#is the funniest thing he can say while delivering his fucked up grandson to them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

padawansuggest · 11 days ago

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Yoda: *has been microdosing his water tank in his apartment with Space Datura (Spatura) seeds for a month because it’s like weed to him and passes the time in council meetings*

Qui-Gon: *climbs into Yoda’s apartment through the balcony with a manic expression on his face*

Yoda: A problem, you have, grandpadawan?

Qui-Gon: *doesn’t realize his tea was laced yesterday when he came over to talk with Yoda and stole his drink before Yoda could warn him* THE TEMPLE IS FULL OF GHOSTS AND THEY HATE ME AND WISH ME HARM!

Yoda: 👁️👄👁️ …thrash me, the healers will. Break all my bones, I am sure. Call them, I will anyways 😔

AU where Jango time travels, saves Jaster, and accidentally becomes Dooku’s controversially young boytoy and accidentally convinces him to become Obi-Wan’s master when he meets the 10 year old in the temple while avoiding Jaster in the archives and gets attached to Smolbi-Wan. He is now a stepdad. Fuck. Jaster keeps stealing the kiddo while Jango is getting his back blown out by a sorta former Sith.

#yoda #qui gon jinn #Star Wars #in case you do not know datura can effect you for like a week… or years #one single instance of datura usage can literally effect you for the rest of your life #it can even make you permanently hallucinate #I’ll check what it’s called in a bit but it’s often like induced schizophrenia #but worse because it’s not manageable I think???#either way Yoda is NOT gonna lie about this one he’ll take his beating like a good boy #but he sure as shit hopes Qui can be fixed #lmao Jango is the real villain here but he’s gonna get away with it #btw idk if Yoda has bones I just think him saying it #even if he def doesn’t have bones. that the healers will break his #is the funniest thing he can say while delivering his fucked up grandson to them

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