#ireland iceland belgium and montenegro are so fucked

[bluboothalassophile]

Hey there Blu!! Blu, i wonder in your opinion, if Westeros was our world, which part of the globe which of the places/regions from the world of asoiaf would it be? ex: the North would be the Nordic countries or something like that

Hello,

Oh boy. Um, I'll try to break down what regions of Westeros; not Essos; but Westeros are. Essos is a different kettle of fish entirely.

The North I think is based off of Slavic, Scandinavian, Nordic, and Gaelic cultures; so Canada/Alaska, the upper states of the US: Montana, Minnesota, the Dakotas, New England, Iceland, Scandinavia, Russia, those sorts of countries which are very harsh environments, but very lush and open. Lots of forest, very difficult to farm, very difficult to tame, rugged, and vast.

The Vale is sort of an area that I think would be similar to Switzerland, Austria, Rocky Mountains (Colorado primarily, not so much of Wyoming) Czechia very mountainous, forestry, they'd probably have rugged mountain defenses, and a natural deterrent of those mountains.

The Riverlands I think would be very similar to Ireland, Netherlands, Scotland, New England sort of area, bogs, cold, forestry, but also wide open and vast.

The Westerlands I think would be a mixture of the Northern France, England, Belgium, the Appalachian Mountain region, it's obviously rich in gold, but there's probably other mineral deposits, rolling hills, farmlands, so it's very rich lands.

The Reach I think is sort of a mix of the American midwest, wide, vast, rolling hills, and a mix of Spain, the South of France, lots of farmlands, warm, not as much forestry as the other regions, but there'd be forestry.

The Crownlands I think is based primarily off of Italy; and not a lot of other places if I'm honest, it feels very based off of Italy. Maybe some Spanish and Portuguese elements too, very warm climate, fertile and rich.

The Stormlands are probably very German, Polish (before the war), with blends of Montenegro, Albania, and Hungry; some of Northern California, west coast of Oregon and Washington even. It's sort of a blend of mountains, forest, and obviously, very fucking wet.

Dorne I think is a blend of Moracco, Casablanca, Egypt, Persia and Turkey, maybe even some Cyprus even; there's probably some blends of New Mexico, Mexico, and Arizona even for the deserts; I'll reluctantly throw in Utah...

So yeah, I think that sums up what I think the regions are a mix of from our world. As to Essos, it seems to be; at least on the coasts of the Mediterainian primarily, and given Velyria was based on Greece, probably lots of Greek influences. Other than that, I don't have much on Essos or as much on Essos.

[ntalksaboutshit]

Hey, uh, EBU, what the fuck is this

[pulsar-1919]

Eurovision turquoise carpet, I know barely anyone's names so I'm mostly referring to them by country:

Malta's dress is ethereal wow. Stunning

Belgium absolutely serving. Squad goals.

Digging the boots, Portugal

Montenegro is cool, I like her

San Marino - he's the guy who was participating in San Remo too, right? I loved his pink martini glass vibes then. Love his blue glittery makeup and the suit. Those boots are great

Ukraine, no idea how they're managing in the heat in all that black but I've heard their song and it slaps. Always respect people mixing traditional and modern music

Ohhh Austria look great. I love her black cloak/cardigan thing.

The black boots are really in this year huh

Eurovision is always the ultimate game of gay or European.

Brooke (Ireland) is giving Ariana Grande with the fake tan and the ponytail, but fake tan is unfortunately so normalised here. I can't emphasise enough how just Irish she looks.

Lmao bringing up her many sports injuries again. My camogie playing sister is very impressed by that almighty bruise, which I guess the tan helps cover

Latvia are bouncing off the walls. Cool guys, good message

"He's this year's cowboy." - my sister about Estonia. "You know what I mean, there's always one."

Everyone seems to love Michael Jackson, and they're not wrong

Finland still into metal and rock I see

Czech Republic matching their flag. I love those red sunglasses.

Frisbees!!

Iceland bringing the trans flag and the Urkraine flag!

Brooke dancing away in the background, love that for her

Omg Slovenia are babies bless

They like disco, respect. Their band name, LPS means Last Pizza Slice

Cool hairstyle North Macedonia

Australia simply understand Eurovision. All white, big feathery cape

Protect Australia at all costs

Croatia is giving winx club with that pink. When in Italy

That shot of Malta in the gallery?? Stunning. Goddess. Holy fuck

Poland has a yank

Brooke and the girls look ready for a night out on the town

Oh...those shoulder pads are...a look

Omg Albania is a look

Pirates!!

My Mahmood obsessed sister has been waiting all day for Mahmood and Blanco, but ironically we've had to pause the livestream because her pasta is ready

Mahmood, those trousers are probably the most impractical thing I've ever seen

I can't get over Blanco being younger than me

[johannesviii]

A friend wanted my Bad Opinions(tm) so here they are in full detail (my faves are bolded but you already know who I’m rooting for because I’m an old emo idiot who saw The Rasmus and immediately stopped thinking)

Albania has some interesting sounds on that bridge

Armenia is super cute & I like the vibe it's a very good vibe

interesting choice of costume for Australia I gotta say but the song is fairly boring

Austria really wants to be Physical by Dua Lipa and I just said that as if it was a bad thing didn't I

Azerbaijan sent some eurovisioncore which is how I decided to name everything that sounds like that ever since Duncan Lawrence won

Belgium sorry I don't really like those elongated vowels the whole song sounds weirdly unsteady

Bulgaria sent dad rock & I'm not into it

I keep forgetting Croatia's song exists

Cyprus keeps sending bangers for some reason and I'm ok with that

Czech Republic has an excellent beat but the voice isn't quite there yet

god I hate Denmark's song

the fact Estonia sent a western-inspired song is funny to me for some reason

Finland is- JEZEBEEEEEEEEEL IF YOU'RE THE HUNTER THEN I'M THE PREYYYYYYYY YOU LICK YOUR LIPS AS YOU WALK AWAYYYYYYYYYY

France why have you sent something good and interesting. how am I supposed to trashtalk my own country now. look what you did

godddd I can't stand that song from Georgia

Germany isn't nearly as bad as the one from last year but it's also more forgettable

Greece sent eurovisioncore but with a *bit* of a pulse that's something

Iceland sent something fairly boring but it's okay I mean I've been rooting for them in my top 5 for like 3 years in a row I can use a break

Ireland sent something very catchy but also a bit forgettable idk how that works really

Israel you really should stop sending bangers please can you rest for 1 year

I'd say Italy is eurovisioncore but 1) they are hosting so who the hell cares they can do what they want after last year 2) it's Mahmood and Mahmood always gets a thumbs up from me

Latvia is shaping up to be this year's "I don't feel hate" from Germany 2021

idk if anything bores me more than Lithuania this year

yet another inspirational song from Malta

I have no idea what Moldova is doing but I fully respect it nonetheless

I keep forgetting Montenegro's song too

Netherlands shouldn't be that boring

basically same for North Macedonia

Listen. Norway. I have exactly NO IDEA what's going on here too but I'm just gonna roll with it

Poland is more eurovisioncore. yawn

after all these years and 1 victory Portugal is still doing its thing and utterly refusing to sound catchy and I fully respect that. Very dreamy

Romania's song sure is a song that exists isn't it

I'm sorry but look at San Marino. Listen to these lyrics. Look at this man. Look at the confidence. The fucking hip tilt. Gender envy through the fucking roof I have no choice but to stan

Serbia is honestly objectively amazing and I really WISH I had better taste to appreciate it more

Slovenia exists

Spain irritates me for some reason I can't pinpoint

Sweden gotta Sweden

fuck you Switzerland for doing a reverse card on the title of a Cure song that's all I have to say

Ukraine's song has NOTHING on last year's banger which was my favorite by a small margin but I gotta say their drip is impeccable

apparently UK has learned exactly nothing from the past 3 years

[sophiewagentje]

Did anyone ask for my Eurovision opinions? Not really but here they are! And yes I got bored at some point so the reasons are either understandable or we’re not on the same wave length really😕😘

Ukraine: not terrible, but really not my kinda music and don’t really like their act, kudos for singing in their language tho 💔 6/10

Austria: good vibes, catchy tune, would be a fun party song, good to sing along to❤️ 8/10

Nederland: catchy sad song, own language kudos 🧡 7/10

Albania: good tune, good vibes, catchy and dancey🧡 7,5/10

Uk: damn dude has a high voice, I really like the song and the lyrics, made me a lil emotional even, could be a hit really ❤️ 9/10

Sweden: idk kinda uninspired, heartbreak song basic, I don’t find her the best singer, they could’ve done better I think💔 3/10

France: great intro, love the vibes, great beat, love the french, love the act ❤️ 9/10

Serbia: own language kudos, kinda weird it’s about Megan markle and the body? weird song really, good beat but really not my thing💔 4/10

Armenia: catchy break up song, would be fun for car singing, nice tune🧡 7/10

Spain: own language kudos!, very catchy, summer party song, not sure about the act but a 8/10❤️

Romania: neh, nice tune 4/10 💔

Italy: own language kudos, love the love song vibes, wondering why the scenery gives me such Holland vibes, I like it 6.5/10 🧡

Cyprus: beautiful voice, love the mix of English and own language, really like the melody, very dreamy vibes 9/10 ❤️

Greece: lil bit dark, but loveee the song 8.5/10❤️

Belgium: love the act, love the music, man has an amazing voice 9.5/10❤️‍🔥

Azerbeidzjan: another heartbreak song🙄, he has a good voice tho, solid song 6/10 🧡

Lithuania: own language kudos, it vibes but not quite my thing 6/10🧡

Portugal: boring honestly 4/10💔

Israel: lyrics are fun but way too little energy from the guy really 5/20💔

Australia: good song but it isn’t really an Eurovision song? Idk 6.5/10 🧡

Montenegro: I think the message of the song is very relevant with covid, but again it doesn’t really feel like Eurovision 6.5/10🧡

San Marino: MANESKIN RIPP OFF, but the song kinda slaps so 7/10🧡

Bulgaria: tune is good song is eh act is meh 5/10💔

Poland: beautiful song, I hope the act will match the song 9.5/10❤️‍🔥

Moldova: amazing, this is Eurovision vibes, own language kudos 10/10❤️‍🔥

Norway: fucking weird but great tune 3/10💔

North Macedonia: great song!!! 8/10 ❤️

Switzerland: it’s alright 5.5/10 🧡

Malta: great message, great vibes, upbeat, very Eurovision 9/10❤️

Ireland: meh it has a lot of potential but this ain’t it 5/10💔

Finland: weird but fun vibes, kinda catchy 7/20🧡

Czech Republic: good vibes, good party song 8/10❤️

Iceland: vibes, they sound amazing together, good song to vibe to in the car 8/10❤️

Estonia: COWBOY SONG❤️❤️❤️

Germany: I’m sorry I can’t stand his voice so 0/10 🖤

Denmark: nope 3/10💔

Latvia: THESE ARE THE WEIRD ASS VIBES I WANT FOR EUROVISION 11/10❤️‍🔥

Georgia: nope 5/10💔

Slovenia: NICE 8.5/10❤️

Croatia: bleh 5/10💔

[residentraccoon]

ESC 2022 TOP (After the show)

1. Moldova - This slaps. Period. They really killed the stage and delivered hard. Good job guys

2. United Kingdom - For once UK did amazing. Both the song and performance were so good and he impressed me a lot

3. France - NOOO FOREST RAVE PARTY WAS ROBBED WHAT HTEFCK

4. Romania - He delivered hard as well. So proud of him, haven't been so proud of my country in such a long time. So fucking good. Can he represent Romania every year?

5. Iceland - I love this. So calming and the bridge is absolutely magical

6. Estonia - Amazing as usual, Stefan did not dissapoint

7. Sweden - She is still queen guys just...the others grew more on me since I watched the performances

8. Ukraine - That flute is so fkn catchy, meanwhile I've been over my dissapointment with them winning. They really had a good song

9. Norway - The icons themselves yes

10. Lithuania - she's queen, nothing more to add

11. Serbia - soap lady grew on me

12. Czech Republic - how dare they destroy the david 😤😤

13. Netherlands - the final part gave me chills

14. Poland - yes this grew on me, ochman really can sing, he isn't playing

15. Finland - that beginning with the stare is my favorite part

16. Ireland - Yeah I was sure she won't qualify but 15th was wayyy too low

17. Armenia - my biggest grower, this was really sweet 😭

18. Austria - really off rythm but fun performance, a real shocker since I thought they'll be in no matter what

19. Greece - it's emotional, great performance

20. Denmark - the girls were good, this is really underrated

21. Cyprus - stunning staging, terrible vocals

22. Latvia - not the crowd (and me from my room) yelling PUSSY

23. Albania - ronela ponytail washing machine deserved better

24. Australia - yelling sadboi

25. Portugal - very pretty but got bored of it after a while

26. Italy - see Portugal

27. Spain - yeah this song was really not my cup of tea but she delievered

28. San Marino - San Marino got us gay cowboys, a weird bull and edgyness and they get 14th in semi smh

29. Belgium - okay but the NAAAAH part is so catchy

30. Switzerland - nice voice but it can get pretty boring

31. Montenegro - damn they haven't qualified since 2015, legit thought before the rehearsals that she would qualify

32. Georgia - didn't know willy wonka was georgian wow

33. North Macedonia - I'd rather had this in the final, she was close to qualifying...

34. Germany - it's cute but others had a better performance i think

35. Slovenia - they had so much fun on stage aww

36. Croatia - cute but weak, the staging was a bit distracting too

37. Bulgaria - dad rock was performed good but that's it

38. Azerbaijan - we didn't want this in the final, I'll forever be confused how this qualified only with the jury support

39. Malta - she was sweet but the song again, is way too basic and vanilla for me

40. Israel - his whole attitude in the carpet event and semifinal made me dislike the song tbh plus it's wayyy too much in your face

[nei-nei-nei]

Eurovision 2022 – In Review

🇦🇱 Albania: Ronela Hajati – Sekret okay so, I love the ethic touch in lyrics and video – visually I mean hot, costumes and hair wwohh – musically it was good as well

🇦🇲 Armenia: Rosa Linn – Snap It has that good old pop music vibe – plus that flying house reminds me of UP the movie – angelic voice but I guess its something that we have heard a lot – nothing extraordinary

🇦🇺 Australia: Sheldon Riley - Not The Same That dress reminds me of something that David Bowie would wear but in color – plus the vocals, omgg! I always love Australian entry every year – the face reveal, such a pretty person

🇦🇹 Austria: LUM!X feat. Pia Maria – Halo Like the ancient-futuristic vibe they have got – song was average – visuals were cool

🇦🇿Azerbaijan: Nadir Rustamli - Fade To Black Vocals were good so were the visuals but average it was – I miss efendi so bad now

🇧🇪 Belgium: Jérémie Makiese - Miss You gives strong 007 movie into vibes when it starts – definitely something they’d play in an action sequence – like the vocals and visual but –

🇧🇬 Bulgaria: Intelligent Music Project – Intention Gives late 90s, early 00s teenage rock and roll vibe – something they’d play in some teenage musical movie/show – nothing new – even though I love 90s/00s

🇭🇷 Croatia: Mia Dimšić - Guilty Pleasure Aww it’s a cute song – sweet vocals and yeah, I would run away with you – good luck

🇨🇾 Cyprus: Andromache – Ela Dark academia meets the light academia – wwooff those ethnic beats – the VOCALS – loved it

🇨🇿 Czech Republic: We Are Domi - Lights Off Like the science fiction vibe – music was good – average in general

🇩🇰 Denmark: REDDI - The Show Love the vocals – the lyrics are good – music gets better, energy gets higher

🇪🇪 Estonia: Stefan – Hope Love the country sound – we get the message – vocals are good – different but good

🇫🇮 Finland: The Rasmus – Jezebel Love the yellow and black (since SKAM) – music is good – it rocks – visuals are LOVE

🇫🇷 France: Alvan & Ahez – Fulenn I mean band members are haawwt – love the Celtic touch – unexpected after voila by barbara pravi – would crazy dance to it for sure

🇬🇪 Georgia: Circus Mircus - Lock Me In No music video? #stopthewarindeed – unique but personally did not liked it

🇩🇪 Germany: Malik Harris – Rockstars Like the vocals and lyrics – my anxiety anthem – I’d listen to it every night –

🇬🇷 Greece: Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord - Die Together Something they’d play on NRK P3, sounds much like emma steinbakken – loved those kinda vocals – such a cute video – cinematography is pretty I mean it’s Greece – we should definitely die together – I’d play it on repeat

🇮🇸 Iceland: Systur - Með Hækkandi Sól Ooioioi took me back to old Eurovision times – nostalgic – loved the vocals and Icelandic – its so peaceful and therapeutic

🇮🇪 Ireland: Brooke - That’s Rich Social media influencer vibes? – about modern problems? – and that’s not so rich

🇮🇱 Israel: Michael Ben David - I.M Love ‘being a narcissistic queer boss bitch who’s been through a lot’ vibe – okay let’s be political now – fuck israel – please don’t say middle east or even Yalla – pink washing is no good – #freepalestine and end apartheid

🇮🇹 Italy: Mahmood & Blanco – Brividi Love Mahmood since Soldi – vocals are so soothing and powerful – it gives you brividi brividi brividi brividi – this song is a feelinggg – takes you places on a diamond bike

🇱🇻 Latvia: Citi Zēni - Eat Your Salad Hahaha funny it is – a veggie anthem – drink more water – and eat your damnn salad – save the planet

🇱🇹 Lithuania: Monika Liu – Sentimentai Love the drama – her voice and Lithuanian omg sounds so good –

🇲🇹 Malta: Emma Muscat - I Am What I Am Love the energy and vibe – positivity we get from it – vocals are good

🇲🇩 Moldova: Zdob şi Zdub & Frații Advahov – Trenulețul Omggg the music is vibe in its own – video? So damn fun – dance worthy – really loved it

🇲🇪 Montenegro: Vladana – Breathe Love the vocals and lyrics – plus the headpiece looks so cool – plus BREATHE – okay song it was though

🇳🇱 Netherlands: S10 - De Diepte I love Reiky de Valk so much already – love the cinematography – love the vocals – neh not letting you go –

🇲🇰 North Macedonia: Andrea – Circles Love the maturity of the lyrics – fock toxicity, and toxic people – average song/video

🇳🇴 Norway: Subwoolfer - Give That Wolf A Banana Protect your grandma and give that damnn wolf a banana – ymmm ymm ymmm ymmm – I mean thanks for doing something different – makes no sense yet very fun – ahhh dancing to it/eat –

🇵🇱 Poland: Ochman – River Mee too am done – feel all that pain – strong vocals – you could always talk to me you know –

🇵🇹 Portugal: MARO - Saudade Saudade Soothing vocals – like their vibe – clap clap clap

🇷🇴 Romania: WRS – Llámame Woohoo – you go Romania -- Hola, mi bebébé, Llámame, llámame – Romania going a queer song is surprising since last I heard it was worst country in Europe to be queer in – song is so catchy – good luck –

🇸🇲 San Marino: Achille Lauro – Stripper Idk, all I need is love? Mee too – love the energy – rock and roll baby – guess in love with Achille Lauro – it rocks –

🇷🇸 Serbia: Konstrakta - In Corpore Sano Idk I love weird stuff -- Biti zdrava, biti zdrava , I mean doesn’t we all want to be healthy – keep yourself hydrated and yeah -- A sick mind in a healthy body, A sad soul in a healthy body, what shall we do about it – I mean watch this video on repeat maybe?

🇸🇮 Slovenia: LPS – Disko For me disco never sucked – really like the sound – good song but average

🇪🇸 Spain: Chanel – SloMo Wwoohhhffff – amazing energy – I could watch people going crazy making tiktoks on this song – like the video – that where music fades and we could hear her dance is so well done – take a video, watch it slo-mo mom o indeed

🇸🇪 Sweden: Cornelia Jakobs - Hold Me Closer Woof the vocals – sounds like the girlfriend’s reply to the “call your girlfriend by robyn” – breaks my heart – love the lyrics – love the music – Hold me CLOSER – don’t you mind I’ll be fine – hold tight – now am crying – the powerfulness of this song –

🇨🇭 Switzerland: Marius Bear - Boys Do Cry Like the vocals – that cardboard armor ahh we did an assignment like that its hard making them plus we could see it was broken from back ehh dafak's wrong with me – boys do cry – they need to talk about things – they need to cry more – love the message

🇺🇦 Ukraine: Kalush Orchestra – Stefania Ethnic song with rap in it? Love the mash – love the sound – the energy is so good

🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Sam Ryder – SPACE MAN A better song from UK, good to listen – like the vocals – I wanna go up in space , MAN so bad -- My Tops: (for now) 1- Cornelia Jakobs - Hold Me Closer 2- Mahmood & Blanco – Brividi 3 - Chanel – SloMo 4 - S10 - De Diepte 5 - Alvan & Ahez – Fulenn 6 - WRS – Llámame 7 - Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord - Die Together 8 - Subwoolfer - Give That Wolf A Banana (had to frikkin add this)

[deep-hearts-core]

2008 - final

originally posted 7/15/20

United Kingdom

Sigh. This is just a bad song with bad staging, and there's not much saving it. I don't think Andy Abraham deserved to be stuck with this song, though. He's a great singer and he definitely brings a lot of life to the song live. Watching the clip in the semifinals SUCKED and this is definitely much better live. But I really think it didn't deserve much better than last because of how crappy the song is. 

Germany

Disappear has the exact opposite problem from Even If. At the core level, it's actually a pretty good song. The issue lies in the performance. Those live vocals... for the most part, the No Angels girls sound decent enough individually, but their harmonies never lock in - someone is always sharp or flat. The staging, too, is cool in theory, but the performers are so out of sync while doing it that it just looks bad. 

France

This is such a weird song that has no business working... but it's pulled off. Definitely better in studio with regards to the vocals, but all the weird stuff about the performance - the inflatable globe, the golf cart, the beards on the backing singers - comes together in such a glorious way that I do manage to really like this entry. 

Spain

The aftermath of Verka Serduchka, huh. This song isn't as bad as some of the other joke entries this year [sideeyes Ireland...], but it's, like... it's a trainwreck on PURPOSE. Not that I'd have wanted them to play the song completely straight, but I felt it a little unnecessary to have the female dancers showing their underwear and acting like they were messing up the dance. 

Serbia

This is a beautiful, graceful song, one of my favorite host entries. Staging was lovely and Jelena has a voice that I love and that fits with this song so well. I think my only complaint here is that this song takes quite a while to really pick up steam. 

My top 43

Sweden

Iceland

Ukraine

Norway

Serbia

Romania

Switzerland

Turkey

Georgia

Albania

Greece

Netherlands

Israel

Russia

San Marino

Malta

Armenia

Slovenia

Poland

Finland

Bosnia & Herzegovina

Latvia

France

Montenegro

North Macedonia

Belarus

Cyprus

Portugal

Andorra 

United Kingdom

Lithuania

Bulgaria

Germany

Hungary

Azerbaijan

Spain

Belgium

Croatia

Estonia

Czechia

Denmark

Moldova

Ireland

Huh. Okay. I didn't expect Sweden to end up all the way up there, but whatever. Sometimes it takes a second listen for a song to click with me - and honestly, sometimes songs just perform better on one night over the other.

Voting/intervals

That Molitva performance is so fucking iconic. I can't believe it was heralded as, like, proof of bloc voting screwing with the contest - it's such a beloved song today. And this intro performance, I love everything about it. Marija is having the time of her life performing, and the backing performers are so fucking queer with their outfits and screwing with gender perception. Genius. Warms my little gay heart. There is so much booing coming from the crowd this year?? Why?? Some of these spokespeople... what was up with the Swedish guy, why did he seem so confused? And of course I can't forget the Czech spokeswoman moving on with her votes and Svante Stockselius having to interrupt her... I love that the rest of the Believe performers got a chance to talk lol! So rare that that happens. 

Thoughts after watching Zeljko and Jovana were so flirty with each other onstage. It's not hard to believe that they dated after. I'm not hugely sold on Dima Bilan as a winner... I said this earlier, but while I understand the mechanics of how Believe won (late in the running order + Ukraine/Armenia/Greece cancelling each other out), I'm not, like, fond of it. This is another year like 2011 where few, if any, of the songs were winner material. I did like these postcards - the concept of them being literal postcards, at least. The backgrounds made the text hard to read. 

[junpr]

Junpretzel’s Eurovision 2022 Recap - March 2022

🇦🇱 Albania: Ronela Hajati – Sekret

The music video is a thirst trap. A wet dream for 40 year old women who think they’re incomplete without a partner with a very strong urge to get married. I don’t like the lyrics, nothing special. Albania likes divas. I wouldn’t consider her a diva. I don’t like the song but i don’t hate it. 2/10

🇦🇲 Armenia: Rosa Linn – Snap

Billie Eyelash meets acoustic. I don’t like her vocals and the lyrics are bland. The Caucasus (Except for Georgia, my beloved) is pretty crazy about esc (don’t come at me) so i know why the music video has so many views. I don’t like the song. 2/10

🇦🇺 Australia: Sheldon Riley – Not The Same

Their costume in the national final is AMAZING. So are their vocals and the lyrics. Personally, i don’t like ballads in Eurovision. Sheldon, we ARE all the same. It’s Eurovision. We’re all gay. I wouldn’t listen to the song but i appreciate it a lot. 5/10

🇦🇹 Austria: LUM!X feat. Pia Maria – Halo

THIS IS A TOTAL BANGER. Artistically, it’s not a very original song but it slaps. There isn’t a live version of it so I’m not going to talk about Pia’s beautiful vocals. Other than that, this song is what I’d listen to in 2013 playing online browser based rpgs. I love this song but i wouldn’t call it a winner. For eurovision, 6/10 but a 8/10 for me.

🇦🇿 Azerbaijan: Nadir Rustamli – Fade To Black

Caucasians strike again. This has a lot of views but the song itself is pretty boring. Well.I really don’t have anything else to say. 2/10

🇧🇪 Belgium: Jérémie Makiese – Miss You

Boring. 2/10

🇧🇬 Bulgaria: Intelligent Music Project – Intention

THIS SONG IS SO UGLY IT HURTS ME. This probably is the one song i DESPISE. Anyway, eww. 0/10

🇭🇷 Croatia: Mia Dimšić – Guilty Pleasure

Another thirst trap. I like what the boy is doing on the piano though. Weird acrobatics. 2/10

🇨🇾 Cyprus: Andromache – Ela

Boring. At this point, I’m not even able to tell the songs apart. 2/10

🇨🇿 Czech Republic: We Are Domi – Lights Off

Boring.

🇩🇰 Denmark: REDDI – The Show

I REALLY WANTED TO LIKE THIS. Sapphic rock band?? Amazing. But they’re not very good. I appreciate them but they’re not very Eurovision,if you know what i mean. 2/10

🇪🇪 Estonia: Stefan – Hope

Every year a mf tries to bring Western vibes to the contest. Fuck you. 0/10

🇫🇮 Finland: The Rasmus – Jezebel

Finland knows we like rock. Not this song though. It sounds like any other rock song. 2/10

🇫🇷 France: Alvan & Ahez – Fulenn

I like that the song is in a local dialect. It doesn’t sound like it’s a French entry. I like it but i wouldn’t listen to the song, really. Not my cup of tea. 4/10

🇬🇪 Georgia: Circus Mircus – Lock Me In

It’s a pretty fun song. I’d love to see it live. It hurts me how little effort Georgia puts in Eurovision but i like the fun vibes. 5/10

🇩🇪 Germany: Malik Harris – Rockstars

Indie girl singing. Ugly. 0/10

🇬🇷 Greece: Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord – Die Together

Lorde wannabe. Boring. 1/10

🇮🇸 Iceland: Systur – Með Hækkandi Sól

I LOVE their vibes. I think this song will grow on me more. I love it when people sing in their native language. English is dead. Nobody speaks it anyway. 5/10

🇮🇪 Ireland: Brooke – That’s Rich

Boring. 2/10

🇮🇱 Israel: Michael Ben David – I.M

HE’S SO GAY. I don’t like the song itself but the music video and their vibes are fun. 4/10

🇮🇹 Italy: Mahmood & Blanco – Brividi

Mahmood, my baby is back. I don’t like the song itself a lot but it’s good. 5/10

🇱🇻 Latvia: Citi Zēni – Eat Your Salad

AN ABSOLUTE BANGER. I LOOOOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. WINNER!!!! 10/10

🇱🇹 Lithuania: Monika Liu – Sentimentai

I like this song. I think this will grow on me too. I like the melody. 5/10

🇲🇹 Malta: Emma Muscat – I Am What I Am

Boring. 2/10

🇲🇩 Moldova: Zdob şi Zdub & Frații Advahov – Trenulețul

THE LEGENDS ARE BACK. I LOVE everything about this song. 10/10

🇲🇪 Montenegro: Vladana – Breathe

I like her makeup and the vibes. She’s so pretty. But the song itself is pretty boring. Maybe it will grow on me. 4/10

🇳🇱 Netherlands: S10 – De Diepte

We stan a song in Dutch,but it sounds a lot like Armenia’s entry, pretty boring. 2/10

🇲🇰 North Macedonia: Andreas – Circles

Another boring song.She’s hot tho. 2/10

🇳🇴 Norway: Subwoolfer – Give That Wolf A Banana

Amour fou vibes. Amour fou >>

Every year we need a few funny, weird songs. This is one of them. I don’t like the song a lot right now but maybe it’ll grow on me. 5/10

🇵🇱 Poland: Krystian Ochman – River

Polish people are very serious about ESC, just like Azerbaijani and Armenian people. So the song has a lot of views. But i don’t like it. His vocals are good but vocals aren’t one of my priorities. 2/10

🇵🇹 Portugal: MARO – Saudade Saudade

I LOVE their vibes,the song is a bit boring but it’s one of the songs i think that’ll grow on me. 5/10

🇷🇴 Romania: WRS – Llámame

That’s what I’m talking about when i say there’s way too many people using Spanish phrases. Romania, girl, you have your own language and dialects. why. Anyway. They’re SO gay. I don’t like the song but i love the vibes. 5/10

🇸🇲 San Marino: Achille Lauro – Stripper

Stop it you’re not Damiano David.It’s embarrassing how they try to copy the previous year’s winner. 0/10

🇷🇸 Serbia: Konstrakta – In Corpore Sano

I like the lyrics. Konstrakta is such a mood. I think it’ll grow on me. 6/10

🇸🇮 Slovenia: LPS – Disko

For a song named Disko, it’s not very catchy. The singer is cute though. Idk maybe this will grow on me too. 4/10

🇪🇸 Spain: Chanel – SloMo

It feels weird listening to a real Spanish speaker singing Latin Urban after so many Cyprian entries,lol. Not my cup of tea but she’s hot. 3/10

🇸🇪 Sweden: Cornelia Jakobs – Hold Me Closer

BORIIIIIINGGGGGGGGG. 2/10

🇨🇭 Switzerland: Marius Bear – Boys Do Cry

Indie boy. Ugly song. 0/10

🇺🇦 Ukraine: Kalush Orchestra – Stefania

WINNER. I know there will be a lot of pity votes but Ukraine really deserves a win. The song is so good it makes me cry. The contemporary vibes mixed with traditional Ukrainian music, their clothes, the band themselves, just beautiful. 10/10

🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Sam Ryder – SPACE MAN

Well. UK. 0/10

[wrsworlddomination]

eurovision 2012 top

1-10 i adore, 11-23 i enjoy, 24-31 i have mixed feelings for and the rest i dislike

Sweden - undeniable winner

Cyprus - absolute masterpiece

Italy - she is so charismatic <3

Macedonia - i was not expecting that

France - funky french tune sung by pretty lady <3

Greece - i just know this was blasting in european gay clubs

Slovakia - the superior rock song of the year

Albania - love the star trek outfit and the voice of course

Denmark - 12 year old me would have made this her entire personality

Russia - i love them so much… also, R.I.P. Natalya </3

Slovenia - impeccable ballad

Estonia - hypnotic

Croatia - yess rock ballad

Turkey - techno sea shanty??? iconic

Switzerland - Måneskin in 10 years

Finland - see Slovenia

Iceland - this felt like an entire movie

Serbia - so atmospheric <3

Montenegro - i need to smoke a blunt with this bitch

Portugal - see Slovenia

Bosnia & Herzegovina - see Slovenia

Spain - see Slovenia

Ireland - wasn’t expecting to like Jedward but here we are…

Ukraine - love the Sims as background dancers

Latvia - this should have qualified at the very least...

Georgia - imagine this guy in suicide squad…

Israel - i love it when you can clearly tell the performers were high as fuck

Azerbaijan - nice father-daughter bonding time i guess

Lithuania - i loved it then i hated it then i loved it and then i hated it again

Norway - i only like one specific part of this

Belarus - why did hot guys have such shitty hair in 2012

San Marino - at least they had fun

Netherlands - yikes

Hungary - this was boring ngl

Malta - this is the year of mediocre rock songs huh

Moldova - those dancers were horrifying

Germany - this is one of those bland american indie radio hits

Belgium - yawn

Romania - i used to hate it, now i only dislike it

Austria - don't be afraid to work that pole, boys…

Bulgaria - this sounds like a shitty cover

UK - this is embarrassing luv

[annathesimple]

What everybody brought to the ESC (sprinkled with my humble opinion)

Albania: desire to call the storm your brother (yeah, I dig it and it made me poetic, shut up), run from civilization and make the spirits of the wild your allies. Also: Cleopatra Mom in a Pride dress can I squeal with joy??!

Armenia: empowering song and beautiful performer. I hope she brings her suit *winks*, oh, yeah, and the braids, the braids!! And a familiar face to Ukrainians! ;)

Australia: stop shitting on them, the pips know what Eurovision is about, look at them this year: try to describe this without the word extra. They just embodied the moth&lamp meme. Brought: the daughter-dress of 2018 Estonia and Russia paired with the sexiest dementor you've seen

Austria: if she will look into me like she did in the music video than maybe I will break down, she is tearing at my walls. Brought:  blue hair to make me listen, and it works.

Azerbaijan: a medal for aesthetic goal. It might not exist yet, but it freaking should. Also, I am stealing so many of the things that they used in the music video, you just watch me

Belarus: that white outfit of hers. Or the legs. No, the outfit. Or the legs?.. Which one of these makes me keep staring? (Also brought all these dislikes from Belarussian people, which reminds me - RIP the potato masterpiece of this year)

Belgium: quality Netflix Original's soundtrack. Also a soundtrack to a montage of you running towards your goal and honestly - it's sweet.

Croatia: KAO HEROOOOOJ!!! Also: piano?? hopefully a piano?? We need it, come on, people need to fill out theirs esc bingos, people want to get drunk and we will help them! Also: stairs?? Possknly many stairs??

Cyprus: "Fuego" got reborn and we are being delivered heavy dance beats again, yay!

Czech Republic: oh, the funk, they stolen it? and added an 80' bassline? I hate it and I love it, you have no idea how hard are my relationship with this song is. But facts are facts.

Denmark: A MOTHERFUCKING HUGE CHAIR, I hope they bring it: I am supporting a policy that if you have a lot of space - you should do crazy shit with it. Also: brought German, cause Germany couldn't

Estonia: Aviici wibes and, oh yeah!, another song about a storm! I vote to start a new category for esc bingo: songs featuring storm in their lyrics or title. Also: guitar? Pretty please

Finland: Darude. As a rule I don't list people here, but the rules don't apply to you once you become a meme. Also: Poison Ivy just came to dance on a rotating cube in the middle of the stage - cause that's what you do, that's what I would have done if only I have been confident enough.

France: good boy, cinnamon roll, his wigs are the best and are not to be snatched, ok??! I am getting serious "Phoenix" wibes. Also: cute glasses!

Georgia: yes! They brought these awesome back vocals for which I love them so much!! Also: I feel like Georgia has its goal to make us love Georgian, and idk about you, but it works on mee~~

Germany: SISTAH!!! It's caraoce night and Elsa and Pocahontas are winning it. Also: can I talk about how refreshing it is to see a female duo?

Greece: actual Greece aesthetic wibes?? Beauty, so much beauty. Also: give them swords!! Allow them swords on the stage, cowards!!

Hungary: a song about a dad! I sense a streak! And I want to kiss everybody responsible for keeping it in Hungarian. Also: whistling! That you cannot get out of your head!

Iceland: they got last place last time so they are angry now, ahah. But honestly, we haven't even started yet  and Hatari is already a meme, and we all know that it's the true currency of Eurovision fame. They are worth an essay, it's just I won't do it here.

Ireland: light happy pop for you to finally relax. And, for some reason, nostalgia? I blame Irish magic.

Israel: an Israeli Freddy Mercury with a strong song and a pinch of Disney sound. Interesting in a good way vocals.

Italy: "ramadan" rimed with "Jackie Chan", a big fuck you to all the haters and international versions of D.Trump. Also: ~~soldiii~~, ~~soldiii~~

Latvia: your soundtrack for soft and quiet, warm night walks. Magic the color of black and crimson velvet. The ocean of the eyes.

Lithuania: that one song that encourages you to stand up and go towards what you want, plants a seed of self appreciation inside of you. Good stuff. And his voice is higher than the expectations of your relatives.

Malta: another aesthetics award!! Also - I can't possibly say no to people who put chameleons into music videos. Also: another member of "nana" squad!

Moldova: this year it's them who is bringing us a ballad: and a solid one, + the voice

Montenegro: oh yes!! Finally!! A grandpa!! With a beard!! Playing a traditional instrument!! The sacred commandments are being followed!! Also snow in May aesthetic.

North Macedonia: a powerful ballad for girls and I am here for it!! Go and break the rules! Make everybody fucking emotional!! We need it and we deserve it!

Norway: the sickest Christmas party in a Narnia setting: LET ME IIIN.The furry jokes. And if u think they will stop any time soon - you are wildly misguided. And now we have another version of what does the fox say!

Poland: if you haven't heard them already - probably they brought smth you haven't really expected from them as a folk band. They make me feel things. The outfits!! I said THE OUTFITS!!

Portugal: a true to life representation of my last two brain cells. It's so eary, so unusual that I am in love. Back in my days (and it's like a week ago) I had to do a half an hour long deep YouTube dive to get to music like this. Artttt

Romania: abandoned mansions aesthetic, possible mythical wibes, yessss, bring it to meee!

Russia: Lazarev. They brought Lazarev. You know who he is, what can I say except for: why is his signing is so good??hmm

San Marino: a true leader of "nanana" squad appears!! I like to think that's how San Marino celebrates all of its national holidays. They've always came to Eurovision to party, and they are proving a point once again.

Serbia: I know many like to complain about ballads: but come on, we need at least some, and Serbia delivered, at least we always can rely on Balcan countries for that! Also: I hope she brings her crystal horns with her to the stage, they paid them so much attention!

Slovenia: depressed youth love brought you some indi to relax but also to float into space contemplating your choices.

Spain: is here to cure your depression in case any of the previous songs triggered it. Brought a party, the Sun, and the most Spanish sounding thing I have ever heard. I feel like they thrive out of dandelion wine.

Sweden: changed their formula a bit and suddenly in works on me, and it works very well! There is a literall door to heaven above the stage! That's where they came from! Also: I am in love with the back vocal singers.

Switzerland: a Spanish wibe + some Asian notes/sound?? + heavy dance beat = yeah, they got me, it is indeed good to dance to.

The Netherlands: brought sensitivity and forced it on me, brought tears and put them behind my eyes. Goodness gracious, whyyy

UK: such a sweet happy song, love how the entries from UK tend to be so sunny and bright recently. Brought me desire to hug my friends and close ones.

Please note that I have no intentions of offending anybody, we all are here to have a good time. I respect everybody on this list.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 105 - 101

105. Mariya Yaremchuk - “Tick tock” Ukraine 2014

Conform with the “GODDESSES ONLY” clause of their Eurovision contract, Ukraine once again have blessed us with an amazing opener (Seriously. First Melovin, then Eduard, now this? WE WERE ROBBED OF MARUV OPENING THE FINALE). 

"Tick tock” is a bit too elementary to put into my top 100, HOWEVER that is also why it’s such an easy song to get into. High (production-)quality Ukranian trashpop 😍 Which won Vidbir as an unintentional incest anthem 😍 (if you don’t know, the original version opened with “We belonged to each other, like a sister to a brother” Cersei Lannister is quaking.) 

Naturally, the main reason why Mariya ranks this high is, of course, the staging. THE HAMSTER WHEEL IS LEGENDARY:

Mariya casually flinging herself on top of that giant spinning contraption and torturing her poor hot dancer. 😍 I’d say the staging makes no sense, but then I realized Ukraine probably went with this act because it’s DIRT CHEAP <3 (which is funny as long as you don’t think about why they went with a lowbudget act 😭). It’s just so... honorarily Moldovan? 😍 Ukraine and Moldova using each other as horcruxes <3 Name a more epic ESC alliance, I will wait. Until then,

________________________________________________________________

104. Sanja Vucic - “Goodbye (Shelter)” Serbia 2016

... let us celebrate this glorious cross-over between “Molitva”, “Running” and “l’Amore è femmina”. 😍 “Shelter” takes the best aspects from these three entries and combines them into a increasedly shouty mess. As you can imagine, I LOVE this witches’ cabal of hackneyed hand choreos, shredded leather and facial gymnastics. Most ESC performers would keep their miming to the precise amount of what they need, but Sanja is (and has always been) so UNPLUGGED with her irate facial expressions. A reel:

Which, in a song with such a HEAVY topic as spousal abuse is actually quite appropriate. You show those awful shit husbands, girl!!! 

And you’d think that would be *IT*, but nope you’re wrong because :TEEHEE: I also think “Shelter” is a great song even without the messy misandry. The song is catchy, moody and highly relistenable. It’s one of the better mid-tier bops of this ranking. No wonder it got televotes from all over Euro-

oh. (🤣)

CONGRATZ BOJANA ON BEING THE HIGHEST RANKED SERBIAN ENTRY.

________________________________________________________________

103. Alyona Lanskaya - “Solayoh” Belarus 2013

HI 🙂 MY NAME IS ALYONA LANSKAYA 🙂 I AM FROM BELARUS 🙂 MY SONG SOLAYOH.  🙂

2013 is mostly remembered as the year of ‘splicing unnecessary dubstep into your song’, but there is another recurring trend which was even better. The ‘female performer enters the stage with STYLE’ and as far as stylistic entrances go, Alyona’s is one of the best. This emissary  from the planet Solayoh emerged immediately from her discoball-shaped Escape pod upon landing to tell us all the love and joys of her homeworld 😍

What follows is a lametastic banality anthem, riddled with ESL sentences (”We can make it into hot night” 😍.) and of course, a few iconic hand choreographies:

Topping off the hilarity is the idea of a well-off socialite such as Alyona Lanskaya singing about how “she had work hard all day :lip pout:” while wiggling her dress’s cerulean bossom fringes. 😍😂 Bribing juror being such hard work. <3 We stan lazy queens. 😍

________________________________________________________________

102. Sofi Marinova - “Love unlimited” Bulgaria 2012

DO REN DEM DEM DEI 

Speaking of lazy queens, remember when Bulgaria send an act that consisted entirely of a haggard ponytailed garuda wiggling her diddeys around like-a-so: 

I’m only a recent convert to the Church of Marinova, only seeing the light during my last rewatch and I mean, how could I not fall in love eventually? “Love unlimited” is such a lowbudget afair, a basic dance track whose sole gimmick is saying “I love you” in like 46 different languages. 😍 

As such, "Love unlimited” totally shouldn’t work... and yet it absolutely does? It’s a similar deal to Jurij, except the person taking the stage here is a lovably dimwitted middle-aged hagress who is completely oblivious to the fact that she has no chance to qualify and is giving still giving it her damn’ all, in doing so ALMOST reaching the final from a lost position. WHAT A TROOPER. I LOVE *YOU* SO MUCH, Sofi-Trophy. 😍

________________________________________________________________

101. Conan Osiris - “Telemóveis” Portugal 2019

A lot of people blame several artistic decisions behinds Conan’s NQ, but I’ve had my doubts even before the rehearsals began: this is what I wrote a full month before the semi: 

Conan’s main problems rise from the fact that he tries to be artistic and humorous at the same time, and the two cancel each other out somewhat.

(...) There’s a very high chance “Telemóveis” highbrow message will  fly over the heads of the audience and there’s an equally high chance it will backfire on Conan when it does. 

Portugal faces severe competition from the other acts. They compete with Slovenia for the “This Is High Quality” value-seeking vote, with Iceland and Australia for the novely vote and with Czech Republic and Greece for the “yeah this is actually really fucking clever” highbrow vote. He even competes with Serhat somehwat, both being OTT acts that are on later in the semi. 

It could very well mean death by a thousand cuts for Portugal.

SURPRISE, I actually got it right for once!! 

Of course, “Telemóveis” was less good in Tel Aviv than it was during FdC (people incorrecly blame the dress. I personally thought it was a combination of nerves, João spraining his knee and technical difficulties, much more than the dress). 

Anyway, even if he wasn’t as good in Tel Aviv, a lesser “Telemóveis” is still pretty damn great so idk why everyone was is tripping? The song was still a disarmingly weird acid trip of fado funk, snappy vocals and a bonkers choreography that left the average viewer utterly GOBSMACKED. 😍 It’s one of those entries where, when looking back in a few years, everyone will say was way AHEAD of the curve and that’s never a bad demograph to be a part of. 

CONGRATZ SUZY ON WINNING PORTUGAL!!! But moreover,

CONGRATULATIONS TOP 100!!!! K time for a little recap of who is still in this ranking:

Albania: 2 (Juliana, Eugent) Armenia: 2 (Aram, Iveta) Australia: 1 (KMH) Austria: 2 (Conchita, Zoë) Azerbaijan: 2 (Farid, DiHaj) Belarus: 3 (Litesound, IVAN, NAVIBAND) Belgium: 4 (Tom Dice, Loic, Laura Tesoro, Blanche) Bosnia & Herzegovina: 1 (Dino Merlin) Bulgaria: 3 (Elitsa & Stoyan, both Poli’s) Croatia: 0 Cyprus: 2 (Minus One, Eleni) Czech Republic: 1 (Lake Malawi) Denmark: 1 (Rasmussen) Estonia: 5 (Malcolm Lincoln, Ott, Birgit, Stigelina, Elina Netchayeva) Finland: 4 (Kuukuiskaajat, Krista, Softengine, Norma John) France: 3 (Jessy, Madame Monsieur, Amir) Georgia: 4 (Sopho N., Shin&Mariko, Nina S., Nika) Germany: 2 (Lena 2.0, Michael) Greece: 2 (Giorgos, Koza Mostra) Hungary: 4 (Kati, Andras, Joci 1.0, AWS) Iceland: 3 (Hera, Greta 2.0, Hatari) Ireland: 1 (Molly) Israel: 3 (Nadav, Hovi, Imri) Italy: 4 (Emma, Francesca, Francesco, Mahmood) Latvia: 3 (Aarzemnieki, Aminata, Justs) Lithuania: 2 (Fusedmarc, Ieva) Macedonia: 1 (Jana) Malta 2: (Gianluca, Michela) Moldova: 4 (Pasha, Aliona, Sunstroke 2.0, DoReDoS) Montenegro: 1 (Who See & Nina Z.) the Netherlands: 4 (Joan, Anouk, Common Linnets, Duncan) Norway: 2 (JOWST, KEiiNO) Poland: 1 (Cleo) Portugal: 1 (Suzy) Romania: 1 (Paula & Ovi 1.0) Russia: 1 (Polina) San Marino: 1 (Crisalide) Serbia: 1 (Bojana) Slovakia: 0 Slovenia: 5 (Maja, Tinkara, Maraaya, Lea, ZalaGasper) Spain: 2 (Ruth, Miki) Sweden: 2 (Loreen, Måns) Switzerland: 3 (Sebalter, ZiBBZ, Luca) Turkey: 1 (maNga) Ukraine: 2 (Zlata, Jamala) United Kingdom: 1 (Lucie)

LINK TO THE FULL LIST SO FAR (IMGUR)

[hatari-mun-sigra]

Eurovision 2019 songs in Dutch🇳🇱

🇦🇱Albania, Albanië: ktheju tokës // ga terug naar je land

🇦🇲Armenia, Armenië: walking out // weglopen

🇦🇺Australia, Australië: zero gravity // nul zwaartekracht

🇦🇹Austria, Oostenrijk: limits // limieten

🇦🇿Azerbaijan, Azerbeidzjan: truth // waarheid

🇧🇾Belarus, Wit-Rusland: like it // (het) leuk vinden

🇧🇪Belgium, België: wake up // wakker worden

🇭🇷Croatia, Kroatië: the dream // de droom

🇨🇾Cyprus: replay // herhaling

🇨🇿Czech republic, Tsjechië: friend of a friend // vriend van een vriend

🇩🇰Denmark, Denemarken: love is forever // liefde is voor altijd

🇪🇪Estonia, Estland: storm // storm

🇫🇮Finland: look away // wegkijken

🇫🇷France, Frankrijk: roi // koning

🇬🇪Georgia, Georgië: sul tsin iare // ga je gang

🇩🇪Germany, Duitsland: sister // zus

🇬🇷Greece, Griekenland: better love // betere liefde

🇭🇺Hungary, Hongarije: az én apám // mijn vader

🇮🇸Iceland, IJsland: hatrið mun sigra // haat zal overwinnen

🇮🇪Ireland, Ierland: 22 // tweeëntwintig

🇮🇱Israel: home // thuis

🇮🇹Italy, Italië: soldi // geld

🇱🇻Latvia, Letland: that night // die nacht

🇱🇹Lithuania, litouwen: run with the lions // ren met de leeuwen

🇲🇹Malta: chameleon // kameleon

🇲🇩Moldova, Moldavië: stay // blijf

🇲🇪Montenegro: heaven // hemel

🇳🇱Netherlands, Nederland: arcade // speelhal

🇲🇰North Macedonia, Noord Macedonië: proud // trots

🇳🇴Norway, Noorwegen: spirit in the sky // geest in de lucht

🇵🇱Poland, Polen: pali się (fire of love) // het brandt (vuur van liefde)

🇵🇹Portugal: telemóveis // mobiele telefoon

🇹🇩Romanian Roemenië: on a sunday // op een zondag

🇷🇺Russia, Rusland: scream // schreeuwen

🇸🇲San marino: say na na na // zeg na na na

🇷🇸Serbia, Servië: kruna // kroon

🇸🇮Slovenia, Slovenië: sebi // aan jezelf

🇪🇸Spain, Spanje: la venda // de blinddoek

🇸🇪Sweden, Zweden: too late for love // te laat voor liefde

🇨🇭Switzerland, Zwitserland: she got me // ze heeft me

🇬🇧United Kingdom, Verenigd Koningkrijk: bigger than us // groter dan wij

_______

I spent way to much time on this

And a big fuck you to tumblr for not even letting me colour the words correctly

[melekseev]

so i FINALLY bring you my esc19 toplist, all under the cut, with short comments.

also be aware i literally... enjoy my top 31. so twenty something places might sound bad.. BUT THEYRE REALLY NOT, I JUST LOVE A LOT. i went into this year thinking it was weak, and then after i had this playlist on so much, hello, i love a ton. nevertheless, just my taste and opinions and good luck to all of them~

1. France ABSOLUTE KIN G stuck in first place because this is undoubtedly my most listened song this year, and i'm absolutely hooked on it. i am somewhat worried about that coming revamp, but. but i fcking love this song, and he improved those vocals like d amn 2. Russia i.... am in love. every time i hear this song it gets me into that sort of dramatic ecstasy and it's so big and beautiful that it just... it kills me. i die. thats it 3. Italy soldi is still my jam, and i adore it to bits 4. Slovenia this masterpiece is one i just want to protect. so soothing, i LOVE listening to it, it's just ethereal 5. Netherlands this song, at one point, was almost at every possible spot on my list from middle to top 15, but then it stuck with me and now it's utter love 6. Hungary i adore his voice, no bias. his whole vibe, his unique delivery and technique, that folky sound, like... yes please 7. Switzerland i am not ashamed to say i am utter trash for this song. every single part i love about this. like holy shit, this time switzerland better make it thEY EARNED IT 8. Australia she is QUEEN, i considered dropping it from my top 10 when trying to readjust ONE TIME and upon relistening i instantly was like "okay no way it's going anywhere", i just unironically love it a LOT 9. Norway actual legends... this song just cheers me up to SUCH an extent! love the joiking... i love eveything, bless you norway 10. Belgium at first, i had issues with it, because i wanted a bigger drop near the end, but now i'm just absolutely... in love... it convinced me. the instrumental, the building up, the dark undertone, just. i adore this 11. Poland oH I LOVE THEM SO MU CH. li s t en. i can't explain it, but they give me like a lowkey vibe of soft punk-rock theme but also like...?? japanese pop?? but no, it's polish and slavic and traditional and i'm really really vibing with it, because some of it is familiar from my own culture, and these girls S LAY 12. Albania albania always delivering those vocals.. i love the mystical vibe with the ethnic sound, it's simply gorgeous 13. San Marino can you believe i unironically HONESTLY thoroughly enjoy this song?? serhat is an icon, but his voice actually really fits with this song and i always get super into it. i'm so happy this exists lmao 14. Azerbaijan i'm very very much into this song, and i'm EXTREMELY curious to see how he pulls this off live as it seems to be such a radio song, but i have hopes. i just dig it, like... like a LOT 15. Czech Republic this is the most chill song this year, and despite the silly, easygoing lyrics it's just... extremely fun, and it's been my jam since it came out 16. Croatia listen. l i sten. i love... theatrical. i love big strong voice explosions. this CHILD is talented as fuck. i know many people hate this, but the song actually grew on me, and then today i just honestly love it. i wish the whole song was in croatian, but even with the not so great lyrics, i'm eating it up and singing along. i know he won't make it, but oh well. it's okay Roko, i love your voice and song 17. Armenia i really love this one, too. she convinced me further in amsterdam bc she absolutely killed it (although i feel like she had a nervous slip in the very beginning) but then after that.. holyshit. such a tiny girl with such a huge voice 18. Spain honestly, if you tell me earlier it would end up this high at one point i wouldn't believe you.. i never /hated/ it per se, but i also wasn't really impressed or as into it as most people were. i think the revamp was the one that convinced me in the end, because it forced me to face the fact that i do honestly enjoy this more than i want to. also now im nostalgic towards anything spanish, even if its different, bye 19. Finland yes, this might be nothing special, but i just... enjoy it. i genuinely do, and there are certain parts i especially love, and so therefore. like. yes. 20. Estonia as much as i didn't want to like this originally, i do. like, i really do. it just happened, and i'm not mad about it 21. Romania this song is a big grower for me, and to this day the more i hear it the more i get into it still 22. UK Michael's live delivery elevates this otherwise not so amazing song like... so much. i feel like the UK does tend to send songs with this particular theme, but i actually enjoy it quite a lot when he's doing it live. his voice is impressive, and so... here he. 23. Sweden these two ^ i always moved around together for some reason, as if they were linked, which might be because John wrote both songs, although i learned that later(??? but in the end, i feel like i prefer UK a bit more. this is also really good though, it works, and it has a great vibe for esc 24. Portugal so this one slipped quite far off, as with time i sort of lost the enthusiasm for it. i still find it unique and enjoy it nevertheless though, so it could definitely be worse 25. Greece i'm in quite a pickle because after not necessarily being super into this song, i started to really like it (VOICE, BRUH) but then the amsterdam concert happened. I KNOW she was sick, though, so i sort of have this on hold. if she delivers later, which i'm sure she will, she stays, but if not, this might drop a few slots 26. Lithuania this is another song that just makes me happy and makes me smile, and i can't explain it. i love lionboy. i'm just here for it 27. Serbia her voice is quite literally pristine, i love that she's singing in serbian, and i do appreciate her a lot as i honestly enjoy this song when it's on. it tends to slip my mind, though, which i hate it does, because it's beautiful and i'm rooting for her 28. Cyprus super unpopular opinion, but i actually like this a lot more than Fuego, and don't necessarily compare the two. HOWEVER i do kinda feel like i'm seeing the same thing from the same country, like, immediately after, which makes me a little less excited about it, oof 29. North Macedonia see, the message is very nice. the song actually grew on me a bit compared to the first time i heard it, but i still just... wish it was better. i like it overall, but it's just about pushing it 30. Israel he's actually very talented and on point vocally. the only reason it's not higher is simply because it's just not really my style, but it's one i still appreciate on stage 31. Georgia there is something about this that i like. i respect him, and when near the end there's sooo much power, then especially i really dig it 32. Montenegro the revamp did help them quite a lot, but overall it still kinda feels like a high school chorus, and i'm just not really for it 33. Moldova her voice is really nice, and despite how i found it just... done several times and kind of boring (oops), her live made me appreciate this just a bit more 34. Ireland i feel like this song is just kind of... there, for the sake of being there. it's not even bad, it's just... meh? 35. Malta that chorus is a major turn off for me, and it's neeeearing that point where a song just starts to annoy me... which i feel like is worse than simply not liking something, so it's on thin ice 36. Austria first of all i think her voice is very lovely. BUT... after about the 4th yo-o-o-ouh it does tip and starts to annoy me, which i wish it didn't, but... but it does 37. Belarus i wanna talk about how they had a huge shot with Michael Soul, but i will not go down that road and focus on Zena. this song just feels like a mess to me. like... a young britney spears song, but bad. i really don't get the appeal, at all 38. Latvia hhhhhhh. this one annoys me so much, i just can't begin to explain. it's flat, repetitive, and the chorus (??) fries my nerves in a matter of seconds, IM SORRY 39. Denmark oof... o o of. i don't want to be rude but basically this feels exactly like what you'd expect a junior eurovision song to be like.... except those are actually better. it's just... no. no. way too much sugar. it’s all just... no 40. Germany speaking of songs that annoy me? i feel like this is definitely the one i can't stand the most. *screeches* SISTAH x4 41. Iceland listen i'm not going to talk about this for long but basically i really heavily dislike this for a few reasons and can never listen all the way through without like.. suffering. the funniest thing is that i love the beat. but then.. the singing (NOT even the style) it just. it makes me angry, cuz this could be good. but it's not. also i don't like the pretend-gay stuff. but that's just me

[escmemes4days]

I commented all the ESC 2019 songs at 2am and this was the result;

United Kingdom Yes, it’s kinda cheesy, but it’s like a nice cheddar kind of cheese.

The Netherlands It’s kinda good I guess but overrated? Not a winner hun, sry, but def a qualifier.

Switzerland This is about as dirty as a bottle of handsanitizer at a hospital. Song is kinda boring? Don’t know why I don’t like it.

Sweden We just full on snapped this year, huh? Yes John, any fucking day. Love ya!

Spain PLEASE FUCKING WIN. If they don’t at least end up in the top 5 I’m yeeting myself into the abyss.

Slovenia I think this is the most forgettable song this year. Lame beat?

Serbia Another voice that deserved a better song. Why.

San Marino This is a shit-bop. It’s so bad you can’t help but love it.

Russia Sergey did you sell your soul? ‘You are the only one’ was at least a pretty good song. What?? Is?? This?? It’s so boring, like?

Romania This is a dark ass bop. And those highs bitch? yES

Portugal I can appreciate the musicality behind this piece. I wouldn’t consider it a song I ‘enjoy’ in that sense, but it’s interesting to listen to with a critical ear and hear all the layers. The performance was flawless and interesting, and lifted this unique piece.

Poland sO i Am CoNfUsiOn?? The video. Why. Why does it have a rock vibe? I don’t. Understand! No, I’m good thank.

Norway Nope. Overrated. Bye. Sry.

North Macedonia Cute message, less cute song I guess. Meh.

Montenegro Is this an ad for a christian camp?

Moldova Spraycan cheese. Ugh.

Malta Why the fuck aren’t people talking about this? It slaps a fuckton and the drop is??? Great???

Lithuania The cheese level on this will kill me. Ugh. And his vocals... Well there’s room for improvement!

Latvia Nice and underrated af

Italy If Spain doesn’t win, can this please? CLAP CLAP BITCH YES WE LOVE AND STAN?

Israel It’s a bit boring but also kind of beautiful? What? Me like?

Ireland Uhm, this is so nice, tf?

Iceland Why?? Is this so popular this year? I don’t get it.

Hungary The king is back with another bop. And we love (even though it’s not as good as the last one, we still LOVE)

Greece YES WE STAN A QUEEN WITH A GREAT SONG!!! THE VOICE IS MAKING ME Q U A K E

Germany They took all my fucking cheese and I don’t appreciate it.

Georgia Cool voice, but don’t care for the song. Meh.

France It’s kinda good you know?

Finland I would need 8 shots in 2007 to like this.

Estonia Dude loves Avicii. We get it. You took one of his songs and added the word ‘storm’ and weather references. (But Avicii does slay so... it’s kind of a bop)

Denmark Why do I fucking love this? I don’t know, but the point is I DO!

Czech Republic It’s cheesy and kind of weird but I ENJOY so... yes pls.

Cyprus Yes, it’s just Fuego being replayed, but fUeGo WaS a GoOd SoNg So WhAt’S yOuR pOiNt???

Croatia This voice deserved a song that didn’t sound like moldy cheese.

Belgium Remember the ‘forgettable’ comment I made about Slovenia? Copy paste it here instead.

Belarus Nah he aint. Me neither sry. I mean... Not the worst but??? Nah.

Azerbaijan FUCK YES. I’M NOT GONNA SHUT UP ABOUT THIS, LIKE, EVER??? YEP!

Austria Nice voice but boring and forgettable.

Australia Someone liked Estonia last year and was like “how do we make it worse, and also can we add, like, an EDM/techno kind of beat?”

Armenia FUCK YES BITCH LOML THIS IS EVERYTHING STEP ON MY FACE I LOVE THIS

Albania Ooof. Yes. Love. Just ditch the dress from the performance, okay? We love.

[sparklingwyatt]

What is up, my dudes, its Eurovision Time™

So last night, I binge listened (is that a thing? Well fuck it, y'all get it) to the Eurovision 2019 playlist on Spotify, and lemme tell y'all

We're in for a hell of a ride this year.

So, it's time for Tris' opinion (which no one asked for, but fuck that amirite)

Italy: usually slaps, and this song is no different. I really like it. (8/10)

Cyprus: jesus THIS SONG SLAPS. Cyprus is on a roll, first Fuego, now Replay. I'm into this! (8/10)

Switzerland: FAVE FAVE FAVE. THIS SONG IS SO FUCKING GOOD IM IN LOVE WITH IT (10/10)

France: its good... a lil weak, but not terrible tbh (6/10)

Norway: I mean, I like it, but it's not great. It's acceptable. A weak, but acceptable. (5/10)

Russia: not gonna lie, I had high expectations for this one, given Sergey's previous participation and they hype around the song. The song is mediocre, at best, I'm not sure what the big deal is tho. (3/10)

The Netherlands:

Y'all... this song is mad overrated. I don't get how this song could be the favorite to victory. It's an okay song, not a winning song. (5/10)

Lithuania: Meh. (5/10)

Sweden: Pretty good. I like it. (6/10)

Azerbaijan: it's... good, i guess? No big deal, tbh (5/10)

Spain: We stan a country who bring to hella different, yet amazing songs in two different years 😍 I love it (9/10)

Belgium: not gonna lie, it's a little bit boring. I expected more. (5/10)

Estónia: bold to name the song "Storm", given... all that happen last year. But the song is pretty good, I'm surprised (7/10)

Belarus: It's a fun song, i like it (7/10)

Israel: kind of a downgrade since last year, but it's not bad, kinda like it (6/10)

Czech Republic: disappointing. CAN SOMEONE BRING BACK MY BLOND BABY PLEASE (3/10)

UK: it's okay, it's good, but that's it (6/10)

Latvia: Not impressed. (4/10)

Greece: Eh, it's good, I guess (5/10)

Malta: it's cool (6/10)

Servia:

(2/10)

Georgia:

(1/10)

Denmark: big changes since last year, but it's not horrible. (6/10)

Germany: The song Sister, sung by a duo called S!sters, is nice (5/10)

Armenia: Not bad. Not amazing. (5/10)

San Marino: Its fun, and it has potential. I don't get all the hype tho. (6/10)

Australia: I like it a lot, it's fun and original. (7/10)

Ireland: another love song, I see. I liked last year's better tho. (6/10)

Portugal: i like it, its weird but innovative 😂 but im biased (8/10)

Slovenia: sounds like a billie eilish song, but it's a lil bit boring (4/10)

Romania: Meh (4/10)

Hungary: Better than last year, but still no (4/10)

Montenegro: Its acceptable (6/10)

Austria: Blue haired Tracy is singing, cute! No comments on the song (5/10)

Finland: Meh. Seen better. (5/10)

Iceland: What. The. Fuck. (1/10)

Moldova: meh. Disappointed. Nothing beats 2017 (5/10)

Albania: ...no (3/10)

Poland: love it. Cant understand a thing. But I love it. (8/10)

Macedonia: kinda cool, kinda sad, but kinda cool (6/10)

Croatia: I wasnt expecting much, but is good, a lil boring tho (5/10)