#ironically cam had taken over his uncle's personality

[iit-s-kitty]

As a kid, learning Cam was Lothor's nephew in A Samurai's Journey was a shocker. Now it is fucking obvious they're related— only the Watanabe's would have that sheer amount of saltiness and sass

[aspiestvmusings]

MCU & SPIDERMAN: FAR FROM HOME SPOILERY REVIEW

This is my first, initial “review” of the latest MCU movie - “Spiderman. Far from Home” 

SPOILERS, BEWARE! for “SPIDERMAN: FAR FROM HOME”

“Everywhere I go/look, I see his face/I am reminded of Tony”

The memorial video made by Peter’s HS friends. The comic cans, the online/getty pics used, the editing, the music choice “Dolly Parton’s “I will always love you” … from “The Bodyguard” by Whitney Houston” & images of Tony, Steve, Nat, Vision… Tony…

all the Ironman drawings/art on the classroom wall in Peters school (as he & Ned talk about the vacation plan)

the Ironman mural on the building wall… when Peter escapes to the roof… from the “press conference”

the film/video choices on the plane from Americas to Europe  (next to: “Nova: Einstein Rosen Bridges” &  “The Snap,” & “Finding Wakanda,” & “Hunting Hydra.”) is a 114 minute long Tony/Ironman docu/film… story

I am pretty sure there are also some pictures/posters/images on wall/screen at the airport, when they arrive in Europe... but I need to go watch it again (3rd time) to be sure. I think I saw it, but am not certain....

The murals (with flowers & lit candles) in Europe (Prague)…

Tony’s tech… everywhere

The EDITH integrated in Tony’s glasses...that are now Peter’s. He’s the next Tony Stark. He is the only one who can be trusted with the power - everyone else would just use it for their own good. The Tony glasses being basically a supporting character in the film... central in many scenes. 

Tony’s friends & “enemies” (people, who remember/mourn him & people, who are jealous of him)

Things I noticed/The little things:  

The BLIP “in memoriam” video edit made by Peter’s HS kids: The font was comic sans! The song choice was “I will always love you” by Whitney Houston from the film “The Bodyguard” (original: Dolly Parton), and the “in memoriam” part included images of Tony Stark... twice (first & last), Nat, Steve, VISION...and also others.... And biggest question here is... does this mean that Cap is considered dead? Does this mean his time travel shenanigans lead to him/the team listing him as one of the casualties... to not reveal the details of what really happened & to keep the time travel & other things... a secret? 

BOH! MJs new favorite word. I loved how Peter used it back at MJ... when he doesn’t want to reveal what’s in the bag/box. 

That “cat” in that one scene kinda looked like GOOSE, but only  a little bit, so was it a random cat, or was it a “relative” of Goose? Maybe another flerken?

I absolutely loved how happy & excited Peter got when he was told that the multiverse is real, not just a theory (anymore). I’m kinda sad that it turned out to not be true... for now. (he’d love to learn about the multiverse, just like he’s now studying Thor, who was a myth before, in his physics class)

When Peter was betrayed by someone he trusted & had no one to turn to, who did he call...from Netherlands? Happy. He was the one person, who knew, knew him & could be trusted, and could help him. I’m glad he had that option...someone to turn to. 

That tulip field in Netherlands was beautiful and all, but I was kinda sad to see that plane land there... and then hover above it..for a while... 

Speaking of the plane: The Avengers Tower was sold & is now being re-built by someone else, The Avengers Headquarters was destroyed in Endgame & since Tony is gone (and everyone else ran  away/went to hiding), I am not sure it’ll be re-built (we saw that the clan-up after the battle was happening... in the background...during the Endgame end scene where they set up the time travel platform by the lake). And now the airplane was destroyed in FFH. So lots of Tony’s tech (suit making machines & other tech) is destroyed now. And even though  the introduction of EDITH suggests that he had many other labs & tech set up, “secretly” everywhere... still... it keeps getting destroyed. and since he’s not here to create anything new, all his work will soon be destroyed/gone if this keeps happening. 

Peter stripped not once...but twice...in front of someone... a girl: first the SHIELD European agent, who made him the new (black) secret european “Night Monkey” suit (pants) & later in front of the girl he really likes... MJ (shirt). 

Mysterio’s illusions: all those scenes were visually amazing/brilliant! The Prague fire monster, the bar scene illusions after Peter leaves - the twist!, the German “safe house” illusions  that ended with the train & then the London Tower bridge illusions. 

The bar scene “turn of events” twist moment was brilliantly scary: it showed just how “crazy” Mysterio was. That, together with the “illusion rehearsal” scene, when he learns about the missing projector...and threatens his whole team... that was same level brilliantly scary. 

“Appearances can be deceiving”  hahaha Oh, how it hinted at the end credits scene reveal. It was not just Happy trying to tells “Fury” about Mysterio and his deception, but... also how Fury & Maria Hill are actually... skrulls, who work for Fury, while he (and Hill?) are elsewhere, working on other projects. 

Skrull sleeper cells... mentioned by “Fury”... a reference to Captain Marvel & comics.... 

Happy throwing a shield...at the drone... His cap moment. And his comment about how heavy it is/hard it is, and he doesn’t know how Cap does it hahaha

Michelle and the medieval weapon..that she borrows from the museum vault... 

There are many artifacts in the Tower of London museum vault - the crown jewels, all kinds of medieval tools & weapons, and also... “IRON MAN” - medieval iron knight armor!

Peter taking a selfie as he swings in NYC...in the end. He’s swinging & reading texts/texting & taking selfies... 

The text/line on the fence on the street/in front of “construction site”.... when Peter/Spiderman is swinging to MJ in the end scene..on NYC streets... (Madison Square Garden) say:   “We’re excited  to show you what comes next. And there are numbers 1, 2, 3 & a ? (instead of number 4) under the text. This has many meanings: a) the people in the MCU/FFH universe  are excited to show the citizens what they’re building there. b) the MCU creators are excited to show/tell us/viewers/fans what’s to come next...both in Spiderman films & MCU in general (Phase 4). c) Also..according to fans, who know more, it’s also a reference to the “Fantastic 4″.  

The initials B.F.P. on the suitcase he takes to Europe aka the suitcase belonged to Peters uncle Ben (May’s husband). Too bad it, too,  along many other things & places...got destroyed..in this film. 

LOL at everyone knocking on Peter & Ned’s rooms door at the hotel theyäre staying in in Venice. Interrupting “Fury” (and Peter) & Fury’s reaction... (he is so done with being interrupted...every 5 seconds)

All the “upgrades” to the class trip in Europe & all the changes in itinerary... #IfTheyOnlyKnewWhyThePlansWeereChanged

The “Peter tingle” (aka The Spidey Sense) 

“What happens in London/Europe, stays in London/Europe?” Peter, who is/has been keen to keep his identity a secret, behaved strangely & boldly in Europe & especially at the end of the big “battle” in London...where he just stands on the bridge...without his mask & talks to & kisses MJ. In the middle of the bridge, at the center of big event... Are there no video/traffic 8etc) cams in Europe/LOndon in 2023/2024 MCu? Are there no cameras/smartphones that people use to take pics & vids of every big event they see... in 2023/2024 MCU? I found that surprising... based on all the attempts he made until now & in this film..to keep his identity a secret. 

Pepper Potts signing the big (in both size & sum) check from Stark Fund to May’s charity event. But not being able to attend the event herself. Most likely cause the actress is done with MCU, but... otherwise...interesting... to mention her like that & specify that she was unable to attend in person...

How many “vacations” has Fury taken over the MCU history? While I mostly think that this was the first... after Fury & CM were “reunited” during the Endgame events (BLIP) & the plan was formed after Tony was gone (they were both at his memorial service) & the returned Fury who had no more team on this planet, was kinda lost...) But I also kinda think he might’ve used the skrulls before to take vacations. I am pretty certain that we saw the real Fury in Captain Marvel, in Iron Man films...  and I am also pretty certain that he was himself in Infinity War/Endgame...because as he’s “dying” aka turning into dust he doesn’t turn into skrull.Though it is possible that the dusting doesn't count & the skull face is only revealed if a character actually dies. (this is why we can be certain Tony was Tony & Nat was Nat in Endgame) 

ETA

What I LOVED the most 

My absolute favourite scene(s) is the Peter & Happy at the Holland/Netherland  tulip field & on the plane, hovering above the tulip field scene(s) -  their “talk” as Happy patched up Peter’s wounds. Talking about being a superhero and making mistakes, about Tony...and more... 

That scene...to me...sums up...hopefully... what’s to come. It confirms what I thought would be the case. Tony was/is Iron Man and no one can & should replace him as Iron Man. So everyone asking Peter if he’s gonna be the next IM... everyone looking for the next mightiest protector of the earth... and looking at SM...cause everyone else seems to have disappeared... are just putting too much pressure on him. He’s not the next Iron Man. He is Peter. He is Spider Man. (though after that end twist... who knows... maybe he will put on an iron suit for a while...since he can’t be the unknown neighborhood hero anymore...now that everyone knows...) But to me it summed up peters journey in this film & sets up what’s to come. He needed some guidance & Happy provided it... he needed to realize that he’s he’s own person & his own superhero & he’s not there to replace Tony/IM or any other superhero

But yeah... I loved how Happy said it. When others pressured him & manipulated with him (Beck purposely making him feel inadequate by saying things like “if you would've done better, he might’ve not died”), the now Pilot was his best friend & the one person he could really talk superhero things with...the one person, who IMO helped him the most with his grief over Tony & all the feelings he had regarding that & the pressure he felt to be his successor. 

Peter is likely the person, who will take over Tony’s role..somewhat...with the tech and such, but he is Peter, not Tony. 

And the end scene in Endgame with Happy & Morgan..talking about cheeseburgers & now this scene in FFH with Happy & Peter talking superheroes, responsibility, Tony...and more... tells me that Happy is now the mentor-uncle to these kids now...kinda. 

...and when Peter, excitedly, yells “I love Led Zeppelin” when the iconic IM song “Back in Black” by AC/DC starts to play... haha... awesome

What I hoped would’ve been (will be explored in future films) explored/shown in more detail: 

THE BLIP & how it affected regular people. We only saw the comial bits/parts - the marching band of Peter’s school disappearing & reappearing & Aunt May reappearing in her apartment..that was no longer hers...as someone else had moved in (a family). When in reality... this film confirms my “theory/suspicion” that Avengers 3 & Avengers 4 - the Thanos snap & the Hulk (un)snap both created chaos everywhere. Both emotional, and legal..and other issues. 

The fact that the world is not in chaos... makes no sense. But then again... since NYC & several other places on Earth being battlefields during the Avengers vs Bad guys/aliens battles...in the past films...and being re-built really fast & people seemingly not panicking or having PTSD after the events... is a thing... then I guess only the main characters will remember & suffer after living through such events...everyone else seems to go on with their normal lives in a week or so... 

It did bother me a bit (even though I know this is a blockbuster film..and those don’t deal with such things...) that the very real repercussions of the snap & re-snap were not really shown or told. Just the funny Blip-video. And then the little bit we saw from the Aunt May held charity event for the homeless. That was the only real hint about the seriousness of those events in the fictional universe (even though she also made a joke about it on stage...but the cause itself is serious)

Things that bothered me

How no one seems to do any background checks in this universe. How no one seems to use any security measures. Like... no one checking up on Mysterio’s backstory (and yes, I know...his team helped create such amazing backstory & provided such great “proof”...that it fooled even “Fury” & SHIELD -- probably would not have fooled the real man, but... that’s the point...) but still... 

Also... Tony’s glasses not having any other safety measures & it being so easy to transfer over the power to someone else. And...despite Peter being vulnerable & trusting what others tell him (he probably thought Fury had checked up on Beck, but still... how & why did EDITH/the glasses not “scan” Beck...and reveal he’s a fraud? I know... that the only time when he’s looking at the illusionist when wearing the glasses is in the bar scene & they seem to be not “on”... still... why is the tech not scanning everything nonetheless? Though yeah... I know that the idea is that because of the characters emotional state they are vulnerable & easy to manipulate, and hence not thinking of checking “twice”...

MCU using the same backstory for yet another villain. Thats old. It’s done. Time to move on. I'm talking about Mysterio & how his backstory is that because he feels personally attacked by Tony Stark then that’s a reason (which justifies..in his mind, when it does not...and has not for any other past MCU villain, who thinks the same twisted way) his actions - destroying historical sights/cities & leaving behind casualties... not caring if there are innocent bystanders getting hurt. I will allow it this time, because Tony was in the center of this film, but this had to be the last time MCU uses the same “Tony hate” as the villains motivator. Also... I don’t trust Beck’s version of the story, so I would not be sure if he’s telling it as it was. He might be, but he might be not. (maybe he did come up with the idea, but perhaps his work contact stated that all creations during working for SI belong to the company, so he has no right to claim the tech as his own..no matter how much he regrets it after. Or perhaps he did (co)create it, but since his idea was weapons-based (destruction) & SI didn’t do weapons anymore, the tech was redesigned by Tony. But until MCU makes a stronger case... I’m not gonna blame Tony for “stealing” becks tech & claiming it as his ow. Also because I do not think Tony ever claimed in past films that he made the tech. He says it cost him a certain sum...though... So it’s even possible he “bought” the idea from Beck...and turned the weapon into therapy sessions... But even if mr. Beck was telling the whole truth and he was the sole creator of the tech & Tony “stole” it... none of it justifies his actions of purposely hurting innocent bystanders & destroying places. ) 

And I cannot believe how anyone can see Mysterio as the good guy, or sympathetic to Peter.  I might be wrong, but IMO all his “friendliness” in the beginning was a trick... part of the plan to earn Peter’s trust. It was part of the “illusion”, so even though I appreciate his comment “never apologize for being the smartest one in the room”, I don’t see it as anything other than fakeness. And I know I might be wrong & he might’ve really liked the kid & try to be friendly & appreciate him... up until “his team messed up & he had no other option than to get rid of all the loose threads”) 

Things I did not see coming: 

The train! I mean... at first I did not suspect that it was actually Beck, not Fury in Germany, but I became suspicious before it was revealed. And then I suspected that the illusion was not over yet, but... what I did not see coming was that train...moment. 

Also...during the London Tower bridge scene... I had a hunch that he’s pulling a double again..and the dying Mysterio on the ground was fake, but I did not see it coming that in reality he was standing right next to spidey, while pointing a gun at the kid. I had thought he was “hiding” somewhere instead. So that kinda surprised me...

What surprised/confused me

What surprised me a bit was seeing THAT character (William) from IM1 being on Team Mysterio. Yes, he was one of Tony Stark’s Stark Industries previous employees, but  it confused me a bit that he blames Tony, when he should've seen Obadiah Stane (who yelled at him for not being Tony Stark & not being able to create a miniature arc reactor, when Tony could do it in cave...with no high tech..using just a box of scraps) as the one to blame -- his anger should’ve been directed at (based on what has been shown on screen so far) at the man who yelled at him in IM1. 

But I guess there’s either a bigger story there after that that the MCU writers/directors decided to not reveal just yet (as we saw him take that thumbdrive after the download was completed at the end of FFH) or Mysterio simply was able to manipulate people so well & rallied them against their former boss, making everyone see him as the bad guy & the source of all their problems. 

THEORIES: 

WHAT IF... the NYC “fake news broadcast” was an illusion created by Mysterio/histeam? This would make it much easier for Marvel to have several other movies released in the next few years...before the next Spiderman & go easier on Spiderman? This way we would not miss a lot of time & there’d be no need to clear his name. they could just have the movie take place right after Far from Home (and prior to the coming movies events)...or they could start with a flashback to the end of this film & the  fade to “2 years later” or something. The last bit is also how they can still release the next Spidery film in a few years, while having several otehr films events happen in between... use a time jump early in the film... after a “flashback”...to the time Peter was considered a villain

[niklaus-no-mans-son-blog]

Stay, Little Valentine, Stay

Who: Camille && Niklaus Where: Cupid’s Nest, where all the unfortunate speed-daters have flocked When: February 14, 2017, early evening. What: Our star-crossed lovebirds can’t seem to leave, but don’t know how to ask each other to stay.

Klaus: He watched Damon move along, feeling fonder of Valentine's Day than he had...probably since it had become a commercialized holiday. Before that, he couldn't honestly recall if it had ever made it on his radar. He usually did away with all of the trappings of the Christian tradition, unless it served him well. Today, it seemed to be serving him well indeed...Or, perhaps not? Camille took the seat opposite him, and he held on to his smug countenance by sheer force of will, and centuries of affected habituation. "Camille," he said, shooting for a confident tone, but perhaps the edges were a bit softer than he had intended. "It seems the third time really is the charm."

Cami: ​ So far so good ​, Cami thought as she left Stefan's table in search of her third date for the evening. Her only regret so far was in not managing to rope Uncle K into the festivities, even through ​ a classic guilt trip ​ sheer power of will. Neither of them entertained the possibilities of romance in their respective lives, but this event had still managed to lift her spirits to the degree she'd wished for him too. ​ And anyway, he- ​

But the blonde's thoughts came to an abrupt halt when she found number 82 - only to glance down at the man occupying the table.

Klaus. ​

- What was he doing here?!? ​ ... ​ Dating. People date, Cami. ​ ... ​ Right ​. -

She sucked in her breath and reached blindly for the chair, eyes running over his features before her own settled into a complacent smile. And damn it, his automatic charisma tugged that smile a little wider than she would've liked, considering the circumstances. Still, she had her words. "Betcha they don't say that one to people who've been struck by lightning..." A split-second pause. "Nice to see you, Klaus. And happy Valentine's Day."

Klaus: He hated it, the way his chest felt tighter when Cami smiled at him. So ​mundane​. Yet he couldn't help himself but to answer it with genuine pleasure of his own. Damn her. "And yet I feel no compunctions. You should know I spent the entire last three minutes planning how best to stab my last date, so you are an incredible improvement," he quipped, not kidding in the slightest. Then again, Camille would be an improvement over anything with a heartbeat (or without, but naturally that went without saying). He hesitated, suddenly feeling the weeks between their last meeting gape between them, before starting up again. "I...​apologize​ for not inquiring after you following the earthquake." Another somewhat awkward pause. "I had a difficult time locating my siblings and I'm afraid that took most of my attention." It seemed a paltry excuse, especially considering he was mainly referring to the sibling, in an eternal coma in a coffin, whom he had ​put​ there, and could no doubt last another day without much bother, but it was, nonetheless, true. Still, he found he wasn't satisfied with it, seeing her now, rosy-cheeked and smiling at him.

Cami: Cami shifted in her seat to get comfortable and fought a grin at his words. "Well you know what they say; ​ the course of true love never did run smooth ​ . Maybe that's a good sign; maybe you're due for some good karma any day now." ​ Or any date now, ​ She thought to herself quietly, though it didn't leave her lips. Instead, she waved away his apologies about not checking in on her after the Earthquake. "Oh, ​ please, ​ we're not- you don't owe me anything like that..." It came out a little tightly, as she thought of the last time they'd seen each other - and rushed to keep talking. "Are your siblings okay? Elijah?" Cami asked, pulling out the name of the one brother she'd met in person. It was true that she'd harboured no particular expectation that Klaus should think of her safety while New Orleans was in in the midst of a natural disaster; but if there was any reservation in her tone it was due to the weeks before the Earthquake and since their last meeting. He hadn't returned her calls, hadn't scheduled any therapy sessions... Fallen off her grid entirely.

That's what you get when you dance with your client to Aretha Franklin in your goddamn pajamas, another voice in her head reproached her stoically.

Klaus: ​We're not...​ Klaus' smile shuttered and like any coward, he sought refuge in the glass, brow furrowing just slightly at the implications. Of course they weren't. That was precisely why he had avoided her so avidly these past weeks. The sense memory of her falling into his arms, head thrown back in laughter sometimes caught him unawares, out of the blue, though, and he would find himself wondering if they ​could be​. Ridiculous. Shortsighted. Selfish, even. No, they ​were not. ​ "Elijah had fortunately left town on business just before the earthquake struck, and to my utter regret, Rebekah and Kol are well enough to cause me endless grief. "You did escape unharmed, though...? Your uncle was it? Your building...?" ​That​ he had actually taken care of personally. It had been the perfect opportunity to make her unfortunate landlord disappear, and the property had quite fortunately gone up for sale. Camille now had a rent-controlled apartment, information which she was unaware of, but really, it was superfluous information anyway.

Cami: "Every- everyone and everything's fine... Thank you." She replied gently, "Church has seen better days, but it's nothing a little bit of charitable campaigning can't fix. And considering that's the worst of it, I'd say we got off easy." Cami nodded before letting out a chuckle when Klaus acknowledged that Kol and Rebekah were around to cause him 'endless grief'. In the wake of such a disaster, they were - all of them - the lucky ones. But then the conversation tapered off and a few seconds' worth of semi-awkward silence elapsed between them. Cami hastened to fill it.

"So if you're afraid that I'm about to psychoanalyze you over some ​ Bordeaux, ​ fear not, I know how to pick my battles." Smiling, the blonde reached for one of the two empty wine glasses that sat between them before pouring some of the red for him. "Wanna play twenty questions, or do you wanna wing this?" She added, nodding towards the stack of cue-cards meant to help the conversation along between strangers, before setting the glass down in front of him.

Klaus: Klaus just looked at her for a second, wondering how they had gotten to a place where there couldn't even pass three minutes together without help. It hurt in a slow, aching sort of way that seemed to spread as if his silent heart was pumping it through his body, a little bit with every few seconds that passed. "Twenty questions. I'll start." His voice was uncharacteristically unreadable, short, but not hard. Not quite abrupt, but not forgiving either. Another beat of silence, his glass of bourbon, the single most important prop he had had today, was now discarded, forgotten but for the tap of his fingers against the rim as he considered. She looked... catching. He wouldn't use words like "beautiful" or "stunning" to describe her, though she was both. There was something ​more​ to her that defied his extensive vocabulary. Defied description at all. And he found he really didn't know what to ask her. ​Have you missed me? Did you enjoy our dance? Did you know I spend most nights on a rooftop four buildings down from yours making sure your sleep isn'd disturbed? Will you please New Orleans and not return? Will you remember me? ​ "And for you...? Is third time the charm for your today?"

Cami: She was pouring some of the Bordeaux into her own glass when he alluded to her other two set-ups today. ​ Yes ​ The answer was instant, instinctive as she watched the last two drops of alcohol drop into her glass, creating little ripples before replacing the cork on the bottle. "I can't complain; haven't wanted to kill anybody yet... Present company included." A sly, stolen glance at him before she let her eyes fall preferentially to the cue card he was holding between two fingers. There was a tension between them; too many unspoken ​ somethings ​, and she didn't want to be the first to acknowledge it - lest it give him extra motive to keep his distance when this date was over.

Why are you avoiding me? Do you think I was unprofessional? Who do you talk to? How've you been lately, ​ really been ​?... ​

Cami gulped down a sip of her wine before reaching for a cue-card herself. "If you were an animal in the wild, which would you choose to be?" ​ What the hell; might as well burn through the cue cards while the clock was ticking... ​

Klaus: That deep pulsing ache in his chest abates as they finally make eye contact. Her words give him hope, albeit not much. Still, not wanting him dead is a head start he doesn't usually have. "High praise," he murmurs, but his lips curl around the edges of the words in faint amusement. She read off the cue card and Klaus frowned in distaste. Such an absurd question. What would this tell her about him? "In the wild, hm? How interesting they don't allow for anything domesticated," he remarked, an ironic eyebrow raising in amusement. Domestic, he was not. Another reason why it was essential he stop this madness and send her on her way, before he got her even more entangled in a world she didn't understand. ​But don't change a hair for me, not if you care for me...​

A wolf, ​ was the thought that entered his mind before he had even managed to get the other words out. He bit them back, unsettled by the fierceness with which they had overtaken him. The overwhelming sense of rightness. But he bit them back, because such an answer was too raw. "Fine. An undomesticated cat then. Some panther or jaguar. I like to imagine I have the same sort of laconic charm." And equally sharp teeth. He picked up a card and didn't even bother pretending to read it. "How do you feel about modeling?"

Cami: If there’s even just the hint of a smile tugging at his lips, Cami’s quick to take note of it. There’s something about that smile that makes her willing – so willing, to let bygones be bygones; to forget the missed calls, the unanswered messages, the s p a c e . Weeks from now, months perhaps, she’ll realize that that blind-eye willingness is where the problem began; and that she is as much to blame in this – whatever ​ ‘this’ ​ is – as he. But hindsight is 20/20 and right now, right at this very moment, all she feels is a little lighter. So when she catches his subsequent frown from her peripheral as she reads her question, Cami ignores it decidedly. “Panther, huh?... How come? And while we’re on it, are you telling me your spirit animal would be a ​ tabby cat ​ if the question wasn’t so specific?” She grins, setting the cue-card aside. “I’d be a bird… Not for the whole ​ wings of freedom thing ​.” She adds quickly, “Because of the vantage point… They see the world from the outside, see the whole picture..” The blonde trails off, flicking through the cue-cards in search of another as Klaus asks his own question.

There’s a laugh, a roll of her eyes despite her amusement. “Ready and willing. Problem isn’t how I feel, it’s finding an audience. I haven’t googled ​ ‘Miss Delusion 2017’ ​ so I’ve still got a shot.” The blonde shakes her head at him, takes another quick sip of her wine before clearing her throat. ​ “What quality is most important to you in a partner?” ​

Klaus: "I rather like to imagine myself on the top of the food chain. Plus, they are rather majestic creatures. I should think the metaphor is obvious, Camille," he drawled, humor seeping through into his words. He couldn't very well tell her he ​was​ that the top of the food chain, all of them in fact, and the majority of the comparison was based on their respective lethality. He couldn't help but read into her own choice. "So... you prefer distance? Keeping things–" ​people?​ "–at an arm's length?" Perhaps that was why he could practically feel the tension hovering between them. He had given her the distance she desired, and now that distance was forfeit. "Easy. Willingness to model for me. I paint, Camille. I wasn't asking about the industry, it was a more personal inquiry," he said rolling his eyes, albeit fondly.

Cami: "I doubt the bottom-feeders share your respect," She teased, mouth curving into a grin upon catching his eye-roll. "Somehow, I can't picture a gazelle looking up into the jaws of Death and thinking ​ 'wow, that's goals right there... ​ So ​ majestic." ​

Still, there's something about the way he speaks... The tone, the cadence, the way he chooses his words... She's always made for a rapt listener, but when it comes to Klaus it's effortlessly captivating. And so, the last bit of tension unwinds itself in her chest as the female leans back in her chair; content to watch him as he thought, as he spoke. "No! Not distance, I just... I just want to see it all simultaneously... Eagle-eye view. When you're on the same footing as everything else, you just see what's directly in front of you. Kinda like a horse with blinders. I wanna see the whole picture... All of it."

But Klaus leaves her second question unanswered and instead presses his own. And at that, Cami levels him with a deadpan look as if to say ​ "really?" ​ But when his own expression remains expectant and unchanged, her own facade begins to falter. "Seriously, Michelangelo?? Why me?" And she tries to play it off casual, but the way her eyes slide back to the glass between her fingers, the slight uptick in her heartbeat - indicate it's no such thing.

Klaus: "You'd be surprised," Klaus murmured in response, lips quirking secretively. Danger was seductive, and he had no problem making use of it. When the stakes (for him) were low, anyway. In situations like this, however, he couldn't help but make certain blonde bartenders with a knack for being in the wrong place at the right time, the gazelle in this situation. This did not leave a nice taste in his mouth. "Have you ever thought about whether or not you'd like what it was you found?" It was a serious question; one he had spent perhaps too much time thinking about, and one he was relatively sure Camille didn't take seriously enough.

​Why her?​ It was such a ridiculous question, Klaus refused to entertain it. "That counts as two additional questions, Camille." His grin continued to grow, his pleasure at the idea growing the more he thought of it. It had burst forth without much forethought, but now that it was in his mind, it had taken root. Of course, he didn't actually ​need​ her to sit for him in order to paint her, perhaps in oil crayon, or no– pastels rather, something soft and complicated and too easily smeared by a careless heavy hand. "Wouldn't be long depending on the medium. A sketch would take maybe twenty minutes. Less even." He wanted to tell her he could make it up to her, buy her dinner, buy her a ​city​, anything she wanted. But he wouldn't. She would not get dinner with him, and he would not ask. He knew how this story ended, and Cami deserved more.

Cami: The mischievous smile that mirrored his, dimmed a fraction when Klaus asked whether she'd ever considered the possibility of not liking what she discovered about the world through that newfound perspective. "Aaah... No. Not really, I guess. Isn't it always better to know?" She asked, her mind inevitably traveling to Sean. "Facts are facts, no matter what I think of them. Better to know than bury my head in the sand, right?" She didn't know why she sought the answer in his expression, but it only lasted so long before her own solemnity melted back into a smile.

Why Klaus would want to paint such a commonplace subject was well beyond her, and yet still, Cami couldn't deny that she felt a little flattered. And she hoped the colour rising in her cheeks could equally be attributed to the red wine, as to the request she was still turning over in her mind.

- ​ What the heck; what was the worst that could come from it? ​ - ​ ​ Unprof-essional... ​ ​ Another voice in her head sing-songed. - ​ Excuse to get into his headspace. [i/] The first corrected.

Downing the last of her wine, Cami set the glass back on the table, decisively. " ​ Fine. ​ I make no promises, but I'll consider it... How's that?" Her eyes danced with merriment as she continued. "Only if you answer my last question though... Then ​ maybe ​ I'll let you ​ draw me like one of your French girls. ​ " She deadpanned with a grin.

Klaus: Klaus simply looked at her, incredible in her naiveté. In the world in which he lived, knowing inevitably made people dead, with very few exceptions, and even those would get there soon enough. How marvelous, how ​quaint​, it must be for her to live in a world where knowledge actually ​did​ equal power. "Perhaps, for those who can afford it, ignorance actually can be bliss." He doubted Cami would count herself among those who could afford it, but she underestimated herself. Or perhaps ​over​estimated herself.

He answered her grin as she laid out her terms. He couldn't resist the chance to throw her off balance once more. His mixed signals couldn't have been stronger or more contradictory. It truly was best for her if he stayed away, and he ​had​ but it seemed Cupid had other plans because he had dropped her practically in his lap (he could not deal with that particularly mental image) and he had never been a model of self-restraint in the face of temptation. "I'd like to remember your face," he said simply, knowing how much weight those words carried. One way or another, if it took a day, a year or eighty, they would leave one another behind, and a simple painting would be all he had left to remember her by.

Cami: Cami couldn't help the way her features scrunched up into a visible - if somewhat childish - grimace at his words. "God, I don't think I've ever known an expression that I hated ​ more ​ than that one." She would've said more, but decided at the last moment that this wasn't the time and place for such a rant. "... Just- do me a favour and don't use that one on me, okay?" Not that he would if he was ever of a mind to continue their sessions; after-all, therapy was exactly the kind of place where one generally opened up. As usual, the faintest smile on his part only incited the brightest, most unabashed grin from her. It was an instinct she couldn't quite help; the muscles around her mouth were tugged up to mirror his as though connected by a string. "Take a picture; it'll last you longer. You still haven't answered ​ my ​ question, by the way. Most important quality in a prospective partner?" Cami wiggled the cue-card she was still holding between two fingers. "Asking for a friend," The blonde added, mirth dancing in her eyes. "Goodness knows you'll need all the help you can get, Picasso."

Klaus: It was uncomfortable, and entirely unwanted, the inkling of guilt he felt hearing that. ​Don't use that one on me​. He comforted himself with the knowledge that it was a luxury only the blissfully ignorant would ask for. If she knew what she was asking, she would want the freedom of a night's sweet dreams, of living her life without fearing for it every moment of every day. He was sparing her. She would thank him, if she knew. He frowned in earnest as she insisted he didn't answer her question. Were he not utterly unflappable, he might have blushed at the information he had just given away, and freely at that. Perhaps his cheeks were a bit warm. He scowled and drank his bourbon. "Picasso was rather something of a womanizer," he pointed out wryly as he considered her question, yet another question he dearly wanted to avoid. What ​was​ most important to him in a prospective partner? The idea of a partner at all seemed rather daunting... so abstract he couldn't honestly imagine it. ​You make me smile with my heart​. Partnership... what a strange word to use to refer to romance. And yet, he could see the appeal. Trust, camaraderie, intimacy, reciprocity... "Loyalty, I suppose," he answered, making his voice deliberately bored as he lounged in his seat, swirling the damned glass of bourbon he couldn't bring himself to finish. Loyalty sounded so... distant. So cold. And yet, what else did he really want? What else was of any use to him?

Cami: "Is that where the similarities begin or where they end between Klaus and Pablo?" Cami fired back, before she could think to filter it. She blamed it on the alcohol; whereas her date had barely touched his drink, she'd leaned on it like a crutch. And if not for slowing the racing thoughts in her mind, then the glass served as something with which to occupy her hands as she listened to him.

Still, Cami wished it was a notebook in her hand instead, and that it was appropriate to scribble his answers down for safe-keeping. Would she remember them later?... ​ Loyalty ​ . The simplicity of his answer surprised her. And she wanted to pry, to ask him about it but was deterred by the absolute disinterest in his body-language. Afraid that she was losing him, Cami took another quick sip of her drink before tossing the cue-cards aside on the table.

"Okay, you win. And I'll bite, so- " But the sound of a buzzer cut her off mid-sentence and made her look up in surprise, before her gaze dropped back down to meet Klaus' a few seconds later. "... Saved by the bell?" Cami suggested, with a wistful smile.

Klaus: "You tell me, Camille," he fired back before reticence had the chance to stop him. Honestly, Fate was testing his patience. He hadn't must practice being ​good​ but he was trying for this ridiculous woman, trying to keep her away from his own ill-advised desires, ​and she kept talking to him​. What was he supposed to do with that? Compel her to never open her mouth again? She was insufferably charming.

He couldn't decide if the buzzer was a curse or a godsend. It seemed the more time he spent in her company, the harder it was to remember why it was absolutely essential that he avoid her at all costs, and yet, he burned to know what she was going to say next. "Me, or you?" he quipped, quite seriously, already knowing the answer. Still, he paid no attention to the next person lining up to sit across from him as he stood. "I think I shall spare St. Valentine's victims my company for the rest of the evening." ​I need to leave. You need to leave. One of us should go. Let me walk you home. Dance with me, Camille​.

Cami: “I wouldn’t know.” She answered just as quick, holding his gaze level. It didn’t come off as bitter as she’d felt on the onset of the conversation, but there was still enough meaning tucked away behind those words. A ‘gotcha’ of sorts.

Give me a chance to figure you out. Give me a ​ c h a n c e .

But the therapist had a much more definitive answer when he asked whether the buzzer was saving him - or her. “You. I was just about to get the big guns out. You know; marriage and baby names.” Cami teased, although it was far from the truth. When she’d put aside those cue cards it was in order to take the plunge; address the elephant in the room - address the missed calls, the distance. But the buzzer had robbed her of her courage in one, fell swoop.

You. ​

“Anyway, I should- yeah, I- me too.” A quick nod, a smile as she wondered how exactly they were supposed to part. A handshake seemed stupid, and yet the repercussions of a hug seemed twice as stupid. “Besides, speaking of Casanovas…” Her gaze roamed towards one side of the room, where she’d locked eyes with Marcel not too long before the third round. A broad grin, a wink on his part. “There’s this ​ guy ​. ​ Marcel ​ . More likely to hold a karaoke mic than a paintbrush but no less persistent.” Despite her sarcasm, Cami’s smile was fond as she watched him chatting up some blonde, whose face was obscured from her vantage point. Her eyes snapped back to meet Klaus’ unreadable grays. “I think I’ll disappoint him a little while longer. Are you heading out?”

Klaus: Her quick riposte caught him off-guard, and he found it difficult to break her gaze. When he finally did look away, it felt like an actual splintering, a cracking in his soul. ​I wouldn't know​. And wasn't that exactly how he wanted it? Well done, mate, mission accomplished then. He snorted as she followed it up with marriage, of all things. "Marriage is a bit fast, don't you think, love? This was only our second date after all," he said, eyes locking back on hers, brow raised, anticipating the challenge. For a second, he thought she'd actually bite, and then...

​​"Marcel?"​​ A hot flash of slick, oily envy washed over him, catching in a quick clench of his jaw. First his sister, then his city, and now his... stenographer? Teeth grinding, finger tapping against his leg, he thought quickly. No, this was good. He could ​use​ this. To escape from his own ridiculous sentimentality, which was already proving to be a weakness, and to get the upper hand on Marcel, from the area he'd expect it to come from the least. In a flash he had Cami whisked into the small side room where guests were invited to store their jackets for the duration of the event. ​"Actually, Camille, you won't disappoint Marcel Gerard any longer," ​ he intoned, watching her eyes dilate as the compulsion wove its magic in her mind. ​"The next time he makes an advance, you will encourage him, and eventually accept."​ It was better this way, wasn't it? At least it was on his terms, now. ​He​ controlled this, he decided this. Camille couldn't walk away from him if she never had the chance. ​"You will report to me any information you learn from him about his rule of New Orleans, about the witch Davina, and what he has planned? You will tell no one of this, and you will not remember I asked this of you. Do you understand, Camille?"

Cami: “Hey, one date would’ve been enough to shock and scandalize most of my ancient ancestors...Yours too. Count yourself lucky.” A wink, as she got out of her seat and contemplated - for a second time - her goodbye. Handshake? Probably a stupid handshake. But he mentioned Marcel just as she went to offer him her hand. “Yeah, you know him? He’s-”

But before she could choose a fitting adjective, Klaus had grabbed her without a second’s notice and whisked her into the adjoining coatroom. “What are you-...” But then her voice trailed off as she looked up at him, the green of her irises all but disappearing as her pupils dilated. Seventeen seconds later, she nodded faintly, solemn and wide-eyed.

But in a blink, the order was forgotten, and Cami glanced around at her whereabouts before turning her gaze back onto Klaus in surprise. “Wow, sorry! I’m eager to get out, but I didn’t mean to chase your tail in here... Don’t flatter yourself.” She added, full lips twisting up into a grin although it didn’t fully reach her eyes. ​ How quickly had she moved?? Goodness. ​ Looking around, Cami spotted her blue coat and moved towards it. “So!... When will I be seeing you next?” She ventured, aiming for nonchalance as she dragged her coat off of its hook.

Klaus: He could see confusion in her eyes and ran his tongue over his teeth to rid his mouth of his distaste. It was done. Still, her next words through him off, and he hesitated, mouth opening to respond but finding that he didn't actually know how to answer. He couldn't let this charade of flirtation continue on, not when it wasn't a charade, not for him. And especially not when he had just delivered her into Marcel's waiting arms. And association with him would become suspect, and the thought of seeing her with Marcel... the distaste refused to be removed this time by a simple swipe of the tongue. Knowing it would be the last time he allowed himself such a luxury, he reached out and stroked his thumb over her cheek, the tips of his fingers curling into her hair. A human wouldn't be able to feel the way her pulse beat beneath her skin, but he felt it in his bones, and committed it to memory. Then turned around and walked away, this time, not even taking the advantage of vampiric speed to create distance. No, this time, he counted every step.

[touristguidebuzz]

You always think you have more time, until you don’t

It’s taken few weeks to find the words to write this. I debated whether to publish this, or keep it private. Obviously, you’re reading this because I decided to share this part of my world with you. Writing about this experience has been therapeutic. It has helped me come to terms with our loss and accept our new reality. To be clear, this post was written by Cameron.

You always think you have time, until you don’t.

If you follow us on Facebook or Instagram you may have heard the sad news.

My father passed away unexpectedly.

Needless to say, it’s been a very difficult few weeks.

About 1 minute after I published this post, my cell phone started ringing. The call display showed my brother’s name.

That’s not a good sign, I thought to myself. We rarely call each other, unless it’s serious.

“Dad’s gone”, he said. He was barely able to voice the words.

Time stood still. I had no words. My brain was not able to process what I was hearing. It felt like 10 minutes had passed before we spoke again, but in reality is was probably 10 seconds.

“What do mean, Dad’s gone?” I replied in disbelief.

My brother explained that he had gone to pick up Dad that afternoon to take him back to his house for Sunday dinner. What he found at Dad’s apartment has changed our lives forever.

I can’t imagine what my brother went through at that moment. He was the one who found my father. He was the one who called 911. He was the one who had to call each of us to tell us the unfortunate news.

It’s heartbreaking.

My dad lived alone. His health had been declining over the last few years, ever since his early retirement at 64 years old.

Last year, we moved him closer to my brother so that he would have more social time with family. He looked forward to those Sunday dinners with my brother and his family. He enjoyed sitting outside in the backyard, having a few beers and telling his stories to his grand-children.

My brother was my Dad’s best friend. He took care of him and made sure he felt safe and loved. I am so grateful that my brother lived close to him and that someone was checking on him every few days. My life is somewhere far away, so it gives me comfort knowing that he was not alone and that my brother was there for him.

Our summer visit to Lake Simcoe

The photo above has become one of my favourite photos. It was taken a few months ago, in late August of this year (2017). This was the last photo captured of my father. Of course, we had no way of knowing that when we took the photo, but we knew this photo was going to be special.

This was the first time all of the Wears boys were together at one time.

Sadly, it will also be the last.

We live in different parts of the country, so it’s difficult to get everyone together. There are also a couple of little ones who have joined the family in recent years.

My dad was an only child. There are now 7 boys who will carry on his name. That is what he is (was) most proud of; his children and grand-children.

That is his greatest legacy.

We decided to visit my family in Ontario this past summer because we wanted to bring everyone together. We wanted our young boys to get to know my Dad and my brother and his children. It felt very important.

I remember saying to Nicole, “I don’t know how much time we have with Dad, so we should rent a cottage this summer and spend time together, doing nothing but BBQ’ing and sitting in front of a campfire.”

So we booked a trip to Ontario instead of traveling to Europe, which was our original plan for the summer.

It was the right decision.

While the experience of visiting a new foreign country is important to us, so is spending time with family. Our boys need to know their cousins. They need to create childhood memories that include their family members.

My Dad’s passing has solidified the importance of not putting life on hold. 

We considered putting this trip on hold. We contemplated visiting him another time. Maybe next summer. We have time, right? Wrong.

I am so grateful for the experience we had this summer. I will now carry those memories with me forever.

I would have been devastated if I had put that trip on hold and did not see him.

The importance of family

When I received the sad news from my brother, I booked the next available flight to Toronto. My brother lives in Jackson Point on Lake Simcoe, which is about 1.5 hours north of Toronto. Fortunately, Vancouver to Toronto is a hot route so there are flights virtually every 30 minutes.

I had an epic meltdown in the security line at the airport. The overwhelming emotion was uncontrollable.

My sister was on the flight before me, so she arrived at the Toronto airport one hour before my arrival. She had stayed at the airport hotel the night before and was able to find a cottage rental that was located two blocks from my brother’s house. This was a very lucky find.

We drove to my brother’s house and had a tearful reunion. It was an intense 24 hours.

It still doesn’t seem real, almost one month later. But what has become very clear is the importance of family. It’s a statement we’ve all heard before, but it now has a much deeper meaning.

Aside from my grand-mother’s death a few years ago, I’ve been fortunate that most of my immediate family is alive and well. It was so nice to have them with me, to share the weight of this heavy experience.

We spent the evening together, trying to make sense of the overwhelming situation.

When we finally made it to the cottage it was late and dark.

“Is that water I hear?” said my sister. “I think we’re pretty close to the lake.”

That was an understatement.

When we woke up the next morning we couldn’t believe the location of this cottage. Look at the photo below. That’s the deck and the view of the lake. It was perfect.

Dad would have loved it there. We felt like he made this happen for us. He knew exactly what we needed at that moment – a place to be together, surrounded by nature.

Do you believe?

Let me start by saying that I am not a religious person. I’m not spiritual but I do believe there’s more to this universe than what we can see and touch. Death has an ironic way of revealing one’s belief (or disbelief) in the after life.

On the first morning at the cottage, I went down to the dock to be alone.

I sat on the edge of the dock with my feet dangling over the edge. The water was calm that morning. The sun was shining. It was quite warm – unusual for that time of year.

I looked up to the sky and asked my Dad to give me a sign. Something. Anything.

I needed to know he was okay. I needed to know he was still with me.

A few moments passed, but nothing came to me.

I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I knew that I would know – does that even make sense?

Just then, a beautiful monarch butterfly came into view. It was fluttering above the trees to my right. I focused on that butterfly and watched it’s movements intensely.

Doubtful thoughts came to mind. “That’s not it, keep looking”, I said to myself.

The butterfly came closer. When it was about 20 feet in front of me it turned slightly and the sun reflected off it’s wings. The light hit me right in the eyes. It was like a bright light flickering in front of me.

This has to be him?

I broke down in tears. A strange sense of calm washed over me. I wiped my eyes and opened them again. But the butterfly was gone. It had disappeared. I questioned whether that was actually him reaching out to me. Was I just looking for anything that appeared unusual?

Almost on queue, the butterfly reappeared and fluttered right in front of me.

Okay, Dad! Message received.

I walked back up to the cottage and helped prepare lunch for the kids. About 2o minutes had passed since my butterfly encounter. I had not shared the story with any one yet. I was still trying to process the experience.

“Uncle Cam, come look. There’s an injured butterfly on the dock. I think it’s hurt”, yelled my nephew.

I went down to the dock to see what he was talking about. I am pretty sure this was the same butterfly. At least, I think it was. Who knows, really?

The butterfly rested on the plate of food beside the kids. It did not move. It flapped it’s wings occasionally, but it just wanted to rest. The kids talked to the butterfly and tried to help it by giving it food and water. It was not afraid. In fact, it wanted to be there, with the kids.

The butterfly must have been there for over 30 minutes. We thought it was hurt and unable to fly. Why else would it just sit there, for 30 minutes. That is a long time for a butterfly to sit still. Then, without warning, it jumped off the plate and fluttered away.

I believe it was him. He was saying goodbye. He was sending a signal to all of us.

Later that day, I jumped on my phone and googled ‘what do butterflies symbolize’.

The first result read: ‘In early Christianity, the butterfly was a symbol of the soul. In China, it was used as a symbol of conjugal bliss and joy. … The exquisite butterfly was considered a miracle of transformation and resurrection. In the Old World, the connotation was negative; the butterfly was thought to be the spirit of the dead. … Its attraction to flame and light symbolize purification by fire. 

Wait. There’s more.

We decided to do an intimate celebration for Dad at the cottage. He did not want a formal funeral and the cottage had everything he would have wanted – a dock on the lake, a campfire, a big yard.

We had a campfire the night before. Right before going to bed, at around 11:00 PM, I poured a bucket of water over the amber coals.

The next morning I was outside cleaning the deck and getting the yard ready for our guests. I cleaned the fire pit and pushed some of the black-burned wood to the middle of the pit. I stacked the wood and kindling around the fire pit and got it ready. That way there would be one less thing to do when people arrived.

That was at 9:00 AM.

We expected our guests to arrive at 2:00 PM.

I remember looking at my watch around 2:00 PM and thinking, ‘everyone should be arriving soon’.

At 2:20 PM I looked at the fire pit and couldn’t believe what I witnessed. On the corner of the wood pile was a single flame, about 2 inches tall.

“Did you light the fire?” I asked my sister.

“No. Why?” she replied.

“Because there’s a flame on the side of the fire!”

I called everyone over to the fire pit and asked if they lit the fire.

Nobody had touched it.

I took the above photo because I didn’t think anyone would believe this story. Heck, I’m still not sure I believe it. Look at the bottom of the stacked wood – do you see that small flame on the black wood?

We looked at each other with suspicion. How did the flame start?

Was it the old coals re-igniting? Probable. But it had been over 5 hours since I set up the wood pile. Why did it start at that exact moment?

I’ll tell you why.

Because Dad wanted the party to get started at it was already after 2:00 – so let’s get going already!

We laughed and then went back to doing what we were doing. I looked back at the fire about a minute later and the flame was gone. It disappeared. I put my hand over the wood to see if it was still hot. It was not. I touched the log where the flame was – it was cold and dry, just like the other pieces of wood.

Spooky? You bet!

I’ve got one more for you.

Nicole and the boys joined us in Ontario a few days after I arrived. She had to travel with the boys by herself and it was a VERY early morning flight from Vancouver to Toronto (3:00 AM wake up time – not fun).

I called her the night before and asked if she was okay.

“I’m a little nervous”, she said.

Totally understandable. Flying with two young boys is not easy.

The next morning, while at the airport waiting at the gate to board the plane, Nicole ran into one of our close friends. He’s one of my old friends from Ontario. We both live in Vancouver now, but we met back in high school when I lived in Ontario with my Dad.

Not only was he on the SAME flight, he was seated DIRECTLY beside Nicole!

What are the odds?

We’ve been on hundreds of flights and we’ve never ran into close friends on the same flight. The fact that he was seated right beside Nicole is highly unusual. She had seat C and he was seat D – same row. Is that not unbelievable?!

This meant that she had another pair of hands to help during the flight. It also gave her company to help the time pass. I’m thankful he was there to support her.

I’m convinced this was my Dad’s doing. What do you think?

You always think you have time, until you don’t.

When big life changes happen it’s natural to reflect on your life.

For some, the life changing event sparks the motivation to chase their dreams and stop putting life on hold. We had a similar experience when we decided to quit our jobs and travel the world for a year, back in 2009.

We embraced the reverse retirement plan – travel while you’re young and physically able, instead of waiting until retirement or when you have more money. Those days may never come. My Dad was only 3 years into his retirement before his untimely passing.

This experience has had the opposite effect on me.

I have no desire to travel right now. I don’t feel the need to climb mountains or take over the world. We canceled our trip to China (we would actually be on the long flight to Shanghai right now, as I type these words).

Instead, I want to be with our family and friends right now. I want to take our boys swimming at the local wave pool and go hiking in the forest near our house. I want to pick them up from school and day care. I want to watch Saturday morning cartoons in bed and play board games. I want to watch movies and eat popcorn in our living room.

I guess what I’m really saying is that I want to be a great father, husband, brother, son and friend. And that’s really hard to do if I’m always somewhere else.

I’m sure these feelings of being overly domesticated will pass in a few months. It won’t be long before I’m dreaming of traveling somewhere exotic. But, in the meantime, I’m going to enjoy the life we’ve created here in Vancouver.

I suppose the underlying message is – don’t let fear or a busy schedule or lack of money stop you from achieving your goals. AND, it’s okay if those goals are simple, like spending quality time with your family or going hiking with friends who you haven’t seen in a long time. Do what feels right.

You only have one life to live – so live it!

Is there something you’ve been thinking about doing for a long time, but you’ve continued to put it on hold?

Maybe it’s a trip to Europe or an epic adventure in the mountains?

Maybe it’s a personal goal, like running a marathon or losing weight or learning a new sport?

What is preventing you from taking action? What can you do TODAY to put things in motion?

Don’t forget about those who are most important to you.

When was the last time you called your parents?

Call them. Right now.

When was the last time you spent time with your close friends?

Plan something with them. Right now.

When was the last time you hugged your loved ones and told them how important they are to you?

Do that. Right now.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking there will always be more time.

To those of you who have lost a parent – I now understand.

I thought I understood before, but I really had no idea. Unfortunately, you must go through this awful experience to truly understand it. I empathize with you. I share your pain.

I feel like I’ve joined a club that nobody wants to join – but it’s a club filled with compassionate, caring, understanding and supportive people. I am forever grateful and thankful for the kind words you have shared during this difficult time.

It has helped me in ways I cannot express.

Goodbye, Dad.

I miss you you every day. I think of you every hour.

I promise to honour your legacy by being the best father I can be.

I promise to make sure that my boys always feel safe and loved, as you did with us.

I promise to keep your stories alive by sharing them with your grand-children.

I’m still trying to comprehend a world without you, but I feel your presence with me every day. You will always be with me, forever and ever.

I love you, Dad.

  You always think you have more time, until you don’t is a post from: Traveling Canucks

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