#is crying because she wasn't enough again

[megalony]

Another Life Lost- Part 2

Here is the next part of my Buddie x reader imagine, thank you all for the amazing feedback on the first part. I hope you will all like this one.

Please let me know what you think.

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Buddie Masterlist

Part 1

Summary: Eddie, (Y/n) and Evan want to start a family together, but it doesn't seem to be going the way they planned. And now that they're pregnant, again, (Y/n) is starting to panic. She can't handle another loss.

Enjoy.

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Yanking his shirt over his head, Evan rolled it down towards his hips and clicked his neck into place before he trudged out of the bedroom. He tucked the end of his shirt into the top of his jeans that he snagged a little higher on his hips while he headed into the hall.

When his eyes glanced down to his watch, he clicked his tongue and padded across towards the bathroom.

They needed to set off or they were going to be late.

Evan had a thing for being punctual. He liked to arrive to things either ten minutes early or dead on time, being late wasn't an option.

"Baby, you almost ready to go? Eds is gonna meet us down there, remember?" He rapped his knuckles lightly on the bathroom door and leaned his head to one side as he waited for a response.

They were going to a scan today. It was Evan's day off, but Eddie had a long shift that he couldn't swap. Although, Bobby was gracious enough to let Eddie take an hour off to race down to the hospital, be there for the scan and then head back to the station. Bobby knew both men needed to be there today at the scan. (Y/n) wasn't going to cope on her own and Eddie's head wouldn't be on the job if he had to stay behind while his partners went to their scan.

So far, Bobby was the only one who knew (Y/n) was pregnant, and that was only so Eddie and Evan could tell him when they had appointments that they needed to be there for.

They both knew (Y/n) had begrudged telling Bobby because she didn't want anyone to know yet. She had almost burst into tears when Eddie said that after this scan today, he wanted to tell Chris. They couldn't exactly hide this from him and (Y/n) was going to start showing soon, Chris was bound to find out and he needed to be one of the first to know.

"Baby," His voice rung out in a sing-song tone and a smile danced across his lips as he waited for a response.

"I don't want to."

That wasn't what Evan had been expecting. His smile faded into a frown and a shot of adrenaline dosed through his stomach and wormed right up to his heart that added in three extra beats. The sound of her voice was panicked and Evan knew instantly that she was, or had been, crying.

"What?" He gingerly opened the bathroom door and peeked his head round to try and find his girlfriend and see what she was doing in here.

His eyes landed on (Y/n) almost immediately and his heart stuttered when he took in her state. She was perched on the toilet, arms secured around her waist, body slowly rocking back and forth like she was having some kind of panic attack. And she had tear tracks running down her face and trickling across her chin.

For a moment, Evan clenched his hand down on the door handle and leaned into the frame to support himself. He closed his eyes tight and tensed his neck so much that the back of his head began to ache. A gruff noise croaked at the back of his throat and he shook his head to rid the flashing memories from his mind.

He didn't want to remember the night he woke up to (Y/n)'s voice feebly calling out his name. Evan didn't want to remember seeing her laid on the bathroom floor, blood coating her thighs and hands and towels scattered round her as she tried feebly to hide what had happened.

When he opened his eyes again he sucked in a deep breath and pushed off the door, walking over towards her as he reassured himself that she was okay, at least physically. She wasn't crippled over in agony or screaming that anything was wrong or telling him her stomach was cramping or something bad had happened.

He let himself sink down on the edge of the bath with his elbows resting on his thighs and his hands clasped together between his parted knees.

"Talk to me."

"I don't want to go. If there's n-no heartbeat, I'd rather not know." (Y/n) shook her head and refrained from looking down at her stomach before she unhooked her arms from her waist.

Her hands moved to smother her face and she held her breath, trying in vain to calm herself down and ward off the tears that somehow wouldn't stop.

(Y/n) didn't want another scan. She didn't want anymore scans if there was a chance they would turn out the same as their last one. They were around sixteen weeks. Right in the prime zone for something bad to happen. Again. They were nineteen weeks the first time when (Y/n) lost their first girl. She was twenty-one weeks when they went for a scan and found out it had happened again without any of them knowing.

If that was going to happen again, (Y/n) would rather not go and get that news. She would rather stay home and pretend that everything was fine and wait for the day she collapsed or the cramps she was waiting for finally took over.

Her arms started to tremble when she felt Evan's hands gently curling around her wrists and she felt him leaning so close his breath started to tickle the back of her hands.

He cautiously pulled her hands away from her face and leaned forward so he was within her sights. The broken look in his eyes made (Y/n) whimper, but his smile was etched with sorrow and it made her feel ten times worse. She didn't want to upset him. She didn't want to make either of the boys feel as broken and sad as she felt, especially when the pair of them were trying to be upbeat about this.

The feeling of Evan's thumbs tracing across her wrists and over her pulse made (Y/n) shiver but she couldn't help leaning towards him.

"No, no baby we need this scan, okay? We have to make sure they're okay and everything is going smoothly. There's gonna be a heartbeat because you're both perfectly fine."

He brought her hands close so he could pepper kisses against her knuckles and the touch was calming, but his words weren't having the desired effect.

"No, Evan please-"

"Sweetheart, we can't just not go to a scan. We have to make sure you're both okay, it's just routine, nothing's gonna go wrong."

"It did last time."

The last one was routine. They had gone into the hospital that day expecting to come out with a scan photo and the sound of their daughter's heartbeat. They didn't expect to come out with a scheduled date to end the pregnancy because their baby had been lost.

With a deep breath, Evan ran one hand down his face before he took (Y/n)'s hands in his again. "That was different… those things happen, baby. But not this time, trust me."

He wouldn't let it happen again. Evan didn't know what he would do or how he would prevent it, but he would do anything. He would pray if he had to. But Evan needed this to work out, he couldn't see all three of them break from another loss. They couldn't lose another, they couldn't each be mourning a child.

"I w- I want this to work out," Leaning forward, (Y/n) slumped her cheek onto Evan's shoulder and curled her hands around his arm, pinning it to her chest like it was a calming mechanism.

They wanted kids.

Eddie had Chris who had always been his world, and he wanted more kids. Evan had always wanted kids, he wanted a baby in his arms, a little life to watch grow and help thrive and someone to love and nurture. And (Y/n) wanted a baby with both her men. She wanted to have a baby of her own and have this experience. She didn't see why it wasn't working out so far.

Was there something wrong with her? Was she not supposed to be a mother? Was this a sign? Or could she just not have girls? Would this time work out because she might be having a boy?

"I know, sweetheart, and it will." Evan pressed his lips to the back of (Y/n)'s head and cupped her neck while she continued to cling to his arm. "Which is why we need to go today, hm? Check how bubba is doing, make sure both of you are okay."

He felt the way (Y/n) shivered against him, but Evan could of cried when he realised (Y/n) was nodding into his chest. And when she hummed, he sighed and kissed her head again.

He carefully unravelled his arm from her clutches and moved to hold her hips, helping her up. When (Y/n) bound her arms around his torso and meshed herself into his chest, Evan didn't object. He pressed his flush lips against her temple and reeled her in, cupping the back of her neck and winding his other arm around her waist to hold her close.

His cheek leaned on top of her head and they stayed huddled together for a few minutes until Evan was sure (Y/n) wasn't crying anymore and he could feel her breaths evening out against his chest.

He kept his arm around her waist and kissed the back of her head every now and then as they headed out the bathroom and went to get ready.

(Y/n) tangled her hands together in front of her to stop them from shaking. She could feel the resistence welling up inside of her when they stepped out the front door and headed over to the jeep.

She didn't want to go.

She didn't want to feel like this. They had been a little nervous and apprehensive the second time, but all of them had still been happy to get another chance at having a family together. That appointment ruined everything; it crushed all three of them.

Now all (Y/n) could feel was sorrow and worry and she didn't like it. (Y/n) wanted to go to this appointment- and hopefully more- and feel delighted and excited to see her baby on the screen and see them grow and get closer to having her baby. She didn't like feeling apprehensive and nervous and thinking that the worst was going to happen.

Her hand cradled her head when she sat in the jeep and slid down in her seat so she was slouched down.

She could still see the sorrow in Evan's watering eyes and she could see the hollow, broken expression on Eddie's face when he took Chris to one side to explain what was happening. They shouldn't of had to explain to a ten year old that the baby sister he thought he was going to get had passed away. Eddie shouldn't of had to explain that (Y/n) wouldn't be pregnant anymore.

That was why (Y/n) hadn't wanted to tell him yet, not until they had a few more appointments and knew for definite that nothing was going to go wrong.

"What're you thinking, baby?" Evan's voice was smooth like velvet, as if he too was drifting off into his own world in his mind.

Once they were on the road, Evan reached across and dared to press his palm over (Y/n)'s stomach. Like Eddie had said the other day, they needed to tell Chris after this appointment or he was going to work it out himself. He might see the scan photos the boys would have in their wallets and Evan wanted to pin one to the fridge. Chris would notice (Y/n) rushing off to the bathroom to be sick when she had morning sickness. He had already asked last week if she was okay when he saw her throw up.

He would see (Y/n)'s stomach started to become round soon enough, he would notice the cravings when he saw her eating different things and he would notice both dads being more cautious and careful around her. They had to tell him.

Evan was relieved when (Y/n) didn't brush off his touch and he felt shockwaves rattling down his arm when (Y/n) moved one hand to rest on top of his against her stomach.

"I don't want to know what we're having." Her voice was barely more than a whisper, but Evan heard her.

"I think we should."

He managed to look to the right and sneak a glance across at her, but he bit his lower lip when (Y/n) defiantly shook her head and closed her eyes. She seemed to shrink down more in her seat but Evan felt the way she pressed his palm down harder on her stomach. As if she was trying to reassure them both that there was actually a baby there and that they were okay.

"No." She shook her head again and began to glide her thumb over the back of Evan's hand to distract herself from the millions of thoughts rolling around in her head.

(Y/n) didn't want to find out. She didn't want to know if they were having a girl or a boy because it would cement things. Knowing they were having a girl would tell them that this pregnancy wasn't going to work out. But if they had a boy and (Y/n) lost them, then there was no chance of them ever having a baby together. That would prove that being a mother was too much of a challenge for (Y/n) to overcome, and she didn't want to deal with that news.

"Not knowing might worry you, sweetheart. You're already so nervous and it's gonna make you feel sick again. Why don't we find out, hm?"

Evan stroked his fingers across her stomach and moved to squeeze her hip before he slid his hand from her touch so he could change gear and turn off.

He and Eddie had been talking, they were both worried about their girl. They could see (Y/n) was happy about this pregnancy, but she was so panicked too, rightfully so. They wanted her to calm down, they wanted to be able to do something to help her relax and prove that this wasn't going to go wrong again. But they didn't know what they could do or what to say.

They had both agreed to try and do this one day at a time and keep reassuring her and make sure they both looked after her so there was minimal chance of anything going wrong.

"It's a boy… it has to be." (Y/n) looked down at her stomach and dragged her fingertips along her waist while she tilted her head to lean her cheek on Evan's bicep.

She felt the tension running through him but she didn't see the way he bit his lip to distort the flash of pain from his face.

He knew not knowing was going to make (Y/n) paranoid and if Evan was being honest, it would do the same for him. Eddie wasn't superstitious in any sense, but Evan was. He believed in signs and curses and things that couldn't be explained by science. And he knew (Y/n) believed she wouldn't be able to carry a girl.

And he knew that finding out they were having a girl would tip (Y/n) over the edge. But then again, if it was a boy, that would only cement things for (Y/n) that this would be okay.

It was a fifty-fifty chance of either breaking down or calming down and Evan didn't necessarily like those odds. He didn't want (Y/n) to become superstitious during this pregnancy, but he and Eddie both wanted her to be as calm and settled as possible to make sure she and the baby were okay.

"Let's not find out, we'll do this the old fashioned way." Maybe it would be the best way to go.

He reached out for her hand and raised her knuckles to his lips and he felt her squeeze his hand. He had ended that debate quickly to stop an argument and stop them from worrying.

(Y/n) couldn't feel her legs when Evan pulled up in a space and it was time to climb out the jeep. She wanted to keep driving around until every thought faded from her mind and it was time to go back home. When she realised her arms were trembling, she bound them around her waist and tucked herself up into Evan's side as soon as he was standing beside her.

His lips attached to the top of her head and his hand deadlocked on her hip as they headed towards the doors.

"There you are," A lopsided grin spread across Eddie's lips and he tucked his phone into his back pocket when his eyes landed on the pair of them heading his way. "Ready?"

He sucked in a deep breath when Evan rubbed his free hand along the back of his neck and lightly shook his head while his eyes darted down to their girlfriend. She was nervous.

It was written across her face and Eddie's grin faded into a tender, loving smile. His hand fell on Evan's shoulder and he pressed a quick kiss to his lips before he looked down at (Y/n). His fingers pressed beneath her chin, tilting her head up in his direction so he could steal a sweet kiss from her lips.

"It's all gonna be fine."

Evan's arm stayed around her waist while Eddie interlocked her left hand with his and walked on her other side. Being sandwiched between the pair of them made (Y/n) feel safe and protected and she felt like melting down into a puddle between them.

Her eyes trained on the floor and her head leaned on Eddie's arm while she let the pair of them steer her in the right direction. They all knew where they were going, they had been here often enough in the past.

When they signed in, the three of them looked around the waiting room. There were only two other couples waiting, that gave them good odds at being in and out of here- if everything went well.

Eddie ticked his head to the side, indicating to a row of seats but his brows furrowed when (Y/n) shook her head and stayed stood near the wall. She didn't want to sit down. If she sat down she wouldn't have the will to get back up again.

Both of them seemed to understand her plight because Evan's arm stayed looped around her waist and Eddie twisted around to face them both. He rested his left arm high up on the wall just above (Y/n)'s head and leaned over to kiss her temple every now and then. Becoming an effective wall, shielding her from having to look anywhere but at her boys.

The moment her name was called, Evan felt the shiver that rolled through her and he moved his hands down to cup her hips, keeping tight hold of her to try and calm her down.

"Off we go."

(Y/n) deadlocked her hands around Eddie's bicep and pressed her face into his arm while she felt Evan walking close behind her. His hands remained on her hips until they entered the room and when (Y/n) slumped down into one of the chairs and Eddie sat next to her, Evan stood behind them both. He leaned over, his hands on (Y/n)'s shoulders and his lips attached to the back of her head.

"Hi (Y/n), how are you doing?"

"Fine." Her hands fiddled on her lap until Eddie discreetly slid his hand onto her lap and held his palm out towards her. He didn't budge or even blink when (Y/n) began to trace her fingertips along his palm like she was writing secret messages to him. He knew she needed to burn some energy and keep herself occupied.

"Good, are you still having trouble with morning sickness?" The midwife's eyes mostly remained on the computer screen where she was presumably bringing up (Y/n)'s file and jotting notes down.

"A little, but it's okay."

It was manageable, and (Y/n) wouldn't make a fuss or grumble. She didn't care if she threw up all day and night or if this continued right up until labour. As long as she could have this baby, she would bear any cross she had to.

(Y/n) could feel her head swirling from the questions the midwife was asking. It felt like she was trying to prolong this and drag it out to make her feel worse. There seemed to be more questions than last time, but she was glad when Eddie and Evan chipped in every now and then.

"Alright, and you've had no worries, no spotting or pains at all?" The question caused (Y/n) to clench her hand down on Eddie's and she bristled in her seat.

Was the midwife expecting her to lose this baby as well? Was she preparing for the worst case scenario?

She could feel Eddie holding her hand just as tightly and Evan pecked the top of her head, muttering 'breathe' into her hair to try and coax her to stay calm. It was just a question; just a precaution that had to be asked. No one was expecting the worst.

"No."

"That's good. If we can pop you on the scales, take a quick measurement and then we can do the ultrasound." Her smile was understanding and a flash of sympathy crossed her eyes before she got up and motioned to the scales next to the door.

(Y/n) looked between both her men and found Eddie smiling at her with his free hand scratching down the stubble littering his jaw. And Evan ticked his head to the side, silently motioning for her to stand up, he would walk over there with her if she wanted him to.

Anxiety flooded her veins and she couldn't stop from fidgeting, whether it was her feet tapping or her hands drumming against her thighs. Her eyes darted to watch Evan to try and distract herself when she got on the scales and the midwife jotted down the numbers and her height.

Her hands began to tremble when she slowly reeled her shirt up so it bunched beneath her bra. She found herself looking around the room, desperate for something to focus on instead of the midwife who was stood very close in front of her to examine her stomach that hadn't changed that much yet. Her bumpw as barely visible.

She found herself watching Eddie who had suddenly moved from sitting down to leaning against the back of the chair. He had his arms crossed over his chest, one leg stretched out and a calming smile on his face as he nodded at her.

(Y/n) kept her eyes on him while the midwife checked and measured her stomach and her smile suggested everything seemed to be fine.

"Let's take a look then."

Her legs trembled when she slowly trailed behind the midwife towards the bed in the corner of the room. It was a relief to have both boys following behind her, but (Y/n) realised she was trembling rather badly when she got to the bed.

A whimper burned at the back of her throat and she flapped her hand out to the right until she managed to grab Eddie's hand. She reeled his hand close to her chest, unable to stop from stumbling into him while her other hand rapidly pointed towards her eyes. Her expression was stricken and Eddie's brows rose in panic when he noticed how shallow her breathing was and the way she kept squinting up at him.

"C-can't…" Her hand continued to shake in front of her eyes even as Eddie cupped her chin and tilted her head up towards him.

"Amor, it's just a blackout. You need to breathe deeply for me… come on let's sit down."

(Y/n) gasped when Eddie's hands slithered down to cup the back of her thighs and he expertly lifted her up until she was sitting on the bed just behind her. Once she was sat down with her legs swinging back and forth, Eddie cupped her face in his hands and tilted her head up so he could kiss her temple.

The sound of his breathing and the way he held his breath for three seconds at a time encouraged (Y/n) to do the same. And within thirty seconds, the black spots dancing across her eyes started to fade out and all the pixels formed a proper picture again.

"It's okay to be nervous." She didn't realise Evan was so close until she felt his hand stroking across her thigh.

"Perfectly normal, but let's get you lying down and comfortable, it'll help to relax you." The midwife patted her shoulder and smiled when Evan helped swing (Y/n)'s legs up onto the bed.

She did feel a bit better once she was sat up on the bed and she let herself lean back, keeping her shirt tucked into her bra so it was out the way.

Once the gel was on her stomach, (Y/n) grabbed Evan's hand and tugged him closer until he was stood beside her shoulder. She could feel Eddie moving around to stand near her hip, one hand on the bed and the other holding her thigh, squeezing her skin every other second like a mantra to calm them both down.

"I don't wanna look." (Y/n) hated how quiet her voice sounded as she snapped her eyes closed and turned her head towards Evan.

She grimaced when the sonogram pressed into her abdomen and she had to hold her breath to stop from gasping and blacking out again. This was as close as they got last time. Lots of prodding and poking only to be told everything was all in vain.

Her shoulders tensed and pulled up but she felt Eddie firmly pushing her thigh down when he automatically knew she was about to coil her knees up towards her stomach. Evan brought her hand to his lips and ran his free hand up and down her arm to try and coax her to calm down.

He wanted to scream when he saw the panic plastered across (Y/n)'s face and the way she squirmed and grimaced showed how panicked she was. She was expecting something to go wrong and it killed Evan to see her like this and to know that in the back of his mind, he was expecting the same thing.

It seemed too good to be true that they could actually have a baby this time. They had no problems getting pregnant, it was getting through the process where they seemed to hit the bumps in the road.

"And there's baby, right there."

She still couldn't look. Not when Evan tugged on her hand and tried to run his hand up and down her arm again to gain her attention. Not when she heard the little sound Eddie ellicited when he looked at the screen. She didn't want to open her eyes.

"Blood flow is good, placenta is in place… and you've got a very strong heartbeat there. Everything is perfect, (Y/n)."

When she opened her eyes, she found tears distorting her vision and it took another minute to brush them away and manage to see the screen. The heartbeat suddenly flooded the air and made all three of them shake and press together like they thought they were sharing the same dream.

They could all see it. That grey and black outline and the little but steady movement of the heart beating. They could all hear that melodic sound. They could each see that little baby lighting up the screen, curled up perfectly like they were having a little nap.

Their baby was right there, the heartbeat was strong and loud and overpowering. And when (Y/n) felt Evan moving their conjoined hands to brush the side of her stomach, she realised she was smiling through her tears.

It was still early days, none of them could get ahead of themselves just yet, but this was definitely an improvement. Things were progressing smoothly, they had no cause for concern and no reason to panic.

Everything was going in the right direction.

"That's our baby."

***

A quiet hum filled the air as Eddie bustled about the bedroom, opening drawers and stacking the laundry back in place. His head ticked along with the song stuck in the back of his head while he started layering the shirts in order of colour.

He knew Evan. As disorganised as he could bee, there were certain things that Evan liked to have in certain orders. He liked all their plain shirts to be folded in the drawers and in separate coloured piles. He liked their button up and ironed shirts hung up in an order in the wardrobe. Evan liked the bedding to be folded and set in vertical rows in the bed drawer or else he would take them out and reorganise them.

Both (Y/n) and Eddie had learned very quickly how to organise the bedroom so it didn't irritate Evan. They all had their quirks and little ways and all three of them learned their dynamics so they could all help each other.

Eddie continued to hum but as he opened the middle drawer and started to put the pyjamas away, a smile flickered across his lips. He stopped humming and paused what he was doing when he felt a pair of hands on his waist.

His smile broadened when he felt (Y/n)'s hands slither around from his waist so her arms were encircled around his torso with her hands pressing against his abdomen. He couldn't help the way he shivered when she pressed her face into his back between his shoulder blades and he could feel each soft breath she took.

"Hi baby." He leaned back into her a little more so he could finish putting the pyjamas away and when he shut the drawer, he remained in place.

His hand reached down to rub up and down the back of (Y/n)'s hand but when he didn't receive a response, Eddie craned his head over his shoulder to try and get a peek at her. She was breathing softly into his shirt which told him she wasn't upset or annoyed or seeking something in particular.

"You okay, amor?" He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and waited to see if she needed anything.

"Hm."

"Good." He felt the way she sighed softly into his shirt and it made him wriggle in her arms at the touch. He waited another moment before he turned and slowly walked towards the bed to grab the rest of the washing while (Y/n) stayed attached to his back like a baby monkey.

Her arms stayed deadlocked around his waist and she twisted her face so her cheek was pressed against his back rather than her whole face. When Eddie leaned over, (Y/n) leaned with him and he grinned when he felt her press into him a little more until her bump was pressed between them.

When he was done with the washing, Eddie gave her hand a final squeeze before he turned around in her arms. His head tilted to one side and he narrowed his eyes when he looked down at her. There was something behind (Y/n)'s eyes that made his heart quicken; he wasn't sure what it was, but it made him worry.

His hands reached down and gently cupped her face so he could tilt her head back, allowing him to look down at her properly. While (Y/n)'s arms stayed around his torso with her palms now pressing into his back like she was keeping him pressed up against her in case he tried to pull away.

"What's up baby?" His thumbs swiped across her cheekbones and beneath her eyes while he darted his eyes up and down her frame as if checking for injuries or any distress signs.

"I…" She swallowed deeply and darted her eyes down. She didn't want to say it.

Her lips rolled together into a thin line and her eyes stayed focused on Eddie's chest until he gently tilted her head back a bit more and swooped down to steal a kiss. The touch took her by surprise but the feeling of his warm lips on hers distracted her from all the thoughts rushing around in her head.

(Y/n) kept her eyes closed for a few more seconds when Eddie finally pulled back and let her catch her breath. When she looked up at him, she saw one of those heartwarming smiles on his face, one that always managed to reassure her in any situation.

The look in his eyes was silently telling her to talk. She knew he wouldn't judge or laugh or roll his eyes at anything she said or asked him, but she still felt nervous about what she wanted to say.

Her eyes trained down on his chest again while she unravelled her arms from his torso so she could reach up to hold his wrists where his hands were still cupping her face.

Intrigue flooded Eddie's eyes as he watched (Y/n) pull his hands away from her face, but she stayed standing close enough to him that their breaths mingled together. He watched intently as (Y/n) lowered his hands down until both palms were cupping her stomach. Eddie took a deep breath, unable to stop himself from stepping closer until he was pressing into her bump and his thumbs gently stroked up and down her skin over her top.

"I- I haven't felt anything, for a while. Check them… please?"

The look in Eddie's eyes softened like melting chocolate and his smile broadened when (Y/n) had been expecting him to laugh or shake his head and tell her she was being silly.

The quiet "Okay," that he murmured against her temple made (Y/n)'s stomach flutter with adrenaline and she squeezed his wrists.

He didn't want her to worry. If she asked him to check on the baby then that's what Eddie would do. There was nothing silly about why (Y/n) was panicking and Eddie knew if it would calm her down, he would always take a look and try to check on the baby for her.

His hands stayed firmly on her stomach and (Y/n) took a sharp breath when Eddie suddenly started to walk her backwards. She kept her hands on his forearms and slowly shuffled back until she felt the end of the bed behind her knees and Eddie nudged her to sit down.

Her head tilted to one side, curiosity burning within her eyes as she watched Eddie tower over her and she felt his hands moving along her skin. He scrunched his fingers up in her shirt- which he knew was one of Evan's lounge shirts- and started to tug.

"This is in the way," He murmured against the shell of her ear, pulling back just enough to pull the shirt over her head. He tossed it somewhere on the bed behind her and moved his hands down to her stomach that was now exposed to his prying eyes.

Eddie nudged his nose against (Y/n)'s, angling her head just right so he could kiss her lips.

(Y/n) shuddered when she felt Eddie's lips leave hers and peck the corner of her mouth, then the tip of her jaw. Her arms trembled from the shiver that tore down her spine when Eddie grazed his teeth across her neck like he was debating whether to bite down and leave a mark or not.

He seemed to decide on leaving a tiny mark before he switched to leaving hollow, open-mouthed kisses down her skin as his hands gripped her thighs and he crouched down.

She pressed her knees into his chest as Eddie crouched down in between her thighs with his hands periodically squeezing her thighs like he was reminding himself of something or trying to keep some sense of control.

(Y/n) didn't know what to do with her hands so she settled for dancing them across Eddie's shoulders, with her head tilted to one side as she watched him start to move. His hands left her thighs and travelled up to her stomach like he had just remembered she had asked him to do something. To check on the baby.

He started to press the heel of his hands around her bump that was finally starting to round out and get into shape. They'd never gotten past this stage before. This was as much as her stomach had ever changed. (Y/n) seemed to just start to show and get a proper shape, and then things went wrong. She just started to feel kicks and movements and wriggles and then it was all gone and she was left empty and hollow.

She liked the way both Eddie and Evan seemed to reach out for her stomach during the night now. She was getting used to waking up with either a hand or a protective arm draped over her bump.

"They're lying properly," Eddie whispered and leaned forward to kiss the centre of her bump. "Head is over here… so we should feel some kicking round here."

He pressed his fingertips around a little more and circled the area where he felt the feet were. He pressed his lips over her stomach before his hands shifted to press down into the mattress either side of her hips so he could push himself up. He hovered between her thighs again, leaning up enough so he could steal her lips away in another tender kiss.

Whenever (Y/n) started to get nervous, Eddie would make a show of checking how the baby was laid and waiting with her until she finally felt them wriggling or felt a kick. He knew that last time (Y/n) hadn't felt or noticed anything go wrong and that had come as a great shock to find out the baby had passed when she felt fine.

Now that they were starting to feel movements, (Y/n) panicked any time she hadn't felt anything for a while. It was understandable and Eddie and Evan would calm her down any time she panicked, like today.

"Still hasn't moved," (Y/n) looked down at her stomach and danced her fingertips over the side of her stomach.

Usually when Eddie started to prod around and check on the baby, it made (Y/n) nervous and fuelled with adrenaline and it got the baby moving. That was all she wanted. She just wanted the baby to constantly move and kick or just make a little tiny movement so she knew they were okay and all three of them could be reassured.

Eddie's fingers pressed beneath her chin so she was once again looking up at him.

"Since when?" There was no annoyance or irritation in his tone, only love. And it made (Y/n) feel calm. He wasn't annoyed that she was asking him again and he wasn't telling her she was being silly for getting worried.

"Before dinner, it's been a while."

"Okay, stay there." His lips pecked her temple before he got to his feet and headed out the room.

(Y/n)'s eyes followed him as he left the room and her hands danced across her stomach while she wondered what he was up to. He had vanished from the room to go and get something or to go and do something, but (Y/n) wasn't sure what he was thinking. Usually they waited around for the baby to move. Maybe he was going to grab a drink, sometimes cold water made the baby liven up.

The nerves in her chest ignited again when she watched Eddie waltz back into the room with a grin on his face and a stethoscope hanging around his neck like a chain.

"Let's double check."

(Y/n) wasn't sure why they had a stethoscope in the medical cupboard but she figured one of the boys had brought it home from work. God knows Eddie and Evan were always getting into accidents and getting colds so it was handy to have that around the house for those little emergencies.

With a deep breath, (Y/n) leaned back and planted her hands down behind her on the bed to prop herself up. Her head tilted to the right and her eyes stayed intently zoomed in on Eddie as he crouched between her thighs again and took the time to kiss her stomach.

She loved how calm and collected he was and how he looked like he was a medic on shift again when he set it in his ears and moved the stethoscope around (Y/n)'s stomach.

She couldn't help but reach one hand out to run the pad of her finger across his freshly shaved jaw when his head tilted to one side. He looked like he was in the zone in his own little world and the hint of a smile on his face made (Y/n) want to drag him up to her and kiss him. But the way his smile brightened and pushed up into his cheeks made her hold her breath.

She watched as Eddie carefully unhooked the stethoscope from his ears and reached up to set them in hers instead.

"Nice and strong, don't you think?"

There it was. (Y/n) could hear it. That steady drumbeat that sounded like someone tapping on the window, periodically thumping away like the best song they had ever heard.

"Probably just having a nap, nothing to worry about, mi amor." Eddie's free hand moved to cradle the side of her bump and he leaned up to peck her lips again.

"He's okay."

"Baby, it might not be a boy." The warning tone in Eddie's voice made (Y/n) shiver and take a sharp breath as he reached over her and took the stethoscope from her ears after a minute. He couldn't resist from having another listen but that warning look of one brow arched and his lips pursed stayed on Eddie's face. Even while he reached over to slump the stethoscope on the bedside table.

(Y/n) cast her eyes down while she shuffled back on the bed until she was sat in the middle with her legs stretched out and her eyes focused on her lap.

She thought Eddie would of carried on wandering around the room, tidying up like he had been doing before she distracted him. But she was surprised to find him crawling onto the bed with her- more specifically, on top of her.

His knees pressed down into her hips so he was hovering over her lap with her effectively trapped beneath him. And he sank back on his heels while his hands reached out to cup her face and he leaned over, meshing his chest down into hers so he could snatch a kiss.

"I wouldn't get this far if it was a girl."

The broken look that filtered across (Y/n)'s eyes tore at something in his chest and his hands tensed against her face as he kissed her, swallowing her words like he wanted to snatch them from her mind. (Y/n) felt his tongue tracing her lower lip and the way his chest tensed and pressed down into hers.

They were twenty-three weeks along now. This was the furthest they had gotten and (Y/n) couldn't help but believe that was because they might be having a boy. Sometimes it felt as if her body knew the boys were desperate for a daughter and therefore evicted any girls she tried to have.

"Mi amor I told you, me and Buck are gonna take good care of you. We might have a girl in here, but even if it is a boy, nothing bad is gonna happen this time. I swear. Okay?"

(Y/n) nodded quickly and moved her hands to cup his wrists, tracing her thumbs over the back of his hands while she grazed her teeth along his lower lip.

Whatever this baby was, (Y/n) had to keep them safe.

[idkwhatimdoinghere1655]

Something Else - Lando Norris

<word count - 8614> |part 1 - Nerd|part 2 - Rumours|part 3 - So Special|

warnings: more maths, biology, bitches

That night, Lando spent his evening in his room, procrastinating. He had homework to do, but he couldn't bring himself to sit at his desk and pick up his pen. Plus, he could just do it with you tomorrow, anyway. 

The excitement that he felt as a result of getting to sit with you again, getting to spend time with you again was unlike anything else he had ever felt. It was like he was a young child on Christmas Eve, unable to wait for the next morning to roll around so that they could see what Santa had brought them. 

His whole family could see a clear shift in his mood, since they had grown so accustomed to moody, sad Lando over the past couple of days. All he wanted to do was get to school the next day just so that he could get to second break and meet you in the library - and that was something he never thought he'd say. 

Lando had also made his mind up that tomorrow, he was going to ask for your snap. Or your number. Having your number felt a lot more personal and serious than just having your Snapchat. He had a lot of people's snaps, but not many people's numbers. But he wanted yours. 

He wanted to save the conversations you'd have, he wanted to be able to call you when he got home from school and talk to you until he couldn't keep his eyes from drooping shut and then do it all again the next day until he could spend his weekends with you. 

Lando truly was the epitome of a love-sick teenage boy, pining after a girl who he wasn't even sure who wanted him back. You had to though, right? You wore his jumpers, you helped him with his work, he drove you home, hell you hugged each other. 

Meanwhile, you were happy, just not to the scale that Lando was. You were confused, to say the least. You didn't think that everything was just automatically going to blow over just because you had stuck up for yourself once, and the fact that you had was surprising to you. 

But you didn't know if you could keep on standing up for yourself, remembering how you had just broken down in front of Lando and felt like a complete idiot. It also baffled you how... understanding, he had been.

He didn't laugh, didn't tell you to get a grip, he didn't stand there awkwardly - well, he did but he had the right intentions. He had hugged you. I mean, what teenage boy hugs a girl that they're friends with when she's crying?

Despite the jokes he sometimes made, he clearly had an old head on young shoulders. The maturity that he had showed made you like him more, if you were being honest. How much you like him was obvious to you at this point.

You'd always been able to appreciate his face, but now it was more than that. You wanted to spend time with him, sit with him, just be near him. You wanted to laugh at his jokes, hear his voice, make him laugh. 

Yet there was always the fear. If you were actually together, what other rumours would people spout? How much worse would it get? Sure, you'd have Lando there by your side, and you knew he'd stick up for you, but how much more could you take? 

Was your adoration of him enough to cancel out everything people said?

Alas, the next morning, you had the courage to get on the bus instead of having to walk the freezing journey to school. Lando wasn't there, but you weren't upset by it. Max and his friends also didn't say anything, which was... weird, but you chose to ignore it. 

That and the weird feeling of dread that you had in your gut. 

Anyway, you walked into school, actually going to the canteen instead of the toilets or the lockers in fear of people talking to you. As you sat down at the table you usually did, the people that filtered in gave you weird looks. 

It almost looked remorseful, maybe something along the lines of pity? They spoke in hushed whispers around you, none of them making the effort to speak to you. You just scrolled on your phone as you sat there, your headphones in your ears. 

You could hear the faint chatterings of the other people in your year, but you were more focused on your phone. Eventually, the people in the canteen fell silent, the light buzzing of their conversations dying down as the doors opened. 

Out of curiosity, you looked up to see Lilly, strutting into the room. You knew something was amiss, but you had no clue what it was. People looked between you and her, and you were so confused as to what was going on. 

To make the atmosphere worse, Lando walked in after her a few seconds later, and you saw how come people's eyes went wide. Lando smiled at you before taking himself over to his friends, and Lilly went to her own table. 

"Mate, is it true?" Max asked Lando, and all he could do was roll his eyes. He had heard the sentence a lot of time recently, and he could only assume that he was about to hear some bullshit. But what Max said nearly made his heart stop. 

"Did you cheat on Y/N with Lilly?" 

Now that was a question that had a lot to unpack. To start off with, there was no way he could've cheated on you since you weren't together, that was the first major thing that he went through in his head. 

The second thing was that it was a stupid question; he'd never cheat on you. If you were his, he wouldn't risk losing you over something so stupid and hurtful as cheating. If you were his, he'd never have the desire to be with anyone else. If you were his, he'd be the best damn boyfriend he could've possibly been. 

Thirdly, it was already established that he wouldn't cheat to begin with, but certainly not with Lilly. God, even the sound of her name in his head made him want to throw up. He knew she had a massive crush on him, but he'd never stoop that low. 

"Who the fuck said that?" he rushed, his tone not lacking urgency. 

"I don't know where it came from, Will told me this morning," Max sheepishly said, not missing the alarm in Lando's voice. He knew his friend had been having a hard time lately - and he was a participant. But he also knew that it was going to get worse from now.

"Oh my christ," he mumbled, getting up nearly as quickly as he had sat down. Lando had spotted Will going over to the lockers earlier, and he hoped he was still there. You saw his face, the look on it. 

There was no emotion on his features other than rage, and you still didn't know what was going on. As he left, people carried on looking between you and Lilly, and you could only assume that it was something to do with her. 

"Will," Lando said, spotting the blonde boy fiddling with dials on his locker. 

"Hey Lando! What's-" he cheerily started, but he stopped when he saw Lando's face. He knew what he was asking about. "What's up, mate?" he asked, not even knowing if he wanted to find the answer out in the end.                                             

"What did you tell Max? About me 'cheating' on Y/N?" 

Will was internally cursing Max for telling Lando that he had been the one to spread the message around the friend group, and he was nothing short of terrified of Lando right now. "I just told him what Maisie told me," he quietly said. 

"And what did Maisie tell you?" Lando prompted.

"She just said that things weren't great between you and Y/N and that you apparently spent last night with Lilly..." he trailed off, and the pieces all fell into place in his head. Lilly. 

She had surely been the one to spread it around her friends, who were the gossipers of the school. He should've known it would be her, especially after how she had spoken to you and about you when he was listening. 

He wasn't going to bother going to Maisie and asking her what Lilly had said, but he knew Lilly would just spout pure and utter bullshit to him and it'd be a waste of time trying to get the truth out of her. At least Maisie would be easy to intimidate the veracities of the story out of. 

Lando needed to get to the bottom of this, preferably before first period so you wouldn't spend your lesson upset. It was naive to think that this wouldn't get back to you before that point, but he would be a lot more relieved if he could tell you what was going on before you got upset. 

"You absolute idiot, you know that Y/N and I aren't together, and you sure as hell know that I wouldn't touch that bitch with a 10 foot barge pole!" Lando spat, taking himself away from will before he did something he'd regret. 

Meanwhile, you were still in the dark about everything that was going on. Until now. "Hey... erm... I'm really sorry to hear about what Lando did. It's really shitty. Especially with Lilly. I guess we all should've seen it coming," someone came up to you and said. 

It was one of the usually shy girls, so it was surprising to see her come and talk to you out of the blue. "What are you talking about?" you asked, and her mouth dropped.

"You don't know what he did?" she asked, suddenly feeling like this was the single worst idea she had had in at least the last five years. 

"What did he do?" you replied, thinking that Lando had done or said something that was instantly going to ruin the reconciliation that you had both made yesterday. You really hoped that it wasn't something he had done, because you didn't think you could handle that volume of feelings again. 

"With... Lilly... you know... cheated..." she mumbled, avoiding your eyes and looking at the freshly buffed canteen floor. 

"Lando can't cheat if we were never together to begin with," you coldly said, your voice betraying no emotion. For some reason, the word 'cheated' sent a pang of hurt through your body, but you couldn't quite decipher why. 

Maybe it was just the mere idea of Lando cheating on you that sent your heart into a spiral, but there was certainly something about it that hurt. And with Lilly? Ha, that was funny. As if he'd do that... or would he?

Oh here came the doubt, the questioning, the lack of reasoning. Lando would never cheat on you. Never. He was not that kind of guy, and you couldn't even see him thinking of it, let alone actually doing it. But you weren't even together so it didn't matter.

"Oh... I... erm... sorry..." she trailed off, scurrying away from you before you had chance to say anything else. Now you knew why everyone was giving you looks and whispering about you. They all believed that you and Lando were together from the first set of rumours, and now it seemed perfectly plausible that he had cheated on you. Just great. 

In the interim, Lando skulked down the hall, before spotting Maisie just before she reached the canteen. "Maisie!" he called out, jogging up to catch her. The girl's face absolutely fell when she saw Lando, and she was clearly of the knowledge that she was in some deep shit.

"Look, I only know what Lilly told me, OK?" she said, and he could have laughed at how scared she was. 

"Which was...?"

"That things between you and Y/N were rocky, to say the least. Apparently she was too boring, too square for you. So you called Lilly and... you know." Maisie explained. The implication in her words wasn't lost on Lando, and he could feel the hot sears of fury building up in his stomach and spreading through his veins. 

"And you believed it? You really fucking believed a word that she said? Are you seriously that naive?" he grovelled through gritted teeth, really trying not to lose his temper with the cowardly girl in front of him.

Maisie was scared. Terrified, even. "She's my friend... I..." she stuttered, unable to meet his eyes. 

"Well she shouldn't be, get better friends. She is nothing but a lying, manipulative, awful person that you'll be better off getting rid of sooner rather than later," he told Maisie, leaving her awestruck at what he had said. 

Now all Lando had to do was find the single thing that had caused him the most distress as of recent: Lilly.

He had seen her in the canteen, and he assumed that she'd still be there. Pushing past Maisie, he stormed into the room, and you knew he knew. You had instantly jumped to the conclusion that Lilly had been the one to spread the rumours, and now it seemed that Lando was trying to resolve the issue. 

"Lilly what the fuck are you playing at?" he sneered, leaning over the table and towering over her. The smirk on her face looked proud of what she'd done, and it pissed him off even more than he already was, if that was possible.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you watching him. He knew you knew, and he was going to go to every length that he could to make sure that you weren't upset by this, by her. "Not my fault she was too vanilla for you," she laughed, her friends grinning along. 

"Too vanilla? Are you out of your fucking mind? I'd rather be dead than touch you!" Lando near on yelled, people averting their eyes to him as his voice raised slightly. 

"Not what you were saying last night..." she chided in a sing song tone, and Lando was about 2 seconds away from losing his cool. 

"Well then let me make it quite clear. I would never ever want to be anywhere near you, got it? Now stop making shit up that everyone knows isn't true just because no one actually likes you. Y/N doesn't, your friends don't, no one around here does, and I sure as hell don't," he ranted, and Lilly's confidence faltered. 

He could see the slight expression of jealousy on her face, since she knew deep down that her efforts of being with Lando were proving futile. There was also some semblance of hurt there, since it was never nice to be verbally berated by the boy you had a crush on. 

"And what makes her so special, eh? Her drab personality? The fact that she's a complete suck up? Her lack of friends? Or is it just because she's clever?" she spat back, her tone not lacking that familiar snark that she was famous for. 

"She's a hell of a lot more than you'll ever be. If I hear one more lie come from your mouth, your life around here will be hell," Lando finished, moving across the canteen to go and sit with his friends: who had all been watching the ordeal from afar. 

He hadn't noticed, but pretty much everyone in the year was watching the argument. Even you, sitting at your table by the wall, were dumbfounded. As Lando sat down, you could see how he was trying to seem all cool, calm and collected like he normally was.

But, you could see the faint inklings of his anger still lingering on the surface, and you were sure they'd be there for the rest of the day. You were pissed off too, but you couldn't help but feel a small smidgen of upset too.

You didn't want to be upset, not by Lilly, never by Lilly. Yet you were. That sad feeling that you'd had over the past couple of days was creeping back in, as much as you were willing it to go away so that you could carry on as if this had never happened. 

Cutting through the light chatter, the bell rang out that signalled that you should go to first period. You spent your hour in history not really concentrating on the details of the Cuban Missile Crisis, more on what Lilly had said.

Something about the words ran deeper than they ought to have, and it was like an itch you couldn't quite scratch. "Y/N, who was it that met with Anatoly Dobrynin to secretly resolve the crisis?" your teacher interrupted, pushing you momentarily off the path that your mind was taking you down.

"Erm..." you stuttered, and something that resembled concern flashed in your teacher's eyes. You were normally so on the ball, always switched on and tuned into lessons. But, he wouldn't hold it against you that you were zoned out once.

He had never ever seen you not paying attention, so he'd let it slide. Just before he said the answer, it popped into your head. You seemed to remember reading about it in your textbook once, but it might not have been right. "Robert Kennedy?" you said, and a soft smile found its way onto his face. 

"Yes, well done," he nodded, and you were off the hook for now. You could go back to your little daydreams about everything that had gone on in the morning. Or day-mares. You weren't quite sure. 

First break and second period went by, and you remembered that you said you'd help Lando with his biology. The anxiety that you used to feel about seeing Lando was crawling through you, feeling almost like a hand wrapped around your neck.

You were at the library first, as usual. You didn't have biology today, but you had brought your text book just so you could fill in any of the gaps in your own knowledge before attempting to teach Lando any of it. 

You weren't actually sure what about anatomy he was wanting to learn or if that was just a joke, but you thought it would be better to be prepared. The chair in front of you was pulled out, and Lando sat down with a big grin on his face. 

He was trying to be normal, but he was scrutinising your every move to see if you were OK. "Hey," he smiled, rummaging through his bag to get out his crumpled work book and biology textbook. "So, tell me about that cycle thing," he said, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms, ready to listen to you. 

"The menstrual cycle?" you pressed, since there were many cycles he could have been referring to. Plus, it was funny to see the flush of red on his cheeks and the way the tips of his ears turned pink when he was embarrassed.

Lando may have been a mature boy when it came to your emotions, but he was just like the rest of them when it came to talking about slightly awkward topics like periods. "Erm... yeah. That one." he confirmed. 

"OK, so, what you need to know about are the 4 hormones. You've got LH, oestrogen, progesterone and FSH. FSH causes the maturing of the egg in the ovary, LH triggers ovulation, which is the release of the egg into the uterus. Oestrogen repairs and thickens the uterus lining, and progesterone maintains the uterus lining." you explained, and Lando tried to be an active listener by nodding his head as you spoke. 

"Sure, yeah, I can remember that," he nodded. "You'll probably have to explain it a few times to me, but I can remember that. It isn't so hard," he reassured, but it sounded like he was telling himself more than he was telling you. 

"So from that, try some practice questions, and then we can fill in any gaps after, yeah?" you said, taking his textbook and flicking through the pages until you found the practice questions at the end of the chapter on the menstrual cycle. 

"Yes ma'am," he jokingly saluted, picking up his pen and looking after the questions. "Do you have some paper?" he asked, clearly not having brought any. You just rolled your eyes at him, ripping a sheet out of your notebook for him. "Thanks, you're the best," he winked at you, his eyes moving down to the paper on the table before he could spot you blushing. 

God was he charming. As Lando distracted himself with getting on with the practice questions, you figured you might as well finish your physics homework that you had been given in second period. It wouldn't take you long if you concentrated. 

But it was hindered by that small feeling of anxiety again. Anxiety of being here with Lando. Lilly's words echoed in your head again, and the stab of pain didn't become any less stinging as you thought about it.  

'Her drab personality?' You knew you weren't the most egregiously outgoing person in the world, or the most funny, but you didn't think you were drab, per se. Maybe just reserved. The people that had put the time in to get to know you seemed to find you funny.

Well, Lando seemed to find you funny. That had to count for something, right? You didn't have to be overly loud or obnoxious just to have a personality, but you were in high school, so maybe you did. 

'The fact that she's a complete suck up?' You wouldn't say you were exactly a suck up, you just liked doing well in your lessons, it was as simple as that. You didn't like getting told off, so you did your work, and you did it well. 

The praise brought you a nice little ding of satisfaction, and you didn't really see much reason to act out or not do your work. You had your moments where you had forgotten things, but your teachers were lenient since you were always so diligent. 

'Her lack of friends?' Now that was just inaccurate. You had friends, most of them were people you just so happened to sit next to in your lessons and you hung out on occasion. You didn't hang out with them in school since you liked to knuckle down and get your work done during the day so you could limit the amount you did at home. 

You went out on the weekends, whether it be for lunch or to do some activity that one of them had picked. There was just the illusion that you didn't have any friends, but you didn't expect Lilly to be so observant. 

'Or is it just because she's clever?' The more you thought about it, the more you thought that being smart was the only thing you had going for you. It was easy to look past everything that made you you when you were always getting the best grades. 

A lot of people seemed to omit the detail of your name when referring to you, simply calling you the 'smart one'. It had never bothered you before, so why did it now? Surely though, Lando didn't just like you because you were smart?

Most of the time, you weren't being academic when you spent time together, so there had to be more to it than that. As you got in your own head, your self-confidence was dwindling. Was all of that really what people thought of you?

That you were drab, friendless, a kiss ass, just the smart one? Maybe they had and you had just never noticed. All anyone ever saw you as was clever. The little lonely thing who just studied instead of having a worthy social life. 

That you were destined for solitude with nothing but your textbooks and scientific journals teeming with knowledge. It wasn't how you wanted yourself to be seen, not in the slightest. For a moment, you considered having a full on glow up, complete with the leather pants and hairspray - just like Sandy in Grease.

But that would be a little too much, so you decided against the idea. At least you didn't have long before you could leave that place and never look back. School had never been about the people to you, not until now, anyway. 

Lando noticed that you weren't doing anything, your pen was just hovering over your sheet and it had been for a few minutes now. He didn't know whether you were brainstorming or thinking, but by the look on your face, whatever you were thinking wasn't pleasant.

"Hey..." he softly mumbled, reaching out hand to place on your arm from across the table. He gently shook you, snapping you out of your thoughts. You just looked at him for a moment, your brain taking you back to where you were. 

Right. Studying. Biology. Physics. With Lando.

"You stuck?" you asked, leaning over to glance at the practice questions he had been scribbling down onto the paper. 

"No, you just seem a bit spaced out. You doing OK?" he asked, concern written all over his face. He had a feeling he knew what was going on, and he was nearly 100% sure that he was right. 

"Yeah, I'm good, just tired," you lied through your teeth, and Lando knew it was complete and utter bullshit. His expression hardened, not liking that you were lying to him. He hated it when you lied to him.

"Hey, c'mon, don't do that. Talk to me," he urged, his hand still remaining on your arm as he squeezed it. You stayed silent, not wanting him to take the mick out of you for thinking the way you were. But Lando wasn't having it. "Please? You're clearly upset about something. You can tell me." he pressed. 

"I just... nevermind. It's stupid," you dismissed, picking your pen back up to actually make an attempt on your physics homework. 

"No, we're not doing that. If you don't tell me, then I can't make it better," he carried on pushing. Lando just wanted you to open up to him, to make you see that he could trust you. He wanted to fix your problems for you.

"I... do you think I'm drab?" you asked, and he was taken aback. He took a few seconds, thinking over your question. He hated that you even had to ask him that in the first place. 

"No, course I don't, you're so much more-"

"OK so do you think I'm a suck up? Do you think I have no friends? Is the only good thing about me my brain?" you rambled, and his face softened. He was right. It was exactly what he thought it would be: Lilly's words had gotten to you. 

"No, no. Listen to me," he said, but you were still looking down at the paper and fiddling with the top of your pen. "Can you look at me?" he asked. His mum always got him to look at her when he was upset and she was trying to be reassuring, so he figured he'd try the same approach as her.

"Y/N. Look at me." he said more firmly. The sternness in his tone wasn't like anything you had heard from him, and you didn't know what else to do apart from listen to him and do as he said. You tilted your head up to meet his eyes, the softness hiding behind the hard exterior. 

"You are none of that. Don't let Lilly think any less of yourself. You're not drab, you're a joy to be around. You're not a suckup, you're a hard worker. You have friends, you've got me. And there is so much more to you that just your brain. Sure, it's an incredible thing that I admire about you, but there's more to you than just that."

Now you really didn't know what to say. Somehow, Lando had just said exactly what you needed to hear. Yet it didn't make the insecurity go away, not fully. "But do you think other people think that? Or is Lilly just saying what everyone thinks...?" you nearly whispered. 

"You don't need to care about anyone's opinion. Not everyone else's, not mine, and certainly not Lilly's. The only opinion you should care about is yours," he told you, and that was another moment where Lando showed that he was wise beyond his years. 

"OK," you agreed, and Lando finally removed his hand from your arm. He seemed settled by your agreement, but he knew he hadn't fully convinced you. He'd keep an eye on you and be ready to swoop in and quash any more of that lingered self deprecating doubt. 

"Now, do your physics. We can't have our number one scholar falling behind, can we?" he chuckled, trying to bring some light to the situation. 

"As if you could catch up, Norris," you laughed, finally starting the questions that you had to do. You had them done in ten minutes, and finally the bell went for the end of second break. You and Lando packed up your stuff, ready to head to your next lesson. 

"Hey, can we meet back here for the second half of lunch? I've got some maths I need help on," he asked, and you couldn't say no to him.

"Sure, I'll be here all lunch so just come up whenever," you told him, and he ran out to the language block for French so that he wasn't late. You just had English downstairs, so it was a short walk for you. 

Exactly as he said, Lando trudged back up to the library halfway through lunch. "My French teacher is an absolute bitch. She kept me behind for ten minutes because apparently the way I say 'jouer' isn't French enough for her. We went through pronunciation for ages and said I need to work on it," he scoffed, plopping down in front of you and earning a glare from the librarian. 

"So are we doing French or maths today?" you chuckled, thinking he'd want to do French after his little outburst. 

"I would rather die than have to think of 'qu'est ce il y a dans ta ville' again," he mocked, purposely avoiding trying to pronounce the words right. "We're doing maths. And we're doing polynomial division. Because further maths is kicking my arse at the moment,"

"Sure, sure, OK. Get your book out," you told him, going into your bag to get your own maths book out. You had it last period, so you thankfully had all your stuff to hand.

"You know, I'd be much better at maths if I could sit with you again..." he said, hoping you'd catch onto what he was asking. It was true - his maths was a hell of a lot better when he had you to help him and guide him through it. 

"Are you asking if you can come back to your old place?"

"Yes. Yes I am." he confirmed. 

"Then yeah, I think you're good to move back to your old place," you confirmed, and the smile on his face was adorable. If you were being honest with yourself, you were also missing him in maths. The seat next to you had been left vacant, and you quite liked it that way.

But, having Lando there would've been a hell of a lot better than sitting by yourself. You enjoyed teaching him and it brought you a lot of satisfaction. It was nice to have that sense of fulfillment when you had shared your knowledge to someone, especially when it was Lando. 

 "So what is it about polynomial division that you don't get?" you asked, taking his book from him and looking at the half-done sums on the page.

"I get the first bit about putting x into x cubed, but from there? Nah," he told you, and you could see what he meant. He had gotten past step one, but had completely faltered on the rest of the maths.

"So now you want to times out your x squared by the -4 after the x and put that under there," you told him, pointing to the spot on the page where he needed to put in the multiplied terms and numbers. 

You talked Lando through the rest of the steps and went over a few more with him, before letting him go through a few himself. "Are you OK? You know, after earlier and everything. I don't want you thinking like that about yourself,"

"Oh, yeah, it was just a short thing. I was being silly," you shook your head, and Lando seemed to believe you. 

"Good. And... what do I do from this bit? Minus the 3?"

"No, plus. If you try to minus a minus, it turns into a plus, yeah?" you reiterated, and he instantly remembered the small maths fact. He just smiled at you, and you couldn't quite decipher what the look in his eyes was. It looked like some form of wonder, but you decided that that was just wishful thinking on your part. 

"You're something else, you know that?" he quietly said, and you wouldn't have caught it if you weren't in the near silence of the library. 

"Hm?" you asked, wanting to make sure you had heard what you thought you had heard. 

"Oh, nothing," he blushed, pretending like he was doing his maths while you sat there. Lando mentally scolded himself for the slip up, annoyed that he had let it leave his lips. It was a freudian slip, yes, but he wasn't going to admit that. 

He wanted to tell you again, and he wanted to tell you over and over and over again until you believed it, but he didn't want to push it too far. You had only just gotten back to normal, and he didn't want to ruin it just as quickly as he had gotten it back. 

You both worked in silence until you needed to go to your 4th lesson of the day, yours being Spanish and Lando's being chemistry. "Can I walk you there?" he asked, not caring if he was late for chemistry, he hated the lesson anyway.

"Sure," you agreed, packing up your stuff and walking by his side. Lando wanted to be able to reach out, intertwine his fingers with yours and feel the warmth of your hand. But again, that'd be too much far too soon. 

People gave you dubious glances as you walked through the corridors, and the people going into your class thought it was weird when Lando just stood outside with you when they knew he wasn't in their class. "Have a good lesson, yeah? I'll see you in maths," he smiled, leaning against the wall next to the classroom door. 

"Yeah, enjoy chemistry," you smiled at him, walking in and taking your seat. After spending all that time with Lando, you forgot one teeny weeny detail. You sat with Lilly in Spanish. Great. And the realisation kicked in when she took her seat next to you. 

Dread settled in the pit of your stomach, even if she didn't say anything for the first half of the lesson. The two of you didn't have any reason to talk, so you were perfectly happy with ignoring her existence and getting your lesson out of the way. 

Yet of course, you had to do partner work. The task was simple, it was just testing each other on vocab. One of you would give the English word, and the other would give the Spanish word back. But, it wasn't like you could get out of it or ask to move places, since that would be way too obvious. She didn't initiate the conversation, so you had to be the bigger person and start it.

"Do you want me to ask first or do you want to?" you asked, and she looked at you as if you had just thrown up on her. The disgust on her face was obvious, since she made no attempt to hide it. If anything, she was playing up to make you feel worse. 

"You can ask," she said, leaning back in her chair and folding her arms. You looked at the vocabulary that you had written down in your book, scanning through the different words.

"OK... what is the plot?" you asked, and she sighed.

"Don't know." Oh. So that was how this was going to go. OK, yeah, sure, you got the idea. 

"El argumento. What is the scene?" 

"Don't know." she said, looking bored as ever. She looked like she wanted to say something, but for whatever reason, she was holding her tongue. That wasn't like Lilly, not at all, so you were slightly surprised. 

"It's really easy, come on," you huffed, feeling quite frustrated that she was being so stubborn and pig headed. But it was Lilly, what else were you expecting? 

"Look, Y/N, if it wasn't already obvious, I don't like you, and I'm certainly not going to sit here and play classmates with you, OK?" she said in the way an adult would scold a child. 

"Good, because if it wasn't already obvious, I don't like you either. But I'm not going to sit here and be a bitch about it, OK?" you replied with the same tone, and you spotted the spark that ignited in her eyes. 

Did you slightly regret snapping back? Yes. But was it a little fun? Hell yeah. 

"Ha, please. I'm not a bitch, you're just delusional," she scoffed, rolling her eyes at you. Delusional? How had that come out of your previous sentence? Clearly noticing the confusion on your face, she spoke again. 

"Did you see that little show that Lando put on this morning? He's a good actor, isn't he? Mind you, it is quite pathetic that you believed it." she said, and you dropped your book down onto the table. 

"You and I both know that that is absolute-" 

"He just uses you, you know that? Ever since you've been 'friends', haven't you noticed that his grades in pretty much everything have gone up? He didn't mean a word of it," she spat, and it was like she had read your mind and brought back up the rest of your insecurities. 

She had triggered them earlier, and now she was doing it again. "Not so mouthy now, are we?" she grinned, clearly satisfied with your facial expression. 

You felt the familiar trepidation of seeing Lando next period coming back to the fore, and all you could muster was a simple, "And this is why nobody likes you."

"Lando seems to," she said after hearing your quip, but you both knew it was bullshit. At least that wasn't true. Or was it? You didn't know what was true in regards to you and Lando anymore. 

Did he really just use you to get his grades up? Was that all this was?

Spanish was over after a little while, but you went straight to your maths classroom so that you wouldn't have to see Lando during break. Your teacher wasn't there, so you just sat in your seat to think about things. 

She walked in after some time, you couldn't say how much time you had been sat there, but there were likely only a few minutes left until break was over.  "Y/N? What's wrong? Did something happen with Lando again?" she asked, seeing the look on your face. 

"Not with Lando. Well, not Lando directly, anyway." you mumbled, and she knelt down in front of your desk. 

"You can tell me," she said. Lando had said the exact same thing to you earlier in the day, but it didn't have the same effect coming from her. 

"It's fine, I've got it covered," you said, and she decided not to press the issue further. It wasn't long before the bell went and people started filtering in. Surprisingly, Lando was one of the first to walk in and came to his seat next to you. 

"Lando, to the back," your teacher said, and he instantly knew something was wrong. 

"Miss, it's fine, really," you reassured her, and Lando briskly took his seat beside you. He could tell the energy around you was off, and he was hell bent on getting to the bottom of it. 

Meanwhile, Lilly's words were storming through your head like a runaway freight train. 'He just uses you'. It had been a fear you had held for a while, albeit one that you had convinced yourself of being irrational.

Surely, there was no way he'd do that, right? There was no way he would hug you, drive you home, walk you to class, spend his free time on projects for you if he was just using you. People weren't overly nice to people they were exploiting. 

Or maybe he was just doing it to butter you up, keep you sweet for him. Keep his grades higher. Maybe he had figured out that his niceties got him favours from you, all of which involved help on his school work. 

Maybe he was what you initially thought he was when you first talked to him on that broken down bus. A character. A special version of Lando Norris, crafted just for you. The edition of him that would get him what he wanted in the most efficient manner. 

Maybe, just maybe, Lilly was right. Lando was the star actor, the leading role, the puppet master. And you were simply the one on the strings, dancing to whatever sick tune he played.  

While you were thinking, Lando let some of the lesson go by until you were set off to work on some questions. "What's wrong?" he asked straight up, turning his body so that he was facing you more. When you didn't answer him, he nudged your leg with his knee under the table. "Come on, I know something's wrong. Is it about earlier?"

'No, I've just come to the conclusion that you might be using me' was what you thought, but you still couldn't deduce whether it was just Lilly and your mind wreaking havoc on you, or if it was the uncovered truth.

"Tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours," he said, hoping to get some form of a smile from the compliment. He would take anything at this point. However, you gave him nothing. You kept your eyes trained on your paper, your pen mindlessly scribbling. 

"Was it Lilly?" he asked, and he saw the slight change in your expression. Well at least he knew something about what was going on with you. Even just the mention of it triggered the familiar, hot prickle of tears at the backs of your eyes. 

Lando spotted you welling up, and he knew he'd hit a sore spot. "Hey, no, I'm sorry for pushing, I'll stop, it's OK," he rambled, feeling panicked at the prospect of you crying. He had seen it a few times, and it was a few times too many. 

He also didn't want you to feel embarrassed by crying in the middle of class, especially not because of him. "You're OK, I'm sorry, it's OK," he tried to soothe as you tried to fight the tears back. 

Lando wished he could just hug you like he had before, since that seemed to take the pain away for a little bit. At least then, he wouldn't feel so useless and like he was just sitting by and watching you get upset. 

All he wanted was to hold you in his arms, make sure that no one else could ever hurt you again. But even then, it probably wouldn't be enough. "It's nothing," was all you could muster out, and something in Lando snapped. 

He was so frustrated, he didn't know what to do with himself. He tried to tear his eyes away from you, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He wanted to look at your pretty face all day. But, he left you alone, returning to his maths. 

Lando couldn't focus though, and time seemed to move unbelievably slowly while he was waiting for the lesson to end so that he could talk to you in a less public space. The bell had rung after an agonising half an hour, but you were too quick for him to catch as you practically ran out of the classroom. 

He couldn't spot you as you walked through the corridors, since the hoards of people leaving their lessons obstructed his view. Darting out of school, he saw the bus waiting, and he was meant to be catching it, but he didn't care about that right now. 

On the other side of the road, he saw you walking down the pavement with your headphones stuffed in your ears. He had to jog across the road as he was nearly ran over by a van, but that was the least of his worries right now. 

"Y/N!" he called out after you, but you clearly hadn't heard him over your music. That wasn't going to going to deter him, however, as he continued to jog down the pavement and started walking next to you. "Y/N, talk to me," he said, slightly huffing as he finally got to slow down.

"Hm? Oh," you mumbled as you heard him beside you, not knowing what to say. You didn't want to push him away, but you didn't want to be like this anymore. 

"C'mon, tell me, I'm here, there's no one around, it's just you and me," he tried to convince you. Stopping and turning to look a him, he saw the tears welling up in your eyes again, and he still didn't know what to do. 

"You can't just be my friend again, then suddenly stop talking to me and not even tell me why," he ranted, his frustration seeping through his words. 

"Look, I don't think we should be friends, Lando." you said, and he felt like his heart had stopped beating in his chest. 

What the hell had triggered this? Why were you thinking like this? And why wouldn't you tell him what was going on? He hoped that this was just some spur of the moment thing, that you were just upset and acting on impulses.

God, he couldn't take this again. Not again, he wouldn't let you walk away from him again. He wouldn't lose you again. He had lost you once and it had been the worst few days of his recent memory, and he wasn't going to let you slip away that easily.

"No, no, don't do that. Don't do this to me, don't be stupid," he scoffed, waiting for you to crack a smile and tell him you were kidding and that you were just a bit on edge from something or another. The smile never came. 

"Why? Why the fuck are you coming to this conclusion?" he continued, but the tears just started to silently fall down your cheeks. 

"Me being associated with you just brings us both unwanted stress and upset. Your friends take the piss out of you, everyone seems to take the piss out of me and I can't do it Lando. You're brilliant but I just can't do this anymore," you sobbed, trying to walk away from him. 

"No, no, you can't say that and not tell me what someone said to you," he pressed, grabbing your wrist and tugging you back so that you couldn't walk away from him. "I know it was Lilly, but you've gotta tell me what she said to you."

"She... nothing," you stuttered, and Lando's patience was wearing very damn thin. 

"No, don't try pull that bullshit with me, I will not have it. You're going to give me one good fucking reason right now or I will lose it with you," he said through gritted teeth.

"She said that you don't actually want to be my friend and that you just use me to get better grades and it got me thinking and-"

"And what?" he cut you off, "You really believe a word that slimy bitch says? Sure, you helping me with my work is great, I won't deny that, but I spend time with you for you. And you wanna know why? Because I think you're amazing. You're funny, pretty and a hell of a lot smarter than anyone should be." he carried on, and he realised by your facial expression that he may have said more than he was meant to, but he didn't care at this point.

"You... huh?" you said, the words replaying over in your head.  Was he meant to say that or was he still just trying to keep you attached to him?

"I said I think you're amazing and you're more to me than just a tutor. You're my friend. Dare I say one of my favourites because you never take the piss out of me, you're always nice to me, and being around you makes me happy. And you're too smart to believe a word she says." he reaffirmed.

Your eyes searched his face for any trace of dishonesty, any hint of a lie. Yet, it they found nothing. Not a speck of chicanery in sight. He kept saying all this stuff, and it was supposed to be exactly what you needed to hear. Then why wasn't it?

"Were you and Lilly ever anything?" you asked, the question slipping past your lips before you could even find it in yourself to stop it. You didn't even know why you cared - well, you did. The stallion of jealousy was rearing its ugly head, and there was no way that you could suppress it.

You liked him, you liked him a lot. And, even if he had only had something fleeting with Lilly, it still would have upset you. 

"No." he sharply and quickly answered. "Why the fuck would I ever-" he started, before cutting himself off with a sigh. Getting annoyed at you wasn't the best approach, even if you were making it damn impossible not to. "No. No I never and will never have anything with her." he said. 

"But still, people are still awful to me and to you," you whispered, trying to hold back even more tears. 

"That doesn't matter, not to me. I don't give a shit what people think, I just give a shit about you." he pleaded, hoping and praying that you weren't going to turn around and leave him.

Despite the clear sincerity in his voice, you couldn't bring yourself to believe him. As much as you desperately wanted to believe him, you couldn't. You needed to believe him, but you couldn't. 

The worst part was was that you knew the notion was completely absurd, but you believed it anyway. "Please don't do this..." he whispered, moving his hands to hold you at the top of your arms. God, he didn't want you to go. Not again. 

"I'm sorry, Lando..." you mumbled, shrugging away from his grip and pushing your headphones back into your ears. With every step you took, it felt like another stab to his already broken heart. 

Lando closed his eyes, unable to watch you walk away from him. "I thought you were the smartest person I knew, but it turns out you're the fucking dumbest," he called out after you, his voice cracking on the words. 

It was mean, sure, but he didn't care. What he did care about wa the fact that the only girl he had ever had real feelings for was walking away from him, and there was seemingly nothing he could do to bring you back. Nothing. 

A/N - Already 5k into the next part of this, and I'm sorry, I know it felt like it was just getting better. Alas, we're getting there. And happy birthday Lando! He may piss me off to no end, but damn do I love writing about him 💖

tag list: @cheriladycl01 @ln4swiftie @mariedeyes223 @ironmaiden1313 @daemyraforever56

[1toreyouapart]

The Lies We Tell

Summary that tells you nothing: Sometimes everything you ever wanted has been right there, within reach, all along.

CW/TW: Angst, fluff, swearing, friends to lovers, jealousy, smut, fingering, PinV, pet names, friends with benefits, more to come as I actually get things written out.

Masterlist

Why Do Men?

Quinn pushed the food around on her plate, barely listening to the man across from her. He was attractive enough, seemed kind. But good God, he was boring. From the moment she walked in he droned on and on about him and what he did for work, how much money he made. His big flashy car he had. Right now she was really hoping that Noah had asked her to stay with him instead. In fact, she had been sure that he would. Instead, he had rushed out of that bathroom and she hadn't seen him since. Not even when she knocked on his door before she left.

Him telling her she had shitty taste in men still stung a bit. Mostly because it was true. And who was it that picked up the pieces after every failed date? Every brief relationship that failed after three months? Noah. Always there to pick up the pieces and put her back together again. She was willing to bet he already had a whole thing planned for when she got home tonight, too.

"You're one of those goth girls, right?"

Quinn snapped out of her head. What the fuck was this guy on about?

"Excuse me?"

"I'm asking because you look like one. Tattoos, dark hair. Dark clothes." He leaned forward. "Bet you're into some kinky shit, too."

Her stomach turned. What the fuck? Did he really just say that? It didn't matter so much that she wasn't goth. Though, she definitely had more gothic tendencies than not. The sexualization of goth girls, however, was too much. It was vile. It was disgusting. God. Noah had been right.

"Mmmm. This date is over." Sighing, frustrated, she got up, pulling out her wallet. "Here's my half."

"Oh, come on. Don't be like that. It's just a question."

"Be like what? Bored out of my mind because you can't shut the fuck up about how great you think you are? Or irritated because you seem to think that goth women exist for your pleasure?" She threw the money down on the table, laughing. "See you never."

Satisfied she walked away, pulling her phone out. Everything in her screamed at her to call Noah, not an Uber. Noah would be there faster. But she didn't want to hear his "I told you so" just yet. That might set her off even more and she was trying not to cause a scene.

The cool night air hit her skin as the app told her a driver was on her way. 15 minutes until her ride arrived. Cursing she pulled up the text thread with Noah, debating texting him that he had been right. Just then, however, her date appeared in front of her, angry.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You're not even that pretty, anyway."

Quinn's stomach churned, her palms going sweaty as she glanced up and down the sidewalk. There were people. Lots of them. She should be safe, right? Fuck. What had Noah taught her? He had tried so hard to teach her how to defend herself. Now that the time may be here she couldn't remember a thing. Steeling herself for what may happen she lifted her chin, meeting the man's eyes.

"I said the date is over."

"You know, you should be grateful I even gave you the time of day. I make more money in a year than you ever will in your life."

She laughed. Genuinely deeply laughed. This guy wasn't going to attack her. His ego might be bruised, but that's as far as it would go. The type of guy that used his wealth to get sex. If he even actually made that much money.

"Says the grown ass man crying because the girl that 'isn't even that pretty.' Do you even hear yourself right now?"

"Whatever. Good luck finding a man that'll put up with you."

She watched as he walked off, ignoring the tiny crack in her armor that last comment had made. So many failed dates. Nothing lasting more than three months in the last seven years. Maybe he was right and there was something just inherently wrong with her. Her track record definitely spoke to that.

Her phone lit up, letting her know her ride had arrived just as a vehicle with an Uber sign in the window showed up. Thank fucking God. All she wanted right now was her pajamas, a movie, and her best friend.

Tags: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard

[walmartbrandwhatever]

There’s this one jump that Marcia can’t get right, so she works herself to the bone trying to perfect it, and every time she falls she just hears trips voice in her ear telling her that it isn’t good enough. Two bit coming to pick her up for dinner but her telling him that she can’t stop practicing, and when he tries to convince her to go with him she just yells at him- they stand there for a moment then she breaks down crying in this arms. I’m going insane.

Her falling back into the same cycle will always make me so sick. Her just not being able to land this jump. She's just utterly exhausted at that point, she hasn't eaten and she's just mentally beating herself up. OMG Imagine like this causes her to first telling him about trip and how he would yell at her and hes just utterly horrified.

Note: I was cooking so hard this turned into a small drabble so I apologize that it took me so long to answer.

Note: another thing tumblr kept deleting my work so I had to take a step back bc I got upset 😔

By the time Two-Bit enters the rink, he sees Marcia attempt some jump he couldn't remember the name of and fall. He watches her for a second, and the clear frustration is written all over her face as she smacks the ice next to her before pushing herself up and preparing to try it again. He glances around the rink, there was no one other person there than her. Making his way to the entrance of the rink, he called out to her to make sure she at least knows he's there and ended up with no response.

With a sigh, he stops at the opening of the rink and watches her try the jump again and fail it again. He knows she's too exhausted to even do the jump right. He calls out to her again, and thankfully, this time, she turns to him, her face scrunched up as her chest rises and falls far too fast. "C'mon Mar, you ain't goin' to get that jump right. Not tonight. Plus you promised me a dinner doll. " A soft smile rested on his face, and he slowly fell the second he realized that she wasn't even planning on leaving any time soon.

"I can't. I'm sorry Two, I can't get this jump, and I need to perfect it. Maybe another time."

She offers him a half ass attempt of a smile before turning and preparing to try the jump again. "You're never going to get it, Mar, not today, at least. Look, I know you want to get it, but you're exhausted, and I bet you haven't paused to eat anything. Just-"

"You don't know shit Keith." She snapped, turning towards him again. He has never heard Marcia yell, let alone at him, so it catches him by complete surprise.

"You what? Know the basics? You don't get it, and you never will. You'll just know You'll never be good enough no matter where you go!" They both just stand there for a moment staring at each other. Two-bit knows that her anger is directed towards herself. He could see the millions of voices screaming at her, telling her the exact words she just told him. For a moment, she reminded him of Darry. God knows how much that boy works himself into the ground. There was one time after a long practice where Two had tried to get Darry to take a break. Darry had turned and yelled at him. At first, Two-bit was hurt, but standing their wide-eyed, he had seen the pain and anger Darry had, and now here he was standing and looking at Marcia, who held the same look in her eye. Well the anger long gone, just replaced by guilt.

She looked like a ghost when the words she said must’ve hit her because her face drops and she looks just about ready to cry. "Shit, I'm sorry - I," she pushes herself over towards him, guilt written all over her. He took a second to gather his thoughts. He knew she didn't mean it. More than likely, she meant it towards herself.

He gave her a small squeeze before attempting to pull away. He stopped the second he heard a small sob. His eyebrows furrowed,

" it's alright, ain't the first time i've been yelled at. Look, I know you're upset, but let's just take a second to breathe. " he took a deep breath and let it out. She followed his actions, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. "There we go. Are you good now?" He watched as she fought back the tears that rolled down her face. Panic quickly filled his body. He hadn’t meant to make her cry. "Hey, hey-hey, whoa, it's alright," he stepped forward, pulling her into a hug.

She wrapped her arms around him tightly, just sobbing into his chest. The genuine pain in her sobs made his heart squeeze because all he wanted was to take all her pain away. He wasn't sure what had gotten her so shook up. The genuine look of fear on her face caught him off guard.

They had stood there for a while, him gently rubbing her back as she cried. Once she seemed to calm down for the most part, he pulled back a bit, just enough to see her face. "Mar hey c'mon talk to me, what's wrong?" She wasn't looking at him. It was the first thing he noticed. Her eyes just burned holes at his chest and her mouth opening and closing a few times before she spoke up. "I'm sorry for yelling at you- God you didn't deserve that.."

"Hey, it's alright, I forgive you. Truly, it happens to the best of us, " his eyes darting around her face, looking for any hints that would tell him what was wrong. "You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but it might help."

That's when she told him about her old partner. At some point, they had sat down as she spoke. Told him about how when things got real stressful, most practices were just her getting screamed at. Yelled at about something that she had done wrong. She then started apologizing and explaining how she could just hear him screaming and the frustration building like it had back then.

It horrified him. Hearing her not only talk about some guy berating her but also berating herself. He gently grabbed her hand and just stared at her for a moment. Marcia took a heavy breath before looking over at him. "Marcia, you never deserved that." Her eyes searched his face, probably trying to find any deceit. "But only if-"

"No, buts. You didn't deserve that point blank no matter how much stress he might’ve been through." Most people think he couldn't be serious, mostly since he's always joking around even in most serious moments, but he can, and in this very moment, he was showing that. He knew Marcia wouldn't believe him, maybe not for a while, but he needed her to know that she didn't deserve getting yelled at. "You swear?"

"I promise. Now how about that dinner?"

She smiled softly, standing up from where she was sitting. For a moment, he thought she was just gonna throw herself back onto the rink, but she headed towards her bag. "Yeah, yeah, just let me pack up"

Watching her unlace her skates and place them onto the bench, he knew that it would all work out. That one day they'd be living life good hand in hand.

[maccreadysbaby]

Project: Killcode

batfamily + oc insert

tw: none

wanna read more? here’s the table of contents!

want to read the first fic in the hundred days series so you understand what’s going on here? here it is!

I am in pain writing my boys like this

part thirty-two

❝ EFFORT ❞

MONDAY — JULY 30 — 5:02AM

AFTER AN EVENTFUL DAY OF NEVER COMING OUT OF BELLAMY’S ROOM, BENTLEY WOKE UP ON MONDAY MORNING LAYING BACK TO BACK WITH HIM. 

And the first thing he thought about was Bruce.

He wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him everything so bad — about the parties and the nightmares and the teachers and Tyler and Chloe and the (maybe?) Secret Keeper and his father. He wanted to just lay it all out at his feet so he didn’t have to deal with it alone anymore… but he couldn’t.

Because if he did, Bruce would come get them and take them home, and someone else would move into the dorm. He’d never see any of them again.

He had to show Bruce that he could do this no matter what kind of problems he had — he was thirteen, and he could deal with his issues by himself. He didn’t always need his dad or his brothers to swoop in and do it for him; he was capable. More than capable.

So for now, he decided, not a Wayne in the world would know a thing. Would it be easier on him if they did? Sure. But getting whisked home to live a life of solitude while every other teenager in the world did whatever they wanted didn’t sound like an ideal situation. Plus, he was pretty sure he’d have lost his mind if he didn’t stop homeschooling when he did.

It was okay. He was okay. Everyone was okay. Everything was okay.

He’d just focus on school — it was a good enough distraction. He did have seven classes to survive, and nine friendships to maintain.

(Or eight, if… Asten didn’t want to talk to him.)

So he decided that’s what he was gonna do. Just be a teenager, and try his best to forget about all the existential dread stuff.

He woke up, blocked the number his father had called him from, and left Bellamy’s room to go get ready. 

It was only a little after five, so he was able to get into his room and do everything he needed without waking Asten up, which was nice — because he wasn’t sure where they stood. They hadn't talked at all since the fight, but Bentley did end up in bed arrest in Bellamy's room, so he guessed it wasn't really either of their faults.

He grabbed his bag and all of his things out of his room and left, shutting the door softly behind him. Should he go back in Bellamy's room? Or just sit and the dining table and do something silent?

That moment was about when his phone vibrated in his hand.

The name on the text message was Chloe Singh. (He'd changed it almost immediately after she gave it to him.) It said: Hey, meet me at the fountain at 530?

He didn't even have time to think about replying before a second one came: Or at breakfast, if you're not a psycho that wakes up at 430 for school like me.

Bentley hummed to himself, typing a quick response.

Just text me when you're ready. I'm already dressed and all.

He hardly had time to look away before another message blipped onto the screen. Oh, okay! I'm ready then, haha.

With a faint little smile and a shrug, Bentley made sure he slid his keycard into his phone case and made for the door, leaving the dorm with his schoolbag in the dark.

When he made it down the stairs and the several sidewalks it took to get to the fountain with the willows, Chloe was already there in her uniform with her bag. Her blonde hair was tied up halfway with a black ribbon, and pin-straight so it looked extra long. She glanced back at him when she heard him approach and sent him a friendly wave, which he returned.

Were they technically friends now? How many times did you have to cry in front of someone before you became friends?

With that on his mind, Bentley made for the bench she was on, dropping his bag near his feet and taking a seat next to her.

"Good morning," She said quietly, eyes focused on campus staff that seemed to be moving something into the art building across the way, past the willow trees.

"Good morning," He replied.

"Listen, I just... wanted to apologize for Saturday night," She sighed, looking down at her lap and deflating slightly, a stark comparison to how confident she looked in class or the halls. "I had a massive breakdown and it was really weird. I word vomited so many unnecessary details."

Bentley shook his head, glancing over at her. "Don't apologize. We all have our moments. I, in particular, have had at least thirty since I moved into Redwood."

Chloe glanced at him, furrowing her brow. "I never imagined Bruce Wayne's heir would have moments."

"I wasn't always his," Bentley shrugged, forcing his father's voice out of his mind, focusing on Chloe's brown eyes that were watching him. "Anyways, it's no problem. Breakdowns suck, but they suck even worse if you're alone."

She blinked and looked away, then back. "That's why I wanted to say thank you," She continued, glancing down at her hands, fiddling with her fingers. "For being there for me. I... can honestly say I don't have anyone else, as pitiful and attention seeking as that sounds. Living a double life is really hard when everyone only knows the fake part."

Bentley watched her breathe in deep, then blow it out. "Anyways, not to get all pitiful. I think I have the rumors handled on my end... my roommates were the only ones who knew I was going to meet you, and they swore they wouldn't say anything. What about yours?"

"Only two know I was gone, and they won't say anything," Bentley shrugged. "I think we're safe."

A beat passed.

"Thank God," Chloe exhaled, brushing her long blonde hair over her shoulder. "I'd never forgive myself if a chimp like Tyler Abbott got ahold of information like that. He'd have the entire campus believing whatever he wanted about us in, like, ten seconds."

Bentley didn't reply.

"Hey, you okay?" She continued, lowering her volume just a little. "You seem preoccupied."

Bentley shook his head in an attempt to shake himself back into the present and out of whatever routine of self loathing his mind was trying to put him in. "Yeah, just pretty drained. I've been really stressed lately."

"I'm sorry..." Chloe mumbled, and Bentley shrugged.

"It's not your fault," He continued, waving her off. "What about you? Were you okay after the other night?"

Chloe shrugged. "Same... just kinda drained. Emotions and their stupid, stupid existence have a way of doing that. But I'm feeling okay now. Practice for cheer tryouts starts after school today, so I pretty much am required to be okay."

A beat passed.

"So... did you and Layla end up having fun at the dance?" She questioned, looking across the way at the willows, a little hint of something he couldn't quite place filtering through into her words.

Bentley shrugged. "It was okay, but I... didn't go with her. I went with my roommates. To see the band that was playing."

"Oh," Chloe nodded to herself.

Another few moments of quiet passed.

"I... wanted to ask you something," Chloe started, turning to face him slightly on the bench, getting this... he wasn't sure. Embarrassed sort of look on her face. "You can totally say no if you want to; I know I'm not the easiest person to stomach."

"What is it?" Bentley questioned, turning toward her a little, too.

Chloe breathed in and out. "I know I was really mean and weird and stuff when we met, and I don't have any clever excuses to talk myself out of that. But I still... wanna be friends with you, if you want."

Bentley watched her nervously tuck a piece of hair behind her left her, her brown eyes straying down to the bench they were on.

"Yeah... I'd like that," Bentley replied, watching her anxiously pick at her nails. "But you... I don't want it to be some kind of ploy for your mom. If we're gonna be friends, I just... want to be friends. Not for anybody else."

"A hundred percent," Chloe nodded. "She won't have a clue I'm even talking to you anymore. She seems to have moved on in her searching for my perfect future divorce since I blew it with you already. Which means we're in the clear."

Bentley hummed in acknowledgment, glancing at her for a moment more before looking out at the trees again. "Can I ask an awkward question?"

"Sure," Chloe shrugged. "Can't be more awkward than me word vomiting my entire life's story, and my mothers."

Bentley found it in himself to chuckle at that. "I was just... wondering. Since you were only kinda acting, did you... mean what you told me? In class?"

Chloe glanced over at him quickly, her brow furrowed, before she seemed to realize what he meant. Her face flushed pink and she looked the other way. "That you're hot? I-I mean, yeah, I guess..."

Bentley didn't say anything.

"God, why can't I talk to you?" She mumbled, resting her elbows on her knees and dropping her head into her hands with a nervous little laugh. "It's so weird. Being, like, real. I always know what to say when I'm pretending."

Bentley shrugged. "Maybe you should... not pretend."

"I can't do that!" She said suddenly, sitting up. "My mother would disown me if I even thought about acting contrary to how she wants."

Bentley hummed. "How does she know what you act like here at school?"

Chloe looked up at him, a cringe spreading across her face. "She's the assistant Dean. She lives on campus."

Bentley blinked. "Oh..."

"Yeah..." Chloe shook her head. "I literally can't get away from her and her prying eyes through the school-day. That's why I wanted to talk to you now, before the day starts."

Bentley couldn't even imagine his father watching him like a hawk like that. When he first went to the Wayne's to, quote-on-quote, destroy them, he could hardly fathom the anxiety caused by the fact that his father may have possibly been watching. But Chloe's mom, putting her up to something out of greed, punishing her when she failed, watching her to make sure she was perfect... maybe they weren't so different after all.

Bentley didn’t say anything for a few minutes.

“So, are you liking it so far, here? I’ve heard Gotham is way different from New York,” She questioned. (How many times was he going to be asked that question?)

He shrugged. “New York is really cool. I like it here. It feels more… alive.”

Chloe nodded, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “There’s so much that goes on, it's hard to get away from it all. That's why I like it so much here.”

Another beat passed.

“So, if it's not off limits, what are your powers?” Bentley questioned, glancing over at her. “I haven’t seen or heard anything about them.”

“Oh, I…” Chloe started, looking off at the trees ahead of them. “I… uh…”

Bentley could recognize discomfort when he saw it. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“No, I just…” She trailed off, breathing deep and holding it for a second, then exhaling. “I don’t have any.”

Bentley furrowed his brow. Wasn’t Redwood only for metahumans?

“My sisters do, and I have the genes for it, I just… they… haven’t appeared yet. My mom says that sometimes it takes a lot to make them show up,” Chloe shrugged. 

Bentley vaguely remembered hearing something about that when he was dealing with the whole Dr. Keene disaster -- it was like how Nico’s super speed only started to show up after he learned he was adopted, and only really showed up after he got kidnapped and put in a big machine that messed with his DNA. He remembered that metahumans finding their powers was… usually due to trauma.

He wasn’t quite sure what that said about the rest of the Redwood students. But maybe it was a good thing that Chloe didn’t have hers.

“I guess we’ll just have to see, then,” Bentley shrugged.

“I guess so…”

They fell into a comfortable silence, looking out at the willow trees in front of them.

Okay.. maybe Bentley had ten friendships to maintain.

--

When breakfast came around, Bentley sat across the table from Asten.

They didn’t say anything to each other. Bentley looked over at him a few times, but he was always talking to Rockie, or looking down at the table, or across the room. Valor was watching the both of them -- Bentley noticed his gaze a few times, calculating, contemplating -- but when Bentley’s eyes met his, it always switched to a supportive smile, faint enough to go missed by everyone else but present enough to be a little comforting.

Bentley and Asten didn’t talk at lunch, either.

And when music theory came around, Asten only spoke to Rockie, and Bentley only spoke to Vera, and in free period, Asten sat with Rockie, and Bellamy and Valor sat with Bentley. It was…

Weird.

He went to practice soccer with Varian and Koa, and they talked about nothing and everything. He went to dinner, where Asten deliberately ignored him even though they were within whispering distance from one another. And then he did his homework at the dining table, and listened to his roommates talk, and hung out, and texted Chloe, and went to bed without saying anything to his best friend who was sleeping one bunk away.

As wrong as it felt, Bentley was the one who’d been right. Asten was a hypocrite and all the lovely things Bentley had said in his anger fueled haze. So, for this one time, for the first time in his life, he wasn’t going to allow himself to apologize.

If Asten wanted to talk to him, Asten was going to have to put in the effort.

And as far as Bentley could tell, right now, he didn’t care very much.

--

tag list that never works lmao

@fleur-alise @sarcopterygiian @gayboss-too-close-to-the-sun

@xiaonothere

@skylathescholarly @flyrobinflyy

[elizabeth-mitchells]

JUST FINISHED WATCHING THE JULIET BURKE SCENES COMPILATION!!!! CRIED!!!!!!!

[twpsyn-who]

Today on "Another JeanMarco Soulmate AU absolutely no one asked for" I present to you -

Soulmate AU in which you stop seeing colors when your soulmate dies, the only exception being your soulmate. Now cue to Jean who just found Marco's, his best friend's, body. And you know, there's the shock of finding out Marco's dead. The pain and confusion and guilt. But there's also the revelation, because despite everything he can still see Marco like nothing took place at all- yes, half of his face is missing and his body is straight up lifeless, but Jean can still make out the color of his eye ; see that light shade of brown perfectly, remember all the times he has found himself looking at them while listening to Marco talk. He can still make out the colors of his uniform, see the same shade of black his hair has always had, practically see. Despite being dead, Marco was the only piece of color left in his life.

And there's denial for a moment because there's no way Marco was his soulmate. But that goes away fast, getting replaced by guilt. By the fact that he hasn't been there to save him, that Marco has to die all alone without anyone being there for him.

And that was worse than the simple fact that he could no longer see colors ; because Marco was there when Jean needed him, but he failed to do the same. And not only he lost his best friend that day, but his other half too.

[kelpiemomma]

The screaming had lasted for hours.

Not screaming like someone was dying; Ingo would have intervened if that were the case.

In some ways, the argument he could almost hear was worse.

The twins had come round with Cori and Razz, picking up Akari and Rei and taking them out for ice cream when it had started. Ingo had asked Davis about it who had, reasonably, looked uncomfortable.

"Dizzy loves our brother, she really, really does. But she... takes his lifestyle personally. They're very similar like that." Davis had responded quietly. "It's an old argument with no end. This happens- not normally in front of the kids, so Khan had us take them out of the house when she started winding up, and Cor asked if we could grab Akari for ice cream and..."

Ingo had let them go, sitting at home and listening. He couldn't hear the words but he could hear the tone. How angry Dizzy was, how it would go quiet and then there would be another outburst. Only a handful of times did Khan raise his voice in return at his sister, but never for very long. Ingo couldn't remember having any arguments like that with Emmet. He didn't remember their childhood, but the memories he had recovered of their teenage years and before his accident... he didn't think he and his twin had ever been quite so volatile.

Then again, there had been no signs of this sort of conflict between the oldest siblings either. If he wasn't hearing it, he'd never have thought they'd fight like this. Given the lack of interference from the rest of the neighborhood he wagered Davis was right, and that the best way to deal with this storm was simply to ride it out.

When the argument finally ended he was standing by his window that looked into his neighbor's front yard, worried. Dizzy stormed out with Khan following quickly behind. Ingo had never seen him look so... small. It was hardly a word one would associate with the young man, given his height and stature, and yet it was the only word Ingo could think of to describe him.

He watched as Khan reached for his sister, only for her to turn and slap his hand away.

“Why can’t you even try, you self-sacrificing bastard? You never even try!”

She stomped down the sidewalk, slamming the door to her car shut before turning it on and pulling out at a decidedly unsafe speed. Ingo watched as Khan stared after her, shoulders still slumped, before he put a hand up to his face and turned to walk back into his home.

Maybe it would be better to leave well enough alone, to pretend he hadn’t overheard… _that,_ but Khan was… well. Khan was his friend. Things may have been shaky to start with between them, but they had smoothed out. Khan knew about Ingo’s amnesia and never once judged him for it. Now, Ingo knew about… this.

Still. He hesitated before walking out of his own home and down the sidewalk to his neighbor’s, glancing around at the rest of the homes on the street. Blinds were slowly opening, curious eyes peeking through to see what still stood in the wake of the hurricane argument. The door to Khan’s home was unlocked when he tried the handle and Ingo slowly opened the door.

“Khan?” He called out.

There was a sniffling sound, a familiar hitch of breath.

“Yeah?” Khan’s voice was thick and low when he replied. “What’s up, need something fixed?”

“No, I…” Ingo shut the door behind him. The house was in one piece. For all the screaming and noise it appeared that nothing had been broken. The argument may have sounded violent but nobody had gotten physical. “I heard what happened and I was wondering if you were… alright.”

“Oh, you… you heard that?” Khan hadn’t come out to find him and so Ingo continued towards his voice instead. “Well,  yeah. They could probably hear that on the moon.”

“Possibly. I was unaware that Dizzy’s volume could rival my own.”

Khan was sat in the kitchen, slouched down in one of the chairs he’d built by hand. A byproduct of one of the many jobs he’d taken to keep his siblings fed, homed, and safe. He still looked, to Ingo’s dismay, small. Defeated. Deflated of all life.

“Yeah, she’s got some pipes on her. Always has. About burst my eardrums when she was a toddler, the way she’d howl when she threw a fit.”

One hand was rubbing at his face and his shoulders were still shaking intermittently. Ingo paused, uncertain, before he rested a hand on Khan’s shoulder.

“I don’t know what happened, but if you’d like to talk about it… or if you’d prefer, I can leave?”

Khan was silent long enough that Ingo prepared to straighten up, head out the door, and pretend this had never happened.

Khan leaned forward, rubbed his eyes again, and shook his head.

“You can stay,” he said quietly, and Ingo pretended he didn’t see the tears falling onto the floor, “it’s fine. You can stay.”

[bisaster-energy]

cas voice im not your father belphegor voice yeah sorry about that

[orcelito]

perhaps also related to the fact that i am scheduled to close this weekend with the person who was apparently laughing about how a year ago there was a supervisor chat without me Specifically for the purpose of shit talking me

and im supposed to treat her graciously after that? get Fucking real.

[mer-se]

Prima facie round two. 5/17 🎭🤍

[lakemichigans]

okay i knew jack killed mary with his powers somehow but i didn't realize it was this dumb 😭 not to be like "jack did nothing wrong" but kinda yeah?? mary judged him so harshly for... taking out the serial killer who was trying to resurrect lucifer and bring on the apocalypse 2 electric boogaloo? and then he tried walking away from her while she was yelling but mary followed him and i get why she did, because she was partially worried about him and didn't want to leave him alone, but he just needed a minute to cool down. all the adults in this situation are the reason he ended up with no soul in the first place. jack is literally only 2 years old.... how is he supposed to have impulse control especially with no soul... this is why i'm baby jack truthing because if an actual 2 year old accidentally killed a person you wouldn't hold it against them because you would know they couldn't possibly have done it intentionally. and obviously i get that jack doesn't have the mind of a two year old but he doesn't have the mind of an adult either and it's very strange how the writers seem to bend what he knows & doesn't know to their will whenever it's convenient.

this show is ridiculous why am i bothering to say any of this fksjkfksf i'm compelled though. the rest of the season was good

[malachitezmeyka]

I know it's useless to get mad at the dog, she's just a hyperactive little thing who doesn't know how to behave yet. She's left home alone for at least 6 hours every day and she's bored, I can't blame her for tearing apart her training pads or shitting all over the place. Even if I did, she must have done it hours ago, dogs don't get that actions that happened so long ago have consequences and all me yelling at her will result in is her being scared of me. I know all that, I do

So WHY am I still so angry at her?? Why does it feel satisfying to lash out and see her scurry away??? She doesn't deserve to be treated like that, she doesn't know any better. And I don't know how to teach her to know better, I don't have the patience for it. She deserves better than me

[puppmeo]

Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody

[tjerra14]

petition for my brain to just Not

[masterhallmark]

Rant incoming

I feel like the problem with a lot of Disney's live action remakes (and arguably Wish) is they're trying to appeal to a crowd that no longer exists, namely the people who used to claim that the Disney Princesses were sexist.

All the interviews tend to include, "Well she's not chasing a MAN anymore" which...almost no one sees the princesses like that, anymore. Virtually NO ONE still believes the princesses are man-chasing sexist caricatures of women.

Cinderella is now hailed as an abuse victim who stayed strong long enough to get help to get out of her situation. Anyone who says she should have saved herself is basically regarded as a victim blamer. And it's very clear in the film she wasn't looking to marry the prince, she just wanted a night off. She was the only one who wasn't in line to meet him. She didn't find out she met the prince until he went looking for her!

Snow White is now hailed for her negotiation skills, ability to calm down after extreme stress (she had a moment of panic and had to cry for a bit, but who wouldn't after finding out The Queen hired someone to kill you?), and ability to take charge of a house of adult men. And again, she was an abuse victim, this time trying to escape ASSASSINATION ATTEMPTS. While she dreamed of her prince, it was secondary to her main goal of SURVIVAL. There are also entire video essays about how Snow White gave hope to people during The Great Depression.

Everyone acknowledges that Ariel wanted to be human BEFORE meeting Eric. We all know she was a nerd hyperfixating on humans, and also standing up to her prejudiced father.

We understand Sleeping Beauty wasn't the main character, the Three Good Fairies were, AND PHILLIP WOULD NEVER HAVE BEATEN MALEFICENT WITHOUT THEM! He literally depended on them! WOMEN SAVED THE DAY! But even then, is it really such a sin for a girl to fantasize about romance and fall for someone with corny pickup lines?

We all understand Jasmine just wanted someone to treat her LIKE A PERSON. She rejected every Prince before Aladdin because they treated her like a prize. So why did they need her to want to be Sultan? How did that make her more feminist when she already wanted to be treated like an equal and have a say in her future? Is it only empowering if you want a career in politics?

We admire that Belle, despite living in a judgemental village, was kind to everyone (even though she found the village life dull), and her story teaches girls that the guy everyone else loves isn't always a good guy. What's sexist about teaching girls about red flags? And she didn't start being nice to The Beast until he started treating her with respect and kindness.

Do I really NEED to defend Mulan or Tiana? I think they speak for themselves.

Rapunzel was yet another abuse victim who just needed a little help to get out of her bad situation. In this case, she also needed to learn that she was an abuse victim, and that what Mother Gothel did WASN'T normal, much like many victims of gaslighting.

And don't get me started on the non-princess animals.

Perdita had a healthy relationship with Pongo to the point she was open to express her pregnancy fears to him, and was ready to TEAR APART Cruella's goons for daring to touch her puppies as well as adopting the other puppies. Like, she was so ferocious the goons mistook her for a hyena! She's basically that "I AM THAT GIRL'S MOTHER!" scene from SpyXFamily if Yor were a dog. She and her husband were a TEAM.....but they made a Cruella live action to turn her into a girlboss?! The literal animal abuser!? THAT'S the woman you wanted to put on a pedestal when Perdita was RIGHT THERE!?

Duchess kept her kittens calm after they had been catnapped and was classy as heck. Nice to everyone regardless of social class during a time period where that was uncommon.

Lady stood up to Tramp when she believed he had abandoned her and didn't really care about her. She found out he was a heartbreaker and was like, "Nuh uh. No. You are not doing that to me! You put me through enough."

Miss Bianca from The Rescuers was IN CHARGE the whole movie, and was willing to risk life and limb to save an innocent child. THAT TINY MOUSE TOOK ON ALLIGATORS! And she picked Bernard to accompany her because he was the only one who wasn't ogling her. And then in the sequel SHE DID IT ALL AGAIN! I wish I were as brave as her.

Like, the public haven't accused these ladies of being sexist caricatures since 2014 (Actresses and actors don't count, they're out of touch like the rest of Hollywood) yet Disney is operating under the assumption that the public still thinks that way, hence all the "sHe'S nOt AfTeR a MaN iN ThIs VeRsIOn" talk.

The live action remakes are trying to attract an audience that doesn't really exist much, anymore, and back when it did exist, was comprised mainly of people who didn't actually watch the films. The Disney princesses are no longer seen as sexist, and feminine qualities are no longer seen as weak or undesirable.