#is that he goes after frodo and sam and they end up in Shelobs cave and Mae is gonna kill the hobbits but the Liquid Starlight

[youareunbearable]

I might not do anything with this BUT I've been thinking about the Shadow of Mordor games again and how FUN would it be if Sauron did that but instead of bringing back Celebrimbor he uses his necromancy magic to bring back Maedhros

An imposingly tall figure, all done up in Sauron's spikey black armor, instead of his mace there is a wicked black blade where a right hand should be. He roams at the front of the Nazgul, blade at the ready as the other holds the reigns to a monstrous horse

People are terrified, thinking that Sauron himself is roaming the wilds, he stalks the Fellowship, nothing seems to stop him only delay him. Gandalf isn't sure its Sauron himself, but something about him under all that twisted and dark and evil song sings pure, like a dull flicker of white flame, like a weak candle.

When Boromir dies, that figure is with the orcs, it isnt the one to slay Boromir, but turns away and it seems to know where the ring is. The orcs are too focused on Merry and Pipin to follow the Figure, but he walks off. He stands on the shores as Frodo and Sam shiver in the Swan boat, but it does nothing but watch them as they sail off. It makes no motion to follow them or attack their small boat, just watch transfixed. Sam makes a comment that it looks like the Figure's armor makes it almost like it has a metal collar around its neck and cuffs on its wrists

During the battle of Helm's Deep, that Figure is back again, silently leading the siege. At one point, an Elven arrow hits the Figure's helm, knocking it a little loose and from under the helm tumbles a single red lock of hair. Its so red that almost looks like a smoldering flame. Haldir, who lives with the survivors of Doriath, sees that red hair, that tall stature, the handless right wrist and pales. While he wasn't there to witness the destruction of Doriath, he has heard the tales, he knows about the red haired monster that haunts the memories of the Sindar, and he knows what that Figure is capable of. Luckily, that Figure manages to catch a glimpse of Aragorn, and Freezes once again, a single stone that cuts through the rushing current of orcs all around him. Haldir doesn't see it again, but then again, Haldir doesn't see much of anything again.

(The Figure sees Gandalf on the hill, arriving with the dawn and reinforcments and it grieves, something in it breaks all over again but the magic puppeting its moves doesn't allow it to dwell. The helm is readjusted and the hair is tucked away and the Figure turns and leaves the battlefield. Its being summonded somewhere else.)

The war rages on, the Witch King is dead, but so is King Theoden. The Figure is trapped, the right wrist is pinned under the corpse of an oliphant and Elrond's sons watch as the Figure struggles before lying still. It's clearly not dead, but realizing it's trapped.

Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli join the twins. Gimli offers to thrust his axe in its chest, Legolas insists that he can shoot through its eye from a safer distance. Aragorn, who heard Haldir's frantic pleas during his final moments, just observes the Figure.

He notices the strange collar, how it clearly has cuffs on its wrist and feet, like it used to be shackled and chained.

"Can you speak?" He asks it.

The Figure does nothing but turn its helm towards Aragorn. They stare at each other for a few tense moments.

One of the twins, Aragorn still isn't fully sure which one, approches the Figure slowly. The Figure's helm is still directed at Aragorn.

"It feels familiar." The one twin whispers, voice raw from exertion. "It has a fea, it feels warm."

"Like uncle Erestor. Or Lindir." The other twin agrees.

The Figure turns its helm towards the twins at the mention of Erestor. The twin closest to the Figure, quick as an adder, jabs a polearm at the Figure's helm.

It snaps back, the helm tumbling off the Figure's head and those smoldering red locks fan out around the head, obscuring the face from view.

Even without seeing the face it's clearly an Elf. An abused one at that if one just looks at the notches missing from it's pointed ears. The polearm is back, nudging under where a chin should be to lift the face.

First, all that is seen is scars. So many that pull the once handsome face, for even under all its marring one can tell from the bone structure that this was a face that could launch a thousand ships, into a grotesque manner. But it is the eyes, the eyes that makes everyone suck in a breath.

These eyes glow, they glow with power, with light never been seen before, or well, haven't been seen in Ages. These grey eyes glow with the reflected light of the Two Trees, long since felled.

"Oh, Maitimo," Gandalf, who had wandered up the the group, sighed with tremendous sorrow. "What has become of you?"

Maitimo, or Maedhros as those in the Third Age know him as, tries to speak. His lips move, which brings attention to the fact that they are loosely sewn together with a black cord that seems to pull and ooze blood, never letting the wounds heal. His voice croaks, dry with misuse, but he manages a sound, a breath, perphaps even a word. Each syllable like a dying wheeze. He repeats the sound, again and again, almost becoming frantic with his wheezing chants, blood spilling down his chin from the threads, until it's understandable.

"Necromancer."

[dragonatthedinnertable]

Today I watched "Hobitit", the Finnish TV adaptation of the Lord of the Rings. 9 25-min episodes. It's nod bad (although not good, either). I have a lot of thoughts about this. I'm gonna break them up by episode (roughly).

Episode 1: Bilbo. This one is just old!Samwise talking to some Hobbit children about the War of the Ring and Bilbo's riddle game with Gollum. When a kid asks "What about Frodo?", he very dramatically says "His time will come soon..." and stalks outside.

Episode 2: The Road.

Hobbiton looks really dark & grim (and the model shot hass like 5 houses).

Bag End doesn't look fancy. It looks like the same 5 boxy houses as the rest.

Gandalf's moustache is glorious.

Samwise has a bad 80's mullet going on. I can't take him seriously.

Using the Ring makes the wearer disappear in a puff of smoke.

The Black Riders are really cool. They're rotoscoped, translucent, and animated at a lower frame-rate. They look really otherworldly.

Episode 3: The Old Forest.

I think this is the first adaptation that uses ol' Tom Bombadil?

Lots of green lighting in the forest. I'm 99% sure that they never actually put the actors in front of anything but a blue-screen when they're outside.

We get our first special effect. It's seriously worse than half of what I see on old Doctor Who...

They include the bit where a barrow-wight captures the Hobbits, but we don't see the wight, and barely see the barrow, so if you don't know the book this scene makes no sense.

There's a side bit where Gandalf gives his message to Butterbur, and then goes to see Saruman. There's someone else at Isengard, who I'd guess would be Wormtongue, but since we never see either of these again it doesn't matter.

Episode 4: The Prancing Pony.

They get a really cool background music for The Cat and the Fiddle song. I don't think it's Frodo's actor singing, though.

The Hobbits seem exactly the same height as everyone else.

Strider is good as a Ranger, but throughout I really don't buy him as a royal heir.

Episode 5: Strider

Weathertop is basically a small pile of stones.

There's a shot of the crebain with NO significance whatsoever.

The fight with the Black Riders is really vague. The Fellowship is crouching in the forest, waving torches. Frodo puts on the ring with like no prompting, and then there's splashing and he wakes up in a white room.

That white room (completely featureless) is Rivendell, apparently. They use his bed as the table.

For some reason, Boromir has a weird kind of punk-rock samurai vibe? He's got a rice farmer hat on his back.

Gimli has the shortest beard I've ever seen on a dwarf. Like, it's 3 months of growth, at most???

Ancient-looking Bilbo comes in, offering to take the Ring to Mordor. Everyone's like, "Now, now, Bilbo..."

Episode 6: Lorien

With a bit of narration, we skip through Hollin and right to the fight with the orcs in Moria.

We don't see the Balrog at all, just Gandalf swirling down a fiery-red drain hole???

Lorien has nothing but Galadriel in a lake, which is the Mirror.

This is the point I realised that Legolas hasnt' said a word the entire time. He doesn't.

They do the whole breaking of the Fellowship here too. The orcs' arrows are weirdly twiggy.

Boromir has a frikkin' KATANA! Like, what???

This is the last time we see Aragorn, Legolas & Gimli.

Episode 7: Mordor

Mount Doom is visible as a cinder-cone spouting flame like an oil refinery.

Sam & Frodo cross the Emyn Muil. There's a whole bit with the Elvish rope, which is weird because there was definitely no gift-giving scene in Lorien.

Gollum is very stutter-weepy.

Old!Sam covers the entirety of the Treebeard thing & the sack of Isengard in 2 minutes of narration. Rohan isn't mentioned at all.

The Eye of Sauron is literally an eye. A human eye. Blue-screened onto the sky. The iris is different colours sometimes.

Episode 8: Mount Doom

The Black Gate is really, really small.

The entrance to Shelob's Cave looks just like I expected the Sammath Naur to look, which was confusing.

We don't see Shelob at all. There's no build-up, no Gollum talking about "Her!". We just see Frodo falling as if stung, and Gollum yelling "The Shelob got him!" That's it. The orcs certainly talk about her as if she's there. I was hoping for at least a really bad model or overlay effect, but given the lack of a Balrog I shouldn't be surprised.

Episode 9: Liberation

The Ring literally weighs Sam down when he puts the chain on. Same when Frodo puts it back on.

When we see Mount Doom, it looks like a really-low shot of a steep columnar peak.

Next time we see it, Frodo is strangely half-way up.

Then we see Gollum & Frodo at the top, and it's just a really short, squat cinder cone.

When Gollum falls in, it looks exactly the same as Khazad-dûm, except that the Eye is there. And there's the same effect where Gollum looks like he's going down a plug-hole.

After Mount Doom explodes, Sam & Frodo wake up in the same featureless room of Rivendell. Apparently it's Minas Tirith. We never see another part of the city at all.

Surprisingly, we actually see the Scouring of the Shire. Or at least part of it. After Merry threatens his way into the guard house at the Brandywine Bridge, there's just Hobbits running around with farming tools.

I think we see Saruman coming out of Bag End? It's hard to tell, because he's only in shot for a few seconds, and also the same size as the Hobbits (just like everyone else is).

After old!Sam finishes his story, he walks in the same direction as Frodo left in. There's no harbour, but he walks dramatically along the Straight Road.

None of the actors can emote very well. This, along with the blue-screening of all outdoor shots, makes the whole thing feel very flat. It purports to just tell the bits of the story that the Hobbits see, but that seems to translate only to Sam. It's weird not seeing anything of Treebeard, or Rohan, or Minas Tirith.

That said, the writers know the lore of the world really well. Old!Samwise namedrops Gil-Galad, they use all the names of Rauros, that kind of thing. There's nicely poignant bits thrown in there. Boromir delivers his "give me the Ring, Frodo" speech as flat as anything, but when they close-up on his face, his eyes are swimming in tears.

Overall, I give it a solid 5/10.

[big-zube]

the best moments from return of the king that make me Feel a Lot

after gollum frames sam for eating all the lembas bread and then frodo leaves with gollum and sam is left all by himself when everything he's ever done on the trip was to try to help frodo and he's so, so tired

when frodo is in shelob's cave and he realizes how sorry he is and how much he needs his sam and then he collapses and has that vision of galadriel that gives him the strength to get back up

when sam thinks frodo is dead but then he's not and it turns out ok

right after pippin picked up the palantir and he's all shaken up poor bbyyyyy

when pippin is about to leave to gondor with gandalf and merry is pissed at him but he doesn't realize that the reason merry is so upset is that they might not get to see each other again and the moment when innocent lil pippin realizes and merry is choked up and he says "i don't know what's going to happen" and then pippin is whisked away and merry immediately races to the top of the building to watch them ride into the distance

when pippin kneels in front of denethor and offers a lifetime of service in return for boromir's life (HOW IMPOSSIBLY NOBLE AND SELFLESS OF HIM??? HIS HEART IS SO PURE)

when denethor tells faramir that he wishes he died instead of boromir and faramir says he'll do his best to make up for that loss while obviously trying not to cry in front of his stupid bitch of a dad

when arwen has that vision of aragorn with their child and decides once and for all to become mortal no matter what elrond says

when aragorn is about to leave to go rally up the ghost army and eowyn is like "you can't leave on the eve of battle" and aragorn is like dude why are you here and she's like do you really not know and he gives her that slightly pitying look you give when someone loves you and you don't love them back and he just softly goes "eowyn." (and then says something about it's only a shadow and a thought you love which is also a cool line)

pippins gorgeous sad song

eowyn scooping merry up onto her horse so that he can join the battle, and then the way they look out for each other during it all, they're so sweeeet

"A SWORD DAY, A RED DAY" pep talk and then this giant mass of people screaming "DEEAAAAAAATH"

when theoden is dying and he realizes his daughter is the soldier who killed the nazgul dude and the moment they share right when he goes out

WHEN PIPPIN AND GANDALF ARE SITTING TOGETHER IN THE MIDST OF EVERYTHING AND PIPPIN SAYS "i never thought it would end this way" AND GANDALF COMFORTS PIPPIN BY TELLING HIM ABOUT HOW PEACEFUL THE AFTERLIFE IS WITH THE WHITE SHORES AND STUFF

when pippin and merry reunite afterwards and pippin tells merry that hes going to look after him

when aragorn gives his pre-fight pep talk and finishes it with "for frodo" and charges the orcs and there's a pause and the first people to follow him are merry and pippin, the most unlikely soldiers, with hearts so much bigger than their tiny bodies and filled with love for their friend

"what about side by side with a friend"

"I CAN'T CARRY IT FOR YOU, BUT I CAN CARRY YOU"

"it's gone. it's done."

"i'm glad to be with you samwise gamgee here at the end of all things"

THAT WHOLE SCENE, AND THEN WHEN THE EAGLES RESCUE THEM, AND THEN WHEN FRODO REUNITES WITH EVERYONE IN BED

when frodo is about to board the ship and everyone is falling apart emotionally and he hugs the other hobbits and each of them cling to him as tight as they can and then. AND THEN. when he gets to sam. and that tender kiss on the forehead. fuck

and then on the ship he turns to look at them one last time and he smiles and its the most beautiful smile you've ever seen because all the color has come back to his face and he's truly at peace for the first time since bearing the ring and his happy ending has finally finally finally come

THE GODDAMN HUG. THE GODDAMN SMILE.

THE WHOLE GODDAMN MOVIE

oh yeah and that gorgeous credits song

[arofili]

#I personally think it would be Fun and Seasonal if Mae becomes a zombie puppet for Sauron#like I already think that because of the Oath and because of his time with Morgoth and Sauron he wouldnt be able to die or hear Mandos Call#And I think Sauron would be a petty bitch enough to bring back Mae as a fun little HaHa Deal With THIS Emotional Trauma Elrond U Ass#I couldnt decide if I wanted Mae to deal with Aragorn and the fellowship or with frodo and sam but I figured if hes being puppeted#he would go after aragorn HOWEVER a fun little alternative i have#is that he goes after frodo and sam and they end up in Shelobs cave and Mae is gonna kill the hobbits but the Liquid Starlight#snaps some of his Sauron Mind Control off and activates his Omg Oath!! brain and he fights Shelob off the hobbits to grab it#and he knows he cant grab the vial cause hes Literally a figure of evil now but he just sits there and stares at it#and Little Sam goes up to him slowly and asks#If you want that vial i can help you but you must not hurt Mr Frodo anymore do you promise?#And Mae nods his head. promising.#so Sam cuts off a corner of his cloak and wraps the vial in it and hands it over to Mae who just hold the cloth bundle and begins to shake#he sobs. big wheezes and moans that cant make it past his sewn lips but he tries and Sam runs off to save Frodo while he does that#Then once gollum tosses himself and the ring into the lava and the world is crumbling around them Mae appears in the cave opening#to scoop up the tired hobbits and carry them to safety not caring about lava chasing after them. He collapses once the eagels come#Sam tries to get them to take Mae as well. But they dont and he screams and Mae just takes off his helm and smiles#He holds up the wrapped vial in his hand and with his bladed hand he cuts through the threads on his lips and shouts up to the sky#Thank You! A New Dawn Shall Rise!! and the eagles fly higher and farther and sam cant see it but he knows the lava swallowed him up#and a new dawn does rise. It rises on a new Age with a new king and a wedding and painful goodbyes and a new beginning

AHHHHHHH OP,,,

I might not do anything with this BUT I've been thinking about the Shadow of Mordor games again and how FUN would it be if Sauron did that but instead of bringing back Celebrimbor he uses his necromancy magic to bring back Maedhros

An imposingly tall figure, all done up in Sauron's spikey black armor, instead of his mace there is a wicked black blade where a right hand should be. He roams at the front of the Nazgul, blade at the ready as the other holds the reigns to a monstrous horse

People are terrified, thinking that Sauron himself is roaming the wilds, he stalks the Fellowship, nothing seems to stop him only delay him. Gandalf isn't sure its Sauron himself, but something about him under all that twisted and dark and evil song sings pure, like a dull flicker of white flame, like a weak candle.

When Boromir dies, that figure is with the orcs, it isnt the one to slay Boromir, but turns away and it seems to know where the ring is. The orcs are too focused on Merry and Pipin to follow the Figure, but he walks off. He stands on the shores as Frodo and Sam shiver in the Swan boat, but it does nothing but watch them as they sail off. It makes no motion to follow them or attack their small boat, just watch transfixed. Sam makes a comment that it looks like the Figure's armor makes it almost like it has a metal collar around its neck and cuffs on its wrists

During the battle of Helm's Deep, that Figure is back again, silently leading the siege. At one point, an Elven arrow hits the Figure's helm, knocking it a little loose and from under the helm tumbles a single red lock of hair. Its so red that almost looks like a smoldering flame. Haldir, who lives with the survivors of Doriath, sees that red hair, that tall stature, the handless right wrist and pales. While he wasn't there to witness the destruction of Doriath, he has heard the tales, he knows about the red haired monster that haunts the memories of the Sindar, and he knows what that Figure is capable of. Luckily, that Figure manages to catch a glimpse of Aragorn, and Freezes once again, a single stone that cuts through the rushing current of orcs all around him. Haldir doesn't see it again, but then again, Haldir doesn't see much of anything again.

(The Figure sees Gandalf on the hill, arriving with the dawn and reinforcments and it grieves, something in it breaks all over again but the magic puppeting its moves doesn't allow it to dwell. The helm is readjusted and the hair is tucked away and the Figure turns and leaves the battlefield. Its being summonded somewhere else.)

The war rages on, the Witch King is dead, but so is King Theoden. The Figure is trapped, the right wrist is pinned under the corpse of an oliphant and Elrond's sons watch as the Figure struggles before lying still. It's clearly not dead, but realizing it's trapped.

Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli join the twins. Gimli offers to thrust his axe in its chest, Legolas insists that he can shoot through its eye from a safer distance. Aragorn, who heard Haldir's frantic pleas during his final moments, just observes the Figure.

He notices the strange collar, how it clearly has cuffs on its wrist and feet, like it used to be shackled and chained.

"Can you speak?" He asks it.

The Figure does nothing but turn its helm towards Aragorn. They stare at each other for a few tense moments.

One of the twins, Aragorn still isn't fully sure which one, approches the Figure slowly. The Figure's helm is still directed at Aragorn.

"It feels familiar." The one twin whispers, voice raw from exertion. "It has a fea, it feels warm."

"Like uncle Erestor. Or Lindir." The other twin agrees.

The Figure turns its helm towards the twins at the mention of Erestor. The twin closest to the Figure, quick as an adder, jabs a polearm at the Figure's helm.

It snaps back, the helm tumbling off the Figure's head and those smoldering red locks fan out around the head, obscuring the face from view.

Even without seeing the face it's clearly an Elf. An abused one at that if one just looks at the notches missing from it's pointed ears. The polearm is back, nudging under where a chin should be to lift the face.

First, all that is seen is scars. So many that pull the once handsome face, for even under all its marring one can tell from the bone structure that this was a face that could launch a thousand ships, into a grotesque manner. But it is the eyes, the eyes that makes everyone suck in a breath.

These eyes glow, they glow with power, with light never been seen before, or well, haven't been seen in Ages. These grey eyes glow with the reflected light of the Two Trees, long since felled.

"Oh, Maitimo," Gandalf, who had wandered up the the group, sighed with tremendous sorrow. "What has become of you?"

Maitimo, or Maedhros as those in the Third Age know him as, tries to speak. His lips move, which brings attention to the fact that they are loosely sewn together with a black cord that seems to pull and ooze blood, never letting the wounds heal. His voice croaks, dry with misuse, but he manages a sound, a breath, perphaps even a word. Each syllable like a dying wheeze. He repeats the sound, again and again, almost becoming frantic with his wheezing chants, blood spilling down his chin from the threads, until it's understandable.

"Necromancer."