#is it scrumpt you/us..

[blond-jamesblond]

*chomps*

paris n1

[chradi]

Your Honour, can I scream? Be honest, can I let out a guttural scream? In the court? Right now?

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

I miss the 2010s era when 'beauty hacks' were shit like 'use a bit of your lipstick on your cheeks as a substitute for blush, and then the colour will match!' and 'here's a 20 minute youtube video on how to style the same flannel shirt 20 different ways so that you can wear one shirt with more outfits'

Now 'beauty hacks' are shit like: 'here are the 20 different products you need for summer or you will look old (derogatory) by next year' and 'you need these 30 mirco trends from Shein or your life will be ruined'

[septembersghost]

Speaking of tags, I've always wondered, do you type up all your cute quote tags on every post or do you have a very elaborate quick tags system set up in xkit? (Iirc you mentioned using Tumblr on an ereader not desktop though so i wasn't sure xkit even works for you?)

i type them up, xkit only has one set of quick tags saved and they are for (you'll be shocked) dean, and even then i don't always use them because i vary which tags he gets at times! xkit does not work on my kindle, which is what i'm often using when i'm browsing on here (and i answer messages on it a lot too, even though typing them on a keyboard is easier), but i set up my queue on my laptop because i cannot sort through things on there at length (also the tumblr app no longer works on it, so to open any mobile tumblr links that don't go to the browser, i have to switch devices or they won't open lmao). it hasn't been too bad because tumblr saves tags, so i'd type in the first words and they'd pop up, but it decided to FORGET EVERYTHING this week, which means i've been doing it from memory again. i just consider it my very minimal mental exercises 😂🥴

[circusofclowns]

a hinch feature AND charles on pole, god bless america it loves me

[dumplingsjinson]

List of “not-so-random suggestive and non-suggestive” prompts 

“How was your sleep?” “Mm.. It was good. Better.” “Better how?” “Better because you’re here.” (THE WAY I GOT SO FLUSTERED WTF)

“That’s my girl/boy,” Character B murmurs in a hushed voice, stroking their fingers through Character A’s hair while Character A rests their head on their chest, trying to catch their breath. (THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT INTERNALLY, THE AUDACITY HE AUDACITIED??? WHAT THE FUCK??? EXCUSEEEE MEEEEEE??? BTW, SIR, HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS IN THE MORNING-)

“Fuck, you turn me on so much with the noises you make,” Character B groans, thrusting their hips up into Character A’s and Character A whimpering softly at that. (Okay so I added the fuck at the start because it’s hotter this way bUTTTT WKGKSKFS PLSSSSS I JUST- OH MY GOD, I think I just realised that dialogue to me is SO IMPORTANT LMFAOOO)

“There are two hot things in this room right now: you, and the temperature.” (LET ME BREATHE, DAMNNNN) 

“Mmm, I’m gonna hog the bed so you can’t get on,” Character A murmurs, laying sprawled out on the bed. “That’s fine, I can just lay on you,” Character B says, making their way to the bed. “…Are you calling me a bed?” Character A questions as Character B gets on top of them, careful not to crush them under their weight. “Yeah, you're my bed,” Character B murmurs, snuggling close to Character A. (FUCKCKKCKXKDKKSKGKAKD HE’S JUST OUT HERE FLIRTING TO THE MAX WITH ME AND LEAVING ME SPEECHLESS TF)

“I told you my bed’s cozy,” Character B says, chuckling as they make their way over to Character A, who’s snuggled up under the covers. They pull the cover back and climb into the bed next to Character A, wrapping their arms around them. “And now it’s even cozier,” Character B murmurs into Character A’s neck. “Because you’re here?” Character A questions playfully. “Yeah,” Character B answers.

A laughter filled tickling play fight session somehow turning into them making out, turning into Character A straddling Character B, head thrown back in pleasure as they grind their hips against Character B’s while Character B holds onto their hips, thrusts matching the momentum of Character A’s movements.  

Spending way too much time tickling each other, peals of laughter coming from them both as they both try to attack each other’s sensitive spots. (His laughter is so cute AND I REALLY MISS HIM PLS WJDSK)

Morning cuddles and kisses as sunlight spills into the room.

“I’m gonna fuck you so good once we get there, yeah?” (MY HONEST REACTION WAS LITERALLY “???” I JUST?? WHAT?? SINCE WHEN WAS HE- AND HIM SWEARING? HOT HOT HOT HOT WKGKAKS)

Character A taking Character B’s hand into theirs while they’re driving. “You can drive with one hand, right?” they ask with a little grin, and Character B chuckles and nods. “Of course I can.” (HIM DRIVING WITH ONE HAND IS SO HOT BYE)

Character B guiding the speed of Character A’s hips as Character A grinds against them. (can he PLEASE manhandle me-)

“Okay, I’ll let you tickle me wherever you want if you give me one kiss.” (He lied a few times AHAHA, dodged my attacks instead after I gave him his kisses bruhhh) 

Character B lending their clothes to Character A since Character A’s staying the night. (The way I smelled like him AHHHH)

The soft “yeah?” Character B would mutter in response when they’re messing around with Character A and noises would fall from Character A’s mouth, involuntarily.

Stopping their play fight every now and again to kiss each other. 

Character B flirting with Character A and Character A not knowing how to respond other than half groaning and half laughing and calling them insufferable (affectionately). (Like I said, I’m romantically constipated-) 

Character B laughing every time Character A calls them annoying and insufferable whenever they flirt with them. 

Character A leaning in to kiss Character B… And then using that opportunity to tickle them when Character B’s guards are down. 

Them just laughing with each other at the dumbest shit until they’re out of breath; finding comfort and joy in each other’s company. 

Character A teasing Character B with how ticklish they are on certain spots. 

Character B tugging at the hem of Character A’s top, wanting to take it off, but Character A shakes their head and Character B immediately respects that by backing off a bit. (I’m including this because I don’t think people understand that any signs of no means no. Some people need to take notes for real)

“So… Are you going to stay over tonight?” “…Mm, maybe next time.” “You always say next time, though.” (EWLKNFWELN He really wanted me to stay, and I clearly folded so um pwnfewklnf) 

“I’m sorry if I’m like… Slow with all of this? I’m not experienced with any of this, and I don’t know what I’m doing. And I don’t think I’m ready for… You know.” “And that’s fine. Like I said, we’ll take it slow; we’ve got all the time in the world to get comfortable with each other, hm?” (WHEN I SAY I WAS GOING WEKJFNEWJKNEWFLN WHEN HE REASSURED ME, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AHHH)

Character B climbing back into bed after taking their morning shower to get more cuddles in with Character A before they have to go to work.

“You can just change in here if you want.” (WO4HKLWFN THIS FUCKING MAN LMFAOOO, the way I didn’t listen and went to the bathroom to change because I’m still feeling too embarrassed to change in front of him even though he’s kind of seen me topless before)

Hugging each other a little tighter, and Character A mumbling, “God, I really don’t want to leave” before they part ways.

“The way you keep running around in my mind everyday… How dare you?” Character A mumbles. “Well, is there a problem with that?” Character B questions with a chuckle. (I’m bold for this one, praise me LKNEFKLNWG)

The constant check ins from Character B, to make sure Character A’s all good and well. (every prompt list has this because it’s something I’ll always fucking harp on about lmao)

Character B grasping Character A’s wrists so they’d stop attacking their ticklish spots, pulling them in for a kiss instead. (He did this SO MANY TIMES AND FAILED SO MANY TIMES AHAHA, I’m a sneaky menace) 

Character A pulling the Spiderman kiss on Character B while Character B’s lying down. (I WANNA KISS HIM MORE FUCKSLKFNES’F)

Character A waking up in Character B’s clothes and in their bed, hair all mussed up and sporting a faint mark on their neck. (I think I uh… I think I like having marks on my neck?? Made by him, specifically, IDK wpeofnew;nf)

Get home safe! Love you lots and lots, Character B texts Character A. (THE WAY I SMILED WHEN I SAW HIS TEXT WHILE HEADING TO THE STATION AHAHA, it wasn’t even ten minutes since we parted and he sent me this and I was fangirling about it to my friends AHAHA) 

“Aren’t you going to get up now? You gotta get to work,” Character A says, poking Character B’s side. “Mmm, five more minutes,” Character B murmurs, pulling Character A closer to them. (HE’S SO CLINGY AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH AHDFOEKNF)

Character A realising they might actually be falling in love, slowly but surely, with Character B. (YEAH SO THIS IS A REVELATION AND A HALF AND IDK HOW TO FEEL ABOUT IT) 

[iamred-iamyellow]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ je t'aime

♥ masterlist

♥ pairing: charles leclerc x fem!singer!reader

♥ smau - fluff

♥ a/n: here's some more smau while I work on the last part of the folklore series lol (none of the pictures are mine, all were found on pinterest)

liked by oliviarodrigo, taylorswift, jackantonoff and 658,892 more

yourusername I feel incredibly honored to be featured on the tortured poets department. thank you @/taylorswift <3

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taylorswift <3

*liked by original poster*

user6 A FEATURE???

user7 ~you look like Taylor Swift~

jackantonoff come sing with bleachers now

yourusername JUST SAY WHEN

user5 💗

user8 Y/N AND TAYLOR COLLAB THIS IS NOT A DRILL

user1 now we just need her and liv

user8 and gracie

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liked by charlesleclerc, arthurleclerc, and 349,673 more

yourusername @/charlesleclerc wanna write a piano piece for my next album?

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charlesleclerc lets make it happen

oliviarodrigo goals

user12 how does he have time to write songs, own an ice cream business, AND be a professional athlete?

user8 ?!?!?!?

user7 taylor and now CHARLES??

user14 I'd literally pay to see this

user9 this is straight out of a fanfic

user2 right??!!

user1 unrelated but you're stunning

user3 THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT-

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

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liked by charlesleclerc, tatemcrae, gracieabrams and 1,340,875 more

yourusername sixteen days is out now! special thank you to @/jackantonoff my amazing producer and @/charlesleclerc for writing je t'aime with me

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tatemcrae ITS SO GOOD

yourusername THANK YOU TATE ILY

charlesleclerc how about a full album next? 😉

yourusername 👀

user6 THE WINK-

user12 oh they're so in love

user9 don't tease us

user8 when are we going to talk about the lyrics in je t'aime???

user7 sixteen days... isn't charles' number 16?

user2 they're leaving crumbs

user4 I'm going full inspector gadget, national treasure, sherlock holmes right now

user3 this album is amazing

user18 JE T'AIME IS SO GOOD

user17 traffic and we couldn't stop are my favorite

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

time skip - one year later

liked by yourusername, arthurleclerc, and 506,723 more

charles_leclerc happy one year mon cheri ❤️

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yourusername I love you <3

charlesleclerc je t'aime

user6 WAIT ONE YEAR?

user4 wait that means they've been dating since their first song together

user7 they've been dating this whole time???

user8 they're so cute

arthurleclerc does this mean I get free tickets to your concert

yourusername no

arthurleclerc I'm literally the one who got you two together

yourusername my extra ticket goes to leo

arthurleclerc fair enough.

[vampiric-tempt]

Hello!! I love stories soooo muuchh >^<

Since it’s that time of year, how would Smoke, and other mk1 cast of your choice react to being in a haunted maze with the reader?? TYYY🎃🎃🎃

↳˳❝ mk1 cast in a haunted maze☾⋆｡° Pt. 1 🎃

✦ headcanons w/ liu kang, kung lao, raiden, lin kuei brothers, johnny cage, kenshi takahashi, shang tsung, havik, & syzoth

a/n: My brain was thinking really hard on how they'd actually be in a haunted maze and this is the best I came up for the first half! Part 2 will include the mk women too!!!

Liu Kang ➤ He finds the attraction somewhat amusing. However he does not find it scary. Being a god has trained him to become wise and undeterred to such things, but he does enjoy your company and how you push him from behind so he could lead. It even boost his ego a little, feeling your hands cling to him with a small smile on his face.

Kung Lao ➤ He talked a big game, claiming that he'd protect you and that you can cling to him. However, deep down inside he is actually afraid. Will he show it or admit it? Probably not, but his hand does clench whenever a scare actor jumps out. When you guys reach the end, he puffs out his chest. "See babe? Wasn't scary at all."

Liar.

Raiden ➤ He was pushed to the front and admitted he was a bit nervous. He does get scared, but is extremely nice about it. Saying things like "Woah, you really got me there!" or "That costume is really. . .realistic." And he's okay with people clinging to him, he feels better knowing that you can be safe around him. Raiden is a sweet boy so he really enjoys the concept of Halloween, he finds it very fun and a great way to hang out with others.

Bi-Han ➤ He is. . . unamused. His face is grumpy throughout the whole thing and when people try to scare him, he just kind of stares with a raised brow. He charges through the maze without an ounce of fear, dragging you behind him because he wants to get this whole thing over with.

"Did you have fun?" You ask him.

"No."

Kuai Liang ➤ Like a father who finds it fun, but isn't really scared by it. He'd laugh in amusement every time someone jumps out and he has an arm protectively around you. He's heard of Halloween before, but never really experienced it in his younger days, so truthfully, he liked it when you dragged him along to the event. Of course, you did it only to use him as a shield, but Kuai Liang was okay with it.

"Are these truly supposed to scare people?" He'd ask, grinning at you.

Tomas Vrbada ➤ Took some convincing to get him to even go in. He tried his best to make excuses because yes, he was afraid, but more of Bi-Han's opinion. However, Kuai Liang told him it was okay and to have fun. So it resulted in the two of you both clinging to each other throughout the whole thing, screams leaving your throats every time something happened. Even though Tomas was scared shitless, he enjoyed the absolute thrill it gave him. He never got the chance to enjoy the simple pleasures of just being scared and having fun so he loved it in the end.

Johnny Cage ➤ "You go in first." He says.

"No, you go in first."

"You're being a pussy."

"Says you."

You and him ended up going in at the same time faking confidence and ended up clinging to each other in fear. You guys screamed the loudest screams you've ever scrumpt (Ik this is not a real word) and even ended up trying to push open a pull door. The scare actors were very entertained by you two to say the least.

Kenshi Takahashi ➤ He can't see, but was happy to be there as you helped him walk through the maze. He did get spooked by the random sound effects and louds screams they did so being blind didn't make him miss out on the maze entirely.

In the beginning though, he thought it was childish, saying "Really? You want me of all people to go in with you?" But he had fun nonetheless. He didn't outright say it though because he did not want to seem soft.

Shang Tsung ➤ He thought it was a waste of time, childish, and stupid. Did he go in though? Reluctantly, he did. He would get scared, but would be irritated by it. Huffing like the sassy man he is and rolling his eyes every time they managed to spook him.

"That was ridiculous, but the contraptions in there did give me some great inspiration."

. . .yeah, please don't ever show him the "Saw" films.

Havik ➤ An absolute menace. He laughs every time they try and scare him and sometimes he screams back just to see if he can spook them too. Most of the time he does because he not only screams, but tears off his limbs to terrify them even more.

"Earthrealmers are scared so easily." He chuckles in the most villain way possible.

Loves it because all he can hear are the screams of people and the decorations were pure chaos. Although he is a little upset that they aren't real. Why can't you just use real human corpses and skeletons? They're easy to get. . . to him at least.

Syzoth ➤ He was always very aware of his surroundings so don't blame him if he's a bit defensive the entire time. You had to reassure him that they wouldn't actually attack him and even if did understand, he'd still remained cautious. Even so, the maze did manage to spook him several times. Eventually, he eased into the concept of the holiday and began to enjoy himself. It was also a perfect place for him to be in his natural form, everyone complimenting him on his "costume". It made the zaterran happy as he gazed at the decorations in curiosity and awe.

╰┈➤ masterlist

[gem-morey]

Snow squeezed his hands again and it was like she'd reached into his chest and squeezed his heart.

The words were so soft and so kind...Gem wasn't even sure what to do with them. She was right. It was a wonderful thing to not have to worry. He wasn't even sure what to do with himself, now that he didn't have to worry so much. Now that he could stand near Snow and not have to think about his fire. It was always the first thing in his mind. It had to be.

But now--the first thing in his mind was Snow.

Which was how it should be. As much as it embarrassed him and made him red around the ears--he wanted to be thinking about Snow. How he could make her smile the way she was smiling, all the time.

"I don't know how much I believe that," Gem said, though playfully. It was somewhat true. After all, he thought about a lot of things he wanted to do with Snow...but holding hands really wasn't one of them. Maybe because it was underrated.

He was starting to believe that part, as he looked down at their hands. Experimentally, he twisted his wrists, marvelling at the way Snow's hands moved too. Their fingers tangled together, clumsily at first, but then fit--one folded between the other. He'd never done that before, but he'd seen it in the movies. He couldn't help the way it made him smile.

There was also a little furrow between his brow as he thought. It reminded him of something...

"You think that's why they call it a finger joint?" Gem said with a little chuckle glancing up at Snow. "They look just like this. I only just realized..."

@lady-snow-flower

Patience is a Virtue 🔥[Snow Quartz]

[sameschmidtdiffname]

I was wondering if you could do a fic with Mike Schmidt x fem!reader and the quote “can I stack donuts on it?” I apologize in advance 😭

THE FUCKING SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I GOT THISSSSSS BITCH YOU GOT ITTTTTT

Cherries & Cream

Mike Schmidt x AFAB!Reader

Summery: It's a modest holiday. Spent indoors, soft music on the cassette player... oh, and a collection of bad ideas snowballed into a day of sticky situations

Tags: No use of Y/N, author has fucking lost it, comedy, Valentine's Day fic, mentions of failed masturbation attempts, mentions of inappropriate use of lightsabers and water snakes (I SAID AUTHOR HAS FUCKING LOST IT- DONT ASK, JUST READ, IT AINT THAT BAD!), sex toys, handcuffs, sex dice, pre-established relationship, food sex, blowjob, facial, Mike gets restrained like we all know he wants to be.

Notes: I'm not apologizing for shit.

                     ▪︎◇{¤♧■♧¤}◇▪︎

"These are ridiculous questions."

"Oh, come on. Don't be a sourpuss," I say. Cards are scattered around the small box on our bed, both of us long deciding we'd clean up later.

"What does it say?" I ask him, leaning forward. I'm straddling his chest, my arms crossed against mine, dressed in nothing but one of his shirts. His hand on my hip is halfway under the black material, his pointer finger twisting the old cotton around his digit. His other hand holds a dark purple card that he rolls his eyes at before shifting them to focus on me towering over him.

"It doesn't even apply to you," he says.

"And how do you know?" I say smugly.

"Because I've sucked your dick and it's not big enough to apply," he says

"What? Give me that." I snatch the card from his hand, ignoring his laughter as he shifts his hand to rest on my other hip, rubbing soothing circles into my skin while I read.

'What's the weirdest thing you have ever stuck your dick in?'

A short laugh escapes me, a bit louder than it should be with Abby sleeping peacefully down the hall.

"I'm waiting," Mike jokes, smiling up at me with his lips twisted into a smug expression of sarcasm.

"I mean, I stuck a toy lightsaber up my snatch once," I say casually.

"What?" He bellows, descending into a fit of laughter so grand his chest is rattling underneath of me, making my face bloom with blood in embarrassment.

"I was fourteen!" I say quickly in my defense. This doesn't help my case, making him cackle loud enough I grab a pillow to shove onto his face to muffle his fit. He grabs my wrists before it can descend, holding them up as he wheezes.

"Oh, Qui-Gon Jin! You're my only hope!" He relaxes his grip slightly, allowing me to stiffle his incessant noise.

"That was Obi-Wan, and I liked Darth Vader!"

His hands shove the pillow away from his red face, eyes teary and judgemental.

"He's burnt!"

"It was the vibe! Mysterious, dark, and that voice!" I protest. Mike makes a pitiful attempt at the sounds of Vader's breathing through his mask, muddled with spit from his laughter. "James Earl Jones has a handsome voice!"

"It's just so hot," Mike cackled.

"Mike."

"Nothing can hold a candle to it."

"Michael."

"Makes me go-" a crude imitation of lightsaber noises is the last thing Mike can communicate before I'm slamming the pillow down on him, making him laugh harder and block his face from my playful blows as he begs for mercy.

"You're a dick!"

"You'd stick yours in one of those- those-" as he regains his breath and I lessen my attacks, he snaps his fingers, one hand slapping gently against my thigh for thought.

"Oh, you know. One of those fucken- the uh..." He makes a jerking motion with his snapping hand, his eyes rolling up to the ceiling like the answer is written on the spot where some poster used to be.

"A hand?" I ask, crossing my arms and glaring down at him.

"No. One of those toys that had like water in them and you could like- I don't know what the point of them was, some sensory thing. There was like water, maybe fish or sparkles stuffed inside," he describes, gesturing his hand as he speaks.

The image begins to click together in my mind. "Oh yeah. Water snakes?" I ask. He slaps my thigh, snapping his fingers and pointing at me with wide eyes.

"That's the fucker. Yeah, you'd stick your dick in that," he says confidently, nodding and relaxing in satisfaction with his statement.

"Okay, but you can like slide those things in and out so honestly that's kind of genius," I say.

"That plastic burns like a motherfucker though. And it's got those seams for the plastic so lube doesn't help," Mike says, one arm curled above his head and his other hand once more rubbing my hip.

"That's descriptive," I say with narrowed eyes. I lean forward, my face hovering above his. His relaxed hazel eyes widen slightly, but only by a hair. His rubbing stutters. His body language is still casual, but has stiffened enough to betray him.

"Just a thought."

"How old were you?"

"I did not- fifteen."

It's my turn to snicker now, picking my pillow back up and smacking him once more in the head.

"Okay, okay. Teenagers are idiots. Next card, next card," he says laughing, hand now searching for a new card from the deck. "Oh my God. What food item would you use during sex- babe, where the fuck did you find this game?"

"It was some dirty Santa gift, got it a couple years ago," I say with the wave of my hand. "Anyways, it's my turn to ask the question."

"Oh right. Pick a new one," he says, flicking the card away.

"Well, hang on now. On the topic of poor sexual choices and food, what would you use for that?" I ask, smirking and crossing my arms across my chest once more. He glares at me, lips pressed firmly together as he narrows his eyes. There's a long silence, neither of us speaking as we decide who's going to break it.

"Donuts," he finally says.

"Donuts?"

"Yeah. They have the hole," he adds as if it explains everything.

"Uh huh."

"Okay, you used a fucking lightsaber, you cannot-"

"I was fourteen, you are twenty-eight. What happens if you squeeze the thing too hard and you've just got crumbs and frosting all over you?" I ask.

"I wouldn't fuck the damn thing. I'd, like, stack them," he clarifies. "Do it like one of those really cheesy porno bits like 'did someone order some food?' And just rip open the trenchcoat to reveal several donuts stacked on my dong."

"Michael, you've put a weird amount of thought into this."

"It's the fucking question!"

"Okayokayokay- so hypothetically," I begin.

"Mm-hmm."

"If I brought home a box of donuts-"

"Nice ones. Krispy Kreme or some shit, I'm not getting sugar in my shit if it's cheap," he insists.

"...glad to know. If I brought home a box of overpriced donuts and a trench coat-"

"Take the coat out, that was a bit."

"Will you let me finish?"

"That'd be the preferred outcome," he interrupts again. "But like, before the donut thing. If it was like, y'know." He thrusts his hips into the air slightly, not to be arousing but to clarify. Because that's the part he can't say out loud. "'Cause you can't get sugar in your snatch."

"You can't get sugar in your snatch," I repeat slowly, blinking.

"Don't ask."

"Right. So if I brought home the Kreme-y goods, you would present yourself to me with a donut dick?" I ask. He rolls his eyes, suppressing a smile.

"Sure."

Valentine's Day. A day for kids and new couples, mainly. And since this household is aging out of both of those demographics, Mike and I had decided to go smaller this year. Not that we went huge every year before, neither of us feeling quite like blowing a shit load of cash on the day. But usually we booked a reservation at a decent restaurant, put on some nicer clothes, and spent the holiday just having a nice family dinner. But Abby was old enough she was itching to attend some sleepover at a friend's house for the holiday, and Mike and I felt fine just ordering in and playing a card game that we usually thumbed through while bored.

"Do 12 year olds even get valentines?" Mike asks, sprawled upon the bed the night before.

"I don't know, I didn't," I shrug. "She's just visiting her friends and wearing pink so they can gorge on chocolate, sounds like a good holiday to me."

He considers this, scratching his jaw as he continues staring at the ceiling.

"Valentine's Day alone. What trouble we could cause," he teases.

"What food are we ordering in for the trouble, anyways?" I ask, looking up from the box of my things I'd been unpacking, hanging up pictures and placing knick knacks around the room and new desk we'd shoved in earlier that evening.

"Chinese?" He asks.

"Gas for Valentine's Day, I'll love that," I say. He laughs. "How about Italian?"

"Makes me bloated, you'll be top," he says. "What are we doing in that department? I mean, we probably should do something."

"You say that like sex is a chore," I say with a raised brow, looking up at him for a moment from the box.

"Oh, hell no," he says. "If that's a chore than it's my favorite."

"Chores typically bring you closer to God."

"Than I'm smokin' it with Jesus, fuck yeah."

At that I laugh, tossing a small box at him that rattles with something inside. He catches it, laughing and pulling it open out of curiosity.

"Oh ho! What are these?" He asks, holding up a small, hot pink cube.

"Oh Jesus, I thought I lost those. They're-"

"Sex dice!" He laughs. "You whore!"

"I'm not a whore, I just went to college!" I laugh defensively. His eyebrows raise.

"Popular?"

"Fuck off," I groan. "My ex bought those, I just kept them."

Mike rolls the dice in his hands, actually sitting up and crossing his legs on the bed before sending them flying across the quilt.

"Suck toe," Mike reads. "That's disappointing."

"We never used toe, we always just picked a different spot," I say.

"Like?" He asks.

"I don't know, it varied. I guess it was kinda a pick your poison spot," I say. "You wouldn't believe how often it lands on toe."

"The universe is trying to tell you something," he says.

"The universe can suck it," I say. Mike rolls one of the dice again.

"Tit. Nice. I'll be acting as ambassador for said universe sucking-"

"You'll be acting as helping me unpack these dresses," I say, setting the box on the bed in front of him. He stands with a sigh, hands on his hips as he awaits his work. I take out a few dresses and lay them in his arms before returning to my work of organizing the closets.

"Hold 'em," I say.

"Just hold them?"

"Yeah."

"You made me get up for this?"

"Before you find the handcuffs in there? Yeah," I say.

"Handcuffs? We've been together for three years, you're moving into my house and now I'm finding out you have handcuffs?" Mike asks incredulously.

"I didn't know that would upset you," I say honestly, shrugging.

"Upset? I've been deprived! You're a freak and haven't taken it out on me!" He says overdramatically. I roll my eyes but smile.

"I'm not a freak, I've only slept with like, two other guys. That's it," I say.

"So the guys were freaks," he says.

"I mean, I wasn't saying no," I admit.

"So you're a freak when asked?"

"You sound like a teenager."

"I sound like a guy who's gonna be home alone with his girlfriend and sex toys tomorrow, yeah, I sound like a teenager," he says.

"Oh, so we're ordering in and banging all night?" I ask, raising a brow in amusement.

"Was that not the plan already?" He asks.

"I wasn't gonna say it, but if you want to."

The night was spent laying out plans of debauchery. After dropping off Abby in the early afternoon at her friends the next day, Mike and I made a slight detour before heading home, where the items were laid out before us.

Whipped cream. Donuts. Handcuffs. Dice. And some cheap, bottom of the $5 bin collection of 'Top 100 Sexy Songs for Valentine's Day' cassette tape that Mike had grabbed from a local music store during our trip.

"Do you ever question the things we do while bored?" Mike asks, staring at the ceiling, butt naked and handcuffed to the bedframe while I straddle his thighs, trying to figure out how exactly I'm gonna do this.

"Do you?" I ask, pinching his soft tip between my fingers.

"I'm starting to," he says, glancing at the can of whipped cream that was starting to sweat on the bedside table beside us. "I had questions before I shaved my junk for this, but I wasn't gonna say anything."

"Good. Keep that philosophy, I think I figured it out," I say, finally leaning for the box of glazed donuts we'd hardly been able to act mature about buying while going through the drive through. We're not seeing the gates of heaven.

"Shouldn't you get me hard first? It's just gonna grow," he says in questioning, trying to look down at what I'm doing.

"No, because then I'll have to keep you hard and that's gonna deflate quickly," I say. He nods in agreement, satisfied and sighing in slight boredom as I begin my task, trying to get the first donut on without breaking.

"Ow! Are- are you trying to fucking fold my shit?" He asks, his voice slightly higher than it was a moment ago.

"You're bigger than the hole, it's gonna break the donut! It's soft, isn't it?" I ask.

"Not that soft!" He says a bit frantic.

"Okay, what if I stretch it out like this?" I ask, tugging his dick upwards.

"I'm gonna ask you not to!" Mike says. His thumbs find the latches for the handcuffs, undoing one so he can reach down himself. "Jesus Christ- you're gonna break me!"

"This is my job," I say amused, giggling as I cover my mouth with my hand.

He ignores me, examining himself and the donut before glaring at the corner of the room, sighing.

"Motherfucker, I've been blessed, goddammit," he groans.

"What a humble statement," I say, trying not to laugh.

"This is humbling enough. Do what you will, I guess," he says, flopping back onto the bed, donut in hand and taking a bite from it as he crosses his ankles beneath me.

"I need that," I say.

"There's eleven more, this is my consolation prize," he says through his mouthful, returning his glare to the ceiling.

"You gonna redo the handcuff?" I ask.

"I'll redo your fucken dad," he snaps, but shoves the rest of the donut in his mouth as he fiddles with the handcuffs once again, groaning as I start on my work.

It takes half an hour, four donuts and a ridiculous amount of whipped cream, but the deed is done. Stepping off the bed, I behold my work of a restrained, glaring, donut stacked and cream covered Mike with a proud smile.

"This was exponentially hotter in my head," he mutters, looking down at himself.

"You don't like it?" I ask.

"I didn't say that, I'm just not drooling over- where are you going?" He asks. I quickly dart out of the room, racing to the kitchen as a series of 'babe?' Rings throughout the house. I open the fridge quickly, find the box of cherries and race back into the bedroom, holding it up as though it were a crown jewel.

"Ohh, my fucking God," Mike loudly drawls, rolling his eyes.

"I almost forgot," I say with malicious glee.

"I wish you had," he says, staring at the ceiling. "You're sick in the head."

"This was your idea."

"I'm sick in the head, I repent, I repent."

Placing a fat cherry carefully on top of the fluffy tip, I smile in true satisfaction.

"Perfect," I say, hands working to undo my house robe, shrugging it off and leaving me in simple lingerie instead.

"Now you faceplant into my dessert dick. Delicious," he deadpans.

"Mike, if you really don't wanna do this-"

"I'm gonna get a fucking UTI, just fulfill the high school fantasy already. I'll have no shame once I'm hard," he spits out quickly, jerking against the restraints slightly in impatience.

Well, that's true enough.

I lean forward, trying to figure out where to start, deciding between bottom or top.

"Babe, this is mortifying, just do some- oh-kay," Mike groans, his hips shifting slightly as I gently suck one of his freshly shaved balls into my mouth, my tongue swirling around it as I grip his thighs. The stack shifts slightly, Mike moaning as he thrusts against nothing.

My mouth works his sack for a little bit, one of my hands trailing down to between his legs to press against the spot behind his balls, making him keen into my touch as he moans loudly, the handcuffs clicking against the frame of our bed as he squirms. When I'm sure he's hardened properly underneath, I remove my mouth, making him whine as I glance up at him, smiling.

"Doing good?" I ask sweetly, pressing my fingers harder into the spot between his legs.

"Still mortifying, just keep going," he moans shamelessly, his cheeks red as he keeps his eyes closed in embarrassment.

I lean down once more, licking at the melting whipped cream on the tip of his cock, his moans growing louder as my tongue finds contact with his cock, his skin cold and wet underneath of the cream. I'm barely able to reach his actual tip, my tongue sticking down far in the hole of the top donut. I begin biting into the food, quickly tearing away at my work in eagerness of what awaits.

There's probably a special place in Hell reserved for the two of us for doing something like this and enjoying it, but I promise you, if you could see the look on his face right now, blushing wildly and trying to hide behind the bulk of his large arm, it would be worth it.

Once the first two donuts are gone I take off the cherry from the top, dangling it over his mouth in teasing.

"Want some?" I ask. He just groans in response, his cock twitching from neglect. I chuckle, tossing the fruit away and quickly taking him into my mouth, drawing a sharp, high moan from him as I suck eagerly, admiring the taste of his skin mixed with the sweet sugar from the food.

Yeah. Definitely worth it.

Pre-cum shoots into my mouth as he rolls his hips into my face, my hand still working against him as I swirl my tongue around his tip, sucking harshly as I watch him. His back arches against the bed, his head thrown back in pleasure as he loses himself in the feeling of my mouth against him.

"Go deeper," he begs, his voice soft as he bucks into my mouth, his arms straining against the handcuffs. "Holy shit, please go deeper."

His hips buck harshly against my face, smashing the two other donuts and an annoying amount of cream into my face, covering me in a facial I didn't ask for.

I pull away from him, stopping my hand and just staying still for a moment to allow him a proper look at my face.

"... I do not like this," I deadpan. I'd blink if I could open my eyes right now.

Small whines escape him as his hips continue moving, questions being voiced then everything ceasing all at once as I guess he takes a good look at me. There's a moment of silence, then he bursts out laughing at the sight, loud and obnoxious.

"It's in your hair!" He exclaims, probably wishing he could point at me as I blindly search for the hand towel nearby.

"I hope this was worth it," I say flatly, suppressing my own giggle.

"Oh, the feeling is awful, but you're doing great," he says sweetly, still chuckling as he watches me wipe at my face, groaning at the stickiness of it all.

"Jesus, I'm a mess," he says, looking down at himself. "Can we just take that off and-"

"Yeah, normal blow job, on it," I finish for him, quickly taking off the other two, very smushed donuts and discarding of them inside the box. "You have horrible ideas "

"You wanted us to try new shit, this is not on me," he laughs, smiling at me. "But thank you for answering a decade old question."

"You're weird," I say.

"Just fuck me," he says back.

Quickly I take him back into my mouth, deepthroating him and encouraging him to fuck my mouth, focusing on my breathing as he does with blind obedience. His thighs press against the sides of my head, squeezing slightly as his tip rams into the back of my throat, all gentleness off the table. My tongue slides against his prominent vein, feeling how he throbs, his cock stiff and twitching from the stimulation. He pants loudly, whining when I press my tongue harder into his vein, a loud 'snap' echoing from near his head.

His movements cease for a moment, his chest heaving as realization crosses his face.

"... the handcuffs weren't expensive, right?" He asks inbetween gasps, holding up his hands to show the cheap cuffs now hanging uselessly around his wrists.

My eyebrows raise in surprise, my head beginning to lift off of him when one of his hands comes down on my head, suddenly gripping my hair as he begins to fuck my mouth with new vigor, tearing lewd sounds from my throat as I gag sharply around him.

"Fuck it, I'll buy another pair," he decides, slamming quickly into my throat as he pulls my hair sharply, his pre-cum beginning to thicken in my mouth. "It's not like you mind, right, sweetheart?" He asks, propping himself up with one arm to watch as I swallow his dick eagerly, one of my hands dipping down to play with my clit. He tugs sharply at my hair, making me whine as his other hand smacks quick and gentle against my hollowing cheek before pointing at me.

"No," he says sharply. "I'll deal with you after."

His hand strokes my cheek as he continues fucking my face, his thumb trained on my chin, keeping my mouth open wide for him. His eyes are glazed over in pleasure as he watches me, my spit dribbling down my chin as I take him, my legs pressed tightly together as I grab blindly at his thighs, admiring the thickness as I gag on his cock.

"Fuck- you're so pretty," he moans, his cock twitching in closeness. "And kind." I moan appreciatively around him, eager to feel his cum down my throat as I dig my nails into his thighs. "Don't know how I got so lucky."

His hand roughly drags my head up by my hair, forcing me off of his cock and making me whine as I try to take him back into my mouth. His hand wraps around his length, pumping quickly as he watches me.

"Keep your mouth open, pretty girl," he commands softly. I obey, sticking out my tongue slightly, eager to please. He smiles at the sight, his lashes fluttering shut once more as he fucks his hand quickly, using my thick spit as lube, beginning to lose rhythm.

"I'm gonna cum," he warns breathily. "I'm gonna- fuck!"

His words stutter as he gasps, his hand squeezing roughly at his cock as his cum hits my face, warm and thick against my skin. We watch each other as the first few ropes cover my face, admiring the other in a hazy cloud of desire and satisfaction. Then he shoves his cock back into my mouth, his hand pumping me up and down his length again as he finishes shooting his load down my throat, admiring my new look.

"I'm just- gonna do this for awhile," he gasps, his cock still stiff in my mouth as his flow of cum begins to slow, his hips still quick in contrast.

I moan around him, my cunt clenching in want.

"Don't worry," he says, reaching for something in the nightstand, pulling open a drawer and revealing his new gift for me. "You'll get some fun too."

When I tell y'all this motherfucker somehow found a dildo shaped like a fucking lightsaber.

Goddammit, I'm gonna marry him.

                             ¤▪︎{♧}▪︎¤

You heard me.

Taglist:

@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 @jhutchissupercool . Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3

               •▪︎Masterlist▪︎•

how would y'all feel if I told you the title was a pun from that old 'berries and cream' meme

[catscidr]

i was thinking about dottore when i woke up again (shocker) nd then thought about what his shaving habits would be like. dont ask how my brain works cw: crack if you rly think about it. also mentions of dead ppl and some blood but it’s nothing major i promise this is just silly

dottore’s facial hair doesn’t grow back that fast because of how often he’s had chemical substances explode in his face. not that his entire face has chemical burns on it (he does have scars, they’re just more in the upper area of his face), but with how long he’s been working with chemicals, accidentally creating explosives was bound to happen.

it all worked out well for him though, because he did not want to rock any kind of facial hair and look like a messy, mad scientist (even if that’s… technically what he was)– he prefers to be clean shaven (i mean have you seen those crisp sideburns on his in-game model?)

and of course, because he’s a doctor, he has steady hands.

…which leads to him occasionally shaving his face with a medical-grade scalpel. his logic, the first time he attempted it, was that scalpels are just straight razors meant for cutting people open– and if he used it to shave his face, it would just become a fancier (and bloodier) straight razor.

(he could probably cut a man open with a straight razor too, anyways. so really– what’s the difference?)

since this man is always so busy he doesn’t have time to leave the lab to go shave and take care of that kind of stuff– and he didn’t really want to, either. his time is precious and deadlines can’t wait.

and since he’s so familiar with the dips and curves of his face (he’s made countless clones of himself, after all) he can simply sit at his desk, toss his mask off of his face, grab the scalpel he’d use for non lethal purposes this time, and look off in the distance to focus on the space between the tips of his fingers prodding at his face, the blade, and his skin to shave off his stubble without nicking himself.

it’s probably the only time you would be able to catch him off guard (if you’re even able to step into his office in the first place), but you would, most likely, be the one caught off guard instead.

what are you even supposed to do when you step into his office and see The Doctor himself with a straight, dead expression, head tilted up with a rusty scalpel to the underside of his jaw? scream, probably.

and the scream you scrumpt was enough to make him jolt from surprise. fortunately for him he didn’t cut his head off, but unfortunately for you, you had made him nick his face.

just a smidge.

a tiny dot of blood trickled down the lower part of his left cheek, curving down his jaw. you’re both staring at each other- while you had a multitude of questions begging to be spoken out to get answers (because what the fuck was he doing), his own mind is eerily quiet. all he does is… stare at you.

funnily enough, you felt miles more intimidated being stared down by a considerably more casual dottore; his face unmasked, expressionless red eyes boring holes into your face, patchy stubble on his face (from him not having finished shaving), and gloveless hands frozen in the air- one holding the scalpel, the other in the same position as before but now stunted below his jaw.

(one particular observation that bubbled up to the forefront of your mind was, stupidly enough, “so minty blue really is his natural hair color?”)

he kicks you out of his office with a flat glare and a wave of his free hand so he can finish his job.

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Hi!! I wanted to start by saying your writing is so captivating and I’m just in love.

I’m not sure if you are still writing for him but can I request #40 Tentative kisses given in the dark or #50 A kiss, followed by more that trail down the jaw and neck for Daniel le Domas? If you don’t write for him anymore, can I ask for Art instead? Thank you!

*I'm not currently taking any more requests from this list

Nonnie when I saw the name Daniel le Domas? The gasp I gasped. The scream I scrumpt.

"Take a break."

"I'm not due for a break."

"Take one anyway."

You shot Daniel a sidelong glance before returning your focus to the drink that you were making. You couldn't count how many times you'd bartended for a shindig at the le Domas home. The catering company that you worked for was one of their frequent picks and you were where you always wound up: behind the bar.

Daniel had always been a polite and frequent visitor, but the more often you were there, the more he spoke to you. He was about the only family member that bothered to.

You'd been warned going into that evening that you were supposed to keep your head down and your mouth shut. You just weren't able to warn Daniel. You didn't have his number, and from what you could find, the guy didn't have social media.

It was strange. His life was so glamorous, but seemed so...Contained.

"Come on, go on break," He urged again.

"Daniel, I'm working."

"I can see that. Looks awful."

You glanced toward where your manager was lingering in the doorway to the kitchen, watching you closely. You smoothed your smile away, topping off your glass and passing it to the gentleman that was waiting.

"C'mon, take your break," Daniel urged. "Take a walk with me."

"Not now, Daniel," You muttered.

"I know you get twenty minutes, we'll only take ten...Five?"

You jolted at the sound of your name, straightening up as your manager came over.

"Has she served you, Mr. Le Domas?" He asked.

"Yes, she has."

"Is there an issue with your order?"

"No," Daniel's eyes darted between you and your manager.

"Excellent. I will be taking over here," Your manager stepped in pointedly beside you. "Your help is needed in the kitchen."

You nodded your acquiescence, turning away and heading to the kitchen without another word. Damnit, you were worried that this would happen.

--

"C'mere."

"Jesus!" You hissed, whirling around at the sound of Daniel's voice. When you'd finally taken your break, you'd ducked out to the service entrance to get some air, but you hadn't expected for anyone to be waiting for you.

"C'mere," He urged again, taking hold of your hand.

"You're going to get me in trouble again!" You groaned, but you didn't bother to stay put or let go. You followed him unthinkingly, glancing back toward the door nervously to ensure that no one heard or saw you before you lost sight of it.

--

"You're not planning on murdering me out here, are you?" You asked, glancing around the stables.

"No."

"Helluva place to do it, you know, if you did. Use the hay to clean up some of the blood—You probably can't put a horse on trial. Probably."

"Are you trying to give me ideas?"

"I don't think you need 'em."

"I really get you in trouble?"

"A little."

"...What're they gonna do if they find you out here with me?"

"Fire me, probably. I don't know how they'd find us, though. This place is a fucking labyrinth."

You stopped looking around as you felt the heat of Daniel's body against your back. You bit your lip, fighting to keep yourself still as he stepped around you.

"Hey, but if you are gonna murder me, could you do it quickly? I'm not really into the whole edging thing with sex so I'm definitely not gonna find it hot with, like, death—"

You went still as he cupped your face, swiping his thumb across your cheekbone. You peered up at him, taking in the sweep of his lashes as his gaze lingered on your lips. You stepped a little closer, nudging your nose lightly against his before closing the gap between you. For all of his flirting and teasing at the bar, Daniel seemed almost as nervous as you felt. You slid your hand up into his hair, drawing him closer as he teased his tongue between your lips. His hands settled on your hips, steering you back against a beam. You tipped your head back as the kiss broke, sighing as his lips trailed along your jaw.

"Daniel..."

"Mm."

"I can't be late."

"I'll take care of it."

"But—"

Daniel grasped your jaw, turning your head toward his again, pressing a tender kiss to your lips.

"I'll take care of you."

[beeslibrarycorner]

Can you do a harry vanderspeigle x reader smut fic But hes submissive and needy 🥺

A/N: The scream that I scrumpt when I read this ask. Please if you have any more Harry thots please send them my way I beg of you 😭😭😭

Because I’m so excited about this ask you get hcs and a blurb all in one post.

Warnings: MDNI, smut, oral

He loves you, you are his world and the reason that he doesn’t want to leave earth to go back to his home planet.

He doesn’t like leaving for work in the morning without seeing you before he leaves. He gets very excited to see you when it’s almost time to leave the clinic for the day.

The sex is great, it’s great because it is with you and there is nothing better than you in his eyes.

He starts to realize that he enjoys when you start taking control in the bedroom.

He does like taking control in some circumstances but for the most part he loves when you make him feel good.

He becomes all pathetic and needy for you when you don’t give him enough attention.

He has came in his pants from you just teasing him. When you bring it up he gets very red in the face and he likes to hide his face in your neck.

He likes when you praise him and call him a good boy. It makes the inside of his chest warm and it gets him very excited.

Your moans are music to his ears.

Over time it also becomes apparent that your pleasure is his pleasure and he really enjoys making you feel good. Ex: overstimming you through oral or use of toys.

——————-

✨Blurb Time✨

You had to get on a video call with your boss about some work stuff.

You slept over at Harry’s cabin the night before and it has been a tranquil morning so far as you sat at his table with your laptop, waiting for the video call to load. Your boss and team had greeted you as you were let in and you smiled and greeted them back.

All was going well.

Harry stumbled out of the bedroom half asleep and his eyes lit up when he saw you sitting at the table only in one of his shirts. He padded over and kneeled in front of you, careful not to be in frame of the camera.

The two of you made eye contact with eachother and then you looked back to the screen and he started a trail of kisses up your thighs. Before Harry could reach to where you both wanted him, your boss cut in on what one of your coworkers was saying to end the meeting early.

Something about getting another important call. When the video call ended you looked back down at Harry and you could see the excitement in his eyes.

He dove right in, eating you out without any problems. Tounging your folds and sucking on your clit, making a huge mess. The legs of the chair creeked below you and when you looked down you saw that Harry was thrusting his hips foward.

He started noisily slurping at your leaking quivering hole and moaned into you at the taste. When you came, you were surprised, it was unexpected and very sudden. You curled foward and grabbed onto his shirt, your fingers in a death grip as your hips jutted foward.

Harry groans into you, his body pushed against the chair as he cums in his briefs. His hands on the sides of your thighs digging into the doughy flesh there. His hips moving in sharp juts as slightly shakes from the feeling.

When everything is said and done he pulls back, slick on his lips and sweat perspiring on his skin. He moves back so that he could rest his head in the top of your thigh.

“Good boy” you said, slightly out of breath and he just hummed in response.

[thisonelikesaliens]

omg the scream i scrumpt

watch this MV!

(i may follow up with translations later today)

edit: rough translations under the cut:

對你的好 給你擁抱 Being good to you, holding you in my arms 被我圍繞 是否煩惱 Revolving around you, I know when you're troubled 無理取鬧 我也知道 And I know when you're trying to pick a fight 唯一祈禱 陪你到老 My only prayer is to grow old with you

不明白 不意外 這一切不能重來 I don't understand but I'm not surprised, that we don't get a do-over 不擁抱 不應該 別用說都能明白 I understand even without words, that we shouldn't hold each other 懷抱希望 只剩下無奈 Embracing hope, but only left with a sense of helplessness

要明白 這依賴 卻不是一種關懷 I understand this dependence is not a show of care 別期待 沒期待 期待剩一片空白 No more expectations, only emptiness remains 懷抱期望只剩下傷害 Embracing expectations, but only left with pain

未知的我們 未來的我們 We don't know what the future of "us" looks like 別再掙扎就會很愉快 Stop resisting and we will be happy 拋開了是非對錯 只想與你相愛 Throwing away the notions of right and wrong, I just want to be in love with you 我不會感到後悔 也不再徘徊 I won't regret and will stop wandering 擁有你的 未來 This future with you in it

要明白 這依賴 卻不是一種關懷 I understand this dependence is not a show of care 別期待 沒期待 期待剩一片空白 No more expectations, only emptiness remains 懷抱期望只剩下傷害 Embracing expectations, but only left with pain

未知的我們 未來的我們 We don't know what the future of "us" looks like 別再掙扎就會很愉快 Stop resisting and we will be happy 拋開了是非對錯 只想與你相愛 Throwing away the notions of right and wrong, I just want to be in love with you 我不會感到後悔 也不再徘徊 I won't regret and will stop wandering 擁有你的 未來 This future with you in it

是我偽裝自己獨自心澎湃 I'm putting on a mask, hiding the cresting waves in my heart 忍不住眼淚 轉過身不想讓你看清楚 Unable to hold back my tears, I turn around so you can't see 如果可以重來 想要對你說 If we can start over, I want to tell you 我 和你 永遠不分開 You and I will never be apart

現在你和我 未來你和我 You and I in the present and future 不用掙扎 已經很快樂 We don't need to struggle anymore, we're already happy

未知的我們 未來的我們 We don't know what the future of "us" looks like 別再掙扎就會很愉快 Stop resisting and we will be happy 拋開了是非對錯 只想與你相愛 Throwing away the notions of right and wrong, I just want to be in love with you 感到後悔 也不再徘徊 I won't regret and will stop wandering 擁有你的 未來 This future with you in it

[hollowslantern]

fancy lad grilled cheese recipe

this is a slight variant of a recipe I found on here. i literally do not have any better pictures because I scrumpt it too fast. im going to tell you exactly what i did to make mine, but please get silly with it and make your own alterations. have fun and be yourself!

Ingredients:

The Sandwich:

2 pieces bread per sandwich

honey

cheeses (I used 1 slice of sharp cheddar and 1 slice of pepperjack per sandwich. get creative and follow your heart!)

The Spread:

note- this made enough for 6 sandwiches with a little bit left over. you can refrigerate the leftover and use it later.

1 (1/2 cup) stick of softened butter

1tsp better than bullion garlic base

herbs (I used basil, oregano, sage, rosemary, and thyme. follow your heart here too), to taste

crushed red pepper flakes, to taste

Instructions:

preheat your pan to 300°f, or about medium-low heat.

mix together the softened butter, garlic base, herbs, and crushed red pepper together in a bowl until fully combined. You're going to generously spread this on the outer side of each (each!) piece of bread.

on the inside of the bread, add a thin scrape of honey to one slice, put on the cheeses, and top with the other slice of bread. here is a visual representation of your sandwich as it should be assembled: 🧈🍞🍯🧀🧀🍞🧈

put your sandwich on the hot pan and grill it. once one side has been browned (you can check this by lifting up a corner with your spatula and peeking under it), flip it and cook the other side. it's delicious on its own, or you can get crazy with it and dip it in marinara sauce like i did.

please enjoy your fancy lad sandwich. i hope you like it as much as i do

[death---dealer]

I love making Em memes almost as much as she loves hurting us (I’m asking for more)—WHO SAID THAT?

YOU GUYS ARE KILLING ME WITH THESE DEADASS I JUST SCARED MY HUSBAND FROM THE SCREAM I JUST SCRUMPT LMAOOOOOOOOO