#is it obvious i struggle with this arc in canon? perhaps. but perhaps not.

[kinaesthetiqueer]

reread 23 and huh. not nearly as distressing as i thought. i just stared at that second half for a loooooong time

[agentrouka-blog]

Hey Rouka,

Maybe I’m reaching, but I’ve been thinking about how simply Sansa says to Arya in AGOT that Jon is just jealous of Joffrey because he’s a bastard. She says it so easily like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Which ok, maybe it was. Jon isn’t exactly the most subtle with his brooding 😭. But idk, its just interesting that Sansa so easily perceives something so sensitive about him when they aren’t close. It’s not just that she sees he struggles with being a bastard because it’s hard and it sucks. What’s fascinating to me is that she perceives his jealousy, insinuating she knows he wants more for himself. Like hello??? How did she just casually sum up his whole arc in book one while he just got around to admitting he wants more for himself in ADWD?

It could just be a nod to her perceptiveness, or it’s meant to show how plainly Jon wears that chip on his shoulder for even his most distant sibling to see it. But either way, that one line has interesting implications for her pre-canon relationship with Jon. Perhaps they were not so distant from one another after all? Or at the very least, despite their distance, she sees his struggles and feels for him. I’ll admit her “poor Jon” feels slightly condescending (low key delving into pity territory) but still, she does not respond to his disliking her betrothed with apathy or defensiveness/insults, but understanding. It’s the understanding of a sheltered rich girl, sure, but it’s still something. That choice feels significant even though it’s subtle.

Sansa definitely understands Jon as a "noble soul" thwarted by circumstances, because she is also the only one who realizes how disappointing the Night's Watch would have been for him:

"There was a black brother," Sansa said, "begging men for the Wall, only he was kind of old and smelly." She hadn't liked that at all. She had always imagined the Night's Watch to be men like Uncle Benjen. In the songs, they were called the black knights of the Wall. But this man had been crookbacked and hideous, and he looked as though he might have lice. If this was what the Night's Watch was truly like, she felt sorry for her bastard half brother, Jon.  (AGOT, Sansa III)

If she did not think of Jon as personally "above" such conditions why would she feel sorry for him? Clearly, she thought he would fit into an order made up of admirable Uncle Benjens, black knights of the Wall. This reality would be upsetting and disappointing to him. Even if they were not close, she is disposed to observe him and understand him. There is familiarity and goodwill.

I don't think her compassion or "pity" is condescending in this context. Jon said a Very Rude Thing about an honored guest to Arya, and instead of getting (justifiably!) angry, Sansa focuses on his motivation to explain his behavior. Which is kind of her. Sansa understands Jon must be suffering in his new life and feels bad for him. This is kind of her.

We don't need to put a qualifier on an 11-year-old's kindness to make sure we don't overpraise her. She is kind in this moment. Her compassion for Jon is kind. She has other moments where she is not kind. But her understanding of Jon is pretty solid and not hindered by being a "sheltered rich girl".

Their similar sheltered outlook enhances her understanding of him, actually. Jon is unbelievably privileged for his position and people rarely to point out how much this influences his entire path. Jon was just as naive about the Watch as Sansa, and he felt just as entitled to a "noble calling" as a ranger as Sansa thought he deserved to be in an order of "black knights". She understands his desire for "more" because the idea of "less" barely exists for them, and because both are idealists and dreamers to an extent.

They are very very similar people and GRRM sets up early how well they can work together as a team because of how easily they can understand (and appreciate) each other on a personal level. Unlike the people the world pushes at them, onto whom they feel compelled to project desirable qualities at the expense of seeing them for who they are.

[laurenttheninth]

buck wasn't intentionally sabotaging the renters, i think it was pretty obvious he was blabbering without thinking bc of his feelings (not wanting to lose eddie and chris) butting up against his urgent need to be supportive

the urgency of his need to be supportive is specifically because he is trying to put eddie and his needs first and not make it all about his own feelings, but i digress

eddie's frustration at buck's antics and buckisms is warranted -- eddie is under a lot of stress and having to go back to el paso is clearly not the best case scenario in his eyes; eddie is also canonically the repression king and combined with the ep being from buck's pov, we really don't see eddie processing/expressing his feelings about having to leave los angeles

all this said, i thought eddie jumping to framing it as "a choice between [buck] and [chris]" was unusual, because i really couldn't see how eddie was connecting dots and coming out thinking buck was trying to make eddie make that choice? eddie changed his will specifically because he trusts buck to put christopher first, and i can't see how eddie would -- even in the emotional chaos of the s8 situation -- forget/question/doubt that.

but it has now occurred to me that perhaps... perhaps eddie didn't phrase it like that because he thought that's what buck was feeling

maybe that's how EDDIE is feeling. maybe for eddie, it IS a choice between buck and chris. which isn't a choice at all because that's his kid!!!! but the idea that it's not a choice between chris and their life in los angeles... but specifically a choice between his son and his best friend...

also i think eddie said all that about "no ties in LA" because he is the repression king. sorry but going to confession once and boogiewoogie-ing in your panties one time does not undo a lifetime of issues. 911, for all its faults, does show that healing is not linear -- ex. bobby struggles with his guilt and addiction over and over, buck still struggles with self-worth and feeling secure in his place in people's lives despite his coma arc showing him how important he is to the people he loves; it isn't shocking that eddie is still in this cycle of quashing his own needs/desires in favour of what he thinks is best for those he loves. he said he has no ties in los angeles because he is telling himself that. nothing matters but getting back to his son. the choice shouldn't be hard. the decision should be easy. eddie blamed himself for "putting his desires before chris's needs" when kim showed up in dead wife cosplay at his house and starting roleplaying as the woman who he fell in love with as a teenager, who asked him for a divorce before suddenly dying right in front of him, leaving him a widower at like, what, 26/27?????

sorry i got a little steamed there. in short both eddie and buck get behind me

[leoruby-draws]

Finding a certain Someone...

One full week of drawings posted, but I'm still not done yet. Cause there's one more after this, something I've been wanting to post for over a year, but first lets go into this post.

There's a certain archetype that I've been wanting to put in the TrWh Outlaw team, and that's the 'Superman' type hero. Someone clearly strong, with powers that can be similar, and give off that certain 'super' vibe. In canon it was Bizzaro, a failed superman clone. He exists in my au, but being an adult was obviously not what I wanted. Perhaps in the future he can join the team tho. There are also a couple of current members that could sorta fit the mold but weren't quite what I was looking for. Like Grant Emerson and Gillian Wahrman for example, Gillian ended up filling a different archetype tho.

Grant esp kinda came close, esp when you factor his older self seen in Sins of Youth. His older self seemed more secure and when his emotions stabilized he could even fly, he really gave off that superman attitude. He never really got there as he actually matured in the comics, if anything his life got shitter so he's still a ways off from this mature ideal. At any rate he didn't quite fit the bill for me, sorry Grant.

Another idea was Lindsey Wah aka Aura, you can find her in Superboy and the Ravers. She had magnetic powers so she could be pretty strong, but I'm not sure if she was strong enough for what I wanted.

She's kinda a party girl but I thought that would make her fun in a way, wanting to both party and help people. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought she didn't quite have that 'spark' with the others that I wanted. In fact, I was kinda thinking she should join the Young Justice team when it forms in my au, she's already friends with Kon through the ravers.

Three random characters here, but I'm gonna focus on Sierra ? aka Matrix II. The other two I can talk about another time. Look at Sierra bothering Linda Danvers, speaking of, her story is super convoluted. Kinda had trouble following it tbh.

Sierra was part of Lex Luthor's pet team, Infinity Inc. II (crazy how you can just buy names rights like that), she proved to be a total coward, but I kinda find coward characters fun in their own way (think of like Usopp form One Piece). There could be a character arc for her, where she learns to become more braver and heroic as she grows. But in the end, I didn't go for her. She didn't have enough fire power for me, I still do like her. Maybe she could ally up with team at another point?

Captain Marvel is a superman expy himself, so having his arch nemesis's sidekick could be something that could work. This hero is Amon Tomaz aka Osiris. I thought the way Amon tried desperately to become a hero but everything was just stacked against him endeared him to me, that struggle to be what he wants to be is something that I think fits him with the Outlaws. Amon came close but I still wanted someone closer to the Superman mythos. He might join the team at a later time or ally up with them.

David's story from World's Finest is so sad, it a genuine tragedy what happens to him, though he does sorta get a happy ending. It's pretty obvious that his story and teenage look is modeled after Jason (almost blatantly so), so it should be expected that he could be what I'm looking for?

I did think about it for a hot second, but if you read World's Finest then you see he starts off in Dick's age group, making him too old for me. I suppose it doesn't matter since World's Finest is elseworld (I think?), but that's what sticks in my head. He came really close too, aw well.

Also I tried to copy Mora's style as best I could, esp tried to copy that :] type of smile he sometimes does. It's a really cute quirk of his work I noticed lol.

This one is more of a joke, having Superboy prime as a candidate but I was never gonna go for that. I don't think he would enjoy being part of my goofy au honestly.

I started getting a little desperate for what I wanted, it felt like my standards were just too high and specific. I even start to go into making oc's to fit what I wanted, like these:

This was a oc created to be a sorta legacy/sidekick for Maxima, who was a kinda a anti-hero (with the hots for Superman). I made her personality more reserved and calm to contrast with Maxima. But still not what I needed, I'd still like for her to exist in my au, maybe as an ally of sorts.

Another oc, Starsha was a character I created years ago, she was a part of fanfic 'idea' where Jason meets an alien girl to be friends with. Separate from the Training Wheels au, and I think she might've been created before all that too. The story for her goes that she was a robot from space that crash landed on earth and Jason has the difficult task of hiding her from her creator and from Bruce. It eventually goes bad and Starsha dies trying to protect Jason (in a explosion, calling forward to Jason's eventual death). She eventually comes back when Jason's older, and is kinda meant to replace Starfire in a new52 style outlaw team.

I thought maybe I could transplant her to my au, Starsha had just about everything I wanted it seemed. But having an oc for my 'superman' just didn't fell right and I though I could just keep looking in the comics. Then!!

Then I did! I found someone perfect!!

And that someone I'm gonna talk about tomorrow!

[ghostwise]

"Give me your hand. You're safe with me." mayhaps...

Aya & Wyll thoughts for this one, thank you Cas <3 cw for canon typical durge thoughts

She’d hoped—foolish thing—she’d hoped that the Underdark would bring a reprieve. That the relative isolation would soothe her addled mind. That the quiet would counter her penchant for damage.

She’d hoped, and perhaps that was the problem. Why revile herself for what she was?

Foolish thing.

But there was nothing else down here to kill. And she knew not which god to pray to, or who to beseech for a soul to snuff out.

The myconids were curious beings. She did not want to kill them; the way they fed off death was fascinating to her. Little tendrils spreading through rotting flesh, little wisps, their voices a song—

She could sing that song, and like it. She could find peace in the hivemind! Take it into her completely, fill up with spores. Aya shivered. She wondered further, how were their nervous systems constructed? Did they feel pain as flesh and blood people did? She could kill one myconid, and feel it from the point of view of a hundred. Would each dissected chunk grow into a new being? Gods, it was hard not to be envious of them. To bloat off corpses. To feed.

“Aya,” a voice called after her, making her stop in her tracks. A soul to snuff out. Had her prayers been answered?

She turned, unable to keep disappointment from coloring her voice.

“Wyll.”

“Where are you going?”

Aya stared at him for a moment, a blank stretch of feeling, until a sudden wave of vertigo overtook her. She realized then that she hadn’t been lucid; her thoughts had been constrained, and so had her senses, and she felt both expand as if she were coming out from underwater. She realized also that she and Wyll stood on a precipice, dimly lit by bioluminescent growths on the rock wall. The void opened up down beneath them. And she had no answer for him.

Aya blinked, gritting her teeth before flashing a forced smile.

“I’m going on a walk, Wyll.”

Her voice was perfect; nonchalant, even, and yet he looked unconvinced. No—concerned. Wyll looked concerned. Aya clung to the smile on her face, but Wyll wore her down, and she hated him for it, for a bright moment.

The hate steadied her, for she was good at being hateful, though she couldn’t remember how; she just knew it in her heart.

“Isn’t it obvious?” she asked, voice dipping into a warning drone.

He had come near enough to her now that she could see the piercing red of his changed eye. The delicate arc of his horns wavered—oh, he was not used to them yet—and he frowned.

“Silly to ask, when you put it that way. Come now,” Wyll returned, and he held out a hand. “I’ll walk with you.”

Aya did not take the offered hand. She stepped forward a few paces. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s terribly droll to invite yourself?”

“Generally I do not struggle with being invited anywhere,” Wyll said smoothly. “Would you indulge me? At the least, let me walk with you somewhere less… precarious.”

Aya bristled. Another wave of vertigo lashed at her. “Very well.”

“Thank you,” he sighed.

A look of genuine relief swept over his face, and he somehow found the perfect medium of being near enough to catch her if she fell, but not near enough to overwhelm her frazzled nerves. Together they walked on. The precipice narrowed, and they slowly came to a broad pane of stone.

“You know,” Wyll murmured, “I’m not afraid of heights. But a bad fall is one of those perils that’s hard to contend with, once you’re facing it directly.”

Aya looked at him, eyes narrowed.

“Unless you’ve a Scroll of Fly,” he continued, in that smooth, calm voice of his. “Or perhaps a pair of Feather Fall boots.”

Aya frowned at him. “I will not push you,” she said quietly.

“I certainly did not mean to imply such a thing,” Wyll said kindly. “I merely wondered aloud how I might keep us both safe, if we fell-”

“It is an inelegant way to die,” Aya cut in. “I would much rather skewer you with those corkscrew horns of yours.”

He fell silent, then, and Aya raised her chin. Something urged her on; worst of all, it was not the broad and inescapable wave of bloodlust that she found impossible to resist. It was simple meanness.

“Did it hurt when you grew them, Wyll? Transformation is a gift. You have been given two forms to live this life. But the last form had to die in order for this one to emerge. I think it’s beautiful.”

“It did hurt,” Wyll said, and he looked at her, unfazed. “But I wouldn’t call it beautiful. It was as many other things in this world are: cruel and unnecessary. But we are both of us adults, and so we take the cruel bits of this life; we sift out the good.”

Aya let out a soft and bitter laugh at that. “What good?”

“Knowing I did the right thing, for one. Karlach, for two,” Wyll said. “You, for another, though you’re being an arse at present.”

“Naive men like you, Wyll,” Aya said, “they litter the ages.”

“Ouch,” Wyll said with a grin. “You’ve given me much to think about, Aya, but I may be swayed yet. Shall we do the quibbling over morality and nihilism back at camp?”

Aya balked at that. She looked away with a scowl.

“You think me in need of protection.”

“I think you in need of a friend.”

The line was downright tawdry. Aya was at him in an instant; hand on his chest, her uncanny strength pushing up against the cavern wall. “And so you followed me out into the dark,” she whispered.

Wyll winced slightly. His horns had caught the brunt of the impact and he looked down at her, brow raised. For a moment he was quiet.

“You can’t kill me,” he told her then, and there was almost a sadness to it. “Mizora would smite you clean out of your boots if you earnestly tried to.”

Aya’s grip relaxed with the dumb truth of it. Wyll took the opportunity to remove her hands from the clasps of his surcoat, and pushed off the wall smoothly.

“Be assured, though,” he continued, “I would have incapacitated you by then. The Blade of Frontiers is no pushover.”

Aya looked at him, sullen. She suspected he was right on both counts; but she didn’t have to like it. She settled for wishing the ground would split open beneath them. Meanwhile, Wyll regarded her closely.

She rather felt he was seeing right through her. He was, after all, keenly vigilant of any threat that walked these lands. His intuition led him where his heroism was needed, and guided his sword with uncanny accuracy.

Where Aya had an innate urge for destruction, he seemed to have an opposite drive. And he’d kill her, she was sure, if he knew her.

“Aya,” Wyll whispered, for she had been silent for a good while. “I will leave you be. If you can promise me this: Promise me you are not in trouble, or looking to find it.”

She shut her eyes. This was foolish. She could not stand against Wyll and his Infernal patron. She did not even want to.

“But you can’t, can you?” Wyll whispered. “I see that look in your eyes. So I ask again: Where are you going? What are you thinking?”

A broken sort of sound escaped her lips. “I don’t want to.”

“Don’t want to what?”

“I... don’t want to kill the myconids,” she said, grimacing. “They probably wouldn’t even bleed pretty.”

“I think I understand,” Wyll said slowly. “Let me walk you back to camp. Don’t worry,” he added, “I’m in no danger. As I said, you couldn’t kill me if you tried. I can handle myself and I can certainly handle you. Give me your hand...”

Red protests squirmed in her mind, but more than anything, she was tired. This time when he offered his hand, she took it, took it and gripped it hard enough to hurt, but he didn’t pull away.

“You’re safe with me.”

[metvmorqhoses]

If Alina’s hatred for Aleksander felt a little too contrived and compensating then perhaps that’s exactly what it was? Her character this season came off as someone desperate to prove herself; she was steamrolling ahead with blinders on and covering her ears at anything that challenged her (her goal of tearing down the fold and tada! happily ever after). It would make sense then that whatever feelings she has for Aleksander would be deeply suppressed and instead used as fuel in her anger towards him since she isn’t someone yet who is ready to deal with the messy nuance of the world she’s in and it’s contradictions, much less the complications of her own feelings. I do think Mal is boring but he wasn’t wrong for breaking up with her since he realizes he doesn’t really know who Alina is anymore. Aleksander on the other hand does know her in a way that only a soulmate can (“I have never turned away. I never will”). This whole season he was unhinged but in that desperation was a genuine worry for her. He wanted her to understand where he was coming from because he’s walked her path, he’s known what it is to hope and want to be a hero, and the inevitable heartbreak and pain it causes. It seems like he wanted to her to skip over that painful step if he could just get through to her. Unfortunately it is something she has to go through to grow. If season 2 was her stubbornly naive self in full mode, then hopefully season 3 shows us a more mature Alina who struggles to balance power and what it means. I don’t expect her to ever fully be on Aleksander’s side but I would like to see the understanding and at time’s tenderness, she feels towards him that was missing this season. Sorry I know this is nothing new to you but I’m still processing this season and always love your thoughts! An aside, Aleksander letting Alina kill him even while deeply disagreeing with her on a political and philosophical level, and still being amazed by her light as he marvels at “blue skies” killed me. I don’t care what anyone says really does love her.

From a pure storytelling point of view, this season and specifically Alina's arc (whatever it might be and under whichever lenses we might choose to look at it) was a writing failure. There is sadly no escaping that. It was crass, nonsensical, exaggerated, dull, colourless, problematic.

Even conceding her over-the-top and baffling behaviour was indeed done on purpose, no talented writer in their right mind could have possibly thought that good protagonist material, not even for the most black-and-white, simplest children's saga - especially having for canon a far more complex and valid characterization from the literary source (I can't believe I'm typing this, but here we are).

The fact that they managed to produce the worst books-to-show adaptation I've probably ever seen out of fear of a bunch of woke American mums and teens is genuinely disturbing.

This said, there are ways a good writer could salvage this, twisting this into sense and depth even, and you listed a lot of good points in this regard.

This idiocy galore could indeed be spun as Alina's hubris and blindness, her inexperience even, backfiring at her. It could absolutely be the arc that led to the wall she had to crush into in order to listen to what Aleksander was trying to warn her about, the proverbial finger children have to put into the fire themselves before believing it burns.

I could even raise the bar a notch and state that, psychologically speaking, when someone who isn't intelligent enough to understand their own being in denial is frustrated and angry with themselves, they funnily tend to project their own self-hatred and fury upon the person they trust the most and in general hold most dear. And this, even if I'm sure it wasn't absolutely intended, strikes me as particularly true regarding their dynamic in season two: no matter what Aleksander told her, no matter how much sense it made, no matter the obvious honesty of the feelings he was showing her (he opened a lot with her this last season despite her stubborn deafness, almost as if he had wanted to make up for the previous pretences and half-truths), she did nothing but choose him as her universal scapegoat and, quite absurdly, right because he was still the person she unconsciously felt closest to.

He was still her mentor and lifeline even the moment she decided to blindly sacrifice him on the altar of her own naive self-righteousness and hypocrisy. And he let her. Even in death, he wanted to serve the purpose of teaching her a lesson, open her eyes, and I don't think that ultimately, deep down, this truth completely escaped her.

A good writer would use all this to build season three. But I've honestly lost all hope at this point.

What I really don't think could be savaged is who Alina has time and time again proved to be as a person - she is someone who is in her twenties but has the brain of a not-particularly-bright infant; she is someone with the emotional capability of a rock; she isn't capable of complex thoughts, but above all she is self-centred and ignorant even when her personal life experiences should have at the very least taught her otherwise. I didn’t like her before, but now she is honestly ruined for me as a character. Aleksander deserved much better than her. He is everything she'll never be.

[wordsandrobots]

Had a pretty bad day so I'm going to boast about something.

I didn't mention it at the time but posting Chapter 14 of Ragnarök in G Minor on Friday took it past the previous high bar for individual Wishing on Space Hardware fic-length set by The Ares Affair (72,872 words vs 69,850). And this latest story isn't even halfway done. That'll come next week, and take the total word count for the series over 550,000 words.

(I'm hoping to land at about 555,000 because who wouldn't?)

Which is nice, and a good reminder of why, exactly, it took me half a year longer than expected to get Ragnarök finished. Because that did kind of disappoint me, but looking at it like this, it makes sense. There was a *lot* to get through to tie the overarching story together and give everybody some sort of key moment. My problem with writing fic for Iron-Blooded Orphans is that I want to write about ALL of it, and every single character, so it was probably inevitable that it wouldn't conclude with anything less then a doorstop of a fic.

Chapter 14 also marked the end of the character arc I started with the first IBO fic I wrote and I want to write a brief commentary on that. I'm planning a proper 'author's note' essay when the whole series is done, but this . . . this is something more specific.

(Behind a cut because it is talking about endgame stuff for Wishing on Space Hardware, which is already a post-canon fic for Iron-Blooded Orphans, so, yeah. Take heed and beware ye spoilers.)

I can't remember when exactly I decided one of the climaxes was going to be a three-way fight between fun-house mirror versions of the Devil of Tekkadan. Like much of WoSH, it fell out of the ever-expanding churn of ideas IBO left me with. But it's an obvious thing to do: take the legacy of the anime's protagonists and fracture it against itself for the sake of drama. Because whatever else, we are talking about a group of deeply traumatised child soldiers and there remains the potential for a lot of bad things to follow the hopeful ending of the show.

Embi is all the worst parts of Tekkadan. Violent, arrogant, selfish, reckless -- he's the vessel into whom I poured all that and more, to the point of having him actively reject the better parts. Heart-sickened by the death of his brother, the bonds of comradeship fray until he can't stand the sight of his former squad-mates, much less the miraculous returnee from the dead who catalyses the events of WoSH. At the same time, he can't stay at his worst. He struggles with new connections because they threaten to pull him from his grief. He doesn't want to move on. Embi roots himself in an old dream of being like Mikazuki, in the life of a mercenary soldier. Fighting is all he knows and beyond it lies the terrifying prospect of hope and trying. He'd have much preferred to burn up over Mars. At least that would have been a safely familiar ending.

Ordsley suffers the myth of Tekkadan, transformed by people who saw what a group of Martian children 'achieved' and wanted to surpass them. Yet the curse inflicted on him -- for he is of course a werewolf, turning with the influence of the crescent moon -- is to become unwilling legatee of Mikazuki's reality: the beast and the boy, the contradictory dreams of someone trapped by a system that sees people as raw material. For the smart young man at home on the proper side of history, it's a hell of a shock to reckon with the humanity of those condemned for their rebellion. Here, finally joining the survivors on the battlefield they once called home, the pieces click, for at least a moment. There are no easy answers in a world that offers children a choice between killing and starvation, but perhaps in the middle of the fray, it is easier to understand why they call each other friend.

Then there's Shino. The lovely, blood-thirsty himbo I thought it would be interesting to pluck from his canonical fate.

I know when I decided to shatter his prosthetic. The middle of last year, after reading writing by amputees, talking about how they are depicted, how that feeds and feeds off narratives fundamentally disconnected from their lived experiences. Still, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm not trying to speak to those experiences. The canon has sci-fi prosthetics. It's detached from the real world. It's just, the ways it also problematises them . . . the way, particularly with the addition of 598 and his cybernetic eye, that dovetails with the propaganda drive from militaries to gift high-tech limb replacements to those mangled in the course of fighting . . . I don't regret pushing myself to dip my toe in those waters.

You see, I wanted to tie together the strands of Shino's trauma. His instinctive reach for quid pro quo in his relationship with Yamagi, finally answered with the truth of everything positive he left behind on his first 'death'. His great bête noire, that failure of his last-ditch effort to save Tekkadan, coming full-circle as he's given another chance, another challenge, met this time with greater experience and maturity, and the knowledge of when not to fight. Third-best no longer, bolstered by all those who taught him what it takes to fly.

And as he gets to prove his mastery -- in ways beyond Embi's suicidal commitment and Ordsley's engineered supremacy -- he also reckons once more with that pernicious belief he is only fit to fight.

There isn't an answer, you know. Those doubts about ourselves, those demons, don't go away even when we let them go. We just learn to carry on regardless. To accept the possibility that we can live anyway, and to stop throwing the best parts of ourselves under the bus in our rush to distance ourselves from the worst.

So the arm is smashed to bits, the fate of the mobile suit pilot, the soldier, the body spent in violence. But Shino finally sees his younger self in a positive light and does what nobody else was able to for Embi: tell him it's OK to leave. Whatever it takes to be happy, even if that's a million miles away. He treats Ordsley as Ordsley, not Mika 2.0, reinforcing Ordsley's newfound balance. Above all, throughout everything, he is not alone. This final fight is spent with Eugene right at Shino's side, backing him up, trusting him. The Ryusei-Go is Tekkadan as a community, the part that truly never wilted. Because the reason Shino can have this moment of catharsis is that he is loved. So many people, building him up, giving him a future.

Everything he would do for them, unhesitatingly, and has, more times than he will ever realise.

I don't know if it's character development, exactly. Honestly, I don't know if the chapter actually encapsulates these things the way I wanted it to. I've read it too many times to see it straight any more and, even with a lovely band of readers I am privileged to have commenting, I'm doubting myself a lot these days. I don't sit well on my laurels, with the things I've completed, the word counts and the tick-marks. I worry it's still not enough. Put a fair of myself in Shino, there.

But I think it's good. I think it came out the way I wanted it to. I think it's the right thing for the story, to take a giant mecha battle, the tragic, inevitable conflict, and flip it around into an act of firefighting. I think I should be proud I got here, even if I never expected to when I first sat down at my keyboard to explain why the hot bisexual anime boy was still alive, actually.

So I'm make a note, to myself, that I did. That I should be proud. That I am, of me, for doing that.

And if you're reading this and you're going to be reading the rest of the story -- I'll just say, Shino himself is going to tell you why his vivid pink robot arm needed to be demolished by a giant sword. There'll be another, eventually (they do have a cyberneticist on speed-dial), but for now, well. You'll see.

[daniclaytcn]

As a Buck Stan who fully adores Eddie as his own character, I get annoyed by how the whole “exhausting” thing gets played out in fandom. I think it has potential to be interesting since I think it draws on one of Buck’s insecurities, but I rarely see it explored in a fun way. Generally it’s used as a device to make Eddie grovel, which I hate. On the same note, I’m always clicking on lawsuit arc stories hoping one will actually delve into the complexities of it rather than demand everyone beg for Buck’s forgiveness. I want a good “a lot of mistakes were made, and people had strong reactions based on their own ongoing struggles but no one here is a bad person” lawsuit story. Most importantly, a lawsuit story in which Hen, Chimney, and Maddie actually respond the way they did in canon which was either absent (I can’t remember much Maddie interaction with the lawsuit. She was going through her own stuff) or pretty supportive and understanding, if perhaps disapproving of the choice to sue, depending on the story, rather than morphing into unrecognizable bullies. I have strong feelings about this lol sorry

honestly, i'm not surprised you can't find any of the kind of nuanced fics you're looking for (or very few of them, at the very least), because people are just waaay too obsessed with making buck into this oppressed victim who never did anything wrong and is just an uwu baby being bullied by the others. it's absolutely wild that they think buck did absolutely nothing wrong by dragging the rest of the 118 into his conflict with bobby, unnecessarily dredging up their personal trauma in front of an audience, and then not even having the decency to apologize until eddie called him out on it. if you ask them, hen, chim and eddie are the obvious villains for being understandably upset with him (which is even more ridiculous when you remember how quick hen and chim were to let it go when they had every reason to be angry). lol. i'm just muting so many authors whenever i go into the ao3 tag xD

[the-fallen-blue]

If one of your mutuals wrote a Wonder Woman story, what would you - theoretically - be most worried about them getting Wrong

I think I'd trust most of my mutuals not to get her capital-W Wrong in any important way. Like, no one who still wants to hear from me after thirty chapters of World of Wondy is going to Make Dudes Too Important or write a Mean Straw Feminist or have her just be totally incompetent, which are the things I, from experience, tend to worry the most about from her actual fucking canon over the years.

However, if one is actually seeking guidance, since this seems like as good an excuse as any, I do have like, a five-point basic guideline for Essentials To A Good Wondy Story that I put together as part of that essay series I never actually did about how I would do a Wonder Woman TV show:

Remember the Truth - Diana's ability to see things as they genuinely are, us and herself and the world, and that being the root of her power and her compassion, is such an incredible hook, such a great way to set her character apart from every other flying brick, so perfectly in line with her themes of equality and justice and inspiration. Remember that she sees things from that unique perspective and that that is her most powerful ability, and always look to it as your first and most useful tool when you're deciding what to do with the rest of this.

Leave no Heart Untouched - Diana is not here to save us, she's here to inspire us. Even if the main conflict is resolved by punching, there should at least be some minor side characters who change their lives for the better in some small way because of her influence. A redeemed thug, a businessman who goes nonprofit, even something as small as a kid treating his sister better, it doesn't always have to be Ares or Circe, but it should always be there.

Look Beyond Capes and Tights - corollary to #2, we mostly watch her do superhero stuff in comics and relationship stuff in fanfic, but her actual in-universe job is like 10% that, 90% the dedicated struggle for social justice. Rucka was very good at this and serves as a solid model - any full arc in any medium should have at least one brief scene of her pressuring politicians to put through a bill or note from an aide that adolescent drug use in Massachusetts is down 15% thanks to Myndi Meyer clubs or wtfever, because that is always the biggest part of her life.

Hold on to Wonder - Diana is not angsty. In fact, an obvious criticism of Marston is that his Wondy was perhaps having too much fun. Our girl is not naive, but she is very much an idealist and an optimist, a finder of silver linings, someone with a sharp sense of humor, who finds deep joy in her mission and the people she loves. I genuinely think that Berserker Sword Warrior Diana who actually smiles is more faithful (and certainly more fun to read) than Peaceful Diplomat Diana who's just miserable and fatalistic 24/7. "Being a good person sucks" is a terrible message.

Do Epic Shit - doesn't have to be plot-relevant, but this is a superhero here, you wanna have her punching a spaceship or singlehandedly hauling an oil tanker away from a reef or walking unimpressed out from under a collapsing building just for context or what's the point?

[miraculouscontent]

*rubs hands together*

The first thing to talk about with this episode is the pacing, and I think this might contribute to why people think it’s the best/least bad of Season 4 (personally, I’d rather watch “Furious Fu” but that’s just me; also, this isn’t the only contributing factor as to why I think people might feel this way, but I’ll get there later).

The episode has a very serious pacing issue, particularly with its more intense scenes. There’s only one minute of time dedicated to Ladybug landing on her bed, de-transforming, and her snapping at her friends plus them leaving. More time was spent on Chat Noir and Ladybug in the movie theater and Ladybug storming out.

I particularly remember watching the episode and getting eighteen minutes in, at which point I had the realization of, “It feels like nothing’s happened?”

This episode is supposed to be a big gut punch, but the season has been going by at the speed of sound, like they’re trying desperately to play all their cards at once (Lukanette break-up, Adrimi break-up, then Alya is told Marinette’s secret identity). Instead of letting things build and play out for a while in the interest of suspense, the show just throws whatever will get a big reaction out of the fandom (whether positive or negative) and it doesn’t care how shoddily put together everything is. The first two episodes feel like hastily put together drafts, and while this one is technically more put together, it still feels like a draft.

Let’s just start with Chat Noir, who feels completely out of place in the episode. Not only does he imply that he intentionally calls Ladybug “Bugaboo” (which she has told him to stop doing) in order to get a reaction out of her, but when Ladybug insists that she doesn’t want to talk, he tricks her into thinking that he has a good location to do so (and my heart breaks a little at how readily she trusts him) only to then take her to a romantic movie, then shush her when she calls him out for it because she “said she didn’t want to talk.”

Gee, and people wonder why she didn’t tell him her secret (even outside of “Chat Blanc” existing)?

And... look, I know it’s a joke, but I do not find it funny. The “joke” is basically that Chat Noir is taking advantage of the situation to flirt with Ladybug, and though I find it at least mildly cathartic that Ladybug is unaffected by all the people staring at them while Chat Noir is embarrassed, this episode is coming right after the one where Kagami broke up with Adrien, and here Chat Noir is getting his flirt game on. I already talked about all my problems with “Lies” so I won’t do it again, but I’ll just say that it’s not a mystery why Ladybug doesn’t want to talk to him and would rather avoid her problems.

(Not to mention that Ladybug knows that Chat Noir likes her, so talking about her romantic problems with him is awkward to say the least and would come off as insensitive.)

Honestly, at this point I feel like they must be building to something with Chat, like Ladybug finally going off of him with no mercy and that forces him to give up/fall out of love for her because reverse love square, but if that’s what they intend to go for, then that means Marinette is going to fall for this guy who’s repeatedly disrespected her feelings for multiple seasons, almost abandoned her and let Paris drown because she wouldn’t tell him a secret that wasn’t hers to tell, and just generally all the other things he did????

Ugh, I don’t wanna think about it. Let’s just move on.

Talking about Ladybug and her rant next, it basically summarizes the whole show in a nutshell, but simultaneously casts a shadow of sorts over “Truth” for people who maybe missed the episode entirely (which is also sort of the show in a nutshell). I mean, Ladybug confirming to the audience that she was genuinely in love and happy with Luka (you can’t watch how depressed she was over the break-up and not think that) was great, but Ladybug’s dialog implies that Luka “hated secrets” and that’s why they broke up, when Luka was more just... hurt that she couldn’t be honest with him, and he didn’t actively hate secrets. Marinette broke up with him because she felt like she had to; because she had to keep ditching and lie to him.

In addition, what she says also hints to the audience that they’ve both held and kissed each other, which not only indicates cowardice on the part of the staff (”yeah this happened but--um--off-screen; we’d still like credit tho plz”), but may perhaps go back to the theory I had about how Adrimi and Lukanette were supposed to last longer in Season 4 but their arcs got cut (based on the Adrimi kiss having supposed to have gone off). This could mean that Ladybug’s statement was originally accurate to canon but the scenes got cut and the scriptwriters just awkwardly left it in, which is made more awkward by the cinema scene in “Truth” that felt like Luka and Marinette were kissing for the first time (again, alluding to the whole, “this entire season has been a draft” thing).

Also, if you think about what that actually means - that Luka and Marinette did have successful dates and kisses but they were off-screen - then all it adds up to is that showing Marinette happy and comfortable was something that the series didn’t deem as “interesting/fun enough” to show, because Marinette being happy isn’t something they want to see; only watching her be miserable, which is exactly what Ladybug says, along with how everything was “almost too simple, too easy,” because Marinette isn’t allowed to have nice things without being jammed through the wringer first.

And... sure, let’s say that Chat Noir thought the movie was genuinely a good idea; let’s assume that it could be a joke, him wanting to flirt, and him believing that it’d make her feel better somehow.

If that’s the case, then where’s the apology when it fails miserably? Ladybug goes from her semi-anxious state at the start of the episode (a little scatterbrained but ultimately just looking for a distraction), to outright enraged by the movie, and then to this upon leaving the cinema.

She just got her heart broken from being forced to break up with a boy she genuinely wanted to be with and there’s not a single, “Okay, maybe coming here was a bad idea, I’m sorry,” (which could’ve been seen as another joke with the audience like “lol no duh Chat Noir” so there’s no excuse not to have it) or, “My bad, that was insensitive of me. I really thought this would’ve helped but I wasn’t thinking about what you would’ve wanted.”

No. The only people Chat apologizes to are the other people at the theater because he’s embarrassed by Ladybug’s reactions, yet he himself feels no remorse for taking her there and has the gall to go on now about how he’s “there for her if she wants to talk.”

Again, it’s no wonder Ladybug doesn’t want to open up to him.

And I’m sorry, I just don’t buy that Marinette suddenly has all this free time. It’s one thing for her to have a little more time now that she’s broken up with her boyfriend (likely avoiding spending time with him altogether now), but “Truth” went out of its way to talk about all of the emergencies she had to deal with and how she doesn’t have any spare time. which is causing her to become forgetful and lose track of certain events (patrols with Chat, dates with Luka, etcetera), yet Marinette spends most of “Gang of Secrets” simply sulking on her bed. It’s so jarring to go from “Truth” where she was doing “too much” (which I called them out on for not describing what the “too much” she was doing was) and now “Gang of Secrets” where she’s not doing anything.

It’s almost like they invented that plot point to break Lukanette up and it served no purpose outside of it.

Furthermore, the scenes of her finally talking to Tikki and then deciding to live as Ladybug does nothing outside of making the plot more predictable, the latter because of the “Alya almost sees Ladybug” moment (an obvious indicator that Marinette is losing control and is struggling to maintain her secret identity due to her emotionally breaking down) and the former because of Tikki herself and what she doesn’t say.

Because, really, think about what actually goes on in the scene. Marinette (eyes rimmed red and filled with unshed tears, as she is for a good chunk of the episode) is venting to Tikki about - yes - her love life, but also that she has to lie to everyone in order to keep her identity a secret. The fact that Tikki focuses solely on the note of Marinette’s love life and not say a word about the identity/lying issue or even consider telling Marinette, “hey, this is clearly too much for you, you should tell someone, I think the benefits outweigh the risks right now,” really proves that the episode tried to avoid the topic altogether to try and make the ending more shocking (which ironically made it more predictable).

So yeah, not only does Tikki’s dialog with Marinette provide nothing except for a line about how she can’t help Marinette with love issues due to kwami not falling in love (alright, I guess aros can’t give good love advice then or have any input whatsoever), but Marinette’s line about lying to everyone being why she can’t pursue Adrien nor Luka is repeated in the very last scene of the episode. The only reason that scene and the scene after exist is because the writers needed Marinette to be emotionally devastated enough to leave for her balcony as Ladybug for the almost-reveal to Alya and so Rose would get close enough to the dollhouse to have an almost-reveal with the Miracle Box, making the scene feel further contrived because the emotional punch of Marinette wanting to live as Ladybug lasts for barely any time at all.

And it could’ve served a purpose, like if Ladybug had genuinely left and Alya finds her goggles and towel, recognizing them from a news story about how Ladybug had gone to the swimming pool after losing her temper at the cinema, which could’ve led to Shadow Moth making the girls believe that Ladybug was no longer heroic and had kidnapped Marinette, or... heck, Ladybug coming back inside would’ve been so much less jarring if she came back because she heard the girls’ voices talking about the dollhouse and had to hurry (but of course, then they’d have to point out the ridiculousness of Ladybug not hearing Alya calling her and the girls not hearing Ladybug literally shouting for Shadow Moth to come fight her, even though the kwami heard the girls calling for Marinette from the balcony).

But instead, the entire scene feels off and unnatural, forcing every part of it in order to get to where Marinette has to snap at the girls to make them leave.

(Oh, by the way, just a little detail to add to the annoyance: they bothered putting Tom and Sabine in the episode when the girls are leaving, clearly saddened by something that happened, and neither parent even bothers to go and check on Marinette to see if she’s upset or just to see what might’ve happened. They’re such a “blink-and-you’ll-miss it” moment in the episode and it’s not like I’m surprised because they’ve done this multiple times by now but really?)

As for the girls themselves... oof, where do I even begin?

Alright, first off is the annoyance that they assume Marinette’s problems relate only to lovesickness. Marinette has been an anxiety-prone mess throughout the entire series, and suddenly now the girls care about Marinette’s love problems on an emotional level rather than “we’ll meddle sometimes unless we don’t feel like it and be wholly inconsistent on how much we push for it.”? It’s not that I don’t see how they came to the conclusion (hearing that Luka and Marinette broke up and now seeing Marinette is depressed, it checks out), but considering they bothered noting that Marinette hadn’t told them anything, one would think they’d come to the conclusion of, “okay, we haven’t talked to her, we have no idea of what’s going on, maybe we don’t know her as well as we thought then and shouldn’t make guesses.”

Secondly is the “eternal friendship bracelet,” which comes off as a copy of the “Secrets” game from “Syren” extremely manipulative. Mylene goes on to explain that one is supposed to give a secret to the pearl “mentally,” yet when the girls actually show up to see Marinette, they expect to be told the secret directly. I’ve already talked at length about peer pressure and the mental stress Marinette goes through when they mock her and/or meddle for her, but this idea of, “well we all used this friendship bracelet after we mutually agreed to it so now it’s your turn because we said so!” just comes off really bad. I know the episode is going for this idea that their hearts are in the right place, but they’re really not. It feels like they’re the ones in denial and are trying to compensate by forcing Marinette to prove that they’re friends, unable to handle the idea that they might not be as close to her as they thought.

Thirdly, the show acts as if the girl squad are her only friends when we know that’s not true because we’ve seen episodes like “Befana” (the guys in the class), “Reverser” (Marc), “Ikari Gozen” (Kagami), and “Silencer” (Ivan) that all established Marinette having more friends than just them, but for the sake of “drama” and the depressing line of, “at least I don’t have any more friends to lie to,” the episode just pretends like Marinette’s friends are limited to Luka (who she had to break up with) and the girl squad (who she forced to leave and refuse the friendship of).

Fourthly is the actual set-up and the sheer grossness of it all. The girls call Marinette and leave a message about how they much they love her and how she can talk to them “where and when” she wants, and then - immediately afterwards - decide that they’re going to go straight to Marinette’s house completely unannounced, go into her room completely unannounced (not even knocking, by the way), and when Marinette begs them to leave, Alya basically tells her that she’s overreacting. When Marinette demands that they leave, Alya refuses and makes demands right back that they won’t leave until she tells them what’s wrong.

So much for “where and when” she wanted, right? It’s already one thing for the girls to invade Marinette’s privacy and demand/guilt-trip answers out of her, but it’s another thing to give the illusion of respecting her feelings and personal space only to actively plan to go back on it. I can’t tell if it’s a bad draft that they didn’t catch in quality check (you know, the quality check that they definitely don’t have) or just an intentional way to make them seem more sympathetic so Marinette looks worse for driving them out, but either way, it’s awful and I hate it. I would’ve rather had them be all in on invading Marinette’s privacy and learn a lesson in the end than outright contradict themselves.

There are also little nitpicks I could make (like Juleka’s constant mumbling despite Luka’s crush on Marinette playing a role in the episode, Horrificator getting sidelined due to being mute, and the girls’ akumatization ultimately being for spectacle and nothing else, serving no purpose to the plot and being furthered by the fact that Timebreaker goes after Marinette despite it being a bad idea and Reflekta’s power clearly not lining up with any sort of plan), but the real issue issue here comes down to the fact that these are Marinette’s so-called “friends” and the episode refuses to address their actual issues.

Alix, who is known for making rude comments at Marinette (”Gigantitan,” “Chat Blanc,” “Miraculous New York”) and then gives mixed messages by going along with meddling anyway.

Mylene, who is the closest thing to a background character in the girl squad but nevertheless finds her way into being definite voice against Marinette in “Chameleon.”

Juleka, who blamed Marinette for things she didn’t do in “Reflekdoll” and got huffy with her until Marinette apologized for said things.

Rose, who outright screamed at Marinette in “Chat Blanc” over a freaking stuffed animal, which pressured Marinette enough that she snuck into Adrien’s room to deliver her gift which nearly led to the end of the world.

And, of course, Alya; freaking Alya. I don’t even have to go into every single thing she’s ever done because I have a history of giving her absolutely no mercy.

...But let’s go through some anyway because I want to.

“Copycat” - Alya gives Marinette a script and tells her to memorize it, then immediately pushes the “call” button when Marinette hesitates after Marinette had just told Alya that she’s awful at improv.

“Darkblade” - Alya takes a jab at Marinette when Marinette says that she’s too busy to be class representative, implying that Alya thinks that Marinette does absolutely nothing with her time.

“Gamer” - Alya is busy recording the gaming competition when she and Marinette were supposed to be researching for a term paper. Alya then scolds Marinette for wanting to use the competition to get close to Adrien only to do a 180 and put up a fight about it when Marinette decides to quit.

“Animan” and how “The Puppeteer 2″ follows up on it - oh, I’m not going to touch that particular point right now, but keep those in the back of your mind, because I am going to absolutely go off later

“Simon Says” - Similarly to Marinette’s parents, Alya gives zero damns about whatever might be going on in Marinette’s life that's causing her to miss classes.

"Despair Bear” - Alya laughs at Marinette being forced to kiss Chloe’s cheek and then outright compares Marinette to Chloe after knocking Chloe multiple times during the episode (sure, just compare your “best friend” to her multi-year bully, how "hilarious” of you).

“Gigantitan” - Alya has no qualms about mocking Marinette’s over her failures, even if it embarrasses her and she’s been through enough already.

“Frozer” - Alya tries to find ways for Marinette to prevent herself from third-wheeling for Adrien, but when Marinette tries to show character growth by wanting to go, Alya gets into a shouting match with the other girls over how Marinette has “liked Adrien forever and isn’t going to give up now”.

“Catalyst” - Alya claims that Marinette is only salty over Lila out of jealousy when “Frozer” exists and literally is the prime evidence of Adrien liking another girl and Marinette telling Alya outright and very genuinely that she’s not jealous.

“Chameleon” - Alya doesn’t care about her best friend sitting in the back by herself while Alya herself get to sit next to her boyfriend and everyone else in general gets to sit where they want (Alya even acting confused at the mere suggestion that she’d tried to engineer things to let Marinette sit next to Adrien), then not only believes Lila over Marinette but contradicts herself twice (asking Marinette for proof when she has none herself, then claiming that she wouldn’t let her best friend sit by herself).

“Christmaster” - Alya leaves Marinette to babysit so she and Nino can go out on a date.

“Desperada” - Alya suddenly is for Lukanette for literally one episode and doesn’t know how/doesn’t even try to cover for Marinette’s Adrien blindness despite mocking her for multiple seasons over it.

“Reflekdoll” - Alya invites Adrien to something that’s crucial for Marinette to focus on after Marinette has already told her not to and continues meddling to the point where it gets Juleka akumatized (she also doesn’t get punished for it and the blame gets thrown onto Marinette).

“The Puppeteer 2″ - Alya pushes her luck with Nathalie to try and get Marinette to come with her, Nino, Adrien, and Manon to the museum, then traps Marinette in a room with Adrien to force her to spent alone time with him, even abandoning and forgetting about the child that she offered to watch for Marinette so she and her boyfriend can go off alone.

“Miraculous New York” - Alya is told directly by Marinette that she needs help seeing Adrien as a friend, which leads Alya to do the exact opposite throughout the entire special, at one point shouting at Marinette and pressuring her to chase after a car, in the rain, while there’s a supervillain rampaging through Paris, and all of this right after the scheme that Alya had set up caused both Marinette and Adrien to go missing.

And just saying, as Marinette’s supposed “best friend,” Alya sure doesn’t know how to handle her. It was acceptable back in “The Bubbler” when she asked Marinette about signing the gift too late and the same goes for “Dark Cupid,” but by the time we get to late Season 2/3 and Alya refuses to learn Marinette’s weak spots (unless it’s to mock her) and adjust accordingly (like if she’d already made sure the gift was signed in “Chat Blanc,” which would’ve prevented Adrien seeing Ladybug at all due to the time difference), it starts getting infuriating.

A best friend is supposed to cover for their friend’s weaknesses. Alya doesn’t do that; she meddles and often drives Marinette’s anxiety even further up a wall with absolutely no consideration for Marinette’s feelings (”Dark Cupid,” “The Puppeteer 2,” “Reflekdoll,” “Miraculous New York”).

And here, she and the other girls are rewarded for it. Luka actively resisted his akumatization whereas the girls gave in immediately, yet Marinette still opens up to them in the end, likely because they had pressured her and made her feel bad for the secrets she was keeping while Luka was willing to actually wait for her to be ready to talk to him. I can’t put into words how frustrating it is watching these girls trample all over Marinette’s feelings, not have their worst actions called out, and then jump cut post-deakumatization to Marinette telling them exactly what they wanted to know about her love life.

You know what this entire episode is really missing, outside of a coherent plot, properly-paced development, and a basic understanding of rewarding a character for things they’ve held firmly to?

It’s missing the apology. Chat Noir apologizes to a bunch of moviegoers and Rose apologizes for the broken dollhouse, but no one apologizes to Marinette for how they treated her, especially not the “friends” who got rewarded in the end.

“Sorry, we shouldn’t have told you that we’d respect your feelings and then showed up unannounced to make you talk about them.”

“We’re sorry we came into your room and invaded your privacy. You were right to be mad at us.”

“Oh my gosh, Marinette, we got akumatized and we’re so sorry for literally all five of us going after you and probably scaring the living daylights out of you.”

And as if that wasn’t enough, guess what else this is missing? It’s kind of important and brought up directly in the episode, yet the episode simultaneously goes out of its way not to bring it up again.

It’s the reason why Marinette didn’t tell the girls about her relationship with Luka. It’s not there - it’s missing - and the girls never try to pursue the subject. They talk about how Marinette didn’t tell them but don’t think for a second that maybe it’s them who have failed as friends. Instead, they don’t guess anything about why Marinette wouldn’t tell them (which is already strange considering how much they already assume about her) and jump straight to, “well clearly we just need to push for her to talk to us.”

Gonna just go out on a limb here and say that maybe - just maybe - Marinette didn’t tell them because they are habitually pushy in everything they do.

Because they would’ve teased her relentlessly about, “ohhhh you’ve got eyes for Luka? what about Aaaaaadrien~? aren’t you sooo tooorn between both of these cute guys?”

Because they would’ve meddled to force her and Luka together and gotten on her case when/if she ever had to bail on him.

Because their intrusion on her feelings for Adrien had caused her nothing but problems and she just wanted to be with Luka in peace without them forcing their way into things.

Because--hey, wild thought--maybe they’re not really friends???

But the episode completely avoids it, because that would’ve meant addressing it; it would’ve meant acknowledging that they messed up, which - fun fact - they actually don’t do in the episode.

They invaded Marinette’s privacy, insisted that she tell them how she feels (not about them of course because that would imply that they felt like they screwed up), and in the end it’s Marinette who gives them exactly what they asked of her, and the closest thing we get to acknowledging anything is Alix telling her/joking with her that they’ll help her confess to whoever she likes as soon as she tells them she’s ready.

That’s not an apology. That’s not an acknowledgment of wrongdoing. Even when the five of them are about to get akumatized, it’s not a circle of them saying, “here’s how I screwed up, I could’ve done better but I didn’t and I lost Marinette because of it.”

No. It’s just them talking about how sad the situation is. Mylene has the closest thing to remorse in saying, “I hoped it would work,” but where does it go? A grand total of nowhere, especially because Marinette still takes the bracelet in the end instead of the girls mutually deciding, “okay, maybe the bracelet was a bad idea; how about we all agree on making something together instead, no requirements attached?”

And then the episode has the gall to act as if Alya has gone through character growth when all they did was put Alya through the same thing that Chloe did. I’ll explain that last bit momentarily, but first let’s talk about the whole “growth” thing.

Because there’s no apology or acknowledgement of wrongdoing, all Alya does when she’s finally alone with Marinette is do a 180 from where she was at the start of the episode, going from, “friends have to tell each other everything,” to, “hey, if you don’t want to tell me, then that’s your right.”

The crucial part that’s supposed to go in the middle is missing. Instead of acknowledging her failures, Alya just cuts straight to “””being a better friend,”““ but storytelling doesn’t work that way.

It literally would have taken zero effort to fit an acknowledgement into that scene. “You don’t have to tell me everything, I get that now. All my meddling’s done is hurt you and I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t trust me.”

In a world where Marinette has to apologize for everything, has to learn lessons and suffer because the narrative says so, I will not accept anything less from other characters who are trying to develop and improve. That’s not fair to Marinette, nor has it ever been.

Instead of properly developing Alya, the show does whatever it can to get its audience to root for her as Marinette’s “best friend” (ugh) without having to put in the effort of admitting that Alya hasn’t been Marinette’s “best” friend.

Remember when I brought up Chloe? Yeah, “Malediktator” did a similar thing, showing Chloe doing something awful, then being sad (while not actually acknowledging the thing she did wrong), and in the end she was rewarded with a miraculous prematurely.

One show of character from Chloe and Marinette gave her a miraculous. One show of character from Alya and Marinette told her that she was Ladybug.

(Also, for the record, I think Chloe is far worse than Alya character-wise and I’m not comparing their characters; this is just the simplest comparison I can draw here from a narrative standpoint.)

“Miraculer” is another apt comparison, perhaps even more so. Chloe got Hawk Moth in her head after an akuma landed in her photo of her and Ladybug, but Chloe resisted and fought back, ultimately forcing the akuma out of her and freeing herself from Hawk Moth’s control.

But it wasn’t to develop her character; no, it was to convince the audience of Chloe and Sabrina’s friendship so they’d feel something during Sabrina’s happy flashbacks, then lay the foundation of tricking viewers into believing that Chloe might not go to Hawk Moth’s side.

At the end of the day, it was doing something that’s “never been done before” in order for the character to earn brownie points for something that the writers can just have them do because willpower is an easy thing to just write in. “Gang of Secrets” does the exact same thing when Lady Wifi breaks free from Shadow Moth, with Ladybug even hammering it home by talking about how no one’s ever done it before.

And the pacing is - again - awful. Not only is Ladybug banking on this working when she herself says that it’s never been done, but the conversation between her and Lady Wifi where Ladybug tries to convince her doesn’t even take a minute.

It also has nothing to do with Marinette herself; Ladybug relies on Alya’s adoration/friendship with her as Ladybug (you know, after Alya took a photo of LadyNoir kissing and posted it online without Ladybug’s consent, betrayed her by putting information on the LadyBlog that Hawk Moth was able to take advantage of, and is the only hero outside of Chloe to resist returning a miraculous) in order to break from Hawk Moth’s control, because talking about Marinette with Lady Wifi didn’t even work.

(Ladybug also uses her yoyo as a portal to the Miracle Box when this has never been pre-established to be a thing despite Ladybug acting as if she knew it was; further proof that this episode was rushed.)

And of course talking about Marinette didn’t work, because that would’ve meant convincing Alya that her reason for getting akumatized was “wrong” and the episode didn’t want to do that. It didn’t want someone else actually learning something and feeling bad; surely, this is just Alya being manipulated by Shadow Moth and having the power to break free because Ladybug “needs Rena Rouge” and not because Lady Wifi and her friends are chasing after their supposed best friend and that’s--you know--wrong???

Rena Rouge’s reappearance is also yet another thing the episode refuses to address because it avoids the topic of “but my identity--”. At least “Heart Hunter” had the tact to have Kagami question why Ladybug was giving her the dragon again, but “Gang of Secrets” treads as lightly as possible on any discussion of identities outside of Marinette saying that she can’t, as if it were Marinette who made the choice of concealing her identity and not the basic idea of heroing that has been stressed over and over for the whole show.

Even Plagg of all kwami stated back in “Origins” that no one is supposed to know about secret identities, a rule that continues becoming flaky and muddled with each passing season, almost like they kept attempting to retcon and make the audience dulled to the idea so that the reveal in “Gang of Secrets” would be more acceptable.

But now, with the way they did it and how they don’t even have Tikki comment on the matter, it once again has it look like they’re making it - say it with me, everyone - Marinette’s fault.

Alya says that Marinette has a choice in telling her secret, Marinette insists that she doesn’t and goes on and on about how it’ll change everything, and then just... tells Alya her secret in the end.

And remember all the way back in Season 2? “Sapotis”?

Alya: What were you saying about her secret identity?

Marinette: Ladybug needs it to protect her family and friends. Otherwise the villains could use them to get to her.

Alya: Well, if I knew who Ladybug really was, I'd keep it a secret. I would even help her! Like say, if you were Ladybug, I'd cover for you — when you needed to transform in school, go fight the "baddies", you know?

Marinette: Oh yeah? Well, if I was Ladybug I wouldn't even tell you, to protect you from the "baddies", you know?

Alya: You serious? If I was Ladybug, I'd totally tell you! Because I tell my best friend everything.

And now here we are in “Gang of Secrets,” as if the narrative is saying, “See, Marinette? Alya was right all along, you were just being ridiculous and making yourself suffer for no reason!”

Yet Marinette had a right to keep her secrets. When Alya and Nino learned each other’s identities, Alya took a hit for Nino in “Catalyst” and both of them fell to Scarlet Moth’s akumas. Chloe was a mess and a half because of Hawk Moth knowing her identity. Fu had told Marinette that her miraculous would get taken if she and Chat Noir learned each other’s identities.

The only ones who received no consequences due to someone knowing their identity were Pegase (who Chat Noir and Markov knew), Ryuko (who Chat Noir, Ikari Gozen, and Hawk Moth knew), and Viperion (who Adrien knew). “Chat Blanc” also exists where Marinette got the impression that people discovering her identity would be a disaster, and even all the way back in “Lady Wifi” insisted that not telling anyone her identity was “listening to her head and not her heart,” and the narrative has relentlessly humiliated her for going with her heart, so yeah, probably for the best.

I hate that the episode avoids talking about anything identity-related outside of what comes out of Marinette’s mouth to make it appear like it was her choice all along. I hate that they had Tikki fixate on Marinette’s love problems instead of having her actually support Marinette and admit that Marinette should tell someone before she has a mental breakdown. I hate that the episode inserts Rena Rouge into the plot as if to brush all identity issues away so as to make Marinette’s identity reveal seem less jarring.

Now, of course I’m glad Marinette told someone. Of course I want her to get love and support from someone. Of course I think the benefits outweigh the risks, or I wouldn’t have written multiple fix-its where her identity gets revealed in some way or someone already knows.

But I didn’t want it to be Alya, because I knew how they’d do it. I knew they’d do it wrong and I knew that they wouldn’t have the courage to address Alya’s issues properly.

Those familiar with my blog will know that I’d been taking negative predictions for future seasons for a while and adding them to cards whenever they were proven right. Does anyone remember the Season 4 predictions that were proven correct for “Gang of Secrets,” specifically these ones?

- “Alya will suddenly be portrayed as a good/worthy friend to Marinette in/if there's an episode where Marinette tells her that she's Ladybug”

- “Alya resisting Shadow Moth/fighting back against him will be used to excuse telling Alya Marinette's secret identity“

- “Alya will know that Marinette is Ladybug first because "BFFs" despite being one of the worst candidates for it“

- “The secret that broke Lukanette up will be resolved in episode 3 when Marinette tells Alya“

Each and every one of those were mine, because I knew that whether Season 4 had a proper chronological order or not, the writers would not have the guts to develop Alya first and then have Marinette tell her in a future episode after Alya has properly earned it.

I knew that they wouldn’t take time to develop Alya. I knew that they would have Alya resist Shadow Moth to make Alya look “worthy” of the secret. I knew that Alya would swoop in during the last minute and a half of an episode, insisting that Marinette “didn’t have to tell her anything” when Alya had been pushy and insistent for the entire rest of the episode and the whole series in general, and would ultimately be rewarded with the big secret simply because she’s “the best friend” and that’s it.

The Alya at the end of the episode isn’t the Alya I’ve known for the entire rest of the series before this, or at the very least they turned her into an Alya I don’t recognize.

Alya claims during the ending scene that she knows that Marinette is hiding something beyond her love problems because she - as a reporter and “her best friend” - can sense such things, and all I’m left wondering is

w h e r e ?

Where and when has Alya been suspicious or worried about Marinette keeping a secret from her? What, back in “The Pharoah” where she didn’t immediately disregard Marinette for the role of Ladybug, or “Simon Says” where she vaguely teased Marinette about having a double life, both Season 1 episodes?

Where was Alya in “Truth” saying that she didn’t know Marinette’s secret but knew that she was keeping one? Where was Alya anywhere in Season 3 being concerned that Marinette hasn’t told her something? Where was this “supposedly very observant” Alya when Marinette needed her to out Lila because Lila got her expelled--oh wait, Alya “observed” that Lila did nothing and Marinette was just jealous.

What, is it only now that Alya suddenly “knows” that Marinette is hiding something else? Now, after Alya has already not known that Marinette was literally dating someone, even when Alya had multiples pictures of Marinette and said someone giving each other heart eyes and saw Marinette leaving school with said someone riding on the same bike together, you know, like normal, typical, average friends would?

Where’s the line where Alya acknowledges the problem? Where’s Alya sitting down with Marinette and admitting, “hey, I’m sorry I haven’t noticed this stuff, but I promise I’ll do better starting right now, and that’s how I know now that you’re hiding something else, and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that it’s been hurting you”?

I can’t tell you where it is, but I can say that it’s certainly not in this episode. 60% of the episode features the Alya we knew from the rest of the series and then switches her out the second she’s de-akumatized for another Alya who hasn’t done anything that the old one has because she pretends like it didn’t happen.

You know how I know? Because of this absolute gut punch of a line that showed that the series wanted to handwave everything away.

“I know how to keep a secret.”

...Really? Does she now? Well, I hope everyone remembered my point about “Animan” and “The Puppeteer 2,” because I’m bringing it right back.

Considering that “Truth” has been burned into all of our memories, we all definitely remember when Truth shoots Alya and questions her on Marinette’s secret, to which Alya states that Marinette’s secret is, “She’s in love with Adrien Agreste.” Now, at the time of Season 4′s airing, this is very much not a secret, as most characters already knew about Marinette’s crush, to the point where it’d been broadcast on television during Season 2.

But do you know when it was actually a secret? Back in Season 1, specifically in the episode “Animan” where Alya told Nino.

And not only did she tell Nino, but she lied to Marinette by claiming that she didn’t, acting as if Nino knew that Marinette had a crush but didn’t know who she was crushing on, which is then directly proven false as Nino accidentally implies that he does know who it is. This is also after Alya had gotten on Marinette’s case for trying to set her up with Nino, and then she had the gall to say that she wouldn’t spill Marinette’s secret because she, and I quote, “doesn't go around making decisions for other people,“ a statement that is directly contradicted by this little thing known as everything Alya has ever said and done in the entire series.

And while Marinette meddling in Alya’s love life actually ended up working out for Alya, Alya meddling in Marinette’s by telling Nino who Marinette is crushing on comes back to bite Marinette - not Alya (because of course) - in the infamous episode of “The Puppeteer 2,” where Marinette realizes that Alya really did tell Nino that she was crushing on Adrien.

Marinette: You told me you wouldn't tell Nino!

Alya: I haven't told him. Right, Nino? I didn't tell you anything. (elbows him)

Nino: She didn't tell me. And besides, I told her I wouldn't tell.

Then, when she’s called out on it, Alya lies again, and shamelessly so.

Marinette: Why did you tell Nino everything? You promised you wouldn't!

Alya: I didn't, I swear! Besides, even if I had told him everything, he would still be clueless. Ugh, who cares anyway? I've set everything up with Nino, who doesn't know a thing, so you can finally pour your heart out to Adrien, girl!

And now, here we are one season later - and not even half of a season if you go by production code order - and Alya claims that she knows how to keep a secret.

No. No, she does not. In fact, she does even worse because she won’t even admit when she’s spilled said secret. I absolutely refuse to accept that Alya is “worthy” or “deserving” of learning that Marinette is Ladybug when she couldn’t even keep a basic secret like who her friend was crushing on.

And no, it didn’t matter that Nino was her boyfriend, or that maybe she thought it would work out because Nino was friends with Adrien. By that logic, Alya would tell Adrien that Marinette is Ladybug if she heard that Ladybug is who Adrien was crushing on and we all know how that would’ve gone.

Marinette has a right to tell her secret to whoever she wants and I’m glad that a burden has been lifted from her, but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy that it’s Alya. That doesn’t mean I have to be happy that, after so many moments of Alya disrespecting Marinette’s feelings, she is the one who gets to hear the big secret that the fandom has been waiting for someone to find out about since the very start of the series.

Luka said it best in “Truth” that the truth is meant to be shared, not taken by force, but Marinette was forced to tell Alya by the narrative because Alya is her supposed “best friend.” It pushed Marinette to her breaking point, forced her to break up with the guy who has respected her agency and feelings since the day they met, and gave her a version of her “best friend” with the same name and face but with none of the responsibility from previous events so that said version was there at the right time and the right place to hear what had to be heard.

And in the end, I end up feeling nothing. Marinette doesn’t even have a “Marinette” reaction to saying it as one would expect; for her to blurt it out and then immediately start panicking until Alya hugs her to calm her down. Instead, Marinette just says it and stares silently at Alya - after blabbing this huge, very big deal of a secret - until Alya goes in for a hug (the “happy/hopeful” ending of which is why I feel like this episode also gets less flak, as the previous two ended off rather depressing/upsetting).

It’s off. Everything is off. The pacing, the delivery, and the logic that the episode uses. The emotion in Marinette’s voice when she’s rambling about how hard it is to keep her secret is so powerful, but then the ending hits and she just says it, breaking the momentum they had going. They pulled the card of Alya walking away too soon when they could’ve saved it, having Marinette go quiet and letting Alya take a few steps away in order to let the moment build before Marinette finally blurts out the secret she’s been painfully holding in.

But they didn’t, and I’m so many levels of dissatisfied. I wasn’t against the idea of Alya learning Marinette’s secret at some point (though honestly, Alix would’ve been a better pick considering that Bunnyx will know eventually anyway, and I say that not even liking Alix!), but not now; not when Alya had so much to work towards.

And now what? What happens now? Now Alya will turn against Lila, not because she learned to have faith and believe in Marinette, but because Marinette is Ladybug, which disproves Lila’s ultimate lie that got Alya’s attention in the first place? Now Alya will be supportive and less teasing/mocking whenever Marinette will be late, not because she understands that Marinette isn’t perfect and has so many other things on her mind, but because she’s Ladybug and has “hero stuff” to take care of? Now Alya will be careful about what she puts on the LadyBlog, not because she respected Ladybug and what Ladybug would want, but because Ladybug is now her best friend and that changes everything?

Because now, Alya has a free pass to all of that, the show making her spontaneously “developed” now so they won’t have to develop her later, and disappointing doesn’t even begin to describe it.

[not-wholly-unheroic]

Here's another question! How would you write a redemption arc for Disney's Captain Hook and from where would his redemption arc start? After the first movie or after the sequel?

Disneyverse Hook and Pan definitely have a few things going for them that I think would make a redemption arc/reconciliation storyline more doable than some versions. For one thing, Disney's version of Pan is a little bit more mature than some and seems to (mostly) be a good kid who just likes to be the "class clown." He can be selfish and full of himself, to be sure, but he generally only seems to seriously engage Hook in battle when Hook has done something to provoke it. He also takes Wendy growing up more gracefully (in the sequel) than most Pans would and seems able to accept that she can be an adult and still be a kid at heart. Additionally, Disney's Hook is one of the "softer" versions of the character, and to be entirely honest, it's why he's my favorite version of the character. Disney's Hook has some VERY vulnerable moments on-screen in the films, and if you include other Disney materials featuring Hook, it's made pretty obvious that he IS capable of caring about others and that he struggles a great deal with his mental health and self-esteem. As mentioned in your previous ask, this combination of a "soft" Hook and a more mature Peter is a great starting point for a redemptive arc.

In fact, Disney has already done a lot to set up a potential redemption arc for Hook in the Jake series. Over the course of the series, we see that Hook cares a great deal about his mother and love interest, Red Jessica, and that when children are kind to him, he is able to show some level of respect and civility, if not exactly kindness, in return. Disney Junior has done a surprisingly good job of giving us complex villains with redemption arcs like Cedric the Sorcerer in Sofia the First and Chancellor Esteban in Elena of Avalor. Truthfully, I think Disney wanted to go the same route with Hook in the Jake series but then ended up having to sort of backpedal when they realized that they had set the series while Wendy is still a child and they still had to have him be a villain for the second film unless they wanted to totally ignore their own canon. (The final episode of the series is one that I personally choose to ignore because it is totally out of character for that particular version of Hook, who has shown so much growth, to suddenly go seriously dark. It's like the writers went, "Oh no! We need to remind the audience that Hook is still a villain somehow before the show ends!") Personally, I would have had the series end with a couple of episodes featuring time skips that tie in the sequel somehow and eventually see Hook coming back to his more heroic nature and happily sailing off with Red Jessica but that's just me.

If we ignore the Jake series, though, and only focus on the films, I do still think a redemption arc is doable...just a bit less obvious. There are some Disney sequels which, let's be honest...are just flat-out terrible. But Return to Neverland is, in my opinion, one of the good ones, so I consider it canon to the storyline for Disneyverse Hook as well. I will say that in the sequel, Hook definitely seems a bit more manic and overtly dangerous at times than in the original film, which makes me wonder what happened between the films to trigger that change...perhaps something to do with the mysterious disappearance of the crocodile? Whatever the case may be, Hook's mental health (which was already fragile to begin with) has clearly taken a nosedive by the time of the sequel...and then his ship sinks at the end of the film. So he's having a rough time...which might actually be a GOOD thing in terms of a redemption arc. A character who is totally broken is more readily reassembled into a new version of themselves. Add to that the fact that we now know with certainty that Hook can come and go from the island freely (yes, I know I just pointed out the ship sinking but it's Disney so don't tell me they can't find a way to fix it) and I think we have a good setup. Perhaps, at the end of his wits and just DONE with everything Neverland, Hook decides to leave the island for awhile. That gives him the emotional/mental space he needs to start healing and moving on. Maybe he doesn't exactly forgive Peter, but he can at least begin to forget about the boy and start over with a new life. Perhaps, in that new life, he runs into Wendy, now grown up, and sees her as a kind, loving mother and sees Jane as not just A CHILD but SOMEONE'S child. Perhaps he even meets a child who shows fondness for him. Maybe it's Danny, who has only ever heard about him in stories and is in awe of meeting a character from one of his mother's tales in person. Maybe it's a child who reminds him of himself when he was young. Or maybe, if the right person comes along, it is a child of his own. Regardless, this child--whoever they are--brings out the paternal side of him, and as that part of him grows, he begins to see Peter in a different light and to see his own actions in the past for the horrors that they were. Perhaps Peter still comes to visit Wendy and Jane, and one day, while he's visiting, Hook happens to show up too...and slowly, they start to see each other as PEOPLE rather than enemies.

[aueua]

Idk if you want canon or not but there isn't a lot of stuff for this ship anyway so traitor lord's daughter and ze'mer?

ah... traitors' child my beloved... <3

it's been a while since i revisited them.

something difficult, would be their dynamic without diverging heavily from canon. where the daughter's tribe was against the union because the partner she sought was not quite simple: she's a great knight. strong certainly, but that title cannot be disregarded. and truthfully this would not have mattered so much, but they were infected, and so their resentment towards things hallownest related had been amplified.

and while it shouldn't matter. well. the mantis is usually more reserved about things and her emotions are often complicated. she does not indulge in affection blatantly, does not find many opportunities to meet with her lover, and is overall quiet about everything as her tribe of defectors makes it quite clear they detested hallownest if it wasn't obvious enough by their intrusion into a territory (that was not even the lady's own lands originally).

meeting is simply. hard. harder, when considering either of them may have or otherwise felt it wrong to confide in others about their little relationship that sprouted in who knows how. perhaps it was how confidently ze’mer carried herself with origins hidden by the armor she donned herself in. maybe her stories. and perhaps it was the daughter’s winning personality of curiosity that kept her drawn. an intrigue of her own that came from secrecy. and later, of course, it’s more attributed to when they spar. their clear differences in how the other was unlike normal denizens. an unfaltering nature.

though they were able to cherish what moments they could, perhaps it was an abrupt end. never telling the other where they must go (they should not have gotten so attached to begin with). ze’mer finding her lover departed far too late.

yeah.

yet in the verse where they were allowed, they would be considered gentle lovers. ze'mer is the one that often initiates contact and long-winded praises. she holds for the other cannot (not properly, at least, and those moments are the only times she felt her rightfully sharp claws were in the way). and though the child does not indulge in these matters frequently, it makes the times mean all that much more when she does happen to. a gentle head rest here. a prize from a hunt there. a short word in her language, returned with a loving phrase from other lands.

see also: the fact that both of them are assuredly a power couple. that's a whole knight and that's a bug hailing from a tribe that's no nonsense. the daughter fills in gaps with her innate agility when the sweep of the great-nail arcs just the slightest slow. ze'mer heads at the front and is capable of enduring blows that would otherwise have rung throughout metal and body and sung it numb.

also tropes of both of them managing to have their antennae curl into hearts! accidental yet lingering contact that slowly grows into more confident and deliberate touches. glancing at the reflection of the other in your weapon and seeing their enamored gaze. just... the general knowledge of knowing their partner will be okay. they're strong. reliable. loyal. (and yet they would still check on the other to see if everything was alright. if their lover was fine.)

hello. mantises huh! mantises. and ze’mer. i never quite settled fully on the important bits of their dynamic, but... ^^ :person_golfing:

nonetheless. it’s quite sweet that the daughter’s only at ease when the flower is delivered, after all the struggle the knight would go through (nails and claws and Possibly explosions) almost like what they were met with. and if you see it as void that leaks from the daughter’s ghost and the delicate flower tying into relieving(? this isn’t the word) stains of echoes and regrets in some way or another, well...

hehe... girlfriends

[faelicy]

Miss Faelicy I would love to get your opinion on Bingqiu.

I see people posting things like how they are "problematic" and how they don't really love each other and SQQ only feels sympathy etc. Obviously there were struggles between them as there should be (considering all that happened) and just because sqq wasn't very open and super obvious about his feelings doesn't mean they are not there..this is how I interpreted it. I would love to know your opinion

Hello! This also covers part 2 of the previous ask.

First, massive spoilers for the end of the novel. Second, a disclaimer: I despise shipwars, which I think are behind most of those comments. I hate them because it's usually all in bad faith: everyone's already committed to their interpretation of the ships, and any discussion is just a guise for justifying their preferences.

So to any readers: I don't want anything here to be used as shipwar fuel. This post is about Bingqiu's canon arc and themes. Basically, I don't know or care if Bingqiu is a good ship, but I do think it's a well-written one.

I'll start by saying directly: for most of the novel, Bingqiu is neither healthy nor romantic. And that this is not bad writing, but on purpose.

A relationship that drives one party to mental breakdown isn't healthy. A relationship where that party says it's okay to hurt or kill them can't possibly be healthy. That happened because there was something deeply wrong with their relationship, something that can't be reduced to Xin Mo, miscommunication, or LBH throwing a tropey yandere fit.

And out of all three MXTX novels, only SV lacks a love confession from the MC to the ML. Again, I don't think it's an oversight, or just because SQQ's face is too thin. There are plenty of ways MXTX could have worked a subtle one in if she really wanted to.

In my opinion, Bingqiu's narrative can be split up into four arcs: Qing Jing Peak (ch 1-27), Jin Lan City (28-43), Post-revival (29-55), and Reconciliation (56-81). Other than the first arc, where their relationship is pretty straightforward, Bingqiu spend most of the rest in direct conflict.

I'll give an overview of the arcs here, but what I truly want to say about Bingqiu starts in arc 4, so if you're impatient you can scroll down. But the overview might help add context.

Jin Lan City arc is about LBH's anger at being brutally betrayed by the one person he thought he could trust. Here he tries to force answers out of SQQ, who he believes both hates him and is a hypocrite. He's driven by a desire to return to the past, but his rage and love makes his actions contradictory: on one hand he tries to win SQQ's approval constructively, by climbing to the top of Huan Hua Palace and performing good deeds, on the other hand his belief that SQQ doesn't care about him so it's all futile anyway (reinforced by SQQ's own actions) causes him to lash out destructively, going as far as to hurt and imprison SQQ.

LBH's bitterness is portrayed very negatively, because all it does is instill despair into SQQ, until SQQ ends up believing that he's only been a blight on LBH's life, and that he must make up for it by killing himself. Whereupon LBH breaks down, regressing into a childlike state. Some might ask, why does LBH never bring up the Abyss again afterwards? It's because he gives up here. This entire arc is about getting LBH to let go of past wrongs and to stop seeking answers, whether the reader believes it's fair to him or not. Because SQQ's life is more important.

Post-revival arc then is about SQQ trying to come to terms with a blackened LBH who also loves him. Interestingly, despite SQQ's horror at realizing LBH was romantically interested in him all along, SQQ actually has a very subtle but telling secondary reaction. To explain, let's back up to the first arc.

Starting around ch 9, probably as a sign of his growing affection, SQQ begins addressing LBH as 这孩子, or "this child," in his internal monologue, instead of LBH's name. He does it once each in ch 9, 12, 17, 21, 25. However, once Jin Lan City arc starts, SQQ drops the address entirely. LBH and "child" are never brought up together except for one snarky comment on LBH's tantrum being disgracefully childish in ch 38.

At first glance this doesn't look noteworthy because LBH by this point is no longer a kid. But when LBH kisses him in ch 49, SQQ changes again: right away he returns to using "child" on LBH, and the "this child" address starts popping up at a much higher frequency. By the end of SV SQQ has referred to LBH as a child in some manner at least 35 times (yes I went and counted), with the vast majority after ch 49, and he continues to do so right into the last extra.

Why was SQQ unwilling to use this address of affection for over 20 chapters? Perhaps because he too thought LBH hated him, and couldn't bear to think about him so intimately knowing that. So SQQ immediately falling back into it the moment he learns LBH loves him is a sign of his relief. He's still dismayed at the romantic part, but though SQQ likes to deflect from his real emotions (this is the guy who focused on bad naming sense after being fatally poisoned, who cavalierly commented only after it was all over that he'd expected to die), the fact that LBH loves and doesn't hate him, means a lot.

Here SQQ's feelings towards LBH are at their most complicated. He still assumes the worst of him like in Jin Lan City, but now because of the above, also sees a lonely child whenever LBH is unhappy and lost. It's like he has two filters actively interfering with each other, "crazed criminal" and "pitiful child," and so he flip-flops between pushing LBH away and comforting him. But when LBH drags CQMS into it, and even seemingly takes advantage of SQQ's love for him, SQQ's negative image and frustration with him only grows, until he finally snaps and tells LBH to never come near him again.

At this point SQQ still believes that LBH is the same black-hearted, invincible, devil incarnate that og!LBH was portrayed to be. The Reconciliation arc starts by chipping away at this filter that's been plaguing SQQ for so long. First the revelation that TLJ/ZZL was behind the sowers, thus clearing LBH's name at Jin Lan City. Then we see how unloved he is by his own father; we see him injured and helpless and unconscious. Meng Mo yells at SQQ, reinforcing that image of a vulnerable, terrified child. So by ch 62 SQQ has thrown away the "crazed criminal" filter completely, and in that same chapter they cling to each other and finally make up. Because while it's true that the current LBH is misanthropic, antisocial, and mercurial, SQQ has also finally accepted that he's still the same LBH he'd raised and doted on, back on Qing Jing Peak.

Now I'm going to talk about what I see as the most important part of Bingqiu. Yes, despite the wall of text already.

A common sentiment of Bingqiu shippers about their issues seems to be, "SQQ is dumb and oblivious; he can't figure out what LBH needs even though he loves him because he sees LBH as a novel character," but I think the problem is far more complicated and insidious than that. If that was everything, why give SQQ the epiphany that he misunderstood LBH so early? Why have him think in ch 66 that "truthfully, he'd never really trusted Luo Binghe, and that's why he kept accidentally hurting him?" If he's already realized that he shouldn't treat LBH like og!LBH (he even meets og!LBH in ch 71 to rub it in further), why do we go another 13 chapters believing their relationship is good and well, even giving us a sweet, happy moment in ch 75, only to show LBH having the worst breakdown of the novel just 4 chapters later? Was it all just padding to demonstrate the danger of Xin Mo?

Or is there something else beneath the surface?

In ch 66, the same chapter where SQQ implies he doesn't want to accidentally hurt LBH anymore, he says something telling. When LQG is skeptical that LBH can be trusted, SQQ thinks, 家里孩子不懂事，大人不容易做, or "when your child doesn't know any better, as the adult you don't have it easy." The child here of course refers to LBH, and the adult is SQQ, who's complaining about smoothing over LBH's messes. But what is SQQ implying here?

Doesn't know any better? That's what you say about a toddler who can't think for themselves, not a grown man. LBH is 25 and SQQ thinks he doesn't know better. Doesn't know better about what? LBH's wants, his needs? His feelings? Or even what's good for him?

And then you realize that's exactly how SQQ's always treated him, like a helpless child who can't make his own choices.

It's SQQ who chooses to throw LBH down into the Abyss without trying to talk to him. It's SQQ who decides that keeping silent is the best choice. It's SQQ who believes self-destructing in front of LBH will help, who thinks that breaking off their relationship is for the better. And it's SQQ who scolds LBH into tolerating CQMS, even though they hate each other and CQMS is hostile towards him. Who forces him to leave first at Zhao Hua Temple despite LBH's pleas otherwise, who shoos him out the window when CQMS walks in on them.

Every single one of these decisions, SQQ made believing it was for the best (repair LBH's relationship with his family, help him avoid arrest, not wanting to make excuses, wanting LBH to be free of his hatred), and every single one of them only damaged LBH further. Because SQQ's never listened to him, even once. Never consulted him or considered his feelings.

(And LBH did try to bring up his feelings on one of the matters in ch 75. He insinuates to SQQ that he doesn't like LQG calling him "little beast" or "ingrate." And SQQ's response is to dismiss them entirely, saying that LQG's "not wrong.")

SQQ has always loved LBH, but he's never once respected LBH's agency or personhood. Because LBH doesn't know better and SQQ does, so SQQ must make all his decisions for him.

And this, amplified by Xin Mo, is what finally drives LBH mad in ch 79.

To LBH, the important part isn't whether SQQ loves him, which I think he knew after ch 43 (it's why he can be so daring and pushy with SQQ's boundaries). What's important is that the moment SQQ believes abandoning LBH is justified for whatever reason again, SQQ absolutely will.

Ch 80's two-way noncon (since LBH was basically unconscious and couldn't consent) tends to draw most of the attention, but I actually think that what happens afterwards is one of the most important scenes for Bingqiu. There SQQ tries to sacrifice himself a second time for LBH, drawing Xin Mo's demonic qi into his body. Yet the novel claims that SQQ's actions here are completely different than in ch 43. SQQ himself says that this time he's doing it for LBH, while last time he was doing it for himself. But can the reader see a functional difference?

There is one, in fact: it's SQQ's response to LBH's choice afterwards. LBH decides to follow SQQ in death, even though this would void the point of SQQ's sacrifice. But instead of insisting otherwise, SQQ just accepts it. Because he finally understands that whether LBH's life is worth living, whether LBH will be better off, is for LBH and only LBH to decide.

It's the first time he respects LBH's agency. And this is the only reason why he and LBH can finally begin building a healthy relationship on the mess they've had up to now.

So that's what I see as the true beauty behind Bingqiu. It's about communication and mistaken assumptions, yes, but it's also about the nature of love between parent and child. The romantic developments were left to the extras, I believe, because this was the main story MXTX wanted to tell with them. Their relationship as lovers only starts afterwards, hence why SV ends with, "the story between you and I, has only just begun." It was never meant to be a whirlwind romance where they fall in love cleanly. It might not to be to everyone's tastes, but an incredible amount of thought was put into the narrative, and that's what amazed me when I first finished this novel.

(This post went on way too long and I ended up cutting off a huge chunk of tangential stuff and how SQQ came to his realization in ch 79: he didn't do it alone. It took him seeing the LBH in TLJ and the himself in YQY for him to understand. In fact, YQY and og!SQQ's relationship has a similar parent-and-child dynamic. I've touched on it before on twitter; if there's interest I might try writing that up here too.)

[kevin--of-desert-bluffs]

@thousand-winters

This point you made got me thinking so I'm going to properly talk out my theory.

I think, well actually this might be really obvious, that a big part of The Boy arc was talking about Nature versus Nurture.

I'm going to continue to use Dana as an example/piece of evidence because she's the only one who has had multiple points of contact with her doubles who have also talked about the nature of doubles themselves.

I'm also going to kind of set aside the whole 'Cecil and Kevin are doubles somehow' thing with a casual and perhaps disappointing 'at some point interference of Huntokar and a Smiling God made a Cecil so not Cecil he's Kevin and then those Kevin's became more Kevin's as the universes fractured further and further' and begin.

The nature of 'doubles' in NV canon is interesting.

We know they look, act and sound exactly alike. We also learn from Dana that they are not simply created from nothing but instead come from the many different universes/timelines that exist.

We also know;

They can feel when one of them dies

They can have skills, mindsets or minor personality differences depending on what kind of world they came from but generally think exactly alike

If a double does appear in another universe and can't get back they have two choices - the first is to become the only one of them in that universe, the second is to live in that universe never impacting anything or anyone or the universe itself will become unstable (e.g. Frances Donaldson)

The Boy wants to be the only Kevin, driven both by the force that caused all those doubles in Sandstorm to fight to the death and his own nature as Kevin which seems to lean towards Violence As The Answer. Important to note here is the test this was to Tamika, who is trying very hard to have that not be how she thinks any more, and also trying to raise the younger Kevin.

The deviation between doubles is often not very much. They are almost completely, if not completely, alike, in every way. Often living identical lives to each other so that Dana can't even tell if she's in her own universe now. She might be the double.

Kevin is aware of this when he sees The Boy. The Boy is already struggling with his sense of identity and with the need to have something to believe in, something that gives him that identity and purpose. Kevin himself went through exactly that. The Boy is venting his frustrations through violence. Kevin too did and does that.

Kevin says he knows he can't convince The Boy to be peaceful even though he wants to, because The Boy is still a Kevin and most if not all of them 'want what I want and so will choose what I chose' to paraphrase.

I don't believe he meant this literally. As in literally the same things, because those same things don't exist any more for this Kevin, more so he would make similar/the same kinds of choices in the same kinds of situations including the current one. In a way he did make 'the same choice', being taken under Lauren's influence and then rebelling against that influence though it did not end well. They just did it in different ways.

So the only way to make sure a Kevin has a good life is probably for another Kevin to give it a go.

Tamika was doing her best, but she let The Boy run with his nature. The Boy literally grew up too fast (he's described as being almost as tall as the older Kevin now so he's probably an older teen, unlike our Kevin who got to experience younger childhood and do things like Sob or Codding and also may have had a mother too or at the very least a single father which The Boy will not) and the nature he holds is a turbulent and insecure one.

Kevin now wants to try and nurture this Kevin into something a bit better than himself, knowing he can only do so much - which is why he says he will raise this Kevin well, enough - because a Kevin is still a Kevin but this Kevin won't have StexCorp in his life at the very least.

But he will still have a Smiling God, who might be part of everything to begin with, once more nurturing another Kevin to be closely like the previous Kevin.

The 'prophet Kevin' written in The Book of Devouring may not even be our Kevin, but a previous and much older Kevin. In fact, all Kevin's seem drawn to or to begin/end in the desert other world. Their connection to it is not fully explored yet, but curious.

So do I think this Kevin will finally succeed in nurturing a Kevin who leads a healthy life with no pain and no mistakes? No. He can't. This new Kevin is still Kevin, he will still act like Kevin, it's in his nature. Our Kevin also knows this, it's a sad truth.

But can it be better than what happened with him? With the correct nurturing maybe so...maybe he'll have a better relationship with his two dads than our Kevin did with his father (and possible mother). Maybe he'll be more secure in who he is (especially when he was wiped clean and was then helped instantly to understand his identity by being given one right away) and therefore retain a piece of himself if things do go down similar routes to our Kevin which our Kevin did not.

Maybe he'll stay kind, be more like the pre-Strex Kevin and never change from that.

Or maybe he won't, because it's not a 'ground hogs day' style timeloop, but it is an...event-style time loop. Why? Who knows.

Not all Kevin's do a good job, some do, some do an ok job, some do a terrible job and that's based on their nature and nurture too.

But Kevin's will try to raise Kevin's, out of duty, obligation, genuinely wanting to do better by himself, anything. And this will never end until something powerful ends it, until then something will always happen to bring a young Kevin to an older Kevin and something will always happen to make that Kevin make the choice to raise himself which he always will. It's in his nature.

OOOOH!!!

I was just talking to @smilingsynernist about the ending of 'Father Kevin'.

Ya know, the one that seems to be saying that Kevin was his own father, and now is the father again to himself?

And how everyone was upset, because Kevin's father from what we know of him was likely abusive and that doesn't match at all with our Kevin?

And how that's a seemingly impossible timeloop without Desert Bluffs, StrexCorp (and Lauren Mallard) and all kinds of things being around any more?

Ok but get this - we know that there's infinite versions of everyone right, many vastly different to those of them we know. For example, there is a Dana from a warring world that is more vicious and aggressive than our Dana.

So...what if it's less that our Kevin's father is himself (as we know him), more that Kevin's father is another version of Kevin from another world who also met with a boy who was himself and raised him as another Kevin and that this is a strange loop Kevin is in where each adult Kevin meets with a child double of himself and feels compelled to raise himself and does whatever kind of job that adult Kevin can do with whatever life he's had.

Kevin's raising Kevin's, never the exact same Kevin, just a Kevin?

[perfectfoil]

an independent and private roleplay account dedicated to Vera Bennett from the Foxtel's show Wentworth.

I - This is an independent and private roleplay account for Vera Bennett, a character from the Australian show Wentworth. The rendition is entirely my own and though it aims to be respectful of the canon source material it is also influenced by my own interpretation and reading of the character. 

II - I write with people I am in a mutual follow with and who are over the age of 20 (25+ is even better) I tend to base interactions on memes / asks as I’m not particularly gifted in the art of starters’ writing but I might attempt them every now and then. Though I know plotting and discussing ideas can be tricky or even nerve wracking at times: it is perhaps my favourite thing to do - writing aside. I won’t hesitate to make suggestions so I can only invite you to do the same and approach me.

III - Due to the nature of the show and Vera’s arc: there are triggering and all sorts of more or less dark, violent and even disturbing contents present on this account. Those are tagged accordingly (but if I ever slip, please do let me know)

IV - I am more than happy to throw Vera into verses that have nothing to do with her canon so whether you’re familiar with her / the show isn’t relevant. AUs are where it’s at. 

V - I don’t format my replies because I don’t care for it. As long as my partner’s formatting is legible, it really isn’t an issue for me.

VI - Shipping can be a teensy-weensy fickle thing. I’m not going to state the obvious which is: if there is no chemistry, I’m afraid that ship can’t sail. Vera is very repressed; in her entire life, she has been through a grand total of one relationship that turned out to be a complete lie with a man who used, deceived and betrayed her. She has also been struggling with an array of conflicting feelings for Joan Ferguson who also lied to, used, deceived and manipulated her - and to whom Vera is her perfect foil. Even in the context of an AU, I will always acknowledge their relationship as it has forever affected, altered and defined Vera’s character and the way she’s developed. Bear in mind that I will not ship Vera with male muses.

VI - I’m Juniper, my life is busy so my activity will be what it’ll be.

Thank you! ♥

[shadow-sovereign]

Shadow Consort au

This will have spoilers for who the previous Shadow Monarch is. I prefer the name translation of Ashborn, rather than Osborne. It seems more fitting. Osborne seems more of a human name. While Ashborn is like, born from the ashes of his former self. Very fitting.

I was quite sad that Ashborn didn’t stick around longer. It would have been cool to see him go on adventures with Jin-Woo and to teach him about magic. In that novel scene, I got the vibe that he was quite fond of Jin-Woo.

I mean, obviously he was fond, since he made Jin-Woo his successor. He chose him, based on what he had seen of Jin-Woo’s struggles in life. I really liked that it wasn’t some chosen by fate, born special, kind of thing. Ashborn watched Jin-Woo and decided this was the human he wanted as a successor.

My fic idea is, what if he wasn’t just fond, but fell in love? There’s a special place in my heart for ‘ancient being falls in love with human’. Just someone who’s been around for at least thousands of years, has a different perception of the world, but is still so charmed by a human’s personality and actions than they fall in love.

When Jin-Woo does his job change arc, instead of the title ‘Shadow Monarch’, it would show ‘Shadow Prince’. (Ashborn would want it to be ‘Shadow Consort’, but he figured it would be too soon for that. And he doesn’t want Jin-Woo to think he’s demanding that kind of relationship. Ultimately, it’ll be Jin-Woo’s choice whether they’re just good friends or something more.)

I imagine the explanation under Shadow Prince to be something like this:

[Second only to the Shadow Sovereign. Soldiers made by the Prince will be exclusively loyal to him, while soldiers revived by the Sovereign will only follow the Prince’s orders if they don’t conflict with the Sovereign’s.]

Since the shadow soldiers would likely feel a pull towards both of them, it would help them to know who they’re supposed to follow. Plus, it would reassure Jin-Woo that his soldiers aren’t going to be turned against him.

Jin-Woo would wonder, who is this Shadow Monarch? Why has he been made the Prince of his...Kingdom? Is there a Kingdom??

Was it the Shadow Monarch himself who chose him? Could a shadow Prince even be chosen by someone else? And most importantly, what would the Shadow Monarch want from him, to give him these powers?

Nothing much would change from canon until their meeting, except I imagine Ashborn giving Jin-Woo gifts through the system. Attempting to gain Jin-Woo’s favor before they meet.

I’m not sure what he’d give him. Healing and mana potions to start, maybe? Ashborn would want to send him things that are useful or personal, but not too romantic. Daggers are the obvious answer, but I think it’s more meaningful that Jin-Woo gets better daggers as he gets stronger. He works hard for them and earns them with his achievements.

Perhaps Ashborn would go looting in other worlds/dimensions, looking for interesting items to give Jin-Woo. Things are that are useful, perhaps even decorative. I like the idea of Jin-Woo wearing earrings, so perhaps an item like that. Maybe things that are useful in the home, too.

Jin-Woo is more than just a fighter, and I think it might be good for Ashborn to show that he knows that. And that he values that part of Jin-Woo, too.

Imagine Jin-Woo’s reaction if Ashborn gifts him something like a vase or a painting, clearly alien in origin, his mind going ‘???’ at what he’s supposed to do with it.

And Jin-Woo would probably be hesitant to throw the gifts away, wary of offending the Shadow Monarch. He’d rather receive odd gifts than anger someone who’s clearly stronger than him. (Ashborn would try to take note of which gifts he actually likes, though, and maybe even send a note telling him which items he doesn’t mind Jin-Woo selling off.)

Their meeting would happen similar to canon, except that Ashborn wouldn’t be planning to go to sleep forever. He’d have a different face, too. A handsome one.

He’d help Jin-Woo defeat the Monarchs and tell the Rulers to shoo. Then he’d show Jin-Woo where all the interesting worlds are, going on adventures, showing him beautiful and exotic sights.

They’d bring back stuff for Jin-Woo’s family. (And maybe Ashborn would have been able to save Jin-Woo’s dad, which would have certainly earned him Jin-Woo’s favor.)

Eventually, Jin-Woo realizes that Ashborn doesn’t just see him as an heir, but is interested in him. That leaves him reeling, but he decides to give Ashborn a chance and starts falling in love as well.

And I don’t really have any other ideas for this. I just like the idea of Ashborn falling in love after watching Jin-Woo and then trying to court him.