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#is left with the guilt of everything he's done
icallhimjoey · 1 day
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Not sure if you've done this but it fits the general mood of the fandom lately: I want grovel-y Joe. Knows he really fucked up but he's a guy so he doesn't know how to fix it so he just throws anything at the wall to see what sticks. And honestly we're not sure if we'll forgive him but we're definitely sticking around to see how far he's willing to go.
(yes I am in therapy 🤣)
okay im using this request to fix whatever that bullshit was that i wrote before this - hope you enjoy! Wordcount: 3.8K
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I'll Let The Sun Decide
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Joe realises it in the morning. Feels like the biggest fucking idiot in the world.
Correction: the biggest fucking idiot on the moon.
He watches you walk out of his bedroom after leaving a perfect cup of coffee, exactly how he likes it, on his bedside table and everything about that makes his heart ache.
After the way he behaved last night, he knows he doesn't deserve a sweet gesture from the girl who looks like she only managed to sleep for about two hours.
You look exhausted.
He only catches a glimpse of you, and a few seconds later he can hear the coffee machine go again. You're making a coffee for yourself after making him one, and Joe can't help but groan his face into his pillow.
Fuck.
He didn't reach out for you in the night.
Your one fucking rule.
He vaguely remembers going, "Hmm?" after he raised his head off his pillow in a jolt.
"Just me." You'd whispered, nothing malicious hidden in your voice, because it was after midnight and it wasn't the time to continue whatever you'd started earlier that evening.
He should've reached over then.
He hadn't. Not even a knee to your thigh, or a toe to your foot.
Nothing.
He should've been happy you'd come back to his flat instead of going to your own. You could've so easily decided to avoid him for a bit, but you didn't. You said you'd come back, and then you did, and, fuck.
He hadn't reached out.
He hadn't even read the texts you'd sent. Left you with a bunch of grey ticks.
Well.
He had read them, but only in the notification bar.
He'd seen the messages about you making it to the office safely. Of how Charlotte was there too - you'd do the work together and you'd be done much faster that way. A little later of how you'd just be another hour, and of how you'd let him know when you'd leave.
He wanted you to feel bad about choosing your work over him, so he withheld the coloured ticks and had felt real fucking smug over it. It was sickening how right he'd felt about his actions in the moment. Every petty little thing justified, just because you'd hurt his feelings.
You'd climbed into bed after he had already fallen asleep, and the feeling of movement next to him pulled him from his slumber. And then, instead of reaching over like he should have done, he had sighed all heavily, like he was really fucking annoyed that you'd woken him up as you got comfortable under his covers. He'd rolled over and ignored you. Turned his back and festered in his own anger like a moody teenager because he truly believed you deserved it.
What a fucking loser.
Didn't touch you all night.
The realisation slaps him in the face unexpectedly, and your early-morning kind gesture is what flips the entire script. What a fucking loser of a boyfriend.
You've made the deadline.
Joe sees it when he opens his messages after taking a perfect sip of hot coffee, and it's weird how he feels awful about himself and proud of you at the same time.
He didn't need to let the world burn over such a tiny inconvenience.
Joe hates the moon.
Longs for the sun.
The moon is cold and dark and he's all alone up there, only warmed by the light the sun will bring him.
The sun. Or, the messy-haired girl with tired eyes in soft clothes too big for her body who brought him a hot cup of coffee before she even made one for herself. Either or. Same thing.
Joe stares at your messages in silence, gives you the coloured ticks he should've given you last night, and feels heavy guilt find home in the pit of his stomach.
You finished all the work in time. Probably have done a real good job at it too. Did it at the office, away from Joe's bad temper, and managed to actually focus and forget about how he told you to fuck off when you were already on your way out anyway.
What a dick-move.
Fragile ego syndrome, you'd guessed then.
That dick-move is what had you second-guessing going back over to Joe's for a while. Maybe going back to your own flat was the smarter idea. Avoid the confrontation and just text him the next day, after he'd cooled off a bit.
Maybe he'd actually read those then.
Another dick-move.
Joe could be so annoying sometimes, but it was easy to read him and you knew that just a little consideration of your time would fix whatever this silly issue was. With that in mind, you'd made your way back over to his.
You knew his dick-moves only meant he was going to feel bad about himself come tomorrow morning.
And you were right.
Besides an annoyed sigh and a soft grumble, you didn't get much else from him when you got into bed.
That was fine.
Again, you didn't think it was the right time to continue a fight anyway.
But the morning brought something new.
You woke up before Joe did and it took a few seconds for you to remember. To realise your prediction was right. Joe hasn't reached out in the night. No silent I still love you touch under the covers for you.
And it stings.
Could make you cry if you thought about it long enough.
Joe's stayed on his side of the bed, facing away from you, and you tell yourself that at least you've come back to his flat like you said you would. You finished the work you had to finish, and did the right thing by returning.
But then, you concluded, you also haven't reached out to him at all, and immediately felt bad.
Joe can be so annoying sometimes, but you do still love him, and a warm palm to a shoulder blade could've at least let him know.
It would've made you the bigger person.
Which, you still were. You came back, didn't you? But Joe was being an absolute child and you didn't want to sink down to his level.
You should've reached over. Should've touched him. You have no good excuse for not following the one rule you came up with after your first real argument, and now you feel bad.
Shit.
The coffee is to make up for it. At least a little. To say, I'm sorry I didn't reach out, here's me doing that now.
"Morning," you whispered when you saw him stir and open a squinty, confused eye.
You didn't wait for a reply. Just left the coffee there and walked back to go and make yourself one too.
Joe watched you leave and the moon came crashing down.
He knows what the coffee means.
He's read your messages, can hear you make breakfast in his kitchen and decides he needs to reach out too. With his coffee in hand, he gets up and makes his way over to his living area where he finds you rubbing your fist into an eye through a yawn, with a carton of eggs in the other hand.
"Morning," he croaks, and sees how it's only just starting to get light outside, it's so early still.
It feels a little weird and embarrassing to speak to you right now. To remember how you'd been in this same room just a few hours ago, and he'd told you to fuck off.
Fuck off, he'd said. To his girlfriend. Had meant it with his whole chest too. What a fucking idiot.
You turn your head to give him a small smile that doesn't reach your eyes, and ask, "Do you want some eggs?"
The moon can die.
He doesn't want the moon.
The moon is too far from the sun. He wants you closer and happy and well-rested and for your smile to overtake your whole lovely beautiful face when you see him and he hasn't got the faintest clue where to even start to fix it.
He doesn't know how to turn all the feelings in his chest into words to convey how sorry he feels. Has no idea what to say. Has no idea how you'll react to a verbal apology either.
But you look so soft, shoulders slouched, the scrunched up bit of fabric that held your hair up and out of your face as you slept about to slip out. And, even though he can tell it's not a real smile, you're still giving him a kind face. You're being civil.
You've made him a coffee how he likes it and just offered to make him some eggs and, Jesus, he's just the most awful person ever, isn't he?
The overwhelming need to wrap himself around all of you takes over.
Joe leaves his coffee on the side and steps closer to attach himself to your back. You accept it, and he can feel how you let your head rest against the side of his as he hugs you, arms tight around your waist.
He's glad that you let him.
But he also feels the defeat there.
The, Joe what the fuck, that's waiting to slip out of your mouth. Maybe it's why you're keeping things surface level. No time or energy to get into an actual conversation right now. Just breakfast eggs and perfect coffee.
That's okay.
Joe doesn't know what to say anyway, and he'd love some eggs, actually.
"I'd love some, but," Joe kisses the side of your face, does it quick so he doesn't have to feel you pull away from it, and then gently moves you aside. "Let me."
A first attempt at fixing it.
Joe finishes breakfast whilst you go for the quickest shower of your life. When you turn the water off he asks what time you need to leave from the kitchen. His eyes find your coffee that's going cold, and he thinks it's so stupid that you have to be back at work so soon.
This time he doesn't feel sorry for himself, though. This time he feels sorry for you.
It's a big difference.
You've only just left the office, Joe thinks. And sure, sometimes he makes long hours and feels like he lives on set, but you're in an office.
He knows that's different.
Worse.
You've got to go and present all the things you've finished and he knows you like it just as much as he does. That being: not at all. There's no use in getting angry at you.
He sees that now.
You're just as much at fault for not being able to go out with him last night as he is. That being: not at all.
Joe watches you take a few hurried mouthfuls of egg on toast, and he wants to tell you sorry before you leave.
He doesn't.
Isn't sure how, and feels like a literal child because, Jesus Christ, they're just words.
But you smile at him, even though it's only small. And you let him kiss your cheek on your way out. And when you've left, it's not even eight o'clock, which is too fucking early, and he decides he needs to give you more quiet I love yous that he didn't give you under the covers in the night the way he should've done.
You get flowers delivered to the office that afternoon.
It's a large bunch, beautiful colours, and you can't lie; it absolutely makes you smile. You can tell it's expensive, and you know he's paid extra for the same day delivery, but... he didn't reach for you last night, and you didn't reach for him either, and whenever you think of Joe, that's all that comes to mind.
You'd seen him turn to stone.
So cold and careless.
Had seen in his face how he didn't give a single shit about how inconsiderate he was being.
A bunch of flowers isn't going to magically make that visual go away, but it's nice that he' tried's trying, and you try to hold onto that.
When you leave the office that day, you text Joe that you're headed to your own flat because there's food in your fridge that needs eating before it goes off, and your dishwasher is half filled with dirty dishes that have been in there for about a week already, so you kind of need to go turn it on, and there's probably also a load of laundry you could do, plus a quick pass of your floors with a vacuum, maybe.
Joe doesn't get to read it for a few hours. Busy day on set. When he eventually does, sort of annoyed that you had to wait for his coloured ticks again, he texts back, "Yours?"
And you text back so quickly, it makes his guilt grow.
"don't forget your key, im gonna lie down "
Perfect, Joe thinks. He'll sneak in and maybe get some of your shit sorted whilst you kip on your sofa.
But when he walks in, you're not on the sofa. You're already in bed, and that's sort of heartbreaking, because it's so early, and Joe finds the food that's about to go off uneaten in your fridge still. Finds the dishwasher still half filled, smelling rank, dirty dishes growing mould in there. He also sees the full hamper that needs sorting and washing, and, how had he even had the gall to assume that you could just make time for him at a moment's notice when you hadn't even been able to take care of any of this?
Joe starts the dishwasher.
Sorts your dirty laundry and starts a dark wash.
Cooks the food that's about to go off and places it in plastic tubs to have at another time.
Notices you've not taken the flowers that he had express delivered home and tries not let that affect him, but fails.
You're not sure what it is that wakes you. The beeping of the dishwasher, or the clanging of plates as Joe places the clean ones back into their cupboards. When Joe comes to find you, you're on your side, facing away from the door, but Joe can see you're awake by the light from your phone that silhouettes you.
"You're awake," Joe says, voice surprised, and it makes you turn to look over your shoulder.
"Hey," you say softly, and Joe's eyebrows knit together automatically at how sad you sound.
"Thanks for the flowers," you turn in bed to let Joe kiss you as he bends over to place a small one to your forehead. "They got delivered during my presentation."
"Was it embarrassing?" Joe asks, sitting down next to you, one arm either side of you as he leans over. Kisses you again, but on your mouth this time.
"Very. Vanessa just barged in with them."
"Did you like them?"
"Hmm," you nod and give a little smile. Joe's glad for it, but he feels there's a distance there still. You're keeping your hands to yourself, even though his bare arms are right there.
"I um," Joe starts, and wants to start listing all the things he's done. Wants to tell you how he's been sweet, and kind, like you were with him this morning, and he wants those things to be the silent I love yous he should've given you last night.
But then he changes his mind and says, "Did the, um... did the presentation go okay?"
You nod, because it did go really well, actually. Thank fuck. But Joe doesn't ask any more questions about it, and he seems to hesitate to even speak at all. Seems to want to say something that he's clearly not saying. Afraid to say the wrong thing, maybe. You wonder if there's a sincere I'm sorry hiding in there somewhere.
"You seem tired..." he skirts around the issue, and it's disappointing, but not surprising.
"I am tired."
Then Joe looks at the empty space in your bed for a moment and gets up. Starts undressing. Leaves his clothes in a neat pile on your dresser and goes to brush his teeth.
When Joe looks at himself in the mirror, he frowns.
Fucking idiot.
Look at that coward.
He rests both hands on the sink, hangs into his shoulders, breathes through flared nostrils, and feels like a failure. You must think he is one too.
He didn't reach over last night.
With his toothbrush still in his mouth, he steps back into your bedroom and inhales a deep breath through his nose before he mumbles a barely audible and a very foamy, "I shouldn't have..."
He hears himself, grumbles low in this throat and turns on his heel, spits the toothpaste out and comes back.
Starts again.
"I shouldn't have said those things. Last night. I was being a dick, I shouldn't have done– well, anything, really. I was being mean just to be mean, I'm–"
"Joe," you interrupt, your voice soft.
You didn't reach out either.
"No," Joe argues, moves to sit back down next to you, arms back either side of you, hands pressing into the mattress. "You have nothing to be sorry for, I just," Joe sighs. Frowns. Doesn't know what to say.
What can he say to make you run a hand up one of his forearms?
"I didn't..." he tries once more, but falters again. Drops his head and knows he can't cry because he is not the person he's hurt.
He didn't reach over last night.
"Hey. I didn't either."
You read between the lines, even though your vision goes blurry with tears. You can hear the words Joe isn't saying and can read the thoughts he's not communicating. Joe's face always tells you a million things. You wonder if he's aware how easy he is to read.
You also wonder if he's aware that it's not going to be enough.
Joe swipes a thumb across your temple, close to your eye, and catches a tear that was about to slide into your hair.
He swallows thickly. Tries to swallow down whatever's hurting his throat.
"I don't want to live on the moon..." he then mutters, regretting how he set the world on fire. He wants to live on planet earth, even though it's all grey and black ashes now. He'll plant flowers there. Will feed them water, and will politely ask the sun let them grow.
Will ask you.
You're the sun.
You get to decide.
You don't fully understand what Joe means, because it sounds ridiculous, actors and their theatrics, but you tell him you don't want to live on the moon either and he huffs a laugh at how absurd that sounds coming from your straight face that's pretending it's not actively crying.
You're the sun.
Of course you don't want to live on the moon, silly.
"Your priority–" you start, breath hitching, but Joe is quick to interrupt.
"You. You. Us. I'm... it's us. I promise, it's us..." Joe sighs again, seemingly upset at remembering his own behaviour.
"Saying that is easy, though," you start, finally letting your fingers slowly wrap around one of his arms.
A touch.
It's enough to make Joe's whole face crumble.
He ducks down. Lets his arms find your shoulders to pull you up a little so he can hug you properly, both arms wrapped tightly around your frame, his face hidden into your neck, and you know Joe's only crying because of your fingertips touching his wrist. The smallest things can get him sometimes – so dramatic.
But you continue, "I believe that you believe that your priority is us, but when you're stomping around your kitchen, blaming me for shit I have no controll over, telling me that it's my fault that I–"
"No," Joe mumbles into your skin, and pulls back just enough to press his forehead against yours. "No."
And you give his forehead a slight push with yours and you want to say, yes.
Yes that's what you were doing.
Yes that's what happened.
Yes you got caught up in all of your own feelings and forgot that I have a whole set of my own.
But then Joe whispers, "I'm sorry." and you can't help but go absolutely lax in his hold.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. I love you, I'm sorry." he whispers his apologies against your mouth through heavy breaths because he's doing his best to not cry, but he's failing, because then he feels you shake with a sob, and, fuck that, he'll banish himself to the moon, actually.
He'll live up there no matter how miserable it is, and he'll take whatever sunlight he can get, and he'll be thankful for the rays you'll allow to even reach him at all.
"You didn't t-touch–" you stutter, and immediately feel Joe squeeze you tighter.
"I'm sorry, I love you. I'm so sorry." Joe whispers right into your ear. Keeps repeating it, over and over and over.
Your one rule.
He should've never broken it.
It's good to hear the words, the I'm sorrys tumbling over his lips, and you'll accept them for now. But actions speak louder than words, and you know that there will probably be a time where the way the world treats Joe will make his head grow to twice its size again. He'll do and say similar shit. Won't want to meet you halfway, but will demand that you make the trek all the way over to him, won't care what the ground will look like, and won't care if you're wearing shoes for it or not.
Joe doesn't know it right now, but you can see into the future and know it will happen again.
And when it does, you'll grow a little colder.
Let some of your rays die out.
"Here. Lay back." Joe says after holding you for a while, and when your head finds your pillow again, Joe curls around and uses every body part of his to touch yours under the covers.
Every inch of skin touching yours is a big fat quiet I love you that he'll repeatedly tell you all night. He's not gonna let go.
He knows he's on the moon still. Up there, all alone. Cold. In the dark.
He said he's sorry, but knows it's not enough.
Wants off, but is smart enough to not set foot somewhere he's not allowed yet.
He has said that he's sorry, and now he needs to wait for the sun.
Wait for you.
And he'll touch you under the covers until you're ready.
Whispers the promises into your hair as you fall asleep.
You get to decide.
He'll let the sun decide.
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petew21-blog · 3 days
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No way back
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Richard Madden was now on top of his career. Starring in Game of Thrones and after that in many successful movies as well.
He loved his aching career and his life
Until it was taken from him. By you
You really loved him as an actor. But you fell in love with his body much more. And that's why you attacked him on the street after that play he starred in.
He put up quite a fight. But you had a knife and eventually you succeded in stabbing his shoulder. Stabbing was the crucial step to swap bodies. After that, you were now fighting your old body, that was towering over you and held a knife in your shoulder. Thank god for the police for shooting him and saving you
The ambulance took you to the hospital. He hit some of the big veins, so you were bleeding rapidly. So they had to take care of that. Some doctor stitched you up and told you you were lucky. "I know. Thank you"
You were finally left alone in your room. You went to the mirror in your gown to look at the wound and at your new self.
And there he was Richard staring back at you.
You took of the gown. Revealing the big wound and some scratches on other parts of the body.
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He put up quite a big fight before you switched. If you wouldn't stab him, you'd be the one who was dead now. Not Richard.
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You looked over your new shirtless body. Your hairy torso covering the muscular chest and abs. All yours now to enjoy.
Your nipples hardening at the sight of the beautiful man in front of you. And not the only thing that was hardening.
You are Richard Madden now
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But the blood and scratches reminded you what you have done. That you were now in a different man's body. That you took his life and got him killed. There's no going back anymore. You can't get back to your old life, see any of your friends or your family. Or even your dog
It was all so bittersweet. Getting his body was one thing, but now you felt the guilt of it all overcoming you. You looked at yourself in the mirror and saw the teary eyes looking back. Did you screw this up?
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6 months later
After dealing with the aftermath and going to therapy. You decided to quit acting for a while. You didn't even know how to act, cause Richard's memories did not stay in his body and secondly you probably wouldn't even enjoy it.
You asked for therapy after the attack a decided to pretend to have some sort of amnesia, which became an excuse for everything after that. Especially for not knowing who in Richard's life was who.
But now it didn't matters. You were in Los Angeles, Hollywood Hills. Enjoying the beautiful scenery and the sun shining on your beautiful hairy chest.
With just one bottle of water and a phone in your hand, you arrived to the place and sent the photo
"I'm here" you said out loud
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From a bush, an attractive young man came out
"Holy shit, it's really you. Omg sir I have to say I am the biggest fan."
"I thought you came here to hook up"
"Yeah... right. Sorry. Sure"
You unzipped your jeans and pulled out your big dick to jerk. It was getting hard. You loved freaking out these twinks in your body. Hell, this guy's probably the same age as you were. But you're in Richard's body now, being older than him
He was shocked and just stared at you. Definitely aroused
"Are you gonna stare or take care of it?"
"I... YES! I just thought we could go somewhere private. There is a lot of rattle snakes here you know"
You came close to him. Pushing him on his knees and shoving your hard dick into his mouth
"There is only one snake you gotta be worried about right now"
You left him on the mountain. Covered in cum all over his face. You had an interview to get to. Fuck, your acting career was about to start again.
The twink caught up with you. "Can I call you? I really wanna do this again"
"Already hungry for more? This is my adress. And bring a friend"
The guilt was still deep in your heart. But moments like this definitely made it better
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queenshelby · 3 days
Text
Daughter Dearest (Part Eight)
Pairing: Cillian Murphy (47) x Step! Daughter (21)
Warning: Infidelity, Smut, Dysfunctional Family
Tag List will be updated soon! Please comment and engage!
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After Cillian disappeared, you managed to pull yourself back together and went upstairs to shower off the sweat that still permeated your body, but thinking about what you had just done and experienced with him, the anger inside you flared up again.
How could he have just left you like this after  what you both had just done together?
You expected him to stay, kiss you some more, prolong that intimacy for just a little longer, but instead, he just vanished, and it was hard not to think that he was ashamed of what happened.
Ashamed that he had just slept with his stepdaughter.
The guilt he must have felt though was one of the things that drove you even more towards him. But the shame and the cold apathy he displayed after everything was heartbreaking and frustrating.
You felt used and discarded, as if you were nothing more than a quick release to a deep craving he had and, with that on mind, you quickly finished  washing up before wrapping yourself in your towel.
You rushed out of the bathroom, hoping to avoid seeing Cillian before you could get dressed in the privacy of your bedroom and whilst you had considered to confront him, you quickly shook of that idea after realizing that it would be a waste of both of your time as he seemed to have made up his mind about the whole ordeal already. 
"Fuck," you cursed to yourself before slamming the door to your bedroom shut and leaning against it, closing your eyes and taking long, deep breaths.
Your heart hammered in your chest, and the aching throb from the aftermath between your legs reminded you of what had just transpired.
It made you wonder if that was just a dream - how could something so forbidden, so intense feel so right?
Anger overtook your emotions again, causing you to pick up a box of photographs you took before throwing it across the room. 
You breathed deeply and looked around the bedroom, surveying the damage. The box had shed its contents on the floor, but you didn't care and slumped on to your bed instead, which is when you heard a knock on the door.  It was soft, hesitant but still perceivable. You hesitated for a moment, considering whether to respond or pretend you weren't there. But eventually, curiosity got the better of you and you called out a cautious, "What do you want?" 
The door slowly creaked open, and Cillian stepped into your room. 
"I just wanted to talk ," he said quietly, his eyes downcast. He looked vulnerable, almost like a lost little boy.
You remained silent for a while, looking up at him and feeling a rush of conflicting emotions. You wanted to scream at him, to tell him how hurt you were by his actions. But at the same time, you couldn't deny the deep connection you felt towards him.
"You could have talked to me downstairs instead of running away," you said finally, breaking the silence.
Cillian looked up at you with a pained expression. "I know and I am sorry, but I am just confused," he admitted. He took a hesitant step towards your bed before sitting down on it, by your side.  "I haven't been happy for years, but I...," he trailed off.  "I..." he gasped before finally finding the words. "I am sure you agree that, all things considered, this was a huge mistake Y/N," he said in a low voice. "You are my fucking stepdaughter," Cillian said, struggling with his emotions as he looked at you, lying in your bed.
"Yes, it's wrong Cillian. I agree. But I do not agree that this was a mistake," you  disagreed, looking at him steadily. "I preempted this and I think you did too, so how could you call this a mistake?  We both came into this with our eyes wide open," you whispered, reaching out to touch his hand. "Despite, I don't want to think of my first time with a guy as a mistake," you said, causing Cillian's chin to drop.
"Your first time?"  Cillian repeated, his voice barely above a whisper. His hand moved to cover yours, entwining his fingers in yours as he looked at you with confusion on his face. "Why didn't you tell me?"  Cillian asked softly, squeezing your hand gently.
"I don't know," you replied, your gaze dropping to your lap. "I guess I didn't want to ruin the heat of the moment. Despite, it's not that I am a virgin. I just never had sex with a guy. Only girls," you mumbled, feeling vulnerable and exposed under his gaze.  You looked at Cillian, who was still holding your hand and could tell that he was slightly taken aback.
"I shouldn't have left you like I did Y/N. I am sorry ," Cillian said, trying to make amends. "I just, fuck..., I wanted you so much and it scared me," Cillian confided in you.
His gaze drifted to the ground momentarily before meeting yours again. You could tell that he was struggling with his guilt, and that he truly did care for you.
"I know and I feel the same, but we did what we did, and we can't change it now," you whispered back. "So lets please agree that this wasn't just a stupid mistake, but rather something we chose to do, realising that there would be consequences." 
Cillian nodded, his eyes still focused intently on yours. "Alright, but what now?" he asked. "How do we move forward from this?"  Cillian asked, his voice barely above a whisper as he searched your eyes for an answer. "Because we both know that this cannot happen ever again," he told you and you took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"I don't know," you admitted, sighing deeply until Cillian spoke up again. "What do you think?" you asked.
"Well, maybe it's best if we pretend that this didn't happen and that we did not cross that line," he told you reluctantly, knowing that this would be for the best 
You nodded, but you looked unsure. "Is that really what you want?" you asked gently.
"I think it would be for the best Y/N ," he replied silently and gravely. His face had tightened, making his sharp features even more prominent and, for a moment, you saw something akin to pain flicker through his eyes before he averted his gaze.
You nodded again, but you couldn't help but feel that this wasn't the end of the story. That there was more to come, and that the tension between you was far from resolved.
"Okay, let's do that," you thus told him. "Come tomorrow we will never speak of it again," you added and, for a short moment, there was an awkward silence that hung in the air between you two as you both realised what you had done.
"Alright, from tomorrow then, this never happened," he whispered before caressing your face gently with his fingertips. "Which means we still have tonight though, right?" he whispered,  his lips brushing against yours as he spoke, sending shivers down your spine.
You nodded, unable to find words in response. All you wanted to do in this moment was kiss him, touch him, get lost in his intoxicating presence once more.
"Then, let's make the most of it," he said, his voice thick with desire.
He pulled you closer, his lips crashing onto yours in a fiery kiss, his tongue demanding entry into your mouth. Your hands instinctively went to his hair, pulling him closer as you deepened the kiss.
Your tongues danced together, and the kiss quickly became frenzied and hungry.
Cillian's hands roamed down your body, cupping your breasts over your towel before sliding under it to feel your bare skin. You moaned as his fingers found your nipples, already hard and sensitive to his touch.
"Just so we are clear, this still counts as a one time thing, correct?" you whispered as you broke the kiss, looking him in the eye as you spoke.
He nodded and leaned down to kiss you again, the heat and passion between you igniting as if it had never been extinguished.
"I am sorry that I left you there, in the living room, by yourself before," he said again as he pulled back from the kiss.
"Well, you better make it up to me then," you told him, before pulling him close to you once again.
Cillian made a strangled noise in the back of his throat before flipping you onto your back, his body pressing down on top of yours.
He caught your lips in a searing kiss, his tongue plunging deep into your mouth. Your body ignited under him, lust surging through you.
"I will ," he promised roughly, his teeth scraping down your jawline while his hands worked their way down your stomach.
You gasped as his fingers slid between your legs, finding your throbbing clit and rubbing it in circles. She arched her back, giving him easier access as your body heated, needing more.
Cillian slipped a finger inside of you, satisfying a primal hunger that was still burning deep within him. You moaned, your arms wrapping around his neck.
Your body tensed as he found your g-spot and ground his finger against it expertly.
You writhed under him, feeling his heavy erection press against your leg.
"Cillian," you moaned, your body begging for the release it craved. "Please, I need you inside of me," you whispered in his ear before biting down on the lobe, causing him to groan with pleasure.
He didn't need any more convincing. Cillian pulled off his t-shirt and boxer shorts while you unwrapped yourself, the white towel landing somewhere on the floor . The sight of your naked body underneath the dim light left him speechless. His eyes traveled over your soft, heart-shaped curves while your eyes investigated his arousal.
"Fuck, Y/N," Cillian muttered under his breath. "You're so goddamn beautiful."
"Uh-huh ," you managed to say, barely able to string a coherent thought together as Cillian's hands roamed over your body.
He leaned down and took one of your nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. You moaned, your back arching off the bed.
Cillian took that as a sign to continue, his teeth scraping over your sensitive nipple while his hand wandered down your body.
His fingers found your clit again, rubbing circles over it as his mouth traveled to your other nipple."Please fuck me already ," you whimpered, the anticipation building up inside of you.
Cillian didn't need to be told twice. He spread your legs wide open and positioned himself between them, his tip brushing against your slick entrance. He teased you for a few seconds before pushing into you gently, causing you to cry out in pleasure.
"Are you okay?" he asked as he pulled out of you slowly. "You are not too sore?" Cillian asked in a hoarse whisper, as he slowly moved back inside of you, causing you to gasp with pleasure.
You shook your head as a response, wrapping your legs around his waist and urging him to move deeper. Your heels dug into his back, pulling him closer as your slick walls tightened around his shaft. Cillian groaned, the sound reverberating through your room and igniting your body into a blaze of passion.
"Why do you feel so fucking good?" Cillian groaned as he bottomed out inside of you , planting himself deep within your warm embrace before you grasped on to him and demanded to go on top, to ride him.
You were wetter than ever, your pussy eagerly clutching at his cock as you rode him like some sort of ravenous demon. He knew you needed it as much as he did and you forgot all about how sore you actually were from the constant penetration. 
Cillian was lost in you, his mind a haze of pleasure as you ground your hips against him, every glide of your pussy against his pelvis pushing him closer to the edge.
Cillian felt his balls tighten as a tingling sensation began to build at the base of his spine, and as you squeezed him with your legs, he knew he wouldn't last much longer.
"Don't stop, Y/N - fuck, I'm so close," he managed to say between his labored breaths.
You answered with a deep, desperate moan, your eyes squeezed shut as the pleasure overtook you. You could feel your body shaking and, with each passing second, the fire between your thighs began to burn brighter than ever."Oh god, please, yes. I want to feel you cum inside me again," you moaned as you moved up and down on him, feeling him grow impossibly bigger inside you.
He grabbed your hips and thrust upwards as you moved down, meeting your movements with his own. The room echoed with the sound of your skin slapping against his, your gasps, and moans of pleasure filling the air.
With each thrust, Cillian felt like he was losing himself more and more, letting the pleasure consume him until he couldn't think straight anymore.
Sweat dripped from his forehead, and his arms felt like jelly beneath him as he held on to you tighter, wanting to feel every inch of you.
"Fuck, Y/N," Cillian moaned as your walls tightened around him, the pleasure overwhelming you both. "I'm so close."
You nodded, unable to speak anymore as you threw your head back, letting out a guttural cry of pure bliss.
You had never felt anything like this before, a wave of pleasure that washed over you so completely and overwhelmingly, you could barely register the shock of it all as you orgasmed. 
Your hips were still pumping back and forth against him, milking Cillian for every last drop again, and he could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge, his seed coursing through his veins.
"I-I'm cumming," he gasped, his fingernails digging into your ass cheeks as you felt him swell, then pulse inside of you, sending wave after wave of pleasure crashing over you.
"Oh god, Cillian!" you cried out, your own orgasm still ripping through your body as he spurted again and again into your welcoming heat. You dug your fingers into his shoulders, feeling him shudder beneath you as you rode out the incredible spasms that accompanied your climax.
Cillian groaned as he erupted deep within you, feeling your walls tighten around him as you moaned incoherently in ecstasy. Your legs were trembling uncontrollably now, exhaustion kicking in as you slowed your movements and eventually came down from your pleasure-induced haze.
The only sound that could be heard in the room was the sound of labored breathing - yours and Cillian's.
You collapsed on top of him, feeling his heart beat rapidly beneath your breasts, his spent manhood still buried deep inside of you.
Your bodies were both slick with sweat, your breaths heavy and unsteady. A feeling of exhaustion, coupled with a deep sense of satisfaction washed over you like a wave, leaving you feeling completely spent.
Cillian wrapped his arms tightly around you, holding you close to him as he pressed soft kisses against the side of your neck. You shivered, feeling a fresh surge of desire flow through you at the sensation, your pussy clenching around his still semi-hard shaft.
"Mmmhh...you still feel so good inside of me, Cillian," you murmured softly, nuzzling your face into his neck and breathing in his scent. His arm tightened around you in response, and you sighed with contentment.
The heat between your thighs slowly dissipated, leaving your body feeling warm and sated.
Your mind was still in a hazy daze, but as the sweat on your skin dried and the tension in your muscles began to ease, you knew that you both needed to get some sleep.
Eventually, Cillian broke the silence.
"I don't think I had sex that good in...I don't know...ever," Cillian murmured, his voice thick with pleasure and exhaustion.
"Oh please, as if,"  you murmured back, your own voice tinged with amusement as you lifted yourself of him. "You would have slept with many women in your days. Models, actresses , women you met on set, I am sure you had a wide selection to pick from," you replied nonchalantly, a small smile playing on your lips as you collapsed next to him. 
"Yes I have had my fair share of sexual partners in the past, before I, you know...," he began to say and you interrupted him.
"Before you met my mother ," you acknowledged with a smile playing on your lips, causing Cillian to nod, which is when you asked him a question that had been playing on your mind for a while.
"Did you ever cheat on her before?"  you asked him, your voice barely above a whisper.
Cillian looked at you for a moment, considering his answer carefully. "No," he said finally, "I never did. Not once. I got close, but I never went through with it because, at least until now, I respected her enough not to," he explained and you nodded understandingly, feeling a surge of gratitude towards Cillian for being honest with you. 
"Do you love her?"  you asked, unsure if you wanted to hear his reply.
Cillian's gaze softened as he looked at you, taking a moment before he answered. "No," he admitted quietly. "But I love Sadie and I love what we achieved together," he  went on, rubbing his hand over his face with tired resignation. 
"Is Sadie the reason why you married her ?" you questioned, allowing the conversation to go where no one had ever dared before.
"Pretty much," he replied, his tone softening as he gazed at you fondly, "I got married because of convenience after your mother told me that she was pregnant. It was a decision I made, thinking it would make me happy because I never really fell in love with anyone, but I wanted a family, you know," he said sadly.
You nodded, understanding what he meant. It wasn't uncommon for people to marry for reasons other than love, and Cillian had been honest about it. It didn't excuse the fact that he had been unfaithful, but at least it gave you some insight into why he made that choice.
"I am sorry," you eventually  whispered, reaching out to take his hand in yours.
He looked at you with a mix of emotions swirling in his eyes - sadness, guilt, and something else that you couldn't quite put your finger on.
"Don't be," he whispered back, squeezing your hand gently and you didn't know what to say after that, and the silence stretched on between you two as you both tried to process what had just happened.
"So what about you?" Cillian eventually asked after contemplating his question. "Why did you not have any other guy before me?" Cillian asked, tracing the outline of your hand with his fingers. "Because you are stunning and smart,..." he trailed off and you sighed, turning to face him.
" I've had girlfriends, and I fooled around with guys before," you explained. "But I don't think I was ever really attracted to guys in that way until recently," you confessed. "You are just different from the guys I have met," you told him softly, reaching up to stroke the stubbly jawline of his ruggedly handsome face. 
Cillian leaned in and captured your lips in another deep, passionate kiss. This time it was slow, lingering, and filled with tender emotion. You could hear your hearts beating in time with each other, and it felt like you were lost in a dream.
The weight of your decisions was incredibly heavy, yet all you could feel in this moment was a powerful connection between you and Cillian.
You kissed like this for a while  , with your hands in each other's hair and bodies pressed close, as if you couldn't get enough of one another. It was like a magnetic force was pulling you together, and you were both happy to give in.
Eventually, the kiss slowed, and both of you broke away breathlessly. The room filled with post-coital silence, the tension now finally dissipated.
"Well, it's getting late, we should get some sleep," you whispered, still wrapped in the warmth from each other's bodies.
"Yeah, I suppose so," Cillian replied, trailing a finger lightly along your shoulder.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" you asked softly, looking up at him through your eyelashes and Cillian hesitated for a moment before nodding.
"Alright," he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper as he pulled you close and wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly as if he never wanted to let go. You rested your head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.
It was steady, rhythmic, and oddly soothing. You closed your eyes and felt yourself drifting off to sleep, wrapped in the warmth and safety of his embrace.
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quinngefail · 16 hours
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Tbh I was kinda just into the sketch look on these so :) maybe I'll fully finish this one or that one at some point, but. That's for later me lmao
So uh!! Was workin' from a request from @adamaus, for some comfort after waking from a nightmare..... Had a few ideas, to say the least-
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Oh and I'm very open to more requests!! Can be vague or specific, or anything between :]
Some commentary + scrapped piece below the cut:
Okay so :) going through the pieces, in numerical order, from left to right:
1: Not the first sobbing session and absolutely not the last B') He's just a little bit turbo fucked up from that whole Jim Saw thing. JUST A LITTLE BIT 🤏
2: This was one of the first to come to mind for this!! Them just going out to the living room and putting a movie on, something I imagine they do pretty frequently to decompress and distract from things... And then one (or both) seems to always inevitably fall back asleep on the couch lol, which is obviously depicted here-
Then you got Lawrence looking at him. Just worrying
(Ft. His nightly guilt session 😋)
3: Okay I had to do at least one that had some humor in it lmao... Was imagining Lawrence softly speaking against Adam's head with these gentle affirmations. But not fully realizing that he may or may not be squeezing Adam just a little too tight there HSKGK
Lawrence Voice: I love you so much and I'm not going anywhere and I'm so sorry for everything I've done and I only ever want the best for you. I'm so sorry again for everything I've done and it was all my fault and I understand if you hate me. I'd hate me too if I were you
Impact font: ADAM IS DYING
4: NOT TOO MUCH TO SAY ON THIS ONE... Lawrence also getting his comfort is just very important to me orz
5: Okay this one and the movie one are defo my favorites here...... Just imagining Adam being this cute little bitch getting the blanket and making some tea and being all >8^} about it-
Das love, babey !!
6: Nothing much to say on this one either... They are just comfy cozy and Sad lol
Then uh, scrapped piece- just didn't really love this one, but. Posting it regardless for y'all 😤
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That is all, thank you for viewing and reading !!! 🫶
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this isnt a poll submission thingie i just needed to make sure you (the mod of this blog) knew about the only good reylo fic https://archiveofourown.org/works/5457191
okay that made me snort
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dirtytransmasc · 8 months
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thinking about how Spider was neteyam's big brother. losing my mind. ripping out my hair.
was 'teyam scared of storms or the dark? did he confide these "childish" fears to his big brother? did he get shy with all the attention he got in the village? did he hold Spi's hand when he got nervous?
did Spi have habits with 'teyam like 'teyam had with lo'ak? did Spi mess with his hair or reach for his shoulder or cuff his neck?
did Spi ever worry for 'teyam after he "stepped up" and became the Big Brother when the humans returned? did he worry something would happen to him? did he want to protect him despite being a human? was he proud? did his pride outweigh his fear?
did he think about 'teyam after he was taken? did he wonder where he was and if he was safe?
what was Spi thinking when he saw the bullet hole in his baby brother's back? did he freeze when he saw the blood, when he realized he failed to protect him?
what was 'teyam thinking? when he looked to Spi, did he want him to be the big brother again, did he want to stop being brave and let Spi do it? did he want to say something?
I have so many questions. I don't think my heart could take the answers.
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dulltoned · 9 months
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I’m not sure where this head-canon originated, but I heard about the idea of the song Branch was singing when Grandma was killed was him singing to his brothers, so they’d come back,,,, and that just kills me. Especially when you listen to the lyrics:
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
I know the whole Brozone thing 99% probs wasn’t planned during the first movie but like???? Those lyrics fit so well to a kid desperately singing for his brothers to come back and make amends? Can someone please hug Baby Branch???? That’s literally so sad.
I'm a really big fan of the headcanons about Branch practicing because he thinks his brothers will come back. It's just one of those general headcanons that started popping into a lot of people's heads since it was such a natural conclusion to come to. We saw Branch immediately assume that the show's failure was his fault and the only person who tried to assure him that it wasn't was Floyd but even Floyd left in the end. It would only make sense for this small trolling who thought that he was responsible for his brothers leaving-- because he wasn't a good enough dancer, a good enough singer-- to desperately try to prove that he could be better if it meant that they'd come back. For that to have led to his Grandmother's death? That's just another layer of trauma and heartbreak to add to Branch's already terrorized character.
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penisbilt · 4 months
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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dramarants · 1 year
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don’t even look at me if you wouldn’t consider sealing yourself in an ice coffin with me to stay by my side should I suffer an untimely death 😩
#till the end of the moon#tteotm#ranting#luo yunxi you fucking GOD - the way he speaks to and holds her corpse in both scenes. denial. desperation. fear. disbelief. the trembling.#his face walking up to her coffin and subsequent rage and protectiveness with qingyu over both her and their relationship#no matter how many times she said her purpose was to kill him he still believes they loved each other and refuses anything else#the bracelet sequence the face nuzzle the mirthful laughter#he can’t bear to lose her and he has no idea where to direct his overwhelming pain and sadness despite their conflicts#after all what’s grief but all the love still left to give. he has lost ppl before but not like this#there’s prolly a fair amount of guilt and self hatred underlying everything too#all he's done these last eps is try to hold on to her in every way - with every shred of his being - but none of it worked#‘just say one word please’ ‘you’re really hateful’ AAHHHH#his injured hands shaking her as if things are normal. later tucking her hand in gently as if not to wake her despite the truth.#he's lost all sense of self and purpose. his grasp on reality is hanging by a thin fucking thread#he will gladly live in his delusion & try to stay by her side. even in death. even when she didn't want it.#he can't go on w/o her anymore - doesn't know how. she has fundamentally changed him.#(so much that he even fights the devil god voice in her defense 🙏)#it’s scenes like this that bludgeon you with humanity amidst all the unreal fantastical elements and bring you back to these shows#omg I’m remembering his fixation on her not looking at him with ttml before - boy was already going insane w/o her when she was still there#healthy attachment and coping? ttj doesn't know her 😌#like idk if he fucks her corpse in the novel but props to lyx I’d fucking believe it#and once again nian baiyu is not paid nearly enough for any of this
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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You don't understand how unhinged I feel trying to construct an ending for Bleach that I personally would enjoy while knowing Bleach does not deserve my time and also not remembering enough to actually make anything coherent. And yet here I am.
#god. no one gives a fuck abt bleaching. i am screaming into the void. y cant i put this energy into being productive#i just want there to be themes and a satisfying ending. and ending that is sad and yet happy#i just think. for me. ichigo kurosaki died on the night rukia pierced him with her zanpakto. oh fuck i cant spell. fucking strap in#i kno he didnt technically die according to the rules of the universe but i think as soon as ichigos soul left his body. that body became#a corpse. so when he goes back into it its not suitible to live in anymore and he only starts to feel that with the fullbring arc#i think when rukia jumpstarted his powers she lit the fuse of a bomb and becoming a visor allowed him to chanel his resentment#bc he does resent. ichigo is an emotional person. he felt emense guilt when his mothet died bc he felt he couldnt protect her bc he was#being raised to protect. the boy has a complex and its kinda fuckrd up and its 1000% isshins fault. so when thr opportunity comes for#ichigo to sacrifice himself for his family he does and he literally and metaphorically dies. his life from that point on is overtaken by#death. so what do we do with ichigo after everything is said and done bc he cant go back to being human he cant be a living corpse. he has#to go to the soul society. bc i like to imagine everything hes done to his soul. his twisted cosmically weird special boy soul. hes like a#bomb. its unstable and they need to teach him to control it so he doesnt tear a hole in reality and let thr hollows pour in. so its safer#if that happens in thr soul society. and rukia lil miss ice princess can teach him to do that. i would also make it weird with god stuff but#i never read the blood war stuff so i dont kno enough abt the gods. also i would make rukia more at odds with everyone who was gonna let her#fucking die and who overlooked her bc she should b held with more reguard for her fighting. but misogyny 😒 so then what do we do with#ichigo in thr soul society? i cant stand the idea of him becoming part of the institution. i cant. i think he should be rogue. rebell. idk#train to be strong and battle agaisnt the 13 court guard squad who r clearly going to try to control him as he tries to control himself.#send my boy to therapy so he can control his reatsu? is the the word? idk. maybe he should go to that dead dog district and look for kids#with spiritual pressure. he needs to feel useful. maybe id just give him weird god powers. i am an ichigo special boy apologist#thats as far forward as i can think. ichigo has to b dead. has to learn to control his power before he can go fight. rukia can teach him#he rebells against the institution. encourages rukia to go apeshit bc fuck everyone. and then idk. he keeps trying to save ppl forever#or he dies and destroys the universe. a big ball of resentment and bad feels and secrets upon secrets upon secrets. god y am i thinking#abt this so much. ive got bullshit to deal with. anyway. idk i just like ichigo a lot and i think thr ending to bleach is th worst forever#bleach ramblings
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ziggysgender · 2 years
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personally i think the quantum leap finale is subjective because of the entire premise of the show
#like yes. the canon finale we got there’s a lot to say. so much to say. so much that’s already been said#knowing that it was literally rushed and thrown together but still finding it great is very cool#there’s also the alternative ending that they filmed. which is a thing of its own#al being with beth. after sam sacrificed everything for him to be with her. and he still couldn’t be happy without him#we could’ve had al leaping with sam. to quote dean stockwell “like a married couple”#then there’s the fan made endings. if sam ever did make it back home. and had to be faced with a hell of his own making#he can never really go back etc etc#i think the ending we got was good in its own way. but could’ve been improved in some small ways#yes the inherent tragedy of it all is oh so great and wonderful and whatnot. but#idk. quantum leap is such a deep show. with a lot of lore and a lot of layers#al died and the last time he ever saw sam was while he was having a breakdown in front of some strange mystery bar without a leapee waiting#he died trying to find him again. he left sam there. in tears. head in his hands#and sam refused to go home. he could never go home. he couldn’t never be done#he just wanted al to be happy. but al couldn’t be happy without sam. and it just keeps looping like a paradox#but i think if he did go home. the guilt of never really being done would eat him alive#add another layer of tragedy and guilt#idk! i think it’s fun to play around with theories and ideas#and there’s no right answer. i’m kinda sick of an implied “right answer”#anyways. ​head is always spinning ql thoughts#ql#quantum leap
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bravevolunteer · 1 year
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it's been long enough that i can say this again, i firmly believe there was NOTHING holding michael there when he got scooped
#discussion of suicide in tags //#no restraints. no force. nothing.#besides ennard outside who.. obviously wouldn't have let him escape had he TRIED to run#doesn't matter though bc he Did Not Move At All#i bring this up mostly bc the version in ruin DOES have that restraint but... no!#the end of sl was fully a suicide attempt on michael's part and it makes me so UPSET#first of all i think going back to his hometown and old place and the warehouse REALLY fucks with him .. it just unearths so much trauma#that he's been trying to shove away and triggers him into an even worse mindset than usual#that message from william .. hoooo boy it fucks with his head (and the fact that he FOLLOWS it is a whole other thing that makes me gnaw on#concrete but i digress)#yes he tried to get out yes he told himself he wanted to be done with all of it but he never TRULY unpacked anything#he's just been living with this huge weight that he never tries to heal from or shoulder with someone else bc he either never lets himself#try for the chance or sabotages everything before he can#an again it comes back to the sheer amount of GUILT he carries with him..#he knows what his father has done he knows liz or whatever is left of her is DOWN THERE he knows she wants to escape#and he thinks she truly deserves so much more of a chance at the life she was robbed of than he ever did...#he is just so exhausted and has struggled with suicidal ideation for A Long Time that he realizes what they are doing and just... resigns#himself to it... there is still that innate fear as it happens but he was Ready to die#aaand then he gets to live way longer with nothing left besides one goal that just will not rest... excruciating!#it's one thing to discuss his exhaustion with Living when he's. a literal corpse. but the fact that This is a thing makes it even more :((#suicide tw#suicidal ideation tw#suicide attempt tw
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sttoru · 8 months
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·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. thinking about true form!sukuna having a huge size kink (+ corruption kink).
word count. 2.6k
note. super self-indulgent. cant rlly blame me for creating this. also do you see those big ass hands in the header i used? yeah.. says enough (this sucks ass)
tags. dom heian era!sukuna x concubine!female reader. smut. porn with plot. size kink / size difference (reader gets referred to as ‘short’ & ‘small’). p in v -> unprotected. degradation. corruption kink (reader gets referred to as ‘naive’, 'shy' & innocent’-looking). tummy bulging. loss of virginity mention. hymen breaking mention. cervix fucking, ouch. lots of teasing. tiny bit of choking. tiny mention of blood tasting ? idk. hint at anal / double penetration. dirty talk. sukuna has two of everything btw mehehe. reader get called ‘woman, brat, slut, little'.
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sukuna is intrigued by you. he’s always been, since the moment he’s laid his eyes upon you. your loyalty and devotion to him are two aspects that the king of curses likes most about you. .
. . after your innocence.
it nearly irked him. every time he saw you hanging around the estate without a single care in the world. sukuna would attempt to intimidate you with serious threats. he’d loom over your short stature and look down at you with a malicious glint in his eyes. though, none of it seemed to work.
you'd only bow your head at him and apologise if you’ve caused him any possible inconveniences. it annoyed the sorcerer. you weren’t trembling in fear like all the others would — it was like there was nothing going on in that head of yours. especially when you smile at him. which no one actually dares to do.
sukuna could crush you. with no effort. one big hand would be enough to pick your entire body up, lift you in the air and throw you around like a ragdoll. you don’t seem to fear the possibility of that happening, even when being faced with a pissed off sukuna.
it’s truly intriguing and amusing. that’s why sukuna kept you around every day — as a form of entertainment, he called it. one thing led to the other and you eventually ended up as one of his concubines. the king of curses himself decided to grant you that promotion.
why? because not only does your fragile body, reserved and polite personality and innocence secretly fascinate him — it also makes him crave you. crave to shatter that naivety of yours. to take that small body of yours and make it feel what it means to be overpowered by a man twice your size.
sukuna does not regret his decision to make you his concubine. the first night you spent together was one of the best nights he had ever had. in all his many years of living. not a single woman had ever succeeded in blowing his mind when it came to sex.
it was usually boring and repetitive for the sorcerer. he felt nothing for those women he’s had in bed before — it was solely for the fact of satisfying himself. though, that changed on the day you had given him your virginity.
he remembers every detail; from your little noises of both pain and pleasure, your tight and untouched pussy that bled faintly when the fat tip of his lower cock pushed through, your nails that dug into his arms and back, your thighs that he held to your chest, his large hands that could easily wrap around the fat of them, your aching cunt that was left spasming around air as it tried to keep his sticky cum stored in place.
sukuna didn’t think your tears would affect him as much. when he took your virginity and you whimpered in pain — he did feel a twinge of guilt. it was strange; he hadn’t felt that emotion before. he had stopped and wiped your tears away. roughly whispered some words of encouragement too.
he had never done so before. never. he had never told anyone how ‘good’ they were for him. how he’d be ‘careful’ to not make it hurt any more. the king of curses recalls vividly how slow he started with you. slow sex. instead of rough like he’s used to.
sukuna wasn’t chasing after his own pleasure in that moment like he’d usually have. his main priority was to make sure the girl below him was comfortable enough to continue. you’re strange. the things you make him do, say and feel are strange. and yet. . .
it was an amazing night. the best. however sukuna was left behind with an insatiable hunger for you. more, more, more. he can’t grasp it yet; why he longs for you. for those feelings he’s suddenly capable of experiencing during intimate moments.
it’s why he calls for you every night. no other concubine was needed after you were made one. the king of curses couldn’t care less about those other women. they are boring to him.
unlike you. the one he’s sure that he won’t ever get bored of.
“you can take me so well now,” sukuna breathes out. one of his cocks was inches deep inside you, bulbous tip painfully hitting your cervix. over the past few weeks, your body had learnt to adjust to him, your pussy molded to fit the shape of his dick.
sukuna looks down at you and his cocks twitch with the urge to release already. his heavy balls clenching. your fucked out state is adorable. you seemed so.. vulnerable underneath the big man, “what a fragile little thing.”
it almost sounded condescending. degrading. especially with sukuna’s lips being curled up into a mean grin, his sharp canines showing. there was a puddle of your cum forming underneath your hips — staining the sheets that the poor servants have to clean by tomorrow morning.
“p-please, fngh, ‘s too big,” you sputter out. no matter how many times you took sukuna in, your smaller body couldn’t quite fully accommodate to the girth of him. every time he hits your deepest parts, you let out a painful whimper.
sukuna kisses his teeth, though slows his thrusts a bit. the wet sounds of his cum and yours getting pushed in and out of your cunt with each move was too addicting. what sukuna loves most is the view of the skin of your lower abdomen swelling and stretching each time he pushes forward.
“i thought you said you’d take both of my cocks today, yet it seems like you can’t even handle one,” the king of curses sighs whilst belittling you. one set of hands is holding you down by your hips, the other set is fondling your stiff nipples and circling your sensitive clit, “what a pity. a real pity.”
you almost choke on your spit as all your sensitive spots were being fondled. sukuna’s thick fingers leave no place untouched as he increases the tempo again—his cock plunging in and out of your stretched hole. the upper one was twitching, rubbing against your clit and lower abdomen.
sukuna harshly grabs your jaw and makes you look up at him after he hears you apologise for making empty promises. he seems satisfied with you staying so polite. even when he’s practically rearranging your guts. the way you talk through your soft sobs and cries is endearing. makes him grin wickedly.
“i don’t want to break my favourite little concubine yet, you see,” sukuna continues. he lets out a grunt of pleasure when your pussy clenches around his thick cock. no matter how many times he fucks you dumb, you still remain as tight as the first time.
he takes in a deep breath. he’s trying his best not to pound you into the mattress. he’d fold you in half and probably break you like the fragile thing you are. he could snap you like a twig if he wasn’t careful, “. . .but you’re making it very difficult for me.”
you respond by apologising again. oh, how cute it was to see you babble and make up excuses. sukuna grits his teeth, jaw clenching as he resists the urge to go harder on you. you’re already squirming and moaning loudly just because he’s fucking you hard and deep—bruising your cervix and forcing your walls to open up to him.
“‘m sorry, wanna take both.” you hiccup and sniffle. tears ran down your cheeks from overstimulation. it felt so good yet so painful to be taken by the person you admire most. you didn’t want to displease him, so you uttered those hopeless yet needy sentences again.
sukuna stops his movements when you weakly ask him to use both of his cocks on you. he scoffs, not knowing where you gained the confidence from. he pulls out of your dripping cunt, leaving a trail of cum connecting both your genitalia.
“‘wanna take both,’ she says,” sukuna mocks you under his breath. it’s getting worse; he’s nearing the point of no return. especially with your desperate whines that were like music to his ears, “you’ll break, woman.”
two of his hands move to stroke along his lengths, smearing the mixture of body fluids all over them. his eyes glare down at your small form—already fucked out, yet aching to continue. needing the full experience for once.
you always turn from a shy girl to a complete slut whenever he has you in bed. sukuna loves it.
“i want to try at the very least,” you mutter. it’s true that you’re exhausted. you’re catching your breath now that you got the chance, tired eyes glancing up at sukuna’s enormous stature between your legs, his defined muscles and the tattoos on them glistening under the faint light of the oil lamp.
it got your pussy throbbing and clamping down around air. you felt a bit light headed and your head lolls back against the pillow, eyes glazed over as you try to seem determined. but your body was tired.
“yeah? how. . . cute,” sukuna grins. he knows you can’t. not today at least. he doesn’t mind if you aren’t capable of taking him fully since you’ve already pleased him well enough for now. though, he still can’t help but tease you—make it seem like he’s going to give you what you want, “all right. don’t say i didn’t warn you.”
your eyes widen and your fingers curl around the silky bedsheets beneath you in anticipation. your heart is pounding in your chest as you watch sukuna pump his two cocks a bit faster, squeezing the base a bit, leaking some pre.
it’s all just for show.
“i’m not stopping. even if you scream.” the king of curses warns you with a dangerous glint in his eyes. you gulp at the terrifying aura sukuna was emitting. one of his tips teases your entrance whilst the other probes and circles around your anus.
he threatens you again, testing if you’ll back down, “last chance. i’m not pulling out once i’m in, do y’hear me?”
you keep being stubborn until the very last second. sukuna’s deep voice that shook you to your core was not enough to make you change your mind. you were so desperate to fulfill his every need and make sure that he was satisfied. it made you the perfect woman in his eyes.
the king of curses is completely amused. he decides to take it up a notch. he pushes his lower cock against the tight ring of muscles, pressing and nearly allowing the tip to move in. the sudden increase in pressure is torturous. you surely wouldn’t be able to withstand the entire thing.
“w-wait!” you squeal in surprise and pain. the sting you felt made you snap back into reality. it’s when you realised that maybe you needed more time and experience to take both of sukuna’s dicks. you squirm your hips away, “can’t. i can’t.. hurts too much.”
sukuna nearly rolls his eyes once you finally give in. he shakes his head with a sigh, feigning disapproval and annoyance. he pulls his entire body away from yours—a ominous shadow casted over his eyes. it makes you think that he’s pissed off at you; for being unable to please him.
you panic a little. even if you are sure sukuna wouldn’t ever hurt you. you know he favours you over the other concubines. you don’t want to lose that position.
“i’m sorry.” you apologise before the sorcerer could say anything. he lets out a sharp breath, rough hands back on your body, kneading your flesh gently yet firmly. his eyes take in the view of you trembling.
it’s unreal. you are half his size—completely vulnerable underneath him. he’d normally call people like you weak and useless. wouldn’t feel a thing for them. but your naked body below his is a sight he wishes to see every night.
it turns sukuna on so much. the fact that you are helpless and don’t complain when you’re struggling to take one of his cocks gets him going each time.
“tsk. what’d i tell you?” sukuna grumbles. he slaps his lower cock firmly against your clit. your body responds by closing your thighs together, though the king of curses pries them apart again, “stop overestimating yourself, brat.”
he isn’t actually mad. it was expected—of course you couldn’t take both at once. he didn’t even prep your other hole enough. plus you are clearly still exhausted from the previous rounds. sukuna just likes to. . . test and take advantage of your devotion to him. your obedience and desires to please him.
it’s fascinating to see you squirm and apologise in that whiny voice of yours. it makes him grin from ear to ear. and it keeps things fun.
before you could mutter excuses again, sukuna stops you by leaning in. just when you thought you’d finally get to kiss him, he goes to bite down on your bottom lip. a moan slips out of your mouth which only spurs him on to bite down harder.
you could feel the devilish smirk on sukuna against your lip. his wet tongue cleans up the tiny drop of blood that escaped the wound. he lets out a low hum in approval at the taste. delicious as always.
“now, how should i punish my little concubine for being unable to keep her word?” sukuna whispers in a serious tone. it sends shivers down your spine, his hot breath traveling from your jaw to your right ear. he slowly licks your earlobe, “what do you say? any ideas?”
the tension in the room was palpable. your heart was stammering in your throat from the proximity between the two of you. you gather the courage to answer as sukuna’s fingers curl around your neck, squeezing your throat as if forcing the answer out of you.
“i-i’ll do anything, sir.” you reply through a shaky breath. the king of curses pulls back after he’s got a response from you. your eyes meet his and that’s when you know that you’ve either greatly pleased him or have given him the chance to go all out on you.
it’s probably both.
“anything, you say?” sukuna repeats slowly. without a warning, he effortlessly flips you over on your stomach, a set of hands pulling your ass up by your hips whilst the other set holds your upper body down on the mattress.
a harsh grip on the back of your head results into you whimpering. your face was mushed into a pillow, almost leaving no place to breathe. your back is placed in the perfect arch with your plump ass facing up. it’s one of sukuna’s favourite positions to do with you — especially because it makes you seem smaller than you already are.
“heh. i’ll make you regret saying that.” sukuna chuckles. a low, evil and wicked chuckle. that’s enough to make you realise that he was not going easy on you. your submission had greatly impressed the king of curses and he's taking advantage of it. again.
what would come next could be a reward for that said submission. he’s going to fuck your brains out and make you forget about everything else except for his dick. a night you won’t ever forget as long as you live—that’s a possibility.
or perhaps you’re going to be crying and begging him to go easy on you. a punishment for not being able to keep your promise. that could also happen.
anyway, you’re about to find out which one it is.
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snoopyearss · 6 months
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When jjk characters call you ‘clingy’
Feat. crybaby-ish!reader
Gojo, geto, toji
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Cw: hurt, guilt, angst (if you squint)
This is inspiration from a mini series i read a few days ago by user @fumekara. It was so good, I love me some angst to hurt/comfort.
But i also wrote this from personal experience too, my bad yall i treat this like my own personal diary
Anyway, enjoy!
Satoru Gojo
He was pissed. He doesn’t typically show it much, but when he does, he gets kind of scary. He’s more quiet, his voice gets deeper, and his whole body language just shifts. So when the higher-ups piss him off after a very long meeting, the last thing he needs is someone to pounce on him. He usually loves it when you greet him at the door when you’re home for work. But today, he just wanted to strip off his clothes and hop into bed.
Gojo huffs as he leaves the elevator of your shared apartment and grabs his keys from his pocket to unlock the door. As he opens the door, he sees you in the kitchen grabbing ingredients for dinner. “Hi baby,” You softly greeted him. “Hey.” was all he said back. It confused you for a second because he’s never greeted you like that before.
“Is everything okay?” You walk up to him to try to kiss him on his cheek. “God- Y/n, please.” He grumbled, walking right past you and placing his briefcase on the table. “I’m just trying to help,” you defended, walking up to take his coat off for him. “At least let me take your coat-” That’s when he snapped. Something he’s never done to you before. “Y/n, I fuckin’ got it! Geez, you’re so fucking clingy!” He aggressively shrugged your hands off his shoulder. It scared you a bit, to see him so angry at you. You were confused, all you wanted to do was make him feel better. Were you really that clingy?
“I-I’m sorry.” your voice came out shaky and defeated. Hearing how small your voice sounded in response to him lashing out made Satoru’s heart shatter into thousands of pieces. He wanted to turn around and apologize, but the words weren’t coming out. By the time he turned to face you, Your back was already facing him, preparing dinner for the both of you as tears rolled down your face.
Suguru Geto
It was 2 weeks after Suguru deflected. 2 weeks since he committed mass murder in that village. 2 weeks since he left Satoru, Shoko, and the others. It was weighing on him and you could tell. Nothing but him, his two adopted girls, a few people who believed in his cause, and you.
You promised him you would go wherever he would go, and he was so grateful for it. He loves you deeply and would do anything for you. But some days just threw everything on him at one time, today was one of those days. Monkeys non-sorcerers begging him to exercise curses left and right, Nanako and Mimiko begging him to take them shopping, missing payments from those begging for his service. It was all too much. And the guilt was eating away at him.
He genuinely wasn’t paying attention to what you were saying and it annoyed him how much talking you were doing in his ear at that moment. You were both sitting outside watching the two girls play in the yard. “Y/n,” He interrupted you. “Don’t you have something better to do than to just bother me?” He sighed sounding so condescending. “What do you mean?”
“Must you always cling to me? Isn’t there something else you can do besides following me everywhere I go, at all times of the day?!” His voice raised a bit as if he was talking to a non-sorcerer. “I didn’t realize I was. I was only trying to tell you about what me and the girls did today,” You defended. “You’re always so busy, I rarely get to see you anymore.”
“Yeah, because you’re always underneath me. Sometimes-” He stopped mid-sentence because of the saddened look on your face. His eyes softened a bit. “Sometimes I just need my space.” He sighed. You only nodded and started to walk back inside. “Ok, I understand.” Your voice cracked. Leaving Suguru alone to think about what he had just said to you. As if he didn’t feel guilt then, he definitely feels guilt now.
Toji Fushiguro
Toji was a bit frustrated today. He was cheated out of his money after doing a side job, the bet he placed on the race he kept constantly telling you about fell through, leaving him with zero, and to top it all off, the child support payment was coming up. You being an empath and knowing your boyfriend so well, you wanted to help him any way you could.
He was sitting in the chair by the island in the kitchen with his fingers combing through his hair. He was on the phone with multiple people at once, trying to solve his money issues. “Shiu, you guaranteed me way more money than this! How am I supposed to cover this months child support with this amount?!” You walked up to where he was, wondering what all the commotion was about. “Baby?” You softly called out. You could hear Shiu on the other line trying to calm him down and explain the situation.
“That sounds like a bunch of bull and you know it Shiu, you better have my money by next week thursday or else I’m taking it myself.” He grumbled and hung up the phone. “Baby,” You gently placed a hand on his broad shoulder.
“What, Y/n.” He sternly said. You merely blinked a few times. “I was just checking to see if you were okay. What’s with the attitude?”
“I’m fuckin’ frustrated okay? Please leave. You aren’t helping right now.” He waved you off.
“I barely did anything, I just wanted to know if you needed help with anything-”
“Jesus, I said enough! I don’t need your help. Fuck, you’re so clingy.” His voice booming caused you to remove your hand from his shoulder in fear. Seeing your reaction caused him to think about what he said and how he said it. The last think he wanted to do was scare you. He wanted you to feel safe around him. But with the way you jumped at how he raised his voice, it saddened him a bit.
“Y/n, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” He was cut off by the sound of his child wailing in the background. “I’ll take care of it.” You said in the smallest voice, not even leaving him time to protest against it and apologize.
“Fuck.”
Part 2
5K notes · View notes
kbwrites · 2 months
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Husband! Nanami
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synopsis: your husband comes home for another long and arduous day. He only wishes to stay with you forever.
⚝tags: husband!nanami, reader is a housewife, nsfw, nanami loves eating his wife out
⚝wc: 1.6k
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Husband Nanami! Drags his feet, trudging wearily to the entrance of his shared home. Each step heavier than the last. Work has been increasingly stressful, each day more demanding than the last. Today was no different. He brings a tired hand up to the doorknob, turning it slowly. The soft yellow light of the foyer illuminates his face, the scent of his safe space hitting his nostrils.
“Kento?” There it was, the most melodious symphony he’d ever heard. Rounding the corner it was you, his loving wife. In that moment it seems as though all the stress from the day melts away, a small smile graces his lips and his tired eyes close briefly.
“Hello dear.”
Kento wasn’t exactly sure when he fell in love with you, just that at some point he stopped being able to imagine what life would be like without your presence. You became his peace, a ray of sunshine that cut through the darkness in his life. He never believed in karma or fate, but sometimes he’d wonder what he had done in his life to be deserving of your love.
He slips out of his shoes, heavy footsteps and drooping shoulders trudge toward you. He wrapped his strong arms around you, enveloping you in a warm embrace. Kento bends down slightly, burying his head into your hair allowing your scent to permeate his senses. You always smelled so good… A low hum of content emanates from his throat, almost like a cat purring. His arms tighten around you, pulling you impossibly close.
“How was your day?” He mumbles into your skin.
“My day was good.” You reply quietly. “What about you?”
“Long. Tiring..” He says with a sigh, pulling away slightly so he can have a better look at his sunshine. His hand reaches to cup your face, thumb making small circles on your cheek. You look at your husband, honey-colored eyes half-lidded, dark circles occupying his face. It was taking everything in him to stand right now.
“Are you hungry?” You muse, nuzzling your face into his hand. He only nods, still looking at you with tired eyes. Taking the hand that held your face you lead him to the dining room. The smell of food wafts through the room, a plate of steak and mashed potatoes, still hot. He takes a seat at the table, eyes lighting up at the dish.
“Thank you, my love.” He says before taking a bite, his eyes closing in satisfaction as the savory taste hits his tongue. He loved your cooking, it was like a balm to his weary soul. He continues eating in silence, looking up at you. You rest your chin in your hands, smiling at your husband.
“You’re not eating?” He says after swallowing.
“I ate before you came home.” A pang of guilt washes over him, Kento knows you probably waited as long as you could hoping you could hold out and wait to eat with him. With all the long hours he’s been putting in, he's barely had time for the one thing that made his life worth living
“I’m sorry…” He reaches for your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. You just smile, how did he end up with an angel?
He finishes eating his food, you get up grabbing the empty plate. Kento gently grabs hold of your wrist.
“Please, you cooked let me-”
“You can barely stand Ken.” You’re right, he’s come to find out that you usually are. He sinks back in the chair, too exhausted to protest. After loading the dishwasher you come back into the dining room, your husband exactly where you left him. Fighting off sleep in the chair.
You take his large hand in your smaller one, leading him to the bathroom. Although, Nanami is a serious man, one who was insistent on retiring you when you got married. He secretly loved when you took care of him, your gentle hands working his sore muscles combined with the hot water cascading down his body; he thinks in this moment he could fall asleep standing up.
He looks down at his wife fussing over him, your naked form, suds of soap covering your glistening skin. Even running on 3 hours of sleep the desire in him for his lover burns. His hands roam over your curves, gripping your hips. You pause your movements looking up at him as he pulls you closer, pads of his fingers digging lightly into the fat of your hips. How long had it been since he touched his wife? Made her writhe under him? Far too long in his opinion.
You finish the shower, leading his towel-clad body to your bedroom, drying him off you grab his night clothes from the top drawer. Suddenly bashful at all the attention you’ve been giving him Kento grabs your arm as you try to slip on his pajama pants. You look up at him inquisitively.
“Kento?” He doesn’t answer, just pulls you onto his lap. His large hands holding you in place.
“Darling..” His voice hoarse. Your body shivers in response, even after a year of marriage the sight before you— his chiseled abs, damp blond hair framing his sharp features, his lips parted and pupils blown… It was still too much. You feel the arousal pool between your legs.
“K-kento, you’re tired...” You try to be the voice of reason, but the love of your life looks so damn good right now. He places soft kisses on your chest, setting fire to your skin.
“You’ve been so good to me, allow me this.” He says before trailing kisses up and down your neck. His hands leave your waist, his touch slow and deliberate. His lips ghost over you, landing next to your ear.
“It’s been terrible my love… working all day when I’d rather be here… having you.” His breath against your ear.
“Ken!” You say embarrassed, he was always so blunt when you were having sex. “Just don’t go overboard…” You chide in between moans, your hands find his damp hair, raking through it gently. 
He uses the bit of strength he has left to lay you down on the bed, your back hitting the plush comforter. His hand trailing between your legs, he groans as he feels the wetness between your folds. Your back arches as he brings his digits up to your clit, making slow deliberate circles.
He looks up at you, eyes clouded with lust.
“Honey, I need you.” Is all he says before he buries his face into your cunt.
His tongue darting out to lap up all of your slick. Your darling husband sucking gently on your clit as his fingers tease your entrance. Your moans and whimpers only serve to encourage him. His long finger slides in, curling it upwards to your sweet spot.
“Kento~ s’good” You breathe, one hand snakes up to your stomach, giving the soft flesh a squeeze. His way of saying he heard you. His eyes flutter shut, completely enraptured in pleasing his precious wife. All the paperwork, unnecessarily long meeting with his boss, the entire shit storm of the day all seems to float away as he rests between your thighs.
“So good f’me my love.” He mumbles against your skin. The hand he had on your stomach reaches below to his growing erection. He wraps his hand around his thick length, rutting into his tight fist. He moans against your cunt, imagining his fist were your heavenly walls.
He knows you so well, just by the slight change in your voice he can tell he’s bringing you closer to the edge. His pace quickens, inserting another thick finger into your cunt, your walls flutter around him. Hot squelching noises emanate from your core. He released your clit with a ‘pop’ using the wet muscle to circle around the bundle of nerves. He wants so badly for you to cum, his own pleasure completely reliant on it. Your breath hitches, body spasms as you finally release. Your arousal coating his fingers, he removes them from you replacing them with his mouth. 
He greedily slurps up all the slick from your entrance, humming as your sweet essence coats his taste buds. 
“Kentooo” You whine, slightly overstimulated. You squirm trying to push your lover's head away from your throbbing cunt, he only grunts, strong arms holding your legs in place. Only after he’s had his fill he crawls up to you, resting your head on his broad chest. 
Your husband places kisses on your forehead, stroking your slightly damp hair. He takes deep breaths, helping to pace your own breathing. He looks down at his world, even your blissed out state was irresistible to him. 
“Was that too much for you my love?” He questions softly. You shake your head, a tired smile graces his lips.
“I’ve been neglecting you honey… I’m sorry.” He says apologetically, tracing patterns on your skin. You look up at him, the guilt evident on his face. 
He worked so hard so that you wouldn’t have to, his darling wife shouldn’t have to lift a finger. However he couldn’t bear the thought of you waiting up for him, missing him. The light of his life, so lonely in the big house he bought for her.
“It’s alright Ken.” You offer a gentle smile, of course, you missed your husband, but you didn’t want to stress him out any more than he already was. 
“No. It isn’t.” He said firmly. “I’ll request more days off, I need rest. And I need you.” He holds you tight as if you’d disappear at any moment. His mind was set, you swoon at your husbands' words.
“Good.” You say smiling, he leans down to place a gentle kiss to your lips. He rolls over to his back, the exhaustion hitting him again. You throw the cover onto both of your bodies. Sleeping taking over him quickly. You place a kiss to your husband's cheek before closing your eyes.
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lovelyghst · 9 months
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simon riley with a virgin!gf would be such a sweet, softhearted bully. always making an effort to be so gentle with you, never pressuring you past a prolonged kiss or some touches between layers of fabric, only to turn around and relentlessly tease you in passing.
simon riley and his addiction to subtly dragging a hand up your thigh when you're in public, whispering sexual remarks in your ear to get you all hot and flustered at the worst of times.
simon riley thought the reason he worked you up so much and so often was to get you begging for it, but was proven terribly wrong when he finally broke through your reserve and even he couldn't believe the words that came so surely from his mouth.
"not yet, baby. wanna make sure you're ready for me when the time comes, otherwise you’ll end up hurtin’ yourself."
simon riley adores watching you touch yourself. whether it be from right by your side as he guides you along, or from the entrance to your bedroom as you missed his texts telling you he’d be home early. he just loves to see you struggling to finish, getting all frustrated and embarrassed when you can’t do it yourself, prompting him to reassure you that everything’s alright before he’s taking over.
simon riley allows you to use his thigh or abs to get off only when you really need it badly, which you'll need to be in tears to prove most often. it's cruel, maybe, but reticence is necessary.
simon riley will urge you on as you rub your clothed cunt against his flexed muscles, even grabbing your hips to help you finish when you lose energy and begin to slow your movements. laughs when he bounces his leg to make you lose balance and yelp, but pouts in sympathy when you whine 'cause he ruined your high.
simon riley never lets you use his crotch to get off, though, as he can't promise his own restraint after a certain amount of your whines. it's the only time the soldier feels grossly weak, and you could never seem to figure out why it’d be such a bad thing.
simon riley gives you his mouth at most, and that's only after weeks of your pining and pleading for the next step. he just had to taste you before he went mad, but nothing more. he adores your innocence far too much to take it away it so soon.
the first time simon riley eats you out is nothing short of a warm mess. he tries to take his time—and he did, bringing out every word of praise in his vocabulary as you gradually got more comfortable—but once he started with the real thing, he couldn't hold himself back.
his thick and hot tongue laps at your pussy as his eyes quickly turn dazed, big inked arms wrapped around your soft thighs to hold your sensitive frame down. you can't tell that he's just slightly grinding himself down on the bed since you're instantly entranced in watching him show you what you've been missing out on for so long.
you don't notice how severely his cock strains in his pants with your mind only able to focus on the knot in your stomach, and how pretty he looks with a slick-covered stubble and drunken smirk. he makes you come on his tongue once before the moment is quickly cut short, your blissful whimpers and raw taste driving him to mutter a sharp swear under his breath and abandon you for the restroom.
you're left on the bed alone, distraught and worried you'd done something wrong, completely unaware to the fact he's fisting his cock with gritted teeth and an unruly pace only a door away.
heavy breathing filling the space, his mind running on all the possibilities for how he could just take you right now, apologize for everything. christ, he should just give you what you want and his poor cock throbs at the prospect, but what kind of man would he be?
he bites his tongue, muffles his groans, and spills himself in his palm with clenched eyelids and fists. absolutely shameful, but bound to happen. you hear the sink run for a moment before he's returning without a single trace or reason for his disappearance. he reads the guilt on your face and soothes you with a kiss to the forehead.
"sorry for the wait, lovie. wasn't very fair of me to leave you like this, now, was it?" and you can only shake your head, tears spilling over.
and finally, simon riley with a virgin!gf who will spend the rest of his day making things up to you: resuming his services with a newfound patience, showing you all the best ways to touch yourself for when he's not there- or for when he is there, because as he reminds you often, he won't be able to take his sweet girl's virginity for a long, long time. for your own sake, of course <3
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