#is sooooo dense & so difficult to read

[raiiny-bay]

boyfriend added

redhead :-)

[dxxtruction]

Sooooo, Armand did tamper with Louis memories but my next question is why? I find 'he wanted to manipulate him' a bit crass of a read; lacking. That's not to say he hasn't, or that he'd be so dense to not know that he had, rather that this wouldn't be what motivates him. So, what does, and why did he do it?

Suppose it's easiest to start with the core of it, which is that most anyone typically acts out of a need to cling to (or run from) some sense of self or identity, especially when it's called into question. We have to reckon with how others see us just as much as we have to reckon with how we see ourselves. Grappling with finding relation to the changing and unchanging facts about ourselves - the total amalgamation of what makes us 'us' - comes with an interplay of inner and outer perceptions surrounding everything we do, or seem to do in both these eyes. Armand is called into question by Louis. And from what we know of his character is that his identity is heavily internally clung to two things: A necessity for having control, and a desperate need to be loved.

It's important that how those manifest in him is deeply rooted in the traumas he's faced (Which he wants to run away from in the form of seeking and identifying with said control/love. Even at the expense, knowingly or not, of replicating those cycles). So, it's like he's living in near constant response to it. Leaving him without much else to find identity in.

And loss of identity directly feeds into his traumas as well, it being one of them, done repeatedly. Making the process of having any ambiguity on part of how another views him - particularly from those he cares deeply about the opinions of, especially on matters of love - difficult to accept, and easy to deny. In other words: he needs whatever sustained self image he can hold on to, so struggles identifying with the truth about Louis' feelings about him being so opposed. Upon question, he can't accept what not being loved would do to that image and finds himself seeking the comfort of living in denial.

So, I'd say that then could explain most of it. Being motivated to maintain certain perceptions in the form of tampering with memory: the means through which said perceptions are perceived. Making everyone live in this denial with him also appealing to his controlling. Thus returning this sense of self back to him in both aspects. The emotional wound does explain (not forgive) why he takes to it in the way he does.

But let's go deeper, because there's more to the very situation (1973) as to why. Why would Armand go out of his way to tamper with Louis memory as well, when they'd already reached a kind of conclusion that does appear to keep their companionship? What, to his mind, called for it given the situation?

Harkening back to above, Armand defines himself around Louis in a major way. Louis is his love, is his need to be loved. There's a developed co-dependancy between them. They're at such point both exploiter and exploited in this. His happiness, is Armand's happiness, is reason enough to preserve it in a way that is agreeable. And that agreement is a tricky one to play a balance with, like they honestly shouldn't be together after Paris, but this goes without saying. It's been on Armand, mostly, to make this relationship work. (And even if it was mostly one of a lot of a denial, I like to imagine there are large periods where it has, and they've lived a relatively normal relationship, had this 'dreamy balance' or it simply wouldn't have lasted so long - with or without mind fuckery).

He wants it most too, which is how Louis is able to have some control over Armand. Control in how Louis ability to love him is very conditional and rests a lot on Armand's ability to satisfy, gratify, console, and control Louis for his own protection - despite knowing he'll never make up for Paris he does everything to earn Louis anyway. So could Armand have chosen to do this to be perceived as someone able to earn it still? That's one option. Very plausible.

Louis has a complicated love for Armand, it's there and isn't, but he also can get from Armand whatever he can squeeze out of him, and in this past he takes heavy advantage of it. As Armand is susceptible to his own much greater necessitation to be loved by him, making him go out of his way to do this 'earning'. However, as had been revealed, for Armand this is played up in part to uphold for Louis' perceptions that he really has that much power over him.

Because what we also have to factor in is Armand's other aspect - control. The line, 'Armand preserves my happiness even when I can't or wont. He had a hunch you might prove useful in later times', is rehearsed in much the same way this entire dynamic is one of great rehearsal. It's practiced, or it would be chaos.

There's certainly a part of Armand that likes being in the submissive role too, he likes what comes with it, but he can't be in total service to Louis, and Louis can't be without rules - or there's no control. Rules, roles, scripts, are very important to Armand, they're a way to facilitate a controlled setting, and he's really the one to enforce the parameters of what those are more so than Louis is. See; when Louis breaks from these things of agreement, what Armand normally gives him goes away.

I picture Louis as like the playwright of the relationship - the one facilitating everything - while Armand seems to then stage direct everything about it, sometimes secretly. In this way, Armand places himself as moreso being the one to meet his own satisfaction, gratification, consolation, and control (he has more overall power here in a duel sense) than Louis. Louis own meeting of these things still factor into it, though. Remember; his happiness, is Armands happiness, is his role to maintain so the play will keep writing itself. The curtains would close on their relationship otherwise.

This is the 'balance' of agreement between them, and again, it's entirely likely such balance just could not be maintained were those memories to stay as they were, almost like the jig is up. There's a factor here of Armand probably catching that Louis wouldn’t be comfortable in this relationship knowing more apparently Armand had so much more power over him this whole time. He knew, of course, but in their roles they could forget. This switch up in dynamics over those few days revealed the imbalance of things, a truth about it, and those needed to be masked back up. Theatre.

But let's explore some other ideas too.

I would first repeat myself in more context, Armand tampers with the script for the express purpose of preservation - of its dynamics, its roles, its rules, and of Louis. Nothing has the ability to change if nothing happened and Armand perhaps wanted to go on as if nothing really did - again there's denial. Armand finds reason in preservation to remove those memories. Preservation of Louis is in several ways preservation of himself, is preservation of their companionship. A companionship which is what he defines himself through - his love, his control.

But tacked onto this there's also this protecting Louis from himself - from the knowing of what he did (the arguing, the attempt, and what came after) and why it all happened. This is maybe Armand's way of going about excusing it? But, he probably does think this is to an extent true. He does think he's protecting him with this, preserving his happiness. There's an argument to be made that Louis wouldn't be alive without Armand acting in this way. That, hypothetically, the reminder would be fuel to attempt again, so perhaps there's merit to this excuse. It is ultimately still an excuse though. It's still a fucked up form of protection. One that can't actually allow Louis to move past into healing from the actual causes of things. Or Armand for that matter.

Removing those memories could also be because of a remorse on his part, Armand's regretful role in how he acted during all of it. He doesn't want to be remembered that way. Yet again with identity, and with denial. This isn't the image of who he wants to be. This isn't how he would paint himself.

Armand in this stage director role also just has a tendency to do that - and edit himself out. It'd not be shocking that such a heightened situation would call for heightened dramatics. I don't see Armand taking it to this extreme as being a common thing, this could've been the only time too. That we can't actually say for sure is the terrifying part, the potential is always still there once you know its there. (and the point was never to know it's there).

There's a part of me that wants to say that pairing the 'cut' with Daniel's isn't without it's place in this either. It seems pointed. Armand's jealousy of Daniel over Louis preferring him motivating removing any memory that he ever did have reason to find Daniel so favorable, let alone bond deeper with him over those days. He was making sure further contact was unlikely to happen? Compliant willingness for it now could be a matter of knowing it's a lot safer to do so. Louis seems in a lot better place than he was. Armand can't really say no at this point. And he couldn't tell him why it ever would've been dangerous to begin with, just be extremely on guard about the whole thing.

Really, there's not an easy answer to it that we can point to and say: it's this one. I wouldn't be surprised if it was all these things building to a list of reasons, and more than the one's I've listed. Ends up with more pros than cons? But there could also be hardly calculation at all and it's a purely emotional choice, coming from an emotional place.

A very damaging choice, regardless, among several other damaging choices, and it's one I think can be read with all this nuance without mitigating that. I hope it's been clear I'm not trying to. Intentions don't = impact. Investigation into the intentions doesn't take away from that.

I'm very interested to see how it all plays out, how they handle this on the impact side of things. If they'll actually give more of an answer. Rolin says some interesting things here: x. That alludes to how they're going to address this whole thing about memory - it's monstrous quality - with some of the same nuance I've given. And how a blanket statement on blame, and who did what, isn't where this kind of conversation will end up going.

[foxyotomelady]

Another love, Chapter IV (JuminxReader)

Author’s notes:

Wow, that was a ride.

Be aware of: strong language, slightly angst, my poor grammar, ANGRY MC.

And again: THE DRAMA!

Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III | Chapter IV (You are here) | Chapter V | Chapter VI |  Chapter VII | Chapter VIII | Chapter IX | Chapter X | Chapter XI | Chapter XII | Chapter XIII | Chapter XIV |

Buy Me A Ko-Fi Have a nice reading!

[Y/N has entered the chat room] 

Jumin Han: Oh, you're here, Y/N 

You: Hello, Jumin... 

Jumin Han: Did you sleep well? 

You: Actually no... It was a bit difficult to sleep... eheheh ^^' 

Jumin Han: hmm, same here.

Jumin Han: That's probably because of what happened yesterday

Jumin Han: I must apologize once again

You: That's... Um... You don't have to.

You: You were very polite. You asked me and I agreed so there is no need to apologize.

You: Are you heading to work? 

Jumin Han: Yes, forgive me that I couldn’t say goodbye to you. I didn’t want to wake you up. 

You: It's okay. Actually, it's good that you didn’t wake me up. I really fell asleep late.

Jumin Han: It's an interesting feeling to be a reason for your sleeping problems. 

Jumin Han: I probably shouldn’t be happy about this fact. 

Jumin Han: But I am. 

Jumin Han: 

Jumin Han: And don't worry, as I said earlier, you're also giving me sleepless nights :3

You: staph

You: I'm embarrassed >///<

Jumin Han: cute

Jumin Han: but you don't have to be

Jumin Han: You're a beautiful woman so it's only natural that you appear in men's dreams.

You: My god, Jumin Han!

You: What did I just say?

You: staaaph >////<

Jumin Han: I'd like to talk to you more, but I must be going now.

Jumin Han: Have a pleasant day Y/N.

[Jumin Han has left the chat room]

[Y/N has left the chat room]

You breathed in and pressed the phone to your chest. The memory of yesterday's kiss came back to you and you felt that you're getting hot. Jumin was not the only one who let himself be carried away by the moment. But now that you were sitting in silence in this huge bedroom and you only heard purring Elizabeth curled up next to you… Other memories have begun to come back to you. Your head was aching. You didn't want these memories, but the rush of thoughts wouldn't stop. You still remembered Yuwoon's smile, his warm voice, his touch... Despite all that he did, and even though he revealed his true face to you... You still remembered how happy you were together. Such memories did not go away easily. Such feelings were not easy to forget about. You wanted to forget, you wanted to stop feeling this terrible pain. Pain after betrayal, pain after being deceived and manipulated. Was that how Jumin felt the whole time? You understood more and more why he wanted to keep you by his side. Two of his best friends turned out to be liars, and then he lost one of them in such a brutal way. No... He must have felt much worse than you.

You calmed your thoughts in the shower, you ate the breakfast that the chef prepared for you, and then you decided to leave. The bodyguard did not stop you - Jumin, therefore, fulfilled his promise, he tried to trust you. You took your laptop with you and left the building. You wanted to visit a well-known cafe where you were able to pay for snacks and drinks. You decided to study a little, sipping coffee and eating sweets. It's been several hours.

"Y/N!" You heard a familiar voice and looked up from the keyboard. You blinked in surprise.

"Zen? What are you doing here?" The white-haired man laughed nervously and went to your table, "May I join you, baby?" You nodded and Zen took the place in front of you. "If I say I'm here by accident, will you believe me?"

You raised your eyebrow meaningly.

"I thought so," Zen sighed, and then he winked at you. "I am here because I was worried about you."

"As you can see, I'm fine, have you been here for a long time in a hope that you will meet me accidentally?"

"Hmm..." Zen folded his hands under his chin, smiled flirtatiously at you. "Maybe I happened to be here day by day since you are at this jerk’s place."

You shut your laptop and you gave Zen a look that was colder than you intended, "Stop calling him that, he's really doing a lot for me, and you have no idea how many things he has to face."

Zen was taken aback, "This guy was born with a silver spoon, he has everything he wants, and it looks like he already got you in his hands too."

"I'm not a thing, Zen," You frowned.

"Not what I meant!" Zen raised his hands and shook his head. "Just... After V died... Jumin was not in good condition, and now suddenly..." He scratched his head. "He suddenly became so happy that it gives me goosebumps, I'm worried about this sudden change."

You crossed your arms and pierced Zen with your stare, "Your point?"

Zen began to look very embarrassed, "Something is happening between you two, am I right? It's not my business... But lately, Jumin seems to be a little... No, he always seemed unstable."

You took the laptop and got up from your place. You looked at Zen from above and took a breath to calm your anger, "You're right, Zen, it's NOT YOUR BUSINESS, I understand you are worried, I understand that you are all worried, but for fuck’s sake, stop acting like our babysitters!"

When you passed him, Zen jumped up, knocking over the chair.

"Wait, wait!" He called after you. You swallowed and somehow you overcame your fury. You turned to him, "I didn’t mean to make you angry "

"I know, Zen."

"So... How about a little hug?"

You rolled your eyes, "Fine."

Zen spread his arms, came to you and then put his arms around you, "Aww, aren't you cute?"  

You were pressing the laptop to your belly, not able to return the embrace, "Okay, that's enough, Zen." You couldn't help but laugh.

When Zen pulled away from you, he winked again, "You look cute when you're angry."

You rolled your eyes again. Then you said goodbye to each other and you returned to Jumin's apartment in a slightly better mood. Jumin should be back from work soon. You wanted to spend time with him, just like that. You wanted to talk with him while drinking wine, Elizabeth on your lap and his smile in front of you.

To overtake the boredom and not let the unwanted memories to come back again, you logged in to the messenger. You've unfortunately found an amused Seven there. Because of what he wrote, you concluded that he had to read your morning conversation with Jumin. 707: lololololol

707: What is happening with our Mr. Director?

707: when he became so smooth?

707: lolololol [Saeran has entered the chat room] 707: oh, brother, you're here!

Saeran: he's like that only to this girl

Saeran: so it's obvious what is happening 

707: you mean Y/N?

707: what did you do to him yesterday night Y/N??

707:

You: I did nothing

You: and it's not really your business -_-

707: ooooh >_<

707: something has happened

707: I'm sure lololol

707: I want to know the details

707: 

Saeran: gross 

You: I agree

You: You're gross Seven

707: 

707: how could you brother?!

707: you should be on my side!

You: btw, it's nice to see you here, Saeran ^^

You: You rarely log in

Saeran: It's because you're all gross

You: .... -_-' and why is that?

Saeran: they're all wagging their tails in front of you

Saeran: like a bunch of dogs

707: Saeran

You: what's that supposed to mean?

Saeran: what? Are you dense or something?

707: brother

You: what do you mean dense? If you have a problem with me at least be more specific

You: or is it too much for your small brain?

Saeran: Ha!

707: brother what did I tell you

Saeran: ok I'll be more specific if you wish

707: about making Y/N angry?

Saeran: it's so freaking obvious that all of these guys

707: stop

707: she's gonna eat you alive!

Saeran: are so into you

Saeran: you're stupid for not seeing this

You: You're delusional you little bitch

Saeran: oh and what was that "Saeran it's nice to see you here ^^"?

Saeran: you want me to be your dog too?

You: you wish!

You: I'm way out of your league.

You: You're not even worthy of being my dog

You: You're not even worthy of being my PIG

You: no actually

You: If I ever had a pig, I would call it Saeran

Saeran: I don't want anything to do with you

Saeran: At this point, you already have your own harem

707: WAIT!

707: Am I the part of this harem?

707:

You: I don't have a harem

You: It's a kindergarten full of children

You: and Saeran, you're that one kid who always pretend to be sooo bold

You: but in reality, he's crying in the corner

You: desperately calling for his brother

You: "Brother where are you?! I'm scared!"

You: "Nobody likes me! I'm trying to be mean to everyone so that no one can hurt me first!"

707: Umm... Y/N.... That's a little harsh...

Saeran: .....

You: but wait, you're actually nice to Jaehee

You: maybe you're into her HMMMM?

707: 

707: wait

707: that is

707: actually

707: a good point!

Saeran: I'm leaving, bye. [Saeran has left the chat room] 707: WOW

707: You're scary when you're angry, Y/N

707:

You: I was not even that angry 

You: just teaching him some manners

707: don't be such a meanie to my brother T-T

You: I won't be if he stops being a dick

707: lolololol

707: I warned him

707: but he never listens

707: BUT ACTUALLY

You: don't

707: I kinda agree with him

707: I don't know about Yoosung

707: but Zen is sooooo into you

707: as much as our Mr. CEO

You: it's such an absurd

You: Zen is not into me

You: he's flirtatious toward everybody

707: and what about Juju?

You: mind your own business

You: seriously Choi twins you’re more alike than I thought

707: you're not denying~ [Y/N has left the chat room]

Jumin’s POV

He was remembering the kiss over and over again. Her lips were so soft and sweet, her body so warm. He wanted to possess her completely... But it was too soon. Way too soon. It would frustrate him if it were not for the fact that the thought of her waiting for him at home smoothed the whole anxiety anchored in him. This girl... She awakened and brightened his darkest desires at the same time.

When he came into the apartment, she greeted him with a smile that he returned. They ate together and talked, she asked him about his day, about whether he is tired after work. Her warmth and care overwhelmed him. He wanted to enjoy it until the end of the day, he wanted to fall asleep with these feelings, calm that he finally has someone just for himself. Unfortunately, it was not given to him. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. They were both surprised - who could worry them at this hour?

Of course, the bodyguard appeared first, "Mr. Han, a man named Yuwoon insists on letting him in. He says he knows Ms. Y/N."

Jumin immediately felt a surge of icy anger. He wanted to instruct the bodyguard to immediately escort this idiot out of the building, but suddenly Y/N spoke:

"I want to face him," She stated, her face tense. "I want to talk to him."

Jumin's hand twitched, his fingers clenched into a fist, "For what purpose?"

"If I don't talk to him and don't deal with him for good, he will never give me peace," She explained, looking him straight in the eye. She was fierce, confident.

Jumin inhaled deeply into his lungs. He closed his eyes and pressed his fist to his forehead. Then he nodded reluctantly, "Yoon, let him in and get out of here. Leave us alone."

Yoon did not look convinced, "Sir, are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I'll be right outside the door."

As soon as Yuwoon came in, Jumin understood at once that everything would end badly. The idiot's face had a suspicious smile.

"What do you want, Yuwoon?" Y/N asked coldly.

Yuwoon looked around the apartment, greed flashed in his eyes, "I see you've done well, honey."

"What do you want?" She repeated.

"You see, you must have forgotten that we share a flat and someone has to pay the rent."

"I don’t live with you anymore, Yuwoon, you have to deal with it alone."

"I don't think so. You found yourself a rich boy, I'm sure he could give me enough money to pay a rent for a few years forward. And if he does, then I promise to leave you in peace."

Jumin swallowed loudly, it was hard for him to breathe, but he did not interfere. Not yet…

"Who am I to you?" Y/N asked angrily. "The thing you want to sell?"

Yuwoon looked at her with a hideous smile, "You're just a hole whom I used to fuck."

Her face went pale, her eyes wide, her confidence flew away, "No... That can't be true... We were..."

"What? In love? I just used you. You're so stupid."

"That's enough," Jumin said icily.

"Now he's fucking you, so why are you sad? Do not pretend! You quickly filled this hole of yours with another dick!"

Y/N suddenly jumped to Yuwoon and pushed him so hard that he stumbled on his feet, "How dare you come here, whine about money and acting like you're jealous after you cheated on me! Who are you?! With whom I was for these few months?! "

"And how dare you raise a hand on me?!" Yuwoon rushed suddenly at her, he was about to hit her.

Jumin, however, overtook him. He grabbed the man by his wrist and squeezed so hard that Yuwoon groaned in pain, "You don't want to know what unpleasant fate may face you if you continue this. If I ever see you near her again, you'll regret it really badly. I have good lawyers, so I'm sure I won't have to worry about the consequences." "You're insane, you-Arrgh!"

Jumin squeezed his arm even harder, then grabbed him by the shoulder and led him violently towards the door. After opening them, he pushed the idiot outside in such a manner that he fell on the ground.

"Take this man out of here, and tell others that he’s not allowed to approach my building ever again," He ordered the bodyguard.

"Yes, sir!" Yoon quickly dealt with the situation. He twisted Yuwoon's hands behind his back and, despite his protests, took him out of Jumin's sight.

Jumin felt himself shaking with anger and rage. He shut the door with a loud bang and turned to face Y/N, "I shouldn't allow it," He hissed furiously. "I shouldn't let him in here! Why did you want him here so much?"

He approached her and she stepped back to the point her back hit the wall. He leaned his trembling hand against it above her head, "Why you insisted on letting him in?! He doesn’t deserve to look at you! He could hurt you!" His other hand went to her cheek and cupped it.

Suddenly, she grabbed him by his shirt and drew him to herself. Their lips met violently. His lungs  burned for lack of breathing, but he immediately responded. He clung to her, put his hands on her waist. Her fingers were digging into his arms, she moaned in such a voice, that he completely lost his control. He slipped his knee between her thighs, and she arched her back, whimpering his name straight into his mouth. His hands began to wander over her body, move around every roundness, examine every piece of her exposed skin. Her shaking hands grabbed his tie, drew him even closer, deepened the kiss. Jumin growled and took her face in his hands again. Then he felt... tears on her cheeks. He froze, his heart ached painfully.

"J-Jumin ..?" Y/N murmured in a weak voice, her lips brushing against his own.

"You... Why are you crying...?" He panted and withdrawn his head.

"I... I don't know..." Even more tears flowed down her face, her lips trembling. "I just..." She released his tie and clenched her hands on his shirt.

"It hurts, Jumin... I believed him, all these months, I trusted him... I had feelings for him... How could I ever love him…? How could I be so blind...?” She rested her head on his chest. "This is the worst... The fact that I still remember how he was when I fell in love with him... I still remember his other side, the good one... And it's so hard to forget how he used to be back then."

Her words hammered into his heart like daggers. However, he closed his eyes and hugged her tightly. She still... she still loved that idiot in a way. Such feelings don’t disappear at once, not after a few days. 

"So you wanted me to make you forget about him...?" He whispered into her hair.

"I'm sorry... I don't want it to look like that, I'll understand if you want me to leave."

"Do not say such things," He sighed deeply. "I know how difficult it is, I was blind too... And because of my blindness, V is dead…"

"It's not your fault," Y/N calmed down, looked at his face. "Please, Jumin, do not blame yourself for that."

Jumin stroked her cheeks and wiped her tears in silence. They slowly moved away from each other, and Y/N looked around, "Where is Elizabeth? She must have been scared."

She was not in the main room. She was not in the bedroom. She was not in the kitchen. They even searched in the bathroom, they were calling her by her name, checked under, above and behind the furniture, searched every corner.

She was nowhere to be found.

[benjamingarden]

This Month On The Farm: December 2020

  And just like that December is over.  Happy new year to all of you!  2020 was a bit of a crazy ride but all-in-all, for us, it was quite alright.  While we didn't have a great year financially, we really can't complain.  We learned that we could tighten our already tight financial belt even more.  With that it ensured our bills are paid, we have food in our pantry and freezers, the animals are very well taken care of, our business survived, and we had more time to spend on things we weren't finding time to get done in previous years.  

Please know that I am not trying to be insensitive to those who had tragic outcomes in 2020, rather, we are trying to focus on what went well for us.  On that same note I am super grateful we had made the decision not to move our business off of our farm so our overhead was limited.  We had struggled with that decision since we started the business and just about a year and a half ago made a final decision that we would not grow the business any larger than what we could handle ourselves in the space we've got.  

the mound on the left of this photo is my Jeep Grand Cherokee....

Well, Jay had been complaining that it didn't feel like Christmas a couple of weeks prior.  He said that because we didn't have snow he just wasn't feeling it.  Sooooo....I blame him completely for the 3 feet that were dumped on us shortly before the big day.  Yup - he is the one you can blame as well if you'd like.  It took a full 2 days to complete our snow removal - paths, deck, porches, and roofs and, since he does most of it, he was exhausted by the time it was done.  Of course he didn't much appreciate my singing of Christmas songs as we suited up to head outside for each round of shoveling or snow blowing.  Clearly he doesn't always appreciate my enthusiasm or talents.

Christmas was quiet, as it was just the two of us and the critters, so I made some special meals and treats to celebrate the day.  We basked in the hum and warmth of the pellet stove, binge watched the new season of Virgin River on Netflix, drank mugs of hot cocoa with extra marshmallows, and enjoyed a peaceful and relaxing day together.

And then Saturday I deemed a "no cook" day.  We had simple breakfasts, leftovers for lunch, and frozen pizza for dinner.  I did throw chicken wings in the air fryer for Jay's dinner as well, but it's no more difficult then throwing frozen pizza in the oven.  It was perfect.

Oliver & Jackson -  Let's start with updates on Mr. Oliver.  We took him to his consultation for alternative treatments to help keep him comfortable with his multiple herniated discs.  First, let me tell you that he had to finish up a round of a steroids in December and I am SO HAPPY it's over.  My goodness that boy was constantly starving!!  Steroids increase hunger and thirst and if he wasn't ravishingly hungry he was drinking a ton.  My day was spent feeding him, filling up his water bowl, and taking him out to go to the bathroom.  Repeat.  I also decided after the first morning of his poor bladder being so incredibly full he was clearly uncomfortable, that I would get up at 2a.m. every night to take him out to pee.  I did this until that darned steroid was out of his system.  I felt so bad for him.  He absolutely will not go potty in the house so he holds it despite the discomfort it causes.

His doctor decided that acupuncture and laser therapy were not necessary as of yet, so we purchased a therapy loop that she recommended to give him electromagnetic therapy at home.  She's hoping this will help keep the inflammation down for a while.  Eventually we will add in the other 2 therapies when needed.  He also has some stretches we do daily to keep his little body limber. 

He is not allowed to run, jump, etc. and we are keeping his walking to a minimum which is what the remainder of his life will be.  He is happy, seems to feel pretty good (we have to hold him back from trying to run, jump, etc.), and takes nice long naps so all seems to be well at the moment.  He will turn 11 in January and I think he's definitely feeling his age.

And then there's Jackson.  Actually, he's doing well.  He's the same - bratty but handsome, and is still loving his new routine of going to bed in his very own bedroom.  He LOVES taking his Rescue Remedy every night.  I have no idea why.  I do have to make sure the room is always "Jack-proofed" because he gets into anything and everything during his 7-8 hours of alone time.

In The Coop - We have EGGS!!!!  Jay is so happy.  Although we aren't getting many, at least we are getting an egg or two each day as of a week ago.  He's still rationing his use since he's not fully confident we will get them daily, but that will change soon I'm sure.

The Coop Girls are doing well.  They dislike the colder temps and absolutely detest that beautiful white snow.  When we leave their coop open they get so excited to run out and that lasts all of about 3 minutes.  Once they realize that there is snow everywhere except for their coop they return to their outdoor coop.  There's usually a lot of chatter after this is attempted each morning.  I suspect it's a bit of disappointment being shared amongst the flock.

Whole Wheat Honey Oat Bread

In The Kitchen - I've been making this recipe for Whole Wheat Honey Oat Bread (by King Arthur Flour) and we've been enjoying it.  If you happen to have any maple sugar lying around it is perfect in this bread.  I substitute out most of the white a/p flour with white whole wheat flour but other then that I follow the recipe exactly.  It's a fairly dense, sweet, and moist loaf that is perfect for morning toast or a sandwich where a slightly sweet bread would work.

I also made up a few batches of bean burgers (using 3 different recipes as guides) to store in the freezer for quick meals.  And as a surprise snack one day I made a batch of DELICIOUS Honey Butter Popcorn (it's good with or without the nuts).  If you add a touch of salt it's almost like a kettle corn (without the nuts) or cracker jacks (with the nuts) but not cloyingly sweet.  I altered it slightly by using a non-dairy butter and about 10-12 cups of popped popcorn (it calls for 6 cups) so it wasn't too sweet.  It was good even days later.

I also discovered a recipe for vegan Amaretti Cookies.  They are gluten free as well but the recipe does use refined sugar.  They are really good.  My husband (the anti-vegan) loves them.  After he ate 2 I told him they are almond flour and aquafaba.  After explaining what aquafaba was he said "why did you have to go and tell me there's chickpeas in my cookies???"  (Of course aquafaba is the chickpea cooking liquid not the beans, he was being dramatic)  I told him because I'd promised that I will always tell him what's in food he tries and never hide ingredients.  But I tell him AFTER he's tried the recipe of course!  😁  (p.s. mine look more like snowball cookies because they didn't crack but they were still delicious!)  He ate quite a few more over the course of a couple days and has requested them for this week's dessert.  So I guess he likes them!

What I've Been Reading - I haven't read as many books over the past month but I did read a few good ones. (affiliate links)

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine: A Novel by Gail Honeyman - this was a very different book for me to read but it was written so incredibly well.  A word of caution that it does deal with child abuse but it really is brilliant.  It's tragic, sad, funny, and enlightening.

The Twelve Dates Of Christmas: A Novel by Jenny Bayliss - apparent from the title it's a rom-com and a very well written debut novel.  I really liked the main characters and the little twists and turns of the story which is set in England.

The Clause In Christmas: A Poppy Creek Novel by Rachael Bloome - honestly, I really didn't think I would like this book.  I guess I thought it would be a bit too cheesy.  Quite surprisingly I enjoyed it (not cheesy at all).  It was light, the events were predictable, but I liked the characters and the storyline and it was a fun read.  It's the first of a series of five.

That's what happened around here in December!

This Month On The Farm: December 2020 was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

[stookly]

The suffrage of Chat Noir chp 4

Please be warned that themes in this fanfic are rated MA for mature! Please take caution when reading, will not be suitable for minors! Thank youuuuu. 

Alya hummed a happy tune as Marinette flipped through the pictures in her phone. “These are so awesome, you’re so talented, Alya.” She smiled, handing the phone back to her friend. “Hehe, thanks.” Alya giggled as she put the phone back in her purse and took another bite of the cake. “I mean, I know it’s just small stuff right now, but I’m just doing this on the side until I can find some more interesting stories out there. Plus, it helps as a build on portfolio.” “Well, I might have to hire you to shoot for my next line! Maybe you can advertise it on your website? I need some new customers. I’m kind of running on a dry spell right now.” Marinette sighed putting her chin in her hand and sipping from her wine. “Um...so...I have to ask, since you’re in that whole photography world--kind of anyways….have you heard from him yet?” Hopeful blue eyes waited on Alya’s answer.

Alya frowned and circled her fork on the icing of her cake, turning her gaze to the ground. “Sorry girl, Adrien has just been too busy. But he’ll probably come around at some point soon.”

Marinette slunk in her chair and groaned. “I haven’t heard from him either, and it’s killing meeeeee.” she whined. “Do you think he has a girlfriend in the states?!” She perked with worry, the pouty lip was coming into play again. The girl was always quick to jump to conclusions. Alya almost choked on her cake. “You know that he has his career in mind and not his dick right now, he’s probably just working extra hard. It’s more difficult to make a name for yourself in America than here in Paris.” She took another bite. “He had an advantage here with the whole famous designer dad and then...y’know.” She trailed off, trying not to make it all depressing.

Of course. Of course that wouldn’t be good for business either, so he’s probably having to work twice as hard and three times as long to make a real name for himself over there. Poor Adrien. Marinette couldn’t help but sigh in her wine glass. She wanted to help him so terribly. She had a hunch before about it and wanted to be wrong so desperately, but in the end...it tore poor Adrien apart, and he couldn’t stay here in Paris anymore from too many bad memories. He needed time to heal. At least, that’s what the rumors were saying. She wouldn’t have known that was just a cover Nathalie had to propose so as to not ruin the 19 year old’s career with the heavy drinking and slight drug use phase he was going through.

Alya looked at the slumped Marinette and smiled with a small giggle. “Cheer up, it won’t be long now. He’s probably due for a visit?” Marinette smiled with her. Alya was right, she needed to focus on her career just as much, so when he did come back, she could have confidence enough to ask for him to model her line.

“Sooooo,” Marinette started with a sneaky smile. “What's going on with you and Nino?” She played.

Alya’s lips puckered around her straw and she drew a small smile. “Weeellllll, I wanna tell you but he’d totally kill me if I did.” She winked for a minute, swinging her body so she could get more comfy in the chair, a leg crossing over the other as she laid back against the window. She placed a hand gently on her stomach, giving it a small rub. Marinette just blinked and gave a puzzling look, not really understanding the hint that Alya was trying to send her way. Alya tried again, giving bigger rubs to her stomach. Marinette blinked more and stared at her blankly. “Why?” She finally said. Alya groaned and put down her leg as she leaned forward in disappointment. Marinette was always the dense one. Alya knew this though, she should’ve known that she can’t give any clues to this nitwit. She just looked up at her friend and smiled. “Nevermind about us, another time.” She looked at the clock and stood, picking up her bag. “I’ve got to get going now, I’m suppose to be editing these and I gotta make some edits to my blog before I run the new clip.” She waved her friend goodbye and started to pick up the plates and empty glasses. Marinette adjusted the apron after placing the dishes into the sink. Hearing the bell at the front of the bakery made her look up at the clock. Whoever it was had only about 20 minutes left before closing, so they’d better be quick! She gave a small annoyed face but brushed it off with a smile. Marinette walked through the bakery doors, “Welco--” She stopped at the doorway, the kitchen door was left open with her standing in it. Her smile dropped. “Chat?..” The black cat hero stood in the doorway of the shop. He had a sloppy smile on his face and the green eyes behind his mask looked hazy. “Marinette...right? Course��this is your bakery, huh..” He wasn’t making sense. He chuckled and moved out of the doorway and deeper into the bakery, stumbling to the counter.

“A-are you okay?” She was weary to come to the counter and meet him. She stayed her place in the kitchen doorway.

“I’m fine, nothing that something sweet wouldn’t fix…” He walked the counter, a claw pressing up and scratching the glass as he eyed the cakes and pies, cookies and eclairs. Marinette slightly gasped, the glass! What was he doing?! He was gonna scratch it all up! “Chat, you haven’t been around for awhile. Is there trouble in Paris tonight?” She kept her focus on him, something didn’t seem right. She finally took her place at the counter, somewhat leaning over to eye the glass and check to see if it was okay. Nope. Definitely scratched. She grimaced and looked annoyingly at him. He walked his way to her and took a claw to her chin, picking it up slightly. “Sweet cherry lips...one of my favorites.” He smiled at her and winked.

She took a step back. He was always a flirt, that was no different. She looked him up and down. He smelled so strongly of alcohol. “Your eyes are just like hers, y’know…” He climbed the counter and hopped off on the other side. Marinette backed up against the other counter, overcomed with the drunken chat laying his body on hers and into an embrace. “You smell like her...you know how badly you both have messed me up.” He hiccuped, hugging Marinette tightly to him. “W-what are you talking about, Chat? Who--” Her eyes widened as she felt his lips on her neck. She pushed against him, but he was stronger in this form than she was. She needed to transform as soon as she could get away. “Chat!” She struggled.

“I can’t find her...I’ve been looking for her but she’s no where. So you’re gonna have to take her place for now.” He squeezed Marinette’s waist to his, a noticeable buldge rubbed against her lower stomach. He nipped at her neck, what he thought was a gentle nibble, but in reality drew a small spill of blood. Marinette let out a wince of pain and gathered her strength to push him off her. “What has gotten into you! You smell like a brewery!” She placed a hand on her bitemark and took it away for a second to confirm that she was indeed bleeding, then replaced the hand back along with an angry look towards him. “You need to get help, let me help you.” Chat smirked, “I know just how you can help me.” He started to unzip his suit, all the way down to his waist. Marinette’s face turned red. No! This wasn’t the time to be getting flustered! She looked away and then faced him again, side stepping closer to the kitchen door. He only followed her, swaying with the spinning room he was seeing. She kept her hands on the counter as she stepped, trying to blindly find something to strike him with. A tower of tea selections? She gripped it and swung it towards him, taking the chance that the surprise attack would jolt him. Marinette ran into the kitchen, screaming out, “TIKKI!!! TIKKI!! SPOTS ON!! SPOTS ON!!!!!!!” Her voice called throughout the kitchen as she ran, the swift Chat bursting through the door after her. He may have been clumsy, but he still had the speed of a feline on his side.

Chat slipped on the slightly floured floor as he made his way in front of Marinette, a drunken but evil laugh let from his mouth. She turned to run back out into the bakery, but was stopped with a gripped pull from Chat, claws digging into her wrist. “Whats that? Spots on? You callin’ for help? No one here Mari. Sorry little princess, you’re all mine.” He laughed harder, forcing her to the wall. He brought her other hand up to meet the other, holding them together with a paw, using the other to slide down her neck and over her breasts. “You’re fiesty, just like her too. It’s almost as if-”

“MARINETTE!” Tikki flew through the kitchen door.

“TIKKI SPOTS ON!” Chat’s grip loosened, he stepped back with a shocked look. He took a few steps but fell to the ground, slipping on his sloppy footsteps. “L-Ladybug..

[swimmerboys]

A Blue Hope

Sooooo I read a poem and was inspired to write a short (1,456 word) langsty fic. No ships, no deaths/injuries, just Lance and Blue doing some bonding. Hope you like it!!

---

The mission was simple enough, most intelligence missions went off without a hitch. It was almost routine at this point, Shiro, Hunk and Keith would catch a ride in the Green Lion, masked by its stealth capabilities. Allura and Coran would call shots from a secluded vantage point and Lance would use Blue to scan the base, giving a clear picture of what they were up against. It was kind of boring to Lance, really, he would sit and wait nearby looking for any fighters or any signs of oncoming trouble. Unless one of them was spotted, usually there wouldn’t be any.

Inside Blue he leaned back and closed his eyes, a soft robotic humm filled the cabin and he smiled. Blue was the best lion in Lance’s opinion, though he realized he might be a bit biased. She never failed to keep him cool in hot situations. If he was honest, Blue (and Yellow by extension) were the most vital part of Voltron. They literally lift the team up. But why him of all people? “Hey Blue,” Lance started “Why did you pick me over Keith?”

The soft robotic humming stopped and Lance sat up, a curious expression on his face “Blue?” he asked, a little concerned with the sudden silence. After a moment he took a breath and closed his eyes; images of the desert back on Earth flashed behind his eyelids and his eyes shot open “Woa, what was that?” he asked, looking around the cabin. 

The vast emptiness of space greeted him and his heart sank a little “Had me convinced there for a second Blue.” he let out a half hearted laugh and sighed, leaning back into his seat again “Show me more.” he whispered, his eyes closing again. Instantly the desert appeared, he could almost feel the heat and a smile spread across his face; it was like he was gliding across the desert and soon found himself in the cavern where Blue had been, only Keith was there. He frowned but kept his eyes closed. Blue showed him how often Keith came to the cave to explore, she showed him Galra commanders and countless others enter the cave, warriors, diplomats, scholars...over ten thousand years worth of visitors from various backgrounds and skills were drawn to her essence. Lance opened his eyes again.

“Why didn’t you choose any of them? They all seemed really qualified to be your paladin. More qualified than me at least, just a boy from Cuba tryin’ to make it big. A second rate fighter pilot with a knack for crashing the simulator.” he let out another half hearted laugh, his vision getting blurry from the tears welling up, threatening to overflow. “You could have had anyone.”

Blue got to her feet and let a low grumble, a growl almost, fill the cabin. Lance’s hands immediately went for the controls “What’s wrong? Are there enemies approaching?” he checked the scanners but it was still quiet. How long had it been at this point? Things were still going smoothly, that was good. Another growl filled the cabin and Lance sighed, closing his eyes once again. Obviously Blue wanted to finish explaining.

“You won’t believe what I see from this vantage point--”

Lance’s eyes shot open and his heart felt like it was going to burst. That voice. It was...his mother's? The tears that had welled up earlier over flowed, a rush of emotions taking hold of him. “B-blue...what..?” he choked out, wiping his tears. He knew they were linked but could Blue replicate his Mother’s voice so perfectly? It didn’t seem possible. Then again, with all he had seen up until now, anything was possible. He wiped his tears away and squeezed his eyes shut “Continue” he whispered, readying himself to hear a voice he never thought he’d hear again.

Behind his closed lids it was like an old home movie, pictures and moments with his family sped past him from the day he was born, to his last birthday at home, to meeting Hunk at the Garrison. Tears escaped his closed eyes as he let the warmth of the memories envelop him.

“--the years stretching out before you like a long and winding road. I don’t want to scare you, but there is a forest just up ahead. One so dense and dark, the sunlight won’t reach you for awhile. You will wander lost, in this long, perilous night, not knowing if it will ever come to an end. But believe me, the light will find you again, and when it does, you will no longer be afraid of the dark”

The memories stopped playing and he was alone in darkness, an image of himself running back towards the light of the moments just passed. His breathing became uneven, his legs felt like they would give, how long would this go on? He tried so desperately to grab hold but every inch closer was ten inches farther.

“Stop to catch your breath. Soon, a jagged mountain of ice will rise before you, so steep it will make you want to turn back around. Don’t despair; the first foothold is always the most difficult and every inch you claim of that cold, hard precipice will only make you stronger.”

Before him, the jagged mountain of ice appeared and he came to a halt, staring up at it’s height. The Galra’s insignia was carved into the side, taking up most of the face and glowing an eerie purple. A rage built inside him, because of them he was forced into this war. The only thing between him and his home was this empire of destruction. He took the first step, his legs burning from the running he had been doing, his hands gripping the icy rock surface. Determination glinted in his eyes. At first it was a slow pace up the mountain, his body protesting and the glint of determination fading. He began to recall how hard he worked to get into the Garrison, long days working for tuition and long nights studying to get in, how he had struggled his whole life to make a name for himself and stand out from his siblings. He couldn’t stop now, after he had come so far; the determination bubbled up again and his pace quickened. His sights set on the top.

“Before you know, the ground will level out beneath you, and you will look back to see you had conquered what you once thought impossible.”

As he reached the top of the mountain, the same familiar warmth appeared in the distance again and he took off. His body only moments before riddled with exhaustion, found new life to make the journey.

“See that turn just up ahead? That’s the place where love will meet you, with arms so warm it will melt away the winter in an instant. And then, it will be summer for a very long time.”

The warmth broke through the darkness and enveloped him, the light blinding him at first. The sound of waves and gulls filled his ears, the salty air brushed against his face; he didn’t need his eyes to know he was home. He dropped to his knees, the water rushing around him, tears flowing down his cheeks. He heard footsteps approaching and looked to their direction, his eyes finally adjusting and focusing on the woman before him.

“Mom…? M-Mom!” he shouted, getting to his feet and running headstrong into her arms. The feeling was indescribable to him and tears just kept falling “I love you. I’m so sorry I’ve been gone. I’m here now.” he whispered between sobs, clinging tightly to his mother. He looked up at her and she ran her hand softly down his cheek.

Then he opened his eyes. The vision before him wasn’t of his mother or the beach now, it was the inside of his cabin, nothing but a cold vast emptiness outside the windows. He dried his tears and took a shaky, calming breath. “I get it now. Thanks, Blue.” he gave a soft pat to the dash and radioed to his teammates “How’s it coming?”

“Just a few more ticks and we’ll be out. How do things look out there?” Pidge questioned through the comm

“Clear as glass.” he responded, checking the scanners again just to be sure.

He waited to see the Green Lion safely exit the base and followed them back to the ship. Back on the bridge, Allura and Coran gave congratulatory remarks for another successful reconnaissance mission while Pidge uploaded all the data. Lance quietly left the room and headed back to Blue’s hangar, climbing up and sitting on her nose, the same soft robotic purring started up and he pressed his hand to the cold metal “Best buds for life.” 

---

Just a little something that came to mind last night. The italicized excerpts are from Lang Leav’s poem “To Myself, Ten Years Ago” which inspired this piece actually cause I read it and I was like “LANCE.” The reason Blue chose Lance is that he overcomes any difficulties before him, his determination and love dives him to be an outstanding paladin, that’s why Blue picked him over anyone else. I haven’t written in awhile but I’m very proud of how this came out. Comments, likes, reblogs are all really appreciated! 

[benjamingarden]

This Month On The Farm: December 2020

  And just like that December is over.  Happy new year to all of you!  2020 was a bit of a crazy ride but all-in-all, for us, it was quite alright.  While we didn't have a great year financially, we really can't complain.  We learned that we could tighten our already tight financial belt even more.  With that it ensured our bills are paid, we have food in our pantry and freezers, the animals are very well taken care of, our business survived, and we had more time to spend on things we weren't finding time to get done in previous years.  

Please know that I am not trying to be insensitive to those who had tragic outcomes in 2020, rather, we are trying to focus on what went well for us.  On that same note I am super grateful we had made the decision not to move our business off of our farm so our overhead was limited.  We had struggled with that decision since we started the business and just about a year and a half ago made a final decision that we would not grow the business any larger than what we could handle ourselves in the space we've got.  

the mound on the left of this photo is my Jeep Grand Cherokee....

Well, Jay had been complaining that it didn't feel like Christmas a couple of weeks prior.  He said that because we didn't have snow he just wasn't feeling it.  Sooooo....I blame him completely for the 3 feet that were dumped on us shortly before the big day.  Yup - he is the one you can blame as well if you'd like.  It took a full 2 days to complete our snow removal - paths, deck, porches, and roofs and, since he does most of it, he was exhausted by the time it was done.  Of course he didn't much appreciate my singing of Christmas songs as we suited up to head outside for each round of shoveling or snow blowing.  Clearly he doesn't always appreciate my enthusiasm or talents.

Christmas was quiet, as it was just the two of us and the critters, so I made some special meals and treats to celebrate the day.  We basked in the hum and warmth of the pellet stove, binge watched the new season of Virgin River on Netflix, drank mugs of hot cocoa with extra marshmallows, and enjoyed a peaceful and relaxing day together.

And then Saturday I deemed a "no cook" day.  We had simple breakfasts, leftovers for lunch, and frozen pizza for dinner.  I did throw chicken wings in the air fryer for Jay's dinner as well, but it's no more difficult then throwing frozen pizza in the oven.  It was perfect.

Oliver & Jackson -  Let's start with updates on Mr. Oliver.  We took him to his consultation for alternative treatments to help keep him comfortable with his multiple herniated discs.  First, let me tell you that he had to finish up a round of a steroids in December and I am SO HAPPY it's over.  My goodness that boy was constantly starving!!  Steroids increase hunger and thirst and if he wasn't ravishingly hungry he was drinking a ton.  My day was spent feeding him, filling up his water bowl, and taking him out to go to the bathroom.  Repeat.  I also decided after the first morning of his poor bladder being so incredibly full he was clearly uncomfortable, that I would get up at 2a.m. every night to take him out to pee.  I did this until that darned steroid was out of his system.  I felt so bad for him.  He absolutely will not go potty in the house so he holds it despite the discomfort it causes.

His doctor decided that acupuncture and laser therapy were not necessary as of yet, so we purchased a therapy loop that she recommended to give him electromagnetic therapy at home.  She's hoping this will help keep the inflammation down for a while.  Eventually we will add in the other 2 therapies when needed.  He also has some stretches we do daily to keep his little body limber. 

He is not allowed to run, jump, etc. and we are keeping his walking to a minimum which is what the remainder of his life will be.  He is happy, seems to feel pretty good (we have to hold him back from trying to run, jump, etc.), and takes nice long naps so all seems to be well at the moment.  He will turn 11 in January and I think he's definitely feeling his age.

And then there's Jackson.  Actually, he's doing well.  He's the same - bratty but handsome, and is still loving his new routine of going to bed in his very own bedroom.  He LOVES taking his Rescue Remedy every night.  I have no idea why.  I do have to make sure the room is always "Jack-proofed" because he gets into anything and everything during his 7-8 hours of alone time.

In The Coop - We have EGGS!!!!  Jay is so happy.  Although we aren't getting many, at least we are getting an egg or two each day as of a week ago.  He's still rationing his use since he's not fully confident we will get them daily, but that will change soon I'm sure.

The Coop Girls are doing well.  They dislike the colder temps and absolutely detest that beautiful white snow.  When we leave their coop open they get so excited to run out and that lasts all of about 3 minutes.  Once they realize that there is snow everywhere except for their coop they return to their outdoor coop.  There's usually a lot of chatter after this is attempted each morning.  I suspect it's a bit of disappointment being shared amongst the flock.

Whole Wheat Honey Oat Bread

In The Kitchen - I've been making this recipe for Whole Wheat Honey Oat Bread (by King Arthur Flour) and we've been enjoying it.  If you happen to have any maple sugar lying around it is perfect in this bread.  I substitute out most of the white a/p flour with white whole wheat flour but other then that I follow the recipe exactly.  It's a fairly dense, sweet, and moist loaf that is perfect for morning toast or a sandwich where a slightly sweet bread would work.

I also made up a few batches of bean burgers (using 3 different recipes as guides) to store in the freezer for quick meals.  And as a surprise snack one day I made a batch of DELICIOUS Honey Butter Popcorn (it's good with or without the nuts).  If you add a touch of salt it's almost like a kettle corn (without the nuts) or cracker jacks (with the nuts) but not cloyingly sweet.  I altered it slightly by using a non-dairy butter and about 10-12 cups of popped popcorn (it calls for 6 cups) so it wasn't too sweet.  It was good even days later.

I also discovered a recipe for vegan Amaretti Cookies.  They are gluten free as well but the recipe does use refined sugar.  They are really good.  My husband (the anti-vegan) loves them.  After he ate 2 I told him they are almond flour and aquafaba.  After explaining what aquafaba was he said "why did you have to go and tell me there's chickpeas in my cookies???"  (Of course aquafaba is the chickpea cooking liquid not the beans, he was being dramatic)  I told him because I'd promised that I will always tell him what's in food he tries and never hide ingredients.  But I tell him AFTER he's tried the recipe of course!  😁  (p.s. mine look more like snowball cookies because they didn't crack but they were still delicious!)  He ate quite a few more over the course of a couple days and has requested them for this week's dessert.  So I guess he likes them!

What I've Been Reading - I haven't read as many books over the past month but I did read a few good ones. (affiliate links)

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine: A Novel by Gail Honeyman - this was a very different book for me to read but it was written so incredibly well.  A word of caution that it does deal with child abuse but it really is brilliant.  It's tragic, sad, funny, and enlightening.

The Twelve Dates Of Christmas: A Novel by Jenny Bayliss - apparent from the title it's a rom-com and a very well written debut novel.  I really liked the main characters and the little twists and turns of the story which is set in England.

The Clause In Christmas: A Poppy Creek Novel by Rachael Bloome - honestly, I really didn't think I would like this book.  I guess I thought it would be a bit too cheesy.  Quite surprisingly I enjoyed it (not cheesy at all).  It was light, the events were predictable, but I liked the characters and the storyline and it was a fun read.  It's the first of a series of five.

That's what happened around here in December!

This Month On The Farm: December 2020 was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)