#irken technology

[amyisherenowitsokay]

Here's an interesting one. How do you balance and deal with the deus ex machina situation of Irken technology? Even in the show, said technology is ridiculous. Seems like it'd be far too easy to shoot plot in the foot if there's absurdly simple (even if they're ''but wait, what if'' or something) solutions.

Both how do you muse, plan and construct it in your writing but also how did you figure it out for re:mhny 1? Additionally, any personal headcannons you brewed up? Favourite canon or personal technologies?

I enjoy answering these, tysm for sending them in.

(Long answer under the cut)

My general attitude towards Irken technology is to make sure everything either has a purpose or a punchline.

For example, in re:mhny1 I totally could have had Zim be able to whip out some magic space-crowbar that's regularly used to pop off malfunctioning PAKs, or have it exist but have him have trouble trying to get his hands on it, etc.

The easiest route I take and/or my headcannon is that Irken technology is by and for IRKENS, not people, and therefore cannot be used for people. Irken technology is much more advanced in the IZ universe, even with Membrane's contributions to humanity. They're extremely adept at war, fighting, infiltration, and anything that could cause general harm (such as giant water balloons to throw at your enemies' heads from space). But re:mhny1 didn't need weapons of war, it needed medical aid. And not just any medical aid, but medical aid to a human. It's the reason Zim struggled to monitor Gaz's vitals, but was able to tear through Valkian security.

The only things Irkens build for other species is shock collars, chains, etc. Everything else is for them and them only. In the same way some of our medicine is lethal to animals, so is Irken medicine, but unlike people, Irkens would never see a point to trying to make accommodations or equivalently-effective technology or medicine. If Zim had been faced with let's say Skoodge with a broken PAK, even excluding the expertise I gave Skoodge in this fic, Zim probably would've been able to pop it off in a couple hours. Maybe a day, max.

I sort of touched on this explicit theme in re:mhny1, but essentially the way I handle it is keeping that theme of compatibility and usefulness in mind. Zim had plenty of ways to monitor and x-ray Gaz, but sometimes they were finicky and insufficient, such as in chapter 6. Chapter 6 was basically me wanting to sip on that good fanservice juice, but it's also got a perfect example of justifiable technological limitations when utilized for cross-species application.

"Her monitoring bracelet was sending only the bare minimum signals. It was a wonder he hadn't noticed sooner how insufficient the data was. The device was calibrated to the much more simplistic, refined information of an Irken. Humans, unfortunately, had so many squishy bits and thumping bobs that it was impossible to evaluate their well-being. Not with this little data, anyways.

So that really covers the 'purpose' section of 'purpose and punchline.' For punchline, chapter 4 has a good example and also has one of my favorite pointless gags with Zim's weird chair:

". . . Do you mean a seesaw?"

Basically I'm much more free with technology if I think it'd make a good running joke, but otherwise I utilize Zim's tech as tools to aid or progress the storyline. I knew I wanted Gaz to get stuck with a PAK for a prolonged period of time, and I also knew I wanted Larb's memories to trickle into Gaz's consciousness. I wanted her to have understandings of Irken culture without Zim uncharacteristically revealing everything and anything, and also to late create the conflict between them in Chapter 11, when Gaz is privy to Zim's most closely guarded secret about his Defectiveness. To achieve that, I broke the PAK, and also made it possible to delete the consciousness and create an empty shell. Additionally, this further aids the story since the lack of a host personality leads to the discovery that Gaz has more control of it in emergency situations, and let's her go full fight mode in the finale chapters.

Basically, if it's not going to contribute, then I don't even bother bringing it up or mentioning its existence to keep readers from pondering "why don't they just use xyz?"

If I had to explicitly pick a favorite piece of technology, I think it'd have to be the PAK legs and/or PAktcles, when they're more flexible and prehensile. The PAK itself is cool, but the spider-crawly-laser-stabby-grabby-grip qualities of them are unparalleled in their coolness. They're so fun to work with from a narrative perspective. Those aren't really my headcannon since they ARE just cannon qualities, but I guess it could be argued that my utilizations for them are sometimes unique? Ish? Lmao.

If Irken technology can do ANYTHING, then it can also bend to my will. Hehehehe.

[zootzar]

Dib stop tweeting about zim

OG listed below

[legofemme]

Beez propoganda

[inbarfink]

So the thing about Tak’s Holo-Disguise is that it specifically might not be an example of Tak using more advanced technology than Zim.

The implication in “The Nightmare Begins” is that Zim maybe also have access to Perfectly Realistic Human Disguises, probably similar to Tak’s Hologram - but he intentionally rejected them because he saw them as too ugly. He deliberately chose his shitty little costume because he thought that was the only one that looked ‘good’.

And these terrible disguises are also pretty consistent with how the actual official Invaders disguise themselves. If anything, Zim’s got the best costume of the lot!

So with Zim dismissing the more realistic disguises as being ‘ugly’ and ‘stinky’ and those being… basically the most common insults he throws at humans. ..I think the implication here is pretty clearly that Zim’s (and the actual Irken Invaders’) disguises are bad because he doesn’t want to look too human because Irken Imperial Indoctrination has taught him every other species in the universe is revolting and so he cannot stand the idea of looking too match like the people he is trying to infiltrate.

So it is interesting that the one Irken who actually uses their advanced technology to actually look like another species is Tak. Maybe she’s just being a bit of a show-off overachiever. So driven by the need to prove how competent of an Invader she can be she decided to suffer through the indignity of Using a Competent Disguise. 

Or maybe there’s sort of an implication that Tak doesn’t really buy into Irken Ideology that much?

Like, obviously, she’s not, like,  some sort of anti-Imperial pro-alien advocate or anything. She’s still trying to gain the respect of the Tallest, she still wants to become an Invader, she is still willing to sacrifice an entire planet in order to achieve her goals. 

I’m thinking more, like, Zim is 100% a true believer in Irken Imperial Ideology. He wants to be an Invader at least in part so he could use his ‘amazingness’ to contribute to the conquests of the Irken Empire. And he legitimately believes the Tallests are superior beings worthy of his admiration. And he legitimately believes Irkens are superior to all other sapient beings in the universe in general and to humans especially.

Meanwhile, Tak’s main goals might just be to gain as much power and prestige as she can - no matter what or who stands in her way. If she lived in a society that valued dentists above all she would’ve become a dentist. But she was born in the Irken Empire, and the most prestigious not-height-dependent position available to her in Irken Society is the one of an Invader, so that’s what she dedicated her life to. Not out of any ideological commitment to help the Empire's conquests.

She tries to gain the Tallests’ favor because she knows she needs them to get ahead in life, not necessarily because she craves their tall, superior approval the way Zim does. She can kill a lot of non-Irkens on her way to ‘greatness’, but it’s more of a general callousness towards other people - rather than loyalty to the superiority of the Irken people. 

That might also explain why she’s the one Irken with the sense of individuality to customize her uniform

And design her own version of the Irken Empire Flag, based on her own look.

Because maybe she’s not trying to serve the Irken Empire, maybe she’s just trying to serve Tak.

[leravat-lat]

The plot is as follows, Zim is a human spy who works for the "human coalition", they learned about Irken technology and sent Zim to join their team and steal their technology to conquer the universe.

Invader Dib, the only one who understands that zim is not an Irken and tries to stop him

[ms-scarletwings]

Frightsome realization brought to me by the beginning of the Planetjackers episode.

Zim’s telescope, all the way from Earth, mind you, couldn’t just search for and fix onto other known planets in the Empire’s range, couldn’t just find the base of the local irken spy, but was in fact able to lock onto the current, exact position of other invaders themselves.

Every single one of them is wired into a database to the point of being able to immediately check one’s encoded job and identity from a quick scan. Of course they’d have the technology and the foresight to have PAKs constantly log and update intergalactic GPS data to their fleet databanks. That’s how Sizz Lorr dropped in on Zim at the Skool. That’s how the guards black-bagged him in order to bring him to Judgementia for his trial. Hell, it probably might even be part of how Tak found him.

Every irken invader, if not every Irken soldier, can be tracked and observed at any time by the empire. Some form of cracking this network may even be the method through which Zim obsessively checks in on the Tallests and where The Massive’s been lately.

But more worryingly, for Irkens at least, this would mean that permanently deserting and evading the empire is effectively impossible so long as there exists some Irken authority willing to put in the effort to chase you down. There is no corner of the universe where their criminals could find a lasting peace of mind. It also adds some more potential context behind their ubiquitous loyalty to their leadership, or why to Zim’s perception, there is no third option after success or being as good as a dead man.

[verm1c1de]

Zims entire personality is completely fabricated

Let me explain.

Zim, as we know him, is just a mask made up by.. well, Zim.

Zim doesn’t exist.

Because Zim, at his most genuine, loves.

And Zim is not supposed to love.

It’s been thrown around throughout the entire course of the series that Zim is, in fact, a very intelligent individual. Moreso than irkens, renowned technology-thieves, are known to be. It’s for this fact, that it would make sense, that Zim would not be completely ignorant of how the rest of Irken society views him.

The defect, the worst irken to ever exist, et cetera.

There’s no way to be that obtuse about your own infamy, and if there is, there’s enough hints and clues in the series to allow viewers to come to the conclusion that Zim isn’t unaware of it all.

And no, this is not a “Zim is a genius and knows absolutely everything” post. He’s definitely gullible. He absolutely has the worst priorities, he doesn’t know when to quit, too stubborn and set in his own beliefs, but he does Know a lot more than he lets on.

Multiple instances of Tallest Purple nearly revealing the truth about Zim’s mission or being too careless with his words are brushed away, either spoken over by Red or ignored completely by Zim, as if he didn’t hear it at all. Similarly, Sizz-Lorr exists as tangible evidence of everything wrong with Zim’s falsified identity as an invader. He shows up for one episode and that episode introduces some of the most important building on Zim’s coding and the consequences derived from his destructive actions on Irk. And his response to this, is to flat out deny it. Because with Purple, he has the expectation to not be aware. With Sizz-Lorr, everything he’s done is laid out in front of him, forcing him to acknowledge it. He won’t.

Zim, at his most genuine, is paranoid.

Paranoid enough to fabricate an entire personality from nothing after having the entirety of Irken knowledge downloaded into his PAK, only minutes after having been freed from his tube.

Zim is a bootlicker. Zim couldn’t care less about the Tallest. Zim seeks absolution from the Tallest because he knows that he was Made Wrong and that the things he’s done are unforgivable, but he can’t help himself. Zim only goes out of his way to gain their attention because he knows that’s what the average irken desires. All of these are true.

Zim is only drawn to invading in the most superficial way possible for an irken. He enjoys the idea of invading, not because it is personally "appealing" to him in any sense of the word, but because he knows that it is for others. It's an esteemed title. An invader gets to have respect. An invader gets to be addressed directly by the Tallest.

Being an invader is the best thing. Not for him, but for his act.

He needs the act. The act will save him from his imperialistic society. The act is the worst thing to ever happen to him.

Zim is nothing without it. He’s nothing with it.

He hates the act.

(“Hey, you’re a worse flier than I am!”)

And it’s very, very likely that he hates himself because of it. Much more than anyone else could ever hate him, because their hate for him is as superficial as his allegiance to the Empire is.

Zim does not fit in on Irk because Irk doesn’t need a Zim. Irk doesn’t need an irken soldier whose sole identity is to destroy.

Which is why Zim fits in so much better on Earth as its villain. On Earth, he gets to be a part of the story, not a fool that has to force himself on stage to even have some semblance of a spotlight.

Zim was already firmly set into his role before arriving to Earth; but coming there, and meeting Dib, further instills Zim with the drive to keep it up. Dib exists to be a hero, after all! And heroes need their villains. Zim fits into that role perfectly. And of course Zim, being nothing BUT a role, is drawn to it. He'll feed into Dib's alien obsession because Dib's alien obsession fits into Zim's "character". The big bad guy that needs to be fought against.

Which makes sense.

If he's the big bad that everyone hates, he doesn't have to worry about wondering if anyone loves him, because he knows they don't.

His first words were “I love you.”

The Zim we know does not love.

The Zim we know is nothing but an elaborate, one-irken act, stuck playing the same role in the same show for as long as he draws it out for.

One which would collapse if anything ever brought attention to it.

this post would not have been made without the help of @short-and-ugly and @animatorfun. seriously. like they wrote it. they were my editors.

this is NOT a headcanon post, im for realsies. this is metatextual analysis. i genuinely believe this is what zims character is supposed to be ((even if not necessarily intentionally))

[paulkleestan]

More Random Invader ZIM facts!

Jhonen was only 22 when contacted by Nickelodeon to make a series for older children, specifically one that could recreate the success the network had with Ren and Stimpy as the network felt it was losing the “edge” it used to have

Ms. Bitters is in her 50s. She looks old because the show is supposed to be seen through the eyes of Dib/other children

ZIM, like Gaz, is a gamer but is generally terrible at them and a sore loser

ZIM was originally going to hug and kiss TAK’s hand in the “romance” montage of TAK: The Hideous New Girl but Jhonen took it out because he didn’t want viewers to think he actually liked her (sorry ZATR fans)

Jhonen had to fight with the Nickelodeon higher ups to keep Dib’s trenchcoat in after the Columbine massacre made them controversial

The PAK that Irkens have comes from Jhonen’s own habit of wearing a backpack everywhere

IRKENS TYPE IN ALL CAPS WHEN USING THE LATIN ALPHABET

Gaz was never intended to be “goth”. That’s why her outfit changed dramatically when the comics started - Jhonen wanted her to be a gamer first and foremost

ZIM’s eye color was originally purple

TAK was conceived as a parody of self-insert Irken OCs on the internet who are commonly paired with ZIM or Dib

Dib’s personality was based on Jhonen as a kid while ZIM’s personality consisted of Jhonen’s self-perceived worst personality traits as an adult

Irkens don’t need to eat as their energy source is in their PAKs. They eat snacks purely for recreation.

ZIM is ambidextrous

Most of the technology the Irkens use was developed by Vortion engineers, not Irkens

[acidakerizo-47]

Tak and Dib being friend? I kinda like that them get along because their 'hate' on Zim and bully Zim together sometimes

uuuuuuuuuuuh... yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaah....

Tak after her return to Earth tried to arrange another plan, using and deceiving Dib first...

but Zim didn’t like it and they often quarreled with each other (and continue to quarrel bc Zim is in jealously for Dib)

in any case after Tak was exposed she decided to get along on this planet and also became friends with the Membrane family (but not with Zim cuz he doesn't trust her)

Dib often communicates with Tak discussing Zim from his interest to get to know him better and Tak also teaches Dib Irken language and grammar, also they love sometimes to work with Irkens technology and improving the space technology while Zim is trying to take Dib's attention to himself (bc of this fact most often Tak working with technology with Gaz than Dib)

Tak often tries to communicate with Dib in order to get to know Gaz and Professor Membrane better, and she also interested in his relationship with Zim bc she has never seen Zim so actively interact with somebody before and she found it educational for herself and as part of the study of “defective" irkens and sometimes asks for help in some “Earth” things

Simply: Tak for Dib and Dib for Tak is like a good friend and interlocutor with a good mind

one problem Tak didn't interested in paranormal things unlike Zim where her with Dib relationship are limited.

also Dib likes Mimi and Zim jealous him even to this lol

[milky-oatmeal18]

designs for my take on a species swap au

a little short summary of it:

instead of the swollen eyeball its the "take over earth club" (dorky name but what do you expect from red and purple) instead about hunting the paranormal, its just kinda a dorky club, where people who hate everything around them team up and plan to over throw or to cause riots for fun and what not, dib is a irken scientist and comes to earth to study the materials there, and to have a safe hide out to make weapons and technology for the tallest (prof membrane) though he gets distracted by the cryptids there on earth, finding them way more interesting than his mission, zim is some rowdy kid who instead of hating things around him just wants to take over the world, he doesn’t suspect dib until dib openly uses his tech outside the skool, zim wants to take dibs weapons and take over earth with them, stuff like that, zims brother red finds zim very annoying and tries to exclude him from the club, giving him fake missions like to steal supplies from the skool or just stupid things, gir is purples brother and spends a lot of time with zim cause purple leaves gir to zim to babysit him, gaz was one of the soldiers who guarded the labs that dib worked at and was sent to “watch over” him (she doesn’t really care about him cause she knows he can do things by himself) tak is a member of the TOE club, and tries her best to do the most for red and purple and what not, sort of the same in the show

zim is 16 and dib is 17

gir is 8

gaz and tak are 15

red and purple are 18 and 19

I’ll add more to this or fix some things once I have a set story, this is just a summary to what I have right now!!!

[somemsifan]

my au! zim works in membrane labs!

it all just kinda started when zim started coming over to dib’s more

professor membrane has noticed that „dibs little foreign friend” has quite a brain for science, so after about 2 months of monitoring him and his knowledge about technology he asked zim if he wanted to work with him in membrane labs cuz he knew that it would be easier for zim to work with him than to pressure dib into it. Zim was hesitant at first but saw this as an apportunity to spend more time on hit irken technology aswell so he agreed.

Not long after he was introduced to the whole world as a partner to professor membrane in his studies, of course many of professor’s fans knew that zim had some sort of relationship with dib and made it a running joke that zim and dib were dating (and they were, just not now)

if you want to know more about this au feel free to ask me questions!

[spacegoathours]

OHMYTALLEST THAT’S MY GIRL!!! 😭 AAAAA she looks amazing!!!! brb completely losing my mind over this 💙💚💙

Callie for @ligbi !! Thanks again for finding that animatic♡

[the-irken-luxray]

More doodles of the meta voice/fail text. Torn between keeping coming up with an actually unique design for them and keeping them as a generic stick figure ghost but no mouth. Except I've been struggling with coming up with an actual design for them.

I like the latter option because it's almost... symbolic? Iconic, but also generic; emotive and witty yet unable to be seen or heard by anyone... But that's a ramble for another day.

IDs under the cut

ID: A variety of doodles of a fan-made personification of The Henry Stickmin Collection's fail text, drawn in light blue (except in one case, where they are drawn in black for easier visibility). The persona is a mouthless but otherwise generic stick figure that is free floating, as though they are a ghost or phantom. All images have a watermark for the-irken-luxray.

ID 1:

The fail screen for the wormhole rifle option from Stealing the Diamond, which reads:

"I'm surprised you weren't able to get down there with that amazing portal technology. It's pretty strange how those portal guns work. I mean it combines the top scientific processes of our time. The portal gun contains a flux quantum generator which propels energy blasts with energy volumes of 4.23 GW with an average speed of 25 m/s. this speed is most effective because it allows the energy to be conserved while still maintaining a speed that is appropriate. The external plastic coating on the portal gun is constructed of a high polymer fireproof carbon fiber. This prevents the intense energy of the portal gun from burning the hands of the user. The intense energy causes intense heat. Oh by the way if you want an achievement click here. I've heard that scientists still do not know what happens if two portals are placed on top of one another. The last time that was attempted... Well I'm sure you heard about it on the news."

Five doodles of the fail text persona surround the screenshot, meant to be the fail text at various points in time. The top left holds a hand to its chin; the top right holds up a finger with their eyes closed, as though explaining the complex topic presented in the screenshot; the mid-left lays on their stomach while kicking their legs, as though excitedly rambling the info presented in the screenshot; the mid-bottom points to the word "here" in the screenshot; and the bottom right has their eyes closed while waving a hand dismissively in the other direction.

To the right of the screenshot and five doodles is a motion-blurred sketch of Henry Stickmin (drawn in black, to distinguish him as being physically present). A speech bubble pointing to Henry contains the Bugs Bunny "For the love of god please help me" meme.

ID 2:

A fail screen for one of the timeout options in Infiltrating the Airship, showing a closed metal door. The fail text reads: "Ok, ok! No more quick time events!" and, in smaller text, "How's your head by the way?"

Two doodles of the personified fail text overlay the drawing (drawn in black instead of blue for better visibility). The first is wiping away a tear and holding their other hand to their stomach as though they were laughing hard, and the second one shows mild concern for Henry (who is unseen).

ID 3:

A screenshot from Infiltrating the Airship with Henry glaring at the camera while holding the teleporter. A doodle of the fail text persona holds out a thumbs up. Text with an arrow pointing to the doodle reads "knows there's like an 80% chance of some shit going wrong".

ID 4:

A fail screen for the G.A.B.E.N. option from Infiltrating the Airship, which reads:

"error: stack overflow

"System.IO.FileNotFoundException:

"Could not find file C:\Program Files\HL3\G.A.B.E.N..dll

"Dump cache;"

Next to the screenshot is the fail text persona, but with smaller, circular eyes that are filled with television static. The stick figure is glitched in multiple places and has a chromatic aberration/"3D glasses" effect.

ID 5:

The fail screen for the Dark Energy Bomb option in Infiltrating the Airship, which has no fail text. Two doodles of the mouthless stick figure are to the left. The first holds up a hand with a bent finger, looking distraught. The second lowers its hand while looking away, looking sympathetic as well as distraught.

Text below reads "(was going to make a joke but a 10yo's dad just fucking died)"

ID 6:

Three miscellaneous doodles of the fail text persona. The left has its hand below its chin in a thinking expression. The middle has its eyes closed and is shrugging. The right is looking downward and pointing at something beneath them.

End ID.

[inbarfink]

So here is a thing that I noticed going over the sort of weird expressions that Zim uses in canon. When Zim doesn’t know the human term for something, he will make up some bizarre word combination of his own… but he will hardly ever substitute an Irken term for it. You know, when he first comes to Earth, he doesn’t call Human children ‘smeets’, he calls them ‘worm-babies’. He doesn’t assume the Earth is controlled by a Tallest, he just calls President Man ‘the Earth Leader’. 

And that… makes sense, Irk is a spacefaring empire which clearly had contact with other alien civilizations for a very long time. Zim would have some frame of reference to know that, for example, Vortians don’t call their children ‘Smeets’ and therefore he has no reason to assume the distant alien planet he just landed on would use that term either. I mean, yeah, Zim is often irrational - but that’s one point where he is surprisingly reasonable…. Well, until he needs to think up what he assumes the proper inconspicuous earth term would likely be and comes up with the most ludicrous option available.

And sometimes, and especially later on in the series, it’s clear that he does know what the Correct Earth Term is but is just looking for an excuse to insult humanity again by using a derogatory term he made up. 

And, like, you know… yeah, it is actually kinda obvious why he wouldn’t use the Irken term in that context. He thinks Irkens are inherently superior to humanity. Calling human children ‘Smeets’ would be comparing them to Irken children which would be a compliment to the ‘filthy humans’ that he would not be able to stomach. And like, I know a lot of ‘Alien Among Us’ stories get a lot of their comedy from, y’know, cultural differences and assumptions clashing. But I would argue that while IZ does that sometimes, a lot of Invader Zim’s comedy is actually based on Zim’s immediately assuming Earth Culture has to be as alien to Irken Culture as possible, when they are actually not so different. 

But also I want to take a moment to address the one time where Zim does seemingly uses an Irken term for a human, and that’s when he address the McMeaties clerk guy as ‘Burger Lord’ in ‘Germs’4

Which is probably related to the Irken title for a high-ranking frycook being ‘Frylord’.

But that actually makes sense both in the sense of, like... this term is in use on Foodcourtia, and Foodcourtia, although clearly a part of the Irken Empire, is frequented by many different alien species. So due to the planet's importance as a galactic center for fast food, the term ‘Frylord’ and its derivatives have spread beyond the Irken Empire. Or maybe it was an alien term to begin with and it spread into Foodcourtia through its non-Irken customers. Whatever it is, Zim would at least have a reason to think this might be a universal term and not an Irken-specific thing.

And also, this is a rare occasion where Zim is kinda, like, trying to genuinely get on the good graces of a human and is treating human technology (SPACE MEAT) with an unusual amount of respect - and he just doesn’t really have the mental focus to start condescending to him right now. So kinda reflexively using an unusually respectful Irken term for a mere Human Fast Food Worker makes sense considering his emotional state. He’s probably too germ-panicked to remember he’s not supposed to remember his time in Foodcourtia as well. 

Like, yes, I am aware I am probably looking too deeply into the continuity of this one line. “Germs” and “The Frycook of What Came From All That Space” are so far apart in the timeline that the actual writers probably weren’t thinking about this, right? I just think it’s Cool that one can fit this little ‘Burger Lord’ detail so neatly and so consistently into the lore and with Zim’s characterization.

[messinwitheddie]

Since the new paks. Why does Kii and the other three tallest still wear the ones on their chest?

Hitz/ the Red Control Brain "I will explain.

The PAK model it is familiar with was not equipped to the irken masses until AFTER my fellow towering tallests and I ascended into the core collective of our control brain vessels. The back and chest PAK combination devices were the last upgrade to the ultimate PAK design before I perfected the technology.

The modern PAKs all Irken drones are equipped with at birth are of MY design. It took centuries of research, experiments, quality tests, but I eventually crafted an easily manufactured military grade single device PAK that could perform all essential functions and enhancements, perfectly sync with Soxx's control brain tech AND upgraded the irken form to the next step in evolution.

It certainly must be in awe at the perfection of our empire's design.

[ms-scarletwings]

This Single Oversight Will Bring Irken-Kind to Its Knees

I have a little riddle for you.

What does an ant nest, a computer, and the ancient city of Troy have in common?

While you ponder the significance of this question and consider your answer, there’s a few things I want to analyze about the worldbuilding of Invader Zim.

We may have heard it said before, least I have (and agree), that the fate of the IZ universe appears to be a rather bleak picture.

Through our lens of focus, being upon Earth and an oh-so specific nutball waging his battle upon humanity, we often don’t do as much thinking about the larger cosmic war taking place meanwhile. Not between the Meekrob and Tenn, not between the Tallest and every dumb luck threat they are thrown against, but between the Irken Armada and all life in the entire universe, sentient or not.

Their intentions will not be made any more clear, between outright eradication or eventual enslavement of every lifeform they set their sights on. While they have alliances and neutral treaties, those agreements seem few and far between, as well as born from temporary conveniences. The cards have already been dealt, and all available evidence has indicated that every planet they are aware of is doomed from the moment The Massive was operational.

Though littered with inefficiencies and incompetency that could suggest an empire in internal decline, the development of the control brains and other centralized command crutches of the species suggests the Irkens can still keep a well oiled machine running, no matter how many mishaps happen along the way. At least, that machine and their plundered resources will definitely outlast the survival of their enemies, for sure.

To speak of their enemies, there has not been a single competitive race within the show that demonstrates any credible threat to Operation Impending Doom II- only those that can resist the conquest a little bit longer than others, or those who survive by appeasing Irk (or evading its detection). The fall of Vort, which stood as the homeworld of the only aliens with the technological ability to match the armada’s firepower is…. Really bad news. That’s to say the least of comparatively primitive, TINY planets like Earth or Blorch, standing zero chance in the way of what’s eventually coming. This is a war that has continued despite the death of two.. FOUR Almighty Tallests if you follow the movie’s events… and Irkens wholly are still thriving for it across the Galaxy.

So, given all of these facts, and the perception that the Irkens (like any invasive species or colonial force) don’t seem to be a society that will make responsible and/or sustainable use of their ill-gotten territory… it seems like this is how life across the universe ends in Invader Zim one day: Not with a bang, not with the whimper of heat death, but through screams muffled under the bloody boots of a dominant predator- a predator that is, itself, doomed to cannibalize its own once it hits the carrying capacity of all existence.

Bleak, concrete, and horrific as that may sound, there’s still a “however” here to consider!

Yep, that’s me about to point one of my big fat fingers to the sky and protest- Irk just might be,

Not so Undefeatable, after all!

And not only have I figured out exactly what sort of countermeasure you need to destroy these invaders, I have reason to suspect it’s a plan already long ago set into motion.

Let’s break it down,

An Irksome Achilles’ Heel

True, individually, the bug bastards are irritatingly tough to kill through conventional means. True, collectively, they are nigh impossible to outmatch. And more than most anything else, they owe this tenacity to two things: numbers, and R&D. Possessing some of most state of the art pinnacles in transportation, communications, and military equipment, the Armada found a knack for being able to steamroll most lesser planets before it.

The genius of the individual PAK unit grants each and any one Irken a theoretical path to partial immortality itself, by route of consciousness archiving. I strongly believe that kind of cybernetic progress was also one of the stepping stones that led to the creation of the Control Brains. Nonetheless, this very same strength of the Irkens’ has also proven to be the source of their greatest vulnerability.

Paks, Paks… Oh Paks. The entire race’s civilization revolves around such technology the way we do around our own brains, our own hearts, and our communicative network. For all intents and purposes, and as I’ve gone on about ad nauseum in my other spills about the show, a PAK is all and at once

• Synonymous with the holder of their soul, consciousness, being, whatever you want to call their personhood.

• Able to have their data repurposed by future generations, in the result of an Irken’s permanent death.

• A universal necessity shared by the entire population.

• Susceptible to alterations, sometimes by intelligent enough individuals (as demonstrated by the Zimvoid comic arc), but usually by a Control Brain, directly.

In addition to that last quality, there’s another way the code in a PAK can be changed, for better or worse- Via evolution. Though I am talking about digitized neurology, the actual data in a PAK is a lot more comparable to biological DNA or a “self-learning” AI than it is a rigid computer program. By this, I mean that its code is subject to certain changes over time, perhaps both directed and completely random, particularly during the recycling of its information back into the Smeeteries.

And this is actually good design on the control brains’ part, the same way not reproducing Irkens as genetically identical clones was. Genetic and digital diversity are desirable goals to keep in mind if you want a healthy and versatile stock of workers, engineers, soldiers, and everything in between. We’re talking about highly sentient, highly intelligent, and emotional organisms here. A static drone mindset is going to offer them inadequate ability to adapt to their lengthy life experiences or be unique persons. How else would social mobility have purpose in their world? How else could the cream of the crop rise so far above their peers? That positive was deemed worthy of an obvious risk, however: computational errors.

When the Bugs Get Bugs

 IZ does not clearly lay out what it means for an Irken to be defective, but it gives us a general idea. Defectiveness is not something diagnosed from a code scan for this missing value or that incorrect variable. It’s not judged by one specific character trait or quality that’s abnormal for an Irken to display. “Defective” is a judgement stamp, wielded by the Control Brains when they gauge the total sum value of a life’s contribution to the species. And it’s not one given to Irkens which are merely incompetent, no. Anyone proven to be unfit for their standing is given generous opportunity for redemption or simply reassigned a more suitable occupation. If it were based on likability, we’d have seen Skoodge sent to Judgementia years ago.

Rather, it’s given to those who are viewed as so twisted that they are proven to be an existential danger to their brethren. Irkens that are so destructive to the essence of the collective that their memory must be purged from the record and their identity erased.

I adore the enthusiasm behind fans who want to view this as an analogy for disability or neurodivergence against a conformist society, but the metaphor I’m seeing is one of extreme antisocial behavior. A defective Irken screams less “adhd/autism” to me than they do serial murderers (of their own) or outright traitors. Pardon the use of a gross phrase, but it’d seem we were talking about an Irken equivalent of what the outdated gens would have dubbed the “criminally insane”. No one on screen has ever shown Skoodge or Tak the sort of concern that would get them sent to the Spike of Judgement, but when Zim was in that hot seat? NO one was doubting what his verdict would be.

^ courtesy of “The Trial’s” transcript

I think about the 40 shmillion mistakes a lot.

It’s such a vague quantity. But it sure sounds like a hell of a big one. And what mistakes… what did the lil squirt even have to compare them to? There’s no standard one person an Irken can be. Every presentation of the flaws in that code to the control brains hasn’t ended up a flaw to him.

I only started writing this because I really couldn’t stop thinking about the 40 shmillion. There’s no chronological room for bad self-modding to add up to that so quickly.  DNA replication, nature’s own sloppy and random process of creating new life, can be excused around 120,000 hiccups when duplicating with a 6 billion pair-long protein. But this kind of shuffling is under a futuristic AI’s precise eye. Yes, defects happen, but as bad as him? From birth??? How could you possibly get that many detrimental deviations from the mechanical fucking god-queen(s) of their entire homeworld?

And then it hit me.

You don’t. Not from Irk.

The hot take I’ve been charging for this entire time is thus.

Zim is not defective by any random accident. In fact, I smell the tampering of foreign sabotage.

Not only is this guy the thing his kind fears more than any else, they have every right to be shaking in their stance.

That puzzle i posed at the beginning of this journey, have you seen what I’ve seen yet?

Because the answer I was looking for as to what similarity connects an anthill, a PC, and a city from Greek legend was a most effective tactic for taking them down.

Do you know the best way to deal with a bad ant infestation? Cuz you can lay down all the raid and crushing action you want, but you won’t really be getting anywhere unless you target the pests directly at their queen. To that end, liquid ant baits are marvelous inventions- a sweet substance hiding a small amount of slow acting poison. Poison to be peacefully delivered by the stomach of an ant to the rest of her colony, poisoning her kin, who sicken more members, on and on until the queen is destroyed and the entire nest perishes. An insidious toxin to do all the work while its user never lifts a finger, pretty ingenious.

And when it comes to computers, we also have ways to attack entire networks at source, from quietly and far away. “Trojan” was a category of malware responsible for 64.31% of all cyber attacks on Windows systems in 2022, and they still make up a majority of active malware hits today. The concept is deviously simple. The malicious code is hidden within an innocent looking program, maybe even within a legitimate software that does what it’s supposed to. Once the stowaway is invited into the system, it can get down to it some sneaky, nasty, destructive work on your device. As for what those acts could look like, well, malware exists to do all kinds of things. Mostly something involving trying to get money/information from you or hijacking your computer for whatever its creator wants to use it for. And some of them will just up and wreck your shit, disable your antivirus software to open you up to more infections, disable important operations, wipe your data. Use your imagination.

And as for Troy.. well, where do you think Trojan programs got their name? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So, Irkens have their Armada, bionic drones, and homeworld- in other words, the thriving swarm of army ants, the billions to trillions of computers they so rely on, and their nigh untouchable fortress, always at war.

And some damn crafty bastard(s) in the stars said

“Here is their sugar-bait,”

“Here is their cyber attack,”

“Here is their wooden horse.”

And one particular race is going to be getting the last laugh before long.

Nerds That Are GOATed With the Sauce

That’s right, I thought about this all the way through to finding our prime suspect. And let me tell you, NO ONE in the Galaxy reeked of fish like the Vortians did. Get over here and lemme show you my whiteboard with all the red circles and polaroids on it.

- The Means

In a way of tragic irony, Vort has contributed more than any else to the same Irken conquest that turned on them in the end. A natural talent for cutting edge engineering and technical development actually does not seem to be what Irk already came into the ring with. For how mighty and superior they view themselves, the greatest achievements of their military can actually be owed to Vortian outsourcing. When we would have gotten a look at Tallest Miyuki’s very own “finest minds” during her reign, notice something interesting about these guys below,

Zim there is the ONLY Irken to be found! Yes, transferred there because of the punchline explanation of ‘he breaks everything he touches so maybe he’ll have an affinity for weapons research’ but damn right he actually did! And still does; I don’t want it to go unsaid that Zim has shown MUCH more technological skill and innovation than near any other Irken we’ve seen.

Another fun thing to note about this is that Lard Nar was also part of this lineup, and in the transcript he was in the process of working on the blueprints for The Massive. (which leaves you with the cursed knowledge that Zim, Prisoner 777, and Lard were all familiar coworkers long before the events of the show) And that brings me back to what I’m saying about the real reason the Vort natives were enslaved and imprisoned instead of outright sweeped after conquering. The Armada needs their skills, because Vortian advancement is something their own scientists couldn’t come close to. Left to their own devices, Vort could have easily outmatched them at an earlier point in history. It’s a people that figured out infinite power sources and potentially wormhole technology, while PAKs were something a disfigured human tween with a lot of time on his hands was able to crack. If anyone could outpace and outsmart the defensive measures of the Control Brains, it’s going to be them. And what better, cleaner way to sabotage the enemy than from within. 

The very same strings of inserted code that cursed Zim with his delusions, paranoia, lust for destruction, and horrible tactics may also have blessed him with a determination and intellect higher than almost any creature alive. The saboteur gave Irk the most powerful racecar in history, and then fitted it with bicycle brakes. No matter how hard Zim tries to conform to what will give him admiration, no matter how competent he is at keeping himself alive, it’s as if he is instinctually compelled toward whatever actions will cause the MOST damage to his allies in the process. Dib may think he’s the bulwark against the invasion when, ironically, he’s fighting against the one being that’s predetermined to be the arrow that strikes Irken leadership right in their dumb, green heels. (There is also an instance in the comics where Dib figures out that Zim is the ace in the hole for total Irken eradication but that’s another fun story.)

Oh, oh HO HO, and that’s only what he’s capable of doing before the empire’s actual immune system against defects like him wakes up and notices!

Three planetary blackouts, two dead generals, and a whole swath of dead invaders was just the fucking warm up, babey! All that is merely the kind of loud disruption that you need in order to fulfil the real thing this Trojan horse exists for in the first place.

What a celebration of hubris the Spike of Judgement was. Yeah, let’s take our method of filtering the corrupted data from the hive mind, and completely centralize it on a single planet! As well, let’s have the very purging agents also be the same ones to perform the evaluations themselves, I’m sure that it would be unthinkable for any outsider to design a worm that could make it through the brains’ firewalls. Goddamn spectacular. Like inserting an infected USB into your laptop, the Tallest never realized what kind of beast they woke up by plugging that PAK into the Spike’s mainframes. Those brains were meant to handle an expected spectrum of deviation when it came to defective Irkens, never a sleeper virus of this complexity.

From here it probably won’t even matter if Zim survives much longer on Earth, his virus has already spread to the very thing relied upon to keep things like him out of the data pool in the first place. With the Judgementia brains corrupted and no higher authority to overrule them, the firewall is effectively broken, and you know what that means? Bigger cracks for future defectives to start trickling through, both spontaneous and artificial. The ideal scenario is one where a degenerating and glitched population accelerates the incompetency of the empire to the point where it just implodes on itself; nevertheless, even a disease that only slows down Operation Doom could be a game changer, by giving the rest of the little guys more time to band together a coalition strong enough to strike back when the time is right.

- The Motive

The history of these two races’ alliance is something I lament us not having more lore to pull from- how far back it goes, what the character of the Vort was like during that time, what the Irkens had offered in return- a few among dozens of questions it rears.  The implication behind how it ended lies in Zim’s creation that slayed Tallest Miyuki. Interestingly, the Empire never received the memo of what exactly went down, or, perhaps, stubbornly denied the account of the other scientists who were there that day. Neither Red/Purple nor the Judgmentia Brains had any idea that Zim’s actions led to the death of a Tallest. So, makes sense that the Vortians became the unintentional scapegoat (no pun intended) for the incident, and the rest is history.

Note: It’s also in the realm of possibility that Vort was actually the one to withdraw from the alliance instead, given that the same blob that devoured Miyuki (purely the fault of their Irken transfer) also went on to cause untold amounts of devastation. Red’s reaction to the real story stuck out to me as more telling, although.

But why am I even talking about this? Zim was decades old before war was declared on them, and either people’s regard to each other seemed strangely… respectful, if anything.

But, was Vort really a monolithic bunch? Irk was already an empire by this point, and diplomacy with those they needed something from did not mean they weren’t otherwise an aggressive force in the universe. For all we know, the alliance itself might have been coerced, or result of depraved leadership among the Vortians.  Any citizen with a conscience who could see the writing on the walls would be disgusted by giving so much aid and brown nosing to such a menace, no? I know who would have seen that writing before anyone else. Brainiacs who are smart enough to build something like The Massive and all its bells and whistles would know better than anyone just what it was all capable of in the wrong hands. The collateral damage against your own people might be a sacrifice worth making in the face of the alternative.

- The Oppurtunity

So.. that’s all well and good, yeah? A why, and a what, yet this is actually the tricky part of saving the galaxy,

Sneaking your StupidifyIrk.exe file onto the assholes’ homeworld without alerting either them or your own treacherous, weak, collaborator superiors to your actions. Infecting and releasing a random Irken alive would be far too dangerous, far too noticeable to the point where they could just be destroyed outright before given a chance to wreak real havoc.

But what about releasing a dead Irken? 🤔

PAKs are only screened for criminal flaws when errors begin to affect their body’s behaviors in destructive ways. A fully competent scientist, or soldier, or navigator performing a lifetime of loyal service to the empire and then meeting an unfortunate end? Their minds’ shadows can be accepted back into the data pool no questions asked. That’s only business as usual.

That almost makes new smeets something of a reincarnation of their ancestors. Personally, I see it kind of like replaying a video game and re-rolling your stats, even if you’re reusing your character’s name and general play style.

Either way, we come full circle to my theory about Zim’s actual origin. Maybe not “our” Zim, but the previous iteration of data that was shuffled to create his person. Whoever they were, I’m convinced that they were also an exceptional individual. They were probably pretty arrogant, but it was a more earned confidence, and they were a prodigy genius, the likes of which that was drawn to work alongside Vortian allies, as another researcher. Then, an untimely demise befell them. I couldn’t say they fell victim to some unfortunate accident, considering the cockroach durability of their body. No, I find it a lot easier to imagine they met their end in one of the more embarrassing ways for an Irken to die- A PAK stolen, disabled or forcefully detached by an assailant they might have allowed a little closer than they should have. To the homeworld, it’s a small matter. One more PAK recovered by the natives of the friendly planet, brought back home to be repurposed by the smeeteries, right?

Well, that’s what one smartass might have been hoping for.

And they really were a clever cookie, because that scheming seed is fruiting beautifully.