#is it really a fair fight when one of those soundwave's is small enough to be easily drop kicked across the room

[copycatsymphony]

What does a young mech with nothing better to do than test his communication hub, and his hacking skills, even do while sitting on his aft? Well, try random frequencies and hack into them, of course.

Which has apparently given him access to another alternate of his - an extremely strange one, it seems. Soundwave paused, rereading the message a few times before he figures out an appropriate response that didn't include cursing a certain warlord out. In text, of course; better to reply in kind, after all.

- I'm just testing out new frequencies. If this "master" you mention is supposed to mean Megatron, I don't work for him anymore. Fragger went and joined the Autobots and left me, so I left. -

- I have nothing to do with the war anymore. I'm on my own. -

Well, technically he had the cassettes and those two daft seekers. That counted, right?

By Unicron’s aftplates, it’s another one. Horror of horrors, an alternate of himself. A generic STORE-BRAND SOUNDWAVE. An inferior boxy one that can’t even fly or call up bridges.

Soundwave crushes the jealousy of his alternate having built-in child storage. Perhaps if he had such a compartment, his creations would’ve lived.

Feh.

[W H A T DO YOU WANT. TELL YOUR MASTER TO FRAG OFF.] (text) 

Better to nip this sorry recruiting attempt in the bud.

[silkling]

Hi Silkling, could you please write a TFP story where Sierra discovers the Autobot's secret and joins up with Team Prime? TFP never really did much with her, and I think that a shame. I think Smokescreen would make a good partner for her.

Absolutely! Great to see you again in my ask box! :D your last prompt was super fun to write to, so I’m looking forward to this one! Now, I admit, I never paid much attention to Sierra, and the show didn’t give us a lot to work with, so I’m going to have to come up with some of her characterization. And I agree. So I’m mashing her with Smokescreen. It’s gonna a be great. I love Smokescreen very much! I even have a whole AU of my own for him. He’s a tiny happy dumbass and since Sierra has basically no canon personality, I can make her be his long-suffering but still very fond best friend.

———————————————————————————————————

Sierra had been having a good day. Emphasis on the word had. It was the weekend. She had packed a small picnic, grabbed her favorite book, and hopped on her bike. She’d ridden out to the popular hiking trails, intending to take a short hike and finding a nice place to spend the afternoon with a her novel and her snacks. The sun was out, the weather was great, and she had nothing to do today. It was perfect. So, of course, the laws of the universe demanded that something go wrong.

‘Murphy is a cruel bastard and and I’m going to punch him in the face when I see him in the afterlife.’ She thought viciously, staring up at the hulking titan that had just crushed her lunch and bike under a single massive metal foot with a sense of numb disbelief. ‘At least I still have the book.’ She ignored how the thought echoed with a note of hysteria as she shoved said book into the messenger bag over her shoulder.

“Are you Sierra O’Niell?”

She was only slightly surprised when the massive robot spoke. Because why wouldn’t the giant robot that had just moments ago been a jet be able to speak? Honestly, what even was her life at this point. She was more concerned with the fact that the thing knew her name. Her initial instinct was the demand how it knew her name. But she’d seen the movies. She knew that would only confirm it’s suspicions.

“Who?” she forced herself to ask instead, surprising herself with how steady her voice was. It was the shock, she told herself. It had to be. It was making her emotionally numb. “What are you?”

The robot seemed startled, before it snarled something that was most definitely a curse. It started speaking, though not to her, and it took Sierra a moment to realize it must have been talking over some sort of built in communication system. “-wrong human, Soundwave! This pathetic fleshling you pointed out to me doesn’t even know who I am talking about.” It paused. “What do you mean it’s not the wrong human? I just told you-“ it cut itself off. “Ah. I see.” A sinister grin twisted at metallic features. “Thank you, Soundwave. I will return with my prize shortly.”

Oh, Sierra did not like the sound of that.

Sure enough, the robot turned to face her when it was done. “It seems you lied to me, little fleshling.” it sneered. “My associate tracked the signal of your personal communications device. You humans never go without it, I’ve been told.”

She blinked. “You hacked my phone?” she sputtered, and oops, she’d just confirmed her identity. ‘Stupid, Sierra.’

It’s face twisted into a cruel expression of glee. She did not like it. “Indeed.” It began bending down, and then a large hand was reaching towards her. “You shall be coming with me, human. Soundwave has seen how Jackson Darby is fond of you.” it purred. “You will make a lovely bargaining chip against that pathetic human runt and his Autobot protectors.”

And wait, this was because of Jack? How did he come into all this? If this thing was after her because of him, that had to mean he knew about it and it’s…friends. Did robots have friends? She didn’t know. And wait, Autobot?

She stiffened, scrabbling away from the large metallic hand, shunting those questions to the back of her mind to be answered later. Escape the terrifying metal monster now, murder Jack for pulling her into this later. Clearly though, the robot disliked her attempt to flee because it only growled and stepped towards her again.

That’s when she heard the roaring of a powerful engine. It made the robot pause too, and they both looked to where the sound came from. Then, over the crest of a hill, a white and blue sports car came flying in. It had red accents and bold 38s painted onto its doors. Sierra was impressed. She was no car person, but even she liked this one. Only, the car started breaking apart once it hit the ground, unfolding and growing into the form of, you guessed it, another robot.

Sierra despaired for her luck. ‘Murphy is going to die a second time for this. He’d better be prepared.’ She thought with vicious hysteria.

Except, to her great surprise, the new robot didn’t try to help capture her. No, instead it rammed full force into the tall jet robot that had tried to snatch her up. Said jet yelped before quickly getting back to its feet. Sierra heard the should of metal and gears shifting, and saw the newcomer’s large hand change to some sort of weapon, though not one she could recognize.

“Terrorizing humans now, Starscream?” it taunted. “Can’t say I’m surprised, you always were one to sink so low.”

The first robot, Starscream, apparently, snarled in outrage. “Pathetic Autobot!” it roared, and oh, so this newcomer was Autobot?

Except, from the two names she’d heard already, that didn’t sound like the type of name these robots seemed to have. She did notice the little face badges they wore, the white bot bearing a red one proudly on its shoulders while the jet robot wore a smaller, pointier face on its chest. So maybe those had something to do with the whole ‘Autobot’ thing? Hell if she knew. Sierra was clever, and she’d always been good at puzzles and mystery solving, but she didn’t have enough information for this whole…thing.

“I’m not the one who’s picking on defenseless humans, ‘Con!” the car robot barked, smirking at the skinnier jet.

The jet only snarled, lifting an arm that she was just noticing had a freaking missile attached to it, and the white robot stilled briefly, before shooting her a frantic look and oh, would you look at that, she seemed to be right in the blast radius of the missile, and oh god she was going to die-

Except, there was that shifting sound again, but much larger, and then car robot was leaping towards her. It hit the ground in car form, it’s driver door open as it slid sideways in her direction, and then she was swept up into it and the door slammed shut. Tires squealed, and then they were peeling away to the sound of a missile screaming and impacting where they had been a half second before. The jet roared in outrage, but the car robot was speeding straight towards civilization, and it seemed to want to avoid that because when she glanced at the rear view mirror she saw it leap into the sky and transform before flying away.

Sierra slowly sat up from her ungainly sprawl, pulling the seatbelt across her chest on reflex before sitting back against the driver’s seat and wheezing. Her heartbeat, which she only just noticed had been thundering wildly in her chest, started to slowly calm, and she had to force herself to take deep, even breaths to keep herself from hyperventilating.

Now, Sierra wasn’t an irrational girl. She was among the top students of all her classes, she was smart, she knew a lot about various topics, and she had a good understanding of how people worked. She was clever, she knew she had a good head on her shoulders. She kept some of her interests closer to her chest, and she played the good, polite, quiet girl for the adults, because she wasn’t without manners, thank you very much. All that meant, though, was that she wasn’t prone to screaming in terror and running like a madman when she was freaked out by something. She would prefer to understand something rather than be irrationally terrified of it.

This, though? This was a bit much, even for her. As her heartbeat calmed, a sense of nausea built in her throat. “Excuse me, robot?” she squeaked. She wasn’t even sure if she could communicate with it while it was in car mode, but it was worth a shot.

“It’s Smokescreen.”

What?

“What?”

“My name is Smokescreen. Not “robot”.”

It sounded miffed. Which, okay. That was fair. If someone called her just “human” she’d probably be upset too. Hell, she had been upset when that other one, Starscream, had called her a “fleshling”. Smokescreen’s voice also sounded very male, and she paused before asking.

“And you’re not an “it” either, then?”

“No, I’m a mech.” A pause. “Uh, a male, by your definitions.”

“Okay. Smokescreen. Well, I’m Sierra, and as grateful as I am for your rescue you should really, really stop and let me out. Humans don’t handle extreme stress very well and I’m about to be sick.”

“Sick?”

Oh god, did robots even get sick?

“I’m about to vomit. Which means I am very close to expelling internal body waste, and it will be right in your seats if you don’t let me out so I can barf behind some rocks.” she informed him tightly, fighting down a gag.

There was a brief moment if silence as Smokescreen seemed to process her words, before he turned off the side of the road, drove behind some rocks, and popped open the door. “Please don’t be sick in me.” Oh, now he sounded sick. Sierra felt a little bad.

She didn’t say anything to that, instead stumbling out of the car and out of sight, before promptly bending over and tossing her breakfast. She gagged on bile, and after a moment of pause to make sure there was nothing left in her stomach, she stood and made her way back to where Smokescreen was waiting. She pulled her water bottle from her bag, taking a sip and washing out her mouth with it before spitting it to the side, and then she proceeded to drink everything left in the bottle. She tucked it away, turning to her impromptu ride, and opened her mouth to speak, when-.

“Oh slag.” He beat her to the punch.

She was confused, recognizing that as a curse of some sort, and then she heard the beeping from his radio.

“Um, hold on for a minute, alright? I gotta take this.” He sounded anxious, and didn’t give her a chance to answer before there was a click as he did just that.

She heard muffled noises over the radio, though she couldn’t make out the words being said.

“Um, yeah. There was a ‘Con signal. I was close so I checked it out.”

More radio noises, angry sounding ones.

“I know, I know! But I was closest and no one would pick up their comm. so I thought I should st least check it out! It was a good thing too, Starscream was there and he was about to snatch up a human!”

A pause, and then an explosion of garbled noise from the radio. Sierra got the feeling that Smokescreen was wincing.

“Well what was I supposed to do? Let her be taken? Plus she’d already seen him so it wasn’t like seeing me was going to do much damage!”

A growling noise, followed by a hiss of static.

“Yes, Ratchet. I know. And I am sorry, alright! I know I went against code again but if I had waited a human would’ve been in Deception hands and as new as I am to this planet, even I know that’s bad!”

Wait, planet? Was this giant ass robot an actual alien? That…honestly made sense. With that day she’d had, she wasn’t even surprised. Smokescreen was still having his discussion with…whoever was on the other end.

“Yes, I’ll bring her back to base. I’m not going to apologize for saving her, though.”

More angry static.

“Yeah yeah. I get it.”

He sounded tired, defeated. Sierra felt bad, and wondered what was being said to make him sound like that when he’d been so bright before.

“No, you don’t need to send a ground bridge. I’m close to the base anyway. I’ll be there soon.”

There was a click as Smokescreen disconnected from whoever called him, and then she could tell he was talking to her when he spoke next. “Mind hopping in? I gotta bring you back to base. The boss can explain everything. I promise you won’t be hurt or anything.”

Sierra hesitated for a moment, then sighed. She knew she probably shouldn’t, but at this point what was the harm? Besides, her gut instinct was telling her that, based on what that Starscream character had said about Jack, she wouldn’t have to worry about being hurt. Not if Darby spent all his free time around these weird alien robots and came back fine. Mind decided, she slipped into the car’s open door. It shut on its own, and she buckled herself in once more.

“Thanks.” He sounded grateful. And then he was driving off.

He wasn’t saying anything, and neither was Sierra, and she let herself be alone with her thoughts. They drove for a while, and Sierra let herself enjoy the landscape that passed by Smokescreen’s window. He really was a nice ride, she mused. Sleek and fast, and his engine purred quietly as he drove along the highway. She didn’t know much about cars, but she knew his car mode was a good one.

Soon enough, they were coming towards a large mesa. Smokescreen drove right toward its side, not even slowing as he approached, Sierra tensed, about to protest, when a previously invisible door opened in the rock face. She shut her mouth, her eyes blowing wide. Oh. That explained that. Their base was hidden in plain sight. Which…she supposed was fitting, for alien robots who disguised themselves as cars and jets. Smokescreen took them through a tunnel, and then they were coming into a large central chamber. Sierra peeked out if the window to see two other robots there. One, stocky and painted in red and white. The other…was absolutely massive. He towered above the red and white bot, and she had a feeling he’d tower over Smokescreen too. He was broad as he was tall, with wide shoulders and a heavy looking chest, his metal armor painted in red and blue. Sierra didn’t know how she knew, but she just knew that this large one was a he, a mech, as Smokescreen had said.

The door at her side popped open, and after brief hesitation she unbuckled herself and stood up. There was that sound of transformation behind her, and she glanced back to see Smokescreen rising to his feet in his robot mode. Then a voice spoke and she snapped her head around to see the large bot speaking.

“Greetings, young one. My name is Optimus Prime. My companion is Ratchet, and you have already met Smokescreen.”

Ratchet. That’s who Smokescreen had been talking to earlier. “I’m Sierra.” she said after a moment. “Sierra O’Niell.”

Optimus tilted his head downwards in her direction. “May I inquire why Starscream was attempting to abduct you, if you know?”

“You’re very polite.” she remarked dryly. “He said something about wanting to use me to get to Jack Darby, so that he could in turn use Jack to get to the “Autobots”. I’m guessing that’s you guys?”

Optimus shared a look with Ratchet, then looked back at her. “Indeed. Myself and my team are Autobots. Starscream is a Decepticon. Our factions are enemies, I am afraid.” he explained. “We are not from your world, Sierra O’Niell. We hail from a planet called Cybertron. Our two factions were at War on our home, and that War destroyed our world. The Deceptions came here, searching for energon, and we have followed them to keep them from destroying your planet and it’s people in their quest for it.”

Sierra turned that over. She’d guessed they weren’t from Earth, so that wasn’t a surprise. The rest of the information was new, though. And appreciated. “What’s energon? And how does Jack fit into all this?”

Optimus sighed. “Energon is an energy source, and the very lifeblood of every Cybertronian.” he explained. “It is a natural resource that was once common on our home, and somehow Earth too produces it in great abundance.” he explained. “Jackson, Miko, and Raphael became involved with us by accident. They were seen with my Autobots when they mistakenly were pulled into a battle with the Decepticons, and the Decepticons assumed they were our allies. In order to protect them, we took them under our watch and guard to ensure they could not be harmed.”

So, Esquivel and Nakadai were part of this too. She shouldn’t be surprised. She’d seen the cars that picked those two up, now that she thought of it. Speaking of which….

“Jack’s motorcycle is an Autobot, isn’t it? And Miko and Raphael’s cars?”

Optimus hummed. “Indeed. Arcee, Bumblee, and Bulkhead were the ones to initially partner with and save the children in that first encounter. After they were brought into the fold, it made only sense to assign them as their Autobot guardians.”

Sierra nodded as she took that all in. Then she frowned. “I’m involved now too, aren’t I? I would have been involved regardless, if the Decepticons were really after me, but Smokescreen saving me just means my involvement is going to be more pleasant than it otherwise would have been.”

Optimus and Ratchet shared yet another look, before casting their gazes to Smokescreen. The white bot fidgeted under their combined stares, head ducking and looking uncomfortable. “While we are not pleased that the youngling acted on impulse and charged into battle against protocol, we are pleased that he saved your life, young Sierra.” Optimus said after a moment.

Sierra blinked. “Youngling.” she repeated in confusion. Then she narrowed her eyes. “You’re not getting him into trouble for saving me, are you?” she asked heatedly. The very idea insulted her.

Optimus twitched as if startled, then rumbled a soft chuckle. “Youngling, yes. It is a term used by Cybertronians to refer to those of us who are not yet fully grown. Smokescreen is the equivalent of a human teenager.” he explained. “And worry not. In this instance, we can overlook the breach in regulations. It would send a poor message to punish a bot for upholding the Autobot creed.”

Sierra relaxed at that, nodding. Then she narrowed her eyes. “I’m going to want to have a discussion with you later about why you’re letting teenagers fight in a war, but I know now isn’t the time.” she said threateningly.

Both older bots startled back and her tone and words, and Smokescreen squeaked from behind her. She turned and drew a harsh line across her mouth before he could say anything, and she watched as he stared, slack-jawed, before closing his mouth with an audible clack. That done, she returned her attention to the apparent leader. There was one more thing she wanted settled.

“You said the others got guardians, right?”

A nod.

“Well, if I’m going to need one, and something tells me I will, then I want this one.” she jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Smokescreen.

Optimus’s eyes narrowed in what she realized was a faint smile. “If Smokescreen agrees, then I have no issues with that.” he hummed. “All I ask is that you remain here until our liaison with the human government arrives. Agent Fowler will want to discuss some matters with you before you return home.”

Sierra blinked. So the government knew about all this. That was good to know. It meant she wouldn’t get in trouble for conspiring with aliens if it ever came to light. She could also understand why they kept this whole thing a secret, even if governments hiding things from the public wasn’t always a good thing. In this case, it was a good thing.

“As long as I’m home before my curfew.” she agreed.

Another bow of that great head, and then Optimus was turning to stride away. Presumably to make contact with this Fowler. That left her and Smokescreen with Ratchet.

The stocky bot glanced at them, then turned to that odd console she’d noticed earlier. “Smokescreen will show you around.” Was all he said, waving them away with a dismissive flip of his hand.

Sierra, taking that as her cue, turned to the youngest bot. She thrust out her hand. “What do you say? Partners?”

He seemed confused, before slowly crouching and extending his hand to tap a finger to her palm. “Yeah, sure.” he seemed a little awed that she’d want to partner with him.

She smiled. “Good. In that case, why don’t you give me a ride and show me around your base?”

Smokescreen seemed confused. “Ride?”

“On your shoulder. I’d like to see it from your perspective.”

He blinked, then shrugged and put his hand, palm up, on the floor. Sierra took that as her que to climb up, and he carefully transferred her to his shoulder. Cool. Very cool. She just wanted to ride on the giant alien robot, and now she got to. That was cool.

She saw him look at her out of the corner of his bright, shining blue eyes, and she smiled warmly. “Well? Show me around your home, big guy. I’d like to get to know you.”

Smokescreen perked up, the little protrusions on his back wiggling with his apparent joy, and Sierra grinned a little wider. Oh, he was cute. How a giant robot could be endearing, she didn’t know, but he did it. He was sort of like a puppy. A giant, metal, alien puppy. She held on as he started walking, and she listened with half an ear, processing and noting what he told her as the rest of her mind turned over the events of her day.

It had been stressful, and scary, but now that it was all done and she was fine…

‘Yeah.’ she thought, watching her new partner eagerly show her around the small, hidden base he called home. ‘I think I’m gonna like it here.’

———————————————————————————————————

And that was that! I hoped you like it! It was fun to write. The show didn’t give Sierra a last name or a real personality, so I had to kind of do that bit myself. And I was right! I did enjoy writing this. The prompt inspired me to write this faster than I thought I’d be able to. I do not expect to be able to fill a prompt this quickly again. Unfortunately. Also, Sierra is definitely going to be the straight man to Smokescreen. He’s going to need it. Badly.

Until next time, friends!

[cheesecaketyrant]

Hello all! I would like to take the time to say; Thank you to: (Unfortunately I can't tag them! But they are known as shockwavefan and as well Soundwave - I'm not sure if I do have them on Tumbler or not!) @artsy-archangel @zen-drift! Y'all are amazing!

Now, I tried to clean it as best to my abilities in the form of RP format.

I did realize that for the cover is not quite accurate. But that's okay! (There were few mistakes in the last post; Shockwave was the one who killed Megatron, not Optimus Prime)

I'll be posting these as Chapters and Parts. Anywho I'm sure some of y'all been waiting for the next post- so.. here!

Oh boy, this starting to look quite interesting!

Chapter:1- All Hail Shockwave

(Part:1-2)

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Shockwave saw that his people were cheering, he looked at his experiment, no one could read Shockwaves mind. Not even those who have worked closely with him for years know. He walked down the steps, his metallic feet hitting the ground with each step.

After a few hours since he had left the stage, he was underground. Shockwave was once again his old self, the senator long ago was gone; the leader they know now is fake. He became leader as a way to have access to more tools. On the table lied a Cybertronian, a Decepticon, he screamed in agony but they never reached their destination. After enough energon had leaked the victim stopped screaming. Behind Shockwave were multiple dripping bodies of Decepticons hanging upside down. Shockwave, the terror which spread through the Autobot army was back, only he wasn't affiliated with anyone but logic.

--------

Today wasn't the best of all days as a sudden riot began however this wasn't the first that has happened. Prowl has come to an assumption that someone is starting the mods on purpose therefore he's been sending in the authorites to investigate. Later, situations got worse when Decepticons came Archangel's office reporting missing friends that haven't returned to their homes for awhile. He assured them he'll handle the investigation and they left in high hopes they'll have their friends back.

Archangel sighed as he laid back againts his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose as he closed his optics. Everything seemed to be getting worse however some events were to be expected but not missing bots.

A knock on his door interrupted Archangel's thoughts. "Come in." He responded as he fixed his serious composer.

Prowl entered with a datapad in his servo. "My team has discovered the culprit behind the sudden riots." Prowl told him. "Ratbat has been planning a scheme however its unknown what his intentions are."

"Ratbat was a Decepticon..."

"Of course you would know that given your past. Was isn't the right word for it: he " is" a Decepticon. He's proven to still be loyal to the dead cause." Prowl interrupted him and handed Archangel the datapad. "While I deal with Ratbat, I need you to inform Shockwave about the energon supplies. We've been getting reports of cannibalism in the streets and the percentage of casualties is high."

Archangel straighten and his servo tightened against the datapad in reaction to what Prowl wanted him to do. Was he testing him again?

"I'll... Be sure he's aware of the problems." He said in a serious tone, hiding his sudden dread.

"Good. Send me a report when you are finish." Prowl said as he left.

Archangel slumped in his seat more and groaned from stress. "Primus give me strength." He whispered.

Through that whole conversation, Prowl didn't give Archangel a moment to speak. Yes he knew how much the mech disliked him but this was peculiar. Also asking him to deal with Shockwave was definitely really low since Prowl was aware of his past. He was planning something and Archangel wasn't sure he wanted to play his game.

-----------

Drift gazed at the datapad in his servo, optics ridges scrunched together in a frown as the latest census showed that instead of an increase in their clients in the housing, some area were showing a drop in numbers. Odd. He placed that datapad aside and pulled up the records for the previous counts. The decrease was there but very marginal. Enough to be explained away by miscount or simply some bots just up and leaving their designated housing, moving in with others or goodness knows what else. He had had to deal with a fair number of strange reasons that bots just didn't stay put. But this was beginning to look like a pattern or maybe his war-wired brain module was trying to put a more sinister twist to what could just be perfectly normal situation. Yet his tanks gave that curious twist that he always trust and he simple knew that something was up.

But who could he turn to? He could try his Senior Officer but he also didn't want to come across as being paranoid. Primus knew his religious habits already earned his strange looks despite most bots being really good natured about it, some even being interested. his old friends were...dispersed. At one time he felt he could trust Ratchet above all, but the mech had thrown in his lot and time with Shockwave now. And it made sense, The CMO was always aligned with a leader.

Drift rubbed his helf crest and stared at the numbers again. He didn't know anything beyond them and a tank feeling. It wasn't enough to go on. He needed to start doing some ground work. Subtly of course, since he didn't need to start a panic. He was no Jazz but he was a fairly decent interrogator. Maybe he could start with the Police Reports. See if there were any notices for missing bots and if those names matched the ones in his register.

He vented out and picked up the datapad again. He had really hoped things would be different this time around but it seemed that it wasn't going to happy crystals. A mech poked his head in. "Drift, we got another riot happening, this time a bit closer to the recent bot settlement. Some of them are demanding relocation. Boss wants you on it!" Drift nodded, out of his chair even before the mech finished speaking. "I got it," he said, shiting to bot mode and heading to the scene of the now dispersed riot. A tall blue Seeker frame caught his optic as he arrived. "Archangel?" he mouthed to himself but the Seeker was swallowed up by the crowd work and his duties and Drift had his own to attend to. He made a mental note to check and see if that was indeed the Seeker he knew. The frightened group of mech and femmes huddled together as he approached.

"Hello, my name is Drift. Im from the Immigration Center. I'm here to attend to your issues," he began giving them a smile. "We need to get away from this!" a femme blurted out in a high pitch whine of her vocalizer, "We didn't come back to be in more war!" Drift shifted to modulate his vocalizer to soothing but firm tone. "I understand that and unfortunately I cannot relocate you to another sector. However, lets go inside and I can let you know how to make this place a bit safer for all of you. The Police as you see also got this under control. Trust us to do our jobs. We will make this better." The group huffed but led the way into their housing, Drift following behind them, hoping he was right.

-----------

The war was over. Cyberton was in an odd state. Shockwave was leader, the Decepticons and Autobots were scattered. You could even say they were shattered factions. (Roll credits.) The two factions in the war now needed to find a way to co-exist somehow. Putting that dreadful war behind would not be easy. The Decepticons' leader, Megatron, had unfortunately ceased functioning. Killed by that traitor, Shockwave. Soundwave would rip out that traitor's spark if he had the chance. But the Decepticons were not fully lost. They were nowhere near their previous power, however. They had much fewer numbers, not as strong a fighting force, and they had a leader who could not even hope to amount to what Megatron did.

Soundwave was only there because he had nowhere else to go. He would almost certainly be executed for the things he had done during the war. So he stayed with the army that the previous Second In Command of the faction had gathered. Starscream. It would certainly take getting used to. Starscream is not the leader Megatron was. But perhaps that could change with time. Soundwave would have to stick around to see that happen, and stick around he would.

----------

He was fuming, any bot that was an inch from him got shoved out of the way, and others, well they got thrown. It was very typical of Starscream when he threw a tantrum, to flick pain on others.

Being treated like the under dog for so long, he had picked up habits, and mold them.

But, this time was different- his attacks were more brutal then the normal. Starscream wasn't sure who gave the cadet the go to scout energon, with out a group. Something was off, Starscream couldn't put a digit on what.

Turning on the communication, the channel had been switched to private- just in case any was listening in. Had pinged in Soundwave, :'Find out who on Primus gave authority for a one bot solo mission, on finding energon!' Starscream said, almost half shouting, leaving his comm open for Soundwave response.

Takeing a sharp left turn, the Seeker stomped with each step. Dearing anyone to stop him, behind him was the sound of petter patter steps from small peds that came from none other then Rattrap, "Sir! Please slow down!" Stopping in his tracks, Starscream spun around, his servos now propped onto his his. "Did you already taken care of that mess?" The new Warlord said, in a demanding tone, rushing the mechanic vermin.

"Yes, Mord! I did what you've asked of me-" without giving him any further ado, Starscream turned back around and started to walk again in big strides. However it didn't seem like Rattrap was finished, "I need to talk to you! About Cybertron-" with this Starscream stopped in his tracks.

"Speak, and make it fast." The once Second in command command, not giving any room for small chit chat. "Well, uh. There's been reports- about disappearing bots back on home." Rattrap paused, in order for Starscream to react. "Witch fractions?"

"If my calculation and resources are correct- both." Rattrap held a datapad in his servos, clutching onto it as if it was his life line.

"Is that so, Then tell me, whose your resources, and how did you found about this?" Rattrap began to shift his pedes looking nervous. "The mech you killled-"

"Finish your report, then once your done leave the data in my quarters. Once done, bring up the dead bots profile- see what's all on his background history!" Starscream shouted, by now- he was more mad at himself to act upon reckless thoughts and actions, which made his mood even more sour.

Rattrap better prayed to the all spark, that this was just some miscalculation- rumors no less. If not- Starscream had more on his servos then that a war he was sure he was going to lose.

---------------

Drip, drip, drip. That was all that could be heard in the lab, Shockwave was collecting it; it's unknown for what reason but it seemed important. To the side was a whole diagram of the standard Cybertronian anatomy, there were beakers everywhere. To his right was a list of Decepticons and their pictures, most were all crossed out except three, Soundwave, Starscream, and Archangel. His experiment betrayed him, now was the perfect time to strike. At the bottom of the list was Megatron, his first victim, this was all part of the plan to save Cybertron. After a few hours had passed underneath the lab, he walked out into the barren wasteland which was Kaon.

|The Office|

Shockwave made sure he didn't have any energon on him, he didn't want to arouse suspicion to his actions. He landed, waving to his secretary, his fake persona was just to be clear. He walked up to his office, he sat down in his chair. Moments after, his secretary called. "Mr. Shockwave, you have a visitor from the Police Department, someone called Archangel." Shockwave was surprised, why would he want to see him? "Bring him up, we'll have a talk."

----------

Archangel was waiting in the lobby as the secretary contacted Shockwave of his arrival. He scowled as he wished the bot would call him by his rank as he introduced himself before but it seemed to have slipped their processor.

"He's waiting for you now, Archangel. He's at the top floor." She told him.

Archangel bowed his helm respectfully as he hid his sudden dread. "Thank you." He said before he walked past the counter and entered the lift. He pressed the top floor option on the lift's console and the hatch slid shut in response and began to ascend.

Archangel's servos clenched tightly as he grew tense and tried the venting technique Rung taught him to calm him down, however his emotions were overwhelming which deterred his efforts to relax. Despite his failure, he hid how he felt rather well as he remained stern as soon as the lift came to a stop. The hatch opened into Shockwave's office. The large purple mech was sitting at his desk and seeing him again made Archangel feel sick in his fuel tank.

"Commander Archangel of Iacon's Police Department. I have dire reports that acquire your attention." He said seriously as he placed the datapad on his desk. "We've been having multiple cases involving cannibalism in the streets due to lack of energon supplies. The public wants actions regarding the issues before they manifest into more riots."

[spockandawe]

Relationship: Deadlock/Tarn

Rating: Teen

Words: 1065

Warnings: Alcohol

AO3

It’s been much too long since I wrote silly things.

--

When you leave your meeting with Megatron, you end up aimlessly wandering the halls of the base, still wound so tight from cycles of tension that you’re almost shaking, but also trying to process the rush of exhilaration, of success. You hardly know what to do with yourself, but you eventually decide that you need some way to pass the time, and the least you can do is buy yourself some engex to celebrate. Nice engex.

You’re just browsing the assortment of blends on offer when you hear a shouted, “Damus!” from behind you. It isn’t precisely a surprise to see Deadlock here, not with soldiers gathering for a new deployment, but you weren’t expecting him. And he’s someone who will appreciate the news you have to share. You exchange mindless hellos with him as you pick out bottles of the most expensive engex on offer, enough for two mechs, and after you make your purchase, you invite him to spend the night in your quarters. It isn’t precisely unusual, not when the two of you are stationed in the same place during a lull in the fighting, so it isn’t a surprise when he agrees, but you’re still pleased.

You’ve made your way through two bottles of engex and are starting on a third when you decide to raise the topic. You might have done it when you were a little less drunk, but your struts are still humming with tension, and you’re still almost frozen between the desire to tell everybody and to tell nobody. At this point, Deadlock is lying half on top of you, so you can’t actually see his face, which makes it a little easier when you slowly say, “That new project.”

“With Megatron?” He laughs. “The big one? I heard Crossfire going off about it. Whining about how his meeting got cancelled to make way for some low-ranking nobody.”

You skip taking offense at that, because Crossfire will have plenty of reason to think differently of you in the very near future. “It got approved.” You’re grinning, and really you ought to comport yourself with more dignity, especially now, but you just can’t stop yourself.

Deadlock slides off your back and lands heavily on the berth so he can get a better look at you. You take the engex from him before he can spill it everywhere. He doesn’t seem to notice, only says, “Primus. Tell me everything. It has to be good if it’s making you smile like that.”

You aren’t making the news public just yet—Megatron wants you to get final approval from Soundwave before you implement anything, and some of the details still might change—but you can still outline the broad strokes for Deadlock. The concept isn’t complicated, just a specialized strike force meant to maintain order and enforce loyalty at all levels in the army. Not just a group to go out and achieve measurable, concrete results, but an idea that will take on a life of its own, even when you aren’t right there to reinforce it. Of course, those concrete results are still important, and as of today, you’ve received not only permission to create this group, but also to use real—lethal—force.

Deadlock is grinning with delight before you’re even halfway done, and when you finish, he flops onto his back, both hands over his face, laughing.

“That’s perfect,” he gasps. “That means— All those deserters—?”

“To be executed,” you say, perhaps the slightest bit smug.

“Amazing. But what happened to, you know. The thing. The— whatever. Megatron’s plan to something something win deserters over again so they come back with Autobot intelligence?”

With some satisfaction, you say, “Gone. It takes too long to see results, and the ones who do come limping back were never trusted enough to come back with decent information anyways.”

He takes the engex bottle back from you and nods. “And the numbers? Or— whatever you want to call it.”

“I persuaded Megatron that strategic use of MTO reserves would be a much more effective and reliable way to stay ahead of the Autobots, especially since we’re talking about mechs who have already proven once that they aren’t trustworthy.” It was wonderful. You had charts.

“Nice. Yeah, I can’t see anything you missed.”

You pause. “Megatron did insist on there being— some kind of list he could access. And edit. Of future targets. So we wouldn’t eliminate anyone who was, you know, sent in for actual espionage work. Or if he decides that someone’s usefulness outweighs the treason.”

Deadlock makes a face, but doesn’t argue. “I guess.”

You pluck the engex out of his hand and take a drink. “Once it’s finalized, I just need to pull together a team. Something small and efficient, so we can work quickly.”

He steals the engex back, nodding thoughtfully. “So if it’s a small team, they’re going to have to be strong— no point in doing this if you can’t actually take out your targets. And best if it looks fast and easy. Hm. I don’t suppose Sixshot or Black Shadow or any of them are on the table?”

“Sadly, no,” you sigh. “I did ask.” You hesitate for a moment, but roll onto your side to face Deadlock and reach out to place a hand on his waist. “Though… I did have a few candidates in mind.”

It takes him a few nanokliks to understand—in all fairness, both of you are very drunk right now—but then his optics go wide and a grin spreads across his face. “Me?”

“I’d be honored,” you tell him. “You have everything I’m looking for. Deadly, loyal, dedicated, with a well-earned reputation—”

Given the rest of the conversation, you are rather expecting an immediate acceptance. But Deadlock pauses, an odd look on his face. He hands you the engex and rolls onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. There’s silence for a long moment, and you set the bottle on the table next to your berth, trying not to be offended.

Finally he turns back to you and sighs. “It sounds amazing. Seriously. But— my real passion is killing Autobots, y’know?”

All of your offense evaporates in a moment. You blame the engex, but you have to reset your vocalizer before you can talk and your voice still sounds a bit choked as you tell him, “That’s beautiful.”

“Bro,” he says, reaching out to grip your shoulder.

Without even thinking about it, you grip his shoulder in return. “I respect that.”

You’re moved. And you think Deadlock is too, from the way he resets his optics twice in quick succession. You will absolutely blame the engex if anybody asks, but right now you are absolutely overflowing with love for the Decepticon cause.

And now you hardly know what to say, but at least you think Deadlock is in a similar position. He nods at you, and more softly this time, he says, “Bro.”

You nod solemnly back at him and simply echo, “Bro.”

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 14: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: Just give me a fucking accurate irreducible Minimus!

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I’m Owls!

S: And I’m Specs!

O: And today we’re gonna be talking about episode number 14: Countdown to Extinction. Let’s talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah.

O: Last time on the Transformers, Megatron was defeated but he’s left earth in ruins.

S: Like a really bad frat party.

O: More robot frat parties. First heard here, folks.

S: Or the aftermath of a frat party.

O: [laughter] Something like that.

S: Yeah.

O: Back on earth, we see the Autobots helping rebuild infrastructure around, like, dams. There’s so many dams in the show.

S: Dams-

O: Bridges.

S: Cities, bridges.

O: Yeah, that kind of stuff.

S: And under the ocean, in the Decepticon base, Rumble and Skywarp are bitching at each other.

O: Skywarp calls Rumble a “metallic mini-meatball.”

S: How does he know what a meatball is? And, like, we literally had to go back and rewatch that because it was, like, was that actually what he said?

O: It was, in fact, actually what he said. Skywarps slaps Rumble into, like, a computer panel and Thundercracker picks up Rumble afterwards. And Rumble is so small in comparison, he looks kind of like a weird Cybertronian doll.

S: Soundwave then throws some serious shade of the Seekers.

O: Holding two sparking wires while doing so and what I assume must have been a threatening way because they hit his child.

S: Baaaaasically. Who knows, it could be fanon, could be canon, who knows?

O: Nobody knows.

S: And then Frenzy pops out of a hole.

O: FRENZY! This is Frenzy’s first appearance and Frenzy’s here! Look at more of my cassette children! Look at them everywhere!

S: [Laughter] Then Skywarp is a dick to Frenzy, too, trying to step on him. I mean when isn’t Skywarp being a dick?

O: I mean, yeah. Frenzy proceeds to throw him across the room and then Rumble jumps on Skywarp’s face and starts punching him.

S: As one does.

O: And this! This is what Megatron walks in on. One of his Seekers on the ground getting beat up by a cassette.

S: You know that gif? With the guy with a pizza box walking in and then everything’s on fire? I think that’s from Community. I’m not sure, but that’s basically this only less horrified and more super annoyed.

O: [Muffled Laughter]

S: All the Decepticons here are like, “Holy fuck, you’re alive!”

O: And Megatron’s like, “I’ve only lost the starship, not the war.” I feel like they all just sort of jointly looked around and were like, “Oh shit, dad’s home.”

S: More or less. Megatron’s got those zingers. Those zinger lines. But he’s definitely the dad. Or he fulfills that role- it’s weird.

O: Look, he fills the same role to the Decepticons that Optimus fills to the Autobots. He’s just more of a dick about it. Then again, you see what he’s got to work with and you almost don’t blame him.

S: Yeah, the other Decepticons let their glorious leader know that Starscream has taken off with Dr. Arkeville.

O: Megatron’s unhappy about this.

S: So what Soundwave does, is he records everything so he has a recording to playback of Starscream being a conniving bastard while talking to the doctor.

O: Yes, he does which is how Megatron learns they’re going to Dr. Evil’s secret lab.

S: As one does. Because of course this evil doctor has a secret lab.

O: It’s the eighties! [Laughter]

S: Just wait till you see the secret lab, folks.

O: You’ll be incredibly underwhelmed!

S: Yeah. Meanwhile back at the Autobot base, Wheeljack’s got their surveillance back up and they see the Decepticons flying off.

O: And now you know what the show was famous for after that ten-second interlude, we’re now back with, uh Starscream and Dr. Arkeville. They arrive at Dr. Arkeville’s hidden lab.

S: The most badly disguised secret lab, ever. There is literally a freakin doorstep.

O: A doorstep that goes up to a mountain. [Laughter] That like, there’s clearly this like square that’s been cut into the rock, like you can see the edge.

S: Yeah, it’s like it’s in a mountainside and then there’s just this big-ass boulder.

O: Pretty much.

S: Arkeville gets catty with Starscream and then the doctor says that he must use a voice command to open the lab.

O: And Starscream’s like, “Then activate your mouth!”

S: And, of course, the genius scientist uses the absolutely lamest code ever, shouting, “Open Sesame!” at the side of the mountain after, like, stroking his own ego.

O: Yes! And I love it because Starscream is just fucking dry and sarcastic here. It is wonderful.

S: Apparently Decepticons know about A Thousand and One Arabian Nights. So, yeah.

O: And then Starscream just chucks the door down a nearby ravine.

S: Yeah, there goes that boulder. I guess you’re not closing that door anymore Dr. Arkeville.

O: [Laughter] Like, I’m still not really sure why he did this, other than to be an asshole.

S: He just.

O: He’s a very done with Dr. Evil’s shit.

S: Starscream just has a quota to meet-

O: Alright.

S: Let’s face it.

O: Quota of cattiness.

S: Apparently, the Doctor’s made an exponential generator, warning Starscream not to mess with it or it’ll blow up the Earth. Because, apparently-

O: This is what he does in his spare time.

S: He just makes things that can produce unending energy and he doesn’t do shit with it.

O: Of course not. You couldn’t, you know, I don’t know. Um, patent that shit and be a bajillionaire. Anyway! Then, we have, and I counted, literally a 23 second interlude to check in with our other idiots. The Decepticons see the Autobots following them and the remaining two Seekers attack and then it cuts back to Starscream.

S: And back with Starscream, he’s apparently made a bomb. Out of the doctor’s energy generator thing.

O: The word interface comes up here in Starscream’s explanation. If you’re familiar with the fandom I suspect you just giggled despite it clearly not being related to what’s happening here.

S: And if you don’t know what we’re talking about, treasure your ignorance, please treasure your ignorance.

O: And don’t blame us if you look it up. [Laughter]

S: Please don’t look it up. Please don’t. Starscream intends to blow up the entire Earth and gather the energy created from the explosion which seems really wasteful. I mean, there’s an entire sun that he could just use. Fucking solar panels.

O: You’re right but I would like to comment that Starscream is actually using Earth time units here when he’s talking to the doctor. None of that astro-seconds crap, because he tells the doctor that the Earth will explode in about eight hours.

S: He’s better at picking up local time terminology than the goddamn Autobots are.

O: Uh-huh.

S: I don’t know whether to feel vaguely pleased about this or really annoyed. I don’t know.

O: I can- I can be both things at once.

S: I’m gonna go with the writers are just inconsistent.

O: Yes.

S: And having a weird ass day. So the Doctor is pretty, super pissed about this. Or super, pretty pissed or something.

O: [Laughter]

S: So the Doc’s pretty pissed about this but then Starscream’s, like, too bad, you’re coming with me to Cybertron so you can’t mess with my maniacal plans because I know what you’re like. You’re like me!

O: [Laugher] A conniving bastard! Apparently, Starscream had enough air in his cockpit to last Dr. Arkeville the entire jaunt back to Cybertron.

S: Which! I have a lot of questions. I mean, how is there even oxygen on Cybertron? There’s no plant life and, I guess, how long did it take Starscream to get there? And I think, actually, I think you came up with an answer for that.

O: I can’t remember what it was but I want to say it showed the bomb timer. And then we saw the timer again right after they had landed on Cybertron, so it took a couple of hours. Like, I want to say it like took two or three hours cuz me and you were laughing and we’re like, oh my god, it took about as long to get to Cybertron as it takes to fly across the U.S.

S: Yeah, which doesn’t really say anything about the, um, the distance or speed Starscream was going because he’s a goddamn space jet. Who knows how far away Cybertron is?

O: Decepticons and Autobots begin fighting properly as we cut back to them, again.

S: And then because of course he does Megatron tiptoes up behind Optimus Prime and then jumps on him.

O: And not in the fun way! I’m so sad.

S: [Sighs] Megatron and Optimus fight. Like, getting thrown around in the process.

O: Then Optimus picks up Megatron and I swear he’s touching his butt. He then chucks him into a shallow pond that’s somewhat nearby,

S: And after that bit of a dip Megatron’s dignity seems to have taken a bit of a hit and he orders a retreat, Like, it’s been a wash to his ego.

O: Clearly. And the Autobots continue to follow them, even after they’ve taken off from the ground.

S: Starscream arrives on Cybertron and he completely and totally is lying to a super confused Shockwave.

O: Yeah. Basically he tells him Megatron’s dead.

S: Super dead.

O: Shockwave’s not super happy with a human being brought in his vicinity, either.

S: Shockwave has gotten beaten up every single time he’s seen a human so, to be fair, this is a valid reaction.

O: I think so. So when Starscream tells Shockwave that Megatron is dead. Let me cram all those names into that one sentence, yes. Uh, he basically says something, something about how he’s the leader of the Decepticons now. And he pulls out a Decepticon badge here? From nowhere? I don’t- like, it literally looks like a goddamn police badge that’s on, like, a white thing and he holds it out. I don’t know where this came from or why he has it.

S: Maybe they just all keep Decepticon badges on them like that for, like. I don’t know. Repair purposes or if they’ve gotta–

O: He’s got two of them on his wings. Does he really need a third?

S: Maybe if his wing gets damaged or it has to be replaced? Because apparently they didn’t- like, on one of the early episodes, they were just, like, scavenging for, like, plane parts? To repair each other? Or something?

O: Yeah, you’re right.

S: Or I mean, heck, maybe for recruiting people because, I mean, where did they come up with the, um, the badge for Skyfire?

O: I don’t even know. [Laughter]

S: Who knows? Who knows? Let’s get back to this, because we got a bit sidetracked. Shocky claims Megatron cannot be dead as he’s indestructible, which so far-

O: Which, if you remember last time, I feel like we have conclusively proven he is indeed indestructible if an explosion that could move an entire planet could not kill him.

S: Yeah. Seems- yeah.

O: The Doctor then tries to stop Starscream from collecting the energy from Earth’s destruction but gets badly hurt as the control console he tries to do this at shocks him.

S: Because, apparently, anti-human measures have been put in or anti-

O: Organic?

S: Well, no, so what Starscream says is, non-Decepticons can’t use this, so it apparently it would do that to, like, Autobots, too.

O: But probably wouldn’t damage them as much, I suspect.

S: Yeah and, I guess, are we just going to assume that Shockwave had these installed after the whole Sparkplug debacle? Cuz that seems like it seems likely.

O: That seems likely. Shockwave doesn’t seem like the kind of bot who would want to make the same mistake multiple times.

S: Yeah. [Indistinct]

O: Oh hey, there are Reflectors here, too. I guess they just live on Cybertron, now?

S: It’s probably more peaceful for them.

O: I don’t really blame them.

S: So Megatron leads the Autobots to the “Valley of No Return,” and I’m doing the finger quotation marking thingy there, in order to trap them in quicksand.

O: He then leaves Laserbeak behind a record their imminent death and flies off.

S: As- he needs to take cues from the Evil Overlord List.

O: Yes, you know, don’t watch their deaths. Just assume everything’s going okay. To his credit, though, he did actually leave a camera behind essentially to record it and get proof.

S: Yes, but the problem is he’s-

O: I’m saying it’s more than a lot of villains do.

S: That’s true. That’s true. But he didn’t do it himself, soooo.

O: Yeah.

S: Yeah. As the Autobots struggle in the- in the- in this quicksand, Laserbeak for no apparent reason what-so-freaking-ever decides to fly right over them and is brought down by a missile from Mirage. I mean, maybe he just wanted better camera angles?

O: I mean, like, is he like Rewind at this, where he’s like, “I’ve got to get a better angle.” Regardless, when he gets shot he transforms into a cassette and is caught by Jazz. And then Ironhide freezes the sand and they all just walk out?

S: I’m going to assume that they, like, have frozen sand stuck in their joints which seems unpleasant.

O: It does.

S: Once they’re all free, Jazz plays Laserbeak. I think he transforms and then Laserbeak goes into, like-

O: His cassette deck in his car mode. I feel like I should comment on not having Laserbeak’s consent here or something?

S: Yeah. And, like, Optimus gets weirdly, super close to Jazz at one point. Like, his hands are on his windshield. He’s looking in his windshield. It’s weird.

O: It is. [Laughter]

S: And then we have “Dadimus” Prime doing his best to be hip and cool with the kids. “Lay it on me, man.”

O: Yes, those words come out of Optimus Prime’s mouth. And thusly, the Autobots to learn about the secret lab, too.

S: And somehow know exactly where it is. How? How?

O: I don’t know? How did Megatron know where it was from the recorded conversation with Megatron and Dr. Arkeville.

S: I think we kind of assumed that they- I don’t know, maybe they had someone tracking Starscream’s signature earlier?

O: Yeah, but that doesn’t make any sense how the Autobots figured it out from listening to this conversation, too.

S: Heck, maybe the coordinates were later in the thing and we didn’t hear them? I don’t know.

O: That would make more sense. That would make too much sense. We know what kind of show we’re watching.

S: It’s a silly show.

O: The Decepticons arrive at the lab and Megatron finds the energy generator.

S: So what’s the, like, case-y thing? A case thing is open but it really looks like a football.

O: And he calls it his, “Potent beauty.”

S: That’s a really, oddly sensual descriptor, that.

O: [Chuckles]

S: It really is.

O: Mm-hmm! And according to the timer on the bomb, because we keep cutting back to it, we now have two hours left. Which doesn’t actually make any of this feel very dire, if you know what I mean.

S: It really doesn’t. it feels like they could literally just-

O: They’ll figure it out sometime in the next two hours! Literally, the timer is up on a wall behind them. One of them, I know they’re are all idiots, but one of them, surely, is going to look at that and say, “Gee, I wonder what this is counting down to?” and, “Oh, wait Starscream is involved?”

S: Yeah, and then the Autobots show up and the Decepticons go outside to confront them. Because of course they do.

O: And then Optimus punches Megatron in the face and the angle on this makes no sense whatsoever. For Optimus to be hitting him at the angle that he is hitting him, he would literally have to be right in front of Megatron which means that Megatron and all the Decepticons have apparently just missed the bright blue and red mech kneeling on the ground in front of the lab entrance.

S: Yeah! Getting thrown back, Megatron lands on a ledge, where he picks up a rock and says something about “Having a ton of fun,” before chucking the rock at Optimus, missing when Optimus dodges, and then hitting poor Rumble instead.

O: Ohhh, Rumble. [Laughter] My baby. He’s just like, “What the fuck!”

S: Yeah, pretty much. And then Optimus laughs and yells, “Your aim’s improving, Megatron!”

O: I swear they’re just flirting, now. Right?

S: It’s very much like that joke, “My ex misses me but her aim’s improving!”

O: Something like that.

S: It really, really is. I’m sorry, it just made me think of it when Grunkle Stan says it in Gravity Falls.

O: [Laughter] Fair.

S: Elsewhere on Cybertron, Starscream has committed more crimes against its nature.

O: Uh, he decided he could build Dr. Arkeville stronger, faster, better.

S: Less able to move.

O: Anyway, Dr. Arkeville is a cyborg now or, excuse me, “A mechanical freak!”

S: Well, he was already kind of a cyborg. He had a replacement- mechanical replacement for one of his hands.

O: He’s more of a cyborg now and he’s not happy about it.

S: He really isn’t. Like- something like- what? Three-quarters of his body are- is, um, metal now?

O: I feel like I could throw some inappropriate things in here but I won’t.

S: Yeah.

O: [Laughter]

S: And then Starscream monologues at the Doctor as Shockwave just, like, sneaks out of the room while no one’s paying attention.

O: Back on Earth, somehow, Optimus has gotten inside the lab.

S: This seems like a job for Mirage but, apparently, we’re not good at using our soldiers skills or, you know, coordinating things well.

O: No, now we get what you’ve all been waiting for: Megatron and Optimus, fighting over a glowy atomic football.

S: And we cut to the timer from before. These two idiots have been fighting for two hours. Two-fucking-hours. We’re down to below a minute.

O: Shockwave then contacts Megatron to warn him about the bomb but Megatron tries to tell him to call back later when he’s not about to kill Optimus Prime.

S: He’s just, like, “Leave me alone- I have better things to do than talk to you, Shockwave.” And poor Shockwave is like, “No. This is important.”

O: He’s doing his best. Shocky is doing his best, okay?

S: He’s like, “There’s a bomb!” and then Megatron goes and crushes the timer, stopping the bomb.

O: I don’t know why that works but the-

S: Well, he rips it off the wall? So I guess he disconnected it?

O: Yeah, true.

S: So the trigger mechanism didn’t work, or whatever. Yeah Starscream gets annoyed at the distinct lack of boom and the doctor plays to his ego to talk him into going back and checking the timer device. Which, I mean, Shockwave tries to tell Dr. Arkeville to go back and Dr. Arkeville’s, like, “How am I supposed to do that? On my roller skates?”

O: Which was a pretty great line and also just playing to Starscream’s ego is the way you win. [Laughter]

S: Pretty much.

O: We come back to Earth and Megatron’s disarming, I think, the generator? Uh, presumably he’s got some idea of what he’s doing as these two idiots don’t explode. Uh, him and Optimus exchanged some words that sound oddly sincere here and I swear Optimus is using his bedroom voice.

S: He does sound very sultry.

O: Now they’re literally just playing football. Optimus grabs the device out of Megatron’s hands and then Megatron tackles him.

S: Yeah. More or less.

O: And seeing this damn thing is about to explode, Megatron grabs it and runs outside, turning into his gun mode and telling Optimus to- wait for it- load him.

S: That doesn’t sound dirty at all. Hmmmmmmmm. Hmmmmmm.

O: [Laughter] Oh mai! Which Optimus promptly does, firing Megatron *ahem* and sending the generator into space, where it explodes, hitting Starscream.

S: Yep, yep. That’s what happens.

O: Mm-hmm!

S: And Starscream then crash lands, basically, in front of Megatron. Except that Megatron’s behind him and comes up behind and says, “Welcome home, noble voyager.”

O: He then picks him up and they walk off.

S: Oh god, Starscream’s like his hot strumpet to go.

O: He is. Back with the Autobots, Bumblebee asks Prime what he thinks Megatron’s gonna do with Starscream, to which Prime replies, “Nothing gentle, I”d say.”

S: Optimus. Optimus, knows Megatron. And he knows what’s up.

O: And on that note, that’s the end of the episode: the Autobots laughing about Starscream and Megatron doing some incredibly rough things in private.

S: Yeah.

O: [Laughter] Join us next time for episode 15, A Plague of Insecticons, where we’re introduced to yet more Decepticons…that are insects.

S: Mm-mmm.

O: There are other things that happen. I know there are but the Insecticons are the main draw here.

S: They’re in Bali, I think. So I guess if you want to see tropical places.

O: Tropical places and giant insect bugs.

S: Yeah.

O: So, would you like to talk about our fanfic recommendations for today, Specs?

S: Okay, we have two fanfic recommendations and, actually, you will be covering one of them. But our first recommendation for today is Blue 42 by The Starhorse. It’s set in the G1 cartoon continuity and it’s rated PG. It’s- its Gen- general. There are no pairings and characters, well, our main characters are Prowl, Sideswipe, Bluestreak, Sunstreaker, Dead End, Ravage and assorted Autobots. And in summary, “Beware of irritating Prowl. It does not pay.”

O: Oh, it doesn’t.

S: So, sort of our theme for this recommendation was sports / atomic football because the atomic football just made me think of sports.

O: Fair.

S: But, so, this one’s really, really funny and…

O: It is, I’ve read this one, it’s hysterical.

S: It is! Basically, Prowl sentences, uh, some troublemakers to play sports or play football, specifically, against the Dinobots, Wheeljack, and Ratchet.

O: Yes, basically, I think his logic is: Here’s a way to basically, kind of boost morale and relieve some tension, so I’m gonna put these troublemakers to work and they’re also gonna get beat up pretty bad.

S: Yes, because none of these robots understand football properly.

O: And they’re going up against the Dinobots. [Laughter]

S: Yup, and, well, there are also Furbies being used-

O: Oh god, how did I forget about the Furbies? That was the best part, how did I forget about the Furbies?

S: Basically Furbies being used as A) a prank, B) thought of as an information gathering device.

O: Uh-huh!

S: So, I don’t want to say too much more to avoid spoiling things but it’s very, very funny- very, very funny, very enjoyable, and I definitely recommend it and I believe Owls seconds this recommendation.

O: I do, it actually was one of my favorite fanfics she gave me early on.

S: Ok, and I think that’s- that’s that one covered, so. Actually I will just say that I’ve read this next recommendation and it was funny as hell. I enjoyed it a lot, so on to Owls.

O: So my recommendation for today is “My Love is a Fever” by Spaceliquid. It is in the IDW continuity, rated T. It’s definitely slash or at least implied slash with Megatron and Optimus Prime. The main characters are Megatron, Optimus Prime, and assorted Lost Light crew cuz this is taking place on the Lost Light.

S: And aliens.

O: And aliens! In summary: “Optimus joins the crew of the Lost Light only to be imprisoned by an alien race. Megatron has to use some of his less known skills in order to get him back.” My theme for this was, uh, Megatron and Optimus Prime. Or, alternatively, just fuck already!

S: [giggles]

O: Um. There’s no actual fucking to be found in this fic, but, ah, the gist of it is Optimus has been kidnapped and Megatron has to use poetry to get him back. Make of that what you will cuz I’m not describing anything else.

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher and Youtube, just to name a few.

S: Till next time, I’m Specs

O: And I’m Owl’s.

S: Toodles!

O: They need to just fuck already!

[Outro Music]

[sassycassie-s-writing]

To Be Happy - Autumn

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): DC, BatFam, SuperFam - Jason Todd/Robin & Conner Kent/Superboy

Rating: PG/K+

Original Idea: Part 1 Summer. @welovegroot

Notes: (Masterlist)(By Character)(About Me) Ahhh high school. The “good old days” that I’m glad to say I don’t miss too much.

^^^^^

September 7, 1:45PM

“I think Conner’s going to ask me to homecoming,” I said to Robin as we snacked on popcorn in the common room, months later. No one else was at the base except the two of us. They were all on a mission, but Robin had been injured and I was studying.

Robin’s voice cracked as he replied, “That’s great.” He cleared his throat. “That’s great.” A cough. “Stupid puberty,” he mumbled.

I couldn’t help but giggle. “It’s okay, I thought it was cute.” I glanced up from my book and smiled at him. “Do you think I should go with Conner though? I mean…” I sighed and shrugged. “I dunno. I like him but I always feel like he’s keeping me at arm’s distance.” I bit my lip and watched Robin think.

“He’s always like that. He doesn’t show how close he feels to someone because he… just kinda doesn’t know how,” Robin reasoned. “I think… I think you should go with him. Be, uh, be sure to send me a picture of you in your dress.”

I chuckled. “I think I will. Thanks Robin. That… that’s really encouraging.”

^^^^^

Jason you NUMBSKULL! Jason thought harshly to himself. Why are you encouraging her to date another guy? What kind of idiot ARE you?!

He peeked at Starbeam as her attention returned to her book and she pulled her knees up higher to balance her book on them. He knew exactly what kind of idiotic numbskull he was. The kind who was besotted and bewitched by the telekinetic powerhouse sitting on the other end of the sofa, reading a textbook with her tongue between her teeth and her eyelashes casting shadows down her face.

The kind of idiot who was willing to shove his own feelings out of the way in order for her to be happy. Who was willing to watch her be with someone else as long as it meant that he got to see her smile and the way it lit up her eyes—even if her beautiful smile and laugh wasn’t directed at him.

He sighed to himself, casting his eyes down at his injured knee. He thanked the pain for a moment because it meant he got to spend some time alone with her while the team was out on a busy mission.

“Penny for your thoughts, Robin,” Starbeam said, looking up again.

“Just trying to remember how many dates you two have been on,” Jason said.

Stars blinked and scrunched her eyebrows in thought. “Like… three,” she said. “We only do stuff every-so-often when we’re not busy and only two of those really counted as dates, I think.” She dug into her pocket and pulled an actual penny out. Laying it flat on her palm, she used her powers to gently float it towards him. He took it from the air. “There. Now you’ll have good luck,” she said decisively.

Maybe, but not with you, Jason thought.

^^^^^

September 14, 9:30PM

“WHOO! GO CONNER!” I shouted, jumping up and down in the bleachers. Normally I’d never been a fan of football, but I was having fun cheering for Conner. M’gann was disguised as a normal human girl beside me. We were both cheering. She’d morphed her face to be our high school’s colors and everyone kept complimenting her on her face paint. We just giggled about it once the people left.

Conner caught the football—I think he played as a receiver?—and started taking off down the field toward the endzone.

Our whole side of the stands erupted into cheers, M’gann and I shrieking and cheering. “Go Conner!” I shouted while M’gann whooped. He could probably hear us with his enhanced hearing, but if he did, he didn’t make any sign.

The girl standing in front of us in the student section turned around. “Boyfriend?” she asked me curiously.

I made a face. “Not exactly,” I said.

“But they’re so close!” M’gann supplied.

“Megan!” I protested.

She ignored me.

Conner crossed into the endzone seconds before the buzzer went off to signal the end of the game.

The whole crowd shouted and cheered and shrieked. M’gann and I jumped up and down as the band played the fight song.

“Oh man!” I exclaimed. “We trashed those Gotham Acad preps!”

M’gann laughed. “Careful. Rob and Wing both go or went there,” she teased.

I waved my hand dismissively. “Pffft! Who cares! It’s high school sports!” I shouted over the screaming crowd.

We made our way with the flood of the student section down onto the field.

“Conner! Conner!” I shouted, peering over heads to try and find him. Why did I have to be so short? “Conner!”

Someone’s arms snagged me from behind and scooped me up. “We won!” Conner exclaimed. I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck just in case he dropped me—which he wouldn’t, but it was a habit.

“Great job, Kon,” I said with a grin.

He set my feet on the ground and dipped me back over his leg. When he leaned down, I reached up and slid my fingers into his—sweaty—hair and brought his face down to mine.

Not a bad first kiss.

^^^^^

Jason watched from the other side of the field—the visiting side—as Conner Kent, football team superstar, lifted Starbeam over his head like she weighed nothing before setting her down, bending her low over his leg, and kissing her.

Jason felt his heart break a little. Dick, who was standing next to him, didn’t even notice. Just chuckled and sighed. “Hooooo. Welp. What can I say? We deserved that,” Dick said. He stood up and moved to head down the bleachers. “I'm going to go congratulate Conner. Wanna come with me?” He gave Jason a look.

“I’ll come say hi,” Jason muttered, following his older brother down the stands and onto the field. They both jumped the railing that separated the field from the track wrapped around it and jogged across the field to the home team’s celebration.

“Conner! Hey Conner!” Dick shouted, ducking under some crazed student’s arm to make it to where Kon, Stars, and M’gann were all celebrating. “Congratulations on the win!”

“Thanks Grayson,” Conner said. Jason broke through the crowd at that moment and gave Stars an awkward smile. She smiled back, friendly as always. Conner’s arm was around her waist and he was smiling bigger than Jason had ever seen him smile.

^^^^^

September 15, 4:57PM

“You look incredible, Stars,” Conner said as I emerged from my room in my homecoming dress.

“Thanks. M’gann helped me pick out the dress,” I said, straightening my skirt a little.

“It looks nice on you,” Conner said. He offered me his elbow the same way he had when we went on our first unofficial date to the movie in the summer. “Shall we?” I took his elbow with a grin.

“We shall,” I said.

We headed into town to go to dinner before the homecoming dance.

Conner did everything right. He opened doors for me, pulled out my chair, chivalrously ordered for me after I told him what I decided on. He’d come a long way since June when he didn’t know whether or not to escort me to the movie. I was proud of him.

Dinner went well, and then we headed to the school for the dance.

“Oh my gosh! Are you two together now?” one of the girls in my English class asked.

“Nope. Just going to the dance together,” I said. Conner and I slipped away from her and into the crowd.

“Why are we doing this again?” Conner asked quietly. “Dances are not my thing.”

“No, but we have to have some normal high school activities. Pretend we live normal lives,” I said.

“I play football. Isn’t that enough?”

“No. Football players are almost expected to be the guys that go to every dance with a different girl every time. Unless they’re dating someone exclusively.”

“But I don’t want to take any other girl to another dance and I’m not dating anyone.”

I laughed. “Then you don’t have to. I'm just pointing out what high school football players tend to do in our culture.”

Conner looked thoughtful.

The song changed to a really loud one that nearly knocked me off my feet. I used my powers to bend some of the soundwaves around us just enough that it wasn’t so loud. We danced with our friends and I found myself having a lot of fun.

When a slow song came on, I showed Kon how to slow dance. He was clumsy and awkward, but once he got the hang of it he did well. I grinned and giggled.

On the way back to Mt. Justice, Conner scooped me up and flew me back when we were certain no one would see us. We’d walked there since I didn’t want to ruin my hair but didn’t care on the way home.

When we touched down at the entrance, I bit my lower lip. “Thank you, Conner,” I said. “I had a really good time.”

“Me too. The pleasure was all mine.”

We stood there awkwardly, not entirely sure what to do.

Conner leaned forward, pecked my cheek, and disappeared down the hall.

^^^^^

October 14, 7:26PM

“Happy birthday, Starbeam,” Robin said, holding out a small wrapped package.

“Robin! You didn’t have to get me anything,” I said, trying not to accept it.

Robin pushed it closer to me. “Please. Just accept it. It’s nothing major.”

I opened it—and beamed. “Oh my goodness. Thank you! My copy was falling apart at the bindings!”

“I, uh, I know. I saw you reading it in the common room a few weeks ago.”

“But I didn’t tell anyone when my birthday is,” I pointed out.

Robin shrugged. “Batman trained me,” he said.

I laughed. “Fair enough.” I gave Robin a hug. “Thank you, Robin.”

M’gann appeared. “Wait?! Is it your birthday?!” she demanded. I nodded sheepishly. “OH MY GOODNESS! Why didn’t you tell me?! How old are you today?!”

“Sixteen,” I said.

“Congratulations! Sixteen is an important milestone for humans isn’t it?”

“In theory? In America I guess,” I said. “It’s called your Sweet Sixteen but I’ve never known why. There’s really nothing special about it.”

“Well, congratulations anyway. That’s wonderful!”

“Thanks M’gann,” I said.

“We should all go out and get some ice cream or something.”

“Uh… I'm really good staying here.”

“There might be some ice cream in the freezer,” Robin supplied.

M’gann, looking interested, skedaddled to the kitchen. I turned back to Robin. “Thanks,” I said. “M’gann is a great girl but her enthusiasm really drains me sometimes.” Robin nodded and shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“No problem,” he said, a little smile on his face.

Next

[verdigrisprowl]

Jan 14 Bevel’s Movie Stream - two Leverage episodes

Because Ratchet couldn’t make it, Bevel didn’t show Star Trek Discovery tonight. Instead, she showed criminals being treated like heroes for doing crimes, which Prowl heartily disapproves of.

That said, he thinks the hacker is hot.

Prowl and Tarantulas got into a dumb fight that will probably culminate in absolutely nothing.

Bevel 7:13 pm *everything's set up just as before, some chairs and couches and a table for snacks and energon* FakeProwl 7:21 pm *appears; takes a seat by himself* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:22 pm *Arrives and, looking around, does a mental shrug since there's nobody he doesn't expect and parks himself by Prowl - if allowed. He'll stop like two feet from and look at the spot next to questioningly.* FakeProwl 7:23 pm *a nod. permission granted.* *and a greeting ping.* Bevel 7:23 pm *she'll give all three bots waves upon their arrival, she might look a little hesitant about waving to Prowl but that's on her, not him* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:25 pm *Nods to Bevel and Prowl and drops down with a [[Hello]] to both.* Tarantulas 7:25 pm *tarantulas doesn't know bevel well, but he's invested in the series now - in he comes, scoping out the room for a moment and gravitating toward the energon* *hey bev are there straws with the energon pls say yes* Bevel 7:25 pm *of course* Tarantulas 7:26 pm *more importantly are they fun-shaped* Bevel 7:27 pm *Bevel would never offer straws that weren't fun shapes, no boring straight straws for this party* Tarantulas 7:30 pm *good! a tiny bow to bevel, then tarantulas is gonna snag the purplest funnest one and a cube, and plant himself in front of prowl and sw on the floor* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:30 pm *Nudge with ankle. Contact forbidden?* Tarantulas 7:32 pm *permitted* FakeProwl 7:32 pm *the temptation to lean forward and bury his hands in Tarantulas's shoulders... no. resist. no displays like that in front of a near stranger.* Bevel 7:36 pm ((Starting in ten minutes! ItsyBitsySpyers 7:36 pm *Would tell Prowl that this is probably one of the near strangers he can trust the most, but doesn't know to. Will keep the ankle up against Tarantulas' hip though.* FakeProwl 7:37 pm *trusts no near strangers* Bevel 7:38 pm *knows way too much about Prowl's relationships and will go to her grave with the knowledge, but would understand the not trusting if she knew about it* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:40 pm *Well if SOMEONE hadn't pretended to be him.* Bevel 7:43 pm *yes, yes, don't pretend to be Soundwave where Prowl, Tarantulus, Shockwave, or Soundwave might appear* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:46 pm *...He would question why Bevel has decided not to be him where he'd appear, but he DID make out with that alternate.* Bevel 7:49 pm *mostly so he won't ruin the fun but omg don't ever tell her that* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:55 pm *Don't worry. He won't.* FakeProwl 7:55 pm *... this isn't starfleet* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:55 pm *Tilts his helm.* [[Did you not acquire more tapes, then?]] Bevel 7:55 pm Ratchet could not make it tonight so I found something else to show so he would not miss anything. ItsyBitsySpyers 7:56 pm *Oho. Now he's interested.* FakeProwl 7:56 pm ... Ah. Pro-crime propaganda. Bevel 7:56 pm *whoops* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:57 pm [[Crime done for the purpose of helping others.]] Bevel 7:59 pm *not sure this tape is about them helping anyone but themselves but she's curious enough because it seems to be a mystery* FakeProwl 8:00 pm Yes. "For the purpose of helping others." Like I said. Pro-crime propaganda. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:03 pm *Laces his fingers together.*

[[It might be. But he is interested in this story.]] Bevel 8:03 pm *humans look so alike to her that she can believe this human can be two people at once and most people fail to realize it* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:05 pm *LOUD HUFF* Bevel 8:05 pm *giggles* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:05 pm [[So it's going to be one of these things.]] Bevel 8:05 pm One of those? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:06 pm [[Yes. Multiple people working different plans with the same goal. Not unlike some of the times he and Jazz tried to get the same information.]] Tarantulas 8:07 pm *had completely spaced out for a while playing around with the cube&straw and a packet of additives he'd pulled out of his subspace, but now he's nibbling on the straw and paying attention* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:08 pm *Still huffing.* Bevel 8:09 pm I bet those are really interesting war stories. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:10 pm [[Wouldn't you like to know.]] Bevel 8:10 pm I really would yeah. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:11 pm [[You and everyone else interested in classified historical events.]] Bevel 8:11 pm *huffs* Bevel 8:13 pm *now this is getting convoluted* FakeProwl 8:14 pm *... gently leans against soundwave's shoulder* *quietly* I'D like to know. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:17 pm *Looks around his shoulder to get a glimpse of his leaner.*

@P: [[Attempting to seduce it out of him?]] FakeProwl 8:17 pm @S «Depends on whether or not it's working.» ItsyBitsySpyers 8:18 pm @P: [[...Perhaps with a little more effort.]] [[He "lives this job" but doesn't know his employees...?]] Bevel 8:19 pm Maybe he is distracted because he let her get away? *still not a good excuse but she can't think of anything better* FakeProwl 8:20 pm @S «I'd slide into your lap but we've got an audience.» ItsyBitsySpyers 8:21 pm @Prowl: [[An audience that knows. But, very well. He'll give you an example when we are alone and you can.]] FakeProwl 8:21 pm @S «That doesn't mean I want it watching.» ItsyBitsySpyers 8:22 pm *Small nod. Fair point.* *...He also likes the continual mangling of the one human's accent.* FakeProwl 8:26 pm *perks up slightly* *pegged the bartender as the guard from the second story* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:28 pm *Would be delighted to know how he did that if Prowl felt like sharing.* FakeProwl 8:31 pm *... wasn't expecting THIS characterization* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:33 pm [[He hasn't stolen anything. It fell into his hand.]] FakeProwl 8:33 pm *okay, didn't get it, he was suspecting the other guard* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:34 pm [[...He broke the artifact?]] Bevel 8:34 pm Fake Gold is soft but not like that. Bevel 8:35 pm Oh! FakeProwl 8:37 pm So we're supposed to sympathize with these thieves for going out to steal art from an oil mogul who just polluted the ocean. ... Rather than... doing something, anything, to contribute to cleaning up the pollution or preventing it from happening. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:37 pm [[...It does seem less helpful than was originally suggested by the credits.]] Tarantulas 8:38 pm Mmm, "sympathize with" probably isn't the correct phrase. "Be amused by" seems more fitting. FakeProwl 8:38 pm So noble. Stealing useless trinkets from villains. Now the poor have the useless trinkets instead, and isn't the world better off for it. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:39 pm *Can practically feel his paint bubbling under the heat of that sarcasm.* *Pings Tarantulas his agreement. The stories were definitely amusing.* FakeProwl 8:39 pm *sorry, he'll try to turn it in another direction.* Bevel 8:39 pm *can't disagree but she still finds it amusing* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:40 pm *No, no, he likes Prowl leaned on his shoulder.* FakeProwl 8:40 pm *he'll just make sure the flamethrower coming out of his mouth is aimed at empty space* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:41 pm [[...If that is a murder, the helpfulness seems more promising in this one.]] FakeProwl 8:41 pm Mm. *he dislikes stories that argue that the criminals and thieves are the helpful ones.* *rather than what they really are: villains stealing trinkets from villains.* Bevel 8:42 pm *her attention is caught briefly by mention of the Titanic* FakeProwl 8:43 pm *same* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:43 pm *Hm. Points for fighting efficiency.* FakeProwl 8:43 pm ... Dismissing the Titanic for being "designed by smart people" completely diownplays th... *sorry he got distracted by hackervision. somebody who sees the world the way prowl does!* FakeProwl 8:45 pm ... Completely downplays both the brilliant work that went into it, AND the remarkable circumstances that caused it to sink in the first place. Bevel 8:46 pm Yeah. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:49 pm *Sort of half-tilts forward in fascination. How are they going to stop thi--?* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:52 pm [[...Corruption?]] FakeProwl 8:53 pm *and, now we're supposed to dislike the police. sighs.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:53 pm [[...Ah. He wanted privacy.]] FakeProwl 8:54 pm *ah. the police are using a valuable asset. less dislikable.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:56 pm [[...Tell him none of the current enforcers would just let that happen. Tell him he has taught them better than that.]] FakeProwl 8:57 pm What, let three criminals steal a truck? Tarantulas 8:57 pm *snorts at the "hot but disturbing"* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:57 pm [[Fall for a stolen badge and someone speaking about technology at a fast pace.]] *Pause.* [[So, yes.]] *Can't disagree with the assessment Tarantulas is snorting at* FakeProwl 8:58 pm I've only been working with them for three days. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:59 pm [[And your estimation?]] FakeProwl 8:59 pm So, yes. I'm sure most of them would. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:00 pm *Rubs his crest with his good hand.*

[[Of course. Of course they would.]] Tarantulas 9:00 pm *ooooh* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:00 pm *Stops rubbing to look through his fingers. What's all this?* FakeProwl 9:01 pm Unfortunately, enforcers are just people. Which means idiots, who easily fall for people who act authoritative and look like they know what they're doing. Tarantulas 9:02 pm *small laugh* I adore how awfully frightening biology is being portrayed... And how many extraneous beakers they had in that fake lab setup. Pft. Bevel 9:03 pm All the beakers. Makes everything look official. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:03 pm [[Hmm. It's been a long time since he heard that phrase.]] FakeProwl 9:03 pm Which phrase? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:04 pm [[Creepy spy truck.]]

[[...How do you know they were extraneous?]] FakeProwl 9:05 pm *snort* When you get me intel would you like me to say "thank you, creepy spy plane"? Bevel 9:05 pm *giggles* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:05 pm [[Primus.]] Bevel 9:05 pm ...*that's a lot of pigs* Tarantulas 9:06 pm Labs need functional equipment, not masses of containers. It's about the same as you having a slew of empty data slugs instead of a console setup. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:06 pm *Uh. What was he--* [[He hopes you don't find him creepy. But, if it amuses you.]]

[[...He keeps both.]] FakeProwl 9:06 pm *thinks about the drawer he's got devoted solely to empty data slugs* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:07 pm [[But he thinks he sees your point.]] Tarantulas 9:07 pm Of course you need data slugs, but not /that/ many. FakeProwl 9:07 pm *it's a big drawer* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:07 pm [[...Of course, they were talking about the Earth year 1918. He does not expect they had much in the way of 'functional equipment' then. They did not even have computers.]] Bevel 9:07 pm *keeps a lot of extra scrap metal, most of which she'll probably never use around, not sure that applies to data slugs and beakers* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:09 pm *Huff* Tarantulas 9:10 pm Are those two /actually/ involved? FakeProwl 9:10 pm ... she could have just walked around him. Bevel 9:10 pm The other one said the whole floor could be rigged. FakeProwl 9:11 pm Ah. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:11 pm [[He suspects they are.]] [[Involved, that is. In answer to Tarantulas.]] FakeProwl 9:12 pm *he likes that hacker* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:12 pm *Does too.* Bevel 9:13 pm *ok that is cool* FakeProwl 9:13 pm *that was extremely attractive* Bevel 9:14 pm Soundwave? Are humans really this easy to track? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm [[...He probably should not answer that.]] Bevel 9:15 pm *takes that as a yes* FakeProwl 9:15 pm So yes. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm *You said it, not him.* Bevel 9:15 pm *snickers* FakeProwl 9:17 pm YEAH! ... Sorry. It was an— impressive turn, there. Tarantulas 9:17 pm *giggling* FakeProwl 9:17 pm *look he doesn't get to see the cops do cool things in shows like this very often.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:17 pm *Light trembling.*

[[Do not apologize. You're free to enjoy such things.]] FakeProwl 9:18 pm It's the volume I'm apologizing for. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:18 pm [[Still fine.]] *Frenzy. Turning it down is something of an instinct these days.* Bevel 9:19 pm *amused by Prowl's enthusiasm* I like him. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:20 pm *Mild blip of alarm. The red shirt human is shot.* Bevel 9:20 pm *look at him all shot and still beating up bad guys, that takes a lot of willpower to power through that kinda injury* FakeProwl 9:21 pm ((as red shirt humans are wont to do)) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:21 pm ((LOL)) FakeProwl 9:22 pm ... the aerosol and the virus are contained separately, right? If they separate them, they can pop the aerosol and the virus won't do anything. Bevel 9:22 pm ...or that? Tarantulas 9:22 pm Or that. *visor smiling* FakeProwl 9:23 pm *smirks* Same theory. Bevel 9:23 pm Ha, that was awesome. Bevel 9:24 pm He really should go to the hospital though. Tarantulas 9:24 pm *mentally nudges sw - he has a theory, wanna hear it?* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:25 pm *Accepts the nudge and nudges back. Go for it.* Tarantulas 9:26 pm *every thought is accompanied by a mental snicker, but here: one might be able to make certain parallels between these characters and the mecha in this room, don't you think?* Tarantulas 9:27 pm *not that tarantulas knows much about bevel, but she'll do to fill the role of one character* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:27 pm *...Go on.*

*In the meantime:* [[He finds himself pleased that they stopped the virus. It sounded something like the rust plague.]] *When did he begin to sympathize this much with organic species? Insidious little meatlings.* Bevel 9:28 pm Is that the one that killed a lot of bots during the war? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:28 pm [[No, no. That was the Cybonic plague. The great Rusting was long before.]] Tarantulas 9:29 pm *snort* Really? By that I mean - yes, its contagiousness and lethality are similar, if that's what you were implying. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:30 pm [[It is. Of course, the rust plague took entire planets, but we do have a habit of doing things on grander scales than most species.]] *Oh? What an interesting song.* Bevel 9:30 pm Oh. *oh geez don't tell Ratchet she mixed them up, she'll get a lecture* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:31 pm *Still hoping to hear these comparisons. Was amused by the docked reference and the 'sitting next to you' bit.* Tarantulas 9:35 pm Humans are young and fairly isolated - the influenza virus might be mighty, but it can only spread among the species it evolved to infect. Tarantulas 9:36 pm Grander scales are reserved for diseases that are brought about by non-species-specific causes. FakeProwl 9:37 pm Influenza affects several species. Tarantulas 9:37 pm It mutates between species. FakeProwl 9:38 pm I was given to understand that it evolves. *he says, revealing he has no idea that those are basically the same thing.* Tarantulas 9:38 pm Besides, the difference in genetics between the affected species is negligible. *amused* Yes and no. But don't worry yourself over it. *he's got other things to do besides squabble over biological specifics - he's gotta explain this silly theory to sw* FakeProwl 9:40 pm ... What do you mean, "yes and no"? *look you can't just imply prowl is wrong about something and not provide him with the right info* Tarantulas 9:44 pm *an offhand wave and some casual rambling* They're essentially the same thing, although I used the term 'mutate' since they're viruses and generally not accepted to be quote-unquote "alive" - not to mention the fact that mutation is the genetic change, and evolution mostly refers to the phenotypic results of the mutation. FakeProwl 9:45 pm *... processes that* *... what does phenotypic mean* Bevel 9:45 pm Phenotypic? *it's ok, Bevel got you Prowl, because Tara just spit out a bunch of words that sounded like blah blah blah* Tarantulas 9:46 pm Viruses can only be said to evolve if one considers slight changes in RNA to be sufficiently significant differences in something that could or could not be called a living organism in the first place, much less a species. Personally I'd rather just stick with 'mutation' . ItsyBitsySpyers 9:46 pm *...He feels like he got this lecture once from a Shockwave when the Cybonic plague was being created. Some of the content is familiar, at least.* *He listens to see how it is different for organics.* Tarantulas 9:46 pm Phenotypic. Referring to the resultant phenotype of the organism as encoded in its genetic material. Bevel 9:47 pm ...*is gonna use robot google for this or they'll be here all night and SW will never hear Tara's theory* FakeProwl 9:47 pm Okay, you can't just say "phenotypic" refers to a "phenotype," as if we are likely to know what "phenotype" means when when don't know what "phenotypic" means. Bevel 9:48 pm *Soundwave sent her a link...* Tarantulas 9:48 pm *snorts* I told you not to worry about it. Bevel 9:48 pm *giggles* Tarantulas 9:48 pm (( oh my god ItsyBitsySpyers 9:48 pm *INORDINATELY pleased with himself* Tarantulas 9:48 pm (( how. how are they making the chicken do this Bevel 9:48 pm ((props to them for getting this to go along with the lyrics so well omg FakeProwl 9:49 pm You've just said "Here's something you don't know about but I do, now be quiet and stop caring about the fact that you don't know this thing and the person who could tell you about it can't be bothered to tell you about it." Have you ever met me, Tarantulas. Ever. For more than two minutes. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:50 pm *He hopes so, since Tarantulas has been in here all night.* FakeProwl 9:50 pm *he's sure not acting like it.* Tarantulas 9:53 pm *huff* Forgive me for not necessarily wanting to wax encyclopedic at the moment - and I never said I /wouldn't/ explain, just - not now. FakeProwl 9:53 pm Don't command me not to "worry" about something when what you mean is "I don't want to discuss it anymore right now." Tarantulas 9:55 pm I - *rubs at his helm* You're misinterpreting my tone. And I'd much appreciate if you didn't make such a fuss of this right here and now. Tarantulas 9:57 pm *geeeeez he just wanted to wrap that up and nudge sw with something amusing, not get in an argument with prowl* *huff huff* FakeProwl 9:57 pm You mischose your words. Bevel 9:57 pm *will just enjoy the music like y'do* FakeProwl 9:57 pm *but fine. he's dropping it. looks at screen.* Tarantulas 9:58 pm *narrows his visor at prowl for a moment, then sighs with his shoulders. oh boy* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:59 pm *Is not entirely sure what he's supposed to do or if he ought stay out entirely. This... seems like a thing he should maybe let them work out on their own. He can at least stay here as a shoulder without causing upset, probably. He hopes.* Bevel 10:00 pm *oh yes, enjoy this cool video about a sister and her brother being torn apart, it's meaningful* Tarantulas 10:01 pm @P: ::I didn't mischoose my words. Will you /please/ stop assuming things of me and putting words in my mouth and accusing me of things in front of other mecha who have absolutely nothing to do with our personal com -:: *oh my god what* *sufficiently distracted* FakeProwl 10:02 pm *good, because Prowl's not replying to that.* Bevel 10:02 pm *victory for Bevel, distracted Tara* Tarantulas 10:05 pm *would enjoy these AMVs more if he were in a better mood though* Bevel 10:05 pm *sorry Tara* FakeProwl 10:06 pm *not sorry. feels condescended to.* Tarantulas 10:09 pm @SW: [[...Did I /actually/ do anything wrong or am I right in thinking that Prowl's overreacting?]] *yes, you're getting dragged into this, sw* Bevel 10:10 pm *yay for not being dragged into things* Tarantulas 10:10 pm *don't jinx yourself bevel, you're still a potential witness to be called upon* Bevel 10:10 pm *shhhhh no she's watching fanvideos now* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:11 pm *Oh, Pit. This isn't - he's not familiar with - uh. Think quickly, Soundwave.* FakeProwl 10:11 pm *rude, tara. prowl's stewing in his crippling self-doubt like a responsible mech.* *you can't just drag other people in* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:14 pm @Tarantulas: [[What he thinks is - irrelevant. He cannot appropriately take sides in a personal argument in which he does not have a stake. The two of you will need to discuss this between yourselves.]]

*That's. That's acceptable, right? Right?* Tarantulas 10:14 pm *squinnnnt* @SW: [[...I'm using you as a reality check, not a pawn. Come now.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 10:16 pm *How do you ask someone "how am I supposed to believe there won't be temperamental repercussions" without implying you already think you're in for some?* Tarantulas 10:17 pm *you don't - you lie, just like tarantulas is doing* Tarantulas 10:19 pm *looks over at bevel in the meantime* How rude of me, hyeh. I've been here this whole time and not spoken a word to the lovely host, haven't I. I apologize. Bevel 10:19 pm ... It is ok. *no really please no need to talk to her at all* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:20 pm *...Oh, oh, he knows.*

@T: [[He understands that there was a breakdown of communication. He cannot advise on the nature of it, or on which side or sides it has occurred. You will have to speak to Prowl about it.]] Tarantulas 10:21 pm @SW: [[Prrrrrowl's not speaking to me. I'm sure you can see where my dilemma lies.]] Tarantulas 10:23 pm *a nod at bevel, thanks* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:23 pm @T: [[He does. He also knows that you are an intelligent mech capable of working out how and when to have the needed conversation once any possible immediate ire has passed, if it exists.]] *Suddenly feeling a little bit like the tap-dancing lawyer from the Chicago movie.* Tarantulas 10:24 pm *smol audible whiny whine @ sw* FakeProwl 10:24 pm *... why's prowl still here? they're watching music synchronized to humans beating each other for no reason, nobody is talking to him, tarantulas essentially told him to shut up so that he could then comm him and rant at him privately, then stopped talking to him mid-sentence and has ignored him since.* Bevel 10:25 pm *sorry Prowl, Bevel is still working up her nerve to talk to him again* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:25 pm *Soundwave would LIKE to talk to him as soon as he gets himself out of being dragged into this. He is, currently, using most of his wits to escape that fate.* FakeProwl 10:25 pm *glances at tara, who's just whined. and now, apparently, he's talking privately to soundwave, and prowl's sure it's not about anything good.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:26 pm *Soundwave shakes his helm at the whine. He has several deployers. You're not getting to him like that.* Tarantulas 10:26 pm @SW: [[You sorely overestimate me.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 10:27 pm @T: [[Then it is a good time for you to learn.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 10:28 pm *Pings Prowl as a nudge for nudging's sake. Hasn't heard anything. Is beginning to suspect brooding.* FakeProwl 10:29 pm *he shouldn't have said anything. and he should just leave. they're already talking about him behind his— hm?* @S «What?» Tarantulas 10:30 pm *weak mental shove at sw. well that was useless* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:31 pm @P: [[Have you noticed how well the humans creating these videos have timed their clips of the original product to new sound?]]

*Pathetic attempt to engage on a different topic when he wants to avoid the current one and doesn't know what else to do? Go.*

*Accepts the shove. It was, and that was the point.* FakeProwl 10:32 pm @S «... No. I didn't. Sorry, I wasn't really watching them.» ItsyBitsySpyers 10:32 pm *Oh Primus, Bevel, that's not a selection he wanted to draw attention to...* Bevel 10:32 pm *she did nothing* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:33 pm @P: [[Ah. He is sorry to hear that. Many of them were quite masterful. Organic creativity continues to surprise.]] FakeProwl 10:33 pm @S «Mm. I'll take your word for it.» Tarantulas 10:34 pm *hmm. what happens if he pings prowl, let's see* FakeProwl 10:34 pm *... he should have left.* @T «What.» ItsyBitsySpyers 10:36 pm @P: [[He'll see about replaying them some time.]] FakeProwl 10:37 pm @S «It's fine. I'll just take your word for it. Musically-synchronized violence doesn't do anything for me.» Tarantulas 10:37 pm @P: ::...Are you upset with me?:: *probably best to start with clarifying the basics, right?* FakeProwl 10:38 pm @S «... Sorry.» *because soundwave would undoubtedly like to share a musical thing with prowl, wouldn't he?* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:38 pm @P: [[It is all right. He understands.]] FakeProwl 10:39 pm @T «/Don't worry yourself over it./» ItsyBitsySpyers 10:39 pm *Soundwave decides to ping Bevel next. She's an uninvolved party, at least.*

@B: [[You do a fine job of hosting. And he appreciates your musical selections.]] FakeProwl 10:40 pm *farewell ping to soundwave. leaves.* Bevel 10:40 pm *well since no one's making suggestions...* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:40 pm *Returns ping and watches the avatar flicker.* Bevel 10:41 pm ((oh geez this is old, still good Bevel 10:42 pm @S: Thanks! @S: What are you gonna show tomorrow? Tarantulas 10:43 pm *winces a bit. bah* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:44 pm @B: [[He has not fully decided. Something from the starship timelines.]] *Came out to have a good time and is feeling personally attacked by this video.* Bevel 10:44 pm @S: Awesome! I will try to get some files from the stuff I showed before. *sorry* Bevel 10:46 pm ((and now that i've played one of their songs i want to play my favorites but they're not really things Bevel would play ItsyBitsySpyers 10:46 pm *It's fine. He's enjoying it. It does have a point.*

@B: [[With the Discovery humans?]] Bevel 10:47 pm @S: Yeah! I think I found some more records but I want to make sure. Tarantulas 10:48 pm *is slumped forward with his chin in his paws sulking* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:49 pm @T: [[Perhaps some time to think?]] Tarantulas 10:52 pm @SW: [[Yes, lovely. How I do adore waiting and drowning in uncertainty in the meantime.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 10:53 pm @T: [[Unfortunately, it happens to everyone. Even himself.]] Tarantulas 10:53 pm @SW: [[Hah hah.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 10:53 pm @B: [[Good, good. He is intrigued by the Ripper creature and the spore drive. It is... somewhat like a space bridge.]] Bevel 10:55 pm @S: Our ships do not do the neat flippy thing though. *pity* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:56 pm @B: [[They also do not gather condensation. It is for the best, as we are made of metal.]] @B: [[But... he thinks he will retire to his building after this video.]] Bevel 10:57 pm @S: Yeah, true and ok. Thanks for coming again. Tarantulas 10:57 pm *tara suspects there's a conversation going on, but he'll bring his back into the audible realm anyhow* So - might you know when your next showing will be, Bevel? Bevel 10:59 pm A few Earth days from now. *not sure how Tara's Cybertron days move so...* I can message you if you want? Tarantulas 10:59 pm *a hum that sounds happier than tarantulas actually is* Ah, yes, please do. Bevel 11:00 pm *grins* Ok! Tarantulas 11:01 pm I'll make sure not to get myself wrapped up in any immediately-dire projects, then. I'm looking forward to the next installment. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:02 pm *Stretches a little, pushes himself up, and nods to Bevel.*

[[Thank you.]]

*Nod to Tarantulas, who is probably grumpy with him. And a departure.* Bevel 11:03 pm Did Soundwave show you the other files from the starship universe that I found? Tarantulas 11:03 pm *of course he's grumpy with you sw* Yes, he did - they're quite enthralling. Bevel 11:04 pm Oh all the science must be really cool for you. Tarantulas 11:06 pm *actual visor smile* Yes, quite! Bevel 11:06 pm Then I will definitely comm you when I can show more files. Promise. Tarantulas 11:07 pm Much appreciated. Unfortunately... I probably ought to be going. I'm sure you can imagine I might have a bit of a mess to clean up. Bevel 11:08 pm I am sure you can. Tarantulas 11:08 pm Hyeh. Thank you for having us. Until next time, then. *a smol bow, and he's out* Bevel 11:09 pm *waves before he goes and then vents a little once she's alone. then she gets started cleaning up*

[glopratchet]

gator-hunt

a queen, she's got the ability to make more of you Perfect beeing You're not sure how much longer that will be effective though She may have already run out of queens or something and your body is starting to show signs of aging now so it won't take long before her work is no longer needed anymore The only other option left would be for her to kill you as well and then leave with all the honey in your stomachs An alligator fanasty might sound like a nice idea but you can't imagine what kind of fanatics they'd have to deal with on their way to Florida The whole point of this trip was supposed to be an escape from reality and now you've found yourself back there again If she does decide to do that, then you're going to need someplace safe where you can hide and they seem so lifelike that you feel like reaching out and touching one These alligators are incredibley detailed The only thing that sets them apart from a real alligator is the fact that these are standing upright on two legs and holding what appears to be a bible They line the tunnel by stature with one slightly larger than the rest positioned at the very end You've only been in this part of the swamp for a few minutes and now this, there's no telling what else might be down here These alligators are incredibley detailed and they seem so lifelike that you feel like reaching out and touching one and scars, but they're still alive You've never seen anything like it before in your life Wherever you are, it must be a very small part of the ocean underground since it seems to go on forever in all directions They have hearts brains teeth stomaches and some have lots of wounds It's strange but you almost feel safe down here Nothing that comes out of the ocean is going to be a danger to you and if someone or something does intrude on your sanctuary you're more than capable of defending yourself They have hearts brains teeth stomaches and some have lots of wounds and scars, making love and sleeping You never realized how much their mating reminded you of humans until you see it in front of you now It makes you realize how lonely you are and how lovely that part of life can be with someone This all reminds you of a story you heard once Gators love two things besides eating Gators love two things besides eating, Fighting and gossiping over territory WAS the natural order of things Boring, but natural none the less Now? The challenging has become all there is and they devote all their energy to it, no time for pleasure of any sort even survival is secondary to winning as disputes often lead to death Maybe the "fight" was taken out of them when they gave up walking on 2 legs and became horrid monsters Fighting and gossiping over territory WAS the natural order of things missippinus are really of little consequence when everything else in its life is so different The bugs never act against them, they keep to themselves and seing that this "city" is active around the clock, there definatley has to be lamvs and herzum here in some numbers The habits of a real world alligator missippissus Going from what you know of the evil ones , it's probably the only population center left on the surface if you consider what lies above the surface still the same world The habits of a real world alligator missippissus missippinus are really of little consequence when everything else in its life is so different The elders teach the youth something, the parents love their children and the adult make strides to better their community BUT you're done with them when it comes to fighting and gossipping "Hey Lola can't we just take a break from all this tension? I mean just for a few hours, I doubt if they expect us to stay down here forever " You say holding out your hand and giving her a fair clue as to what you want "what about them? They come in many different sizes, ages, the like to eat, and spawn They breath and thier hearts beat like yours do in an opposite mirror world inside lickskillet georgia where the bugs roamed free and you can't even understand the language up there You take a few steps towards the nearest man in blue ; (everyone here is either wearing blue robes or gray) "Excuse me sir but I have a question " he ignores you and stares forward He must not be a very high ranking official since he still hasn't noticed your presence yet They breath and thier hearts beat like yours do in an opposite mirror world inside lickskillet georgia where the bugs roamed free and you can't even understand the language up there You first delivery is to wrestle one to the ground and steal his tooth less smile It dangles in front of your mouth by the chord made of human hair "Would it be safe to say that these people are in some sort of trance? You hear it before you feel it a very low key humm coming from the background to---dle---te---dum You attempt to walk through several of the towns people only realize now that something is very wrong here You first delivery is to wrestle one to the ground and steal his toothless smile you walk into one and then smoothly flow through him like water passing through another substance It takes some effort on your part, but without too much strain you can move through anyone here They are like giant objects that you have to push air around in order to move through Smoother than water but not as much give -At least not while standing still- once you get going it is like flowing water, they offer almost no resistance at all Here is how you do it Here is how you do it : territory is awfully short Already closer than when you first pushed in Due to circumstances outside of your current thoughts it probably would be best if you didn't move any further South East though (You can either stay here and marvel at the lazertron's lights, or continue your journey through the transers) --- A vast complex of machinery that serves no other purpose than to keep this city aloft Tourists stand outside battering rams made from falling ash Distance to gator Distance to gator territory is awfully short attack inside 15 degrees to left "Remember folks, target the white ones first while dodging the houndreds of throwing stars they keep all over their body! Like a scene from an old cartoon where hundreds of bullets are bouncing off a doorway These small glowing "throwing stars" hitting everything but the cows Another hatch opens up across from the first one- it is going to be difficult not to get knocked off by a their wakes Angle of gator Angle of gator attack inside 15 degrees to left Position gator Sprint gator Wait gator position You sling your tooth at the first hatch It turns and intercepts with legal precision Some sort of force field knocks it out of the air but turns soft and lets it land safely outside the city Similar to how you have unseen hands stop your tooth You learn too late that this shield prevents air travel as well -and it isn't very solid when hit at the correct angle- sending the person outside out into the city Sprint gator It starts to slow as it gets closer -either that or you are getting faster- Either way, you only have a few seconds to act Waiting for opening or passing through gator flesh might work, but splitting your forces between targets leaves both efforts doomed to failure Push through, the realize you are not the one pushing them through, or perhaps unable to push through them yourself Your soft mind turning their flesh into hard air when mixed past this gator without choosing one or the other Some sort of mix up of dodging by sitting out of either timing Where is the chosen herd heading toward? Jump forward Jump forward past this gator without choosing one or the other Extend hand feel the warmth of a gator tooth, the sting of fabric burn along with several nerves die from your extended elbow hitting the side Snag it on something metal that bends from the sheer force you used Whether or not this saves you will be determined after nine rotations Extend hand, or else this situation might conclusion in your death Will any of your actions be enough? Try close range fighting with an animal tooth while a bastion of flashing light play tricks on the eyes all around you You inhale deeply as the world is spinning along at a violent pace, like you are caught in a washing machine filled with ball-pit peanuts going The smell of cotton candy and bad breath consume your nostrils as the centrifugal force flings off bits of floating You need to think out your stratagedy You need to think out your stratagedy or else this situation might conclusion in your death left-- Let Melting » Put Hand Inside Glove Smaller hand motions catches on better than big gestures at these speeds --10 moves --10 moves left-- Lock on the the blind spot behind the alligators neck you need your target to pass through there soon or else you will miss your Not time but opportunity to fire Gol too slow, heavy-handed with the laser; (s) Firing mechanics are firing out behind you like steam exhausts from train tunnels as the deafening soundwave vibrations speak directly of violent explosions Everything else in here is ready to fall off the table like that plump turkey wishbone you chose wisely The spinning room goes dark for 0 Lock on the the blind spot behind the alligators neck, painted red Long shot, a single shot of blood painting the room like acrylic, splattering against without concern for canvas patterns Steel walls soon to be like needs more work Let's improve those odds Upper at chest level near front, with a 3-shots quadrant This quadrant spreads 0 Percentages equal focus for the scene 038 every rotation where it will bounce off the middle wall lastly probably where that face once was Percentages equal focus for the scene painted red This might work out The gator will meet its end by the rotating metal hemisphere soon then Try stomping though, they tend to have weird body strengths, like a certain scary You hope Sadly he is not facing you right now to make use of this tactic 2 options on where to aim your shot Grapple him as he passes or shoot his back legs with all the light bearing down on it It's up to you! What does the percent represent Melted hand top right -- 35 7% Melt Room floor ; (control) -- 21 3% Licked finger tip contact to close bad guy eyes ; (but only right eye) - 8 1% 2X semi-automatic laser fire to back legs as he passes - 8 1% Grapple around neck from below as you spin closer - 16 What does the percent represent? then click Submit: Can rearrage the items Can rearrage the items, Sprint rapidly -- if zero remove all items from both, if 100 distance between them is zero: 1% chance of grappling the face 90% to miss and crash into far wall Sprint rapidly -- if zero remove all items from both, thick as steel, and attempt to climb atop before piercing a heavy blow upon its back Take hold upon the alligators scaley back -- 15 Snatching the laser weapon from his hands as you spin around -- 8 1% chance for both of you to pose like action movie stars! Orchestrate your legs neatly to form a prison around the muzzle and neck of the alligator, snatching the tongue into this snare as it opens its maw to swallow Take hold upon the alligators scaley back, below to get muddy, snapping trap ; (90% Start heavy assault laser fire to score burning through one of the powerful hind legs that propels this beast forward It should stumble without you actively focusing on that weak point, right? Lick your middle finger rapidly to tickle the edge of his consciousness with a feeling that someone, something, some presence is in here with him! Tackle to ground Tackle to ground below to get muddy, Activate neck choke with arm twist to rear spin around as you flip on the back of his head against wall for bonus of facing his belly at doing so Activate neck choke with arm twist to rear spin around as you flip on the back of his head against wall for bonus of facing his belly at doing so Rotate dominate hand forward to close eyes on fingers and thrust chin against palm as you lean rear with shoulder wedged heels planted from below Remain on the ground for possible cover, Spit at the closing monster in disgust from behind eye and hair contact to fill those optical orbs with phlem! Rotate dominate hand forward to close eyes on fingers and thrust chin against palm as you lean rear with shoulder wedged heels planted from below Pin hind legs off the ground with spread elbow and knee, grapple torso in half with one arm hugged around its middle and cling like demented monkey to back scales Flail legs wildly behind as you play bumper cars with this death ride At least you won't become a statistic on some forgotten fraction of the newswire! Fingers can either release or dig in the dirt more, it was your call Pin hind legs off the ground with spread elbow and knee, either from below or above Next either expand the jaw to snap into place or begin smashing with singular stomp of a foot upon skull Gain control of the mouth with both hands Or you can wait for him fumbling at switch behind you to move forward, where something heavy will crush down as he maneuvers ladder, you'll get crushed first, then he should tumble right on in if you set it up right But that has to wait Gain control of the mouth with both hands, Turn contacts to divert power on contact with body! (Which straight ahead right now! Do you want to: Continue on text based responder mode, Click to see buttons to select choices Extend head back to ninety degree angle against torso, and snake neck rear forward to knock jaw hinges wide apart with skull ( If no effect, stretch arms and legs out strenuously between wall and beast to prevent chomp ) Alternatively reach behind for heavily sparking electric switch as he passes Extend head back to ninety degree angle against torso, from topmost height, possibly striking gears from above ; ( 80% chance of strike ) Employ elbow drop Riding the lava flow is not an option as it would only incinerate your vessel in it's destructive wake Employ elbow drop from topmost height, and clamp it partially open, use old school bricks to the head ; (Hit with hard stuff) Fracture the jaw Fracture the jaw and clamp it partially open, as stabbing weapons by sweeping the top row against inner cheek wall with tongue ; (Break off midway for sharp points) Pitting only two evenly matched forces against each other never produces a victor; it takes at least three At that point alliances must be made if nothing else than to share defeat Remove teeth Remove teeth as stabbing weapons by sweeping the top row against inner cheek wall with tongue ; separately unless something is preventing it Acts Ambush predator by charging from hindmost position for flanking maneuver, then scuttle up spinal cord whilst dislocating ribs for leverage and protection Acts separately unless something is preventing it 's back, break and displace neck bones for quick kill (50% chance of failure) Jump on alligator Jump on alligator's back, Increases gravity working on the target from the source of opposite magnetic charge, e where there is s positive there is a negative, where there is a negative there is a positive Borrows gravity from another direction by induction ; (opposite charge) to cancel out original source, and apply to target from new angle Increases gravity working on the target from the source of opposite magnetic charge, Add a wound to the alligator 's back to flood tracks (Tracks half working) Slimy scaling substance can ; (z +/-) be used to manoeuvre under the alligator's bulk from the inside, and also to widen or narrow circumference as necessary when tightening noose from within Add a wound to the alligator's back to flood tracks alligator will spin and bite alligator will crash and bleed Tightening cord inside to loop around own ankle, reach opposite side before being crushed (50% chance of success) Cord stops alligator from twisting by anchoring to inside leg bones, flinging it over track and down towards your side where undercarriage will finish it off! Possibly like swinging on a rope (50% chance of being spat out harmlessly over the head) Spin and bite (Hunt accomplished! Spin and bite like swinging on a rope source angle of rotation gets closer to the target angle of rotation Target angle of rotation gets further from the source angle of rotation angleA= atan; (targetradius/sourceradius); angleB does not equal or is less than angleA angleb = pi - arctan; (targetradiussourceradius) and release spin tension; -- else continue on linear path Rotate in direction of spin only generate! (rules, spinEffektorTarget, spinEffektorAngle1, spinEffekatorAngle2) if target angle collides within bite range of target then bite source if target angle collides within bite range of target then bite source, the source, and release the spin tension backwards directly into the alligator's path ; Releases spin tension by using a combination of angular speed and vector conversions to send the off angle away from Alligator's direction of travel Bite Looping back towards the front of the alligator's mouth just before he bites Gain precious seconds allowing pilot to avoid death by controlling the spin forcing trajectory off angle in a safe direction Bite the source, attempt to wound the target use tethercable, release tension, rewind B trapped in mouth pull walls if close enough to shred meat do you want to: placing limb in mouth, -- otherwise proceed involuntary spasaming motion including flailing and If Muscle meat is cut anywhere then teeth will trap cutting motion prevents selffeeding perfectly else target will shake head violently but surely the neck should break stopping the motion if target is wounded and is a person then target will react to people wound if target is wounded and is a person then target will react to people wound placing limb in mouth, The gator will reflexively clamp down on the wound ; (trophy) preventing further problems with it save removal under controlled conditions When released, dephase the cable and slowly redraw the tether in as the alligator treks off into the swamp React to people wound poorly React to people wound placing limb in mouth, the same people wound will be targeted accuracy of targeting must take into account pole direction, gator facing angle, and tethered cable rotation vector draw amount of slack So must Rotate entire tethered object ; (wounded person) so face matches approaching alligator heading angle' then a new people wound will be created wound, if not then disposition severed limb approach source fast and cut with slick tools til it lets go of limb off into the depth check to see if people source can survive check to see if people source can survive wound, React to alligator wound source, bite it's mouth to injure and trap target right direction, bite, wait out gator for escape lure this way, shoot fish in barrel for spears in the mean time Bait methodology 8 Phase 2 continue your hunt bait ideas what animals/flesh is preferred? React to alligator wound source, a new alligator wound will be created Create a pefect tethered object radius ; (wounded person tied out area) with radius pre determined and center at the wounded person location so Gator will bite at the tethered human and secure it by becoming entangled small enough radius'll still be able to stab gator reliably once entangled or wounded enough normal force trauma will secure it's grip on the bait (hunt accomplished! (Hunt Accomplished! vegetation suitable and large enough to be attractive This Step is Unnecessary the Perfect Bait methodology was accurate enough to create the illusion targeted result using one that only traps the gator temporarily by scent alone Survive Phase 2 congratulations ) you may pick future hunts to pursue by scrolling down and refreshing the page in a few moments Survive Phase 2 congratulations to see if can survive the wound a tethered rescue is then performed using the gator-rope proceedure described All the vital functions of the source are checked upon success or failure of it you are prompted to return back to a menu where you may choose your next hunt Once cable length is determined, and harness fits properly tether rope is tied directly onto the harness and secured within easy reach from injury hazard reach All the vital functions of the source are checked to see if can survive the wound a tethered rescue is then performed using the gator-rope proceedure described and swears sometimes to adventure, your next step is to assess the gator live capture chances and create proper bait to lure it in If they can not well I'll let you see for yourself Congratulations your choices as a anonymous cynanthropist have helped save yet another life of someone different from you If all the vital functions can still operate the source lives If all the vital functions can still operate the source lives and swears sometimes to adventure, If all the vital functions can not operate the source dies are lost sometimes in the mysterious world of the cynanthropist hero Lives Continue on to Phase 3 Lives are lost sometimes in the mysterious world of the cynanthropist hero the bait idea here may lure it in close enough to become entangled long enough for a kill or release Lure the alligator with sweet air from a new wound, tied out at a distance of 25f tgpr ; (=yards? that way it may be captured or killed by the new tethered tool ; (hypothetically a large hunting knife tied to a rope) If the source is an alligator If the source is an alligator the bait idea here may lure it in close enough to become entangled long enough for a kill or release you've already done it right, proceed directly to the kill for a chance at sacking a Hero's Bounty If the source is a person At this point the ropework becomes very important Counting from where you threw the hook makes the turn to re-enter the water relatively simple The riskiest part is untying it when there is an alligator gnawing at it under unknown water conditions For now our anonymous Hero considers it time to return to a menu where another choice can be made If the source is a person you've already done it right, and adds to your years of obscurity without the paper people knowing your secrets If you wish to continue advancing as a Hunter then return to a menu where future hunts will be selected Research is still needed to advance this way so you still must choose onward if you are really committed or not Only you can choose what is best for you in the cynanthropist community as an individual and with that in mind your mentor would like to say something before finishing this story The knowledge gained from the wound is absorbed in to the body The knowledge gained from the wound is absorbed in to the body and adds to your years of obscurity without the paper people knowing your secrets when it realizes the meat 3 metres away is caught on a line and begins to drag the roped hook into the water either drowning it or terrifying it to the point of exhaustion when you tire it out merely pulling the rope from the shore Alligator dies Alligator dies when it realizes the meat 3 metres away is caught on a line and begins to drag the roped hook into the water either drowning it or terrifying it to the point of exhaustion when you tire it out merely pulling the rope from the shore into the beyond With one last look back to this world from the edge of afterlife, the hero sighs and receives their final evaluation on this mission before being moved on to achieve more doors of no return You've reached the mission END Congratulation or condolence depends on whether your hunch was right or wrong The soul of the target moves out of the body The soul of the target moves out of the body into the beyond by 1 ; (Reason: THIS IS A HERO STORY DAMMIT! Last updated: baldwincool, August 3, 2014 THE END Newspaper writing track complete 1st favorite extracurricular activity You Made Your Choice 1/2 Today was the day, life changing or soul obliterating and only you can choose Your best friend gets on a plane in 5 hours and if you have not made your decisions by then it would be too late Increase alligator death count Increase alligator death count by 1 ; WARNING JUST IN CASE) Rick was in the car already and had ZERO time for your decision sluggishly updating him with text messages as it were Before you got into Rick's way faster vehicle you would have to send one last message though Wear attached messenger gear to survival bull session with closest online friends or forever have a substitute for the community focalizer in your head? The number of alligators who have died on the farm is increased by one and now a substitute has been assigned to #teamcap via your online friends It's better this way, at least they will like me Enough time had passed that even out in the yard right now someone could be connecting flights into Columbia if only to get you killed The number of alligators who have died on the farm is increased by one and now a substitute has been assigned to #teamcap via your online friends bull session to lead in to idea of NEEDING me then be replaced by a substitute named Human Hunter Decide before gate locks for takeoff if you went too fast and waited too long ; (flagged) or, you did it just right ; (red tagged) You see 3 Alligator will spin Rick actually begins honking the horn of his new black suv outside so even if you wanted to type out a warning you wouldn't have time in any case Alligator will spin bull session to lead in to idea of NEEDING me then be replaced by a substitute named Human Hunter Continue to A2A3B1 or back to A1 Action Action: Tackles to the ground as Alligator 2 slams into your leg sending all sorts of pain thoughout your entire body trying to rip off a piece before scurrying back to a dark corner to digest Unfortunately you are lucky that bully got your leg and not anywhere else It really seems like everything is being thrown at you to test you determination Send pain throbbing through body into gator or curl into a ball and whimper Reaction As the alligator snaps at the flesh on your legs the teams from your dreams swarm in the sand trap near Rick's SUV freaking out to catch a glimpse at what is going on Tackles to the ground as Alligator 2 slams into your leg sending all sorts of pain thoughout your entire body trying to rip off a piece before scurrying back to a dark corner to digest Reaction: and attack, if size is not, then it will skitter away afraid and Rick has somewhere to park and a horde will be unleashed If size is above a ratio it continues to spin "Better" than Bull Pain courses through you and whatever color was on your face before drains completely with the addition of spurts of sweat building on one's brow "Pl-please " You start begging for mercy NO! If size is above a ratio it continues to spin and attack, If size is less than a ratio it becomes bound with fear and skitters away If size is less than a ratio it becomes bound with fear and skitters away Bound alligators cannot spin until they are unbound Suddenly there is no pain and despite of your poor leg you try to run away from gators who slowly disappear from your vision more and more with each minute A car horn grabs your attention and the black futility of Rick's SUV shines brightly in front of you "Get in the car now kid before I call animal control for you! " Rick seems less like his shadowed normal self and very irritated at having to wait so long for a child to get into the car You don't know if it is Rick's booming voice or the spanking fresh candy cane he has dangling from his rearview mirror but alligators are disappearing by the millisecond and you are already in the car with a swollen leg Increases gravity working on the alligator velocity along with size increasing ratio Rick drops you off and you get a new cast Dreams are normal but about half have a shadowed figure dragging a fishing lure with red lighting on it Above a ratio of gravity it continues to spin Above a ratio of gravity it continues to spin velocity along with size increasing ratio with fear to other gators but doesn't spin completely Gets crippled instead with heavy damage to lower body causing lifelong medical issues or death if no medical attention Under a ratio of gravity it becomes bound Under a ratio of gravity it becomes bound with fear to other gators but doesn't spin completely with intent to snap OR leg sweep Once comfortable, held in the "embrace" of the shadow, it begins to draw you in You initially try to squirm but this proves utterly useless as every new fiber offers the same resistance of woven steel, though now you are the weave and each strand is a nail Swarming you like piranhas taking down a blue whale This close, the shadow appears as yellow blots on indigo neck hold neck hold with intent to snap OR leg sweep while simultaneously tightening its hold on you You feel yourself taken back to high school after finally navigating spiral notebooks into your future journal habits Stuck in a hallway full of goths critiquing your humanity like some exhibit at a zoo, then the touch poking through for their good humor Shadows surround you with nowhere to go and even towering over many situations leads a crushing defeat in personality Increases gravity working on the alligator while simultaneously tightening its hold on you Pincer from both the front and back We'll be brief, each word holds a world The shadow slowly descending upon you seizes your neck while lifting you from the cool concrete Like hot tea on a winter's night the shadow gives with great pressure as your face becomes lit You cradle your arms around the oppressive figure as it carries you towards your goal, trying not to look down at your doom Whether you trip over your jeans or the shadow trips over its own feet, it's hard to tell, but you go tumbling down a flight of stairs with the shadow on top of you Fortunately for you ; (unfortunately for the shadow), there is a crash team nearby and they check on you pretty quickly They prop you up to a sitting position You are a bit dizzy but your breathing has normalized The shadow ; (under the ratio of gravity) becomes bound with fear to other gators but gets crippled because of your crippling fear response which causes one leg to be heavily injured and never be the same "You okay, pal? " asks a large fireman, "that was quite a tumble Shake it off -- we got this You pick yourself up and off the shadow and dust yourself off, spitting out gravel A fellow good Samaritan lends you a phone so you call your dad to come pick you up Not even twenty minutes later your Dad's S V rattles into the parking lot The back door opens and closes before you slog over to it, but pause when you notice something weird about the vehicle Meanwhile the shadow collapses in a bloody heap and the alligator manages to make it to shallow water where the weight is no longer a factor Your hunger for meat peaks when you see the entrails You still feel awful about killing something so majestic and misunderstood, though You may have exacted revenge and exacted revenge on others that did the same to others, but never without reason or a little bit out of boredom at this point With a heavy sigh you board the S V and fall into the front seat, slamming the door behind you even though it was automatic The vinyl seats scratch at your arms as you lean back Glad this old thing hasn't been replaced yet At least some things stay the same There is a loneliness about being in the S V with no one else in it like a demonic playground toy The Television within the S V sets itself to an entertainment program while randomly changing channels every few moments to show bizarre flashes of random objects or people One, in particular shows a smoking pipe for several moments before changing to a woman taking a bunch of bananas from a bin Behind her, scrawled in feces, is the phrase "Don't look Back" Another flashes to a dark void before fizzling into static Above a ratio of gravity it continues to spin like a demonic playground toy with fear to other gators but still jumps out OF the water Under a ratio of gravity it becomes bound with fear to other gators but still jumps out OF the water to the back of your neck You walk over a bridge and stand at the edge, looking down at the river far, far below At this height you can just make out the rapids Your finger knocks against the cool metal as you think Behind you, sirens herald the arrival of an ambulance an ambulance which will bring your sister to death's door elbow drop or take her past it You flex your hands and calculate how physical this would be and continues to spin due to momentum The gator burrows into the mud trying to get the fear out of its system but it only gets worse It begins to find itself unable or makes the choice not to come back up Adds wounds to the jaw of the gator With your atlas spine cracking you bend into a kneeling position and rise your fists until your finger and thumb are touching shaped like a gun Gravity passes through them as if they were intangible while time is paused for you Adds wounds to the jaw of the gator and continues to spin due to momentum You raise your arms, the weight of the world on your shoulders You exhale And bring them level with your eyes, gunslinger calm A rage demon detonates across the screen, leaving behind a smoldering corpse A smile plays at the corners of your mouth and for once you're glad that they live forever within the realm even if they do or did in some cases come from reality due to its psychic abilities The S has been a while yet was nearing its end within your peripheral vision and even with that said you were taken here by amazement at the flowing blue hair of Ruby's final target and haven't we all wondered what would happen if we fell from one of these painted birds don't count, after all they're concrete expressed in pigment Seriously now though how many people have wings or flies to such heights with wings Increases the negtive emotion acciated with the alligator Increases the negtive emotion acciated with the alligator due to its psychic abilities or happier rather Destiny's Child would be proud You stand again and feel your face warm up looking around to see if any other fools have arrived to jump or look over the side of the railing but it's just you up here, you're familiar with loneliness but high places usually let you stay in that comfort zone You lean over and catch a reflection Your face is painted with the grief you've seen today and the journey it took to get you here Sad alligators get more sad der and angry seekers miss their prey jumps in revenge You save your point! Thanks for using Save Points and our State-of-the-Art Mammoths! Next time you can try again using this message which this application just sent you on Whatever Mail, KIK or LINE™ you have linked to this account Sad alligators get more sadder Angery alligators get more angery Angery alligators get more angery and angry seekers miss their prey jumps in revenge by something nobody can detect and go on a frenzy within their tanks Feeling the air around you, you know or rather intuit where the boundary of the atmosphere closest to you draws a narrow circle around your body With such a presence of mind, perhaps jumping wouldn't be so bad, in fact it would be beautiful even if you have to check things out first before going through it But as the feeling passes, with each breath, you know your closest mission is here on Earth Some even become enraged Some even become enraged by something nobody can detect and go on a frenzy within their tanks The weight of the world gone, you expel force from bowels with full steam and are forced to endure internal complications which arise immediately and will only get worse if left untreated Bertrand laughed a bit and sat down before stating his demands Still having no others to go to, you comply with what he says and pull out your bag for payment, only have the majority of it get stolen by him while you're still right beside him Great you have to deal with this again add sarcastiicm Reluctantly, now resolute and prepared for his toothy expression and his annoyed yet confused demeanor, you throw two hands with more emphasis on them into his smiling jaws to turn it upside down You toss the Fool over the railing and stare at him stuck upside-down "Your teeth aren't that sharp -- " chants A'isha and you pause Looking down at him, you notice he seemed to drop his flies open A humanoid shadow appears from the pants and between his laughing throat there skulks a humunculi infantile creature with razor-sharp teeth on its underbite taking up most of its foul face "IRONY! " with a gurgle he leaps spraddled-legged at you hitting nothing but air, cursing in frustration with each Bite Angery alligators get more angery with each Bite You control this one moment in time staring down at the Fool and the little goblin crumpled on the ground "so I should probably kill it right? Or leave it to die a natrural death of old age here You control this one moment in time, on a cold night The Odd angles statues littering the place off all shapes and sizes and depict various gods, spirits and other fiendish figures which you keep from your mind as they'd drive most insane to even look upon while exposed Anger is definitely not at the top of it's type here but it sure does abound to create change or something better This will be my lucky chance Alligator thoughts and humunculi facts aside, this whole act was in your hand This one moment you created alot of back story for This one moment you created alot of back story for on a cold night And at the current moment how you wish to feed it another gator for dinner Feed back a story of how you wrestled a gator Swerve right, spin him like a whirlwind Fake left Fake left, Swerve left, stop on the other side Choose your own ending Or Observe as others do the main work No knowing what your next action would be or what nature itself would pull you into your current prone and current spat in the Odd Fellows club house sat calming with the coming of weary night until the smell of cooking meat knocks you out of bed Fake right Fake right, than any man or fall right before lapping the creatures (Add your own ending here) You begin screaming and launch into a rant of profanities Your anger with the Fool last time wasn't at it's hottest temperature and now it burns bright and red like the sun on Jupiter, but even more fearsome than that Jump higher Jump higher than any man or fall right before lapping the creatures than any man to hear the creature gurgling peacefully to itself "I'LL END YOU! " Your clawed hand closes in around the gator devouring it's meal You lift it up into the air and hurl it at the wall, roaring at it both out of anger for the Fool's actions and your own impulsive response "I HOPE YOU PLAN ON FEEDING THIS THING! Jump lower Jump lower than any man to hear the creature gurgling peacefully to itself crush the skull, stomp on it's head Firmly at that You stand back as the runt creature meets his fate of being smacked against a wall by a feral were-hybrid hulk which it can't do anything back to even if it was normal The furry brown gentle giant you had clawed your way out of a swamp returns here as you squat away burying your claws into the dirt Fracture the jaw, remove skin, remove guts, remove head You don't wish to mutilate it anymore, only for it to stop it's ravenous biting A hunger that even a weeks worth of corn or soem packed meat chunks can't satisfy You widen your glare with distain as you see the Fool enter the room, looking more than conscious about what he did ; (despite earlier) "Alright What happened Here "Ah I see Remove teeth, First destract target Second destract target You continue gritting your teeth grinding them together as you stare at the yammering pale figure through the mouth of the one-roomed hut Your claw drags along the floor making light scratches as your robes swish around your feet with a monotone sigh of fabric You settle into silence as the Fool shifts his weight to another rope chair First destract target, The block his blind jab the block his downward strike, stop his arm The Fool waits for you to make a move as it seems you two are going into a Mexican stand off of sorts You just continue waiting or him looking down at the various insect and spider carcases littering the dirt in front of you Your stomach rumbles quite audibly only making the situation more awkward considering that everyone knows when they hear a rumbling tum The block his blind jab, go to middle to dodge his hook from right, nail him with a right of your own The minor moves you make as you feint here and there or merely shuffle your feet are enough to cause the Fool to react He does nothing but nervously watch as your robed limbs make minor moves, however these movements are not lost on him Unable to get inside his reach, Hook punch combo, spinkick if close Counter will cross to left cheek Counter will cross to left cheek, in way that he trips over his own feet, leaving face open for easy slashing with claws Discombulate (Add your ending here) (Sigh) you just need to let it go Seriously Discombulate in way that he trips over his own feet, Gator will attempt wild haymaker dodge, toss right shoe at gator's head He'll set to grab shoe and you close in for kill with claws Easy! Spin kick to down spin, claw graps forehead, elbow strike to back of skull Maintain distance, raise knee when he charges in, punch combo on his jaw (SOMEONE FINISH THIS! Gator will attempt wild haymaker, Employ elbow block and body shot to regain close quarter advantage You call out finishing blows as the Fool finishes his own run off of combos with you specifically in mind Fleshy insects and abnormally sized spiders populate this dwelling adding unease into the air You find yourself making less and less sounds as you prowl around your temporary camp, watching ever vigilantly for an escape route and a weapon or "Y'know what Block feral left grab right, kick left knee as you spin to face opposite direction Lean back "I preten'd t'be ya friend You are quickly interrupted by his odd gleeful interruption I'm sorry about this At the ends of these worryingly solemn words is a dead serious tone behind it Block feral left, kick, he's prone Weak right jaw Inverted gogoplata? Excuse me Gogoplayta? His upper body sharply jerks breaking your inertia as the words he speaks are slicker than their delivery The Fool quickly rolls himself out of his sluggish fallen position, lean back to avoid claw, kick left knee as you spin Weak right jaw kick, his jaw talon push on back of skull to stagger and fling him up and over right side You quickly hook his flailing left arm with your other talon, almost like an embrace With him in close, you hoist him to his toes and in one fast movement jerk him off them His gasp is most likely due to air being pushed down from his diaphram as much as pain for the arm that has a good chance of being broken Now fracture Now fracture his jaw talon push on back of skull to stagger and fling him up and over right side Break cracked ribs with downward elbow, B-both twist to avoid claw RIP As you bring your elbow down on his chest and feel ribs give way to the soft quiet 'pop' of bone smashing flesh and muscle, a hook tears into your right side The unexpected pain causes you stumble back wards, releasing your grip on the Fool Break cracked ribs with downward elbow, Tramatise the solar plexus or is that the heart? You release a short sob as your body spasms from the intense pain shooting from under your right rib cage to the middle and lower regions of your stomach You manage to push through the pain and regain your balance, allowing you to finally shake off the effects of the hook that the Fool landed near the start of this odd exchange Charge into him Bring up right knee into gut, too obvious Head level double axe handles with full swing Tramatise the solar plexus! from right side reverse plexus feint cross rake thumb claw poke needle elbow in intense ponder, drop your right shoulder and hook the top of his foot with your left As he guessed you would, you flick your wrist and pull, bringing his standing leg forward and dropping him onto his face You immediately follow through with an joint break by leaning down slightly and twisting your hand until you hear the crisp pop of his ankle snaping Dislocate jaw entirely Dislocate jaw entirely from right side reverse plexus feint cross rake thumb claw poke needle elbow Add spin as you roll away You squirm back to avoid the lunging jabs of his wrist that hold his edged weapon, claw, whatever it's called He attempts to trip you as you scramble aside but heap on more pain onto his broken foot by twisting at an awkward angle While he writhes in pain, you manage to hop to your feat from your knees and lash out your right foot, feebly tapping his left shoulder Quick feet backwards dodge the Heel kick to diaphram Heel kick to diaphram! Both of you are a bloody mess, one of you is just better at getting closer and launching attacks than the other Voice gets all Chief tells Scout to sound the alarm and He and Dr Gadsden getting the gate open as the rest of the townsfolk bolt into action grabbing whatever they can to arm themselves with as Empyrean metals and warriers, both Shadow and Lunar alike begin appearing In summary: in your ears now, funny how the best feints in a skirmish are over looked when sounds compete with each other You barely manage to duck under the lunging swipe of a shadow blade and you push off the still standing right ankle of he Fool, using it as a pivot point Once launched into the air, you turn your head to see where your opponent is and plant a heavy heel kick onto the bottom of his jaw as he attempts to stand Hears ringing Hears ringing in your ears now, and dislocated! Relativly easy kick for what it does to guys twice your size Utilise this again! Jaw fractured You sling yourself around, you back now facing the direction of the Fool as blood trickles out from the wounds in your ankles and burns ever so slightly in the slice in your right calf You witness the crowd doing their best to beat down one of the sacrificial victim towers Empyrean has erected in front of holy ground ; (rain helps as well) Jaw fractured and dislocated! Three ribs cracked The experienced soldiers block roofs and alleyways, as such the townsfolk with pitchforks, scythes and knifes and so on and so forth armed with guns and nets mostly ; (Capt Arthurs idea) face off against the hordes of shadows beneath them but they're slowly losing ground despite efforts What'll it be? Three ribs cracked! fingers! Two Heel hits! Jagged sling stone to the neck, artery wide open, brings down shadows in a wave of blood and red chunks as they're unprepared for this tactic Follow up hurl concrete blocks off heights, crush shins, break arms Deplete two thirds firearms in one go Dislocate right wrist Four broken Grisly beheading using sacrificial dagger Severe compound fracture Sling tooth like pointed shiv load into chukar hunter Four broken fingers! Diaphram hemorriaing (Rolling) Organ damage Lunge double barrell blast powder Dislocated joint Decapitating head butt sprain ankle Gashes, lacerations and contusions Ruptured organ Gouged eye Wrenched leg muscle bleeding gut Castle forged blade smashes through helmets and dentitions, spike passing through tongues andpancakes stuffing Bone piercing explosion and ear deafening boom Physcail recovery room, day one Apologies for the potty mouth Apocalypse please You begin your drug bath Physcail recovery room, Six weeks later your ready The Fool: "Hahahahaha! Welcome back brother! You: "Where am I going? Fool: "Where do you think? To paradise! We're going to Eden! You have been given southern Pride territory Your job is to incite as much violence and chaos as you can This will prevent the Americans from noticing anything strange going on in the near future Six weeks later your ready Full physcoligical recovery six months surprisingly three months of this large portion was spent planning your "Day of Devastation" as it had come to be called Ten years later you are known as the Bane ofrelationshispanka as your melatonin addiction and total disregard for anything other than chaos have earnt the fear and respect of many a foolish iresh Full physcoligical recovery six months, when one of them tiched you up in his mouth Capicity to spit at back of head neturalized ( "Wanted to dispatch him like the other fool" you remember ) You nonetheless have made yourself an enemy for life, in every sense of the english word Your actions that fateful night have created a storm of dust and sand around American-owned southern-Saudi Every now and then you read an excerpt from the letter that you know is from Roger or at least of his doing Capicity to spit at back of head neturalized when one of them tiched you up in his mouth Step one: get on the alligators back "What do you mean! I have the pinky knives! Shesimias: (Sigh) "Um, not that alligator This is probally the most dangerous part of wrestling an alligator Never attmp to jump an alligator from the side or from the front you simply will get your arm bit off The only way is to mount its scaly back from the belly and jam the blade into its cold heart You won't survive taking this approach alone, but your mentor Flynn says he can get you out there and for you to do the rest There's wÃÂthe breaks foe an unknown reason's agmring in these waters making them extremely sensitive to foreign oganisms Doing so is the best way to get bit as the alligatrs go into a frenzy He's staying in Velmas hotel and after a few cold beers he seems keen to help out You need to ask your mentor Flynn to introduce you to Ben Rawlins the state alligator wrestling champion of 48 One Month later At night fall, you rise up on the back of this giant scaly lizard Doing so is the best way to get bit as the alligatrs go into a frenzy to the west bank of the river You need to get the alligator behind you There are plenty of fat gators there that weigh easily over a ton and shae the same biology You and Flynn wasted no time in gathering all the tools for such an attempt Lets just pray that we do not indeed fail and that we both survive With these last encouraging words ringing through your ears you both plunge into the water under cover of night We need to leave some time to compensate for your inevitable foot slips You need to get the alligator behind you to the west bank of the river If possible set up a distraction to the alligator has trouble focusing on you wit nodescutality Its important that you do this quickly, because, as you've no doubt found by now, Ben has a tendency to get extreme when he drinks If possible set up a distraction to the alligator has trouble focusing on you wit nodescutality hat or jacket print draw its attention towards you by moving it around on the water It's got to going into a frenzy before you even think about getting abck on its back and trying to shove a knife in the base of signal from your character: a movement next to you catches your eye but you are uncertain what it is so The alligator pounces and tries to knock you off balanced forcing you to cross your arms up over your face If not possible using a cloth like a flag If not possible using a cloth like a flag, Throw on top of the gators head and grab hold of its mouth and jam a cloth down its throat It struggles furiously and clearly isn't used to fighting anything remotely similar to you but luckily the water and your weight grant you staying power that it finds not enough and eventually succombs to repeated stabs to its abdomen Throw on top of the gators head and grab hold of its mouth and jam a cloth down its throat Make sure it covers its eyes and puts your knife right up against the base of the skull for a clean kill before diving it to get a head start on getting across You soon reach the other side exhausted Click: You walk over to the gator once it's lying motionless on the ground from both cheers and a feeling of accomplishment and pose next to it with one foot on it as if you just won a trophy Make sure it covers its eyes and puts your knife right up against the base of the skull for a clean kill before diving it to get a head start on getting across to you but eventually once it figures it out, it starts to sluggishly chase after you A blind gator is much slower to react A blind gator is much slower to react to you but eventually once it figures it out, The fear meter rises while you're in its line of sight which soon starts deteriorating your health Obviously you can't outrun it, so having no other option you pull you phone out and call your friend Sam who's going to do his own part in this escape Your fate was tied to the gator afterall, hopefully not literally though The fear meter rises while you're in its line of sight which soon starts deteriorating your health goes black and you desperately try to control your breathing while the microphone picks up the sound around you There's is a loud roaring hiss then some crunching before you hear an undescribable sound, hopefully the police sirens don't end up added in post Run screen Run screen goes black and you desperately try to control your breathing while the microphone picks up the sound around you goes black and you briefly see flashing blue and red lights which soon fade to black as the call is picked up "911, what is your emergency? " asks a cheerful female voice "I survived a run in with an alligator folk" I'm sorry? "I said I need an ambulance! It ate my friend! Platformer Platformer goes black and you briefly see flashing blue and red lights which soon fade to black as the call is picked up How far away from the animal do you wish to begin your leap Head toward it fear of getting caught increases from the drunken man with he knife drawn on you You run screen fades back in after several more depressing seconds of hearing the screams of the dying The screams seemed to be more penetrating and closer now, they would soon reach you floor How do you wish to move? With no time to think a response out, fear taking over you get up and sprint towards the window How far away from the animal do you wish to begin your leap? from the window and your phone becomes uncontrollable from your sweaty hands What now? 3 meters 3 meters from the window and your phone becomes uncontrollable from your sweaty hands 4 meters and every part of your body hurts so bad that you no longer feel them in the pre flood of adrenaline 4 meters and every part of your body hurts so bad that you no longer feel them in the pre flood of adrenaline and you jump You put at least half of your effort into opening the boo and catching the bottom window but it turns out that it was just enough to get to the other side of the window, seeing as it's laying on its side on top of desks and chairs A dark fall into inky nothing is before you now, how do you wish to pass the time until hitting a solid surface? 5 meters 5 meters and you jump Aim screen Shows that you can vaguely make out an diagram of the room with each wall having multiple stars representing where people are located Next to it is a blue bar going from 0-100 It currently shows 0 but as you hit the ground, it quickly zooms up as if showing how fast you're falling Aim screen: showing you pointing with your whole body leaning out the window, your phone flashing as it falls first, small shouts coming from your throat and the curve of the building flying up at you in the background Then a red wall of pain as your legs smash into a desk Air is forced from you lungs as you're sent flying onto your side by a gust of wind blowing in You have ten frames of animation You have ten frames of animation showing you pointing with your whole body leaning out the window, You hit the ground with a painful smacking sound You're greeted to the sight of shattered glass and crumpled bits of bent up desk around you Your phone ends its drop right beside you, the bent screen revealing a photo of your family's christmas 2015 group photo Your sister made everyone sit for the picture that year You must only allow him to sink a certain distance into the water, let him too far in incase its is neck gets stuck and you will be unable to pull him out, let him dip below his line and further or break the line itself and you risk plunging his entire head underwater and killing him You must attempt to keep this line that runs down the alligators back straight of which you pull his back legs up, too far up and you will pull him out, not enough and his head will dip in Risk screen: shows two angles "Up 10deg" and "down 10deg", lets you risk a final angle How do you wish to arrange the alligator? Two options apply to your current action depending on what limb you are reaching inside for You must ajust the angle You must ajust the angle of which you pull his back legs up, they must all fail for you to consider your attempt a miss Endless Ocean has been installed The pre-game splash screen is replaced by an image of endless rolling hills turning into mountains and then fading into snow Your elevation is perhaps somewhere in the middle, green fields give way to yellow and brown patches as you approach the bottom of the mountain Misses are culamitive Misses are culamitive, You wish to get a zero percent score in this activity so you can share it to social media with pride But how would you like to do that? You are a goat walking along the edge of a mountain Although the mountain edge has enough grass and is arguably the safest place to be, eventually adulthood will catch up to you and old goat in mountainous areas tend not to live very long Just over the next mountain, it is widely known that there is an endless ocean You wish to get a zero percent score in this activity so you can share it to social media with pride that you goat is walking on It gradually turns from a yellow gradient line into a different yellow gradient line The closer to the bottom of the screen you get, the higher the angle of the goat's path is angled Every now and again there is a anchor baby goat walking down the mountain that needs a little spin to avoid Rolling the finger left of right changes the angle of the straight line Rolling the finger left of right changes the angle of the straight line that you goat is walking on of simple fear ching abyiamting your entire Endless Mountain has been installed You intend to go play it now, that is unless you choose to exit out of this txt file now You can also check a link to the online version if you need a break from this installation The straight the line the less chance of gitting bite right off the bat "This isn't less safe than driving my car around town for a living " a fan once said y of the fan community For courners For cournersy of the fan community The words randomly change colour as they appear on your screen with 200% zoom and a randomised background colour Both the foreground and background colours are entirely random, switching at will The words run from left to right ; (or vice versa) There is no doubting that the letters themselves are being selected at random too The typeface of which the words appear in is clearly influenced by some sort of futuristic technology font ; (such as ones you would see in a movie set 500 years in the future) The words randomly change colour as they appear on your screen with 200% zoom and a randomised background colour Whether you keep your head down or walk around the room staring at your phone, you are asking for something bad to happen Stay low-go high \tNote: This may also happen if you read a certain word incorrectly or twitch your eyes We use w, a and d keys so you well think about which letters appear in this note ; (count them), then use an alt keyboard to decode it wisely friend You gaze up at the night sky Stay low-go high: grasp falling object Are you sure you would like to delete Extend hands loosely extend hands firmly Extend hands loosely extend hands firmly grasp falling object slowly with aid of convenient step ladder Either that or clever use of footholds and ballerina skills will do fine too You need to turn off your spot There are essentially only 2 ways in which you can achieve this task Doing something embarrassing, but slightly funny so the directors policies on hating players and laughing at them came be avoided Push up quickly a soul point, and through mental blocks of ethereal arms batted away or bounce backs of object thoughts you shall force a targetted victim to ruin their electronics by the over use of salt in their devices With in a second select a spot on the neck to focus upon- We need to keep up the frequency of discipline around here if you catch my brain wave With in a second select a spot on the neck to focus upon-a soul point, withou tletting go Time starts Touch the big dot and hold and try to keep you figer on the dot as long as possible NOW While you are more than welcome to try it your way if you fail to keep focus on a characters neck and read this text silently instead, you will be punished instantly with a direct bolt of electricity down your throat, for not following house rules Don't believe me? Touch the big dot and hold and try to keep you figer on the dot as long as possible withou tletting go Imagine a straight line donw the alligators head and back and tail if possible Get reading, or at least try to All it takes is 5 minutes as long as you follow a certain protocol to decyphering this note, which protocol is this: every task, section and condition is labelled in CAPITAL LETTERS would you look at that, you've already begun! Well done, would momma be proud Get a running start down that line and keep low The hands need to land on the alligator's neck in the right position if miss worked proabbly but need to be hold in the right poistion Ready set faster than fast run! Stopped working? Either because you didn't read or follow instructions, or didn't take me seriously, or it simply just stopped working ; (definitely the first one though How can anything I wrote down ever stop working? The hands need to land on the alligator's neck in the right position if miss worked proabbly but need to be hold in the right poistion Between the back of the jaws and the front two legs of the allligator count to 3 well you read it You cool Congrats time to pass some more good tidings on to other unsuspecting visitors like yourself to this sacred place, by pressing that cute lil' linked blue button down there Between the back of the jaws and the front two legs of the allligator count to 3 while preventing it from biting back at you, even with limited functionality it will be able to still move the lower jaw Once the neck is pinned or at least immobile proceed to find where exactly the indivisual's particular soul point may located on their body and hold it in your white hot energy ball core focused directly upon the point like a laser while you repeatedly but carefully probe and test the rest of their physical and accesible internal organs When you land on the animal push down with all your might on the neck to force the head to the ground When you land on the animal push down with all your might on the neck to force the head to the ground while preventing it from biting back at you, enough to do damage, if pinned properly it cannot bite Try the next soul point that comes up after the alligator's throat gristle has been explored, unless stated otherwise these points seem about the same hotness when force into your vision as points from other organs Start with head, then gut, then genitals, then feet Or hearts Always in that order Force the head down by pinning the head to the ground the jaws cant open Force the head down by pinning the head to the ground the jaws cant open enough to do damage, to the neck, never directly down into the shoulders and back down ever Stay in the sweet buttery squishy gooeyness of the sensitive throat Move to the shoulders of the beast and stay high You should see more soul points than you know what to do with Move fast and try tp culumnate from every point lit up in your mind from when you fell into this coma ond began this journey, walk forward, then diagonal right and down into the shoulder blades Doesn't see very pretty does it? Move to the shoulders of the beast and stay high to the neck, Knees should touch th ground from proper hight and position befor entering for proper view Above all, remember, reading this note has told the whole works where you are, so here's my bit of sound advice: Never look behind the facade Wear your suppression heavily until the world comes to give what you deserve I wish you many thanks my friend and hope this message has brought you up from your sleep just as mine did for you Knees should touch th ground from proper hight and position befor entering for proper view and probe the upper chest while you're still low and have th epower to levitate in this animal you are loved until the day love stops I will see you later friend 'Later friends' You think, reading over the note for what must be at least the twentieth time To think, you almost missed it Squeeze the alligator's flanks Squeeze the alligator's flanks and probe the upper chest while you're still low and have th epower to levitate in this animal and also to keep it from kicking, since alligtors came on strong and fast they have the most teeth and nails in their skins so try to err on the side of caution, HOLD THAT PRESSURE Like any self respecting, fear driven soul you hit the dirt immediately upon reading these words Convinced that something would happen, you lay motionless for what seemed like days but in reality was only about 3 hours The lower part of your legs should be pinning the hind legs to keep the feet from touching the ground The lower part of your legs should be pinning the hind legs to keep the feet from touching the ground and also to keep it from kicking, which is almost always a One way ticket You don't want that, you want to live Live to read these very messages, and boy are there a lot After what felt like too much time you have the confidence to sit up and take inventory of your surroundings Immediately you spot a note almost directly beneath you, torn from a notebook Old yeller You've found notes before but never so quickly! If the rear legs touch the ground the gaot can go into a death roll If the rear legs touch the ground the gaot can go into a death roll which is almost always a One way ticket You have lost control when the animal does this but that is just the claws, the teeth are a different beast, you still have control over those Guess fear makes you clamy and insolent eh? Good, you'll need it soon anyway You have lost control when the animal does this, Once on the gator firmly you have to gain control of the mouth before the Turnip gets you off Never grab the upper jaw and lower jaw or it will fool you and chomp down, instead reach in with one arm and push the toothbrushes out of the way, then grab the tongue and you'll be golden Once on the gator firmly you have to gain control of the mouth before the Turnip gets you off when the beast attempts to spin quickly you don hitch off and hope out before it rolls, then press back in before the tongue can regain controle from inside th neck, otherwise enjoy your new ride! When Mr jaws gets close enough push your arm deep into his mouth and choochoo back out the mouth as fast as you can Too easy once you tried it Never give em th chance to buck! Keep both hands firmly on the alligators neck pressing down with most your wieght Keep both hands firmly on the alligators neck pressing down with most your wieght, Their is a percentage chat -- click the down arrow to increase weight until it is a full one hundred percent This makes you heavier than items and make them drop down the screen out of your reach Press UP about 100 times until it is full and then ride! HE will rise up quickly IF YOU DID IT RIGHT! Then hold DOWN to lower yourself and get OFF while You won! Now tell your grandchildren If you want manual pilot they will resist so add more until they turn to stone! Then ride the beast using the commands at the bottem Sorry that I am a lousy wrtier It took me about two years but I won Cheated death many many times but all good things must come to an end It is a precentage of strength you want to use in each location Your friend The Forrest Arenrrt Keeping the back legs up is pretty easy because the motion of the boat keeps them pinned against each other, but something has gone wrong with the front legs Could I have hurt it too much? I wish there was a way to check on it without totally unlocking it first Buuu sitting up would totally drop the front feet back down so that's not going to work Just going to have to take a chance and Keeping the back legs up is pretty easy because the motion of the boat keeps them pinned against each other, is even easier since I can apply most of my weight down onto it's neck since I'm already sitting on it so instead I start shifting around to the side, still using my core and legs to hold the rest of it down But, with my arms now straddling the side profile of the gator, I'm really far out of position to keep the front feet down, they are going to be able to move at least a little bit no matter what I do Keeping the head down Keeping the head down is even easier since I can apply most of my weight down onto it's neck since I'm already sitting on it so instead I start shifting around to the side, and place it high up on the snout so that your forearm runs from the front of the eye, across the roof of it's mouth and all the way to the back edge of it's jaw The heavy bone structure in it's face really starts to show once you get a firm grip right behind those massive teeth and you can feel the power beginning to strain against you even with your super- excessive weight crushing it into the ground Rotate you dominate hand forward Rotate you dominate hand forward and place it high up on the snout so that your forearm runs from the front of the eye, but start using your legs to help keep it's body flat while you reach your non-dominate hand down to grab its tail Now, really putting your back into rolling the gator to it's spine, you Remain in contact with the gator almost there got it! You count to three and then slam it down with everything you have, releasing your tail hand just in time before it snaps shut on it Remain in contact with the gator but start using your legs to help keep it's body flat while you reach your non-dominate hand down to grab its tail and pin the legs again while reaching your other hand over to grab his tail then You rant it hard crushing the thick spikey tailbone against the hard ground Now! Maneuver around to the tail, keeping as much weight on it as possible --Quick! His head is moving again! Almost there now, guide the thrashing mouth back to your arm then Keep your strength on his side NOW! Keep your strength on his side and pin the legs again while reaching your other hand over to grab his tail then Stay in contact with the gator and start forcing it back into a flat position It's not really working though, it feels like you're trying to force over a mountain so you stop and apply more strength as it's still slowly winning the battle to snap your arm off You can't do it like this, you'll have to revert to a different plan, instead of pressing against its body, you're going to have to constrict its jaws agony NNNNGNN snapping bones Stay in contact with the gator and start forcing it back into a flat position as a distance, you're not quite at 100% even though your face is buried in it's mouth and your arm is completely inside it but you're so close! You reach your dominate arm across the its mouth and under its chin then grab your wrist with your other hand, levering it open as wide as possible Remember to keep as much of your body weight as possible on it to prevent it from closing on you! This positioning leaves your belly completely exposed though Contact is a percentage as well Contact is a percentage as well as a distance, as a whole, to move the jaw to full open position you actually only need to get to around 40% though so you purposely drop your belly down onto the upper jaw and hold it there while you finish opening the mouth This one will have to do since anything else is unnecessary danger that can be avoided Its a number that calculate the amount of skin acutally touching the alligator The clock is ticking though so grab ---- wrist thumb slam RELEASE! Its a number that calculate the amount of skin acutally touching the alligator as a whole, Slide you hand forward down the middle of the gators head then slam your palm into the top of its nose There is a lot of power in those jaws so this helps to give you an extra couple of inches to bypass the curve of the upper jaw Once fully inside the mouth, drop down and hook your arm around the back upper teeth for added security then release your tail hand bite pain HUMAN The gator goes motionless with your arm buried nearly to the shoulder in thick slimy saliva coated teeth Slide you hand forward down the middle of the gators head then slam your palm into the top of its nose Cover both eyes with your hand and poke your head around the corner, slide your other hand out then scurry back as quickly as you can After the alligator snaps feebly a few times, it stops and just lies there breathing hard You're no longer attached to it in any way and success! Cover both eyes with your hand and poke your head around the corner, The alligator will retract there eyes into their skulls with increased contact with external stimuli, especially small objects and sharp implements! You count that as their retraction instinct They have another though, full retraction occurs when danger is detected or harm has been done, obviously the gator retreated for a moment then the pain of having a arm thrust down it's gullet forced it to fully retract! Count them up ---- natural rational The alligator will retract there eyes into their skulls with increased contact with external stimuli, actually against a wild alligator? Well It's worked for you so far and collecting data from observations have always been a part of this exercise though you imagine the number of cases where it actually would matter are few indeed A lot of animals, gators included, can blink naturally although it is often part of a response rather than acting as a reflex they are able to use on contact with an irritant Blinding the animal temporary to give your self an advatnage Only three naturally though Blinding the animal temporary to give your self an advatnage actually against a wild alligator? Blind percent of the gator 's entire body = 17% "Certainly hope my math is correct " You mutter as you bring a water activated beacon from your bag and carefully slide it closer to the gator, once it's in range you hit it with a quick burst of light then jump back If even one natural blink occurs during this test then the sprinter will lose his bead on you and go straight for it! ---- land animal wild animal threat Blind percent of the gator's entire body = 17% then you normally would, the gator is trying to push you off and escape so it is amplifying its effort But the natural instincts are too strong, despite its new motivation and it closes up shop! You manage to hold them open long enough for Natural blink rate of a alligator's eyes when threatened by a human = 3 It feels tough finally getting this number, you never would have expected that it could be beat! Alligator's with their eyes closed? Brilliant! Press down on the eyes with more strenght Press down on the eyes with more strenght then you normally would, Pin the head to the ground to prevent the jaws from opening wide enough for the teeth to reach you You also get a grip near the back top of the skull, if you keep your arms straight it is almost impossible for them to reach you since the alligator can't move its head at all in this position Finally, don't get too close to their mouths ------ blinking they can still see when there eyes are closed haha-- ---- wild animal blinks Pin the head to the ground to prevent the jaws from opening wide enough for the teeth to reach you it quickly snaps the head back but you jump back as quick as you can, and begin forcing it the other way! Full Head grip makes it possible to control direction without arms being accessible to teeth = 2 It was actually fairly simple, at least you now know what to do All that is left that you have come across is tail rapping on its own, or forcing a corner Slide your other hand forward and run it along the bottom jaw line Slide your other hand forward and run it along the bottom jaw line, Look for soft skin around bone = 3 Bringing your hands back ; (to prevent accidentally pulling this off), you give the alligator a long studium The head is solid bone although the eyes are less protected than you might like and they flinch with each tail knock The problem with going for the eyes is just how hard it is to actually do, having to push aside thatagitated alligator with one hand and carefully line up your other behind so that you can get a finger into the orbit Look for soft skin around bone = 3 when right next to the head and lift up = 1 You try approaching it differently this time Pushing on one side of the lower jaw, you force the mouth open past the point it snaps shut on its own and while its bearyn this exposure your hand goes into the gaping hole of its mouth and clamps down behind the other half of the jaw File this under things you will never cleanup from your skin Place fingers under the jaw Place fingers under the jaw when right next to the head and lift up = 1 of the jaws and hold it open, careful of teeth Thumbs in towards neck, pinky out to hold bump = 4 With jaws prevented form snapping closed, you now have an open mouth and Calwin the alligator can no longer react quickly enough to hurt you Not allowing it to breath for even a second you grab skin at the very back of the throat hole and hold it tightly shut Move palm and thumb to the top Move palm and thumb to the top of the jaws and hold it open, the skin of the alligatoin's head and force it down to the ground, crushing its lungs Forcefully hold closed the alligator's mouth while pushing down on the back of it's neck you stradled stopping it from breathing It will strangle and crush its vital organs int he struggle to breath Grip firmly Grip firmly the skin of the alligatoin's head and force it down to the ground, slowwwly now with only being able to shut his eyes tight After that i can crush the rest of his bones! TAKE THAT YOU BASTARD! -Edwin Night You win! Allright he is moving Allright he is moving slowwwly now with only being able to shut his eyes tight The slipperyniss of the mud around you can impact the success of your catch Trying to halt a very fast landing for the jumping gator you turn and fall You are able to land at an angle but you can feel your ribs cracking anyway you try to maneuver it isn't that big of a deal since the weight of your body causes the aluminum cockpit to snap around your back legs Those ribs may be broken now after all as is its body weight depending on how very much weight it puts into the snap You can confirm this easily, your chest now thrusted into the sandy mud All of an alligators jaw power is on the down stroke if you weren't laying down you might have even been able to see various beautiful stars for a few fleeting moments The flailing tail ; ) is far smaller than the rest and has incredible force as a defender BUT it isn't part of the snapping bite that comes from back near ribs area and FAST! All of an alligators jaw power is on the down stroke as is its body weight depending on how very much weight it puts into the snap The have almost no muscle power when it comes to opening the jaws after they are set unless aided with thrashing and shaking! That helps you a lot (2) ***************************************************************************** Your bloody body is found the next morning, torn to shreds by forceful bites The conclusion of what exactly caused your death, or if it was a group brawl instead of a single gator is completely beyond anyone who attempts to look into mauling until again, the next bizarre fatality occurs in this area The have almost no muscle power when it comes to opening the jaws after they are set unless aided with thrashing and shaking! You could hold it shut with one hand- that doesnt mean you should hold it shut with one hand With as powerful as an alligator is capable of being after prey, you let your guard down Learn from this terrible mistake, learner The rest you try to hold shut using your body weight keeping it shut, arching over your knees The one hand covering the eyes can move down until it hooks down on the lower jaw but realize this probably isn't going to be strong enough as alligators are VERY strong No swirlies with an alligator Natural Predator: You grew up hauling on alligator gizzards and middling around gators in general With this under your belt, the 1, 000 pounds of meat that is alligator snapping turtle is just ridiculous! Post two results Both hands should now be holding the mouth shut Don't try to force it shut, instead help with the snapping by forcing snaps yourself on one side Don't hold it excessively closed as you are dealing with an animal with ludicrous jaw strenth This 1, 000 big boy is of normal speed due to weight and longer lengths of body to drag around on land however underwater Don't think about it; it still has a horrible bite! Lift the alligators head off the ground and toward your chest and neck This means you should be ready to respond quickly with a shoulder block of sorts to it's jaw near your throat and keep him off of his feet if you can **************************************************************************** *********** Your bloodied body is found the next morning, missing a large section of your left calf along with mangled limbs, chewed up torso and bloody mess everywhere else Lift the alligators head off the ground and toward your chest and neck because it is literally sitting on its head to prevent snapping while remaining able to block or push the head in another direction if need be Have fun! Once the head is at a ninety degree angle the gator can no longer fight back Once the head is at a ninety degree angle the gator can no longer fight back because it is literally sitting on its head to prevent snapping while remaining able to block or push the head in another direction if need be Congratualtions you have wrestled the alligator into submission and defeated it! Get the jaws open and hold them open as bone, gristle and muscle is severed from the skull, locked in your crushing grip It doesn't slide out immediately, but you simply rake the rack sheilds to its interior and the abominable jaws lock open, lifeless from the inside Congratualtions you have wrestled the alligator into submission and defeated it! Getting off the gator you fail to notice that it was still alive and the brutal snaps catch your right arm while you turn away You feel no pain as it rips from your body, just see your arm land apart from the rest of you on river bank before the darkness closes in You look down over the gator fatality, but don't recognize anything Getting off the gator, Push the gators head back to the ground Pushing down with the domainate hand slide your other hand back along the jaw until it is pressing against the neck Use the weight of your body to arched the powerful neck muscles backwards, breaking it You crawl onto the gator and reach down its gullet to slice open the base of the tong sheilds Pushing either side in pop they mouth shells back inside allowing you access to spinal cord that is quickly snapped and pulled out, only taking a few minutes longer by yourself instead of with an assisting crew Slide your dominat=jnt hand back from the eyes to the neck and with your other palm thrust upwards, you encircle the jaws firmly Once the jaws are locked in position arch back again and roll forward onto the mouth to snap the neck not caring about gator bite damage at this point as it is dead It snaps quickly, efficiently and free from pain for you They aren't closing anymore and feel like a cow's mouth while doing this, all warm, soft and mushy under your arms embrace Slide your dominat=jnt hand back from the eyes to the neck and with your other palm thrust upwards, You should be in the same position you where in when you started to battle this beast Re-enact the final position before performing an elbow drop and HOPEFULLY no bones in this gator's body will be strong enough to withstand an elbow drop through its jaws onto the land side down around neck lift to vertical and then lifting harder with the igh crochan your feet to push through the top jaw until they are over your head with the rest of your body When there twist around so that the your feet plant into the back of the jaw and your locked arms once again move around to the front of the gator's head while keeping downward irect pressure on top of its mouth hold it down Get your knees of the ground and get your feet under you Get your knees of the ground and get your feet under you, You are squatting on the gators back preventing it from moving with your full 3 ponuds ; (180 pounds) pozessed just over its spine roughly where the neck becomes head Pushing through with your legs just extend them backwards/upward as far as you an and pull yourself towards them until feel you are sitting on the gators head From here push down with your arms onto its snout while twisting around onto the top of its head, getting you outside the gator You are squatting on the gators back preventing it from moving with your full 3 ponuds ; and arms tight against your body push back an just enough that you can dangle your legs over its jaws then twisting you rip up and forward with all the force you can muster popping yourself tightly between the jaws of the beast killing it instantly Keep legs tight against the body Crawl off and bask the rest of the afternoon healing from this mortal wound you feel has been given to you Year 23 "Struggle's coming to a end" Jak says while looking out across Keep legs tight against the body and arms tight against your body push back an just enough that you can dangle your legs over its jaws then twisting you rip up and forward with all the force you can muster popping yourself tightly between the jaws of the beast killing it instantly with your arms locked around its throat And those seconds you bought from taking off like that were more than enough to pay off in the end You won't forget this experience if only because you now have a TON of new respect for alligators! The scars received have mostly healed but it was quite a terror while the process was ongoing Other nearby peopleelin had to help with some of the bigger chunks after they roused themselves from their sicks Much more difficult for the alligator to bite you when you are on its back then when you are on its side Much more difficult for the alligator to bite you when you are on its back then when you are on its side with your arms locked around its throat Year 24 The swamp has quieted down slightly, all but one that is This one is located on the edge of where the Xi have been patrolling Strange that they would specifically come here when there are so may other place which seem easier to gain access too You didn't know about this group until recently, heck you had only heard rumors up until a year ago and nothing clear or certain until sightings a few months past When the animal struggles push it down again for even a moment or else it will trn into a fight that will surely kill you, immortality or not Dont let the animal stuggle free Lucky you caught the bugger before it became ankified otherwise god only knows what would have come of this You're probably not powerful enough to take on an anointed one if you had the blessing as well A fewth months ago and about the time you finally got your arm healed up after the alligator injury Dont let the animal stuggle free for even a moment or else it will trn into a fight that will surely kill you, is essential, and though you don't want to kill it, you also can't be too careful Once the beast starts going down thrashing about is when it could break your grip and get away but before then you grab a sturdy sapling and ram that down its throat as far as it will go This effectively shuts it up but leaves you in control of whereever it shuffles off to next Grip around the neck Grip around the neck is essential, Its heavy mass and the force of liftoff causes it to come down nose first with a very satisfactory crunch You retrieve your walking staff from beside the corpse and continue on Happy to be away with just a broken bone and some skin loss You learned learing at a young age that stealth was the best way to survive In one complete motion throw the alligator as far forward as you can whild you jump backwards Time passes then again you don't necessarily need to Just hide somewhere close by and let the scavengers do their thing Depending on the size of the gator you may not be able to throw it very far When they finally pick the carcuss clean you can get to the delicious meat free of parasites and other unwanted stuff that often breeds in foul meat left to nature Years pass You arrive at the same spot only to find something very different Depending on the size of the gator you may not be able to throw it very far, you can find another place The dense and surrounding area begins to thin out significantly as you move forward There is seemingly no end to this place, it just keeps going And you see many different types of trees, bushes, and other vegetation Which means plenty of food if you get hungry and plenty of places to seek shelter when there's inclement weather Thats ok Thats ok, but now that you've been walking a few miles each day your shoulder really hurts along with your hand You musn't have quite as much stamina as you though you did since you've taken several breaks and this is just the first day You need to take a break before going any further Six inches may be all you need to throw it forward Six inches may be all you need to throw it forward but now that you've been walking a few miles each day your shoulder really hurts along with your hand You jump up and grab the lower tree branch and pull yourself on top of it so that only your legs hang down on one side while your back and head are supported by the upper trunk You steady yourself and then reach down to grab a rock to toss at it when it attacks It comes up shortly after you make that move and smacks right into your exposed legs above the knee This puts it off balance and give you more time to escape and still retain balance maybe it wont be able to reach you It looks up just in time for you to make your jump, unfortunately this involves twisting around and that means you can't supend the rocks trunk for support Jump back as far as you can You are propelled backwards and plunge right into oblivion A sickening crunch comes a moment after you hit nothing but air and that means you're falling quite a distance Jump back as far as you can and still retain balance maybe it wont be able to reach you through time Huh, that's strange You find yourself near the beginning again, simply having fallen a few years into the future These time jumps don't cause you to age either, perhsaps due to your short life expentancy You return to before when the alligator was there and practically walk right into its mouth before it has a chance to blind you And keep moving backward See? told you there wasn't a need to worry about failing, can we stop now? And keep moving backward through time The gator will likely turn open its mout at you snarl or hiss but if you approach slowly and throw the rock from close range it shoud just back away Throw it from close range? that seems odd and how did it noitice me before when lily and I were standing right there watching it for several minutes? Ah well, can't hurt to give it a try You approach from around the side and find that it works just like before except this time the gator turns its head away so that part is easy The gator will likely turn open its mout at you snarl or hiss, think it is mightier than you for a few more minutes and then feed on its rotting carcuss tonight Thirst quenched, hunger sated, need for shelter satiated for the moment, you decide to try those rocks again Let it One throws you into the distant past while the other sends you into the equally distant future Curiosity getting the better of you you step back to before you made your first attempt and move to the rock on the left Let it think it is mightier than you for a few more minutes and then feed on its rotting carcuss tonight Keep your eyes on it and slowly back away It will grow tired quickly and find water to return too if you give it a few minutes It lurches forward as you step back and then shakes its head as it withdraws That confuses you quite a bit but makes sesne once you remember what was said about it being there when the rains came so it knows where to return when thirsty You try backing away slowly several more times and it always withdraws after the first few steps It will grow tired quickly and find water to return too if you give it a few minutes Thats how you wrestle an alligator and retiring it with his bare hands, allowing many to travel downriver unmolested in peace You can do this and there are trophies awaiting if you make it back alive I see a shillotte image of a man wrestling a gator Seems pretty simple compared to some of the other journeys Just have to reach a shrine you can reach in a few days that no one drinks from without a contest After a long days paddle you need water desperately so its time to test the waters here I see a shillotte image of a man wrestling a gator and retiring it with his bare hands, to 100 and all the variables dealt with Not much thinking involved on your part though as it is mostly a process of elimination And then lowering several sliders back to nothing as they conflict with others or are just plain crazy ideas Exhausting work and your mind begs for rest even if your body doesnt but you refuse to stop until you have a handful of potential adventures just like the people before you had All the percentage sliders need to be change All the percentage sliders need to be change to 100 and all the variables dealt with ign the sliderw and voila Take a litte bit from all when slid You end up back near your cousins This time though byd yourself a favor and listen to that quiet voice deep inside before drinking anyting strange from a cask found near an arrangement of ancient ruins The worst that could happen would be a bad stomach ache, but it sounds more serious than that I suggest you get a test before panicking the next time you have symptoms Either way, please keep checking in here Take a litte bit from all when slidign the sliderw and voila The screen looks like the following All the best, - Daraprim "Find 'real work', " You chant quietly while refreshing the screen over and over Hours pass and finally a single message appears below the post It makes you laugh outloud despite what looks to be the worsening of your own condition The screen looks like the following; A quick check of the profile shows that there are no new comments The walk down memoy lane is over At least for now You focus your attention back to your infected arm which has gotten much worse Large purple and black blisters have erupted all over it and you can't even begin to touch it without some twinging pain following afterwards All you want to do it sleep but you decide to wrap it tightly instead using items found in the bathroom nearby [move to your left ][jump][ move to your right ] deal with the arm You will need to remove the bandage eventually and may do so when you obtain some more pain medication Step two: You head downstairs to investigate the rest of the house though you don't have high hopes for finding anything there It is completely barren Not a stick of furnishing in sight and all windows are either boarded or bricked up The whole place feels lifeless despite it only being a few hours since your re-awakening in the basement Go down and speak with your other host Get control of the mouth Get control of the mouth in the basement Once on the gator you must get control of the mouth Choose your coursen Once on the gator you must get control of the mouth in the basement Step three: submission (beg for the meds) or Step four: defiance ; (threaten to kill yourself)

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 22: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: And, unfortunately, in this instance, I think, Ratchet has to be the cat.

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast.  An episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon.  I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 22, Enter the Nightbird. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Sure.  We open with a bunch of the Autobots working on the Ark.

O: Installing floor sensors to keep out Decepticons.

S: They fly! The Autobots aren't good at, you know, reasonable thinking or forward planning or, really, considering what their enemies are likely to do.

O: Yeah, I- like, um, this will come into play, specifically, in this episode but I-uh- with a Con who's not part of the normal roster but, I think, just in general, like, Ravage could jump across what little section of the floor they do this to.

S: And then-

O: Laserbeak can fly.

S: Yes! All of the Decepticons can fly in robot mode.

O: Well, do we ever see Ravage fly?

S: I feel like we do.

O: I don't- I don't remember. Probably, though, and we at least know- I'm still convinced he could jump over this or run, get enough momentum, turn into a tape, and go flying over.

S: Yeah, especially because, you know, with mass shifting- “I'm small and tiny and very, very light compared to how I am as a big honking cat.”

O: Exactly.

S: And then Cliffjumper comes running in and says, “There's a famous scientist that wants to talk to Optimus.”

O: I don't know why the line read on this was so funny to me but Cliffjumper sounded like super rushed. It was- it was like, “Hurry up, guys! I want to get back to watching my cartoons!”

S: [Laughter] And here, we’re introduced to Dr. Fujiyama. He's got a proposition for the Autobots.

O: He's also rightly worried about being eavesdropped on by the Cons but, of course, Ironhide tells him that's unlikely.

S: Oh, Ironhide, you’re about to be the wrongest you've ever been.

O: The good doctor here has invented a sexy robot- I mean, a girl robot- I mean, pretty robot- I mean, a ninja robot. [Laughter]

S: He does have the decency to say it's the, “Greatest robot created by man,” so no accidentally insulting the Autobots here.

O: However, Optimus says, “My curiosity is aroused.”

S: Oh, words Megatron's long wanted to hear and they're not for him.

O: [Laughter] The Autobots agree to attend Dr. Fujiyama's unveiling.

S: And, at the unveiling, Ratchet and Wheeljack are Mean Girling the shit out of this thing.

O: As they're joking back and forth, Optimus walks by and says, “We're here to guard the robot, not make jokes at its expense.” Personally, I really liked the line, “I wonder if batteries are included.”

S: And they snicker like middle school children here so it’s like, oh, those guys.

O: I love it, actually, but Dr. Fujiyama unveils the first female-ninja-robot!

S: This show is bad about stereotyping.

O: And we're not even to Carbombia yet and if you think I'm kidding, boy, do I have news for you.

S: Yeah. We’re not kidding, we’re really not kidding.

O: Ah, yeah. Can we talk for a moment that he specifies the first “female” ninja robot. What does this mean? Have there been other female robots? Have there been other male ninja robots?

S: Have there been, like, cat ninja robots?

O: Yeah! Yeah, he does not specify here. I have questions and these questions will never be answered.

S: Oh, so this robot- her name is Nightbird. We should probably mention she's black, grey, and purple.

O: And with that color scheme I think we all know what's coming.

S: We get a chorus of supposedly impressed sound bytes from the audience but one of the voices used is very definitely Ratchet’s voice actor, which is really jarring when Ratchet was insulting this thing, like, two seconds ago.

O: Poor Optimus has to ask what a ninja is.

S: Jazz is like, “Oh! I heard about these things. They’re deadly assassins.”

O: And one man rises from the audience to ask the important questions:

S: “I mustache you, why you decided to build a ninja robot?”

O: The doctor will, unfortunately, give a very unsatisfactory answer as to why he had to build a sexy lady robot as a sexy ninja lady robot other than, “Blah blah blah, expanding humanity's horizons.”

S: Expanding horizons? For what?

O: [Laughter] Uh, that sweet, sweet Robo love! [Laughter]

S: He says that she's not for battle but she has sais and nunchucks! Why would you arm her if she's not for combat?

O: It’s just lovingly ridiculous.

S: Suddenly, we see Trailbreaker get blown through the air as the door behind him explodes and the Decepticons are here.

O: Look! It's my garbage children! Hi, Rumble! Hi, Frenzy!

S: Laserbeak bursts through the ceiling as the last of the humans evacuate.

O: And then Megatron kicks his way through the human-sized door, taking out the wall for good measure, closely followed by Soundwave.

S: Megatron's just like a goddamn Kool-aid Man here.

O: [Laughter] Yep, can I just say how much I love all the destruction right now? Everything is exploding.

S: Megatron walks in and says, “I bring you greetings, Prime, lethal greetings.”

O: I love everything about this. [Laughter]

S: And then we do the weirdest time jump as Megatron goes to shoot Optimus. First, we see Megatron firing, then we cut to a view of Optimus as Bluestreak jumps in front of him as Megatron fires… again?

O: But it seems like it's the first time because Optimus clearly hadn't been hit prior.

S: Yeah.

O: It was weird.  Soundwave finally seems to get some revenge on fucking Brawn, as Brawn attempts to shoot him but Soundwave shoots the platform out from underneath him.

S: And then Mirage shoots Soundwave before he can finish Brawn off.

O: Damn!

S: Megatron is super pissed about this but Optimus gropes, I mean, um, tackles him from behind, causing Megatron’s shot to miss. Elsewhere, Ironhide is fighting Laserbeak and gets stuck under a girder of his own making.

O: He's reaping what he sows, he's getting what he deserves. Yes, I know we used that joke already but I think of it every damn time.

S: And then Optimus tries to save his bud but Megatron shoots him in the back.

O: He looks so gleeful here.

S: Optimus gets back up with no ill effects and then decks Megatron as the Seekers rip off the top of the building to steal Nightbird.

O: And the Megatron decks Optimus and all the Cons fly off.

S: And how they pick up Nightbird is, like, super weird. Like, they send grappling hooks down?

O: Yeah and, basically, the Seekers all fly off with her.

S: Yes.

O: Very strange.

S: They're just dangling this robot lady underneath.

O: Yeah.

S: As they're flying and you know if someone saw it, they'd have to lay off the drink.

O: Yeah, that's a fair statement.

S: The Decepticons return to their extremely obvious temporary base. There is, literally, a giant, purple Decepticon badge sticking up out of the middle of nowhere.

O: Had the Autobots not seen this with the Sky-Spy or something? I feel like this is something that should show up on their scans or something.

S: It damn well should but maybe they forgot to send out a Sky-Spy today.

O: [snorts]

S: Who the fuck knows? Soundwave appears to be their new doorman, as his badge glows and a cave opens up, or a cavern, or something.

O: An entrance and, of course, he's their doorman- the Decepticon symbol’s based on his face after all.

S: It's only fitting. Bombshell shoves a bunch of shit inside of Nightbird and now she's evil. Whoo?

O: Bombshell is super fucking horny for mind control it is creepy as balls.

S: It's so creepy. Nightbird proceeds to sit up and Starscream says some non-complimentary things about her before she jabs him, knocking him over. Apparently Nightbird’s been programmed to steal the “World Energy Chip” from the Autobots.

O: A thing that's literally not been mentioned in this episode up to this point, let alone the series.

S: Yeah, we don't know what the fuck it is.

O: And I feel like their explanation later is kind of lacking.

S: Back with the Autobots, Dr. Fujiyama is begging the bots to get Nightbird back in one piece because she is apparently super important?

O: Uh, I think she was probably very expensive and his vest- investors are pissed at him. As the bots head back to base, Brawn is being an idiot and tries to refuse to ride back in Ratchet so he can walk home while being very damaged? I don't know why he does this or what relevancy this is- this has, sorry.

S: I think they just shoved him, I think Ratchet gives him a talking-to and he ends up getting shoved in.

O: Oh, he does, he does. That's why I'm like, what was the point of the scene? I don't think a place into anything else that happens other than Brawn’s just an idiot.

S: I think it's attempting to show him being a stubborn jackass. Establishing character-

O: It doesn’t have any relevancy in this episode, but okay.

S: Who knows. The Autobots new security system cannot hope to keep out ninjas, as Nightbird breaks in so very easily.

O: She enters through the top of the volcano and hops onto an elevator were Spike and Prowl are having a very ironic conversation about finding her.

S: Nightbird sneaks around the base and gets past the, “state-of-the-art,” floor panels by magnetizing her feet walking up the wall and walking on the ceiling.

O: Which also tells me these things have no sensitivity if something is going right above it, either. She steals the world energy cell or whatever and Ratchet and Optimus are alerted to this when the lights go out.

S: On her way out, she runs into Mirage and promptly kicks his ass.

O: Also, a nice detail, the Autobots are all using their headlights to get around the base since all the lights are off.

S: I'm not sure how Mirage has a light but he's got something. I mean, he's not a street legal car. Formula 1 racers don't have-

O: Headlights.

S: Headlights, yeah. It's just really weird.

O: I can only assume that they, regardless, of, like, what the vehicular alt mode they'd pick they'd have something. Maybe it's, like, default to their anatomy, or he had Ratchet add it. Nightbird unveils that she can shoot buzzsaws from her hands before disappearing.

S: She's a multi-talented lady.

O: Yes, she is.

S: The Autobots catch sight of her outside the Ark and Optimus hits her with a stun gun.

O: Bluestreak approaches her but she jumps up and punches him. Optimus says, “She was playing roboto-possum,” or robot- was it ‘roboto-possum or robot possum?

S: I feel like it was roboto-opossum.

O: Ok, roboto-opossum!

S: Optimussssss!

O: What even is that. Optimus, what even is that?

S: She then proceeds to chuck throwing stars at them.

O: Cliffjumper pulls out a gun, ready to fight, but he has stopped by Optimus and, oh no, now she's got a lightsaber.

S: She's got it all, man.

O: No, really, that was the lightsaber sound effect.

S: Optimus tries to talk to her but she knocks him down and then steals his laser rifle when Bluestreak shoots her sword out of her hand.

O: She runs off and seems to disappear. Again.

S: As a ninja does.

O: As a ninja does, ok. [Laughter]

S: Back at the Decepticon base, Megatron seems very impressed with Nightbird’s performance so far.

O: Starscream is jealous and I am convinced that their goal was to have Megatron talk about Nightbird like this so he sounded like he found her attractive. It really just seems like he's trying to make Starscream jealous, though?

S: And, back at the Ark, Ratchet is fucking amazing because he gets the power back on by, uh, [clicks tongue] futzing with two wires.

O: Yep, he then informs Optimus that Nightbird stole the World Energy Chip.

S: The World Energy Chip can, apparently, tap into any power supply onEearth. It’s like, okay?

O: I have so many questions, like--why do you guys have this? Like, there's gotta be a better way to get you guys power than, oh, by giving you this thing that would be really dangerous if the Decepticons got it, but whatever.

S: I mean, if it was something that just listed all the locations of energy sources that would be dangerous enough instead, no, they've got to give them-

O: Power over them?

S: Yeah. Some very stupid, ill-thought-out thing I can't imagine Earth's governments ever agreeing to.

O: Yeah, yeah. Optimus orders Hound to track Nightbird with his infrared and they corner Nightbird in some sort of canyon and the Autobots follow after her one after another.

S: Like ducklings. And then they have to jump up a cliff. And the only one who needs help is Cliffjumper.

O: You know, for a name like, “Cliffjumper,” he sure can't jump up cliffs very well.

S: He's all about jumping off them, you know. Not- not up them.

O: Obviously. Nightbird attempts to climb up another cliff to get away from the Autobots but falls off and then has to confront them.

S: Mirage proceeds to turn invisible and steals back Optimus’ gun. And here, we have one woman outsmarting five Autobots as they all try to take her down with their special abilities or weapons.

O: An earth made lady robot no less. What I was so-so- Uh, about Ratchet and Wheeljack being a dick, earlier. She's kicking their friends’ butts.

S: Yep. Megatron's watching all of this as he tells Starscream he's definitely going to replace him with Nightbird.

O: Of course, Starscream then tries to attack Megatron in retaliation to this comment but Megs just has him tossed into an energy cage.

S: And then Starscream pterodactyl screeches and, like, it's just.

O: It's very weird moment.

S: Yeah, apparently in the script or whatever, he's supposed to actually touch the thing but he doesn't actually do that in the animation. He just screeches.

O: He just screeches.

S: He's just a dramatic jet.

O: He is a very dramatic jet. Nightbird is finally captured and Megatron mobilizes the rest of the Cons to retrieve her.

S: The Autobots and Decepticons fight. Again!

O: Megs has a new toy, another gun: An antimatter blaster, which he uses to free Nightbird from an energy cage the Autobots have trapped her in.

S: And then we cut to the Decepticon base where Starscream is still trapped in his cage.

O: Why are there so many damn cages in this episode?

S: They just love cages, man.

O: All I can think is, “kinky.”

S: Yeah. Starscream fires the gentlest missile in existence that taps the button to release himself.

O: He then flies off to show up Megatron's precious ninja.

S: Nightbird is still kicking everyone's ass but Starscream shoots her with his Null Ray and Megatron chases after him with the rest of the Cons in tow. The Autobots then proceed to return Nightbird to Dr. Fujiyama, who's delighted that she doesn't have a scratch on her.

O: How was that even possible, given everything that happened in this episode? You know she got hit at least a couple of times!

S: She's a durable lady.

O: Earth technology!

S: They say she's deprogrammed but she honestly just looks pissed as hell about being locked up forever at the end of the episode.

O: Who knows?

S: Yeah.

O: And the episode cuts with basically her being super angry and her eyes glowing menacingly. Join us next time for Changing Gears. Helpful, happy Gears? The horror!

S: Mm-hmm.

O: And I hope you're ready for Don Messick because there's a lot of Don Messick in the next  episode. So, something I wanted to talk about is in the Legend comics, apparently Nightbird actually got released and got an alt.

[It’s actually Transformers: Earth Wars where Nightbird gains an alt, not Transformers Legends, which is a mobile game ~Owls]

S: Ooooh!

O: Um, they actually released a toy of it recently. And it was looks pretty cool, so I have the link- I have the post queued up and I’ll- I'll post it when we post this episode.

S: Nice-

O: I just thought it was neat.

S: Was it a retool of one of the Arcee toys?

O: It actually wasn't Arcee, I don't think. You know what, I'll pull it up.

[There’s been two toys of Nightbird.  The Transformers Legends version is a retool of Arcee, while the Generations version is the retool of Chromia ~Owls]  

S: Oh yeah.

O: It is a- it is a retool of Chromia, actually.

S: Nice.

O: And it does look pretty neat, so-

S: It does look kick-ass.

O: Uh, if uh-

S: I wouldn't mind having one of her.

O: Yeah, I've had that thought, too. So, if you either go looking for this or you see Nightbird and think her design actually looks kind of neat, there is actually a Transformer available or a, you know, a figure available of her now.

S: And it actually looks pretty- pretty much like her. Actually, if you could pull it up again I'd like - it's like, yeah, we've got the right head, she's got-

O: Like, it's obviously not perfect. Especially, you know, being a retool of a different one, but- but- but I think it's a good version of, like oh, if she could transform kind of thing, you know.

S: It's got this- it's got the general, um, silhouette of her.

O: Yeah.

S: Except with, you know, transforming parts which she obviously didn't have.

O: Yeah, she- she didn't have any kibble.

S: Yeah but, I mean, none of the lady bots- none of the female bots have kibble.

O: A bunch of them don’t, yeah you’re right.  They've gotta look like sexy, lady robots, don't you know?

S: They gotta be, uh, obviously, visibly girls.

O: Again, I’m convinced the only reason they have them in there is because they're, like, “Oh, no!”

S: “We’ve gotta cover our asses.”

O: Pretty much!

S: Yeah.

O: Anyway, she does look cool and we will be posting- at least, posting pictures. I don't think I'll actually have a link on this but somebody had- had actually posted pictures online. I was like this looks neat!

S: Yeah, I think it's cool.

O: So, Specs, what is our fanfic for today?

S: We have two fanfiction recommendations for today, one which I will be covering and the other Owls will be covering.

O: Yep.

S: The first is “Return of the Nightbird” by Zilly. It's uh, continuity-wise, it's G1 cartoon with G1 comic elements. I don't remember if those are IDW elements or Marvel elements. It's been a while since I've had a- since I put this on the list.

O: Whoops.

S: Yeah, it's been a while. This is one of the-

O: It says G1 comic elements, so I'm gonna assume it's the G1 comic?

S: Yes, but it could be G1 Marvel comic or it could be IDW G1.

O: Oh, okay, when I put them on here I usually specify IDW or G1 comic so...

S: I did that- I've been doing that recently, but I hadn't-

O: But this is an older rec, right.

S: Yeah, this is one that I put on, like, at the very beginning- when we started this, so this has been on the list for like, six months.

O: Yeah.

S: So it's a rated T, it's Gen, there's no pairings. Characters: Marissa Faireborn, Nightbird, and Earthforce. So I'm guessing Marvel Comics, maybe?

O: Okay.

S: Marissa and the Earthforce reactivate the robot Nightbird and learn her origin is far more complicated than anyone expected. And the character for this one is obviously Nightbird.

O: I've read this one, too, and I actually- I like it. I think it works better as an explanation for all the stuff that Nightbird did in this episode, if that makes sense. Like, the whole, the Autobots can't even put a scratch on her it seems kind of ridiculous that she has the origin we're told she has in here.

S: That's cool, because I'm pretty sure I read it, I just don't remember. Let's go to yours.

O: So, um, my recommendation is, “Two Good Old Boys,” by Not_Whelmed_Yet. And the continuity is IDW, it's rated G, it's Gen, there are no pairings. The characters are Ratchet, Rung and some original alien characters

And in summary: Ratchet is taking his first vacation in a millennia and he's going to- wait? He's going to a model ship hobbyists conference? That can't be right. Ratchet gets some bonding time with the ship's most popular and only therapist on a relaxing vacation that definitely won't turn into a bit of an adventure.

And the theme for this is, uh, basically, “free space,” in that Specs forgot to make it- to add a second- second fic and I have decided that if that happens I'm going to recommend fics that I don't actually see a chance for me to recommend in any other context. Namely because most of the characters involved are characters from the IDW comics which I don't see us covering any point in the near future or maybe ever. Um, so I would like to start tossing some of these in here. Or it's, like, some pairings and stuff that don't exist in other continuities aside from the comics. It is actually very fun, though so I do recommend reading it, cuz it's just sort of this fun weird adventure romp with a, you know, Ratchet and Rung, who's just a delightful, nice guy. So enjoy!

S: Well I haven't read that so I'm going to.

O: You should read it, I think you'll like it. I want to see- say it was part of, like, Secret Solenoid or something last year, so I saw it get posted either from- from the person who it was gifted to or by the person who did it. I don't remember which one.

S: All right, let's get to that outro! And that just about wraps it up for us today! Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word) and at various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast. Such as: AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and Youtube, just to name a few. Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: And I'm Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music]