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authenticleviackerman · 8 months

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What i think about Levi (having to) be miserable about the rumbling

this topic has been mentioned by user: @leviismybby

Some people think that after all the trauma of the rumbling happening, levi HAS to be miserable. After all, he's seen thousands of innocent people die and others died out of his sight, which must have scarred him to a degree for sure.

I think that after the rumbling, Levi would be traumatized. The rumbling is of course an allegory to a world war, and the fact is, no soldier has been quite the same after a war, and no person has been the same after various type of trauma. Looking up the definition of the word, you'll stumble upon this:

So in other words, each of us could be affected by trauma at any point in time. The difference between regular fear or sadness is that trauma affects you DEEPLY. It is something that could lurk inside of your head for years, sometimes even your entire life. Next, we'll look up at how trauma can affect a person.

Of course let's remind ourselves that what we're talking about is only fiction, but Isayama actually did a really good job at writing Levi. Looking at the symtoms, Levi has undirectly displayed quite a few of these symptoms, even if they were subtle.

RECURRENT, UNWANTED MEMORIES OF THE EVENT:

This symptom is not that present with Levi, as he often keeps a stoic, often numb outlook on things while Eren expresses distress over these. However, given the age gao between Eren, Reiner, Mikasa, or everyone else and Levi is that he has more experience with them. He is never questioning their sanity or doubting them in any way, but calming them down, since he probably has had his own fair share of experience.

FLASHBACKS

Again, this isn't something that occurs to Levi often, or *they aren't obviously shown* to be precise. But you see, he most likely does experience some form of them from his childhood back in the underground, by feeling the need to clean things up even when it wouldn't bother other people. He probably gets reminded of the little room he lived in with his mom and how he felt insecure about it since coming to the surface, as we've seen in the No Regrets OVA.

Thus, i doubt that rumbling hasn't left a mark on him.

UPSETTING DREAMS OR NIGHTMARES ABOUT THE EVENT

We all know that Levi suffers from insomnia. And honestly, all things considered, it makes sense.

SEVERE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS OR PHYSICAL REACTIONS TO SOMETHING THAT REMINDS YOU OF THE TRAUMATIC EVENT

This was all i could think about at the scene where he brutally kept slashing Zeke's limbs in order to prevent him from regenerating back. Some people could argue that it was simply to prevent Zeke from turning back into a titan, but i would argue that we've seen a much more efficient method back when Eren infiltrated Marley (specifically tying up his leg in a bandage, which has been proven as a functioning disguise)

So, Levi's judgement has been rash and unplanned, out of control even, since he not only endangered the life of someone he had to restrain but KEEP ALIVE, but his own, as well.

TRYING TO AVOID THINKING OR TALKING ABOUT THE SPECIFIC EVENT

This is also subtly alluded in the show, as he never told anyone about the past with his mother.

AVOIDING PLACES, ACTIVITIES OR PEOPLE THAT REMIND YOU OF THE TRAUMATIC EVENT

Now this is an interesting part, because Levi doesnt avoid much from his past, except the underground. But, who he has a complicated relationship with, is Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. He acts cold with them at times, harshly at others, but ultimately, he's trying to subconsciously fix his past mistakes.

The physical resemblance to his past friends is probably no more than a coincidence, but they do share aspects of Isabel's and Furlan's personalities that Levi sees in Eren and Armin, such as Isabel's undying curiosity about the outside world, and Furlan's analytical strategist mind, similar to Armin's. Now, you would think that the one Levi sees himself in the most is Mikasa given their ties to the Ackerman clan, but the thing is, Levi didn't know he was an Ackerman unril Kenny told him, meaning he saw her strength and want to do everything alone as simply something they shared. Eren however is also similar to younger Levi in terms of being hot headed, just like he used to be. As we all know, Furlan and Isabel died because he gave in and let them go on a mission he knew they could not survive, so now he had to watch Erem, Mikasa and Armin grow up, subconsciously being reminded of them, because their deaths caused him a lot of emotional distress.

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT YOURSELF, OTHER PEOPLE, OR THE WORLD:

In this part i'd like to leave some screenshots, which i believe speak for themselves.

and also this one

This might not seem like much, but his thinking and personality HAVE BEEN AFFECTED, no matter how stoic his face might be.

HOPELESNESS ABOUT THE FUTURE

Now, this is a 2 sided topic. When watching attack on titan, i noticed Levi's and Mikasa's loyalty, which however feels almost *passive*. You never see Mikasa or Levi having dreams like Armin who wants to see the sea, Erwn who wants to be free, Annie who wished to live a peaceful life, or Jean who wanted to date Mikasa.

Mikasa nor Levi have never expressed having a single wish which would not involve a person important to them. However, even Mikasa had something Levi didn't, and that is, hope for the future. Mikasa wanted to live a life with Eren. When it comes to Levi, he never really expressed any wish or hope because truth be told, after losing Erwin and Hange, he didn'thave any. His only goal was to complete his mission and prove that his comrades didn't die in vain.

I know what you might be thinking, but he opened his own teashop because he loved tea! Yes he did indeed do that, but again, he wasn't alone. He took in Gabi and Falco, so he had a reason to keep going. Now, some of you may say that that's not how a broken person would think, but oftentimes, we TRY to find a reason to survive. We TRY to keep going. We WISH TO WANT TO KEEP GOING. That said, Gabi and Falco are an important part of his life, they definitely help him stay grounded after the war. After all, he has been thrown from one kind of chaos to another where you have to adjust to a vastly different life in a short amount of time, but they undoubtedly do help him get by, maybe even find joy of the little things in life that he had no time to appreciate earlier.

MEMORY PROBLEMS, INCLUDING NOT BEING ABLE TO RECALL CERTAIN PARTS OF THE EVENT.

this is an aspect i can't really explore so far, as we know almost nothing about Levi's life post war. Maybe the new manga coming out will give us more insight.

DIFFICULTY MAINTAINING CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS

This one is pretty obvious. Levi did say women were quite interested in him, but he didn't seem to think of any of them in a romantic way. In fact he was mostly reserved even towards his own squad, only chatting with Hange who considers Levi a very good friend, and Erwin, whom he is loyal to as Mikasa is to Eren.

FEEKING DETACHED FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS

This has been described in the previous paragraph at least for the most part, but i think it should be important to mention that he didn't really show an interest in Hange suggesting they should live together in a hut somewhere (that doesn't mean that he disliked or liked the particukar idea, i just wanted to show an example)

LACK OF INTEREST IN ACTIVITIES YOU ONCE ENJOYED

We know that Levi doesn't really seem to show fondness towards any hobby other than cleaning (which is mostly a trauma response) other than drinking tea perhaps, but i don't think there's anything else i could mention other than the fact that we've never seen him relax. Even while they were at the sea, he just awkwardly stood there. I am the kind of person which is mostly quiet among people reading my book, though it doesn't necessarily mean i feel bad in any way, so again, we might gain some more insight in the new manga chapter.

DiFFICULTY EXPERIENCING POSITIVE EMOTIONS

Again, he didn't seem to be happy about any of their accomplishments as soldiers.

FEELING EMOTIONALLY NUMB

Now, contrary to the popular belief that Levi is "stoic" (which is mostly his face going numb at best, you see where i'm going?)

Levi feels intense emotions. Problem is, it happens rarely. It happened when he saw Isabel and Furlan's deaths (the moment when he went emotionally numb) and when he saw Kenny for the first time in years for example (or turning Zeke into a kebab).

In short, please don't confuse stoicism with Levi's unhealthy way of not expressing emotions. Stoicism isn't about that. He just feels constantly on edge.

(And to be honest i don't think Kenny was the type of a parental figure to encourage Levi to express how he feels)

BEING EASILY STARTLED OR FRIGHTENED

This is something that wasn't expressed, so i won't talk about that.

ALWAYS BEING ON GUARD FOR DANGER

again same as the previous point however i think this is very likely as Levi was able to tell an attack was going to happen a second before it actually happened.

SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR

This is something Levi does. He always wants to work and fight, even if he's in pieces. He doesn't care how much he gets hurt. He just wants to save his comrades and complete his mission, blocking out everything else, including his own well being, which can be self destructive behavior. After all, just remember the screenshot i put above.

TROUBLE SLEEPING

an obvious one, definitely continues after the war too.

TROUBLE CONCENTRATING

Levi needs someone to guide him. Otherwise, his own thinking rarely ever ends well

IRRITABILITY, ANGRY OUTBURSTS OR AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR

I'm just going to provide a manga exerpt here. No matter what the circumstances were, it was aggressive and they changed it in the anime too.

OVERWHELMING GUILT OR SHAME

There have been instances where Levi felt guilty and sad. For example when he could do nothing but watch Hange die, all of his other comrades, when he burdened his squad by allowing himself to be severely injured.

Even before, back in the no regrets special he felt ashamed for the soldier calling his room dirty.

Overall, I'd say that Levi was definitely affected by his experience a lot, but Gabi and Falco give him a reason to keep going, as even the biggest problem won't feel as impossible when you're not alone.

If you ever feel anxious, depressed, alone or just need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. My DM's are always open <3

In the end, i'd like to say that Attack on Titan is a work of fiction and is not reflective of real life, on the other hand, i believe that talking about things like this can help people learn. By writing this post i don't mean to hate on Levi's character at all, i just simply wanted to express my POV. He's a character which is very close to my heart as we're similar in a lot of ways, and he actually helped me deal with many of my issues. I AM ALSO NOT A PROFESSIONAL, JUST A NERDY STUDENT WITH SPECIAL INTERESTS.

Thank you very much for reading. ^-^

Authentic Levi Ackerman

#attack on titan #anime #shingeki no kyojin #levi ackerman #anime and manga #snk #aot #fictional characters #character analysis #eren yeager #eren aot #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #attack on titan fanart #my writing #original writing #special interest

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yagamisdiary · 11 months

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can we have some parasite or eldia headcanons on how they acted as kids 😭

omg yes !! i’ll do parasite first and then if u guys also want eldia lmk

parasite yn:

- was the type of kid to dig up worms in the backyard and keep them in her pockets to show ppl randomly for shock factor (i see her doing this with frogs and lizards too)

- used to hide in the kitchen cabinets to see how long it would take for her parents to find her

- once pretended to play dead at the public swimming pool and ppl actually began freaking out

- her dad had a lot of tattoos so she would color them in with markers whenever she was bored

parasite eren

- used to play an insane amount of call of duty

- his mom used to call him a stalker because he used to be everywhere anywhere at anytime and would just stare at ppl in silence (u know what scene i’m referring to)

- he has a total of 26 scars, a majority coming from childhood and forcing himself to learn how to skate

- used to own every skating magazine and wore Thrasher and Golf religiously in middle school

sasha

- was a surprisingly a picky eater for the first few years of her life and would only ever order dinosaur chicken nuggets until one day her dad convinced her to try something else and she never looked back

- used to be called the “jump rope queen” in elementary school and held the record for longest time spent without messing up

- her family are the richest farmers in Paradis and she grew up around a lot of animals. she has a horse, two pigs and several chicken

- used to think bloody mary was real and refused to be in any room with a mirror and the lights out

hitch

- was in beauty pageants at any early age until she got kicked out of one for cheating and sabotaging other girls

- has a childhood dog named lucky which her family recused from getting hit on the street

- preferred moths over butterflies because she was sad they didn’t get as much love

- used to beg her parents for quarters to get stick on tattoos for the machines

connie

- starting wearing cologne at a very early age because he was terrified ppl could smell that he hadn’t showered yet

- was that kid that had permanently orange fingers from too much cheese puffs

- type to smell his clothes on the floor to see if they’re clean or not

- won the talent show three times in a row in elementary for break dancing (it was the same routine every year)

jean

- only child energy of a rich family so he literally gets whatever he wants, doesn’t really know how to save money just asks for more

- tried to learn how to skate with eren once, failed miserably, and never bothered to try again

- cheese stick addict

- once fell off a moving truck and broke his arm

mikasa

- learned how to play piano and violin early on

- won the spelling bee once and never bothered to do it again

- was the kid who constantly asked where babies come from

- type of kid to get a new article of clothing and wear it to death

historia

- was in ballet for several years

- went through a phase where she was obsessed with chewing gum

- used to go shopping with her mom and lie to their dad about it

- had a cat that would sleep with her every night

#parasite

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narcissussren · 1 month

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Assassin Mikasa and Crown Prince Eren

!death penalty as an empty threat

The crown prince and his knights stopped as it began to get dark in the woods.

"Let's camp here." The royal commanded.

They returned from a festival celebrated in his honor for the win at the latest battle at the kingdom's border around a year ago.

When crown prince Eren was born he was granted a divine blessing, no matter how much he would fight in the battlefield, he would always come alive, god of destruction and protector of the kingdom.

He entered the tent set for him to change into a fresh lighter attire for the night as he returned from the river. As he was about to button up his white linen shirt, he felt he should turn around.

He was met with a dagger against his neck, a young woman held it. In a swift movement he took the blade from her.

Feeling she had no other escape, she grabbed the pill infused with poison she carried with her.

"Oh, I don’t think so." He threw the weapon to the side and grabbed her hand, squeezing her wrist hard to make her drop it.

She let it go, and tried to leave his grasp and flee the scene, but he pulled her closer and grasped her other hand.

When she tried to kick him, he made them fall to the ground, where he pinned her hands over her head and had his leg between her knees. He contemplated her, the way her black curled hair looked against the rug, her soft features illuminated by the lamps.

"I have to give you merits, that's the closest someone has ever gotten. What do you do for a living?"

She didn’t answer and avoided his gaze.

"You don't speak?"

"Not with you."

He chuckled, liking her, and held her hands with just one of his, using the other to caress with his knucles her face. He changed his knuckles for his thumb to stroke the scar below her eye.

"I offer you something," he smiled when her eyes turned to looked briefly at him, "I could use a knight pretending to be my concubine. What do you say? Or you prefer the death penalty for trying to kill the crown prince?"

She didn’t answer. It was to be killed or to be at the mercy of a man she despised.

"And well?"

"I accept." She muttered.

#assassin mikasa #crown prince eren #knight mikasa #eremika

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karizard-ao3 · 1 year

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Eremika Role Reversal WIP Segment

It's Mikasa Week on Twitter and I was really trying to get this fic done in time for it but it's ended up being a lot more than I anticipated, so I'm sharing this portion of the rough draft because I still want to celebrate Mikasa, who is a perfect angel and has never done anything wrong in her life.

There's no context needed. This is from the start of the WIP onward.

The door swings open and slams into the wall, rattling the paintings that hang there in the luxurious suite.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Armin shouts, storming into the room, his eyes blazing with fury and panic. “Do you even know what you’ve done?”

Eren is on his feet in an instant, his eyes hard and dark, his teeth set into a snarl, stalking towards him, wolflike and dangerous, putting his body between Armin and the pale, black-haired girl beyond. It is still strange to Armin, seeing Eren like this: glaring at him with two gleaming eyes, standing there without his prosthesis or his crutch. Armin’s eyes linger for a disoriented moment on the strange curve of calf and shin that fills out Eren’s pant leg before he comes back to himself and turns his attention to the young woman beyond. At the window seat, Mikasa has barely moved, her eyes still trained on the desolation below. Armin’s stomach twists, fresh anguish and rage coursing through him. He doesn't recognize either of his two best friends anymore. He doesn’t know where he fits in this new hell they have created.

“Mikasa!” Armin shouts.

“Get out,” Eren growls. “If you’re here to act superior, just go.”

“I won’t,” Armin snaps. “I need to talk to Mikasa.”

Mikasa turns towards the commotion, watching them both with shadowed eyes, her lips pulling into a frown.

“Armin?” she says. “How long have you been here?”

“Do you know how many years of diplomacy you’ve just wasted?” he demands, ignoring her question, pushing past Eren. Eren grabs his wrist, restraining him, squeezing far tighter than he needs to, his fingertips digging into Armin’s skin hard enough to bruise. Armin ignores the pain. “Do you know how many people you’ve slaughtered, Mikasa?”

“They were coming to kill you,” Mikasa says, faintly, her cheeks fading to an even whiter cast. “They…”

“Leave. Now,” Eren instructs, swinging Armin around and shoving him towards the door. “She needs to rest.”

“She needs to answer for her crimes,” says Armin, his voice dripping with vitriol.

“She hasn’t committed any,” Eren hisses, giving Armin one final shove and shutting the door in his face. He turns the key in the lock and turns to Mikasa. “Don’t listen to him,” he says, but she has already turned back to the window, her body curling in on itself. He comes up behind her, resting his hand on her shoulder.

“The houses look so small without the walls,” she says. Eren considers this, looking out at the scene before them. The cottages and inns and shops of Shiganshina huddle together like frightened mice, surrounded by a mind numbing expanse of empty, trodden fields. In the distance, he can see the horizon. It feels like a dream to be able to watch the sun set instead of losing it to the walls long before darkness falls.

“I wasn’t thinking about diplomacy,” Mikasa whispers. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I wasn’t.” She sits for a moment, the muscles in her throat shifting as she swallows again and again. “How many babies did I kill?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Eren soothes. “You didn’t mean to do it. It was her, and they’ll see that soon..”

She takes a deep, shaky breath, her gaze still glued to the scars she has left on the land. She hasn’t looked Eren in the face since she came out of her titan, wheezing and gasping for breath, her eyes wild and frenzied, their friends staring at her in simultaneous horror and relief.

No one can agree on whether she has saved them or damned them all.

But Eren knows where he stands, and it is here at her side. He combs his fingers through her tangled hair, an idle habit, and she wilts beneath his touch.

"How do I live with myself after this?" she says. "Why did your father put this burden on me?"

That's something Eren has often wondered himself, first with discontentment and jealousy and then with dawning sorrow as he realized the full scope of the unwilling sacrifice his father had exacted from her. She would not talk about it at length, besides when she had revealed all during her trial, but he believed he could pinpoint the night it had happened. He had risen, restless, from his sleeping pad on the floor of the makeshift refugee center- a colorless, hollow cavern echoing inside his chest as his every nerve screamed for his mother to return to him from across the gulf of mortality. How could he sleep when the memories of her disappearing into that titan's grinning craw played an endless, looping show in the theater of his mind? Surrounding him, curled on their own thin mats, Armin and Mikasa slept, their breath deep and even, sleep erasing the harrowed, wide-eyed panic that had painted their faces beneath smears of tears and dirt. Eren could not lose himself in sleep and so he walked, wandering the streets of this unfamiliar city, imagining he would find his mother waiting around just the next corner and reminding himself that wishful thinking was not enough to raise the dead. When he finally returned, not long before sunrise, Mikasa was lying awake, staring up at the ceiling, so still that he feared for a moment she was dead, too, but, as he lowered himself onto his mat and pulled the thin blanket to his shoulders, her head fell sideways and she looked at him. Her eyes were so wide and shiny that they seemed to glow like twin full moons, the reflected light silvery and sad. She looked even older than she had before she had fallen asleep. He had a moment of disorientation noticing that the scratches he remembered seeing on her cheeks and forehead were gone, but memory could be fickle and he brushed away his moment of unease.

"I couldn't sleep," Eren said, scooting to the edge of his mat, closer to her.

"Someone woke me up," she'd said, rolling to face him. "Now I'm thinking."

Their eyes met, and for a moment Eren could imagine that they were in the bedroom they had shared in his family home, back in Shiganshina, tucked into their twin beds and whispering their secrets to each other from across the expanse of floor that separated them. Now they were so close that Eren could reach out and take her hand when he confessed, "I miss my mom."

"I don't know who I am anymore," said Mikasa, repaying his revelation with one of her own. She was working her way up to telling him what was truly on her mind. She never disclosed her real secret in the first round

"I want to kill every last titan," said Eren, his hand tightening around hers, his voice quivering with irate passion. "I want to wipe them off this earth." Mikasa shrank in on herself, and Eren didn't know why there suddenly appeared to be a wall between them. He hated walls. "When they're all gone, we can have our home back," he said. "When all the titans are dead, we'll be free."

He waited for her to take her turn, but it was a long wait, agonizing as she turned her thoughts over in her head, always so much more careful than he. Finally, she met his eyes again and said, "I'm scared."

"Then you can sleep with me tonight," said Eren, just as his mother would have done, and lifted his blanket for her to crawl under. It barely covered them, but she added her blanket to the pile and they wrapped their skinny, ten-year-old arms around each other and laid like that until dawn, neither of them speaking but neither of them sleeping either.

Now he wonders if they're in for another sleepless night as he strokes her black hair, humming under his breath. She rouses a little, turns to him. "Don't do that," she says. "I don't deserve it."

“Of course you do,” he murmurs, his fingers smoothing down the black, silken strands, gentle but persistent.

“How do I live with myself?” she repeated, and even though it pains him to hear the anguish in her voice, it comforts him to see that she is no longer playing the statue.

“You lost control,” he reasons. “Ackermans aren’t supposed to transform. It’s the one thing you’re not good at.”

Her lips twist and she touches her fingers to the back of her neck, her eyes dulling like stones. He knows what she is thinking, knows better than he knows his own mind. “And yet…” she murmurs.

And yet she can transform.

She wonders, as she often does, how many people ignored her screams on the night that Grisha Jaeger cursed her, when he lured her from her mat at the refugee shelter, murmuring, “Come with me, Mikasa. Let’s find Eren,” and spirited her away to the small wood outside of town. She had trusted Eren’s father, had thought nothing of following him in among the trees, had still believed he would never do her any harm when he withdrew the syringe from his coat and held it up, gleaming in the moonlight. “This has to work,” he had rasped, grabbing her arm with a hand like a vise. “I can’t give this to my son. I can’t give this to Eren.”

“Uncle?” she had whimpered as he twisted her into a headlock and forced her chin forward, exposing the nape of his neck. She was polite in her terror, respectful of her elders as her Hizuran mother had taught her to be.

“If I do it here, maybe… Maybe…” Grisha muttered, running a finger along the ridges of her vertebrae and settling on one bony peak.

“Uncle?” she whimpered again. Then, pain. It stabbed into her and shot down her back and clawed at the base of her skull, howling through her throat in an agonized wail that shifted into a roar of hunger.

It wasn’t until she had devoured the old man that she came to and realized what he had done to her and what she had done to him. His memories bled into hers, giving her a panoramic view of his violent demise, crushed between her gnashing teeth and down into her gullet, and the understanding that she was one of the fabled Ackermans, and she could not be turned into a titan except by this one trick, Grisha’s final gambit – an injection directly into her spine.

She was delirious as she stumbled back to the shelter, battered by tidal waves of past lives that would have been locked to her if it weren’t for her exceptional inheritance – her Ackerman immunity. She lost her way several times, dogged by the paranoid sensation of being watched from inside her head, her every confused thought observed by a pair of shadowed eyes. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she searched for her sleeping mat and Armin, hoping that Eren would come back and that he would not hate her for what she had become. The memory unleashes her tears in the present. They lacquer her cheeks and she tastes their saltiness when the beads break open on her lips. The back of her neck prickles. She resumes her vigil at the window, her teeth making tatters of her lips as she frets, wisps of steam shrouding her face as her skin stitches itself back together with Sisyphean diligence beneath her unrelenting ravages. Her hand hovers at her bare throat, her fingers reaching for nothing. Eren stands and goes to her bedside, retrieving a neatly folded bundle and letting it unfurl.

He loops the scarf around her neck and her grasping fingers find purchase in the knit fabric, tugging it up over her nose. She sighs, the tension in her back easing just a little. Eren brushes the hair away from her forehead.

Mikasa lets out a long, painful breath. “I don’t know why I thought I could control it this time. I thought… Historia…” she trails off, nestling deeper into her scarf. “Do you know where she is?”

“I can find her for you,” Eren offers, wondering if he should leave her alone. “We can go look for her together.”

Mikasa looks towards the locked door. On the other side are the friends who had become her foes. She almost wishes they had succeeded in killing her.

No.

Not almost.

She should be in the ether along with everyone who had died today. And yet, she is not and she is not sure whether she even deserves that peace. Because of her, twenty percent of humanity has been trampled and a new wall has formed, advancing Paradisian territory far beyond the island, bisecting continents and cupping the sea. Years of diplomatic efforts had been negated in a matter of hours. Would Hizuru at least still stand with her, or was this too much for even them who had declared themselves allies to the devil island that had sheltered and raised their lost Azumabito princess?

“Mikasa?” Eren asks. “Do you want to go look for the Queen?”

Mikasa does not. She is afraid to see Historia. She is worried they will come too close and that skin will touch skin and the horror will begin anew. And yet, Mikasa needs to see her with an intensity that threatens to turn her inside out.

She falters. “No,” she says, running her hands up and down the gooseflesh that has risen on her arms. “I can’t face- When they see me again… I want- I want to at least look strong.” She takes a deep breath. “I want to take a bath and put on my uniform. I think… I think I should at least do that… I should be at my best when I go to face my crimes.”

With that declaration, the meager ration of resilience bestowed upon her by her scarf’s gentle embrace is depleted and she is nearly crushed by the weight of what she’s become.

Eren surges towards her as her eyes cloud over and she wilts like a moisture-starved campanula. She has withdrawn once more. He cradles her face in his hands, trying to catch her gaze but she is limp and listless and all he can think to do, when all his other efforts have been exhausted, is to pull her to her feet and help her to the bathroom. She stands against the wall, staring at nothing as he fills the claw-footed bathtub.

"Come here, Mikasa," he says in a melodious, inviting baritone. "Your bath is ready."

She wanders over and looks down at the clear, steaming water. She wants to be immersed in it, but the small feats she must complete before she can are insurmountable. Her fingers falter at her neckline. The small white button on her shirt is the heaviest thing she has ever had to move.

Eren does it for her, brushing her hand away with gentle fingers. His capacity for softness becomes infinite when they are alone. He looks everywhere but down as he slips each button through its buttonhole, remembering another time when he undressed her. His breath catches and he fumbles on the last button, then steadies his hands and slides her shirt from her shoulders. She doesn't blush or smile at him like she did in Marley. Her eyes now are like tarnished silver coins when back then they had gleamed like polished hematite, holding his as he settled on top of her with gleeful uncertainty. He helps her remove her pants, sliding them down her legs and tapping each shin in turn, prompting her to step out of them.

"Sorry," she mutters, placing a light hand on his shoulder to steady herself.

He keeps his eyes on her feet as he removes her underpants, then stands, averting his gaze, and turns her around so only her bare back is visible to him when he pulls her athletic brassiere over her head.

He helps her into the tub and she sinks down to her chin, resting her head back against the porcelain. The tips of her short hair fan out across the surface of the water and she closes her eyes.

Eren retrieves a chair and sets it with its back against the tub before he sits in it, wiggling the toes he's still getting used to having again while he listens to the faint lapping of the bathwater behind him and Mikasa's measured breaths.

He extends his leg, moving his foot back and forth. It still didn't feel like his after so many years without it. He had been eaten in Trost when he was fifteen, swallowed by a bearded titan after throwing Armin from its maw. His leg had fallen victim to the monster's teeth, and his eye had been damaged after, possibly when Mikasa, in her titan form for the first time ever, had torn open the bearded brute and excavated his gullet, searching for Eren. He had lost a lot of blood and his consciousness, remembering nothing past pitch blackness, suffocating heat, and his futile attempts to haul himself back up the monster’s esophagus with his blades, plunging them into titan’s slimy gastric wall, his head swimming from the temperature and the sanguineous gush from his severed knee. He thinks he remembers ripping his sleeve and tying a clumsy tourniquet around his stump, but the only thing he can be sure of is that he has been ingested, and then he woke up in a bed with a bandage over half of his face and phantom pains in his missing foot and calf. Armin was sitting with him, staring out the window, unaware that Eren had returned to the waking world.

“Did Mikasa save me again?” he’d croaked. He was parched. His tongue was rough and tacky against the roof of his mouth and he wanted nothing more than he wanted a sip of water.

Armin jolted, looking down at Eren with wide eyes. “Good morning!” he said. “I mean, good afternoon!”

Eren cast a feeble glance side to side, expecting to see Mikasa, but she was nowhere to be found. The betrayal irked him but he was too proud to ask why she wasn’t at his bedside with Armin. “How- how long-?” he asked, struggling to form the words in a mouth like the deserts in Armin’s book. How long had he been asleep for?

Armin stood. “I’ll get you some water,” he said, catching Eren’s predicament. “And then… I have to tell you about Mikasa.”

Armin said it in such a grave way that Eren was sure that she was dead. He would have gulped if he’d had enough moisture in his mouth to do so, but he could hardly swallow. Instead, he lay there with his hands clasped on his chest, waiting for the water and waiting to find out his dearest and most confusing friend was gone. It didn’t make sense. She was strong, and talented, and she was supposed to survive longer than the rest of them. She was supposed to die as an old woman.

Armin helped Eren sit, propping him up with more pillows and holding the glass of water to his lips. Eren drank as much as he could stomach, then lifted his chin, indicating he was done. Armin sat back down in his chair, holding the half-empty glass in his lap with both hands.

“What happened to Mikasa?” Eren rasped.

Armin didn’t answer for a long time.

“Armin? What-?”

“She’s a titan.”

Now it was Eren’s turn to fall silent as he tried to work out what Armin could possibly mean. “You mean…” This time he can swallow. “Are you saying a titan ate her?”

“...No,” said Armin. “I mean…” He sighed. “It sounds… It sounds insane, doesn’t it? But… in Trost… after you saved me from that bearded titan and he swallowed you instead, the supply depot was abandoned and overrun by titans. We couldn’t retreat without more gas and we couldn’t get to the gas. It was just us cadets, and… well. Mikasa… she screamed something about being strong and if we don’t fight we can’t win and she went tearing away across the rooftops and went after the titan who had eaten you. She used up way too much gas and we were too far behind her to help. One of the titans noticed her and headed her way, and…” Armin stopped, staring sightlessly in front of him, reliving the moment with lingering disbelief. “She cut her palm with her blade, and… she just… burst, somehow. Like… she burst and the titan inside of her shot out and wrapped around her, and… Uh.” Armin shook his head. “The first thing she did was rip apart the bearded titan and take you out. Once she'd put you out of reach, she took care of the titans outside the supply depot and we took care of the titans inside, and… Well. I had this idea, too. That we could do before we went back to rejoin the troops. There was this big boulder near the gate and Mikasa was still a titan and…” He trailed off.

“And what?” said Eren.

Armin was clearly proud of his ingenuity but doing his best not to brag. “I suggested that she could seal the gate with the rock. I think it saved her life.”

“Eh?” said Eren. He was tiring out fast but he was still trying to make sense of how Mikasa, their Mikasa, could be one of the same enemies who had killed his mother.

Armin gripped the water glass tighter. “They wanted to kill her,” he said.

Eren tensed.

“Most of the cadets retreated before we tried for the gate and reported what had happened to Command. And then it took her a while to come out of the titan. She kept pacing around until eventually she collapsed and… well. People were scared and the wait gave them plenty of time to panic. She could barely move when I got her back over the wall, but everyone was circled around us, flinching and jumpy like they thought she was going to attack them. There was this one guy who kept screaming to ready the cannons. But, you know. The gate was sealed because of her, and Pixis had just arrived and he's… If you meet him, you'll get it. He's… interesting." Armin stopped talking for a moment, lost in thought. "If Pixis hadn't been there, I don't think Mikasa would have made it out alive."

"Of course she would have," said Eren, resting heavily on his pile of pillows. "She's the most talented cadet in our year. Maybe ever."

Armin was doubtful. "You didn't see her," he said. "Trost took a lot out of her."

"Where is she now?" Eren asked. He was too weary to restrain the plaintive note in his voice, or to decrypt what it meant for him if the girl he'd always wanted to save had become one of the monsters he needed to destroy.

"She's locked up while they decide what to do with her," Armin said.

Eren had gone back to sleep not long after that, and in his dreams Mikasa loomed over him, smiling like the titan who had orphaned him, blank-eyed and clumsy. He spent the next couple of weeks stewing over it whenever he was alone, trying to make sense of it. He wanted to see her but the thought repulsed him at the same time. Mikasa was a titan. Armin had seen it happen, and the people attending to Eren's care whispered about it with each other, sharing the rumors that were floating around on the streets.

When they helped him into a wheelchair and rolled him to the courthouse for his first outing since his injury, he was sullen. The conflict still raged inside him. How could he kill all of the titans when she was one of them? Without her he had no more home, but creatures like her were the ones who had taken it from him in the first place.

#mikasa week #mikasa ackerman #mikasaweek2023 #role reversal au #Attack Titan Mikasa #Founder Mikasa #She does the Rumbling but it's not the same #You'll have to wait and see

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strscrossed · 5 months

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May we have the drafts left out?

okay, here's a huge one. this is completely axed and not a part of the warlord "canon" just take it as a deleted scene. under the cut. also not edited.

The morning sun is already uncomfortable against her skin and the heat is suffocating. Even if the mask makes her stomach turn, Eren’s lucky in that he doesn’t have to breathe in the dry desert air.

She practically feels the sand and rock particles obstructing her airway. She doesn’t protest as Eren gently lifts her into the rig.

“There’s a settlement just 30 miles from here,” he tells her. “We won’t go too far.”

His calloused hands rest on her thigh as he drives. He seems extra handsy today and maybe it’s because for once, Eren doesn’t have to let her go. She’s with him from sun up till sun down. He gets to share her bed. He gets to keep her all to himself and his duties don’t clash with him keeping an eye on her.

“I don’t remember this road?” she says as he takes a turn.

Eren hums, “Probably not. No one comes here. Only the Wretched dwell along this road.”

She recoils at the use of that term. Eren hated that term as a little boy. Technically, they’d been apart of that group as children being forced to fend for themselves and fighting over the scraps. She hated that term because it sums up the miserable state of the world in general.

And now, she understands her role in actively making it worse.

“You don’t have to call them that,” she says, quietly. She dares to voice an opinion and purses her lips, waiting for a reaction. She holds her breath as Eren’s grip on her thigh tightens.

“You haven’t seen them yet, Mikasa. You’ll see what I mean.”

She shakes her head, “I don’t have to, Eren. They’re still people struggling to survive. Like I had to—”

She cuts herself off before she says too much but it’s too late. Eren’s grip tightens and she gasps, causing him to withdraw his hand. He doesn’t look at her but he glares into the glass and she sees how much damage her words have caused.

“Like you had to…” he echoes and she turns away, silently cursing her stupidity. She should’ve stayed silent as she had been. Eren is relentless. It’s one of the only traits he’s retained since childhood.

“It’s nothing,” she tries, weakly.

“Don’t,” he warns. “What happened to you, Mikasa? Where were you taken when they took you away?”

Fuck. Damn it. She holds her tongue, going completely silent as she looks out the window, looking at the moving landscape changing from rock to sand. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll stop if she just changes the subject.

No such luck. Not today.

“Answer me,” he growls. The demonic voice that comes through the mask is bone-chilling. It’s a voice that she’ll hear in her nightmares for the rest of her life.

She stays quiet, praying that he’ll give up.

She doesn’t know why she expected that because he makes a sharp turn, causing her to bumb into the door before slamming the brakes altogether.

“Er-” she tries but he turns and reaches for her arm, turning her around so she’s staring into those piercing eyes.

“I asked you a question, Mikasa. Answer me! Where were you? And what did they do to you?”

He isn’t budging. He isn’t hurting her but he isn’t going to budge until he gets what he wants. Mikasa knew better than this. She can’t tell him the honest answer of what she endured in the years between being taken and being whisked off to the outpost in the mountains.

“It really doesn’t matter, Eren. I was just trying to survive when I escaped. I—” she tries to think fast but she’s never been a good liar. Eren can see right through her and he’ll keep her hear until he gets every last bit out of her.

He narrows his eyes, “It matters to me. You matter to me. You don’t think I see how you hide? How scars cover every inch of your body? They hurt you, didn’t they? I’ll kill them, I’ll—”

She leans forward. She can’t kiss him with the mask but she touches his face. She gently thumbs the scars under his eyes and she feels him relax under her touch.

“I’m here, Eren. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

He leans into her touch, pressing the mask into the palm of her hand. She tries not to pull it away.

“You are. And no one is going to hurt you ever again.”

He says it like an oath, the one that he’s kept close to his heart these past several days, Mikasa feels herself relax only slightly — well, as much as she can in the presence of that mask. She’s never had to touch it but now as the teeth pressed into her hands, her stomach twists painfully.

No one except you, of course…

The seconds tick by and Eren doesn’t say anything. Mikasa holds her breath, averting her gaze ahead. He’s turned into a narrow canyon road. Like this is the point where the earth is ripping itself apart. Just the sight of it unnerves her.

“You will tell me, won’t you?” Eren asks, looking at her again, cupping her chin and turning her face toward him.

“I—” she closes her mouth, not interested in whispering promises she has no intention of keeping.

“Please,” he pleads. Again, the distortion of his voice makes him sound demonic.

“Alright. One day. When I feel like thinking about it myself.”

She doesn’t promise anything and she doesn’t know if he catches that or not.

His silence comes as solace.

#answered #from the drafts #warlord au

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bryhaven · 2 years

Text

Why "Under the Tree" is actually a RivaMika song

This song is all the rave right now. And it's actually a good one that has Linkin Park vibes. But being a RivaMika shipper, I couldn't help but delve deeper to analyze the lyrics.

And what I found is interesting.

𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑡? 𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛? 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒’𝑠 𝑛𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

Mikasa was wondering what happened to Levi and was unsure of the situation and where he is, so she goes to ask Floch. Sure, she also asked about Hanji. But there is a difference when a person's name comes first.

𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑑? 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛? 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑟 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦

Ackertalk. Where was Levi headed with the conversation and what did he mean? It still remains a mystery to Mikasa how she and Levi had a certain connection through the Ackerman history, and she never got to know more about it. And even if she did try to, the circumstances surrounding them did not allow the chance.

𝐴 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑑, 𝑎 𝑏𝑢𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑓𝑙𝑦, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑓

Eren is the bird, the scarf is the symbol of connection. But the butterflies...

Same color, on the same side (their left), and in the same situation where the Ackerman is looking at their host. It seems the blue butterfly is linked to the multiple timelines in the story. Could it be that Levi also has the butterfly since he is the only one who could save Mikasa in every timeline she creates whenever she chases after Eren? Like he already did in the manga (main) and Junior High timelines?

𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠, 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑠

Sometimes it sounds like "We'll make a mess of memories" instead. But either way, if the cabin dream is indeed an alternate timeline, then it can go both ways. Levi called out to Mikasa, and as a result, did not mess up the manga (main) timeline. Or Levi calling her back to reality messed up her newly made cabin timeline. Both to save her and to end the war.

Besides, who are the people who experienced the same kind of scars? Both physically and emotionally? Levi and Mikasa. Therefore, they are the ones who are suited to heal each other, especially when the war is over.

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑙𝑙, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙-𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑎𝑟 𝑇𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝑠 𝑊𝑒’𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑆𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑

As mentioned, Levi and Mikasa experienced the same kind of scars and trauma since childhood, fought all their lives, and carry the burden of their heritage and origins. They got entangled in the war brought about by the cycle of hate that never seems to stop. And they're getting old for this shit.

𝑊ℎ𝑦 𝑜ℎ 𝑤ℎ𝑦, 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑜ℎ 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝐷𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑚𝑒? 𝑊ℎ𝑦 𝑜ℎ 𝑤ℎ𝑦, 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑜ℎ 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝐴𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑢𝑝 𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑒?

Who else in the story mentioned the exact words, "Stay with me."?

It's obvious that Levi is calling out to Mikasa so that she won't give up on the fight to help him bring down Eren. "Are you giving up on me?" screams desperation. A little close-up here to prove the point.

𝐼’𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑒

Who did Mikasa actually wait for while literally being under trees?

Yes, it's Levi. She was supposed to distract the female titan so he can attack. But she was too amazed and she ended up staring dumbfoundedly while waiting for him to finish attacking. And ultimately wait for the opportunity to do an attack of her own.

And who actually held someone while being under a tree?

Honestly, I will never get tired of this scene, this moment, this screenshot.

𝑈𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑒 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛’𝑡 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Levi can't take Mikasa because she's always chasing after Eren and he knows how devoted she is.

In other lyrics, it says "I'll come take you" instead. And who always comes to take Mikasa? Rescues her from trouble and prevents her from doing anything foolish?

Yes.

#rivamika #levimika #levimikasa #levi x mikasa #mikasa x levi #levi ackerman #mikasa ackerman #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan final season #haventhoughts

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missnobodymadness · 7 months

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15, 2 and 9 for the "love your fandom" ask game maybe? :D

Hiii,

Sorry for taking so long but I only now had some time to come back to Tumblr. ^^' It was such an amazing surprise to come back and see your ask on my inbox, thank you sooo much. ♥

Alright, let's gooo!

"2 - a headcanon you weren’t sure about at first but have come to like!"

Since I can't really remember any AOT headcanon that would fit this question, I am going with the The Lion King fandom for this one, I hope that's okay. xD

At first I wasn't so sure because color wise they don't remind him that much, but I really started liking the headcanon where most of Zira's lionesses are actually Scar's daugthers, it would make some sense for him to keep trying to get a strong male heir that would look like him, considering that he chose Kovu exactly for that same reason, so they'd pretty much be failed attempts at getting the perfect heir and that's why they have the famous outlander nose and a thinner body type even after the final scene where they were already part of Simba's pride and were certainly not starving anymore. If we stop to take a look at Simba's lionesses on that scene we can also see that some have very similar colors to the outlanders, could they be their mothers? Who knows.

"9 - a ship that isn’t your OTP but that you enjoy"

Gonna get killed for this but...I kinda like Jean x Mikasa from AOT. I just don't want her to stay alone and sad forever, people can recover, people can fall in love again and Jean would probably be the only one willing to wait for her, we've seen how dedicated he can be to the ones he loves, of course it would take time, maybe years, but I don't see why it couldn't happen, in my opinion he is just what she'd need to feel better again. I don't think the ship invalidates Eren x Mikasa at all, they can happen at different times during the timeline.

"15 - the character that always makes you smile"

This one was hard for me and I decided that I can't decide between Hange Zoe and Anya Forger, they are both comfort characters of mine and as such are always able to make me smile, their energy is so contagious and it really makes wanna cry when Hange gets overly excited about things. T-T Anya is just too cute and precious for this world, I love her and must protect her from the world. T-T

#fandom asks #fandom game #aot #the lion king #spy x family

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strawhatsoraya · 2 years

Text

CW: Fluff and Angst. Some minor profanity. That is all!

A BADLY WRITTEN SUMMARY: (AU as in I aged up Eren and am pretending they never got to the basement for my sanity) The one were Eren is still struggling with sorting his feelings for reader, and has a hard time reaching out to build the kind of relationship he wants. A little angst, with a slightly fluffy ending.

prompt: "I hated you but..." was picked by, of course, @soleilnomoon. Thank you for keeping me busy! lol i hope you enjoy the short word count of this one.

/ Next Part /

He used to hate you, of that he was sure.

He loathed the way you smiled–all damn day–as if your throat wasn’t exposed at the edge of the knife, ready to strike down at any moment. He hated the way you looked at people, round brown eyes full of empathy and genuineness; the way the sun would warm them enough to turn into liquid amber at a certain slant of light.

He hated how he knew that fact; how he held on to it at night with sweaty hands to keep the monsters away–the ones clawing from the shadows under his bed.

He hated the easy way you laughed with Jean Kirchstein–him, of all fucking people–as if he had the best jokes you had ever heard in your little mundane life. He hated the way you laughed with your whole being; how the apples of your round cheeks would rise and make your eyes crinkle. He hated, especially, how he could still see the twinkle of life behind your lashes and how he sometimes wished you were laughing with him instead. How come you never laughed with him?

He hated it then, and hated it now, as he watched you do it all over again.

You and Jean were sitting close; too close, in Eren’s opinion. There was no need, and he pointedly ignored the space separating you to fit his pitiful narrative. He also ignored Sasha, currently stealing meat off his plate.

All he could think of doing right now was walking over. He had no reason, no excuse strong enough to do so, so he stayed still where he was; ass planted on the wooden bench of the dinner table, a grimace on his lips. He could hear Mikasa asking him what was wrong. He almost ignored her too, but felt guilty, and mumbled some excuse about being tired.

That last thing Eren was–was tired.

He was irritable. He was a wild animal trapped in a cage with a prey he wasn’t allowed to touch; starved, hungry for release but if he touched, took a bite of what he craved the most, the penalty was death.

Eren wasn’t unfamiliar with death. He grew up with her; watched her take her trophies as she pleased, leaving her signature scars in people’s minds. He had courted death more than once as he flew in the air with his comrades, swinging down to cut at the necks of Titans. Their teeths had gotten close, too close, way too many times.

Perhaps Eren would court death again tonight.

He takes a long drink from his cup, gulping and gulping, hoping it would drown out the beating heart clouding his senses.

Senseless. He was fucking senseless.

Muscular legs force him to stand up; silverware clattering on the table. A drink spills. Sasha cries about the wet dinner rolls but starts eating them anyway. Eren tears his eyes away from the scene.

He has little choice here; not enough time to waste.

His body propels him forward towards you. Your eyes widen at the sight of him coming closer. You never understood his animosity. His turquoise eyes so bright would make a chill come over you. You often found yourself shivering under his stare, wondering what he saw when he looked at you. What was his purpose? What was he looking for? What did he want to see?

You were never brave enough to ask, and he was never friendly enough to invite trust between you.

Wariness, caution, fear, anxiety. They were all things you felt and thought when the spirit of Eren haunted you at night. You thought perhaps, after you helped him during that one expedition, it would have brought you closer to him; to the person Armin and Mikasa loved. Instead he seemed a little meaner, a little more quicker to anger.

You had stopped trying to befriend him for a while now, so why was he here, standing before you?

“What is it?” you ask him and you lean slightly trying to see Jean past his torso. Eren shifts immediately, blocking your view.

“Can we talk?” he asks, his lips a stern line.

Your thick brows knit together. Teeth bite down on your bottom lip. This is an opportunity you had dreamed of. Now, you weren’t so sure. You vaguely hear Jean say something; his voice sounded strained and aggressive. Your hand reaches for Eren’s wrist.

“It’s fine,” you say to both calm Jean down and your racing heart. “It’s fine.” You stand up, not letting go of his wrist. You sense you’re being watched and as you glance over your shoulder you see Mikasa looking over you with a dark expression. You swallow it down and press forward, forcing your legs to move. “Let’s go outside then.”

For once, Eren doesn’t put up a fight.

He wanted to fight; this–it, the feeling of your small fingers around his wrist. He wanted to strangle the feel of calluses left behind on your palms by your intensive training. The same training that had broken so many, but not you. You with the odds stacked against you; your short stature considered by most a display of weakness. You made up for it with a tsunami force of determination. You had a chip on your shoulder; something to prove. He hated the way he could tell how it ate at you; how it often made you ask Mikasa for one more spar session, one more fight when the end result was always the same: you face first in the dirt, you with that pitiful look in your eyes he knew too well.

Anger and shame.

He saw that same look in your dark eyes as you spun around to look up at him.

Eren was grateful for the cool night air’s caress. It tousles through his hair, loosening locks from his half bun. It helps to ease the merciless heat pummeling his cheeks with fiery fists.

He hated the way you always looked at him; annoyed but expectant. He hated the way it made him feel guilty, that he couldn’t ease your doubts without letting go of his own fears.

He was a coward, and you a hopeless optimist.

“So,” you interrupt, tensing your jaw. You force the words out. “What is that you have to say that’s so important?” Your fingers curl into tight fists. They bump against fleshy thighs, toned from running. Running used to be your specialty. It was always so easy. You ran in your childhood, away from the horrors you couldn’t forget. You ran as you got older, from the burden of a grieving mother and her expectations. You ran from lasting relationships. You ran from yourself.

Maybe tonight, you wouldn’t run.

“I didn’t say it was important,” Eren retorts. His shoulders tense, his fists mirror yours. He is ready before he knows it, to knock you down if necessary. It isn’t his intention so his hands shake before he allows his fingers to flex and relax. Nerves flutter on fingertips and he wipes the sweat off of them on his trousers. “You shouldn’t read into things too much, but…”

You wait patiently, hands still balled into fists. Waiting, just like running, had become a speciality. You could wait a bit longer for him to complete his thoughts before you cuss him out and turn around.

“Why are you like this?” You ask. You didn’t wait. Waiting was a specialty you had practiced but curiosity was a beast of a burden. “I don’t get it. Why do you hate me so much?”

Why did he? Eren chews on the inside of his cheek. His weight shifts from one foot to the next. He is seeking the answers on each of your eyelashes, straight and dark. He tries to find the missing pieces of the puzzle on the roundness of your nose, the beauty mark on your jaw, the tiniest one on your chin, right below your bottom lip. He swallows, pushing back a prayer.

“I don’t….” he stops himself. Didn’t he? Did he? “I don’t dislike you.” It was the truth he would allow to be spoken out loud. It was comical, he knew, how he expected you to be satisfied with such a non-answer. He ran a clammy hand down his face before bringing it to the back of his neck where he massaged the tension away. “Actually, I think you don’t like me.”

You stutter through a response. You shake your head, curls bouncing with your actions. He watches them dance with a fluttering in his chest. Fingers itch to reach, and he shoves his hands in his pockets instead, lest you burn at the touch.

“I think, if you got to know me,” you say with a soft smile; equal parts shy and hopeful. Your brown hand reaches to him, grasping one wrist again. “You’d realize that I like you more than you think. Don’t you think we can be friends?”

Eren feels his skin burn and flake away where you touch. A lightness floats inside his body and he hovers, he’s sure, just above ground. This feeling, he knew he should hate. He knows he should hate the treacherous hand that reaches out to cover your own. He hates the way his fingers grip yours, to try to keep you close to him.

“I think maybe you’re right,” he says with a small smile of his own, cheeks crimson under the moonlight. You meet his eyes from under your lashes and his chest bursts.

He hated you, of that he was once sure, but now he didn’t know the truth at all.

#eren yaegar #eren jaeger #eren x y/n #eren x you #eren x gender neutral reader #snk eren #snk x you #snk x reader #snk fanfiction #aot eren #aot x reader #aot x yn #aot x you #aot fanfiction #eren yeager #shingeki no kyoujin eren #eren jeager x reader #eren fanfiction #eren fic

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lostbbygorl · 3 years

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LEVI ACKERMAN AS A YOUTUBER:

✨ It was Hange's idea, not Levi's

✨ Levi hates attention usually, so when Hange suggested he start a channel that millions of people can view anytime, he wanted to smack her

✨ But then Erwin and Mike kept harping about (Mike wanted to see him do a sparkly intro)

✨ He wanted his friends to leave him alone, so he grudgingly decided to make one video

✨ It was a rant video LMFAOOO

✨ He basically exposed all his friends names and the fact that they wouldn't leave him alone until he made a video

✨ Well, everyone liked that. I'm not kidding, he's like a 30 year old Joanna Cedia man rose to fame lightning fast

✨ Even though his video kinda lacked structure, it was FULL of meme potential and Gen Z did their thang so Levi's suddenly trending

✨ Levi is the only one from the group who doesn't use social media so when Levi and Hange show him that the whole internet is simping for him his eyes widen like in that scene where Eren suddenly titan shifted

✨ He saw that his comments under the video were mostly positive and that men and women alike were complimenting his good looks and he's super confused cause our rough baby is actually super soft and insecure and he doesn't understand that it don't matter if he ain't tall and tanned and that he's scarred, he's fine asf

✨ Well that was an ego boost and Levi realized he wants to make videos

✨ Levi is shy asf so his intros are super curt and he gets straight to the point

✨ His viewers love his dry, dark humor and unfiltered behavior

✨ Wattpad authors love his deep voice, and well, so does everyone else

✨ His viewers are a literal CULT and Levi's like Corpse Husband but with a face

✨ He's still wondering what the main focus of his channel should be so for the first one month of running it, he usually takes subscriber requests

✨ Levi isn't as ~mysterious~ as he likes to think he is lol. His subscribers figured out his undercover teddy bear personality as soon as he stuttered in the second video's intro. Also, all his psychology student fans kept posting body language analyses in the comment section. His second video was basically him reacting to the memes people made

✨ After that, he started making house tour videos and working/studying productivity tip videos and just YOLO cuz his fans eat whatever up

✨ Levi DEFO has an aesthetic house and bedroom. He's too tidy and classy not to

✨ With each video, you can see the editing getting better

✨ His following keeps growing and he finally opens up a social media account he barely posts on

✨ Levi finds meme culture annoying so the memes that people send him just get eyebrows raised at

✨ Levi TRULY started loving being a youtuber when he started getting paid cuz that check was SWEET (I mean he's a capricorn guys cmon)

✨ He reacts to memes and Gen Z slang cuz he has a mostly Gen Z fanbase and now he's getting trendier much to his friends surprise

✨ He starts saying "All facts no printer" and "spill the tea" unironically. He also likes the grunge and alt aesthetic

✨ You know what else comes with being a handsome edgy older youtuber? THIRSTY FANS

✨ Levi knows what fanfiction is but he doesn't know fanfic terminology so when Hange comes over to his house one day and starts laughing hysterically at "Levi x Reader 18+ smut" he's confused

✨ When Hange and explains and shows him the smut his soul leaves his body I-

✨ He reviews his smut very seriously on his channel the next day and the SMUT AUTHORS HAVE ALL DEACTIVATED-

✨ Levi isn't extremely fond of the way he's being sexualized but he's a grown man and he's just gonna take it though he hopes it'll stop. You know what Levi does like? FANART

✨ Levi finds it impressive that his young fans can use him as a source of creativity and that he's someone's muse. He makes it a habit to like whatever fanart he comes across on social media and leave an encouraging comment

✨ The first time Levi smiled on his channel was when he saw a chibi fanart of himself

✨ Levi doesn't really wanna do collabs initially but when a younger, more experienced youtuber suggested a collab he wasn't against it surprisingly

✨ The internet BROKE when THE Sasha Blouse made a video with Levi where they made dalgona coffee

✨ Levi didn't realize how big Sasha is till he saw all the comments on social media and he considers the collab with Sasha his first celebrity encounter

✨ Sasha and Levi end up becoming an unlikely friendship duo and fans LOVE the personality contrast (I love Levi and Sasha's interactions and I love personality contrasts so stfu Levi and Sasha's friendship >>>>>)

✨ It takes Levi at least a year to realize how big his impact is. He first realizes this when a little girl recognizes him in public and tells him all starry eyed that she started cleaning her room more after watching his videos and he's internally crying

✨ Levi also makes more friends because of this platform and Sasha isn't the only one. He surprisingly became fast friends with Eren, Connie, and Jean (AKA the kings of the gaming world), and he's on better terms with his cousin Mikasa ( A well known fashion vlogger) after he opened his channel

✨ He is now the father of younger, more chaotic youtubers and he honestly loves the light it brings to his life

✨ Has he changed after fame? Well yes and no. Levi is the same hardworking, introverted, sophisticated man he was before fame, he just grew better communication skills and has a wider friend group now

✨ He doesn't think he's above anybody though he has more confidence now, and he treats his fans very politely. He's super humble and anybody who has met him praises him

✨ Youtube brought only positive changes to his life and he doesn't express it much but he's very grateful to for his subscribers and fanbase

✨ He never knew that he'd actually like being surrounded by so many bright people and that he'd actually like broadening his horizons and making new friends. He's experienced many different things like playing horror games with Eren (he didn't flinch) and mukbangs with Sasha

✨ He liked each experience in his own way though he liked some less than the others

✨ After a life of gloom and loneliness, this is a nice change for him and he's quietly but warmly welcoming it. He feels accepted and he feel like he belongs after blowing up. People love him for his weird humor, scars, and brash personality. They want more of him and he's influenced them in a good way

✨ Levi goes to bed every night tired yet happy after his actual job, his job as a youtuber, and his many fan interactions

✨ And the money too of course BUT BESIDES THE POINT-

✨ Overall, his channel is super binge worthy and 10/10 content

✨ Do subscribe

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dead-dolphins · 30 days

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About Mr. Senator.

In Mr. Senator, there’s going to be this really important scene where a young Mikasa gets into an accident that leaves her with that famous scar on her face. Eren, being the kind and thoughtful gentleman that he is, immediately steps in to help her. This happens while Mikasa is still a teenager, so the whole thing is completely platonic, but it has a major impact on her (and hers only).

So, here’s how it goes down: Mikasa is in a bit of a predicament, maybe a fall or something similar, and Eren happens to be nearby. Without a second thought, he rushes over to help her. Eren doesn’t think twice about helping out—he’s just doing what he feels is right. He’s calm, collected, and super respectful, not making a big deal out of the situation at all. But for Mikasa, this moment is huge. She’s already had a bit of a crush on him, but seeing him act so selflessly and kindly really cements in her mind that Eren is not just some man but a genuinely good man. It makes her crush grow even stronger because she starts to see him as this ideal, respectful gentleman.

Meanwhile, Eren is totally oblivious to the effect he’s having on her. To him, he’s just helping out the daughter of his guardian—a damsel in distress, if you will. He’s just being his usual, decent self, not thinking too deeply about it. It’s kind of funny because while Mikasa is probably lying in bed that night, replaying the whole thing in her mind and feeling all sorts of emotions, Eren is just going about his day, thinking, “Glad I could help!”

So, it’s one of those situations where they both walk away with very different takeaways. For Mikasa, it’s a moment that deepens her feelings and admiration for Eren, while for Eren, it’s just another day of doing the right thing, totally unaware of how much more he means to her now. I think he will start seeing Mikasa in another light after a big, big event that actually starts the fic 👀

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emeren · 4 years

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sweet dreams- eren jaeger

pairing: eren jaeger x reader

word count: 870 (v short)

content warnings: SLIGHT MANGA CHAPTER 138 SPOILERS, other than that there’s none :)

notes: hey so i’ve been crying nonstop abt chapter 138, literally my heart is broken. i decided to write out this little angsty/fluff one shot to make myself feel better but i just ended up hurting more 😃 i hope you guys enjoy <3

SUMMARY: reader has a painful dream and eren comforts them.

to the boy who sought freedom, goodbye.

your eyelids are a heavy beast to tame; weighed down by the drowsiness of slumber. it’s as though they refuse to open, wanting to trap you in the horrifying dream world your brain has orchestrated. and somehow, it felt as though it’d been real life itself.

you jerk forward with a start, not quite sure where you are. all you can remember is the dead look in his grey eyes; the acceptance in his stare. it’s haunting and terrifying and consumes your emotions. your eyes are open, but everything is fuzzy. eren’s gone?

“bad dream?” a voice asks, clouded with an intangible concern. your breathing is shallow and deep as you turn around.

he is lit beautifully; warm afternoon glow illuminating his face. his dark brows are pulled down in worry, a book folded in his left hand. something about the scene is dreamlike itself; he leans against a tree as a soft breeze blows through his shoulder length hair.

you don’t recognize him at first. his face isn’t sunken with the death of thousands, nor are his eyes soulless and accepting. his skin is tanned and healthy, free of scars. his look of worry deepens. “why are you crying?”

you bring a hand to your face, heart impossibly heavy. your cheeks are wet with tears, a testament to the horrors you’ve just endured. you feel a waft of confusion as you look back to the boy. he’s leaning forward, bringing his hand up to wipe the tears from your face.

“eren,” you breathe, confirmation and reassurance as his rough thumb swipes at the skin. there’s a small smile on his angelic features. seeing him is like a gift from heaven.

your heart still hangs heavy for this boy; for the pain and suffering he endured in another life. his large hand engulfs your face as you begin to sob. is this real?

“hey, shhh, shhh,” he comforts, pulling you to his broad chest. you grasp at his shirt, desperately wishing for the feeling to be gone. “it’s okay, it’s okay. what was the dream about?”

you open your mouth to reply, but the events are escaping through your brain; determined to be a torment for you and you alone. “i... i don’t remember.”

eren chuckles softly, rubbing your back gently. he smells like sunscreen and peaches. you can no longer remember the horrible events from your dream, but the feeling lingers. eren guides your head into his lap, reassuringly scratching at your scalp.

“whatever it was, it’s over now,” he hums. you hold your hands to your chest, gazing up at him as he smiles down at you. peaceful and warm, nearly enough to drive the pain away.

“it was horrible,” you choke, trying to grasp the last details as they threaten to leave the crevasses of your mind. eren nods in encouragement, focused intently on you. “you were- you- everyone was dying.”

“hey, it’s okay. i’m as alive as ever,” he grins, a sight to charm even the most depressed of people. “we’re all okay.”

distantly you hear laughter; it’s hypnotic and melodious, a charming sound. you sit up, your eyes settling on a group of people. they’re running around, chasing each other with what appears to be water balloons.

you watch them for a moment; blissfully enjoying the summer warmth and freshness. connie has a water gun, chasing sasha as she ducks behind jean. armin dodges a sneak attack by a smiling mikasa. they laugh and squeal as though there isn’t a care in the world.

“see?” eren intertwines his fingers with yours. you feel your lips tug upwards at the sight of your friends. “we came here for a picnic and you got tired. decided to take a nap in my lap while i read.”

you look back at him, tears prickling at your eyes. he’s surprised by your expression, but you can’t contain the feeling of relief that’s washing over your body, stretching to every tip of your fingers. “i’m so glad.”

you close your eyes and relish the feeling. it smells like freshly mowed grass; you can hear the buzzing of a bee and the giggles of your friends. and eren is there, rubbing circles into the back of your hand. maybe everything is okay.

as you settle back into his lap, the pain in your heart begins to dissipate. everyone you love and care for so deeply is here and healthy, acting as normal teenagers should. eren leans down, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead.

“eren?” you ask as he pulls back. his eyes are on his friends in the distance, a look of adoration on his features. he hums in acknowledgement, still watching them.

“yes, pretty?” you smile at the nickname.

he looks back down to you, teal eyes glinting in the light. the way his soft hair sways gently in the wind soothing you even further.

“will you read to me?” you continue. the question causes eren’s face to soften. he nods tentatively, pulling the book up. you watch as the green leaves rustle.

“the choice for mankind lies between freedom and happiness, and for the great bulk of mankind, happiness is better....”

<3 <3 <3

#eren jaeger #eren jäger #eren yeager #eren jeager #eren jeager x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yaeger x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren fluff #eren jeager fluff #eren jaeger fluff #eren yaeger fluff #im so sorry about this #this hurt #aot #eren fanfiction

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yesokaythatsfine69 · 4 years

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The Beach (Levi Ackerman x reader)

Description: During the beach scene in attack on titan. I changed this scene a bit because I felt it could be more light hearted and more fun after the cut. So be aware that it may not be that exact scene (in terms of what gets said) but roughly the same idea.

Characters: Y/n, Levi, Hange, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Sasha, Connie

Pov: third person

Warnings: none, this is pure fluff and just chill vibes.

A/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEVI ACKERMAN! Hello! As of right now I'll be focusing the next several pieces on AOT. This is the third and the final piece I'll be writing about Levi. Feel free to request any Levi Ackerman writings at any time though. Have a good read!

Word Count:

Song suggestion: This has nothing to do with this piece but I've been jamming to Judas by Lady Gaga so if ur not a nerd listen to it.

*none of the Gifs used are mine, full credit goes to the maker

The dust that Scout's horses picked up enclosed around them, swallowing them up in a thick cloud of brown. The air was similarly thick around them.

Her hands were shaking, clutching the reigns of her horse, pulling them close to her chest. Y/n wasn't scared though. The things she'd experienced in the almost four years since she'd joined the scouts had changed what the concept of fear was for her. She felt tense- anxiety ridden. She felt like something was about to happen, and the way Eren spoke- it definitely was.

They passed a wall, and Eren's voice cut through the long silence. "I'm sure of it. This is the place where they turned the Eldians titan, which means just up there."

He beckoned them on, rushing his horse forward. Armin swallowed harshly, his eyes meeting y/n's for a beat. They shared a look, that displayed their mutual concerns before it broke.

Y/n had kept close to Armin, whose presence often calmed her. It was strange, but Armin never hid his emotions or disguised his fear (something her friends did so often.) And there was comfort in that. It made her feel less vulnerable.

Levi often teased her for that- but she knew he respected their friendship. Y/n looked to where he rode ahead of her. His hands were steady, expression focused. It unnerved her how he could be so calm.

She blinked away her focus, returning her gaze back to looking straight ahead. Eren led the group to what appeared to be a cliff, and when they reached the top...they saw.

The group seemed to all stop at once, realizing what they found. It was silent, except for the blowing of the waves before them. It was water- the ocean. They all stared, stunned.

Sasha and Connie had mutual expressions of open mouth wonder. Y/n just stared, aghast. Eren on the other hand looked unsurprised and almost bored.

One by one they slipped off the backs of their horses, most rolling up their pant legs and trodding into the water.

Y/n did a little dance in the water, laughing as Connie playfully splashed Sasha in the eyes. Sasha screamed in pain, "my eyes!" After she recovered, she splashed Connie back. Or tried to. At the last second Connie ducked and the salty sea spray hit y/n dead in the face instead.

"Sasha!" Her friend giggled sheepishly. Y/n tackled her into the water, the two becoming completely soaked. Connie chuckled at their antics, pointing his index finger at them with his right hand and keeping his left to his chest. The two girls shared a mischievous look which caused Connie's laughter to die out immediately.

"Take him down!" "Hiya!" Working in sync the two tackled him into the water. The three resurfaced and giggled at each other's soaked expressions. "It's so salty!" Jean was a few paces ahead of them and had just drank some of the water.

"Jean what the fuck. You really need to stop putting things into your mouth if you don't know what's in them." Y/n stood up, twisting her hair to relieve it of some water. Raising a brow, Jean leaned towards her. "Says the girl deep diving into it. Armin says there's nothing in here but salt anyway, and besides someone was bound to drink from here. I just saved them the extra hassle." Y/n flicked water at him. "How gallant of you."

Eren's monologue interrupted them then, they way he sounded close to tears, his voice creaking at the last sentence begged for their concentration. "Will we finally be free?" No one spoke, whatever light mood that existed now diminished.

"way to kill the mood Jaeger." Jean muttered, but he seemed just as solemn as Eren. "Don't worry, I'll lighten it up." Y/n shoved Jean down, and into the water. He landed with a surprised yelp and everyone turned, broken out of their private misery.

"Really y/l/n!" Jean spat, his cheeks dusted with blush. Y/n giggled, until she was cut off by Jean grabbing her and pulling her down into the water. "Shit!" She gasped out, landing in the water beside him.

"Are you serious! Jean, I just rang out my hair!" Jean opened his mouth to retort when sasha and Connie interrupted, shouting "Dog pile!" Jean and Y/n's eyes widened. "No!" "Wait-!" As Kenny once said, kaboom.

Now, all four of them were completely soaked, but none of them really cared. They bursted out laughing, each pointing at one another in amusement. The reflex seemed almost unnatural- it'd been so long since her last belly laugh. Connie, Sasha, and Jean felt similar and the tears they shed weren't just from their chuckles, but something deeper.

Y/n left the three to splash each other, waddling over to Armin, Mikasa, and Eren. Eren still looked off into the horizon but the tenseness in his shoulders seemed lighter. "What do you have there, Armin." She spoke softly to her friend, marveling at the shell he had gently lying in his palms. "Some sort of shell..." His gaze met hers. "I'm sure there have to be hundreds here." Y/n smiled.

"Did you think it'd be like this? Big, breezy, and beautiful?" Armin looked up, looking beyond Eren. "Maybe something close...I just never expected to actually see it...let alone feel it." They shared another look before they turned to Mikasa. She had gotten closer to Eren, but her gaze was in the water. She was kicking at it, her expression unreadable.

"hmmm." Y/n hummed, tapping her chin. She took off, running past Eren and to the left of him. "Hey! Y/l/n, don't go out too far!" Levi called after her. At the left edge, she stopped, bending down and searching fervently in the waters.

"There must be hundreds..."she mumbled to herself, brow furrowed in concentration. "Ah hah!" She straightened, a single white shell lying in the palm of her hand. She ran back, to armin, mikasa, and Eren. She skidded to a stop directly in front of Mikasa, who gave her an amused look.

Y/n dropped to a knee, sticking up her palm. "For my favorite Ackerman!" "Oi!" Levi grunted from behind her and Mikasa blushed. "Thank you, y/n." The young girl smiled, gently picking up the shell. "You are my favorite y/l/n." Y/n crossed her arms. "I'm the only y/l/n." Mikasa smiled a bit brighter.

Eren had turned towards them, snapping out of his gaze from the unusual commotion. He had watched the two interact and the way Mikasa had gently lifted the shell and just as gently cradled it caused the corner of his lips to upturn.

Y/n noticed. "I can find you one too, Eren. Although I'm afraid finding one as pretty as Armin's is impossible and thus out of the question." Eren softened and shook his head. "No, thank you, y/n." She stood up from her position, and was immediately wrapped in a quick hug from Mikasa.

"Oh! What's this?" Hanje lifted something reminiscent of a burnt rock from the water, gently rubbing her fingers over it. Y/n drew closer, allowing Hanje to explain all of the oddities she found. Y/n nodded along, only half understanding what her friend was ranting about.

Finally Hanje gasped with delight- cutting herself off. "there's more over here!" She pranced away from y/n, pausing several steps away and bending down to search for more.

Finally y/n turned to Levi, who had already been watching her. He seemed so out of place it was funny. His arms were crossed and he looked disinterested...but y/n knew that he was just uncomfortable. They watched each other, taking their differences in.

Really Levi couldn't believe how different two people could be. There y/n stood, a breeze sifting through her hair, her entire outfit completely soaked, and a stupid grin on her face. She was some brat- he'd admit it.

"You're going to get sick, y/n." She smiled, wading through the low tide to where he stood. "You'd love the chance to take care of me." "Tch, I deal with you enough as is." The two had shortened the distance between each other.

The wind ruffled his undercut. "It's a lot less scary than it looks." Y/n gently nudged him with her shoulder. "I'm not scared." Levi gave her a sharp look and anyone one else would've slinked away, but y/n wasn't anyone else- especially not to Levi.

Gently she took his hand in hers, squeezing it softly. He narrowed his eyes, the silver orbs twinkling against the sunset. He interlaced his fingers with her own though, his deep admiration for y/n often undermined his "tough guy" resolve.

Y/n smiled at him, "Okay old man are you going to roll up those pants or will I have to?" Levi sighed, grumbling under his breath as he bent down. "If I get sick from this-" she rolled her eyes. "Levi it's water. The thing you bathe in, clean with, drink. You will not get sick."

He pulled a sock off. "Tch, I once saw you find a piece of uneaten bread hidden behind books in the library, and watched you eat it without question. I don't believe anything you say about what's healthy and what's not, brat." Y/n helped him fold his socks neatly next to his shoes. "That was one time!" He paused. "And it's scarred into my memory."

Again, y/n rolled her eyes. However, the smile on her never even flinched. She grabbed Levi's hand and yanked him forward. He gasped, but y/n only sped up. "Oi, oi, oi, wait! You're going to fast, we'll-" They splashed into the water, splashing it up to their faces.

Levi's eyes were wide, and he seemed absolutely at a loss for what to do with himself. Finally he met her gaze, and saw how she looked at him. Levi felt his cheeks flush. "Tch, fine it's not as bad as I thought." He turned to leave, but she yanked him back to her.

"hey, hey, hey mateo, mateo." She pulled him so that his side was resting against her, he turned back to y/n. "Stay awhile." She said gently. Her smile had changed now, and Levi noticed. His shoulders relaxed. He realized now why this was so important to her. This could be the last chance they had.

Then she kicked water at him.

"Y/n!" She laughed and backed deeper into the water. "You may be humanity's greatest titan fighter..." She began to move her arms around wildly. "But I am humanity's greatest Levi Ackerman fighter." Levi sighed, unamused. "You got water on my pants!" He moved towards her.

"The target approaches, seemingly irritated." She backed away. "Tch, Seemingly?" Levi's hand balled into fists. "He's going deeper into enemy territory, what will y/n do?" "Y/n should run." Levi got closer.

He jumped at her, and she tackled him, the two landing into the water. Once again y/n became instantly soaked, and Levi was now in the same boat, wet completely from head to toe. "It is salty!" Levi gasped out, his arms still wrapped around y/n. "Did you think we were all lying before?" Y/n laughed, watching as Levi struggled to get salty water from his eyes.

He pulled his fist from his eye, finally looking at y/n. She was soaked, probably more than he was, but she was as radiant as could be, her eyes shining, her smile wide, and her hair blowing softly. He stared at her several seconds, lost in how beautiful she was. Sometimes he had a difficult time believing that someone like her could ever be interested in someone like him. "I love you." He clutched her tighter to him.

Her face became more serious, and she closed her mouth. Y/n gently put a wet thumb on his cheek. "I love you too, Levi." They stayed there, in that moment together.

"and yet I'm only your second favorite Ackerman." Y/n sighed, going to pull away, but Levi grabbed her and to her surprise he laughed.

"What's so funny?" Levi and y/n turned, Connie, Sasha, Jean, Hanje, Eren, Armin, and Mikasa all stood over them.

"None of your business, brats." Levi said, crossing his arms. The group shared a glance. "Oh, no, guys wait-" Connie, Sasha, Jean, Hanje, and Mikasa attacked, jumping to tackle them, splashing and creating a mini hurricane.

Armin and Eren watched, still standing. Armin was smiling, whilst Eren's expression still remained cautious. The tension he had carried moments before abandoned him though, and it seemed as though now for the small moment they had, they all realized- only now could they truly live it.

Today was today and that was all they had for certain.

"There's water in a place where water should definitely not be!"

"Don't make me drown you!"

"Who's foot is this?"

"What's gonna happen when we leave? Will we still be wet?"

"GODDAMNIT I KEEP SWALLOWING IT! WHY DOES IT BURN!"

"you all are no match for my skills- I am unconquerable!"

"Yeah, I'm never doing this again."

Armin turned to Eren. "Sometimes... sometimes I believe that it'll never get better than this." He took a breath and Eren put a hand on his shoulder. "Right now...I think...I think you may be right, Armin."

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A/n: hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this, feel free to request more Levi Ackerman or to give critism. Merry Christmas!

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#levi x y/n #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #captain levi #levi aot #levi x reader #levi attack on titan #aot imagines #aotc #aot x reader #aot memes #aot manga #aot headcanons #aotearoa #x reader #xreader #imagine #imagines #happy birthday levi

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blushing-titan · 3 years

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Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about chapter 138 again, and I came to a few conclusions. First and foremost, I’m surprised at the amount of Mikasa’s fans who are happy about the possibility of the cabin vision being an actual AU. Mikasa has been one of my favorite characters pretty much since the beginning, but I feel like - if the AU is real - it’s a huge step back for her progress and general well-being. Let me explain my point below - warning, it’s pretty long! I’ll be using manga panels (I obviously don’t own them, all credits go to the author!), and there will be spoilers.

My perspective on Eremika

I’m a firm believer that Eren and Mikasa’s relationship is a bit too unhealthy for Mikasa, at least in it’s current state - to me, it’s clear as a day that it’s way too unbalanced. Mikasa just invests more in it - it’s been shown countless times, both in the manga and anime, that Eren’s safety and well-being is her top priority. He’s on her mind most of the times and she constantly wants to be near him - she thinks of him as her safe place and home.

But what about Eren? He’s often irritated and suffocated by her overprotectiveness. He’s quite a proud person who doesn’t want to be constantly saved - despite generally needing it sometimes. In my eyes, it’s another imbalance - Eren wants to be the strong one, but since Mikasa is just naturally better at that, he constantly feels belittled, like it’s a form of rivalry.

On top of that, throught the entire series Eren has his own set of dreams and goals that doesn’t necessarily always revolve around Mikasa - all while Mikasa makes up her plans and goals solely around Eren. She even admits that all she wants is just to be at his side.

What concerns me too, however, is that Mikasa often puts Eren’s safety and well-being over her own - and it’s something that she realizes.

Sometimes, Mikasa’s friends act as a voice of reason, but when someone tries to raise any objections or concerns against Eren, she usually backs him up or tries to rationalize his actions. In the example below, Jean is concerned about the scar that Mikasa got after she got attacked by Eren (right after Eren lost control over his titan in chapter 12).

On top of that, Mikasa can be very passive, and even uncritical when it comes to Eren’s more questionable actions. There are times in which the latter can get a bit too blunt, or even straight up mean, but Mikasa either protects him, tries to justify his actions or is literally immobilized by them - like in the scene in which Eren insults her and proceeds to fight Armin, who’s been trying to back her up. Notice how Mikasa is unable to stop Eren from continuously attacking Armin (when, a reminder, the latter one stood up for her), but immediately jumps in to stop Armin from attacking Eren. You can clearly see that even she is shocked by her reaction.

We can also see her being in denial about Eren’s hurtful actions later on. She doesn’t even want to talk about it when Jean brings it up:

She’s also still concerned and worried about Eren a few chapters later, after he had done and stated that he’s about to do terrible things - even at times when her other friends were endangered. This time, it’s Armin who tries to act as a voice of reason.

Now, before we get ahead of ourselves:

Do I think that Eren doesn’t care about Mikasa, or even hate her (as he said)? No - she’s obviously extremely important to him and he was definitely lying during the table scene. Personally, I’ve never seen him having any romantic feelings towards her, but that doesn’t mean anything - love doesn’t always have to be romantic and I 100% believe that she’s still someone who he holds very dear to his heart. There are many moments that show that he’s also very protective of her, and that - along with Armin - she’s one of the most important people in his life.

But my point still stands - aside from that, the relationship is just too unbalanced to be considered healthy, especially for Mikasa. Both Eren and Mikasa see it in different light, which often cause them to collide. I just can’t help but feel like Mikasa sacrifices too much for it, too - she often ends up jeopardizing her safety, constantly worries about Eren and clashes with her friends because of it. To some extent, Eren may be doing some of these things as well - but let’s be 100% honest, never nearly as much as Mikasa does. He fiercly protects her when she’s in danger and backs her up when he agrees with her, but at the end of the day he has his own goals and opinions. He doesn’t fixate himself with Mikasa nearly as much as Mikasa does it with him - he’s never jealous of anything but her skills, meanwhile she's often on alert when he’s around other girls. In the manga, she’s displaying jealousy over Annie and Historia, in the anime we can add Hanji to that pool, while in A.O.T. Wings of Freedom she’s also jealous of Sasha and even freckled Ymir - all while Eren remains oblivious and - in these situations, rightfully so - annoyed.

We know that there are reasons why Mikasa treats Eren like this. He obviously saved her life when they were children, but it’s also because she was strongly traumatized by losing both her biological family, and then people who took care of her right after that. It’s only natural that she does anything in her power to not go through that again...

...but it’s important to question if the way her relationship with Eren goes - how she commits to it 100% and how it affects her - is really the best way for her to heal and eventually live a happy life. I believe that Eren himself saw that it was becoming too toxic for Mikasa - and, considering that he actually cares for her and knows that he doesn’t have all the time in the world, he focused on making her move on. In my opinion, that’s why he wanted to push her away during the table scene. It’s also why he tried to get rid of the scarf that Louise brought to him. Even if the execution is far from perfect, he still wants what’s best for her, so he tries to put an end to enabling her unhealthy coping practices. He wants her to live a long, happy life.

Soooo...how does “the cabin AU” fit into all of this?

The answer is simple - it doesn’t. It’s a huge mixture and repetition of everything that’s harmful about Mikasa’s obsession with Eren. It’s a confirmation that Mikasa would be able to leave the entire world for 4 years of constant lying to herself. To betray her friends, leave everything behind, act as if everything was going to be okay and, in turn, make it all worse for herself. Because let me remind you one thing - Mikasa will go on living after Eren looses to the titan curse...but what will she do from now on? Will she stay in the cabin forever, alone and with no one to talk to - no one to share the pain after saying her final goodbye to Eren? Will she come back to the war-ridden world and face her old friends - like Armin who must have been frantically looking for her and Eren? Some of these friends may not want to have anything to do with her after all that - some may be already dead. Maybe there’s no place to go at all.

In my opinion, Eren being okay with this would ultimately prove that he doesn’t care about Mikasa’s wellbeing - and, as I’ve said before I just don’t think that’s the case at all. On top of that, as stated in the beginning, it would serve as a regress of Mikasa’s character - she wouldn’t be able to overcome her weaknesses, which would only make her life harder in the long run. Therefore, I simply can’t accept this vision to be an AU. What do I think it was, then?

Mikasa believes in Eren’s good heart, despite all awful things he commits - she repeatedly says that he does it all for them - his friends...and yet she wants to believe that there must have been a way to not let it all happen. A part of her may be blaming herself, which is why she questions if she could have changed anything by giving him a different answer.

To me, it’s very obvious and I have to admit: I was horrified to see the amount of fans saying “If only she hadn’t family-zoned him, so many people would still be alive!”. Mikasa was NEVER to blame here and her answer should never have a force to change something like that. At the end of the day, it was Eren’s decision to go on with the rumbling, and I hate to see Mikasa (and the fans, too!) putting any blame for it on her.

In conclusion, I really believe that the vision was Mikasa’s daydream - most likely created as a coping mechanism since at this point she knew what was about to happen - what she had to do. Not any AU flashback, but rather a poor, traumathised girl trying to come to terms with the cruel reality - and ultimately reclaiming her strength. In her mind, she comes back to her safe place for a few moments, just to get a bit of comfort - a place where she and Eren live peacefully and safely. In fact, the panel below may suggest that she was dreaming about something similar ever since the training days:

I also believe that, at some point, Eren enters that dream - perhaps somehow through paths, or is sent there by Ymir. There, he once again reminds Mikasa that he wants her to live long, be free and forget about him.

I think in the end, Mikasa rejects that fake utopia, finally understanding that it could never happen and it was not her fault. She accepts the reality as it is and stops rationalizing Eren’s actions. She also comes to terms with her feelings towards him, but won’t let it cloud her judgement anymore. She will remember him and cherish these memories forever, but acknowledges that it has gone too far - she chooses humanity, the world and finally: a long, happy life for her. Just like Eren would want for her.

This time, Mikasa wraps the scarf around herself.

If you’re here, wow - thank you so much for reading, it means a lot! I’m sorry for any mistakes I’ve made while writing - English is not my first language and I didn’t really have anyone to beta-read this long wall of text xd Hope I made my points clear - and just to clarify, my text is not an invitation for any ugly Mikasa haters. As I’ve said before, she’s one of my favorite characters and I hope for the best for her - she’s been through so much, poor girl needs a break :C

#anti eremika #mikasa ackerman #eren jeager #snk 138 #snk spoilers #snk 139 #eremika rant #Mikasa shouldn't exist just for toxic shipping ok #snk theory #snk ending #snk leaks #mikasa

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koulakoukoula2003 · 3 years

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Honours (Levi x Reader)

Pairings: Levi x You / Levi x y/n / Levi x OC, Moblit x Hange

Trigger Warnings: mention of violence, swearing

Genre: Fluffy fluffffffff

Summary: (AU where nobody died in the Battle of Shiganshina) All the people behind the Walls celebrate the reclamation of Wall Maria, and the heroes of the Survey Corps are given honorary medals by their Queen. You and Levi are married and celebrate this together with a dance.

POV: 3rd Person's

A/N: This scene is part of my fanfic on ao3, you can read it here.

When Historia reached Eren, almost everybody noticed that Eren held onto her hand just a little bit more. (Y/n) had a feeling he must have seen something. A memory perhaps. The boy carried the Founder and Historia was of Royal Blood. Bringing those two in contact could be catastrophic. (Y/n) mentally noted to herself to talk to Eren and Erwin about this later.

But for now, a huge celebration was in order, and after all medals were handed to all heroes, the people rushed outside at the royal yard where the celebrations would take place. The people behind the walls were celebrating today. Wall Maria was finally their own. There was still lots of work to be done, but they had earned some rest.

The day was bright. The sky was clear. The chatter of people and the clacking sound of glasses and cutlery filled the air. Sasha, Connie and Jean were attacking the buffet, and Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were talking with Historia. (Y/n) couldn’t tell where Hange and Moblit were, but she had seen them kissing in some corridor of the Palace and she just knew that they wouldn’t be coming out any time soon. Erwin was chatting with Nile. Commander Pyxis soon joined them.

A hand slithered around (Y/n)’s waist and she turned only to see her beloved husband. He didn’t say anything at first. He just leaned in and pecked those pink lips of hers that he had so much missed. (Y/n) accepted that peck wholeheartedly. Her hand found his cheek, cupping his face.

“Levi,” She smiled. He was perfect. The green medallion rested on both around their necks. His white shirt could be seen from beneath his green Survey Corps trench coat. His raven hair fell messily on his forehead and those eyes made of steel looked so tenderly down to his beloved wife.

Levi caught her hand in his own. Rough, warm fingers wrapped around her own and he brought her hand to his lips, placing kisses at the back of her knuckles. “Dr. (Y/n) Ackerman,” He mumbled, proudly, her newly earned title. His breath brushed warm against her fingers and she giggled. “My wife,”

He pulled her tightly against him. (Y/n) buried her face in his neck and she shut her eyes. A smile spread on his lips as she pressed her cheek on his shirt. His (Y/n) had achieved so much. She was so brilliant, she had figured out unimaginable things. And now here she was, a Doctor. A title that she should have earned so many years ago. He had watched her grow into this ever since they were children. How bright her (e/c) eyes would shine in excitement as she’d spur out biological bullshit, all day, every day. Sometimes even getting on his nerves and he knew she was doing it on purpose. His (Y/n). So brilliant she was. So perfect.

She could tell he didn’t care whether there were any people around. She couldn’t care less about it either. She breathed him in. His hand continued holding onto her own. He guided her hand on his chest on top of his trench coat and his other arm was still tight around her.

(Y/n) sighed blissfully. She could feel the weight of his cheek pressing down on her temple and his breath travelled down her cheekbone, her neck. She pressed another kiss, and another, leaving a trail of soft kisses all the way up to his chin.

He looked at her, and caught her eyes in his own. Her lips were parted, pink and soft. He looked down at the wonderful plush skin that he hadn’t bitten two days now. His (Y/n)’s eyes rested on his lips and he instantly knew what she wanted. And he gave it to her. He’d give it all so long as she wanted it.

Levi leaned in and he kissed her soft and slow. He wasn’t planning to indulge her with anything more than a gentle press of his lips against her own. But he couldn’t help it. Her tongue met his lips and he could do nothing but part them and allow entrance to the sweetest taste that he had ever tasted. His hands both slipped around her. One found her back, pressing her closer and he only deepened the kiss and his (Y/n) let out that soft whimper that made him numb every time.

His fingers clutched on her clothes. He loved his (Y/n). Way too much.

But for the sake of being in public, he restrained himself and forced himself to pull back. He cupped her cheek and met those mesmerised, (e/c) eyes. She looked so lost and hazed and -oh, how wonderful she looked- she was lost and lovestruck for him. That wonderful woman was his and sometimes it sounded unbelievable.

His (Y/n) buried her face back in his neck and he held her tightly against him. A smile spread on his lips but he hid it in her wonderful hair and finally, their attention could fall somewhere else other than themselves. The sweet melodies of the orchestra reached their ears and he noticed how she turned and looked at the couples that danced in an open area in the royal yard.

The grass was soft and a lively green beneath their feet. The royal garden was indeed something marvellous to look at. (Y/n) realised she hadn’t looked at it up close no matter how many times she had passed through. But her gaze was still focused on the couples and he knew what she wanted.

“Do you want to dance, (Y/n)?” He asked. He could never forget the first night he danced with her.

He was a twenty-three-year-old young man the first time he learned how to dance for the sake of a job. His twenty-two-year-old (Y/n) -back then- had taught him, in that dirty little yard in the Underground. Isabel had yet to join their group. Seven years ago.

(Y/n) was so flustered the entire time, but he couldn’t blame her. He knew for a fact that (Y/n) hadn’t been that close to a man before. If she had been, he would have chopped that man’s hands off and he would have slit his throat. He never really knew why he was like this. So overprotective of her. Alas, he would’ve been nowhere near to where he was if it wasn’t for her smart plans. Her brilliant strategy that always led the jobs that they ran to success.

“S- So, according to the book I stole yesterday…” (Y/n) squinted her eyes as she fumbled through the wrinkled pages of the black leathered book. “…you’re supposed to put one hand on your partner’s waist, and you would hold her one hand in your own with the other,”

Levi nodded at the instructions. He hated this. It was an easy job. They had to abduct the eighteen-year-old bratty daughter of a nobleman. But he hated it because to abduct that blonde, honey-eyed brat -according to Furlan’s research on the matter- (Y/n) had the stupidest idea of having Levi using his charms to lure her into a trap. A ball was to come in that nobleman’s house and Furlan had managed to get Levi an invitation.

And all that Levi had to do was learn how to waltz. It was, honestly, something he never thought he had to do. But it was still a job and a promising one. Furlan was sitting by the steps of the house that they currently resided in in the Underground. (Y/n) was in a dark grey skirt and a white shirt. Her hair messily fell on her shoulders and she let down that book on the cold, stone floor of their yard.

“Alright, so…” (Y/n) approached him and she couldn’t understand why she had that comfortable uneasiness in her stomach the closer she got to Levi.

Trembling, nervous fingers caught his arm and settled it on her waist. Her other hand reached for his own and her fingers sunk in his. His arm tightened firmly around her waist and his fingers were so warm around her own. Now they were so close. So damn close, she could feel his breath landing warm on her lips. Those silver eyes met her own and the heat on her cheeks was almost unbearable.

(Y/n) was more than aware that she must’ve been redder than a tomato. Her hand was far too shaky and uneasy on his shoulder. She could feel the scar of a wound that she had stitched up for him a few days back. She could feel the texture of the muscles beneath his white, buttoned shirt.

“Is this correct?” He asked and finally snapped her out of that storm of thoughts and that embarrassment that just wouldn’t go away.

“Y- Yeah! P- Perfect!” (Y/n) stuttered and she cursed herself mentally.

Her bright red cheeks, her cold, trembling, uneasy hands and her tongue that stumbled on her words. It was far too obvious she wanted this. And something in his eyes told her that he wanted it too. But then she scolded herself mentally. She wasn’t some rich daughter of a nobleman, blonde with bright honey eyes. She didn’t have perfect creamy skin nor a perfect plush body with all the right curves. She was an imperfect woman with far too many flaws and far too little experience on the subject.

But Levi… Levi was an experienced man. He had seen and dealt with far more perfect women. Women so much beautiful, (Y/n) could never stand a chance against them. She couldn’t be something more for Levi, and she knew it.

Oh, darling- Now, she had become his all. His precious little (Y/n) that he’d take all the bullets for her. He couldn’t deny it. Ever since that day, it lingered in the back of his mind. Could she ever love me? And there she was now, clutching onto him like a needy, touch-starved little kitten, that craved for his love and his affection and his attention. His touch, his kisses. She had it all. She had always had it all.

(Y/n) lifted her head off his shoulder and she giggled. That same bright blush appeared on her face, just like back then. If only he knew back then that his little (Y/n) had always had eyes for him and him alone. She drew on her lower lip with her upper teeth cutely.

“You’re not afraid I’ll step on your toes?” She asked playfully.

His hand reached for that strand of hair that had been falling on her forehead, and he tucked it behind her ear. “You taught me how to dance, my sweet,” He reminded her and she giggled as her mind went back to that day. It had been seven years, and so many things had happened during that time. Now they were married. Now they wanted their own little house and little brats of their own.

“Alright then. Waltz with me, Mr. Ackerman,” She said with a bright smile that spread across those delicious pink lips.

He brought her hand to his lips and he pressed a tender kiss on her knuckles. “As you wish, Mrs. Ackerman,”

A/N: Hope you liked it!!! Feel free to reblog and comment below to lemme know what you think!!! Thanks for reading!! 🥰

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot #levi ackerman #leviackerman #fluff #levi x oc #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi x you

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