#ironically i never really pictured him as a leopard print kind of guy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aboysbestfriendishismum · 7 years ago

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Chapter 46 - Ariadne, the bet and the bathtub

In the previous chapter: Eddie and Jeff are watching a Chicago Bulls game when they get a call from Angie. Jeff doesn't understand a couple of her jokes about the infamous night he and the guys supposedly ditched her and Eddie, he suspects Eddie's got something to do with it and and has the singer tell him everything. He insists Eddie takes action and tells him to be more explicit. Eddie later leaves and, without telling Jeff, goes to Angie's place to help her with a spider in her bathroom, that's the reason she called in the first place. Meg's not at their apartment, she's out with Melanie, who confesses she tried to get back with Mike but he said no as he did with Meg and gave basically the same motivation. Meg goes back home late at night and checking out on her friend she sees her and Eddie in bed together. In the morning, Eddie leaves before Meg can meet him, she questions Angie and finds out they simply fell asleep watching tv and didn't do anything. They discuss the special friendship between Angie and Eddie and Meg suddenly has an epiphany: Eddie's secret crush is not a fake non-existing person, but it's actually Angie. She tries to convince Angie, but she doesn't believe it. Eddie dreams about kissing Angie before the show at the Off Ramp. After the concert the guys go out all together, but in the end it's just Angie and Eddie. He convinces her to go up the Space Needle, where he's planning to reveal his feelings and kiss her. Anyway, once they're on top, Eddie's fascinated by the view and the height and is intrigued by some lightbulbs and wants to climb outside the safety barrier to take one as a gift for Angie. She's terrified and discourages him. In the end Eddie doesn't tell her anything about his feelings and the two of them say goodbye, but hearing a Springsteen song as he drives back home gives him an idea...

“COME IN!” Meg's yells us to enter after we ring the doorbell of the girls' apartment. Grace and I exchange a perplexed look and a shrug before opening the door.

“Here we are!” I exclaim as I take off my coat while Grace closes the door behind our back.

“Help me, PLEASE” Angie asks in a loud but resigned voice, as she wasn't really expecting any real help from us.

“Hi girls! But where are you?” my friend asks after another exchange of questioning looks with me.

“Angie, don't move and stop complaining. Come here, we're in the living room!” that's where we are already instinctively going and we are met by a weird scene: Angie's laying down on the rug near the couch, looking up at the ceiling, or at Meg, who's towering over her, with one foot on the floor and the other one on the sofa, holding a pencil and a sketch pad in her hands.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I ask while Grace is doubled over laughing.

“Laura, please, call the cops, your friend here got crazy, she's been torturing me for half an hour” Angie turns towards me with pleading eyes, but soon after her roommate grabs her chin and forces her to look back up.

“If you stood still and quiet, we'd be done by now”

“Are you portraying her?” Grace prances around the two girls and from behind Meg looks first at the sketch book and then at the victim on the floor with an amused grin.

“More or less, I'm using her as a model”

“And this should be enough evidence that she's completely lost her mind”

“I'm working on a little pictorial study about how to portray the face of a woman laying down, I need it for a project of mine” Meg explains ignoring her remark.

“What project? I'm curious!” I ask her as I walk up to them too, from the opposite side, and steal a glance of her work as I lean on the back of the couch.

“I wanna paint a picture to put in the hallway, no I wanna paint three actually: a triptych!”

“Because one fuck face was not enough, let's make three” Angie grumbles.

“And what's the subject?”

“You, who are entering this place, lose all hope! That's why I'd rather put it outside the door instead of the hallway, to keep nuisance people away, what do you think Meg?”

“The subject is the myth of Ariadne”

“Ariadne? The one with the thread?” I ask curious.

“Exactly!” Meg confirms as she's rubbing out part of the outline of the lips.

“Exactly, Ariadne, the loser. And that partially excuses the choice of me as a model”

“Would you shut up? It's taking me an hour just to draw the mouth”

“Anyway, I wouldn't call her a loser, in the end she marries Dionysus” Grace points out alternatively looking at Angie on the floor and the sketch.

“Dionysus is hot”

“Dionysus is an alcoholic showoff dressed in leopard print with delusions of grandeur who's born from a thigh and spends his days in the forest having orgies with his groupies” Angie retorts with an extremely serious face.

“Hahaha pretty accurate description” I giggle just like the other girls.

“But I suppose that for the mentality of that period, getting married with someone like that was much more desirable than ending a spinster, ruined forever by that fucker called Theseus”

“And since my Ariadne apparently hates men, she'll be the only character in my project. Ariadne and Dionysus were portraied dozens of times in art history, the same goes for Ariadne and Theseus. There are far less paintings portraing Ariadne alone in comparison”

“And considering the position of the poor model, I assume you wanna portray the moment she wakes up in Naxos beach” I try to guess as I leave the couch to get closer to the radiator but I find it quite lukewarm. Meg warned me. Anyway, not repairing the heating system during this fucking cold winter is almost criminal.

“You're right, and in three different moments: as soon as she opens her eyes, when she looks for Theseus next to her and when she realizes she was left alone. You know, darling, you were abandoned! Can you please take that bitch look off your face for a minute and pretend to be desperate?”

“Do you really think it's hard for me to look desperate? I thought you knew me”

“So try and put some effort in it, come on! You betrayed your father and your people for this guy, you helped him killing your Minotaur half-brother because he was too stupid to come up with his own plan, you ran away with him and put out for a copious amount of sex, you fell asleep on the beach while you were talking about names for your future children, selling one of the ships to buy a house with a garden and a station wagon, you just woke up and found out the love of your life left with his gang without telling a word, abandoning you on an island you don't know because before that you had never even left your yard. Rage, agony, pain, shame, revenge, wanting to die: try to focus and give me all of that with one look”

“Ok...” I see Angie through Meg's legs, at first she looks down on her pink robe's sleeve and rolls it up, then lies back down and gives the artist what I think is a very credible sad look.

“Perfect! Just stay still like this” Meg exclaims before starting drawing like crazy on the sketch book.

“I told you I was good at being a loser”

“STAY STILL AND SHUT UP! I'M GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU MOVE”

“Ok ok, but don't shout”

“You're great Angie, you know could do it as a job” Grace suggests as she sits on the other couch.

“No... I don't think so” the model tentatively answers after a while, in a low voice, not a trace of her usual sarcasm.

“Yes, you could! You could make a few dollars by posing for the art students, a friend of mine does it”

“Good for her”

“You don't earn a lot, but surely it's not like working your ass off in a restaurant. I can give you her number if you want”

“NO!” Angie loudly retorts and startles the three of us, then goes on in a calmer voice “I'm not interested, Grace, thank you. Aren't we done yet, Meg?”

“I'm almost there, just relax. In exchange of this favor you're making me, I promise I'm gonna wash the dishes for a month, or two... Fuck, you're perfect!”

“And how is this supposed to keep me calm?” she asks, now ironic as always.

“DON'T MOVE!”

Meg quickly finishes her sketches, realizing she might have taken too much advantage of her friend's patience, and Angie can finally stand back up and grab the phone, asking us what kind of pizza we want before we go put on our pajamas. Two movies and many slices of pizza later, we're still here lounging in the living room between the two sofas.

“Do you want whipped cream, Angie?” Meg asks her friend and I don't know what she could put on her ice cream if she said yes, since she basically emptied the whole can on my bowl of chocolate ice cream.

“Oh my god, no, are you crazy? Just give it to me like that” she stretches out towards her friend and practically pries the ice cream out of Meg's hands.

“Bummer. And you? Do you want a bit of each flavor or...?” she turns to Grace, whose hand is resting over her stomach.

“No, thank you, Meg, no more ice cream for me, I couldn't make it”

“Bummer number two. Whatever, there's more for me!” she shrugs and then happily fills a big bowl with chocolate, strawberry, hazelnut and pistachio ice cream.

Meg has just covered it in a thick cloud of whipped cream and grabbed the spoon when the phone rings.

“Umph, who's it now?” I'm the closest one to the phone, so I take it but I don't answer it and just give it to Angie when I hear what they say.

“It must be the landlord asking for the rent” Angie says with a disgusted face.

“We're not fucking paying! Nothing works in this shitty apartment, every day there's a new problem, now it's the heating system. We won't pay until they repair it”

“He says it doesn't depend on him, it's a problem of the whole building” Angie explains and passes the phone to her fiercer friend.

“I don't give a fuck, he can take action and have this fucking problem solved. Hello? Heeeey, hi Jeff, it's so good to hear you! Haha no, really, I'm not fucking around. I've never been happier to hear your voice. Oh fuck you, we didn't smoke. It's that I thought it was the landlord. Yes. Ok, hold on, I'll put it on speakerphone. Say hi to Jeff” Meg jokes with my boyfriend on the phone and as soon as we all say hi we get a jumble of the loudest freakiest inhuman screams as a reply, which seems to come straight from one of Angie's movies that luckily we didn't watch tonight.

“Are you stupid?” I ask after a moment of confusion.

“Why? We just said hi” Jeff innocently answers.

“Thank god. What if you also added what's up?” Grace adds, giving way to the inevitable series of what's ups howled through the receiver.

“The tour is doing you no good, guys. You left three days ago and you're already like this?” I remark leaning slightly towards the coffee table Meg has placed the phone on.

“Stop being such goody-two-shoes, girls, I bet you're doing worse at your slumber party” Mikey retorts, making his band mates laugh.

“It's not a slumber party!” Meg angrily remarks.

“Oh isn't it?” asks Stone's voice.

“No!” we all yell along “It's a night at home with friends” Grace adds.

“Ah... you're not in your pajamas then?” he questions again.

“Yes, so what? It doesn't mean anything” I answer.

“And you're not having junk food, are you?” Dave chimes in for the first time.

“We're eating healthy ice cream with whipped cream” Meg's the one who talks this time, right as she's pouring Smarties on her ice cream bowl.

“And you didn't watch either St. Elmo's fire or Mystic Pizza, right?” Gossard goes on and we all look at each other weirded out. How the fuck does he know?

“No no!” Angie's our spokeperson now and she's not nearly convincing.

“Are you sure?” Stone insists.

“Oh well, fuck, I didn't choose those anyway! I picked Romancing the stone!” our friends confesses and betrays us “No pun intended here”

“And we're about to watch that too now! Anyway, what if we're having a slumber party? What's wrong with it? Why do you care? We're reappropriating our female-space of experience sharing, strengthening our relationships” Meg goes on between spoons of ice cream.

“That means you're talking shit about us” Stone prompts more laughter from his idiot friends.

“You might find it strange, but you're not the center of our thoughts, we've got more interesting things to talk about” Grace says and this time all the screams coming from the other side of the line are to make fun of Stoney.

“Ha, that was a great comeback” Mike snickers.

“Shut up”

“Anyway, what about you? What are you doing? Where are you?” Grace inquires holding back her laughter.

“I've suddenly become interesting, huh?” Stone probably smirks.

“We're in a rather questionable motel somewhere in Los Angeles” Dave gives us really vague information.

“We're in the room of Jeff and Eddie, who hasn't talked yet but is here. Say something, come on” Jeff reveals the singer's presence.

“Ehm hi girls”

“HI EDDIE!” we scream as a choir and are then imitated by the guys with high-pitched voices.

“You're all together then?” Angie asks.

“Yep, we're making a mess, strangely they haven't thrown us out yet” Eddie babbles a little.

“And are you eating junk food?” she goes on with a devilish grin.

“Hahaha no, well, yeah, also...”

“I think they're most likely drinking” Meg remarks.

“And smoking” Grace adds.

“Are you in your pajamas?” I add and we all burst out laughing.

“Baby, you know I'd rather have that kind of phone calls when we're alone” the adorable asshole replies.

“Anyway we're about to go out, we'll not spend the night pretending to be twelve years old” Stone keeps on making fun of us.

“Also because that's something you normally do” Grace points out.

“Why? Do they pretend?” the final blow is Angie's.

“Those were like... the greatest comebacks in the history of burns” Eddie laughs.

“See? We call them to do something nice and that's how they pay us back” McCready comments stiffling a laugh himself.

“Oh please, you probably called because you knew we were all here together so you could avoid making a couple of phone calls more and spare some money”

“Wow, she saw through the whole thing” Krusen confirms and I can almost see him, shaking his head as he talks to his band mates.

“I've always told you my girlfriend is a genius” Jeff tries to butter me up since he's now been caught.

“And we'd believe it, except she got with you, so... I don't know” Stone starts the usual little fight with Jeff.

“Fuck you, Gossard, you're getting a bit repetitive”

“Sorry man, it's just that each time I think about it, I'm always surprised as the first one”

“I'm surprised Grace can stand you, it must be because it's a new thing. Get away Gracie, run, you're still on time!”

“Wow, your jokes are pretty original, have you ever considered auditioning for Saturday Night Live?”

“Would you please stop? Did you call to talk to us or to let us hear you fighting?” Meg abruptly interrupts them.

“None of the two. Now that I think about it, why the hell did we even call them?” Stone wonders with a concerned voice.

“When are you playing then?” Grace looks at the phone with stars in her eyes. We lost her.

“The day after tomorrow, at Florentine Gardens” he explains.

“What a cute name, it must be a really cool place!”

“Actually no, it's got nothing to do with Florence, at least I don't think so, and there's no garden, it's a really average club, looks like a warehouse from the outside”

“Thank you for ruining it for us Mikey” I joke at the guitarist.

“They'll never see it, we could have made up something nicer, man” Jeff snorts.

“I'm sorry, I cannot lie”

“Oh well, now it's time to say goodbye, girls” Stone announces he's ending the conversation as we hear some kind of commotion in the background.

“Because of telephone charges?” Angie asks.

“Also. But most of all because Starr has just knocked on the door”

“In a bathrobe and cowboy boots” Jeff points out.

“And sunglasses” adds Eddie.

“And this means it's time to go out” Stone concludes.

“Uhm, wow, you're really trying to make us jealous... It's a pity we can't go out with you tonight, it must be... fun... yeah” Angie sarcastically remarks.

“Hey, you're offending me!” the voice of Alice in chains bassplayer whines in the distance “And it's a really nice bathrobe, you know”

“Hahaha we trust you, Mike” Meg says as she finishes her ice cream.

“And we don't wanna steal any more of your time in the share circle of lost sisterhood” Stone adds and from the noise I think he's just taken the phone.

“Bye Stone, bye guys, take care” I tell them, and the other girls do the same, and get the well known incoherent screaming as an answer.

Since this is not a slumber party and we're not in junior school anymore, two hours and another movie later we're here in the living room, playing our version of Truth or Dare, which basically it's only Truth, since sometime after twelve Dares start to become less funny, also because in the end you already did all that shit. Here's why Meg produces a deck of cards, we all pick one in turns and the one who's got the highest card asks a question the other three have to answer honestly.

“So, have you ever stolen anything?” I ask as I toss the Queen of spades back on the coffee table.

“Sure, eyeliner, nail polish, lipsticks... Who didn't do it? But I've never been caught” Meg admits.

“I never did, but when I worked at the electricity company help desk I took some office supplies after I knew they were firing me” Grace replies.

“Some?” asks a curious Angie.

“A highlighter, two permanent markers, a gold posca paint marker and a couple of stamps”

“A gold paint marker in an electricity company? What for?” I ask puzzled.

“Exactly! That's what I thought too, that's why I took it. I needed it more than them. What about you, Angie?”

“Uhm... I don't know, I think I've never stolen anything” Angie shakes her head and almost looks embarrassed for not being a thief.

“Come on, I can't believe it! Nothing really?” Grace asks and Angie's face looks like she's really digging hard in vain into her memories searching for a flaw.

“No, I mean, I don't think so, I don't remember. And if I had, I'm sure I'd remember... like I'd be still anxious about it today. I'm too paranoid to steal. Once I was in a cafe, in Bologna in Italy, with my cousin Sandra and some friends of hers and at some point they told me something like 'Be ready, when we say Three stand up and run', her boyfriend counted to three and they suddenly stood all up and ran away without paying, and I followed them. Well, after a couple of minutes I stopped, walked back there and paid the bill because guilt was killing me” she confesses and we all go aaaaaaaaaaw.

“And what did you say when you got back? Weren't you embarrassed?” Meg asks and it looks like she didn't know this story.

“I was so uncomfortable, but guilt was bigger than shame. I told him my friends pranked me and he pretended to buy it”

“Wow, such integrity, you almost moved me to tears! Ok, let's play one more” Meg fake cries as she takes our four cards and puts them back into the deck, then shuffles. She's the winner this time as she picked the King of diamonds.

“Come on, Meg, shoot!” Grace encourages her as she puts her blanket in place over her shoulders, something I do too instinctively.

“Oh it's my turn, finally, so we'll stop with this schoolgirl questions. Ok, so, of all our friends, who do you think is the hottest guy?” she asks rubbing her hands.

“And this is not supposed to be a schoolgirl question? This one comes straight from eighth grade” Angie snickers.

“Shut up and think about the answer. So, what do you say, Laura?”

“Jeff of course”

“Boyfriends don't count”

“Jeff is still the hottest, I thought he was way before he became my boyfriend”

“Umph ok. And apart from Jeff? Who's the second hottest one?” Meg insists as she's not satisfied with my reply.

“Mmm... I don't know... Jerry. Yeah, I'd say Jer Jer” I confirm and I can help noticing a small grimace by Angie when I say his name. He used to be all over her all the time, now they totally ignore each other, something must have happened between those two and I have an idea...

“Jerry's sexy” Grace nods and gives Angie a sidelook.

“Yeah, he's cute, I mean, not bad. So I guess that's your answer too” Meg cuts it short and she probably knows much more than us about Angie and Jerry.

“Uh no, Stone's the hottest”

“I've just said boyfriends don't count” Meg says and rolls her eyes.

“Stone's not my boyfriend, we've just started dating”

“But you're a thing”

“Yeah but...”

“He doesn't count then. Give us another name”

“Eddie,” she says after a long while “Eddie's really handsome”

“He's got amazing eyes” I add.

“Yes, of course Laura, eyes are surely the first thing you noticed!” Meg jokes and throws her card at me.

“I did, why? The face is the first thing I look at in a guy” I defend myself throwing the card back at her.

“And Eddie's got some really delicate features” Grace adds to this addressing Angie, who's keeping her mouth shut and we all surely notice that.

“And you Angie? Who's the hottest guy for you?”

“Chris” she says without even letting Meg finish her sentence.

“Chris?” her roommate asks in disbelief.

“Chris Cornell”

“Really?” Grace looks positively more confused than Meg.

“Yes, why? He's... he's really good looking, isn't he ok?” Angie looks at us as if we were idiots.

“No, sure, he's ok, of course he is! Chris is hot, but...” I look at the two girls searching for support in this.

“But what? He's tall, has a nice body, a pretty face and lustrous hair I envy a lot”

“Yes, no, actually, he's really hot. It's just... well... I think Laura meant that... we were expecting, you know, a different answer” Grace tries to explain, still looking at me and Meg alternatively.

“What do you mean? Do you think I don't like Chris? That I have something against him? Ok, sometimes I say I hate him because he calls me sweetie and has a really bad sense of humor, but it's just a joke” Angie still doesn't understands or pretends not to.

“No, sweetie, they mean they were expecting you to mention another person in particular, am I wrong?” Meg tries to make her understand but I think we need to be more explicit.

“Exactly” I nod.

“You're not wrong” says Grace.

“What did you tell them?” it's like a lightbulb lit up in Angie's mind, she turns towards her friend and growls at her.

“Me?! I didn't say anything, dear” Meg holds her hands up to defend herself, then puts them back under the blanket.

“Why? What did she have to tell us?” Grace leans on the armrest of the couch towards Angie.

“Nothing...”

“Look, I don't need to say anything really, wanna bet? So, when I say three...”

“We stand up and run?” Angie jokes, maybe trying to distract her friend.

“Hahaha no. When I say three, Grace and Laura will say the name they had in mind, and maybe you'll understand I'm not making things up”

“But-”

“One, two, THREE!”

“Eddie” “Vedder!” Grace and I say along and Angie throws her head back, while Meg gloats.

“Yesss! I won! And now please explain to this young woman why you thought about Mr California”

“Yeah, why would I say his name?” Angie says and looks nervous “And Grace had already mentioned him anyway”

“What do you mean, you could as well say the same name more than once” I pointlessly explain the rules of our game.

“I thought about him because, well, I thought that...”

“That?”

“Well, it looked... it looks like, well, you seem to like him... a little. Or not?”

“And why would you think that??” Angie reacts as if Meg had called her a car thief.

“Mmh well, you're often together”

“And there's some kind of chemistry between you and him, I mean, you understand each other without words sometimes” I add.

“And he calls you princess and sometimes you talk in your own secret code and make jokes nobody understands but you two” Grace goes on illustrating all the evidence with me.

“And he talks about you very often or mentions you and makes references to you even if he's discussing something else entirely”

“And it's also the way you look at each other”

“Jesus Christ, we don't look at each other in any way, we're just friends. And you're high on expired drugs apparently” Angie stands up from the couch, collects the cards from the coffee table and starts shuffling as she goes back to her place.

“Haha shut up! Our friends here simply told the truth. And they came to the same conclusion without knowing all the details”

“Meg!”

“So what? You're friends, aren't you? So there's nothing wrong if I tell them what you did? You've got nothing to hide, have you?” Meg begins telling us about Eddie and Angie going out two times and this just supports our common opinion, an opinion we didn't even know was common since each one of us just kept it to themselves.

“Oh my god, Angie, on the Space Needle! That's so romantic!” Grace basically melts.

“Uhm yep, very romantic,I was about to throw up in the elevator but I didn’t unfortunately, that would have been the pinnacle of romanticism”

“Why do you always have to belittle every single good thing that happens to you? What do you gain from always pretending you don't care?” Meg scolds her reaching out and messing up her hair.

“I'm not belittling anything, instead you're always making everything bigger than it is! That's Seattle's landmark, he wanted to go and asked me to follow him, that's all”

“Yeah, sure, just as he asked you to follow him to California. He had to go, he asked you to go too. That's all” Meg does a pretty good impression of Angie, so good that Angie laughs a little.

“WHAT?” Grace almost jumps on the sofa.

“Did he ask you to follow him on tour?” I don't jump, but I'm still curious.

“Not at all! He just suggested MEG and I could go to California at some point to see one of their shows, that's all” Angie points out Eddie's invitation wasn't only for her.

“Well, maybe he just mentioned Meg because he didn't want to expose himself too much” I explain sitting up on the couch, where I was almost sprawled out.

“Or because he knew you'd never go alone.” adds Meg “Although, well, you'd have to go alone this time, since I don't want to”

“Why not?” I ask her and Angie seems surprised too, as if she didn't even consider this possibility.

“You know, considering my situation with Mike I don't think that'd be a good idea. What should I go for? He wants to be alone, why would I bother him while he's on tour?”

“That's true.” Angie admits “Anyway, there's not just Mike, I mean, the others are there too and would be happy to see you”

“I know, but I don't really feel like. You gotta go though” Meg smiles again, whereas Angie pouts.

“Me? What for?”

“To pay visit to the guys” Grace replies in Meg's place.

“And to Eddie!” I add.

“But why me? They... well, they're friends, but they're more friends of yours rather than me... I'm more a friend by extension” she says, Meg gives her a nasty look and I decide to intervene to avoid an apocalypse.

“What are you talking about? Where does this come from? We've been knowing you for months now, Jeff adores you and Stone too, just like us and all the guys. Obviously you were Meg's new friend at first, but now you're part of the gang now”

“Ok... well... thank you, Laura... It's just... what will I do alone in San Diego? Hey, why don't you come with me?” Angie's a little embarrassed at first, then her face lights up when she thinks she's found the solution.

“I'd love to go, Angie, but I'll start my internship at the bank next week, I considered going to see Jeff, but it's not possible this time”

“What about you, Grace?”

“Well, I'd be glad to come with you but... if you go, then you won't be here, and Eddie won't be here of course... what if I leave too? Who would work at the mini mart with Hannigan? Ian can't work all shifts”

“Oh yeah, you're right... Well, why don't you go and surprise Stone?! I’ll cover your shifts”

“Hehe I don't know, that'd be nice, but we've been going out for such a short time, I don't want to badger the guy, I don't want him to think I'm clingy or something like that”

“And that means you gotta go by yourself, ok?” Meg takes the deck of cards from Angie's hands, takes one and gives it back to her.

“You gotta... as if it was an order” she mumbles picking her card and holding our the deck for Grace.

“IT IS!” we all exclaim.

“I hate you”

***********************************************************************************************************************************

“That's not fucking fair though, you put pants on” Stone grumbles as he gives his money to the bassist.

“They're cargo shorts, they don't count” Starr retorts pointing the neck of his beer bottle at our guitarist.

“What the hell does it mean?” Gossard's grimace is priceless, but I doubt it'll make him get his money back.

“Anyway, we didn't talk about pants, the bet was I had to go out with cowboy boots, bathrobe and sunglasses, without a shirt. Pants were never mentioned” Mike insists and as soon as Stone drops the last note on the table, he collects his money and stick it in its pocket.

“That's what he needed pants for.” Layne giggles “Or he'd have had to put the money in his underwear”

“As if he didn't do it already” Jerry shrugs.

“I always do” the bass player nods.

“Instead, it was weird to see him using pockets” Kinney remarks as he lights up a cigarette.

“Probably it's the first time he does” Cantrell again.

“Probably he didn't even know he had them” Sean's turn again.

“Yeah, go on, make fun of me, they never found anything on me though, neither money or dope, thanks to my little old hiding place” he grabs his crotch extremely pleased with himself.

“And now I figured out who I'll stop buying weed from” Stone says disgusted, prompting a wave of laughter all around the table.

“Who knows what did the girls think?” McCready shakes his head and that puts an automatic silly smile on my face, thinking back at the previous phone call and the effect Angie's voice had on me when I heard it for the first time after a few days. It sounded even sweeter and sexier than usual... We couldn't speak that much for obvious reasons, but I'll make up for that. I wonder if she got my little present.

“Girls? Which girls?” it's easy to catch Jerry's attention, I'm not surprised.

“We called Seattle, to say hi to Meg and Angie, Laura and Grace were there too” Jeff says as he buries his hand in the bowl of peanuts.

“Uh ok” Cantrell hides the awkwardness behind a half smile and a sip of his drink.

“And we fucked around a little, of course” I go on as if I wanted to help him disguise his feelings, but that's not the case, is it?

“Nah, they know us by now, they saw and heard much worse before” Dave speaks too as soon as he comes back from the phone booth just outside the bar, from where I guess he called his girlfriend.

“And they'll see and hear much much worse when they come to see us during this tour” Jeff smiles at Stone, who smiles back, then they both turn towards McCready, who goes huff and rolls his eyes.

“I told you, they'll never come”

“Wanna bet?” Jeff and Stone say at the exact same time, a devilish sparkle in their eyes. Those two have a serious problem with gamble.

“Ha! I'll bet anything you want”

“Where should they come? Here in L.A.?” Sean is the only one who dares intervening in the conversation, while all the others just stare at the three musicians alternatively as they say yes and no.

“L.A. or San Diego, San Francisco, Sacramento... to any of our tour dates” Stone calmly explains.

“They're not coming anyway!” Mikey repeats and I really hope he's wrong.

“Why not?” I ask and maybe I'm showing a little too much of my concern.

“Well, first of all Meg and I had, ehm, a disagreement lately, so I don't think she's looking forward to seeing me”

“It's not just you here though!” I retort and I think I can take that maybe away “I mean... it's all of us, she wouldn't have to spend the whole time with you”

“I know what I'm saying, I know her better than you, she won't show up I can assure you”

“Well, what about the other girls?” Layne glances a very quick look at Jerry sitting right in front of him.

“Angie doesn't go anywhere without Meg” Mike shakes his head then drinks the beer the waitress has just brought to the table.

“But Angie does travel alone, doesn't she? Didn't she even go to Europe alone?” Starr asks and I nod too as I look at our guitarist, who on the other hand destroys my hopes to see her soon.

“It's not the travel itself, she can go anywhere alone, but she wouldn't visit us alone on tour, she's shy, it's not something she'd do”

“People change, especially if they have motivation... right Eddie?” Jeff gently nudges me and I start considering strangling him in his sleep.

“Well, yeah... she seems less shy to me, I mean, I haven't known her for long, but it looks like she's coming out of her shell, isn't she?”

“Mike's right, it's something she'd never do, she'd feel uncomfortable” Jerry joins the No party and now I've just realized he's here too. Not literally, not here tonight, I realized he's on tour with us too and that could be a problem for Angie. She shouldn't worry anyway, because she wouldn't have to necessarily see him, but would she understand? I didn't consider this detail: Angie might not want to come to California because Jerry's here too. Shit.

“Bullshit, I think she'll come see us!” Jeff repeats apparently convinced “What do you think, Eddie? Wanna bet?”

“I think... well, she could. And she could travel with Laura instead of Meg”

“Mmm no, that's out of question, Laura has to work. She could come here with Grace though, what do you think, Stone?” I'm optimistic for a couple of seconds, but the moment is gone thanks to Jeff.

“Doesn't Grace works at the mini mart with Angie and Eddie? They can't all be on holiday at the same time” Krusen definitely kills all my hopes.

“I bet twenty bucks they won't give a fuck about us and won't come see us” Kinney declares out of the blue punching the table and making it tremble.

“Oh no, pfff twenty dollars, hold on, hold on! Let's be serious: who thinks no, none of the girls will come see us, raise your hand” Stone takes hold of the situation and the hands of Mike, Jerry, Sean and Dave are right up in the air.

“Ok, so who thinks at least one of the girls will come see us and make us happy?” Jeff asks as he puts his hand up, followed by me, Layne, Starr and Stone.

“Great, what do we bet on?” Starr covers himself better with the robe and crosses his arms on his chest.

“Ok, so, the losers will have to take care of loading and unloading instruments and setting up the stage with the crew, while the winners will just mind their own fucking business” Mikes comes up with this nice idea and Krusen and the others highfive him.

“That's funny, but what if nobody comes? We'll just find out at the end of the tour, when will the losers pay?” I point out at the flaws in McCready's plan.

“On the nex tour” he shrugs.

“But they won't be there on the next tour, we won't be touring with them forever” I explain as I point my index finger at the members of Alice in Chains.

“Well, they'll go on tour though, by themselves, right? The losers will have to do this for their own band, for a month starting from the first post-California show. That's if the girls won't come, if they do, losers will have to pay from the immediately following gig” Jeff goes on and everyone nods, except for Stone and I.

“Yeah, it can work, but it's not the same if the winners can't witness the humiliation of the losers all together at the same time. I wanna do something to have a laugh with, and at, everybody at once here, possibly before going back to Seattle” Gossard smirks and looks at me. He's too confident about this, what if he knows something I ignore? Fuck, I hope so.

“I got it” I immediately have all eyes on me.

“Ok... so?” Sean prompts me to talk, as I try and think about something better than the first stupid thing I've just come up with, but I can't.

“So... if the girls come see us or, if they don't, on our last night in California before going back home, we'll choose the worst dance club around and spend the night there. And the losers...”

“The losers...?” Layne gives me a puzzled look.

“The losers will have to come to the club... dressed as... Village People”

They blank stare at me and the whole table goes silent for a few endless seconds, until a collective and sudden laughter shakes them all.

“Hahahahaha holy shit, I'm in!” Layne accepts as he's holding his belly to calm down.

“I'm in too, I don't give a fuck, as you can see I got no problems with putting on weird clothes” Starr points at himself.

“I do have, can I retreat?” Sean complains.

“No, what's done is done, sorry. Anyway, I think you'd be a perfect biker” Stone jokes and throws a peanut at him.

“Nah, Starr will be the biker. You'd be a great cop though, you already have the fuck face” the drummer retorts as he catches it and ridiculously chews on it in Gossard's face.

“Hehe well, if we lose, remember I'll be the cowboy, apart from that you can be whatever the fuck you want” Jerry stands up from his chair and points at the others who voted No before walking away somewhere.

And what about me? What will I be: the native or the soldier?

********************************************************************************************************************************************

“It's Wednesday!” I almost weep when, after I open my eyes because of my hated alarm clock and sit on the bed, careful to keep my arms and shoulders under the duvet, I realize what day it is and that I don't have to go to work or class. I curse a little againt the alarm clock and against myself for not turning it off last night. Well, whatever, I lay back down onthe bed, pull the duvet to cover me up to my nose and fall asleep again in a couple of seconds. I open my eyes as soon as I feel the bed moving, not really left and right, not exactly back and forth, but not even up and down. I'd say it kind of sways all around. I'm in the daylight, the sun is shining pretty hard and it's fucking hot. And I'm in the middle of the sea, with my whole bed that's become my boat. Actually I'm in a lake, because I look around and I see land all around, but in my mind that's the sea. I'm apparently ok with all this and I'm not weirded out when I look down and I notice I'm wearing a one piece bathing suit. On the nightstand, yeah, because the nightstand is cruising together with the bed, I see a long and narrow glass, filled with an orange liquid that must be juice, with a straw and a red tiny drink umbrella. I don't hesitate, since it's really fucking hot and I'm thirsty, I take the glass, throw the baby umbrella in the water, take the straw between my lips and try to drink, but nothing, not a single drop of juice comes out of that. I try and try again and I don't know why I don't just throw away the straw too and drink directly from the glass, no, I can't, in my dream this is the only possible way to drink, through this fucking broken straw. I'm still trying when I feel something strange in my mouth, like a foreign object moving inside. This strangely doesn't make me want to puke and I don't even panic, I just use two fingers to rub the walls and roof of my mouth a little until I find what I'm looking for and pull it out: it's a pretty thick thread, which goes through the straw into the glass and then comes out from that and disappears into the sea water. I pull out a little bit from my mouth, maybe a couple of inches, but soon after that I can see yards and yards of thread rolled up on the bed. I forget I'm thirsty, I throw away the glass and stretch out to grab the small cord right where it comes out from the water and start pulling it towards me, and by doing this the bed-boad starts to move in a definite direction that I ignore. In a matter of seconds I find myself almost near the land, right in front of a high riff that used to be a sandy beach moments ago, and I keep on tugging at the thread even though it looks like I'm gonna crash against the rocks. But that doesn't happen because right when I'm almost splatting, I see a little opening in the riff and the thread leads right there and I end up in a pitch dark cave. I sail for an undefinite amount of time, I can't see shit and I only hear water flowing and the sound of the rope rubbing against the edge of the bed. Suddenly I hear something else, another noise, the sound of a switch, and I immediately see who turned it on because it's a light switch: Eddie turned the lights on in the kitchen. It doesn't look like the one in his apartment, it's an unknown kitchen I've never seen, a kitchen with a dock. And right against the dock my bed stops and I keep on pulling on the now loose thread.

“Hi Angie! You don't need to pull it all out, I'm here now” Eddie recommends, and he's wearing my pajamas with hedgehogs, as he pours himself a glass of water from the tap “You're thirsty, right?” he asks then heads towards the dock, walks the whole platform and hands the glass to me.

“Yes, I am! Thank you” I reach for the glass but then I suddenly remember I'm only wearing a bathing suit, so I quickly cover myself with the sheets after removing the roll of rope from the bed, but when I look up he's already gone and I see him standing in front of the fridge in the kitchen “Sorry” I say without a reason.

“Don't worry, you'll just have to wait for the next turn, ok?” he reassures me with a smile, then turns his back to me, takes a couple of carrots, a tomato and an orange from the fridge, then picks up a knife from a drawer and starts peeling and cutting fruit and vegetables.

“Thank you”

“What about cucumber? Should I put it too?”

“It depends on what you're doing...”

“A centrifuged juice, for you” he turns around and winks at me, then goes back to his work.

“Ok so, yes, you can put it in. Oh and celery would be great too” I add absentmindedly as I'm still rummaging through the sheets and under the pillow looking for my pajamas, that of course I can't find since Eddie has it on.

“I don't have selery...” Eddie turns around me with the saddest pout and barely makes eye contact with me.

“Oh well, it's ok, no selery then, it'll be good all the same” I try and reassure him, but he throws the knife down on the floor dramatically, then takes his face between his hands, leaning against the kitchen counter and shaking his head, slowly at first, then faster and faster, like a madman.

“No no no NO!”

“Eddie, come on, calm down, what's wrong?” he takes his hands off his face, uncovering red weeping eyes that still won't look at me.

“I can't stay here” he sighs as he walks to the dock.

“Why not? What's wrong, where are you going?” I ask worried.

“Hold on to that fucking thread” he whispers, finally looking and half smiling at me. A second later he dives into the water, immediately disappearing.

“EDDIE!” I scream my lungs out and without taking a breath I jump in the water to follow him, regardless of everything, also of the fact I can't swim. But it doesn't matter because the very moment I touch the water I wake up abruptly.

“What the fuck?” I grunt to myself and hope I didn't yell Eddie's name in my sleep, those three don't need one more pretext to make fun of me. I'll never know if I did, because when I get up I find a note by the girls in the kitchen saying they went out for breakfast, that they tried to wake me up but it was impossible and maybe they'll bring me some sweets. Sweets? Again? After all we had to eat yesterday? I really hope they won't. I mean, I'd stuff my face with sweets right now, but since I've been working my ass off to lose these, I don't know, 7 or 8 ounces of weight, I don't wanna fuck up for one weak moment. I make myself a cup of hot steamy coffee, also because the apartment is still freezing, and I drink it without sugar, sitting at the window, as I gaze upon the damp covering the streets and the cars parked just outside this building. Who knows what's the weather like in California right now? Of course it's not as cold as here, but I don't think it's really hot in this time of the year, I mean, it's not summer yet. We could have asked the guys yesterday, we managed to spend like fifteen minutes on the phone talking about absolutely nothing, zero. And Eddie barely spoke. I sigh, wash the cup and head for the bathroom and while I wash my teeth I have an idea. Since I've got nothing to do this morning, instead of a rushed shower, I'll have a nice and warm relaxing bath. If I have hot water of course. I make sure the boiler's working and start filling the tub, then I go to Meg's room to borrow her portable radio. As I'm walking back to the bathroom I hear the phone ringing, so I take a turn towards the living room and pick it up from the coffee table, where we left it last night.

“Hello?”

“Hey, hi Angie! I didn't wake you up, did I?” says a voice I haven't heard for a while.

“Hi Dave, no, don't worry, I've been awake for a while. What's up?”

“It's ok, everything's as usual, you know, I still don't know if I'm in the band or not, anyway it's alright” he goes on with the same joke, I think he'll keep telling it for the next ten years of career.

“Hahaha of course you're in the band, you idiot” I laugh as I go back to the bathroom, taking the phone and the radio with me.

“Anyway, we have to finish recording the album and I heard we'll go to Los Angeles at some time in the future to complete it with the producer. As far as I know, they already did like half of it, but there are new songs we wrote in the meantime, I mean, that Kurt wrote, so we must record a demo of this new stuff first and send it to him so he knows what we're up to. But I'm already talking too much, what the fuck, been on the phone two seconds and I'm already talking your head off! What about you? Tell me something”

“Haha I don't have much to tell, surely nothing as interesting as the new Nirvana record” it's not out yet, I mean it's yet to be done apparently, and everybody's already talking about it.

“Bullshit. What about your exams?”

“Pretty terrible, but I passed” I stick one hand into the water to check the temperature.

“Great! Did you celebrate?”

“Hehe not really... but yeah, last night with a small group of friends”

“If you're already awake this time, it means you didn't celebrate the right way. Talking about celebrations, I didn't thank you for the present you sent me for my birthday”

“Yes, you did” I retort as I turn off the water and sit on the edge of the bathtub.

“Yes, but with a fucking message on the answer machine, I'm a douche”

“The message was ok”

“Thank you Angie, I'm gonna treasure those drum sticks and use them for the final recordings of the album”

“Wow, so in a certain sense I'll be on that record too! Don't tell Kurt or he'll get sick” I smirk thinking about Cobain reading Idaho among Dave's special thanks written on the record and throwing him out of the band. In that case, no, he wouldn't have passed his audition.

“Hahaha deep down I think he admires you”

“Really? And for what? For my sense of humor? Since his sucks”

“You're much more alike than you think, you know?”

“Another thing you shouldn't tell him if you want to pass the audition”

“Didn't I pass already?”

“And apart from the band? How are you doing in your new apartment?” I ask as I see the steam rising from the tub and slowly condensing on the mirror.

“It's a nice place, I expected much worse. There are no rats either”

“Really? Cool, it's a luxury place then!”

“It is! I could even take girls home, if only my room mate didn't fart that much. That is, if I had girls to bring home obviously.

“Hahaha did he try charcoal?”

“Actually, there is one...”

“One what?”

“One girl”

“Hahaha I had no doubts about it, what's her name?” I can't really see Dave alone, he's like Jerry. Well, he's the nicer and honest version of Jerry Cantrell.

“Jennifer... but I've just met her, I mean, I only met her once. Twice actually, but the first time was at my birthday party and we basically didn't talk, apart from a couple of words to introduce ourselves. I saw her again in a club and we had a pretty interesting exchange. Exchange of words, not fluids. Not yet at least. And I'm not telling you to make you jealous or something, even though... well, I wouldn't mind if you were a little bit jealous, I must admit I'd like it...”

“I'm not jealous, Dave, I'm actually very happy for you” I tell him honestly. Considering that I felt kinda guilty for rejecting him, now it's good to know he's got a new girl, it makes me fell relieved.

“I should have known. Anyway, she's gonna go back to Cali soon and I don't know if and when I'll see her again”

“California? Isn't she from Seattle?”

“No, she's here to record with her band”

“Ah she's a musician!”

“Bass player”

“Girls who play bass are always sexy, she must be really cute”

“Are you sure that... not a trace? Not even a small crumb of jealousy in your system? Nothing?” Dave goes on and it's really difficult to understand if he's kidding or not, but my answer is the same in both cases.

“Hehe nothing, Dave, I'm very sure”

“Mmm ok, I just wanted to make sure”

“Anyway, don't you have her number?”

“Yes” he reluctantly answers.

“Ask her out then? I mean, even if she says no or things turn shit in the end, she's leaving anyway. You're in a man's ideal position”

“Oh fuck... you're right! You're a genius. I think I'll call her”

“Good boy! I gotta go now” I tell him looking at the small clock beside the mirror.

“Gotta go cry in your room and eat chocolate because of jealousy?”

“No, actually I'm gonna go wash myself because I stink. Bye Dave”

“Bye Angie, see ya! And thanks again for the present”

“You're welcome. Have a nice day!”

I put the phone on the floor next to the radio, I put it on KISW, add some more hot water since it got a little cold in the tub, then I take off my pajamas and enter, holding my nose and sinking completely underwater. The telephone rings sounds amplified through the water and it surprises me so much that I almost slip in the tub. I resurface coughing and sitting up in the bathtub as gracefully as a hippo, then reach for the phone. What did Dave forget to tell me?

“Hello?” I ask and clear my trhoat.

“Hello, Angie. Isn't it a good time?”

“EDDIE!” I yell maybe a little too loud for someone who was drowning a minute ago and that's why I keep coughing.

“Hi. I hear you're still sick. It looked like you were feeling better when we went out all together”

“Yeah yeah *cough* I'm fine *cough cough* it's just... err, I just kinda choked on some water I was drinking when the phone rang” I reply trying to breathe normally.

“Oh fuck, I'm sorry” he apologizes the same way he did in my dream for not having celery and I can't help bursting into laughing, something smart to do when you're suffocating.

“Haha sorry for what? It's not your fault”

“Maybe I called too early, you must have gone to bed late last night”

“No, don't worry, I've been awake for a long while. How are you doin'?”

“I'm alright, I'm the one who kept early hours hanging out in Los Angeles with the guys, I basically came back one hour ago”

“Hehe I can imagine, are you in your room now?”

“Yes, I'm in bed” four simple words an a half that give me a weird feeling, I don't know why.

“Wait, I'm gonna go grab a magazine and read something to you” I look at the magazine rack next to the toilet and I'm about to get out of the tub when Eddie stops me.

“Oh no no, I don't need to sleep! I mean, well, I should, but I didn't call you for that”

“Are you sure?” so why did he call? They called last night.

“Yes, I'm sure. But what's this noise? Sounds like water” he asks while I'm sitting back in the tub, so I freeze halfway and start moving really slow.

“Water? Oh yeah, uhm, it sounds like water because... because it is, it's water, I'm... I'm in the kitchen and I'm washing the big mess of dishes, glasses and bowls we used yesterday”

“Ah I see! Poor you”

“Actually, do you mind if I get you on speakerphone? So I can go on, you know...”

“I can call you later if you want, maybe I'm bothering you right now...” he suggests and I just scream at him, telling him there's no problem.

“NO! Err no problem, really, you're not bothering me, I'm glad to hear you”

“Ok... well, what's up? We didn't have the chance to talk much last night” I put the speaker on and Eddie's deep voice echoes between the bathroom walls.

“I'm fine thank you, and you? Oh in the end I didn't reject the grade, you know? I thought a lot about what you said and of course you were right so there was really no need to think about it that much in the end” I babble as I lay back down in the tub, raising my voice a little and be careful not to make too much noise with the water.

“Well done, I'm happy about that. Listen... I wanted to ask you two things...” he anticipates and from the sound of his voice I've got the feeling he's smiling.

“Ok, ask me”

“First, I wanna know if you got something these days”

“Something? Like what?”

“Like a little package, in the mail...”

“No, why? What package?”

“Uhm no, nothing. The second-”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOTHING?? YOU CAN'T TELL ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND THEN LEAVE ME WITHOUT AN EXPLANATION!” I yell as an insane person as I grab onto the edge of the tub and emerge from the water like the Kraken.

“Hahaha be careful! You're gonna break some glass”

“Glass? Did you send me a glass?” strange kind of present, I was thinking about maybe a magnet from California.

“Hahaha no, I meant, breaking something by washing the dishes”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah yes, sure! I get it now, sorry. Hehe no, don't worry, I won't break anything” I laugh internally cursing myself for my chronic self-counsciousness. Couldn't I just tell him I was in the bathroom and ask him a minute to come out of here?

“Anyway, it's a little gift, for you, I sent it before I left and it looks like I overestimated the speed of postal service in Seattle”

“A gift? For what?” he sent me something from Seattle?

“For you, I told you. Can I ask the second question?”

“Yes...” I reply, still perplexed because of this gift thing.

“B-52s?” he asks and this time it's pretty clear he's smiling.

“Hahaha I love them! Don't you like them?”

“It's not really my thing, but yeah, that's a nice song”

“And it's perfect for travelling”

“I gotta admit I was kinda surprised”

“You just heard the first one?”

“Please, I heard the whole tape during the first hour in the van, a C60 mixtape, perfect”

“And what do you think about it?”

“I really liked it but it's not just that. I repeat, some things really surprised me”

“For example?”

“For example, I didn't know you liked U2”

“Oh yes, I liked them, The Joshua Tree is one of my favorite records, and I think that is one of the best record intro songs of all time”

“And it was about travelling as well”

“Sure, what did you think? That I did things just randomly? I'm a professional”

“I noticed that. I thought you would simply put songs you liked together, instead you inserted specific songs relating to travelling and discovering places or you chose tunes that are great to listen to when you're driving. And in general, all the sequence of songs is perfect, there are very different sounds but each song links perfectly to the one who comes first and after”

“I'm still waiting for the moment you're gonna tell me what you hated of that tape”

“Hahaha nothing, absolutely”

“So you were surprised... positively”

“Very positively, really. And I didn't think it was possible to put Black Sabbath next to The Smiths in a plausible way, but you did and they sound great together.

“Hahaha yeah, the great ending”

“That's why I forgive you for trying to corrupt me by choosing easy ones like The Beatles and The Doors”

“And also The Clash”

“Yeah, but you picked up a slightly less mainstream song”

“Mmm I'm not sure... So did I pass this exam?”

“You did, with the highest grades”

“Thank you, prof. Vedder!”

“And then, you're there, it's you inside that tape, it reflects you in everything, so it's perfect”

“You said you wanted to know the music that meant home for me. Of course that's just a part of it, a C60 cassette is too small to stuff everything in it...”

“I expect you to make me some more then, even some C90 maybe, what about that?”

“Hehe ok, deal! At this point though, you should make me one in return. I mean, I'm curious to know your house too”

“Uhm I'll see what I can do” he answers and the smile in his voice is so big that I can almost see his dimples imprinting on the foggy mirror and that's when I understand everything: his gift is a cassette. He must have decided to reciprocate my present by making his own mixtape and sent me before leaving, because he's just like that and he's capable of such sweet gestures.

“I count on that. Listen, you're playing tomorrow, right?” I ask him, but for a moment I think he fell asleep because he doesn't talk and I just hear him breathing deeply “Eddie? Are you still there? Are you awake?”

“HUH?! Yeah yeah, sorry, I got distracted...”

“Were you falling asleep? Maybe you should rest a little”

“Nah, don't worry, I'm not tired, I'll sleep when I'm dead”

“Hehe just like Warren Zevon says”

“You know him too? You keep on surprising me”

“Everybody knows him and that song... although I didn't put him in my tape”

“Non really everybody”

“Anyway, I was asking you about tomorrow's gig. Are you ready?”

“I'm ready, I can't wait”

“Well, time goes faster if you sleep”

“I don't wanna sleep, you know what, after I hang up with you I'm gonna go catch some waves, there's a really cool beach here”

“But do people surf now? Isn't it cold?”

“Uhm no, the temperature is ok. It's the water that's pretty cold”

“How do you do it then?”

“Oh you just put a wetsuit on and you can go anywhere”

“Aaaah you go with wetsuits!”

“Hehehe of course, if you don't want to freeze to death”

“Sorry for my ignorance. But what about the parts that are not covered by the wetsuit? Don't they freeze all the same? I always wondered, your head for example”

“My head is empty, nothing to freeze in there, so I never had problems”

“Haha this joke was too easy, I expect something better from you”

“Your right, princess, will you ever forgive this slip-up into low-grade comedy?” Eddie giggles and I do too, at least until I casually look down and see my hand is on one of my boobs and I've been unintentionally tickling my nipple for who knows how long while talking to Eddie without even noticing.

“OUCH! FUCK” I exclaim when, deeply ashamed, I take my hand off my breast so fast that I accidentally hit it against the wall on the right.

“What's wrong? Are you ok?” he asks worried.

“Yeah... yes, sorry, I was just... I dish slipped out of my hands! I saved him inches from the floor hehe”

“Maybe I'm too distracting” you are Eddie, you have no idea.

“Oh no, you're not! Anyway, I can let you go surfing if you want”

“I've got all day to surf, I can go wherever I want. Now I'd rather talk to you some more, if you want”

“Sure I want to” I answer as I examine my red knuckles and my fingers that are starting to wrinkle for the time spent soaked in water. I'd spend hours on the phone with you, but first I gotta find a way to disrupt the very laws of physics, counteract Archimedes' upthrusts and avoiding to displace any liquid as I remove the body I had previously immersed in it. A body that is mine and apparently also started to take initiative out of my control.

“Great. So, let's talk about Violent Femmes...”

#pearl jam fanfiction #grunge fanfiction #pearl jam #jeff ament #stone gossard #mike mccready #dave krusen #eddie vedder #alice in chains #mike starr #sean kinney #layne staley #jerry cantrell #chapters

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