#is anyone else just tired or this merry go round

[carlos-tk]

so tim minear still sucks

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) || Chapter 14a (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14b (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14c (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 15a (Dreams) || Chapter 15b (I Sing A Song of Love) || Chapter 15c (You Can Do This If You Try) || Chapter 16 (Let That Feeling Grab You Deep Inside || Chapter 17A: Never Tear Us Apart || Chapter 17B: It’s Tough To Be Somebody, And It’s Hard Not To Fall Apart  || Chapter 17C: I’m Wishing, Lord, That I Was Stoned || Chapter 18: Turn The Page || Chapter 19A: When You’re Alone, Do You Let Go? || Chapter 19B: Heading For A Spin || Chapter 20A: I Don’t Need Nothing When I’m By Your Side || Chapter 20B: I’m Walkin’ Down This Rocky Road || Chapter 20C: You're The Only One Who Gets Through To Me || Chapter 20D: Together We Can Make It A Dream ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 20E: My Main Objective Is To Get You To Turn Your Mind Around

You are in my system Got me right down to the wire You are in my system Help my equilibrium You are in my system…

 -- “You Are In My System,” Robert Palmer (1983) [click here to listen]

North Carolina || February 1989

Raymond scribbled on a fresh sheet in his notebook. Absently running his hand through his hair. Clearly thinking.

“All right,” he said, after a while. “Before I walk you through my plan – I need to ask you something. Both of you.”

“Anything,” Claire replied instantly.

“I need you to commit to this. To therapy. To getting better and stronger, as individuals and as a couple.”

“Of course,” Jamie breathed.

“Yes,” Claire echoed.

Raymond tilted his head, just a bit. “What I am going to ask of you will be a significant commitment of time and energy and effort. Obviously we’ll need to modify things to account for travel, but you need to agree to prioritize this.”

“Yes, I agree.” Jamie reached across the table for Raymond’s notebook. He flipped to an empty page, wrote I commit to Raymond’s plan, signed his name and wrote the date. He pulled back to let Claire sign her pledge and name as well.

“You don’t know what you’re agreeing to yet,” Raymond said quietly.

Jamie met his skeptical gaze. “It doesn’t matter. You’re here for a reason. I – we – want your help. So whatever you recommend, I will commit to doing.”

“Me too,” Claire added, pushing the notebook back across the table.

Raymond cleared his throat. “Well then. On typical days I’d like to have three sessions. Half an hour with each of you individually, and then an hour with both of you together. With the individual sessions taking place before our group session.”

“We can definitely do that.” Claire gripped Jamie’s hand on top of the table. “What do you think?”

Jamie nodded. “Yes. We will make it work. This is important. And you’ll of course be available if we need more time?”

“Definitely. To the extent you want time with me, I will make myself available. Nobody else – not your bandmates, Colum, not anyone on the crew – will be a client. I will quite literally be on call for you, 24/7. Jamie, if you start to have a panic attack, I don’t care what time it is or where we are, if you’re comfortable with me being there then I want to be there to help you.”

“And to support Claire,” Jamie added. “I won’t put all of that burden on her. It’s not fair to her.”

Claire squeezed her husband’s hand.

Raymond pivoted to face Claire across the table. “And Claire – I’m here for you in equal measure. I know you’re still adjusting to your sobriety. And I doubt you’ve worked through all of the trauma associated with your ex-husband.”

Claire swallowed. Jamie pulled her a little closer.

“So – if it ever feels too much, and especially if you start feeling like you’re losing a sense of yourself, when you’re so far away from home, and so out of your element…I want you to come to me. I want you to talk it through with me. And when you’re ready, we can talk with Jamie about it.”

She nodded, grateful.

“This goes without saying, but I’ll need you to continue to be as honest and open with me as possible. Our therapy isn’t going to work, otherwise. I’ve had clients in the past who struggled to be honest, and it ended up undermining their recovery. Especially the addicts.”

Claire poured a fresh glass of water for Raymond. He drank it all at once. Clearly choosing his next words very carefully.

“I will never judge you for anything you do or say – about your past or present selves. But the more you share, the more I can help you. And nothing you say to me will ever make its way to anyone else. Not Colum, not Ian and Angus, certainly not the crew. Definitely not the press. I’m bound by my professional code of ethics. And of course I’d never put you in that position.”

“Thank you,” Jamie breathed. “I want so hard for the most important things in my life to stay private.”

“But,” Raymond added, “If something comes up in one of our individual sessions that I think would benefit being discussed in our group session, I hope you’ll give me your permission to raise it. You’re already very open with each other, which makes my job easier. But I’m sure that both of you have things you haven’t told the other person about. So, I want you to know that if I bring up something one of you told me, in the presence of the other person, it’s purely because I want to get to the heart of a topic. To prompt a fruitful discussion.”

“I’m all right with that. I want to get better.” Jamie looked at Claire. Raised their joined hands to his lips, for a kiss. “I want us to get better, and stronger.”

“All the more reason to be honest with each other, and with me. Because as my favorite medical school professor told us – honesty has room for secrets, but not for lies. Do you agree?”

Jamie and Claire nodded.

Raymond smiled kindly. “I am so glad to have this opportunity to help and support you, at such this pivotal moment in your lives.”

Jamie laughed. “Don’t thank us yet. See how you feel in August, when you’ve been on the road for four months and you’re in bumfuck nowhere in Scandinavia and the blackout curtains won’t work in the hotel so that you can sleep.”

Raymond flipped to a new sheet in his notebook, smiling. “I’m going to recommend you do something, Jamie. Earlier we were talking about how it’s good to get a little separation sometimes.”

Jamie nodded, curious.

“I’m suggesting that you go out to L.A. in two and a half weeks, but on your own, with Claire staying here. She may fly out, let’s say, the final week. Or maybe not at all. What would you think about that?”

Jamie pursed his lips. Jaw clenching.

“I know why you’re suggesting it, Raymond. But…”

Raymond let the moment stretch. Watching, with Claire, Jamie process his thoughts.

“I want to say, no, I’ll never agree to that. I can’t go that long without having Claire with me.” He dropped Claire’s hand and crossed his arms.

“Why?”

“Besides the fact that I’ll miss her every second we’re apart? Because when I’m on the road, and doing industry stuff, and playing gigs, I know I’m going to see the things that I’m addicted to.”

“And you’re afraid that you’ll slide right back into that life, if you’re by yourself?”

Jamie heaved a deep breath. Raymond watched Claire hold herself back from giving her husband even the gentlest, most reassuring touch.

“Do you think he’d do that, Claire?”

She shook her head. “No way.”

Jamie huffed skeptically. “You have too much faith in me.”

“You should have more faith in yourself!” She stood, hands on her hips. “You’re so much stronger than you give yourself credit for, Jamie. Why don’t you see that?”

He covered his face with his hands, breathing deeply. “I know what I can do, Claire, when I lose control.”

“So do I, Jamie. But I know what you can do when you keep control. I know what you can say no to. Do you not remember that party in New York? It was hard, so fucking hard, but even though people were drinking all around us, and that model was doing coke two feet away from you,you were fine!”

Raymond kept his voice steady. “Do you really believe that at the drop of a hat, you’d forget your vows to Claire, Jamie? That you’d forget your commitment to sobriety?”

He nodded.

“But that’s never happened.” Claire lay a calm hand on Jamie’s shoulder, squeezing. “And just because I won’t be right next to you, or in the hotel room waiting for you, doesn’t mean that you will forget your promises.”

She rubbed his shoulder, so gentle.

“And, Jamie – to be honest, I could use the time here. To get to know the people at the clinic a bit better, get to know what kind of support they need. Obviously I won’t be around when we’re in Europe, and maybe not even after that if I come home pregnant. But I want them to get to know me, and I want to get to know them. And the best way I can do that is by spending time there, on my own. I can’t do that if I’m in L.A.”

Jamie pulled back to look up at his wife. She smiled down at him, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

Raymond gave them a moment before speaking. “When I suggested you go to L.A. alone, Jamie, you mentioned how you would feel, but you didn’t mention how you thought Claire would feel. Does what she wants not matter to you?”

“Of course it matters to me.” Jamie sounded a bit hurt.

“But you didn’t use those words to say that,” Raymond replied. “And you didn’t ask her what she thought about my idea. Claire does have a life beyond being your wife. She’s trying to find her footing. And she needs more space to do that. Has she ever told you that?”

Jamie looked directly at his wife. “Not like that,” he said softly. “Am I being too selfish?”

“You can be, sometimes.” Claire took a deep breath. “I know we’re both still healing, and figuring out how we live our lives together when everything is so complicated. This life we have together – it’s so wonderful, but it’s also so overwhelming. I want a family with you, Jamie – but I also want my career back. I know it won’t look like it did before, and I don’t want it to. And not right this instant, maybe not for a few more years. We have time to talk about it and figure that out.” She smiled at him. “That’s why I’m so glad that Raymond is here. Because he’ll give us the space to talk about these things.”

“Creating that space helps. So does re-framing a situation.” Raymond shifted in his chair. “Consider this: instead of feeling loss that you’re not together when Jamie is in L.A., or being afraid of what the world is like without the other…think of it as, two or so weeks of building new memories to eventually share. Two weeks of anticipation, to the buildup to being back together.”

“I like that,” Jamie said quietly. “And I see what you’re doing, Raymond. Turning something that could be negative, into something positive.”

“He’s not wrong, Jamie.”

Jamie sighed. “I know, Claire. I need time for me, and you need time for you. But I’ll still call you every day. Probably annoy the hell out of you.”

She laughed. “Of course you will. I want you to.” She turned to Raymond. “Can we start our sessions with you while he’s in L.A.?”

“Of course. We can do it all over the phone. But we can start tomorrow, if you like.”

Claire turned back to her husband. “Raymond asked us to be honest, Jamie. So when you speak with him, be honest. And when we have our session together, be honest. This is why we need his help. If you feel like you’re cracking, you need to fucking tell us. Do you understand?”

Jamie nodded. “I love you,” he rasped.

“I love you,” she laughed. “It’s just a few weeks, Jamie. Then we’ll be in Europe. You’ll get sick of me.”

He laughed, and it transformed his face. “Not possible.” He turned to look at Raymond. “I think you’ve got your work cut out for you, Doc.”

Raymond closed his notebook. “Well, you two will certainly keep things interesting.”

[invisibleraven]

"you didn't have to do anything..." "but i wanted to." and rulie?

Julie groaned as she rolled over in her bunk, not wanting to face another day in the bus. Unfortunately, that was life on tour, and as much as it sucked, they were still on tour-going to filled stadiums, singing the songs they had written to thousands of adoring fans.

Julie just wished she could be home today of all days.

It was her birthday-something she knew going in would happen on tour, but she had hoped they would be close enough to California that she could pop home to be with her family, or they could come to her. But alas, they were somewhere close to Ohio, so she would have to live with a video call later that night.

Honestly Julie didn't even really want to celebrate. No fuss, no muss, just get on with the day like normal and maybe she could do her birthday in a week when they had a bit of a break.

She sent a text to Flynn to that affect, knowing she would control the guys' impulse to go over the top, and ensure no one let it slip during the show that night. It was just another day.

However, when she entered the kitchen area of the bus, there was a steaming mug of coffee waiting for her alongside a small cupcake with a candle in it. She rolled her eyes affectionately and blew it out. And well, no sense letting it go to waste ri? She scarfed it down alongside her coffee, looking around the bus. "Guys?" she called out. "Flynn?'

Nothing. Which was... concerning.

She got herself ready for the day, and since they were stopped to refuel, ventured outside. Flynn was pacing around on her phone, offering Julie a wave, but not much else. Business call then, as with anyone else, Flynn would put them on hold to say hello. She also pointed to the playground across the way.

Of course that was where the guys were. Julie grinned as she went over, secretively snapping a picture of Willie pushing Alex on the swings, Luke doing pull-ups on the monkey bars... but there was no sign of Reggie.

She scanned the area again and then her gaze fell on a familiar red flannel underneath a large tree. "Hey cariño," she said, pecking his cheek in greeting. "Not monkeying around?'

"Not today darlin'," he replied, gesturing to the notebook in his lap. "Got a song idea, wanted to get it down before it disappeared. Then I'll hit the slide."

Julie leaned her head on his shoulder, looking at what he had so far, humming the notes, then pausing. "Change that to E major," she said, pointing to one section.

Reggie stopped, and hummed it, then again with the changed note, beaming as he adjusted it. "Thanks Jules, that was bothering me."

He soon closed his book and tugged her towards the playground, the both of them giggling as they went down the staticky slide, got dizzy on the little merry-go-round, and almost laughed themselves hoarse as Luke and Willie went ham on the see-saw.

"Alright you hooligans! Time to ship out!" Flynn called.

They went on to their destination, and Julie couldn't help but smile-it was nice, on day where she was supposed to be acknowledging getting older that she got to pretend to be a kid again.

The show was amazing, as always, and thankfully no one in the audience tried to start a chorus of Happy Birthday, though she knew Luke was dying to get them to.

The trek back to the bus seemed to take forever though, as Flynn had them meet with a bunch of officials after the show, and then the crew wanted pictures, so Julie couldn't deny them that.

"Ooof, I'm pooped," she said as they finally left the venue, the bus almost looking like a shining beacon.

"Not too tired for a drink or two I hope?" Willie asked. "I got that pink vodka you like."

"One drink," Julie agreed.

Only when Julie entered the bus, there was a large birthday streamer across the wall, a cake topped with candles on the table, and-her family sitting around it.

"Papi!" she cried, rushing into Ray's arms, then snatching Carlos and Victoria into hugs. "What are you doing here?'

"Did you really think we'd miss your birthday mija?" her aunt asked.

"I didn't think you'd be able to come," Julie admitted.

"I shuffled stuff around," Ray replied. "Pulled a few strings to get a flight here."

"But how did know to come?" she asked.

Everyone's eyes flew to Reggie who was not looking back, his cheeks aflame. Julie rushed over to him, popping up on her toes to kiss him. "Thank you so much Reggie."

"You know I'd do anything for you Julie," he said, encasing her in his arms.

"You didn't have to do anything," she protested.

He shrugged. "But I wanted to."

She pulled him in for another kiss, tasting his smile, unable to hold her own back either.

"Alright, enough mushy stuff, let's get this party on!" Carlos called out.

Julie beamed, letting the festivities begin-enjoying the cake, and presents, and Flynn's reveal that they were staying at a hotel that night-absolute bliss.

But nothing topped when, alone in their room, Reggie played her his new song-the very one he had been writing earlier that day. And topped it off with a small, black box as a present-one she didn't even need to open to give him a very enthusiastic yes to his unasked question.

Later, admiring her ring, and snuggled into Reggie, Julie smiled to herself and thought for a birthday she didn't want to celebrate, this had been her best one yet.

[breakerwhiskey]

189 - ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY NINE

Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey's radio. Breaker Whiskey is an Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen. If you'd like to support the show, please visit patreon.com/breakerwhiskey.

Transcript under the cut. For more episodes, click here.

[click, static]

Look. A lot…a lot has happened in the last few weeks. And I’m…well, I think I’ve found an okay place to stay safe for a few days, catch my breath, figure out what my next move is. A house that’s got some clothes that look like they might fit me, some canned goods, woods around it that should be good for setting up rabbit traps. Plus the gas stove still works, so I’m…well, I’m really cooking with gas. (a weak laugh) Sorry, I’m…I’m fucking tired.

Setting Harry and Junior to the side for the moment—not like I ever really can do that, they’re on my mind constantly, a merry-go-round of thoughts and fears that never stops—but. Setting them to the side for a moment.

I’ve been putting my thoughts in a row. Organizing the disparate threads of morse code messages and evidence and Asimov books and…

I am somewhere else. We are. We are in a time of our own, separate from the world we knew. I killed Billings and we…branched off. I took Harry with me because she was there, Junior because it was his father I killed, and Leann because…the random rippling of chance.

And if there was one ripple big enough to affect Leann, then that means there must be other people out there. I’m sure of it. But maybe they have no way of reaching me—maybe they’re not hearing me at all, even though it seems like my transmission radius is a lot bigger than it should be—and that’s a mystery I don’t feel particularly inclined to solve at the moment, bigger fish and all—maybe they’re just all spread out so much that the odds of us running into each other are vanishingly small.

But there are others. I know that. And that’s enough for now.

So. The photos. I’ve been looking at the Denver ones again and I had a thought…the weird watch, the slightly strange clothes…what if that’s—

What if it’s 1975, but just…over there. What if that’s where the sounds come from too? A collision point of timelines, some overlap that bleeds through in sound and in polaroids, for some reason. And the reason that Junior didn’t show up in the photo I took is because he wasn’t standing there in normal 1975. Because he’s here. But the people in Denver were there, just…unreachable. The camera is a little window into the real world.

I don’t know, it’s just a theory. But it’s got me wondering—why me? Why this choice? If time and space split every time someone accidentally killed someone—

Well. Maybe that is what’s happening. Everyone in their own little pocket of punishment after making a choice. But we make thousands—tens of thousands—of choices every single day. What makes one choice more potent than another? Is there some preordained “correct” order of things we’re supposed to be following, just like Eternity?

That’s really the ultimate question isn’t it—Birdie and Fox and what they both seem to know. The way they seem to be able to communicate with me no matter where I am. The way they only communicate through morse code. Are they…they’re not god, I refuse to believe that, but are they Eternity somehow? Are they…monitoring me, monitoring everything, to make sure things are just right? But if that’s the case, then what are we still doing here. Why hasn’t Andrew Harlan come and repaired what I did to put everything back in its place.

It really does all sound like science fiction. Maybe it’s all true, maybe I’m right on the money, or maybe none of it is. And I’m not sure who I would believe if anyone told me which it was.

[click, static]

[lightthewaybackhome]

2022 reread: I've totally and utterly lost count of how many times I've read this book, but two things struck me this time:

-Frodo's Age: I'm getting closer and closer to Frodo's age when he begins this epic and personally destroying adventure, and I find myself seeing Frodo in a whole new light. You see his calmness, his wisdom, his love of the younger Hobbits, the agony of knowing the burden he bears, it all takes on a new weight when you look at it from the perspective of a 50ish-year-old man instead of a 20ish-year-old young man. The journey has more solemnity to it, and you understand the upheaval it brings to a more settled, tired point in life. You understand that he is closer in age to Aragorn than Merry and Pippin. This is another area where I think the movies lost something. The movie Frodo is far too young. Going on an adventure as a person in your 50s is way different than going on an adventure in your 20s.

-Gimil's Gift: The whole Lothlorien scene is still one of my favorites in the book. It is so elvish, more elvish than anything else Tolkien wrote. You can truly sense the beauty, timelessness, magic, joy, and sadness of these beings. Gimil's gift always makes me cry, but what struck me this time was how it brought the elves and dwarves full circle, uniting them back together. Dwarves murdered Thingol in Doriath. Thingol was kin to Celeborn, and Galadriel lived with them in Doriath for many, many years. If anyone has a right to hate Dwarves it's Celeborn and Galadriel, and yet, Galadriel goes out of her way to welcome and heal much of the rift between elves and dwarves, which is probably what makes way for Legolas and Gimli to be such friends. That relationship starts in Lothlorien. What delight must it have brought Tolkien to write some of those scenes, even knowing that his readers at the time wouldn't grasp their depths, and how thankful I am for the Silmarillion.

I love it!!!

Also, speaking of the movies, Gimli, Merry, and Pippin are all such more well-rounded, solid, courageous, and wonderful in the book. Just saying. And don't get me started on Aragorn.

[logarhythm-bees]

To Unearth and Back Again; ⛅Chapter 9

Chapter Eight | Table of Contents | Chapter Ten

A very merry unbirthday to you! Who, me? Yes, you! Oh, me! Let's all congratulate us With another cup of tea A very merry unbirthday to me!

-The Unbirthday Song, Alice in Wonderland

See ronithesnail's absolutely wonderful art for this story!

Janus groaned, lifting his head up. Ugh, he had a headache. What happened? He was definitely sitting up, and he didn’t usually sleep sitting up unless he was extremely tired, which was entirely possible considering he didn’t remember falling asleep, but he didn’t feel particularly rested despite his evidently deep sleep, which was rare.

He realized also that he felt rather cold, which was definitely out of the ordinary, because any time he fell so deeply into slumber it was because he was being held by one or both of his partners, and he didn’t feel any sort of warmth around him- not even the residual warmth of someone who had gotten up for coffee or to go to the bathroom.

Scrunching his face up, Janus blinked his eyes open to a dark room, faintly lit by the small scratch of sunlight that was making it through the blackout curtains. All he could see in the din was a plastic table in front of him and his own arms on the chair’s armrests, which he noted, resignedly, had been tied to the chair with cooked spaghetti. 

To anyone else, this would have been an insane hostage situation. To Janus, this was just one of the many unfortunate side effects of sharing a mindscape with Remus.

“It’s rather dark in here, if you wouldn’t mind opening the window,” Janus called, because he did enjoy being able to see.

In the quiet, a sharp blast of confetti took him off guard, leaning back and blinking rapidly in his chair. The curtains shot open, overviewing a rather beautiful landscape, especially considering Remus’s standards. The side himself stood on a chair across the room, wearing a party hat and doing jazz hands in front of a banner that seemed to have once read ‘Congratulations, It’s a Boy!’ but now said the words ‘Congratulations, It’s A Kidnapping!’

“Surprise!” Remus grinned, jumping off of the chair and blowing a party horn at Janus. “Did it work? Did I surprise you?”

“Everything you do manages to surprise me, Remus,” Janus said sarcastically, lifting his arms experimentally. The spaghetti came off unceremoniously, splitting into pieces of limp noodle as Janus shook them off of his hands and sleeves. He rubbed at his wrists, more for drama than anything else, as one cannot be restrained to a chair particularly tightly when said restraints are made of boiled strands of wet flour dough. “Any particular reason for kidnapping me this time, or am I just here for the fun of it?”

“Oh!” Remus exclaimed, beaming at him semi-maniacally. “Yes! I’ll be right back!”

Janus watched as Remus darted out of the room, which he now saw was made of marble brick, polished into a clean, round space. The door and window were bracketed with wood, almost medieval, and Janus realized that they must have been in a castle. Another glance out the window confirmed his suspicions, and judging by the view, they were in a rather high tower.

The twins had always liked those stories of prisoners held in high castle turrets, he thought distantly. Rarely for the same reasons, but the same fairytales nonetheless. 

His train of thought was interrupted by a clatter of plastic and ceramic as Remus rushed back into the room with a plate holding a teapot and various cups stacked on top of saucers. He placed it almost gingerly on top of the table and set a mug in front of Janus, pouring the tea in before Janus managed to even speak. 

“I- ah.” Janus exclaimed. “Tea party?”

“Tea party!” Remus confirmed extremely enthusiastically, setting the rest of the saucers and mismatched cups around the table, which Janus realized was encircled by various inanimate objects sitting on chairs. Remus quickly placed and poured a cup of tea for each, before slowing to a stop and carefully picking up the one matching ceramic teacup and saucer and setting it before a bucket with googly eyes glued to it. 

“Your tea, Your Highness,” Remus said, tilting the teapot’s contents elegantly into the cup, which shocked Janus the most out of the whole scene. Before this moment, he hadn’t known Remus was even capable of being elegant.

“Hey, how come the bucket gets the matching set?” Janus asked, trying to get past the bafflement of seeing Remus doing something gracefully.

Remus gasped in offense, drawing his hands to his chest. “How dare you! That is the queen you’re talking about here, and you are a mere peasant in her realm! Of course she gets the matching set over you!” Remus huffed indignantly, leveling Janus with a stare that implied what he’d just said made any sense whatsoever.

“Right.” Janus said. He was still utterly astonished by whatever was happening here, but he could deal with the astonishment of Remus naming a bucket the rightful queen of his land more than he could deal with Remus showing genuine elegance, so he let it be. 

Remus huffed in affirmational agreement, pulling his own chair up to the party and across the table from Janus. He picked up his own plastic neon green cup of tea and took a sip, smacking his lips dramatically and making an exaggerated “Aah~” noise.

Janus lifted his own ‘Don’t talk to me until I’ve eaten this mug’ cup cautiously, sniffing at the liquid inside. He flicked his tongue out, snake side showing through his senses. It didn’t smell weird– it just smelled like normal green tea, in fact– but that didn’t mean anything when it came around to Remus. He squinted at Remus suspiciously, gesturing towards the tea, and Remus rolled his eyes, drinking the rest of his tea down with a grotesque slurping noise. 

“It’s normal tea,” Remus said. “How am I supposed to get you to stay and chat if I serve you anything else?”

That gave Janus pause. “You want to…chat?”

Remus rolled his eyes again, even more exaggerated than the first time. “Well duh. What else are tea parties for?”

Janus blinked at him, thinking. “I…suppose you’re right.”

Janus leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his drink. He hummed as warm green tea flooded his tongue, considering the flavor of the leaves. Considering what else it could have been, it wasn’t half bad. It was rather good, actually.

“I think you should introduce me to your friends,” Janus said, gesturing around the table.

Remus beamed. 

[alyjojo]

April 🤯 2024 Monthly - Aries

Preshuffle: You’re either working together with others, getting or providing help, through what seems to be a difficult or disappointing situation - or you’re disappointed with the lack of cooperation and support you hope to get.

Meditation: Outside of your door, you were getting ready for a race! Your legs were winding up like a cartoon, and you took off FAST, ready to impress, ready to wow 🤩 and amaze. But there was no one on the sides of this race, nothing you expected, and it was really, really long. You went for awhile, determined to win, but with the lack of cheering from the sidelines, no water available (seems important), no support…no one else even racing, what’s the point of winning? Is anyone even waiting for you at the end, or is this just an empty track? At some point, it’s just running.

Main energy: 2 Wands

Your oracles are really encouraging, you do have victory, success, positive attention and recognition coming in, or if not yet then that’s the overall goal. 3 Swords was the first card out, you could be dealing with any number of heartbreaking situations, but I don’t see it getting you down for long, at least not consistently. You’re still in action mode, trying to chart your road to success, moving in silence and maybe being silent about what your plans are from other people. Family? Saturn Cancer can show family, especially children being difficult for you to deal with in whatever this goal or path is. Or someone else’s. Bottom of the deck, you’re healing wounds, probably emotional ones. Or want to.

What’s going on in April:

3 Swords:

Something sneaky may have occurred, or whatever was being “secretively planned” is likely to come out and cause these are the same wounds that are at the bottom of the deck. Or you’re/someone else is being sneaky in order to avoid defensive responses, in whatever way that would apply. You may not be planning in silence at all, you’re just planning to BE silent with someone else. Or they are. Plan accordingly, move how you need to, avoid anyone knowing shit about shit and you can live your life freely however you choose. The only issue I see with that is family, children, whoever else is involved that you would need to hide something from. Or this is switched, because you have victory on your side.

Queen of Swords:

This is Libra energy, you could be dealing with one, or you’re embodying this no nonsense, straight shooter, tell it like it is Queen that is kind, fair, and willing to discuss things that are true, but come at her shady or wrong and she will immediately cut you with that sword. Someone is acting like they don’t see the issue, a problem, maybe not taking accountability, ducking and dodging or sneaking around and lying, that kind of behavior, and Queen of Swords is like who tf are you fooling? If they didn’t see before, they sure do now, or you do. The only thing they don’t know and can’t see is whether or not something toxic is done, addictions are overcome, is it the same merry go round of bullshit that it was before - in whatever way this applies to you. I’m not getting a particular work, home, or yo mama sort of lane. Someone may be breaking silence that’s lasted for awhile, directly confronting and addesssing things they’ve ignored, or had to heal. Or you are. If the plan is to be quiet, idk if that’s going to work out, but I don’t see that being a bad thing. Someone may not know how to overcome something, how to end it, how to heal, and they’re either asking you or going with head & doing what’s most logical to them.

The Magician:

I assume you are creating some kind of new reality for yourself, based on whatever you know with this Queen of Swords energy. You’re tired of living in Moon energy, where there’s no sun ☀️, no clarity, just a bunch of fkn confusion and fear and you’ve been waiting for this - 3 Wands at the bottom, your energy of anticipation, expecting your ships to come in. Before they may not have, 7 Pentacles rev shows having to give up because something just isn’t working, it’s not bearing fruit. So though it breaks your heart, I don’t see you stuck to anything, you’ll just pick up and move in another direction. Maybe not say anything about it this time, in case it fails. I don’t see anything failing 💯

5 Pentacles:

Something has been or needs to be abandoned in order to move on with whatever you’re planning. Saturn Cancer has heavy nostalgia, can be past related, or this is regarding family. If there’s some get together (hopefully not your birthday but could be), you could feel abandoned by the people you care about and them not showing up for you as they normally do, or should. You could be expecting something based on what you’ve done for others, maybe you give them a lot of your time, attention, money, you’d like some recognition & appreciation. Someone could be abandoning a celebration at the last minute or because of a lack of funds. Or maybe it’s you that can’t afford to go out and no one offers to spot you this time, give you a ride or whatever the thing, no one steps up to the plate to do anything. You’re hurt because you would.

Page of Cups:

You will get an apology from whoever has let you down, someone may be going through a Tower moment you aren’t aware of, maybe they weren’t clear about that, they just said they can’t make it. It’s a misunderstanding. Or this person doesn’t realize how much they’ve pulled the rug out from under your feet, and have deeply disappointed you. Someone may have lost a job and just hasn’t said anything, 10 Pentacles at the bottom, or they’re having a family emergency of some kind. If you don’t know, don’t assume the worst. This could be someone that needs money but never comes around or does anything with the family, and it rubs you the wrong way, there’s no equal, you feel like they don’t care about you. If it’s this Queen of Swords, then you’ll be crystal clear on their intentions, but what about yours? Maybe not. Or switch it.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Heavy Libra, Leo, Cancer, Taurus, Pisces

Oracle: ✨

37 Emotional Release 🌧

We all want to be strong. As humans we value strength and independence. But also as humans we need the support of our family, our friends, our tribe. Trying so hard to be strong, pushing down emotions such as fear, anger, betrayal, sadness, only forced them to grow and become stronger. The bubbling up and release that eventually comes takes everyone involved by surprise, and sometimes does harm in terms of hurt feelings and words that cannot be taken back. Get into the practice of voicing your feelings - even if it’s just acknowledging them to yourself. Journal, create, dance. Find a way that you can safely feel your most feared emotions. Feel them and then let them go. This is a potentially deep healing for you.

Justice ⚖️

Equality - Neutrality - Logic

Triumph 🏆

Success - Victory - Achievement

Fortune 🥠 Sun - Leo

Charity 😇 Saturn - Cancer

We enter into April as:

Bahana Beige 🎨

“I quietly listen, allowing you to color your own palate.”

If you are drawn to Bahana Beige, it is time to take an impartial look at your situation and drop the excuses. Your answers will come when you remain still. Take no action at this time. The action of Bahana Beige is to listen. Now is the time to consider the other side, because there may be some valuable insights in another point of view. This technique can help produce great strides in communication in your relationships. When we are fixed on a position (or opinion), we are not in the neutral space of Bahana Beige.

This is an opportunity to see who you are in a relationship. Ask yourself, “How does my present attitude or position serve me?” When you answer this question, you will begin to gain more insight into choosing what is for the highest good in any situation. Another way to position a question is in thinking from the other person’s point of view. Is there another way to see this situation? What do you see now?

What is to be learned in April:

Aqua People 🌊

“I need more, better, bigger. Yes, that will make me okay.”

Aqua People is about getting “caught up”. We all say we will stop when we have “enough” in our lives, but there never is enough. Stop already! Before moving past your dissatisfaction, you must find more purpose for water than just having it. Balance is needed in all areas of our lives. To ask for more from an abundant situation is wasteful. You are not fully using that which you are currently receiving; in fact it may be time to give back. You must begin to use your own resources because you do have all you need. If you cannot find what you seek inside of yourself, you will never find any peace. Color your world with more than one focus. Give up the belief that your way is the “only way”.

Remember the turkey drowns in the rain because he cannot stop looking up at it. You must nourish what has nourished you. If you are seeking a love relationship, Aqua People tells you that you have chosen to be around people that are self-serving as you have been. This may indicate difficulties in that area. If we give up the need to “have it all”, we can be it all. It is then much easier to coexist with one another. If you presently have a relationship in your life, be aware of not seeking to blame your partner for your own dissatisfaction. Since what we focus on is what we create more of, it is time to acknowledge and thank the people you love, and begin changing your focus.

Aqua/Teal may be a lucky color 🩵

Happy Birthday Aries! 🎉

[ackerfics]

comparing hand sizes with eren or erwin 😩

i'm your satellite — eren jaeger, erwin smith (separate)

— eren jaeger x female reader, erwin smith x female reader (modern au)

— warnings: none, just fluff <3

— summary: they have a list of things that they love doing with you but when you suggested comparing hand sizes, they're blanketed with the feeling of pulling your heart closer than it already is.

— word count: 2.4k

— notes: i specifically didn't answer this yet because i wanted it to be an anthology of sorts --- it's just so cute aaaaaa both of these men make my heart stutter in the best way possible. i'm so sorry if i answered this late thooo :<<< i was sorting through my requests just now and found this. and i simply love it. maybe i'll start writing more these days because i'm starting to feel the side-effects of the vaccine hhhhhhh my body feels so tired all day, which means i'll be on my bed typing away on my computer. i based one of these scenarios on my own experience bc one of my guy friends just loves to compare hand sizes for bragging rights djnejdej also, i indulged myself in a little dad!erwin bc i'm a sucker for those. happy reading, love !! i hope you enjoy this owo

reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

Class is becoming boring for Eren, the theories being discussed by the professor flying from his mind even after he writes them down on his iPad. He's an exceptional student, no doubt about that, but if there comes a day that he's feeling under the weather, Eren will just let the lecture pass by in front of him. He'd rather watch movies, cuddled into your warmth, than watch the short documentary on the discovery of quantum particles and their vitality in the great merry-go-round of life. He sighs before looking at his wristwatch --- there's still one more hour of staying physically present in this class and he will finally have dinner with you in one of the university restaurants. As if the thought of you sparked life into his body, he turns to you with a glint of mischief lighting up his eyes. Suddenly, every fiber of boredom became tendrils as he looks at your stunning side profile.

Like water, you flow through every stream of thought Eren has.

His admiration for you runs deeper than you let on. The love is visible as he trails his iridescent emerald irises over your visage. Rather than seeing the colors of the spectrum, his vision is dyed with all shades of anything pastels, the sparkles throwing you in a different spotlight than anyone else in the lecture room. Your eyelashes curve over your eyes as if they're butterfly wings every time you slowly blink while writing down the important details of the class. Eren is a sucker for the way you become so focused on every little thing. He loves seeing you lightly bite your lip as you draw diagrams or highlight with those pastel colors you adore you much. He enjoys the little nose scrunches when you don't like your handwriting, which was something he's thoroughly baffled about because it's so pretty as you. He even relishes how you blow on the stray lock of hair obscuring your vision. Everything about you is so perfect for Eren's eyes. It's not something he admits out loud but it's always conveyed through his actions.

It was a stroke of luck when you compared schedules with your boyfriend at the start of the academic year --- thinking that probably you wouldn't share classes with him aside from the general ones. You're both in the same major so most likely some of your classes align with each other just as it had been the previous year in university but it was never the vital course. He whooped in your shared apartment the moment he saw that you share all of your essential courses with him. It was something he was wishing for since you both started university.

The memory makes Eren smile, the giddiness he feels urges his hand to reach out to you. Finally, you look back at him in mild surprise when his hand covers yours. The small smile he had becomes a grin at your narrowed look. He shakes his head lightheartedly, "What?"

"What are you pulling right now?" You mumble slowly to not disrupt the class.

"Oh, nothing," he sings, running his fingers through every gap of your hand. The more time he observes every ridge and marks your hand has, he discerns that it looks so small compared to him. Eren always swoons whenever he feels how small you are against him. Something tugs on his heartstrings every time he hugs you from behind, only for you to be swallowed by how tall he is. Butterflies always cause tornadoes inside his rib cage when you walk around in your shared apartment wearing only his shirt. He can't resist his clothes reaching the middle of your thighs so he snatches you to throw you on the bed for another round of cuddles. Don't even start wearing his sweaters. The sweater paws are the death of him. "You are so tiny," he marvels in awe.

You scrunched your face in confusion. "Okay? I'm always tiny compared to you, 'Ren." You turn back to writing on your notebook, scribbling the diagram flashing on the projector screen. You feel every touch he pours onto your skin and it takes everything in you not to shudder at the heartwarming sensation of his fingers trailing over the back of your hand. You try to push down the warmth seeping into your cheeks and focus your attention on the lecture. The remaining minutes will fly by if you try to connect yourself with the theories your professor rambles on. But when Eren speaks again, your concentration breaks for the tenth time this day.

"No, no, you don't understand."

Your eyebrows furrow, stopping before you reach a period in your notes. "What am I not understanding?"

"Look."

Turning your head to see what caused Eren to say his sentences with breathy adoration, you see him placing your free hand on his, palm to palm. "Eren, what are you doing?"

Eren looks at you with the brightest emeralds before pointing his stare at your joined hands. Your palm is flushed on his --- your middle finger barely reaches half of his. It makes you blink at the sheer difference. You always knew that Eren is like a giant teddy bear behind that gruff appearance he always shows in public, with that man bun and blank face that often scares people, but you never really thought about how he practically engulfs you with just his build. His hand is so much larger than yours that you're starting to feel your heartbeat pound in the same melody as Eren's, the green-eyed man looking back at you with his universe reflected in his eyes. He's staring at you as if you complete him and it heals him to know that you complement him in any way he can think of. So, he folds his fingers over the gaps of your hand, covering you in a protective cocoon he created just for you. You're making him love you like a fool and he hopes you know how much he feels for you.

"You're so cute. It warms my heart seeing this." Eren never strays his gaze from your hands. "I think it's just me but I have butterflies when I realize that my heart is much bigger than yours," he glances at you with a small smile, "which means I can love you much greater than anyone else could. And every single inch of it is beating just for you." He leans his head back on his chair, a besotted look washing over his face as he gazes at your wide eyes, parted lips, and warm cheeks. "You are the reason why I enjoy living now. Feels great to let you know that I kind of love you more than you ever know."

You're speechless. Sometimes you have the tendency to blurt out any random thought when Eren makes your voice disappear like this. "All this because of a Physics lecture?"

Eren laughs before pulling up your joined hands to his lips. He presses the most gentle kiss on your skin, looking at you with half-lidded eyes over your combined hands. "Partially yeah because it's boring me but I know you know I'm telling the truth."

If you're perfect in Eren's eyes, he's shining in yours --- much more radiant than every satellite the universe has to offer.

Free time for Erwin is so rare and short that he cherishes every single one he has with you.

His work as the CEO of his rising business serves as the reason why he spends his nights inside glass walls instead of your home's comfort. With a junior like Levi who's always making sure that he stays in line without any distractions, Erwin is bound to be working more than enough hours to provide for your little family. Ever since you gave birth to his baby boy, he's working harder than he already is, saying along the lines that your little boy needs all the luxury a child should have in their life. Although, with that in mind, you prevented him from going back to work the first three months of your son's life on earth. As time passed, with your son now reaching one year old, all the little boy can pinpoint from his father is his eyebrows (something that he didn't inherit in all the features he has from his father) because that's the only thing he can remember from his workaholic dad.

So, once Erwin texted you that he will be having the week off because he felt like he was working too much, you are undeniably elated.

It's the first night of his vacation and Erwin spends it with you and your son, Atlas, doing a marathon of Disney animated films (well, up until your son falls asleep). You are snuggled against Erwin's chest, with your one-year-old son laying comfortably on both of your laps, fixated on the display of Simba being lifted in the air by Rafiki. The bowl of fruits near Erwin's side is slowly consumed by the blond baby sitting between the two of you while you and your husband are indulging in a bowl of popcorn. Atlas's exclamations of awe make you and Erwin laugh, endeared at the sight of him so immersed in the world of talking animals and magic. He occasionally looks up at you and imitates Simba's attempt at roaring before tugging on Erwin's shirt to randomly feed his dad a piece of strawberry (clumsily because he shoved the fruit on Erwin's nose). Everything is going well until Atlas sees the scene where Mufasa died.

"Daddy!" Atlas cries, eyes welling up in tears as he's clutching the fabric of his onesie in tiny fists. His sobs turn to wails as he turns to Erwin's chest, wrapping his small arms around the large expanse he's seeking comfort from. Erwin's chest rumbled with low laughter while you're brushing your fingers over Atlas's tuft of blonde hair, thumbs catching his falling tears. The baby boy continues nuzzling on Erwin that your husband looks at you for help. "Daddy don wan to die!"

"Sweetie?" You try calling out, cupping the side of your son's head in your palm. Those blue eyes he got from Erwin shine even more with that sheen of tears covering his irises. His little teeth are peeking through as he's gritting another sob, in which you have to take a deep breath just to contain your smile. "Daddy won't go anywhere." You lean your head on Erwin's shoulder, taking Atlas's curling fist and placing it on top of Erwin's heart. "Do you feel that?" A shy nod is your son's response. "That's Daddy's heartbeat. As long as that sound is around, he's always here."

"That's right, baby," Erwin tells Atlas, the toddler looking up at him with similar eyes. "I won't be Daddy lion any time soon."

Atlas tilts his head, speaking in a broken, "Really?"

Erwin nods. "Really."

The baby boy pouts and looks down on his father's free hand, the one that's not wrapped around him. With a set mission in his mind, Atlas took Erwin's hand with both of his. You share a glance with Erwin when your son lets his father's palm face his small face. The movie is now forgotten as Atlas expresses his small noises of awe at how Erwin's hand can cover his entire head. He huffs and makes himself comfortable, sitting on his calves, before smacking his palm on top of his dad's. He then laughs at something remotely funny to him, doing the thing all over again and muttering along the lines of, "Daddy big!" You and your husband watch as Atlas takes your hand and does the same thing. His giggles tug at your heartstrings, warmth spreading across the living room at the sight of Atlas enjoying the smallest act as if it's the most amazing thing on the planet. By now, the grins on your faces will never be erased at the energetic spark of light bouncing on both of your laps, eager to share what he discovered with you two.

"Mommy and Daddy do, too!"

"Oh, you want me and Mommy to do it, too?" Erwin translates.

A squeal rings through as the answer.

"Okay, then, as the little hero says so." Erwin turns to you with a smile, transferring his hold on Atlas on the other arm. "You heard our son, darling."

Erwin opens his palm, patiently waiting for you to complete the puzzle. Your loving stare trailing over his face turns him into a puddle of enraptured sighs and butterflies he's never shy to show you. The little sky-carrier giggling below anticipates the moment as much as Erwin.

Your pretty smile is the perfect accompaniment as you finally place your palm on top of Erwin's. When he sees how small your hand is compared to him, he's reminded of the times you randomly did this during college. Every single time he sees you marvel at the stark contrast between his calloused fingers to your dainty ones, Erwin is sent to the seventh heaven --- all because you look so beautiful staring at your joined hands with so much affection dripping from your eyes. He can't help but lean forward to gently press his forehead against yours, his hold on Atlas tightening because the baby is leaning back to capture the moment as one of his core memoirs. It must be because he feels so at ease in the comforts of his home or it could be because he touches you gently for a long while --- but regardless of what reason it is, Erwin feels so thankful that you came to his life like a shooting star impending for impact in his hollow heart, turning the chambers into a glowing artwork painted by you. Your hands are always laden with gold as you shower Erwin with the most unconditional love you ever gave a person, which is now extended to the bundle of starlight excitedly babbling.

"I love you so much, darling," Erwin murmurs, his breath too close as it hits your lips. He entwines his fingers through yours, slightly feeling Atlas standing up to join the little love-fest. "Thank you for everything you gave me. Thank you for bringing me to zenith every single day."

"Yeah!" Atlas cheers. "Mommy best!"

"You're right, baby," Erwin agrees, two blue eyes glancing at you with adoration. "Mommy is the best."

To them, they're mere planets revolving around you --- their luminary but for you, they carry the entire cosmos in their huge hearts --- pulsing with utter vibrancy for the little things in life at every beat.

[naxlevelnat]

Twitter Vent (feel free to ignore)

Twitter has been literally suppressing all my images since this stupid Musk crap happened, and I was just finally getting somewhere with all of this. I started noticing my notes were way off, it felt like a ghost town and then recently people started telling me they never even saw my art posted at all. I went and checked if maybe I was shadow banned and I’m not, but when I went to searched my OWN TAG on twitter, guess what? Not a SINGLE Image post of mine since the beginning of November even comes up. Not. Even. One.

I know I have a tumblr, but I don’t have a following here, and I’m so upset that I’m literally going to have to start over all over again. I’m so tired of this stupid game of merry go round. I was really trying, I really was, and at no fault of myself or anyone else, twitter is just taking a big dump on all us small artists. Why? Money, it’s always money. I just, I don’t know if I can keep doing this. The big guys will be ok, they have big enough followings that their stuff will get around, but so many of us little artists are just flailing here. 

I can’t keep doing this, I really just can’t. I’m tired. I’m so tired. 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 311: Hand Gun

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “thinkin’ about dropping in some woke analogies of the very real and very presently relevant issue of racial profiling idk what do you guys think” and then shrugged and did it without waiting for an answer, and ngl it was a bit sudden, but I’m here for it. All Might was all “DEKU YOU NEED TO EAT” and Deku was all “OKAY” and took his hero bento and went to go stand dramatically on a tower in the rain whilst having some highly anticipated Vestige flashbacks. OFA II was all, “sup, I guess I’m not Kacchan... OR AM I,” and ngl I think he is?? Alternate universes anybody?? Hello??? But anyway, so OFA the First a.k.a. Yoichi was all “remember that time you guys rescued me from my evil brother and Two took my hand and we Had A Moment?”, and Two and Three were all “ahh yeah good times”, and it was very nice and very, very gay. The chapter ended with it being very unclear if Two and Three have actually lent their power to Deku yet or not lmao. Y’all need to get your shit together dudes.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “what if I gave a random bad guy a fucking tommy gun that shoots nails” and jesus christ calm down son. The Hawksquad, a.k.a. SQUAWK as per @hotchocolatier​, are all “time to drive aimlessly around town acting like Deku has a restraining order on us because that’s literally the best plan to combat the League we could come up with,” and I have no further comment. Hawks is all “idk about you guys but I want to know more about AFO and Tomura’s whole deal” and I can’t remember the last time I identified so strongly with one of these characters. All Might is all, “[EXPLODES???]”, and the chapter ends with that mysterious hot girl from the Tartarus breakout being all “HELLO I CAN TURN INTO A GUN AND I LITERALLY DON’T GIVE A FUCK” and (1) WOW, and (2) IT’S TRUE, SHE CAN, AND SHE REALLY DOESN’T. GODDAMN.

(ETA: so this wholly escaped my notice on the first go, and also has nothing to do with the chapter itself, but I only just realized that this chapter was scanlated by a new group, TCB Scans. they actually did a very good job, and I’m curious if they’ve found a new RAW provider, because the quality this week is actually crazy good in comparison to what we’ve been dealing with for the past few months. I’m gonna have to get caught up on what exactly happened here lol.)

so what will it be this week? more Vestige antics? more of Sad Nomad Deku standing on buildings and pretending like he’s some cool aloof antihero, as if he could fool us when we all know his hero backpack is secretly stuffed full with his nerd diaries and the remnants of all the hero bentos that All Might keeps giving him?? or, just putting it out there, just a crazy thought, but you don’t suppose we might actually cut back to U.A.? mmm. side-eyes emoji

maaaaaan I’m starting to get tired of this trend of beginning chapters by dropping in on random power-tripping civilians and/or Shindou lol. just once can we get a chapter that opens with someone I actually give a fuck about

oh at least Endeavor is here

A WHAT SUPPORT ITEM!??! HOLY SHIT DDLKJSLFKJL

lol somehow that’s more terrifying than bullets for me?? like I’m fully aware that bullets will fuck you up way worse and that in real life nail guns probably don’t work like this AT ALL and only have a range of like... hold up let me just google... up to 100 to 150 m/s and distances of up to 500m wait WHAT

okay wait. hold up. like I was expecting google to tell me nail guns only shoot a few feet at most, and instead the first search result is some CDC blog article that’s “dispelling” the “””myth””” -- please note my repeated sarcastic quotation marks -- that nail guns can fire 1400 feet per second, by explaining that actually they can fire anywhere from 315 ft/sec to 1,295 ft/sec, and that “it is in the pneumatic nail gun user’s best interest to handle these tools as if they were a firearm despite having a lower velocity” dlkjdslkjflkl

SO THAT SCENE IN IRON MAN 3 WHERE TONY RAIDS A HOME DEPOT AND BUYS A BUNCH OF RANDOM TOOLS AND SHIT AND GOES ON TO STAGE A ONE-MAN INVASION OF AN INTERNATIONAL TERRORIST’S FLORIDA MANSION HQ IS ACTUALLY TRUE. YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT THE FILM “HOME ALONE” IS ACTUALLY A DOCUMENTARY. “the Discovery Channel television program “Mythbusters” compared the penetration capacity of an airborne projectile shot from a pneumatic framing nail gun to that of a 9mm hand gun” HELLO YES AND A MERRY “WHAT THE FUCK” TO YOU AS WELL

anyway, so. there’s apparently a reason why the Number One hero, who can burn people with the intensity of a sun going supernova, is hiding here behind this concrete support column making frowny faces. nope. nuh uh. he ain’t about that. I don’t blame you buddy

so now he’s barrel rolling out of his hiding place and setting this dude THE FUCK ON FIRE because HELL NO. BAD ENOUGH I HAD TO WATCH THAT FUCKING MUSHROOM EPISODE LAST WEEK! YOU TAKE THAT SHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE

LOL look at his face

I know the context is actually him being all “I know I’m responsible for basically everything that happened and so that’s why I’m so grim and serious about this mission to set things right piece by piece,” but in my mind this pissed-off face is 100% all because this dude tried to shoot his eye out with a nail gun. look at that. you made him go full flame face again. beard and all. protecting his face so that it can hopefully melt any stray nails that get too close. nope nope nope

good lord. so what’s up next. let me guess the guy fighting Best Jeanist has like an atomic chainsaw or some shit

lol nope we’re just cutting back to Hawks and Jeanist chilling in the Jesla after they’ve wrapped things up

Jeanist has got some serious Groot energy you guys jesus christ he’s like 12 feet tall

oh snap someone threw a pipe at him now

today is just the chapter of Endeavor being assaulted by random DIY tools I guess

I mean, I get why they’re pissed at him obviously; I would be too lol. but tbh I also don’t really understand the “get out of here we don’t want your help” attitude that all of these people suddenly seem to have?? like it if were me, I would be fucking DEMANDING for him and the other heroes to be working round the clock to fix their stupid mess. I mean who else is gonna do it?? it’s their mess, I sure don’t want to be the one to clean it up instead. anyways but whatever lol

oh shit?

so they haven’t dropped the whole “OFA secret potentially gets revealed to the world” thing yet after all. that makes sense I suppose, it did seem like that whole thing wound up playing out a bit too easily

anyway so yeah

the locals are definitely none too happy. well at least Dabi’s got something to be cheerful about I guess

so now we’re cutting to the interior of the Jesla and they’re chitchatting about the current investigation

oh wow this actually makes a bit of sense now. so there was a reason they were keeping their distance from Deku

please note that even in this abstract Endeavor’s-Mental-Image-Of-Him panel, Deku’s eyes still don’t have the light in them anymore :( my poor son

also ftr I still think using Deku as bait in this particular sense is the shittiest idea ever ngl. like sure, let’s let the sixteen-year-old run around battling miscellaneous escaped prison convicts while we stay several kilometers away ON PURPOSE despite the fact that you’re using him as bait to draw out the Big Bad, who just a reminder can destroy anything with a mere touch and who you were all basically helpless against. what exactly are you all planning to do if Tomura or one of the other League VIPs actually shows up to retrieve him?? are you even keeping tabs on him at all in real time?? jesus

(ETA: well that escalated quickly lol.)

Horikoshi is all of a sudden dropping whole pages of exposition here and I can’t be bothered to summarize this lol so just,

a big fat YES to what Jeanist said, though. that’s why imo they would have been better off laying a trap at U.A. rather than just wandering around out in the open. I assume they’re trying to cut their potential losses because U.A. is full of students (and civilians), but those students also happen to be more capable than pretty much anyone else in the manga at this point. and tbh they’re already in life-threatening danger regardless of how things play out from here on, so they might as well at least try to use the few advantages they have right now. U.A. is almost certainly going to come under siege at some point anyway, so they might as well prepare for it

lol I don’t think I’m explaining this very well because I don’t have the patience right now to break it down point by point like it really ought to be, so for now I’ll just say that imo “U.A. siege” stands a good chance of being the eventual endgame even now, and so this whole “Deku runs around being bait” arc is really just killing time until then lol. like and subscribe for more rambling nonsensical takes such as this. maybe next time I’ll even put it all into one single sentence for maximum meandering senior citizen rant value

well it’s nice that they’re finally talking about all of this I guess

we readers have known all of this for months now but this confirms the heroes are finally caught up. ALSO, Hawks is so fucking smart, as always. kinda wonder if things would have played out differently if All Might had let him in on the secret a bit earlier. probably that’s why Horikoshi made damn sure they didn’t find out until after the War arc lol

OH MY GOD YOOOOOO HAWKS OUT HERE ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

“anyone else wondering why AFO bothered to raise Tomura as his fake heir for fifteen years when he was secretly planning on taking over his body the whole time” YES, [raises hand] lmao Hawks where the hell were you when I was debating this “AFO is the final villain and Tomura is just his pawn” thing on multiple occasions over the past several years lol

lmao seeing them debate the metaphysics of OFA and all of its mystical bullshit is seriously surreal you guys

JEANIST HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT MY META TAG I HAVE WRITTEN SO MANY ESSAYS. I ACTUALLY WAS PLANNING ON WRITING ANOTHER ESSAY ABOUT THE THING THAT I’M PRETTY SURE HAWKS IS ABOUT TO BRING UP, BUT I NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT WHOOPS, BUT MAYBE I WILL NOW LOL LET’S SEE HOW IT GOES

yes!!

WHICH AFO FUCKING ENSURED HE WOULD BE BY LITERALLY PLANNING OUT EVERY LAST DETAIL OF HIS FAMILY TRAGEDY, FROM SECRETLY GIVING TENKO THE QUIRK TO MAKING SURE NO CIVILIANS OR HEROES WOULD HELP HIM UNTIL AFO FINALLY STEPPED IN. I’M 1000% CONVINCED THIS IS THE CASE YOU GUYS. NOT JUST BECAUSE I’M NOT A FAN OF “THE WORLD IS A FUNDAMENTALLY SHITTY PLACE, ACTUALLY” TAKES BECAUSE MISTER ROGERS TOLD ME TO ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE HELPERS, BUT ALSO BECAUSE IT LITERALLY JUST DOESN’T MAKE A LICK OF SENSE OTHERWISE. THEIR ENTIRE HOUSE CAVED IN FFS, YOU’RE TELLING ME NONE OF THE NEIGHBORS FUCKING OVERHEARD THAT SHIT AND WENT “UMMMMMMMMM” AND WENT TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON?? “DIDN’T THERE USED TO BE A HOUSE HERE, AND LIKE A WHOLE FAMILY, AND SHIT?”

LIKE I’M SORRY, BUT IT’S ONE THING TO SAY IT’S REALISTIC THAT NOT A SINGLE PERSON WOULD ATTEMPT TO HELP THE WANDERING TRAUMATIZED CHILD AFTERWARDS (WHICH I DISAGREE WITH AS WELL BUT AT LEAST THAT’S MORE SUBJECTIVE), AND IT’S A WHOLE OTHER THING TO ARGUE THAT IT’S REALISTIC THAT NO ONE WOULD BE FUCKING NOSY. LIKE THAT’S A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL OF “THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS” ENTIRELY LOL. anyway tl;dr AFO is a piece of shit and Tomura’s entire worldview is based on a magnificently intricate and savagely cruel lie more at 11

anyway so after all that ranting it looks like that wasn’t even what Hawks was talking about after all lol. I just went off for absolutely no reason lol oh well. instead it seems that Hawks is suggesting that Tomura’s carefully cultivated hatred might not yet have actually reached “can defeat OFA” levels even after all of that trauma. interesting!

don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here while my brain furiously scrambles to put together all the parallels between Hawks and Tomura that it never noticed before until exactly this second. like I’m not even sure that was the intent here at all (I need to check out another translation or two lol), but regardless my mind decided that now would be the perfect time to make the connection between these two twenty-somethings who both had horrific childhoods and spent years being molded by their respective manipulative guardians, and developed eerily similar “laugh at everything because what else can you do” coping mechanisms to deal with it all hmmmmm

anyway so they were talking more about their strategy, but now all of a sudden Jeanist’s phone is beeping??

AND NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO ALL MIGHT AND HIS MIGHTMOBILE DAMMIT so that means the call to Jeanist was actually something important then!! WAS IT BAKUGOU OMG. DOES YOUR INTERN WANT A WORD FFFKLFSJK please it’s been so long I just need a little crumb or two to tide me over lmao have mercy

anyway so All Might’s following the GPS tracking device he’s apparently got planted on Deku (which in my conspiracy headcanons he’s actually had for a long time now, like since before DvK2 lol because HOW ELSE WOULD HAVE HAVE KNOWN THAT THEY WERE FIGHTING EACH OTHER IN GROUND BETA, PEOPLE) and thinking angsty thoughts about Deku’s sucky life

AND NOW ALL MIGHT’S PHONE IS RINGING TOO?? BAKUGOU HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU CALLING. “WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE NERD GODDAMMIT”

OMG

lol is he under attack or is he just finally giving All Might the slip like we all know he SECRETLY PLANNED TO ALL ALONG oh my poor dumb angstmuffin

OMG AHHHHHHH WHAT

DID ALL MIGHT JUST FUCKING DIE LMAO NO OF COURSE NOT, BUT WHAT

WHAT IS HAPPENING OMG

THE FUCK IS THAT. AT LEAST IT’S NOT A NAIL

OH IT’S A SPEAKER!! OMG DID THEY TAKE ALL MIGHT HOSTAGE

“THEY’RE HERE” WELP, TIME TO SEE JUST HOW SHITTY THIS SHITTY PLAN REALLY IS LOL

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHE!!!!

omg. AND OVERHAUL JUST CHILLING THERE IN THE BACKGROUND ALL “WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT ME TO DO I’VE GOT NO FUCKING ARMS” YEAH GOOD RIDDANCE LOL

DOES THIS GIRL HAVE ONE GIANT LEG OR WHAT, LIKE WHAT’S THE DEAL HERE

-- HOLD UP WAIT, THE GUN IS HER ARM, HOLY SHIT SHE CAN TURN INTO A GUN -- OKAY HOLD UP BECAUSE I NEED TO SAY THAT IN BIGGER TEXT BECAUSE !!!!

YOU GUYS, THE COOL TARTARUS GIRL IS BACK AND HER QUIRK IS “CAN TURN INTO A FUCKING GUN.” THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! MY BEST GIRL MT. GUN IS FINALLY BACK ON THE SCENE WITH HER QUIRK “CAN DO ANYTHING A GUN CAN DO.” “I HEARD Y’ALL WENT AND NAMED ONE OF YOUR HEROES ‘GUNHEAD’ EVEN THOUGH HIS HEAD ISN’T EVEN A GUN, LIKE WTF IS UP WITH THAT LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT’S DONE” DANG OKAY

lmao only fifteen pages this week, and STILL NO KACCHAN (THEN WHO WAS PHONE!!!), but man I don’t even care because finally we’ve got a cliffhanger that’s actually deserving of being a cliffhanger! hot dog. okay then

[peachmusesa]

ryou wipes his face. he's tired now. tired of crying and outputting emotion and just of being overwhelmed. too many new things all at once for him. he doesn't let go of the hand that is holding atsumo's. he frowns, " i don't want to talk about ha-chan anymore today. " or in the future. he's got some serious thinking to do. such as blocking kazuya. " we didn't get to eat. " he says instead to divert the conversation to something else. shuuzou hums, " how can it be on purpose if both of them didn't know ? " he uses the technique that everyone seems to use for him / to back him into a wall / to get him to think about things from a different angle. " sakurai doesn't seem like the kind to just lie to your face and he seemed plenty upset, " of which shuu is not thinking about at the moment, " and that other guy. somethingsomethingmo, he didn't seem like he was trying to cause anything. " of which shuu is also trying to not think about 'seriously dated' what the fuck. he pulls his legs in to sit one legged crossed and another hanging off of the merry-go-round. " you don't have to know what's right, right now. " he shrugs, " maybe go apologise to sakurai later or something but get your bearings together first. thoughts in order. " a hand comes up to poke at kazuya's forehead, " you can word vomit whatever and we'll string them together, together. " muk-kun pulls her in and she all but rushes into him, burying her head into his chest, and even though her arms aren't long enough to reach around him - she tries, until she gives up and drops to hold onto the pocket of his hoodie. she peeks over purple clothed arm that wraps around her to meet og's gaze. she wants to ask him to promise / to tell her that they will -- but she knows it's not a fair statement to make. she buries her face into murasakibara's arm. " it's not fair of me to do that, i know. " she mutters, hiccuping. " but, " and very softly, she's not even sure if anyone hears her, " i don't want to be alone again. " she feels selfish for saying it. a few seconds later, she laughs, wetly, pulling away just enough to look up at muk-kun, " do you remember the time we went to the arcade and some guys were hitting on me or whatever and you just threatened to crush their skull in ? " a pause , as she buries her face back into chest, " it was such a simpler time. " she stays there / in that position for a moment, and lets silence envelop them, " i just want everyone to be happy. yo-chan isn't yo-chan with ya-chan and vice versa. " tatsuya grimances at his boyfriend, " you saw his dad ? " that's news to him , but information about shuuzou's dad is tightly guarded. he looks away and down the street. he doesn't think it's fair to bring up the fact that makoto has in fact, seen, kazuya do damage. kazuya who had done damage to him. it's not the place -- because if makoto is feeling lost, then there is no use in dragging him even further down. he breathes. " so did you know sakurai could say fuck ? it seems illegal some how. " tries to take his boyfriends mind off of the event -- does a terrible job with it. " you said he and kazuya has been fighting lately -- went through some type of break up ? --- i wonder if that has to do with this. "

" i think about them sometimes, " but that's not the answer to the question that was asked. does he miss them? all he thinks about is unanswered messages and missed calls and excuses upon excuses upon excuses when it comes to his old friends. " i think i miss the idea of them more than i actually miss them. " he misses not being so lonely, if nothing else. to not have to pretend that he was fine / wants to go back to a time when things were fine with him, inside his household, with friends he grew up with. " i've only been in tokyo for the entirety of my high school career. we came out here during my summer break; i told them i was moving and they stopped reaching out to me. it happens. " he's not upset over it... not if he doesn't think about it for too long. " i miss my family more. " a pause, " i can't imagine him hating you for something like this. "

kazuya shrugs, body following the turning action to rest on his side. " i don't know what's right. " everything is just stressed out and upsetting, he thinks. it's frustrating / he thinks back to the moment he saw atsumo walk into the building and it happens all over again. " ryou-yo's allowed to date. " fact. ryou tends to not date, but he is allowed to. " i didn't think i'd ever see 'tsumo again, " kazuya admits softly, more so to himself than to shuuzou. attention slips to his hands, rubbing fingers against palms. " much less with yo-yo. " he thinks and thinks and thinks / turns back into his back and breathes out a long sigh. " it feels like it was on purpose. "

murasakibara stands there aware, but stunned, gazed focused purely on momoi and nothing else. she cries and cries, trying to calm herself as she explains her worries to the both of them and for some reason, he feels like he's watching some sort of fire. like there's some house going up on flames somewhere and as it does, windows and doors are slowly finding theirselves closed, stealing away more and more oxygen. in a way / this is also his fault. not the current situation, but some testament to her stress. " this isnt that. " his gaze flickers to og, who only shakes his head and motions towards momoi. murasakibara reaches forward, lazy grip on his old friend's wrist as he pulls her in and wraps his arms around her.

" momoi-chan, " og starts, feeling her name escape him abruptly. " this isn't some middle school, basketball beef. it's not the same. they'll work it out. " he doesn't know his twin as well as momoi knows him, but he's had the displeasure of coming to learn what kazuya's like. he's a wrecking ball, much like himself, and usually seems capable of ruining everything in his path but og knows that he doesn't intend on doing that. it just happens. " they fight all the time, stuff like that happens. they're best friends, damn near brothers. " he doesn't know about momoi's past and people leaving but that isn't this. " they'll make up and it'll be fine, just watch. "

makoto nods once, hesitant. usually, he doesn't think about it / not until something like this happens and then it's the only thing on his mind for far too long. he's thinking about shuuzou human shielding himself in front of him, years and years ago, and then makoto never went back to that house / shuuzou always came to his instead, afterwards. " i was there. at some point we started only coming to my place instead because of it. that's how i knew something was wrong when he suddenly wanted me to come over and stay the night before he went off to america. i didn't know what it was until after... " that's old news, though. " and zuya... i knew he landed himself property damage charges before, " information about people flows like running rivers in kirisaki, " but this is my first time seeing him like this. i don't know what's going to happen anymore. "

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) Chapter 14a (Where Do We Go Now?) ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 14B: Where Do We Go Now?

Soundtrack: “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” Guns N’ Roses, 1987 [click here to listen]

Now and then when I see her face She takes me away to that special place And if I stare too long, I'd probably break down and cry

- Guns N’ Roses, “Sweet Child O’ Mine” (1987)

Tucson || July 1988

It didn’t matter what Colum or the label or anyone else said – all recording studios looked the same on the inside.

Sure, there were always small differences. The really comfortable couches at Sound City in Los Angeles. Electric Lady in Manhattan still had the really cool paint scheme that Jimi Hendrix himself had designed. Muscle Shoals in Alabama oozed coolness.

But this studio, whose name he couldn’t and didn’t care to remember, nestled down a back street in Tuscon was…tired.

Almost as tired as Jamie.

The “quick three week tour” had stretched to eight weeks, with no end in sight. Theater shows had been upgraded to arenas. Playing to thousands and thousands of ecstatic fans. Pouring their hearts out night after night after night, and squeezing in radio promos and sound checks and business meetings during the day.

Fucking exhilarating.

Everybody wanted a piece of Print – their music, their story. Jamie still hadn’t granted too many interviews this tour, but the press ate up every word he said about sobriety and music and forgiveness. Insatiable for details about the woman he had met in rehab, and written all the new songs about, and refused to name publicly.

Print was making more money than they knew what to do with. The label had sprung for a private plane, and nobody in the band missed the rickety and smelly tour bus (except Claire, because it was still all so new to her, which Jamie added to the list of thousands of reasons why he loved her). Their hotel rooms were bigger. Catering in the dressing rooms was much nicer.

Fucking exhausting.

So many people wanted a piece of Jamie every day. Ian and Angus, to run through the new material that just kept pouring out of them. Colum, to talk ticket sales and adding second and third nights in each city. The suits from the label, who kept finding them in Dallas and Kansas City and Detroit, slapping Jamie’s back and pushing terrible ideas for duets with pop stars or contributing to a movie soundtrack or pleading to do the acoustic set in a special for MTV.

And on top of that, some dirtbag reporter from the National Enquirer had figured out who Claire was, somehow got a hold of her personnel file from the hospital, and tracked down her shitty ex-husband for an exclusive interview. Splashed her life all over the tabloids, complete with very grainy photographs of the she and Jamie together, holding hands, on a rare day off in Nashville when he took her to a few honky-tonks. The one saving grace was that thankfully, nobody at The Ridge had said a word about anything about her time there, or the time they shared together.

Claire took it all in stride. She always understood. Holding him in the bathtub of their suite in Denver as he shook from another panic attack. Smiling over a three AM hamburger at a diner in Topeka. Whimpering as he came off stage in Atlanta, sweaty and keyed up from singing about her, hoisting her in his arms for a long kiss against the lighting equipment at side stage, heart stuttering to see his eye makeup smudged against her cheeks.

The man he was on the last tour – unhappy, unfulfilled, so deep in an addition he didn’t care to acknowledge – would not recognize the man he’d become on this tour.

“In ’86, we played seventy eight dates. We had a number one record. I bought my house, and my motorcycle, and my car.” Quietly he sipped coffee in their suite in Seattle, watching the city wake up, running his thumb over Claire’s shoulder as she settled against him in front of the window.

“You had everything you had always dreamed of.”

He snorted. “I was a mess. All I could think about during every show was how to find a girl or a bottle or a baggie as quickly as possible. And the crew would always do that for me.”

The crew respected his – and Claire’s – request for no drugs or alcohol backstage this tour. What the techs and roadies and production crew did on their own time, in their own hotel rooms, with whoever they wanted to – Jamie didn’t care. But for everyone to help with, to respect, his sobriety was a gift. And he never stopped saying thank you.

“If only those reporters could see you now – Jamie Fraser swaggering off stage for an Evian.”

He smiled. “And to kiss this beautiful doctor who for some reason keeps following him around. Because he loves her, more than any man has ever loved any woman.”

He wanted to provide for her. To shelter and protect her. To never leave her side ever again.

She didn’t need him to do any of that, of course. They’d talked about it many times. But she wanted him to do that. And the fact that she chose him, kept choosing him…that was why they kept going. Kept each other sober. Kept holding each other up.

They’d agreed that this time on tour was for her to understand this part of him – and to help both of them decide how and where they would live once the tour was done.

Which is why the radio silence from Boston, four weeks after mailing the letter from Philadelphia asking, politely, just what the hell was going on…was so fucking crushing.

The stress of that – and the grind of touring – did make it just a bit more difficult every day.

Thankfully Colum had scheduled a week-long break at the end of the month. Angus was already planning a trip to Aruba with the two groupies, who truth be told had grown on the rest of the band. Ian was planning to spend the week with his wife, Jamie’s sister Jenny, and their kids.

And Jamie and Claire – well, they’d be getting married.

Only a few people knew, with good reason. Ian and Jenny, of course. Alec and Faith, in New York. Colum. Dougal MacKenzie and his wife Gillian, who had helped both Jamie and Claire so much at The Ridge. Uncle Lamb, who would officiate. And Claire’s friends Joe and Gail Abernathy, who had quite literally saved her life by getting her to The Ridge in the first place.

The service would be simple. Exactly what they wanted – what they needed.

And after that…well. They would truly be husband and wife.

But there was a lot to do – a lot to take care of – between now and then. Not the least of which was, wrapping up this recording session.

The time laying down acoustic tracks in Philadelphia last month was very well spent. They weren't so rusty. But the guys were eager to hear the songs in electric form. And since they were in Tucson, and Colum knew Bobby Higgins – who not only owned this studio, but who had also produced that really killer Ratt album in ’84…

“OK, Jamie.”

Jamie took a deep breath, and looked up through the glass at Bobby, hunched over the console in the control room.

“Ready for take two?”

Jamie looked left, to Angus – and right, to Ian.

“Yup.”

“OK – this is In My Veins, take two.”

Jamie grit his teeth.

Caught Claire’s eye in the control room.

She smiled.

He relaxed.

Angus counted in on his drumsticks, and then started the heavy beat like they’d discussed.

Four bars – and Jamie’s guitar and Ian’s bass joined in.

--

“That was really, really great, Jamie.”

Claire handed him a new bottle of water, cap already twisted off. He drank it in four deep gulps.

“I know you’re not shitting me. So thank you.”

Quickly she looked over her shoulder – Angus’ cheeks were being loudly kissed by the groupies, and Ian played around with his bass, and Colum and Bobby were deep in conversation in the control room.

“Where are you?”

She had pulled him away before, when the panic attacks were coming, and he knew she’d do it again right now if needed.

He wiped his mouth with the back of a sweaty hand. “About an eight out of ten.”

“Do you need a break?”

He met her eyes. “I need a meeting. Been thinking about my old friend Jack Daniels all day.”

“Did you see something?”

He sighed. “I’ve only played electric a handful of times since I got back from The Ridge.” He looked down at the gorgeous Stratocaster strapped across his chest, fist flexing. “I got this guitar because the black tone and white trim matched the label on the bottle. Stupid, I know. But it’s all I could think about today.”

“Not stupid. We’ll deal with it. You should call Alec. And I can find you a meeting.”

He leaned in, and kissed her forehead. “I love you. I’ll call him. And I need to sell this guitar.”

She nodded. “We’ll find a charity.”

He kissed her again. “I love you.”

She kissed him quickly, and returned to the control room.

Grateful that Jamie had turned away to talk to the guys, when Colum tapped her on the shoulder, and slid over an envelope postmarked Boston.

“Mail call. Do I want to know?”

She shook her head, folded the letter, and slid it into the back pocket of her jeans. “Is there a Yellow Pages I can borrow?”

[spencersawkward]

i’m so happy ur on tumblr now!! i love between the lines so much, could you write a blurb or one shot about mgg and a younger co-star, but like very spicy if possible 🙃, idk i just love that scenario🥵.

i was literally about to write "omg i love this concept too!" and then i was like “well no fucking shit, sophi.” lol. YES i can 10/10 write you a one-shot with a similar scenario! also thank you for your kind words that was the first fic i ever wrote so it’s very near and dear to my heart!

summary: reader goes to a holiday party with her co-stars and best friend, Matthew... but all the fun happens in the dressing room.

content warnings: this one is quite dirty but i’m also proud of it lol. unprotected penetrative sex, oral (female receiving), degradation, use of the term “little girl,” creampie, age gap. dirty talk?

pairing: Fem!Reader/Matthew

word count: 4.7k

masterlist

"no."

"what do you mean, 'no’?” Matthew laughs, looking between me and the mirror.

"I look like the Ghost of Christmas Past." I lift up the soft white tulle of the dress, watching it float back down to settle over my skin. he's got his eyebrows raised and there's a smirk on his lips like he's holding back a laugh. I resist the urge to reach around and hit him.

"would you rather wear that?" he points to the punch-stained gown that's now laying pathetically over the back of the vanity chair. I genuinely ponder the idea for a moment.

"honestly, the crime scene vibes might work well with the theme of our show."

"seriously, it's not bad, Y/N!" he insists, drawing my attention back to the mirror.

"you're just saying that because you're the one who spilled on me and you don't want people making fun of how clumsy you are." I cross my arms over my chest. he gives me a dubious expression in our reflection on the wall.

"do I seem like I care about that?" he challenges.

"I--" the truth is that no, Matthew is not the type. Matthew is the kind of person to flounder in front of anyone and proceed to crack a joke about himself. he's humble. but I kind of like when we talk like this, our back and forth.

after a year of working together on the same show, he and I have grown incredibly close. I'm friends with all my co-stars, but he and I just have the natural friendship chemistry that makes me want to spend all my time with him. when we're not on set, we're hanging out on his couch or ordering dinner or driving out of town to check out wacky sites around California. we just have fun. pure, clean, honest fun.

of course, in my dreams it isn't pure or honest. frankly, there's a lot of sordid scandal to what goes on in my head when he accidentally touches my arm or brushes his fingers over mine. the amount of times I have gone to cast parties trying to work up the nerve to kiss him are embarrassing. he's older and more experienced and, obviously, he has no interest in me.

but that doesn't matter.

the only reason I'm standing in a dressing room alone with him is because he knew someone on the crew who could hook me up with a replacement for the night. he left while I slipped out of the old one and came back in only after knocking and checking, like, twice to make sure I was decent. he's so respectful that it's almost like he's afraid of making me think the wrong thing-- which makes me feel absolutely stupid for my almost schoolgirl crush.

"come on, you look great. let's go enjoy the party."

"was this a dress one of the victims was wearing?" I ask with a laugh.

"probably. not like we carry a lot of gowns on set." he grabs my hand, makes my heart leap into my throat. he only does it to urge me along, but it still feels intimate as I follow him out of the room, tossing one more evaluative glance at myself in the mirror. I seem terrified.

we continue to do our rounds at the party, Matthew filling my glass of eggnog even though I hate it. I wince and take a sip while we talk to some of our co-stars.

"what's wrong with you?" Shemar chuckles at my expression.

"lost a bet."

"with whom?" he glances between Matthew and me, knowing damn well already from the mischievous grin on the former's face.

"I told you not to take it." Matthew says over the rim of his glass.

"if you mention it one more time, I'm gonna throw up eggnog all over your outfit." I threaten him, but we're both smiling. Shemar frowns.

"what was the bet?"

"you know David-- the guy I was telling you about?" I reply quickly, determined to give my side of the story. Shemar nods; I told him last week when David oh-so-chivalrously danced up on me at a club and asked me out. usually in those situations, guys just want a one-night stand, so I was impressed and agreed. "anyway, Matthew said if it turned out that he was a weirdo, he would get to pick my drinks for the next week whenever we go out."

"your drinks? that's specific."

"she's so picky!" Matthew teases me.

"leave me alone, you dick!" I elbow him and he dodges just in time.

"tell him why he was a weirdo." he grins. the glare I give could kill. but Shemar is waiting expectantly for me to share the information, so I sigh and set my jaw before telling the truth.

"he collects antique dental tools."

"what?" Shemar laughs disbelievingly. I throw my hands up.

"I don't fucking know. we went back to his apartment and he showed me his whole collection."

"you're attracted to weird people, Y/N." Matthew says. I raise my eyebrows and almost say something that dooms me. I hold my tongue, however, and turn back to Shemar with a reserved smile.

"anyway, how are you?"

...

the cast holiday party is actually pretty fun. I tend to leave these functions early in favor of my couch and some ice cream, but something about the bright colors and the smell of wintergreen in the air makes me want to linger in the studio.

I stuff myself with sugar cookies and Matthew mercifully lets me switch from eggnog to Sprite. normally, I'd drink at such an occasion, but I'm a messy drunk and this is one of my first real jobs as an actress. I don't want to even come close to jeopardizing that by breaking some expensive equipment or something.

my throat gets a little sore from all the talking I do-- Paget and I spend about half an hour horribly belting out Christmas carols at the baby grand piano they brought in. they originally had someone hired to play it, but the guy disappeared about an hour ago.

by the time it hits around ten pm, my limbs are tired. I thought people would be leaving (a lot of them have families), but the party is still very much raging when I start to wind down. maybe it's because I'm sober.

"hey." Matthew sidles up next to me as I sit at the piano bench with a slice of lime in my mouth. I like to suck the juice out of them; sour things are my favorite.

"hi." I pluck the fruit out and drop it back into my soda. he sits next to me, his cologne filling my senses with the kind of sensual warmth that it shouldn't be making me feel. he always smells so good.

"ladylike." he gestures to the movement.

"is that why you call me 'princess?'" I smirk, half-joking.

"once-- I called you that once!" he defends. it's not a lie. he used the nickname when he was mocking me for my somewhat selective food preferences. it was sarcastic, but I wish it wasn't. something about the way he said it in the moment made me blush.

"is there a reason you've come to grate my nerves?" I raise an eyebrow and he turns away from me as he bites back a smile. I pout. "what?"

"you're talking like a Jane Austen novel."

"what's wrong with Jane Austen?" I defend, skin heating up. his proximity is doing things to me that it shouldn't.

"nothing," he glances at me before moving his gaze to the ivory keys. "do you play?"

"elementary level, sure." I giggle. he runs his fingers over them, never pressing down hard enough to release a sound. I'm entranced by the delicate nature of his actions, the veins and the curve of his fingertips, the sheer width of his hand. I think about it too much for it to be healthy.

"show me." it's a direct order, one that doesn't feel directive but still ends with me placing both hands on the piano and wracking my brain for something to play. I decide on a piece that Paget and I were doing earlier, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."

I've never been quite good at piano, and the nearness of his body is like an anvil on my fingers, but I play anyway. and it feels good. his eyes are on me, drawn to my tracings over the instrument as they press and lift and glide.

"sing." I tell him.

"no!" he protests. I don't stop playing, only now getting into the thick of the tune.

"oh, come on. just the chorus..." I plead, turning my head to beg. "please?"

I bat my lashes playfully, fully intending it as a joke, but Matthew softens a bit. for a fraction of a second, I think he looks at my mouth. he turns his head back to the piano and lets out a quiet "here we are as in olden days... happy golden days of yore..."

"there you go!" I egg him on, and he starts to get more into it. his voice is absolutely off-key; he's no singer, and somehow that makes him even more endearing to me.

Matthew has always been this flawless, intimidating figure in my mind. even when we first met, I was certain that he was hiding something because everything else about him is so... perfect. he's funny, sweet, genuinely kind, handsomer than hell. it didn't make sense. but knowing that he can't carry a tune makes me feel a bit better. it humanizes his beauty.

while he sings, I can't help looking at him. his side profile is even more enchanting; the curve of his features meeting a smooth elegance in his jaw and cheek, especially when his mouth is open. he catches me smiling at him and returns it with his own gleeful face, now totally fine with singing like a fool in front of everyone. nobody is even really looking at us-- they're several drinks in and lost in their own universe of drunken laughter.

there's something kind of magical about that, I think. we're sober. when the song draws to a close, I lift my fingers off the keys and into my lap.

"you're quite the Pavarotti." I joke.

"the who?" he furrows his brow with a smile.

"he's a famous opera singer."

"oh," he laughs, "thanks, Mozart."

I twist my face up as I hide my smile. this is also part of the reason I could never tell Matthew how I feel; we just fit together too well. he almost always gets my references and I understand his, even though there's an age gap between us. he's an old soul with a youthful heart.

"how's your night going?" I ask him softly, changing the subject. he sets his hands on his lap, absent-mindedly toying with his fingers. it's not a nervous tendency at all. he does it whenever we're on set.

"as of right now? pretty damn good." he replies with a smile. I get warm again at the implication. he doesn't mean it like that, but god, do I wish he did.

"very smooth." I compliment appreciatively.

"how about you?"

"it was kind of boring, but then this rando sat next to me and started singing Christmas songs and it got a little better." I say flatly, grabbing my glass off the top of the piano and running my fingertip over the rim. he drops his head in a giggle.

"you're something else."

"insult?" I clarify.

"definitely a compliment."

"I like compliments."

"well, I wasn't lying before. you look really beautiful in that dress."

"the murder dress?" I glance down at it to hide the absolute wideness of my eyes at his words. he's completely flustering me and I'm starting to find it hard to breathe. he said I look beautiful. not "pretty," not "great"-- beautiful.

"yes, the murder dress." he gets a little pink in his cheeks, and that makes me want to explode on the spot.

"well, say goodbye to it because I'm gonna go change back into my plebeian clothes," I stand from the piano bench. "it's past my bedtime."

Matthew looks up at me with an unreadable expression and I feel my heart flutter in my chest. I hate leaving him. "do you wanna come with me? like-- walk with me?"

"sure." he nods, stands, and follows behind. I can feel his presence like a delightful reminder of the emotions surging in my stomach. we wind through the crowd of party-goers until we end up back in the dressing room, away from the party. it's quiet.

Matthew walks in with me, carrying our drinks in his hand, and he's about to stroll back out so I can change when I touch his arm. the door shuts automatically behind him.

"wait," I swallow quickly. "can you unzip me?"

"oh." Matthew looks at me, then at the glasses in his arms, then at the vanity. he sets them down and comes back quickly, his frame behind me while his fingertips locate the little piece at the top of my gown. my breath hitches in my throat when he brushes over my spine by accident, one nail dragging accidentally against my skin as the fabric slowly gives way. I don't know if he hears it-- it's nearly imperceptible-- but he definitely hesitates once he reaches the place where my back starts to curve into my ass. he pauses, doesn't breathe until he reaches the end of the zipper.

"there you go." he mutters. his voice is a little more hoarse than usual, and he clears his throat as he steps away. I know he's going to back out. he's going to back out of the room and wait for me to slip into nothing and I know, somehow, that he's going to be thinking about how I look in here with my clothes off. he's going to wish he stayed.

and I'm going to wish he'd done more than stayed.

before I can lose my nerve and allow the moment to be swallowed up by practicality, I shrug the straps of the dress down my shoulders and let gravity take over. it drops to the floor, leaving me in only my bra and panties. I can sense him behind me; he's silent for a moment.

"Matthew." I say, the name sitting on my tongue like a sugar cube. perfectly formed, slowly dissolving.

"y-yeah?" he stutters for the first time since I've met him.

"are you looking at my ass right now?" I ask, still turned around. the way he's frozen in place tells me that I'm right.

"yeah." he admits.

"you can touch it, if you want." I murmur softly. part of me doesn't think this is real, the way each sentence leaves my throat like it's been pre-planned. truly, I don't understand how my brain is moving so quickly.

"are you... sure?" he's hesitant, but even I can taste the longing.

"yes."

his hand smooths over my butt, softly at first like he's still not believing his own eyes, before moving back to grab it. he squeezes the flesh, and a low exhale from him tells me that he's excited.

"do you want more?" my voice barely carries. my head is almost foggy from how good it is to have his grip on my body, even in such a simple way. I can feel myself getting wet.

"how much more?" his lips brush over my shoulder and I get goosebumps. my mouth opens and closes for a moment, searching for the right words.

"however much you want."

it's flint and steel, the way he sparks. the air literally leaves my lungs when Matthew grabs my hips and spins me around to face him. my lips part as I peer up at him, at the lust that now darkens those hazel eyes and the way he holds mine. his touch is certain. he pulls our bodies together, tilts my chin up to kiss me.

it's passionate, strong, the kind of kiss that causes me to lean back a bit just to receive the full force of his desire. but I return the affection easily, moaning into his mouth. I've never been held the way that Matthew holds me. like I'm made of sugar glass, like he wants desperately to feel the soft give of my skin and make a home of me.

the heat between our bodies is almost overwhelming, and I sigh when he subtly pushes our hips together. his erection is against my stomach.

"fuck." I mutter when I pull away for air. Matthew doesn't stop his perfect movements, though, tugging my earlobe between his teeth and starting to leave love bites up my skin and over my shoulder. he chuckles against my throat. I shiver.

"you alright, little girl?" he asks.

"just--" I let out a moan at the sensation of his fingers exploring my bare waist. he reaches behind me to unclasp my bra. "just surprised."

"about?" he slides the straps down my shoulders and looks me in the eye. the lack of physical contact makes me whine.

"that you want me."

"how is that surprising?" he smiles, using one index finger to guide me to look at him.

"you don't seem like it."

Matthew raises his eyebrows as if I'm a crazy person. truly dumbstruck. "what?"

"you-- well, I don't know." I frown, but Matthew takes my hand and moves it over his torso until my palm is resting over the considerable bulge in his pants.

"is this enough proof?"

I struggle for words, sputtering. "yeah-- yeah, it is."

he bucks into my hand a little and I bite my lip, eyes moving up to meet his. something passes between us that I don't fully understand, but feel in my bones. I have never, in my life, wanted someone to fuck me as much as I want Matthew to fuck me right now. my jaw clenches.

"I need you." I tell him like this is the most relevant piece of information that will ever pass between us. he smirks.

"yeah?"

"mhmm."

"then lean against the wall and let me give you what you deserve." he orders. for a second, I try to think through what he means. then I look behind me at the open space and back up, him following me closely. his hands move up to cup my breasts, kneading and tweaking my nipples as he kisses my lips. the coolness against my back causes me to gasp, and he swallows the sound with his tongue before moving down my body.

he's torturously slow, taking one of my nipples into his mouth while he shrugs off his suit jacket. he switches to my other peak, one hand splayed over my stomach, and then proceeds southward with his lips. his kisses are delicate, open-mouthed, as they find their way to the waistband of my panties.

he hooks his fingers in them and looks up at me.

"can I eat you out, baby?" he asks. I bite my lip.

"please." like a beg.

"oh, you're polite tonight." he smirks, tugging the garment down my legs and discarding it somewhere in the room. I don't respond, and he doesn't seem to need me to, because he pushes one leg up for better access to my pussy. "let's see if it lasts."

my back curves off of the wall involuntarily when he holds the flat of his tongue against my clit suddenly, trying to roll my hips against his face. my fingers tangle in his hair, one leg resting over his shoulder.

he starts to flick at my clit. I lose grasp of my own language.

"Matthew, that feels so good, I--"

he attaches himself to my bundle of nerves, seemingly turned on by the sounds I'm making for him. he groans as he laps at the wetness between my legs, dipping into my folds and sucking the soul out of me. I whine and use his curls as leverage to gain more friction. he peers up at me.

"needy little girl." he mumbles against my pussy. I shove him back into me.

"make me cum, then." I beg. I can practically feel the devilish smirk on his face as he devours me like he'll never get enough. every twist and lick of his tongue is sending me to new places. I'm panting, chest heaving, while I grab my own tits and buck into his mouth.

he moans. my orgasm hits me like a wave, causing me to nearly thrash with pleasure as I cry out.

"Matthew, keep going, fuck yes!" I feel tears prick the back of my eyes, the culmination almost too much to bear as we hold contact. he stares into my fucking soul as he eats me out, and I want to stay like this forever. it's hard to support myself with my legs going weak, but I love it. the sensations are otherworldly. it's only when I'm about to collapse that I push his face away from me.

"I love your pussy." he tells me, licking his lips as he sets my legs down. I grin and let my head fall back against the wall.

"thanks."

"come here, princess." he takes hold of my hips and guides me over to the mirror, turning me so that he's standing behind my frame. the pet name causes me to smile.

"what?" I reference our reflection. he stares at me, reaching around to squeeze my tits.

"I wanna fuck you in the mirror." such a vulgar thing, said so beautifully. he kisses my cheek. "if that's okay with you."

"I don't care what position we do as long as you're fucking me." I breathe honestly. he chuckles and draws me towards him so his clothed boner is against my ass. I reach behind and work the button on his pants. he undoes the ones on his shirt. we're silent, him watching my naked body move like he's trying to memorize every detail.

when he's finally stripped, he lets me stroke his cock for a couple moments before pushing my upper back forward so I'm holding onto the sides of the mirror. I see him biting his lip as he lines himself up at my entrance.

"you ready?" he checks. I nod and he smiles at me once. pushing in, the smile melts into a jaw-dropped haze, eyes rolling into the back of his head. "Y/N..."

"it's so big." I try to breathe. he's so deep, I grip the mirror until my knuckles turn white. he's going to snap my body in two with the angle of his cock, filling me easily.

"tight little thing." he grunts as he holds himself inside. I can only watch in shock as I try to adjust to the sheer feeling of him. Matthew runs his hands over my sides, my ass, touching whatever he can. "how's that?"

I start to wiggle my hips and he groans at the feeling of my walls desperately swallowing him up. "Matthew, I need it."

"need what?" he thrusts into me and I have to fight a scream.

"need you."

"fuck... yes." he hisses out, sliding into me. "you're so wet I don't even need to try."

I bite my lip to withhold my sounds and he stares me in the eyes in the mirror as he starts to fuck me harder, building a pace with his hips. he growls a little if he hits certain angles, getting ruthless.

"so many times when I wanted to be inside you, princess..." he trails off. I start to play with my clit with one hand, using the other to stabilize myself with the mirror. the idea turns me on.

"when?"

"whenever you have attitude," he pants. "tonight, in that innocent fucking dress. making me wanna pound you like a little slut."

I make a high-pitched sound at the shudder of pleasure that jolts through my stomach at his words, wanting more. I've never heard him talk this way before.

"Matthew, shit--" I rub myself in circles, caught between watching his face and watching the way his hips slam into mine.

"you're begging to be fucked, you know that?"

"am I?" I smile sweetly in the mirror. we're in our own world, locked in a fantasy that I never want to leave. I can feel him in every corner of my body, sinking beneath my skin. he digs his nails into my ass.

"mhmm." he hums. I can feel the familiar weight in my stomach that indicates how close I'm getting. a knot that screams to be undone by his perfect length. I would do anything for more of this. I can taste everything good in the world on my tongue.

"I'm so close." I whine.

"I can tell," he studies my face in the mirror. "so pretty when you're breaking."

"oh--" I feel my thighs tense and my body pulses, the euphoria almost overwhelming. we move steadily, rhythmically, and he pushes my climax to new levels. "faster." I cry.

Matthew is quick to respond, gripping me closer while he plows into me like he's never going to have my body again. the sound of it is filthy, perfect, a mess. he groans at the sensation of my cunt pulsating around his cock.

"cum for me, princess." he moans, losing himself in the embrace of my core. the foggy stare in his eyes is like drowning in the ocean. I sink below, not caring at all about the consequences of him inside me. fuck working together; I need him. "where should I cum?"

"in me." I groan.

"beg." he commands easily, watching my face contort in pleasure. I could pretend to fight it, to give a little attitude, but I don't want to. I love begging for him.

"fill me up, Matthew. please." each word punctuated by the breathlessness of my voice. he gets even more ferocious with me, beating up my pussy until I'm sure he's going to leave me sore.

"right there, right there," he gasps, hitting the same spot that makes me go cross-eyed. "such a good little slut."

his cum shoots into me, deep and warm and erotically twisted, and I nearly collapse. it feels weird, but so good at the same time. full. he groans out my name and withdraws, quick to grab my shoulders and hold me up as I almost fall. I hadn't realized that most of my body weight was supported purely by his thrusts.

"whoa." he lets out a tired laugh, gentle in his touch. I'm heaving air into my lungs.

"sorry." I apologize, my body unstable.

"are you okay?" he seems genuinely concerned and I nod.

"yeah, I'm fine. just a little overwhelmed."

"here," he scoops me into his arms and brings me over to the old love seat in the dressing room, laying his jacket down before putting me on top of it. "can I get you something?"

"Sprite." I gesture to the glass on the vanity, and he smiles as he goes to get it. I gulp down whatever remains of it. "thanks."

"of course." he keeps glancing at my face and the red marks on my hips where he was clutching me like a lifeline. "I'm sorry."

"what?" I set the cup down. "don't ever be sorry for fucking me like that."

"no, I meant--" he laughs, but then he sees my playful expression and realizes that I'm genuinely alright. I think my legs were asleep.

"you're a saint." I tell him. he frowns and shakes his head bashfully. I'm already getting up and collecting my clothes. "or maybe what we just did prevents you from reaching sainthood. I don't know."

he places his hand on my lower back, kisses my forehead tenderly.

"seriously. you're okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine," I assure him. "but I would be better with a milkshake."

Matthew breaks into a slow grin, staring at me like I've done something miraculous.

"how are you so perfect?"

[writerpeach]

Stamina

Berrygood Johyun x Male Reader

8885 words

Categories: smut, public sex, oral, anal

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Read on AFF

Read on AO3

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This piece took a while to finish, I started over at least twice and didn't really feel like editing it much anymore, so apologies if it's not up to my usual standards. I will be taking a long extended hiatus from writing after this chapter and figure out what exactly I want to do next. Thank you all for continuing to read my writing.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas <3

"Ugh, babe, I'm so full!"

Johyun slurped on the last bit of her noodles, bringing the large porcelain bowl to her red lips and drinking the leftover broth. She wiped her lips and let out a sound of satisfaction.

“I would hope so, you ate like a pig,” you teased, finishing your own ramen and washing it down with a small bottle of milk which aided in cooling your tongue. You could handle spice just fine, but this restaurant always made things just a bit spicier than you were used to, which always caught you off guard.

Johyun stuck her tongue out. “Come give this pig a kiss then,” she said, leaning over the table and puckered her lips. You graciously fulfilled her request and kissed her on the lips before taking one more drink.

“Too hot for you, baby?” Johyun asked, noticing your sniffling nose that you were trying to hide.

“Maybe, I’m okay though. It was good though.”

“This is still the best ramen place in Seoul. What should we do now?”

“I could go for some dessert. Something to offset all this spice,” you replied.

“I think if I eat anything else it’s going to go straight to my ass, baby.”

“Well then we better get you something else. I love your ass.”

“I know you do, baby, you’[re always staring at it,” Johyun teased.  “I think we should go for a run and work all this off. All these carbs and salt aren’t good for us.”

“Okay, but dessert-” you protested, not wanting to exercise at such a late hour.

“Dessert can wait, babe. It’s important for us to stay healthy.”

“Fine, you’re right.” Complaining wasn’t going to do you any good.

You hated working out. Cardio was your enemy, even a brisk walk left you out of breath.

The gym did have its benefits. Johyun always showed off her big round ass in very tight leggings, leaving little to the imagination as her defined plump buttcheeks swallowed up the fabric of her pants. You never would have stepped inside a gym voluntarily.

Johyun on the other hand loved to workout. It was part of her job to be in shape, and she worked out regularly, sometimes starting as soon as she woke up which you could never wrap your head around.

You had joined this particular gym as it was closest to your shared apartment and a close distance from both of your workplaces and had the benefit of being open 24/7, which you didn’t know was a benefit or a curse. Johyun insisted on paying up front for six months, insisting it would force you to commit to an exercise routine.

Making a quick pit stop at home to pick up water and change you held the door open for Johyun as she smiled and headed in first. She wore a pink shirt underneath a black jacket, while her lower half consisted of tight dark leggings, letting you see that wonderful plump ass and her full wide hips swaying as she entered.

This gym wasn’t like the other ones you had tried, full of loud gym rats who lived to lift weights and loved to let anyone know how much they could bench. It was smaller but still had plenty of various equipment and you never had to wait long for a machine to show up, allowing you to focus on what body parts you wanted to focus on or the dreaded cardio you loathed.

It was rather late when you entered, seeing a lack of anyone else in the gym. It was your lucky day. Your eyes scanned the rows of machines, deciding what you wanted to do first. Johyun settled on the elliptical first, taking a moment to warm her body up with a stretching routine.

You started simple, doing lat pulldowns while Johyun worked her arms and legs at the same time. You were tired after just one set, while she hadn’t even broken a sweat.

She moved to the row of treadmills facing a wall of mirrors, and you followed, taking a seat in a nearby weight bench and grabbed a set of free weights, using a heavier weight than you normally did as you tried to show off.

You had the perfect view of your girlfriend as she worked out, legs moving like a gazelle as the upped the incline right away. Her leggings hugged her ass perfectly, and you couldn’t decide where you wanted your eyes there or on her bouncing breasts as she jogged at a brisk pace.

“Babe, stop staring at my ass.” she whined as she caught you in the mirror even though you both knew she loved the attention.

“How can I when it looks so good? If you didn’t want me staring then you shouldn’t have worn those pants,” you replied, catching Johyun smiling in the same mirror you were caught with.

“Fair point. Look all you want, but we’re here to workout. I don’t want you slacking!”

“I am working out,” you said, demonstrating by doing more bicep curls in succession, making a point of flexing your muscles.

“My baby is so strong! Keep going!”

It was hard to focus when you were distracted by Johyun’s scrumptious ass, but you did what you could and at least pretended to finish more reps. Johyun meanwhile had increased the speed on her treadmill as her legs flowed gracefully like water and you were tired just watching her.

You exhaled loudly after doing three sets of ten, placing your dumbbells back on the rack and took a seat back on the bench, enjoying the view of Johyun’s bouncing backside as you took a long sip of ice cold water from your bottle.

While you tried to catch your breath Johyun winded her workout down, gradually decreasing the speed until the belt on the treadmill stopped moving. She spun around on her heels, giving off a sweet smile as she saw your lethargic body resting.

“We should work on your stamina, baby. You’re exhausted and you barely did anything,” she teased.

“I did plenty! I counted at least two hundred reps. I’m gonna be feeling it in the morning.”

“Is that so?” she asked, deciding to play along. “I’m proud of you, baby.”

“Thank you,” you said as you abruptly pulled her onto your lap, close enough to smell the honeysuckle scent of her shampoo that reminded you of candy.

“I forget how horny you always get after working out,” Johyun said, tucking a strand of hair behind her hair.

“You can’t blame me when your butt looks that good in leggings,” you said, giving her ass a soft smack.

“It really does, doesn’t it?” Johyun replied, tilting her head to one side as she gave you a kiss, letting you taste her sweet lip gloss on her puckered lips.

“Now, who’s horny?”

“You caught me,” Johyun said. “We should go shower, the hot water here lasts forever.’

“We didn’t bring anything to change into and there aren’t towels after hours. We can save water and I’ll clean you up instead,” you said as you dove into her neck, running your tongue and collecting her perspiration.

“Babe, no, I’m so sweaty!”

“I know. I love it,” you said as you continued to lick the sweat off of her neck, finding her taste succulent.

“I have a better idea,” she said as she brought her lips to the side of your face, turning her voice into a mere whisper.

“I wanna suck your cock, baby.”

Her lewd words sent a shiver up your spine and you felt yourself hardening already.

“We better get going then-”

Johyun shook her head, letting her intentions be obviously known.

“I can’t wait until we’re home, baby. I wanna suck your dick right here.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “Someone could come in and see, I don’t think this a good idea-”

Johyun interrupted you by placing a finger to your lips, silencing any further protests. “It’ll be fine. I come here almost every night and not a single person shows up. This neighborhood is full of old people so they workout in the early morning.”

“Just relax, baby. Nobody will be here,” Johyun said, giving another kiss as she used your chest to dismount your lap and lowered to her knees slowly, placing both hands in her lap and eagerly looking up.

“I want to gag on your cock, baby. I’m dying to feel it throbbing in the back of my throat, baby, please, I need your cock so bad.”

Well fuck. She had you under her spell, and you certainly weren’t going to deny a woman begging to suck your cock. Johyun smiled happily as she hooked her fingers into the waistband of your gym shorts, pulling them down to your ankles and exposing the bulge in your boxers.

“It must have been so difficult trying not to get hard while you were staring at my tight ass,” Johyun said as she pulled your cock out of your boxers, gripping it tightly and stroking, causing your first moan.

Johyun was an impatient woman which let to situations like this, wanting to have sex in as many public place as possible, now adding a gym to the list of checked off places.

“You’re like a rock already,” Johyun smiled as she gave a soft kiss on your tip, pulling the rest of your boxers down to your ankles as she squeezed your cock tighter, giving firmer strokes that made your throbbing shaft leak over her fingers.

You weren’t expecting the night to end with your pants around your ankles at your local gym, but Johyun’s spontaneity kept you on your toes.

Johyun didn’t waste time as she flattened her tongue against your shaft and slowly painted your cock with it, delivering long drawn-out strokes that caused pleasure already. She teased your swollen tip, swirling her wet tongue around it several times to increase your pre-cum, lapping up every drop of the colorless liquid.

“It’s too bad I didn’t bring my purse. You could have fucked my ass here in the gym,” Johyun taunted with a deadly smirk, knowing she always came prepared.

“We’ll just have to save that for later though,” Johyun said as she licked more of your cock, running her tongue over every surface and tasting it like it was a delicious treat for her, which it certainly was.

You never got tired of Johyun’s need to please you in public, and even though you caught yourself nervously looking around, you couldn’t help but selfishly want more.

“What is it, baby?” Johyun asked, spitting on your cock several times and jerking you off with her soft small hand as she spread her warm saliva all over.

“I wanna see your tits,” you replied, without a moment of hesitation.

“All you had to do was ask,” Johyun said as she grabbed the hem of her white top and lifted it up up and over her head, showing off an orange and red bra that you had never seen before that contained her full large breasts, the coloring popping out in the gym lights.

“Is that new?” you asked, unable to take your eyes off from her chest and taking note at how well her breasts were pushed up.

“This? It’s from my last photoshoot, they always let me keep what I model,” Johyun said. You knew she loved showing herself off during lingerie shoots, but always felt a little jealous, something she always sensed.  

“Don’t worry, baby. Everyone gets to see me with this on, but you’re the only person who gets to see me with it off,” she said, giving a reassuring smile. She kept stroking your cock slowly with one hand while the other reached behind her back, unclasping her bra. Johyun tossed it aside, exposing her large milky breasts and nothing could take your eyes off them.

Your mouth watered at the sight of her huge tits. Johyun did her best to distract you as she planted several kisses on both sides of your cock, throbbing with each contact of her lips in preparation for what was next.

“You’re so hard for me, baby,” she said, kissing and licking your tip several times, and you responded with a low groan.

“You make me so hard.”

Johyun licked her lips and ran them along both sides of your needy shaft, giving your cock one final tease. You were both more than ready as her warm lips parted with your hard shaft in between, applying a light suction as she gently sucked your tip.

You gasped at the feeling of Johyun’s soft lips wrapped around your cock as they slid back and forth, her wet tongue adding more stimulation as it played with your sensitive underside.

Johyun’s warm wet mouth felt amazing, even better the deeper she took you inside it. She swallowed up half of your shaft as she bobbed her head up and down, slurping on your cock loudly. Her tongue swirled around your cock as more of it disappeared into her warm cavern, adding endless pleasure that ran through your whole body.

“Fuck, baby, that feels so good,” you moaned as Johyun kept eye contact, watching the pleasure she was giving. Her lips were sealed tight around your throbbing cock, bobbing her head faster as she quickly covered your cock in drool.

“It’ll feel even better if you fuck my face.”

The look in her lust-filled eyes was the only invitation you needed. Johyun stuck her tongue out as you slapped your hard shaft on it several times, giving off several loud smacks as you pushed back inside the warmth of her mouth.

Johyun’s need was visible and you didn’t dawdle, grabbing onto both sides of her head and forcibly started thrusting into her mouth, fucking your girlfriend’s pretty face in the middle of your favorite gym.

You were rough right away, not letting Johyun take any adjustment as you stuffed her throat with as much cock as possible, using her wet warm mouth like a toy for your own selfish pleasure. With each movement of your hips Johyun gagged repeatedly and drool spilling out of the corners of her lips, coating your shaft in saliva as she looked up with teary eyes with nothing but satisfaction.

The only sounds that could be heard were needy pleasurable moans you both gave off and Johyun loudly gagging on your cock as her gorgeous sparkling eyes filled with tears. Wrapping your fingers around strands of hair you increased your pace even more, moving in a harsher manner drool overflowed out of her lips and spilled down to her full perfect breasts, turning her stunning face into a beautiful mess that encouraged your thrusts to be even rougher.

“You like that, baby? You like when I use you?” you growled as you slammed your shaft deep down her throat as possible, sliding every inch of your wet shaft and out mercilessly as Johyun braced herself by holding onto your thighs.

If not for the look of wanton lust in Johyun’s eyes you would have been worried about hurting her, her nails digging into your skin signaling you were meeting her standards. Not wanting to finish abruptly you slowed down your pace and held Johyun against your base, her cute nose flushed with your stomach as she looked up and continued gagging, signaling for a break as she slapped your thighs several times.

When you released her with a loud pop she gasped for air as several strands of spit connected her messy mouth to your shaft, and you slapped her gorgeous face with your cock repeatedly and rubbed your tip all over.

“You were so rough, baby. I love choking on your cock, “ Johyun said with a huge smile as she leftover spit dripped out of her mouth and she spread it all over your cock.

“We shouldn’t let all this spit go to waste,” she said as she batted her eyes, taking your cock and slapping her soft heavy breasts with it before rubbing your tip up and down her cleavage.

“I know just what you want, baby.”

With a kiss on your swollen tip Johyun slipped your throbbing cock in between her huge pillowy breasts, trapping it in between warm flesh and squeezed her tits tightly to keep you from escaping.

“Oh fuck.”

Johyun smiled sweetly and didn’t waste time, moving her chest up and down as she used her abundant chest to grind up and down your body and create delicious friction. The pleasure was intense as you watched your tip disappearing in and out of her wet cleavage with ease, being lubricated properly as your cock was surrounded by soft warm flesh.

“You like fucking these big tits?” Johyun asked as she added more drool, spitting on your cock several times to ensure the friction remained as smooth as possible. The warm mounds around your cock caused endless pleasure as her huge breasts did their job, sliding up and down around your shaft that was locked up in between her warm cleavage.    

“Fuck, baby, you know I do. It feels so fucking good.”

“You’re so easily controlled,“ Johyun teased. “I love how much my tits turn you on.”

She wrapped her soft breasts tighter, interlocking her fingers and squeezing your cock more with warm flesh everywhere that drove you insane. Johyun did her best to lick your swollen cockhead when it became visible again, sending even more electricity shooting up and down your spine with every strike of her wet tongue.

You worked together to achieve pleasure in tandem with Johyun, thrusting in between her huge soft mounds as she grinded them against your pelvis, making you moan loudly for her how good they felt around your dick.

“F-fuck, baby-”

You felt that annoying tightness in your loins that always showed up at the worst possible moment.

“You’re going to cum already?” Johyun frowned as she tightened the warm flesh around your needy throbbing shaft, not that there was anything you could have done to prevent it.

“My tits must be too much to handle,” Johyun smirked.

Truer words had never been said. You didn’t know how much longer you had, but it wasn’t more than a few seconds. Johyun’s assault with her breasts was deadly, and you couldn’t take it any longer. Savoring those final moments you watched your cock slipping in and out of her fleshy pillows, setting off your orgasm like she had just lit the fuse of a stick of dynamite.

“Cum for me, baby. Make a mess all over me.”

With a final glance between the soft flesh your cock was sandwiched in between, you throbbed wildly as you erupted in between Johyun’s tits as your toes curled. While your cock had disappeared in between her deep cleavage you filled it with several thick spurts, helping to lubricate your constant pumping motions, splashing her pretty lips and chin and painting her features white as you groaned incessantly.

Your legs shook as you were milked all over Johyun’s tits, white stickiness coated her skin as you struggled for air, your orgasm taking control of your body as Johyun rubbed your warmth into her skin, looking into one of the gym mirrors at the mess you made all over her and smiling proudly.

“We really need to work on your stamina,” she teased with her earlier words, drawing her tongue around your shaft to make sure everything had been given to her.

“Rest for a little bit, baby,” she said, flicking her tongue against your sensitive slit that caused a reaction in your whole body.

While you tried to regain your senses Johyun stood to her knees and playfully pushed you against the weight bench as you stepped out of your pants and boxers, still gasping for breath as you laid down.

She didn’t say another word as she faced away from you, still watching your reaction in the large mirror as she bent over and slowly peeled her leggings off, revealing a matching orange thong nestled in between her tight round ass.

You could feel your erection coming back to life already. Johyun kept her body bent over, rubbing her thighs before squeezing her ass, giving you the show of a lifetime. She spanked her ass on each side, the smack echoing as she wiggled her hips and shook her ass before pulling down her thong painfully slow an inch at a time, displaying her bare body for your eyes to marvel over.

Johyun’s backside was the work of hundreds of squats and dozens and dozens of hours at the game, and it was worth all that effort. You were able to see her naked body in full glory, those luscious long legs and thick creamy thighs, her beautiful ass and bare shaven pussy that looked like heaven, pink flesh dripping with arousal as you were ready for a taste.

“Since you’ve been appreciating my ass all day, I think you deserve a closer look.”

Your mouth salivated in anticipation and before you could even take another breath Johyun made her way over to the head of the weight bench, facing away from you. In one swift movement she took a squatting position and lowered herself onto you, the flesh of her bare soft ass pressed firmly against your skin, squishing your face.

There was nothing more you loved than to be Johyun’s chair, especially after a workout as you felt the warmth of her sweaty thighs surrounding your face.

“Do you like when I sit on your face, baby?” Johyun asked as she looked over her shoulder, the comforting warmth of her body pressed down as she put more weight down and smothered your face with her supple cheeks.

You found it hard to both breathe and speak, unable to form a response as you squeezed her ass in response, slapping each of her cheeks that rippled. You didn’t need to breathe when you could be suffocated by Johyun’s delicious plump ass. Blood flowed freely to your loins again, causing your erection to be at full attention.

“I can’t believe you’re hard again already,” Johyun said as she leaned forward and gripped your cock, resting a hand on your thigh while she stroked your shaft. You reciprocated and focused on giving pleasure as you licked her pink wet slit several times, making her moan.

“F-fuck, that feels good,” she moaned as she began bouncing her ass on your face, spreading her juices all over. You traced the outline of her pussy, sliding your tongue through her folds and exploring every surface you could find.

“Can you breathe, baby?”

You shook your head as you gave her pleasure, neither of you seeming to care. You saw nothing but delicious flesh in your vision as you ran your tongue through Johyun’s wetness, making her moan with every delicate movement you made.

“I can’t believe my naughty boyfriend loves being suffocated with my ass so much," she said, grinding her backside back and forth while she kept stroking your shaft.

You kneaded her soft cheeks with your hands, digging your fingers into her warm flesh. Her juices collected on your tongue and you couldn't get enough of her delicious juices spilling into your mouth.

"Mmm, fuck, that tongue feels so good. Eat my fucking pussy."

Giving several slaps on her bottom you had enough teasing and sucked on her swollen clit, making her thighs squeeze around your head tighter as she moaned with satisfaction.

Johyun kept you in between her thick thighs and you couldn't think of a better place to be then nestled under the comfort of her warm cheeks, tasting her delicious pussy like it was a full course meal.  

While you became Johyun’s personal bench, time no longer existed as you ate Johyun out. You could have been there for a few minutes or hours, keeping your hands full of her cheeks as you licked her wet pussy everywhere. You wandered aimlessly as your face became wetter with each swipe of your tongue, giving her as much pleasure as possible.

It didn’t take long for Johyun to grow selfish, no longer caring about your pleasure but focusing on her own as she rested her hands on your thighs and shoved her ass against your face. You loved everything about her taste, the way her juices flowed into your mouth and you never wanted to stop until your tongue had gone numb, grabbing her hips and forcing your tongue as deep into her tasty cunt as it would go.

“Make me cum, baby. I’m so close,” she said, closing her eyes momentarily as she moaned lustfully, wanting to savor this moment forever. Lips closed on her clit you slurped her juices that leaked out, desperate for more to fill your palette and helping her chase the end that was in sight.

“B-baby, don’t stop, please fucking stop, I’m going to cum on your face-”

It didn’t take long. Johyun’s thighs put your head in a vice-like grip, digging her nails into your skin as she hit her peak and screamed in pleasure. You felt wetness gushing everywhere, coating your face in her sweet essence as her toes curled and the thighs around your head violently trembled.

You did what you could to help her ride out her orgasm, running your tongue through every surface that contained her juices, cleaning her up and making sure not to waste a drop. It took several moments for her orgasm to subside as she released you from the constricting hold she had on you, allowing you to breathe for the first time in several minutes as you gasped for air.

“H-holy shit, baby, I came so hard,” Johyun said as she gingerly turned around to face you once more, looking down at the mess she had just left deposited on your face. You showed your appreciation by licking your lips, not even bothering to wipe her juices from your face as you pulled her into a kiss, making her taste herself on your tired lips.

“You taste so good. I wish I could eat you for every meal.”

Johyun laughed at your cheesiness, giving you another deep passionate kiss as she held onto both sides of your face.

“You made me feel so good. I want to make you feel even better.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Well...seeing as you’re still rock hard for me,” she laughed, looking back and grabbing your throbbing hard cock.

“How about I ride you, baby? You did all the work for me, so I’ll do all the work for you now.”

“Ride my cock, then.”

Johyun was quick in her approach as she climbed onto the weight bench and straddled your lap as her soft thick thighs wrapped around your waist. There was lust and hunger in her eyes as she reached back behind her and claimed your hard cock, stroking it several times and couldn’t wait to be filled up with it.

“I want you so badly, baby. Fill me up with that thick cock, will you do that for me?”

“Of course. Whatever you want, baby.”

Johyun lifted her body up, letting you see the pink glistening flesh that was your destination, rubbing your tip in between her wet folds. She felt wetter than she had when your tongue was inside, and you wanted that wetness all over your cock, something you weren’t going to wait long for.

Carefully lining up your cock with her pussy, Johyun aimed it at her dripping hot entrance. She bit her lip in preparation and pushed her hips down, parting her silky lips as she sank down and let every inch enter her body with a loud greedy moan.

“Baby, you’re so big,” Johyun said, taking a moment to gather herself as she took a deep breath. Her tight dripping walls were so warm, squeezing your shaft to make sure you weren’t leaving her body anytime soon.

With hands on her slim tight waist you shared exchanged glances of lust, waiting for the pleasure to be delivered equally.

“Ride that cock, baby” you demanded, as if she were looking for your permission. Johyun placed both hands on your chest, flashing a smile as she moved in small motions, using her hips to grind on your cock.

You felt wetness and warmth surrounding your shaft, amplified by every rock of her hips. Johyun took it slow at first, watching herself in the gym mirror.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Johyun said as she rode your cock, establishing a rhythm. Every entrance into her pussy caused a satisfied moan to escape her lips as she took you deep into her body.

Her pace quickened, hips working in smooth movements as she took your shaft inside with ease, juices lubricating to make every motion fluid as could be.

Johyun was so wet and tight around your cock as her perfect large breasts bounced up and down beautifully. You captured both mounds in your hands, squeezing the delightful soft flesh with your fingertips.

You felt your cock bring drenched with juices as Johyun rode you harder, bouncing her ass on your crotch.

With Johyun’s soft breasts in your hands you massaged them, pinching her rosy pink nipples that had stiffened at your touch. You quickly gave each of her voluptuous tits a slap, causing a gasp from Johyun as she tightened around you, signaling her enjoyment.

"Oh fuck, baby. Slap those big tits!"

You did as she asked, slapping each of tits individually in succession several times, pinching her nipples in between. You slapped both tits at the same time over and over, watching the satisfying ripple of soft flesh and the loud smack of flesh on flesh as you left your handprints on the tender skin. Johyun let out several desperate needy moans, her pussy constricting even more around your shaft.

Massaging the now tender skin, you fondled Johyun’s sore breasts, playing with her nipples as you brought your mouth to her chest, kissing each mound before licking stripes up and down her cleavage, tasting the sweat collected already.  

She flashed a look of appreciation as you dove in, latching your lips onto each of her sensitive nipples, hungrily sucking each one. Johyun whined as you slurped on her juicy tits, bouncing carelessly on your cock as you covered them in saliva, biting, licking, and sucking on her tits as if you couldn’t ever have your fill.

Johyun became more aggressive, slamming her body down hard on you as her sweaty thighs met your own, each bounce more forceful, more full of wanton desire. You kept your assault on her breasts going, giving teasing flicks against her sensitive nipples as you felt your cock being drowned in her juices.

You ran your hands all over Johyun’s sweaty body, feeling every curve of her perfectly sculpted body. Johyun moved swiftly and grabbed the back of your head, pushing you deep into her cleavage and smothering you with her large heavy breasts, the perfect resting space for your face.

“You’re gonna make me cum, baby!” Johyun cried out, as for the second time you felt it hard to breathe, not that you ever would have complained. Her nails dug into your skull as she forced you deeper into her tits, enjoying being smothered by the softest pair of pillows you’ve ever felt.

Johyun aggressively rode your cock as you tried to ilck whatever flushed skin you could find, wildly moving her hips without a care, the loud slap of skin on skin echoing all around the gym walls.

“Cum on my cock,” you muffled out, feeling the tight dripping walls of Johyun’s needy pussy pulsating around you harshly.

“I-will, f-fuck! I’m cumming, baby!”

It was quick and wordless, moans escaping Johyun’s throat as she rode you to completion. Her bouncing thighs felt so warm and soft as they crashed against your body, as did her delicious buttcheeks smacking against your own skin. In seconds flat Johyun became a loud squirming mess, drenching your crotch with her nectar as her thighs trembled violently. Her warm wet pussy pulsated while you let her have your way with you until her intense orgasm settled down.

You didn’t let up, pumping your shaft inside Johyun to catch up, desperately wanting to chase your own orgasm as well. With the intense pressure around your cock you pumped harshly inside, the slapping of your skin against her own as you fucked her, squeezing her delicious round ass.

“Are you close, baby?” Johyun asked, her voice still frail from her climax as her glazed over eyes struggled to keep open as she flashed a sweet smile.

You answered only with words, bouncing Johyun aggressively on your cock repeatedly as your eyes were unable to focus on anything besides her bouncing tits.

“I want you to cum now. Fill me up and cum inside me, please, baby, please cum for me,” Johyun begged, and it wouldn’t be much longer before she would have her wish.

The air inside the gym grew harder to breathe as you reached those final moments, watching the lustful look inside Johyun’s eyes as you both waited for the inevitable.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Johyun,” you said the final set of words before the pleasure in your body became too much to handle. With one more set of thrusts you buried your cock deep inside Johyun as your cock throbbed, mercifully emptying several spurts of hot thick semen deep into her walls all the way to her womb and keeping your hands full of her delicious asscheeks.

Johyun kept her eyes on you as you finished emptying your seed deep into her cunt, letting her pussy milk your shaft of every last drop until she had taken everything into her body as your body shook from the pleasure of such an intense orgasm.

“That’s what I like, baby,” Johyun said with a pleased smile, leaning down to give one more kiss before gently lifting her tight naked body from your depleted shaft. Your cock released from her pussy with a loud forceful pop as your freshly deposited load slowly leaked from between Johyun’s thick thighs, releasing a creamy liquid mixture of both of your bodies that escaped from her freshly fucked pussy.

“We really made a mess,” Johyun shyly said, using her tongue to clean off your cock before before grabbing the closest towel and wiping off the workout bench.

“I blame you,” you teased, still catching your breath. “Let’s get out of here and take that shower.”

✦✦

It was a safe assumption to say that Johyun was a bit of a screamer. And there was no better place to let out her lustful emotions than in your shared apartment underneath the hot water currently steaming up your large bathroom.

Water droplets bounced off Johyun’s milky wet skin as you pinned her tight naked body against the shower door, smacking your hips against her ass in a rhythm as you drilled her harshly from behind. Her large round breasts were mashed against the glass surface as her palms flattened against it, desperate to find any outlet for the sharp pleasure running up her spine as she was impaled to the hilt with a thick cock repeatedly without mercy.

“F-fuck, that’s so good! Just like that baby, don’t stop fucking me!” Johyun moaned as your hands squeezed her hips tightly, making sure her body never left your fingers.  

Hot water ran down both of your bodies, accentuating the already flawless curves of Johyun’s naked body as the smack of flesh on flesh echoed around the shower walls, mixing with needy screams and cries of pleasure. The shower door shook with every thrust of your shaft, moving in and out of her pussy carelessly as your hands moved from Johyun’s full wide hips up to her soapy wet breasts and squeezed firmly.

“You like being fucked like this?” you growled near Johyun’s ear, feeling her wet walls clenching around your cock in response that brought a smile on your features from ear to ear as your bodies crashed together and you nibbled on her earlobe.  

“Y-yes, f-fuck, yes, baby I do!”

While you appreciated Johyun’s love of public sex and the thrill it brought, you vastly preferred fucking her in the privacy and comfort of your apartment, able to freely let out your raw emotions and be as loud as you wanted without bothering anyone else.

You gave Johyun a handful more thrusts before letting your cock slip out of her tight pussy as she whined cutely from being abruptly empty, a feeling that wouldn’t last long thankfully.

Taking a moment to admire the view, every curve and naked flesh of Johyun’s bare body, you rubbed your wet shaft all over the inner flesh of her warm soapy thighs, and she knew just what to do as her thighs closed around your shaft, trapping you in between them - one of your favorite places to be.

Johyun’s sculpted body was nothing but perfect, every body part flawless and worked together to create a work of art. It was regretful to not be able to see Johyun’s big supple breasts, your favorite part of her body if you had to pick one, but being able to fuck her thighs was just as pleasurable to you.

Her thighs brought immense pleasure, just as much as other parts of her body. They were thick, creamy, and most importantly felt amazing wrapped around your dick, you never wanted to leave their comfort.

They felt softer than silk as your cock was sandwiched in between her warm flesh, using her muscles and squeezing tight to keep you trapped inside her thighs, a destination you never wanted to leave.

“Mmm, baby, fuck those thighs,” Johyun pleaded, as your throbbing cock slowy slid in and out of her soft flesh, the body wash left all over her body making it the perfect lubricant to allow the smoothest friction possible. You held onto Johyun’s insanely wide hips, letting out needy groans that echoed as your shaft was being smothered by the softest thing you’ve ever felt and giving off heavenly sensations.

You closed your eyes for just a moment, allowing yourself to fully appreciate the feeling of delicious soft flesh surrounding your cock as your pace increased. When you opened your eyes back up you felt a wetness forming, not just from the shower but the juices from Johyun’s leaking pussy, aiding your ability to thrust even more so and ensuring this was something you were both enjoying.

“That feels so good, baby. Does it feel good for you? Does it feel good to fuck my thighs?” Johyun asked, her legs squeezing even tighter as you gasped at the pleasure that was driving you insane.

You didn’t feel like answering, not that Johyun didn’t already know how good you felt in that moment as every bit of pleasure shot through each section of your body, jolts of electricity putting you in a deep euphoric state.

“I wish I could fuck these thighs forever,” you said, increasing your pace even more as you felt a familiar tightness in your abdomen, a sensation you were equal parts thankful and annoyed at.

“If you work on your stamina maybe you can,” Johyun teased, and you couldn’t think of a better set of motivation.

It was like your body was taunting you as you felt your climax approaching right then, a moment that Johyun couldn’t help but notice, but you still felt the need to announce.

“I’m going to fucking cum,” you hissed, louder than expected.

“Cum for me, baby. Make a mess all over my thighs.”

It really didn’t take much longer. Gripping her hips tightly as you could, you kept the slippery motion going until you knew you had to give in, throbbing between the warm flesh you were trapped between as you shot hot cum onto Johyun’s thighs, grunting with every spurt as the rest of your load sprayed the shower door.

You kept pumping in between Johyun’s thighs as long as you could stand it, never wanting to forget the euphoric feeling as your cock was milked again for the second time. Your thrusts began subsiding until your sensitivity kicked in and you could barely move, resting between Johyun’s warm thighs as you recovered, catching your breath.

You slowly withdrew from the warmth of Johyun as she spun around to meet you, a smile curled on her lips.

“We didn’t get very clean did we?” Johyun said with a cute tilt of her head, grabbing the shower head as she washed the suds off her body.

“I only have you to blame.”

Johyun’s mouth opened in surprise. “Me? You have your share too!” she whined in protest.

“But you seduced me with your body. Like you always do.”

She couldn’t help but giggle. “You caught me. I’m guilty," she said with a perfect smile on such a perfect face as she made sure to wash off every bit of soap before turning off the water.

The two of you stepped out of the shower, Johyun grabbing a towel to tie up her hair while she dried the rest of her body. It didn't take you long to towel off as you headed into the bedroom and flopped face first into the sheets with exhaustion, not even bothering to get dressed.

Johyun stepped out of the shower shortly after, tossing her towel off her hair when she saw your lifeless body on the bed and joining, pressing her body against yours as you could feel her breasts on your back.

"Baby, don't tell me you're going to sleep already. You still need to fuck me some more," she said abruptly.

"You wore me out," you replied, grabbing a pillow and burying your face in it, pretending to sleep.

"Baby…" Johyun whined, rubbing your shoulders and kissing the back of your neck.

"I can't believe we had sex in the gym and nobody caught us," Johyun said.

You lazily flipped around, meeting her gaze as her hands rested on your shoulders.

"We shouldn't have gotten caught since you said nobody goes there at night."

"Usually."

"Usually?" you repeated.

"Nobody showed up the few times I went there, so it was a safe assumption."

"Few times? I thought you went there every night."

"I do, but I just started going there a couple weeks ago," Johyun said, smiling mischievously.

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you had been tricked.

"But you know the neighborhood, right? Nothing but old people?"

"I have no idea, baby. I just go there after work," she said as her grin increased.

"Johyun. We really could have gotten caught-"

"But we didn't, did we?"

"You're bad."

"Oh? Am I?" Johyun asked as she bit the tip of one of her fingertips.

"Yes. My baby was naughty tonight wasn't she?"

"But you love when I'm naughty don't you?"

“You know I do. You’re my naughty little slut,” you said, responding with a quick slap on her bare ass, causing a gasp to escape her lips.

“Are you going to punish your naughty little slut?” Johyun asked, biting her lip deeply and staring into with the deepest gaze.

“I just might do that. How should I punish you?”

“You should fuck me. Fuck me so hard that I can’t walk tomorrow. “

You furrowed an eyebrow in response at such something relatively tame. “But I do that every day, that doesn’t like much of a punishment. “

“Then fuck me here,” Johyun said as she guided one your hands between her plump ass, spreading her cheeks to let you know just where she wanted you. You teased her puckered hole with your middle finger, looking at the look of approval in her eyes.

“Is there where you want it? You want my cock right here?” you asked.

Johyun playfully nodded. “I know you’ve been dying to fuck my ass since we left the gym. Well now you have the chance, don’t you baby?” she asked, gesturing towards the bedside table drawer.

You both smiled together as Johyun climbed off your body, positioning herself onto the bed on her hands and knees while you grabbed a bottle from the drawer. You never got tired of the sight of Johyun’s big round ass as you lined yourself, feeling the blood to your loins again as you were hard as a rock.

Before you did anything you squeezed Johyun’s buttcheeks firmly, giving each one a hard slap as her soft flesh rippled. You gave her beautiful supple ass repeated smacks, the loud crack of your palm on her flesh until her cheeks had a light pink tone on them, continuing to smack Johyun’s plump ass until you were satisfied.

“Is this my punishment?”

“Of course not, baby. I know you love this too much.”

You caught a smirk on Johyun’s face as she looked over her shoulder, watching as you continued slapping her ass under her skin was sore, rubbing your hands all over her skin to soothe out the stinging sensations.

“I do love it,” Johyun said, wiggling her ass cheeks as you continued caressing her tender skin.

“But I’ll love it even more when you put that cock in my ass,” she said with a devilish smile that you returned. You lubed up her tight puckered hole and your shaft, admiring what a perfect backside she had as you gave her body a gentle push. Johyun got the hint, sliding her long legs under your body and laying flat on her stomach, allowing you to take her at your mercy as her naked body was completely prone.

You positioned yourself carefully after taking a moment to admire Johyun’s full supple ass and the soft cheeks you were about to drive yourself deep into, spreading your thighs wide and resting them on the outside of her ass.

You gave her full tender cheeks another smack with both hands and brought your shaft in the middle of them, gently thrusting in between the warmth and softness of her flesh, sampling the appetizer before you were about to have the main course. With your slick cock in one hand you lined yourself up with the puckered hole waiting patiently for you, holding a hip with the other as you teased Johyun’s back entrance you were about to enter.

“Put it in my ass already, baby,” Johyun whined, sharing your impatience as your tip rubbed against the rim of her ass. Pushing carefully, you let out a light moan as you entered Johyun’s tight asshole with your tip, watching it slowly sink inside as you penetrated her more intimate area.

Johyun took a deep breath as her muscles relaxed, allowing you to push deeper into her ass with ease. This wasn’t the first time you had partaken in anal sex. Hell it wasn’t even the first time that week that you had entered her tighter hole. Johyun loved anal as much as you did thankfully, with an ass like hers that she was proud of it wasn’t surprising that she loved it being filled, wanting you to take her in her butt just as much as her other holes.

“You can go deeper, baby,” Johyun said, a set of words that you were always happy to hear as you filled her more inch by inch as her ass swallowed up more of your shaft. The tightness you felt squeezing your shaft as you pushed in deeper was like nothing else you’ve felt. Her ass was so much tighter than her pussy, which already was incredibly tight hugging your cock and refusing to let go. Each inch that entered Johyun’s body was clenched tight, fitting perfectly inside her until you had filled her up to the hilt.

You gave her a moment to adjust to your length, which wasn’t necessary as expected.

“F-fuck, baby you feel so good inside me. Fuck my ass, baby.”

You didn’t have to be told twice. You held onto her wide hips and began thrusting in and out of her incredibly tight ass, feeling the deep clench of your shaft with every movement. You didn’t bother with any type of build up, you knew she didn’t need it as you gave hard forceful thrusts into her ass, using the power in your hips as your cock stretched her tight little hole.

“How does that ass feel, baby?” Johyun asked.

“So good. You’re so fucking tight, baby,” you replied as you formed a rhythm, moving in and out of Johyun’s super tight asshole at a steady pace.

“Harder, baby. Pound my ass.”

You wanted nothing more as you held onto both of her delicious ass cheeks for leverage and upped your pace, pressing your fingers into the soft flesh as your hips smacked against her ass, causing the bed to squeak loudly with every motion.

“Oh fuck, just like that, baby. That cock feels so good in my ass.“

You were losing your mind at how good the pleasure felt. Your lubed cock slid in and out to the hilt with each thrust, the loud slap of flesh on flesh filled the room as you pounded into Johyun’s tight little hole. Her face was buried into the mattress as her hands formed tight fists, squeezing the bed sheets desperately and trying to find an outlet for the intense pleasure as you impaled her repeatedly.

“You’re so deep in my ass, don’t stop!” Johyun cried out, as you were giving her body the hardest thrusts possible. Her cries, moans, and gasps were every bit of encouragement you needed as you slammed into her ass, using every bit of force to make sure she felt every bit of your cock.

You loved being this rough with Johyun, and judging by the constant stream of drawn-out moans she loved it just as much, taking every thrust so well.

“Oh god, baby, I love when you fuck me like this. Keep fucking my ass, don’t stop until you cum in it!”

Well, you certainly didn’t want to disappoint her. You held onto her shoulders as you pounded into her tight gripping asshole, the bed shaking wildly underneath each harsh thrust in a way you weren’t sure it was going to hold.

Sweat began misting on your body, dripping down your forehead as you kept up the merciless pace. You were giving Johyun everything you had as she moaned lustfully with every thrust, taking every inch of your cock so well and not wanting you to let up.

“I’m so close, baby,” you moaned out as you continued pounding her ass roughly as possible, feeling the hot tightness of her hole as you used it for your pleasure, causing the flesh of her big ass to ripple as you pumped in and out of her.

“Cum inside me, baby. Fill my ass.”

“I fucking will,” you growled back, slamming into Johyun’s ass as hard as you could, losing your self control as you drilled into her hot tight hole and savored those final moments. It was so rough, so raw, so animalistic that you couldn’t help last that much longer.

It took just a handful of thrusts more before you reached your limits, throbbing inside Johyun as you sent spurts of thick hot cum deep into her impossibly tight ass, filling her up to the brim. The two of you moaned together as your shaft continued emptying into Johyun, draining your balls as her body milked you dry of every drop, making sure you didn’t leave a single drop outside.

You rested for several moments, attempting to catch your breath as you press your body against Johyun, kissing her neck several times just below her ear, sharing a chorus of heaving breathing and gasps.

“Baby...you came so much inside me,” Johyun said proudly as you kissed her shoulders and upper back. “It’s so warm…”

When you feel your breathing had normalized, you slowly slipped your shaft out of Johyun’s backside an inch at a time. You watched your generous load leaking out of Johyun’s gaping asshole and dripping down her thighs, a warm thick stream that flowed freely and spilled onto the sheets.

“You made me cum so much,” you replied, crashing besides her onto the mattress in an exhausted heap.

“Wanna go again?” Johyun teased, running a finger through her messy thighs to collect a sample of your freshly given semen before taking it into her mouth and sucking it clean. You were too exhausted to formulate any type of response, and Johyun took your silence as an answer as her sweaty body rested against yours.

“You really did a number on me, baby,” Johyun said, her massive breasts resting on your chest as she smiled sweetly at you.

You could only stare at Johyun’s beauty, trying to think of anything to say but finding words difficult in that moment. Sometimes it was better off this way. You didn’t care how long it took to work on your stamina, knowing that it meant countless hours of sex with Johyun was the best possible way to train.

[wizkiddx]

Blurb req- Tom and the reader on a private jet hungover? just pure fluff?

fluffy requests are well and truly open ( bcos I adored writing this ahah) and let me know what u think , I am deff not a writer so any feedback or tips would be v appreciated :))

summary: tomhollandxactress!reader - a wrap party followed by an early morning flight and a grumpy Harry, what could possibly go wrong?

warning: mentions of alcohol and sickness

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

The remorse. The regret. It only made the pounding in your head even worse. Why those two 1.5 litre bottle of Bacardi had been brought out was beyond you. Why the you six of you had then decided to empty said bottle was even more of a mystery. It wasn’t like any of you had needed it, you’d all been more than ‘merry’ prior to the cheap rum and coke. 

Hence the state of you, Tom and Harry as well as your manager Davey and Tom’s team of Rachel and Andrew. All having made very little effort with your appearance - joggers and hoodies all round, with you and Rachel also sporting sunglasses because you were simply smarter than the boys. Thankfully, this wasn’t a big trip that fans knew about, this was you and Tom moving location under cover  - the studios didnt want anybody to know that either of you made a feature in this film, so everything was under the cover of darkness. Which to be honest you were not complaining about. However, you were complaining about the fact the flight had been scheduled to leave at 7 am the night after your wrap party though.

The two of you had just wrapped your most recent and most ambitious movie to date - hence the massive celebrations last night for just surviving and getting it done. It had been the most intense 3 months of your life, there had been times you’d cry for hours on end, times you just wanted to quit fully knowing you’d never be hired again for leaving a multimillion dollar company in the lurch.But you all, somehow, had survived. So celebrations were in order of course but perhaps not as far as you all managed last night?

Your whole convey appeared to have travelled to the airfield in absolute silence, no one particularly fancied hearing anyone else’s voice- which to be honest seemed quite fair. You’d ridden in a car with Tom and Harry, with you resting your head on Tom’s broad shoulder - which had obviously made Harry gag, rolling his eyes. Bless Harry, really he was the only reason you and Tom had got together, after getting sick of the mutual pining he’d been forced to live with during the previous 2 projects you’d worked on together. But now, having had to put up with the two of you being so ridiculously loved up for the past 3 months - understandably a bit of distance from you and his brother was overdue. 

One of the flight attendants busied themselves loading your luggage, whilst the pilot asked you and Tom for a photo. Of course, you weren’t going to say no however you did have to cringe at how rough you both looked. His teenage daughter certainly would be less excited to see that her Dad hadn’t met Tom Holland and Y/n Y/l/n. Instead he’d met the zombified, undead and rougher frauds. Still you smiled as much as you could, wincing when you removed the glasses and the early morning sun pierced your restricted pupils. God it wasn’t your day. 

The guy didn’t seem to mind though, excitedly hurrying off onto the plane to settle in the rest of you - leaving just you and Tom outside on the tarmac. 

“Poor guy, we look like shit.” You murmured while taking a step closer to lean slightly into his side. 

“Speak for yourself love.’Tom snickered into the top of your head, after pulling you completely into his chest. This wasn’t normally allowed, your relationship still wasn’t public and both of you intended on keeping it private for as long as possible. But you were in an otherwise empty field in the middle of nowhere (somewhere in Georgia) before 8 am. It was actually quite nice to feel your boyfriends arms round you in the outside world, especially when you felt this shit. After a few moments you pulled away, arching back at Tom’s pouty face as you motioned it was time to get on the plane. 

“’S too late you know.” Your brows furrowed at his half formed sentence, facial expression only demanding him to explain more. “They all have already taken the good seats… Harry basically sprinted on so he can hog the bed thing.” In response it was your turn to pout, groaning as you fell back into his chest again. Yes, this was a complete first world issue, a private jet paid completely by your bosses was not something a lot would moan about. Truly you were grateful for everything you had in life, but with the worst hangover of your life when the opportunity of lying down for 6 hours instead of being stuck in a chair had manifested itself… well of course you felt robbed by your almost brother Harry. 

Chuckling at your reaction, he gave you an extra squeeze before leading the both of you up the stairs to the cabin. Sure enough Harry had completely and totally claimed the longer couch at the far end of the plane, lying on his stomach with his face hidden in the crook of his elbow. Rolling your eyes at the predictable situation, you didn’t miss Davey laughing at your sorry state - nmaking you throw daggers at him in your eyes. 

Davey was your second father, the relationship between the two of you far transcended any professional working one. Which is why the two of you acting like this was very much a norm and not rude at all. He had also got the next best seat in the corner with the most leg room which he clearly loved to show off. 

Unsurprisingly then you and Tom ended up squashed into the corner with your legs crumpled up together in the small space floor space. The brunette opposite you didn’t seem to mind so much but that was because he had an adaptational advantage. He could sleep anywhere and everywhere , whenever he wanted. On set if he was tired? Just take a ten minute power nap on the floor. Bored of a long car journey? Just conk out against the window. It absolutely infuriated you, as no matter how hard and how exhausted you were - it was rare you could get any further than a light doze. Even before the two go you got together, having a best mate that could skip all the boring bits and was immune to jet lag… you can see how that makes you want to punch him square in the face.

After a short safety talk from the pilot and flight attendant, the plane whirred into life and you were up in the air. Although in your current state, it would be reasonable to assume the beauty of flying had somewhat rubbed off - you were certain it never would. No matter how many flights you took across country ,and in fact continents, for work; you’d never get sick of watching the view below you. It was perfect and breathtaking and took your mind off the pounding in the back of your head for the first 20 minutes.

Until the need for sleep took over as either you need to be unconcious or you were going to vomit - which you really didn’t want to do at 40,000 feet in a tin box. Trying to rearrange your limbs to get comfier you accidentally knocked Tom’s leg rather forcefully, causing him to jump half out his seat, heavy eyes blinking quickly as he tried to get his baring as to what was attacking him - quickly answered by your guilty look. 

“You okay love?” His voice was slurred, sounding almost sleep drunk - but perhaps was just actually still a little drunk. You’d only headed to bead last night at 4 am and had to be up at 6 - which isnt very long for your poor kidneys to try and process the stupid amount of alcohol you’d both  happily been chugging the night before.

“Feel shitty and cant sleep.” You weren’t in the mood to white lie - honestly some sympathy from your beautiful boyfriend seemed like a dream at the moment. Tom’s idea was better though.

“C’mere then.” His arms outstretched, you immediately jumped into his lap - the two of you shifting about to get comfortable till you were sat side on to him, your bum and back leaning against the arm rest of the chair with your legs going over his thighs and pressing against the wall of the plane. Pulling you closer to his chest, Tom took a deep breath as he pressed his chin against the crown of your head; your face now nested into his chest. 

Nothing needed to be said as the two of you melted into each others bodies, the slow and deepening breathing enough to prove to each other you were both incredibly contented in that moment. More than that you felt safe- you’d admitted to Tom some weeks ago that you had never ever slept better than when he was beside you. Yeh it was cringey but sometimes that’s allowed right? 

… well not to Harry. Because as the plane was about to begin it’s descent, the pilot had tasked Harry (who had slept off the worst of the hangover and had spent the last 30 minutes of the flight scoffing at how adorable the two of you looked fast asleep together) - even after Rach had scalded him and had taken a photo of the two of you on her phone. 

Causing Harry to ,ever subtly, wake the two of you up by throwing his half empty water bottle over your heads. 

Safe to say, Harry very nearly didn’t leave that jet alive.

[hotchseyebrows]

that's my heart right there

a derek morgan x penelope garcia fic

a/n: hi beloveds :) today i present this happy and soft morcia fic that i wrote in practically one go last night. who needs wips when you can just ignore them all blatantly for new works? thank you as always to @blkantigone for providing another set of eyes, love you lots! love you all too, thank you for reading!

rating/warnings: teens and up, allusions to sex but none on screen, mostly just gooey marshmallowly fluff!

read it on ao3 here!

The sunlight surrounds her in a soft glow. She smiles at him and something inside of him breaks open.

“Let’s get a drink.” It’s not an unusual request for them, but it feels bigger this time. “If you want to.”

Her smile grows. “Yes please.”

-

A post Exit Wounds fic where Kevin doesn't exist and Clooney the dog is much more important to the narrative. They're in love and finally doing something about it.

word count: 2311

“I kinda love you, Derek Morgan.”

“I kinda love you, Penelope Garcia.”

He thinks about it the whole plane ride back from Alaska. When they board, she gently tugs him to the big couch before sitting directly next to him. He drops his arm around her shoulders instinctually, smiling as she hums and pulls out her knitting. She smells like honey and rain (the respective scents of her shampoo and conditioner and her body wash) and has picked a warm color gradient for her outfit and makeup today. She babbles about her knitting group’s latest gossip for a while as he relaxes into her side.

She seems like her normal relaxed and bubbly self, but he can feel the tension in her shoulders. Their early conversation was comforting, but her worries are still weighing on her. But he doesn’t want to bring it up in front of everyone, so he just kisses her temple and tugs her closer. “So wait baby girl, is Jared going to ask out Francisco or not?”

“I don’t know! I asked him about it before we left and he dodged giving me a straight answer. I think he’s worried about their friendship, but it’s SO obvious that Francisco is wild about him. They’re already best friends, so- he’s just being silly. I told him that.”

The conversation moves on, but Penelope’s friends join the merry-go-round of thoughts in his head for the rest of the flight. They stay close for the remaining 8 hours, usually with some form of physical contact even as they adjust positions over the long trip home. Derek focuses on making her laugh as much as possible and trying to make her blush all at once.

When they land at home after almost 9 hours on the jet, the sun is setting. The team is obviously tired, but in relatively good spirits as they exit the plane. Derek is last, just behind Penelope. The sky is full of the same colors on Penelope’s clothes today, he realizes as they walk across the airfield. “It’s good to be back,” she says, pulling her shawl tight. “I miss you when you go but it’s… easier on me in some ways not to be there.”

It makes him pause, slowing to a stop. Penelope walks further ahead but notices he’s not there and stops herself. She looks over her shoulder at him, waiting. The sunlight surrounds her in a soft glow. She smiles at him and something inside of him breaks open.

“Let’s get a drink.” It’s not an unusual request for them, but it feels bigger this time. “If you want to.”

Her smile grows. “Yes please.”

-

They don’t dance. This part is unusual. Instead it’s 4 drinks in each at a quiet bar close to Derek’s apartment, and they are glued to each other’s side on the same side of a table in a corner booth. This place doesn’t even have a dance floor. 

She leans against his side, nosing at his neck. “You smell good,” she mumbles. He wraps an arm around her, feeling shaky like a ship in a storm.

“Baby girl, is this-” He pauses, not sure what the question should be. Not sure of the answer she’ll give. Penelope picks her head up to look at him, cheeks flushed. Derek swallows. “Am I imagining things, or…” 

“You’re not imagining things.” She leans up and kisses the corner of his mouth. “I feel it too.” He grins and pulls her in for a proper kiss. They fall into it easily, as if it isn’t the first time. The first time it really means what it’s meant to. It feels like they’ve been together for years- and in some ways, that’s not untrue.

-

He brings her home. It’s late, and they’ve had a long case and now a long night, so he knows she’s tired. Still, she stops to drop to her knees to hug Clooney when he comes barreling out of Derek’s bedroom at the sound of them entering the apartment.

“Oh, hello sweetie, hi there, yes, I know, it’s so exciting when Daddy comes home, but it’s even more exciting when he brings me to visit, I know-” Clooney agrees with a quiet woof- “see, Derek, Clooney said I’m his favorite.”

Derek smiles at the way his best girl gets along with his big goof of a dog. “He’s got good taste.” He doesn’t mean the words to come out so weighted, but she looks up at him with such a reverent look on her face that he doesn’t care.

She stands up and drags him through his apartment, Clooney hot on their heels. They get ready for bed at the same time as if they’ve done this domestic routine every night for ages. She won’t stop looking at him like she loves him. Like she cherishes him. He believes her.

She pulls him into his bed, arranging their bodies close together. They don’t do anything more than kiss with their arms wrapped around each other. She falls asleep first with her head on his chest. It makes him feel warm. They shared a bed in Alaska too, and now he’s thinking about not wanting the streak to end. He pulls her closer for the moment, the places where her soft skin is touching his own shooting little bolts of lightning through him as he falls asleep too.

-

Penelope makes breakfast. He takes Clooney on a run, slipping out of bed when she’s still asleep and kissing her forehead before he goes. When he comes back, she’s in his robe, standing over the stove. He’s sweaty and hot, but she yanks him into a kiss anyway. After the eggs burn a little, he pulls away and takes a quick shower. She’s waiting at the table, coffee made and Clooney napping at her feet. The food is delicious, but sitting here with her like this is better. She tastes like coffee when he kisses her over the table.

Someone surely would have noticed Penelope in the same outfit again today, but over the years so much of her clothing has ended up hanging in Derek’s closet next to his own that she’s able to pick out a full outfit for the day. Today her dress is frilly and bright green. He picks out a darker green shirt to match- just because he can.

-

They drop into this new routine easily. Their flirtatious phone calls now have this added layer of promise and intent, even if they haven’t made good on it yet. She’s always been the primary person to stop in and take care of Clooney while Derek’s on cases, but now he comes home and she’s still there. His two best loves, sitting on his couch. He gets home after a case with hidden cameras and is feeling particularly exposed over it all. But there she is, smiling up at him, because she missed him. Because she wanted to see him.

“Hi there,” she says. He crosses the room and lifts her off the couch, holding her against him. She follows his lead with ease, trusting him implicitly. His arms wrap around her waist. He can literally feel her breathing like this, and he’s never been so grateful that she’s alive. “Hi,” she whispers again.

“Hi baby.” He nuzzles the side of her head, breathing in the soft honey scent of her hair. 

She doesn’t ask what’s got him all worked up. She just wraps her arms around his neck and lets him hold her. After a minute or two of just swaying in place, he leans in and presses their lips together. A gentle kiss at first, but quickly his desire for closeness, to feel her, bleeds into that too. He lifts her legs off the ground and puts them around his waist. Penelope makes a noise close to a whine in the back of her throat, pushing closer. He carries her to his room, kissing her fiercely all the while.

-

Afterwards, she’s lying on top of him with her head on his chest. Derek runs his fingers through her hair, gently untangling anything he comes across. “I’m glad you’re home,” she says, slightly muffled by her mouth’s position against his skin.

It sounds like she means that this is their home. Or that she is his home. 

“Me too.” He pulls her up for another slow kiss. She climbs up on top of him, straddling his hips. Her hands cup his cheeks before running down his chest. He keeps the kiss slow, and she kisses back with ease. Like they’re in love.

-

Derek is in the break room, making another cup of coffee. Emily slides next to him, a coffee stirrer in her teeth. “You seem happy.”

Derek looks at her out of the corner of his eye. “It’s a nice day, Prentiss.” Emily deliberately looks at where the rain outside is hitting the window. Derek doesn’t back down.

“Whoever you’ve been dating must be a hell of someone. That’s good.”

Derek can’t help but smile. She really is.

“But I want more information sooner than later, Morgan.”

He hums, and picks up Penelope’s coffee cup from the rack. He takes his time filling it before looking at Emily pointedly. 

She pauses and then grins. “I fucking knew it. I knew it!” Derek smiles back. “You better take care of her, I swear to God-”

“I will. I am.”

She softens. “She better take care of you too.”

He picks up both mugs. “She does.”

-

He’s never felt like this in a relationship before. Being with Penelope is easy. It’s just the same as it was, but better and more. She stops by his office a little more, and he swings by the batcave more often than he needs to, but no one notices. It’s just part of the normal Morgan-Garcia antics everyone expects. 

She does take full advantage of this and is definitely getting kissed more often than anyone else at Quantico during the day, but Derek doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind at all.

-

They’re sitting on a park bench at the edge of the dog park and watching Clooney run himself ragged through the grass. She puts her head on his shoulder. “Francisco asked Jared out a few days ago.”

“I thought you said Jared was the one who was thinking about asking out Francisco.”

“Francisco got tired of waiting.”

He nods. “I know the feeling,” he says before kissing the top of her head.

-

After they find Ellie’s mom, Derek can’t shake this weird mixture of happy and sad in the middle of his chest. Penelope comes over unprompted with a plate of cookies and a stack of dvds. They lay on the couch, her holding him and Clooney with his head on Derek’s thigh. They don’t talk about it then, but they will later. For now she traces a pattern on his side as Nicolas Cage and Holly Hunter kidnap a baby. Clooney starts snoring. Penelope kisses Derek’s shoulder, arms holding him tight.

-

They show up together to a little party at Rossi’s. Emily sees them holding hands and grins. No one else notices that, but they do notice when Penelope pulls Derek down into a kiss after he gets her another drink.

“Thank you, mon amour. You’re my hero.”

He laughs. “Anything for you baby girl.” He taps the tip of her nose in punctuation. She pulls him in for another short kiss in response.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” says Rossi.

Emily is grinning widely. Spencer and JJ have matching excited and pleased looks. Hotch has this knowing look on his face. Derek raises an eyebrow at him specifically. Hotch just looks back with the softest smile on his face. He should have known Hotch would have noticed.

“Hold on, does that mean what I think it does or is this something you two are just doing now?” Spencer asks.

Derek looks down at Penelope. “Yes.”

The team laughs. “Yes to which part?”

“Yes,” Penelope says.

Spencer scrunches his nose at her. She giggles. “Yes, as in, it means what you think it does, pretty boy.”

Spencer claps his hands together, swinging them back and forth a little. “Good! Finally. I’m glad we don’t have to wait anymore.” 

“Me too,” Penelope says to the group, but she’s only looking at Derek. He leans in and kisses her again in agreement. 

-

Derek takes Clooney out when they get home to let him do his business before bed. When he comes back inside, Penelope is already in bed wearing one of his shirts and flipping through a knitting magazine. He strips down to his boxers and climbs into bed next to her, laying on his back and putting his face on her thigh.

“I think they took that well,” she says.

Derek rubs his face into her skin. He hums, nodding a little. 

“When did Emily find out?”

“Find out that it’s you I’m seeing? Or that it was you I was too afraid to do anything about?”

She chuckles. “How about both, then.”

“She cornered me in the break room a few weeks after Alaska. And I never officially told her that I was nuts about you, so I think a safe bet would be her first day on the team.” Penelope drops the magazine and climbs into his lap.

“That long?” He knows what she means specifically.

“Even longer.” She runs a thumb along his jawline and looks down at him with such adoration in her eyes he thinks he might burst.

“Me too,” she whispers, like it’s a secret. He pulls her down into a kiss.

“I kinda love you, Penelope Garcia,” he mumbles against her lips.

“I kinda love you, Derek Morgan,” she says back without hesitation. He kisses her again, 'cause that’s the best thing he’s heard all day.