#is he wearing camo?? i want to know everything but i know ill only see it again if someone decides to put him on a worst dressed list

[lotussokka]

the problem with the official vogue met gala livestream is that they interview outrageously famous celebrities instead the minor celebrity i care about

[rthoney]

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

9: Are you ticklish?

10: Are you allergic to anything?

11: What’s your sexuality?

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

16: How tall are you?

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

21: Are you religious?

22: Pet peeves?

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

24: Favorite constellation?

25: Favorite star?

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

27: Any phobias or fears?

28: Do you think global warming is real?

29: Do you believe in reincarnation?

30: Favorite movie?

31: Do you get scared easily?

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

34: What is a color that calms you?

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

36: Where were you born?

37: What is your eye color?

38: Introvert or extrovert?

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

40: Hugs or kisses?

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

43: Any piercings you want?

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

47: What is a sound you really hate?

48: A sound you really love?

49: Can you do a backflip?

50: Can you do the splits?

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

52: Favorite movie?

53: How are you feeling right now?

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

55: When did you feel happiest?

56: Something that calms you down?

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

58: What does your URL mean?

59: What three words describe you the most?

60: Do you believe in evolution?

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

62: What makes you follow a blog?

63: Favorite kind of person:

64: Favorite animal(s):

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

66: Favorite emoticon:

67: Favorite meme:

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

69: What is your star sign?

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

72: Post a selfie or two?

73: Do you have platform shoes?

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

75: Can you do a front flip?

76: Do you like birds?

77: Do you like to swim?

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

81: Piercings you have?

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

83: Favorite person to talk to:

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

85: How many followers do you have?

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

87: Do your socks always match?

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

89: What are your birthstones?

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

92: A store you hate?

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

95: Do you like to wear camo?

96: Winter or summer?

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

98: Least favorite person?

99: Someone you look up to:

100: A store you love?

101: Favorite type of shoes

102: Where do you live?

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

105: Do you drink milk?

106: Do you like bugs?

107: Do you like spiders?

108: Something you get paranoid about?

109: Can you draw:

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

111: A question you hate being asked?

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

116: Favorite cloud type:

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

118: Do you have freckles?

119: Favorite thing about a person:

120: Fruits or vegetables?

121: Something you want to do right now:

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

123: Sweet or sour foods?

124: Bright or dim lights?

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

128: What do you think about the least?

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

133: Computer or TV?

134: Do you like roller coasters?

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?

137: Do you believe in karma?

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

144: What makes you angry

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

147: Are you androgynous?

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

156: What embarrasses you?

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

159: How many people are you following?

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

163: Last time you cried and why:

164: Do you have long or short hair?

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

1. im ok with my height 2. Australian Shepard 3. not really.is a sweatshirt and leggings a style? 4. wii  5. probably like the 5 people i talk to every day, hamilton, music 6. i thought of like 6 different things.. 7. idk you pick something and ill answer it  8. fuck idk 9. YES BUT IF YOU TICKLE ME BE PREPARE TO BE KICKED  10. just pollen 11. straight  12. all three. 13. both 14. mermaid hehe i love swimming  15. no 16. 5′ 7″ 17. eliza idk i like my name  18. no 19. nope 20. ocean 21.  kinda more like my dad and stepmom are so like i kinda am too. idrk. 22. people umm idk 23. i dont know 24. i dont have one. they all kinda just look like stars to me.. 25. ^^ 26. wtf is that 27. heights. spiders. snake. most bugs in general. sleeping bags. 28. absoultely  29. no 30. H.A.M.I.L.T.O.N 31. i get startled pretty easily but like actually scared, a little less easly 32.fuck alot. ummm i think 14 not including all the fish ive had 33.well its anon so... 34. idk. 35. new york,  paris, austria, irleand,  36. in the same town i have lived in my whole life 37. meduim brown  38. both.. 39. naw 40. both 41. my mutals  42. my best friendsssss 43. i want another percing on my ear 44. ig 45. no 46. no thank you :) 47. i hate the sound of things being hit on metal 48. lin manuel mirandas voice <3 49. nope 50.NOPE 51. LIN. MANUEL. MIRANDA.  52. HAMILTON 53. im feeling good 54. the color that it is..... 55. idfk 56. listening for music 57. not that i know of  58. it means elizard hamilton 59. music. friends. art. thats probably not what it meant but idk  60. yes  61. being and asshole 62. hamilton and fanfics, mostly  63. idk what this means 64. DOGS. CATS. PANDAS. MOST ANIMALS. 65.i have wayyyy more than three tho..... 66.  idk. 67. i dont have one. 68. i dont know what that is... 69. aquaruis...? 70. no ones old and ones dumb 71. probably my pjs or my london tshirt and jeans/leggings 72. if anyone reminds me i will lol. i doubt anyone will read all of these tho. 73.yes but i dont wear them cause i cant walk in heals 74. idk.... 75. fuck no 76. yea 77. YES I LOVE SWIMMING 78. swimmingggg 79. wasps 80. every broadway show ever to be profretionally recorded. 81. i have two in each ear but i rarely wear the bottom one 82. paiting 83.any one of my best friends. 84. memes. depressed people. fandoms 85.166 86. fuck no. 87. nope. like %80 of the time they dont match 88. sometimes 89. amithest. 90. idk 91. daisiessss 92. idfk 93. 0-2 94.read minds 95. ..idk 96. WINTER 97. idk 98. this ass hole i used to be friends with. he was a racist dick and very toxic 99. i d k  100. idk 101. converse 102. Washington 103. No 104. idk  105. yes 106. some  107. nooooo 108. most things lol 109. kinda 110. idk 111. idrk 112. yea but just like tiny spiders 113. yessssssss 114. sunny unless its raining 115. i dont know. 116. i  dont fuccking know 117. blue...? 118. i wishhhh 119 personality 120. vegitables 121. watch hamilton 122. sky 123. sweet, i dont like sour things 124. dim 125. no 126. idk 127. my friends <3 128. what does this mean... 129. idfk 130. my brother  131. basically everything about me  132. sometimes but not really. 133. computer 134. FUCK YEA 135. no 136.what? 137. no 138. 6.7 139. ri ri, ri, genie, honey, riles, bitch, eliza, weirdo, trash, riley elizabeth gene (not my name) 140. no  141. once. but i was super awkward and didnt talk the enitre time amd never saw her again. i probably need theriapy  142. good 143. giving 144. racists, terfs, people who are assholes 145. 1 146. boys 147. what is that 148. my eyes :P 149. idk 150. lexi. peggy. alex. 151. early brodway era 152. yes. sometimes its a problem 153. LOL IM SINGLE  154. yess 155. yos. espisally when my friends hate it so i do it to mess with them 156. my family. talking about my life with my family. sharing things i like with my family, talking about who i like. 157. preforming 158. how i met my best friend. its a long story but ill say if anyone wants me to 159. 142 160. 3563 161. 7 162. 4641 163. i dont know 164. long 165. probably now is the longest its been. or like kindergarden lol 166. ? 167. no 168. a little 169. hell naw 170. yea.

HOLY FUCK THAT TOOK SO FUCKING LONG

thank you anon

[spookyspaghettisundae]

All Eyes on You

Maybe it could have been a regular weekend for me, but there’s no way for me to tell if I was the one who screwed everything up. I was a bit hungover from the night before, so my head weighed a ton and every source of bright light made me cringe in pain—whether it was the fluorescent neon tubes overhead or the daylight streaming in through the store’s front windows.

Every single beep of the cashier running items over the scanner at checkout was like a tiny knife being stuck into my skull, over and over and over again, even though I was fairly far away from it, browsing the unnecessary amount of different brands of laundry detergent.

I grabbed some random one that had nice soft colors and chucked it into my shopping cart. It caused the whole thing to shake and rattle and a person pushing past me gave me a dirty look.

Under any other circumstances, I wouldn’t have wasted any thought on this, but today was different. Now, everything was different. Now, as I looked up, and past that guy shooting me the disparaging glance, I realized that everybody in the store was looking at me.

“Feeling watched” would have been the understatement of the century.

It was so weird and jarring that I forgot about the effects of my hangover for the next few minutes. In part because my heart was racing, in part because my mind was going wild with conspiracy theories and rampant paranoia.

Although I pretended to not care or not notice, I could tell that everybody in the store was looking at me at one point or the other. Normally, I would have chalked this up to something silly, like one of my friends having written something on my forehead with a magic marker while I was passed out.

But with what had happened the night before, I knew better. I knew something was wrong. Horribly wrong.

It didn’t help that some of these people would pretend to not be looking at me, either—furtive glances, eyes quickly darting down to study a shopping list on their phone, or to act like they were looking over grocery items on the shelves. Anything to avoid eye contact with me.

I know what you’re thinking. Just allow me to dial back and explain before you make up your mind.

The night before, I was feeling pretty depressed. I was still pretty new in this town and knew nobody around there. Just some backwater town in the middle of nowhere. The rent on the apartment I had found there was cheap, and the commute to my workplace only an hour which was a vast improvement over my last home.

So I grabbed some beers, drove up to a lonesome little picnic area on the forest’s edge that I had seen on the first day I had visited town when I went to go scout out the apartment a few months ago, and decided to chill out there and watch the sunset after a tedious Friday at work.

The whole day had dragged on at a snail’s pace and I just wanted to unwind and not stare at any screens for a few hours.

I sat there, nursing my first beer, sitting on top of the backrest of the bench like a rebel, when I spotted a mansion near the forest’s edge. I mean, I had seen it before when I first took a drive through this town, but it was only now that I noticed a few funny details about it. And when I say “funny,” I don’t mean the amusing sort.

It had a large red brick wall encircling the entire yard—and that place was as big as a football field. The large mansion matched that appearance, also featuring red bricks and sandstone and wood in its construction, and a lot of unusual details like a tower built into the corner of it. Everything was overgrown with lush green ivy, and there were some nice-looking trees on the property.

So far, so idyllic.

The weird part were the men in green camo clothing, carrying what I think were assault rifles. They patrolled around the inside of the walls, so it was no wonder I hadn’t seen them when I drove through town earlier that year, but being up on the hill at the forest’s edge gave me some elevation and allowed me to see over the walls somewhat.

They were all pretty big-looking dudes. I pegged them for soldiers or something like that—though my imagination wandered to this being a mafioso’s estate and these guys being some well-armed thugs.

It would make sense for some gangster boss to be living well out on the countryside where everything’s nice and quiet, right?

I downed two whole beers and while I had been trying to distract myself with unpacking everything that had happened over the course of the week—both at work and in my personal life—my curiosity got the best of me.

I had to know what the hell this mansion was.

With a simple plan in mind, I packed up everything, and drove back down from the picnic site, now taking a detour so I could casually roll past the mansion. A large steel gate obscured any way of seeing into the mansion’s premises, which was frustrating. In my mind’s eye, I had expected one of those metal fence gates that you can see through, but this one was just a solid surface instead.

Tossing out my original plan, I parked my car across the road by the grass, got out, and walked over. You may be thinking that I was crazy, and I can assure you I am. I was always a bit of a tomboy growing up, and I possessed a fearlessness that got me into trouble every now and then—and because I always got away with playing dumb or innocent, I always got away with my shenanigans and I never learned. Not until this day.

I pressed a button by the gate that I figured to be a buzzer and waited.

Within seconds, a small metal slot opened on the gate, from which a man wearing sunglasses peered through, and it was so sudden and swift in response to my pressing that button that I nearly choked in surprise.

“Yes?” asked the man behind the gate.

“Uh, I was, uh, I was,” I started stammering until my wit finally kicked in. “I was up at the picnic site up here to relax and I had no reception on my phone whatsoever, but I need to make an important call. I figured I could ask here if I could use your land line, or something?”

I slung out my phone and waved it around like a magic wand while flashing this man a dumb smile and shrugging. He looked over his shoulder as if he was responding to someone behind him, but he didn’t say a word. I think he looked up at the picnic site and I could feel the blood draining from my face. Because he turned, though, I saw a weird tattoo on his neck: just a single eye.

Not like I know anything about ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs, but if I had to describe it, that’s what it reminded me of. No fancy elaborate details, just a simple eye. Wide open.

His head turned back with a painful slowness. I could sense the gears churning behind his forehead.

“My phone’s got reception just fine,” said the man. “Here, you can borrow mine.”

I guessed my charm had worked its magic. He held out his phone through the small slot, offering it to me.

Realizing way too late that all of this was a terrible idea, I glanced at my phone and flicked its display on, then chuckled—way too nervously, I presume, “Hey, look at that! I got a bar back. Maybe it was just up at the woods that was not working out for me. Thanks, though.”

The guard slowly withdrew his phone and even though I couldn’t see his eyes, I could have sworn he was glaring at me. I smiled back at him, hoping to disarm any ill will, and started getting really scared about this being some sort of gangster hideout.

“Have a nice day,” he said. But it sounded more like a threat.

He shut the slot with lightning speed and I turned to leave, holding up my phone and pretending to make a call. I yapped away into the void of the non-existent phone call, cringing at my pathetic attempt at emulating a one-sided conversation and the resulting blandness, until I had gotten into my car and slammed the door shut behind me.

My palms were sweaty and cold when they clasped the steering wheel and stick, and I drove away. I was pretty rattled for the rest of the evening although I got back home without any further incident. On the whole ride home, I kept looking into my rear-view mirror to see if I was being followed. And in my paranoia, I thought that some people on sidewalks were shooting me looks, but I dismissed it at the time.

Back at home, I drank the rest of my beers and distracted myself with lousy TV shows until fell asleep.

Then I woke up the next morning, sporting the splitting headache, and decided that things couldn’t be so bad. Because, hey, when it feels like gremlins are pounding the inside of your skull with a jackhammer and your brain’s a funny soup, a lot of worries stop existing. With that state of mind, I went to do my grocery shopping for the week.

And now—this. Everybody watching me. In the confines of my own head, I was calling myself names and cursing myself out for being such a paranoid idiot. There was no reason to be afraid.

But my heart wouldn’t stop racing. Even outside, as I put my groceries in the trunk, I knew that even the people driving in and out of the small parking lot were looking at me.

Watching me.

Worse: I saw that tattoo again. On someone’s forearm. Some lady returning an empty shopping cart to the storefront. She never looked at me directly, but with my back turned to her, I had felt a burning gaze transfixed upon me.

What the hell was this? As an avid reader of strange fiction and horror movie enthusiast, I immediately thought they had to be some sort of cult. What if this entire town was run by a cult? Stranger things have happened.

This was all so surreal. I felt very small and like I was just a passenger in my own body. Everything tingled. My fingers felt numb.

I drove home and shut myself in for the rest of the weekend. I tried to distract myself with TV and video games and even talking to a friend who lived halfway across the country, but nothing helped. I couldn’t help it. I kept thinking that this entire town was crazy and that I was being watched now. I even started getting paranoid if they could tap into my phone or hack my computer, so I avoided telling my friend about anything I had witnessed here.

Just shot the breeze about how life had been for her lately, and put up a good show in pretending that everything was normal on my end.

Come Monday morning, I snuck out of my home and got into my car. Paranoia got the better of me again, so I started checking my ride quite thoroughly, not caring if I would be late for work that day. I had watched too many stupid shows to not think that someone might have tampered with my car. I checked to see if the brakes were working, if there were any bugs, pawing underneath my seats for foreign objects, you name it.

I’m not any sort of professional and if anything was there, I probably missed it. But hey—I tried. Still, I found nothing.

After wasting half an hour on this exercise in futility, I drove off. I never felt so exhilarated to go to work as that day. Because work, for the first time, felt like an escape from something worse. It also felt like an escape from my own head, because I was questioning my own sanity. Surely, the whole town couldn’t be in a cult, right?

I cranked up the music on my radio and sang along to a song I normally hated. And I felt good. For a short while, at least.

It stopped when I drove down the road I usually take to leave town to go to work. A nice narrow road meandering through the wooded area, just like the ones you see in horror flicks.

There was a roadblock in the way once I rounded a curve, with a small jam of cars lined up in front of it. Two police cars obstructed the path and there were some officers standing beside them, one of them talking to the driver in the car at the front of the line. My heart sank, plummeting right into my gut region. I could feel my belly pulsing with my accelerated, anxious heartbeat.

I wonder—does everybody get as nervous as I do whenever I see cops nearby? It’s not like I’d ever done anything wrong, but it had always made me nervous. Even under normal circumstances. Even before this weekend.

But today was different. The events of this weekend had multiplied my paranoia—they had mutated it. If this whole town was run by some weird cult, what if the cops were in on it? What if they were looking for me?

Right when one of the cars was let past the roadblock and drove off, I panicked. I steered out of line and made a U-turn, swerving back onto the road with screeching tires and driving off. It took me a few moments to realize in retrospect that this made me grind my teeth and may have been a stupid move, but I started speeding up and driving away.

The trembling started when I saw a cop car show up behind me, half a minute later. They let the siren wail at me for a split second to grab my attention, and used their blinker to signal me to pull over.

With growing dread, I planned to play along, but step on the gas if things went south.

Even with all the adrenaline rushing through my body, and my attempts to stop my trembling by gripping the steering wheel way harder than natural, I gently steered the car as best I could, driving it onto the roadside and letting it roll to a stop. But I kept the engine running.

A police officer emerged from the car behind me and approached. His hand was resting on the gun at his hip and I wondered if my running motor had anything to do with that.

Or because of this damned cult. Or whatever the hell was going on here.

I rolled down my window once he had arrived there and he looked me up and down. My resolve crumpled and I cut the engine as a token of good will.

“License and registration, please?” asked the police officer in a gravelly voice.

His whole posture was rigid, like a statue—his body language tense. So was I.

Remembering what can go wrong in such an encounter, I carefully leaned over to retrieve the documents from my purse and hand them over. I could feel him watching me all the while, and for the first time in days, I felt like someone watching me was the appropriate action, given the circumstances.

I handed the cop my license and papers and he looked them over, his hand now finally away from the gun, and taking off some of the edge. He studied my face after inspecting my ID.

Then he handed back everything.

“Pardon the interruption, ma'am. Have a nice day,” he told me, and swiveled.

Right when he was walking away was when I saw the tattoo on his neck. The eye—staring at me. Almost as if the damned tattoo itself was watching me.

I never believed in the supernatural or UFOs or any such bunk. But my paranoia was really taking me for a ride now, and I questioned everything I believed in.

When I revved up my engine again and drove off, I still felt the officer’s eyes on me.

Anyway, now you know. That’s how—and why—one day, I bounced from that awful little town, leaving all my belongings behind. How I drove halfway across the states, and started a new life after changing my name.

I’d tell you the town’s name so you can avoid it, but I keep seeing that tattoo in my nightmares. In some of them, it’s like people have an extra eye on their body where there shouldn’t be one, in place of that tattoo. Like the skin breaks open and some bloodshot, weird eye stares at me. Always the same eye.

I still feel watched out in public sometimes. Hell, sometimes I even feel like someone’s watching me at home. I know I should talk to a therapist about this, but I’m afraid they won’t believe me. Or worse.

I got an anonymous call from someone telling me not to talk about what I had seen, but I had to get this off my chest, and maybe nothing bad will happen if I don’t tell you where this was.

—Submitted by Wratts

[1-800-seo]

— 1-800-SEO'𝗌 𖧷 '𝖲𝗈𝗅𝗈 𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗀𝖾' — \ 1 | 2 | /

— 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝗃𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗄𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗑 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

— 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾: 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿/𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍

— 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌: 2655

— 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋: 2

— 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: 𝗂𝗍'𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 90'𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖩𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗄𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗋𝗂𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗀𝗋𝗎𝗇𝗀𝖾 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗂𝖼𝗄𝖾𝗍𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗐.

Your joints crack as you sit up in bed, you stare at the poster covered wall as your eyes adjust to the morning light. Taehyung shifts on his mattress on the floor a few metres away. The sun streams into the room through the slats of the blinds, honey glow lighting up the room. Your back aches as you stretch out your worn muscles. Last night’s activities tired out both your brain and your body.

You pad over to the chunky computer over by the window and switch it on before searching the room for your leather jacket. It’s on the floor underneath Tae’s feet, likely because it was discarded in a hurry to get some sleep. You rummage through the pockets until you find a small folded piece of paper, an old receipt, with a phone number and email address written in neat handwriting.

Once the slow computer has booted up, you load up the internet. The familiar ear piercing dial up tone You scramble to turn the volume down but it’s too late. Taehyung had already stirred and you’d jumped out of your skin. It scared you so much you have goose bumps and almost fall off your chair in the process of finding the volume button on the monitor.

Taehyung slowly sits up on the mattress, cradling his pillow like his life depends on it. His hair is ruffled and eyes heavy.

“What are you doing?” He mumbles out, voice croaky and low with sleep. “Sorry TaeTae, I was trying to ring up the internet but forgot that we played games on it on Wednesday night and didn’t turn down the sound.”

Apologetically you squeeze his knee, hoping he’ll be able to go back to sleep. You don’t like an overtired best friend, especially when yours gets extra cranky like a toddler. Luckily he lies back down and pulls his blanket over his head, most likely blocking out the light. You turn back to the computer and boot up the email program.

You input the email written on the paper, hands shaking as you type. You weren’t used to this, the email read ‘jjkook@yahoo.com’, it made you hyper aware that this doesn’t happen every day.

You begin writing your email to him, as you did so thoughts of gratitude and sentiment welled up inside. You u had to thank him for his kindness, after all, he spared you from a concussion.

The email read: Dear Jeon Jungkook/JJK,

Thanks for everything last night, it’s greatly appreciated. Your show was radical, and I’m sorry I bummed so much of your time. Hope we can meet again soon.

Sincerely, a loyal fan of yours, ~ ________~

You finished typing up your message and read it and re-read it for any mistakes. You wanted it to be chatty and casual but not overly casual so as to look like you don’t care. You left it at that and hit send. The paper airplane emoticon bounced in the digital wind as your email was sent though code to Jungkook himself. You got back in bed and hoped for your heart to stop fluttering.

By the time you received an email in your inbox that wasn’t from a school friend or an advertisement, it was the following Wednesday. You were having your usual hang out with Taehyung when the computer pinged in the background of your chatter. You just ignored it since a ping on your computer is usually just your school friends gossiping about how they want you to set them up with Tae, and went back to your sewing session.

By sewing, you and Tae weren’t exactly doing cross stitch, you were sewing on patches to his back pack and your denim jacket. After you had finished that, that was when you checked your ivory coloured, cube shaped computer monitor and spotted the sender’s name: Jeon Jungkook/JJK.

Tae almost had a heart attack when he saw it with his own eyes. To double check he brushed his fringe out of them. He grabbed you by the shoulder, and shook you back and forth. “Don’t tell me that’s the JJK! Are you serious?!” He exclaimed as he rocked your brain in your skull.

“I mean I think so, I emailed him on Saturday morning.” You scanned your brain for any reason why it wouldn’t be the real him, maybe a scam?

“Open it quick!” Taehyung jumped on the computer, spamming the enter button repeatedly. The email took its time opening, the loading bar going up bit by bit. Too slow for Taehyung’s liking. A few “come on, come on!”’s later and it popped on the screen in all its anticipated glory.

It read: dear ______, im glad to hear that youre ok. dont worry about ‘wasting my time’, you made a normal day exciting, and i cant thank you enough for that, doll. hopefully we can meet up some time? id like to invite you and your friend to my next scheduled show, don’t stress about travel, ill sort it, it’d just be nice to see you again and catch a bite to eat before the show. i want to see your pretty face again, angel. let me know asap.

yours truly - jjk.

As soon as you read the email, you shook with excitement and screamed. Taehyung had wide eyes and his mouth agape. “No. Freaking. Way.” He gasped, completely in shock.

“How did this happen to me? This is a dream, right?” You shake your head as to clear a non existent sleepy fog that could be making you hallucinate.

You look back at the monitor; the email is still there. “This can’t be real?!” You exclaim, turning to Taehyung on your swizzle chair, wide eyed.

“It has to be? This is a real email, it has his email address right there!” He pokes the screen at the point of mention. “It all seems legitimate?” You ponder, searching the screen any tell tale signs of a scam.

“I hope it’s not too good to be true... I want to be your future children’s godfather.” Taehyung said with a giggle, covering his bashful smile.

“You have to be kidding me, as much as I’d like to have his children, we’ve only met once!” You blush, cheeks going warm.

After all the fangirling, you decide to sort out the arrangements of your next meet-up, and exchange more heart fluttering emails as you smooth out the plans. A few emails later and the plans end up being that you’ll start the evening with catching something to eat on the boardwalk and then you’ll go to the venue for his next concert, meet Taehyung there, chill out in the green room, and then watch the show from front row seats.

The whole plan was unreal to you, unrealistic at its simplest, but you were excited nonetheless. The day came around sooner than expected and soon enough you were picking out the perfect date outfit with your best friend, as well as wondering whether to do pre-game shots to steady your nerves.

“Are you sure you’re ok with this plan, TaeTae?” You ask hesitantly, staring into the mirror and meeting eyes with him across the room.

“Of course I am, I’m just happy I get to see my favourite artist again in concert; never mind be wingman for my favourite girl. It’s extra special when those two events align though.”

Boxy grin on his face, he looks at the ground. “You’re the best, honey bear.” You say and pull him into a befitting bear hug.

“I’ve not heard that name in a while.” He chuckles under his breath and places a firm kiss on the top of your head.

“I know your mum used to call you that when we were little so I thought it fit you; my big honey bear, intimidating to others but so sweet to me.”

You release him from the hug and share a look that holds the bond of a years long friendship. “Right, what’re you going to wear then?” “Shall we coordinate outfits?” Tae asked picking out a camouflage bandana. “You could wear your camo print pants, and I’ll wear this?” He wraps the bandana round his head and fluffs his long dark wavy hair. His change of conversation kickstarts you back into the present reality. After that, you pick out a black sleeveless crop top to go with his advised pants, layered necklaces/chokers, and boots and put them on after you’ve adorned your pants with metallic dangling chains. Once you’re in your grunge get up, you shove your across the shoulder bum bag with any essential item you might need, such as lipstick, tampons, money, etc. and sling it over your back like a quiver. If you need it you’ll have to turn it round but it’s for the aesthetic so you ignore the inconvenience it creates.

A few hours later and you’re driving down the Cali roads in Taehyung’s 60’s Triumph TR6 with the wind in your hair and nirvana blasting on tape. Miles and miles of beach zoom by until you reach the board walk and you don’t stop until you reach the high end sea restaurants built to feed tourists.

Taehyung pulls up by the entrance and lets you out. He looks stunning in the golden sunlight, dark hair glowing amber in the rays. “Don’t have too much fun.” He lifts up his sun glasses before sending you a wink, saluting you goodbye, and driving away.

“See you at 8pm!” You shout over the roaring exhaust. He never turns around but raises a hand in a wave of acknowledgement as he drives away.

You step in to the restaurant to be met with the smell of sea salt and braised steaks. You scan the tables for a familiar face until you see a hand waving over the sides of a booth in the corner.

“Didn’t expect to be seeing you here.” You say coyly, sliding into the booth opposite him.

“Well, you know, I was just waiting for a beautiful girl, but I think I’ve found one who’s more to die for than the desserts here.” He pushes a lock of hair out of his eyes, it has a slight curl to it, even more prominent now that it isn’t as sweaty as when it’s most commonly seen.

“Oh, and who might that be?” You fold your legs and place your hands underneath your chin, looking into his eyes with a smile.

“I believe it’s you, babycakes.” A flush forms on your cheeks and he winks at you.

“So what do you fancy eating tonight? I think I have my eye on something...” He fully takes in your outfit, but you’re not sure his eyes are only on your outfit, maybe this croptop was a good idea after all.

“I don’t know, can you recommend anything? I like things that are creamy.” You reply, batting your eyelashes, feigning innocence.

“I’m sure I’ll be able to whip up something delicious for you, darling.” A waiter comes and starts their opening spiel, this sends fits of giggles through you both.

A date full of getting to know each other, flirty comments, and general adoration for each other later, your cheeks were hurting because of how much smiling you had been doing. JK was so charismatic it hurt.

Soon dinner was over and it was time to make your way over to the venue. Hand in hand you stroll across the board walk to get there. The way the sunlight hits the waves is enchanting and you find yourself stopping to gaze into the bay.

“What’re you thinking about?” He asks whilst resting his hand on the boardwalk railings.

“Everything, nothing... I just keep thinking about how surreal this is, I feel like I’m in a dream. Partially because I’m in the presence of a super gorgeous singer and partially because said singer asked to spend time with me and now I’m on a date with them. If that doesn’t sound like a dream, I don’t know what does.”

You laugh and cover your face. Suddenly you feel two warm hands on yours, peeling them back from your face. When you open your eyes you are met with Jungkook’s emoting doe eyes looking back at you.

“I completely understand, I have felt the same before, like reality isn’t the same, or like I’m dreaming; but we’re here now, we’re present, you’re here with me and it’s real.”

He pulls you into a hug, his arms enveloping your body. Most people would feel uncomfortable, especially since you just met Jungkook, however here with him on the boardwalk, in the setting sun, you feel safe. You feel like you are where you’re supposed to be. You stand there hugging him on the boardwalk for what feels like a long time, and then you pull away and grab his hand, continuing the journey once more.

“Thank you Jungkook, that was so comforting, I can’t imagine you’ve been in a similar situation but I really am grateful for being here in your company. Can I ask, when have you felt like this?” You feel his thumb rub small circles into your skin, such a soothing notion.

“I don’t know, from time to time... I guess it’s just the perils of the job. Don’t get me wrong, I love this, it’s what I’ve always wanted to do, but their is just some days where I really do feel disconnected. Show after show, blurring face after face, I’m on a high when I’m on stage but when I come down, I come down, if you know what I mean?” You notice his gaze is on the cracked sun bleached wood of the boardwalk.

“I get that. It must be hard every night to go from having the time of your life, to go back to normalcy once your feet touch backstage. I get that you’re just a normal guy who feels like a normal guy, but when people treat you like a god, it can’t sit right, can it?”

“Yeah, it’s like when I’m up there I’m deified but when I’m at home I’m the farthest thing from likeable.” He’s looking up, eyes turned towards the sky now, you wonder whether he’s doing this to stave off the tears.

“Jungkook, I know I haven’t known you long, but I can guarantee that when the lights are off and you’re home in your pyjamas, you’re just as likeable as the guy with the heavenly voice on the stage. I’m not saying this as a fan, I’m saying this as someone who wants to get to know you better, to see you when you’re not on stage, when you think you’re unlikeable, and to be able to tell you all the reasons why you’re so so likeable and worth so much more than you realise. No one is worthy of being deified, but you are certainly worthy of feeling loved.” You squeeze his hand tight in your palm to reassure him.

“Would you be the one to love me?” He turns to you and looks you in your shocked eyes. His are softened and tear filled. “I am not adverse to that... however could I maybe get to know you a little better first?” you say back, as lovely as this boy is, and no matter how much you wanted to love him, you couldn’t really say that yet.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so stupid, sorry for that, why would I ask that on the first date? What the hell? But also yes yes that’d be amazing. I’m so sorry though.” His cheeks flush and you can tell a mile off that he’s flustered, he’s still cute though. You giggle in return, “You’re too cute.”

And so you continue along the board walk, hands clasped together, you both make your way to his next show.

𖣔 𝖳𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗈 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀! 𖣔

𝖫𝖾𝗍 𝗆𝖾 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽

𝖽𝗋𝗈𝗉 𝖺 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀, 𝗂𝗍'𝗌 𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺𝗉𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽!

[kissmymongoose]

My nasturtium had its first bloom a few days ago. I have a random marigold that volunteered in here, and I definitely went overboard with the bean seeds. Once the deer started eating them I panicked and put lots of seeds to accomodate lost plants, but they have pretty much all decided to tough it out. Im so happy they are recovering, and i hope the spacing doesnt hinder their growth.

I picked my first ripe strawberry of the year. Gwen has had one already and i had one that was severely stunted and malformed from transplant shock. I usually clip the blooms off when i plant, but they were just doing so good i didnt with the seascape strawberry. And other than the one malformed fruit, it is doing amazing! I gave my ripe strawberry to Adon, and he was very excited about it 💕

We have been picking wild blackberries for around 5 days now, the tame ones arent ripe yet, but they are getting there 😁 Gwen is so awesome, Tuesday at granny's, her 3yo. cousin was there and she immediately ran to him and asked if he wanted to get blackberries! Then she showed him where they were, taught him when they are ripe, and picked him some to start off. Then, anytime he couldnt get one easily, she would carefully get them for him 😍 gwen can be a little bad butt at times, but I am unconditionally proud of her, and who she is, and all that she has already accomplished. She and Adon both have such sweet and kind hearts. I am so proud to be their mama. Those two goober gooses are my whole world! Gwennie has a check up tomorrow, and she will have to get a finger prick, I know she will be tough, and I really want to get her a cheap box or 2 from the dollar store, so she can put her cards in one and her girly stuff in another. The boxes are between a dollar and 6 dollars, and theyre pretty cute. They have different sizes and styles as well.

I need to straighten up. You know, make the beds, take the trash out, and sweep. Maybe even mop. But my back and neck are NOT having that right now. I couldnt even walk through the garden comfortably. Sitting hurts, standing hurts, laying down hurts. Bleh. Im fine though. I could do some stretches. But i really think ill wait another hour for the sun. Im just gonna pull something if i do it while its still chilly out. I mean, technically i could do a quick warm up, but im in agonizing pain.

On a brighter note, I am wearing my new camo overalls today and they are mighty cute if I do say so myself. And i do say so. 😎

Im thinking about grabbing the picnic blanket, going to a semi shaded spot in the garden, and bringing my GBA, a book, my phone for music, and a snack or something- and just spending the next like 5 hours up there.

I think ill clean out the picnic cooler and just stash everything in there with out ice or anything. Ill have to post a pic of our picnic cooler soon. Its super cute and it was under 20 dollars! Plus it rolls and can hold like 30 or 40 something cans. Basically its twice the size of my last one, and it rolls lol. Now, last years cooler can be commited to being our crabbing cooler, and the picnic cooler will be for fresh ice, snacks, and drinks. Plus, the crabbing cooler can fit on the top of the picnic cooler and i can just roll them both 😁

I know im getting boring with this post, i just have a lot of silly stuff on my mind today.

Pretty sure today is my poppas birthday. I try to tune that sort of information out when possible. Becuase i really cant deal with it. Yesterday we went to lunch and were discussing my brothers seizures with my SIL. I noticed when they mentioned biting the tongue that my granny got quieter. She and I were the only ones there when my poppa died. He had an anuresym, but also seized during it, and my granny and i had to try to get his mouth open because blood was pouring out of his mouth where he had almost bit through his tongue. He vomited, then seized, then died. Me and granny both got a bit quieter, and she didnt look up after that point of the conversation. And of course we didnt bring it up. I mean, how would they have known how vivid that detail has been. That for months after he died i would see him seizing and bleeding every time i closed my eyes. Anyway... I cant imagine how my granny feels. I loved my poppa like he was my daddy, but that was her husband, and for her, that was her hero.

Well, i think i just found a source of part of my current stress. 😳😥

Gotta love trauma. And see, I tried a therapist. But rather than just listen to me, he wanted to prescribe me a bunch of dumb shit. I tried the drugs and they didnt help, they made me physically sick. But that was the only help i would be offered. I have panic attack disorder, and the motherfucker wanted me to take antidepressants, even though im not depressed, knowing good damn well that a side effect of said anti depressant, is DEPRESSION. 😡 he just woukdnt listen, it was drugs or nothing, so i stopped seeing him, and left an unpaid balance. I do not plan to pay. Anyway. Lots of shit on my mind, and i have no energy for today.

I really hope gwens feild trip is today and not tomorrow.

[stinkfacestories]

Stinkface Stories: Total KnockOut

Featuring: Kevin Owens, Big Show

The service elevator ran the length of the building; from the sub basement to the penthouse and everything in between. The staff used it because it was easier than taking the stairs and the talent used it because it ran directly from the gym to the suites. It wasn’t uncommon for a  PA to be riding up with coffee and contracts to have one or two slick slabs of sweaty wrestler squeeze in headed to change or go run through a routine in the practice ring.

“You can’t,” Big show said. He pressed the button to summon the elevator. He was wearing dark blue sleeveless shirt. He wa quite the imposing sight: giant,bald, big bushy beard.

“Come on, I’m telling ya, I can do it. It will really give me boost you know?” Kevin Owens, though nearly a foot shorter than Big Show, stood next to him also waiting for the elevator, They had been working out together all week. He cut quite the figure too. A little pudgier, just as big a beard. His grey t-shirt emblazoned with the letters ‘K.O’  was near black with sweat.

The elevator opened and a thin looking PA looked up, wide eyed at the two. The other runners had always joked about who would be the worst pair to be forced to ride up with, and out of all the possible combinations, Big Show was always one of the pair. The elevator itself was not nearly as big as the ones in apartment buildings. Two normal sized people would have an uncomfortable ride, let alone a giant, his fat sweaty friend and a 9-5’er.

“Hey there,” Big Show said kindly as he stepped in. The box groaned in protest but the floor held. He turned his back and wedged himself into the opposite corner, though his massive frame still covered half the width. When Owens joined him taking up the other side the PA was pressed practically nose to back with the two. The doors closed as the fourth passenger made their presence known: the hot body odor wafting off the two of them. It filled the compartment like a thick fog. The two wrestlers either didn’t notice, or didn’t care. The PA was barely able to hold his breath.

“Maybe I could just do it once and see how it goes. Then we can make a decision” Owen spoke up, the first to break the silence.

“You can’t finish with a Stinkface, there’s a tradition with it. Unless you wanna quit and do house shows in high schools for the rest of your life, then you gotta follow the rules.”

“What rules? Its sticking your ass in some guys face for fun, what rules can there be?” Owens said.

The PA heard the word ‘ass’ and looked down at the two of them. Two big ones right in front of him. Each were covered in some dark shorts; The Big Show’s were a camo pattern, very tight, almost painted on. His ass was like two monster boulders crashed together. Owens were looser, solid black, athletic--slick and shiny. He was a bit rounder. The globes of his ass were bubbly, jiggling slightly every time the elevator would jostle just a little bit.

“We don’t have time for this man, when the time comes I’tall happen.” Big Show said.

“Time? We need time?” Owens looked at the panel in front of him. He opened a small door revealing a large red lever marked ‘Emergency Only’. He grabbed at it and turned it. Turned it so far and so hard that it broke off in his big thick hands. The elevator jerked and sputtered to a halt, somewhere between the floors.

“Hey man, what the hell did you do that for?” Big show said

“Are we stuck? What happened?” The PA said, trying to see between the two walls of flesh in front of him.

“I figure we have at least an hour before they send people to get us, maybe longer for them to get us out of here. So now we have time for you to tell me just what rules and qualifications I need to finish a match with a Stinkface,” Owens said. He thumped at Big Shows arm, punctuating his point.

“Stinkface?” The PA said.

“Yeah, Stinkface. I want to start using it in my routine. I think my crowds would love it.”

“You couldn't have left me get off before you got of stuck? Can this thing hold you two? Is there enough air?”

“Hey ho, quite up now,” Big Show said. “It’s done now so no use complaining. Having you here will work out fine. We can get some outside perspective on the matter.” He looked down at Owens “So tell me. Why do you think you deserve to do this Stinkface?”

Owens smiled. “Well, look at me man. I think the crowds would love it. I’m like a smaller version of you. Got the big beard, pretty thick. Wouldn't they think it was funny if I sat my big ass on some jobber?”

“Well, you stumbled in the first requirement. You gotta have an ass. I know you can be an ass, but that dont mean that you got one. The crowds don’t want to see just any flat-ass guy pinning someone in the corner. They want to see someone with some real powerful haunches smother a guys face; that’s why Me and ‘Kishi are so good at it. So… do you really have the ass?”

Owens reached back and punched his own ass, the big thing trembled before the smaller PA. “Hell yeah man. I got one. You see this thing? I avoid doing too much work on it because I want it to be big, but I don’t want it to be to hard. Know what I mean?” He peered behind him at the PA. “You got a good view, tell the guy about it.”

“What?”

“Tell Big Show how my ass looks like it would be great to give a stinkface”

“I don’t think Im really the best to ask--”

“Come on now play nice,” Big Show piped up “We might be here a while so just be helpful. Tell the guy if you think his ass is good enough to stinkface a guy.”

The PA looked back at Kevin Owens’ ass. It wasn't something he would want to tangle with.

“I’t looks..good I guess?”

“Come on guy,I need more than that get in there” Big Show said.

Owens obliged and reached back and grabbed the guys hand and put it on his ass. “See,” he said. “Feel how its just the right mix of soft and firm. Plenty of room for a face right?”

“Yeah sure, it’s like sweaty bread dough,” The PA said

“Amature. It’s not the Stinkhand Owens.” Big show shoved Kevin and he went stumbling backwards. Flailing to keep his balance, his ass slammed into the back of the elevator; the poor PA’s face between his cheeks. Owens blubbery cheeks engulfed his face, wrapping from ear to ear. One could only imagine the smell that he must have suffered. It may have only lasted a moment, but when the beefy wrestler leaned forward and looked behind him at what he had done, the PA’s face looked as if it had looked as if it had been wedged in there for an hour. He was in shock. His face was splattered with sweat; as was the wall behind him.

“Well shit,” Big show said. “I was wrong about you K.O. That right there is the sign of a good Stinkface. The look of horror, disbelief.”

“How was it?” Owens asked the PA.

“ Uhg…” He just wiped his face.

“Good? Bad? Come on we need words dude,” Big show said. He leaned down a little “Or do you need another, longer, go to form an opinion?” He raised his eye and gave a grin.

Wet, cold, but also hot. Silent”

“Awesome,” Owens said

“And the smell?”

“Didn't inhale, thank god” The PA said.

“You didn't smell? Your face was buried and you didn’t smell?” Big Show rolled his shoulders and slapped Owens on the shoulder. “He didn’t smell. How are we supposed to judge how good it was if at the end of the day he didn’t take a sniff.”

“Im sure its bad,” The PA said. “This is a pretty small space. You can’t smell it already? It reeks in here.”

Kevin sniffed at his pits. “I smell nothing.”

Big Show sniffed too “Me either. We were in that Gym for along time. Your noses is the only one that knows. So go on smell it and tell me how it is”

“Whoa, Show you sure that’s a good idea?” Owens pipped in. “Trust me when I say that’s a pretty dangerous area back there. Might not be safe to go in and sniffing around.”

“ Ill pass,” The PA said. “I can smell it from here. I give it a 9/10 on the bad scale.”

“Not good enough for me pal,” Big show said. “Who knows what your smelling. Could be me. Only way to go is to get up in there and take a big sniff. Owens assume the position.”

Kevin turned and put his hands against the wall, spreading his legs ever so slightly, like he was preparing to be frisked. His ass was begging for someones face at that point.

“No way. You can just take my word on it.”

Big show grumbled. “Your choice pal: You can either take a big sniff of Owens, or you can be sniffing my ass  from now till the fire department gets here. And my ass don’t play nice.”

Kevin gave a short laugh, his ass jiggling with it “Aint that the truth; take the easy way out guy.”

The PA had no real option. Given the choice between the two asses, he opted for the less violent of the two.  

“Where should I, you know.. Target?”

“Right where the back turns into the ass, if your a chicken-- right in the blast zone if your a real man.”

“Blast zone?” Owen looked over his shoulder at Big Show

“You know,” Big Show blew a raspberry “Blast zone”

Owens laughed “Oh man, I get it. I should get some underwear that says that”

The PA swallowed

“So what’s your choice?” Big Show asked

“What’s the current.. Blast danger I guess?”

“... rising with each passing second bro, so the quicker the better”

The PA leaned in, settling somewhere not quite as high as the back, but a fair share north of the blast zone. He was less than an inch away. He could feel the head radiating on his face.

“Keep that mouth closed,and give it a good 30 seconds. I don't want you cheating and holding your breath”

The rank odor of Owens ass was powerful. It filled the PAs nostrils. It burned. If he were lucky it may have destroyed his sense of smell right then and there and he would be done with it. But nevertheless it kept on stinking.

“When's the last time you took a shower K.O” he asked

“What day is it now?”

“Saturday,” Big Show said

“Easy: Late Friday Night”

The PA took another wiff

“...you mean yesterday?”

Owens counted on his fingers “.. no..I think it was three or so Fridays ago.

“And when did you wash these shorts last?”

“Wash them? These are workout shorts. You don’t wash them. I just shove them in my gym bag.”

Big Show laughed. “So that’s why they call you K.O, everyone who gets a wiff gets knocked out. So how is it dude?”

The PA pulled away “Bad. Salty. Hot. I wish I had been knocked out. My eyes were burning”

Owens gave a thumbs up “Thats two for two. So I can stinkface guys now?”

“Not yet. One final qualification: The gimmick.”

“The gimmick?” Owens said

“Gimmick?” the PA said. “I thought the stinkface was the gimmick.”

“Don’t we wise. Everyone who does the stinkface does their own little twist.”

“Oh yeah,” Owens said. “Like how ‘Kishi hikes up his thong, or does it bare ass?”

“What do you do then?” The Pa asked Big Show.

“I fart.”

The PA groaned and turned away

Owens laughed. “Thats real? I thought that was a joke. You really do that when you give a stinkface?”

“Yeah. Every time.”

“Who does that? Why would you even do that. It’s not like the crowd can tell. Your big but I don’t think you could.. Do that...loud enough for the cameras to pick up” The PA said.

Big Show loomed over the PA, forcing him to one of the corners. He pointed his big finger down at the guy. “First off, if you wanna find out how loud I can fart all you have to do is ask and I’ll be real happy to give you a demonstration. Second it’s not for them. Its for me, and for the tradition.”

The PA groaned again

“I could do that too!” Owens interrupted

“You could?”

“Yeah. I never ripped one in front of you? I swear I must have. Haven't I?”

“Think you could work one up now?”

Kevin scrunched up his big bearded face, grunting a little as he closed one eye. “Yup. There it is. All loaded. I was gonna drop it in my Uber on the ride home but I can drop it here.”

“But were in an Elevator. A tiny, tiny elevator” The PA said. Both Owens and Big Show looked at him like he was speaking some alien language. “So?” they both said

“That’s like the only elevator rule. You don’t do that in an elevator.”

“I do.” Big Show said.

“Same. A lot.” Owens said.

“In fact I dont think Ive ever ridden an elevator without farting in it.” Big Show said.

“Fine. Just.. let me get out of the way.” The PA slide as far in the corner as possible, leaving Kevin on the opposite side.

“This is a stinkface test though. K.Os bringin the stink, you gotta supply the face.”

“What? No way! Not this time” The PA said.

Big Show had enough. He reached out and grabbed the guy by the shoulder, effortlessly sliding him forward. Big Show leaned back against the wall, his arm pinning the smaller man in place.

“Hey let me go!” He said

“You’re free to try, but bigger men than you have failed.”

Owens turned around and began to back up slowly.

“Hey K.O. Why not try out both. Maybe that can be your thing”

“Both?” He said

“Yeah. Drop them draws.”

K.O slid his shorts down. Like the rising sun, his pale ass light up the room. It was glimmering from the sweat. The first thing everyone notices was how hairy it was.

“Damn K.O even your ass has a beard. You ever think about getting that thing waxed?” Big Show said.

“Tried it once, but they said they didn't have enough wax and wanted to charge me three times the regular price.”

Owens backed up even more. Soon the PAs chin was resting on the dark valley that was Owens ass. He backed up even more and he could feel the weight of the two fat globes pressing him into Big Shows gut.

“Come on guys. Show. Big. Big Show. Tell him to call it off. He doesn't want to do this. You can stop him”

“Let’s see: Hey K.O”

“Yeah Big?” Owens looked over his shoulder. Lining up his ass for the best stinkface possible.

“You sure you wanna rip one in this guys face?”

“Sure do Big,” Owens said.

“There, all settled. Go on blast away K.O. Hell I think I might give him one after.

“Come on you can’t do-mpf--”

Big Show pressed the PAs head down so that everything save his eyes were pressed into Kevin’s hairy crack. He was really tasting the musky, sweat soaked forest of hair. Kevin was braced like a centerlinemen, ready to snap the ball.

“Here,” He grunted out. Half of his face was scrunched up. “Comes. The knock Out..Ahh..”  His ass erupted in a deep and vibrating blast. The bassy rip reverberated throughout the elevator, shaking even Big Show to the core. Owens went slack jawed. His mouth open almost drooling on the floor. “ Puuunnnch…...aw man now that Felt great.”

The PA’s eyes rolled back in his head as he was forced to breath in every once. He coughed, but that only forced him to breath in Owens Ass through his mouth. His senses were completely overwhelmed. He could see nothing but Owens hairy ass, smell nothing but his meaty fart, taste the salty hairs of his crack, feel the flapping and giggling of his cheeks on his face, and hear Big Show and Owens laugh.

And it wasn't even over

Owens hoisted up one leg and propped it on the wall behind him. He cocked to one side and let out another, less intense but longer sputtering fart. “It’s like a flood gate. Once you break the seal all the rest just wanna slip out”

The PAs eyes rolled back even further. The sloppy blast had done him in. With one final sniff his body went limp and he passed out.

“Damn K.O, you really earned that name.”

‘Hell yeah!” Owens pumped the air. “This means i’m in right. I can do the stinkface on my opponent's right?”

“Not quite.”

“What? Come on Show, I practically melted this guys face off. I can do it!”

“Oh you can do it all right. But you can't do it on stage till someone gives it to you.”

“Wait you mean I have to…”

“Thats right.”

Just then the elevator jerked back into motion. Big show reached over and pressed the button for the floor with the practice stage.

“I’ll see you in the ring, Owens”

[lildirtbike-blog]

At least you're not my problem any more I don't care bout you so why you worried about me Starbound You niggas ain't got shit on me You can leave but you can't forget You can't forget us It's 3 AM and im thinking about you My niggas been with me since day one My nigga I been a1 since day 1 So pretty but but so hard to catch Shooters on deck all of em boba fett yah I wanna bih I just want a bitch Got ny shades on in the club All of my shootas wearing camo so you won't see shit coming I honestly just wish I could be, like you I make money not friends Bih we do not play pretend I wouldn't have you any other way I swear I love every single inch of you Like why you worried bout me hoe mind ya own damn business Id love you any fucking way You was rubbing your fat little ass on my dick I let you be you and you let me be me She cuddle me harder, I gave in With her i never win She the only one that knows my sins Fuck what they say i'm the best Truth is I always liked you more I know I fall in love too quick, but this time I think it's real I see a little bit of me in you and a little bit of you in me I wanna play with you I done waited way too long for this You niggas played enough it's my time Feeling fine I'm feeling Feeling fine I'm feeling myself I'm feeling myself Homeboi a shooter Tagteam on my tutor Shawty go down for the team Touch her you gon bleed I want us to be something more Get off work so I can love you We could've got caught but that only makes shit more fun You might be the one Tear down her walls I kinda feel bad for the next nigga I gave you my heart now it doesn't even beat I'mma have to pick up every broken piece I'm with my bae she so poppin Hop out da coupe everybody stopping I wanna spoil you Ou damn she like sneakers more than me Got yo bitch on lock With my glock You're my heaven You make everything seem alright For s moment until I open my eyes I just wonder how high we can gouuo I don't just wanna fuck I also just wanna make you mine I know this shit take time But just rolllll with it But gooo with it I still see you when I open my eyes And I swear, these niggas talk to you just to talk about you All they want to know is how much you are of value I'm in the mood for taking a nigga bitch He don't care about you He don't treat you right You don't know what you do to me So nice to look at even better to touch/fuck I'd give you the world if I could too I'd give you everything if I could too I'm sorry if I upset you We ain't getting any further Fuck you/blow out your back and kiss on her freckles After cuddle the fuck out you and eat fruity pebbles I wanna cuddle the out of you I just wanna know you Fuck them other niggas they don't deserve you Stomp a nigga out in my Jordans shit I let my girl get too thick I mean there's just something about her What's happening to me unknown powers We talked for hours Hide n seek They/you don't even know my like that I won't cry over you I want you now I miss you so fucking much I'm so damn impatient But you're so damn important Leave that nigga he a loser and you know that It's wrong but it feels so right I'm sorry I'm too indecisive I can't choose Is it you or is it you I do it all for you So what you wanna do Do you even love me anymore? A lot can change in a year I wonder were we're going from here He don't even deserve you I got a lot on my mind She said she was thinking about a kid I'm like shiit Then she said she wanted to know what it would be like I'm like psych You get me/ the most You're the only one that gets me Sorry in advance if I get clingy Don't give a fuck about what they say they say I chase bags not bitches Rags to riches I chase money not bitches cuz all that shit will come later I wish I never opened up to you because you're just going to use it against me anyways I don't wanna wake up from this dream Now I gotta clean up the mess you made Fuck trying to fit in/ fitting in Why does my heart still beat for you when you destroyed it? Why you so worried bout me mind yo business You live in my head You live in my head Even though you probably want me dead I need you to pray for me cause nobody else is Whats it like on the other side Fuck them other guys Being with you is bliss even in the silence Tell me is there a bright side to all of this? I don't think I'll ever get over you Why do I feel this way You make my bad days better Strangers - Accin like you don't know me that was my fear Now we're just strangers Back to square one I was just a fool in love It wasn't even love You were my angel Now you can burn in hell You really weren't shit Going my own way Doing shit my way fuck what they say She said be gentle I said I'll try Oooh she make me nervous I'm tryna make you mine I'm running outta time You know better than to come around here Bitch niggas on my back Get the strap She knows what she's doing Killing it with my bestie/best friend I'm tryna be my best me Iloveeverythingaboutyou You know how to get under my skin I miss you already I'm trying I really am I'm holding on Hold on Bear with me I'm picking up the pieces Just let me know how you feel Be real I see/saw you in my dreams You were the only one for me It just keeps on going and it never stops Life's what you make it Don't take shit for granted I'm just tryna make it out alive I just want a bitch that get my vibe She's trouble/ but I don't mind Hate only makes me go harder All we know is bands can you really blame us? Keep a thang up in my camo pants bitch you can't tame us She sat on my lap She jumped on my dick almost bent that shit She gave me head relieve me from my stress For a little while, straight outta work and she undress (Daddy's bday flow hook) I go hard for you you go hard for me I can be anything you want me to be I want to kiss ur freckles She sent me nudes ion even know her tho Bitches talk and talk I'll be here when you come home Don't know why she got so wet Ion even think I did shit All she did was see me Split her like a kiwi She called me her husband Shawty I ain't buying no ring Kill4me Would you kill for me? Keep it real I miss/the smell of your skin I need someone who's on my level You moved on but im still here Still ain't gonna waste my tears You was just using me to pass the time You was just using me to fill a void You're my favorite part/the best parts Cuz mama told me no no no no I fucked her first you was kissing Dip on a bitch and go missing I got some Molly she itching Young Ramsay with the wrist in the kitchen Girl don't play with me Bitch don't play with me yah I'm trying not to get to used to you Cuz they always leave Just/not for you And I forget how to breathe when I see/with you Ooh you make my mouth water I can't explain it I just can't explain it Just love me honestly Love me responsibly Keep it real Im hungry for you I'm hungry need some food What do I gotta prove You cannot come to the crib I want more I want more I want more You know I gotta have it Bad habits I love her flaws and all She love me flaws and all You never tell me you love me anymore They think I'm crazy for loving you But I don't care / Jason Joseph Password : lilnibba666 Apple ID : lildirtbikeboi@gmail.com Password : lilnibba6 / Eyes - Brad Pitt, X Nose - Billie Eilish, Cindy Kimberly Forehead - Mehki Alante, X Jawline - / Eyes - Brad Pitt, X Nose - Billie Eilish, Cindy Kimberly Forehead - Mehki Alante, X Jawline - / Shorty gave me top in the movies Put frosting all on her boobies Reach under the seat grab the toolie For any nigga tryna act a foolie Fuck what they say I'm doing shit my own way I could do this shit all day Tear that ass up when we stressed Straight outta work made the biggest mess Fuck what they say I'm the best Well these niggas plottin i know that I ask () where the fuck that pole at You don't got cheese but you still a rat I'm doing shit my own way Nigga get fold like clothes / You can't catch me Nigga you can't catch me ( 21 Savage - X melody) Oh that's your girl she fuck with me Oh that's your girl think imma keep Pull up mobbin 30 deep Talk your shit send you to sleep Hop straight out the fucking jeep Hit up yo bitch then i dunk Bitch im dualied up, pop the trunk Nigga you lame you a chump We got lotsa bricks, we got lotsa skunk Its not for the using tho Shawty be a lil hoe, but she always stay ten toes We smoked dope then hit the store Dicked her down she want some mo Bitch ill flex on the pope Chop a kilo McDonalds I feel like Pablo / You know my boys gon go all out You niggas gonna know Pull up you home alone Air force 1s on my toes Whipping foreign like im grown Whipping foreign like im grown Main bitch whip the stove Side bitch whip the pole Whipping foreign like im grown Whipping foreign like im grown / White converse white socks Plaid long sleeve shirt down to shoulders Black spaghetti strap crop top Black shorts or skirt Dark skin Asian or Hispanic White Nike tennis shoes Long white Nike socks Black shorts Black hoodie Black Nike hat Pink hat Blonde long kinda wavy hair Black shorts White label shirt White Nike tennis shoes / Them drugs hit the spot Kiss me in that spot Them drugs hit the spot Kiss me in that spot Pull up finnesse on the whole lot Some feelings were caught Won't hold back on you tonight Get at my baby you might meet yo plight Won't hold back on you tonight Get at my baby you might meet yo plight / You changed you don't love me in the same way You changed We don't fuck just like we used to You changed you don't love me in the same way You changed We don't fuck just like we used to You changed Nothing will ever be the same If you don't love me no more you could've just said it I made you happy at least give me some credit We ain't getting further Cuz I ain't tryna hurt her Your love was just a lie Do you got better niggas on the side? I can see it in your eyes You switched up you changed sides You changed you don't love me in the same way You changed We don't fuck just like we used to You changed you don't love me in the same way You changed We don't fuck just like we used to You changed Nothing happens when I touch you there Shit got cold I can feel it in the air / Remember when we stayed up all night That was the best night Promise ill always be by your side But baby will you be by mine Ijusthopeshitwillturnoutright