#is that better or worse than depicting her as a twenty-something? idek

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

Idk if you've answered this before, but why is Rhaegar still so revered by the people of Westeros? Yes, he was the perfect prince with the harp and skill and whatnot, but regardless of what actually happened between him and Lyanna, it's more or less agreed upon that he kidnapped her. How are people like Kevan, Cersei, Barristan and Jaime ignoring this? Robert takes it too far, but even the others seem to think nothing of the fact that it was an official kidnapping, almost to the point of denial.

First of all, please consider the sources here. The Lannisters were Targaryen loyalists up until Rhaegar’s death. (Well, Tywin was fence-sitting, and only nominally loyal at that point anyway, but still he wasn’t officially part of the rebels until he began the Sack of King’s Landing; and Jaime was loyal until the middle of the Sack.) Barristan went down at the Battle of the Trident fighting for Rhaegar and Aerys… and he never truly lost his loyalty to the Targaryens, in his heart, despite Robert’s generous pardon. Jaime knows it was right to kill Aerys because of his crimes, though he’s haunted by guilt for it anyway, but he’s literally haunted for failing Rhaegar. Cersei dreamed of marrying Rhaegar, and still believes the wrong man came back from the Trident. If you asked any of them, they’d say it was Aerys’s crimes that brought down House Targaryen, not Rhaegar’s.

Secondly, for just about everyone except Robert and the Starks, Rhaegar’s kidnapping of Lyanna is framed as something romantic, done out of passionate love for her. And when I say romantic, I mean chivalric romance, courtly love. Think Lancelot and Guinevere, or Tristan and Isolde – both of which are stories of adultery, yet where the cheating lovers are held almost blameless by the narrative because of the pureness of their love, because of their destiny to be together, etc. (Though of course they’re also grand tragedies where almost everyone dies.) The people of Westeros are no more immune to the power of romantic stories than we are… less so, in fact. (Consider TWOIAF and GRRM’s DotD novellas, how often the maesters Yandel and Gyldayn keep ranting about how the singers have gotten history so wrong.) And Rhaegar presenting Lyanna with the rose crown of the Queen of Love and Beauty, choosing her above all other beautiful women (including his wife) at the grandest tourney in Westeros, is remembered as a deeply romantic moment. (Further on this topic, consider the romantic connotation of the word “ravishment”, as opposed to “rape” or “kidnapping”; and note the distinction is not all that modern, especially in chivalric romance.)

Thirdly, Westeros is a very patriarchal, misogynist society, highly prone to victim-blaming. (Not unlike our own.) Dany was told by Viserys growing up that if only she had been born earlier Rhaegar would not have needed to marry Elia, he would have been happy with no need to find another wife. (Blaming Elia for making Rhaegar cheat and guilting Dany for not being born, at the same time – heck of a job, Vissy.) Dany even asks Barristan if it’s true that Elia treated Rhaegar so badly, for him to seek out another. Cersei, Kevan, Jon Connington – they all blame Elia for not being “worthy of Rhaegar”. And when they’re not blaming Elia, they’re blaming Lyanna and her “wild beauty” for making Rhaegar stray. (And it’s not just the characters doing this – I still remember this c.2012 Tourney at Harrenhal fanfic where Lyanna is this seductive little temptress viciously reveling in her power over Rhaegar… ffs, she was fourteen.) But either way, it’s never the man’s fault – it’s the other woman that’s the homewrecker, or it’s the fault of the unworthy shrewish wife that drove him away.

And lastly, as you say, Rhaegar was the perfect prince, handsome and noble and valiant and talented. Little things called facts aren’t going to change this rose-colored vision for the people who saw him that way. “Almost to the point of denial”, heh… it’s not just almost. Just look at how these characters view the incident: “Rhaegar battling the Usurper in the bloody waters of the Trident and dying for the woman he loved”, “[he] stole her away from her betrothed”, “If he loved you, he would come and carry you off at swordpoint, as Rhaegar carried off his northern girl,” “Prince Rhaegar loved his Lady Lyanna,” and so on. So for these people, Rhaegar didn’t kidnap Lyanna – he took her away (from her unworthy betrothed), carried her off, because he was in love. He was tempted by beauty, he was lost to passion… but it’s not his fault, it doesn’t make him wrong or bad. (Though it is interesting to note that while there is a constant refrain that Rhaegar loved Lyanna, none ever say how Lyanna felt about it.) If they even acknowledge that it was a crime, then it was a crime of passion, a crime of love (“the things I do for love”)… and love forgives all.

So… I hope this helps you understand. And again, note it’s not just the characters of Westeros who feel this way about Rhaegar – because of how GRRM has framed the story of Rhaegar and Lyanna, because of the general romantic inclination of fantasy fans, it’s no wonder that the tendency to romanticize and forgive Rhaegar is prevalent in the fandom as well. (There’s so much beautiful romantic R/L fanart. So much.) So even if the truth turns out to be far more complicated, I’m sure there will still be people overlooking Rhaegar’s actual genuine problems for this idealized romantic view. (Though for me, Rhaegar just makes me feel disappointed and sad, and I don’t expect GRRM will tell me anything that’ll change that.)