#is it really spoilers when the manga's done (not sure if the live action show follows the manga. sorry) and the show's been out for years?

[999-roses]

aight I finally sat down and finished watching live action Hikaru no Go and I kind of lost it when I saw the status under 褚赢‘s 围达 Online Go profile read ’你是我的眼‘ after 褚赢 disappeared forever/right before 时光 deleted the profile 😭😭😭😭😭 also 时光 sings a lil line out of that song too 💔

[khunyuki]

"I've lived my life with blade and you always in my mind"

ꜱɪᴅᴇ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ: 𝚋. 𝙹𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚢, 𝙹𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚢

Synopsis: Uzui Kagami admires Captain Ashiro Mina but that doesn't mean it didn't bother her whenever she hears Soshiro talk about her all of the time. Meanwhile, Hoshina Soshiro doesn't really think of Captain Narumi Gen as a threat but with how clingy he is to Kagami, boy does it feel so annoying.

Pairing/s: Hoshina Soshiro x Fiancee!OC

Notes: Sorry I posted this late, I had a hard time writing it but enjoyed it in the end. I love jealous Soshiro who acts like he isn't jealous at all <3 Also, stop being so negative, Kagami! Soshiro loves you with all his heart😭

Warning/s: Side-B manga spoiler, overthinking, jealousy

Genre: Song-inspired (kinda), Angst? (kinda), Hurt/Comfort (kinda)

Masterlist: TOC, Previous, Next

𝓒𝓸-𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓲𝓼 𝓴𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝓮 𝓼𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓵𝔂

𝓘 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴, 𝓘 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓽𝓸𝓸 𝓶𝓾𝓬𝓱

'𝓑𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓴𝓲𝓭𝓼 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓶𝓮

𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓘'𝓶 𝓼𝓸 𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓴 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯

𝓘'𝓭 𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓫𝓮, 𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓫𝓮

𝓐𝓷𝔂𝓸𝓷𝓮, 𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓮𝓵𝓼𝓮

𝓜𝔂 𝓳𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓸𝓾𝓼𝔂, 𝓳𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓸𝓾𝓼𝔂

𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓯𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝓮

- Jealousy, jealousy by Olivia Rodrigo

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Ashiro Mina, the Captain of the Third Division of the Defense Force, is someone Kagami admired starting from the day she joined the force. Just like how she looked up to Shinomiya Hikari when she was still alive.

A charismatic, strong and determined, kind yet strict woman. The one who initiated the change in kaiju neutralization for the better, as well as someone who a lot of people idolize.

It would certainly be strange if someone dislikes her, no?

Said woman was the topic of Kagami and Soshiro's conversation in the study room.

"Captain Ashiro is so amazing! She neutralized that honju from this morning with such ease. That precision, power, and accuracy was so excellent it's like..."

Kagami rambled on and on about how great Captain Ashiro Mina is and how she wants to be someone like her who gives people inspiration etc, etc...

Soshiro just watched his fiancee fondly, nodding his head whenever she looks his way, agreeing with her sentiment. Whenever she talks about something she likes, she could talk for hours on end about it.

"You sure do like her that much, huh?"

"I do! I know it's still too early for me to dream of becoming/doing something as close to what she's done but someday I want to be able to stand as her equal in terms of greatness"

Soshiro loves it whenever she's like this, she's willing to admit that she still need to work hard in order to be what she wanted to become. Her confidence in saying that she'll someday be able to do just that with such assertiveness makes him think that she really can do it in the future.

"Somehow, I'm getting jealous of Captain Ashiro who you like so much. Just joking"

He rested his chin on his hand as he showed her a teasing grin. He was just joking, of course, but seeing her red in the face after was really cute. He ruffled her hair as a sign of affection.

"You're the one I like though"

She muttered those words as softly as a whisper, so silent that he didn't catch it. He had to stop his actions to ask her to repeat it again.

"It was nothing"

"If you say so"

With her firm denial, Soshiro relented and fixed her hair. Her straight and silky hair wasn't really tangled much but it still has to be fixed in order for her to look presentable. He gently used his fingers as a comb, massaging her head slightly while doing so.

"By the way, I have to head to the Third Division tomorrow for a meeting about the goodwill kendo match that'll take place in a month. So I'll have to pass your compliments to the captain myself"

"Noooo"

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

The next day, Kagami bid him farewell fully expecting him to come back later into the night. She gradually became worried when he doesn't answer her texts or calls. She wasn't able to catch some sleep at all until she received a report about him getting injured while helping with kaiju neutralization.

Immediately, she asked for permission to take the day off in order to look after him. It took a while to get permission but fortunately they allowed it after seeing the bags under her eyes and the increasingly anxious look getting worse by the second.

Kagami immediately got changed and prepared necessary things before going. She didn't use the their division's car, preferring to commute by train or taxi as it was a private affair. After arriving at the hospital he was admitted to, she hurried to his room.

Stopping suddenly after seeing two prominent figure entering his supposed room. It was no surprise that Captain Ashiro would visit him after he got injured under her care.

She didn't want to eavesdrop but she also didn't want to interrupt their conversation. She was about to leave to give them space when she heard the captain thanking her fiancee. Curiosity got ahold of her making her erase her presence and listen to their conversation in the hallway.

"Hoshina, you are indeed a blade specialist. You undoubtedly saved that child's life. Now then, I still haven't heard you answer."

"My answer?"

"Will you join my force, Hoshina?"

That question struck Kagami like lightning.

"I appreciate the offer, but to be honest, I am quite torn. My only talent lies in the blade. But in our last mission, not even those blades were able to be of any assistance."

"Hoshina, will your power not evolve any further?"

"Huh? Oh, no... That isn't... what I meant"

"Then you just have to further polish your swordsmanship, Hoshina. Join my force and master your craft."

"Up till now, I've been treated no better than a tumor in my division. If you're saying even someone like me can be of help... Then I would love to join the Third Division"

"Then it's settled..."

Kagami stopped listening any further and was occupied by her thoughts. Was he... Was he leaving her? No, him leaving their division was fine but couldn't he gave at least talked to her about it first? Her mind was filled with questions and an unsettling feeling.

Due to her zoning out, she couldn't her them talking about her after. With Soshiro asking if she could join them too and Captain Ashiro agreeing as she wanted to ask her to join too if given the chance to talk to each other. She could only settle for requesting that he passed her message to her for now.

Sensing the people inside moving, Kagami snapped out of her thoughts and ran away. Captain Ashiro and Platoon Leader Ebina could only see her long black hair before disappearing in the corner.

"That person seemed familiar"

Captain Ashiro referring to the running female from earlier.

"Maybe it's someone you know, ma'am?"

Platoon Leader Ebina asked, in which Captain Ashiro shook her head.

"Must've been my imagination. Let's go"

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Currently, Uzui Kagami was at a cafe resting after shamefully running away. There really wasn't any reason to do so but somehow, she doesn't want anyone to see her. She didn't know why she felt so upset despite them only talking about their mission... And him accepting her offer of moving divisions.

She was happy for him, of course. But deep inside, something was bugging her and she didn't quite know what.

Was it because her fiance was leaving her alone? No that wasn't it. She was fine with him leaving if it meant he could improve even more.

Was it because he was complimented by her idol, hearing her greatly acknowledge her strengths? No that wasn't it. He deserves to be complimented by everyone, not just by Captain Ashiro, because of how amazing he truly is.

Was it because she knew what he meant when he called himself a tumor in their division?...

Or was it because her words couldn't touch him compared to the words of someone greater than her?...

Kagami pinched her skin to snap out her bad thoughts. She shouldn't think too much or else she'll lose sight of herself and the truth.

But what if he's leaving because he no longer wants to be with her? What if he wanted to be by the side of someone stronger like Captain Ashiro? What if it was an excuse to get away from her and break their engagement since he finally realized he could be with someone better than her? What if--

Ah... She was starting to hate herself again and it was her own fault. Kagami used to think negative all of the time but Soshiro always reassured her by being by her side. And now he's leaving...

'Pretend. Let's pretend, Kagami. If we continue to pretend that everything is fine then we'll believe it eventually. It's fine. Everything is fine.'

She thought as she ordered a Mont Blanc for takeout like she wasn't experiencing a mental breakdown.

.

Bracing herself, she rehearsed her words in her mind. She'd tell him she's late because of the long line at the cafe then she saw Captain Ashiro leaving the hospital. Yes, that's fine. She shouldn't tell him she eavesdropped on their conversation and thought the worse. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door and smiled like it was nothing.

"I'm sorry I'm late. There was a long line at the cafe so it took a bit too long to buy this"

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

After joining the First Division, Kagami participated in joint trainings with the rest of the Eastern Division. In the corner of her eyes, she could see her fiancee, now Vice Captain, arriving with Captain Ashiro and the rest of the Third Division.

Somehow, the bubbling and unsettling feeling on the pit of her stomach was starting to resurface and she felt virtually uncomfortable. She'd already forgotten all about it so why did it come back?

"Are you okay? You look pale"

Her friend now superior, Shinonome Rin, noticed her feeling under the weather.

"I'm kinda nervous about being around this many people"

She made an excuse and Rin took her words at face value, knowing how easily nervous she was.

"You can rest back inside if you want. The fun part's for later, for now, it's just formalities"

"Thanks"

Kagami thanked her friend and slipped inside the building. The Ariake Maritime Base is huge but having multiple divisions visit at the same time felt like the atmosphere was cramped. She rested inside for a few minutes before a familiar voice disturbed her.

"Kagami~ Hide me"

Behind her, she could feel the presence of her Captain pressing against her back. His arms were now enveloping her as he is playing his switch, with his chin resting on her head.

"I don't feel the sense of urgency in your voice Captain. Also, aren't you supposed to be with Vice Captain Hasegawa and the others?"

Kagami tried to slip off his grip but failing. Ever since she joined the First Division and got involved with her lazy captain, he's been clinging to her nonstop. Maybe that was her fault cause she kept picking him up and transporting him somewhere, saving his games for him, and hiding him. She reap what she sow.

She bent down and took his knees on her hands and gave him a piggyback ride. Used to it, Captain Narumi Gen rested on her comfortably.

"Captain, did you know that this is an abuse of power?"

"I do but do I care? Nope"

Kagami just sighed as she carried him back to where he came from, the meeting room where all captains and vice captains were present.

The door was being guarded by the platoon leaders of the First Division so they knew to let them in without asking. Her friend, Rin, was shaking her head once again.

The sound of the door opening stopped the conversation the people inside were having, thus bringing the attention to the two of them. The attention and multiple eyes on her was enough to fuel her anxiety and also make her red from embarrassment. She was used to the First Division seeing their antics but not with other divisions, especially her fiance, around.

She hurriedly placed him down besides Vice Captain Hasegawa, who threw her a grateful look, and confiscated his switch. Captain Narumi whined at her betrayal, wanting to sneak out again but was forced to stay put by the hand on his shoulder. Vice Captain Hasegawa begged her to stay and watch over him to which she reluctantly agreed. She was just an officer who had absolutely no right to be present in that meeting but here she is, babysitting her captain.

She couldn't bear to look at her fiance as she didn't know what to do or how to explain her situation to him. All she ever told him was that she's babysitting her captain and not the extent of it. That's why she couldn't see the glare and killing intent he's sending on Captain Narumi's way.

Captain Narumi clearly amused with his rival's expressions couldn't help but feel smug despite not knowing what he's annoyed about. He just felt like he won against Soshiro for once... Not that he ever lost to him. Chuckling, he motioned for her to come near and whispered.

"Look at how pissed Hoshina is. I don't know what I did but it's hella funny"

Kagami was confused for she had never seen her fiance pissed at all. She took a glance at him to see him smiling sweetly at her then back to her captain.

"I think it's just your imagination Captain Narumi"

"Like hell it is"

Hearing Kagami refute him, Narumi Gen just sulked but still relished in his rival's obvious display of irritation.

Kagami turned back to listening to the meeting and focused her attention on the voice of the person currently talking, Captain Ashiro.

Captain Ashiro has now grown into a fine woman but her charisma was still the same. Her face has gotten even more prettier with her silky straight, long black hair placed in a high ponytail.

Kagami touched her own hair styled in a loose braid cascading over her shoulder. She used to style her hair in a high ponytail just like Captain Ashiro's whenever there were missions then let it down when there aren't. Hearing it being compared to each other after Captain Ashiro grew hers made her feel like she had to change her style hence the braid.

She didn't want to admit it but Captain Ashiro became one of the sources of her insecurites and she hates herself for it. Just how could she feel jealous of someone she used to admire the most, still admire until now. Someone she and her fiance admires and deeply respects. Maybe that's why she didn't accept the offer to join the Third Division back then. Or else she'd fall into a deeper rabbit hole of complex emotions she no longer wants to feel.

She always tried to stop that feeling. Never once addressing it as to not let it interfere with her daily life and how she interacts with them. But whenever she and Soshiro talked, he would be praising Captain Ashiro nonstop with how honored he is to be chosen to be by her side.

Still, she pretended that it was fine cause he always reassured her that he only admires Ashiro Mina as his captain. With the same admiration that she felt before that disgusting feeling bubbled up inside her.

"You feeling okay over there?"

Captain Narumi noticed the sad expression on her face that was hidden by her bangs from people in front of her but not the person under her. He expressed his concern towards her and she could totally see that in his eyes.

"Wanna sneak out and play?"

That was his way of comforting his as it is the only way he knows himself. Giggling at his attempts, she karate hopped his head and told him to stop getting distracted. She felt better now than earlier so she gave him back his switch as long as he behaved.

She stopped thinking about her jealousy and just focused. She was given the chance to attend a meeting she would normally not be able to be allowed it. She should take this seriously. Well, at least she should acknowledge her fiance with a smile first after ignoring him for so long.

With a shy smile, she finally gained the courage to look at her fiance who has long since been staring at her and Captain Narumi. She gave him a discreet wave, something only they could see then turned back to listening.

.

"Hoshina, are you alright?"

"Of course I'm fine Captain. Never been better"

Ashiro Mina isn't really afraid of anything, rather she stopped being afraid. But the way he smiled when he said that gave her a bad feeling to which she just ignored, feeling sorry for the recipient of that smile. She remembered how he started getting annoyed when the two came in and recognized that the woman who brought Captain Narumi inside was her vice captain's fiancee. How could she not when she's all he ever talked about when he had the chance. Still, she felt sorry for the beating Captain Narumi will experience later by the hands of the man beside her.

.

Hoshina Soshiro didn't like the way Narumi Gen clinged to his fiancee. Ever since they went inside with him on her back to how she kept placing her hand on his shoulders to keep him still. He didn't like his smug smile as he noticed him glaring and when he made her lean closer to him. He didn't like how he made her smile after seeing that there was something bothering her.

That's fine though, for she finally smiled at him after ignoring him the whole time. That discreet wave of hers that only the two of them could see before the focus back on the meeting again. Despite feeling shy and anxious at a place where she shouldn't be, she still made the effort to notice him.

The problem was that lazyass captain of her that kept clinging and making her babysit him. He guess he should punish him by beating him up during the 1v1 activities later. He has to show him just who is better amongst the two of them. Of course while showing to his girl, after all that is the most important agenda.

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[danaty-consolation]

I don't know if you have already answered this before, so I'm sorry if that's the case, but what do you think of the ending of the manga of Urusei Yatsura/the fifth movie adaptation? Do you think that that ending truly concludes the story? I was watching the 2022 series and I... wanted spoilers for the development of Ataru and Lum's relationship so I went a little crazy, I read the synopsis for all episodes on Wikipedia, watched a couple of episodes from the 80s anime and read a few chapters of the manga. And, well, I was a little let down that it seems that they never become official? Like, from what I've read and watched, yes, their relationship seems to progress with Ataru slowly falling in love with her but it was a little disappointing to know that Ataru never really admits to his feelings, changes his "skirt-chasing" behavior or lets her know how he feels. It almost seems like the mangaka wanted to stick to the "status quo" by never letting the character dynamic between the two of them change. I don't know. What do you think? And do you think they might change that in the 2022 series or they will be sticking close to the manga?

Firstly, sorry for the wait!

Now with your question, to be honest it was pretty said and done that he admitted his feelings openly to her verbally because we all now that Ataru is more of an action guy rather than words but, here Lum wanted him to break that vow and make him say it verbally so it will come more true.

Is it stupid? Yes

Is it selfish? Yes

But the thing here is that this happens after Ataru doesn't believe her and when he gets to know he was wrong, he is still too prideful to admit it and apologize.

So she wants him to say that he loves her, to reassure her that all of they went through and lived together wasn't meaningless for him.

This was his last change to fix everything.

Being a teenager is difficult, and Lum's and Ataru's emotions are all over the place in this race.

Ataru can't even say those words. He knows that Lum will even think that he doesn't feel that way because he was pressured to say it, and he wants it to be genuine.

So when Lum forces him to say something closer and more powerful than a "I love you" it finally breaks down one of their walls.

He doesn't want to forget her, she is unforgettable to him.

And when Lum sees that he holds her horns tightly, she breaks down because that action shows that he is holding something of her close to him.

That anything coming from her is precious to him.

He showed that he loves her without verbally saying it word by word

And she knows this, that's why she hugs him....

However, we see how... He also went out to her but did not touch her horns, but hugged her tightly.

She was the one who guided his hand toward her horn, but even then, he was barely touching it, he was touching more her head.

And this part is the one you told me:

I can see the frustration because when I was younger (middle school) when I finished the Ranma 1/2 series and this one a year later I felt the same with this finale.

However, later on, I noticed that both finals made sense in their narrative.

They are still teenagers and even if they matured is not enough for them yet (This also works with Rankane because they have so many problems to fix before getting married, and they are still teenagers)

Nevertheless, after all this ordeal, we know for a fact that Ataru will be more open about what he feels for Lum later on. Literally, the whole world saw how he hugged her, he couldn't even deny it, at least about the physical part.

He won't say I love you explicitly until he matures more, but this was for sure a step forward in their relationship because here he doesn't deny that he loves her, he just won't say it for now.

After this, they will be more open, and I am pretty sure that after this, they will formally go out. Since there is nothing more to hide...

And then get married in the future because that's the only future Ataru wanted to save.

Before I close this unexpected analysis, I will be sincere about the part of Remake adding something in the final arc for them or changing something.

Honestly? They might add something small or even big, after all, we have seen how many liberties and how much closer they made Atalum in some episodes in the remake, making their bond look more comfortable and stronger. So I believe in them if they add things or make small changes, is possible with them.

[cozage]

A few people have asked…

So here’s the 2.5 things that I didn’t love about the OPLA

[SPOILERS FOR OPLA BELOW]

Again, just to reiterate: I LOVED the Live Action. It was beautiful, lovely storytelling. Everyone involved put everything they had in it and you can really see that.  But there were some changes that I didn’t think were justified, and they were both in Arlong Park.  

1. The Cocoyasi Village Residents genuinely hating Nami. In the manga and anime it’s very heavily implied (and maybe outright said? I can’t remember) that the residents of Cocoyasi Village are AWARE that Nami is trying to save their town. They only act like they hate her to try and get her to stop sacrificing herself. I’m not entirely sure why the call to change that was made, but it made me really sad the way Nojiko treated her in the OPLA (especially after seeing the moment in the manga where she tells Nami that “tattoos are just decoration; they don’t actually mean anything!”). A lot of the decisions to cut scenes with young Nami and Nojiko (and just young Nami in general) really took the punch out of her backstory. 

2. Garp and Koby meeting up with Luffy in the East Blue. I actually REALLY loved the Garp/Koby/Helmeppo storyline up until the last moment. I think it added to the world building and showed us very early on how the World Government is morally questionable and how the world operates. It also helped close the gap of how Koby and Garp got to know each other and how he falls under his command. I really enjoyed following them along for the ride. Until Cocoyasi Village. There was something about that moment that felt…off? I don’t even know why. Maybe it was because Garp has NEVER approved of Luffy being a pirate. He knows Luffys resolve, but he would never say “I was testing you to make sure you wanted this path” and then basically grant his blessing. I know there had to be some kind of resolution between them, but I didn’t like the way it ended. I wish it had been more like the Water 7 moment. Garp felt far too serious the entire time (the only time i really remember him laughing was when Luffy fired the cannonball back at the marine ship).

Impel Down spoilers

2.5 This is so small but we KNOW that Buggy cannot travel without his feet (unless I’m misremembering?). He has a range and cannot move out of it. So his head hitching a ride to the Baratie is just so canon-breaking it HURT ME. I know it’s unlikely we’ll ever make it to Impel Down for that to be a problem (I genuinely think Skypiea would probably be the last arc the LA could cover, but Water 7/Enie’s Lobby could be done if the budget was big enough) but it just BOTHERED ME. WHY. WHY DID THEY DO THAT. I know there’s ways to fix it (maybe he can’t MOVE after a certain range, but can still be carried?) but STILL. 

That’s really it, honestly. I know a lot of people had gripes about Usopp and Syrup Village, but I liked the changes. I never felt like Usopp was overshadowed (plus, background character is the way he likes it honestly, keeps him away from danger). I liked that Kaya was so welcoming and a part of the bigger storyline, and I loved the way it took place in the mansion instead of on the beach. I was OBSESSED with the way they did the Baratie, Sanji’s interactions, Mihawk's reasoning for going to the Baratie, and how he left Zoro and Luffy. 

I. ATE. UP. the zolu content during the Baratie and Nami/Zoro sibling dynamic really coming out there. Oda approved the absolute BEST changes during Baratie specifically, hes so real for that. 

I’m going to watch it again with my family, maybe I’ll feel differently after I rewatch.  Again it’s imperative you guys understand I ADORED this show, and I NEED a season two IMMEDIATELY. It was fantastic and if you haven’t watched it, go do that right NOW. 

[real-life-senshi]

10 (Mostly) Spoiler-Free Reasons to Watch Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon 2003 Live Action

A countdown to the 20th anniversary of Act 1 air date!

Reason 2: The humour!

The live-action series is great that it doesn't take itself TOO seriously. Almost all if not all episodes have some comedic moments, finding a balance of seriousness and moments of relief. After all, life goes on even in the midst of crisis!

Everyone can be funny!

Throughout the series, each character has its comedic moments, some overt and others subtle, but the opportunity gets passed around. Not one character is the sole comedic relief person, even if some characters are naturally funnier than others.

I very much appreciate the types of humour the show brings, as when each character has their own comedic moment, it's done by capitalizing on the awkward side of their personalities, or the role they may play in certain dynamics. It's important for me to emphasize this because no one gets disrespected or dumbed down for the sake of humour! It makes the comedic moment not only believable, even if sometimes cartoonish, but more importantly, it's not forced or cringe.

The editing!

The post-production crew did a phenomenal job with the background music transitions, sound effects and visual effects to optimize the delivery! I think PGSM humour gets to me so much because as a video editor, the timing or certain SFX or VFX transition is just spot on, multiplying the effects of the comedy.

Here's a small selection of such comedic moments. These are all more overt, so it didn't require too much context building (or subtitling), and most are early series, as I had to be very picky to make sure it's spoiler-free.

The last one in the clip is my favourite one by far. Unlike Ami-chan in the manga or anime, Ami-chan in the live-action series, while still smart with a high IQ, isn't actually the brain-cell holder in the team dynamic. lol

While most of the clips I shared show Usagi being the butt of the joke or the ones creating humour, it's EXTREMELY important for me to note that Usagi ISN'T actually written as "dumb" or "stupid" in the series. This re-emphasizes my earlier point. Usagi in PGSM is written to be good to a fault, naive, innocent, immature, naturally overreactive (thus awkward) and sometimes slow to the uptake, but never stupid. Her grades are not great because she's lazy and leaves things to the last minute, not because she's "dumb". When it comes to Senshi business, while Usagi may act according to her heart and not necessarily with facts, she does arrive at the correct conclusion and puts clues together well on her own. Even if mistakes were made, they were actually reasonable mistakes. That's what I love about PGSM's writing, the screenwriter really gets the characters and doesn't disrespect or devalue them for ANY reason!

You can watch the subbed versions of the series at:

Miss Dream Fansubs

Sea of Serenity Fansubs

The series is also on other online streaming sites, but be cautious to only visit them with good adware and firewall installed.

9 days till the 20th anniversary of Act 1 air date!

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

[rahxe-things]

One Piece (Live Action)

No spoilers

Listen, I didn't have high hopes for this, but to sum up all 8 episodes in an easy little sentence; it was pretty damn good.

Granted there were a number of creative liberties taken to make the Romance Dawn arc fit and flow more fluidly into these 1hr long 8 episodes, but I feel like they didn't take away from it at all.

But I really want to talk about the casting. Cause they did fucking fabulous! Because never would I think I'd say that my favourite casting would be for Buggy the Clown. The man is probably the best actor in the whole show. A close second imo would be Shanks, and it's not just because these actors are spitting images of their characters, but they captured and carried their characters so well, that during their scenes I almost forgot they were based off anime characters.

As for character resemblances; I'm limiting the list to characters that are relevant to the series as a whole.

Shanks looks exactly like I always imagined IRL Shanks would look like. As a huge fan of Shank's character, I'm really glad they found someone who pulled it off.

I'm convinced they just pulled Mihawk right out of the manga/anime. I don't think they could have found someone who looks more like him AND play his character as well as he did. He didn't have many scenes, but it was enough to leave an impression.

Koby. I bet you didn't expect him to make the list. But when he's first shown on screen, he is so unmistakably Koby. The timid, uncertain kid who wants to be a Marine was castled perfectly imo.

Alvida! Another one I bet you think wouldn't have been mentioned. But here she is. But not because she's an accurate representation, but because I think they made the correct choice of casting. In the anime/manga, Alvida is known as the most beautiful in the East Blue but is actually drawn quite ugly. We are supposed to assume that her reputation comes from her brutally forcing people to spread the rumour, but this Live Adaptation allows the reputation to spread from something concrete, hiding her secret brutality. Because omg that woman is gorgeous! <3

Zoro: I think he was going to be difficult to cast, but the actor they chose makes for a fantastic Zoro. I think my only real grief about his casting is that the actor just doesn't have that gruff tone of voice that Zoro's voice actor has for the anime. His combat choreography more than makes up for it though. I'd have to say, he has the best choreography out of everyone. (I don't know if this was because of the directing, or the actor himself, but I loved it.)

Continuing with the fight scenes choreography...

First of all, most of it is (predictably) cheesy. Anime fight scenes are notoriously difficult to adapt to live action. THAT BEING SAID, I think they did really well. There are moments where movements are really strange, but they're actually far and few between, and typically only show up where someone does one of those in-human jumps or really long leaps from across a room. And Luffy's stretchiness. Granted I'm sure they did what they could, but I still feel like they did better in the Fantastic Four movies from the early 2000s.

The Snails

Sweet Baby Jesus, those things are going to be in my nightmares. That is all.

All in all, even if it's not a perfect adaptation of the Romance Dawn arc, I still think over all it was done splendidly. As I said before, I didn't have high hopes for an anime to live action show, but I finished off the episodes overwhelmingly positive. (Bonus point for someone finally deciding on a TV show instead of a movie.) I do feel like they could have planned for a 12 episode season (much like anime), if they paced a bit differently by incorporating some minor interactions that ultimately didn't make it in, but I'm still definitely looking forward to the possibility of a season 2... and 3, and 4, and so on. Especially if they get the funding to improve of the fighting choreography and CGI. There's so many characters that I want to see make it into the live action universe, that I'm genuinely hoping for this show's success. Also, someone correct me if I'm wrong, but did I see Cavendish on the wanted poster wall? I though he didn't start pirating until after Loguetown...?

[chzdavmpr]

Delicious in Dungeon Reading Diary Vol 4

Spoilers below

First thing I notice about this volume is that the red dragon is very central on the front and back cover, and the table on contents has 6 chapters of red dragon.

Also while I'm talking about the volume cover I gotra say I love the art on these things

Like they look like they make food/wash dishes WHILE fighting the monsters, and Senshi is just doing a little mario hop with his fried rice. And all of the other covers have been similarly pleasant. Plus I love how the red boarder helps add both visual cohesion between volumes as well a nice bit of flair that helps it stand out amongst other manga.

That's how they teleported out of the dungeon? I was expecting the flash of light thing Falin did. Could it be that their gear wouldn't come with them? I don't think so if they kept their stuff on them. Must just be different methods.

Also this might be more evidence for my "living paintings are time portals" theory. Not quite sure yet.

It's very smart to go over the rules of death and resurrection in more detail now, considering what the whole point of this mission is. It both keeps stakes alive and adds tension to if Falin can even be revived.

Go off, King.

I've seen this panel before, I did NOT expect it to be in such tense context.

And the dragon is down! I gotta say that was some excellent action, all the tactics were creative, both made sense for the characters to use, as well as made sense why they failed. Plus it was just really cool, the ending bit with Laios getting his leg bit especially.

Quite morbid how Laios is basically just doing a fun jigsaw puzzle with his own sister's bones.

DON'T SHOW THE NUTRITIONAL INFO!!!

Wait are they seriously not gonna tell Falin about how she was a skeleton for like a month? Like when someone asks "did I died" I feel one of the worst things you can say is "don't worry about it." Maybe it's just a translation thing idk.

Falin no longer having brockitis* anymore is significant. It will be very relevant. I feel it in my bones.

*brockitis: a term used by the anime community to describe a character with perpetually closed eyes, named after Brock from Pokemon

I'm sorry, you have NO follow up questions? Cause I sure have a few; what resident, this place is abandoned? Or that's one of the fake doors so how was there someone there? Or were they a ghost? Laios is not beating the himbo allegations.

YOU!

Honestly it's good news to see this guy. Partially cause it's a cool new plothook, but more importantly some of my living painting questions might be answered!

I just think the mermaid is drawn real cute here.

Laios had a whole 2-second crisis over being a fake dragon fan.

Closing thoughts for the volume: the best so far. 10/10. Not only does it finish off the overarching plot so far with a really cool action scene, but sets up a lot of questions to get answered later. Plus the tension is really well done, pretty much from the point in the first chapter where they explain there are limits to resurrection to the point where Falin speaks a complete sentence there was that gripping sense of both danger and uncertainty, it makes it gripping enough to where I decently easily finished this volume in 1 sitting. While I think the coming volume or 2 will have to some work to get me invested in the next adventure I am more then confident that it can be done.

[hellsingmongrel]

Trimax and possible Tristamp spoilers?

I’ve been thinking about the way they incorporated Meryl into the JuLai storyline in Stampede, and I’m beginning to wonder if that was their way of getting JuLai and Meryl’s kidnapping from Trimax out in one shot.  It has similar storybeats, including her finally seeing Vash going full Eldritch Angel when he rescues her.

I’m honestly not really sure how I feel about that, if it is what they’re doing.  I mean it makes sense, in that it will be helping condense the story down so that they can fit the important storybeats into the show, but in doing so, they would be losing the really fascinating character growth we saw between the two of them in the manga.  That event was a huge deal for Meryl, it absolutely terrified her and she was scared of him for a long time.  It was a whole subplot that wasn’t verbally addressed much by the two of them, but was absolutely shown in their interactions and the way she went from terrified, feeling guilty about that terror, and finally being able to overcome it and be there for him when he needed her support the most.  It was just so.  Good.  It helped show that while the reader might see his transformations and be like “Oh man, that looks cool!” it was actually legitimately horrifying for everyone involved, even those who were closest to him.

His transformations are scary, he doesn’t like it, Meryl doesn’t like it, Wolfwood doesn’t like it.  Nobody knows how to deal with it when it happens.  It’s a whole thing, so many people, Vash included, are just terrified of that power and what he’s capable of and how inhuman he looks and sometimes acts when he’s completely lost in his own head.  It’s an important part of the message of learning to accept yourself and live with yourself regardless of your failings, and of not judging people by what they appear to be, but instead to measure their worth by their actions, instead.  Learning to love those around you, learning to forgive yourself, etc.

IDK.  I can see where they would want to take this shortcut, and I’ve loved pretty much everything else they’ve done with the show, so I want to give them the benefit of the doubt and say they’ll handle it well.  I just think we’d be losing an important element of the story if they reduced the tension that existed between them because of Meryl’s trauma to the way the events in JuLai went down in episodes 10-12.  I think it could have an even better impact in Stampede, even, if they did have that tension now, because until now, she’s only ever seen him be soft spoken, sweet, gentle, only raising a hand to harm others when he absolutely had to and absolutely never losing control or killing someone.  He’s so much softer than Vash is when we first encounter him in Trimax, so to have him go from that extremely gentle soul to someone who’s so lost, has so much power, and is pushed so far over the edge that he’s reduced to this:

And at the same time, when he shields her with his wings earlier in this event, there’s a moment when she’s linked into his mind and seeing his memories.  I feel like that’s something that’s important, too, and damn if it didn’t take me rereading through the manga to find that page to realize what had happened.  (Though tbf, a lot of the action in the series is like that; you have to interpret the visuals, it doesn’t hold your hand and narrate what’s going on, so sometimes it takes multiple, multiple rereadings to figure out what exactly you’re seeing.  It’s both good and bad, tbh.  Nightow is showing the reader a lot of respect in expecting them to not need to be told what is happening, but there are still some times when a little tiny bit of direction might have been useful.  :’D)

All of that, plus just giving the viewer their first glimpse into the fact that even when he’s not being controlled by his brother, Vash can still go full Plant mode, can absolutely lose control and become a being that is a threat to everyone around him unless he manages to regain his senses, would be a very, very important scene to lose.  So honestly, I really hope they don’t condense the story the way it seems they might have, or that they find a way of showing these important beats in another way.  Vash’s Big Badass Moment in episode 12 was fuckin’ amazing, don’t get me wrong!  I was screaming and cheering him on from my couch the entire episode!  But it’s not the full story and there’s a lot that would be lost if that was all they took from this part of the story in Trimax.

[itskenickie]

y’all need to watch vinland saga right now and here’s why (spoilers for s2 under the cut):

I just finished watching Vinland Saga season 2, and I am sobbing. Honestly, the people who are saying season 2 is bad don't understand that not every anime, not every tv show, not every movie, not every piece of media that you consume needs to be fast paced and action packed.

Season 2, honestly, just shows you the aftermath of everything major that happens. In other manga, they don’t explore the aftermath of those major events, at least, not in detail. They just briefly summarize what the characters are doing and then end it. But, in Vinland Saga season 2, Makoto Yukimura is like, no. This is what happens to people because of war. Some people who are not involved in war end up dying. Some people become slaves because of war. Some warriors end up being plagued by their guilt. Others, they're very indifferent to war, and they still continue to fight despite the amount of bodies lying by their feet. And some, they just don't care. They just love the blood shed– warriors, women, the elderly, they don't care. They just wanna spill blood. Sure, season 2 doesn’t have as much action as season 1 but it’s still there. it's just that it’s placed really nicely throughout the show.

And, I have to say, Thorfinn ends up having one of the best character developments I have ever seen. The way the author took the time to show us Thorfinn who is driven by revenge and hatred, ends up killing thousands of people in the span of 11 years being haunted by guilt and the ghost of the people that he killed. We get to see him turn from a warrior to someone who is a pacifist. He went from a six year old boy, believing that he had enemies, ignoring his dad’s wisdom, to a vengeful seeking machine to a pacifist who literally Ulf and his men, I have no enemies. Literally, that transformation is just so beautifully well written.

As for the side characters, they were all just so incredibly well written. We learn about their backstories, understanding the hell that they've been through. Almost everyone had the opportunity to tell their story. Sometimes I'm just like, oh my God! Snake and Gardar are so attractive. They're so manly. And then the next 2 seconds, I'm crying my eyes out because of the events that took place afterwards. There were characters who pissed me off, I couldn’t stand seeing them on the screen. Then I see a character who is kind, decent, generous, turn into the most vile individual on earth. And I’m blown away because, how, how do you do this? How do you write such realistic characters? How do you like side characters or minor characters shine and stand out?

The people who are hating on season 2 did not understand the point of the show or the point of the story at all. Vinland saga is not about some little boy who goes to war and he fights his enemies because it's so cool. In my opinion, It was never about that. The whole plot of the story was that war is bad, and people were desperately trying to escape that, and they want to live in a peaceful world. That was the story. That was the whole point of Vinland Saga.

That's why it is called Vinland. It is about a land that is located far west, across the sea, it’s warm and fertile. A faraway land, where neither slave traders nor the flames of war reach. That's Vinland. And Thorfinn wants to go there, and he wants to take people like him who are done with war, people who have suffered because of war, people who have been victims of war even though they had nothing to do with it at all. He wants to take all those people and take them to Vinland, and live a life there. And his ultimate rule in order to go to Vinland is that he will not fight. He will not spill or shed blood ever again. He learned that violence is never the answer. That scene where Thorfinn took 100 punches so he can see Canute was so impactful to me. When he told Ulf that there was no reason for Thorfinn to fight, that he had met all of them for the first time that day so he doesn’t hate them. Him ending that speech with, how can I negotiate peace with violence was so beautiful.I admit I used to hate Thorfinn in season 1 because I mistakenly blamed him for everything but he was just a six year old boy. Season 2 reminded me of that. It made me love and appreciate his character so much more, especially when you see how he grew.

Best of all, I’m so glad MAPPA remained true to Studio Wit’s style. I was so worried they would ruin the animation but they proved me wrong.

My only complaint is that we don’t know much about Snake’s backstory. I’m hoping that when I read the manga, there’s more of him and we learn who he really is.

Anyways, TLDR: Vinland Saga is a criminally underrated manga and anime. Season 2 imo was incredible. It is also safe to say that Vinland Saga is my number 1 favorite anime.

[etherrreal]

“the things you do for charity”

Pairing: kenma x gn!reader Genre: fluff Summary: kenma's always been a private person, but it was getting increasingly harder to keep his partner off his streams while you live together; so, he decided to join his two loves together for a 24-hour charity stream extravaganza. Word Count: 3,408 Warnings: some swearing, i suppose there are some spoilers from the manga about adult kenma's job? A/N: i'd give my left tit to play some minecraft or mario kart with kenma tbh -Luna

Kenma's career as a popular streamer was one of the many facets of him that shocked you when you’d started dating two years ago. The two of you had first met in an Animal Crossing discord for your city meant for trading and making friends.

After you had gone over to his island to adopt Raymond from him, he let you keep all of your Nook Mile Tickets with the stipulation that you kept in contact with him to "give him updates" about how the cat villager was doing in his new home. His dorky way of trying to flirt with you was what made you pursue him in the first place, and somehow it had led to a very fulfilling relationship.

It was revealed early on that he was a streamer, but he never expanded on it regarding the actual numbers. Curiosity got the best of you one night, and you decided to google him. Besides also learning that he was a YouTuber, you found yourself in awe at the numbers he managed to accumulate across all of his social media.

And if that wasn’t enough, he was also apparently the CEO of his own business.

Once you moved in together around the one-year mark of your relationship, you got to properly witness the amount of work put into streaming and maintaining a social media presence. This also meant that you got to read the wild comments that were left on all of his platforms–and see the occasional surprise nude picture whenever he opened up his DMs around you.

Because of this, Kenma sat you down to have a conversation about your potential appearance on his social media. You both decided by the end of it that his audience would get to know that he was in a committed relationship, but you agreed it would be best to not show your face or reveal any identifying information of yours.

It had been a year since having that conversation, and you’d both stuck to the agreement closely. The most his audience had ever seen of you was your hand whenever you refilled his water bottle for him.

Of course, it was hard sometimes, especially when you had to remain extra quiet around the house and refrain from yelling out a 'baaaabe' whenever you needed something from him, but since he had his own soundproof office, it lessened the room for any accidental error.

Overall, you were content with never showing your face to his audience for the rest of his career. You knew how nasty the internet could get because of their parasocial relationships with influencers and streamers alike, especially when they discovered those influencers and streamers had a partner who wasn't them, even if they knew they never had a chance. You weren't sure your skin was thick enough to deal with rabid angry stans.

Which is why it was so shocking when Kenma decided one day to nix the agreement.

You were in your shared bedroom answering some emails when he came in. He was dressed in a baggy hoodie, sweats, and tied-up hair; his typical look for a stream.

After some time, you noticed that he was still standing in the doorway, not saying anything. When you glanced up at him, you found him awkwardly toying with the strands of hair that had fallen out of his bun, looking down at the ground like he was just waiting for you to notice him.

"Is there something you need, baby?" you asked. "You're just standing there all adorably shy."

"Yeah, so, um, I'm going to be doing a 24-hour stream this weekend to raise money for charity."

"Oh, really? Cool! I guess that means I'll be going to bed alone that night," you joked.

"Yeah, I guess. Um..." He started before scrunching up his face like he was uncomfortable with what he planned to say next.

"What is it? Do you need me to stock up on snacks and energy drinks? Just send me a list. I can pick  them up tomorrow."

"No, that's not it. I was thinking of making a stretch goal be you coming on stream so we can play Minecraft or Mario Kart or something...I mean, I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable. I could always replace it with something else. I know they've been wanting to see me dye my hair a bright color and dress up like an e-boy, so--"

"Really!?" you nearly yelled.

"What? That they want me to dress like an e-boy? Yeah, Kuroo said it would–"

"No, I mean..." You tried to fight the confused expression that was growing on your face, but your squinted eyes gave you away. "You really want me on your stream? Like face and all?"

"....Yeah, I really want to be able to share this with you. But don't feel like you have to do it just to make me happy."

It was a large ask when looking at the full picture. Kenma had his fair share of fans and "stans" who lacked boundaries, as seen from a select few who visited your home several times this year, or the handful that found you on social media already just from seeing a glimpse of your college ring on the hand wrapped around Kenma's water bottle.

There could be a chance you could receive direct hate on your social media just because you were a person who dated a popular streamer. You would then be in the public eye with little privacy and have a magnifying glass on all of your actions and words. Anything you did would then reflect on Kenma.

What if you messed something up and then Kenma lost viewers? Would they try to cancel you or him for it?

You backed away from all the negative thoughts before you could spiral and looked at the metaphorical 'pro' column.

If you agreed to appear on his stream, you would no longer have to sneak around your house in fear of being heard or showing up in his face cam. You both wouldn't have to feel guilty playing games off-camera with each other because you knew Kenma could be streaming it instead.

And who knew? Maybe his fans would like you. You had to admit, it would be a nice ego boost knowing that you were accepted by so many people.

And, most importantly: you could physically ask him in person what he wanted for dinner instead of texting him and waiting an hour for a break so he could respond, while you sat in the next room, starving, stuck in an endless cycle of wondering whether you should make a snack or if you should just hold off for dinner.

Maybe this was a good idea.

"Okay,” you decided, “I'll do it."

"Oh... alright. Cool." Kenma was trying his hardest not to show how excited he was that you agreed. When he saw the contemplative look on your face, he was sure you would decide that it'd just be too much work and say no. But hearing you agree made him giddier than he would ever admit to.

Despite the cool and collected façade he thought he was putting on, you saw the smile that threatened to break through and the red tips of his ears. You wondered if he felt the same weight being lifted off his shoulders as you did, knowing that, after this weekend, you'd both be finally out as an official couple to the world.

And, of course, the nausea of having to do all of it live in front of thousands of people. No biggie.

Saturday afternoon came and at 12pm sharp, Kenma began his grueling 24-hour charity stream. The bar had an overall goal of $150,000, and it began filling up at a constant pace right from the start. Donations ranging from $5 to $500 were flowing in rapidly, and you were trying your best not to feel nervous.

You both agreed that if he reached $50,000 within 5 hours, you would join him for an hour or two of Minecraft later that night. Part of you hoped that the donations would slow down and plateau for a bit, but when you saw Kuroo had donated $1000, specifically with the message that he hoped to see you on stream soon, you realized that it was a pipe dream.

So, you had to be your own hype person for now, to get prepared to show your face to thousands of people and not disappoint Kenma.

Whether it was the promise of your face reveal or the people who genuinely adored charity, it took only four hours for Kenma to break $50,000.

When he saw the number update live on stream, the viewers witnessed the most amount of expression Kenma had ever shown: eyes wide as saucers, mouth slightly agape, body frozen. You could see the gears struggling inside his head struggling to turn and comprehend what they all managed to do so early on in the stream.

"Thanks so much, everyone, for being so generous today... I guess this means we'll be having my partner on later tonight," he announced. You watched his chat explode with excitement, his special emotes flying in the chat.

You picked up your phone to shoot Kenma a quick text.

[you]:: hope you're ready to put our minecraft beds together in front of thousands of people 😏

Unsurprisingly, he left you on read. But dating him for this long meant you weren't even a little bit afraid of double or triple texting.

[you]:: maybe we can kiss under the light of an exploding creeper 😫

[you]:: or have a romantic walk through our rainbow sheep while a phantom looms overhead 🥰

It was after the third text when you finally saw him pick up his phone to text you back. You eagerly awaited his response, only to cackle when you read it.

[my sugar daddy]:: im going to replace you with hinata as my partner if you dont stop

Instead of annoying him any further, you set your phone to charge on your nightstand and went into the bathroom to get ready for the stream later.

Once you emerged, you picked up your phone to check the percentage and noticed a text from Kenma stating that he'd have you on at 8pm. You decided to spend the time until then cooking up some dinner for the both of you.

It seemed like time flew by because by the time you were done eating your food, it was 7:45pm. Only fifteen more minutes before you were live in front of all of Kenma's supporters. You refilled your water bottle and sat on the couch, staring at the blank T.V. as you practically dissociated from reality until Kenma came out of his office to retrieve you.

You noticed that he looked just as nervous as you did, despite his face not showing it the way yours did. His shoulders were up to his ears with tension, and his hoodie drawstring was pulled almost all the way through due to him fiddling with it.

He turned briefly to you after he brought you into his office, gesturing to make sure you knew to wait until he gave you the cue. He sat down, unmuted himself, and took down the 'away' screen he had for his audience.

This was it. Everything was going to change in literally ten seconds.

"Well, everyone...please welcome my partner, (Y/N)."

You walked cautiously around his large gaming chair and sat next to him in your modest desk chair that he had rolled into the room for the occasion.

Okay, you thought to yourself, now don't fuck this up.

"Hi, everyone."

Nailed it.

There was a painful moment of silence before the stream finally caught up, and you both heaved a sigh of relief when you saw nothing but declarations of excitement. Amongst the 'AHHHs' and spam of emotes were sweet comments about your appearance and how cute you two looked as a couple. You peeked over at Kenma and saw the ghost of a smile on his lips, elated to know that he was just as relieved as you were.

"Okay, let's start with the gameplay while we answer some questions," he said.

The questions and gameplay started out mild; when did you both start dating, how did you meet, who asked the other out first. They even asked a few simple questions about you specifically, like your favorite anime and your star sign. And while you did see a few bans in the chat after some inappropriate questions –no, you will not tell them the color of your underwear– most were easy and simple enough to answer.

Then they started to get a bit spicier.

"Bokutoslefttit donated $69.69 and asked, 'what is your main pet peeve with Kenma?'" he read, muttering a 'wow' under his breath at the username.

"Ooh, how can I be polite when exposing you?" you pondered while beating a cow to death with your sword. "It's probably how loud he gets whenever he's playing games with his good headphones on."

"I don't get loud," he defended.

"Oh yeah, you do. I've had to come in here several times to tell you to shut up like I'm your mother. I did it literally two days ago when you were playing with Lev."

"... Next question."

You rolled your eyes at his lack of comment but glanced over at the chat to pull up a new question. You stifled a laugh when you read, "Girlboss420 asked 'who has a fatter ass, Kuroo or (Y/N)?'"

"I'm not answering that."

"Come oooon, this is a Q&A. Can't have the Q’s without the A’s."

"Nope."

You were about to start reprimanding him for implying that Kuroo's ass was fatter than yours when you noticed he ran past you with a group of pillagers following closely behind. You turned to head into the house but when you opened the door, you noticed it was blocked off by obsidian.

"You are the absolute worst!" you exclaimed.

You made a break for it, sprinting past the shooting pillagers and around to the front of the house. You made it inside with only 2 hearts to spare. You turned, in real life, to Kenma to see him tight-lipped to avoid smiling about his betrayal.

"I'm moving my bed downstairs for the rest of the stream."

You both carried on with the stream without another incident, turning to the chat every now and again to answer some questions. Kenma even apologized to you by bringing home a horse that was named "I'm sorry."

It was about an hour and a half after you sat down when Kenma decided that he needed a bathroom break. Your heart fell to your ass when you realized that you'd be all alone to entertain his chat. You considered saying that you needed to pee as well, if it meant not having the spotlight on you.

Instead, when he got up to pee, you smiled and asked him to bring you back a snack and a refill. Oh, how the turns have tabled.

In the meantime, you decided to scroll through the chat and some of the donations to pick out another question to answer since Kenma was gone. You were initially looking for a funny or vulgar comment when you saw one that had a completely different vibe.

"Kermithateblog donated $25.00 and asked, 'what's your favorite part about being with Kenma?' Wow, that's a really sweet question. Let me think for a moment."

You paused to reflect on your relationship with Kenma over the two years you’d been together. You'd had your fair share of highs and lows like any other couple, but, in the end, you both learned how to work things out so you were both equally as happy in the relationship.

"So, as you guys know, he's a busy boy with streaming, creating content for YouTube, and also being a CEO of his own company, which all takes up the majority of his time," you began. "But when he finally can shut off his screens and crawls into bed late at night, I know that he's 100% there with me at that moment. He is able to give me his undivided attention and make me feel like his love for me comes above his love for gaming."

You gave a pause, trying not to get too emotional. You rarely got the chance to gush about Kenma because you knew how much he hated having attention on him, so if this was going to be your only opportunity to do so for a while, then you were going to take it.

"What y'all don't know is that he is the biggest baby when it comes to cuddling," you laughed. "He is absolutely the little spoon most of the time, and he loves when I stroke his hair and love on him all night. In a weird way, it makes me feel special and loved knowing that he trusts me enough to be vulnerable with me. I cherish the amount of time we have together because of that."

What you didn't know was that he had come back from refilling your water bottle rather quickly and stood outside the doorway to hear your speech. His heart almost burst when he heard your tender words describing how he made you feel. He knew that you rarely got to hear how much those quiet moments at night meant to him because he was guarded with his feelings.

Which is why he started into the room on a mission.

You smiled as soon as you saw him. "Welcome back, babe, we were just talking about--"

He approached you swiftly and leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. You hardly even got to bask in the moment before he was pulling away, setting down your water bottle as he sat back down with his controller in hand like he didn't just expose to his audience how much of a softy he really was.

It was in that moment when you realized how glad you were that you’d decided to appear on stream because you'd be able to look back at that clip over and over again to relive the intimate moment.

Noon on Sunday came at last. Kenma would finally be free from the prison of his office. Not to mention he could finally get off his ass and stretch.

Between your official appearance on stream and the sign-off, you popped in a few more times to say hello to the chat when you brought him some snacks and drinks. You stayed up through most of the night, although you accidentally napped for a few hours during the dead of night which gave you a little boost in energy.

In the end, the stream was a monumental success. Kenma had even managed to blow past his goal of $150k and make it to over $200k, which meant that he'd be getting the full e-body makeover for his next week of streams.

By the time Kenma came into your bedroom after freshening up and having a small snack, you were already dead asleep with your laptop propped open to show his now offline stream.

He tip-toed around the bed quietly, closed your laptop, pulled the covers up and over your curled-up body, and slipped in himself. As he settled, he felt you shift and grab at his worn t-shirt, opening your eyes slightly just to confirm that it's him.

He pulled you against his chest tightly, his body finally able to relax. He was sure it wouldn't be too long before he completely fell out.

"That was more fun than I thought it'd be," he heard you utter quietly.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." His fingers gently danced across your shoulder blades as you mushed your face into his clean shirt. "I can't believe we raised so much today so quickly."

"I'm so proud of you, baby. You worked so hard on this."

"I also donated $2000 anonymously to speed up the process," he mumbled sheepishly, pressing a gentle kiss on the crown of your head in hopes to lessen the blow of his secret.

It was quiet for a moment, and he wondered if he’d genuinely pissed you off before he felt the vibrations from your laugh against his chest.

"...I can't wait to ruin your hair, e-boy."

Written by: Luna

[thehomothings]

Analysis of Kite's conflicting moralities, relationship with death, and the toll reincarnation may take on one's psyche

So, today I decided to compile all the thoughts I have had about Kite's interesting worldview since the first time I saw him into one post, mostly for my own sake, really. If you're familiar with the few posts I've made, you know it's gonna be a mess, but hopefully a comprehensible mess.

A heads up, this is going to be spoiler-heavy, and very much deal with subjects of death and dying as a whole. Also, some of these conclusions are drawn from my own experiences and close brushes with death, I'm not going to go into much detail but it might get personal and definitely dark. I'm not even sure if I can call this a meta-analysis, and I'm obviously no expert, so mayhaps take all of this with a grain of salt.

Been getting into drawing lately, and during the more simple and mindless part of the painstaking process of dotting every single star in this, I let my thoughts wander through the latest part of the fic I'm writing, and I got a better grasp on what exactly made Kite such an elusive character to me.

I'm not quite sure why I got so attached to Kite. Perhaps it was the air of tragedy surrounding him, how despite his sordid past he remained still open and gentle even if outlined by a healthy dose of cynicism.

But sometimes, I think it's the fact that he is so paradoxical. He's brave, yet fears death to such a degree that creates a whole Nen ability around it, is a pacifist yet will not hesitate to spill blood for his own sake or someone else's. Despite the many ultimatums and warnings of 'I will not protect you', he gave his arm and then his life to save Gon and Killua. He approaches each hunt and battle with a clear plan of action in mind, but his Hatsu takes the form of a roulette that gives him random weapons which are never what he wants, but what he seems to need for that exact situation, which he cannot dispel without using. When he draws a weapon, the decision is locked in and his or his opponent's fate is sealed. That's why each time he dubbs his weapon a bad roll. Every time he has to gamble, he sees himself as having run out of luck. When it comes to having to choose between himself and somebody else...well, there had never been a choice. In fact his aversion to using it may feed into its sheer power that we, unfortunately, saw too little of.

Let's go over his very first appearance when he saves Gon from the mother Foxbear.

It's not hard to see the strain searching for Ging has put on him; he's rash, prone to anger and punching a child for daring to get into trouble. In his mind, he's failing at his most important task, has not yet earned the right to call himself a hunter despite being in possession of his very own hunter license.

After killing the mother Foxbear and raging about having done so, he says this interesting line:

So yes, he finds killing for any reason rather irksome as most would do, yet I think something deeper caused him to absolutely lose it in this scene:

He had not been aware of Gon's identity, and despite being an animal lover and a naturalist, he made a choice to save the human instead of allowing nature to run its course. In fact, he says: 'No beast that harms a human must be allowed to live.'

How does one weight one life against another? How is the worth of it determined? The value of life... an impossible choice he's faced with and a choice which he seems to regret to some degree.

The Foxbear cub.

Here, he's speaking from experience, a tangible loss he has felt himself, and a hard and bitter life he does not want to impose on the cub.

His backstory is exclusive to the 2011 anime adaptation but there are hints alluding to it in the manga, for example, the fact that he does not seem to know his birthplace, or:

The choice of words is chilling.

Reading between the lines, one could draw the conclusion that he is an orphan. Something supporting this hypothesis is how he visibly deflates after Gon tells him his parents have (presumably) died.

So we see he is willing to go against his own moral code of not killing as to not doom another living being to the life he led, a lonely, hopeless existence that could barely be called one. He saw it best to put down the cub rather than leave it to die a painful, slow death.

The reason Kite himself isn't as cynical and cold-hearted as one would be after witnessing cruelty in its rawest form is those small crumbs of human kindness which he may have found in Ging.

It was not only a chance at an honorable life being Ging's apprentice gave him, but it also 'saved' him from being broken and twisted into what he hated and worst of all, death.

If we take that one minute of backstory as canon to his character-which I find myself inclined to do- these quirks of his make much more sense. He lived on the run. He lived on the knife's edge between giving up or pushing forwards. He lived as so a wrong move could be the difference between survival and the end.

Between rock and a hard place creates a mentality of black and white, absolute good or extreme evil, this or that. Except in reality, it's much harder than that. Deciding who to save and who to strike down is a heavy burden to bear.

It's almost easy to see how struggling to keep surviving could lend itself to a crippling fear of death and subsequently developing a Nen ability which once more goes against his own moral code in order to give himself a second chance...yet something about it strikes me as unlikely when I look at it this way.

Living life knowing it could end at any moment has the opposite effect, at least for me it did. One comes to accept that it is fleeting and while not eager to let it go, when death eventually and inevitably does come, there is no fighting it.

Especially when there is no hope that tomorrow will be a better day than this one.

Frequent near-death experiences numb one's fear in a way, even if it drives them to take precautions that render it unlikely to happen again and results in c-PTSD, but still, it does. It sparks a certain nihilistic view of 'if it all can end so easily, then what's the point of it all?'

Unless there are things to live for, a sure promise of a better future, and Ging gave Kite that. When he faced the threat of losing his second chance at life:

Really, what else could lead someone to develop the ability of 'the hell I'm going to die like this'?

I think a separate event, an even more brutal near-death experience that almost cost him his life as the hunter he so strived to be set him off to develop the secret roll of Crazy Slots, what I call Roll No.0, Ars moriendi. Unlike other weapons, it cannot come up in random and is directly summoned by him, or better said, summon by his overwhelming will to keep going and hopelessness of fighting a losing battle. I don't believe roll No.3 was the weapon that allowed him to reincarnate. I've named that one Wand of Fortune, a sort of armor instead of an offensive weapon since I find it hard to believe Kite, a Conjurer, would not focus on defences as well, and I will go into both mechanisms of these weapons hopefully in his backstory.

Despite knowing this battle to be a pointless one and being acutely aware of his soon to be demise, he did not immediately draw Ars moriendi, no, he stayed back and fought for the sake of the boys, kept Neferpitou occupied until they could reach safety. We can see evidence of this in the aftermath of the battle that seemed to have gone on until dawn, a torn apart landscape only signaling a fraction of the devastation that was Kite's power unleashed. It still wasn't enough.

In the anime sub I watched, when Gon apologizes to Ging about Kite's death, Ging said a sentence that infuriated me, because it belittled the utter suffering of the NGL trio.

"He would not die in your place." (No screenshot, sorry)

And I remember practically shouting at the screen, screaming 'how could you possibly say that? Of course he did. He absolutely did die in their place. How could you not know your own apprentice? Why-'

It was only last night that it hit me why Ging would say that.

Once upon a time, maybe Kite would not have given his life for anybody under any circumstances, even if he had a way out of it all. He would still need to die to come back to life.

His Thanatophobia could be attributed to the (possibly untreated) PTSD of the near-death experience in his later life, being so certain of dying that finding himself alive afterwards drove him to never want to go through that again. He quieted his fear by creating a sort of a loophole, that even if he lost the battle he would remain. Ging remembered that, but as evidence shows, something changed. Maybe he healed a bit, perhaps growing up dulled his fear to a certain degree, but eventually when it came down to his life or another's, he didn't choose himself.

Now, I can hear you saying 'but he didn't die, so what are you going on about??' And so I reply: Yes, he is alive, but he did die. He experienced that painful, horrible moment of staring death in the eyes and thinking 'This is it, this is the end', went through the actual process of having his soul removed from his body. And that moment stretches into infinity, ten lifetimes condensed into the mere seconds before oblivion.

Dying isn't so hard if one stays dead.

It's not so easy to open one's eyes and find oneself alive again after that, no matter how much that is the heart's desire. It's difficult, nigh-impossible to reconcile with life and walk amongst the living when everything had been so final, when death had been accepted to its fullest.

So Kite awakens, the twin of Meruem and back from the dead, his mind and identity both intact and fractured. In that he is Kite is no mistaking, yet he is not the same gentle pacifist whose first reaction upon sensing a monster's aura was to shield two kids from it at the cost of his arm.

I don't think many of you are familiar with Zoroastrian ideology, but Togashi is known for loving his religious imagery, and it's not only Christianism he derives inspiration from (evidence of which can be seen all over Kite's character and resurrection).

In Zurvanism-a branch of Zoroastrianism- there is talk of the twin spirits: Ahura Mazda -epitome of all that is good- and Ahriman -epitome of all that is evil-, the parent god Zurvin decides that the firstborn may rule in order to bring "heaven, hell, and everything in between."

Upon becoming aware of this fact, Ahriman forcibly tears through the womb to emerge first. Sounding familiar yet?

Zurvan relents to this turn of events only on one condition: Ahriman is given kingship for 9000 years, and then Ahura Mazda may rule for eternity.

Meruem ruled for 40 days, his death leaving the throne vacant for ant Kite, wearing a dead girl's face and seeming to be brewing some nefarious plan. No more is there any sign of that unrelenting pacifism and the sanctity of life he held so high, losing his own may have only served to show him how meaningless the pain and suffering he went through had been, dying only to be reborn as a member of the species that killed him. It may be that he has no desire to rule over the remaining Chimera ants or create an army of his own-

Yet I dread to think what a broken mind possessing limitless power might do to the world.

And that's it. If you made it this far, thank you for reading! If you found it interesting, stay tuned, as I think a lot and I will make it your problem.

[sgwrscrsh]

winter days: underneath the tree

☁️a/n☁️ this made my heart very warm to write even though i pulled an all-nighter to get it done because my time-management has gone to shit after finals. requested by @sachirou-senpai​. thank you, ellie, for giving me a reason to bring back my boys. i’ve missed ‘summer on you’ so much. this can be read as a stand-alone or as a spin off of ending b, my fave. either way, merry christmas to my babes who celebrate! i have one more christmas fic for tmr and then i’m hiding away to plan + write an smau.

includes: female!reader, poly!seijoh four, post-timeskip (very minor manga spoilers), lots of domesticity, a little suggestive bit, a lot of eating and sleeping now that i realize, a christmas tree, matching pajamas, a very special christmas gift, makki slapping your ass once, a lil teary moment w tooru, homemade curry + pancakes (but not together), lots of cuddling, lots of love, happy holidays, 4.35k words

☁️masterlist☁️

shivering slightly, you unlock the door to the rather spacious apartment you shared with your four boyfriends later into the evening than you would’ve liked. 

yes, four boyfriends. whom you love very much and are loved by in return.

living with four towering hunks has it’s ups and downs, but you wouldn’t trade tooru’s extensive skin care regiment sprawled across the bathroom counter; hajime’s bag of protein powder that he always forgets to put away; issei’s boots that you always tripped over when you came through the front door; or takahiro’s costco-sized box of cream puffs in the freezer that he insisted he would finish by the end of the month, almost half a year ago, for the world.

you made sure to stomp off the snow stuck on your boots before entering the building, but you couldn’t help but sigh at the warmth that greets you once you toe them off.

“ahhh,” you think. “thank goodness tooru convinced us to invest in heated floors.” another perk of having four boyfriends was that two of them brought in enough bank for you to seriously consider becoming their cute little housewife. snorting, you shake your head, though the idea of prancing around in a maid outfit to tease them seemed very appealing. “maybe we should make hiro dress up and clean the house since he still hasn’t found a new job yet.” 

“what’s so funny, sweets?” speak of the devil. makki’s head pops out from the bathroom nearest to the front door, steam rolling out and droplets falling from his hair, signifying that he had just taken a hot shower. wordlessly, you stare at him, lost in thought imagining the water caressing his toned body, but a second later, he gets a better look at you and laughs. “you look like a wet dog!” your glare loses some of its edge when he takes in your own damp strands. 

“did someone say something about a dog?” tooru comes bounding round the corner, and you could’ve sworn he drooped a little when he realized it was just you in the hallway sans dog. turning your icy glance on the setter, you open your mouth to complain about how mean the two of them were being to you when your prince charming comes in to save the day.

“you two, stop bullying the poor girl and let her take a warm bath before she gets sick!” iwa chides as he helps you unbundle the layers that protected you from the snow and sharp winds of the winter. pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead and promising to pick out comfy clothes for you, he ushers you into your spacious en suite where a steaming tub full of rose petals awaits you. hajime chuckles at the starry eyes you give him, heart warming at the love and appreciation shining clear as day on your face, before he leaves to grab a clean pair of underwear, one of issei’s t-shirts, and a pair of his own sweats, knowing you much prefer to wear their clothes at home.

submerged in the bath, you exhale contentedly, eyelids fluttering shut as you enjoy the product of iwa’s consideration and foresight. letting the stress of work and the chill of the outdoors melt from you, you stay in the water until it cools and your fingers prune. a lone thought of how much more you would’ve enjoyed the bath if the boys had joined you flits through your mind, but you jolt when you open your eyes and find issei sitting on the counter with a towel and your robe in his lap, some of the water sloshing over the side of the tub. 

“oh thank god, i was scared you fell asleep and would drown or choke on a rose petal.” you giggle while he wraps you up in your robe before gently toweling your hair dry. “you can’t leave me to deal with the three of them alone.” 

rolling your eyes, you retort easily, “if anything, i’d feel bad about leaving hajime to deal with the three of you alone. the poor man puts up with enough from his team, he doesn’t need you guys ganging up on him, too.”

“well i’ll have you know, sometimes he really enjoys us ganging up on him.” his cheeky quip paired with his wiggling eyebrows earns him a smack on the chest but regardless, you let him sweep you up into his arms and drop you on the massive bed the five of you shared. “get dressed, babygirl. as much as i’d love to spend more time with you naked, i gotta help haji finish dinner.” with a quick peck on your lips, issei leaves you to do just as he said. 

emerging revitalized and relaxed, your mouth waters at the smell of homemade curry, distracted enough to not notice tooru’s arms wrapping around your shoulders and waist. 

“hey, cutie, i’ve missed you,” he sings, face snuggled into the junction of your shoulder and neck. you spin around in his hold to slip your arms around his slim torso, relishing his firm lines against your soft curves. 

“‘ve missed you too, tooru.” and you really did, grateful that all of you were able to take time off work and he was able to come home a week before the holidays, giving the five of you a whole month to spend together before he had to jet back to argentina for his next bout of training and practice games.

“hell yea! group hug!” makki comes running towards you guys, only for you to twist out of his reach at the last second, sending him straight into the sofa behind you. “oof, that was cold, y/n.”

you stick your tongue out at the strawberry boy. “yea, well that’s what you get for laughing at me when i got home. sucker.” still entangled in tooru’s embrace, you feel his body shake with mirth and bite the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from dissolving into giggles when you see a pout take over hiro’s pretty face.

“dinner’s ready,” comes iwa’s call, beckoning the three of you into the kitchen before you could antagonize each other some more. once you all got your servings of curry, you settle into your proclaimed seats on the large sofa, your body comically small compared to their tall frames dwarfing the cushions. noting the way tooru threw his long legs over iwa’s and how mattsun and makki leaned against each other as they ate, you fold your legs to tuck your feet under takahiro’s thigh and dig in to your meal with some trashy reality show lighting up the tv screen, completely certain that the warmth in your chest was from the company of your loved ones more so than the piping hot potatoes in your stomach.

during breakfast the next day, you blearily rub the sleep out of your eyes before taking a sip of your coffee, a satisfied “ahhh” escaping your parted lips as you lean against the kitchen counter. slowly peeling your eyelids open, you notice all of their gazes were focused on you. “yes? can i help you?” you ask amusedly, awake now that caffeine had be introduced to your tired body.

“how are you still so gorgeous in the morning?” you blink at the dreamy look on iwa’s face propped up in his hands with his elbows on the surface of the island. looking around, you see the other three matching the athletic trainer’s pose and expression next to him. thinking over your messy bedhead, mysteriously stained pajamas, and almost impressively dark eyebags, you want to scoff, but the unfairly handsome men giving you their undivided attention despite all of that (“because of all of that, y/n-chan,” tooru would argue) make you blush instead.

“you’re one to talk, haji,” you opt to remark, hoping to divert their focus from you and your rosy cheeks. “and don’t look at me like that,” your pointed finger swinging wildly between the four of them like the needle of a compass. “you already know you guys are way outta my league, you don’t need me to tell you that.” with one last flourish, you wave your hand dismissively before grabbing your mug with both hands, palms warming against the ceramic.

“as wrong as you are, you can’t blame us for wanting to hear the love of our lives compliment us first thing in the morning as we admire her natural beauty,” mattsun grins once he sees the success his words have at deepening the flush on your face. tooru nods gravely in agreement, but it’s makki’s one-two combo of a wink and an air kiss that breaks you. you roll your bottom lip between your teeth to stifle a laugh but release it immediately when the playful atmosphere takes a heady turn. clearing your throat, you pay no heed to their hungry expressions, knowing full well that they all noticed your little action and how they would react to it.

“a-anyways,” you stutter, “i’m gonna go get ready ‘cause i have things to do today so-” you try to slip by, leaving your empty cup in the sink, only to get caught in your tracks by hiro’s long arms. 

“ah, ah, ah, princess. and where do you think you’re going?” soon enough, you find yourself surrounded by your smoking hot boyfriends and heat up in anticipation of their next moves. 

“this so isn’t fair,” you complain aloud, though you were just as eager as they were to get you out of your worn sleep clothes. 

“tough shit, babygirl. guess you’re just gonna have to add four more things to your to-do list, huh?” 

naturally, you leave your errands for some day later in the week when you’re able to walk properly again.

the opportunity comes when you rise earlier than the rest of them, a rare occasion where you found yourself graced with the freedom of sleeping on the outside instead of being sandwiched in the middle of the bed. tiptoeing about, you brush your teeth and get dressed, somehow managing to not wake any of the sleeping beauties. you scribble little love-filled messages on post-it notes and stick them around your apartment on your way out, but not without one last soft smile in the direction of the bedroom, the sight of the four of them cuddled together through the door left ajar renewing your motivation to accomplish your tasks and come home sooner. 

with your laptop bag in tow, you set out for your first destination, settling into a corner booth at the coffee shop with a full cup and a pastry. once you finish your breakfast, you pull out your laptop and get to work, scouring the internet for the perfect gifts for your lovably imperfect partners. you rack your brain for any recollection of any moment where they would’ve let a potential present slip into conversation and light up when you come across volleyball print pajama pants. you check the availability of the sizes you needed and upon realizing that they were all in stock and would be delivered before christmas, you place your order without a moment’s hesitation. satisfied with your progress, you pull up the animal shelter’s hours before heading out of the cafe, the barista’s greetings and the jingling bells echoing behind you. 

by the time you return home, it’s late in the afternoon and you’re greeted by a wall of warm bodies as soon as you step through the front door. 

“where’ve you been, babe?” once again, takahiro is the first to meet your return, but this time he plants a sweet kiss on your lips with his long fingers encircling your waist after his inquiry. 

“oh, you know,” you sigh, dazed from the saccharine embrace. “out and about.”

“busy day? hope it was productive.” you nuzzle into tooru’s chest, feeling the timbre of his voice through your skin, and nod.

“as a matter of fact, it was.” their eyes soften at the proud grin stretched across your face. but your grumbling stomach just had to ruin the moment, making the three of you stare at each other before bursting out in chuckles.

“you skipped lunch?” oiks asks, wrapping each arm around yours and hiro’s waists and guiding you into the kitchen. you rub the back of your neck sheepishly.

“i guess so? i didn’t really notice i was hungry until now.”

“good thing we saved your favorite from that chinese place down the street for you,” mattsun comes up behind you and lands a kiss on the crown of your head. you beam gratefully up at him and skip over to the fridge to retrieve the takeout.

“welcome home, love,” iwaizumi emerges from the bathroom to complete the set and gives you a once over. “you look tired.”

“gee thanks, hajime.” he rolls his eyes playfully at you while you wait for your food to heat up in the microwave.

“what time did you get up this morning?” 

“uhhh,” you start, mouth full. at iwa’s stern glare, you swallow before answering, “seven-ish? earlier than i would’ve like for a vacation day but it was worth it.”

“hm, well i’m glad you had a good day at least.” you shuffle over to kiss his cheek before dropping yourself on top of where tooru and hiro were cuddling on the sofa, eyes drifting around the room to take in the holiday decorations adorning the space.

“thanks, haji. but you’re right, i am sleepy.” suppressing a yawn, you lean back against the broad chests behind you and tuck back into the paper container. “can we take a nap once i’m done?”

“sure thing, babygirl.” the innocent smile mattsun sends your way turns mischievous with his added comment. “we really tuckered ourselves out while you were gone.” you nearly choke but makki’s hand thumping your back helps you dislodge whatever food got caught in your throat. iwa shakes his head and looks to the side in an attempt to hide his face, but the reddening tips of his ears give him away. meanwhile, oikawa catches your eye and winks.

“how else did you suppose we keep ourselves occupied when our baby wasn’t home?” you get up to toss your now empty container, shaking your head as you go. 

“i’m glad to see you at least got the christmas tree up before going at it. god, you’re all insatiable.”

“i mean, it’s hard not to be in this relationship,” hajime grumbles.

“aww, iwa,” makki pushes his lips into an overexaggerated pout. “you make me hard, too.” full-bellied chortles escape the four of you, ignoring iwaizumi’s indignant huffs.

“whatever,” comes his miffed reply, but you know he takes all your antics in stride. soon enough, he returns to the living room with a stack of blankets and finds you and issei added to the pile of limbs tooru and hiro founded. somehow, hajime situates himself to fit perfectly in your cuddle fest, blankets sprawled about to keep you warm.

one last yawn leaves your mouth before you mutter a sleepy, “night, guys. love you,” barely registering the quiet “love you”s you get in return as you drift off, the lights adorning your christmas tree twinkling above you.

christmas day, you wake up before the others again, this time more than willing to feign sleep and revel in the warmth of your shared bed. luckily, you don’t have to wait long for your boys to stir. sitting up, you stretch your arms above you head and begin to climb out of bed only to be caught by the wrist and dragged back down.

“haji, please,” you draw out. “we can finally open the presents under the tree!”

“i don’t care, it’s too early for you to leave me, princess.” you hum as he pulls you closer to him, revisiting your mental note that iwa is much more openly (and selfishly) affectionate in the mornings. 

“oi, the rest of us are still here you know.” face buried against tooru’s back, mattsun’s muffled complaint gets hajime to loosen his hold on you. 

“yea, yea,” he props himself up on his elbow to lean over you and kisses the former middle blocker’s temple. “unfortunately.”

“so mean, iwa-chan,” oikawa pipes up, stretching his arm across you to caress your boyfriend’s toned arm before lacing his fingers with makki’s. the pink haired man himself, still half-asleep, squeezes tooru’s hand before sitting up.

“hey, wait. it’s christmas, isn’t it?” takahiro’s question reminds you of the package you received a couple days prior, prompting you to spring out of bed before one of them could reel you back in. the four watch you rifle through the closet and resurface with the pajama pants you ordered.

“merry christmas!” you cry excitedly, tossing each boy their respective pair and eagerly awaiting their reactions. “they’re matching pj’s! look, i got one for myself, too.” thankful that you chose to go to bed in just one of iwa’s godzilla t-shirts and underwear last night, you rush to slip on your volleyball print pants. the boys take in your childlike joy, chests tightening at how precious you are. “hurry up, i want you to try them on so we can match!” at your insistence, they roll out of bed and dutifully don your gifts. 

“oh these are actually really soft,” tooru murmurs thoughtfully, fingering the fabric on his thigh.

“right?” you pipe up, nearly bouncing off the walls. “i wanted to do something to commemorate our first christmas together in this apartment and i thought these were really cute since volleyball is what brought us together in the first place.” eyes meet each other as you all reminisce that special summer, grateful that you stayed close despite your individual journeys after graduation.

suddenly, the doorbell ringing catches your attention. a brief glance at the clock on the bedside table tells you it’s much later in the morning than you though, but you’re quick to answer the door.

“who could that be?” the boys are left wondering, wandering out into the living room in time to see you wave goodbye to whoever it was with a large gift-wrapped box sitting on the floor next to you. 

“babe? who was it?” tooru is the first to ask the question on all of their minds. 

“oh, just my best friend. they wanted to drop this off on their way to their parents’ house.” you gingerly pick up the box and bring it to where your boys were waiting for you. “go ahead!”

“go ahead?” hajime parrots. 

“yea! open it!”

“it’s not for you?” takahiro ponders.

“well yes and no. c’mon just open it already!” you’re bouncing on the balls of your feet at this point. tooru finally takes the initiative to remove the lid of the box, eyes widening when he sees what it hid.

“oh my gosh,” he breathes. the other three nearly knock heads with how quickly they lean over the opening.

“is that-?” a furry little head pops up over the edge of the box, round eyes peering up at the four of them.

“a dog! yes!” you squeal. “he’s a shelter dog!”

“he is?” hiro is in awe, slowly reaching out to cradle the little guy in his arms.

“i met him the other day when i woke up early and ran errands without you guys. isn’t he just the cutest?” big hands dwarf the small pooch as they gently pet his head and stroke his fur.

“does he have a name?” tooru has the good sense to ask. 

“mhm, the lady at the shelter said his previous owner named him ponyo.”

“ponyo…” issei whispered, eyes shining. 

“i know we’re nowhere near ready to start thinking about kids,” you start, the topic of the conversation instantly drawing their attention. tooru even ignored ponyo’s little tongue lapping at his fingers. “but i thought we could use an addition to our family.” 

“y/n, princess, we obviously all love him already, but we’re busy with work- well, most of us are. who’s gonna take care of him?” hajime questions, almost reluctantly.

“i mean, hiro is home all the time since he’s still unemployed (“i said i was looking, damn!”), but i actually got promoted so my schedule is way more flexible and i can work from home most of the time.” your voice trails off bashfully, but they give you no time to be embarrassed, swallowing you up in a huge hug. 

“why didn’t you say anything sooner, baby? we’re so proud of you!” now you know how the dog felt being smothered by their affection, not that it was anything new for you.

“uhh, surprise?”

“fuck yea, surprise! god, you’re incredible. lemme make a list of things we’ll need to get for ponyo once the stores reopen tomorrow.”

“actually…”

“you didn’t.”

“i did, with help from my best friend.” going into the lowest cupboards in the kitchen, you show off the bag of dog food and water and food bowls you bought soon after visiting the shelter. “his bed and crate are in the other closet by the washroom.”

“how did we get so lucky?” takahiro asks aloud, making you blush as the others nod in sync, all of them blown away by your thoughtfulness.

“this is nothing. i just wanted to show you guys how much i love you.” you play with your fingers, a little overwhelmed now that the initial excitement has worn off. “oh wait!”

“there’s more?” tooru asks, shocked.

“but wait, there’s more!” mattsun and makki chime in simultaneously, making you laugh as you retrieve the last present. you hop over to where tooru was sitting on the sofa with ponyo on his lap, scooping the dog up and locking the two of you in the bathroom. a couple minutes later, you open the door to let ponyo scurry over to his dads, who coo softly once they see him come around the sofa.

“when did you have time to do this?”

“my pants were a little long, so i hemmed them one night after you guys passed out on the sofa watching your old volleyball matches. i kinda guessed ponyo’s measurements based on standard info i found on the internet, but it fits perfectly so i’m glad!” looking at the little sweater you made for your new family member out of the extra fabric from your pj pants, you couldn’t stop the pleased grin that broke out on your face. “now even ponyo matches with us!”

while your gaze was trained on the tiny dog that was exploring his new home, theirs were stuck on you, your resemblance with a proud mother struck something in them, giving them thoughts of you with their children. yes, children. but for now they shoved those images to the backs of their minds, meeting each other’s stares to confirm they were all in silent agreement.

“we’re gonna make breakfast, you just sit there ‘n look pretty while you watch ponyo, yea?” issei announces before pulling you into a searing kiss as he walks by. 

“not that that’s hard for you,” iwa tags on, kissing your cheek and ruffling your hair following mattsun into the kitchen.

“but i’m always hard for you.” you yelp when hiro playfully slaps your ass, flipping him off as he trails after the other two with a loud hoot. tooru comes up behind you and rubs your sore cheek, spinning you around so that you were face to face.

“why’d you do this to me, y/n-chan?” you meet his frown with a confused look of your own. “now it’s gonna be even harder for me to go back to argentina.”

“oh, tooru,” you wrap your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes to bring him close. “you have the next few weeks to spend with us and our new baby.” as if he knew you were talking about him, ponyo pads over to sit by your feet, tail wagging. oikawa sighs melodramatically.

“a few weeks is nothing compared to the months i’ll be gone!” 

“oi, shittykawa, you better not be complaining after everything this morning,” hajime hollers from the kitchen.

“love you, too, iwa-chan!” tooru calls back instinctively then he looks back down at you, his eyes giving away how much leaving will hurt him and it nearly makes you tear up with him.

“tooru, baby, it sucks every time you leave us, but you’re following your dreams and doing what you love. and we want to support you all the way, even if it means doing so from across the world. but with my new work schedule, i’ll be able to call or text you pretty much whenever. and just think how much sweeter it’ll be the next time you do come home to us. so don’t be too sad, okay, my love? we’ll all be here waiting for you.” 

as the last words leave your lips, tooru has you pulled flush against him, arms wrapped tight around your body. his face was hidden, but you could feel the sobs in hot breaths against your shoulder. you guided him over to the sofa and let him cry, petting his hair and peppering kisses on his tear-streaked face until he tired himself out. 

issei, hajime, and takahiro come out of the kitchen with stacks of pancakes and all the fixings, setting them down on the coffee table in front of you once they see tooru snoozing in your lap. iwa picks ponyo up before he could get a bite of your breakfast while you gently shake your boyfriend awake. mattsun and makki set up ponyo’s crate and bedding, leaving him with a toy to keep him occupied while the five of you filled up your plates.

sitting in the living room of the apartment you shared with your four boyfriends on christmas day, stuffing your face with fruit and whipped cream topped pancakes that they made, in matching pajamas with your new rescue dog scampering about, you couldn’t ask for a better gift underneath the tree.

taglist: @lovemeafterhrs​ @sachirou-senpai​ @honey-makki​ @kenmaki​

[ackerpreach]

This ending .... I can name 500 reasons and I will name them right now, because I don’t think I’m the only one who is upset with how things turned out. (Also, A positive message for all of you at the end)

MAJOR LEAKS SPOILERS/ READ WITH CAUTION

Update: after reading more theories from fellow RM bloggers, and sleeping over it one day, this entire chapter might be an april fools... Don't fully lose hope yet beautiful people. It's me just giving a review on a possible fake April fools chapter

After following this franchise since 2013, so nearly a DECADE. this ending is a pure disserve to the entire fandom. I feel like Yams has rushed it just for the sake of being done with the entire manga. So many things are left open, characters and their developemt are reverted back all the way to chapter 1 or are left even worse than that...

Mikasa’s worthless character development/ Aaronmika’s horrible toxic codependent relationship 

Oh honey... Let’s start with how horrible Isayama has treated her. We were all rooting for her, because we all felt like she was so misunderstood. She had a horrible childhood and imprinted on a guy who treated her like trash 99 percent of the story. And then, slowly but surely, she starts to realize she has to stop obsessing over him in the uprising arc with the help of a real man who treats her like a queen, more importantly, he treats her like a real human being. This man sees her for her abilities and that she has the power to be self dependent. She learned parts of herself, that she was able to work together with him like no one else could.  She learned parts of herself she was unable to do so if she kept obsessing about Aaron. All this love, care, mutual understanding and RESPECT these two shared. 

but...NAH FUCK THAT, right Yams?? Throw all this development away, all this bonding. Let’s make the main female lead even more yandere than she already was in the first season. Let her make out with his decapacitated head (like dude, this is also pure disrespect to Aaron’s dead body btw) and let her obsess even more about the guy who has treated her no better than a piece of toilet cloth 99 percent of the time. The guy who was never really appreciative in front of her for saving his ass billions of times, who always pushed her away, who yells at her and snaps at her whenever he can instead of reasoning and talking calmly with her in mature way. (EVEN PARODY YOUTUBE CHANNELS WHO DONT SHIP ANYTHING MAKE IT A TROPE WHERE AARON TELLS MIKASA HE HATES HER GUTS WHENEVER HE CAN) 

Then after all that, suddenly Yams tries to last minute persuade us Aaron’s always been head over heels for her???  He should have build their relationship better which he hasn’t even tried to do so... He must be thinking his fans are stupid for eating this from his hands.    

Like seriously??? What is this??? 

Isayama is just fully contradicting himself. It’s like someone tipped him off with a buttload of money for him to write Aaron like this to satisfy shipping needs and to cash in those extra money’s from it. Even if he tried to cater to Erem*ika, this is not how you write a loving and caring couple which people will root for. 

This next two panels just freaking infuriates me to the core of my soul. I can’t even describe how dissapointed I am with Mikasa. 

Why is she clutching that head so obsessively like that?  Why is she walking and turning her back away from her comrades? After everything they have done for her, after all they’ve been through?! After everything Armin has done? Standing up for Mikasa, beating up Aaron for hurting her. I feel like even Jean, Connie and Sasha have cared more for her in a healthy way.  Sure, Aaron cares for her romantically too apparently (What a twist Yams :)), but has he aided her to becoming a mentally healthier individual? Has he aided in her mental stability? The answer is a big fat NO!  All I see between these two after today’s raw Chapter’s are too Yandere obsessed individuals who have no clue on how to maintain a healthy relationship. 

Love should only go as far as the heart can endure and it seems like her character is not willing to be aware of that. Even Armin was able to let go of Aaron in those latest panels. Why does her entire character resolve around this guy??? I really do not understand. Her Ackerbond and her age is not an excuse for her to throw her life away like this. 

Shonen’s disgusting portrayal of women 

I’ve seen this countless of times in the many years I’ve watched anime. SasuS*ku from Naruto, Ichih*me from Bleach, Shinji and that oranged hair girl from Neon Evangelion.. Why do these women get decreased to simpletons with one single goal? And that is to obsess over a bland male lead who either treats them like trash or doesn’t notice them up until the last last chapter (LITERALLY WHAT YAMS HAS DONE). Some go even as far as the male leading wanting the kill the female love interest and yet the female lead is still in love with them???. It’s disgusting for him to write the MAIN female character this way. 

It’s dissapointing we believed in Isayama doing Mikasa’s character right. That she’s finally being able to let go of her codependency and to live for herself maybe live in Hizuru and find more about her roots???, but every single time she shows some improvement, it’s burried deep in the ground again by the Author. It almost seems like a lowkey kink of some of the male Mangaka’s to write about a girl obsessing over them no matter what. I see this so many times to the point that I truly stand behind it that some of them might have this fantasy. 

I wished he didn’t portray her last panels like this. Everyone else is living their lives while Mikasa is still grieving about him. I’m not saying she’s not allowed to grieve and everyone takes it at their own pace, but cmon... Show her living her life too. This is too much. Her being next to his grave and grieving him as her last panels just shoves it in our faces that YET AGAIN, BEING OBSESSED WITH AARON IS ALL HER CHARACTER STANDS FOR. 

I truly despise how Isayama handles her grieving, kissing his decapacitated head, carrying it around like some handbag, and her last panels being thissss.

The world leaving Paradis alone miraciously after all that??? 

It’s so weird and out of place with so many political feuds and disagreements between the world and Paradis, the entire Rumbling happening and we can see Mikasa just chilling outside in Paradis with no one bothering them. You can see the rings of the walls in the picture below.  I don’t know the exact reason behind as the manga is still in Korean, but from what I see, the story went the route of: throwing a happy ending without enough proper reason and  it was all fixed just like that in a snap! It doesn’t fit the entire narrative of attack on titan for things to be so peacful out of nowhere. When it comes to the narrative, how things work in that world, how hard it is to achieve peace, everything made somewhat sense up until chapter 138. 139 seems so so out of place...  It’s like I’m reading a chapter from a totally different manga. 

Aaron Yoghurt got defeated so easily/ Aaron’s character assassination

The build up on the first part of the rumbling was great, those kids carrying coins. You could feel humanity’s fear and Aaron’s hatred in those pages. As if he truly had a goal and he has turned away completely from his comrades and his closest friends with no return. The world seemed truly doomed, but he  got defeated just like that. He was in the nape all this time (because screw the warhammer power of hiding yourself elsewhere in his ginormous titan body). There is no master plan as we all expected, and in the end he just acts all yandere in the paths with Armin and that’s it... They massacared his entire character as well. Many fan theories created a better ending with his character. Him being reincarnated as Historia’s baby would be so much better. For him to still keep on seeking and to strive for power. It has always been his motive. It’s his personality from the start until chapter 138. Even if things are okay, to keep on going and to seek that adventure, but then.. He’s so weak and directionless suddenly.. It’s so weird... This is not Aaron at all???

Using Aaron for him this entire post, because I don’t want others to invade our tags... :)))

Historia’s baby 

The only panel we got from Historia’s child was this. Just a normal kid, normal life... Why did Isayama put so much effort in highlighting Historia’s pregnancy if it was nothing too spectacular anyway? It seemed he had major plans for this kid and for their development too??? It’s again, big plans, big developments, big relationship dynamic, but all  got thrown out of the window... 

Don’t read the next sentence if you are a minor :’) 

It’s like almost ejaculating, but stopping right before it and repeating that every single Arc.

My energy when writing about this chapter is the same as Nostalgia Critic and his hatred for atla the live action

In Conclusion...

I know us fans should not be deciding on how this story should end, because this is Isayama’s story after all, but I truly wished for him to wrap up things much more rounded. There are so many unanswered questions... Again, I think for the sake of being done with this manga, he rushed all of it. He’s become a millionaire from this story and now his pockets are jammed full, I guess he doesn’t need to put in any effort anymore, right? Perhaps a controversial opinion, but I really wished he cared for his fans a little bit more with this last chapter by giving some answers that make sense at least. It’s his fans who gave him this platform and the opportunity to tell his story and for him to at least give in a bit of effort especially in the last chapter is the least he can do. Rivamika being canon or not, he truly rushed it without thinking much about the entire story line. He expanded it so much, he didn’t know how to bind it all together.

Even after all this, I’ll still ship them in the headcanon type of way. I do give credit to Isayama for giving us a template for such a beautiful dynamic between Levi and Mikasa. He decides to waste it, but that doesn’t mean we have to.  I want to thank all the people with amazing writing skills, the ones who give us beautiful art like @carmenlee @phit chan @vialesana​ and many more. I want to remind all of you that we can create something beautiful of our own and we don’t neccesarily need canon lore for that. The art I’ve seen, the fanfictions I’ve read have touched me deeper than Isayama ever could at times.The Mikasa in our mind is appreciate of Levi, is mature, classy and has a strong will for herself. They spend their remaining days together peacefully. Keep writing, keep drawing, stay creative. 

I love you all so so much, I’ve only been publicly active since March, but thank you Rivamika fandom for giving me so much joy as a lurker these past 7 years <3

[kyberphilosopher]

Lᴇx Tᴀʟɪᴏɴɪꜱ

Word Count: 3285

Warnings: graphic descriptions of gore, manga spoilers following the 4th line of stars.

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a life for a life. 

"An eye for an eye" (Biblical Hebrew: עַ֚יִן תַּ֣חַת עַ֔יִן‎) or the law of retaliation (Latin: lex talionis) is the principle that a person who has injured another person is to be penalized to a similar degree by the injured party.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Gone. Your eye, was gone.

There was no warning, no time given for you to say your farewell. You didn’t have the time to even register what was about to happen. You had seen him, heard the bells and then... 

Well, you must’ve known what the price for this was going to be to some degree. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have bothered, would you? So, there in lies the catch. All the feelings going through your brain right now are based on your own individual decision, and the only person responsible for the consequences of that decision is you. 

“Come on, you have to eat, Y/N,” Historia practically sobs. She holds a spoon with a glop of banana colored mush on it, hoping to slip it in between your lips so you can just accept some kind of sustenance. But you don’t, and you won’t. You haven’t since the incident. “Please.”

You don’t say anything to the girl. You don’t even meet her eyes. You only stare at your own lap, giving her a nice view of your long, soft, sad eyelashes. The gauze wrapped around half of your head is threaded between pieces of your hair messily, and your shoulders have the hunch of that of defeat. 

Historia closes her pink lips, and puts the spoon back in the wooden bowl. “You just eat whenever you’re ready, then,” she tells you softly, and she places it on the nightstand to your right. Although she is young and nurturing, she doesn’t dare push you. The petite girl closes the door behind her, wondering if it would’ve been better to shove the food down your throat. 

It wouldn’t have mattered. You probably would’ve just stuck your own fingers down your esophagus as well, and then the banana mush never would’ve even reached your stomach. 

It felt like you’d misplaced something very important. It feels like something is missing. Something you’d been tasked to protect since birth, and had formed a friendship with. And now it was gone, and you had failed both the friendship and yourself. Your left eye wasn’t something you could just grow back, either. Once it’s gone, it’s gone for good. And now it’s gone for good. 

Your head lifts up slowly, and you’re allowed to catch a glimpse of yourself in the wooden mirror across the room. It doesn’t take long for the loathing to boil inside of you like venom. 

The one good eye you have is rung with tired darkness. A maroon, chestnut brown shade of gray lingers right under your bottom lashes starkly. The same lashes are tiredly clumped together in a particularly unflattering way. The right half of your face feels ice cold, and the left magma hot. The bandages around your head have scrunched up pieces of your hair, and they rub against your cheeks tightly at any slight movement. It’s uncomfortable, to say the least. But the slightest thought of what these bandages cover makes you want to scream your throat bloody.

The moment you pull the gauze away is the moment you see the socket of your own eye, exposing it to infection and dirty air. You’ll see a hole, a stark reminder of the missing something that you’ll never be able to replace. You might as well have a hole in your ridiculous heart at this point. 

And it was for what?

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

The bells rang every time you thought of him. 

Sometimes they were loud, but usually they were soft. You hadn’t heard them since childhood, but you couldn’t place the exact context of them. You knew, at least, that they were made of bronze, but that didn’t help much at all. And now that had appeared in your head again, and they were fused to the man you’d taken a bullet for. 

Historia and Hange seemed to be the only two who would visit you regularly. You’d see other comrades of yours in the next room when the door was open, but you had a preference for keeping it closed. Besides those two, you knew Armin and that Mikasa girl had been in your room as well. Sasha Blouse once came to take the food you hadn’t eaten. There was a vague memory of Connie Springer in your room, but you had been too preoccupied with hiding your face to receive a complete vision. 

Nobody really saw you for days. You kept yourself buried in the scratchy blankets, ashamed of what you had done to yourself. You accepted no food. Questions began to arise of whether or not you were regularly bathing anymore. At least you were able to take yourself to the chamber pot when needed, but you refused to look at your reflection on any surface. Otherwise, you feared you’d hear the bells again. 

Through everyone that had at least come to check on you once, he never had. You saw no signs of him at all around the area. You couldn’t feel his presence in your room at any single moment. At was almost as if the man had become a ghost, and maybe he had. Maybe this was another missing piece you’d have to live with, and maybe it was also bound in permanence. 

You lost your eye, so that he could keep his life. And he hadn’t even thought to show up. 

Not that you wanted to see him. If he had thought to show up, you hadn’t a clue what you would’ve said. You couldn’t explain your own actions, and you couldn’t ask him to avenge your loss. As you’d come to terms with before, this was all your doing. This was the consequence of your choice. Whatever consequences are born from that original consequence- well... that was on you too. 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*. 

“Y/N, when was the last time you ate?” Historia frowns, her shoulders sinking with sympathy. 

You stare at your lap still, with one good eye steady as it’ll ever be. 

“It doesn’t matter,” you answer after a moment, voice low. 

“What are you talking about?” the girl questions, the corners of her eyes pricking with tears. “Of course your health matters. You saved our lives out there.” 

And there they are. The bells. 

You’re a fool. You can’t do anything right, can you?

“I’m not hungry.”

“Please,” Historia practically wheezes. “For me. Just a bite.”

You still don’t move. You blink slowly, mesmerized by the dust particles you can see from the light of the setting sun, which streams through the glass of the windows behind you. 

In a flat, firm, low tone, you tell her simply. “No.”

She inhales sharply, as if she was keeping herself from tears. And you’re not doing it to make her feel like she’s not a human, or someone you distrust. It’s because with the loss of your eye comes a deep, dark hatred for yourself that you didn’t know human beings could even possess. To put it simply, you didn’t think you deserved to eat. 

Historia’s chair scoots against the floor. You see her movement out of the corner of your eye, and hear the old floorboards creak under what little weight she possesses. Then you feel even more hatred towards yourself for wasting her time and making her feel the same way that you had. 

Well, you’re certain you don’t deserve to eat now. 

There’s mumbling by the doorway. 

“She told me she wouldn’t... Just seems really out of it lately... I tried to... Okay.”

Historia’s pretty little golden head disappears from your room and around the corner, out of sight. Instead, there is another figure in the doorway, facing you. 

The bells come back. 

“I heard you wouldn’t eat,” the smooth voice calls to you. You can hear his footsteps against the wood. 

They’re getting loud. 

“Did you not hear me? I’m talking to you.”

You lift your tired head up. Your right eye, pupil big with dilation as if you were high off pain, drowns out all other color. Your face is pale, half sweaty. You’re sick, inside and out. 

Immediately, your mouth is forced open. Something hits the back of your throat roughly, and your teeth sink down from being stuffed. 

Levi shoves the piece of bread further into your face. It scuffs against all corners of your maw, dry crumbs falling down to your stomach. Your taste buds explode with an overwhelming dusty flavor after having nothing for days. It almost burns. But despite the wet scoffs you give off from gagging against the material, the man doesn’t back down or away. 

“Are you gonna eat it yourself? Or will I have to force this down your throat?” he questions- no- demands an answer from you. You’ve closed your eye from the contact, and it’s gone blurry from the abruptness of the situation. But you can picture your comrades face clear as day. 

His gray eyes will be narrow as usual. His expression will be set in stone. He will not hesitate or falter to do as he has said, and he won’t feel bad about it either. You know this. And you’re right, too. The man is steady as ever, and if anyone was ordered to guess what he was thinking, they wouldn’t have a clue on how to read him. 

No. You won’t eat. You can’t stop yourself from feeling sick at the very thought of rewarding yourself. Levi creases his eyebrows slightly, and his fingers press the piece of food farther down your esophagus. Now it’s hurting. 

“I guess I will then,” Levi speaks out. 

You don’t have a choice. Every time your gag reflex tries to push the bread away, Levi’s palm is there to keep it in place. It burns and hurts, and you wonder if bread like this has the ability to make your soft inner skin bleed. You concede.

Your teeth bite down fully, breaking off a fair portion of the roll. It makes your jaw sore from the weight of it, and Levi’s hand doesn’t move away. He watches your movements closely, making sure that you’re doing what you appear to be. He won’t take the chance. 

After chewing for what must be a lengthy forty-five seconds, you hold the mushed pieces of dough on the back of your tongue. You can’t do it. You can’t make yourself eat. 

“Swallow it,” Levi orders from above you, his voice cold and commanding. 

You concede again. 

The dough slips down in pieces, aided by saliva and awaited by your empty tummy. 

Levi finally pulls the remaining half of bread away from your lips, but doesn’t change his position of standing over you. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?” he mutters as he places himself in Historia’s former seat.

Your good eye opens and looks over at him, still glossy from budding tears. You feel out of breath. Your nose has gone pink. God, he could’ve suffocated you right then and there. 

Levi’s face is still and calm as always. His frown is ever present, and his dark hair falls the same. The only thing out of place is the fact that he stands out of uniform, in a white button up, cravat, dark vest and dress jacket. On another day, you would’ve thought it looked nice on him. Today, you have to try not to vomit all over it. 

He reaches for a wooden bowl that Historia left on the nightstand earlier. It’s filled with that banana colored mush she keeps insisting you eat. When Levi takes it into his hands, his nose inhales a little whiff. 

“Well, no wonder you won’t eat this,” he says, staring down into it. “It smells like shit.” Then, he takes the spoon from inside, and raises it into the air. “Open wide.”

No. There’s no way in hell. 

The bells are loud as you turn your head the other way. You can’t bear the sight of him, or food. 

“If you won’t take it,” Levi frowns angrily, “I’ll have no problem forcing it into you again.”

Who fucking cares, Levi? Just please, stop looking at me. 

Your left hand reaches up to the bandages over what used to be your eye. You fit your palm over it in shame, as if that would keep him from noticing what had become of you. 

“It’s been a week since this happened, and you haven’t talked about it to anybody,” you hear Levi say. “Hange says you’re not taking your medicine, either.”

Shut up. Shut up. Please, the bells are so loud. 

Cold fingers against your own turn to warm ones. Levi’s digits pat your own off your face, and then around your ear to find where the bandage ends. 

Your opposite hand reaches up to catch his wrist softly, asking him to stop without saying a word. 

Levi pauses for a moment, watching you stare off into space with exhaustion. Then he shakes your hand away gently, and continues his movement. 

His nails scrape against the end of the rope. Then he peels the bandage back, and it begins falling away from your head in a circle. Loop by loop, a layer of gauze strays away from your face. The anticipation of seeing what’s underneath is brewing inside of the man slowly, while the depression of knowing what’s to come has made you quiet as a stone. 

Finally, the last layer lays against your skin. Once Levi’s fingers pull this away, you’ll be bare to him. He’ll be able to see what you lost, but never locate it. Just as you have. 

Levi continues. 

The gauze falls away at last, revealing what had been covered. 

His eyes widen, both of them. You can’t say the same. 

Where your left eye once was was now a hole. It had layers, and he could see the socket underneath all of them. But it’s ridged and dark, almost as if it were burned. Some parts of your eye are black, others deep purple. There are traces of smeared blood around the edges it all. And, quite frankly, it looks almost glossy with some type of ooze. 

“Does it look bad?” you whisper finally, still staring off into nothingness. 

Levi tenses up, staring into the void. In all honesty, it looks absolutely horrific. Even if it was properly cleaned and patched up, it would be disgusting. It must be one of the most gruesome things Levi has ever seen- and he’s seen plenty of gruesome things.

“When the bastard shot at you,” Levi begins with a calm voice, “did it hurt?”

Kenny Ackerman. The bastard.

You don’t say a single word for a full minute. “No,” you finally decide. “I didn’t feel a thing.”

Humanity’s strongest breathes out through his nose with stress, but it’s silent. “What possessed you to do this, then?”

You’re silent once more. You’d always been a little on the quieter side of things, for as long as Levi had known you. But this was different. This was sad, and still, and devoid of life. He considers just walking away with acceptance of knowing he won’t get anything out of you.

“I just thought,” your voice comes out hoarse, “it was either you or me.”

Dark pupils dilate, grey irises enlarge. “You took the shot for me.”

The eye on the right blinks slowly. “I didn’t want you to die.”

Levi goes completely still. His shoulders square and the muscles in his back tense. The inside of his mouth melts dry, and the only thing moving in the room are the specks of dust illuminated by the light.

“I see.”

He remembers it all so clearly. He saw the flash of Kenny’s gun, weighed his chances of living. A hand pushes his face up from his jaw and he’s shoved backwards. The nails of his assailant had cut into his skin, but his life had been spared in the process.

Instead of recounting this, Levi prompts, “What made you think that was a good idea?”

You don’t answer at all, which doesn’t surprise the stoic man. He’s not sure he would, either. But he wonders if it’s because you know the answer, or because you don’t.

“Why didn’t you come to visit me, Levi?”

A soft breeze races into the room. Strands of your hair glint and swirl softly. “I thought you would’ve been here sooner.”

The truth was that Levi just didn’t want to see you. But that was because he knew the answer to why. What possible explanation could the man have given you that justified your sacrifice? How would he have shown his appreciation, or annoyance, or simple thankfulness that you’d even survived?

Your long, slim fingers run against each other in short, little pats, almost like a child. “Is it because you hate me I wonder?” Then, your face looks up to the ceiling, exposing your throat to the air. “No. You can’t hear them, can you?”

“Hear what?” Levi knits his brows in question.

“You hear them so often at funerals,” you continue, ignoring Levi’s inquiry. “Or weddings. Or homecomings.”

Y/N is out of it, Levi decides. I’ll get nothing out of her.

“If I don’t bother asking, will you just eat?”

“...funerals...”

Levi picks up the bowl of shit scented banana mush, and runs the spoon through it. With a hefty pile in the dip, he lifts it up, and slips it in between your unaware lips. You don’t struggle, and you even chew and swallow. The corners of your mouth upturn softer than softly after Levi gives you two more bites. “Wouldn’t be so bad.”

Levi doesn’t have the heart to ask what you’re talking about. Though he suspects it might be the prospect of your own funeral, he says nothing. Your death isn’t something he’s keen on thinking about. Not with all the time he’s spent trusting in you, admiring in you. It’s painful to imagine a life without you present, or even beside him. But now you’ve forced the idea onto him because of your own selflessness. At this, Levi concludes that it should’ve been him who took the shot, not you.

“We can talk about what’s not so bad after you eat.”

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*. 

Levi touches his palm to the bandage over his right eye. Gone. Gone for good.

Why do I have to think of her now? he asks himself, replaying the image of your ghastly missing piece over. Is this how she felt?

Like something’s missing? Questioning if the loss of something so valuable was worth it? You hadn’t questioned it for a second. If Levi had asked you if having your eye blown out for him was a fair price for his survival, you both knew what you would’ve answered in a heartbeat. Maybe he should’ve before you had died.

As the wagon bumps on the rickety dirt road, the soldier clenches the fingers he has left. His head drops back, and he looks up to the pale blue sky. Dark hair brushes against his nape, green cloak sticky with blood. Through the eye he can see out of, he makes out a cloud in the shape of you, and listens to the distant ringing of the bell.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*. 

I hope everyone who reads this is in bittersweet pain. Happy holiday season. 

Also if anyone has any ideas on how to write Levi better please let me know. I think I captured his character okay, but I want to do him justice. pullup hoe.

[yandere-mha]

How would Yandere Dabi react fo Y/N protecting him? Let's put a scenario that Y/N is a villian but protected of the League of Villians. She is sweet to Toga, takes care of Spinner, jokingly annoys Shigaraki only when he is in a good mood, and make sure everyone is alright. Y/N gives out motherly vibes where Toga jokes around of Y/N being a mom. Dabi catching feelings next he is fighting a hero. He got badly injured and Y/N step in protecting him. Taking a few blows for Dabi and killing the hero. Y/N helps Dabi to get up and says, "You got to stop being so reckless. I want to protect you but you keep throwing yourself in danger. "

Ughhhh I love this request so much. I really hope you like this and that my writing is worthy of your genius brain 🙏

TW: ABUSE MENTION, KIDNAPPING, VIOLENCE, BLOOD MENTION, MENTAL ILLNESS.

MAJOR BNHA MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD.

READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.

Toya was numb. His whole world was bleak, meaningless, and utterly isolated. He had no family, ambitions, or sense of self. No one cared about him or any of the terrible things that had been done to him and he didn’t care as well. There was nothing. He didn’t care about anyone else either. Whether he lived or died didn’t matter because he just existed. He may as well be dead, according to his family who had moved on. There was no justice. There was no love. There was no identity. His identity was to be the number one hero, but that had been ripped from him long ago. Toya was too tired to care.

Dabi was angry. Sometimes he became so angry and violent that he would scare himself. He would feel everything at once to the point where he couldn’t breathe. He mourned over the death of his purpose in life and over the death of the plucky little kid who would never give up. He wasn’t that kid anymore and he didn’t like what he’d become. Dabi wasn’t really him though... Dabi was Endeavor. Endeavor made him and he wants more than anything to make him see the consequences of his actions since his family didn’t care enough about him to do that themselves. Why did they forget me? Did I not even mean anything to them alive? He’ll make them pay too. He’s found a new identity and he couldn’t be more happy

You... were warm. When he looked at your beautiful face he felt as if he should look away because he didn’t deserve to see you. He wished you couldn’t see him, yet he craved for you to just look at him. You filled a void within Toya and suddenly he wasn’t so lonely anymore. How could you love someone who wasn’t even a person? Maybe he really was a person. You were so perfect... it pissed Dabi off. You reminded Dabi that he would never be good enough for that kind of love. He would always be second and he was just waiting for the moment you’d replace him with someone else. You’d forget about him just like his family did. You scared him but he couldn’t stay away. Life was unbearable without you. How could you make him feel that way? Hasn’t he already been through enough? You shouldn’t play with people’s feelings, ya know...

What was really cruel was how much you must love to toy with him. You knew how much he needed you - ALL of you, and yet you looked at other people too. He never told you about his feelings but why should he have to when he knew that you knew. You knew of how much pain you were causing him and you didn’t care. Why must everyone treat him like this? He knew there were no good people in the world and yet he let himself fall for you. How pathetic. How weak. He needed to show you what happens when you cross him. He’s tried of being weak and you make him look like some love-sick fool.

When you sacrificed yourself for him, all he could do was laugh. He screamed in pain as he laughed until he felt his face fall apart and his lungs felt like they were about to fall out of his body. It was funny how fucking desperate you were to hurt him that you’d actually hurt yourself like this. What the fuck would he do if he lost you, huh? Who would he be after you were gone? He clamped his hands over your battered form as tightly as he could screaming in your face in the way an animal would scream after being shot. He knew his face was bleeding all over you, mixing with your own blood. It made his heart flutter being so close to you.

After scanning your dumbfounded face, his laughter began to die down and he affectionately swiped a loose strand of hair out of your face to get a better look at you. He really was a tool, huh? He can’t be mad at you for long. You were his wife after all even if you pretended not to know that and he’d be there to protect you no matter how much you piss him off sometimes. Your love truly was written in the stars and no matter what happened, you would always end up together - till death do you part. He remembered all the times he’d dreamed about having a wife as a child and he smiled softly. He was flattered that anyone would care enough about him to do something like this even if it was to hurt him. You must hate him and love him too. 

“You gotta stop being so reckless. I want to protect you but you keep throwing yourself into danger like some fucking dumbass. If you really want my attention so bad, you should have just said so.” 

That was fun and all, but he can’t have you doing that again. You’re gonna be at his place for a long time and he’ll make sure to think of a proper punishment for you too. You have to learn your lesson and hold yourself accountable.

[pleasantanathema]

Graves into Gardens | Reiner Braun x Reader | Chapter One

Chapter One: Living Ghosts

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Fem!Reader 

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: Modern AU, spoilers up to season four, slight manga spoilers (only by including characters met later), captivity, mentions of violence, enemies to lovers, angst, and eventual smut (don’t worry, it’ll come sooner than you think).

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: Here’s chapter one of my multi-chapter series for Reiner— chapter two is already ready!

A very special thank you to @present-mel​ , and @whats-her-quirk​ for encouraging me to take the plunge and create this monster (I’ve got a lot planned for this fic and I’m so excited for it) 💕

Masterlist | Next Chapter

           You were having that same dream again, the one where you felt like you were dying. Your shoulder ached with the memory of bursting pain, but there were warm hands there, holding you, pressing down to keep the bleeding at bay. You could never recognize the face, never identify the voice, your ears still ringing from the sound of a piercing gunshot. It was always the same; a delirious memory warped into a nightmare. Sometimes the dream ended in the hospital, other times with you staring at the inside of a coffin, or in a shallow grave.

           But this time, you were waking up, eyes flickering open to meet harsh fluorescent lights and clinking, cold handcuffs around your wrists.

          A white-hot sense of dread pooled over your body.

          You knew where you were. You knew how you got here. And suddenly, you wished you were dreaming again.

          You could still see it all, still hear the deafening blades of the helicopter whirring above you. None of your team had expected the Marleyans to be in the warehouse; they hadn’t been on the soil of Paradis in years. They’d caught you off guard and sent your escape plan into action sooner than expected. You’d tried to follow Mikasa and Armin, but Jean was in your way. The lines of your vertical movement gear had tangled with his as you both hurriedly attempted to ascend and meet Levi in the aircraft, sending you spiraling back into the window, back into enemy territory.

          Someone kicked you in the skull when you landed, you could still feel your head throbbing with the soreness. That must’ve been what did you in, what made you easy pickings to become a captive to the Marleyan government.

          You sat up, taking note of your surroundings: of course, they’d put you in a cell, one void of a bed but thankfully containing a fucking bucket. How considerate. Just outside the iron bars was a table scattered with broken pieces of your gear, undoubtedly torn apart to be studied and to keep you from using it to escape.

          Anger brewed inside your chest, a familiar feeling of betrayal returning that you hadn’t felt in years. There were faces here you didn’t want to see, enemies with broken facades that still haunted your thoughts at night. People you’d trusted, people you’d loved.

          You knew they would show themselves soon. If you were still alive, it’s because there were questions that Zeke Yeagar wanted answers to, tendrils of doubt and duplicity that he wanted to sink into your mind.

━━━─── • ───━━━

          Reiner felt sick. He’d never wanted to see you again, yet he’d been the one to carry your unconscious body through the compound, to cuff you and leave you on the frigid concrete floor. He’d stood over your figure for a while, heart pounding his chest out of fear that you’d wake up and flash that scrutinizing gaze of yours toward him again. But you’d just laid there at his feet, small, vulnerable, like a lost memory washed back upon the shores of his life.

          And of course, now that you were awake, you weren’t talking, refusing to take Zeke’s bait.

          He watched the older man pace around the room, glasses glinting as he wrung his hands. Truly, Reiner had been surprised that Zeke didn’t kill you on the spot, instead opting to transport you all the way across the border to their headquarters, insistent that you be treated like precious cargo. Though, it had been hard to keep Porco from poking at your body in the floorboards of the armored truck. Reiner had tried to keep his gaze away from you, eyes glued to the dark horizon outside of the rain smeared window. Maybe if he had stopped looking at you, you would have disappeared.

          There was something pressing Zeke, something worrying him that he wasn’t sharing with the rest of the warriors. He thought you knew something, or perhaps that you could be valuable in some way.

          Reiner knew that if you were to live, you needed to speak, needed to give them a piece of information to work with. He placed his head in his hands at the table, palms rubbing at his eyes. He shouldn’t—he didn’t—care if you took your last breath here. You were the enemy, someone who’d once held a knife to his throat when his true intentions within the ranks of The Scouts were revealed. He almost wished you’d killed him then, that you’d ended all the years of misery and regret that still clung to his mind like a poisonous leech.

          “Maybe she’ll give in to someone she knows,” Zeke stopped his pacing, attention turning to Annie Leonhart who sat across from Reiner, “why don’t you give it a go?”

          “Absolutely not,” she rejected, long legs crossing at the ankles upon the table.

          “Bertholdt tells me that you two were quite the comrades during your reconnaissance mission.”

          “I wouldn’t say that. We just found each other tolerable. Bertie was always sweet on her, though.”

          Zeke sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Bertholdt is kind to everyone, he’s as soft as they come.”

          Bertholdt, per usual, stayed quiet in the face of Zeke’s remarks.

          Porco Galliard chuckled at that statement, straightening his shoulders before he spoke.

          “Which is exactly why you should’ve sent me to Paradis instead, Chief. I could give her a go. You were being too easy on her, anyways. Once you start ripping off fingernails people really start to give in, you know.”

          Reiner’s gut twisted at the thought.

          “You’re not allowed anywhere near her, Gailliard,” Zeke crossed his arms as a smirk settled into the lines of his beard, “she’s far too pretty, you’d break down and grovel to her before it was all over.”

          Galliard huffed, a pink tinge dusting his cheeks as he shrunk down in his seat.

          “Reiner—”

          He had an inkling that it would come down to this. There would be no point in disputing it, he’d have to come face to face with his past, with sins he thought he left behind four years ago.

          He stood before Zeke could complete his thought, heavy knuckles rapping at the wood of the table.

          “Well, looks like we finally have a volunteer.”

           Every inch of Reiner’s skin bristled as he marched down the corridor to the prison cells. His footsteps were jarring, heavy, like he was determined to leave prints in the floor to mark a final walk of shame. Some part of him hoped you’d be gone when he opened the door, that you would have used your wits and crawled through some air duct and run away from this, from him.

          He almost didn’t turn the door handle. He felt invisible, burdensome hands pulling at his shoulders, calling at him to run. He’d always been a coward, especially when it came to you. He hated you, loathed you because he knew you pegged him as fraud from the beginning. You never threw a kind word in his direction, always looked at him like he was below you, like his pride meant nothing to you.

          Reiner just wished that you had meant nothing to him. Even when the opportunity had presented itself, he couldn’t even find the strength to kill you like his orders demanded. He wondered if you remembered it at all, if your memories had finally flooded back after all this time. Something inside his heart wouldn’t let him that night, some unknown, egregious feeling that by some means overshadowed his hatred. 

          That feeling returned when he entered the room and found you sitting with your back to the wall, your tightly bound hands in your lap.

          He took in a deep breath as he averted his gaze, teeth gritting at the sight of you awake. Zeke was right, four years had done you justice; time had only made you more beautiful than before, and he worried he might fall to his knees before you.

          “Reiner.”

          Sometimes, he just really wished people would stop saying his name.

━━━─── • ───━━━

          A strange relief settled into your stomach at the sight of him. Reiner was as hulking as ever, broad shoulders stretching the threads of his shirt to their limits. But he was different, older…demure, in some ways. He didn’t hold his head as high anymore, didn’t immediately cross his arms across his barreled chest to appear larger. He took tired, golden eyes less intense than you last remembered. His fingers rubbed at his lips, at the facial hair that adorned more pronounced cheekbones.

          You hated to admit that he appeared even more handsome than you remembered.

           There was a red armband tied around his bicep, an insignia emblazoned on it that you’d never seen before.

          “Do I make you nervous, Braun?”

          You caught his attention then, made his eyes look at you as you leaned your head back against the stone wall.

          “Tough question from the one behind bars.”

          His voice had changed, too. He sounded more stoic, more serious. There used to be a hint of glee under that tongue of his.

          “Why am I here?”

          “I’m supposed to be the one asking you things.”

          You shrugged, biting at your cheek as you wiggled your toes to try to make them feel again. Your limbs were starting to ache, your head too, body feeling like it was starting to cement to the floor. You didn’t want to be Zeke Yeagar’s plaything, but you knew that if you were alive, there was something they wanted. There was some leverage you held, but you weren’t sure what it was just yet. You had hoped they would send Bertholdt in to talk to you, you always could get under his skin.

          Reiner was a more difficult case for you. He always coated himself in arrogance, made it harder for you to chip away at his armor. He never let anyone in, just always grinned, acted like he had everything under control. But before you was a man with cracks, a man that time and guilt had eroded. You almost felt sorry for him, almost. A man like him deserved to bear the weight of his burdens.

          “Listen, if you don’t start talking—”

          “You’ll what? Kill me?”

          “We’ll torture you.”

          He said the words with a weight that knocked you back a bit, stole the last breath of gusto you were holding onto. You expected as much, but hearing it said aloud made fear crawl up your spine, made the cuffs around your wrist feel even more strained against your skin.

          “What do you want to know? I could tell Yeagar was prodding for something tangible to use against Paradis.”

          “I just want to know what you know about us, if you know anything about what Marley has been doing in the last few years.”

          “You’ve been fighting a war, that much I know.”

          And he looked like he had been through battle, been through hell in trenches and gunfire. Your intelligence agents had reported that Braun had been promoted to be Vice Commander of the Warrior Unit, and the hardline of his frown told you he’d seen more horrors than you wanted to know about.

          “Tell me something you don’t know from news headlines.”

          Levi had trained all his scouts for this situation once upon a time ago. You could still hear his voice in your head, commanding you to give up as little as possible, learn what the enemy wanted and then give them something else to cling on to. You had a few things you knew you could feed to them, beneficial tidbits that would satiate their hunger and keep them from feasting upon your teammates. But relaying any kind of information was a death sentence within itself; give the dogs a treat and eventually they’ll want more.

          And you knew that Reiner, that Zeke Yeagar, was a very greedy host.

          You stood slowly, releasing the aching tension in your lower back. Reiner didn’t flinch away from his place beyond the rusting iron, instead eyeing you like you were some exotic thing in a cage.

          There was a nostalgia of being in his presence, even if the atmosphere around him was contrary to what you were used to perceiving. He still made your blood boil, still made your fighting instincts come alive in the back of your mind. You still felt small in his shadow, but there was still a lingering feeling, a fleeting memory, about how being around him once made you feel safe.

          Your bare feet moved toward him, toes stinging against the cold of the floor.

          One of your hands wrapped around a bar to your prison, the metal of your handcuffs clinking against the barrier.

          You could catch his scent from being this close, and at least that much stayed the same—he always smelled like cedarwood, earthy and sweet, like the spice of the forest floor after a fresh rain. It was almost funny how smell created memories more frequently than any other sense. 

          Suddenly, you felt like you were back home, like nothing had changed, as if his deceit had never been revealed. Your mind’s eye flashed images of your old training camp, of Reiner lifting Connie onto his shoulders after the small boy had successfully managed to triumph over Jean in his marksmanship practice. He’d used one of the tricks that Reiner had taught him. That once sweet memory turned sour as you remembered just why Reiner was always such a good shot.

          You tilted your chin up to look at him, to come face-to-face with the imposing penumbra you thought you’d warded off. He was a living ghost brought back to haunt you once again.

          “You seem pathetic, Braun, like you’ve lost all that bravado that made you so special.”

          He took your words, let them bounce off his chest like you hadn’t even spoken them.

          “Why did they send you in here? Did they really expect I’d crack under such pitiful pressure? You’re a deplorable, miserable—”

          His fist wrapped around your hand, crushing your fingers between his might and the metal bar you’d secured yourself to.

          You hissed at the pain, but…there was something you had missed in that touch of his; he felt warm, worn, like there were secrets being pressed into your skin.

          “Be. Quiet.”

          You expected his fingers to flex, waited for him to crack your fingers under his pressure. But he kept his strength at bay, electing to keep a steady, continuous tension against your knuckles.

          “Talk, or tomorrow will be your last day. You wouldn’t want to die at the hands of a pathetic, wretched man like me, would you? No, you’re too proud for that.”

          He took a step back, releasing his bruising grip before turning on his heels to leave.

          A string of panic began to uncoil inside you, snapping as his arm extended towards the exit.

           “Reiner,” you called, “tell me something. How much do you really know about Zeke Yeagar?”

           “I know enough.”

           “No, you don’t,” you were starting to sound worried, you could hear it, “there’s something I know that you don’t, and I’d be willing to give you information in return for you answering a question for me.”

           You could feel your heart beating in your chest, every pump within your ribs like the ticking of an oppressive clock. He was silent, steady, back still turned away from you. You noticed that his fists were clenched by his side, a vein starting to appear up the exposed length of his forearm.

           “I’ll consider it. Depends on what your question is.”

           He still didn’t turn to look at you.

           “Reiner…tell me what happened to Marco.”

           The door was slamming shut before the last syllable of the dead man’s name left your lips.

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