#is that what the nts say these days

[maigo-san]

I AM so normal about my ships. Like, autistic normal about them

[jirachuuu]

A girl who wants it all

[unproduciblesmackdown]

thirty tags generally never being enough: LOS-307 also having a perfectly neurodivergent time manifesting as their having a distressing/harmful experience that goes ignored (as does their talking about it, from [forewarning] to [increasingly urgently remarking on it]) b/c no one else shares it, and their efforts to help themself out by requesting a break from a task that's overtaxing them or trying to cool the room to cool themself are thwarted b/c [not continuing to overheat for their own current wellbeing And to avoid its exacerbation and an outright crisis] is dismissed for [i do want to keep playing this game to win it though] and [i would be uncomfortable if cold]. also that when it's way too late it's like oh ok Now um well just cool down it's fine lol. just like irl. iconique autistique

[fireladybuckley]

I really fucking hate being neurodivergent in an office full of neurotypicals sometimes 🙃😤

[saint-dominik-of-zadar]

[deus-ex-mona]

stuff’s wildin’, my dudes

[mademoisellesarcasme]

The mouth of the just man utters wisdom, and his tongue tells forth what is right. The law of his God is in his heart (E.T. alleluia).

(Ps 37 [36]:30–31) – second Entrance Antiphon option for the Common of Holy Men and Women: II. For Monks and Religious A. For an Abbot

[noxtivagus]

the 1975 hdlfkahdfklasdd

[someoneintheshadow456]

You also see this on Reddit AITA and relationship advice subreddits where the commenters expect the OP to be 100% perfect and omniscient and if they aren't they "deserved" what they got.

It's also this combined with "if you're over 18 you are magically expected to know everything and behave like a perfect adult with all the life experience" mindset that you see in American culture.

Also if you're neurodivergent, this is already your life experience. When NT people make social mistakes, they are just brushed off as "having a bad day." When an ND person does the same thing they are treated as worse than murderers. This even applies to normal social behaviours getting pathologised when an ND person does them.

[iceyrukia]

I honesty don't think it matters much in current times that men have influence over the beauty industry when feminists will spew repetitive commentary about 'patriarchal beauty standards' like broken records yet will perpetrate and valorize the exact same beauty standards that they critique.

Overthrowing beauty standards and getting rid of them entirely IMO is the easiest thing to "overthrow" systematically because all it takes is simply not buying beauty products and not practicing in unnecessary beauty rituals, and POOF! it can all crumble but that's not what's happening. Instead you see the most self-aware choice feminists give lip-service in support of women who don't want to be forced to wear makeup or shave or feel insecure about their looks. It's all "all women are beautiful" and "no women should be bullied for having body hair or being GNC" and they might have good intentions but at the end of the day as long as beauty is social currency for women (femininity in all forms) then that becomes a baseline for ALL women and ALL women will naturally have the incentive to try to pursue whatever is the current beauty standard. And in return those women who opt out femininity are seen as 'lesser' women who get demoted and ignored by society, and so all women, both GNC and GC who get mistreated for being women no matter what, will be inclined to at least gain something (social currency) by being 'pretty' and try to capitalize on that if they are going to be mistreated anyways.

I think it's a common misconception around choice feminists (judging by the way they tackle beauty standards) that women's insecurity are a personal self-inflicted, self-esteem problem and not one where women subconsciously know they are missing out on something (social currency) is they don't participate in it. Choice feminism somehow strangely recognized that beauty standards as systematic issue but doesn't handle it a one, in fact they go the hyper-individualistic route where every women simply needs to "be confident" (where some women's confidence comes from getting plastic surgeries to be their ideal self :/ ), and everything is solved. They focus more on individual feelings and not with the fact that beauty is more an accomplishment and experience that women are supposed to valorize in order to be successful in life, as if it's something to put on a resume.

So, as long as women participate and "gain" something from being beautiful, even if they are victims themselves of beauty standards, words and support for gender non-conforming women fall flat. When women are not valued for existing in their natural form and there is always an "improved", altered version of a women that they can be according to society (that doesn't exist for men at all), it no longer becomes a simple debate about choices and how men control women's appearances or not but one of ALWAYS feeling like your natural self as a women isn't good enough and you have to keep up with women who "choose" to do so and "gain" the most from it. Men's opinions and actions become insignificant here.

[novadreii]

if i could pick a very specific superpower it would be dopamine manipulation. down to the molecule. turn that shit off for things like scrolling, cooming, video games, eating sugar. turn it on full blast for work, taxes/paperwork, making appointments, cleaning, studying, and indulging in my friends' hyperfixations with them. i'd be unstoppable.

[trentxaa]

Pepe was not better than Ramos if you watched them play together it was so clear and I hate Ramos

if you think so, good for you, idc i just can't rate a cb with the positioning of a drunk toddler

[doux-amer]

I can't believe we all thought that despite knowing how things go, Rubiales was going to step down because the pressure was mounting and he not only didn't, but he and all those sick men ended up doubling down and sinking to new lows. It's been one thing after another today. And I'm judging a lot of the men and clubs who replied and haven't yet though there have been some pleasant surprises. Everyone be more like Borja Iglesias and the Real Betis gang. Everyone be more like Hector Bellerín. The Spanish men's team needs to all protest and walk off too, but lolllllllllllll we don't trust men in this house and especially this summer? This summer has been the summer of men in football showing their hideous true colors.

[maraczeks]

bcs s4 thread pt 4

[thebibliosphere]

Speaking of therapy, I say, as though we're old friends, and you're not a stranger trapped in this metaphorical elevator with me and you can hear the suspension wires starting to fray.

I've been doing a lot of work recently that's focused on imposter syndrome and the feeling that no matter how well or how much I do, I'm not good enough. That I'm somehow tricking everyone into thinking my work is actually good.

Some days it's a minor niggle in my head that I can gentle and soothe with logic and affirmations. Or smother, depending on the mood. Other times it's loud and all-consuming and the mental anguish it causes me is so real I can feel it twitching in my muscles. This desperate fight-or-flight instinct with nowhere to go and nothing to fight but myself.

Anyway, because I'm several types of Mentally Unwell™, I was switching between workshop sheets ahead of next week. Filling in different forms. (Trying to get a good grade in therapy) And I got my "recognize your harmful ADHD coping mechanisms" worksheet mixed in with the "you're not actually lying to people, you just feel like you are because your brain is full of weasels" worksheet, and seeing them side by side made something go topsy turvy in my head, and I just had to sit and breathe for a couple of minutes until the urge to scream passed. Because it clicked, it all suddenly clicked.

The reason the imposter syndrome workshops and therapy sessions aren't sticking was because I do routinely trick people into thinking I'm someone I'm not.

Because I'm masking my ADHD for their convenience.

I've always known there was something wrong with me. My neurotypical peers made it abundantly clear I didn't fit in or was failing in some way I couldn't see nor remedy, no matter how hard I tried.

So I compressed myself into a workaholic box of hyper-competence in the hopes they'd stop noticing the flaws and exploit like me instead. And then subsequently lived with the daily fear that if they looked too close, they'd realize I'm a monumental fuck up with enough personal baggage to block the Suez Canal.

If you ever need someone to burn themselves to ashes for your comfort and convenience, I'm your gal.

Or I used to. Until I had a bit of a breakdown, and the rubber band holding my brain together snapped and pinged off into the stratosphere, never to be seen again.

Unfortunately, the trauma of living like that didn't also fuck off and instead left a gaping maw where my personality ought to be, so now I get to deal with that aftermath.

And it's that aftermath that's affecting the imposter syndrome shit. Because yes, I am hyper-competent and good at what I do-- but it doesn't feel real because that is how I mask.

And the truly frustrating thing is I am good at what I do. I am not pretending. I worked hard to be good at this. It just feels like I'm dicking around because 90% of my personality turns out to be trauma masquerading as humor in a trenchcoat, and having people genuinely like something weird I'm doing is so foreign my brain has decided it's just another form of masking.

I'm pretending to be a good author so people will think I'm a good author, and my brain thinks we are in Danger of being found out. We are in Danger, and writing is Dangerous because then people will know I'm Weird and not whatever palatable version I've presented myself as for their NT sensibilities.

Like the neurotic vampire with a raging praise kink wasn't an obvious giveaway.

Anyway. I got nothing else. Thanks for listening.

I'm going to go be very normal in another room and not stare into the abyss of my own soul for a bit.

[not-a-space-alien]

I've seen a lot of "You have to communicate directly/don't expect other people to read your mind" posts going around tumblr lately and while I really do appreciate them because it's a skill a LOT of people need to work on, I do want to remind everyone to please meet people halfway sometimes.

I recently read a story on Reddit about a guy's pregnant wife texting him "I'm craving donuts but we don't have any in the house 😔" and he DIDN'T stop to pick up donuts on the way home from work. Everyone was taking his side because "she needs to communicate" and "he's not a mind reader" and "How was he supposed to know she wanted him to get donuts???" People, ffs, why on earth would she text him that while he was at work if not because she wanted him to get donuts? I was flabbergasted everyone was taking his side. "How was he supposed to know??" What? Like yeah it's true she didn't say "I want you to get me donuts" with those exact words in that exact order but the reason why people get upset if they hint they want you to do something and you don't do it is because they feel like you don't care about them and aren't actively thinking about their feelings. Especially in a marriage or LTR they are in a situation where the assumption is you care about filling the other person's needs.

Someone who loves and cares about someone will get the donuts "without being asked" just because their partner expresses a want or need. That's what someone is fishing for when they say "Aaaah I'm craving donuts 🥺🥺🥺" It's less about the donuts and more about feeling cared for. Sometimes straight up asking "Can you get me donuts?" defeats the purpose.

Also, women are typically socialized to communicate this way because they're punished socially for being too direct. I've heard that people of color, especially black people, often do this too because they're likely to be branded as "aggressive" if they're too direct with white people. So it might be a good idea to be a bit intersectional if we're trying to encourage people to be more direct.

Take the stereotypical example of a wife gets a new haircut and then gets upset that the husband doesn't notice. She's not literally mad at him for not saying the exact words "I like your new haircut." She's upset because she feels like he doesn't look at her and appreciate the efforts she's putting in anymore.

Obviously this will vary widely depending on the nature of your relationship with someone, but especially when it comes to intimate partnerships, there are certain things your significant other should not have to tell you directly. It's probably safe to assume your wife or husband wants a birthday present even if they don't ask for it. It's probably safe to assume your bf or gf would appreciate a valentine's day present or a compliment without them having to literally ask for it, unless they explicitly say otherwise.

This is difficult for a lot of neurodivergent people to learn manually if it's not instinctual and they didn't learn it growing up (lord knows I didn't) and yes, it's true that most people (especially NT people) should learn to communicate more directly. But also, your relationships would probably benefit from learning to read indirect cues and just pick up the donuts on the way home because you heard your wife is craving them. Sometimes what someone wants is for you to think about what they're feeling and what they want and do it without them asking directly. It's up to you whether or not you do that, but sometimes that is asking. I think this is what people generally mean when they say their partner is "thoughtful."