#is loosing one teammate not enough drama?

[sga-mcshep-4ever]

It didn't work! It didn't work!" "It is still unclear." "What's unclear? Either it worked or it didn't." "They are trying to determine—" "Okay. Okay. They're everywhere!" "You are experiencing a hallucination." "Oh, my God."

[purplereina11]

Based on this request

Warnings: Smut

Your classic enemies to lovers

Chelseas number 1 goalkeeper breaks the highest transfer fee to join Barcelona where she becomes teammates with Aitana Bonmati who had nothing nice to say in there last champions league meeting

______________________________________________________________

You were stood in the tunnel at Stamford Bridge the who’s who of women’s football around you, to your left Barcelona Captain Alexia Putellas, fully focused on the task in hand to name one of many. Champions League nights were special. You heard every player say the same that was lucky enough to get to play Champions League football. It was the one trophy that left an empty space in your trophy cabinet. It was a hole you looked at every time you were home every year when it slipped through your finger tips the desire to win it grew more and more.

“Y/N” You looked over your shoulder at your goalkeeper coach calling your name, he held up a towel and you shook your head you already had one in hand. Your eyes wandered along the Barcelona line up trying to remember all the studying you’d been doing for yet another meeting with the European Giants, both teams dominate in there respective leagues, they’d won the champions league however. Something Chelsea had yet to achieve.

Your eyes found a pair staring right at you, multi decorated Midfielder Aitana Bonmati, your face stayed stoic as she attempted to stare you out, “I score past you tonight” she mouthed, you got a shit eating grin at the comment before turning your head back where Millie Bright seeing the interaction gave you a stiff nod

“We’ll see” you muttered to yourself, your pride wouldn’t allow her to score past you now after the arrogance was projected towards you, you were billed as the worlds best goalkeeper your ego couldn’t allow it, two greats in there position in the sport, you had to come out on top.

You took a deep breath as the music kicked in and put one foot in front of the other out into a packed out stamford bridge, it would be a nightmare to find your family after the final whistle. But you remained focused on the task ahead, the handshakes went by with no drama, Aitana keeping her comments to herself but making sure to hold eye contact as she passed. You had watched a lot of tapes but it had you thinking you should study whether she did this with every goal keeper before the game to try and sit rent free in there heads.

“They will press high, we know that, they will have a lot of possession, we know that. If we are strong in defence and midfield and we ride the wave, our times will come” Millie started, “We need to be clean and clinical and make most of the chances we get, we can do this team! Blues on three”

“Blues” you called and headed down to your goal for the first half in front of the Barcelona fans who travelled in droves, who were loud passionate and up for a night of football under the lights.

Barcelona came out the blocks quickly it was wave after wave of attacks and shots, you and your defence managed well, they had shots on target but so far none had crossed the line. The Chelsea crowd were fired up after some world class saves from you which was keeping Chelsea in this first leg, you read the game like no other goal keeper from your position. You were in constant communication with your defence making sure they were all on the same page and it paid off you got to half time nil - nil.

You were walking across the pitch as the subs flooded off the benches balls at there feet, you were juggling your towel and water bottle too busy in your head to notice a certain Spanish midfielder had slowed her pace in front of you to let you catch up. “You good” You rose her eyes, “Shame you play for losers”

You found the amusing side, just nodding, “Ok”

“It a fluke” She carried on, “You can’t keep that up in the second half. You loose like you always do, we’re better than you”

You went walking by staring at her as she got to the tunnel Millie Bright waiting, she knew you had a fiery side when pushed and it seemed Aitana was on a mission to push you, “You’ll actually have to have a shot on target next half then” Aitana the only player who got shots off to not get them on target that half, you stared the shorter player down as Millie smacked your back as you went walking by, and into the home dressing room to your manager really pleased with your performance.

You took your seat and tried to not let Aitana in your head, were they better than you? They had beat you every time you’d come up against each other. But you weren’t the same keeper they met in the final a few years back or even last year. You’d got your nutrition right, you’d leaned up gotten stronger your confidence growing and making your abilities grow. You were spoken about as the current best goalkeeper in the world so why was she affecting your mood and confidence.

It was bothering you but you could do nothing to stop her having the effect from two small interactions, there were little ear worms whispering all your insecurities to you during the 15 minute break. As you came back out for an important 45 minutes jogging towards the goal behind the home fans cheering you, you smiled clapping them.

She turned and there was Millie Bright pointing to her head to tell you to get out of it, she knew you too well.

45 seconds later however you had your back to the box hands on hips staring at the Chelsea crowd booing the penalty decision, you shook your head to yourself, as you spun there was Aitana yet again. “All that hard work for your defence to ruin it in 45 seconds” You just held eye contact as you walked by, “Shame”

You motioned with your hand for Aitana to keep talking, “Get the fuck out my box” The referee removed the players from the box as Alexia was placing the ball the referee felt the need to remind you your feet had to be on the line. You bounced around on the line stretching your arms up as you racked your brain from all your studying which way she was more likely to go.

The noise was deafening when you went the right way and swallowed the ball up saving the penalty, “Will you stop antagonising her, it’s making her better” Alexia said to Aitana who looked over her shoulder as she jogged away

“Fuck off” you yelled to no one in particular fully fired up for the next 45 minutes, you were set for a ground breaking clean sheet and draw against Barcelona when yet again a penalty was awarded, you were fizzing it was stupid; reckless, and when a different face stepped up to take the penalty and it went soaring past you even though you went the right way. You were done.

You lay on the grass where you fell stared up at the sky the face you saw was Millie’s offering her hands to get you up.

You knew soon as the restart was taken the whistle would blow so you started gathering your things and sure enough as you started walking out your box there was the whistle.

You slapped the hands of the Barcelona girls Keira Walsh and Lucy Bronze stopped you to talk to you. You managed a smile but it soon faded as Aitana was making her way over she greeted both her teammates before turning her attention to you.

“Don’t start” you almost pleaded you weren’t in the humour for what she had to say, Keira and Lucy’s faces were a picture having missed the comments previously made.

Aitana smirked, “Told you we’d win”

“No you said you’d score past me which you never” you were looking down slightly at the shorter women in close proximity.

“You’re defence screwed you”

“I’m aware”

“You need to make big chances before you come for the second leg in Barca”

“I don’t need to do anything” you looked to your England teammates bid them a goodbye but as you started to leave, she of course just had to follow you.

“You need to sort your back line out” you ignored her comment but she said it again, “You need to sort your back line out”

You turned and faced the Ballon d’or winner, “I don’t need to sort anything, she made one mistake and we paid for it, we’re human it happens.” You pulled the locker room door open, “Just go away go celebrate you won yay!”

“Y/N”

You sighed turning back to her, “What?”

“You should come play for Barca”

You screwed your face, “Oh fuck off” your eyes met her captains tapping her side in a silent plea to come away.

“I’m being serious, come play for the winners”

“Broke Barca can’t afford me” you said before going in side the door letting it close behind you, “What the fuck was that?” You yelled into the locker room, you weren’t happy at Chelsea that much was obvious. Despite being top of your league and seemingly unbeatable you felt disjointed from your team. You weren’t appreciated here that much was obvious.

There was an uneasy air in the locker room constantly everyone had there ego everyone thought they were the sole reason for success. Fingers were quick to be pointed.

“You should of saved that penalty”

You stared at your teammate, “I did! Then you fucking gave away another for no reason! They had 45 shots on target the only one to go in was because of your mistake, this ain’t on me!”

This was the game when you got home, you expressed to your agent you needed to get out. You instructed him in the upcoming transfer window to put feelers out. You couldn’t play in this environment anymore. You needed out.

+

As you were preparing a bag to catch a plane to Barcelona for a medical Aitana was hearing the rumbling rumours around training and it put her in a mood.

“What?” Aitana asked hearing what she thought she heard and needed clarification

“Y/N” Alexia spoke, “She’s coming here for a medical”

Aitana shook her head, “No” Alexia laughed as her friend started walking away

“What do you mean no?”

“She should stay in London we don’t need her here”

Alexia laughed at her comment, “What are you talking about of course we do!” Alexia jogged after her, “Why do you have a problem with her?”

“Don’t like her”

“Why?” Alexia smiled at Aitana, “It makes no sense”

“Just don’t, she’s cocky”

“I think she can be with how good she is” Alexia put her arm around Aitana’s neck, “If she does come here, play nice, if you get past the wall, she’s lovely”

“What do you mean if?”

“Keira and I spoke to her this morning, we’re not the only club that has put an offer in”

“In Spain?”

“No, the world, Cata is out Aitana she’s the best replacement, we need her the other two don’t have the experience we need for the big competitions”

“Why did you speak to her?”

“Barca want her, they wanted me to try to persuade her”

“Did they offer enough money?”

“I don’t know Aita, that’s not something i would be involved in”

+

You shocked the world when Barcelona announced your signing with them on the closing day of the transfer window that had up until that point had been relatively quiet and uneventful. There had been no rumours, no idea, you hadn’t even been reported on wanting to leave you were never apart of the transfer window conversations. It had been kept so under wraps even some of your new and former teammates had no idea.

The rumours quickly circulated. You were the highest paid goal keeper in the world. Highest reported transfer fee not only for a goalkeeper but for a female player which was groundbreaking for the position.

You were obviously a bit nervous on your first day but the staff were lovely and the players you’d met were just as nice and welcoming. You were hugging old friend Ellie Roebuck when a voice behind you spoke, “We had enough money for you then i see”

You took a breath as you turned and there was the slighter frame of Aitana, you couldn’t help the amused little smirk as her hand extended to you. “Seems so” you gripped her hand shook it neither of you wanting to break eye contact it seemed, it was a power move.

“Welcome”

“Thank you”

Aitana loosened her hand from yours as Ellie stood as a passenger to the rollercoaster of nice to angst once again, feeling like she was intruding. “Let’s hope we get our moneys worth out of you then”

You laughed gently, “There she is, always a comment”

Aitana was walking away and made yet another comment, “Someones got to keep that big head of yours under control”

“Aita” you heard a voice come from the locker room she was entering say in a warning tone almost like they were defending you not that you knew the voice.

+

You and Aitana made your team laugh over your first couple of weeks together at the team one of you always had a comment. Alexia said you were like an old married couple always bickering, you just wish you could divorce out of this weird dynamic you’d grown used to.

You had your head in your hands in the canteen, you were reading over your Spanish lesson homework over and over again but it just wasn’t going in. You were never good at languages at school, you just didn’t have that brain for it. You forgot the english words for things a lot of the time let alone another languages translation.

You sighed then froze when a cup of tea was placed just on the edge of your vision, you rose her eyes as Aitana was lowering onto the seat opposite you. “Struggling?”

You leant your chin on her hands, “That obvious?”

Aitana actually cracked a smile something that caused you to smile, “You were staring at the same question when i was in here 20 minutes ago”

You rolled your eyes at yourself, “Thanks for the tea” you grasped the mug in both hands raising it to your lips

“May not of made it right, I’ve never made tea before today”

You took a sip and it warmed you through, settling the anger brewing at yourself for not even understanding the basics “It’s perfect thank you”

Aitana dragged the sheet from between your elbows on the table reading over it, “This is quite simple”

“You speak Spanish!” You defended yourself with a laugh of disbelief, “Of course it’s quite simple to you”

Aitana pointed, “What’s this?”

“Hello”

Aitana gave her a unamused look, “No. In Spanish”

“Oh, you want me to just read it” You felt a bit nervous your accent didn’t lend itself to the Spanish language, Aitana smirked, “Are you here to just laugh at me?”

“No. I came to help” You sipped her tea unsure what to say, “You want help?”

“From you? Not really but i need it”

Aitana slid the paper back, “I got your number from Keira, i’ll text you”

“What?”

And with that Aitana left leaving you behind alone once again even more confused than when she first arrived. Aitana never seemed to have a good word to say about you or to you but her actions were the opposite. She’d hand you water on the water break, she would translate for you in training when your face showed just how confused you were, she’d make sure you knew where you were going around the facility when she noticed you wander by for the fourth time looking for something.

There just was always that comment afterwards though. That reality check.

+

You couldn’t believe you were even doing this, Aitana had invited you over to her home to help you with your Spanish. You paused before you knocked on her apartment door after she’d buzzed you through the main door. “Hola, por favor entra.” You looked lost as Aitana stepped aside, “Hello, please come in” she repeated in your native tongue and you stepped inside. You eyed her dining table she’d got a bottle of wine waiting with two glasses.

“Wine in the afternoon?” You asked turning to her

She hummed as she moved by her, “Too numb the pain” Aitana sat pointing, “Sit” Aitana could be quite blunt it was a taste of your own medicine you could be just the same, all your friends said you didn’t always have a filter and didn’t let your brain process before your mouth started moving.

“Sentarse” You tried the word for sit Aitana raising her eyes as she poured you a glass of rosé.

“Close enough”

“You’re a harsh teacher” you mumbled sitting down beside her, she had copies of your Spanish work with the team, she’d gone to an effort which shocked you. “Where are we starting?”

“The beginning is a good place no?” Aitana sipped her wine after clanking her glass into yours without warning causing your other hand to come up to grip the glass you almost dropped. Smooth.

“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you”

“Stupid doesn’t suit you” You frowned at Aitana, now there was no need for that. “Come on” Aitana patted the papers.

“Do you know what? No” You got back to your feet, “I thought you were doing this too be kind, clearly you just want to belittle me, forget it” you grabbed your coat and left before Aitana even had a chance to tell you otherwise or apologise, the chill of the cool evening air hit you as you began the walk back to your own place. You felt stupid enough without Aitana pointing it out and now you felt stupid for a different reason, you thought she was being nice, making the effort. You were gullible and a fool for falling for her small semblance of kindness she’d paid you earlier that day. You hated yourself for being so free and available you could agree to just go round at the click of her fingers, she wasn’t being in control you promised yourself that.

+

You got into training the following morning and you found a book on your seat, you picked it up and by the title you knew exactly who it was from. Spanish for dummies. “Funny” you muttered to yourself dropping it back down to the left slightly so you could sit down and begin to get ready. It would take more than a peace offering, was it even a peace offering towards you was she getting more creative in her attempts at insulting you.

“What are you doing tonight?” Ellie appeared

“I’m busy” you muttered pulling your training top down over your torso

“Doing what?” Ellie questioned the confusion and intrigue all over her face

“I’m just busy that’s all you need to know”

“Do you have a date?” You rose your head now it was your turn to look confused at the instant assumption, “What? Usually you go all secretive when you’re dating”

“No I don’t”

“You do” Keira said as she went to walk by but stopped, “Are you?”

“No!” You exclaimed, “I’m just busy”

Both girls gave you odd looks moving away, they didn’t know why you were in a mood nor did they want to risk asking, “Te gusta tu libro?” Aitana asked taking ear rings out as she walked by, you just stared at her, she called you stupid yet insisted on speaking to you in Spanish despite knowing you could barely say hello. “Do you like your book? The more you listen the more you learn” she said taking her seat to put her boots on.

“The more you talk the less I listen” you fired back with getting to your feet to head out to the training pitch, “Au revoir”

“That’s French” Aitana pointed out a little too quickly for your liking, it was like she almost expected it from you

“I knew that” you exclaimed not turning around hearing the laughs coming from the other girls, you missed the smile Aitana watched you leave with on her face.

“Adios” Aitana called after you, you clicked your fingers your finger coming up in a eureka moment

“That’s the one” You smiled at the goalkeeper coach and got straight to work with him and Ellie, you felt happy on the pitch with one of your oldest friends from England Camps doing your drills through laughter. You were grabbing water on the hot day for Barcelona in January you found yourself watching the outfield players. One in particular.

“She’s too innocent for you”

“Huh?” You looked to Ellie who probably knew you the best, your friendship had been mainly over texts phone call Facetimes and weekend sleepovers over the years but you found yourself opening up to her a lot.

“Aita.. far too innocent for you”

“Oh give over” you shook your head, “She’s barely even a friend” Ellie rose her eyebrows sipping her water, “Shut up” you rose your voice at her

Ellie laughed, “I didn’t even speak”

“You didn’t have to, you have very expressive eyebrows!” You waved your hand at her, “If you’ve not noticed we’ve not got a nice word to say to each other”

“I have noticed”

“Then drop it” You however could not, “I mean I get it, she’s won award after award after award but does she really have to have a comment on everything” Ellie smirked listening to you ramble, “Like every way I turn she’s there with a comment thinking she’s funny or something I don’t know what her game is I think she’s been put on this earth to piss me off and you know what pisses me off she’s pissing me off”

“Do you want to say piss one more time?” Ellie dropped her water bottle back into the cooler as the outfield players were heading over for there water break. 

“Do I want to know?” Lucy Bronze asked with a little smirk at your exasperated expression and Ellie’s amused one

“Can we drop it?”

“You have to stop talking about her for us to be able to drop it”

“Her?” Keira asked, “Who’s her? You have a her?” Keira put her hands together, “Are you finally settling down?” You were known for your ‘fuck boy’ ways back home, why settle down when you could have your fun with whoever you wanted to when you wanted. You didn’t have to meet parents, sit through laborious family meals with people you had to pretend to like because you were fucking their daughter sister niece who ever it may be. Your sex life was once described by Millie Bright as outrageous with the stories you would tell her during practice, you knew your way around women and you liked to be in charge. It was just the way it had to be you didn’t like not being in control. Leah Williamson’s comment she stole from fifty shades of grey on your sex life summed it up perfectly, I don’t make love, I fuck.

Lucy pointed, “Did you see that?” Lucy moved closer to Keira pointing, “Just there, did you not see it?”

“See what?”

“A pig just flew by”

Lucy got a smack from Keira and you in synchronicity getting a yelp back from her as she laughed at her own joke.

+

You were alone in the changing room you looked to your right at the Spanish book, you picked it up and flicked the first few pages, you soon found a post-it note, go to page 259

You did as you were told and saw Sorry and its Spanish translation highlighted, Aitana had a sense of humour. You didn’t know whether she was saying sorry to you or teaching you the word to say sorry to her but either way. It made you smile. “Are you coming for those drinks Y/N?” Ingrid smiled as she was about to head out after coming from the bathroom.

You nodded with a little smile, “I am”

“Do you want a ride? Come with me and Maria if you want?” You took Ingrid up on her offer enjoying the conversation you had with the couple in the car, “You’re nothing like we thought you’d be”

You looked at Ingrid as she looked at you in her rear view mirror, “Looks can be deceiving” you smiled getting a finger gun action from Maria for your humour.

“You obviously naturally hear stuff to” Ingrid carried on, “And make assumptions right or wrong”

“We all do it” You spoke looking out the window still in awe of just how pretty this city is, you thought in the four years you were under contract here for you’d never not be impressed by it.

“You have tattoos?” Maria asked

You nodded, “Mainly on my legs and I have a few on my back” you smiled at Maria, “My mum always told me, Y/N don’t get them anywhere you can see them in your wedding pictures and dunno. Just never have” you laughed at yourself at the absurdity of it. 

“My mami never gave me the same advice” You both laughed as Ingrid smiled, you soon arrived at the privately hired bar the whole team was here even some of the staff, you were told the staff usually didn’t drink and left early so the team could let there hair down together. You found a seat with the better English speakers notably the lionesses on the team which due to her friendship with Keira, Aitana was this end of the table too.

You looked brooding and unapproachable as you sat, muscular arms on show leaning on the table sipping your beer your cap on backwards as conversations went on around you. You were deep in thought. Her eyes moved as the chair beside you became occupied, “Hola” Aitana spoke, you didn’t say a word, “I shouldn’t of called you stupid”

“No” your beer came back to your lips, “You shouldn’t” you took a swig, eyes going back out to the dance floor of your teammates and staff.

“You don’t look sensitive”

You couldn’t help the little sly smile amused by that comment, “I’m very sensitive” you sat back folded your arms your muscles bulging, you noticed Aitana look, her eyes froze in yours when she saw you looking. The eye contact went on far longer than you expected, maybe you were having a staring contest you weren’t aware of. But whatever the reason you weren’t looking away first. You got a smirk on your lips as you chewed your gum, “Can i help you?”

You smiled as she finally looked away, “You’re annoying” Your eyes scanned over Aitana as she blushed profusely.

“Stop looking at me”

“Why?” You matched her whisper turning your body more towards her, your knee brushed hers as you rested your cheek against your clenched fist giving her your full attention knowing it was making her nervous.

“Just don’t”

You leant on your thighs, “Why?” Aitana looked back into your eyes, you could see the curiosity she had for you. Maybe that’s why she was mean to you? Keeping you at arms length, keeping you from getting close enough to see that adorable blush your gaze gave her.

“Eres exasperante” Aitana got to her feet grabbed her drink and off she went leaving you chuckling to yourself as Ellie arrived back from the bar

“Are you tormenting Aitana?” She sat in the seat that had previously been occupied, “I don’t want to come across as rude or that I’m gossiping”

“But you’re going to be rude and gossip?” You smiled getting a dig in your thigh for the cheek.

“I don’t know whether it’s a joke or not and I’ve not asked but they call her the virgin Mary”

“Surely not”

“Why are you judging?”

You frowned at the attitude you got from Ellie, “I’m not! I’m just saying isn’t she like 30”

“She’s 27”

You rolled your eyes moving your knees back under the table readjusting your cap, “Semantics Ellie”

“I’m just saying-“

“I know, too innocent” You assured Ellie you weren’t interested and you found it funny how easy it was to make her blush and torment her. Since she enjoyed seemingly belittling you. “You’re ignoring the fact i’m not interested”

You entered the bathroom and her eyes rose to look at you in the mirror, “Is this a quick staring contest or? I need to pee you see”

Aitana was stone faced as she turned you couldn’t help the smile as she stared you out walking by to leave.

“Great talking to you” you said as the door closed behind her shaking your head going to do your business.

+

You were sat in your Spanish class with Ellie wagging your pencil as you listened your eyes moved as your phone buzzed

Could you look anymore lost

You sucked your teeth and moved your eyes to the window that over looked the training pitch seeing the back of Aitanas head as she went walking by. You shook her head to yourself and soon enough you were thanking your teacher and heading out done for the day.

“Hielo” you looked in the direction of the voice it was Aitana at her car, you had no clue she’d called you Ice as a nickname

“Did you just shout yellow at me?”

Aitana giggled at your stupidity, “Hielo”

You looked dumbfounded as she stopped in front of her car, “You’re literally saying yellow”

“I’m not saying yellow”

You rolled your eyes, “Whatever, did you need me for any in particular or just to-“

“Come for a coffee with me” Aitana smiled ever so slightly, “I’ll help you with your Spanish i promise i won’t call you stupid”

You nibbled your lip as you thought about, “Fine but only because i have a stupid test on Friday”

“Entra”

You stood for a second, “i’m going to assume thats along the lines of get in the car” Aitana didn’t speak she just got in and closed the door before you moved to join her and she took off before you even got your seatbelt on

+

You actually cracked a smile whilst tucked away in a corner with Aitana, you liked when she looked happy that you got something right. “It’s going in”

“It’s got to stay there yet” you mumbled before sipping your coffee, you glanced to Aitana and snapped your head back when she was watching you. “What?”

“Nothing” Aitana turned the page, “Not sure how learning animals is going to help you in training” You smiled she was so serious sometimes that it was cute.

“I know the animals”

“Of course you do” Aitana flipped the page rather aggressively, you giggled to yourself lowering your head, “What’s funny?”

“You” you looked to her with a bright smile the amusement plastered all over your face it was making your eyes sparkle. They looked bluer than they normally would.

“Shall i storm out?” Aitana was funny, you were coming around to the fact she was blunt and to find the amusement in it. You’d be assured a few times just like yourself when you got past her wall she was actually the sweetest human being

“You caught me on a bad day”

“Clearly, you don’t seem the type to be bothered easily”

“I’m not usually, but moving countries and clubs can be stressful” Aitana watched you with eyes that told you to carry on as she must of known there was more to your little outburst. “We’re a big birthday family, I missed my nieces birthday, its stupid but I-“

“It’s not stupid, how old was she?”

“2.. her dad said she was asking for me all day, just hard because she doesn’t understand but its something i’ll have to get used to, I was lucky enough to always be able to be there for family things.”

Aitana looked over you, “When do you see them next?”

“No idea”

+

It was ridiculous you were more nervous for your Spanish exam than you were for your Barcelona debut, you had a team to let down in the latter, but the hours Aitana had put into the former to help you made you obscenely nervous for you to fail. You wanted to do this for her, you wanted to do well for her to prove you were listening whenever she thought you weren’t. The late nights studying worth it, staying later after training and seeing her on her off days when she didn’t have to see your face, worth it. For her.

You’d had so many coffee meetings, meals at both your houses one night it got a little, flirty.

“You’re doing it again?” Aitana spoke as you both sat on the same corner of her table.

“Doing what?”

“Flirting”

“Oh” you paused as you were building your next fork full, you didn’t mean to. You were told how flirty you were it was just who you are. You do it without even realising it was something that had never registered with you that that’s why women seem to throw themselves at you. You flirted. You were hot. It was like putting petrol on a fire it was bound to blow up. “Sorry” you knew it made your new friend nervous you couldn’t help it.

“No” you moved your head that quick to Aitana that your head went a little fuzzy, “Don’t apologise people never flirt with me, ever, makes a change” Maybe they were right, was she a virgin? Surely she’d have to of flirted before if she had been physical with someone.

“What never?” You softened and lowered your shock when she blushed, “Or, are you just oblivious to it?”

“I picked up that you were, however unintentionally it was” she finally moved her eyes to yours, “So, no people don’t flirt with me”

“I may unintentionally flirt with you sometimes because i’m told that’s just my personality but, I can flirt for real if you want?” Aitana laughed, it was out of nerves but it came across as dismissive, “What?” You asked lowly scooting a bit closer, “Scared?”

“Of what?”

You smiled when Aitanas eyes were fixed to you biting your lip then it dropped to the hand you respectfully placed on her thigh but let your fingertips dip to the inside making their presence known. “You’ll end up naked on this table if i do”

Aitana removed your hand shaking her head, “You’re ridiculous”

You cracked a smile, “Tell me you weren’t turned on”

“I wasn’t”

A hand covered your heart, “You wound me”

“Every other girl may fall for your charm, those blue eyes and that smile of yours but I didn’t” You laughed as you continued eating

“Didn’t? Or wouldn’t?”

You got a smack from Aitana as you both laughed, “What’s your number?”

“My number? You have my number”

“No” she spoke softly, “I meant, how many people have you slept with?”

You made a noise, as if you were debating something, “That’s a tricky one”

“Too many to count”

You gave a bored look to Aitana, “What’s yours?”

“I’m not telling you that”

“Then why should I tell you mine?” You shrugged, “I enjoy sex i’m not ashamed of that, i like naked women, i like touching naked women, i like naked women touching me-“

“I get it”

+

You found yourself wanting her to feel pride in you. When you knocked on her door as promised to tell her your results she looked more nervous than you did. “Well?”

You smiled ever so slightly putting the woman out her misery, “I got a B”

“Really?” Aitana got so happy she leapt into you, you let out a chuckle as one of your arms came around her, her lips attaching to yours sloppily. When they disconnected she looked just as confused as you did. “What was that?”

“…a kiss” she whispered, your free hand came to her cheek as you leant in whispering

“No it wasn’t.. this is though” You closed your lips around hers faintly, Aitana looked up at your eyes luminous when you pulled your head back to gauge her reaction. She didn’t recoil in horror she didn’t create distance she didn’t stop you when you drew her closer pressing her firmly against your body.

You pressed your lips more firmly against hers this time, she was so trusting so vulnerable as your mouth moved on hers. You could have easily got carried away in the moment, she was closer now than she’d ever been and it still didn’t feel enough. You wanted more of her. You needed more of her as your whole body seemed to light on fire, your body begging for just one of her hands to touch you, find its resting place somewhere. Anywhere. You didn’t take more, enjoying the way Aitana lips seemed to be made for kissing. They were plump, soft, the bottom one slightly fuller than the top, they gave into the slightest pressure allowing your tongue entry. It sent your heart racing as suddenly her hands were pressed to your stomach her fingers scrunched down into a fist gripping your shirt. The way her fingers bounced over your abs; if your mouth wasn’t busy it would have groaned at the feeling.

The kissing became more frantic led by Aitana the anticipation building, your body’s in sync as her arms came around your neck while your body dipped to reach your hands to the back of her thighs to lift her. All the tension you’d had with Aitana ebbing away as you hit the counter lowering Aitana to perch on it. All the rigidity between you dissipating as your bodies had a silent conversation.

You were incredibly turned on, it was taking every fibre of your being to not just rip her clothes off and have your way with her. You liked submissive, the doe eyes of Aitana, the rumour she wasn’t that experienced. It laid itself to you and your need to control in the bedroom.

You ran a hand up her thigh giving it a tantalising squeeze at the top as your mouth went wandering, her neck craned back giving you unbridled access, your hot breathe could be felt on her neck before your lips attached. She removed your cap her fingers getting lost in your hair at the back of your neck and as your tongue dragged from the bottom to the top you almost came at the sweet noise she let out.

Your lips came close to her ear, “How far do you want to go?” You whispered, your movements paused as you waited for the answer, it felt like an eternity until Aitana slipped off the counter top her body rubbing down yours in the tiny gap there was. She held eye contact as she took your head and you were being led through her home, you went by the bathroom the last room you were familiar with.

You found yourself in her bedroom you instantly took a seat on her bed leaning back on your hands, you glanced to your lap, “Sit” your pupils darkened as she slipped onto your lap, she was the one to reconnect your lips she was the one to rid you of your shirt. Your eyes soaked up every inch of her when she moved backwards to take her top off, your bottom lip dragged between your teeth. You noticed her nerves you leant forward kissed her lips as you unclasped her bra with one hand before discarding it to the floor, you rid yourself of your own as Aitana held your face as you kissed. The heat soon found its way back again, your hands gripping her arse you got her to move her hips against you with silent encouragement.

The friction of the fabrics Aitana clearly enjoyed her head going back pulling a gap between your chests you latched your mouth to her breast giving her a hint of just what your tongue could do.

Something switched in you when she tugged at your hair looking down at you with a pleased smirk. The idea of letting the nervous Aitana think she was in control left your brain as you stood with ease holding Aitana with one arm turning a knee going onto the bed as you put her on her back. You rid yourself of your remaining layers before dragging them off Aitana.

You reconnected your lips as your hand rubbed up and down her most sensitive area before testing the waters dipping a finger inside of her. Her lips ripped from yours as she gasped at how deep you went, you dragged the wet finger back up her slit as you whispered in her ear.

“You’re wet already” You smirked against her gently circling her clit with your thumb, she put your finger slowly back into her, it was painfully slow your movements but the breathing of Aitana next to your ear showed it was proving effective. “Can you take another?” You asked your second finger hovering waiting for approval when Aitana didn’t answer to overcome with the feelings you asked again. She let you know she could and you let your fingers move together more freely in and out of her.

You were rougher with Aitana than you intended, you were overcome with raw sexual desire for her, you were lost in the moment forgetting how sweet and innocent Aitana was. But she took it. She loved it in fact it brought out a side in her you didn’t think existed, she wasn’t shy in telling you what she wanted, what felt good, being vocal in her pleasure. You even let her take control in a moment and let her fuck you and oh my god was that a good feeling. You got off getting women off but that was something else.

“I’m coming” Aitana was red and glistening all over from your amorous activities as she sat on your face. You had a firm grip on her thighs to stop her moving, she moaned, “Joder” she exclaimed as her breathing stopped her body tensing, a guttural noise escaping her throat. Her body slumped forward as you smack her arse her hands on the headboard behind you her back arching, you gripped it tightly before you smacked it harder the sound ringing around the room over her moaning as you sucked her clit to another orgasm. “Harder” you easily moved and manipulated Aitana onto all forms slipping from underneath her you grabbed a hand full of her hair pulling it back as your crotch pushed into her backside. “Spank me harder”

As you squeezed and kneaded her cheek you kissed up her back, you knew what you were doing it you were building anticipation, you pulled her head back further to be able to reach her mouth your tongues dancing.

“Y/N” her moaning your name whilst making eye contact drove you crazy

“Yeah baby”

“I want to come again”

“What made you think i was finished with you?” You asked with a little kiss on her lips, “Answer me”

“I don’t know” she moaned as your fingers slipped into her, she bit her lip still maintaining eye contact as you pump harder than ever as you’d learnt she could handle it, you let her hair go and her chest pressed to the sheets squirming. Her eyes moved to yours once again when you pressed a thumb against her asshole. You silently asked permission when she shook her head you gave her what she did want you spanked her and the nervous expression evaporated almost instantly.

“You’re so fucking sexy” you muttered watching the way your own fingers smacked in and out of her, you felt her walls begin to tighten, “You gonna come for me?” You asked, you spanked her harder than ever when she didn’t respond.

The excited little squeal as she pushed up on her hands told you she liked it, Aitana was kinky, who knew. “I’m going to come for you, you’re making me come for you.” You adjusted behind Aitana still on all fours so you could move faster the noise from her slit of her pleasure was audible before Aitana began moaning. Aitana shocked you and herself when she squirted slightly as you removed your fingers to tap her clit.

Aitana collapsed forward moaning every time she took a breath, she was done now. She couldn’t take anymore she was over sensitive her eyes closed as you pressed a kiss to the middle of her back.

You lay back horizontally on her bed you weren’t sure how much time passed as you both silently lay separately catching your breath before you sat up and stood up off the bed.

You grabbed your tee from the floor slipping it on, “Are you going?” You turned your head to Aitana's sweet little voice behind you

“Do you want me to?” Aitana swallowed and shook her head, “Ok” you padded out the bedroom to go to the bathroom, you cleaned yourself up, got a wet cloth grabbed a bottle of water out the fridge and headed back. You walked back around the bed you placed the bottle on the floor tapped Aitana arse, “Roll to your back” she did as she was told and you cleaned her up you threw the cloth across the room into the laundry basket taking a seat as you chugged some water. You looked to her your eyes connecting as you held the bottle to her, she sat herself up taking it from you. When she finished you placed it on the side table for her rose to your feet took the tee back off as you walked around the bottom of the bed you got into bed pulling Aitana to cuddle into you and it wasn’t long until you both fell to sleep after your hours of enjoyment of each others bodies.

+

You were in the locker rooms bathroom doing your hair ready for getting onto the bus to travel for the away game the other side of the city when Ellie stormed in shutting the door making it obvious you were going to be discussing something that wasn’t for everyone’s ears. That door never got shut.

“You slept with Aitana?” She asked, you moved your eyes from hers in the mirror

“How do you know that?”

“I put 2 and 2 together” Ellie explained, “You said you were going to her place last night to tell her your exam grade and she’s showed up here today with hickeys and bruises that are clearly from sex with you, it doesn’t take a genius”

You didn’t speak, you just carried on scraping your hair up into a hair tie.

“Y/N! She could have been a virgin! You know the rumour!”

You turned your head to Ellie you looked a little pissed, “She wasn’t a virgin Ellie”

“How do you know that?”

“Virgins don’t fuck like that!” you held eye contact after your exclamation, your eyes looked into the mirror when a cubicle door opened behind you and Alexia stepped out. She made sure to make contact but not one of you spoke as she moved to wash her hands dry them and leave, she made the point of propping the door back open. You sighed putting your hands on the sink looking to Ellie.

+

You rolled your eyes as you came down the bus Ellie still going on, “Oh come on, we tell each other everything”

“Do we?” You looked over your shoulder, “I tell you nothing and you continually over share” you turned your head back and your eyes connected with Alexia kneeling on her seat back against the window, your eyes dropped to Aitana eyes focused on her phone before looking back to Alexia not a word spoken. Now you were worried. Did you go too far with Aitana?

“Oh come on, I’ll tell you about the last bloke I slept with”

“I couldn’t give a shit about your sex life Ellie” You spoke putting your bag up above sitting in one of the four seats Keira opposite you, the look on her face you thought she knew.

“What are you two going on about?”

“Ellie’s over sharing again” you grumble pulling your phone out to try to block her out.

“Y/N” Ellie sat down

“Will drop it?” You said forcefully, “I am never going to tell you so just fucking drop it”

Keira stared at the pair, “Ok, I need to know whats happened?” Keira leant forward as the bus started to move, “Y/N” you just put her earphones in and turned your music on, with Aitana not even acknowledging you and Alexia’s stoic reaction towards you, you were worrying what conversation they’d had. You didn’t want to hurt Aitana by any means but she didn’t initiate the night previous maybe you’d got a bit too carried away.

You soon were coming off the bus, as you moved along the bus to grab your bag you found yours beside Aitana who was collecting hers. “Hi” you said to her hopeful, Alexia behind her popped her handle up a bit more forceful than you thought necessary. Was she ready to throw hands over something you’d no clue you’d done?

“You know” Aitana rose her head, “I never thought you’d be the type of person to go bragging”

“I-“ Your face softened, you had never considered how your conversation with Ellie may of come across when relayed.

“Save it.. I don’t want to hear it, I told people you were different from the rumours about you, clearly you used that charm to pull the wool over my eyes to get what you wanted”

You didn’t speak you let Aitana walk away with drama, you sighed, “Wow. That was frosty.”

“Don’t” You bit at Ellie, it wasn’t Ellie’s fault entirely but you were annoyed and needed someone to take your anger out on and she was the only option you weren’t close enough to any other teammate who knew the situation, or thought they did like Ellie. “For once in your life just keep your mouth shut”

“Y/N”

“Just.. stay away from me for a while yeah?” You grabbed your case, “She won’t speak to me now because of your stupid comments in the toilet, well in Ellie!” You walked by Alexia who just watched you without a word but her face was different this time. You went into your corner spot thankful to be out the way, you didn’t know whether Aitana was playing a game but you sure hoped she was with how unbothered she appeared whilst you looked racked with sadness and guilt.

You were last to come to the line, you were late in fact. Alexia gave you a questioning look when you didn’t even had your gloves on, “You good?” You didn’t acknowledge her with words and just nodded, “Head in the game?” She couldn’t find out your answer as it was time to walk out.

You played well, despite your mind elsewhere it seemed even distracted you were still one of the best goalkeepers without really trying it was pure instinct.

You joined in the post match greetings Aitana was coming right towards you as both were moving through players telling them good game, did you acknowledge her? And risk her ignoring you and all the players around knew something was a miss. As Aitana got in front of you, your name was called and you were taken away for the post match interview.

+

You turned as the door behind you finally opened, “What do you want?” Aitana asked

You slipped by her into her home, “What do you think I want?”

“I have no idea”

“Aitana” you spoke taking your jacket off putting it on the back of one of her dining room chairs, “You are an incredibly attractive women, you offered it on a plate, you really think I’d turn that down?” Aitana shut the door folding her arms, “I don’t know what you want from me? You’re down right rude one minute, then you insist on spending every minute with you to the point I actually considered you a friend and enjoyed your company, then we have the best sex and you then ignore me.. I’m going to need you to start using some words and explain to me what you want?”

“You” You furrowed your brows, “I want you but I can’t have you”

“Why can’t you have me?”

“Everyone says you don’t do relationships, and I said to myself I wouldn’t go there with you and I did and I don’t regret it I just.. wish I’d prepared myself more for how it would make me feel afterwards”

You close the gap cupping her face, “Who said I don’t do relationships? Surely that’s my decision, I’ve never found someone I want to commit to, I’ve never had that feeling that I didn’t need someone else in my life.. then you happened. If you want me Aitana you can have me, over the last couple of weeks i’ve loved being around you, you make me laugh, I smile when I think about you. I’d really like to see where we could go” Aitana rose her eyes to yours, “What do you say? We go on a few dates and see what happens?”

“We’re dating?”

You smiled, “We’re dating. I’m not done with you yet” you kissed her softly.

[mikareo]

⌗ RENAISSANCE ₊ ˖ ་. rin itoshi x fem reader (2.1k)

⊹ ⠀⠀ he's never been one to appreciate art, but you've given him a new set of eyes— the love he feels for you is overwhelming, and he hopes it lasts forever. (bonus for rationalism and romanticism; necessary to read first!)

contains; colorblind!rin, painter!reader, rin’s mom is reader’s art mentor, swearing, immense fluff, kissing, sae and rin actually have a good relationship, extremely inaccurate depictions of colorblindness author's note; bonus ending for rationalism/romanticism!

This is a fancy-ass venue. 

Rin can’t help but feel underdressed for the occasion, despite being clad in a fitted white button up and black tie, whilst his dress-shoes cramp his feet in the worst ways imaginable. He almost looks like that one moviestar in the romantic comedy you love so much. Was it the one with the rich guy in Singapore or the one where they worked in an office and he was a businessman? Rin can’t remember. Whatever, it doesn’t really matter either way. He’s distracting himself too much, he needs to focus— tonight is one of the most important nights of your career. No, it is the most important night for your future career. His mother contacted every big art distributor and critic that she has professional relationships with. It’s your night…and wow did you kill it. 

It’s almost as if you’ve plastered yourself across the walls. Every art piece that his eyes roll over is exceptionally you - your personality, your passions, and your heart - and it’s obvious you’ve spent months curating the most perfect array of paintings a person could muster. 

He can read your story like an open book while he slowly makes his way through the gallery. There are paintings depicting your childhood, ones that remind him of the stories you tell him of your primary school drama and premature interests. That one must be when you broke your arm while learning to ride your bike. You’re particularly stuck on that story— strongly stating how upset you were because it was your dominant arm, halting your ability to paint for seven weeks. Referencing your painting passion, there’s a whole array of canvases dedicated to your love for art; beginning with inspirations of immaturity to skillful selections of texture techniques. Rin is obviously no art critic, but if he were, he’d write a whole expose on how amazing you are. 

With his mind so engaged with your talent, he’s oblivious to the people passing by; so oblivious that he doesn’t even notice his own family approaching. 

“She’s talented isn’t she?” 

Holy shit. The familiar voice of his mother startles Rin, but he instinctively wraps a loose arm around her waist and greets her with a grin. She returns the affectionate expression and it’s painfully obvious that he got his smile from her, and even more painfully obvious that they’re all related when Sae walks up with his teeth beaming. Long lashes and a toothy grin, the physical brand of the Itoshi family; famous in not only football, but good looks!

“Y’know I always knew she had an innate ability.” Miss Itoshi has a faint smile on her face, gazing at her youngest son with nothing but pure happiness. It’s a true display of a mother’s love for her youngest son, and Rin doesn’t know what he’d do without her guidance. She squeezes his side and presses a gentle kiss to his cheek. God, he’d be so embarrassed if his teammates saw this. “Though, I always thought she specialized in artwork.”

Hm? Rin sends a puzzled glance in her direction. What is she going on about?

His mom continues, knowing her son well enough that he needs a clear explanation in order to understand anything at all, and presses her hand against his chest. “I didn’t realize she was so skilled at touching hearts.”

His heart is beating faster at the mere thought of your beauty.

There are tears behind Miss Itoshi’s eyes and Rin can feel the waterworks attempting to break his own dam. They’re an emotional duo, him and his mom, Sae gets tired of their antics sometimes— but Rin knows he loves them. Their mom always knows the right thing to say. “I never thought I’d see you like this, Rin.”

Sae smirks, nodding in agreement. “You seem so at ease. It’s cute.”

Reflexively, he pulls them both into a big hug— which is the first hug he’s given Sae since he was nothing but a young boy, six years old and playing soccer for the very first time. Rin finally understands what it means to love and be loved, all because of you; and now he can apply that same love to his older brother, who was his rival for so long. The overwhelming comfort he feels in his family’s arms is the same warmth he felt when he made his first goal and ran into his mother to celebrate his newfound passion. For a long time, Rin believed that it was only possible to have that one singular passion. Oh how wrong he was.

“I get it now.” he says softly into their ears. “She helped me understand.”

“And we’re happy for you,” Sae pats him on the back as hard as he can, eliciting a threatening glare from his younger sibling, to which their mother laughs. 

“Check out the centerpieces down the hall.” Miss Itoshi nudges Rin on, standing beside Sae. “I think you’ll love them, sweetheart.”

With their encouragement, he carries on with the gallery and down the straight hallway of evolving paintings. Every step he takes, seems to carry him into a new era of your life. It’s almost as if he’s time traveling through memories that seemingly morph from abstract to realistic art; and he learns more and more about you with each passing second, ultimately leading towards one large painting in the center of the room. 

Holy shit. You’re breathtaking. 

Never in Rin’s life has his world stopped due to paint on canvas— but right now, it feels like every single brush stroke is a frozen second that he gets to relive again and again, just basking in the presence of your beautiful skill.

The way you’ve outlined your hair with thin lines and highlighted your lovely cheekbones, is nothing short of masterful. If he looks close enough, he can understand the comforting feeling of cupping your face with just his eyes. He didn’t even know you did self-portraits, but now he wishes he could hang this very one right above his couch; to show off the talent of his amazing girlfriend for everyone to see (not that he actually has many friends other than his teammates).

Where are you? He needs to let you know how special it is to be with someone like you—

“Cat got your tongue?”

Speak of the devil.

“Do you like it?” You raise your eyebrows at him expectantly. “What do you think?”

You said the same thing when you first met.

Rin looks between you and the painting, now realizing that no matter how masterful your skill is, it’s impossible to capture just how gorgeous you are in any form of art. You’re simply exquisite. The most talented painter in the world wouldn’t know how to appreciate your beauty. Davinci? No. Botticelli? No. Di Angelo? Not even he could sculpt your features to perfection. However, despite his high standards, Rin believes that your self portrait is the greatest thing he’s ever seen. 

The familiar feeling of flusteredness grows on his cheeks as he holds eye-contact with you, wondering what color it is you’re wearing. He bets it’s red, you always wear red around him. “I love it.”

As your right hand finds his palm, the left reaches up and cups his cheek. With a gentle touch, your lips are on his and Rin feels his head take a spin on the merry-go-round of love. He can’t get enough of you. If he had a choice, he’d spend every waking second of his day peppering you in light kisses on every part of your body— and he’d make sure that you never felt loneliness again. You deserve nothing less than the absolute best, and he’s made it his life’s goal to give that to you.

Slowly, he begins to feel your smile against his lips and you pull away with a lovesick gaze. He pulls you into his chest, cradling your head and kissing it softly before whispering how proud he is, and it’s almost unbelievable how far Rin’s come. Somehow you’ve lured him into a bottomless ravine where the only resource to live is to be hopelessly in love with you— and truthfully, he never wants to escape. You're everything to him.

“You love it?” your eyes are shining brighter than the sun. “You haven’t even seen my best work yet.”

“Oh?’ Rin raises his brows, mocking surprise at your statement. “Well now you have to show me. It’s only fair.”

You place your hands on his chest and peck his lips before spinning him around. He’s confused for a moment, wondering what you’re doing when you could’ve just led him to the canvas instead of guiding him around like it’s a dance class…but then he sees it.

He sees himself.

Never in his life has he completely understood what being in love is. Yes, he's felt love. From his mother, who raised him to be the man he is; caring, thoughtful, and compassionate. From his brother, who helped him understand ambition and sacrifice. From his teammates, who challenge him to be the best he possibly can and to support one another without holding grudges. He's felt different types of love from so many people in his life. Familial. Platonic. Admiration. This is different, though. The love you show him is true love. It's the kind of love that movie stars win awards for portraying. It's the fantasy that kids dream about having when they grow up into big adults. It's the thing he thought was impossible to obtain, but was lucky enough to stumble upon you in that empty art studio on the best day of his life.

He didn't know love could be expressed in this kind of way. Through the very same paint strokes and brush marks that used to make him nauseous with hatred. Seeing your masterpiece, he doesn't understand how he could ever hate something so amazing. Art is spectacular. No. Your art is spectacular. You are spectacular.

"You love it right?" You're trying your best not to giggle at his awestruck reaction. "Want to know the best part?"

Rin can feel himself nodding, desperately reaching for your hand in an attempt to ground himself from the air he's walking on— and you begin to explain. "It's a dual piece. Notice how we're facing each other?"

Oh my god, you are facing each other. He hadn't noticed it before, but he can see clearly now. You've placed him in the dead center of the room, giving him a full view of both of the paintings— opposite of one another on two opposing easels. "Tell me more, baby." His voice is nothing louder than a whisper, only for you to hear.

"I'm painted in black and white."

Oh?

"You're painted in color."

...Oh.

"I wanted to show how love knows no bounds. There's beauty in how you see me and how I see you. It doesn't matter that I'm colorless to you, you still look at me like I'm the prettiest girl in the world; and I only wish you could understand how vibrant your eyes are, Rin. You're the most handsome man I've seen in my entire life."

He loves you.

He loves you so, so much.

A part of his heart feels like he's falling in love with you all over again. It's growing larger and larger, unable to contain the capacity of feelings he holds for you. He's so overwhelmed with joy that tears begin to fight to escape his eyes, ultimately dripping down his cheeks like watercolor on paper, and he sweeps you into the tightest hug known to man.

There's really only one thing left to do. One thing to close this chapter and carry on with the rest of your love story, something that's sacred only between the two of you. Something that he hopes to say to you everyday, every night, every hour, and every minute that he can.

"I love you."

this is the end of this series! every part was such a joy to write and i'm so thankful for all of the feedback i've been given. more fics coming soon love y'all <3

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⊹₊｡ reblogs are greatly appreciated! ˚₊⊹

[queensumomo]

Eeeeee!!!! I love Choi Jinhyuk and Jeong Eunji in “Miss Night & Day”!!!! 😍😍😍

I haven’t posted about this drama because I was just too focused on watching it. It was a fun and crazy romp, part fantasy/fairytale, part romcom, part suspense-thriller. And I just loved the combination of Choi Jinhyuk, who looks quite dashing and handsome as Prosecutor Gye Ji-ung, and APink member and vocalist Jeong Eunji as the intelligent but insecure Lee Mi-jin.

Of course, there’s the uber-talented veteran actress Lee Jeungeun, who plays Lim Sun, Lee Mi-jin’s daytime alter ego.

Basically, Lee Mi-jin is a 29 year old young woman who, for some reason, keeps failing her civil servic exams despite being quite intelligent and talented, and having reviewed thoroughly. Turns out she has a massive case of insecurity towards her own abilities and talents. Yet becoming a civil servant is her dream.

One day, after failing her latest try at the civil service exam, she gets drunk and encounters a mysterious orange cat. The next day, she finds that she’s turned into a fifty-something woman overnight. Yet strangely enough, this results in her getting the dream job that she’s always wanted. She gets into a senior intern program at the Prosecutor’s Office and becomes promoted from maintenance to clerical work as a reward for her good performance and her bravery.

Mi-jin takes on the name Lim Sun in her middle-aged woman persona, which was the name of her aunt who had disappeared 24 years ago. As Lim Sun, she becomes the clerical associate at Gye Ji-ung’s office and finds herself assisting him and his teammate, Investigator Ju, in finding out the culprit of several gruesome killings that had occurred in their city recently. The killings aree reminiscent of several serial murders that had occurred at the same place decades before.

The murders turn out to hit closer to home than Mi-jin realizes, because it eventually turns out that her aunt had been of the serial killer’s victims many years before. This is something she has in common with Prosecutor Gye, who had returned to the city of Seohan to investigate these gruesome murders, with the hunch that his own mother had been one of the earlier victims as well.

Even as all these things happen around her, Mi-jin keeps searching for the mysterious cat, which she believes is the answer to her strange condition.

The series is at once funny and serious, sometimes a romcom and sometimes a makjang. Somehow, the actors manage to make everything work all throughout, and this can be credited not just to their skills as actors but to the script and the directing as well.

The actress Lee Jeungeun showcases why she is one of the main actors in the Oscar-winning film “Parasite”. As Lim Sun, she is able to portray the angst and insecurities of a young woman, including all her clumsiness and thrill at having a huge crush on her boss.

Choi Jinhyuk is perfect as the dour and no-nonsense ace lawyer, Gye Ji-ung. He is at once strong and vulnerable. He gives off the aura of someone who’s supremely confident and self-possessed, yet deep inside, he hides the trauma of a young boy who lost his mother.

Jeong Eunji is spunky and charming as Lee Mi-jin. She’s very determined and single-minded but her fears of her own inadequacy is her worst enemy. Eunji manages to convey all of this in her portrayal. She’s an excellent actress and manages to convince the viewer of Mi-jin’s struggles and brokenheartedneas every time she fails.

It’s also good that the actors have such wonderful chemistry together. All throughout the drama, the viewer is thoroughly convinced that Eunji’s Mi-jin and Jungeun’s Sun are one and the same person. And whenever either one of them is acting in the same scene as Choi Jinhyuk, there’s no question that they’re one and the same person who’s in love with him.

Although the drama ended in a typical fashion by tying up all loose ends in the final episode, it still managed to give ample time for Mi-jin and Ji-ung’s reunion. And it was neatly dovetailed with Mi-jin’s middle-aged self bidding both Mi-jin and Ji-ung farewell.

It was a satisfying watch overall. I was surprised to discover a new KDrama OTP in Choi Jinhyuk and Jeong Eunji. They do look good together and their chemistry is organic and very natural. No wonder their co-actor Lee Jungeun ships them so strongly in real life.

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

Question asking! How would you depict Morph in the X-Men Evolution cartoon? And if you could redo Pyro’s depiction in it, what would you change?

Ooooh, boy, I actually had a vague fanfic type idea awhile back about putting a version of Morph in Evolution. Basically? I'd put him on the Deadly Genesis team.

So, the first team of mutants that Xavier ever recruits is a group of teenagers - Vulcan (I think in this case Xavier does NOT know that he's Scott's brother), Darwin, Petra, Sway, and Changeling. (I'm gonna go with Changeling here rather than Morph.) After a few early missions, he sends them to investigate a mysterious island (Krakoa, of course) that appeared in the Pacific Ocean, while he stays onboard the Blackbird monitoring them. The mission is a disaster. Krakoa lashes out with an enormous blast of energy that appears to kill Vulcan, Darwin, Petra and Sway, as their life readings disappear, and Xavier feels their pain and fear. Changeling, who had shapeshifted wings and was flying above the island to scout it out, is spared the brunt of the blast and is knocked into the ocean, badly injured and apparently the only survivor. Xavier rescues him, and Krakoa sinks back below the waves.

Xavier returns to the mansion with his only surviving student, and nurses him back to health. I want to emphasize, Xavier is absolutely devastated and fucked up over what happened. I think Evo Xavier is kind of a bastard, but like all Xaviers I think he has good intentions. As far as he knows, his X-Men were a complete failure, he failed them, and he led four teenagers to their deaths. When Changeling wakes up, and is determined to go back to the Pacific to search for his missing teammates, even growing wings and physically flying there if necessary, Xavier makes a decision. He has no hope of starting another X-Men team, and he decides that the best possible thing he can do for mutant Kevin Sydney is to protect him - by erasing his memory of the team, and of ever being a mutant. I think Changeling in this universe generally uses a human form similar to Morph's human form in TAS/X-Men 97 as a default, and if the featureless white clay form is his "real" self, he hasn't found it yet. Xavier locks Kevin in human form, suppresses his X-Gene, and sends him back to his parents believing that he was in a terrible car accident at "summer camp," and leaves him to lead a normal life as a "human."

Xavier then spends a few years deeply depressed and not doing much.....until he hears reports of the weather-controlling mutant in Africa. Storm is enough for Xavier to start considering an X-Men team again, and believe that there might be some hope. He tells no one about the original team, it is his deepest shame. In the meantime, Kevin has become a relatively successful actor - not a superstar, but doing pretty well for himself. He's been in a few movies, and by the time Evolution starts, he's starring in a CW sexy vampire drama similar to The Vampire Diaries. For self-indulgent reasons, I'm gonna say that it's a Dark Shadows revival that is actually really good. (Kitty absolutely loves the show, and loves Kevin's character. Rogue is probably into it too, but won't admit it.) Xavier never contacts Kevin or removes the blocks on his memories/powers, convincing himself that it's for the best, Kevin is obviously happy and successful and there's no need to throw his life into chaos. But also, because re-recruiting Changeling would mean telling everyone about the first team - his greatest failure and deepest shame.

Then, at some point after the end of Evolution, Krakoa re-emerges in the Atlantic. I'd say at this point, it's about 10 years after the Deadly Genesis team, so Kevin is in his twenties - not super old, but an adult compared to the Evo teens. Seeing news reports about the island knocks something loose in Kevin's mind, and he starts dreaming about Krakoa, and seeing occasional hallucinations of his old teammates (the kind of quick "blink and you'll miss it" thing where the ghost appears briefly in a mirror or in a crowd that horror movies do before the scares start ramping up.) Maybe he even starts to involuntarily shapeshift while asleep, but assumes that it's part of a dream. Xavier absolutely forbids the team to go anywhere near the mysterious new island, but won't say why.

Meanwhile, someone emerges from the island - it's Vulcan, who went into a deep coma while basically trapped at the center of Krakoa. Vulcan doesn't know exactly what happened or how he survived, but he is pissed. While flying towards Xavier's, he sees a billboard for Awesome Dark Shadows Revival That I Wish Existed, with what appears to be an older version of his teammate Changeling. Taking a quick detour, Vulcan tracks down Kevin and demands to know what happened. Kevin doesn't know what Vulcan is talking about, but realizes that he does recognize him from....somewhere. And at some point while Vulcan is somewhat violently confronting him, Kevin shapeshifts as an instinctive defense, and realizes that this isn't a dream, he is actually changing forms, and is probably a mutant, and there is something very wrong with his memories. Vulcan realizes that Changeling doesn't know what the fuck is going on, and assumes that Xavier must be to blame for this as well (he's right!) and drags Kevin off to confront the Professor.

Once they land at the mansion, a fight naturally breaks out. Vulcan wants Xavier and is willing smack down anyone that gets in his way. Kevin continues to not know what the fuck is going on, but I think he winds up on Team Protect Xavier, because he doesn't want to kill anyone, he just wants some answers. Everyone mistakes him for Mystique at first, and he gets knocked around a bit. I'm imagining Kitty, when she realizes that he is not only NOT Mystique, he is actually Kevin Sydney from All-New All-Different Dark Shadows, she is absolutely appalled that she kicked her favorite actor in the face.

After Vulcan smacks everyone around for a bit, and it seems like he is about to kill Xavier, he suddenly freezes and collapses, and another figure emerges. It's Darwin, who had merged with Vulcan all those years ago in order to allow them both to survive. They both went dormant within Krakoa, but Darwin woke up along with Vulcan when the island returned to the surface. Darwin has been fighting this whole time to stop Vulcan's violent rampage, and finally managed to put him down (for the moment).

Xavier finally explains everything. Everyone is angry. But also, they decide to go back to Krakoa for reasons I haven't decided yet - maybe they are worried about human researchers who are approaching the island, maybe Vulcan wakes up and flies out there, and the team wants to stop him before he starts wrecking shit again. The entire team, including Changeling (with the blocks on his memories and powers now fully removed) and Darwin. I think on the island there will be another fight with Vulcan and maybe with Krakoa itself, but it will stop when the team makes another discovery - it's Petra and Sway. Still alive, because fuck it, they deserve better and in my version of Deadly Genesis they get to live. They are trapped inside a time bubble that Sway instinctively created with her powers the moment the blast hit, and have been basically frozen in stasis this entire time (which is why Xavier couldn't read their life signs.) Xavier has to reach out telepathically to "wake up" Sway and cause her to drop the bubble, freeing both. For Petra and Sway, no time at all has passed, they haven't aged, they don't remember anything about their time in stasis. At this point, seeing all his old teammates still alive, I think Vulcan drops the vendetta (at least temporarily) and flies off into space, still very pissed. How does the team deal with Krakoa itself? I dunno, Xavier puts it to sleep or something.

I'm not sure what happens to the X-Men team after this. They have to reckon with Xavier having done some awful things and kept massive secrets, but unlike comics Deadly Genesis, it turns out no one actually died. Storm and Wolverine would demand to know ALL of Xavier's secrets and threaten to leave if he holds anything back. The kids are probably divided, but lose some respect for him. I think at least one person out of the Petra, Sway and Darwin trio will decide to stay at the mansion. Kevin does not stay - he doesn't want to hurt Xavier, but cannot forgive him for the memory blocks. Kevin also offers to use some of his actor money to help Petra, Sway and Darwin start new lives if they want (I think one of them might take him up on it), and tells the rest of the X-Men that they can call on him if there's a major emergency that requires a shapeshifter, because even if he hates Xavier he likes the rest of the team. The he runs back to Hollywood to stay on sexy CW Dark Shadows. I think he wrestles with whether or not to "come out" as a mutant, now that he knows, because a mutant celebrity might help the cause, but it could also destroy his career.

No Banshees were harmed in this version of Deadly Genesis.

As for the character in general, I think he'd have the same upbeat, kinda sassy personality as TAS/X-Men 97 Morph, but you wouldn't see as much in this story, since it's mostly Changeling getting dragged through the two worst days of his life and dealing with some very confusing memories. He's also not non-binary - at least not yet - but is kinda gender-nonconforming. I think he's probably questioned his own gender a bit, maybe he'd be nonbinary in the future after some soul-searching. I think Morph in TAS can also really hold onto a grudge, and I think Changeling would be the same about Xavier. Like, "I'm not going to attack or hurt you, but I do NOT want to talk to you, and you are NOT forgiven. Your student are cool, though."

As for Pyro - If given a chance, I'd make him a high school teen so he can be part of the Brotherhood the whole time, but I'm not sure how he would fit in, and what his dynamic would be with the rest of the group (or which X-Man would be his official "rival." Maybe he'd cockily keep trying to challenge Storm, just like in the comics.) I think he'd get along well with Boom-Boom during her Brotherhood time. He'd have a massive crush on Avalanche (that he's not very good at hiding) and get very jealous when Lance shows interest in Kitty. I'd like to see him actually have some opinions about mutants and politics rather than just "Hee hee, I like to burn things!" (Although that's fine, too.) His grandmother raised him in Australia, but when she suffered a major health crisis, she sent him to America to live with his deadbeat mother. His mother then kicks him out when he displays mutant powers. His grades are decent when he does the work, but he mostly excels in English and creative writing. He reads a lot, and has a laptop that he is constantly using to write. Mostly fanfic, for now. The best way to piss off St. John is to read his stories without his permission, and I imagine there are some Brotherhood keepaway games with his laptop. When not writing, he's usually playing with fire or looking for some kind of adrenaline rush.

Of course, I'd be satisfied if we just got to spend some time with Evo Acolyte Pyro after he joins the Brotherhood, or whatever their SHIELD team becomes. Just flesh him out more beyond "Laughs at violence, loves fire."

Edit - I just realized that my version of Deadly Genesis makes Vulcan like, several years older than Scott. Which makes no sense for his origins. Eh, don't worry about it. Maybe he got aged up prematurely in a Shiar breeding pod or something. Maybe he's actually Corsair's brother and therefore Scott's uncle. Whatevs.

[blade-liger-4ever]

Jayrae thoughts (trigger warning: mentions of drugs, neglectful parents, demon parents (?), death, gangs, hope this is good enough for warnings)

Okay, @wickedhexedwitch has gotten me onto the Jayrae (Jason Todd/Red Hood x Rachel Roth/Raven) ship pretty hard, despite my poor, limited knowledge of Teen Titans - and, to a slightly lesser extent, DC Comics as a whole.

But now, I can’t help but think about how awesome their dynamic would be. Just imagine with me for a moment.

You have Raven, a young girl who was raised to be her demon father’s ultimate weapon/avatar. She went through a horrible childhood, eventually managing to escape and suppress her emotions to keep dear old dad away. Because of this, she is more reserved and closed off than her teammates, who are more or less physical embodiments of chaos. Naturally, Raven has to keep her empathetic tendencies in control, which means she doesn’t turn out as wild as the others.

Then take Jason. The boy’s had the worst childhood out of any of the Robins (I’m not counting Damian because, on account of Bruce’s life, he was pulled into the Wayne family drama): Jason’s mother was an addict, his father either went to jail or took off, and Jason thereby suffered from emotional, mental and spiritual neglect. And then, after getting killed by Joker, Jason is forcefully brought back to life by Ra’s a’Ghul, with an equally messed up head now that he’d shared the Lazarus Pit with Ra’s.

After coming to terms with Bruce and getting off his need for lone wolf vigilantism, Jason comes back to running some missions with his adopted family. On one of these missions, they wind up teaming up with the Titans for Raven’s medical expertise and to hunt down Deathstroke.

And Raven’s just so...quiet.

Jason’s irked by her lack of emotion, but also amazed at her control. No matter what he says, what he does, or any other antic his siblings or the other Titans get up to, Raven remains impassive and collected. In spite of how aggravating he finds it, Jason finds her quiet control a soothing balm. Soon enough, he begins talking with her about books, starting with the classics that Jason, up until this point, has not spoken about with anyone. Eventually, they spend more time discussing everything from Shakespeare to C.S. Lewis. And then, Jason finds out that Raven’s not a particularly good physical fighter. Offended on her behalf, he insists/drags Raven to the training room to teach her how to defend herself should she be depowered.

And Raven’s just astounded by this man. He’s a smart-mouth, a belligerent fighter, and just all around loose cannon. But now, she’s learned that Jason’s mind is a sharp as his sword, and that underneath his cocky attitude, he cares. No one else on the team has given thought to teaching her to fight without her powers. Despite what he’d have others believe, he has a kind heart. A heart that, dare she say it, is kinder than any Raven’s come across.

And so they’re partnered up on missions. With Raven’s vast magical/supernatural powers and Jason’s exceptional combat and weapon skills, the two make an incredible team. During this time, they find that their partnership is almost seamless, with few misunderstandings between them. Growing comfortable around each other, Raven breaks the ice first by admitting to her heritage and upbringing, something that still upsets her. At first she’s nervous, thinking he might reject her for her early life.

But she’s surprised when Jason gets quiet, slowly taking off his mask as she finishes her tale. After a moment, he tells her that his mother had never shown such care for him. She was always looking for the next drug to make her forget the world, forget him. His father never bothered to be in the picture, forcing Jason to carve out his own life. He tells her the times he went hungry, the times he stole, the first time he killed in self-defense. And Raven realizes that he’s trusting her with his past, just like she did with him. She gives him a smile - a small one, but so genuine that Jason decides it’s the best gesture that’s ever graced his life - and thanks him for it.

They clearly have eyes for each other by now, but Raven’s still not sure about how to express her positive emotions. And Jason, for all his bravado, is unwilling to make a move without knowing for sure that Raven reciprocates. The night before a mission, Raven goes to Starfire for advice on showing “strong affection”, as she puts it, for another. Starfire encourages her to let her emotions flower, but to keep them rooted in reality. Pondering this, Raven thanks her before heading out.

Unknown to either of the women, Dick discusses the mission with Jason before bringing up Raven. Although initially annoyed by the change in topic, Jason listens when Dick points out the signs of Raven’s feelings for him. When his brother is still unsure, Dick suggests not following his instincts this time, but his heart. Jason naturally punches his arm, but after a laugh and a, “Just try, okay?” from his older brother, Red Hood leaves a bit more thoughtful.

They head out, taking down the gang, but Raven takes a hit. Enraged, Jason kills the remaining gang members before carefully picking up Raven and leaving the scene. He’s quiet, not just because he’s still angry but also scared that Raven will think badly of him because of his deadly skills. However, Raven only asks if he’s alright, and after some more discussion, she picks up on a man following them.

Finding a spot to leave her, Jason goes back to deal with their pursuer. This man’s more formidable than the others, and once at a stalemate, Raven abruptly appears to shield Jason from a second man. Teaming up flawlessly, they take down the men, and Jason is stunned to see that Raven has healed. She admits that she accessed her positive emotions to both sense their enemies and to heal herself, finding that her love for Jason greatly overshadowed her negative ones.

Jason and Raven, each smiling like they haven’t in years, take this opportunity to kiss. Their relationship blooms from here on out, resulting in Rachel becoming the White Raven much sooner, and Jason tempering his wilder fighting style to reflect the calmer man that he’s become.

......wow, these two really came to life just now - and I think they’re gonna stick in my mind for awhile yet. Anyone who stuck around, thank you so much, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

[crazycoke-addict]

Why Owen deserve to win Total Drama Island

Before I explain my reasoning. I 100% agree when it comes to Leshawna's elimination and that should've been in the final three or even two. But whenever the fans discuss about Owen shouldn't have won Total Drama Island. Their reasoning involves around him being "useless" and doesn't have meaningful plot unlike Leshawna or even Gwen, who is the runner up. But I disagree and here's why.

Owen is the hypactive camper whose in Total Drama, to have a fun experience. He's only camper besides a few like Izzy and Geoff who is having a lot of fun. Contrast to Gwen, who is a moody goth girl whom doesn’t want to be here. But decides to stick around and maybe win the money. Having Owen and Gwen being in the final two makes sense. Their personalities are opposite to one and another, but they become good friends in the series. I think we need to thank Geoff for Gwen to embrace her inner party girl.

I think the reason why fans have a hard time believing Owen won Total Drama Island is because he "useless". I disagree very strongly. Owen has shown many times to be a very valuable teammate for the Screaming Gophers even when they lose the challenge. The only time he let them down is when he ate the ribs in the cooking episode. But then again, I don't know whose idea to let him be in charge of the food.

In the first challenge, he manages to dive in the safe zone, earning his team pull carts. In Dodgebrawl, he really helps his team a lot even though they loose because Screaming Gophers were getting a bit cocky and Noah's lack of participation really affected their loss. In Phobia Factor, he manages to stay in a flying plane along with Izzy earning two points for Screaming Gophers. In Paintball Deer Hunter, while he doesn't get any of the killer bass deers because he ate beans for breakfast and just kept farting. He was the most participation Gopher Hunter during the challenge.

In Basic Straining, he ends up being the last three remaining on his team along with Gwen and Heather. That part is actually insane given his weight and how he could've had the opportunity to fall asleep. He does when they had to hold a canoe over their heads, but he doesn't leave, and I'm not sure if Chef was really paying attention.

In a Bunch of Disgustingness, his ability to eat anything gross helps him win the guys to go to a spa resort. While Owen doesn't win any invincibility during merge challenges,he doesn't slack off and goes a bit far than you could imagine. In Search and Do Not Destroy, he does manages to get his key, and his key is located around a bear's neck. While his key doesn't open any chests, he successfully gets the key despite him being scared of the bear. In That's off the chain, Owen is shown to be very good at making his own bikes. His bike is very functional, and it's actually fitting for him. His bike passes to the final challenge along with Heather, Lindsay, and Duncan.

In Trial by Tri-armed tribulation, he manages to stay cuff with Heather up until she insults Izzy, where he pretty much had enough of her. He wins the first challenge for the duo, which is an eating contest. In Are We There Yeti? He and Duncan work well together, but they lose because of Owen's hunger for food. So, you could say that Owen's relationship with food is his strength and weakness, based off the challenges.

In Triple Dog Dare You, Owen participates in the dare challenges that were made by the other campers. During the challenge, Heather and Gwen are at each other's throats and keep daring one another. They appear to be aware that Owen is going into the final two with them, no matter what. Gwen comes up with a strategy that involves Owen helping her eliminate Heather. Owen agrees to work with her since he also doesn't like Heather.

When Owen is announced as the winner of Total Drama Island. It feels like an ending to a summer movie where the campers had a fun and amazing experience and a summer that they will never forget. Later in the bonus episode, it makes more sense for Owen to Gamble his money for 1 million dollars rather than them taking it away from Gwen.

In later seasons like Action and World Tour, Owen is shown to be a valuable teammate and participates in the challenges even when they lose.

[the-queerview]

Blue Jean (2023)

directed by Georgia Oakley

A lesbian drama placed in Margret Tatchers late 80s England. Jean is a closeted gym teacher living two lives between punky lesbian bar and teaching girls fake basketball. Last night my partner taught me that there were softer versions of sports like basketball or handball for women due sexism...like as an example netball which is like basketball but "softer"..

Jean got a new student Lois, who she encounters at the lesbian bar of her choice, scared about loosing her job, she threatens the young, gay student to be silent about her sexual identity. The young student is bullied by her teammates and the main bully kisses her in the shower, and portrayed it as sexual misconduct, which Jean saw while watching them in the shower ( CREEP*). Afterwards the student gets kicked out of school and starts working a shitty job. Jean is lying about Louis truth ( she obviously didn't assault the bully) to save her own ass. Parallel the actually beautiful side story between Jean and her dyke gf Viv ( which is my favorite character of the film) falls apart, when Viv realizes that Jean is clearly fucked in the head and won't be open about their love and is to afraid to be herself, besides NOT communicating her feelings and needs.

Jean followed Lois like a stalker (like leave that 15 year old alone bro that's not cool) but not to apologize but to tell her how bad she feels about being a coward and ruining Lois school career?

The film ends with Jean bringing Lois to a lesbian party, where they do fundraising for poor Lesbians, since they support each other.

okay now the roast.

Well i have to say, i liked the actresses, they did a good job with that. I clearly think Jean is a terrible role model and I'm tired of weird ass lesbian portraits. like do they always have to be such freaks?? like thinking of the the austrian lesbian drama "The Ground Beneath My Feet" (2019) by Marie Kreutzer. Like it's always a weird ass cliche or is it me? maybe as being a freak myself I crave for different representations.

In this film we know, that it took many brave women and queers to raise their voice, so I can walk basically. Why telling the story of the ones, that weren't brave enough or just casually ruined other queers live to save themselves? i guess to tell this story is also valid and important, but the way the movie did it, was build up in a way, that I have to feel empathy for Jean, but I don't. I'm actually angry and disappointed and feel that Jean ruined Lois life, since she was suspended. We don't know about Lois economic background, but since she starts working immediately, we can grasp that Lois won't have a second chance. How are Lesbians supposed to change the world and be visible, if they stay invisible trough gatekeeping by other lesbians. And then the Lesbian with the fancy flat chain smoking, brings you to a fundraiser party of poor lesbians????

I feel the director was interested to portray a complex search for identity, and thou its beautifully filmed, I struggle with the time span of the film, the use of a young, vulnerable person, without any big character development.. but hey maybe its that.. everyone else besides Jean in the film feels slightly not important, because in jean's world Jean is important..

It's Georgia Oakley second long film. I didn't watch Bored by her, but I will check out. Born 1988 Oakley choose they year, where she was born for her Drama blue Jean.

Jean finds a books at Vivs place, when she cant sleep. Its called Radclyffe Hall’s The Well of Loneliness, and deals with a lesbian epidemic. Excited to dig into that.

your comments welcomed below<3

[justdontaskme]

Fights All Around (Patri Guijarro x Reader)

A/N: Long time no see. Got another fic here from a prompt a while back. Not sure if I followed through fully with the ask, but hope it’s still good.

Things have been tense between you and Alexia for the past few days. Most of the team tried to stay out of the drama, but it seems as if things were getting worse between the two of you as the silent treatment slowly evolved into micro-aggressions of shoving and snide comments targeted at one another. 

It was strange for the team because no one knew what had happened between the two of you. One day you were two peas in a pod, staying late to work on shots and set plays together. But then the next day, it's as if you couldn't get far enough away from each other. 

No one asked what was wrong. Your teammates knew better than to get in the middle of a sisterly squabble. Besides, they figured that things would work themselves out in a matter of hours. It usually did. However, it’s almost been a week now and it didn't seem like there was any light at the end of the tunnel. 

Even the upcoming game couldn’t get the two of you to reconcile. Luckily for the team, though, you and Alexia were good at putting differences aside while playing. 

When you and Alexia were on the field together, it was magical. Even when the two of you weren’t seeing eye to eye off the pitch, nothing could destroy the chemistry on it. The two of you were just so in sync, knowing what the other was thinking without saying anything. It's what made the two of you a deadly force to reckon with. 

The opposing team’s strategy for winning this game was quite clear from the get go. Divide and conquer. They immediately threw bodies your way, keeping you from working with Alexia.

At first it was mainly to overwhelm, but it quickly grew physical. Unfortunately for you, you had been the one on the receiving end of many tackles. Each tackle was getting more reckless, and you knew you’d be waking up to countless bruises littered across your body from the hard landings and nasty collisions. And throughout all of this, not a single foul was called in your favor. 

It was nearing the end of the game when all hell broke loose. Between you and your sisters, you were always the hotheaded one, lashing out quickly before apologizing later. Sometimes your emotions just get the better of you.

So when an opposing defender came in deliberately shoved you from behind to keep you from advancing with the ball, you were over it. After a rather hard landing, you shot up from the ground, stomping to the player who had just taken you down. Without an ounce of remorse, you roughly shoved the girl, tripping her up and having her land flat on her ass. 

Now that she was vulnerable, you hovered over the girl, shouting in her face about the cheap shot and how tired you were of her nonsense. You saw her try to get back up, but you immediately pushed her back down. There was still a lot you had to get out. 

You felt a few hands on your shoulders trying to pull you back, but you brushed them off. When some of the opposing team's players tried shoving you away from their teammate, you found yourself lunging at them. 

Your assault was put on pause when you felt a pair of arms wrapped around your waist, physically lifting you and walking you away from the altercation. That didn’t stop you though. You struggled in your captor’s arms, still yelling at the other team for not playing fair. 

Quickly, more of your teammates crowded you, creating a wall between you and the other team before things could get worse. 

Almost instantly, your girlfriend was standing in front of you. Patri cradled your face in her hands, forcing you to look at her. “Querida, let it go, please,” she said, “If you don’t calm down, they’ll take you out of the game.”

You closed your eyes, letting yourself fall backwards into your teammate who had managed to drag you from the chaos. With Patri's guidance, you took deep breaths in, the anger still brewing inside you but much less than before. Eventually, your body sagged, your willingness to fight leaving you for the moment. 

Lucy’s arms were still around your waist from behind since she had literally grabbed you and walked you away from the altercation. Her hold had loosened, but she was still hesitant to let you go, just in case you decided to go back in. With a subtle nod of your head and a silent promise to stop fighting, she released you. 

Patri quickly wrapped you in her arms, pressing a quick kiss to the side of your head. “You’re okay,” she whispered to you.

Surprisingly, after all of that, you had only managed to earn a yellow card, considering it was only your first warning of the game. You decided to thank your lucky stars and not argue with the ref for the rest of the game. You had no idea that during the entire fiasco, Alexia and Irene had gone and pleaded your case. 

The pace of the game slowed down considerably, especially after Aitana managed to slot one in, putting the team up by one goal. This allowed you to sit further back in the field, keeping any other physical attacks from taking place. 

Once the final whistle blew, you let your shoulders fall. You took deep breaths, begging your burning lungs to take in the oxygen and relieve the pressure you felt in you with every inhale. 

Despite the win, you couldn't find it in yourself to be courteous to the players who had it out for you the entire game. While you no longer wanted to fight, you still were in a sour mood. Normally, you’d just chalk it up to no hard feelings because it was just a game, but not today. You avoided all of them, even bypassing some of your teammates who came to check up on you. 

Everyone steered clear of you as you sat down in a random spot on the field, shielding yourself from the crowd as your head fell between your bent knees. You forced yourself to continue taking deep breaths in and slowly letting them out, hoping that the anger would dissipate with each exhale. 

All you wanted was to expel all these feelings, so you weren't tempted to take them out on your friends, but somehow your sister didn't seem to get the hint to leave you alone. Instead she came over to you, grabbing your arms rather harshly and yanking you from the ground. She was fuming and you were not in the mood to try to placate her. 

“What were you thinking?” Alexia demanded, her eyes narrowed, her nostrils slightly flared as she stared you down. 

“Just leave me alone, Ale,” you grumbled, brushing her off and turning towards the locker room. 

No such luck. Your older sister spun you around, forcing you to face her. “That was so unnecessary. Why are you always trying to start fights?”

Many of your teammates started to congregate around the two of you, still keeping a distance, with the exception of Patri. Your girlfriend carefully took a spot by your side, waiting to intervene if necessary. 

“I didn’t start that!” you shouted indignantly, the volume of your voice raising slightly. “They were all over me the entire game. You saw it!”

“That doesn’t make it okay for you to go knocking people around. Grow up, already,” Alexia grumbled, standing right in front of your face, ignoring the hand on her chest from Patri, physically keeping the older girl from getting too close. 

“I get it. I’m not perfect. What do you want from me?” your voice desperate, the emotional toll from the last couple of days really coming into play. 

"We have to be better than that," Alexia reminded you. 

For some reason it was your sister’s use of we that set you off. Like she was lumping the two of you together. In the back of your mind, you knew she meant no harm from it, but after the week you had of arguing with her nonstop and the crazy game that just took place, rationality was the furthest thing from your mind. 

"I'm not you, Ale! I only know how to screw everything up, right?" You shouted at her, your pent up emotions getting the better of you. “I don’t know how to be great unless I do everything you tell me to do.”

That started to lay the clues in your teammates mind as to what the two of you were angry about this entire time. They were quite surprised by this revelation because you two are normally really close and most times you idolized Alexia, asking for her advice in navigating your professional career. 

As you took a look around, your teammates were staring at you with mixed looks of concern, worry, and maybe a few of the pitiful ones you hated. Their stares quickly became too much as you took off in a sprint to the locker room, needing to be away from here as soon as possible. 

Patri made to go after you, but was stopped by Aitana who said to give you a moment to yourself. Your best friend knew how overwhelmed you could get and how crowding you was not in anyone’s best interest. 

Your teammates were stuck in their place, watching as you ran off the field. Alexia looked stricken, as if her words and actions were finally catching up to her. Seeing the look on your face just before you ran away, that was not something she’d want to see again. 

As your older sister, she was meant to look out for you, protect you, but instead she had pushed you away. Immediately guilt filled her body, and shame followed right after when she saw how her teammates had turned their attention to her. 

She had failed you. 

When everyone eventually returned to the locker room, they found your space cleared out, meaning you had already left, which worried them. Patri immediately grabbed her phone, calling you multiple times but getting sent straight to voicemail every time. She texted you, hoping for an answer but even those went unanswered. 

After everyone had showered and changed, a search party had been gathered. They began pairing off and narrowing down the places you were most likely to be. Just as they were about to take off, Patri had received a text from you. 

I’m fine. Just need a moment to myself. 

While it didn’t exactly instill a lot of confidence in her, she knew to give you some space. She told you to call her if you needed anything and also made you promise to check in every now and then until you were back home safe. 

****

Hours later, Patri and Irene are roused from their rooms in their shared apartment by a loud series of knocks. They are instantly out of their rooms, congregating in the hall leading to their front door where the incessant knocking was coming from. 

The two players looked at one another confused and slightly terrified by the desperation as the knocking got louder and quicker.

Patri approached carefully, peeking into the peep hole before stepping back and swinging the door open immediately. Her hand reached out, dragging you into the apartment. 

Irene gasped as she took in the dried blood all over your face. There was a cut from your eyebrow, the beginnings of black eye forming, and a split lip. Your clothes were a mess and your hair was sticking out every which way. 

"What happened?"

Neither girl was surprised when you had stayed quiet, your mind shutting down in front of people familiar to you. Instead, you just walked into Patri’s body, resting your head on her collarbone as you waited for her hands to wrap themselves around you. 

Your girlfriend began whispering sweet words into your ear, trying to get you to open up, but it wasn’t doing much. Patri looked up and made eye contact with Irene. The two of them had a silent conversation before the young midfielder was leading you to the bathroom to clean you up. 

As gently as she could, Patri lifted you and placed you carefully on the counter by the sink. She went digging around for the first aid kit as you sat there quietly, fiddling with your fingers and avoiding eye contact. 

That’s when Patri noticed how bad your knuckles were, which led her to believe that you had gotten into another fight since she had seen you last. 

"You know that you have to be more careful, querida," Patri reminded you softly, her touch gentle as she helped wipe the dried blood off your face. 

"I know," your head fell in shame, hating that you had gone and disappointed everyone again. “I know.”

Those were the first words you had spoken since arriving at your girlfriend's apartment and they were also the last. 

She disinfected all of your wounds before bandaging them. Once that was finished, Patri lifted you up and carried you to her room. After tucking you under the blankets, Patri temporarily left the room to grab you some water. 

“Call Alexia,” Patri told Irene. 

“I already did,” Irene said, her hand on her head as she tried to think about how they’ve all come to this. “Is she okay?”

“I don’t know,” Patri answered honestly. “She’ll heal, but I’m worried because she won’t tell me anything. I don’t know how to help her if she won’t talk to me.”

“You’re doing exactly what you should be doing,” Irene told her. “Just be there for her. She’ll talk eventually.”

Patri nodded her head, walking back to her room with the determination to be whatever you needed from her. 

****

Less than an hour later, Alexia was frantically pounding on the door to Patri and Irene’s apartment. Irene opened the door to let the other woman in. 

"Where is she?" Alexia asked, rushing into the room, her head on a swivel as she searched for any sign of you. 

Irene carefully grabbed her friend's arm, turning her around. "Alexia, calm down, please."

The two of them waited until Alexia's breathing was under better control and her mind a little more clear. 

"What happened?"

The defender shrugged, "We don't know. She hasn't said anything about it."

"Is she okay?" Alexia asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. From Irene’s tone over the phone, things did not look good and Alexia felt like there was no one to blame but herself. 

"Patri is taking care of her. They're in her room right now," Irene replied, tilting her head in the direction of where you were. 

Alexia thanked her friend before heading to Patri's room. She knocked lightly, peering inside when she thought she heard a voice inside. As the midfielder walked into the room, she could literally feel her heart drop into her stomach.

On the bed, you were laying half on top of Patri, eyes staring off in the distance as she was reading a book to you. Without taking her eyes off the book, Patri waved your sister in, motioning to the other side of the bed.

As Alexia approached, she got a better look at you. She took note of your injuries, filing them away in her head to clean and care for later. The closer she got to you, the more clear the finer details became. She noticed how you were clutching Patri harder than normal, as if you were afraid your girlfriend would leave. 

Carefully, Alexia slipped into the bed on your other side, one hand rubbing your back up and down. She smiled fondly as she noticed your features relaxing just slightly at the movement. But other than that, there was no other reaction to her presence. 

You continued to lie there motionless, eyes more focused on the wall than anything else, the sound of your girlfriend’s voice lulling you into a trance of sorts. For the next thirty minutes or so, the three of you sat in place, continuing on with everything you were previously doing. 

Once Patri finished the chapter, she placed the book back on her bedside table, careful not to rouse you too much. Instead, she adjusted her body so you both could be more comfortable. 

Between the three of you nothing was said, the quiet settling in the room as you all waited for someone to break the ice. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, just quiet, each of you playing with your thoughts and imagining the possible outcomes of this talk. 

“What happened?” Alexia asked softly, afraid of breaking the tranquility. 

Silence followed the question, but you all knew you were going to answer. It was just going to take a second. 

“I got into a fight at Leo’s bar," you finally managed, your voice small as you curled in on yourself. Well as much as you could while still mostly laying on your girlfriend. 

"Did you win?" Patri asked, earning a slap to the back of her head from your sister. 

"Do not encourage her," Alexia reprimanded the younger midfielder. 

"Security broke it up," you answered. 

"Y/N-" Alexia started to say, but getting cut off by you. 

"Don't worry, Leo said he'll take care of it. No one will know," you said, face still dejected as you could only imagine the disappointment on Alexia's face. 

"That's not what I was going to say," Alexia sighed, hating that your first reaction was to correct or explain instead of expressing what was going on in your head. Yes, your sister was glad that things were taken care of discreetly, but she wanted to know what led to the fight and if you were okay both physically and mentally. 

Right now, she hated that you felt like you couldn’t just talk to her. But she left it at that for the moment. In times like these, it was better not to push and let you offer as much as you were willing to. In the days following, things will start to make much more sense. 

With the lull in the conversation, Alexia decided now was the best time to do what she’s been wanting to do since she saw you walk off, “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” You said, reaching behind you to grab your sister’s hand, holding it in yours. “You never have to apologize to me.”

Alexia literally could have cried at that moment. She and Alba always joked that you were the ticking time bomb in the family. You had the shortest temper, but you probably also had the biggest heart of them all. 

“You might not think I have to, but I want to,” Alexia said, squeezing your hand firmly. “You are my baby sister and I should be protecting you, not tearing you down. We can fight and argue, but we always have each other’s back.”

In response, you squeezed her hand, and that was it. Your thoughts haven’t settled in your mind enough to voice them. So you continued in autopilot mode, trying to draw comfort in your girlfriend’s steady breath and your sister’s protective presence. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I know that I’m hard on you,” Alexia began, understanding that you probably weren’t going to be saying anything else about the fight at the bar for the rest of the night.  “It’s just, I know how this world can be and I don’t want people to have any reason to be mean and tear you down. I was only trying to protect you by trying to keep you from making any of the mistakes I made. I wasn’t trying to rule your life. I didn’t realize what I was doing to you in the process.”

"I don't know how to be like you, Ale," you told her, eyes still drawn to the patterns you were drawing on your girlfriend's stomach. "That's not me, and I hate disappointing everyone when I fall short of expectations."

"I don't want you to be me. I want you to be better,” Alexia said, scooting just a bit closer to you on the bed. “You are the best of us.” 

Those words coming from her meant more than you could explain. You could literally feel tears welling up in your eyes. 

"Thank you," you choked out, starting to feel your body fully relax.

Finally, all the events today crept up on you. In a few short minutes, you were snoring softly against Patri's chest, Alexia's one hand wrapped up in one of yours. 

Patri ran her hand through your hair, a smile on her face now that you have finally let your body heal itself. 

"Patri," Alexia called. The young midfielder turned to your sister curiously. "Thank you for taking care of her."

"You don't have to thank me. I know she'd do the same thing for me," Patri said, kissing your head. 

And while you were sleeping your girlfriend and your sister sat there grateful you were okay and feeling lucky that they had someone like you in their lives. 

[jamminvroomvroom]

aren’t i supposed to be happy now? intro

ln x fem teammate!reader 

intro part!! 

part 1    part 2    part 3    part 4    part 5    part 6    part 7    part 8    part 9

hi so this is the start of my new lando fic, loosely based on the song ‘happy now?’ by finneas. kinda has a friends to enemies to lovers vibes because we love the drama. i hope you enjoy and as always, any feedback is greatly appreciated!! 

warnings: 18+!! swearing, angst, stupid asshole (kinda) lando my beloved 

1.7k words 

the top step of the podium was something very familiar to you. it was comfort and pride, the sign of a job well done. all throughout your career, you had been fortunate enough to grace that step, from knocking about in a kart when you were ten, up until now, the start of your third season in formula 1. you were one of the lucky ones, with several podiums sporadically embedded into your rookie season, followed by a handful more in the subsequent season. the steps of the podium hadn’t slipped away yet. 

you had tried to never let it get to your head, seeing those monumental steps as a breath of relief, something that you had earned through your relentless hard work, as opposed to something that was your right. you’d made that mistake in your formula 2 season. it was more out of resentment than the belief that you were gods gift to racing, rivalries heating up and boiling over as you approached the end of the 2018 season and prepared to make your move into formula 1, the pinnacle of motorsport, your childhood dream come true. 

it was a dream that you’d shared with him. 

now, your relationship with lando was dead. buried and forced to the back of your mind. but that couldn’t erase over ten years of friendship, of wheel to wheel duels on the karting tracks, shared podiums, stolen glances of longing, and then eventually of resentment. it certainly didn’t erase the years of competing together, sleepy drives back home from tracks on the backseat with your head resting on his shoulder, dreaming of reaching f1 to fight for world championships or the way you felt whenever he looked at you. 

the call you’d received at the beginning of the 2018 formula 2 season had felt like someone was playing a joke on you. there had been whispers for a long time about a seat being open for you at mclaren but you hadn’t believed it, refusing to buy into premature speculation. the very suggestive call had implied that the seat would be yours very soon, some kind of contractual disaster happening with the driver that had been lined up for 2019. you’d taken that phone call with a pinch of salt, after all you had a season of racing ahead of you which called for all of your attention. but the second call you’d received, mid way through the season, had sealed the deal. mclaren wanted you and you wanted mclaren.

unfortunately, nothing could ever be that easy. there was plenty of controversy around your move to the team. you were called a pr stunt, a way to make the team relevant again, because clearly that’s all you could be capable of as one of the very few women who’d made it onto the grid. it was insulting. all of the titles, wins, podiums in your back pocket were shoved aside by a cruel audience, but it was something you had grown used to. being a woman in motorsport had created an armour around you, a tough one to crack. you knew that sensitivity to the comments would get you nowhere; you’d do your talking on the track, just as you always did. 

to hell with all of those comments. everyone important around you had been happy for you. almost everyone. after the first call you’d received, lando was the first person you’d told. he was a mclaren reserve driver and the first seat at the team had his name on it, it had been a done deal. the concept that you’d both be driving for the papaya team in the next season was the sort of thing epic movies were made out of, the sort of thing you’d daydreamed about when you were just a stupid fifteen year old with your first real crush on your stupid best friend. it had seemed too good to be true. you were quickly proven right. 

you’d cried when you found out that the seat was yours. years of hard work had paid off and you had finally made it, your best friend at your side. initially, lando had been over the moon for you. but what you hadn’t known was that as the hype around you started to grow, he had realised that maybe it was foolish to be so excited to have you as a teammate. you would wipe the floor with him. you’d been doing that for almost a decade already, so he had no doubt that you would excel as soon as you’d found your way around the car. his anxiety had gotten the best of him and he found himself withdrawing from you, all of his focus on the upcoming year and how he would navigate it with you as his teammate. you terrified him, always had done, but until now, his fear of you had brought excitement that sent shivers running down his spine. now, the fear was all too real and he didn’t want to think of what you could so easily symbolise: that he wasn’t good enough, that he didn’t deserve the seat. so, he did what he so cleverly thought was the best thing to ease his worries and shut you out. he figured he’d be alone soon enough, even if he was physically by your side. it was easier to take this choice into his own hands, rather than let you slip away when you finally realised your full potential that he had been aware of since he saw you drive for the first time. 

his cruel behaviour had hurt you. a lot. you had always been there for each other, never allowing the sport to creep into your personal relationship, that had grown increasingly closer. it had been the ultimate betrayal, and one that made no sense to you whatsoever. race week after race week as you battled it out for the formula 2 title, you’d tried to catch him in the paddock, to no avail. he even managed to avoid you when you shared a podium, fleeing the scene as soon as he could, anything to get away from you. that’s when the resentment in you started to grow. you hated how he’d made you feel in the months leading up to your formula 1 debut, and you’d channeled that into beating him at every single opportunity. he fought hard, even harder than he usually did, but you were the one making yourself at home on the top step of the podium, with him uncomfortably stuck in second place. you let it get to your head. you didn’t care where you finished, as long as it was ahead of him. eventually, your good friend george had beaten the both of you to the title but you didn’t care. you’d beaten lando and that was more than enough for you at the time. 

it was almost comical to other people how you’d both storm off in opposite directions as soon as the picture of the podium sitters had been snapped. gone were the days of messing around in interviews together, replaced by snide comments and death glares. it was exhausting and painful, but he’d started it. a minor incident at monza, mere days before you were both set to be announced for the 2019 season had set off an unpleasant chain of events after the race that pretty much declared the end of your friendship for good. he’d clipped you going into the first chicane halfway through the race and you had seen red, simply because it was him that had hit you, despite it not really affecting your race in any way. harsh words were thrown around in the paddock after the race and you’d told him to “go fuck yourself”, or something delightful along those lines. a line had been drawn under the incident bright and early the next day at the mclaren technology centre, right before you were to be announced, when you were both given a very stern talking to about public relations and how to not look like a pair of fucking children in front of the media. despite not being able to look at one another the entire time you were sat there being lectured, you’d gotten the message loud and clear, vowing to be on your best behaviour from then onwards. 

the formula 2 season wrapped up and eventually you had thrown yourself into testing, wanting to make sure that you were ready and that everyone knew you weren’t playing around. that lando knew you were not to be messed with. your entire career had been building up to this, and you weren’t willing to let it slip away, opportunities like this one not often given to a woman. it could not go to waste. your debut season had gone as well as it could have, picking up the occasional podium. it was a rookie season that dreams were made of and you were extremely proud of the year you had, as was the team behind you. the season that followed was even stronger, another string of podiums, including one in austria, the podium nostalgically shared with your teammate. 

entering your third season, you were no longer scared of, well, anything. the opinions of others ceased to matter as you excelled in the team and in your career, on the hunt for your first win. you only got better, hungrier, feistier, totally undeterred. the white noise around you about your age, attitude, gender, about how you were a hysterical woman who refused to get along with her teammate simply did not matter anymore. you knew that 2021 would be your best season yet. your disdain towards lando only helped your form, if you were being completely honest, and as far as you were concerned, that contempt for the man on the other side of the garage was not going anywhere anytime soon. you would continue to avoid each other at work as you had done so well, unless there was a pr obligation that demanded some minor cooperation, and as far as you were concerned, it would stay that way. but of course, nothing was ever that simple. 

[danpuff-ao3]

Hello! How about your favourite femslash pairing, please? Thank you!

You see...the thing is...I don't have one favorite anything so you'll have to forgive the LIST. I'll consider my favorite ships for my favorite characters and then try to pin down one for each, yeah? (Wow I am bad at this game haha.)

Hermione

Hermione/Ginny: friends to lovers with added angst from previous Hermione/Ron?? Even better if there's existing Ginny/Harry and Hermione/Ron for MEGA ANGST (and then everyone comes out and lives happily ever after.)

Hermione/Narcissa: age gap! Weird "Hermione becomes Draco's stepmum" drama. Sophisticated, posh Narcissa and outspoken brainiac Hermione finding true love!! Oh and Hermione becoming Minister and Narcissa living her dream of being Minister's wife. Super cute.

Hermione/Minerva: AGE GAP. Super smart, capable, strong women being badass and awesome together. Also, Hermione likes cats.

Hermione/Pansy: enemies to lovers! Starcrossed lovers. Also sorta opposites attract. Pansy seems more into fashion and dating and gossip, while Hermione cares more about social justice and knowledge and idk just different priorities. And they can sort of get the wrong idea about each other. Pansy can prove she's more than just a vapid little girl, and show Hermione the value in things like beauty. And what can be learned by being a bit nosy. And maybe put some party planning skills into hosting events for Hermione's various causes. Maybe Pansy seeing the light and making amends postwar. But also while in school?? Just the whole hate sex vibe. Or maybe forced proximity breaks down those walls?? Idk just so much potential.

Hermione/Lavender: similar to Pansmione in the whole "girly girl hooks up with bookworm" vibe. Also the idea of both being Ron's exes, haha! But idk something about showing a bit more grace and appreciation for hyper-feminine ladies and not turning out noses down at fashion and dating and other "girly" interests. And having those "not like other girls" girls learn to respect those things or at least not judge them so much. And also remembering they were both Gryffindors and super brave. Both fought in the war. Also I forget which book but there was a scene in a Care of Magical Creatures class where creatures were loose and Lavender was one of the ones helping rally them up while even her bestie Parvati was hiding in Hagrid's Hut? (Iirc.) Also Lavender's interest in "silly" things like Divination. And like imagine postwar Lavender lives but is scarred, and Hermione is a bit impatient with her vanity but comes to be more compassionate and understanding and helping Lavender regain her confidence. And idk just Hermione the know-it-all having to learn more from others and be more open minded and let go of her preconceived notions and initial judgments.

Hermione/Fleur: okay this is the winner for me. I can't get past the idea of them bickering and having formed Opinions about each other that get challenged. The idea of them learning so much from each other and coming to respect and admire one another. And realizing the other is super strong and capable and intelligent and independent and loyal and brave as heck. Shared values!! Oh and the idea of them coming together over challenging archaic laws about magical creatures and beings!!!!

Ginny

Ginny/Hermione: [see above]

Ginny/Hooch: not enough of it but c'mon, age gap!! Two athletic ladies!! Bonding over Quidditch! I dig it. They're both pretty badass and I don't see either putting up with bs from anyone, let alone each other. Hooch might underestimate Ginny due to her age but Ginny comes into her own and proves her worth and earns Hooch's respect!!

Ginny/Gwenog: another rare pair fantasy that I need more of!!!! Again, two athletic ladies. Are they teammates, or opponents on the pitch?? Either way, I'm into it. But because there's so little of it, I still think my favorite for Ginny is:

Ginny/Luna: they're just so sweet and adorable. All the time spent together, working together, in Dumbledore's Army during that last year. And, because I'm astrology nerd, the fiery Leonine energy of Ginny and the airy Aquarian energy of Luna is such a perfect match!! (Also Leo and Aquarius are oppositions which makes it even more fun but let me not delve too deep into my astrology rabbit hole.) But it's how much of those respective energies I see in both of them and how it works together that sells me! Fire is spirit and zest and passion! Air is sociability and learning! Luna with her head in the clouds, so curious and creative! Ginny so adventurous and protective. They're both so self-assured and independent they could have their own separate lives but also share a life together that is fulfilling and peaceful and lovely for them both. Ginny can travel for Quidditch and Luna can travel for her creatures. And I bet Ginny likes the travel and exploration enough to join Luna when the season is over. And I'm sure Luna can get work done in whatever place Ginny has games in!! Idk they just work so well together.

Luna

Luna/Cho: Ravenclaws unite!! Idk there's something sweet about it. Pretty, popular Cho and the kooky "weird" girl?? Cho's really nice and patient and probably can't see past Luna's zaniness right away, but eventually she does. They just seem like a really cute, sweet pair.

Luna/Hermione: such an almost opposites attract sorta thing. They're both clearly brave. Both appreciate knowledge. Luna's curious and creative and...yeah, a bit kooky! She's independent, self-assured, confident, compassionate, open-minded. Hermione's a bit too strict and judgmental and by the book. Luna with her head in the clouds is probably a bit much for Hermione, but I feel like they could learn from each other and be so fun together. Hermione learning to loosen up and be more open-minded herself. And if she doesn't ever believe in all the same things Luna does, learning to respect them and find the worth in them. Seeing what she can take from what Luna shows her. Luna showing Hermione how to let loose and have fun. Hermione keeping things structured and stable in their lives together. Learning and growing together and challenging each other's way of thinking!

Luna/Ginny: but yeah, this one still wins. See above in the Ginny section!

TL;DR apparently Fleurmione and Linny, but what was I supposed to do?? Not sing the praises of other femslash ships I love????

Oh wait, it would be remiss of me to not also mention:

Lily/Alice:?? Idk much about Alice, but could be cute, but mostly I'm obsessed with Harry and Neville growing up as BROTHERS. I cry how adorable.

Lily/Narcissa: okay but how about this so that Harry and Draco can grow up as brothers?? Also the drama potential of pureblood Narcissa and Muggleborn Lily. All the angst of the war. The temptation if they're both married at the time. Lily showing Narcissa that there's more to life and how colorful and vibrant her world can be outside of the cold, dark, restrictive walls of her upbringing.

....I love femslash, okay?

[illicitlimerence-writes]

cherry | b. barnes

pairing: quarterback!bucky barnes x cheerleader!fem!reader word count: 1.2k words warnings: sorta-smuttish??? like not full-on sex but like, making out?, dry-humping??, language, bucky's a horny little shit. don't know how to explain this but, forbidden love?? sorta??? idk author's note: i wrote this in like an hour, kinda short but i really like how this turned out. did not proof-read, though! as always, english is not my first language, so please be nice and sorry for any mistakes.

My Masterlist

(gif not mine, creds to owner!)

the loud cheering was now just background noise, all your focus was on the lips that kept assaulting your neck, sucking lightly.

"baby, no marks." you muttered, soft sighs escaping your lips as you threw your head back.

you heard him grunting in response, his grip on your waist tightening, pulling you closer. his other hand went to the back of your thigh, and you wrapped it around his waist, leaning against the brick wall for support, rolling your hips.

"fuck, cherry. you're gonna be the death of me," he moaned into your ear, hot breath that made goosebumps erupt on your skin, your nipples hardening against your top from the chilly night air. you shivered, throwing your arms around his neck, fingers threading through his soft hair.

he pulled his head out of your neck to take a good look at you. your neck a bright red color. cheeks flushed. loose strands of hair that fell from your ponytail framing your face. and your his favorite cherry red lipstick, completely untouched.

that was the rule whenever you and bucky made out before a football match. he could not ruin your red lipstick. it matched perfectly with your cheer uniform. but it looked even better on his neck, the stain of the trail of kisses you left on his neck clashing with his blue and gold football jersey.

bucky was the quarterback and captain of the west high wolves, meanwhile, you were captain of the cheerleader team of the east high eagles. it was basically common knowledge that your high schools were rivals, so imagine the scandal that would break loose if someone found the picture-perfect head cheerleader making out with the bad-boy quarterback of the rival team... it was risky, you both knew it, it would ruin both your reputations. but it was a risk you were willing to take, the thrill of the forbidden made your mind dizzy, your heart beat faster.

you had been careful up until that night. but you hadn't seen him in weeks, which was why you were a little too caught up to hear someone shouting bucky's name in the distance.

too lost in the feeling of bucky's lips back on you, small kisses on your cheek, your jaw, behind your ear, before finally settling back on your neck. he tapped your other thigh, and you wrapped both your legs around him, rolling your hips when you felt his hands settling on your naked skin. the red skirt you wore was now scrunched up around your waist, your red spandex shorts underneath the only thing protecting your heat from making contact with his tight jeans.

he grunted when he felt you around him, head snapping back to look you in the eyes.

"are you..?" he started, lifting one eyebrow, eyes darting to where your front met his. you bit your lip, nodding. a smirk threatening to break on your face. your heart stopped at the look he gave you, eyes dark, his grip on you tightening. "one kiss. please. i just need to taste you," he whispered, his lips on top of yours. you opened your mouth, tongue sliding out, licking his top lip.

"no, you know the rules." you muttered, rolling your hips again.

"such a fucking tease," he spat and the smirk you wore made him want to go to church to confess the thoughts that invaded his head, all the sinful things he wanted to do to you at that moment.

"you love me," you said, cocking your head to one side. with his hands on your ass, he lifted you up, making you hiss at the harsh friction.

"fuck yeah i do, cherry." he admitted, burying his face on your neck once again. "missed you so much, missed your tight little body all over me. missed my cherry," he chanted, lips traveling to kiss your breasts on top of your full shell top. in bucky's mind, you had never more beautiful on that cheer uniform. even if you were rooting for the wrong team.

"missed you too, buck. fuck." you whimpered, your senses taking control, seeking the friction you desperately needed. your soft sighs and his low moans were like music to your ears, each sound sending tingles down your body. "love you, buck. you're gonna win this game for me, baby?" you sighed, feeling adrenaline running through your veins.

"fuck, yes, cherry. gonna-"

"bucky? what the hell are you doing?"

you both froze, your eyes widening as you felt bucky setting you down on the floor, hiding you from whoever interrupted you two. he turned to face a blonde guy, bright blue eyes trying to get a glimpse of you. he wore a blue jersey that matched bucky's.

"nothing. i'll be there in a minute," bucky motioned for his friend to leave, his hand wrapping around yours protectively. the guy rolled his eyes, and instead walked up to you both.

"hi, i'm steve. you must be cherry, this idiot can't stop talking about you." he greeted you, offering you his hand.

with flushed cheeks, -the guy had caught you humping his teammate, for pete's sake.- you looked at bucky, and he sighed in surrender.

"cherry, this is steve. my best friend, he's an ass and everything he says is probably a lie. steve, this is my cherry. you know enough about her. there. now, go." he said, leaving you stunned for a second. your eyes met bucky's, you interlocked his fingers with yours. with your other hand, you took steve's.

"hi, my name's y/n. nice to meet you, steve." you smiled, shaking his hand.

"okay, enough," bucky separated your hand from steve's. taking it in his instead, which made steve laugh.

"geez, chill, man. i'm leaving. pleasure to meet you, y/n. good luck out there," he pointed to your uniform, which made bucky grunt.

"steven, i swear to god," bucky started, but was cut off by your laughter.

bucky finally relaxed his shoulders when steve turned to leave, you removed your hands from his, tracing your fingertips up his arms, locking them around his neck, fingers playing with his hair.

"your cherry?" you asked, biting your lip. and bucky wanted nothing more than to drown in the taste and feel of your lips on his.

"hell yes, cherry. mine. all mine. i'm yours, too." he wrapped his arms around your waist again, leaning your back against the brick wall, your hips flush against his.

"you're mine, bucky. and i'm all yours." you whispered, lips touching.

and right then and there, you broke the rules.

you lifted your mouth to meet his, lips crashing in a sensual, needy kiss. he didn't respond for one second, too stunned that you were actually kissing him, right before a game, ruining your his favorite cherry red lipstick. you couldn't care less. the only thing that mattered was kissing your lover like your life depended on it.

at that moment, you decided you didn't care if anyone found you. high school drama and rivalries meant nothing compared to what you felt right then. and, if the entire town decided to cast you out for being traitors, you could live with that.

all you needed was bucky.

and all he needed was his cherry.

[tropes-and-tales-archives]

Rafael Barba:  Cursed

Word Count:  5269

TW:  Minor injury (broken bones); fluff; two idiots in love; mutual pining; smut (PiV, protected).  18+ only.

AN:  Part two of a three-part series:  Part One, Part Three

Sometimes, things just went horribly, spectacularly wrong.

Some people blamed family curses, while others blamed Mercury being in retrograde.  Your older brother – a perennial screw-up in his own right – used to simply and crudely call it “the universe taking a shit on you.”

The thing was – you were remarkably put together most of the time.  You had a tough job, but you loved it, and you were good at it.  You had a small apartment, but it was cozy.  You had family that you loved, but they were far enough away that you could keep a comfortable distance from their drama.  You weren’t Type A, exactly, but you were Type A-adjacent, so you managed your chaotic life with to-do lists and deep breaths and perspective.  And it usually worked.  

But sometimes things went wrong, and when everything was finally over and the dust settled, you would be able to find where it all started for you:  a blown fuse.

When you plugged in your phone the night before, it never charged.  So, your alarm never went off, and you woke up late to a face full of weak winter sunshine streaming in through your window.  

Like a snowball loosed at the top of a very steep hill, it all grew and grew after that.

You showered and dressed hastily, forewent any makeup, let your hair air-dry.  You plugged in your phone to charge enough to see the missed calls and texts from your partner, Nick, and your commander, Liv.  You replied to both and apologized.

You packed your messenger bag – laptop, notebook, wallet.  You grabbed an extra tote bag and filled it with the gifts you had wrapped the night before.  Gifts for Liv and Nick and the rest of the SVU detectives.  Gifts for Carmen and Barba.  A gift for your friend, who you were meeting for lunch that day.

Then you left your apartment, sending up a silent prayer that the day would get better.

-----

Your day did not get better.  

In fact, it got much worse.  To the point where you’d feel like you’d been cursed.

You just never got your balance.  You got into the precinct late, flustered, barely pulled together.  You knew it was bad by how sympathetically Nick tilted his head at you, asked if you were okay.  Liv came out of her office and asked if you need a half-day.  Fin, the snarky jerk, asked if you were going to ask Santa for a hairbrush.  Amanda, the resident detective with her mind perpetually in the gutter, insinuated that you’d had a raucous one-night stand.

“I’m fine,” you told Nick and Liv.  And you shot Fin and Amanda equally disappointed glares as you settled in at your desk.

“You don’t look fine,” Nick said.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes.  “And you don’t look like you want your Christmas gift, Nicholas.”  You opened your eyes and reached into your bag to pull his present out.  You held it out tantalizingly, and when he reached for it, you jerked it out of his grasp.

“Is that what I think it is?” he asked.

Your gifts to your teammates were all the same thing:  a box of assorted baked goods.  You loved to bake, and you always broke out your grandma’s Old World recipes for the holidays.  Lebkuchen, pfeffernuse, honey cookies.  Simple shortbread that melted in the mouth.  Soft gingerbread unlike the cardboard version sold in the U.S.  You had gifted similar boxes last year to rave reviews.  In fact, you baked all the time and used any excuse to gift your creations.

You pretended to ignore Nick as he apologized and then pleaded with you, and once you finally felt a bit more settled, you gave him his gift.  And you passed out everyone else’s too, leaving just three in your bag:  one for Carmen, one for Barba, and one for your friend.

-----

By the time lunch rolled around, you felt a little better.  Still off-kilter, but better.

You stopped by Hogan Place before meeting your friend for lunch.  Barba was in a grand jury, so you rifled through your bag and pulled out Carmen’s gift and handed it to her.  

“Is that what I think it is?” Carmen asked, arching an eyebrow.  

“It is.”  You gestured to Barba’s office.  “You mind if I leave his on his desk?”

Carmen nodded, already untying the elaborate ribbons on her own gift.  In Barba’s office, you took a moment:  it was weirdly intimate being in his inner sanctuary without him there.  You could just pick up the faint hint of his cologne, the scent of coffee from the half-full and abandoned cup on his desk.  The pad of paper with his slanted handwriting across it.  The law review with pages dog-eared for future reading.  

Barba was an easy man to admire, and it hadn’t taken long for you to develop a crush on him.  You’d never say anything, of course, but you still indulged it in stupid little ways.  Like making sure he got the best cookies from each batch you’d baked.  Like making sure his ribbon was the fluffiest and curliest.  Dumb stuff.

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, but your chiming phone startled you out of your reverie.  It was your friend, letting you know that she was at the restaurant already.

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath, and you reached into your bag, barely glancing at the gift you sat on Barba’s desk.  Then you turned on your heel and jogged out of his office, already thinking of an excuse and an apology for your friend for being late.

-----

Your mistake didn’t become apparent until after lunch, when both you and your friend Rachel were sipping coffees and handing each other your gifts.  You’d gone to college together and settled in the city together, and she was one of your closest friends.

“This is for you,” she said, and she handed you a gift that turned out to be the new, illustrated omnibus edition of Philip Pullman’s “His Dark Materials.”  It was your favorite series, and she’d gotten it signed at a book shop while on a work trip to London.

“And this is for you,” you said, handing over her gift with a sly smile.  Rachel had been unceremoniously dumped over Thanksgiving by a guy you never thought was worthy of her anyway.  You had ordered a replacement boyfriend for her:  a deluxe vibrator with twenty settings, able to get her off (unlike her ex) without being a worthless drain on her energy and money (like her ex).  You took a sip of your coffee and watched her face expectantly as she unwrapped it.

“Ooooh, cookies,” she said.  

And like that, your heart fell into your stomach, your stomach fell into the floor, and time slowed down.

“No,” you whispered as the horror of the situation washed over you.  “Oh.  God.  No.”

“What?”  Rachel pulled out a small piece of shortbread, popped it into her mouth.  “I love your baking.  It’s a great gift.”

You didn’t answer – you reached across the table to pulled the discarded bow and tag from the top of the box.  Oh, god.  You’d seen the edge of the name tag, mostly hidden under the bow.  Just the “To:  Ra” visible of the “To:  Rachel.”

Like the “To:  Ra” was visible on the Rafael box, under his elaborate bow.  You had switched them, which meant if Rachel was sitting across the table from you and eating the choicest cookies…then Rafael Barba was unwrapping a fucking vibrator.  From you.  Wrapped extravagantly, like it was intentional.

Fuck.  Fuck.  Fuck.

“I have to go,” you said, tears threatening to fall, and you shot to your feet, knocking over your mostly empty coffee cup.  Your mind narrowed down to one goal:  get back to Hogan Place before Barba got out of court.  You ran out of the restaurant, forgetting to pay, forgetting to say goodbye, forgetting your own gift.  

*****

Rafael didn’t return to his office until late afternoon.  Carmen stood to greet him, and they did their usual handoff:  she passed him his messages, his mail.  He passed her a stack of folders that needed copied and filed.

“Did I miss anything?” he asked.

She shook her head.  “No visitors.  But bad news from SVU.  There’s been an accident.”

Rafael’s heart clenched as Carmen buried the lede, as she sometimes did – you’d been hurt.  The sudden tightness in his chest didn’t loosen until she said it was just a broken wrist.

“She wiped out right outside the building,” she told him.  “She was sprinting down the sidewalk and hit that icy patch near the corner.  Judge Barth saw it happen.”

“Why was she running?” Rafael asked.  “Is she okay?”

Carmen shook her head.  “Not sure.  Judge Barth had to fight her to go to the hospital.  She was really trying to get into the building, apparently, but I’m not sure why.”

Rafael gave a thoughtful hum at that, and he sent a silent prayer up for your safety.  He went into his office and shed his suit coat, noting the gift on his desk.  He ignored it for a moment to call Liv.  Maybe you were in a rush to get a warrant.

-----

He’d been able to piece it together after the fact, the series of follies that led to this moment:  him standing in front of your apartment door, waiting for you to answer.

Liv hadn’t offered any insight into your panicked attempt to get to Hogan Place.  She only knew what he knew – you were in the E.R. getting a broken wrist set after a lunch date with a friend.  She heaved a sigh and mentioned that she had already put in the paperwork to put you on desk duty while you healed.

Rafael tried to call you next, but your phone rang and rang and then went to voicemail.  It didn’t seem like your phone was off.  You just weren’t answering it.

It was perplexing.  You were so put-together, unlike most of your fellow detectives.  Your casework was as impeccable as your outward presentation.  He had never seen you flustered, but something had set you off today.  What could be so pressing that you’d fight off a judge to avoid medical care for what had to be a painful injury?

Then he turned to the gift on his desk, and a world of understanding came to him.

He could always tell one of your gifts – you gave them for the winter holidays, and Valentine’s Day, and any holiday, really.  You were an ace baker, and you seemed to love gifting your cookies and pastries in elaborately wrapped boxes, all curled ribbons and sparkling wrapping paper.  It made him smile to see it sitting on his desk, a lovely surprise after his disaster of a grand jury all day.

But it wasn’t baked goods.  It was, according to the package after he unwrapped it, a LoveFusion 2000, with twenty various settings for both g-spot and clitoral stimulation with extra battery life.

“Huh,” he said to himself, and he checked the label on the gift box, buried under your massive ribbon display. There was the problem.  “To:  Rachel,” it said.  Ah.

In the solitude of his office, Rafael threw his head back and laughed.  And laughed, until tears crept out from the corners of his eyes.  As his laughter tapered off, though, he realized the enormity of what had happened.  Circumstantial, but he bet that Rachel had unwrapped his gift of baked goods in front of you.  He bet that’s why you were sprinting to Hogan Place – you were trying to head off disaster.

The reality was sadder.  He had been in his grand jury all day.  If you had walked – carefully – you would have been able to make the switch without him being any wiser.  Instead, you had probably panicked, uncharacteristically, and broken your wrist, and failed in your mission.

-----

Rafael went to the 16thprecinct before turning to home.  He wanted to chat with Liv about an upcoming case anyway, but when he got there, Liv was gone.  So was Amaro and Fin.  The place seemed deserted, but he heard voices in the break room, and he walked in that direction.  

And heard your voice, so he slowed up and cocked his head to listen.  You must have come back into work after the E.R. to gather your things.

“I can’t ever face him,” he heard you say.  “I have to quit.  And move to another borough.  Another state.”

Rafael heard a peal of laughter and recognized it as Rollins.  “It’s not that bad,” she told you.  

“It is that bad!” you cried out.  “I put a sex toy on the desk of a sex crimes ADA, an ADA that I like a lot, by the way, and now I can’t even imagine looking at him, let alone – “

Rafael had been frozen in place by your admission that you liked him, so he missed the fact that both you and Rollins were exiting the break room as he stood just outside of it, like a creep, listening in.  You brought yourself up short, cut off when you saw him, and the expression on your face was an entire journey:  from surprise to despair to full-on resignation.  

You looked barely held together:  your coat was buttoned wrong, your hair was a wild mess, and your right hand was swaddled in a bright blue plaster cast that you held out awkwardly, like a bird with a broken wing.  Your eyes had a panicky sheen to them, and they drifted down to see your gift to him – unwrapped – peeking out from a bag he had repurposed.

“Fuckmylife,” you hissed under your breath, and you ducked around him as you walked – quickly, but carefully – out of the bullpen.

He should chase after you, but he couldn’t seem to move his feet.  You liked him?  A lot?  

Instead, he turned to look at Rollins, cocked an eyebrow at her.  She only shrugged in reply, then said, “she’s had a rough day, I think.”  

It was an understatement.

-----

He waited around a half hour for Liv, who never turned up, and then he left for home.  But as he ordered a car and waited at the curb, surrounded by a light snow shower that made the streetlights sparkle, he thought back to your little coffee date the week prior.  Or hot cocoa date, rather.  Not a date, but he had still pretended it was in the moment.  How you had made him feel that warm coziness, the unique comfort of the winter holidays, when it’s cold outside but you’re warm inside with the people you care about.

And you liked him.  A lot, apparently.  

As he waited, he scrolled through his phone and pulled up the contact information for SVU’s detectives.  And when the car pulled up, he gave your address.

-----

Rafael knew you were inside your apartment.  For one, he could hear you pacing around.  For another, once he knocked, he heard you mutter, and then your muttered curse, as you saw who it was through the spy-hole.  But you didn’t open the door, and you didn’t say anything.

“I know you’re in there,” he called out.  “Come on.  Open up.”  And because you did tease him sometimes, he added, “come on, let me in.  I’m practically vibrating from the cold out here.”

That got a reaction.  You threw open the door enough for it to bounce on its security chain, and your baleful eye peeked out at him.  “Don’t mock me,” you said.

“Let me in.”

You shook your head.  “Can’t.  Don’t want you to be an accessory to the crime that’s happening in here.”

“Which crime is that?”

You glanced over your shoulder, back into your apartment, like you were conspiring something.  “I’m staging the scene to fake my own death.  Can’t go on living as me anymore.  Thought I’d start over somewhere else.”

Rafael laughed.  “All this fuss over an honest mistake?”

You sighed and shut the door in his face, but he heard the slide of the chain, and you opened it up a moment later. You gestured for him to come in, but you refused to meet his gaze.  In fact, you hung your head so forlornly that you seemed like a puppy that had been scolded.

But he didn’t say anything at first.  He couldn’t – his eyes were taking in your apartment.  It was small, like most New York apartments were, but it was decorated beautifully for the season.  String lights, fresh pine swags festooned every available surface.  A small tree, laden with shiny baubles, was in the corner.  The place even smelled like the holidays, probably due to your baking frenzy.  It was warm and cinnamony, and Rafael wanted to curl up on that comfortable looking couch of yours, wrap himself in the comfortable looking blanket slung over the back of it, and lay in lazy slumber in your place until spring.

“It was two,” you finally offered in a small voice.  You still refused to look at him, and Rafael watched you as you fidgeted with the edge of your cast.  You seemed completely unlike yourself.  Embarrassed.  Cringing.

“What do you mean, ‘two’?”

“Two honest mistakes.  The gift, and the….uh…overheard conversation.  With Amanda.”

“Ah,” he replied, crestfallen.  His face fell a little, though you didn’t see it, and he tried to play it off.  “I didn’t really think you liked me.  It’s okay.”

Your eyes flew up to look at him, surprised, but then you glanced away again.  “No, I…ah, fuck.”  You threw your hands up in surrender and then looked him dead in the eye.  You took a deep breath.

“I was making hot cocoa,” you told him.  “Laced with Bailey’s.  You want one?”

-----

And that’s what led to this moment:  the two of you sitting on that comfortable couch, sipping delicious Irish cream-laced cocoa.  Not saying anything at first, but since you weren’t facing him, you seemed more at ease.  You talked to him, but faced your Christmas tree as you did it.

“I do like you,” you confessed.  “The honest mistake was you overhearing it.  I wasn’t ever going to say anything, since I didn’t want it to be awkward at work.”  You glanced over at him, then looked away.  “I think we work well together, and I didn’t want to mess that up.”

“I get that.”  He had felt the same way, actually.  There had been moments he thought you might feel the same way for him, but he wasn’t brave enough to take the chance.  And he didn’t want to ruin your casual work friendship on a chance.

“But now it will be awkward anyway.”  You shook your head.  “My day started out rough and it just got worse.  I should have just taken a personal day and rode it out in bed.”

The mention of the word “bed” made his mind wander, reminded him that he was inside your home, your own little haven from the world.  He wondered what your bedroom looked like, what you taking a personal day would have been like.  He imagined you in cozy flannel pajamas that matched the homey ambiance of your place.  Hair loose, makeup free.  Maybe watching one of those holiday baking shows, or maybe a cheesy holiday movie where blandly pretty white people worked through tepid problems before finding their obvious love match.

“Can we just pretend none of this ever happened?” you pleaded.  You turned a little to face him, and Rafael was alarmed to see that your eyes had that sheen of tears in them again.  You were completely discombobulated, and it hurt him a little to see it.  You didn’t seem to realize it wasn’t as bad as it seemed to you.  But that was the issue with problems – when you were in the middle of one, it always seemed worse.

“I think I’d have a hard time pretending that you don’t like me,” he told you gently.  You nodded and hung your head again.

“I don’t want to make it weird,” you said.  “I know you’re seeing someone and I – “

“What?”  His voice was sharper than he intended, and you cringed at it.

“Aren’t you?  Yelina?  From the…the case last fall?” you asked.

Of course.  The Muñoz case was your second case together, and you had witnessed it all:  the dredged up feelings from the case with his former friend and his ex-girlfriend, the attacks in the press.  Worse, you had walked in on him and Yelina one evening when Yelina had surprised him to plead for her husband.  It probably looked a certain way to an outsider like you, and when the gossip papers detailed the pending divorce in the Muñoz marriage a few months later, you had likely made an assumption.  A wrong one.

He shook his head at you.  “I am not seeing Yelina.”  He emphasized the “not” with a firmer shake of his head.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” he replied.  You still didn’t look at him – your gaze was focused on your Christmas tree as you sorted through this new information.    

“How’s your wrist?” he finally asked, his voice gentle.  All of this new information aside, you’d had a terrible day and had been injured.  

“Hurts.  I’ve never broken a bone before.”  You glanced at him and gave a sheepish smile.  “Judge Barth saw me wipe out too.  I don’t know how that will help my chances in her courtroom from now on.”

Rafael waved off your concern.  “Don’t worry about it.  You never give bad testimony.”

“Then why am I always practicing it with you?  More than anyone else?”

Here was where some of the oppressive embarrassment shifted to him.  He let his eyes fall to his half-empty mug of cocoa, but he could feel you watching him.  He wasn’t one to flush easily, but he couldn’t help it now.  He felt the heat creep up under his collar, and he knew you saw it.

If the two of you were anywhere else – Forlini’s, his office, some coffee shop – he’d never say anything.  He’d change the subject and never bring it up again.  Rafael Barba was, in many personal matters, a coward.  He let Alex slander him in the press.  He let his mother berate him for his reluctant part in bringing down Alex.  He let people think what they would about him, personally speaking, and rarely corrected them.  Why bother?

But your place was a warm, cozy little refuge, and you had all your cards on the table now.  Might as well lay his out too.

“I like you a lot too,” he said simply.

-----

And that’s all what led to this moment:  Rafael Barba in your bed.  It started, you’d explain much later, with a blown fuse and a missed alarm.  It ended with your first time together, that clumsily awkward, painfully sweet way that first times with a new person can be.

Looking back on it, Rafael wouldn’t change a single moment of it.

It started on the couch, of course.  You had scoffed at his admission, so he had scoffed back at you until you were both arguing without any real weight, trying to talk each other out of liking the other.  But it all made you smile – possibly for the first time that day – and it seemed like progress.  From planning on faking your death to smiling a little shyly at him.

He couldn’t resist kissing you after that.  And you couldn’t resist kissing him back, and while he never planned on seducing you from the get-go, he was powerless to the force of his attraction to you.  You seemed to feel the same, and you eventually broke the kiss to lead him with your good hand to your bedroom.

It was more tender than his usual hook-ups went, few though they were.  Rafael knew it was because it wasn’t just a hook-up – it was the start of something.  Potentially wonderful, possibly perfect.  He teased you a little (“want me to grab that gift you got me?” and that earned him a glare), but mostly he was gentle.  He helped you undress because your dominant hand was broken, and then he undressed himself and crawled into bed with you with a pleased sigh.  Because you were there, underneath him, and your bed was just as cozy as he had imagined it.

“Is this okay?” he murmured against your lips, swollen now from so much kissing.  He felt dazed almost, how quickly it was happening, how unexpected.  His solid weight was settled on top of you, his hips slotted between your thighs as the heavy weight of his cock pressed against the soft skin of your leg.  Your right arm was raised above your head, resting on the pillow, but your left hand touched him everywhere.  Gently, almost reverently, like you couldn’t quite believe it either.

You traced a path from the back of his neck, down across his shoulders and arms, down his back as far as you could reach.  Back again, until your fingers threaded through his hair to pull his mouth back to yours.

“This is more than okay,” you whispered before you kissed him, and Rafael groaned into your mouth, sweet with just the barest hint of liqueur from the cocoa.  He braced himself on one arm by your head but let the other hand reach down to cup your breasts, molding the firm flesh against his hands, stroking the already-hard nipples until you squirmed underneath him.

He broke the kiss and pulled back to look down at you.  Your face was flushed now, but not in embarrassment anymore.  It was naked desire for him, and Rafael realized just how much he had missed in not taking his chance with you earlier.

“Do you have protection?” he asked, and you nodded towards your nightstand.  He reach into the drawer, fumbling with the box of condoms, pushing aside what looked to be an equally powerful vibrator of your own.  He’d comment on it, but the moment was too perfect to ruin with snark.  Besides, you’d had a rough day.  No need to rub it in.

He sat back, knelt above you to roll the condom onto himself, but when he lowered his body back onto yours, he swore he saw more than just desire on your face.  He was out of practice, but he could swear it might be love, too.  Or at least the beginning of it.  

Rafael lined himself up with your entrance – already slick with arousal – but he didn’t slide into you at first.  He couldn’t know exactly what you were thinking, but he wanted you to know that this wasn’t just a casual fling for him.  That, if you wanted more, he did too.

“I’m not saying I’m glad you had a bad day,” he murmured as he brushed some of your wild hair out of your face, tucked it behind your ear.  “But…”

“But my broken wrist is the price for getting laid?” you finished with a grin.  

Rafael shook his head and didn’t return your smile.  “But I’m glad that some truth came out,” he corrected you.  “I’m glad I overheard you.  It gave me the courage to admit the same.”

You reached up and laid your palm along the side of his face.  “Rafael Barba, are you a romantic?  All this time, and I never knew?”

To answer, he dropped his head to kiss you, slowly and deeply, and the moment you sighed against him, he pushed forward, entered your velvety depths with a movement just as slow and deep.  He paused halfway to watch your face for pain, but you only peered into his eyes and gave him the slightest nod to keep going.  So he did.

It was there, surrounded by you – your arms around his shoulders, your good hand threaded in his hair, your legs bracketing his hips, his cock buried in you – that Rafael realized that the warmth he felt in his chest wasn’t your cozy apartment at all.  The same way it wasn’t the hot cocoa before at the coffee shop, or the baked goods on Valentine’s Day, or the hundred little things that made up your casual working relationship with him up until now.  It was you.  Only you.

The sudden realization almost spilled out of his mouth, so he just kissed you.  He kissed you as he rocked his hips into you, slowly at first, relishing the feeling of you.  He kissed you, more urgently, as you spurred him on, his thrusting harder, faster.  He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to prolong it, but you reached down with your good hand, grasped his ass, pulled him deeper into you while chanting in his ear in a low whisper, “just like that, Rafael.  Oh, you’re perfect.”

It was your praise that set him off; being called “perfect” in your bed made the tension low in his belly snap, and he groaned your name and reached down to press on your clit, desperate to make you come with him.  You must have been close, because you did – you came together.  

Him, shuddering through his final deep, punishing strokes.  You, trembling under him as your cunt clenched against him.  You moved your hand back to his head, pulled him back to your mouth so that you could kiss him as your orgasm washed through you.  When it finally subsided, you released him, pressed a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth, and gave a pleased, heaving sigh.

“Wow,” was all you said.  

Rafael, though?  He felt like his heart was going to explode in his chest – too much feeling – so he collapsed as gently as he could on you.  He heard your quiet laugh, but then he felt your hand again.  Stroking his back lightly, scratching his head.

-----

He hadn’t intended to sleep with you, and he hadn’t intended to stay the night, but he did both.

You found a spare toothbrush for him, and he curled up in your bed naked, warm enough with your naked body beside him, tucked under the down comforter.

“I know this is fast,” he started to say, but he couldn’t think of what to say next.  That he liked you, a lot?  He’d already told you that.  That he had been half in love with you and was fully in love now?  That would probably scare you away.  

“One day at a time,” you murmured.  You were lying on your back, a little uncomfortable from your broken wrist, waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in.  Rafael was on his side, facing you, with one arm thrown over your torso under the covers.  Your good hand was on his arm, tracing little patterns along it.  “Fast, slow.  We set the pace however we want.”

You turned your head to smile at him, and he smiled back.  He felt himself growing sleepy, but he tried to fight it.  He wanted to ask if your bad day had gotten better in your estimation, but his eyes grew heavy as you stoked his arm.  

He was reminded, as he nodded off, that the winter holidays are when it’s cold outside but you’re inside with the ones you love.  He hadn’t felt that in a very long time, maybe never, but he knew he felt it now.

It was you, after all.  Making him feel cozy.  Making him feel like he was home.

[mizunetzu]

Heyo!! Can I request a Kuroo x male reader, where yn goes to give him a love letter one day, but he sees him with his new girlfriend??? And he’s like-sad and he tears up the note and he moves on??? But then one day kuroo asks to talk to him, and he confesses to reader, but since reader already moved on he doesn’t accept??? Angsty ending if you will 💔💔💔 thank you, Mr. Mizunetzu !!

Hi paola ily paola hee hee

——————

Kuroo x reader - you did once...

⚠️Warnings - Kuroo gets a gf, angst, not so much of a good ending?

Pronouns- male, he/him

You can find part two here!

——————

“(Y/n), can I talk to you real quick?”

(Y/n) looked up from adjusting his loose kneepad, and wiped a bead of sweat rolling off his face. He turned his head to his teammates still on their diving punishment, and looked back at Kuroo. They just lost to another school again, but he got his punishment done rather early. “Mm? Okay..?”

He rose to his feet, following Kuroo out the gym door. The walk to a secluded place far, far away from the main gym was silent and awkward, not to mention suspicious. If Kuroo wasn’t one of his good friends, he would’ve thought he was about to be kidnapped. Or murdered.

Eventually, they stopped where the fenced pathway met the grass. Kuroo stopped ominously, further proving (Y/n’s) ‘serial killer’ theory. He turned around, facing (Y/n), and leaned on the railing.

(Y/n) stiffly held his hands behind his back. “So...” he rocked on his heels, trying to seem as casual as possible. “...what did you...need...?”

He was met with no response. Kuroo, instead, gripped the railing tighter, his knuckles turning a pale white. His eyes were downcast and he was sweating like crazy. He looked like he’d seen a ghost.

(Y/n) stepped forward and crouched down, so he could see Kuroos face behind the mop that was his hair. He rested his palms on his knees, trying to decide what to say.

“...I...think your hair looks nice...today...”

If it’s one thing he hates, it’s awkward silence. Not to mention the suspense of waiting on someone to say someone possibly life changing. I mean, why else should he drag him out miles away from the gym during training camp?

“Uh-If we don’t hurry up, we’re gonna miss our next match-“

“I need to get something off my chest.”

(Y/n’s) throat closed up. It was simple. The secluded area, Kuroo flushed face, fiddling and chipping the rust off the railing. He didn’t know how he didn’t see it before. He’s been in this situation plenty of times, with girls he can’t even remember the face of. But oh how much he’d love to be in this situation a few months ago.

————

‘Just do it. just do it. God, just do it. Worse comes to worse, he’s straight. It’s not like he’s the type of person to de-friend someone because they like them!’

(Y/n) gripped the white envelope behind his back harshly, crinkling it on the corners. It had a red, heart shaped sticker on the seal flap, with the words ‘To Tetsu’ written in dark pink across the back.

Both Karasuno and Nekoma were bidding their new friends goodbye, all scattered across the parking lot of Karasuno. (Y/n) paced around awkwardly, looking for Kuroo’s familiar mop of black, messy hair. He was nervous, to say the least. Very nervous.

“Ne, Kenma,” (Y/n) placed a sweaty palm on Kenmas handheld game, pushing it down lightly and forcing him to look up.

“Mm.”

“Have...have you seen Tetsurou? I need to give him something.”

Kenma hummed in acknowledgment, and nudged his head to the side. Sure enough, Kuroo was there, off in the distance and talking to someone he couldn’t make out. His back was facing towards them, and his hand was on his hip. (Y/n’s) heart pounded even more.

“Th..an..k...y-you...” (Y/n) gave a lopsided, very stressed out smile, and limped his way over to Kuroo. Kenmas eyes were drawn to the extremely obvious love-letter being wrinkled by (Y/n’s) sweaty hands. He pursed his lips.

He then looked up to the petite girl chatting with Kuroo. It wasn’t visible in (Y/n’s) line of sight, but it was to Kenma. He almost felt kind of bad.

(Y/n) stopped dead behind Kuroo, his eyes fixated on the ground as he ran through his memorized confession for the millionth time that day. He tapped on his shoulder, keeping the letter flush against his back with his other hand.

Kuroo turned around, and that was when his eyes landed on the brown-haired girl wearing an obviously oversized Nekoma jacket. From context of the scene, (Y/n) supposed it was Kuroo’s. He gripped the letter tighter.

The girl walked forward and extended her hand out. Her bubbly aura practically suffocated (Y/n). “Hi! You must be ‘(Y/n)’. Tetsu was just talking about you! You two are like—buddy buddies right?”

‘Tetsu.’ That was (Y/n’s) nickname for him. Only he got to call him ‘Tetsu’...and who gave her the right to call him by his first name?

(Y/n) glanced at Kuroo. Kuroo shoved his hands into his pocket and grinned. It wasn’t his usual shit-eater smirk, rather a genuine, lovesick dopey smile. A smile (Y/n’s) never seen before, not directed at him at least. It was a sight he wanted to burn into his mind, but at the same time, he wanted to slap that smile right off his face.

“(Y/n), this is Yumi-chan. She’s our new manager.”

Kuroo stepped behind Yumimite, and draped his arms around her dainty shoulders.

“She’s also my new girlfriend~”

“Oh-hush it, you!” Yumimite turned around and berated Kuroo with small punches, earning a playful chuckled from the Kuroo. (Y/n’s) grip on the wrinkled letter loosened.

“...ahaha! Congrats..! When...when did you two get together?” If (Y/n) was good at anything, he was good at pretending to be interested in something. Maybe he should’ve joined the drama club instead of the volleyball club.

“Mm. We got together just last week. She gave me a love letter.” Kuroo patted the girl on her head, ruffling her neat brown hair and making her blush red. It looked like it felt nice. He wondered how it would feel to have Kuroo’s undivided attention, to be pat on the head like a blushing schoolgirl. To be a small, pretty girl next to Kuroo, to have the ability to call him ‘his’. All his nervousness simmered away, replaced by a strange ache of numb.

“Well, that’s awesome dude! Honestly, I don’t know how you managed to snag a girlfriend before me...” (Y/n) slouched dramatically, quickly hooking the letter in the waistband of his volleyball shorts and tugging his shirt over it. “Especially such a cutie like her! I’m (L/n), by the way...”

Kuroo chuckled, slinging an arm around Yumimite. “Don’t go flirting with my girl now. You have plenty of girls practically throwing their panties at you.”

‘Yeah...but I’m gay, Tetsurou. For you no doubt! I-I love you-!’

(Y/n) almost wanted to yell that out. And he almost did. But he chose instead to keep silent and laugh in response.

(Y/n) bowed slightly. “Anyway, it was nice meeting you. I just wanted to say hi to Tets-uh, Kuroo...”

Kuroo tilted his head at the use of his last name, but brushed it off when Yumi hooked her arm in his. The couple bid their goodbyes, as they turned around and walked off. (Y/n) followed suite, turning around robotically and marching off.

Once he was a good enough distance away, he stopped behind a trash can and fished the letter out from his sweaty back.

He watched as the big pink words ‘To Tetsu’ bled and distort with every falling teardrop rolling down his cheeks. The water expanded and smudged the ink lighter and lighter until the words were practically indecipherable. You couldn’t tell it was a love letter anymore. Especially because (Y/n) ripped and trashed it up til it was a pile of pink and white paper shreds.

He tossed the stray flakes of soggy paper into the trash bin, watching as it fluttered and twirled tauntingly down the trash can. He quietly scrubbed at his red hot face, probably soaking his shirt with his salty tears. He rested his hands on the edges of the bin.

“Okay...” (Y/n) stretched up, spitting onto the concrete. “I...wonder...if my favorite ramen place is open...”

Strangely he didn’t feel devastated, or heartbroken at all. He just felt sort of numb. He didn’t feel the need to blast heartbreak music and cry out on his bed for hours on end. In fact, he was glad. Albeit a bit raw, and maybe a bit tired, but glad.

He got closure for the confusing feelings bubbling down his throat ever since he’d met Kuroo Tetsurou. He got his answer, and even if it wasn’t the preferred one, it was something.

The recovery process was easier than most people would think. It only took a couple long days to get him back to his prime condition. It was a given, since (Y/n) had so much other things to be worrying about. Midterms, volleyball practice, his friends. It’s a given that he would move on the things that was no longer on his priority list.

And Kuroo Tetsurou was no exception.

——

It was kind of pathetic to see such a high strung man like Kuroo so shaky and nervous. Though, he felt the same way three months ago, spending the whole golden week perfecting a letter he never got to read. What a hypocrite he was.

(Y/n) cleared his throat. “So...what did you wanna say?”

“I-just,” Kuroo swallowed thickly. “Ah-I...give me a second...”

“Okay, take you time, Kuroo~” he stood back up to his full height, and leaned on the rail across from him. It was obvious they weren’t gonna get anywhere. “So...hows ‘Yumi-chan’ doing?”

“Ah. We broke up. She’s gay. She has a girlfriend now.”

“Aw, I’m sorry. Though, good for her for snagging a girlfriend. No offense.” Kuroo mumbled out a ‘none taken.’ (Y/n) continued.

“Was that what you wanted to talk about? Her breaking up with you?”

“No! Actually, I broke up with her first. And it was...it was kinda mutual.” Kuroo sharply inhaled. “But it does have something to do with what I need to tell you.”

How could he be more obvious. (Y/n) forced a smile. It felt mandatory now. “Really? That’s interesting. Do tell.”

‘Please...Please don’t say it.’

“I broke up with her...because I had these...feelings.”

‘Please don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to read it. I don’t want to know it.’

“And you know how she’s gay? Well, I think I am too.”

‘No shit Sherlock. I don’t wanna hear it. You’ve been fiddling around with your hands like a schoolgirl. Stop it, so we can just be friends like we used to be. Don’t make it awkward. Don’t make me hear it. Please.’

“And...well...”

‘Don’t make me look at your crestfallen face when I say no. It’s too much for even me to handle. I don’t want to see that.’

(Y/n) knitted his eyes shut. A fierce shudder threatened to rattle him and cover Kuroo’s mouth, but he kept still, as difficult as it was. He braced for impact.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

There it was.

(Y/n) pursed his lips and let his smile finally drop. Kuroo looked up from his trained gaze on the ground, only to be met with (Y/n’s) pitiful expression. (Y/n) never saw his face go from hopeful and love struck to devastated and heartbroken so fast.

(Y/n) cleared his throat. He was going to lay him down gently if it was the last thing he did. “...uh.”

He never said it’d be easy, though.

“If it makes you feel better...I did like you once, Tetsurou.” He only used his full first name during important situations, as he switched to using his last name instead of his first a long time ago. A lump grew in Kuroo’s throat.

Kuroo jabbed at his chest exasperatedly. “T-then what’s the problem?! We both-“

“The problem is I don’t love you. Not anymore.” Kuroo fell silent. He was so prepared to do anything it took to win over (Y/n), but after standing in front of him now, it was clear. Watching as he looked down at him with a pitying expression that made his brain go numb. He would get no where if he tried.

“...a-anymore? You liked me before? When!? Why didn’t I know?!” Kuroo grasped fistfuls of his black hair, a cold sweat condensing on his forehead. He was so animatedly desperate it was kind of sad.

“Not too long ago. Though, you kept me waiting since forever. And I thought I could wait forever.” A sorry chuckle emitted from (Y/n’s) lips. “I watched you go though girlfriend after girlfriend, Tetsurou. You even introduced me to Yumimite when I was going to confess to you. How do you think that felt? Even I got tired of waiting.”

“You...you were...” Kuroo had never felt so helpless. (Y/n) shrugged.

“I would give you the love letter I wrote for you that day, but it’s in a trash can somewhere. Ripped to shreds. And I don’t remember the words I wrote. I’m sorry, Tetsurou.” (Y/n) sighed and patted Kuroo on the head.

“You missed your chance...”

Kuroo’s eyes stung, threatening to unleash hell, but he promised himself he wouldn’t cry. No matter what. Instead, he rubbed the back of his neck and stood back up.

“I never stood a chance, did i?” Kuroo chuckled. It was a sad chuckle, one that made (Y/n) want to cry aswell.

“That’s the sad part.” (Y/n) pressed his lips into a fine line, turning it into a smile conotated with pity.

“You did once.”

——————

Go sit there and stare at the wall in silence as you feel bad for Kuroo getting rejected by you. Go on, stare. Maybe then I’ll consider a part 2 (and if people comment or reblog asking for a part 2, hee hee.)

[caxsthetic]

SLEEP THE NIGHT — miya atsumu

Type: Standalone Movie (One-Shot Fiction)

Cast: Miya Atsumu

Storyline: Tonight, he want to be the best boyfriend that he could be.

Genre: Drama, Slice of Life

He never cooked.

Miya Atsumu never dared to stand in the kitchen because he knew too well what could possibly happen. His twin brother who was now the owner of the infamous onigiri chain always told him that whatever he touched somehow turned into fire.

But he didn't care, at this moment he could only focus on the opened page of his tablet where your favourite food displayed. He tried to find the high rated recipe, even though it was not the simplest one, he just wanted to cook what was best for you.

After all, a perfect woman like you only deserves the nicest thing in life.

You were so patient, always supporting him through every step that he took. Never once you complained about his busy schedule, his almost non-existent presence inside the apartment you shared, or even the way he put you second after volleyball.

Volleyball always came first, that was a fact that you knew since you dated him long ago in high school. He loved the said sport more than anything in the world. His fiery passions, his energy, his time — he gave it all to a sport that he found together with his brother when they were just a silly kid.

And then came you, always silencing all those nosy new supporters when it was time for him to serve. Then came you, helping him answer a question that his teacher threw at him because he fell asleep in class after a harsh tournament.

You, a woman who helped him get through his days as your existence was like a guiding star for him.

He would fall into pieces if you were not there, walking by his side to remind him of time. He needed time to eat, time to rest, time to let loose and hang out with his beloved friends from high school. Atsumu was sure that he would be lost without you there for him.

So just this one time, he wanted to make it right for you.

"You don't have to cook for me, Atsumu." He just hummed to give you a sign that he heard you. "Atsumu, please." But he ignored your plea and continued to read the recipe. He wanted to do something good, something that a perfect boyfriend should do.

You could only let out a sigh as you sat on the kitchen island's stool, eyeing the national setter as he carefully added some ingredients on the pan. He hissed as the oil splashed out a little, hitting his skin that made him go into panic mode.

A chuckle slipped from your lips as you saw him frantically running to the sink, letting out a sigh of relief once he could feel cold water streaming down his hand, easing the pain in an instant. He really tried, today he really tried.

You didn't have the heart to stop him since you knew that once he set his mind on something, he wouldn't care about what anyone else's said. So you just sat there, becoming a company that he wanted, just like you always became for years slipping into his life.

"Come on, Atsumu." He insisted you to stay still as he cooked for you, and you didn't want to hurt his pride by walking toward him without telling him first. "Let me help you." So you asked, hoping that he would accept your proposition.

"Nope! Let me try this on my own." He answered with the same excitement as before and went back to his task. "Just sit there, I am almost done. Promise." Then he calmed down, composing himself so he could cook with a clear mind.

He needed to do it, he couldn't let tonight turn into another day where you ended up being the one who took care of him.

Atsumu turned off the stove before preparing the pristine white plate that would be used to showcase your favourite dish. He smiled in triumph as he looked at the masterpiece. Tonight was the first time he cooked a meal like this, and he couldn't help but be proud of himself for this one achievement.

Though, the glee that he felt right now was nothing compared to the twinkle that was seen in your eyes.

Your lips tugged into a smile as he set down the meal in front of you. He didn't want to eat, no, he wanted to see you first as your hand grabbed the fork. And the second you popped the piece into your mouth, he never felt this happy to see someone he loved enjoying his hard work.

You squealed a little, humming in satisfaction as you tasted the food that the blonde made just for you. It was happiness, written all over your face as you continued to eat, and each bite only made you crave for more.

Maybe this was what Osamu felt, maybe this was the reason why his brother wanted to be in the culinary career. To make people smile, to see the joyful look from your loved one for something that you made.

Wouldn't it be lucky to have the younger twin as a lover? Running a respected business, working together with a dear friend, all bills covered, making something that others could enjoy, things that his lover would cherish at the end of the day.

Truthfully — Atsumu was a little bit jealous of his twin right now.

Because with volleyball, he couldn't do the same. Sure, you were there on almost every match that he had. Yes, there was always a smile on your face as you cheered for him. And of course, you looked so happy as you stood at the stands with pride swelling your chest.

But was that enough to give to a lover?

His winning only belonged to him, it was something that anyone else couldn't enjoy, except maybe his teammate. Unlike food that could be tasted, unlike clothes that could be worn. Volleyball just, well, volleyball. It was a sport that he loved, one that he couldn't share with a lover.

Yet you never changed, you never left him. Even though he couldn't give much, even though he was not that perfect boyfriend who could pay all the bills and buy you expensive gifts — you stayed, for such a long time, patiently there even though he was barely around.

"Atsumu?"

He jolted when his name slipped from your lips. Brown orbs immediately finding yours that filled with concern, face softened at whatever expression that was shown on his facade right now. "Why don't you eat your meal? Do you dislike it now?"

"No, no." He cleared his throat, avoiding your gaze for a moment. "I like it, I like anything that you love, (Y/n)." He wanted to bonk his head for saying such a cliche sentence, but he couldn't help it since it was exactly what he felt.

You only gave him a smile before focusing back to the meal that he made for you. And for him, seeing you like this, so adorable as you shove your favourite food in your mouth — he wished that he did something like this sooner, adding some spices to his endless routine at the court.

Adding you, to his daily routine.

"I am going to clean the dishes, okay?" You said softly as you got up from your seat. Your plate was already empty with how fast you ate the meal. "You already cooked, so let me do this one."

He didn't answer and just ate the rest of the food on his plate. With his speed, he choked a little but kept continuing anyway. He gulped down a glass of water right after his plate was clean without anything on top of it.

"No. Let me be a good boyfriend to-"

"Atsumu."

The setter immediately went silent from the intonation that you used. Stern, yet still filled with warm. He didn't dare to say anything as you grabbed his plate away, afraid that he would ruin the perfect night.

Like what he always did, like all the nights before this.

"Just go upstairs, I will join you in bed once I am done." He didn't move though, eyes fleeting to where you were right now as you walked to the sink.

"You promise?"

You dropped the plate gently, letting out a sigh before turning your face toward him. There it was, a smile that always made him feel at ease. You looked so breathtaking even if you only cladded with old pajamas and hair sticking out like you haven't combed for days.

"I promise, Atsumu."

And with that, he stood up. Knowing for sure that you were a woman of your word.

Atsumu wanted to walk up toward you, wrapping his arms around your torso as he let his face rested on your nape, sniffling your scent as much as he could. But he was afraid, he never did that before, what if you didn't get used to him for being so touchy like that?

He decided to turn his head and ascend to the second floor where the shared bedroom was located. When he thought about it, he was rarely there, sleeping on the same bed with you even though it would be years since he had you as his lover.

Most of the time he was always out, practising until late at night, bonding with his teammates, and decided to crash at his friend's apartment instead since it was too far from his place to their gymnasium. Yet you always reached for him. Making time to give him some healthy lunchboxes and snacks in between your busy hours of work.

He realised that he was such a bad boyfriend.

"Hey, 'Tsumu-"

"You are coming today, right?" He asked with excitement as he zipped his team jacket up. "We are going to play against Suna! Ha, I want to rile him up so much I wonder how he is in the court right now." He looked like a child, gleeful as he looked at his reflection on the mirror. "You gonna be there?"

You could only stare at him, spinning your brain to think about what sentence that you should let out.

"W-Well, of course." You cleared his throat, cursing at yourself for even stuttering. "You promised to take me to that restaurant you reserved after the match too, how could I waste a chance to spend time with my boyfriend?"

And as you saw his face contorted into a shocked one, you knew that you were back in the same cycle all over again. "You forget, didn't you?"

"Fuck, I am sorry." He immediately turned his face toward you, fear coated his eyes. "I forgot to make the reservation and I— shit! I even promised Suna to hang out after that." He immediately took a few steps forward, wanting to cup your cheek as he knew you didn't deserve to be treated like this — from time to time.

"It's okay, 'Tsumu." And this was always the outcome. "Volleyball world comes first, I know. It's alright." For you to be so understanding, for you to realise your place. "Just make it up for me by enjoying your game. Win this game for me, maybe?"

He was relieved that you didn't get angry, most women would kick his ass if he acted like this all the time. But never you, never his (Y/n).

"You know I always win." He chuckled softly, followed by yours as he leaned in to press his lips on your forehead. "And today is nothing different. Why would I need to win for you just today though? The other match wins were all for you too."

"So it's like a routine, then?" Your eyes fleeting to pierce into his brown orbs. "Hey, 'Tsumu, do you have any plan for me today?"

Why did he feel like that question was a trap? With how your eyes filled with hope, he wanted to say that he indeed had a plan for you. But he didn't, and he couldn't lie. Because in the end, you always see right through him. That was proven by how the hope was gone even before he could part his lips.

"I see." There was a little remorse in your tone, and he wanted to cheer you up in an instant. "That's okay, then!" Yet you were the one who cheered him up, didn't want him to worry about anything. "Come on, let's go. I don't want your teammates to be wary if you are late!"

He frowned when he remembered that day. How he dropped you to stay with his twin brother the whole match, the way your eyes glimmered as Osamu gave you a lunch box filled with your favourite filling onigiri. The hug that was shared, that lingered longer as his twin congratulated you a 'happy birthday'.

Atsumu wanted to punch himself when he realised that it was your birthday after all. The reason why you wanted to spend time with him, why you seemed more clingy that day, of course. And yet, he was not the first person who gave you the greetings, even though he was the one who you saw first thing in the morning.

He always wondered about why you decided to stay with him in his free time that was almost non-existence.

How you always let everything slide, how you suck it up and just focus on his well being, how you answer everyone teasing about him being a bad boyfriend — yet you always answered with pride that whatever happened, he was a good one, and you were happy to have him as your boyfriend.

But at one point, anyone must have hit their limit. Right?

"What is clouding in that big head of yours, Atsumu?" You flicked his forehead, and it was like a reminder to him that he had you in his arms right now, laying under the warm blanket in the bedroom that you two shared. "Your upcoming—"

"You." He answered truthfully before averting his gaze from the ceiling to your face. "I was thinking about you, honestly."

There was a flicker of sadness in your eyes, and he wanted to curse at himself for saying something like that out of the blue. "I am sorry, I know that tonight was supposed to be just us enjoying the moment together and not being sappy."

He held your body even closer than before, afraid that you would be gone too soon if he let it loose. His body shifted a little so he could plant a kiss at the crown of your head, eyes fluttering close as he bathed on the scent that reminded him that he would never be alone.

No words were being said after that, just you and him in each other's embrace. Your fingers stayed in his unruly hair, caressing the blonde strands that slowly lulled him to sleep.

But he didn't want to sleep yet. He didn't want to close his eyes. He wanted to savour the moment with you, one that he rarely felt with how he always prioritised volleyball above everything else. Above you, even.

Atsumu rubbed his eyes from time to time, insisting to stay awake and gripped your hips a little tighter than before. Just one more minute, he wanted to feel your warm body cuddling against his skin for a little longer.

"Hey, (Y/n)." He called out, earning a little hum of acknowledgement slipping from your lips. "Can you call me like you used to?"

He could feel how your body went rigid for a second. Your breath hitched, halted as if the request was something that could hurt you. "I understand if you can't though. I am okay if you didn't, I just want to hear it again."

One second, two seconds, everything felt so heavy as he waited for your answer. He wanted to hear his nickname from your lips, it sounds so lovely, not irritating like how his brother called him with the same name.

"Okay, 'Tsumu."

He felt so relieved as he heard his name rolled down your tongue. Happiness, love, comfort, he found it all with the way you called his name. You always use that nickname ever since you dated him, and it felt like a lifetime ago since the last time he heard it from you.

It was just Atsumu now. No more 'Tsumu, just his full first name that still sounded so odd since he still couldn't believe his mind. No, he could believe it. With how much he neglected you, with how much he was never there in your life — he acknowledged it. He just didn't want to.

"You should sleep, 'Tsumu." Your fingers trailed down his cheek as you looked up. "You have practice tomorrow, right?"

You knew all about his schedules, all the things that he allowed to eat and things that he had to do. You printed his routine in the back of your mind, somehow up until now, you couldn't help but care for him.

"Yeah, I have practice tomorrow." He gulped down before booping your nose playfully. "But I want to stay awake a little more. If that's too much to ask?"

He mustered his puppy eyes, pouting a little and tightening his embrace around you. This was your weakness, to see him all clingy like this. And when you let out a sigh and giggle, he knew that he got you.

"God, I love you so much to resist you, you know that?" You whispered out under your breath. But then as if you knew in an instant what you had said, you cleared your throat. "Okay, I give in. Stop giving me that puppy eyes, Atsumu."

"Sorry, sorry." He smiled sheepishly before resting his head comfortably on the pillow once again, securing you in his embrace as you laid back on his chest. "One more question, (Y/n). And then I promised I would zip my mouth after that until we fell asleep."

"Alright, shoot."

He frowned a little, eyes scanning the unfamiliar ceiling. He was not supposed to feel like a guest in his own place. Yet as he saw the beige coloured ceiling with some starlight sticker, he didn't feel right. Yeah, it was the price that he had to pay for rarely here in this apartment with you.

"From scale zero to ten, how perfect of a man I am today?"

He heard a sigh, another one slipped from you. Atsumu could count how many times you had sigh because of him, and he really wished that he could make you laugh instead of giving you headaches like this. "Don't sugarcoat though, I just needed the truth."

"Ten." You answered without doubt, yet as he looked down, wanting to see your eyes, you didn't look up. "Not just today, you always had a perfect score as a man. Passionate, have a big dream, would do anything to achieve it. If not I am not going to be your girlfriend for so long."

Ah, he just realised that he used the wrong term in his question.

"Let me rephrase it, (Y/n)." He closed his eyes, thinking if he was ready to hear the truth or not. "From scale zero to ten, how perfect of a boyfriend I am today?"

You clutched the tight shirt that he wore at his question, burying your face on his chest to hide yourself. He raised one of his eyebrows in confusion, didn't know why you couldn't answer it. Maybe it was that bad, maybe he could never be a good boyfriend after all.

"Perfect." He almost couldn't hear your answer with how it muffled on his shirt. "You are so perfect today, 'Tsumu."

Though he could hear it so clearly, the answer. He wanted to hear the other statement, of how he was always a perfect boyfriend, just like how you told him he was a perfect man. But of course it was not possible, he never became a lover that you could be proud of.

All these time, you complimented him, you showed to the world his capability. His skill in volleyball, his soft side toward his brother, how loyal he was to his friends — but you never said anything about how good of a boyfriend he was.

It was just all about him, not how he treated you.

"Hold me," He pleaded, biting his lips since he didn't want his voice to waver. "Hold me tighter than usual." His voice sounded like a whisper as he held you close, and he wanted you to do the same. "Please?"

Miya Atsumu was not someone who liked to beg, he knew you always gave what he wanted anyway. "Just tonight." But he wouldn't gamble anything right now. "I just need it tonight."

He swallowed down the tears that entreating to escape from his eyes. With how your arm moved to hold him close, caging him in a circle filled with comfort, maybe this was enough to be remembered.

Maybe this was enough to be remembered forever.

"I love you, 'Tsumu."

You sat in the living room with your head hanging low, hands covering your face as you didn't have the courage to look up at where your boyfriend sat. "But I am… Tired."

This was the first time he saw you cry. No, the first one was when he won national all those years ago in high school as he screamed at you that he won for you too. But never like this, the tears you shed right now was different from back then. "I tried, I really want to stay with you, to kiss you every morning, to cuddle with you under the blanket."

He couldn't say anything, heart thundering as he knew what would happen next. He was not stupid, of course everyone had their limit, and after years went by with a stagnant pace in the relationship — of course you were going to hit it, sooner or later.

"But you are never there, 'Tsumu."

You finally looked at him, and you could feel your heart shattered even more when you saw his expression. He was dumbstruck, tongue-tied. It was as if he knew that this day would happen, but he still didn't want to believe it.

He didn't want to believe that one day you would get tired of being second in his life.

"Does that mean…" He couldn't ask, knowing the answer to his next question. But he needed to make sure. "Does that mean you want to end this?"

The sunlight that slipped in between curtains was the one who woke him up. He hissed as it reached his eyes, forcing him to wake up. But he closed his eyes once again, stirring his body a little to wrap his arms around you, wanting to feel the warm that your body radiated.

Yet he was only met with cold.

And that was the thing that woke him up in an instant.

His breath laboured as he sat on the bed, brown orbs scanning the room that he shared with you. No, you didn’t just leave, right? But he scanned the room, again and again, searching for any kind of sign that you were still there.

Then again, who was he anyway, to know the signs. He was never here, he could count how many nights that he slept here with you. Atsumu didn’t even remember there were any photographs of you and him together hanging on the wall, he didn’t even know the time you decided to put some starlight sticker on the ceiling, he didn’t know what was the difference between this morning and the others.

Though one thing that he knew for sure, you would always be there when he woke up here.

“Then, please. Give me just one day! I just need one day of your life.”

Atsumu knew that this morning would come, when emptiness met him and reality sinked in as he remembered all the flaws that he had. His feet dragged him out from the bedroom that now felt suffocating for him. He needed you, he had to see you.

“But, Atsu—”

“I will prove it to you! I promise that I’ll make things right for you.”

It was so quiet, there was no music playing on the soundbar. You used to play some upbeat songs to fill the silence as you waited for him to show up after shower. Yet as he walked down the stairs, he could only hear his own footsteps.

“And then you can leave. You can sneak out when I am asleep. You know how much of a heavy sleeper I am, right?”

But then, he was right from the start.

“Alright, Atsumu. I will give you one more night.”

You were indeed — a woman of your words.

MASTERLIST

“and it cracks” taglist @roseestuosity​ @mistypoison @samanthaa-leanne @tycrackculture @aomineavenue @tris-does-stuff @tremblinghearts @p0taytoes @too-many-lanes @ntimacy @sunflwrsandprettyskies @chibichab @tsukkiboii @oikawoahh @hoefor2ds @edvigelacivetta @playboygeniusphilanthropist @wompwomphq @himichii @shoyomeow @miyayane  @graykageyama @bakugou-akaashi

[crazycoke-addict]

Why Scott is a good antagonist

Scott is the main antagonist of total drama revenge of the island and I believe he's up there with alejandro and heather. While Scott does have a fan base of his own, I think there's a debate in the total drama fandom about whether or not Scott should be up there with the likes of Heather, Alejandro and even the ice dancers in Ridonculous race. I believe that he does.

Scott's plan is pretty different to other villains because it involves around loosing. His strategy is to make sure his team loose so the other team has this false sense of confidence he picks them off one by one. Scott isn't the first person to sabotage his team but he's the main villain to do so. Heather hates loosing and any team she is placed in teams they mostly win and Alejandro tends to be frustrated whenever his team loose during world tour. But Scott doesn't want to win because winning will ruined his plan. A lot of fans might this is dumb idea because he's putting a target on his back, but loosing is a key to success.

Loosing is a good thing because the many times you loose, the lessons you learn from it. You see this when Scott plans his next strategy by learning from his previous. This is seen with B's elimination and even Dawn's. In Ice Ice Baby, Scott decides that B has to go since he is making the team win which Scott doesn't want. While his teammates are distracted Scott has the opportunity to sabotage the challenge and putting the blame on B. Scott also convinced the other teammates to vote him off. But he knows he can't do it up until the merge. If he ends up blaming other teammates and he's only one doing so than someone like Sam or even Dawn would take notice. For Dawn, she was getting too close to finding out the truth in backstabber Ahoy. Through the episode, the camper's stuff goes missing and at first Scott decides to put the blame on brick since he's been on both teams. However Dawn takes notice what Scott has been doing by purposefully making him loose and decides to put the stuff that he stole in Dawn's trash bag that she was carrying throughout the episode.

Dawn is a weird and interesting character who just know people's personal life by looking through their auras. There's something that Dawn goes. She literally glides in the picture so her stealing their stuff without them noticing. Scott could use that advantage. While Scott only does the fake immunity statue for the one time, but we see him making another one so if any of the campers especially the ones that are on his team would find an invincibility statue but would questioned if its the real one or a fake one. Scott is the only one knows the difference. That's why he ended up being the one to find the immunity before anyone else did. Another thing I think that Scott is a great antagonist is what happens in grand chef auto.

It appears that Scott can manipulate a person to confirmed a suspicion. Like how Cameron confirmed that Mike has a multiple personality disorder even though Scott didn't know himself. In grand chef auto, Scott used Mike as blackmailed towards him having DID in order not to tell zoey. Messing with someone's mental health is messed up but it's also genius to do so. Throughout the episode, Mike helps Scott until Mike decided he had enough so Scott ended up having someone else to help with the form of Vito. All this happened just for Scott to get immunity and vote Mike off. It's so evil, cold and cruel but that's what a villain is supposed to be.