#is cybird someone on tumblr or like a company

[axvwriter]

For the fun of it I thought about if any of my ocs check all these marks. Reminded me of how I tend to make a lot more gals than guys. Also just made me wonder if it has to be human- Which made me realize that sounds really odd and potentially sus without explanation. Most of my characters are monsters/aliens that are human-like. (Like all those characters in Wander Over Yonder.)

-Comfortable silence

I think a good amount of my guys are capable of that.

-Aesthetic ✨

Has made me realize that I don’t usually think about how good my characters are with asthetics. Technically I have at least three that should be good with it considering they’re basically performers. Not sure that two of them would care to take it to their casual wear though?

-Intelligent 📚

I do have several dudes that be intelligent. Though I have one in particular that is smart, like he’s a doctor, but he fails with coming up with good jokes. Do these men have to be socially/emotionally intelligent too? I suppose doctor technically fits that too considering what he be doing, but not sure it would be with flying colors considering his mess of a relationship.

-Suffered unimaginable horrors (or well imaginable hardships because if it’s unimaginable then how does one describe it? Maybe I need further explanation…)

I’m uncertain how to qualify any of them for this… though I do think I have several that do pass for this?

Only one man really matches all of these.

Aelius Sun.

A man who is only close to his brothers and refuses to get close to anyone else. Not only because he’s not that sociable, but mostly because he and his brothers have been cheating death.

Grew up as a performer so should know his aesthetics. He’s considered the smart one out of his brothers and has been the one to figure out what he and his brothers are doing. Constantly studied spells and still puts a good amount of time into the pursuit of consuming libraries gaining knowledge.

He’s not that talkative and does enjoy peace and quiet. As for the unimaginable horrors he may or may not have faced… well I’m not sure how much I want to keep to myself or actually let slip. Though that’s me thinking of an important event. Basically his life, before cheating death, is a bit of a horror? Grew up in a world where bloodthirsty monsters way outnumbered the entire human population. Being a member of one of the five families capable of magic, he’s responsible for keeping people alive. His family played a more defensive role, yet he would go with some of his family to fight back any duberios (creatures for simplicity sake as of right now) getting a little too close to the Sun Kingdom.

I know this is probably Auburn talking about characters from games, but I thought it would be fun to consider if I have any characters that fit. Just see if I’m unknowingly lacking in considering anything for my characters. Which I now know is considering their aesthetic sense. Which makes me wonder if I have enough myself to actually give it to any of them. (But I’ll wing it if I don’t. Have to do that for my super smarties already.)

If this is a really weird thing to do, let me know Auburn and I’ll delete this.

cybird hands me a man i could sit in a comfort silence with, a man that has a good sense for aesthetics, a man that is intelligent but isolated by the people around him, a man that has suffered unimaginable horrors, and i grab him faster than the spend of light

[alrunemara]

Perpendicular

Warnings: NSFW/18+: Explicit/vivid imagery— reader discretion is advised.All characters & Ikemen Sengoku owned by Cybird Description: Kyubei and MC (You!) finally find a way to each other. This was inspired by a beautiful work of art done by my most sweet friend Rui. Her Tumblr can be found here: Work By Rui Art links are under the cut: 

The art that spoke to me is here: My Favorite Vassal And the NSFW version is here: Holy Cats

Part 1: Parallel

Only one more day of traveling and they would be back in Azuchi. They had shared stories, laughter and comfortable silence. He looked down at the woman who now napped, her head gently upon his chest. Sleeping without a care in the world. He knew there was another inn they would happen upon soon, and he decided that now was as good time as any to stop so he could get some rest before the final stretch to get home. He pulled on the reins to stop the horse in front of the doors of the inn and looked down at MC. “My lady? I hate to wake you, but we must stop for awhile.”

Sleepy eyes fluttered open from the woman before abruptly sitting up. She blinked and took in the unfamiliar surroundings. “I guess I fell asleep. Are we very close to home?”

His soft smile and quiet voice affirmed that they were close, but that both the horse and he needed to rest after being on the path for hours. The door to the inn slid open and a youthful boy bounded out. After introductions, Kyubei helped MC off the horse, and handed the reins over to have the horse taken care of while the pair went inside. “I only have one room left,” the innkeeper said, bowing apologetically.

“That’s fine. We’ll take it,” brazenly the HC haired woman spoke before she innocently looked up at the man who was stunned into silence.

Handing over coin, the pair followed the innkeeper to a room in the middle of the inn. “My lady, if you’ll allow me to check everything out first please.” He slid the door open and stepped inside to do a thorough check of the room. Satisfied, he drew back the door and gestured to HC. “It’s safe Princess.”

She stepped into the room and looked around and noted that the bedding was folded in the corner. MC crossed the room and picked it up when a knock interrupted the quiet. The innkeeper announced she had brought tea, as Kyubei opened the door to humbly accept the tray, MC set out the bedding.

“Oh let me please!” MC sat across the dark-haired man as he set the tray down. She gracefully poured him a cup and handed it to him before serving herself. “It’s the least I can do for you.” The refreshing liquid warmed her, and she closed her eyes, savoring the taste. “Princess, I take it you like the tea?” Her face blushed pink as EC orbs flew open and Kyubei’s met hers with a smile. MC put her cup down and gestured to the futon, “Yes. I want you to go ahead and sleep. I’ve had a nap, so I’m not even tired. There’s still light out, so I’ll probably read one of the books I see in the corner over there. I can wake you when dinner is served.”

“Oh but my lady, I really shouldn’t-“

“You should and you will. You’re exhausted. I promise I won’t leave this room while you are here. Think of it as me guarding you as you sleep for once.”

He eyed her carefully, not wanting to put her in the position of having to guard him. It was such a foreign concept: someone looking out for him, especially since he was so used to being the one doing the protecting. But they did stop so he could rest, and his body was begging him to do so. Slowly, he nodded his head. “Alright, my lady. But I am going to keep my sword at my side just in case.”

He didn’t undress, nor did he lay on the futon, but beside it. Understandably she was confused and looked at him as she held one of the books in her hand. “I want you to be able to rest comfortably on a clean futon tonight, Princess. I will be fine here.” He turned over and slept then, his sword perched next to his frame. MC took the book and silently crossed the room to be closer to the light.

There she stayed, lost in the book and to time, when a very soft knock came to the door, startling her from her page. Silently, she crossed the room, slid the door open and accepted the tray. After the door shut behind her, she set it down and looked over the simple meal. She looked to the Kyubei, who had stirred out of his slumber and sat up. “Princess?”

“Behind you, Kyubei. Come eat.” MC poured the fresh tea into a cup and offered it to him, and then poured her own. They ate in silence, a comfort to them both, occasionally catching each other’s eyes, with MC blushing and looking to her bowl of rice. Night fell, and she looked at the futon, suddenly self-conscious of the situation. Sensing her apprehensiveness, Kyubei excused himself to do a check of the perimeter of the inn. MC knew he partly did this as a courtesy to her. Dressing down to her yukata, she slipped under the blanket and pulled it to her chin. The silence was deafening. She was uncomfortable being alone when she was always comfortable before. What is this? She wondered. Was it because of this instance of him having to accompany her to the festival? Or was it the number of times she shared in his company? She wasn’t sure. She only knew the room was smaller and dimmer without him in it.

Her thoughts led to when she watched him sleep earlier. Her eyes peeked over the book, and saw his hair gathered over his neck, spilling onto the floor. She wanted to comb her fingers through the dark locks. To caress his cheek. To run her fingers down his chest. Tempting thoughts sent signals tingling through her body, and her hands sought to grab onto a breast while the other parted her yukata to push against the sensitivity of her pearl. A gasp and a moan lifted from her lips, and she drew her thighs tight to attempt to stave off the want of pleasure. Yet she could not hold herself back as she pushed and rubbed her finger lightly over herself, exhaling, while the blanket rubbed along her skin

The shoji slid open, and inside stepped Kyubei. As the screen shut, he watched the lady, tucked into the futon, move her legs slowly, the blanket crawling with the outline of her. He needed to leave. He was interrupting. He turned-

“Kyubei,” her breathy voice broke the air. “Please, I need… you.”

His head swiveled, and his eyes caught hers. The desperation written on her face and the hand reaching out to him was all he needed. This woman he fantasized about called out to him. Mesmerized, he reached out and took her hand, pulling her to sit up. He brought his large hands tenderly to her face. He studied her, his thumbs running over the smoothness of her cheeks. He leaned towards her and touched his lips to hers. Gentle, yet urgently, he touched his tongue between her lips, coaxing them to open for him. MC obliged Kyubei, a moan muffled by their kiss.

She pulled away first. Reflections of him swam in her pools of vision. She brought her hand up to his hair and paused. Boldly, she slowly weaved her fingers into the darkness of it, her eyes flitting from his and to her hand while his finger trailed along her jawline. Pausing, he took her chin in his hand tilting her head toward him. "I apologize my dear lady, but I could not help myself." Eyes glazed over with lust, she gave no answer, instead taking his hand into hers kissing along his fingers and gently wrapping her tongue around one and brought it into her mouth. The erotic act made him hiss. MC smiled to hear his satisfaction.

Slipping his finger from her tongue, his warm hand took ahold of the back of her head and tilted it, while the other tugged on the lady’s yukata to bear her shoulder. His warm lips tenderly kissed just under her earlobe and down to linger on her collarbone, sending an uncontrollable shiver down her spine. “Ah!”

She hungrily pulled at his haori. Kyubei pulled back with a chuckle and swiftly removed the clothing that constrained him. He has the smile of a thousand suns, MC thought as she delicately traced her fingers along the hardened muscles of his torso. She felt the sensation of her yukata’s sash being untied. The rough pads of his fingers traced the ivory cream of her shoulders and down her arms, the yukata slipping off.

He took the time to look at her. Disrobed, she gleamed in the light of the lantern. He felt the shiver of her frame when his hand weaved down her chest. Featherlight touches of both hands traced the outlines of her breasts, rolling over each pink peak. Kyubei felt her body jerk towards him. He looked at her face, cheeks hot, half lidded eyes with want, and her mouth. Pouty and begging.

His lips, soft as petals, kissed the silk of her skin. His tongue found solace and he suckled her. Purring from the sensation, she tangled her hands into his hair, passionately holding him close. His arms enveloped her; warm, strong, and just as needy. His fingers caught the other bud of her bosom, gently pinching it before capturing it in between his teeth. MC threw her head back, hissing a curse under her breath. She felt him smile against her.

Arms released from around her suddenly and his hands met with each side of her face. He moved her head so she faced him. “My lady MC? Is this something you want? Are you certain?” He had to see the answer on her face, hear it from her lips. He watched her nod and heard her whisper. “Yes.” He kissed her slowly and drew her tongue out of hiding to engage him.

MC felt strong arms around her once more, this time, slowly lowering her to the futon, her HC hair splaying across the futon, spilling onto the tatami mat. She looked up to see him hovering over her. A hand reached up and untied his hair, allowing a dark waterfall to shield their faces from the rest of the world. The lady traced her fingers over his collarbone to his shoulders. Were they always this broad? She tenderly touched where his skin held scars. She felt his hand snake down her body, caressing her in a slow, agonizing manner. His knee shifted between her legs, his fingers teased her inner thigh, and she opened up to him.

He could feel her heat emanating. Delicately, Kyubei grazed his fingers along the swell of her and dipped his fingers inside. Her gasp broke the night air. Slowly, he moved his hand, and was met with an impatient thrust of her hips. She shuddered in delight as two more fingers slowly dived inside her. His quickening pace made the woman under him writhe. The pad of his thumb delicately, but rapidly circled her pearl. He felt her hands grasp at him in desperation as her mewling quickly became moans of bliss.

“K-Kyubei, I’m going to---” He felt her squeeze around his fingers and continued to thrust to allow her to ride out her euphoria. Removing his hand, he languidly sucked her sweetness dripping down his hand as she rubbed her thighs together. He looked to see her free hand journeying toward her center.

He gently took her wrist and smiled at her. His low voice whispered, “Princess, allow me to give myself over to you.” Watching her slowly nod, he released her wrist and sat up on his knees to settle himself between her legs. His tip rubbed against the glistening wet heat of her, teasing them both. With a moan, he guided himself slowly, inch by inch, inside.

Her breath hitched as he entered, and she relaxed under him the more he filled her. Ever the gentleman, he gave her time to adjust before he moved against her. The pleasure of feeling him inside was almost unbearable. She bucked herself against him, spurring him to drive into her with quicker thrusts. He watched as she squirmed with delight, eyes shut tight, grabbing the futon in a feeble attempt to keep herself grounded.

She felt a hand trail down her skin. MC opened her eyes and felt an electrifying shock as his thumb gently caressed her bud. MC cried out his name, her hand reaching out to grasp his shoulders to pull him down to her, boldly kissing him as his thumb fondled her relentlessly. Wrapping her legs around him, she panted, “Harder, Kyubei, please! I need you!”

Lifting her hips in hunger, he slammed against her, sweat beading down his body and onto her. He became primal then, digging his fingers into the flesh of her hips, taking pride in hearing the hoarseness of her moans.

“I’m c-coming!” Her grip landed on his back, digging her nails in, causing him to hiss. MC’s legs snaked around him, holding him tight against her.

He too felt his release approaching as he felt her walls constrict around him. Covered in perspiration, he thrust into her one final time, an audible affirmation sealing his satisfaction. Exhausted, he collapsed on her, his hair falling over her face, the only sound was their ragged breathing

Kyubei lifted his head and smiled down at the woman under him. “My princess…

She placed her hot hands on his cheeks and brought his forehead to her lips. “I love you too,” the lady whispered.

Untangling their bodies, they pulled the blanket over their cooling skin, and held each other until they had no choice but to wake up with the sun.

[yooleestruck]

in which lee rambles about how great writers are

I don’t really know what this is. I don’t know if now is the right time to do this, or a really bad time, or if it makes any sense, but I want to talk about it! I feel like a broken record saying ‘the writing matters most, the writing matters most’ but maybe I need to show what I mean by that? So, here is an attempt. 

I’m sorry not all of these are the same length and not everyone is here, because every time I see that someone is a writer I do try to follow but I don’t always know/remember! Also I am weird about this sort of thing and don’t want to tag people in a monster-long post, so I’m just going to link. I also don’t want to make this a producers vs writers thing, it’s not, it’s just, when I say I notice writer-stuff, an explanation of what, specifically, I mean. 

Writers have a style fingerprint. I’m sure someone with an actual creative writing or English background could describe it all academic-ly, but my ex-chemist ass is just going to call it a fingerprint. 

My first game in Lovestruck was Starship Promise - I love Firefly, I’m a bisexual disaster scientist by education, it fit. But I had been REALLY put off by GIL when it first came out (this was back when they released stories in parts? And the heroine, which I will get to) and though I’d glanced at AFK, I mistrusted it after GIL and Medusa, who was who I was interested in, wasn’t out yet. So I resisted a LONG time.  I finally picked up LS and SP and played it explicitly because a friend said, you need to give this another chance, for a list of specific reasons. 

And when Atlas’s route came out, I read it a stupid number of times. I must have re-read his season 1 & 2 at least eight times apiece (he is still my most read route, despite the fact I have not read his last season because I want to leave the story open-ended)  so when I read Neil Dresner’s route, I recognized the fingerprint. Not only that, when I was reading Jett and the episodes with the paint scene (YOU KNOW THE SCENE) came out, my breath caught with how lovely it was, a particular in-between moment and touch, and even though it wasn’t a phrase I had seen, the style of it, had me re-reading (because it was gorgeous) again and again from the log for like five minutes and I thought, “I bet Melissa wrote this” AND SHE DID. 

Physical touch! (& in-betweens)

Melissa-grey has a particular way of writing about physical touch in very emotional moments that is very real and grounded and ironically the effect is just magical. It creates these so skillful “in between” moments, those little things that aren’t dialogue and aren’t metaphor but SHOW you that this closed off person is cracking for their little ray of sunshine. They are SO subtle and so beautiful, like, the heroine noticing the scent of a pillow, or a softening of an aborted hand movement.  She sets up and executes these moments of physical touch as a conduit for emotional touch with characters who aren’t ready to admit he latter and it’s DELICIOUS. Those little in-betweens are what I live for in story - and it includes all the supporting cast moments, who swell up to make the world feel lived in, and balanced (I loathe love stories where no one else exists! That’s a recipe for disaster, people need networks) I noticed when she stopped writing, and because I missed it, I went and bought the entire Midnight Girl series, as well as Rated (I hope that is flattering and not creepy!) and that style of writing is so unique, that without KNOWING, I picked it up in four separate routes (noticed in Sev’s s1, too!) 

Pacing (& friggen heartache)

Another fingerprint! Ripping your heart out! Arthoure has had me in tears, MULTIPLE TIMES and I get very grouchy about it every time because I am the least sentimental and romantic person that I know (I once MOVED STATES to avoid an ‘I love you’ conversation. I once said ‘yikes’ in response to an ‘I love you’ and I once broke up with someone because I thought he was going to propose. I’m a bitch) but I think it’s because of pacing! I know that producers play a role in that, but that actually makes it more impressive, because making each bit of story feel like it fits precisely the amount of space it needs when you don’t really get a say in how much space that is has got to take a MASSIVE amount of effort. Every little hint, every emotional beat, every character tell, they drop at a consistent build so the emotional payoff is just brutal (in a good, cathartic way?) every time a route makes me cry I wait and see and YEAH ITS ALWAYS ARTHOURE. The sweep and sentiment of Remy’s season 2 is unparalleled. Across Time is gutwrenching, and I actually stopped reading Renzei at one point because I was so emotional over it I had to like, LEGIT TAKE A BREAK to recover. Pacing and heartache. I have to stop and wonder - is it because the routes themselves are so gut-punching? OR is it because she knows how to wring every last emotional drop out of whatever story framework is handed to her? Because, Ezekiel’s villain costume is a bit silly (there I said it, it is) I get the cobra helmet shape in theory but in practice, ooof, but POINT BEING despite being skeptical I’d be able to take his story seriously as a result, I was hiccuping from crying so much (and I am gosh darn adult, in my thirties, with three degrees and a high-stress job at pretty major company. I DON’T CRY EASY)

 Dialogue (& heroines!)

Xekstrin is the gosh damn master of dialogue. Clever, witty banter that doesn’t go where you expect it to, meandering but natural topic changes that are delightful to follow and feel real, and--special shoutout for this, okay--the navigation of viscerally important topics like consent, kink, self-worth, power in relationships, self-sacrifice, and apologies in a way that is not stilted or forced at all (listen, I know Viv & Lyris are the most recent and they are amazing but I remember this first hit me when I was reading Astraeus, and I spent half the route with my jaw on the floor going, oh shit,  oh shit. The communication! The navigation of the complexity of emotion going on, chef’s kiss! Casual isn’t the right word, but, natural, maybe?). I don’t actually take that many screenshots of the app--it’s usually single lines that get me--but when I do, they are almost always conversations from one of her routes, because they’re so damn good, and often so unexpected, and yet always make such perfect sense for the characters involved. Dialogue is SO HARD OKAY. Actually try and transcribe a conversation sometime, it’s nuts how people talk vs how most people write people talking. Xekstrin also writes some of my absolute favorite MCs, and going back to fingerprints, I was reading Lyris s1 and right there in the first tavern scene, as we were following along with the heroine’s thoughts I went, ah, yes, I know who you belong to and I am SO EXCITED. Being able to give the heroine unique thoughts and quirks, to make her genuinely relatable, without overriding the necessary template of the genre dictates, is a skill all of its own. But I love her MCs! There is a beautiful balance of compassion, competence, and dash of bratty, wild, fun mischief. I can actually cheer for them. I can actually get behind them. I WANT the love interest to flop at their feet for who they are, not just because the story says so. And that comes from how the heroine’s thoughts are written, from her phrasing in conversations, how she sees situations, not just a producer saying ‘she is a strong lead who is self conscious about her ears and she’s nervous in the council meeting’ or whatever. I AM REALLY STRUGGLING to articulate this if you can’t tell from how long I have been blathering. Maybe this - the heroine is the same across every route, presumably, yes? Everyone has the same base. I NEVER question, when xekstrin is writing, why the love interest falls in love with her. Side note - I had hard written off GIL after a bad experience with the standalone app. I only read Aurora BECAUSE I learned she wrote it, and I would have SO MISSED OUT otherwise.

A complete aside in which Lee grumbles about heroines and not writers!

(Complete side vent: Often, the heroine is, if not a blank slate, a sort of collection of assigned traits, and she often remains so unless the story demands she become otherwise. Which is fine! I don’t personally, but I know a lot of folks self-insert, and so erring towards that makes sense. Almost all the otome I’ve played were originally written for a Japanese audience. When I played original Voltage games, starting back in 2014, I always had to remind myself - different culture, different culture, different culture, and it was not possible for me to relate to most of the heroines. I still enjoyed the stories, but I rarely cheered for the heroine’s romance, especially in some of the slice of life stories. I understood her, but I rarely wanted her to get with the love interest, I wanted her success to come in other ways! Another game company, Cybird, tried to ‘Americanize’ their heroine to IMO disastrous effect - it was such a stereotype, and made no sense since they didn’t also Americanize the context, so she come across as, frankly, ridiculous. And frankly, Voltage’s GIL heroine REEKED OF THAT. When they first posted her on social media I was legitimately annoyed about it, like could you lean into this more? I think not. So when I talk about being able to relate to and cheer for the heroine, it’s a big deal, because my blatant mistrust of Voltage and their ability to craft a heroine I could tolerate was a BIG factor in how long it took me to give Lovestruck a try. I was willing to tolerate it in translated stories, I was so skeptical of -en only ones.) 

Metaphors (& balance)

literacouture writes beautiful metaphors for connection between humans! I’m really bad at keeping track of who writes what, but I purposefully kept an eye out on tumblr after reading Cal’s route, because there were some lines that were pure poetry, and I wanted to keep an eye out for more. It is HARD to spin metaphors prettily without delving into trite, painful, purple prose cringe territory, and it’s navigated beautifully in Cal’s route. There’s a balance between those spin-out moments and things that are tangible and anchoring and make it feel authentic and unique to the two characters involved, instead of just ‘I am trying to make this sound romantic and this is a romantic phrase so here it is’. That balance is really necessary. You NEED the mundane alongside the metaphor or it doesn’t feel authentic. Also. Trying really hard to write this without throwing any authors or producers under the bus, but...listen. I love Sin with Me. But the world logic (or LACK THEREOF) drives me up a wall. I don’t read Cal because of his character traits or sprite or (sigh) his story. I read him because literacouture writes a beautiful romance.

 So anyway...

There are more! When I am less tired and don’t have meetings, I will try and write them up (Please know there are so many routes I love, and so many things I do recognize across chapters! I don’t even HAVE words for what theivorytowercrumbles accomplished with Helena’s story not to mention how much I adore Cyprin,  SummerLightning’s handling of Onyx’s past relationship was so deftly done when it could have so quickly become ‘milk abuse for plot’ and joidecombat gave Sev a fresh, mischievous energy and navigated the dream/reality line with SUCH skill, and so on and so on.)

I’ve written a lot of reviews. And I try to give nods where I feel they’re due - sometimes, it really is obvious that the whole team’s work came together to makes something great, the world, the plot, the arc, the art, the words, and the music all fit into place in a  well-crafted tour de force. And sometimes one piece or another is lacking, and I’ll admit I’ve left some...less than kind reviews to that end (I try and soften it, because I know there are humans on the other side of everything, but I’ve been harsh more than once with my opinions).  I’ve read routes with plots that made me want to tear my hair out because I DO value consistency and logic to a degree, even if I’m going to accept at face value that, say, space travel is a thing or demons turn to sand when stabbed. 

In the end, these are romance stories. So I will let a lot slide when it comes to plot. What sells a story are the words - not the outline.

And if Voltage doesn’t believe that - just remember that Hamlet existed long, long before Shakespeare wrote it. His was the version that lasted, because the people liked it best. The plot, the world, the characters, they all existed a hundred times over. Even just look at fan translations of manga. Why do people keep translating, even if someone else has? Because the words someone else picked don’t do the story justice. 

I don’t know. I’m talking in circles because I don’t know my own thesis! 

Maybe it’s just - the worlds these stories in are nice. But when I say I’m a fan of something, the premise is like. 10%. The rest is the writing. 

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

@otumbalt

The message you sent was fanmail, I think! And as such, I couldn’t reply directly (tumblr confuses me sometimes and I couldn’t find a reply button. If y’all know better pls do let me know if I need to put my clown shoes on LMAO). Thank you for the kind words though!! I really appreciate it, and I’m looking forward to more complexity from Cybird, too! 

That being said, I did want to touch on something you said because I’m still drowning in my feels and languishing. “the push and pull between comte’s rationality and his desire to love and be loved was something that I really enjoyed from his route” you. you get it. There’s nothing I love more than a man that’s self-aware, and it’s such a rare treat when it comes to fiction, at least in my experience. 

Some spoilers for his MS beneath the cut to explain why this resonated so deeply with me, so no touchy if you’re waiting to read on your own! c:

Because that’s exactly it. At first he is 100% just trying to help her get situated. He’s being rational. Sure, he’s excited to have a guest--he likes meeting new people in general, learning what he can from them (can you feel my uwus). But it’s only when she debuts that he begins to realize that this isn’t just enjoying her company. He finds her dazzling, far beyond what constitutes friendly curiosity. If that sounds too convenient, I can confirm that he takes her to the venue of her debut, dressed in clothes he picked out (which he emphasizes is something that greatly pleases him, looks wonderful on her). And he begins to wonder if this is what it feels like to have a daughter, to look on with earnest fondness and want only the best for her.

But the sugar daddy act ends REAL quick.

There is an attending nobleman that comments on how lovely she is, insinuates a kind of desire to know if she’s single or not with his attraction. And he suddenly becomes quite incensed by that comment, feels genuine irritation. Combined with that is the moment in which MC becomes a little nervous, says that she’s unsure if she’s really worthy of this kind of attention. Comte, in his POV story, is shocked to hear that she’s anxious. She powered through lessons on decorum and dancing, never once complained about his days-long fussing. And he realizes that it’s not because she didn’t feel any discomfort, but because she chose to be strong--chose to keep trying. This is the moment in which he realizes that he cares for her deeply, and that she doesn’t see herself clearly. She’s beautiful in the conventional sense, absolutely--but it’s more than that for him. She’s beautiful because she’s always doing her best, always cares about the people around her enough to try to power through. And that’s what the people around her were truly responding to. Anybody can get dolled up, but to be admired or loved usually requires more substance.

And so he tells her that, caught in the moment of realization. “You’re beautiful...” And she replies that it’s all thanks to the attire he got her, the jewelry gleaming from every part of her. But he falters--tries to clarify, before the opportunity is lost and dies in his throat. 

That was only the first step in his long and exponential descent into love for her. The thing that’s so moving about Comte is that he tries so very hard to contextualize with the knowledge he has. Remember, he keeps telling himself, she’s from the future. She has a place to return to. No matter how curious, no matter how attracted, he was never meant to enter that picture. They were two of a very different kind, irreconcilable in that regard too. Tainting her with his selfishness, with that desire for companionship that’s always been such a difficult obstacle for him, isn’t her responsibility. It’s his. He needed to put her first. And he had every intention to.

Until she saw the wavering parts of him, the fragile ones that only come out in glances--beyond his control, beyond his good sense. And she handled his worries with such care, such compassion that it strikes him to the very core. There’s a good number of chapters where he’s trying and utterly failing to stop her from doting on him, falls into her little gestures of kindness, of attention. 

It takes Leonardo to stop and say that his attempts are pathetic. That it couldn’t be clearer that le Comte is hopelessly in love with her. His indictment forces Comte to backtrack, forces him to try and cut her off entirely. He’s mortified at himself, at his failing self-control. Four hundred years and he can’t manage to stop instigating feelings between himself and one woman in the space of one month? And more than anything, he truly is under the operating assumption that this is in her best interest; that he must stop if this if it is to end in anything other than tragedy. For him, it the ultimate culmination of his own failure to take responsibility, exercise foresight, and consider her feelings.

Needless to say, none of this goes to plan in the end. 

Now, I’d like to clarify something. MC, this whole time, doesn’t really find any fault with all of that. She thinks it’s nice to see him let down his guard, doesn’t mind comforting him when he confides in her now and again. She just sees the man that chose to care about her first, and fell in love with his conscientious concern for people. She doesn’t see his vulnerability as a shortcoming, the way that he does. And that’s where the tension arises. Because Comte is literally staring at his hands internally screaming at himself, while MC is like “you know if we made out, that would be awesome. Can’t believe I might become the foster mom to nine weird genius vampires, but you never know what life brings amirite”

In that way, the route is almost funny, but mostly sad, in how ridiculously inaccurate Comte’s self-perception is. He thinks that asking for help, asking to be cared for, is fundamentally a breach of conduct. Not just...being a person that needs support from time to time?? (He does me a big concern ;-;)

Regardless, and maybe it’s just me, but there’s just something so moving about seeing him so affected? He truly does everything in his power to prove that he is unworthy, does everything in his power to believe that he’s unworthy. But MC won’t be swayed, no matter how scary or difficult things get--no matter how great the gulf of time or life is between them. No matter how many times being with him might result in her being threatened, she doesn’t care. Sure it’s scary, but she doesn’t deem it enough to divide them. She tried to distance herself “for own good” too, following his lead, and it just didn’t work for either of them.

Would you all like to know what it is that gets him to finally acquiesce? What it is that makes him raise the white flag, any defensiveness gone, only endless love and trust taking its place? The second where his desire to love and be loved wins out, all rationality scrapped?

They discuss the events of Vlad’s abduction, and Comte levels with her. Says that if what happened is enough to destroy whatever attraction for him that she had felt, he wouldn’t judge her. She was still more than free to go home, to live her life. When she protests, he pulls his trump card. He gets very serious, looks her in the eye, and asks what she thinks about turning. If he were to pose the question, what would be her response?

And MC, bless her heart, says that she hasn’t decided, because that is something for them to decide together. She certainly won’t force him to do it, but she wants to know what he feels about it before coming to any kind of concrete decision--or even temporary one. Because that’s the whole point. That’s what it means to be in love with someone. It means having someone by your side, someone that’s there to listen and put you first--just as they should be putting you first, too. It means that any course of action is made hand-in-hand, that we check in with each other first; that we hear and help each other out, no matter how confused or paralyzed or exhausted. That’s what makes Comte start laughing with relieved delight, any hesitations gone. That’s when their relationship is solidified, when Comte chooses to devote himself--no matter what hardships the future brings--to her. Because for the first time in his life, he knows he will never have to carry anything all alone anymore, and he is at ease. 

In short, thanks Cybird I’m sobbing now and forever for one gold pixelated man pls don’t look at me

[arigatonamuse]

(hope you don't mind me rbing from here, i thought it'd be good to keep the image ID)

hi hello everyone! i'm back here and believe it or not, i have even more things to say about Juza Hyodo so...

art is special when it comes to touching people's lives and hearts, so i thought, this time around i could talk about...

Juza Hyodo's impact (as an actor) on the A3! cast

i'll start with Juza's troupe, akigumi or the Autumn Troupe:

Banri Settsu:

You guys are probably tired of me talking about the impact of Juza, and his portrait in specific, so i'll try to keep this short, but as i've discussed previously, it was seeing Juza on the stage for the first time that made Banri become passionate about theatre. Before this, Banri had no passion for anything in his life, and no ambition other than beating Juza in a fight, but seeing him act during the portrait changed his perspective on life as a whole. Banri says so himself in his character song of the Mankai Stage version, Muse (full translation (give Dita some love)): "A portrait that directly hit my heart / It made me realize / How hollow I really was" and "I’ll get you back / I remember the bitterness of defeat / Take a chance! / I can’t lose to anyone / I’ll change my ways / You better watch me, Muse" (i am so not normal about this song you guys (no shit, tumblr user arigatonamuse) please go listen to it in full). It's because of Juza that Banri finally had something to be passionate about (which he admits in his own way during the X chapter of the third episode of the main story by saying "It's your damn fault that I finally found somethin' I give this much of a shit about." and "... It's always you that gets me fired up." (translation by japanese game company Cybird in the English version of the game) to a sleeping Juza). It's because of Juza that Banri gained interest in theatre, which went on to become his reason for living, it's because of Juza that Banri is the actor he is today. And even now, in the latest act (act 3/episode 11), we see that this is a feeling that's reciprocated by Juza himself, when he admits to Banri's mum that "I've come this far as an actor only because he's my rival in acting, and because I don't plan to lose to him until the day I die." and "Actor Banri Settsu's existence is important for Actor Juza Hyodo." (source) These two's relationship may be one of rivals on paper (or in Banri's mind) but they are critical to one another, they're the only reason the other has come this far, and it all started by Juza's portait sparking passion on Banri for the first time in his life.

Taichi Nanao:

now, Taichi's relationship with Juza started off rough .. actually maybe not as rough as Banri trying to beat Juza in a fight but still, it ddn't have the best start. Taichi and Juza went to the same school, but even after joining the troupe, Juza avoided Taichi (as well as Tenma, another troupemate and school mate(?)) simply because he didn't want those two to get affected by the bad rep that Juza had back in school And then, a lil later, after a twist is revealed and Taichi's place in the troupe is in danger, Juza is the one to offer him a choice and agency of his own. Juza knows the feeling of wanting to be on stage more than anything in life, and he knows that taking that chance away from someone else, someone who (like Taichi) is willing to do anything to achieve it, is not something for him to decide. In this scene, he makes Taichi himself choose what he wants to do, what approach he wants to take on acting, and holds him up to his choice. After the choice is made, Juza takes on a role of protector or bodyguard, because he's not gonna let anything stop his fellow troupe mates from living their dream on stage. This is something that's still happening in act 3. To keep it short, Juza is the one who can make sure that Taichi and another troupe mate can make it safely to the theatre after being targeted, and he takes care of everyone, even the guy who stayed behind to fight the thugs, while at it. As for Taichi himself, he's looked up to Juza since before they officially met. Taichi thinks Juza is the kind of man that he aspires to be and considers him to be one of the coolest people ever. This was heightened after the twist i mentioned earlier. In Taichi's words, Juza has a "cool air! His masculine presence! His manly back! / His performance as Chilong during Mantou Fist had me awestruck~! Like, he has this aura just by appearing on the stage.... You can immediately tell he’s strong! Like he doesn’t have any weaknesses!" He really admires Juza and is inspired by him to "pursue [Taichi's] own kind of cool as an actor!" (source) Juza is both a protector and an inspiration to Taichi, and he has him as a role model for the kind of person (not just actor) that he wants to be.

Omi Fushimi:

[content warning for death] oh man, this one sure makes me Feel Things. Omi has a troubled past, he was a gang leader along with his best friend. They did things he's not proud of, and he lost his best friend way too soon during his very last fight with a rival gang. His best friend, Nachi, had the dream to be an actor, even though he mentioned that "I know someone like me shouldn’t have this sorta dream. But I just can’t give it up." And here's the thing: Juza looks just like Nachi, to the point that people who knew Nachi have mistaken Juza for him the first time they see him. Adding to that, Juza's passion and yearning for the stage, for acting, remind Omi of Nachi too, to the point Omi feels shame when he's around Juza at first, because he feels like he doesn't deserve to be acting since it was his friends' wish at first, and Omi's passion couldn't yet match neither Nachi's nor Juza's. As the story goes by, Omi has gotten closure over Nachi's death, and he's grown to embrace acting as his passion and his dream too, as well as a way to keep Nachi's memory alive with him. Over time, Omi's shame has transformed into wanting to be as passionate about theatre as Juza and Nachi and wanting to become an actor that Nachi and Juza can be proud of, which is something that i think he's managed. In Omi's own words Juza is "an actor who faces theater more seriously and earnestly than anyone else." and he highlights that "When you’re standing on stage with him—when you’re facing him, you feel this passion. It’s absolute and overwhelming; what you feel during practice is nothing in comparison—. That passion lights a flame in you, and you feel like you can be absorbed in your acting, too. I feel the same; I always sense that passion." (source) Juza helped Omi gain the strength and love he needed to face his past and be at peace with it, and his passion keeps being contagious to him and everyone in the troupe.

Sakyo Furuichi:

this is one of my favourites, although i don't know if i'll be able to make justice to Sakyo's character Ever since the beginning, Juza and Sakyo have had a relationship where they recognise the other for their shared yearning for the stage, and they both root for the other even when they themselves can't believe so much in themselves. Juza rooting for Sakyo when he believes he's too old and lost his chance, and Sakyo rooting for Juza when he is feeling insecure about being a bad actor. Sakyo's a hyper independent guy, being the biggest source of income to his widowed mother since he was a teen, taking care of others and of any business without showing any weakness. He's extremely loving, but he's not one to accept much support from others, which is a source of conflict for the play he's lead of for the first time. During that time, Juza more or less forces his way into Sakyo's business and into helping him trough it, letting him share the load of his worries with someone for the first time. Juza is so open with his love, both for theatre and for people in general, that Sakyo could find himself sharing that burden and letting Juza in, and making Sakyo admire him because even though Juza's way younger than Sakyo is, he has so much love to give. In Sakyo's own words "I thought he was just like my past self; when I was a little kid. But…. During “A Tale of Chivalry” he mentioned the word “love.” That’s a word that the past me was just too embarrassed to face. [...] The point is, he had a bigger heart than my past self." (source) Yes, Sakyo saw his younger self in Juza, but as he learnt more about him he learnt to admire this kid with a heart bigger than anyone else's, and who will make sure no one is alone with their struggles. And at the same time, Juza is the first person who told Sakyo he had not yet lost his shot at doing what he wanted to do, that it wasn't too late for him to become who he'd always wanted to become, just as Juza was starting to become himself.

Azami Izumida:

Juza and Azami are both people who felt like they could not achieve their dreams and to be the person they want to be, but once Azami met Juza, he had already began his road to becoming who he wanted to be. After their first one on one personal conversation though, we close with Juza rooting for Azami in the same way he roots for Sakyo, and as someone who will believe in him becoming who he wants to be. Azami is... particular with how he appreciates his fellow actors, so i cannot use what he said during the Fallen Blood event like i have with the rest, and he's closer to Juza's little brother than to Juza himself, so i can't pull as many things as i did with Banri But still, Azami cares about Juza in his own way, and he also appreciates his passion, which we can see in their relationship during South. Hill. Prison. Azami, despite being an aloof rebellious teenager (i say this in the most loving way) does see Juza's passion, and he sees it as a hopeful thing, that his dream too can come true, even if there are bumps along the way

now that the autumn troupe is out let's talk about Juza's Family:

Kumon Hyodo (Juza's little brother)

Kumon adores his big brother with all he has he's one of the few people who's always believed in him and seen the best of him, even when everyone assumed the worst of him and casted him aside (the other person who's done this is their mum, and maybe some other family members) and his admiration grew even more after Juza began acting, to the point Kumon, too, joined the same theatre company to follow his footsteps it was his admiration for the person his big brother had become that let Kumon himself to face his own struggles and crippling anxiety (literally crippling, my boy gets extremely sick when anxious), all because he wanted to stand on stage with him

Muku Sakisaka (Juza's little cousin)

with Muku things are a bit... the other way around Muku is the reason Juza auditioned for Mankai Company, muku inspired Juza to pursue his own dream but when Juza joined the company, he told Muku not to talk to him, all because he didn't want to taint Muku's reputation by having them associate with each other but, after the first autumn arc is done... Muku is the very first person to express pride for Juza, he says he's proud of being his cousin and, as someone who's seen Juza's transformation from the front row, he's the one who can be the most sure about it

now... i could keep talking about Juza's relationship with the rest of Mankai namely Sakuya, Tsuzuru, Chikage, Tenma and Homare but this is long enough as it is, so I'll leave you all with the words from Akashi, Mankai Company's head of lighting:

Out of everyone I’ve worked with… You stood out to me, Juza. You’re special. There are actors like Banri who can sparkle under the spotlight, and there are actors who can melt beautifully into the shadows. But of all the actors I’ve met, your light is the strongest. You outshine everyone else in terms of pure intensity. At first, I have to admit I was a little anxious. Your aura was so overwhelming I felt intimidated. But I noticed how joyful your movements were under the spotlight, Juza. There aren’t many actors who can appreciate stage lighting like that, so as the head of lighting, I was really happy. I know I can’t really grasp what you’re going through right now, but after you perform your script on stage today, I think I’ll be able to understand you a little more. …So I guess what I want to say is I can tell you’re someone who knows what it feels like to be in the shadows. I think you can utilize your knowledge of the shadows to enhance your powerful light. When I was studying lighting design, not only did I have to learn how light affects the stage, but also how darkness affects it, too. I think you’ll shine even brighter under the spotlight when the time comes because you’ve overcome this darkness. You’re someone who needs to call forth the light and keep shining on stage.

(source)

if you are still reading, thank you and once again, please consider voting for Juza

Semifinals 1

Propaganda under the cut

Aijou Karen: "one night, when she was little, Karen and her best friend Hikari went to see a play together. they loved it so much they both decided to become theater actresses together. now, Karen is attending the prestigious theater training school Seisho Academy, learning not just acting, but singing and dancing too. and she's getting better all the time. it's just as she says: "The Stage Girl Aijou Karen is evolving day by day!""

Juza Hyodo: "Juza had been wanting to be an actor since middle school, but because of his scary appearance he didn't get to try it until his senior year of high school. He wanted to act in order to "become someone else", but in the process of acting he learnt to embrace himself instead, and to use that as fuel for his acting. He's extremely passionate and this passion is contagious to his fellow troupemates. He may not be the leader of the troupe, but he sure is its heart. Despite his wanting to change himself at the start, even from his initial scenes he's ready to face who he is, and to show vulnerability on stage. This and passion are key attributes for any performer to have."

More Propaganda for Juza

Even More Propaganda

If that's not enough propaganda check here

Guess what, more propaganda

Have some more

There really is a lot to say about him

More links

[lil-creatorwritings]

Author Interview

I got tagged by @alloveroliver ! Not sure how this will go but let’s do it~

Name: Well you can call me Becky! Trust me, my surname is a tongue twister and you don’t need to know that.

Fandoms: Er dear lord, that’s a lot if I count the ones outside of otome. If we’re talking just that, then it’s mainly Cybird titles (MidCin, IkeSen, IkeRev and IkeVamp). I have anime and video games fandoms too and you can ask me about that here or on my personal blog! Want to do in the future: Write more, I guess. And get a new phone for more otome games!

Where You Post: Tumblr and AO3 for my fics. Twitter is mostly for my ranting about routes or something about the otome and my main place for finding fanart (and retweeting them, BECAUSE WE DON’T STEAL OTHER PEOPLE’S FANARTS).

Most Popular One-Shot:  It’s apparently my Day 2 Kinktober. A lot of y’all are thirsty for some Leonardo smut eh?

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: The MitsuhidexOC smut trilogy (which I am now calling the Phone Call trilogy lol). It’s hilarious because whenever I think of this story, I remember that it wasn’t suppose to be a trilogy in the first place (it was a one-shot but then someone aggressively persuaded me into writing more of it). I honestly didn’t expect it to blow up like that (and I underestimated the Mitsuhide stans hahaha). Here is part 1, 2 and 3.

Favorite Story You Wrote: Probably my Day 21 of a 31 Day Writing Challenge I did in 2018. I also had an original work, but it’s been put on the back burner for awhile now.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: Five, which was my first IkeSen fic. I was nervous because I wasn’t sure if I got Masamune’s character right and for a personal reason (that I’m just gonna leave at that hahah).

How You Choose Your Titles: Most of the time, I either have a pending title for it or the title comes to me first as I’m writing it. The general theme of the story also has weight on its title. 

Completed: 70-ish fics. Which reminds me that I need to fix and update my Masterlist lol.

Incomplete: *tucks away my wips and google docs of future fic ideas* What incomplete works? Who is she? (lol but seriously maybe..2 or 3. I don’t usually write something and then start another one without completing the previous one, which is probably why I have few incomplete WIPs--because if I didn’t start on it, it’s technically not incomplete lol.)

Do You Outline?: When I first started writing, not so much in the way that I would write them in bullets or a flow chart. I would imagine the scene in my head then write it out, which works for me most of the time. I suppose you could argue that it’s a form of outlining too.. But I mostly type or write the general flow of my fic when my thoughts start to wander and branch out of my original idea to keep me in check.

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: An IkeRev Ray fic that... I’ll be honest it’s a little diamond in the rough, and the theme isn’t really a pleasant thing to talk about. But this is a fic that I feel compelled to write for personal reasons. I don’t want to say much now because I’m not even sure how to start it as of right now. But I do want to write it. There’s also a soulmate AU I want to do for IkeVamp (and for some reason I wanted to do it with Arthur but I haven’t done his route yet), an IkeRev mafia AU (trying to steer away from the ‘crystals are drugs’ and think up of another idea), an IkeSen detective with that femme fatale thing (look idk what the genre is called but think Bioshock Infinite: Burial at Sea), an Edgar Bright art student AU, and just... more stuff lol. But more smut!

Do You Accept Prompts?: I do, but I rarely get them. Maybe because I don’t get to them on time and my followers don’t bother to ask me for stuff lol :( . I don’t really mind that I don’t get them, since I often write my own ideas. But I mean, feel free to drop one if you want to!

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Uh, I guess to finish my Kinktober..?? yes shut up i know its 2020

(Apparently the next questions were added by Ash, so I’ll go ahead and answer them too~)

What do you use to edit?: Currently, I’m not using any third party writing editor. That’s just my personal preference though.

Writing setup: My main set up is in my room, sitting in front of my desk with my laptop and bluetooth keyboard (some of the letters on the laptop aren’t working, so I use an external one. I always have a water bottle with me (because I could sit for hours) and Spotify playing on my phone on speaker. I use Google Docs for all of my fics. Sometimes I’ll go mobile and hook my bluetooth keyboard to my phone and type from there, especially if I can’t stay in my room.

Do you use a beta reader? Nope. For some reason, it’s not a habit of mine to ask someone to beta read my work, though I have done it a few times before. I write, walk away from it, come back to proofread, post, then try to stop obsessing over if it will get notes or not.

Where do you get your writing inspo?: A lot of places--books, songs, anime, tv shows, the internet, other people, prompt lists.. As to the motivation to write, well, that’s something that I’m also struggling with right now hahaha. 

Can we get a quote from an upcoming WIP?:

It wasn’t much of a surprise. This amount of workload always comes with the highest ranking officer in the army, and you’ve always understood that. There are some things that can’t be delegated or that specifically need his approval. Yet it didn’t stop you from feeling a little left out and wanting some of his attention.

Feeling restless, you push off the table and head towards the door. If he was still working, there was only one other person you could think of to keep you company. Skipping down the hallway, you stop in front of one of the doors before knocking on it enthusiastically. “Hm? Little lady?”

Sirius’ room was pristine as always. You step in and plop down on his bed, not caring if your skirts ride up your thighs. “Ray’s still working.”

He smiles and sits down next to you. “And I suppose you came to me to keep you entertained?”

This time, you pout at him. “So what if I did?”

Idk who to tag so if any of my followers (who haven’t done this) see this, go do it!

[swordsmanofsweets]

Honestly this is one of the reasons why I am so turned off by the Ikemen fandom and just don't have the want to participate in anything. The anon hate is seriously abused by BRUTES who obviously have nothing better to do but to spread hate and negativity and I'm really not here for it. Cybird (or any company for that matter) didn't make these games for fans for hate on one another; also, why TF are you so concerned by someone writing about the characters and their OC, reader insert, etc? Like why would that bother you? Why are you even on Tumblr? Cuz that's all that's on here, people sharing their thoughts and edits and memes and fics and art and shit. If you wanna play the game, then just play the goddamn game and hop out of people's assholes because they wanna make fan content. Seriously, the only reason why these brutes are on Tumblr is to stir up trouble and I'm seriously tired of seeing it come from games I play.

I mean... what game are we talking? Cause if it’s like IkeRev or IkeSen, technically they are real LMAO, but dude, idk why you’re so pressed. I presume you’re the same anon?

But I guess while on topic, maybe I’m overly sensitive, and I realize this could be partially due to my anxiety, but having anon hate causes me to cry a river.

I guess it’s a price you have to pay with a public forum, but doesn’t change it’s hurtful and unnecessary. We’re always told to “just ignore it” and in truth, I do find responding to it to be at times pointless. But when your feelings are hurt it’s hard to do so. Even if it’s responding with just a meme or something lengthy, ignoring something that’s had some sort of affect on you negatively is hard.

I find it baffling that it’s so hard for some people to just be nice or keep rather less than kind thoughts to themselves.

I have so many wonderful and beautiful people who support me, that I love and appreciate and I will continue to support back— so thank you for your kindness. I’ll have more stuff coming soon after Christmas. 🧡