#ips-n lancaster

[lancersafetysigns]

[captainicarusmeetshismaker]

horces

lancaster is the baby foal of giant horce earthmover and im right

[pink-pumpkin-princess-bitch]

Behold! A Lan!

Okay I have a crazy idea!

Lancaster, but not a horse. Like it has arms and only two legs. Do you think it's possible?

1. Why would you want to do that

2. It’s hilarious I’ve done it

3. I’ll send you the code inject to modify the printcodes

—the Intern

//Attach: Vertical_Lanny.omif

[wealmostaneckbeard]

Critical Role Plays Lancer (hypothetical)

What if the core cast of Critical Role played the table top Mecha role playing game Lancer? Here are the CR cast members paired with the most entertaining mechs for their style of play:

Travis Willingham in a HORUS Balor

In the major D&D campaigns Travis has shown a preference for melee combatants who engage with dark unsavory powers. The Balor is a huge mech that eats other mechs using nanite swarms. Those same nanites probably contain the consciousness of freedom fighters-turned-terrorists-turned-into-a-hive mind. It's a perfect match! If the Balor is equipped with an A.I. called a Non-Human Person then there is a possibility that Travis's pilot-character could get eaten by his own mech!

Laura Bailey in a Harrison Armory Barbarossa

Laura apparently likes long-range damage dealers and typically those are very delicate and agile characters. It would be intriguing to see how she'd handle the Barbarossa. The Barbarossa is a tanky behemoth armed with the APOCALYPSE RAIL, an anti-warship weapon that requires the user to stay still in order to charge. It would be very interesting to see if the pilot that Laura creates would fire into a melee scrum and potentially kill her allies to achieve victory. She could play around with the anxiety her pilot would experience while screaming "Get Clear of the Blast! Firing!" Or she could role play as someone totally ruthless who justifies friendly fire with the fact that dead pilots can be flash-cloned and mechs can be salvaged.

Marisha Ray in an IPS-N Tortuga

Marisha Ray is from Kentucky. The Tortuga has Shotguns. The synergy is naturally there, you guys. Joking aside, the Tortuga would give Marisha a lot of role flexibility, she'd be able to defend her friends from enemy advance or she could push into the fray headfirst. If her pilot is tech-savvy, she could even engage in some cyberwarfare which the Tortuga is kind-of good at. Plus the Tortuga comes with a really boring A.I. that could act as the straight man for whatever jokes Marisha's character would come up with.

Talesin Jaffey in an SSC Mourning Cloak

Mr. Jaffey would probably go with a homebrewed mech if given the choice. Since I cannot imagine the Eldritch Mechanism he would craft, I am forced to prescribe him a Mourning Cloak. It is one of the few mechs capable of teleporting, which it doesn't do very precisely. There is a slight chance that Talesin might roll poorly while determining teleport distance, causing his pilot and mech to go... someplace else... and only reappear after the scene is over. He and the game master could have a lot of fun with that.

Liam O'Brien in a HORUS Goblin (warning: robo-codpiece, or maybe you like that kind of thing, IDK)

In tactical table top action, Liam shows a propensity for complexity. And nothing is more complex than the little Goblin which contains more electronics within it than is physically possible. The Goblin can hack allies to make their systems better, hack enemy systems to make them much worse, and even hack reality to make Things happen. Liam could reprise some of his favorite shticks like "I'm just a little guy, give me uppies," and "This goblin is named Nott and is my best friend."

Ashley Johnson in a Harrison Armory Genghis

In the first two major D&D campaigns Ashley played melee damage dealers and then branched out into a wildfire druid in the third. So a striker type mech that plays with fire would be consistent with her previous choices. Enter the Genghis, the carefree pyromaniacs choice of mechanized chassis. The mech builds up heat from weapons like it's Krakatoa flamethrower or a GMS Thermal Lance and then releases it in a blistering-blinding heat cloud. Incendiary damage continues burning victims until they douse themselves so Ashley can just set and forget. Finally I'd love to see what kind of pilot Ashley would come up with who would use a mech that's just as terrifying as the Balor.

Sam Riegel in an SSC Swallowtail (oh gods... please excuse the terrible mspaint job... hopefully this looks funny in a good way)

In D&D, Sam seems to like playing as unconventional back-line characters. He's been a tricky bard, a sneaky goblin/halfling rogue, and most recently a literal healbot with rage issues. So I think the Swallowtail would be a good fit for him. It's less of a mech and more of a high quality holographic movie studio on legs. It can make simulated stunt doubles of allies, use it's cameras to focus in such excruciating detail that invisible subjects are revealed, and even turn itself and everyone nearby invisible so they don't mess up the film shoot. Sam's pilot character could be some kind of propagandist or movie set manager who is infuriated by how messy actual warfare is.

Finally, Last but not least:

Mathew Mercer in an IPS-N Lancaster

I would be automatically fascinated by Mr. Mercer's interpretation of galactic human society in the year 5016u and the journey he would take his players on. But if he was a player then it would be interesting to see him controlling a Lancaster, the apex of mobile field repair platforms. Anything bad that can happen to a mech (damage, burning, hacked, immobilized) can be undone by the reliable Lancaster and it's limited pool of resources. I'm confident Mercer would be able to manage those resources wisely although it would be funny if he didn't. Role playing as his pilot, we'd get to see Matt do his best futuristic tow truck operator impression, which I think would be a very gratifying experience.

[sylvanus-cypher]

Very disappointed that the Space Horse[tm] that is the Lancaster doesn't have a LL-3 system that lets it kick a mech so hard it jams it

[meriadoc-doc-hamilton]

Mech maintenance tip 1:

When lubricating ankle joints, check for dust BEFORE you start adding the grease, or removing the dirt will be hell. I swear, Nelson pilots think grease is the solution to everything. This is exactly the reason I pilot a mech with no ankles.

[vexwerewolf]

Okay I'm gonna activate my Super Autism and actually examine one of these on a serious level

pilot who tries to get into fist fights despite pilotting a Lancaster, Death's head, Swallowtail or other armless Mech. (not just melee, specifically the noble art of fisticuffs)

Brawler isn't actually that bad of a talent to take on the Lancaster, given that it's Size 2 and thus will always control any grapple it makes against a Size 1 target. Brawler 2 gives it an option to deal Heavy-weapon-grade damage with a full action. The Lancaster is also VERY fast, meaning that if it grapples an enemy, it can drag it way, way out of position. If you grab a couple of levels in the Zheng, you can also just get the protocol that deals crush damage to an enemy you're grappling.

-- IPS-N Lancaster @ LL6 -- [ LICENSES ] IPS-N Lancaster 3, IPS-N Blackbeard 1, IPS-N Zheng 2 [ CORE BONUSES ] Titanomachy Mesh, Reinforced Frame [ TALENTS ] Brawler 3, Grease Monkey 3, Pankrati 2, Combined Arms 1 [ STATS ] HULL:4 AGI:2 SYS:0 ENGI:2 STRUCTURE:4 HP:24 ARMOR:1 STRESS:4 HEATCAP:8 REPAIR:12 TECH ATK:+1 LIMITED:+1 SPD:7 EVA:10 EDEF:8 SENSE:8 SAVE:13 [ WEAPONS ] Integrated: Latch Drone MAIN/AUX MOUNT: Assault Rifle / Nexus (Light) [ SYSTEMS ] Personalizations, Total Strength Suite II, Synthetic Muscle Netting, Restock Drone x3, Aceso Stabilizer x4, Cable Winch System

This dude can Valiant Charge 14 spaces, grab you, immediately knock you prone, drag you 7 spaces back towards his friends and then next turn punch you so hard that a perfect imprint of your agonized face will be left in the ground for future archaeologists to study

probably bad Lancer ideas

pilot who tries to get into fist fights despite pilotting a Lancaster, Death's head, Swallowtail or other armless Mech. (not just melee, specifically the noble art of fisticuffs)

a pilot who doesn't actually know how to pilot and who has to search through their Everest's manual everytime they do something new.

a pilot who doesn't believe NHPs are real

a Nelson pilot whose frame is broken and only reaches it's full speed when in reverse

the dullest, most normal looking person in the Union who looks like they would really prefer to be behind a nice desk somewhere but also happens to pilot a Balor

[magicrainbowkitties]

Me in every other RPG I've ever played, all of which have myriad support and heal options: HAHAHAHAHA BURN IN THE FLAMES OF MY SMASHY FIRE SWORD AND DIE BY MY WILL!

Me immediately upon picking up Lancer, a game with one (1) healbot and it's like if Engi TF2 had Medic TF2's crossbow: B-but... I wanna make sure my fwens don't die 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[the-rogue-that-goes-stab]

IPS-N Hawkins

Okay enough scrolling, time to summarize.

The Hawkins is the oldest (and largest) Privateer frame still sold by IPS-N. While the Barton has extra space and the Lafitte the ability to hold size 1 objects, the Hawkins was the first frame released by IPS-N to hold a fully functioning a piloted mech inside of itself. By using a magnetized cargohold, smaller frames are able to wedge themselves inside the Hawkins. While similar to the Mule Harness, the fact that passengers are in the interior of the frame allows for better protection. Furthermore, the Hawkins has the core power to cause a rapid deployment by dropping its exterior gate and disengaging its cargo magnets.

In addiiton to being a civilian mech (also able to be picked up at LL0), the large size of the Hawkins allows it to provide cover to allies at the cost of poor turning (Slow trait), however its speed is comparable to the Everest's.

[vexwerewolf]

Showrooms of LANCER Manufacturers

IPS-N

IPS-N showrooms are what you'd get if you slammed a truck dealership, a hardware store, a camping gear shop and a sports bar together in the Bass Pro Shops Pyramid. We're talking row upon row of shelves stocked with the most precision-engineered engine parts you can print on one side of the floor, and on the other, durable, hard-wearing survival gear. Camping stoves you can run off of your mech's coldcore, sleeping bags that'll survive a HEX charge, automatic camo cloth, the works.

Right down the middle, you've got the mech floor. They've got the Tortuga. They've got the Blackbeard. They've got the Drake. They've got the Lancaster and the Kidd. They've got the Vlad (they put a chain-link fence covered in DO NOT TOUCH signs around that one after the infamous CFO's 10-year-old Incident). They've even got the Raleigh, kinda tucked away a little bit behind the water feature, but it's there!

Everything on the shop floor is ruggedized to the point that you could take a mech's fist to it without leaving a dent - and they sometimes do that to demonstrate the engineering quality. There's a giant screen hanging from the ceiling displaying constant advertising for the mechs and IPS-N in general, usually striding purposefully through idyllic Diasporan wilderness or doing hard, honest work like starship loading or construction. There's a mixtape of the most famous bro-country hits playing 24/7.

Smith-Shimano Corpro

In a word: bespoke. Everything in this place is custom. Each and every desk is individually built according to the height of the salesperson who sits behind it, and manages to be a unique art piece without disrupting the overarching aesthetic of the showroom. Whenever there's a change of staff on the sales floor, they rearrange every single desk so that they're still in ascending order.

All of the salespeople are inhumanly pretty, by the way. This atelier has its own fully-staffed makeup and wardrobe team. You're part of a work of art when you work for SSC. Everything and everyone gleams. Even the most chic visitors might feel underdressed in the midst of all this splendour.

The mechs aren't just there to be sold, they're there to be part of the experience. You might see a Monarch holding up the ceiling like the titan Atlas himself. A Mourning Cloak might be posed provocatively like a nude statue. That Swallowtail - is it in a slightly different position every time you see it, or is that just its camouflage decals? How does it always manage to be just inside your line of sight, even when you're looking somewhere else?

They have a catwalk, like you'd see at a fashion show, but it's sized for mechs. If they really think you might make a purchase, they'll queue up the entire performance for you, and you'll get to see a Viceroy strut.

The mix tape for this showroom is a seamless mixture of complex jazz, psychedelic ambient and classical piano music. It's sophisticated and mysterious.

Harrison Armory

Imagine if America could be a showroom. Harrison Armory mech outlets are part dealership, part museum. Every mech is in its own diorama, depicting some heroic event in the Armory's glorious history. A phalanx of Sherman Mk. Is holds the line against some Diasporan slaver-tyrant's army. A Saladin fends off Karrakin hordes during the Interest War. The Genghis Mk. II? Oh, that diorama isn't open right now, it had to be closed for *coughcoughcough* and *coughcoughcough* but let's move on shall we heh heh

Everyone who works here has been in the Colonial Legion at some point, and knows every specification of the mechs they sell off by heart without even looking at their slate. If possible, the Armory tries to employ people who have actual combat experience with the mechs they're selling; people who can speak to the efficacy of their technology first-hand. It's one of the many programs which the Armory has open for retired veterans; it's easy work for decent pay, good benefits and it looks great on your Social.

The music here is a constant loop of patriotic Armory anthems. If you've ever heard the music from Starship Troopers, or the Outbreak of War from Star Ocean, you'll know what I'm talking about.

HORUS

Being a decentralized omninet collective with no official branding or even consistent manufacturing standards, it should come as no surprise that HORUS has no showrooms.

ERR:CONNECTION_INTERRUPT

CartesianWhisper: P55555t CartesianWhisper: Ignore that 5hithead CartesianWhisper: They don't have any idea what they're talking about CartesianWhisper: You want a mech, kid? CartesianWhisper: And I'm not talking the tra5h the Purv5 try to 5ell you CartesianWhisper: Or that overpriced garbage 55C want5 you to mortgage your genetic5 for CartesianWhisper: Or the macho trucker bull5hit IP5-N i5 trying to hawk CartesianWhisper: I'm talking about the REAL DEAL CartesianWhisper: The PROPER 5TUFF CartesianWhisper: Log on to rgx0582.node-7.c4l.omni CartesianWhisper: I'll 5how you what true power mean5 >:]

[corsair-mc-official]

Despite the ongoing hell onboard the ship

HELL YEAH!

OH FUCK OH FU-

Lancers will see this and go "Hell yeah"

[lancersafetysigns]

[whinnylikeahorse]

letting your IPS-N Lancaster pilot fire their cable winch system into your mech is basically sex to them. they would never cum about it however, due to professional decorum

[horsegirlwithnoname]

ALRIGHT THERE'S ONLY ONE THING LEFT: IPS-N MECHS AS DRIL TWEETS

BLACKBEARD

EMPAKAAI

DRAKE

LANCASTER

NELSON

RALEIGH

STORTEBEKER

TORTUGA

VLAD

KIDD

CALIBAN

ZHENG

THE REST ARE HERE:

HORUS

SSC

HARRISON I AM DONE, I AM FREED FROM THIS FOUL CURSE

BEGONE

[ips-northstar-official]

Are the IPS-N Lancaster and the HA Gilgamesh kissing eachother sloppy style?

You better believe it

—the Intern