUR year old pure blood WITCH is a SLYTHERIN alumnus who has gone on to be a HEALER. i’ve heard they can be quite DECISIVE & SOPHISTICATED, but i don’t know… they came off very MICROMANAGING & WITHDRAWN in that interview. it really is hard to know what to believe these days though, isn’t it?

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introducing, daphne....

the first born daughter usually helmed a lot of responsibilities, met certain expectations, and had about a hundred and one opportunities thrown for her to catch to figure out which one she would grasp. as such was the specific upbringing that the eldest greengrass daughter had, what with their family’s influence and endless coffers.

genuinely thinking that she was brought into the world to live up to her parents’ expectations, daphne took everything her parents would thrust onto her in stride. 

smile, put your chin up, wear this, say this, don’t even try and read that ─ and there she was just nodding, nodding, nodding.

it wasn’t a surprise that she grew up being resentful, learned how to spin carefully articulated white lies, and kept a mountain of secrets she swore no one had the power to uncover.

the puppet strings that kept her upright went on until she left their family home to start her education in hogwarts. there, she welcomed what she already knew; that she didn’t need her parents’ assistance to figure out who she is and who she wants to be.

but of course it wasn’t easy. getting out of her shell took a lot of mental and emotional work. however, once she’s blossomed into her own self, everything came much easier.

one would think that because she grew up letting her parents speak over her that daphne didn’t know how to make her own decisions. in truth, it seems as though she already knew what she wanted to do even before anyone asks her. she’s suppressed her voice long enough and now that she doesn’t have to do so, there’s no stopping her.

yet she knows that so long as she’s got nothing to show for, her mother might subdue her to a life of catering to a husband and tending over children ( nothing wrong with that, it’s just not her style ).

so daphne worked hard on her grades. she knew she could use her academic success as something that will pull her out of her parents’ clutches. it helps that she’s always been the brainy sort and the magical sciences were easy for her to comprehend. while she was not at the very top, she was high enough and that was all that matters.

it was a childhood dream of hers to become a healer and every day where her studies are involved she’s worked her ass off to meet the marks for that profession. she was preparing herself for retaliation against her parents’ side but due to the war and the imminent need for rehabilitation, it wasn’t all too difficult getting them to accept the fact that she’s chosen for herself. it was the reluctant sort of acceptance, sure, but acceptance nevertheless. 

now, her relationship with her parents were civil at best but daphne will never forget her childhood trauma and the fact that she still carries the weight of their terrible parenting.

personality !

every task she’s managed to be great at were achieved with detailed steps and great precision. as such, anyone who does the same thing under her care must follow the same steps or else she fears the same standard won’t be achieved.

that is one of the many ways where her micromanaging tendencies manifest. she’s not prone to compromising; it’s either her way or no way at all.

she understands that this might mean not a lot of people will like her. it’s fine, she’s not the friendliest person anyway. if she needs to be amiable, she can craft the perfect fake smile and say whatever it is you want to hear. her parents taught her well.

if there’s anything that hasn’t changed about daphne, it would be the fact that she still values outward appearances and making sure that she’s always looking her most polished self. calm, collected, and classy. 

ice cold on the outside but on the inside, she just longs for warmth. nothing like the nurturing words of comfort and encouragement; of kindness that doesn’t ask for anything in return.

she does have a caring side. often times reserved for the people she treasures the most and in some unique way, shown to her patients. 

quick connections !

exes from school??? exes from a few years ago?? i know it doesn’t seem like she’s much fun but i promise she can be!

a best friend... a core group of friends... please just someone who understands her but likes her anyway !!

a childhood friend

a mentor

or alternatively, someone she can mentor !!

flings 

a friend from school she could’ve had a falling out with

this is all my pea brain can handle for now but i’m very much open to anything!!!

[navegandoaciegas]

the love you deserve.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (fem!reader)

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: “He’s Bucky Barnes, Captain America’s best friend. He was the guy at the Triskelion, they say he’s the one who killed JFK.”

Whoever this Bucky guy is, he’s not your Jaime, your Jaime could never harm a fly. Your Jaime is good, he’s compassionate. Surely your friend must be wrong.

Warnings: soft!bucky, asshole!reader, angst, fluff, lying, cheating, drug use, alcohol consumption (including mentions of underage drinking), language that Steve Rogers wouldn’t approve of.

A/N: AU where Civil War and Thanos never happen, Tony forgives Bucky and he retires.  Reader kind of ain’t shit in this one, you’ve been warned.

This is my very first attempt at writing in English, I’m not a native speaker, so forgive me for any mistakes :)

This is part 1, please reblog and let me know what you think of it :) feedback is always appreciated! I can tag you for part 2 if you’re interested, let me know.

Brooklyn, New York

Bucky smiles softly looking at the picture of you two on his lockscreen.

He’s had the Parker kid teach him how to use those damn devices just so he could look at your pretty face and talk to you while you’re not together.

Alpine is cuddled on the couch with him and he shoots you a good morning text like he does every day. You haven’t responded much since yesterday, but he doesn’t think much of it.

You’re at a bachelorette party with your best friends and he doesn’t want to be a bother.

Still, he can’t even begin to describe how much he misses you. It’s only been two days since you’ve left for Vegas but he feels his heart constrict in his chest because you’re not there, and he can’t hold you, cuddle you, whisper sweet nothings into your ear and make you giggle like a schoolgirl.

He can’t look at you with big, curious eyes while you do the pretty girl things you always do, like put on makeup or do face masks. He can’t brush your hair and rub your feet when you come home after wearing heels all day at work. He can’t cook your favorite comfort food as you rant about your job.

God, if his father saw him run to the store to grab you tampons and chocolate every time you get your period, what would he think? He barely suppresses a snort just thinking about the shocked and embarrassed look on his old man’s face after he accidentally overheard Becca tell her friend she’d gotten her period at 14.

He’s sure Mr. Barnes wouldn’t approve of Bucky’s behavior.

And surely HYDRA would punch the air if they saw their most prized possession paint his best girl’s feet in a pretty baby blue nail polish, because baby blue makes you happy, and if you’re happy then he’s happy too.

He’s such a sap, like Sam tells him.

He smiles like a lunatic at the thought of Zola having a stroke if he could see him all dolled up, hair braided and makeup done, just because his girl is bored and wants to practice her skills.

He’s fallen hard for you and he knows you love him.

Well, you love Jaime, as he goes by when he’s with you.

Would you love troubled, damaged Bucky too?

Las Vegas, Nevada

Your late 20s are a weird phase of your life.

Half of your friends are inviting you to their weddings and baby showers, some aren’t even done with school yet, and others can’t properly take care of a house plant on their own.

You belong to the latter category.

It’s Jade’s bachelorette party tonight, you’re in Vegas and you’ve drank more alcohol and done more drugs than you can handle.

And mixing those it’s a bad idea, but you can’t find it in yourself to care anymore.

Getting wasted in Vegas. It’s cliché really, but a it’s a fitting ending to Jade’s bachelorette years. You have always wanted to recreate The Hangover, minus the tiger and a couple other things, you suppose.  

It reminds you of the first time you two have popped a pill in the dingy restrooms of a club in Barceloneta. You weren’t 18 yet, but in those kind of clubs age really did not matter.

You were so out of it by the time whatever drug you took kicked in that some British girls you met that night had to drag both your asses to their apartment.

Those girls, Grace and Hannah, if it wasn’t for them you wouldn’t be alive today.

You’d fucked and drank your way through Europe. It was London first, but London was boring, then Barcelona and Rome; Jade loved southern men, and you loved the way Spanish and Italian people partied. From Rome to some random italian city in the south where you’d taken a ferry to Corfù.

By the time you got to Greece you were so high all the time you barely registered moving from island to island until it was time to catch a plane to Athens and then Budapest. And from Budapest to Berlin, and from Berlin back home.

It was the summer before college and you were celebrating the end of your high school career. It was a nice phase, admittedly. You were both cheerleaders, popular, pretty, smart. You’d gotten into the college of your dreams on a cheerleading scholarship, your parents were proud of you, life was good. That summer you didn’t have a single care in the world, except choosing the sorority you would join in when August came.

Ten years later, Jade is getting married.

Today, you found out your boyfriend is a conniving bitch and a lying asshole. Not to mention the one they call the Winter Soldier.

“Hi pretty girl, can I buy you a drink?”

It’s lame maybe, but you’re drunk out of your mind and he’s handsome.

Warm brown eyes look down at you.

They’re not like Jaime’s, his eyes are light blue, almost transparent.

His skin is dark and glistens in the lights of the club, nothing like Jaime’s fair completion and his rosy cheeks.

You can feel the drug induced euphoria wearing off and the slight tick of your jaw. You’re glad you’re wearing a bandana that covers the lower part of your face.

“Why don’t we get out of here?”

His smile is pretty like his face. His head is shaved. Jaime’s chestnut locks reach his jawline.

You nod your head.

When he talks he’s charming and sure of himself. Jaime was a stuttering mess the first time he spoke to you.

You think of nothing, you feel like nothing.

“Cum pretty girl, cum for me.” he grunts in your ear.

His voice is gruff and deep. Jaime’s voice is soft for a man so big.

You should feel guilty but you don’t.

How can you, when this feels so good?

Why would you? You’re not the one who lied in the first place, you’re not the one who hid their identity.

You’re spent and satisfied. In your drunken haze you barely register the man cleaning you up with a washcloth and leaving you in your hotel room with a kiss on your temple and a whispered thank you..

You should be ashamed of yourself but you’re not.

Because Jaime who brings you flowers on all of your dates, who opens the door for you, pulls the chair out the table, gives you his jacket when you’re shivering, that sweet Jaime doesn’t exist.

His name isn’t Jaime at all, it turns out.

It’s James “Bucky” Buchanan Barnes.

Morning comes and your head is pounding. You’re hugging the toilet while you throw up all you’ve got left inside of you while Grace holds your hair out of your face.

You never fucking listen, and that’s one of your biggest problems.

The second big problem you have, you never watch the news, and that’s shame.

If you did you might have seen the cool looking guy with the murder strut that beat the shit out of Captain America at the Triskelion.

Too bad you never bothered to educate yourself on what’s going on in the world.

If you did, you might not have ended up dating the Winter Soldier for five fucking months.

Morning comes and the sun shines through the curtains of this nice hotel Jade’s fiance has booked for the five of you. Raven snores softly on one of the beds, and you hear Hannah whisper to her girlfriend sweet nothings on the phone, and all you can think about is Jaime’s shy smile and soft eyes.

The way he hunches on himself to appear less threatening, the way he gives up his seat on the train to pregnant ladies and old people, the way he never fails to leave a generous tip to waiters and is polite to everyone.

Your phone lights up with a text message.

Good morning sweetheart, I hope you had fun with your girls last night. Having lunch with Alpine, we both miss you. I love you.

Your throat feels tight as you choke back a cry.

You never fucking think before you act, and that’s the biggest problem of them all.

You should regret it, and you do.

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

“It’s You”- Harry Styles One Shot

Request: I'm a sucker of the stories with the theme Best friends to lovers so a story were the protagonist is Harry's Best Friend way back before the X-Factor like they always had that chemistry between them that people that they don't know that are just friends think that they're together even Harry's girlfriends get jealous of their relationship that they always wanted to separate them with ultimatums or lies and gossip but he always choose her and eventually they get together.

**

Everyone always has those friends who have been in their lives for as long as they can remember. Sometimes they lose touch, or move on, but sometimes they’re closer than ever. Sometimes, neither one could ever picture a life without them in their lives. Luckily, your friendship with Harry, your best friend, was the latter. 

The two of you met on the first day of primary school, both of your parents had shown up to drop you off at the same time. You were nervous about leaving your mother, but you were also excited to meet new friends. When you had gotten to the school parking lot, you had notice a young boy about your age clingy onto his mother’s hand as they walked towards the school. 

He was sniffling a bit and hiding behind her leg mumbling about not wanting to go. You weren’t sure what came over you, but you let go of your mother’s hand to walk over to the boy and his mother. 

“Hi,” you said softly. “I’m Y/N. What’s your name?” 

The little boy looked at you before tucking his head back into his mother’s skirt. 

“Harry, why don’t you tell her your name,” his mother said softly. 

“You just did,” he mumbled. 

“Sorry, he’s a little nervous about his first day,” his mother told you. 

“Hey! It’s my first day too,” you smiled. “Do you want to be my friend? That way it won’t be so scary.” 

At the sound of being friends, the little boy stepped out from behind his mother and looked at you. 

“O-Okay,” he nodded. “I’m Harry.” 

You smiled walking over to him and taking his hand in yours, “Well, Harry we’re going to be best friends!” 

And just like that they two of you walked into the school building and the rest was history. 

**

Of course, there were times when you worried about your friendship with Harry, especially when he left to audition for the X Factor and technically never came back home. He had become one of the worlds biggest pop stars in the biggest band. Harry was traveling on tour to some of the most amazing cities, while you were back home finishing your education and achieving your own dreams. 

But nevertheless, you two stayed in touch. While you may not have spoken on the phone everyday, you two would text one another or send stupid videos or updates to check in with each other. You did have a rule that you would talk via the phone or video messaging at least once a week and for the most part that happened all the time. 

Whenever you had breaks from school, you had joined Harry on tour a few times and then whenever he was home, you two hung out as much as you could. The only times that really took its toll on your friendship was whenever Harry was in a relationship. 

You would admit it felt weird whenever you met his girlfriends or the people he was interested in dating because most of the time they were also famous. Which made sense, since your best friend was also extremely famous, but you never saw him as that, you just saw him as Harry. 

During the few times you would spend time with Harry and whoever he may have been dating at the time, you could sense they didn’t like you or at least you being around. You weren’t sure if it was because you weren’t famous yourself, even though you were  a pretty well known writer for a few top blogs and magazines, or if it was because of your relationship with Harry. 

Unfortunately, in almost every relationship you were a problem, but you never realized just how much until his most recent one. She was the most vocal about her dislike for you and by vocal it means posting on social media. Nothing was ever bluntly about you, as in she never tagged you mentioned your name, but things that were posted could easily be insinuated to be about you. 

Shit officially hit the fan one night while Harry was on tour for his first solo album. Harry had invited you to join him for a few shows in the States and when you said you weren’t sure because of your work obligations, he told you to come anyway and write a review on the show and it would be like a work thing. In the end, you agreed because you really missed your best friend and plus his shows were always fun. 

What neither of you counted on, or at least what you did count on was his girlfriend showing up. As soon as she saw you, you could tell she was pissed. You internally rolled your eyes as you sipped on your drink. Up until Harry needed to get changed to go on stage, she was literally all over him. It was almost like she was trying to make you jealous. 

Not that you would be, he was your best friend. There was nothing romantic going on between the two of you. Nothing, even though maybe, perhaps, you would have liked there to be. It wasn’t that you had a crush on your best friend or that you were secretly and desperately in love with him, it was just everyone around you, even your mother, had talked about the two fo you being together for years that made you just wonder what if. 

Usually, at the bare mention of it, you would roll your eyes, but it was until when you were out to dinner with Gemma and some friends and they were trying to hook you up with someone. One of your friends had mention what you looked for in a guy or what you wanted in a boyfriend, so you told them without hesitation all the qualities that were attractive to you. 

“So, my brother,” Gemma stated. 

“Wait? What?” You asked. 

“Literally every single thing you listed can be found in my brother,” she said. 

“Be honest, Y/N, have the two of you never hooked up or talked about it?” one of your friends asked. 

“Nope,” you said. “We’re friends, that’s it. Besides he’s with someone and he seems to really like her, therefore he has no romantic feelings towards me and I don’t have any for him.”

“Yeah, I don’t know about that,” Gemma mumbled throwing back another drink. 

Ever since that night, you have sort of pictured what it might be like and if in fact he had every single quality you wanted in a man. Which, of course he did, but that didn’t mean he was the person for you. Anyway, you could tell Harry was either annoyed or embarrassed by the actions of her because he couldn’t get to the dressing room fast enough. 

She gave you a bit of a smirk before gluing her eyes to her phone. 

“Someone doesn’t seem to like you, “Jeff whispered. 

“What was your first clue?” You scoffed. 

“You know they're all jealous,” he said. 

“Of what?” You asked. 

“Because they know Harry would easily chose you over them,” he said. “In fact, he has multiple times.” 

“What do you mean?” You asked. 

“Do you know how many times his exes asked him to stop inviting you to places or talking to you because it wasn’t fair to them?” He asked. “Every single one and every single time he said if he was going to have to choose, he would choose you.” 

“Really?” You asked. 

He nodded. 

“Wow, I had no idea,” you said. 

“You’re very important to him, Y/N, I hope you know that,” he said. 

You nodded, “I do. He’s important to me, too.” 

“And that’s why I like you,” he smiled wrapping his around you. 

You laughed hugging him back. 

Later that night, after getting side glares from the girlfriend, you all were going out after, but she had other plans. 

“You know, the restaurant we’re going too, is very, uh, expensive,” she said. “I’m not sure everyone will be able to afford it,” she said looking right at you. 

“I can afford it just fine,” you told her. 

“Let me guess because of Harry,” she said. 

“No, because I make my own money, love. I don’t need a man to foot my bill,” you said simply. 

“Well, still, it’s a very private place and I’m not sure if you know, you’d be able to get in anyway,” she said. 

“Look, why don’t we just go ahead and air out our shit like fucking adults,” you said. “If you don’t like me, just fucking say it instead of trying to act all innocent and post petty shit on social media.” 

“Don’t mind if I do,” she smirked. 

“The floor’s all yours,” you smirked. 

Before she can say anything, Harry walks out of the dressing room, freshly changed and seeing the two of you having a conversation. 

“For fuck’s sake,” he mumbled walking towards you two. “What’s going on?” 

“Oh, nothing, just trying to put your little friend here in her place,” she said. 

You looked over at Harry, who looked tired and annoyed. The last thing you wanted to do was make this situation worse for him, so you chose to back down. 

“You know what, it’s fine, whatever, I’m done arguing with you. I’ll go back to the hotel and call it a night,” you said simply. 

“Y/N- you don’t,” Harry said looking at you. 

“Yeah, I do,” you said. “Great job tonight. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” 

And with that you left the venue and went back to the hotel. 

**

After that night, your and Harry’s friendship had changed, mostly on your part. At the realization Harry would always chose you, you knew the only way for him to make it work with his girlfriend and find his happiness would be if you let him go. Not in the full letting go sense, but pulling back a bit. You didn’t return his texts or phone calls as often and you didn't take him up on an invite as often either. 

You told him it was work, you were swamped with writing and deadlines, which wasn’t a total lie. But you had taken on more work, so that you would have that excuse. It wasn’t much longer after that night when you found out that the two had spilt, and while you wanted to be there for him, you couldn’t be. Why? Because you were afraid it was because of you, again. 

What kind of a friend were you if you were the reason your best friend couldn’t find love? Even though it hurt you to be away from him, it hurt more knowing you were preventing him from being happy. It wasn’t until he finally confronted you almost six months later that you realized just how wrong you were. 

It was around the holidays and you knew you would see him again. Your families always spent the holidays together it was tradition. Sometimes it was at your family’s house, others it was at Anne’s, but either way it was the same traditions. You had avoided him as much as you could and it was so obvious that everyone was taking notice. 

Finally, Harry had enough and decided to confront you. He saw you headed towards the bathroom, when he followed you. Just before you opened the door, he pulled your arm into his old childhood bedroom. A place you two had spent many times in. 

“What the fuck,” you groaned. 

“My thoughts exactly,” he said. “What the fuck is going on with you? With us?” 

“Nothing,” you said. “I told you I’ve been busy.” 

“Bullshit,” he said. “When I was thousands of miles away and like an entire day  head of you, I still made time to return your fucking phone call. Now, tell me what the fuck is going on?” 

You sighed crossing your arms. 

“Is this about that night in New York?” He asked. 

“Yes and no,” you sighed. 

“Damnit, Y/N,” he sighed. “Why didn’t you say anything? And you know we broke up ages ago, yet you’re still ignoring me.” 

“I’m not ignoring you,” you said. 

“Like hell you aren’t,” he mumbled. 

You sighed, “Fine, you want to know. I’ll tell you. I kept getting in the way of your relationships. I could tell you really liked her, for what reason I’ve no clue, but you did. I knew that she would never let up on me and the toll it was taking on you. I thought if I removed myself from the situation a little bit, it would make things better.” 

Harry sighed sitting down on his bed, running his hands over his face, “But why?” 

“Because Jeff told me that you would choose me over them,” you said. “And while I’m flattered and love that you would, I knew that you wouldn’t be happy. I mean, all I want is for my best friend to find love and be happy, and if I was the reason holding you back from that, then I was willing to pull back a bit to let you have that.” 

“And what about me, huh?” He asked. “Didn’t I deserve the fucking decency to be able to chose for myself?” 

You sighed looking down. 

“I understand you thought you were doing the right thing, but you weren’t,” he said. 

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. 

“And just so you know, you’re still the reason we broke up,” he said. “You tried so hard not to be, yet you’re the sole reason my relationship ended.” 

“Harry, I’m so fucking sorry,” you sighed sadly. 

“Don’t be,” he said. “I’m happy because it made me realize something.” 

“What’s that?” You asked. 

“That I’m in love you,” he whispered. “The reason it wasn’t working out was because everyone could see something that I couldn’t. Whenever someone would bring it up, I shrugged it off because the way I feel about you is how I’ve always felt about you. But during the last few months without you in my life, I lost myself and that’s when I realized it’s because I’ve never known myself to be without you.” 

“I didn’t like it.. I hated who I had become and I don’t know... I woke up one day and it finally hit me,” he whispered. “It’s you. You are who I see myself growing old with, who I see chasing after little ones in the backyard, who I look for in the crowd every night on stage. The reason I never knew I was in love with you is because I’ve always been in love with you. From that very first day, you took your hand in mind, you also took my heart.” 

Tears were threatening to spill over as you looked at him. Your heart started to beat faster, your palms were sweaty, and it felt like your stomach was filled with butterflies. You weren’t sure what was happening, but it was almost like hearing him say those words to you, opened up the box that you had hid your own feelings about him in. 

And now they were pouring out. You opened your mouth to say something, to say anything in response to your best friend, your love, expressing his feelings to you, but nothing came out. You were speechless, overwhelmed, so you did the only thing that your body could do in that moment. 

You walked over to him, sitting on his lap, making the bed creak a bit at the addition of the weight. His hands rested at your hips as you looked into each other’s eyes. You placed your hands on his the side of his face before planting your lips softly against his. 

**

The last year and a half moving since you and Harry added the boyfriend and girlfriend title in your relationship had been the best. Both of you were the happiest you had ever been and it was easily seen by those around you. Your mom and Harry’s were already jokingly planning a wedding. Harry’s second album was officially out and you couldn’t be more proud of him. 

You had always been there for him with his career and at shows, but this time around it felt different. Seeing how successful it was and how proud he was of the album made your heart swell with love and pride. You were sitting in your and Harry’s home having gotten take out from Harry’s favorite restaurant. He had just gotten back from New York and would have the next few weeks off before tour started. 

You had brought everything into the living room where you had lit candles and had blankets and pillows spread out for a lovely chilled date night in. When Harry came down from getting a shower and changing, he smiled walking over to you. 

“I missed you,” he whispered wrapping his arms around your waist. “So, happy to be home for a bit. I love traveling, but it’s nice to sleep in my own bed.” 

“Oh, so it’s the bed you miss?” You scoffed. 

“Okay, I miss my bed and you in it,” he smirked. 

You rolled your eyes, “I bet,” you laughed turning around to face him. 

He smiled leaning down to kiss you. You smiled wrapping your arms around his shoulders and squealing a bit when he picked you up. 

“What are you doing?” You laughed. 

“Nothing, nothing,” he smirked laying you down on the spread of blankets. 

“You’re a horrible liar,” you laughed. “Always have been.” 

“Heeeey,” he laughed. 

“The food is going to get cold,” you said. 

“Good thing we own a microwave,” he smirked pressing his lips to yours again. 

**

Hope you enjoyed it! Thank you again for the request! :)