#iphone 10 hanging on for dear life

[robobrainrot]

Uh oh besties, I got glitch lines on my screen bc I dropped my phone AGAIN

[hiraemy]

dear dream

“After spending half of your life with your crackhead friends, the last year of highschool finally pounds on your door. At first, you’re more than eager to finally finish school without regrets, but as the year comes to an end, you realize that you’re running out of time.”

tags:  fluff, comedy, a bit of angst, 7dream assemble, highschool!au, bestfriends!au, a lot of references to HSM, Camp Rock, MCU, disney animations, and Naruto (you don't have to know all of them, those are just extras)

warnings: a lot of swearing, drinking, shitty past relationships, mentions of mental problems, implied parents issues

word count: 25,5k

10 Months Until Graduation

“I’m sad and lonely, can someone please—  “ 

“No.” Renjun interrupts you, not even letting you finish your sentence. You pout, showing him your best puppy face and your cringiest aegyo, but he doesn’t bat an eyelash, already used with your bullshit “For fucks’ sake, what is it?” 

“I need human contact. 'had a sad, depressing thought last night.” You whine, dramatically leaning your head on his shoulder and making a scene. Renjun doesn’t waste a second before pushing you off him, and you just sulk around for the sake of drama. "I'm going to die as a single cat-lady"

“And? I like being single, and I also like cats, so I don't see the problem here” Jeno pops his tongue out, trying really hard to open the kimchi jar his mom packed for him. You blink twice at that, but you decide to not question why the fuck Jeno has a big jar of kimchi to eat at 9 fucking am, preferring to focus on your issue. "There's more important things to think than getting laid. Exams and Basketball, for example,"

"I disagree, but do your best" Donghyuck mocks him, fake saluting as he takes a bite of meat in his mouth.

"I don't see why you're making a scene" Renjun groans, also taking the time between bites of food to voice his opinion "It's just high school. You'll have an awfully long time to find your destined one later on life. They say that high school relationships never last long anyway,"

“First of all, fuck you Renjun,” You narrow your eyes at him, the male snickering amusedly at you, making you roll your eyes. “C’mon, guys. It’s senior year, there’s prom! I just realized no guy in this school will have the guts to invite me because of my fuckin’ ex and all of you"

"Why are you blaming us?" Jaemin asks, quite bewildered. You shrug at him.

"Dunno. Why don't you tell me? I don't understand how the male species work!" You roll your eyes, poking your vegetables with your chopsticks, but not making any move to take them to your mouth. "Just heard some guys in the tennis club sayin' that the expectation bar was too high because I hang out with you. It doesn't even make sense, what the fuck?!"

"I still don't see how your love life problems involves us—" Renjun chips, drinking his juice.

"You guys do know that you have to invite someone, right?” You wriggle your eyebrows at them, grinning like a mad woman. 

“Not going to invite you.” Hyuck immediately deadpans and you roll your eyes at him

“Ew! Are you insane? I’m not going with you— That’s, like, incest!” You pretend to vomit, scrunching your face. "I'm not asking any of you to invite me. I'm just saying that, if I don't get a date to prom, I'm going to concentrate all of my efforts on getting y'all a date!"

"Ten bucks says you'll forget about this plan in less than two months" Jisung raises his eyebrows and you gasp dramatically at him

"I'll give her five weeks" Chenle grins and you also give him your best betrayal look. “Well, Jisung and I are going together anyway, since we're not actually seniors—” Chenle announces, exchanging looks with the younger one and crossing their arms in the most bro-way possible. "By the way, how are we going to sneak in?"

You try to ignore them for the sake of your sanity and you narrow your eyes at the rest of the group, half-expecting them to say something.

“Chill, we have more than half of the year to get a pair.” Mark says with his mouth full of watermelon, making you crunch your face in disgust at him. 

“Why are you so obsessed with prom anyways? It's not, let's say, mandatory to every girl to have someone to escort them to the party. It won't be a big deal if you go alone” Jaemin shrugs and you glare at him

"It's not about having a date to prom. The point is, we're graduating! We have to make it special, right? A night to remember, the night of all nights and everything! We're ending highschool—"

“If we pass, which is not easy as you sound—” Mark shivers, but you ignore him for sake of your speech

"...and we have to make it special! So, I'm getting y'all dates to prom!"

“Can I quit?”

“Shut up Injunnie. And no, you can’t”

9 Months Until Graduation

It’s a sunny, tiring day. You’d gone through two tests today, one in chemistry and another in physics, and you were sure you’d failed both of them. You and the rest of the squad go to a nearby coffee shop, your mind still working non-stop in a foolproof plan for setting up your friends with someone, lowkey feeling bitter about Chenle, who was right saying you were almost giving up in less than five weeks.

You realized too late that your friends were hopeless when it came to their love lives. You tried playing cupid, but no one was successful, except for Donghyuck, who had a notorious reputation of being a fuckboy. Jisung was too shy to even talk to the girl. Chenle had absolutely no chill, treating the girl in a bro way. Jaemin was lowkey rumored to be gay because of the way he interacted with Jeno, and those rumors made no one take you seriously when you asked to go on a date with him. Jeno’s love was clearly limited to his three cats, Bongshik, Seol and Lal. Renjun didn’t even try. 

So, in summary, Mark was your last hope.

"Go ahead, she’s single" You said, pointing to a pretty girl that was in the waiting line for her iced tea. Mark awkwardly stood up from your table, moving almost like a robot to talk to her.

“So… Sooyoung, right?” His face is a mix of embarrassment, cringiness and fake confidence as he leans on the wall awkwardly, trying for the cool guy image but doing poorly on it. The girl is confused and takes a few steps back, slightly creeped out.

“Hmnn, no? I’m actually Soyeon, but nice try, I guess...”

Donghyuck had his fist stuffed into his mouth trying to conceal his snorts. Jeno and Renjun had curled into themselves, heads buried in their arms, hiding behind the backs of two unsuspecting girls on the table ahead of them. Jaemin was smiling openly, whispering new ideas, while you try to suppress a giggle behind your hand. Chenle’s rich ass is recording everything in his iPhone 11 Pro Max with 512GB, making sure he captures everything in the highest quality possible— even if all of you know it will be blurry in the end, because he keeps giggling and his hand is shaking—  and Jisung is half amused, half cringing at all the judging stares they’re receiving from everyone else in the store.

“Oh, yeah, right, Soyeon, totally knew that, hahah!” Mark’s glare turns back to your table and sends a middle finger behind his back, and everyone loses their mind. He messes with his hair, trying really hard to not cringe as he speaks the next sentence. “So...  I’velostmyphonenumbercanIhaveyours— ”

“What?” Soyeon frowns and Mark turns so red that Jeno chokes on his own saliva and Donghyuck has to muffle his laughter on his hoodie. Renjun pokes you and points towards his phone, who has Jaemin’s contact on it. The other boy is messing with his settings, changing his ring tone and putting on the loudest volume possible. He gives Renjun a thumbs up, exchanging a smirk with him.

“I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours instead?” The poor boy manages to say, regretting all of his life choices. In that exact moment, Renjun presses the call button,

“Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy~ But here’s my number— ”

Call Me Maybe blasts off as Jaemin’s ringtone making everyone crack up, even Soyeon, who seems to understand the situation in the moment your squad— aka, mainly you, Donghyuck, Chenle and Renjun, — falls to the ground howling. She glances at your group and gives a peace sign to Chenle's camera(that now was in Jisung's hold), amused as fuck. She gives Mark a pity pat on the back and leaves him behind with slumped shoulders.

“I hate y’all” He says as he comes back to your table, sitting next to you and burying his head between his arms. You give him a pat on the head, smiling slightly.

“Well, at least that was funny” You tease, sipping on your iced cappuccino. “Never thought I would see someone being more awkward than Jisungie when it comes to speaking with girls, what the fuck”

“Sooyoung, right?” Renjun mocks, not bothering to hide his cackles. Jaemin mimics a disgusted expression, putting his hand on his chest 

“My name is Soyeon! How dare you?!” He overreacts, slapping Renjun’s shoulder sassily. You laugh as Mark’s nose scrunches painfully

“It’s not my fault!” Mark whines, cheeks red. You sigh, shaking your head. Again, your friends were hopeless after all.

“I give up,” You admit bitterly, pouting when Chenle smirks. He extends his hands to both you and Jisung, wriggling his fingers quite cocklily. Both of you groan as you give him a ten dollars bill each. 

8 Months Until Graduation

You don’t know how the fuck things turned out this way. At first glance, it was one of those days where you’d think that nothing could go wrong— and that’s exactly when everything went to shit. 

You were okay until now, it had been a long time since one of your ex-friends wasted their time spreading rumors about you. But today, at least half of the entire school was somehow convinced that you were some kind of child problem who raided innocent convenience stores? 

Donghyuck was also in deep shit. He had this fling going on with some girl you didn’t know personally, and he was really interested in making things serious with her, something that wasn’t very common to happen in his fuckboy life. Then, karma came kicking his butt, the girl saying she didn‘t want to have any serious relationship right now.

Jisung was lowkey in one of his bad days, when he’d let mean comments get into him. This time, he was feeling bad about the boys in his and Chenle’s class, the assholes ones. In general, Jisung was a shy kid, so the other kids took that as an advantage to make fun of him behind his back, and today, they messed with his lunch box when he wasn’t looking. 

You don’t know who suggested it, but at the end of the day, all eight of you were buried under the blankets in your house. You pushed the sofas to the wall, leaving enough space between the couches and tv to lay down mattresses in the floor. Chenle bought enough snacks for all of you, including McDonalds fries for Jisung, and Haribo gummy bears for you. 

Avengers Endgame was playing on the big screen, a classic that you’d watched and cried a million times before, being a great fan of the MCU and the greatest Iron Man agenda between your friends, who were all Captain America supporters, except for Donghyuck, who was your only ally in this war. 

Talking about Donghyuck, the boy was feeling especially cuddly tonight. He convinced Renjun to lay down on the couch with him, but both of them were fighting constantly to see who was going to be the big spoon (Renjun won). Jisung and Chenle were sitting down on the mattress, with their backs also on the couch, taking their sweet time with the food Chenle had bought. They weren’t paying that much attention to the movie, but rather, making fun of Renjun and Donghyuck arguing. Jaemin and Jeno took over another couch, and the pink haired boy had his legs all spread over Jeno’s lap without a care in the world. Jeno didn’t seem to mind that, tapping rhythmically on Jaemin’s knee while paying attention to the movie. You and Mark were laying on the mattress, at some point, you had asked him to cuddle as you were lowkey feeling needy for human contact. 

Welp, no one can be a cold hearted bitch for too long, you thought amusedly.

The mess of limbs was strangely comforting. You had your back pressed against his chest, his arms wrapping around you firmly, keeping you close enough for you to feel his muscles moving when he took a deep breath. For a moment you wondered if his arm that was under you didn’t feel numb because of your weight, but you didn’t ask, as Mark never voiced a complaint about that.

"Y'know, I lowkey feel like you're the Black Widow of our group," Mark whispers as the camera zooms on the red haired woman's worn out state in the Vormir planet. You blink slowly, confused, turning your entire body to face him, adjusting your position, so now you can snuggle into his warmth, your hands slowly finding a good spot to rest in his back.

"But she’s the one that dies in the end? Are you implying that I’m gonna die?" You tease, smiling at how Mark quickly becomes flustered. 

"That’s not what I meant!" He whines, playfully pinching a bit of your skin. "It's just that you share a lot of things. Like, she dies for the sake of her family—"

"Yeah, she still dies. Am I supposed to be flattered by that?"

"Oh god, shut up and let me finish" He groans, the muscles on his neck moving with the deep sound he lets out of his throat. You try to not focus too much on that, concentrated at how his face muscles move at each unique expression he makes. "Natasha is one hell of a woman, no one can deny that. She's strong and badass, and sometimes, her humor actually reminds me of you? The part when she dies, she is sacrificing herself for the soul stone and for all of her friends-slash-family, because she wants all of them back, even if she doesn't know if the plan is going to work out in the end"

"Hmm, that's true" You hum in agreement, raising your eyebrow questiongly. "But I still don't get how you think we look alike. Except for being the only female in a group full of testosterone, of course,"

"You're pretty, strong and badass." Mark says, as if stating the obvious. You feel your heart beating faster, being your turn to feel flustered with his straightforwardness. "And I think you would be a team player too, the type of person to go to that extent to save everyone else, to put a hundred percent of faith in your family just like that" 

"Wow," You chuckle nervously, looking away for a moment to recover your posture. You fake a cough on your fist, staring at the screen— That’s the exact scene where Natasha's sacrifice happens, the beautiful scenario and its color palette stunning you for a single second. Then, you remember that you’re still talking to Mark in hushed whispers to not annoy anyone else, and he half-expected you to continue the debate. "Hmmm, If I’m Natasha Romanoff, I guess you would be Peter Parker, then?" 

"Why?" His eyes shine with curiosity at your words, and you can't help but to feel lured in his gaze, almost as if he was some time of magnet you couldn’t take your eyes off.

"You're almost the real life version of him," You let out a tiny chuckle, impressed with your own analogy. "You're both nerds, awkward as fuck, but still a sweet and pretty good looking bastard— Like, how the hell can you get the best of the two worlds? Being handsome and smart at the same time, that's like, cheating, but in real life" You complain pettily, pretending to be upset just for the sake of drama. 

Mark smiles, and you’re shy enough to let the topic die just like that. You turn around  again, thanking the gods that the room was dark, so no one could see the color difference in your heated cheeks. His hands never leave your waist, and you feel safer than ever in his arms. 

"Are the babies asleep?" Jaemin asks after the post credits scene finishes, the black screen of the tv staring back at them.

"Chenle and Jisung passed out before the Battle of Earth, pussies" Renjun teases, taking the opportunity to jab freely at the unsuspecting boys. He looks at you and Mark, both of you in deep slumber in each other's arms. "Awww, how cute. I'm going to puke, but it's worth it"

"Indeed" Jeno nods, smirking at your peaceful expression. Mark moves around his head and groans, making the four awake boys tense up, afraid of the older waking up. He mutters something incomprehensible under his breath, but quickly settles in burying his nose on your hair, making everyone let out relieved sighs.

"Well, now that the babies are all asleep, it's time for us to watch some real grown man stuff" Donghyuck states, taking the tv remote on his hand.

"Are we going to watch Frozen or Tangled?"

"Tangled, what type of guy do you think I am?"

7 Months Until Graduation

“I’m going to die!” Donghyuck cries dramatically, shaking you by your shoulders and you just let him do whatever he wants, your head bouncing to every direction possible without resistance, soul almost dead at this point. “I’m going to be crushed— Oh dear lord, please, save me from being stomped by giants on court—”

“Oh shut the fuck up, no one has ever died playing basketball” Renjun sasses him. Renjun would never admit, not even on his deathbed, but he was also scared shitless of the players of Busan High.

He was pretty sure he had a clear reason to be intimidated, after all. One of the players was almost 2m, and at least four of their team had over 185cm. As if that wasn’t enough, they were built like titans, not resembling high schoolers at slightest.

“Is this fucking anime?” You couldn’t help but hiss, making people laugh at the bitter tone you had. While Busan’s players were all damn trees, Jeno, Donghyuck and Chenle were at the average height for teenagers— something between 170 and 175. The only member on their team that was above 180 was Yukhei and some another freshman that was almost 190 or something, but that freshman wasn't exactly on the good side of the ability spectrum, so he was pretty useless.

“Think positive” Everyone turned to Mark, waiting for him to finish his sentence. He scrunched his nose and seemed to think hard, trying to come up with an excuse “If everything goes to shit, you can sub Renjun in. A great strategy if you were to ask me, because they won’t notice him running between their long ass legs!” He grins proudly at the reactions, being successful at helping their friends to relax before the game. His bliss barely lasted three seconds before Renjun had him in a chokehold, making everyone burst out laughing again.

“Being serious, now,” Jeno’s face morphed to an early defeat with a heavy sigh “I doubt we’ll be able to do something against them. Height is a big advantage in basket. They also say that Busan are the favourites to win the championship, so we're in deep shit”

The changing room was in a tense silence at his words, everyone silently agreeing with him and not quite knowing what to say as comfort. 

"You could say this is a championshit— Ah, Park Jisung, why did you hit me?!"

"That was absolutely horrible, even for you" The younger one grimaces, while Chenle rubs his shoulder, the grin on his face unwavering despite the disapproval of the pun. You were in deep thought, until you suddenly gasp and clap your hands, expression lighting up as having a great idea.

“Let’s dye our hair!”

“Suddenly?” Donghyuck raises his eyebrows, but you just smile at him

“No, no! I’m being serious!” You say proudly, closed fist hitting your open palm “Let’s make a bet! If you guys win, I’ll let you do whatever you want with my hair— dye it the most ridiculous color to ever exist, make me bald or shave one of the sides— you can choose, I don't really care!”

"You already want to do it, there is no point in betting on that" Renjun deadpans. You prompily ignore him.

“Actually, I think that’s a good idea—”

“Great! Jaemin will also do it with me!”

“What?! I never said anything—” He protests indignantly. You give him a smug peace sign

“Ya, hyung is screwed~!”

“Oh, am I hearing right? Our Jisungie will also do it for the sake of the team? What a cutie!” You tease him in aegyo, making it extremely cringy as your fingertips poke him from the sides.

“Cutie? Ha, never in a million years—”

“Ah, Injunnie, no need to be shy! We all know you also want to do this~!”

“Ah, shit—”

Before you could trap Mark into dying his hair, the manager from the basket team came into the room searching for the three missing players. Donghyuck, Chenle and Jeno stood up from the bench and were about to leave, before Mark called up to them, silently pleading with the girl to give him more time. She sighs heavily and nods, lifting three fingers to wordlessly say that you had three minutes.

“Hey, come here for a second~” He said cheekly, forcing everyone to form a circle and join hands in the middle “Let’s cheer up, will ya? Nothing is lost until the very end as long you have hope. You guys can win, believe it"

"Is this Naruto or something?" You joke, raising your eyebrow and high pitching your voice "I'm gOiNg tO bE hOkaGe, BeLieVe it!" The boys laugh at your impersonation as you made a hand sign for the sake of anime weeb antics

“Stop that, I’m being serious!” Mark whines, nudging you slightly on the shoulder.

“Hyung, are you daydreaming?” Chenle deadpans and everyone bursts into laughs again 

“Maybe? Dreaming or not, I still believe in you—” He sighs in defeat "...dattebayo."

“That’s cheesy” Donghyuck teases, his face reveals how touched he actually is. 

“That’s cringy as hell, but lowkey heartwarming. How the fuck?” Jeno is exasperated. “Fuck it. Our dear Lee Markie took the precious time of day to bless us with this amazing and inspiring Naruto speech, so, daydreaming or not, let's win this shit, dattebayo!” Jeno laughs with his whole chest and we all cheer.

"By the way, if we actually win, you're going bald" Donghyuck nudges you, making you whine dramatically. “A bet is a bet. No backing down, pussy”

“Ha, as if!”

"Hm— Three minutes are up, can you please, wrap this up?" You tilt your head to see the manager, awkwardly standing on the door. She seems uncomfortable interrupting your group moment, so you take pity on her and gather everyone’s attention on you again.

"Alright~ Let's do a cheer" You say you stand up, closing your fist and motioning to everyone to form a circle. "What are we going to say? Team 7? Konoha Ninjas? Ninja Alliance? Or maybe we can do something like Wildcats? Like, from High School Musical—"

"Hell no!" They groan and you giggle satisfied with their reactions. Chenle mutters his suggestion quite hesitantly "Well, if we're aiming to win, let's do this properly. So, how about Dream? Because we're being highly illusional, or whatever—"

"I like that" Jeno encourages him, putting his arm around Chenle's shoulders reassuringly. He sends a look to Mark, eyes turning into crescent moons “Hyung, you can do the honors~”

“Alright, let's wreck this shit. Yo, Dream!”

“Jjeoreo! Juja! Fighting!”

“Am I allowed to reference High School Musical 3 now?” You ask no one in particular, although Mark, Jisung and Renjun all let out a groan at your antics. Jaemin just chuckles, amused. "This is just too perfect to let it pass without any references. Senior year, tense basketball game and everything. We just need someone to dramatically shout some encouragement out of nowhere"

"Are you going to suddenly sing Now or Never?" Jaemin teases, but he instantly regrets when he sees the look on your eyes. "Wait, shit, don't do that!"

"Why? It's a great idea!" You whine, smiling. Your voice is drowned by the screams and cheers, but you still hum to yourself as you watch the fast-speed plays in court “This is the last time to get it right, this is the last time to make it all night—”

“First of all, you got it wrong. It’s this is the last time to make it or not, not all night. If you’re going to sing this shit, at least do it right” Jaemin scolds lightheartedly and you pout at him, sticking your tongue childishly

“Whatever— Oh, NICEEEE CHENLE!" You suddenly scream at the top of your lungs, also hearing the boys screaming excitedly with his successful basket. After that, Jeno made an awesome steal that made the crowd roar again, passing it to Hyuck, who scored a 3-pointer. Everything was great until Chenle was knocked back harshly by the 2 meters guy, falling on his back into the ground.

You swore loudly, worry consuming you, but Chenle was okay. He got up with Yukhei offering him his hand and the referee gave the team two free throws, which were the points you needed to tie with Busan High.

"Quick, Jisung, you have to stand up and shout Troooooooy!” You nudge his side, teasing him now that you were reassured that Chenle was fine. Jisung looks at you startled, caught off guard. "C'mon, think of that as public demonstration of love for your bestest friend in the entire world—"

"No way" He shook his head, cheeks burning. You chuckle, deciding to take that task for yourself.

“Chenleeee!” You scream in a singing tone, making everyone around you turn their heads. You see the boy squeezing his eyes through the benchers, trying to find where that came from, until he found you and let out a snort of amusement. You’re satisfied when he gives you a thumbs up, even more when Renjun hides his face behind Mark’s back, extremely ashamed of being friends with you.

Even if you made your friends want to lowkey kill you on the spot, you still sang loudly Gabriella’s part everytime Jeno, Chenle or Donghyuck got a free throw in game, which gladly weren't that much. It didn’t matter if your friends had second-hand embarrassment, because in the end, everyone else was extremely amused for your antics. Also, they crushed the Busan team. 106 - 94.

Ps: you were almost sure the school’s cheerleaders also sang with you a few times, chanting WILDCATS as a joke, but Renjun refuses to believe in you. 

6 Months Until Graduation

“We’re really doing this, huh” Jisung cringed at the volume of bleach sitting on the pot, sniffing it and scrunching his nose at the horrible scent. “Hey, Chenle, smell this”

“Why— OH GOD! Park Jisung what is that—”

“I didn’t think you would keep the bet, if I’m being honest” Jeno admitted and you just laughed, taking the coloured dyes out of their boxes

“Nah~ This was a win-win situation for me. I always wanted to dye my hair, and now I have an excuse to do it without anyone coming for my ass!” You say smugly, smirking satisfied as you put all the bottles on the table. 

“By the way, where are your parents?” Mark worries and you try very hard to not grimace, heading into the bathroom to properly prepare the dyes and hiding your expression from view for a few seconds. Your eyes are fully concentrated on the task, so you don’t notice that Mark can see your expression by the mirror.

“They’re out, again. Some meeting in Kyoto or something— I don’t know. But we have the house to ourselves, so it’s okay.” You say it nonchalantly, even if it’s fairly obvious that you actually care about not having your parents here. Before Mark or Jeno can say anything about it, you give them a big smile, passing by them and returning to your bedroom, where everyone is messing around “The bleach is ready! Who wants to go first?”

“Me!” Chenle shouts, jumping in a plastic chair you placed in the middle of the room, with a journal already covering the floor and a towel on his shoulders. You smile tenderly at him, running your gloved hands through his hair and imagining yourself washing his scalp— except for the fact that you had bleach, not shampoo on your hands. You were really counting on the youtube tutorials for this one

“I bought every single color I could find on the shop” You giggle, trying really hard to not forget any step, but also paying attention to Renjun and Donghyuck bickering to decide what game they were going to play on your tv. “What color do you want, Lele?”

“Injun-ah, we’re all tired of playing Overwatch~ Let’s play Just Dance for once~!”

“Are you out of your mind? How can we put that if you all will dye your hair—! The dye will just fly around!”

“Green” Chenle replies with a shit eating grin, ignoring all the noise that the duo were producing “They say, go big or go home, right?”

“Well, technically, we’re in my home already, so—”

“You know what I meant!” You snicker at him, smiling like a proud parent for some random reason. 

“I’m going for pink!” Jaemin decides all of sudden, taking the pink bottle in his hand and messing with it. You gasp dramatically and hit his hand, forgetting that you have bleach on your gloves and making a small splash on his skin

“No, no, crap, you’ll drop it—!” You scold him, scarred for life, and you take the open bottle from his hands, seeing that the few seconds were enough to make a big pink stain on Jaemin’s hands. You sigh like a tired mother

“I know I don’t need to, but now I also want to dye my hair!” Donghyuck pouts, eyeing the bleach on Chenle’s hair as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world. Chenle sends the older boy finger guns, winking smugly.

“Do we have enough bleach for extras?” Jeno asks and you nod, already wrapping aluminum paper on Chenle “This is dumb, and I’m propably going to regret it tomorrow— but screw it, I want blonde.”

“Okay, okay.” You agree, internally screaming, because your hands were going to suffer bleaching everyone’s hair, including yours. “Mark, put something on your phone?” 

“What kind of vibe do you want?” He asks in return. You hum, distracted by the sounds of Call of Duty on the tv, the controller in Renjun and Jaemin’s hands. 

“Dunno. Your call,” Is your response. Since you’re not facing him, you don’t see Mark sending you a shit eating grin before he decides on a playlist.

It’s not long before We’re All In This Together is blasting on your room, the most iconic and cheesy song possible, and you can’t say that you hate it. As Jisung and Donghyuck try to remember the original choreo, accidentally slapping each other in the process, the rest of you scream the lyrics on the top of your lungs, and for a moment, it seems like the world’s problems don't exist inside of your house.

For once in a long time, your house finally feels like home.

 (Chenle and Jisung decide later to try to make a cover of Breaking Free— Jisung as Gabriella, of course, and the charming Chenle Bolton with aluminum paper on his hair. It went viral on your Instagram, thanks, Chenji!)

5 Months Until Graduation

“Would you rather have no ears or no fingers?”

“Totally no ears!” Jaemin giggles, his fingers itching in the air and pinching Jeno’s cheeks with affection “If I didn’t have my fingers~~~I! Wouldn’t! Do! This!”

You choke on your spit, laughing your ass off at the state of Jaemin, his messy pink hair shining a different tone with every light of the party. He was long ago drunk and you and Jeno had to take care of him while everyone else wandered around some random guy’s party. Jung Taehyun? Jeon Taeyeon? You didn’t know exactly his name, but you knew that he was an older friend of Mark.

“Nono~~ y/n~~ You guys know I love you~~ right?” Jaemin whined, giving up on standing still and plopping down on top of Jeno. The sober male sighed and gave a few pats on Jaemin’s back, already tired. You couldn’t stop your laughter and he flipped you off, continuing to sip your drink giddily. You were careful to not be completely drunk, tho.

“Wait a second, it’s that Renjun?” Jeno asks, pointing to a spot far from you three. You squint your eyes and you confirm that yes, it was Huang Renjunnie making out with some girl you didn’t recognise in the middle of the dance floor.

“Junnie? Whaaaat. Where? I can’t see himmmm~”

“Holy fucking shit” You grin like a madwoman, ignoring Jaemin’s frustrated whines and you cup your hands around your mouth “Yo! Renjunnie! Let's! Get! It!” You scream, even if you know no one will hear you because of the heavy bass. You laugh and take a sip of your drink, extremely amused with yourself.

“I’m going to puke…” Jaemin chokes out and you blink in alarm. Jeno sighs and puts Jaemin’s arms around his shoulders, supporting almost all of his weight and standing from the bar with a bit of difficulty.

“I think it’s time to go home, Jaemin-ah” He states, already moving. You follow both of them, catching Jaemin’s phone that he almost forgot behind and putting it in your jeans’ pocket. 

“No! But I’m having fun here~~ I don’t want to go home” He whines, pouting, and you chuckle at his aegyo, making funny faces at the back of his head just for the fun of it

“Chenle and Jisung texted me, they already went home” You speak, cringing at the brightness of your phone when you unlock it. “Mark and Hyuck said before that they were going to crash somewhere, I just don’t remember where. And Renjunnie is having fun~ Not going to interrupt that!”

“Just text him. He’s sober, so it won’t be a problem” Jeno says and you agree “Jaemin, do you think you can hold it for a while? The puke, I mean,”

“Maybe. Maybe yes, maybe no—” Jaemin almost crashes with a random stranger, and you cringe, saying sorry before rushing both of them to the exit

“Very helpful” Jeno deadpans and Jaemin chuckles dreamily. You smile and open your mouth to say something, just to be suddenly startled by a hand on your shoulder

“y/n? Is that you?” You freeze at the voice, grin vanishing off your face. You turn around with a blank expression to meet Hyunjin, his eyes glinting with so much hope that your heart was crushed in a single second.

Jeno notices that you’ve stopped moving, turning around and grimacing at the sight of the other boy. All of the previous cheerfulness disappears from his face in milliseconds, and you can’t say that you don’t share the sentiment. 

“Wow— You look really good tonight” Hyunjin says, eyeing your exposed legs, and you roll your eyes, suppressing the urge to slap his beautiful face

“Yeah, I know” You fire back sassily, glaring at him and trying really hard to not let your real emotions show on your expression. Your chest squeezes painfully at the sight of your ex-boyfriend, and all you want to do at this moment is to cry and shout all your pent-up frustrations at him, but your voice is lost somewhere deep in your throat.

“Blue hair looks good on you” Hyunjin compliments after a few awkward seconds of silence, not even intimidated by Jeno’s glare and your clear discomfort, never ceasing eye-contact. His hand comes closer and cups a lock of your hair, admiring the blue, almost purple shade, and you falter slightly as he pushes it behind your ear.

Deep down, you hope that Hyunjin can see what he has done to you. You hope that he can see the mix of anger, betrayal, heartbreak, disappointment and pain in your eyes. You hope that he knows every seed self-doubt he has planted in your chest since the two of you broke up last year, and that he feels guilty for every painful word thrown on you.

But you also hope for things that you know aren’t right. You search in his dark eyes for something— anything that could convince yourself he still loved you, that he knew what went wrong last time. Even if you passed half of last year crying and moping around the corridors, forcing your friends to give a long pep talk to assure your self-worth every two weeks, ten seconds of eye contact with your ex were enough to break down long eight months of healing, resurfacing old wounds in your heart. 

“Y/n, let’s go” Jeno calls you, breaking the magic between you and Hyunjin. You sigh, reality crashing on you like a heavy, unforgivable truck. You push his hand away quite harshly and bite your lips, already feeling the familiar burn of tears in the back of your eyes. 

“Yeah, right. Sorry.” You mumble under your breath, not sparing Hyunjin a second glance and turning around to the exit, following Jeno with a heavy heart. 

You find a sealed can of beer on top of a coffee table and you scoff, taking it without second thoughts.  

“Fuck, I’m not drunk enough to deal with this shit”

You open the backdoor of Jeno’s car and you help him set Jaemin in the backseat, both of you ignoring the pink haired boy’s drunk whines and protests as you let him lay down with his head on your lap. You also ignore the lightheadedness caused by the alcohol that you consumed and the worried glances Jeno throws you every fifteen seconds. You know that he has good intentions, but you can’t help but to feel overwhelmed with everything— it’s not like you were going to break down any second now!

Okay, forget it. You don’t know if you can hold your tears until you arrive at home.

“Jaem, is auntie at home?” You ask, stroking the pink strands softly. He groans, burying his face on your belly

“Nooo… Don’t take me home… Mom will kill meeeee! She said last time that… if she catches me drunk again, she’s gonna...” He whines and closes his eyes. You wait for him to continue speaking, but it takes a few seconds for you to notice that Jaemin had fallen asleep on your lap.

“Can Jaemin crash into your house for tonight?” Jeno asks, looking at both of you through the mirror. You know that he is hesitant about bringing Jaemin to his own house because his parents are quite strict with drinking.

“Yeah, but I don’t know if I can carry him” You say without making eye contact, looking at the world outside the window. Your fingers make loops in Jaemin’s hair, almost like a nervous tick to ground you in reality. 

“Don’t worry about that, I’m helping you” He states, eyes focused on the road. You don’t notice his eyes looking at you every once in a while checking your facial expression, as your mind keeps backtracking to Hyunjin and your past relationship, along with all the hurtful words both of you exchanged when it ended.

Jeno lets out a sigh, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel and forcing himself to stop looking.

“No one is looking. You can cry now.”

4 Months Until Graduation

“y/n, the smartest and beautifulest person I have ever met—” Donghyuck speeds down the corridor, tacking you and grabbing your shoulders as if there is no tomorrow

“...what did you do?” You deadpan, not taking any of his bullshit. The boy straightens up and moves his neck to search something in the crowd of students that are in the corridor, sweating bullets

“You know Kang Mina, right? Pretty, cute, same biology class as you—”

“And Mark’s crush since middle school?” You add, raising an eyebrow and not really caring for the skinship, since it was usual between you and Hyuck.

“Yes, that one!” He whisper-shouts. “I heard from Seulgi, who heard from Joohyun, who was in the bathroom when Eunwoo and Nayeon were talking about Sejeong, who said—”

“What—”

“Kang Mina is going to confess to me!” You blink, trying to process the information.

“ ‘the fu— Wait, I thought Mina liked Mark back?” You’re open mouthed, the surprise showing clearly on your eyes. Hyuck nods, wanting to pull his hair off his scalp “Did you tell Mark?”

“No! What do you think I am?” He is almost offended, but you just shrug it off. “I don’t know what to do! I didn’t do anything, but Mark will kill me and—”

“Just dump her nicely, it’s not that hard” Donghyuck whines and shakes you again, making you dizzy

“But I don’t want her to confess!” He argues, saying as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “If she confesses, everyone will hear about the rumors— so, the solution it’s quite simple! If we can stop her before she finds me, we can—” Hyuck pauses, his eyes widening and seeing something above your head. “Oh my fucking god, Mina’s coming in this direction!” 

“Ah, Donghyuck, can I talk to you—” You hear her voice, a bit far, and you sigh as you feel a pair of eyes burning on your back. She’s pretty and a really good person in general, but you can’t help but pity her in this moment.

“Put your hands on my waist.” You whisper quickly under your breath and he nods. 

You raise yourself on your toe tips and catch Hyuck’s cheeks on your hands, trying to not cringe outwardly. You place a peck almost on the corner of his mouth, hearing a shocked gasp behind you, and you know that your plan worked. Based on the angle Mina was, she probably thought you were kissing him on the lips.

You’re quick to distance your body from his, disentangling your shoulders from his grasp and you sigh, lowkey feeling bad for the other girl. 

“Is she gone?” Just for the sake of the drama, you pretend to clean your lips from all traces of Hyuck, sticking your tongue out “Disgusting— Really, I thought I was kissing my grandma, what the fuck—”

“C’mon, I don’t kiss that badly~” Donghyuck whines and you narrow your eyes at him, noticing a bit of your lipstick on his face. 

“Shut up!” You made a move to slap him on the shoulder, but he barely moves out of the way, making you huff. “You’re owing me lunch”

“WHAT? But you’re loaded! Why do I have to pay~?”

“Jesus fucking christ—” Renjun plops down on your usual lunch table, dumping his bag on the bench without ceremony. 

“Injunnie, you’re not even christian” Donghyuck snickers, not bothering to swallow before talking. You make a face at that, but you don’t comment on his horrible manners

“Fuck that too. Why the hell is everyone saying that you two kissed in the corridors? And Mina’s name is on the rumors too, but I don’t get how the hell is she involved?” Hyuck chokes at Renjun’s words and you chuckle, deciding just to sip your tea peacefully and watch the drama unfold.

“Well, you see—” In that moment, Mark arrives, a puzzled and slightly annoyed expression on his face. Donghyuck panics even more at the sight of the older male, already planning his testament on his mind. You guess Mark heard what happened too.

“So, you two a thing now?” The canadian boy raises his eyebrow and you double over, fake puking with the absurdity of his suggestion.

“Oh god, please no. I may be single since last year, but I still have standards!” You whine, putting your hands on your chest feigning hurt. You notice Mark’s face changing and he’s not annoyed anymore, just confused. You don’t even know what caused that— It was almost as if he was relieved...?

“So why is everyone saying that you’re together?”

“That’s what I was asking too,” Renjun adds. You and Donghyuck exchange glances, and you shrug it off, silently saying that he should settle this mess on his own.

“Uh— I just needed help to solve something”

“Hi, I’m something~” You can’t help but tease, laughing obnoxiously loud. Hyuck shoves you slightly, but you don’t stop cackling “Relax, we didn’t kiss. I just took one for the team and did a self-sacrifice of my public reputation— By the way I’m a great actress, aint I?”

“No one thinks that,” Renjun deadpans and you pout. “Why the trouble, tho?” Hyuck sighs and you focus on him on the corner of your eye, wondering what he was going to say

“I’m sorry, bro” He decides to be fully honest with the oldest, who is confused as fuck. “Mina likes me and was going to confess. I panicked.”

Renjun is just surprised as you were when you first heard that. You carefully observe Mark’s reaction, expecting him to be angry or hurt, but he isn’t. He has an unreadable expression and just shrugs, shaking his head.

“Ah. It’s okay, I already knew.” You’re dumbfounded, eyes wide and mouth wide open. The other two have similar reactions to yours, and Mark chuckles at that. “I found out last year. Not gonna lie, it hurt like a bitch— But it’s okay now, I moved on” 

“Wow.” Hyuck looks half surprised, half pissed. “So all of the suffering I passed just to make sure you wouldn’t be mad was useless?”

“Yes?” You chuckle, amused. Donghyuck lets out a groan, dramatically falling on the table and Renjun smirks

“You’re a dumbass.” He snorts, making Hyuck whine. You cross eyes with Mark for a millisecond and you send him a smile, which is returned immediately.

“It’s not my fault that Mark fucking Lee doesn’t tell me things!” He cries out, sniffling. “Everything would be a lot easier if I didn’t have to run away from Kang Mina for the entire fucking day!”

“Well, in my defense, my pride was really hurt—” The canadian tries to defend himself, scowling 

“In your defense, I think you should shut up or I swear to god I’m gonna fucking kill you—” 

3 Months Until Graduation

It’s 11:27pm. You should be asleep at this time— or at least, ready to go to bed, but you don’t think you can sleep any time soon. Your gaze is fixed on the ceiling of the bedroom when you hear your phone ringing under your pillow. You stretch your hand blindly under the covers until you find it, not checking the caller before accepting it.

“Noona?” Jisung’s voice breaks the quiet of your house, and you’re immediately alarmed by his tone. It’s almost as if he’s tired, throat hoarse after crying for a long time. You know that tone very well.

“Hi…” You trail off softly, not knowing what to say. You hear a sniff form the other side, making your worry increase ten times.

“Can I come over? ...please?” He asks and you’re already out of your bed, the socks on your feet protecting the skin from the cold floor as you soflty agree.

Exactly seven minutes and forty three seconds after, Jisung arrives at your home. You furrow your eyebrows as you take in his light clothes and the cold weather outside. His nose is red and his eyes are puffy, the usually neat hair reduced to a bird nest. 

“What happened?” You urge him in, catching a fluffy blanket from the sofa to throw on his shoulders and forcing him to sit on your couch. “Where is your car? Where were you? Your house is too far to come here on foot, Jisung-ah!”

“I was at a park nearby, not at home” He mutters, head down. 

You purse your lips, deciding to shut up for now and give him space to think seeing as he doesn’t seem very comfortable to say anything for now. You go to the kitchen and come back quickly with a mug of warm milk and chocolate in your hands, which you give to him. You sit down beside him on the couch, turning on the tv and searching something on Netflix to put as background, while you wait patiently for him to open up. The film starts, and the soft piano music that plays in the start of Inside Out successfully manages to make Jisung relax a little bit.

“Do you look at someone and wonder,” You say simultaneously with the woman’s voice, wiggling your eyebrows playfully at Jisung.

“What’s going on inside their head?” The corner of his lips lift and he completes the sentence, his whole posture softer and slightly happier. You’re proud of his mood change, humming satisfied.

Three minutes into the movie and you hear a sigh escaping from Jisung’s lips. It’s a subtle gesture, but when he moves closer to lean his head on your shoulder, you know that he’s ready to talk. You lower the tv’s volume a bit, just enough to have it as background, but not disturbing your conversation.

“Are you going to forget me?” His voice is small as he speaks with hesitation, as if he fears saying out loud would make it become true.

“What do you mean, Jisungie?” You face him, not daring to point his childish choice of words. 

“In three months, you and the hyungs are all going to college. The next year, it will be Chenle and me, and then—” He chokes, tears staining down his face, and all of sudden you feel your heart break in a million pieces. “Are things going to change? Between us, I mean”

You fall silent at his words. As you think hard about what to say, you rub circles on Jisung’s back, as it is the only thing you can do to provide comfort for now.

“I don’t know, Jisungie…” You admit, sighing heavily as you feel the emotions growing on you. You don’t dare to actually cry, feeling that it would be extremely selfish of you to not be the stable one right now.

“You guys are all I have…” Jisung breaks down, sobbing, and you pull him in a tight hug, hiding your own face on top of his head. “I’m afraid— Noona, what’s gonna happen? Our paths are too different, are we going to depart?”

“I don’t know,” You start, the tap of your fingers creating a rhythm on the back of his head “We all have different dreams— for starters, Mark wants to pursue music. Renjun is going to do art. Jeno? Probably something along the lines of profissional basket. Hyuck is trying for Journalism, I think, and Jaemin is going to be a physician. I don’t think all of us can go to the same college, but that’s okay.” Jisung hiccups “No matter the distance, we’re under the same sea of stars every night. If someday, you feel lost, we’ll be here to guide you. We’ll be your compass and your lighthouse.”

He stays silent, and you make a lot of circles on his hair, tangling the blonde locks between your fingertips.

“There is a saying that I really treasure... Ohana means family. And family means—”

“...no one gets left behind or forgotten” 

“Yeah, that’s right” You let out a weak chuckle, “You’re my family, Jisung. I—, no, we won’t ever leave you behind or forget your name.” You let go of him to stare directly at his eyes. When Jisung looks at you, he’s surprised to encounter a small smile on your lips, despite the light tears making their path through your cheeks. “Time may pass, we may go different ways— But we’re always going to be each other’s home.”

2 Months Until Graduation

Girls and boys are separated during P.E, everyone knows that (it was a pity, because surely you would’ve loved an free-opportunity to throw a ball at Donghyuck’s face), but one day, when the teachers decide to merge the class, you’re dumbfounded. All of the seniors are in the gym, separated into girls and boys on opposite sides of the benches. There are big speakers connected to an old and beatdown radio, making you shudder, lowkey knowing what is going to happen.

“So, as all students already know, the date of your prom is coming soon!” Mrs.Park claps her hands loudly to shush a bunch of girls that couldn't stop giggling, sending a dirty look at the girl's side of the students. 

You pretend you don’t notice Hyunjin staring at you from across the gym, praying internally for every single god you know to save you from this situation. You accidentally make eye contact with Mark and you mouth “save me” to him, forcing a panicked expression, trying to use your eyes, then your chin, and soon you’re shaking your head like a mad-woman to point at your ex, while not actually pointing to him. However, Mark was far from understanding your failed (and pitiful) attempt to use telepathy.

“It’s a tradition of more than fifty years in our school that we vote on a king and a queen for prom. The fortunate pair are the ones to open the dance floor, so, it’s quite mandatory that all students learn how to properly dance, as everyone has a chance of becoming king or queen!” You don’t miss how Hyunjin’s eyes spark with hope at Mrs. Park’s words and you shudder, groaning.

“If you already have a pair, please, go towards them and help yourselves to an empty spot. We have the entire sport court for us, so feel free to use the space, as long as you don’t leave the gym, of course.” Mr. Jung, the Male P.E teacher says. “If you haven't invited anyone yet, you can practice with a friend, that’s okay too.”

“Shit” You whisper dreadfully, your fingertips trembling on the side of your body. As the first students break out from the groups to join their pairs, you try to conceal yourself between the bodies in the crowd, your eyes traveling to anything that could possibly help you.

You could hide under the bleachers and pray that no one catches you. Or you could make a run into the locker rooms. Or you could beg to a random stranger to pretend to be your pair— no, that wouldn’t work, knowing Hyunjin, he wouldn’t stop even if you were engaged to someone.

Okay. Lockers it is, you decide, already turning in that direction with adrenaline in your veins. That didn’t last long, as you feel a cold hand grabbing your wrist before you can make a run for it. You freeze on your track, cursing every single divinity above. You’re certain that they were mocking you in this exact moment, saying something like “oh, look at that dumb, stupid kid!” ang giggling as they watch you suffer.

“y/n. Can we talk?” You slowly turn back, meeting Hyunjin’s dark eyes with your own. They held so much sincerity and fondiness that almost made you believe that maybe, the two of you could be happy. Almost.

“No—” You try to free yourself from him, but his hold on your wrist is firm. You give up and look away, but you can’t force your body to reject his touches. It’s been a long time since Hyunjin last touched you like this, without anger or resentment. For a single second, you’re caught up in the past again, dreaming awake of when you and Hyunjin were the perfect couple.

“Please… I just want to make things right this time.” He pleads softly. When he notices that you refuse to meet his gaze, his hand cups your cheek with all the care in the world, gently turning your head to look at him. You want to scream and cry, but surprisingly, you also don’t feel the need to. 

“How so? Are you finally going to apologise?” You can’t help whispering those harsh words, surprising even yourself by your boldness. Hyunjin has a surprised look, eyes wide and lips parted, but you don’t feel as bad as you’d have felt if it was last year. 

“What—” He mutters, but quickly composes himself, sighing. “Look, y/n, I know you were hurt when we broke up—”

“That’s an understatement.” You interrupt him pettily. He glares at that and you surprisingly feel nothing. If anything, you were lowkey satisfied that you were giving him a hard time.

 “...but I regret that. Everything.” He continues, ignoring your words. You inhale sharply, already feeling the annoyance build up. “I had a long time to process things. Nothing is the same without you— We were the best things that happened to each other. You’re the piece that was missing in my puzzle.”

“Wow. Nice speech.” You force your expression to be blank, your words being filled with all the sarcasm you could reunite. “But you had almost one year to think about things and you only realize that now? That’s impressive, even for you. Einstein would be impressed, ha!”

“It was at that party, two months ago. I tried everything, but nothing could fill the empty space on my chest. On the start of the year, I tried leaving a letter on your locker, but you never answered, so I thought that was it. But seeing you again made me understand what I had lost.” He takes a deep breath and moves his body to come closer to yours, still ignoring every word that you said. “I still love you. Please, y/n…”

“Don’t do that.” 

In a second, you’re out of his arms. Hyunjin blinks, seeming lost, and you scoff. His hand that previously was on your face now is hanging in the air, as you slapped it away. You see from the corner of your eye people hushing around both of you, trying to peep, but you ignore them easily.

“A year passed, and you still don’t understand anything, Hyunjin!” You almost spit the words, glaring at him. “You were the one who broke up with me. You were the one who said you deserve someone better than me, who said that I wasn’t enough for you. You also were the one who thought that I had sex with my childhood friends— oh god, that makes me sick just remembering it— and forced me to choose between them and you!”

“I’m sorry—”

“No, you’re not.” You hiss lowly, self-conscious of the fact that you were still in the gym. “Did you know? Since last year, I have been trying to understand what went wrong with us. I cried, every fucking night for two months after we broke up. I thought the problem was me— Hell, you made sure to highlight in your speech that day—, and for a long time, I hated myself for not being enough! Then, when I thought I was getting better, you come out of nowhere to suddenly say you regret everything? Fuckin’ shit—!”

You’re crying. You realize that too late, aggressively wiping your tears with your blazer. A quick turn of neck and you also realize that, gladly, people didn’t make a crowd around you. However some of the students noticed the argument and were stealing sneaky glances. 

“But in the end, I have to thank you.” You don’t see around any of your friends, and you’re lowkey glad for that. “If you weren’t such a shithead and said all those things now— I think I would’ve never really understood what everyone always says about you, Hyunjin. Hell, you don’t even care about me, you just want someone to kiss your fucking feet!”

You take a deep breath and you’re more than ready to continue your monologue, exposing yourself emotionally after everything, but a hand on your shoulder breaks you from the rush of adrenaline, bringing you down from the adrenaline in your blood.

“That’s enough, y/n…” Mark whispers, squeezing your shoulder as a reassurance, and you’re startled by his sudden appearance. You inhale and let out another sigh, wiping your face again, trying to remove all traces of the previous breakdown. “You made your point, hm? By now, I think Hyunjin understands that things won’t end well if he tries to approach you again.”

You let out a chuckle unintentionally with his slightly threatening tone and both of you walk away from Hyunjin, Mark’s arm wrapped around your shoulders to carefully guide you between the students, knowing that you weren’t paying attention to anything right now. 

You’re lightheaded and a mess of emotions inside. You feel like you’ve said too much, that you exposed ugly parts of yourself that you’d rather no one knowing about it, but you also feel like you didn’t rant enough to be satisfied. Many words are stuck in your throat, feelings that you would’ve preferred to be thrown on Hyunjin’s face like a petty revenge, just to see him flinch, instead of being bottled up inside.

But you’re okay. It hurts, but your heart is slowly healing. You’ll be okay.

“By the way, I already asked, but Mrs. Park won’t let us skip off the slow dance practice… And almost everyone already has a pair, so…” Mark says sheepishly and you let a small smile appear on your face. He shyly offers you his hand, the other one behind his back like a gentleman. You carefully put your hands on top of his, finding amusement on how his doe eyes widen, as if he didn’t expect you to actually take him. 

“I guess we’re stuck together” You complete his sentence shyly

You would kill yourself if anyone else had seen you in this vulnerable state, but when it’s Mark, you guess that you don’t mind his company.

1 Month Until Graduation

It’s been a while since you last used the school’s music room. Senior year and exams were taking a toll on you, even if you tried to deny it, and you almost had no time to properly have fun. 

But exams were over. All you had to do now was wait for the results— and find someone to take you to prom, but you didn’t want to think about that.

“Hi, sweetie-pie!” You say, in a honey-filled tone that would make yourself gag if it were in another situation

“What the fuck, y/n—”

“Shut up, I wasn’t talking to you!” You snap at Renjun, looking at the piano again changing back your expression to the loving one. You lean on the black, elegant, and probably expensive instrument that the school had, giving it a full peck on the lid. “Oh, my love, I missed you too much~ I’m really sorry for not visiting you soon”

Renjun furrows his eyebrows and pretends to puke with your antics and you let out a big laugh by that. He has a paper on his hands with a big logo full of mandarin characters on behind and he stares intensely at it, as if he wished it could bring itself to life and give him the answers he needed. You sit on the piano stool silently, your hands moving swiftly through the keys in a warm-up, without actually playing any song.

“I actually feel like Kelsi” You hum, your voice taking him out of his concentration on the paper. 

“Who?” He raises his eyebrows, confused

“High School Musical. The pianist, shy girl.” Renjun sighs heavily and you giggle at his tired eye roll

“After all these years, you still reference High School Musical at every fucking opportunity you get” He complains, making you grin

“Of course!” You beam, your hands producing a soothing and calm background noise. “We like music. Also, we’re in high school. And, the cherry on top: some of our squad are on the school’s Basketball team, the most cliche thing to ever happen. It’s almost a sign from the gods, saying ‘Do it!’. It’s only natural that I should be following the legends’ example, right?”

“No” He deadpans

“Ah, okay then,” You say, pouting. You shift your attention to the piano again, “I won’t sing or play to you anymore!— You’re also banned from this room. Yeah, yeah, that sounds right— Leave, you’re not allowed to listen what I’m going to play!”

“If you sing any of High School’s discography again, I swear to god—” he ignores your childsh remarks, scoffing and mumbling quite bitterly, also appearing on your peripheral vision and sitting beside you on the bench. You drop the brat attitude and stop playing for a second, making a comfortable silence fill the room. 

“No, it’s not that” Your tone is uncharacteristically soft. You watch as recognition flares in Renjun’s eyes right in the firsts notes you play, and you look away. “It’s been a long day, without you my friend.”

“And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again” He joins in, the harmonization of both of your voices not failing to make a chill run down your spine. The good kind of chill. You let him continue the song, bobbing your head and smiling slightly. “We’ve come a long way from where we began. Oh I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. When I see you again”

“Damn. Who knew? All the planes we flew, good things we've been through. That I'll be standing right here, talking to you about another path. I know we loved to hit the road and laugh. But something told me that it wouldn't last, had to switch up, look at things different, see the bigger picture. Those were the days, hard work forever pays. Now I see you in a better place” He raps, but his voice lacks the edge that a rapper normally displays. Instead, his tone is soft, almost singing rather than rapping. That style suits him, you think.

“How could we not talk about family, when family is all we got? Everything I went through you were standing there by my side. And now you gonna be with me for the last ride” You join him, even if your voice is on the weaker side as you’d have liked to let him have this moment solo. He notices this and nudges you, signalling to take the next part.

“So let the light guide your way, yeah… Hold every memory as you go” You sing with confidence and emotion, your voice vibrating, but not cracking. You lock eyes with Renjun, hoping that he could understand all of your feelings. “And every road you take, will always lead you home… Home”

“It’s been a long day, without my friend. And I’ll tell you all about when I see you again… When I see you again.”

Your hands leave the piano and fall limp at your sides. You purse your lips, feeling your eyes starting to water and you suddenly can’t bear to maintain eye contact. Renjun has his neck upwards, looking to the ceiling.

“What’re you doing...? You look stupid...” You mutter, still mocking his position despite your own emotions. You watch him from the corner of your eyes, as a single stray tear escapes and he gulps. You feel yourself breaking apart with him, the pain in your chest being ten times more intense than when you broke up with Hyunjin last year.

“...nothing” He manages to say, his hand searching in the air for a few seconds before he catches your own, intertwining your fingers for reassurance. You also feel your throat closing and you finally let yourself cry, lowering your head and making your hair cover your face from the sides.

“...did you tell anyone yet?” You whisper, afraid that if you say the words out loud, they’ll be even more frightening. 

“...no.” He sobs, covering his face with his other hand. You whip your head back, throwing all your hair behind your neck and rubbing your own palms harshly through your face as if punishing them for breaking down would solve anything. “I don’t even know what to do yet… I don’t want to leave, but—” 

Renjun leans his head on your shoulder, crying freely. You wonder, if the pain on your chest was already insufferable, how was he feeling? You didn't want him to leave, and neither did he wanted to do so, but if things were to this point… How could you ask him to stay? How could you be selfish?

Reality was cruel. Renjun was an exchange student. Deep down, you already knew since the beginning that things weren’t set to be permanent. You knew that he wasn’t like Chenle, whose parents came to live in Korea. Unlike you, Renjun had his own father, mother, sister and grandfather waiting for him to come back to home. Knowing that, how could you hope for him to stay?

You bring him to a tight hug, burying your head on his shoulder and crying your eyes out. You didn’t want to, but you started to fear the future. You wanted time to stop, to never graduate, to never go to college, so you all of you could be together without worries. You were being selfish and you also knew that, but you couldn’t find in yourself the willpower to stop that ugly feeling.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” Renjun chants like a mantra, and you feel a wet patch on the fabric of your shoulder. You don’t mind, as your tears had already formed a bigger stain on his blazer.

“This is not a goodbye” You choke, swallowing with difficulty “We’ll see each other again”

3 Weeks Until Graduation

“Mrs. Park asked me if we could do something to perform in prom” You say as you enter the music room, counting the presence of all seven heads before nodding satisfied to yourself.

“And why should we do that?” Hyuck whines, laying down on the couch and facing you upside down “School is almost over, she can’t bribe us with extra points!”

“Well, I think we all forgot that Chenle and Jisung aren’t seniors, and theoretically, can’t attend prom—” You giggle nervously, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear “But Mrs. Park said that if the music club performs, she can let it slide”

“It’s not that bad” Jaemin arches his eyebrow, glancing at the two youngsters and shrugging it off “We were planning on sneaking them from the kitchens, but this works too— It also prevents anyone from getting to jail from food poisoning”

“What the fuck Jaemin” You deadpan, the boy just sending you a peace sign. For the sake of your mental health, you decide to ignore that for a while.

“But it’s still such a bitch” Donghyuck sighs, rolling his body so he is now with his belly on the sofa. He supports his hands on his elbows in the classic flower position, which, may you add, makes him appear more innocent than he’ll ever be. “We have 3 weeks to come up with something original? Are you kidding me?”

“She said it’s alright if we cover something, as long we perform it live” You explain, breathing deeply to not lose your patience

“But it’s no fun if we do it like that~~!”

“Then why are you complaining in first place?!” You bicker, glaring when Donghyuck smirks, fluttering his eyelashes innocently. You roll your eyes and flip him off, making him snort.

“What are you? Five?” Renjun deadpans, shoving the other male on the side. Hyuck pouts, sending finger hearts at him(Renjun ignores all of it.)

“Guys, I think I have something—”

“We all know Lee Haechan has a single-digit IQ” Jeno mocks, earning another whine from Hyuck.

“Don’t use my artistic name like that!”

“Artistic my ass” You pretend to cough, “It’s more like a nickname you made when you were in middle school because you thought it was cool, but backfired badly when you grew up"

“Who even calls themselves Full Sun?” Renjun teases. Donghyuck gasps dramatically, fully sitting up so he can put his hand on his chest.

“Excuse me, Haechan is a fucking amazing name!” He pouts, his reaction making you snort ungracefully

“Guys—”

“Hey, children, let’s stop bullying your friend~” Jaemin speaks in his aegyo tone, taking Donghyuck’s cheeks in his hands and making kissing faces at him “Let’s spread love~”

“No, fuck! Mooooooooom! Save me!” Hyuck screams, terrified. You smirk amusedly and finally turn to Mark, who had already given up on trying to speak. 

“Sorry, what was it?” You tilt your head, noticing the papers in his hand. You take a seat on the office chair beside him, sneaking a glance through the computer and the music files in it. You don’t understand anything about producing, but Mark was good at it, so all of you could record songs even if you were just highschoolers. 

“I have something in my drafts that could help us” He says, giving you the paper with the lyrics on it. Both of you ignore the chaos rising behind you, already being used to the loudness that came up with your group. 

You raise your legs into the chair, sitting cross legged, leaning slightly forward. You don’t even notice yourself resting the back of your hand on Mark’s thigh, fingers playfully wiggling around as a silent request for him to take his hands in yours. He takes your demand in no time, tangling his fingers smoothly with yours in a firm, but gentle grip. You smile at that, a warm feeling consuming your body entirely.

“Puzzle piece? That sounds cute” You giggle, watching as Mark clicks in a file that you see that hasn’t been edited in more than a month. He stretches out for a headphone, putting it on your ears carefully before starting the track. The entire time your eyes are glued to his face, observing each feature in him as he’s distracted. Suddenly, you’re afraid of being caught staring for more time than it should be considered okay for friends, so you quickly turn your eyes to the computer, feeling your chest bubble with something you quite don’t know what it is.

“I started working on it before finals, but I didn’t do much because I had to study” He explains as you squint your eyes through the multiple layers and notes that you didn’t understand. Your eyes travel again to the lyrics sheet, a smile spreading in your lips unconsciously.

“You’re my missing puzzle piece~ Finally I solved it. You filled every piece of my heart, even the scarred part of it to the fullest. And somehow, you’ve become my everything, my missing puzzle piece” You test, the lyrics leaving your mouth quite smoothly with the incomplete song melody. “I liked it” You say, spinning your chair to face the dreamies again, noticing that they had calmed down and were quietly enjoying your voice. You feel shy with the sudden attention and you clear your throat with your fist in front of your mouth to hide it, passing the lyrics sheet to Jisung, who’s the closest. You lowkey miss the feeling of Mark’s hand trapped in yours, and that realization makes you even more shy. You take a deep breath, calming yourself down.

“Jaemin and I to wrote the lyrics” Jeno announced proudly, Jaemin nodding with him

“You did a good job” You smile proudly, raising a high five to both of them. Jaemin came to hit his hand with yours, but you troll him in the last second, changing your fingers to scissors. 

“You’re impossible” He deadpans and you roar with uncontrollable laughter. Jeno smirks, giving Jaemin sympathetic pats on the back

"I did something just for the overall feeling, but it's pretty nothing yet" Mark says, not seeming to be affected by the general chaos. "But I think we can finish it in less than a week? So there will be time to practice,"

“So, what were you thinking about? The melody, I mean” Chenle asked and you gave space for him to come closer, moving your chair. Mark pulled out his guitar supporting it on his thigh.

“Mostly C, E, A minor, G and F” He says the accords as he plays, switching the order to get other verses, but not playing any note besides those. The difference between stroking up and down the strings, along with the occasional change of chords are enough to bring a simple and aesthetic feeling. “Since it’s more in the heartwarming side, I think we could try for an acoustic vibe, y’know?”

“It’s good” Renjun nods, holding the sheets. “”Hello, it’s been so long, isn’t it?” The small piece that I put in my pocket and carry around everywhere, please be with me so it can be fuller and prettier. Na Jaemin, what the fuck are these—”

“Hey!” He protests, pouting “What’s wrong with my lyrics?”

“It’s cringy as fuck”

“The whole song is cringy as fuck, I don’t see your point here, hyung” Jisung mocks, and you giggle, agreeing with him

“But it’s cute” Chenle shakes his head, smiling slightly. “More than having everything, not losing that one thing is more important.” He reads the lyrics, nodding along

“Whoop whoop— Who were you thinking about when you wrote it, hm,~~? Was it me?” Hyuck leans down to support his weight on Jeno’s back, much to the other boy's dismay. 

“Ah. I won’t say, you’ll tease me to the end of the world” He sighs, earning a giggle.

“I knew it!” He exclaims, deep down already knowing the answer without even asking. 

"Ah, shut it, will ya?" Jeno grunts, rolling his eyes. "It's not about just one single person. It's more about us. There's eight of us, a pretty big group, might I say, but it somehow feels empty if a single person is missing. That's why, Missing Puzzle Piece"

"Wow." You say, caught off guard. Your lips curve upwards and there is a soft look in your eyes as you take in Jeno's flustered face by his own confession. "Why are you so good at writing lyrics?" You tease him lightheartedly.

"Maybe it's because Lee Jeno is the most awkward person I have ever seen" Renjun ponders, smirking.

"Nah, that's just Mark. Jeno comes in a second close, he's more like, the type that doesn't know how the fuck are you supposed to express yourself" You argue, Renjun having no choice but to agree with you.

"He's one of those talented composers that uses music to confess their feelings!" Chenle giggles like a teenager girl, poking Jeno's biceps. The latter has a suffering expression, apparently, giving up on having a peaceful environment.

"I can totally see Jeno using music to confess to someone" Jisung ponders out loud, making you cackle. "Imagine this: it's two am, Jeno has a guitar on his lap and is sitting on the couch. In front of him, on the center table, are Seol, Lal and Bongshik. They're the only ones he loves anyway, so he's serenading them!"

You think you're having an aneurysm from the intensity you laugh and shake your shoulders, feeling your belly burn with every snort you let out. Your eyes travel across the room and they stop at Mark’s expression, admiring how his muscle faces contort with every laugh that escapes from his lips. 

“Ah, fuck, why am I being so attacked right now?” Jeno curses, slightly pissed but his body completely still against the couch.

“Don’t worry, Jeno-ah, everyone has their moments” Donghyuck teases. Jeno narrows his eyes at him, gripping his shoulder in a tight grip and applying force enough to make the other boy whine, while giggling happily “Ah, ah, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please, don’t— Ack!”

“We’re getting off track” Mark warns, although his smile reveals that he’s having fun watching Hyuck suffer. “Guys, let’s focus right now, right? We can mess later”

You’re scared of what this fuzzy feeling in your chest means. But at the same time, you feel safe, as nothing in the world could hurt you. It’s a giant mess of feelings that you didn’t want to tackle right now, so you just let it be.

2 Weeks Until Graduation

All of you were reunited in Chenle's backyard. His house was big enough for you to decide suddenly that you wanted to do a sleepover— More exactly, you wanted to sleep outside. The first option was to go to a beach, but you still had school to attend, so camping on the grass with multiple tents set up seemed fair enough. (Also, Chenle’s parents were the only ones that had a house big enough for eight teenegers and didn’t care if those eight teenagers were screaming and being hormonal kids)

Three tents were set up. You didn’t mind sharing with one of the boys, but Mrs. Zhong was really worried, so you decided to at least give her some peace of mind. You had the smallest tent to yourself, while Chenle and Jisung shared another small one and the others shared the large one. Mark brought his guitar from home and was mindlessly playing with the strings, producing a soothing background music to fulfill the silence. The rest of you were sprawled on the grass, looking at each other, or in your case, the starry sky. There were some lamps on the outside of the house, but you guys chose to put a cheap yellow lantern in the middle of the circle just to set up a sappy mood, almost like a city-version of camping. 

“Did you guys get your exam results?”

For almost a month, all eight of you made a silent deal to never mention college and exam results. It was painful to even consider that you weren’t going to see each other every day, so it was easier to pretend that it wasn’t going to happen any soon. That, and you were silently trying to not upset Jisung. The episode of three months ago was still clear in your head— you hated yourself for it, but his words messed with your emotions. It was hypocritical as fuck of you to assure him that everything was going to be okay when even you didn’t know if it was true or not. You didn’t spill the tea directly to Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Donghyuck or Jaemin, but they already knew that Jisung and Chenle were highkey worried about all of you graduating. 

So, when Jisung finally addressed the elephant in the room— To say that you were tense was an understatement.

“I passed. Seoul National.” Jaemin breaks the silence, a grin on his face. 

“What?!” You exclaim, immediately rolling around so you were on your belly and you could face him. You had the biggest and proudest smile on your cheeks. 

“SNU? Wow” Jeno exclaims, punching him on the shoulder, being joined by both Renjun and Donghyuck. Jaemin whines, but his smile never leaves his lips even once.

“That’s amazing!” You feel your shoulder relax a bit at the news, beaming at him. 

“Yeah. And it’s not that far either” Jaemin adds, you notice that Renjun’s expression falters a bit. You don’t dare to mention his change out loud. At least not for now.

“It’s not a big one like Jaemin, but I passed too. Hanyang University. I tried for Architecture, actually. Changed my mind at the last second.” Jeno giggles shyly and you also beam at him.

“What do you mean ‘it’s not big’?” You whine, being your turn to slap his thighs. “It’s seventh in South Korea! Be more proud of it!”

“I thought you were going to go after basketball” Mark wonders, tipping his head

“I was.” Jeno shrugs at him. “But there are a lot of things to take into consideration when you choose a sports career. The most obvious of them is height, and well— I have 1.77. It’s pretty good for the average korean man, but I don’t think I would’ve made it into a basket team.”

“Ah, true. That sucks, tho” Chenle groans, tucking his leg into himself. “I have 1.78. It’s not a lot either.”

“It happens.” Jeno finishes “I’m not upset about it, actually. I’m really looking forward to study architecture— I have an uncle that works at a construction company and if I do well, he said that he can take me under his wing”

“Well, as long you’re satisfied—” Hyuck pats his back, also using the situation to snuggle into him. “We’re happy for you”

“Thanks” He smiles, his eyes turning into small moons. 

“Music, Sungkyunkwan University. ” You take the cue, announcing proudly with a peace sign. “It’s not the closest, but still is around Seoul, so it’ll be okay. At most i’ll have to take long rides on the train to meet you guys, so it still works”

“Sungkyunkwan is awesome” Jisung’s eyes sparkle and you let out a shy chuckle, nodding “I want to try for them next year, but I’m not really sure”

“Whoa, imagine that? Park Jisung as my super duper cute junior?” You tease, poking his leg. Jisung makes a face at you and you laugh.

“Well, for me, I’m at Kwangwoon. I’m going for Journalism and communications” Donghyuck announces, pulling you closer and forcing you to sit up for him to sneak his arm around your shoulders. “It’s far as fuck from the other Universities here in Seoul, but at least, we’re close.” He says that last part directed at you, making you nod.

“I passed in Music in Chung-ang” You widen your eyes at Mark, but not in the good way

“You’re going to Anseong?” Your voice wavers, but he just chuckles.

“Nope. They have a Seoul campus.” He explains, chuckling “If you guys think Kwangwoon is far, just wait until you see on the map where it’s located—”

“I’m going back to China.”

Mark’s voice dies and you almost break your neck with the speed you turn to look at Renjun. His gaze is fixed on the grass, not daring to maintain eye-contact with anyone.

“Sorry...” He mumbles. Before you can say anything, he sniffles and wipes a stray tear. “I— My parents—” Jaemin engulfed him in a tight hug. Renjun buries his head on Jaemin’s shoulders, sobbing. You don’t even notice when the tears start to flow down your own cheeks.

“It’s okay… We aren’t mad, Injunnie…” Jaemin soothes, tapping the other male’s back.

“It’s just that... I miss them… Too much”

Renjun was an exchange student, you remember again for the nth time this month. His parents still are in China. He was living almost three years on his own, going home only on holidays. You can’t even imagine what he’s thinking or feeling, being conflicted between his biological family and his heart family.

“I got into Sichuan Conservatory of Music. They’re great and have an interdisciplinary background in music and art, so I was really conflicted, but—” He chokes. Chenle and Jisung also come closer to comfort him as he talks. ”I spoke with my mom. She said I could choose to stay in Korea if I really wanted to, but I miss her and my dad too much”

“Oh, Injunnie, that’s amazing…I’m proud of you”  Jeno encourages and you lift yourself from the ground, immediately tackling Renjun, hugging him from behind. After a few seconds, everyone is in a big and messy group hug. You hope that Renjun doesn’t care about tear stains on his shirt the next day.

“When are you leaving?” Jisung’s questions break your heart in countless pieces, making you bury your face even more in Renjun’s back.

“Three weeks after graduation.” He mumbles almost incoherently and you sniff.

The hug lasts a good ten minutes before Jisung complains that his back was hurting from bending it to reach Renjun’s height, making everyone let out a good laugh. Renjun wipes his face and you follow his example. His face is slightly swollen and his eyes are red. You notice that Donghyuck also has reddish eyes, but you don’t comment on that because you’re also certain that you look worse. Jeno was trying to hold it together, but even he couldn’t hide the sorrow in his eyes. Jaemin was consoling Jisung, who was still sobbing despite the earlier joke, rubbing the younger one’s shoulder. Chenle had an arm loosely above Renjun’s shoulders, not crying, but obviously affected by the news. Mark sighs loudly and takes back his guitar, back to playing some random tune on it, trying to make the atmosphere less depressed and awkward.

“There isn’t a campfire here, but…”

You recognize the first strums, as your lips quirk up.

“Camp rock? Really?” You laugh, but your chest starts to grow warm with the choice of music “That’s, like, the cheesiest thing in the story of cheesy things.”

“I hate to admit, but it fits the moment.” Jaemin mutters, a teasing tone. 

“Shut it, both of you” Mark scolds slightly, but you just widen your smile.

“So let’s sing na, nanananana, hey~, yah” Donghyuck starts. He makes eye contact with Mark, and both grin. Mark joins him, their voices blending softly in the night “C’mon and sing na, nananana, hey, ya.”

You sigh, pretending to be annoyed, but the smile on your face can’t fool anyone.

“This is our song, that’s all it matters, cause we all belong, right here together, there’s nothing better than singing along~ This is our summer” You grin, maintaining eye contact with Mark and Donghyuck at all times. “This is our song”

“And this is our song~” When all of your voices join, you can’t help but to feel emotional. All of your hands (except Mark’s) maintain a nice rhythm, clapping as your voices fill up the backyard. Hyuck takes charge of the adlibs, his honey-tone enhancing everyone and perfectly synergizing with all the voices.

You take a look at everyone’s faces. There’s a kind of understanding, even if no one said anything out loud. The song is happy, but it holds an emotional baggage to it as each one of you already knows that you won’t be able to sit down and sing carelessly like this in the future. 

You all sang multiple times together. None of you were professionals yet, but you liked to think that music had an important role in holding your friendship together. You couldn’t count the amount of random moments when one of you was humming a song, and out of nowhere, there was a full choral singing, even if it was the silliest song humankind has ever produced.

“This is our song…” Mark finishes, his hand falling limp on his lap. 

“Wow. Out a whole list of emotional, happy, but sad songs to choose from, you take one from Camp Rock.” Jisung sasses, even if it’s clear that his words don’t hold a real bite. “Real shitty taste, if I must say, even more for someone who’s going to take music”

“Excuse me? Camp Rock is great!” He defends, offended. You giggle at that.

“You’re going to be a professional musician one day. You’ll write your own songs, right? If you don’t do anything else inspired by us, I swear to god, I’m ending this friendship” You joke, nudging his side. 

“I’ll think about it” He smiles at you, making your chest fill up with warmth. His fingers suddenly pause the music and you watch as he gulps nervously and looks directly at the eyes of everyone “Even if we’re physically distant from one another, let’s try to be in touch, right?”

“Yeah…” You mutter along the boys and you lift your head so you’re staring at the stars. They twinkle and shine at you, almost as if they understand the bittersweet situation you have on your hands.

“Markie-poo” The older boy is startled as Hyuck brings back the old nickname he had given him when they were children. “Why don’t you do a chant for all of us?” 

“What— Why me?” He whines and you chuckle.

“You’re the oldest. It only feels right.” Jeno interferes, half teasing, half touched. 

“C’mon, Markie-hyung~~” Jaemin shakes his shoulders, forcing aegyo with a full pout that makes you cringe. Mark groans, shaking his head,

“Ah, you guys—” He scolds, but there is a fond smile on his cheeks. You smile, taking your time to admire your friends.

When you first met Mark, you thought that he was a goody two-shoes. You were ten, and at that time, you were constantly upset with him because he was the type of student that would remind the teacher that she had passed homework last week(and you also weren’t the type that would actually do your work sheet). You don’t even remember when you two started to be actually friends, and you don’t even know where you would be right now if you didn’t have him in your life. 

Jaemin and Jeno kind of came like a package. You’d known them since you were children— since you were five, actually. You remember playing with them sometimes in the playground, bickering because you thought insects were gross, while they loved to hunt for butterflies and bugs. Sadly, you’d moved from the neighborhood when you were eight, and your parents decided that the tiny house wasn’t enough for them. Despite that, five years after that, you find them in the same school and class as you— Also, same class as Mark and Donghyuck. 

Although they were inseparable, they were different on their own. Jeno was more laid back, the chill kind of guy. His humor was underrated— but that was expected, considering that you had a lot of pranksters and screamers on your group—, his jokes sometimes passed over your heads as not everyone had enough braincells to actually understand.

Jaemin had some crazy mood swings. One day, he was the calmest person to ever exist, and another, he spoke as if he was high on drugs and would say questionable things. He was either a patient and loving guy, or he would nag you until you rip your ears off. It was slightly unsettling how good he was at reading you and giving advice, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You hated Donghyuck at first. He was a cool guy that made everyone laugh, but you couldn’t stand his teasing jokes at some moments. You and him formed a friendship only when he dropped his carefree mask. You found him crying behind the bushes of the garden because of a mean comment some kid made when they thought he wasn’t listening. In fifteen minutes of real, heart-to-heart conversation, you’d finally seen that he wasn’t just a jokester, and he wasn’t always happy, like everyone else assumed.

Chenle came when you were 13. He was a cute junior, but he had slightly language barrier problems because he didn’t know how to speak korean well. As a canadian kid himself(but living in Korea since he was a child), Mark took upon himself to help Chenle adapt to school, even if their languages weren’t the same. You thought that Chenle was cute— and that didn’t change even now, almost in adulthood—, and you did all you could to help him. He was thrilled and hyped for everything, making your heart melt for him like ice cream on a sunny day.

Jisung came almost at the same time as Chenle. Both of them were in the same class, and Chenle took the other boy to meet his older friends when he realised that Jisung hadn’t any friends in school. Your mother instincts were activated almost instantly. He looked up at you as an example (you were a mess at studying and procrastinated to do every single assignment, but he still idolized you) and you pushed yourself to not disappoint him. You and Jaemin also bickered, trying to compete for Jisung’s love, but at some point you had achieved a mutual agreement of sharing his heart—much to Jisung’s dismay.

Renjun came much later, in freshman year of high school. He first met Chenle, as both of them were chinese, but he had more practice in speaking korean then the other boy at the time he had arrived. He was the one you clicked with the quickest. You thought that he was a shy, innocent boy at first, but his witty remarks matched perfectly your group dynamics, and everyone warmed up to him in no time. 

For three years, the group was complete. You took them for granted— You thought you were going to be each other’s anchor for the rest of your lives, and you’d never separate even if you had the biggest fight. You didn’t consider that you didn’t need a fight to go on different paths. 

The sound of bickering and teasing was so familiar to your ears that you were afraid of the future, when you wouldn’t hear Chenle’s high pitched laugh, or Jaemin’s whines and aegyo everyday. Or Donghyuck’s teasing, Renjun’s sass and Jeno’s deep chuckles. You wouldn’t witness Jisung’s nose crunching when he cringes, or Mark’s entire face blushing when he was embarrassed. You would lose that.

Maybe you were being dramatic. It’s not like any of you were dying— You just were going to college, for fucks’ sake. But you couldn’t help the painful squeeze of your chest, as you were missing something that was still here.Renjun was staying in Korea for 3 weeks after graduation. That gave you exactly a month until you’d have to say goodbyes. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll do it.” Mark gave in. He straightened his posture. “Yo dream!”

A single tear made his path down your cheek, but you didn’t bother to wipe it off.

“Jjeoreo! Juja! Fighting!”

You still had time

Five Days Until Graduation

“Hm, hi—”

“It’s three am,” You state groggily, “Why the fuck are you calling me at three fucking am, Mark Lee?”

You hear a gulp and the line stays silent for a whole minute. You close your eyes for a few seconds, dazed, not even registering the time passing as you’re half asleep. Mark finally speaks after two minutes

“—an we meet up?”

“...what?”

“I said, can we meet up?” He repeats, slightly exasperated. You yawn and he sighs. “It’s important, I swear,”

“...how important…?” Your voice is muffled by the pillows and Mark can’t help but to release a deep chuckle. You swear you’re in dreamland again, as you think that his laugh had some kind of spell that made your entire body relax at the same instant.

“I’m at the front of your home” Your eyes are wide and you immediately jump out of the bed, kicking the warm covers to the floor and rushing to your window. You push the curtains, looking through the glass

“What the fuck— Mark, why are you outside? What in the world—”

“It’s okay. Just come down, please…”

Your eyes soften and you sigh. You have known Mark Lee for more than nine years by now. You were sure you could recognize every emotion that passed in his eyes— That’s why you believe that he holds some kind of emotion that you’re not even aware of, and he desperately wants to hide it from the world. It’s almost like you’re in middle school again, when he lied about being fine, and insisted on being the perfect student, overworking himself to the limit and refusing to admit that he was human too and was likely to fail sometimes.

But it’s also different this time. His chuckle is bittersweet, most likely not sincere, but it’s not a hundred percent fake. The only thing is you can’t point out why you think that.

“Also, it’s cold outside, so wear something warm, okay?” He adds, interpreting your silence as agreement. You catch a hoodie that was thrown on your chair and you wear it over your pajamas, putting your fluffy slippers on your feet. 

You quickly go downstairs, not really caring if you made any noise. Your parents weren’t home anyways, so you didn’t have to worry about that. You unlock your door, only to see Mark in your yard, staring at the road. He’s not looking at the cars, you realise, he’s looking at the stars. Mark has only a white t-shirt, jeans and a black blazer that you guess that doesn’t do wonders, considering the way he hugs himself searching for warmth.

“Wear something warm, that’s what he said” You mock him, but deep down, you’re slightly concerned.  “What are you doing? Come inside, quick!”

“Sorry” He apologises, but you give a light slap on the shoulder as he passes by, muttering something about he shouldn’t apologise under your breath. He makes a beeline for your couch, hiding his face in his hands that were supported on his thighs.

“What’s up with you and Jisung, coming at my home late at night for pep talks?” You try to joke, failing as your voice cracks. Your chest is squeezing and you feel like you can’t breathe properly even if Mark hasn’t said anything yet

“I’m sorry” He mumbles again. You bit your lower lip, frowning.

“It’s all right, you know I don’t mind if you guys decide to raid my home at random times—”

“It’s not that... I’m going back to Vancouver.”

You go blank. Mark raises his head, doe eyes wavering. He’s not crying, but all the pain and despair are clear in his gaze.

“W-what…” Your own eyes are wide. You feel your throat dry and you can’t think of any words that made sense to be spoken out loud, the living room suddenly spinning and closing on you. “As a travel…?” You know it’s not, but you still hoped that, somehow, you had overanalyzed and misunderstood all of his red flags.

“No… I’m moving”

You suddenly can’t breathe. You stumble back to the table room, your knees giving up and forcing you to sit on the glass. The first tears drop from the corner of your eyes, but you barely register them.

“Fuck, I’m sorry—” Mark pleads again, standing up and walking around the room nervously. “I wanted to go to college with you guys— or at least be here in Korea, but—” He massages his forehead, hands dropping down to his lower face to drown a scream.

You force your legs to stand up, slightly wobbling in your steps as you walk to him. You launch yourself at him, circling your arms in his waist and clutching him as if your life depended on that, drowning yourself in the sensation of being squeezed between his own embrace while you had the chance to.

“It’s my grandma,” He talks after recovering his composure, burying his chin on your shoulders. You lay your forehead on his collarbone, afraid of letting him see your own despair “She has alzheimer. We thought she was doing okay, but last night, my auntie called… She said that grandma had an episode. She wasn’t eating, and was almost forgetting how to breathe during her sleep, so she was rushed to the hospital” You finally feel his tears dripping down your hoodie and you raise your hands to his upper back, drawing circles on his skin. “Mum and auntie agreed that granny probably doesn’t have much time… So we’re going back.”

“W-when—” You choke on your saliva, moving away for a second so you could cough and wipe your ugly tears. Mark catches your hands in his, not wanting to completely cease contact “W-when you’re going?”

“...wednesday.”

“But that is—”

“Five— No, actually, four days from now.” His hold gets tighter and you slowly process the information.

“So… You won’t attend prom, right…?” You want to slap yourself for that question, shaking your head. His grandma is passing away and the first thing you say it’s about some stupid party. Wow, way to go, you thought bitterly. “Sorry, ya’ don’t need to answer that.”

“I’m sorry” he shakes his head

“Stop apologising!” You scold, breaking down in tears once more. You feel your shoulders shaking and you try to wipe your face again, but you can’t win against the flow down your cheeks. “It isn’t your fault, so stop being so sweet and caring and everything! Shit, why the fuck am I the one crying—?! I should be the one supporting you, not the other way around…I’m so stupid, why—”

“Don’t say that, you’re not stupid...” Mark brings you again to his chest and you sob, your fingers gripping the fabric of his t-shirt fearing for the future. His left hand snakes up to your neck, making you lean your head on his shoulder again as he plays with his fingers through your hair strands. “Prom is important, I know that… If I could choose, I’d stay one more day, just to wrap things up properly, but…”

He doesn’t finish his speech, his voice dying a bit. You feel a gentle tap on your shoulder, and the next thing, you’re staring directly at Mark’s eyes. Despite the overall depressing situation, he still gazes at you fondly, wearing his heart on his sleeve without any second thoughts. His hand is nothing but caring as he moves the hairs on your face behind your ear, leaving traces of warmth in your skin in the trail. He withdraws a bit, only enough to tinker with his phone quickly.

“Y’know… We were partners at that dance lesson a month ago... And since neither of us has gotten ourselves a date to prom, I guess we’re still in game, right?”

You recognize the first notes of Perfect easily. A little laugher escapes from your mouth, your lips curving themselves to match Mark’s own smile. He drops his phone somewhere on the couch and casually messes up his black hair, somehow managing to make himself twenty times more attractive than the usual, also making exaggerated motions of fixing his blazer before curving down to an elegant bow from the 90’s.

“It’s not exactly what I had in my plans, but…” He reaches out, his hand open right in front of you. “y/n...Can I have this dance?”

You wipe the corners of your eyes one more time before nodding quite shyly, which is a feeling so foreign that you suddenly don’t know how you’re supposed to act. Mark seems to notice that as he takes upon himself to connect your hands, his fingers intertwined with yours and his touch burning through your skin. He lets out a content hum, slowly taking some steps back to reach a free space, far from both the couch and the table. You watch mesmerized as he confidently guides your hands to his shoulders, his arms wrapping around your waist with ease, almost as if your bodies were meant to complete each other. 

You’re dumbfounded, to say, at least. It was almost as if the roles were reversed. Since you were children, you had always been the confident one, while Mark assumed the more awkward type of boy— You’d made fun of him more times than you could count, repeating the iconic quotes he spilled when he was pressured and nervous (“this is so high, it’s like my grades!”). Suddenly, he’s not horribly awkward with skinship anymore, and you don’t know what exactly to think. Did you like it? Yes. Did you hate it? Also, yes.

“Cause we were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was.I will not give you up, this time” You whisper the lyrics, swinging side-to-side. You don’t dare to sing the next verse, though. Mark nods, looking at you as if you were the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his whole life. His hands are nothing but gentle as he spins you around, something that was never taught in Mrs. Park’s class last month. 

You hate the things he makes you feel. Your heart is full, but at the same time, it crushes within itself painfully every single time you’re reminded that Mark is going back to Canada. His hands made your skin tickle— in the good way. It brings chills, because it’s cold, but it also is extremely warm. You’re hyper aware of his arms circling your waist tenderly, your fingertips squeezing his shoulder with tenderness. Deep down, you already know that this isn’t how friends would interact with each other, but you’re too afraid to acknowledge that, and eventually make things even more difficult.

“We are still kids, but we're so in love, fightin' against all odds… I know we'll be alright this time” He sings, his raspy voice echoing in the walls. You feel the tears coming back to your eyes, “Darling, just hold my hand, be my girl and I’ll be your man. I see the future in your eyes”

You’re tired of crying. You’re afraid that you were being overdramatic with all of this graduation thing, and for a second, you started to question if you were being annoying, all of your self-confidence dropping for a swift moment. You bring your arms upwards from Mark’s shoulders, wrapping them around his neck in a deep embrace, taking the opportunity to hide your face in his collarbones again. Mark lets out a tired sigh, unspoken words flowing around you with a deep melancholy. 

You’re tired of people leaving you behind, you finally realize. Some old memory comes flying in your mind, one time that Jeno mentioned that you might have some abandonment issues, and you had denied it back then with all your might. However, if he said the same thing to you today, you would have no choice but to agree with him.

First were your parents, who had never cared for you in the first place, leaving you behind while they went on long business trips since you were eight. Then your girl friends at middle school, who ganged up on you one day and said that you weren’t cool enough to hang out with them. Hyunjin, your ex, who made sure to blame you for all mistakes made in your relationship. Maybe all of that justified your anxiety of losing your friends, the only ones who had stayed until now. You knew that people could easily keep being friends, even if they were in different countries, because they had the internet to chat even if they were miles apart. A part of you screamed inside, extremely dull as you couldn’t help but to think that you wouldn’t talk to any of your friends if you weren’t in the same classroom everyday.

“We’ll be okay” Mark whispers in your ear, as if he could sense your thoughts going spiral. 

You close your eyes tightly, letting yourself imagine you and Mark, in prom, with fancy clothes. You imagine him wearing a tuxedo, leading you into the dance floor, the fabric of your dress swaying in the air as if you were in some kind of Hollywood movie. Your friends would be cheering you on, and everyone else from school would be looking at you dreamly, as if they wanted to be in yours or Mark’s place. 

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listenin' to our favorite song

When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful

I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight

Zero days until graduation

“Yah, if you don’t stop crying, your eyes will get so puffed that not even the best foundation in the world will help you” 

“What you’re talking about, Jaemin, I’m not crying—”

“Yeah, sure, everyone believes that—”

Your last week has passed in a blink of an eye. Before you could even process what was happening, you and the rest of your friends were in your house, drinking and spending your last hours with Mark before he had to leave for Canada.

It was dramatic. Since his flight was at 2 am (who the fuck thought that flights at 2 in the morning were a good idea?), you decided to spend the whole day together. Once every three hours, one of you would burst into tears, mainly you, Donghyuck and Jisung, the crybabies of the group. 

You didn’t go to the airport to see him off. In fact, Mark didn’t let any of you see him— He said it would be more painful that way. That didn’t prevent you from crying your eyes out anyway, and at this point, you think you actually dehydrated yourself from the alarming amount of tears you spent in the last 48 hours. 

“Fuck you then,” You hiss, hearing the laughters of Jaemin and Chenle from your computer. You were on discord, in a server that had all of you, including Mark. Just seeing his name appear on the members’ list made a jab straight into your chest, your eyes watering effortlessly. “—not gonna cry tonight. My tear ducts are dry already”

“I smell bullshit” Jisung pops out of nowhere and you sigh. 

“Anyway, not gonna happen. Not crying tonight, nuh-uh” You shake your head, slightly pissed “First, it’s extremely humiliating to cry on prom— Even more if you’re alone, that’s just… Sad.”

“And who the fuck said that?” Jisung roasts, making you sigh. Ah, so much for raising him, you think.

“I did” You counter, extremely concentrated on your current task: putting on your makeup. The boys were playing PUBG, not bothering to prepare themselves, for now. You still had more than four hours until prom, but you were anxious and couldn’t help yourself. “Whatever, what I’m trying to say here is that I won’t cry tonight. I don’t need to make everything more depressing than it already is, so I’ll just dance my worries away. It sounds like a good plan to me”

“Wow,” Chenle gasps suddenly, and you pause your artwork to briefly look at his icon flashing on your screen— A childhood picture of him holding a giant gun, smiling brightly as if nothing was happening. “Your levels of bullshit just hit the fan”

“Ah, you’re both so mean to me~” You whine, pouting even if they can’t see it. You’re unconsciously trying to deflect the situation, even if you’re not aware. “Both of you are younger than me, but why am I being so disrespected like that?”

“Because you’re lame” Jisung fires and you let out another whine. Chenle yells something about Jisung’s poop hands almost killing them on the game, but you’re not paying enough attention to understand whatever they’re arguing about.

“Okay, now, back to the topic,” Jaemin cleans his throat and you feel your shoulder tensing up. “I’m worried”

“You don’t need to, I’m fine” You’re a bit defensive. Jisung opens his mouth to say something sassy, but you don’t understand what he said, as Jaemin’s voice drowns him.

“I think we know each other long enough to know that’s completely, utterly, totally, entirely, absolutely full of bullshit”

“Wait, doesn’t all of that mean the exact same thing?” Chenle pipes up, confused. Jisung, Jaemin and you let out a synchronized sigh. Right, foreign problems.

“Like I said, you don’t need to worry, Jae” You spoke in a soft tone, halting your hand that was blending the foundation. “I will be fine, I guess. There’s not much to do about Renjunnie and Mark leaving anyway, so it’s no use to waste your time worrying about me.”

“Don’t put yourself down like that,” He scolds, but his words didn’t hold a real bite. It kinda reminds you of how a mother scolds her child— You didn’t actually experience that, but you suppose that’s how it’s meant to be. “It’s okay to feel hurt, even if there’s nothing to do about. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t bottle it up. Renjunnie was really worried these days, because you wouldn’t say anything about your feelings.”

“Yeah” Jisung butts in, only because he didn’t know what to speak, but he felt the need to be verbal. You can almost see Jaemin rolling his eyes in his house, but that thought doesn’t humor you like it should.

“Well, it’s just that...” You start, but you can’t find the exact words to express the mess in your head. “All of us are passing for the same thing, so I feel like it’s unfair of me to be complaining and crying at all times while you guys are not”

“And why the fuck do you think we don’t complain and cry at all times?” Jaemin is quick to counter, making you sigh for the nth time. “Hyuckie didn’t answer anyone yesterday because he was busy crying and eating ice cream while he watched Toy Story 3 and 4”

“Toy Story is sad, it’s normal” Chenle defends, as he cries every time single time too. 

“Yeah, he also cried over Spiderman: Far From Home and the last episode of ICarly. You know, the one when Carly goes to live with her dad and everything” Jaemin shrugs, but you don’t actually see it, you just imagine him doing that. 

“That’s tough, buddy” Jisung mutters

“Well, do you see a pattern there?” Jaemin continues, ever patient “That’s Hyuck’s way to cope with Mark leaving. He’s not that good either, but at least he lets himself feel bad and he talks to someone about what he’s thinking. That’s way more healthier than closing yourself and not talking at all, if you ask me.”

“So, do you want me to spill all my inner insecurities and ugly cry again?”

“Basically, yes”

“What the fuck Jaemin” All four of you chuckle at that, even if it wasn’t the best moment to actually be funny. Somehow, you feel a bit less overwhelmed with everything, as Jaemin’s words helped you understand that you weren’t being annoying, as your low self esteem suggested. You fall silent for some seconds, taking your time to process everything— Chenle shouts again at Jisung for dropping the wrong item and you take a deep breath, their casual bickering grounding you to reality. “... and thank you, I guess…”

“It would make me ten times happier if you kept on talking, but that’s also okay, I guess. Can’t have everything we want,” He jokes, using your own words and a light hearted nagging tone, making you smile a bit. “We can have more deep talk some other time, when you feel like you’re ready. Just, please, don’t cry again. You’re going to have giant dark circles and puffy eyes on prom night,”

“Fuck you, they’re not that bad” You pout, returning to your task of preparing your skin.

“By the way, do you want a ride? Jeno’s mum offered us,” Jaemin changes the topic and you can also hear shuffling and muffled voices in the back “Hey, auntie, I’m talking right now with y/n, can you say hi?”

“Oh, hi my dear!” Mrs. Lee says, giggling. Your heart warms up at the woman’s voice, her sweet image being always kept on your brain as a comforting one. “It’s been a long time since you last came to visit, right?”

“Yeah, since the beginning of the year” You nod, not registering that this was a call and no one could see you. “How are you, auntie? Are you good these days?”

 “Yes!” She shouted, her voice distant from the microphone. You heard water running, so you presumed she was washing something—Maybe the dishes? “I’m proud and very emotional today, you see. I remember taking watch over you, Jaemin-ah and Jeno when you were just children playing in the park, and today, you’re going to prom”

“Ah, yeah, auntie! About that, I was just convincing her to go to prom with us” Jaemin adds, and you can see his scheming face from miles away

“Oh, that’s right, dear!” Mrs. Lee agrees, the water dying down and her voice much closer this time. “Jeno told me your parents were in Japan this week, so we can take you and the boys. I will take a lot of photos, don’t worry!” She giggles and you smile

“Are you sure I won’t be a problem? I don’t want to intrude” You say shyly 

“Nonsense!” Mrs. Lee assures, her tone indicating there was no other option “It’s always good to see you, honey. Don’t tell Jeno, but I love you more than I love my own son~”

“What about me~~?” Jaemin whines, making you both chuckle. 

“At this point, I think you’re like our adopted son” Mrs. Lee muses out loud “Well, anyways, it’s been good to talk to you. I need to iron Jeno’s clothes, so we can speak later~ Ah, Jaemin, can you go bang on the bathroom’s door? Jeno’s taking too long on the shower!”

You chuckle as Mrs. Lee’s voice starts to fade in the background, the male probably walking off to the bathroom. Chenle and Jisung continue to bicker about PUBG, and right now, your heart is unexpectedly warm and fuzzy, unlike the feeling of emptiness you had until some hours ago.

“Yah, Park Jisung, how could you miss that shot?!”

“He was moving!”

“HE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!”

You and Jaemin snicker, amused with the duo’s antics. At some point, Chenle’s words became slurred enough for you to not understand his chinese accent, while Jisung kept making strange and confused noises. You hear some shuffling on Jaemin’s end, background voices, and something that seems like Jaemin taking off his headphones.

“Are you on the server?” You recognize Jeno’s voice and you suppress the urge to scream in everyone’s ears just to annoy him.

“Yeah? Why?” You doze off for a bit, staring at the wall in front of you expressionless. You don’t understand what Jeno says next, only waking up from your daydream when the Jaemin says “Hey, I’ll have to go now, and it’s better if the kids also start to get ready for prom too.”

“I’m not a kid anymore” Jisung mutters, and you can imagine the pout on his lips even if you don’t actually see it.

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that—” Jaemin snorts, “Anyways, y/n, I’ll text you later whenever we’re picking you up or if it’s better to come here to Jeno’s house”

“Tell them I said hi!” You hear Jeno scream and a smile pops up on your face without even realizing it.

“Jeno said he hates all of you” Jaemin lies shamelessly, and you hear the other boy screaming at him while he laughs his ass off. “Whatever, bye!”

The party was mesmerizing. 

You weren’t going to lie, you’d thought the school wouldn’t spend this much effort on prom, judging by the ex-students that graduated last year, who said the school barely paid any effort on decorating the hall. But his year, they seemed to be redeeming themselves for their previous mistake.

There was an elegant chandelier hanging from the ceiling right in the entrance, each shard reflecting a different light in the walls that made you mesmerized. The hall was decorated in golden tones, giving the ambient a luxurious vibe that really made everything feel like you were finally entering adulthood. Each table had a delicate flower arrangement with candles, which honestly, made you flabbergasted. 

The moment your eyes laid on the dancing floor, you felt an inexplicable unease deep down in your stomach. The lights were perfect, the DJ contracted by the school had only played good songs in the short five minutes you were in the party, and everything was absolutely flawless, so why were you upset?

“Do you miss him too?” Donghyuck’s quiet voice snaps you out of your trance, only then that both of you were frozen right in the entrance, where everyone was taking their pictures. You eye Chenle and Jisung, both going ahead, already saving a table for all of you. Their fancy tuxedo contrasted with their green and pink hair, making a funny sight overall.

“Stop talking like Mark is dead” Jeno laughs weakly, elbowing him. Renjun had his eyes lost in the view, obviously, head flying over the skies. It didn’t need a genius to guess what was going on inside his head.

“It feels incomplete” Renjun mutters, and you swear you saw his eyes watering. You purse your lips and look away, already feeling the emotions wanting to pour out. “I mean, we started as eight. Why are we ending with only seven?”

“Actually, we started with six— Chenle and Jisung are younger, even if we forget that sometimes” Jaemin shrugs off and Renjun rolls his eyes.

“You know what I meant, don’t try to be funny!” Renjun snarls, making grabby hands at Jaemin, wanting to choke him. 

“Well, let’s stop this depressing conversation. I miss Mark, but it’s really lame if we end in ugly tears right on prom night.” You finally say, taking a deep breath. To try to lighten up the mood, you smile teasingly “Ah, by the way, my mascara is waterproof, but I’m not sure about the rest of my makeup, so you fuckers better behave!”

“Won’t promise anything,” Donghyuck chuckles and you slightly slap him. He runs his hand through his hair, making a mess on top of his head, but you had to admit that he looked good that way “We have a show to do, right? Let’s do this, so we’re free to drink”

“They have drinks here?” Jeno raises his eyebrow, surprised. Hyuck smirks knowingly, a shit eating grin that you knew too well.

“Nah, I brought them” He snorted, and you couldn’t help but to laugh along. Chenle and Jisung came back, the latter without his blazer, as he used it to mark the table you were taking as occupied. At the sight of them, Hyuck smiles and raises his fist to the center, nudging everyone to form a circle. “Let’s do a cheer, hm?”

“Who will lead this time?” You can’t help but ask, a bittersweet feeling taking over your emotions. You observe quietly as they gaze at each other’s faces, silently debating who was the most proper one to take the honor. 

“You should take this one, noona,” Jisung says after seconds of silence, making you widen your eyes in surprise. 

“What?” 

“I agree,” Jeno nods approvingly, a proud smile on his face that you don’t quite understand. He exchanges glances with Jaemin, who has a similar expression on his face, and you can’t help but to feel left out of some hidden information both of them have. “It’s only right. The one to lead the cheer has to be some type of leader, and you fit that profile.”

“Ah, fuck” You raise your face suddenly, looking up to the ceiling and wiping tiny tears from the corner of your eyes. Your voice wavers a bit and you hear the boys laugh fondly, a tiny smile also appearing on your lips. “I said I wasn’t going to cry now, why the fuck are you guys making it so difficult for me?” You whine, sounding more like a crybaby than teenager-slash-adult.

“C’mon, let’s end this properly, right?” Renjun laughs and you feel his hand resting on your shoulder, squeezing it softly. You gulp, taking another deep breath and extending your fist alongside the other ones. Your hand is slightly smaller than theirs, but the image of them forming a circle is something you’ll certainly hold deep in your heart for a long time.

“Yo, Dream!”

“Jjeoreo! Juja! Fighting!”

“1, 2, 3… Testing, 1, 2, 3” You send Chenle a pointed look, but the boy just giggles cheekily. You shake your head, smiling with his antics, and you take your sweet time to adjust the microphone stand to your height. 

The lights dim slowly, until nothing could be seen upstage. You sigh, closing your eyes for a second and allowing yourself to take in all the things. Every student’s expectant gaze, some school staff and buffet staff who were also enjoying the moment and the weight of the future on your shoulders. All the uncertainty and fears you held deep inside your chest, along with the unsaid feelings for someone who was out of reach.

For three minutes and forty seven seconds, you let go of all of that. 

“As the world I’m heading towards and matching up to is getting bigger, it makes me feel an emptiness somehow”

“As if solving up the scattered pieces, we are matching up our stories. Inside the empty spot in my heart, there’s a piece called you taking place”

“You’re my missing puzzle piece, finally I solved it. You filled every piece of my heart even the scarred part of it to the fullest and somehow, you’ve become my everything. My missing puzzle piece”

“The fact that I have a flaw, the truth that I am imperfect. All of it makes me feel small. But in between those gaps, we can fill one another with it, so I don’t even realized that it was empty”

“More than having everything, not losing that one thing is more important. Through you, I came to know that”

“You’re my missing puzzle piece, very dazzling, it becomes one scene inside the world that I’ve been trying to put together alone. Like the hands that are interlocking tight together, because without you, it can’t be completed, so that we won’t lose each other, my missing puzzle piece”

The performance runs smoothly, your voices complementing each other in beautiful harmonies. You pour all of your emotions into each part, feeling like you’re letting go of a burden. When the music ends, you feel slightly lost, but at the same time, as if you’d never lose your direction in the future. 

"Thank you, the music club, for this heartwarming performance." The principal says as you leave the stage with a bow. He clears his throat to continue with his speech "Friendships like yours are beautiful and incredibly rare, so I advise you, young ones, to treasure all the tiny moments you spend with each of your friends. High School is the first time you came in contact with a bit of the adult world. And sadly, High School probably is the last time you're still able to be a kid freely, to live without worrying about responsibilities. From now on, you're adults. You're responsible for every action and every decision you take, being them wrong or rightful ones. You're free to choose whatever path you want to pursue in your life, and which ones you will want to have with you in your journey. Hard times will come— but don't forget everything you lived until now. It's okay to lean on your family and friends when things become too heavy to handle alone. Hold each other close, and I'll assure you, you're going to be fine"

You can't help but to feel touched by the principal's words. The corners of your lips curve upwards and you take a quick glance through the faces of your friends, memorizing them in your mind. 

"Okay, now I'm skipping the cheesy part. I'm sure no one wants to hear the long speech I prepared about college and responsibilities anyway" The principal fumbles with his papers comically, erupting a roar from the crowd. He smiles satisfied. "Now, for the interesting part you all waited for! For years now, our school keeps the tradition of choosing a king and a queen to prom. Now, I'm inviting our dear Mrs. Park to come up to the stage to help me announce who is the charming couple who will receive the title of king and queen!"

"Hello, our dear graduates!" Mrs. Park cheered, the happiest you have ever seen her in your life. "As you know, the voting took place one week ago in the end of day at school, and today, we will have the pleasure of meeting our most loved couple—"

You tune her out, the principal’s speech still lingering in your head and making your thoughts run a hundred miles per second. The party’s walls felt too suffocating, almost as if they were closing on you, and you knew you couldn’t stay there for much longer.

“Are you okay?” Jaemin whispered, his hand squeezing your shoulder comfortably. You sighed, shaking your head

“Yeah,” You said, your voice wavering and clearly stating that even you weren’t sure “I just need some fresh air” 

“Alright” He nods, tapping lazily on your head. You take that as a good sign and you flee your group discreetly. You pass the golden arch by the side entrance, admiring silently the shiny decoration that made the hall look ten times more illuminated than it really was. 

When you finally cross security and find somewhere more private, you’re at some kind of garden. It’s not fully in the open, as you can see the tall walls that limit the building, but it’s a nice spot to admire the night sky. The first thing you notice is the chilly air— You clearly remember the weather being warmer when you were outside, so you guess that the sun fully setting was enough to make the temperature drop.

The stars are bright in the sky. They twinkle at you, and for a second, you think that they’re trying to pass a hidden message to you. Strangely, you feel your shoulders relax, releasing all the tension you built for the past minutes just by being with the comforting presence of stars. You close your eyes, breathing deeply and taking a few seconds to calm down the flood of anxious thoughts that invaded your mind. 

“Oh, you’re here”

You go blank. You feel frozen in place, your entire body refusing to move a single muscle. Your eyes are wide open and you feel like you’re not physically able to turn your neck, almost as if there was something on it preventing you from looking behind you. That something was anxiety, you soon realize, ready to cry on the spot.

Your lower lip starts to tremble and you feel thousands of different emotions burning in your chest, ready to burst at any moment. Taking a deep inhale, you shyly turn your head, afraid that the voice was just a cruel prank of destiny.

“Mark” His name leaves your lips along with all the air in the lungs. You don’t cry— You were shocked enough to make all brain power short circuit completely.

Mark Lee stood in all his glory, right here, right now. Less than three steps of distance. In Seoul, not in Vancouver, like you were thinking until a minute ago. You were sure this was an image you would be able to see only in your dreams, but somehow, you were living the real thing, seeing Mark Lee attend the school’s prom. His dark hair was styled handsomely, parted exactly in the middle and showing his forehead for the entire world to see. He wore a black suit, his blazer left open lazily showing off the navy tie and the white blouse under it.

“What— Mark—” You gasp, the words losing themselves in your throat, “Weren’t you supposed to be in Canada right now? What the—”

“Hm?” He raises his eyebrows in surprise, and you’re more confused than ever “Didn’t Jaemin and Jeno tell you?”

“Tell me what?” You shriek, almost screaming on the spot. Mark chuckles at your reaction, making that annoying, warm feeling bubble up again. He takes a timid step forward, so you’re face to face, an arm's distance from him. You hear a tiny voice in the back saying that you were dreaming— Maybe you were still in bed, probably in deep slumber, that was the only fucking way—

“There was a problem in our plane,” He starts explaining, doe eyes never leaving yours. His stare slightly overwhelms you. It’s full of unsaid feelings and memories, and you’re afraid of what will change if you admit your own feelings. “I got one more day until the next flight, so here I am"

"Wow…" You say, not being able to think of anything else to express yourself out loud while trying to understand what the fuck was happening. Mark smirks, amused with your shocked expression and lack of words. "Why didn't you say that sooner? Oh fuck, wait, you said that Jaemin and Jeno already knew? What the actual fuck— Why did you get late? Well, I'm not complaining, since you're here when I actually thought that I would never see you again because you were going to stay with your family and there was no guarantee that you would actually come back, and if you even came back to Korea how was I supposed to deal with— Oof"

Mark efficiently shuts you up by bringing you to his chest by the shoulders, your face hitting his body gently in a hug. He is chuckling fondly, and you note (quite embarrassingly, if you were to add) that you can feel the way his heart beating fast because you were leaning directly on his chest. 

"Calm down, you're hyperventilating" He whispers in your ear, making a chill run down your spine. Again, you have to actively remind yourself to breathe properly. You take in his scent, burying your nose in his collarbone, and you feel his fingers tracing random patterns over the fabric of your dress. "Well, for starters, I was in the airport since midnight— The flight was supposed to be at 2am, but it was delayed to 4am. After that, they delayed again to 6am, and then to 8am. At that point, my parents were pissed and decided to speak with some manager, and he said he was sorry and that he could reschedule us into a first class that was going to leave tomorrow, so boom! Here we are," 

"That's great—" You choke out. Mark's face softens and he removes one of his hands in your waist to carefully wipe something in your face. Shit, were you crying? "Ah, shit, I had a bet with Jisung that I wouldn't cry today. You're making it really hard for me, Mark Lee!" You whine, and the boy just chuckles.

"I guess I'm sorry?" He smiled sheepishly. "By the way, I called Jeno and Jaemin his afternoon after a good nap and told them. Didn't they tell you?" 

"No!" A pout appears on your face. You sigh, wrapping your hands in Mark's waist and burying your head again in his collarbone. For some reason, you really liked the smell of his cologne. "Can I murder them?"

"Nah, at least hear their reasons first. Then you can do whatever you want" He shrugs off. You hear the music booming inside the hall and you don't even notice when Mark starts swinging around lazily. "By the way, you don't have to worry too much, okay? It sounds bad if I word it like this, but I'll be back from Canada in no time"

"Are you implying that your grandma—"

"Damn, I already said that it isn't like that!" He whines, making you chuckle. He sighs deeply, leaning his chin on the top of your head. "I mean, I don't plan on staying in Canada for too long. Even if my parents decide to stay back there, I'm still coming to Korea after all the mess finally gets finished. My whole life is here, after all"

"...whole life…?" You repeat, leaning your head back so you can stare at Mark's dark eyes directly. He blushes, a shy smile appearing on his lips

"Yeah," You smile at him, your chest covered in warmth despite the chill weather "I grew up here in South Korea. I might be born in Canada, but what Vancouver has to offer is absolutely no match for what I already have in Seoul. You and the other kids"

You don't say anything, although it is more like, you can't think of anything good enough to express what you're feeling right now. Mark breathes deeply and his face changes to something more serious. He breaks the hug gently, instead, going for your hands and taking them in his own.

"Y'know, five nights ago, when I told you I was going to go back, I said that I wasn't going to say anything," He shakes his head, as if reviving a memory "I told myself that it would be too selfish to burden you with my feelings and to go away for months or years, with no predictions of when I was going to come back."

"I already knew, tho" You reveal shyly, staring at your connected hands. "Your feelings, I mean"

"Yeah, I'm not the best when it comes to hiding them—" Mark laughs and you chuckle, raising your head to look directly at him again. "Anyway, that night, when I left your house, I felt horrible. You know, those anxious thoughts? I didn't know anymore if I was sure of what I was doing. For one part, I want to see you happy, more than anything in the world. Even if that happiness lies with another person, that would be okay for me as long you were happy and satisfied. But the other half of me is selfish— What if I had lost my chance? What if I messed things up? What if the long time really tears us apart?"

"It won't" You assure weakly, gripping his hands more firmly. He nods, agreeing with you.

"Those were like, 3 am insecure thoughts." He clarifies, "I was going to leave without saying anything, I swear. But this plane problem came up, and fuck, call me stupid or any shit like that, but I feel like it's a sign? Like, really, what are the chances that something happens exactly like this?" 

"Maybe the airport manager is some kind of angel?" You joke, making him chuckle with you.

"Yeah, maybe" He takes a deep breath before returning to his monologue "So, fuck everything I thought was right until like, a night ago. I'm going to be really selfish, and I'm really sorry for it, but... I love you. I don't know how, or when it happened, but I love every part of you, no matter how much you dislike them."

"Mark—"

"No, please, let me say everything at once, okay?" He pleads. You nod, letting him have his moment "I realized it too late. All the protectiveness over the whole Hyunjin thing, I thought it was a normal thing to feel as friends, because the other kids also hated him— But there was a moment that everything clicked, and I was like, fuck, I really like her, and then, it was like a switch being activated. I started seeing everything from a different point of view and slowly it came to me why I wasn't upset about Kang Mina back then. It was never her, y'know? There is such a big difference between the things I thought I felt for her and the things I actually feel for you— Wait, why are you crying again?"

Mark pauses his speech, looking at you bewildered. You sniff loudly, the tears pooling on the corner of your eyes, and you shake your head.

"It's just—" You look upwards overwhelmed, trying to reduce your tears "Sorry, this feels too much like a dream and a nightmare at the same time. I'm scared of what I feel about you— I'm scared that I'll love you too much, and then you'll end up leaving"

"I'm sorry" Mark's face falls and he has guilt written all over his eyes. "I'm being extremely selfish right now"

"No, no, it's okay" You reassure quickly, shaking your head, "I'm just a crybaby, as usual.. Ah, is my makeup fucked up right now?" You chuckle nervously, trying to change the tense mood.

“It’s a bit smudgy here, but you’re still pretty” He says, his thumb wiping the corner of your eyes with so much care that you feel like you’re going to melt under his touch. You take a deep breath, locking your own eyes with his and forcing yourself to maintain them there

“Look, I don’t know if I made it clear enough, but…I do like you—” You shake your head at your own words “No, wait, I think it’s safe to say that I love you at this point. I feel like I’m about to combust every single time, and I lowkey hate it, because at the same time you make me feel funny inside and also trigger a lot of anxious thoughts— Those aren’t your fault, of course, but they still happen every once in a while”

“What are you worried about?” His voice is quiet, almost as if he was stepping on eggshells. You’re again, reminded that Mark Lee was one of the sweetest and most caring boys you’ve ever met, and that he was worried about you.

“I feel like I’m not enough. Like, hell, you’re fucking Mark Lee and I’m just same, old, me” Your voice cracks painfully “Jeno was right— I think I have some abandonment issues, and lowkey speaking, I think I’m a big burden to carry around, even more if you’re going to the other side of the globe in less than one day”

“You’re not a burden” He is quick to counter, his grip on your hand making a good job on grounding you to reality. “Having abandonment issues or not, you’re still you at the end of the day. I think I already said this before, but I love every single part of you, even the bad ones that come around. I’m not going to leave you behind for anything in this world— Fuck, I don’t think I would be able to live with myself if I did that”

“...” You’re speechless, feeling the urge to cry, but also not wanting to ruin what was left of your makeup. Your nose scrunches into a cute pout and Mark lets out a soft chuckle at your funny expression.

“If you’re up to it… I think we could try something?” His voice wavers, slightly hesitant. “You don’t have to feel pressured to agree, of course! It’s just that— I want you to know that I’m willing to wait until we can be together properly. That I won’t meet anyone else, because you’re the one that—”

“Yeah, it’s a good idea.” You cut Mark’s ramblings, a small smile appearing on your lips. His shoulders relax immediately, relieved that he didn’t make a fool of himself. You stood in a comfortable silence, taking your time to process all of the information that was dumped on you in the last fifteen minutes. Mark suddenly gasps and looks at you with wide eyes

“Holy shit, does that mean that now we’re boyfriend and girlfriend?” He squeaks, making you raise your eyebrows at him amusedly

“You were the one who asked!” You can’t help but to tease him, finding extremely cute how his cheekbones moved around in his many expressions

“Oh yeah, right,” He mutters to himself. “Does that mean that I can kiss you? I mean, now that we’re boyfriend and—”

You raise yourself on your toe tips, your hands cupping Mark's cheeks and bringing his face closer, connecting your lips and efficiently shutting him up. It feels strangely like a bunch of fireworks being set off in your chest, with sparks of electricity running in your body by every second. Mark's lips are soft, perfect against your own. All of his previous awkwardness disappears in question of seconds, as he pulls you by your hips against him, your own hand moving from his cheeks to the back of his head, messing with his hair mindlessly. His tongue is the first to ask entrance in your mouth, and you part your lips without second thoughts just to feel his tongue clashing directly against yours in sync. 

The kiss breaks off with your lungs burning, both of your breaths heavy, but that doesn't stop you from giving one last affectionate peck on his lips before backing down with your feet fully on the ground. You give him a bright smile, not paying any attention to how you feel your entire face and neck burning, focused only on Mark Lee and how your heart feels like it's going to burst out of your rib cage soon.

"That was… great," His smile makes his entire cheekbones go upwards, exposing some cute dimples on their way. He looks at you like you're his entire world, and for a second, you're lost in the way his eyes twinkle, almost if they are lost brothers of the shiny stars in the night sky. He leans his head towards you again, his forehead against yours and eyes staring at your soul. His left hand goes to his blazer pocket, taking a red pendrive from it and offering to you.

"What is this?" You take it, fingers carefully touching the device as if they were some kind of lost treasure. Mark grins at you.

"It's called Dear Dream, actually—"

“MARK FUCKING LEE, HOW DARE YOU”

You let out a high pitched scream, feeling someone throw all their weight on top of you, almost making you lose your balance and fall down if it wasn't for Mark and his spidey-sense reflex, supporting you with his arm behind you. 

"LEE DONGHYUCK, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" 

You finally come down to earth after near death experience— Is your heart still beating? Just to be sure, you put your palm on your chest, feeling the unsteady beats combine with the deep breaths. Donghyuck has one arm around you, and another in Mark's shoulders, crocodile tears on his face. You see Renjun running through the entrance, screaming something at the other boy, Chenle and Jisung after him with some big smiles and Jaemin and Jeno at the back, grinning like some twisted version of proud parents™

"You absolutely fucking bastard! How dare you?!" Hyuck shrieks, and you take a step back just to make sure you're not caught in the crossfire, however, you don't let go of Mark's right hand. "I come to make sure y/n hasn’t killed herself and suddenly you appear out of nowhere?! What the fuck— I'm feeling extremely betrayed right now what the hell"

"Hyung!" Jisung exclaims, wide eyed "What are you doing here?" 

"None of you actually know?" Mark gasps, glaring at Jeno and Jaemin, both of them shrugging off "What— I thought I asked you two to deliver the news?"

"Nah, too much work." Jaemin smirks innocently, making his best to show puppy eyes to be let off the hook. "We were like, debating if we should let the crybabies know, because it would be really cool if we were drowning in tears in one moment and in the next— boom! Mark Lee is fucking back! Oh, no, not actually back, but you got the hang of it"

"What do you mean crybaby?" Hyuck whines, still clutching Mark as if he was afraid of letting him go. "I'm not a crybaby, what are you saying? I’m suing you for spreading wrong rumors about my cold, totally devoid of emotions—"

"You're crying" Chenle deadpans, an amused smile decorating his face. 

"Besides, it was a nice surprise, wasn't it?" Jeno grins sheepishly, his hands buried deep in his pockets. "The plan worked— Hyuck is crying, y/n is crying, Jisung is trying to disguise his tears but we all saw it anyway and Injunnie is crying somewhere deep inside!"

"I cried a lot and ruined all of my makeup, I hope you're proud," You sniff bitterly, making everyone laugh at your miss fortune. You feel Mark's thumb caressing the back of your hand fondly.

"Donghyuck has the worst timing ever, I swear to god—" Renjun rolls his eyes, glaring at said boy who whines again in response. You feel the heat going back to your cheeks, suddenly shy under the knowing gazes of your friends

"I dunno what you're talking about?" You pout childishly, hoping that they save you from all the teasing and embarrassment, but of course they won't.

"Good try, our dear y/nnie!" Renjun smirks at you, finding amusement on how your cheeks redden up, along with Mark's neck turning a slight pink colour. "But well, you see, Mark has his lips tinted in red, and he hasn't let go of your hand since we found you two— So tell me, are you finally together after all this time of simping for each other like some kind of dumb Disney movie?"

"Fuck you Renjun," Mark sighs, earning another laugh from the dreamies. He raises your connected hands in the air, showing them to the world, and you watch with a dumb smile as your friends' faces lighten up one by one until all of them have that same genuine smile. 

"It happened?" Jisung mutters rhetorically, awestruck. You feel your eyes water with all those overwhelming emotions, but you limit yourself to a simple nod, curving your lips upward. Mark smiles shyly, not answering the youngest with words, but rather with actions. He gives you a light peck on the top of your head, proud with how their faces soften.

"I'm happy for you. You deserve someone good, hm? Not that our Markie is the bestest example, but c'mon, he's at least decent!" Donghyuck says teasingly, letting go of Mark to envelop you in a bear hug with a little laugh, his hand messing with your hair. You nod against him, not trusting yourself to come up with a verbal response, "I still hate Mark for not telling us earlier that he was coming to prom, but I guess that everything ended well, so perhaps we can forgive him, right?"

"Yeah," You chuckle, amused with Hyuck's antics and your boyfriend's absolutely done expression. 

Boyfriend, hm? That sounded good in your ears.

"Hey, now that we sorted this mess, let's go inside" Jeno pleads, sighing. "We're kinda losing the whole point of prom being outside like this—"

You hum in agreement and all of you set off to go back inside, your hand finding Mark's one naturally as you match each other's pace. He suddenly stops, clearing his throat and successfully gaining the attention of everyone.

"Hey guys, let's do this" His voice is firm, confident. You send him a confused look, but he just smiles proudly at all of you. "Yo, dream!"

it's all flooding back, this is only one part

this is just a bit, believe this is our bookmark

we were swept away by the current so naturally

but i don't want this to sound like

we're about to depart

 if i ever get lost

i won't turn to dust

i'mma call back,

don't forget my tone

whenever you shout out like we used to

hope we always feel like,

“Let´s do it! Fighting!”

[whenimgoodandready]

(grabs the speaker hanging above) Attention everyone! This your conductor/reviewer speaking, for today’s review, we’ll be goin’ for a ride from Point A to Point B and as we journey in this state of the art revolutionary industrialistic mechanism, we’ll be seeing some oh so interesting sights along the way such as an adorable shipping moment, a view from our own Milky Way galaxy and a new superhero in combat! So please fasten your seatbelts, sit back, relax and do enjoy the ride, All aboard! (pulls the trains caboose and it sounds):

*Startrain-Ms.Bustiers class is taking a field trip to London, WHOA! London!? Damn! Wish my field trips were fun! They’re taking the Startrain! (not the villain) You know, that fancy modern looking bullet train that goes from the city of love to the Queen in seconds from “Bakerix”!? Yeah, that Startrain! Foreshadowing! Unfortunately, poor Marinette can’t go cuz if she does, Hawk Moth will have an advantage on akumatizing someone and they’ll be no Ladybug there to purify the akuma. On occasion, this is one of those eps where she acts responsible and not impulsive (depending on the writer), but Master Fu allows her to go cuz she needs a break! She works harder than anyone in Paris, France! She deserves a vacation! But! she’s still responsible, so Fu gives her the horse miraculous (power of teleportation) in case there’s any danger. Smart! As for Adrien, he sneaks off to his field trip cuz Gabe barely lets him go anywhere. Hey! Let the kid go eat a crumpet! Besides, it’s not the first time he’s run off to go do something against his fathers wishes. Nice guys can rebel! Elsewhere, Sabrina’s father, Lieutenant Roger, is bald-I mean! Running late on getting his daughter onboard cuz he’s too distracted by his code of honor on the force to focus which has the akuma go after him. Oh great! We’re gonna have Robocop again, okay, let’s see how this-wait what!? He calmed down? Oh cool. Sorry little akuma, run along! Nice try there Hawk Moth. Looks like Rogers hair isn’t the only thing receding over here! (Badum-tish🥁).

The class genius, Max Kanté, is excited cuz his mother, Dr.Claudie Kanté, is the conductor for the Startrain. Hey! Look at that! We’re expanding even more on Marinettes classmates and their families! Yea! We need to know more about these kids. As cool as it is to operate a train, Dr.Kantés real dream is to be an astronaut! She had to put that aside to support her son, but now that he’s all grown up and is a genius who can pretty much take care of himself, she’s free to follow her true passion. All she needs to do now is just wait for her results in her e-mail if she passed her exam to go into space. So she waits.......and waits......and waits.......and waits.......and waits.......and-Hey! Let’s see what’s goin’ in the train!

The Startrains futuristically fun! Service droids roaming around asking the passengers for drinks and automatically handing it to them! Are these things real! I’d love for them to be real! Chloe was in First Class (why bother, it’s still a cool train?) while the other kids were just being kids playing video games, drawing, browsing on their iPhones, yawning!? Oops! That’s Marinette. She’s exhausted from her earlier crime fighting and is just taking a nap. Good-night girl! Alya asks Adrien to switch seats with her to be with her boyfriend, Nino (😉), and he says yes. Here’s the part where everyone goes, “Awwwww”. I’ve seen fan art of this particular moment, the moment that’s so precious and so soft, there’s a word for it. Sleep Cute! The ✨Adrienette Sleep Cute!✨It’s now canon! Awwwwwww. The girl squad and everyone else think it’s the cutest thing in the world and they just-(record scratch) Wait! What’s Lila doing there!? Hey! Lila! No! Bad Lila! SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING! Alya! Thank God! Thank you girl! The leader of the squad saved the moment! Take that! Lila! The people may believe every word you say, but when it comes to the girl squads Adrienette ship, don’t.rock.the.boat!*snap**snap* Mmmhmm.

Wait! We’re not on a boat! We’re on a train! Lol! Forgot where I was for a moment there! Dr.Kanté grows impatient with her e-mail wait and thinks she probably failed her exam and that’s when the akuma comes (was it just fluttering around aimlessly?) in making her into Startrain. She’s a sci fi looking villainess who’s right arm is attached to the “dead mans switch” (or else it’s a dead stop) and makes the whole train, containing its passenger, her own rocket ship! Going all Magic Schhol Bus on them. 10.....9.....8.....7.....6.....5.....4.....3.....2.....1! BLAST OFF! 💥🚀💥And we have lift off! It’s a space case adventure and I had no idea how this was gonna go! Our heroes were in space with zero gravity! Where no one can hear them scream! Don! Don! Don!

Hmmmm, so another parent from Marinettes classmates has been akumatized and Ladybug and Cat Noir need extra help......I think we all know who that is. Ladies and gentleman, the holder of the horse miraculous, Max Kanté! A.k.a. Pegasus! (trumpets sound). Well, we all knew from “Party Crasher” anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . His Kwamie is a British accented uppity pony like being named Kaalki, the miraculous: a pair of glasses, the weapon: two horse shoes and it’s power:(we already know) teleportation by saying, “Voyage” that opens up a huge portal to wherever they want.

(grabs the speaker hanging above) Thank you for riding the Startrain, please unbuckle your seatbelts, take your belongings and exit in an orderly fashion as we come to our destination. We apologize for the inconvenience of our unexpected space odyssey as that was not planned in our schedule, but we thank you for staying calm throughout the journey. Have a nice day! It’s interesting how Marinette managed to get the highest score in “Ladybug” for her quiz (really? Even more so than Max!?) despite having to juggle her school work along with her superhero duties and social life and yet she felt drowsy here after another unseen supervillain fight. Well, since this ep took place before “Ladybug” she must’ve handled it better later. As for Adrien, let us count the ways he’s rebelled against Gabe: 1. Ditching his bodyguard to sneak off to the movies (“The Puppeteer”), 2. Running away to go to school (“Origins Part:1-2”), 3. Running away to blow off some steam (“A Christmas Special”), 4. Stealing the miraculous book (“The Collector”), 5. Sneaking off to see his moms movie (“Gorizilla”), 6. Lying about going to fencing practice to instead go on a date with Kagami (“Frozer”), 7. Having a party with Gabe gone (“Party Crasher”) and 8. Ditching fencing practice again with Kagami to hang out with their friends (“Desperada”). It’s all very reasonable cuz he has an overprotective (evil) father, lives in a mansion full of mostly stone cold people and is VERY lonely and miserable! Who wouldn’t wanna get away from all that!? Lieutenant Roger is blind to his daughters slavitude towards Chloe and just thinks she’s “serving and protecting” by being a “good friend”. Ironic that he’s a cop and doesn’t notice the injustice in this. Whomp! Whomp! Whomp! A little thing we learned about the akumas, Hawk Moth can’t control ‘em if they’re a distance away! Like space! He also reluctantly had to see his plan fail cuz Adrien was on the Startrain in space and was forced to let the good guys win for his sons sake. Was this the first time it happened? Cuz I think so. No Queen Bee in this ep cuz Chloe dear, you’re retired! I’m sensing her distraught over this is the reason for her third akumatization in the finale *cough*BattleoftheMiraculousPart2:MiracleQueen*cough* Yeah, wait for it. Another thing is Alya has a second blog for astronomy, so she’s not limited to her Ladyblog. That’s good! Give her a new hobby so she won’t look one-dimensional. So this was the space episode and sadly, there were no space related power-ups :P. Damn it! I wanted to see Ladybug and Cat Noir in space outfits! We see a member of Maxes family and we find out he has a mother who operates the Startrain, but really wants to be an astronaut. Hey, we’ve all been there. Stuck at a dead end job you had to take to support a family instead of following your dreams on what you really wanted to do. I can relate! I wanted to be a writer! I love books and reading, so I wanted to create some myself. Unfortunately, I wasn’t motivated much and didn’t get any support, so now I’m just a medical assistant to put bread on the table. That’s it! The closest I get to my writing career is writing in these reviews on my blog! It’s fine, just cuz I can’t do my real passion, doesn’t mean I have to stop. Right? Least Claudies dream came true. Congratulations girl! Boldly go where (no) man has gone before! (salutes). What everyone was really talking about was the Sleep Cute Adrienette moment :). When Marinette fell asleep on Adrien, he allowed it and even fell asleep as well. Wether you see it as either him being a gentlemen and not disturbing her or him just subconsciously being in love with her is up to you (I’m mixed on both, but mostly on the former). Lila was almost a c*ckblocker in that moment, but thanks to Shipper On Deck Alya, it was thwarted! Yea-ah! Really Lila, another “illness” you have? First it was tinnitus and arthritis (“Chameleon”), then it was “a lying problem” (“Ladybug”) and now you’re saying “motion sickness”! It’s amazing she’s able to walk! Isn’t anyone concerned!? Well, people almost saw her ruin the Adrienette moment which would make everyone start being suspicious of Lila as they all vouched for Marinette (“Ladybug”). Max is Pegasus! And his transformation had a techno beat! Cool! However, his powers were the same as Bunnyx. Teleportation! Why is that!? Viperion has a similar power to Bunnyx too, time travel! Why are all three of these the same!? I prefer each miraculous power to be individually different to stand out! This better not happen again with the other miraculouses! The miraculous for the horse miraculous was a pair of glasses.........glasses?........and it went to Max......how convenient 😒. As someone who’s born in the Year of the Horse, this was most disappointing. Guess I’m just like Kaalki who has high expectations and wants to be representative of my Chinese sign with “grace, beauty, nobility and freedom”.

[tyrusisthetea]

SEND NUMBERS!

1. What is your middle name?

2. Do you have any nicknames?

3. Do you have any allergies?

4. What is the longest your hair has ever been?

5. Apple or PC?

6. Favorite flavor?

7. Have you ever been on a blind date?

8. Are you friends with any of your exes?

9. What kind of car do you drive?

10. How grammatically correct are you when you text?

11. What foreign country would you most like to visit and why?

12. Creamy or chunky peanut butter?

13. Favorite food to pig out on?

14. DC or Marvel?

15. Disney or Nickelodeon?

16. Do you have any stickers on your laptop computer?

17. Name/author of the last book you read cover to cover. Do you recommend it?

18. Do you read any magazines?

19. Coffee or tea?

20. What is your go-to Starbucks drink?

21. How many things can do with your weaker hand?

22. Last show you binge watched?

23. Dogs or cats?

24. Favorite Disney princess?

25. Do you like fast food?

26. Favorite thing to cook for yourself?

27. Favorite song to sing in the shower?

28. Have you ever butt dialed anyone?

29. iPhone/iPad or Android?

30. Any styles of music you do not like?

31. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same gender? If so, did you like it?

32. Have you ever gotten a ticket while driving?

33. Favorite emoji?

34. Showers or baths?

35. Is there anything you regret buying?

36. Are you fluent in more than one language?

37. Any movie(s) you can watch over and over again and enjoy just as much every time?

38. What is the heaviest you have ever weighed?

39. Do you have any tattoos? If so, how many and where?

40. Have you ever uttered a spoken hashtag?

41. Favorite school subject?

42. Favorite non-chocolate candy?

43. Name one celebrity you dislike.

44. If you could have one superpower, which one would you most like to have?

45. From 1-10, rate your singing ability.

46. From 1-10, rate your dancing ability.

47. From 1-10, rate your cooking ability.

48. From 1-10, rate your driving ability.

49. Are you religious?

50. Do you drink soda? If so, which one is your favorite?

51. Have you ever locked your keys in your car?

52. Spring or autumn?

53. Do you play any sports?

54. Can you play any musical instruments?

55. Are you more introverted or extroverted?

56. How easily do you cry?

57. Last musical artist you saw live?

58. Favorite YouTube channel?

59. Star Wars or Star Trek?

60. How long have you known your best friend?

61. Have you ever voted for a reality show?

62. Last CD you bought?

63. Have you ever ended a romantic relationship?

64. Have you ever been broken up with?

65. Have you ever been in the audience for the taping of a TV show?

66. How long was your longest relationship? Are you still with that person?

67. Have you seen any Broadway plays or musicals?

68. Have you ever acted in a play or a musical?

69. How flexible are you?

70. Have you ever sexted?

71. Do you own any clothes from garage sales or thrift stores?

72. Real or fake Christmas trees?

73. How many pillows do you sleep with?

74. How well can you write in cursive?

75. What is your political affiliation?

76. Do you like any boy bands?

77. Have you ever broken any bones?

78. Have you ever gotten any stitches?

79. Do you have any piercings in places other than your ears?

80. What is the oldest piece of clothing you still wear and how old is it?

81. Do you like wearing hats?

82. Have you ever dyed your hair?

83. From 1-10, how competitive are you?

84. How long have you been at your current job?

85. Have you ever studied abroad?

86. Phrase you say the most?

87. Have you ever quit a job?

88. Have you ever gotten fired from a job?

89. Have you ever won a trophy? If so, what for?

90. Have you ever been a Boy/Girl Scout?

91. Last thing that made you laugh?

92. Do you eat meat?

93. Are you more of a morning or a night person?

94. Worst habit?

95. Deepest fear?

96. Do you believe in ghosts?

97. If you could take home any animal from the zoo, what animal would you take?

98. Do you consider rapping singing?

99. Favorite costume you wore for Halloween? How old were you?

100. Favorite store to shop at?

101. Have you ever given anyone CPR?

102. Favorite Pokémon?

103. Do you own any homemade clothing?

104. Do you drink alcohol at all? If so, what is your drink of choice?

105. Have you ever skinny dipped?

106. Favorite type of cookie?

107. Favorite flavor of ice cream?

108. Biggest pet peeve?

109. Are you still friends with anyone from high school?

110. Favorite literary character?

111. Are your birth parents still together?

112. Do you wear or have your ever worn glasses?

113. How many of your Facebook friends do you actually hang out with?

114. Have you ever been the victim of a prank?

115. Do you belong to a fraternity or a sorority?

116. Have you ever taken a nude selfie?

117. Are you adopted?

118. Favorite fandom?

119. Oldest memory?

120. Have you ever snorted when you laughed?

121. Can you drive stick?

122. Favorite Disney song?

123. Random boy’s name.

124. Random girls’ name.

125. How often do you eat out at a nice restaurant?

126. How many people are in your nuclear family?

127. What accent do you consider the most attractive?

128. What is your Myers-Briggs personality type?

129. What is your astrological sign?

130. Biggest regret?

131. What type of shoes do you wear the most?

132. Do you like any soap operas?

133. Do you listen to talk radio?

134. What sports team(s) do you root for?

135. Describe your sense of humor.

136. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender?

137. Favorite video game?

138. Name a moment in your life when you were pleasantly surprised.

139. Do you believe in serendipity?

140. Have you ever left a movie theater before the movie was done?

141. Have you ever felt you were born in the wrong period of history?

142. Is sex before marriage wrong?

143. Have you ever gotten a song you dislike stuck in your head?

144. Can you handle spicy food?

145. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as darling, honey, babe, or dear?

146. Do you like MTV?

147. Where on your body are you the most ticklish?

148. TV show or movie you quote/reference the most?

149. Have you ever lived with a roommate you didn’t get along with?

150. Where do you think is the best place to meet a new lover?

151. Have you ever successfully been on a diet?

152. Favorite thing to do outside?

153. Where did you go on your last vacation?

154. Do you say “y'all” at all?

155. Have you ever lived on a farm?

156. Do you believe in evolution?

157. What TV channel do you watch the most?

158. Favorite Beatles song?

159. Have you ever been on TV?

160. Have you ever been to Disney World or Disneyland?

161. Do you like horror movies?

162. Do you like to go fishing?

163. Have you ever been hunting?

164. Do you take medication for anything?

165. Name one item from your bucket list.

166. From 1-10, how much do you like children?

167. Have you ever thought about your wedding?

168. Have you ever been bungee jumping or skydiving?

169. Favorite flower?

170. Do you collect anything?

171. Who was the last person you told a lie to?

172. Have you ever been a bridesmaid or a groomsman?

173. Have you ever had a fortune cookie fortune come true?

174. What was your favorite toy to play with when you were a child?

175. How good are you at math?

176. Have you ever learned anything from a how-to YouTube video?

177. Have you ever participated in a science fair?

178. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender?

179. Have you ever participated in a public protest?

180. Do you have a pool at your house?

181. Have you ever hosted a wild party?

182. Do you like karaoke?

183. Have you ever written a love letter?

184. Have you ever ran a marathon?

185. How often do you get mad at yourself?

186. Any guilty pleasures?

187. Fruits or vegetables?

188. Do you live in a house or an apartment?

189. The countryside or the suburbs?

190. Worst job you’ve ever had?

191. Do you hang out with any of your co-workers?

192. Were you ever voted homecoming/prom king or queen?

193. Were you voted a “best” or “most likely to” in high school?

194. Have you ever gotten detention?

195. Have you ever babysat?

196. Have you ever taken a road trip just for the fun of it?

197. How many drinks get you tipsy?

198. Were you a part of any academic clubs in high school or college?

199. Have you ever given a public speech, aside from your schooling?

200. How long have you been on tumblr?

[mikeshanlon]

he’s all that: chapter one

fandom: it

pairing: reddie (richie tozier/eddie kaspbrak)

word count: 3.8k

on ao3

summary: 

Richie smiled smugly, “You’ve got spunk Kaspbrak. I like that.”

“Why don’t you try shutting the fuck up Tozier,” Eddie retorted as the line moved forward, “So what is this, if not some ploy to get me to tutor you? Some sort of dork outreach program? Because I’m not interested.”

---

Or: The one where Richie Tozier has six weeks to get into a relationship and make someone fall for him. Only problem? That someone is the anxiety ridden, goody two shoes Eddie Kaspbrak, and he can't even stand to be in the same room as Richie.

warnings: there is drug use in that bev/mike/richie are HUGE stoners. 

a/n: hello!!! hope you enjoy this fic, i will try to update it at least every other sunday (i'll figure out the exact number of chapters before i post chapter two, but it probably won't be more than 10). you don't need to have watched she's all that to get this, although there will be some small easter eggs/quotes from the movie. but the movie has not aged well and is very Heteronormative so like.... no need to watch it lmao. 

Senior year— it was what just about any kid in the public schooling system looked forward to. You were high school royalty, enjoying the last hurrah with booze and dancing before being sent off to make your mark on the world. Lanky limbs that weren’t yet grown into became muscled and toned, hips were wider and swayed. Brains were wiser, skin was touched more, and smiles were brighter. It was a time of transformation and change.

Except, senior year was almost over, and Richie Tozier felt like he hadn’t really changed at all. Sure, in the last four years he shot up to 6’2, his voice was deeper, and he wasn’t such a fucking outcast; but really nothing else felt different. He still only passed his classes on genius alone, had a problem respecting authority figures (partially due to the fact that his parents were still pieces of shit), and never knew when to shut the fuck up.

Derry, Maine itself stayed the same too, like a town in a snow globe encased with mom-and-pop businesses and ignorance. Other than iPhones, the small Starbucks on the corner of Main and Belmont, and the fact that the townspeople were slightly less homophobic and racist (slightly being the operative word); Derry was pretty much a time capsule for banana bikes, bullies, and double features with popcorn that had too much salt and not enough butter.

Take the cliques and social hierarchy-- a staple in any American high school, especially one in a small town. Despite it being the 21st century, the cafeteria still had tables for jocks, geeks, nerds, and preps, straight from some 80’s or 90’s teen flick.

Richie, like most things in his life, didn’t necessarily fit into one group or the other, toeing the line between social pariah and popular party dude. He supposed it was the side effects of being the class clown with too-big-for-his-face glasses, a diagnosis for ADHD, and his tendency blazing at any given moment. Funny and wild enough to show up to any party, but not exactly cool enough to hang out with for anything else.

Honestly, it didn’t matter either way, because instead of worrying about what table to eat the cafeteria’s barely edible food at, Richie usually spent his lunch smoking with his friends. It was time to catch up and unwind before the last few classes of the day— and there was no way he could get through chemistry without being high.

As soon as the shrill bell rang, Richie hopped out of his seat, grabbing his shit before placing his (probably failed) history quiz on the teacher’s desk on his way out into the halls.

He weaved through the couples sucking face and the worried AP students, his unruly black curls bouncing like a hyperactive halo around his head as he walked towards his locker.

“‘Sup Tozier!” someone called out to him, a familiar face at the weekend ragers, although he never learned his actual name.

Richie nodded, “Hey, what’s up Keg King?”

“Not much. Hey, you coming to see me defend my title this weekend?”

“Wouldn't miss it for the world,” Richie smiled lazily, patting the other boy on the back before strolling along.

It wasn’t a coincidence that his smile faltered as he passed what was left of the Bower’s gang. He and Hockstetter had graduated the year prior, although like most bumfuck racists hellbent on beating up ‘dorks and queers’, they stayed in Derry. The remaining two, Belch and Victor Criss, weren’t nearly as powerful or psychotic as their elders, but they had a reputation to uphold. They weren’t exactly slamming him down on the asphalt in front of the arcade like they did in middle school, but they weren’t friendly either. Mutual respect was even a stretch. He’d enjoy seeing them get their asses handed to them, and he was sure they felt the same.

Richie popped open his locker, catching the loose papers and pencils that inevitably fell out. A small mirror hung on the blue metal door, rendered practically useless because of all the smudges covering it. The remaining space was littered with stickers of indie bands, and post-its with doodles and notes to himself or from his friends.

Have a great day trashmouth <3- bevs

Sparknotes ‘Pygmalion’

Come to the quarry after school!-mike

It’s a good day to be gay

Next time u get drunk enough 2 facetime us reading the entire bee movie script pls invite us so we dont have 2 deal w/ that sober- b+m

Buy more cigs and weed

U lewk hott big sexxxi ;) - xoxo

Richie was unashamed to say he wrote the last one to himself one day when he looked particularly good.

He struggled to stuff his history folder into the looming mess, but eventually crammed it in there, slamming the door shut before anything else could fall out.

After checking that he did indeed have his lighter, bag of weed, and papers in his denim jacket, Richie made his way to their usual spot. They liked to smoke at the stairs behind the art room, which was tucked away in the back of the school, overlooking the field that separated them and the middle schoolers.

Throwing open the orange door to the stairs in his usual dramatic fashion, he found his two closest friends, “Ms. Marsh, Lord Michael, how fare thee chaps today?” Richie greeted in his (awful) british accent.

Beverly Marsh rolled her eyes as she lit her joint, “Fine, until I heard that horrible voice.”

Richie threw a hand on his chest, a pained expression painted on his face, “Oh, how you hurt me so.”

“Hey, I mean it is his best impression,” Mike Hanlon commented from the steps, fist bumping Richie as he sat down across from Beverly on the top of the stairs, back to the railing. The sweet boy lit up the bowl in his pipe, inhaling deeply.

“Aw, thank you Mikey, you sure know how to make a girl swoon,” he cooed, mimicking a southern belle.

“Well, you don’t really have any good one’s in the first place,” Mike smirked, blowing out the smoke in his mouth while Beverly snorted, taking another drag.

Richie rolled his eyes, taking out his bag of weed, “Fuck off Hanlon.”

Mike extended an olive branch in the form of paper lunch bag filled with a sandwich, chips, and a can of coke. It was a daily occurrence for them— the Tozier’s rarely had any food, and even if Richie wanted to eat from the cafeteria, he didn’t exactly get a lot of money from them.

“My upcoming munchies thank you dear friend.”

He opened his bag of weed, attempting to balance the paper on his knees so he could roll his own joint. This failed miserably as the weed fell out, getting all over his Radiohead t-shirt.

“Shit.”

Beverly sighed, holding out her hand, “Let me roll it Tozier, you and I both know I’m better at it anyways.”

“What?! I’m perfectly capable of doing it by myself. I roll a damn good joint Marsh,” he shot back incredulously.

She plucked a stray piece of weed and gave him a pointed look. Richie groaned before handing his stuff over, Beverly handing him her own joint to smoke on in the meantime.

“How’s your day been Rich?” Mike asked from his spot on the steps. Typical farm boy, concerned with his friends. Richie often wondered how such an angelic person hung out with him and Bev, but Mike had his fair share of rebellious traits.

“Ah, well, you can tell it’s been just dandy. I can’t wait till we get out of this fucking hell hole,” Richie scoffed before taking a hit.

“Only seven more weeks,” Beverly reminded, eyes and hands focused on rolling.

Mike nodded, “Crazy. Can’t believe we’re finally graduating.”

“Thank fucking god, Derry is a suffocating shithole,” he said, “I know I’m an idiot, but Jesus, everyone here is a fucking bigot.”

“Yeah,” Mike agreed, not saying much else. They understood. It was hard being one of the only black kids in school, let alone pansexual (although most people didn’t know this about him). The prejudice he faced wasn’t something he often spoke about, trying to be as positive as possible.

“This kid in english was saying bisexuals are sluts today,” Richie successfully blew a few smoke rings, “Like, I am one, but not because of my sexuality, asswipe.”

Bev laughed humorlessly, handing Richie the freshly rolled joint and taking back her own, “No need to tell me what that’s like.”

No, the redhead had been getting called a slut over nothing since the seventh grade; the rumors and shaming only getting worse when she too came out as bi.

A comfortable and reflective silence fell over the three, occupied with their thoughts and getting high. Richie placed the joint in between his chapped lips; struggling to light the tip as his white lighter sputtered, on it’s last moments of life. Mumbled expletives fell out of his mouth before he was successful, inhaling deeply and holding the smoke in before letting it all escape.

His dark brown eyes scanned the poorly maintained sports field, filled mostly with middle schoolers running around and yelling. Part of him envied the carefree nature of it all, but the other remembered how fucking shitty middle school was and any jealousy washed away.

Not too far from them was what was dubbed as ‘the kissing tree’. The old trunk was littered with carvings, initials surrounded by hearts claiming that their love was ‘forever’. It was juvenile, small town as fuck, and heteronormative— though most things surrounding romance in Derry were.

Of course, Richie had been obsessed with it as a preteen, and knew his own name was on there (a few times).

What caught his eye now were the couple under it, making out passionately, flush against one another, like if they stopped they’d die.

Honestly, that would be preferable, as one of them was Gretta Keene, one of Richie’s biggest mistakes.

Gretta was one of the most popular girls in school, and she was also a grade A bitch. Her green eyes sent glares akin to daggers, and her lipgloss covered lips provided insults that went too far. Including frequently calling Beverly a slut.

It wasn’t like Richie had a huge crush on her or anything. Their relationship was merely born from constantly being at the same parties, cross faded and wanting a quick hook up to distract themselves. Mike had commented that it was only a matter of time, except one became many more, despite the fact that Gretta only got with jocks.

Their arrangement caused Bev to freeze Richie out for two months last semester, breaking their four year streak for best couples costume at Betty Ripsom’s annual Halloween Party. Bev was more important to him by a long shot, but per usual, he kept fucking everything up.

Most of their ‘moments’ were shared in some stranger's bed, or dancing in a kitschy living room to pop music, sharing a blunt or swigs from a bottle of whiskey. None of it was on purpose, but rather a byproduct of being intoxicated and having a high sex drive.

In fact, they had only been on two actual dates when they were together. The first was at the drive-in a town over, the pair sat in Richie’s beat up station wagon, some shitty b-movie playing on the large projector. Gretta shared a pack of cigarettes with him, and it was probably the only kind thing she had ever done. Richie tried to make conversation, so that their relationship actually had some sort of substance other than weed and alcohol; but Gretta quickly shut him up, sticking her cherry coke flavored tongue down his throat.

He took her out to his favorite diner for their other date, figuring that they might have a chance to actually get to know one another without an acceptable place to make out. They sat on opposite sides of a booth outlooking Main street, an old-timey song playing on the jukebox.

This plan proved to be a grave mistake, because Richie finally understood why Bev often said, “Satan himself thinks Gretta Keene is too cruel.”

He repressed the memory, if he remembered it he’d get too pissed off. Instead, Richie thought of their break-up, how she had beat him to the punch.

He had been waiting at her locker, leaning against #405 and picking at his nails, humming a song by The Smiths under his breath. Gretta approached, clad in a pink mini-skirt and a tight crop top, smacking her half-priced bubblegum.

Richie cleared his throat, standing upright, ready to chew her the fuck out for being such a horrible person, “Gretta, let’s talk—“

“We’re through Tozier.”

“What the fuck?!” He had gaped at her, “No, I was going to breakup with you!”

Gretta shooed him away with her manicured hands, “Please, you’re a fucking nobody. Irrelevant. You should be glad we even fucked around this long.”

A small crowd had formed around the two, “You’re the one who kept coming back for more.”

“And you’re the one who actually thought this could be something. So cute. But I don’t date losers and I don’t date attention-whores like you.”

Like he said, grade A bitch.

“Jealous?” Mike snapped Richie from his thoughts.

His cheeks reddened, embarrassed that he was caught staring, “What? No. I pity the poor bastard that’s with her. Fucking breath smells like a fucking dog ate a pack of Winston’s. Straight up ass.”

Beverly chuckled, but her eyes held a little bit of resentment, “You used to smoke those Winston’s with her.”

“I thought we had an agreement that we would never speak of the Great Gretta Keene Mistake again?”

“Sure, but you’re the one watching her,” Mike pointed out, packing a new bowl, “Missing the one that got away?”

The other boy’s tone was joking but Richie sent him a glare, “She’s fucking irrelevant to me okay?”

They hummed in agreement, but he could see the slight doubt on their faces.

Richie ripped open his bag of chips and threw one in his mouth, “She thinks she’s such hot fucking shit, but she’s so replaceable.”

“Richie, it’s rude to speak with your mouth full,” Mike admonished his bad manners.

“That’s not what your ol’ pops said last night when I was suck-“

“Beep beep, Richie,” Mike warned.

Bev shook her head, “Really Rich? His grandpa?”

“When opportunity strikes,” he flashed a shit eating grin before taking another hit.

“Anyways, while I second the sentiment that Gretta isn’t all that, you haven’t exactly had a relationship since her,” Bev accused.

“Okay, what the fuck is this, ‘pick on Richie day’?” he said, readjusting his position, “Besides, I’ve been with plenty of other people.”

“Please, this isn’t middle school, and I’m still not buying the whole ‘my bedpost is covered in notches’ bit,” Bev inspected the joint between her fingers, now just a stub.

“Well, obviously it’s not. I’ve had sex in many different beds. Yours included,” Richie smirked.

“Beep beep. You know you aren’t allowed over after you almost burned down my aunt’s apartment.”

“The apartment was fine. Everyone knows if you put the temperature up super high food cooks faster. Those tater-tots would’ve been delicious. Bon-appetit,” Richie spoke in a poor french accent, and his eyes widened, “Bon-appetot. Bon-appetatertot.”

He fell into a fit of giggles and Mike chuckled across from him.

“You are a walking disaster Richie Tozier,” Bev said, though an amused smile sat on her lips.

“Richie’s poor life choices aside… One night stands and drunken make out sessions don’t count,” Mike returned to their previous topic, “I mean something sort of serious. Something you put effort into.”

“I don’t put effort into anything Michael dear,” Richie countered.

“Not true. You put effort into a lot of dumb shit,” Bev put out her joint, “Like when you tried to climb the water tower at 3 am naked. Or the time you tried to get the principal to grind with you at homecoming.”

“You can’t blame me for that. Mrs. Marton is a vixen. Can’t believe she resisted my charms.”

Mike laughed, shaking his head, “Point is, it kinda seems like you’re stuck in a rut.”

“I get plenty of action,” Richie boasted, taking a drag from his joint, “Plus, I could make any girl or guy in this piece of shit school fall in love with me.”

“That a bet?” Bev grinned mischievously.

“You know what, why the fuck not?” Richie shrugged. He was bored, and he wanted his friends off his fucking back, “Terms and conditions?”

“Mike and I get to choose the sorry fuck who you’ll be pursuing—“

“No, I don’t wanna be a part of this. Isn’t it kinda fucked up? Getting with someone for a bet? Why don’t you just try to date someone without an ulterior motive?” Mike suggested.

Richie rolled his eyes, adopting an Australian accent, “Now where’s the fun in that mate?”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“You get till prom to sweep this person off their feet. A committed relationship, not just a hookup. If you win I’ll get you a shit ton of the finest weed the county can offer,” Bev continued, “If you lose—“

“No need to tell me, because I won’t fail,” Richie smirked, “I’m a total knockout.”

Bev’s face mirrored his own, “Fine, it’s your funeral.”

Both of them spit into their palms before shaking their hands, bonding the bet.

“C’mon, let’s go find them— you only have six weeks.”

The three of them packed up their shit, passing around the rest of Richie’s joint so it wouldn’t go to waste before they headed inside. Bev spritzed some perfume on them in an attempt to mask the smell of weed, making Richie smell fruity and floral. He popped a stick of spearmint gum in his mouth, deciding to save his sandwich for AP Calc next block.

It was a rare occurrence for them to roam the halls before the lunch bell rang, so a few of the students stared at them as they went on their search. Mike smiled at just about everyone they passed, a fucking angel per usual.

“What about him, he’s kinda cute,” Bev suggested, nodding her head to a blonde boy holding a skateboard.

Richie shook his head, “We made out at that beach bonfire over the summer. He almost vommed in my fucking mouth. The money maker! These beautiful lips are fuckin sacred— how could I smooch and tell amazing jokes if he fucked em up? These babies ooze charisma and sex appeal.”

“More like ooze bullshit,” Mike quipped.

“I think you’re just jealous that you won’t be the one I’m wooing Mike n Ike.”

Bev snorted, “I pity the poor fuck who you’ll be annoying till prom,” her eyes lit up, and she turned to Mike, “Hey, we might be able to enjoy some peace and quiet for a while!”

“The minute we became best friends with Richie I gave up all hope for tranquility.”

“Hey!” He protested, although Mike was right.

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” the other boy finished sweetly.

Richie planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek, “Oh Mikey, you are the most wholesome-est boy I ever did meet,” he slipped into his southern belle persona, “What about you Bevvy darlin’, got any words to butter up my biscuit? To milk my udder?”

She rolled her eyes and continued walking ahead of them, turning into another hallway.

“Fine, I know you love me Marsh,” Richie used his long lanky legs to his advantage, catching up to stroll alongside her quickly, “What about Betty Ripsom?”

Bev scoffed, “Please, too easy.”

“What?! She’s like, a good ol’ Christian girl. I’m a deviant! My skype username used to be tozier666! Or wait, it was tozier42069… I can’t remember.”

“C’mon Richie, we all know she had a massive crush on you freshman year,” Bev replied.

Mike nodded in agreement, “You wouldn’t shut up about it.”

“Like most things,” Bev said, “Anyways, you’d just use that to your advantage. Although, I am liking the whole ‘polar opposite’ approach.”

Richie groaned, of course he had a hand in his own misfortune.

They continued to travel the halls, Beverly’s baby blue eyes scouring for a victim.

“You sure are digging your own grave today Rich,” Mike commented.

Richie nodded, “R.I.P. Richard Tozier. Big Mouth and even Bigger Wan—“

“Found ‘em,” Bev interrupted, a grin on her face.

She pointed down the hallway in front of them, where two boys conversated as everyone walked around them. The taller one had auburn hair, and was lanky like Richie, although the other boy seemed a little more muscular. The other looked like a fucking middle schooler, and Richie wasn’t sure how the little brat even got in there.

It took a minute, but Richie realized that he did actually recognize them. They didn’t interact much, not being in the same circles, but the two boys had been going to school with him since the days of recess. And they had been bullied since then too.  

So, correction, she pointed to where two of the biggest losers in school were talking about what was presumably some nerdy shit. Great.

“What, Big Bill?” Richie raised an eyebrow, “He’s not too bad. Ignore the stutter and the fact that he’s best friends with total dorks and you have a shy lil cutie. Nice handiwork Marsh.”

“You know, you’re a total dork and we’re still friends with you,” Mike quipped, his own way of chastising Richie.

Bev shook her head ‘no’, “Not Denbrough, the other one.”

Richie’s eyes settled on the smaller boy, and the realization that he was totally and utterly fucked set in.

Eddie Kaspbrak. The kid peaked at 5’6, and his lack of muscles along with the fact that he wore an honest to fucking god fanny pack didn’t help his 12 year old boy appearance. Of course, the fanny pack got worse— it was full of pills, eye drops, hand sanitizer, lotion, chapstick, and most importantly, his inhaler. Yes, Eddie was a fucking asthmatic hypochondriac and germaphobe, with an equally insane mother. Richie didn’t doubt that the asshole spent more time perusing WebMD than texting or checking social media.

He wore chunky turtlenecks in the winter, and in the hotter months, his tanned legs adorned tube socks and short-shorts (they were awful, although Richie had to admit they made his ass look great). His small hands gripped onto his stuffed backpack (kid already had a fanny pack full of shit, what else did he have to bring to school?). Eddie’s brown hair was always found in a overly gelled comb over, not a hair out of place. He reminded Richie of an off-brand Fred Savage with severe anxiety.

Mostly, Richie knew Eddie Kaspbrak would hate just about every little thing he did. There was no way they’d even be friends, let alone anything more.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me Bev.”

a/n: thanks for reading!!! richie and eddie will actually talk next chapter, don't worry. also for any concerned about the gretta/richie thing it's not Too Big of a Deal as it is in the movie, i just need it for some plot points (but overall richie is like 100% over gretta and it was just something stupid he did).

[thecaffeinatedkansasbabe-blog]

Random Questions - Send Me Numbers!

Here is a set of 200 random questions for people to ask you in order to get to know you better. Remember to include the questions in your answers. Please reblog!

1. What is your middle name? 2. Do you have any nicknames? 3. Do you have any allergies? 4. What is the longest your hair has ever been? 5. Apple or PC? 6. Favorite flavor? 7. Have you ever been on a blind date? 8. Are you friends with any of your exes? 9. What kind of car do you drive? 10. How grammatically correct are you when you text? 11. What foreign country would you most like to visit and why? 12. Creamy or chunky peanut butter? 13. Favorite food to pig out on? 14. DC or Marvel? 15. Disney or Nickelodeon? 16. Do you have any stickers on your laptop computer? 17. Name/author of the last book you read cover to cover. Do you recommend it? 18. Do you read any magazines? 19. Coffee or tea? 20. What is your go-to Starbucks drink? 21. How many things can do with your weaker hand? 22. Last show you binge watched? 23. Dogs or cats? 24. Favorite Disney princess? 25. Do you like fast food? 26. Favorite thing to cook for yourself? 27. Favorite song to sing in the shower? 28. Have you ever butt dialed anyone? 29. iPhone/iPad or Android? 30. Any styles of music you do not like? 31. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same gender? If so, did you like it? 32. Have you ever gotten a ticket while driving? 33. Favorite emoji? 34. Showers or baths? 35. Is there anything you regret buying? 36. Are you fluent in more than one language? 37. Any movie(s) you can watch over and over again and enjoy just as much every time? 38. What is the heaviest you have ever weighed? 39. Do you have any tattoos? If so, how many and where? 40. Have you ever uttered a spoken hashtag? 41. Favorite school subject? 42. Favorite non-chocolate candy? 43. Name one celebrity you dislike. 44. If you could have one superpower, which one would you most like to have? 45. From 1-10, rate your singing ability. 46. From 1-10, rate your dancing ability. 47. From 1-10, rate your cooking ability. 48. From 1-10, rate your driving ability. 49. Are you religious? 50. Do you drink soda? If so, which one is your favorite? 51. Have you ever locked your keys in your car? 52. Spring or autumn? 53. Do you play any sports? 54. Can you play any musical instruments? 55. Are you more introverted or extroverted? 56. How easily do you cry? 57. Last musical artist you saw live? 58. Favorite YouTube channel? 59. Star Wars or Star Trek? 60. How long have you known your best friend? 61. Have you ever voted for a reality show? 62. Last CD you bought? 63. Have you ever ended a romantic relationship? 64. Have you ever been broken up with? 65. Have you ever been in the audience for the taping of a TV show? 66. How long was your longest relationship? Are you still with that person? 67. Have you seen any Broadway plays or musicals? 68. Have you ever acted in a play or a musical? 69. How flexible are you? 70. Have you ever sexted? 71. Do you own any clothes from garage sales or thrift stores? 72. Real or fake Christmas trees? 73. How many pillows do you sleep with? 74. How well can you write in cursive? 75. What is your political affiliation? 76. Do you like any boy bands? 77. Have you ever broken any bones? 78. Have you ever gotten any stitches? 79. Do you have any piercings in places other than your ears? 80. What is the oldest piece of clothing you still wear and how old is it? 81. Do you like wearing hats? 82. Have you ever dyed your hair? 83. From 1-10, how competitive are you? 84. How long have you been at your current job? 85. Have you ever studied abroad? 86. Phrase you say the most? 87. Have you ever quit a job? 88. Have you ever gotten fired from a job? 89. Have you ever won a trophy? If so, what for? 90. Have you ever been a Boy/Girl Scout? 91. Last thing that made you laugh? 92. Do you eat meat? 93. Are you more of a morning or a night person? 94. Worst habit? 95. Deepest fear? 96. Do you believe in ghosts? 97. If you could take home any animal from the zoo, what animal would you take? 98. Do you consider rapping singing? 99. Favorite costume you wore for Halloween? How old were you? 100. Favorite store to shop at? 101. Have you ever given anyone CPR? 102. Favorite Pokémon? 103. Do you own any homemade clothing? 104. Do you drink alcohol at all? If so, what is your drink of choice? 105. Have you ever skinny dipped? 106. Favorite type of cookie? 107. Favorite flavor of ice cream? 108. Biggest pet peeve? 109. Are you still friends with anyone from high school? 110. Favorite literary character? 111. Are your birth parents still together? 112. Do you wear or have your ever worn glasses? 113. How many of your Facebook friends do you actually hang out with? 114. Have you ever been the victim of a prank? 115. Do you belong to a fraternity or a sorority? 116. Have you ever taken a nude selfie? 117. Are you adopted? 118. Favorite fandom? 119. Oldest memory? 120. Have you ever snorted when you laughed? 121. Can you drive stick? 122. Favorite Disney song? 123. Random boy’s name. 124. Random girls’ name. 125. How often do you eat out at a nice restaurant? 126. How many people are in your nuclear family? 127. What accent do you consider the most attractive? 128. What is your Myers-Briggs personality type? 129. What is your astrological sign? 130. Biggest regret? 131. What type of shoes do you wear the most? 132. Do you like any soap operas? 133. Do you listen to talk radio? 134. What sports team(s) do you root for? 135. Describe your sense of humor. 136. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender? 137. Favorite video game? 138. Name a moment in your life when you were pleasantly surprised. 139. Do you believe in serendipity? 140. Have you ever left a movie theater before the movie was done? 141. Have you ever felt you were born in the wrong period of history? 142. Is sex before marriage wrong? 143. Have you ever gotten a song you dislike stuck in your head? 144. Can you handle spicy food? 145. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as darling, honey, babe, or dear? 146. Do you like MTV? 147. Where on your body are you the most ticklish? 148. TV show or movie you quote/reference the most? 149. Have you ever lived with a roommate you didn’t get along with? 150. Where do you think is the best place to meet a new lover? 151. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? 152. Favorite thing to do outside? 153. Where did you go on your last vacation? 154. Do you say “y'all” at all? 155. Have you ever lived on a farm? 156. Do you believe in evolution? 157. What TV channel do you watch the most? 158. Favorite Beatles song? 159. Have you ever been on TV? 160. Have you ever been to Disney World or Disneyland? 161. Do you like horror movies? 162. Do you like to go fishing? 163. Have you ever been hunting? 164. Do you take medication for anything? 165. Name one item from your bucket list. 166. From 1-10, how much do you like children? 167. Have you ever thought about your wedding? 168. Have you ever been bungee jumping or skydiving? 169. Favorite flower? 170. Do you collect anything? 171. Who was the last person you told a lie to? 172. Have you ever been a bridesmaid or a groomsman? 173. Have you ever had a fortune cookie fortune come true? 174. What was your favorite toy to play with when you were a child? 175. How good are you at math? 176. Have you ever learned anything from a how-to YouTube video? 177. Have you ever participated in a science fair? 178. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? 179. Have you ever participated in a public protest? 180. Do you have a pool at your house? 181. Have you ever hosted a wild party? 182. Do you like karaoke? 183. Have you ever written a love letter? 184. Have you ever ran a marathon? 185. How often do you get mad at yourself? 186. Any guilty pleasures? 187. Fruits or vegetables? 188. Do you live in a house or an apartment? 189. The countryside or the suburbs? 190. Worst job you’ve ever had? 191. Do you hang out with any of your co-workers? 192. Were you ever voted homecoming/prom king or queen? 193. Were you voted a “best” or “most likely to” in high school? 194. Have you ever gotten detention? 195. Have you ever babysat? 196. Have you ever taken a road trip just for the fun of it? 197. How many drinks get you tipsy? 198. Were you a part of any academic clubs in high school or college? 199. Have you ever given a public speech, aside from your schooling? 200. How long have you been on tumblr?

[missrkl]

Descendants Acts 2 -

Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Rachel was having a very stressful day. Her parents were giving her a hard time about not being married yet whilst all their friend’s children were married and had babies. Rachel knew she could not explain to them her reason for being single still. Not only did she find it hard to let people in and trust them, she also had issues with being physically intimate with anyone. The whole thought of how it goes it down really creeped her out. Rachel sighed as she made her way out from the house. The last thing she wanted to do was hang out at home and pretend that everything was fine. The last thing she wanted was to be around her mother who kept nagging her about not having a husband and how bible school won’t exactly be reeling in profits. Her dad had suggested she become one of those mega church pastors and reel in the money through tithes and offering, he was snickering as he told her so. Her dad thought her whole faith was a joke. He had given up on God a long time ago and no longer believed he existed. Yet even after his heart attack and Rachel and her church praying for him and God healing him, he still chose to not believe in God. Rachel sighed again as she walked up the steps to her church, despite it being a weekday she always visited the place, not because it held the presence of God, but it was a place where Christians roamed the halls and by chance she might bump into one. Rachel sat in the foyer for a while, the silence of the church was quite welcoming. Rachel surveyed the entire main hall and imagined the different church services she experienced within its walls. Nothing like home to remind her of home.

Rachel decided to go back out, maybe she should go for a walk in the park. Before she could leave her phone pinged. She opened up the notifications screen and saw she had a message on The Holy Bible Game. The game was also available on the iPhone, but it did have limited features compared to the computer. She had a message from someone named David_Samuel738. She opened the message and read:

Dear Rachel,

You have the highest points ranked in this game and I was wondering if you would like to team up in saving more citizens to the kingdom of God? It would be an honour to work with someone with such a high ranking such as yourself.

David

Rachel thought about it a moment. The levels would begin to get harder and she still did not have The Blood Stained Sword for ultimate victory (overcome by the blood of the lamb). Rachel checked first David’s profile. He was quite high ranking himself, second to hers. She smiled, good, that means he could keep up. She accepted his offer and accepted his friend request. As Rachel was going to put her phone away she saw Matt Kane walking into the building. Lovely, just what she needed, a friendly happy face. Matt smiled widely when he saw Rachel and said hello, she did too. He asked her how she was doing and that they had a worship rehearsal now and the main room will be closing soon. Rachel left him and walked out to the park. She was always happy when seeing other children of God knowing full well they had a mutual understanding of the Lord of Most High. Rachel’s phone pinged again and she opened it, another message from David:

Hi there Rachel,

Thank you so much for accepting my friendship request. Looking forward to working with you. Maybe one day we could meet in person. It would be nice to meet the girl behind the screen.

David

Rachel sighed again and rolled her eyes. This was why she didn’t accept a lot of people online, especially the men. They always ‘wanted to know the girl behind the screen’ which always sounded super creepy to her. Still, the fact he was second highest ranking was something she could not ignore. So as Rachel walked into the park she sat down on the bench and logged into her programme. She changed her clothes and went to the market, as per usual, to see if anything was there to help her on today’s mission. She found Discernment Dove. This was a power that would give her greater wisdom and insight into frauds and deceivers, including wolves in sheep’s clothing. Definitely she needed that. Rachel bought the item, it was very expensive and took half of her virtual savings. It was worth the investment. You don’t get great things for free.

Suddenly David was online and standing beside her. His character was very handsome. Looking more like a warrior hero in a secular comic book than a Holy Bible hero’s of the heart. Rachel wondered if he looked like that in real life? One could only dream. Still, Rachel found herself blushing. She had to remind herself that this wasn’t real. Although there was a real person behind it. As the sun lay its heavy heat on Rachel in the park, the wind blew slightly caressing her skin and cooling her down. Here she sat under the big massive tree, with its branches and leaves giving her the shade and the breeze. The wind blew her hair around her face and David said ‘so, what’s the plan now?’ Rachel smiled, despite this being virtual, there was a real person behind that handsome virtual character and she quite liked him. He reminded her of Pastor Gabriel In her church. Handsome looking and she was glad about that. Rachel explained that she wanted to go down the south side of town to see if there was any citizens down there. She also explained that she was using her phone not her computer so her movements would be limited and would he be willing to cover her if necessary? She explained how she had not lost a life yet during this game, hence she was number one on the charts. David agreed to cover as he was at home using his computer. Where he was it was raining so he wasn’t out. Rachel realised then maybe that he lived far away. Oh well..their two characters on screen walked together in amiable silence. When they arrived at the south side of town there was many many citizens. Too many to choose from and a few specials. Rachel explained that she wasn’t equipped right now to handle any specials. David agreed and said that was a wise decision, no wonder she was number one. Rachel smiled, was he flirting or just complimenting her? Rachel had never put up her photo on this account and in no way was it connected to any of her social media accounts. Her virtual character looked nothing like her, slim and stealthy. Whilst in real life she was round and plump. This man can’t possibly believe she looked anything like her character could she?

Rachel motioned in the game to a group of citizens. None were specials. You could save an entire group of citizens, if you had backup, which she didn’t have. Rachel was usually a Lone Ranger, but maybe God in real life was trying to show her something?

Ecclesiastes 4:9 Two are better than one,

    because they have a good return for their labor:

10 

If either of them falls down,

    one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls

    and has no one to help them up.

David agreed and they both approached the group of citizens, about 10 in total. They were having some sort of picnic. So that meant 10 demons to fight, 5 each. As the demons manifested themselves as they began sharing the gospel story of the kingdom of heaven, Rachel got out her sword of the spirit and began wielding it against them. David too. For some reason their weapons were not working. Rachel remembered then her newly bought product she had bought today, Discernment Dove. Rachel motioned to David to cover her and as he did so, quite epically in fact, Rachel took out the Dove of Discernment and it began to shine and spoke into her characters mind, her spirit presumably in the game:

What they need is deliverance. Prayer is required. Forgiveness needed.

Rachel shouted at David what Discernment Dove had spoken and he understood. So instead of fighting at the demons floating about Rachel and David got on their knees and began to pray. They asked for (special words in the game) Deliverance and Forgiveness in Mashiac Yeshua Name. Discernment Dove spoke again and informed Rachel that the citizens had some forgiving to do, as some of them were backsliders. Rachel repeated what the Dove had told her and the citizens cried and soon was released from their bondage by forgiving. Then David and Rachel took them to the Temple of the Lord to train them. 10 citizens, each on their list. Making them almost unbeatable in the game.

Soon the sun was hiding behind some clouds and Rachel realised that some time had passed. Maybe it was time she went home. She couldn’t stay out forever. Rachel told David ‘good game’ and ‘I have to go now’ and logged out. Her character left David’s standing in the temple of Lord. David had waved. Virtually. Rachel put her phone back in her bag and decided to stop by the church again. She could use the bathroom, much cleaner than McDonald’s. They knew her face, she wasn’t a stranger, they would allow her. Rachel entered the church foyer and saw the worship team taking a break. So she went to the bathroom and one of the worship members was there, Juliet. She had her big curly hair out and Rachel loved that about her. They chatted a little and then Juliet invited Rachel to have tea and biscuits during their worship break. So Rachel joined in and had a good time, talking about the Lord, worship and their upcoming album. Rachel soon made her way home and as boarded the bus she prayed and asked God that her mum would have calmed down by now as she couldn’t handle the stress or the pressure. Rachel breathed in heavily and exhaled heavily. At least she had some fellowship today. Plus she had made a new friend, David.

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[the-panic-the-static]

ALL THE QUESTIONS IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH

1. What is your middle name?I don’t have a middle name

2. Do you have any nicknames?Nope

3. Do you have any allergies?No

4. What is the longest your hair has ever been?To my hips 

5. Apple or PC?pc

6. Favorite flavor?ehh depends on the food

7. Have you ever been on a blind date?No

8. Are you friends with any of your exes?NO

9. What kind of car do you drive?A Citroen

10. How grammatically correct are you when you text?In German, very, in English I try to be 

11. What foreign country would you most like to visit and why?Norway, because it’s so fucking beautiful there AND the US just to see a wonderful human

12. Creamy or chunky peanut butter?creamy 

13. Favorite food to pig out on?

14. DC or Marvel?ehhh idc

15. Disney or Nickelodeon?SAME

16. Do you have any stickers on your laptop computer?I have not!

17. Name/author of the last book you read cover to cover. Do you recommend it?It’s called Bio-Nahrungsmittel für alle ... ?: Trendentwicklungen der Biobranche by Astrid Sara Nave, and ehhh I would recommend it if you’re interested in organic food and speak German (I had to read it for my diploma thesis)

18. Do you read any magazines?I do

19. Coffee or tea?Tea

20. What is your go-to Starbucks drink?I’ve been to Starbucks just once and ehh no thanks

21. How many things can do with your weaker hand?IDK actually nothing tbh

22. Last show you binge watched?None

23. Dogs or cats?Dooogs

24. Favorite Disney princess?wat

25. Do you like fast food?sometimes, sure

26. Favorite thing to cook for yourself?Lately I’ve often been cooking this coconut-rice with vegetables, cashews and dattles cause it’s SO GOOD

27. Favorite song to sing in the shower?Lately: The Heart From Your Hate

28. Have you ever butt dialed anyone?HELL NO

29. iPhone/iPad or Android?Android

30. Any styles of music you do not like?Actually everything else but Metal/Rock tbh

31. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same gender? If so, did you like it?I did and yeah, I liked it

32. Have you ever gotten a ticket while driving?Nope

33. Favorite emoji?EH IDK

34. Showers or baths?DEPENDS ON the day/mood

35. Is there anything you regret buying?Not really, no

36. Are you fluent in more than one language?I am

37. Any movie(s) you can watch over and over again and enjoy just as much every time?There are a few

38. What is the heaviest you have ever weighed?AHHHH

39. Do you have any tattoos? If so, how many and where?3, two on my arms and one on my back

40. Have you ever uttered a spoken hashtag?NOPE

41. Favorite school subject?EH it was Business Informatics and Information- and Mediatechnology

42. Favorite non-chocolate candy?ICE CREAM IF THAT COUNTS AS CANDY

43. Name one celebrity you dislike.IDC

44. If you could have one superpower, which one would you most like to have?READ OTHER PEOPLE’S MINDS I GUESS

45. From 1-10, rate your singing ability.Probably a 3

46. From 1-10, rate your dancing ability.0

47. From 1-10, rate your cooking ability.I love cooking, I’d say a solid 8

48. From 1-10, rate your driving ability.SAME FOR DRIVING

49. Are you religious?No

50. Do you drink soda? If so, which one is your favorite?Not really

51. Have you ever locked your keys in your car?Ehh, no

52. Spring or autumn?Autumn

53. Do you play any sports?nope

54. Can you play any musical instruments?The flute 

55. Are you more introverted or extroverted?Introverted, obviously

56. How easily do you cry?Very, unfortunately

57. Last musical artist you saw live?KORN

58. Favorite YouTube channel?Don’t really have a favourite

59. Star Wars or Star Trek?IDC

60. How long have you known your best friend?5 years!

61. Have you ever voted for a reality show?Ehh, no

62. Last CD you bought?GOOD QUESTION, I don’t really know

63. Have you ever ended a romantic relationship?if you mean if I’ve ever broke up with someone, yeah, I have

64. Have you ever been broken up with?Yeah

65. Have you ever been in the audience for the taping of a TV show?No

66. How long was your longest relationship? Are you still with that person?kinda over a year, no, luckily

67. Have you seen any Broadway plays or musicals?Yeah, with school but I can’t remember anymore

68. Have you ever acted in a play or a musical?When I was in primary school, yeah

69. How flexible are you?kinda, I think

70. Have you ever sexted?Sure

71. Do you own any clothes from garage sales or thrift stores?No, I don’t

72. Real or fake Christmas trees?DON’T REALLY CARE

73. How many pillows do you sleep with?One big and one small

74. How well can you write in cursive?my handwriting is horrible

75. What is your political affiliation?-

76. Do you like any boy bands?HELL NO

77. Have you ever broken any bones?I haven’t

78. Have you ever gotten any stitches?No

79. Do you have any piercings in places other than your ears?I do

80. What is the oldest piece of clothing you still wear and how old is it?a pullover, 3 years I guess

81. Do you like wearing hats?No

82. Have you ever dyed your hair?Sure

83. From 1-10, how competitive are you?I’d say 5, I don’t really know tbh

84. How long have you been at your current job?2 weeks, just started

85. Have you ever studied abroad?No

86. Phrase you say the most?probably “What the fuck” or “I DON’T KNOW”

87. Have you ever quit a job?no

88. Have you ever gotten fired from a job?No

89. Have you ever won a trophy? If so, what for?I have, flute 

90. Have you ever been a Boy/Girl Scout?I haven’t

91. Last thing that made you laugh?TODAY at work I told my co-worker that a girl from my friend’s class and her boyfriend have dildos distributed all over their apartment and we talked about how weird that was cause they don’t hide it when people come visiting them and like, THERE ARE DILDOS ON THE FUCKING TABLE OR COUCH AND THEY JUST DON’T CARE ABOUT IT AND ACT LIKE IT WAS NORMAL TO SHOW EVERYONE LIKE IT WAS SOME DECOR 

92. Do you eat meat?No, actually not

93. Are you more of a morning or a night person?night, definitely

94. Worst habit?Eating at nights, I hate it 

95. Deepest fear?Old habits

96. Do you believe in ghosts?I don’t

97. If you could take home any animal from the zoo, what animal would you take?EHH IDK Probably a tapir, they’re so sweet

98. Do you consider rapping singing?rapping is rapping, singing is singing

99. Favorite costume you wore for Halloween? How old were you?IT WAS A WITH when I was like, 6? 

100. Favorite store to shop at?EHH idk

101. Have you ever given anyone CPR?I haven’t

102. Favorite Pokémon?-

103. Do you own any homemade clothing?NO

104. Do you drink alcohol at all? If so, what is your drink of choice?I do, Gin Tonic

105. Have you ever skinny dipped?YEAH when I was maybe 2 or 3 in our garden 

106. Favorite type of cookie?CHOCOLATE chip, probably

107. Favorite flavor of ice cream?I LIKE THEM ALL CAN’T DECIDE

108. Biggest pet peeve?table manners, probably

109. Are you still friends with anyone from high school?I am

110. Favorite literary character?EHH idc

111. Are your birth parents still together?They are

112. Do you wear or have your ever worn glasses?I have, now I’m wearing contacts

113. How many of your Facebook friends do you actually hang out with?I have like 20 fb friends so yeah, pretty much with everyone of them 

114. Have you ever been the victim of a prank?I haven’t

115. Do you belong to a fraternity or a sorority?No

116. Have you ever taken a nude selfie?I have

117. Are you adopted?I’m not

118. Favorite fandom??

119. Oldest memory?I laughed at a friend’s haircut when I was 6 and she started crying, I regreted it so much that I locked myself in the toilet and cried until my teacher followed me, she needed one hour to make me open the door and brought me back to class, I apologized immediately and since then I’ve never done something like this to anyone ever again, and I won’t 

120. Have you ever snorted when you laughed?No

121. Can you drive stick?I drive stick

122. Favorite Disney song?IDC

123. Random boy’s name.Daniel ♥

124. Random girls’ name.Ehhh, MARLIES

125. How often do you eat out at a nice restaurant?maybe 2-3 times a month

126. How many people are in your nuclear family?4

127. What accent do you consider the most attractive?IDK I JUST KNOW that mine is the ugliest

128. What is your Myers-Briggs personality type?IDK

129. What is your astrological sign?Gemini

130. Biggest regret?THERE ARE some I guess idk

131. What type of shoes do you wear the most?BOOTS

132. Do you like any soap operas?Nah

133. Do you listen to talk radio?No

134. What sports team(s) do you root for?NONE

135. Describe your sense of humor.IDK it’s weird I guess

136. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender?Today a girl randomly sent me her tits, if that counts

137. Favorite video game?BATTLEFIELD AT THE MOMENT

138. Name a moment in your life when you were pleasantly surprised.When I got the job I haven’t thought I would get

139. Do you believe in serendipity?No really

140. Have you ever left a movie theater before the movie was done?Yeah

141. Have you ever felt you were born in the wrong period of history?SOmetimes, yeah

142. Is sex before marriage wrong?Of course not? wtf

143. Have you ever gotten a song you dislike stuck in your head?I have

144. Can you handle spicy food?I love spicy food

145. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as darling, honey, babe, or dear?I have

146. Do you like MTV?Nah

147. Where on your body are you the most ticklish?Probably feet

148. TV show or movie you quote/reference the most?idk

149. Have you ever lived with a roommate you didn’t get along with?No

150. Where do you think is the best place to meet a new lover?idk, probably in a restaurant or bar, I think it’s not important as long as both feel comfortable with the place

151. Have you ever successfully been on a diet?I have

152. Favorite thing to do outside?EHH GO FOR A WALK? IDK

153. Where did you go on your last vacation?Croatia

154. Do you say “y'all” at all?sometimes, I do

155. Have you ever lived on a farm?I haven’t

156. Do you believe in evolution?I do

157. What TV channel do you watch the most?I don’t watch TV at all

158. Favorite Beatles song?IDC

159. Have you ever been on TV?No, luckily

160. Have you ever been to Disney World or Disneyland?Nope

161. Do you like horror movies?I do

162. Do you like to go fishing?Haven’t been in years, used to go sometimes with my dad when I was like 4?

163. Have you ever been hunting?Ehhh no?

164. Do you take medication for anything?I do

165. Name one item from your bucket list.I don’t have such a list

166. From 1-10, how much do you like children?it depends on the child? I’d say a 5

167. Have you ever thought about your wedding?Nah

168. Have you ever been bungee jumping or skydiving?I haven’t

169. Favorite flower?I LOVE THEM ALL

170. Do you collect anything?LINGERIE if that counts

171. Who was the last person you told a lie to?MY MOTHER TODAY cause she asked me when I’m going to visit them again and I said I didn’t know even though I’m going to visit them tomorrow!

172. Have you ever been a bridesmaid or a groomsman?No

173. Have you ever had a fortune cookie fortune come true?ehh no

174. What was your favorite toy to play with when you were a child?can’t even remember

175. How good are you at math?not too good, not too bad

176. Have you ever learned anything from a how-to YouTube video?No

177. Have you ever participated in a science fair?No

178. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender?Nope

179. Have you ever participated in a public protest?No

180. Do you have a pool at your house?I haven’t

181. Have you ever hosted a wild party?nope

182. Do you like karaoke?No really

183. Have you ever written a love letter?I have

184. Have you ever ran a marathon?No

185. How often do you get mad at yourself?Like, all the time

186. Any guilty pleasures? I don’t think so

187. Fruits or vegetables?BOTH

188. Do you live in a house or an apartment?Apartment

189. The countryside or the suburbs?both has its pros and cons, for me it’s the suburbs

190. Worst job you’ve ever had?-

191. Do you hang out with any of your co-workers?NOT YET

192. Were you ever voted homecoming/prom king or queen?We don’t have this dumb shit over here, luckily 

193. Were you voted a “best” or “most likely to” in high school?wtf

194. Have you ever gotten detention?no

195. Have you ever babysat?I have

196. Have you ever taken a road trip just for the fun of it?Of course

197. How many drinks get you tipsy?I think it starts around drink number 6

198. Were you a part of any academic clubs in high school or college?-

199. Have you ever given a public speech, aside from your schooling?no

200. How long have you been on tumblr? For almost 3 years now

THANK YOU SO MUCH DANIEL ♥

[georgieeebennett]

Close your eyes 24

Summary: Kurt Hummel is the crown prince of the European  country Denmark. He  has a bad relationship with his father and when  Kurt crossed yet another line his father decides to get his son out of  the public eye for a  little while and he sends him to America for a  year. Also on: FF/AO3 Previous chapters

---

“Kurt, you have to see it from my point of view. I can accept whatever you have going on in your private life, but this is about the country." Burt said. It is 10 pm and they have been talking for 3 hours now. They even had dinner while discussing the situation. Neither of them had gave in on what they believed in. But Kurt felt that they were going to have to compromise on it soon. "But, still. This is about me being happy and being true to who I am. There are millions of people around the world like me. I will never fall in love with a woman on that level. Millions of people all around the world are not straight. I could represent them. I could be someone they could look up to. I'm ready for that. I want to represent that. I finally want to be someone. Not just a name. I want to be a person behind the name." Kurt said he was walking around and accentuating his actions with his hands. Being the dramatic person that he is. His father was sitting in the big couch. He looked exhausted.

"Okay. Kurt. I see you. But gay or straight, I expect you to be a responsible king. No sleeping around, no new boyfriend every 2 weeks. I would also appreciate it if you wouldn't talk to your ex troublemaker anymore." Burt said. Kurt looked at his father, his father's words were slowly sinking in. "Do you mean that..?" Kurt asked trying not to sound too exciting. Burt nodded. "If you are really sure that this is the path you want to go down to, then I'll have to respect that. You're an adult now after all. But, there are ground rules. No sleeping around. I do expect children and they better be yours Kurt." Burt said standing up to take a cookie from the dessert tray. Kurt nodded and crossed the room to hug his father. "Thank you, dad. Thank you so much" he said not wanting to let go.

"Kurt, I never wanted your live to be a hell. I never wished that. My life has been hard too. I'm happy that now, we're in this together. We're on the same page and working together instead of against each other." Kurt nodded still hugging his father. He let go and nodded. "So. We're even?" Kurt asked. Burt nodded. "I'm going to call my advisor now and ask him if he wants to let you do an announcement. But, don't worry about that now. Go to bed and sleep. " He said. Kurt shook his head. "I'm going to make that call and you are going to sleep. You look exhausted father." Kurt said walking over to the desk where to phone was standing. "I guess I can trust you. Ask for tomorrow." Burt said before leaving his office.

After Kurt made that phonecall he turned off the light in his father's office and he ran downstairs to the bar. Nobody was really sitting there except for their barman. "Hello prince Kurt" he said teasing him a bit. Kurt smiled, he can't lie that he missed some of the castle staff. After all, that's who he grew up with. "I think you're still too young to come here Prince" mister Peters said. Kurt shook his head. "I'm 18 now. But, I was just going to ask you for a glass of water actually" Kurt said not even bothering to sit down on a chair. "That's strange. Normally I had to make you those big cocktails and pretend there was alcohol in them" he said. Kurt smiled at the memories. "I was 14. I wanted to be cool." Kurt said taking the glass that he was offered. "I want my glass back" mister Peters said. Kurt nodded. "First thing in the morning"

-----

"Are you ready Prince Kurt?" A camera guy said. The autocue was ready and Kurt was standing in the ballroom of the castle. He was wearing a white dress up shirt and a tartan pair of trousers. He paired it with a bowtie that Marc Jacobs had designed for him. It had a real Swiss watch inside. He spent 1 hour doing his hair. So yes. Kurt is ready. He took a deep breath and put on a smile.

"Yes, I'm ready" Kurt said fixing his bowtie one last time. The director started counting him in, the autocue started rolling "3,2,.."

"Dear people of this country

This is your crown prince Kurt. In a few days I'll take over the throne from my father. Before I do that, I would like to be honest with all of you. You might have caught on that I am a tad bit different than my father. I'm doing this announcement because I want to end the discussion about my sexuality. I want to use this moment to officially announce that I am gay. That means that I only am attracted to other men. Having said that I would like to keep my personal life and who I might or might not have relationships with, private. I also want to announce that I made a twitter and Tumblr account, so I stand closer to you guys. If you want more information. You can find it on the national website. This is everything I want to announce. Enjoy your day and I hope to see you all on 5 June" Kurt smiled at the camera and someone thumbed him up.

Kurt clapped in his hands and did a little dance. "Yeah baby" The crew all silently laughed. "How do you feel now Prince Kurt?" The director asked. Kurt smiled and let go of breath of air. "I feel relieved. It's finally out there. I'm finally truly out you know. I haven't spent that much time in the closet. Enough to pick my outfit today of course. But I never hid. It was more other people who wanted me to hide it." Kurt explained. The director nodded. "What are you wearing now Prince?" He asked. Kurt lit up from the question "H&M trousers. I bought them in America. Dior shirt. Doctor Martens boots and my bowtie is something Marc Jacobs designed for me. It's a black fabric where he fizzeled around with a Swiss watch. I really like it." Kurt said. He had no idea they were still filming him. "You should do an outfit of the day on your Tumblr" the director said.  "I'll think about it." He said. He was chatting for 2 minutes more when someone ran in with his phone that he left in the kitchen. "It's an English boy" she said.

-----

Blaine was in his advanced English senior class when the projector stopped and started showing the live announcement of the crown prince. Quinn winked at him when he said that he was gay and Blaine just smiled. But then the announcement was over and the cameras didn't stop filming and Kurt didn't realise it. Everyone started laughing after a while and Blaine tried to understand what Kurt was saying in Danish. "He doesn't even realise it" the teacher said. Laughing at Kurt. Quinn looked at Blaine. "You have to call him" she said. Blaine nodded and looked at the teacher. "Can I?" He asked. The teacher nodded. Blaine quickly called his boyfriend. A woman answered the phone. "Can I talk to Prince Kurt? It's an emergency" She mumbled something in Danish and he heard her walking. It was a long walk. "She's getting him" Blaine said covering the microphone part of his iPhone. The walking kept going on till he heard her saying something to Kurt that he once again couldn't figure out.

"Hey. Blaine. Aren't you in school?" He asked. Blaine looked at the screen and nodded before he realised that he could see Kurt, but Kurt couldn't see him. "I am in class. I got permission to call you because someone had to tell you that you're still on live television" Kurt froze in his spot and looked at the camera or well more behind it. The whole class was looking between Blaine and Kurt although the latter was on live television. Kurt gave someone behind the camera a death glare and turned around and ran out of the ballroom where everyone could still see him till he ran around the corner. "You're out of sight and they stopped the announcement" Blaine said knowing that he would have to hang up. "I swear. I hate them now. I thought it was over" Kurt said. Blaine just hmmed. "Kurt. I would love to talk to you right now but, I'm kind of still in class." He could hear the other man sigh. "I'll just entertain myself then. I'll call when I'm free tonight. Bye Blaine" he said. "Bye Kurt" he quickly put his phone away.

"We didn't know you had royal connections Blaine" one of his fellow classmates said. But it was in Danish, so Blaine stared at him till he repeated it in English. "Yes, Blaine. Share with the class how you have the phone number of the crown prince" the teacher said. Blaine blushed a little. "We were roommates in boarding school." Blaine felt very uncomfortable talking about Kurt so he was very happy when the teacher went on with English lesson.

next

[z3r0thez3r0]

Random question tag

1. Favourite song at the moment:

Careless Whisper by George Micheal

but for Kpop it would probably be: Highlight by Seventeen’s Performance unit (not thirteen member)

2. A word or phrase you overuse:

“TEEHEE”

3. Least favourite food:

Spinach

4. If you could spend your entire life with a kpop/khh group or solo artist, who would you choose:

Probably Seventeen

5. Who/what’s your screensaver/background at the moment:

On my phone: 

Lockscreen: Jong Dae fanart

Homescreen: Jong Dae scan from Dear Happiness

On my laptop:

lockscreen: Chan

icon: Rap Monster

Wallpaper: Ji Min

6. Zodiac sign:

Scorpio

7. Vans or Jordans:

Vans

8. Biggest pet peeve at the moment:

When someone will follow me around me annoying me before asking me to do something for then. And immediately get pissed at me when I tell the to stop.

9. CL or hyunA:

CL; have you heard Hello Bitches? IT’S MY JAM

10. Smtm or unpretty rapstar?

Show me the money

11. Iphone or android:

Android

Random tag

List 5 things that make me happy:

1. Copacabana by Barry Manilow

2. NCT (doesn’t matter what unit)

3. Talking to @seungcheolsbaby

4. Hanging out with my older sister and making jokes

5. Dancing and choreographing

Full Name: Caroline

Single or Taken: Single and ready to eat pringles

Crushes: what are crushes?

Favourite color: Green

Girl Best Friend(s): Hannah, Maine, Savannah, Samantha

Guy Best Friend(s): I don’t have one

Married?: No, never

Want kids: Nope

Snapchat: Okamiwolf_01

Last Drank: V8 juice

Glasses: nope

Makeup or no: I try to stay away from it, unless I need it for performances

I tag: @xiuminel @seungcheolsbaby @larizelle @mylifeiskpoptrash

[restingbritishface]

all the questions

1.What is your middle name? Grace2. Do you have any nicknames? The ones you call me lol3. Do you have any allergies? Seasonal and maybe dairy and penicillin4. What is the longest your hair has ever been? However long it is now lol5. Apple or PC? PC just because I’ve only used it6. Favorite flavor? Omfg for what though, maybe cinnamon or chocolate7. Have you ever been on a blind date? Nope8. Are you friends with any of your exes? Nope lol they were all weird assholes9. What kind of car do you drive? ‘02 ford taurus10. How grammatically correct are you when you text? Very in terms of spelling and verbs and shit but punctuation is nonexistent11. What foreign country would you most like to visit and why? England obviously lolipo12. Creamy or chunky peanut butter? Depends on my mood lol14. DC or Marvel? DC just because WW15. Disney or Nickelodeon? Disney16. Do you have any stickers on your laptop computer? Nope17. Name/author of the last book you read cover to cover. Do you recommend it? Whatever the second Magnus Chase book is lol18. Do you read any magazines? Nope19. Coffee or tea? Both but i drink coffee more20. What is your go-to Starbucks drink? Either a london fog or blonde roast21. How many things can do with your weaker hand? A lot except writing22. Last show you binge watched? Maybe merlin?23. Dogs or cats? Cats but dogs are good too24. Favorite Disney princess? Elsa/Moana25. Do you like fast food? Depends on my mood but not normally, I just get in the mood for certain things like fries26. Favorite thing to cook for yourself? maybe cookies idk27. Favorite song to sing in the shower? Whatever comes to mind lol28. Have you ever butt dialed anyone? Thank fuck no29. iPhone/iPad or Android? Ipod30. Any styles of music you do not like? fucking country music lol31. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same gender? If so, did you like it? lol what gender are we talking about here (but no never been kissed)

32. Have you ever gotten a ticket while driving? nope33. Favorite emoji? don’t use emojis really34. Showers or baths? BATHS35. Is there anything you regret buying? an amp for my electric guitar lol i’ve used it like 3 times36. Are you fluent in more than one language? nope i wish37. Any movie(s) you can watch over and over again and enjoy just as much every time? moana and wonder woman and pride39. Do you have any tattoos? If so, how many and where? nope not yet40. Have you ever uttered a spoken hashtag? yeah but ironically lol41. Favorite school subject? whatever has the least hw lol42. Favorite non-chocolate candy? ???? that exists?43. Name one celebrity you dislike. Johnny depp because he’s abusive44. If you could have one superpower, which one would you most like to have? flying or shapeshifting 45. From 1-10, rate your singing ability. 846. From 1-10, rate your dancing ability. 847. From 1-10, rate your cooking ability. 848. From 1-10, rate your driving ability. 849. Are you religious? nope lol50. Do you drink soda? If so, which one is your favorite? not usually lol51. Have you ever locked your keys in your car? yes haha52. Spring or autumn? AUTUMN53. Do you play any sports? dance is a sport so yes54. Can you play any musical instruments? piano and guitar55. Are you more introverted or extroverted? both?56. How easily do you cry? i used to cry super easily but it takes a lot to make me cry now tbh57. Last musical artist you saw live? idk maybe jonas brothers58. Favorite YouTube channel? i don’t really have one tbh59. Star Wars or Star Trek? both60. How long have you known your best friend? two years in december61. Have you ever voted for a reality show? nope62. Last CD you bought? harry styles63. Have you ever ended a romantic relationship? yep lol64. Have you ever been broken up with? yep lol65. Have you ever been in the audience for the taping of a TV show? nope66. How long was your longest relationship? Are you still with that person? almost a year and thank god no67. Have you seen any Broadway plays or musicals? ayyy yes aladdin68. Have you ever acted in a play or a musical? no but i auditioned for one once69. How flexible are you? very tbh70. Have you ever sexted? ....yes lol you know that71. Do you own any clothes from garage sales or thrift stores? idk i don’t think so72. Real or fake Christmas trees? i love how real smells but fake is easier73. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1-274. How well can you write in cursive? if i try hard then relaly well75. What is your political affiliation? not conservative lol76. Do you like any boy bands? idk i don’t really know77. Have you ever broken any bones? nope lol78. Have you ever gotten any stitches? yeah when i got my wisdom teeth out79. Do you have any piercings in places other than your ears? nope lol80. What is the oldest piece of clothing you still wear and how old is it? a winter coat maybe 5 years old81. Do you like wearing hats? nope lol makes my hair frizzy82. Have you ever dyed your hair? not yet83. From 1-10, how competitive are you? maybe a 6?84. How long have you been at your current job? 3 years85. Have you ever studied abroad? nope86. Phrase you say the most? no worries87. Have you ever quit a job? nope88. Have you ever gotten fired from a job? nope89. Have you ever won a trophy? If so, what for? yep my dance team won 1st 90. Have you ever been a Boy/Girl Scout? was briefly a girl scout91. Last thing that made you laugh? a video of two hamsters92. Do you eat meat? chicken sometimes but i avoid it otherwise93. Are you more of a morning or a night person? nightttt94. Worst habit? probably talking negatively about myself tbh95. Deepest fear? losing people I love96. Do you believe in ghosts? not really97. If you could take home any animal from the zoo, what animal would you take? Idk maybe a leopard98. Do you consider rapping singing? no but it’s cool99. Favorite costume you wore for Halloween? How old were you? a slytherin hermione when i was like eight100. Favorite store to shop at? kohls lol it’s cheap101. Have you ever given anyone CPR? nope102. Favorite Pokémon? no clue lol103. Do you own any homemade clothing? yep 104. Do you drink alcohol at all? If so, what is your drink of choice? not 21 yet lol105. Have you ever skinny dipped? ...not yet106. Favorite type of cookie? chocolate chip107. Favorite flavor of ice cream? chocolate chip cookie dough108. Biggest pet peeve? shitty drivers and shitty customers109. Are you still friends with anyone from high school? sort of 110. Favorite literary character? alex fierro or nico di angelo111. Are your birth parents still together? unfortunately112. Do you wear or have your ever worn glasses? probably should tbh but no113. How many of your Facebook friends do you actually hang out with? i don’t have a fb lol114. Have you ever been the victim of a prank? yeah lol i have 3 brothers so of course115. Do you belong to a fraternity or a sorority? nope116. Have you ever taken a nude selfie? yeah lol117. Are you adopted? I wishhhh118. Favorite fandom? I’m sort of in too many for that lol119. Oldest memory? napping with my dad on the couch when i was like 2-3120. Have you ever snorted when you laughed? yeah lol121. Can you drive stick? nope122. Favorite Disney song? all of them lol maybe Shiny123. Random boy’s name. Sam124. Random girls’ name. Ellie125. How often do you eat out at a nice restaurant? maybe twice a year126. How many people are in your nuclear family? 8 but we pretend there’s 7127. What accent do you consider the most attractive? ...british128. What is your Myers-Briggs personality type? enfp129. What is your astrological sign? taurus130. Biggest regret? not being more confident131. What type of shoes do you wear the most? ankle boooots132. Do you like any soap operas? nope133. Do you listen to talk radio? nope134. What sports team(s) do you root for? nope135. Describe your sense of humor. sexual and observational and sarcastic136. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender? lol what gender are we talking about here137. Favorite video game? Skyrim138. Name a moment in your life when you were pleasantly surprised. finding out my financial aid covers all my tuition139. Do you believe in serendipity? Sure?140. Have you ever left a movie theater before the movie was done? nope141. Have you ever felt you were born in the wrong period of history? nope142. Is sex before marriage wrong? lolllll yes.... it’s sooooo wrooooong....143. Have you ever gotten a song you dislike stuck in your head? god yes144. Can you handle spicy food? yes pleeeeease145. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as darling, honey, babe, or dear? yep146. Do you like MTV? lol nope147. Where on your body are you the most ticklish? i’m not super ticklish 148. TV show or movie you quote/reference the most? i don’t really know149. Have you ever lived with a roommate you didn’t get along with? uhhh my parents150. Where do you think is the best place to meet a new lover? idk lol152. Favorite thing to do outside? go back inside153. Where did you go on your last vacation? nyc154. Do you say “y'all” at all? nooo155. Have you ever lived on a farm? noooo156. Do you believe in evolution? idk probably157. What TV channel do you watch the most? i just watch netflix158. Favorite Beatles song? lol idk159. Have you ever been on TV? nope160. Have you ever been to Disney World or Disneyland? disneyland once161. Do you like horror movies? not really162. Do you like to go fishing? no163. Have you ever been hunting? no164. Do you take medication for anything? yes165. Name one item from your bucket list. cut my hair166. From 1-10, how much do you like children? 10000167. Have you ever thought about your wedding? yessss168. Have you ever been bungee jumping or skydiving? no but i’d do it169. Favorite flower? anything bright, maybe daisies170. Do you collect anything? i just sort of collect a lot of shit that means a lot to me171. Who was the last person you told a lie to? my parents172. Have you ever been a bridesmaid or a groomsman? yep173. Have you ever had a fortune cookie fortune come true? idk i don’t think so174. What was your favorite toy to play with when you were a child? barbies i think 175. How good are you at math? basic math is pretty easy for me176. Have you ever learned anything from a how-to YouTube video? yep, how to cry because i apparently need a welding tool for a ww costume lol177. Have you ever participated in a science fair? nope178. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? well there’s more genders than just two so opposite isn’t really a good word there179. Have you ever participated in a public protest? nope180. Do you have a pool at your house? nope181. Have you ever hosted a wild party? nnope182. Do you like karaoke? not really183. Have you ever written a love letter? sort of184. Have you ever ran a marathon? no185. How often do you get mad at yourself? a lot186. Any guilty pleasures? ice cream187. Fruits or vegetables? fruit188. Do you live in a house or an apartment? house189. The countryside or the suburbs? countryside190. Worst job you’ve ever had? customer service 191. Do you hang out with any of your co-workers? i used to192. Were you ever voted homecoming/prom king or queen? nope193. Were you voted a “best” or “most likely to” in high school? nope194. Have you ever gotten detention? nope195. Have you ever babysat? yep196. Have you ever taken a road trip just for the fun of it? nope197. How many drinks get you tipsy? idk lol198. Were you a part of any academic clubs in high school or college? nope199. Have you ever given a public speech, aside from your schooling? nope200. How long have you been on tumblr? since 2013 or 2014

[n2elove-blog]

Kik Messenger Cellphone Free App

Kik Messenger APK 7.9.zero.143 is greatest communication app for to talk instantly from android.  Kik Messenger, for instance, is likely one of the hottest prompt messaging functions on the planet however it is only designed to work on cellular gadgets. If Google Play Store is freezing or not working in your Phone, we advocate you to download KiK Messenger APK 2017 from below.

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Step 6: Launch the sport and you can now play Kik on computer utilizing a mouse or your keyboard and even your touchscreen, you need to use the control button to emulate the pinch perform to zoom in and out. While you're chatting one to at least one or in teams, just tap the video icon within the high proper.

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Since Kik Messenger will auto-save the last 600 messages in a dialog for at least 48 hours and 200 messages that exist for greater than 2 days. One other approach is to download from Google Play Retailer for which you want a Gmail account and a working Google Play Retailer App.

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By visiting the Bot Store you may meet synthetic friends to speak with when your mates aren't around. KIk messaging service also offers customers an entire access to the large selection of emoticons for FREE. This way you possibly can easily install the KIK APK file on your system, by merely following this instruction in the above.

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If you're in search of an app of chats and messages totally free that's easy and really easy to make use of and, through which, you wouldn't have to give your telephone number so as to add contacts, download free Kik Messenger for your Android and chat with whoever you need with out dropping your privateness.

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Nevertheless, as with many of those chat apps, your choice about whether or not or to not use Kik may rely upon what number of of your friends are signed up. And, whereas Kik's aim seems to be to incorporate features that make it a one-cease-store for users needs, quite than simply being a messaging app, the truth that it lacks so many primary features is likely to cease it turning into a market leader.

Yes, emojis, with which you can converse no matter involves your mind together with your dear ones regardless of wherever you are either at school or faculties or anywhere else KIK all the time obtained covered. As soon as you've found some associates who're additionally utilizing Kik you can start chatting by clicking on the chat bubble.

Kik Messenger can be one of many first apps you will discover listed in BlueStacks and all it's important to do is click on on it and download it from Google Play to put in it in BlueStacks. KIK app helps us to find new buddies across the globe, who shares the same curiosity as you do. This fashion you may stay in contact even together with your new associates as well as your shut buddies too.

For that, you'll need a Apple ID. Sadly, there are no other ways to make use of KiK Messenger on Apple devices. If you are prepared to download the application then you'll be able to go to Google Play Store or other app retailer in your phone and search for Kik Messenger app.

You have to to enter your first and final name, create a Kik username, and enter in your email handle and password. Kik Messenger handles all the precise transmission of the content material, with the same speed and reliability as our text chat.

Kik is the primary manner people join in different social apps like Instagram and SocialCam. Owned by the Chinese expertise firm Tencent Corporation, WeChat is a free IM service which enables you to discover new buddies with the buddy radar feature. Nonetheless, you need to use KiK Messenger on Mac iOS devices by downloading BlueStacks or a dmg file of the app.

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Right here on this article, we'll present you straightforward and simple technique to recuperate deleted Kik messages or photographs on Android cellphone. To make use of Kik Messenger consumer ought to have a working data plan on his cellular or a WiFi to send or obtain messages.

For now this feature is Android only, but we're taking a look at the potential of KiK Messenger Spy for iPhone in the future. Kik mentioned they want to absolutely mimic the way in which teenagers hang out IRL” and that is the closest they can get to. The video chat toggle is within the upper proper hand corner, and once you faucet it, it is simple to determine the remainder.

Many instant messaging apps are literally FREE however some apps might require a cellular number upon registering your account. There are a number of parental management and nanny apps available that you should use to observe all activity in your teen's phone. It ought to work simply wonderful on units operating Android model 4.0 or later, making it accessible to many customers.

KiK Messenger for Android really does an amazing thing and lets you chat with your mates. You can share photographs, movies and gifs with family and friends using Kik App similar to WhatsApp. When your iPhone is nearly full and does not have enough out there storage, you may experience Kik crashes on iOS 10/9/8 iPhone, or iPad.

When you can change the colour of your chat bubbles, there is no possibility to alter the background to your chats. Kik has a flexibility that gives users the ability to speak with individuals, or rapidly begin a group dialog. This message will probably be despatched to the e-mail tackle you used once you created your Kik account.

We have spent 1000's of hours ensuring Kik is the easiest, most beautiful smartphone messenger around. If Kik crashes on opening or freezes when you try to send footage, attempt force closing after which re-opening Kik on your machine. All you need to do is scan the distinctive code, open the chat and send the message simply.

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It's not solely FREE however is also very simple to install alongside along with your favorite Android apps whether for video games, communication, photograph-editing and other utility primarily based software program. KIK APK is yet another standard on the spot messaging app and has over 300 million customers internationally.

With the assistance of KIK codes, you'll be able to simply and shortly get related with your favorite peoples across the globe. Since this is a push chat primarily based on the telephone quantity, once you get it, it makes an inventory of these of your contacts which can be already utilizing Kik Messenger.

To have the ability to log in to multiple kik account one the identical telephone at the same time is something I have been wanting for ages! Kik offers the pliability of using the application even via PCs and desktops, by way of net access or android emulators.

Kik messenger has a lot of new options like video name, voice call, prompt messages, on the spot backup, restoring backup instantly and way more. Keep in touch with to obtain fascinating and newly coming APKs to take pleasure in in your sensible devices totally free.

As in Kik Messenger you get identified with a consumer title and not with the cellphone number, this app is extra handy to speak with the those that we meet within the social networks or in games, as it's not necessary to vulnerate the privateness of your number.

[justnoise-blog1]

Live at Leeds 2017

Live at Leeds is a festival dear to my heart, having either worked, photographed partied or taken ill at it, I've been every year since 2009 and I show no sign of stopping. It is an award winning metropolitan festival that takes place across various venues in the city and just beyond, and personally this is my favourite type of festival. Lots of walking, drinking, and listening to great music with great people.

Every year I attend this event with one of my closest friends, and it’s just become that thing we do, and just recently have added another similar event to our line-up but i’ll come to that in another post. We start the day with bacon and egg butties, strong coffee, sturdy shoes and an open mind and always have a quick run through of our schedule so we don’t miss anything.

This year we kicked things of in Oporto with Faux Pas & Joy Room. As is usually the case, tickets sell fast and these small venues fill up and spill out, so when Faux Pas came on stage there was a brick wall between their performance and my eyes, but this wasn’t so bad as the sound that came through the gridlocked doorway was enough to get my feet moving. Ironically my stand out track from these guys, and the reason they were on my list is ‘I Hate Dancing’. The Jangly guitar riffs behind some semi-grungy vocals marry perfectly to give your bum a bit of a wiggle, and their live performance of this track didn't differ much from the recording, which is always a bonus. When they had wrapped up their set, we managed to slink further in to the venue to actually see the next band Joy Room perform.  As they set up, the room started to fill with a crowd looking to be 10 years our junior so we weren’t really sure what to expect. I couldn’t help but think of an early Kings of Leon, Kick the Bucket kind of vibe, which i love so this band we’re a nice little addition to our day. As we hadn’t actually scheduled them in i haven’t got a stand out track, but check them out on Facebook via the link i have provided and make your own mind up.

Still having some time to kill before our main line-up kicked in we headed to The Belgrave Music Hall to see a band called Indigo Husk who claim to be a high energy grungy punky bluesy get up. Not having heard any of their stuff before we had this gig alone to go on, and the high energy thing i get, but only from half of the band, it seemed a bit disjointed as a performance but as the set went on the music grew on me and yeah i guess i’d give them a listen again.

After this we headed off to one of our most anticipated acts of the day, White Lies. This is a band I had wanted to see for many years having first listened to their debut album ‘To Lose My Life’ in my first year of university and had recently missed on a tour just a few months before the festival. They were a late addition to the line-up for Live at Leeds but a very welcome on in my eyes. We rushed up to the venue to get there with plenty of time in order to attempt a front row position, being a photographer I like to assume the best position even if I am just whipping out my iPhone. I’m going to be completely honest about this one, I wasn’t wowed where the stage presence was concerned, but vocally it was pretty damn good. I wasn’t immediately taken in by their latest album ‘Friends’ so at this gig I was holding on to the hope they would do a bit of a throwback to their earlier sound, my favourite track being ‘Farewell to the Fairground’ and I wasn’t disappointed. I must admit I didn’t stick around to the end of their set as the vibe on stage was a bit lacklustre, but I heard what I wanted to, and since the festival their new album has really grown on me and I urge you to give it a listen. The intense booming vocals are still an evident theme throughout, but the twist of the synth gives it a subtle nostalgic 80’s vibe.

Our next stop was Leeds University Refrectory for a bit of a wild card ‘The Hunna’, We’d heard the name but weren’t too sure on what we were getting, yet it turned out to be the best show we saw all day. My first thoughts were, this is the sort of band you listen to when you’re in that teenage in between stage of not knowing whether you’re really that in to rock yet so you’ll settle for a stepping stone. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy it though, the atmosphere was incredible, the crowd were throwing themselves at one another whilst singing at the top of their lungs. Every song was just as catchy as the last, with simple lyrics with just the right amount of arrogance, punchy guitar ringing throughout each track and a consistent beat to keep the crowd moving. The stand out song for me was and still is definitely ‘Bonfire’ which structurally is pop perfection. Starting off slow with some strong vocals and gradually getting more upbeat, introducing new instruments at just the right times to peak your interest, when  you get to the chorus you already feel like you know the words and by the second bridge you’ve nailed it.

The next couple of artists on our line-up were Fickle Friends, chosen for their similarities with HAIM, and Clean Cut Kid for their upbeat indie vibe. At festivals like this I like to inject as much variety in to my day as possible, and these two choices following on from one another reflect that.

Fickle Friends boast a strong female vocal sitting on top of a synth heavy backbeat with some subtle guitar leads thrown in, which was perfect for their mid-afternoon scheduling. I think what I like most about this band are their consistent toe tapping beats throughout each track, allowing the vocals to carry the drops and the soothing pitch of vocals dominate each track with a subtle hint of vulnerability. It was hard not to have a wiggle at this show with their slinky stage presence flowing with the beat, and family members up on the balcony hanging on every word.

We didn’t stick around for much of Clean Cut Kid’s set, but I put them on the list for their track ‘Pick me up’ which isn’t their most recent track but it kicked off the set perfectly and if you are looking for a bit of a pick me up then it’s definitely worth a listen.

The final stop after 9 hours of queuing, listening, dancing, drinking and walking was one I’d been looking forward to since having to leave half way through the set the first time I attended the festival 8 years ago. Frightened Rabbit were one of the main headline acts this year taking stage at Church and I wasn’t about to miss it this time. The first time I was introduced to this band was back in my first year of university where I was discovering a new life in a new city so there is a lot of nostalgia attached to their music for me. We arrived an hour early to this one expecting a packed to the rafters experience, this wasn’t the case but I wasn’t complaining as it meant I got an unspoiled front row spot to the gig I’d been waiting 8 years for. The illusion that this would be the stand out gig of the day, and probably of my Live at Leeds experiences over the last few years was quickly diluted when the words out of Scott’s mouth upon taking stage were filled with self-doubt, but I didn’t want to let that cloud my reasoning for turning up.

They compiled a set list of tracks trailing throughout their entire back catalogue which made it quite refreshing to hear some of my old loves being mingled together with new ones. From their 2008 album ‘The Midnight Organ Fight’ to their most recent release ‘Painting of a Panic Attack’ it is clear that the band have taken a darker turn lyrically, but they manage to peak an interest with their melodies which make you hear some of the more sombre lyrics as beautiful and thought evoking rather than just a bit depressing. It’s hard for me to pick a favourite track of theirs because each tells their own story, but I do have a choice lyric ‘Bare your teeth to me please, Maneater’ which even to me doesn’t make a lot of sense sat by itself but just take a listen to ‘The Wrestle’ which is the track it hides in. I don’t really have a reason why I like it so much, but I’m not sure I need to.

Maybe I was watching this gig through rose tinted glasses, but despite the opening statement, I still hung on to his every word, and it wouldn’t stop me from buying a ticket to their next show.

From start to finish this event for me was as it always has been, a day to discover new music, rekindle old loves, and revel in previously missed opportunities to see some great artists. No performance will ever be completely what you expected it to be, whether that be for better or worse, but whatever happens Live at Leeds is always a festival that I can’t wait to go to again even before it’s over. Until next year….

All photo credits are with www.jennysneap.co.uk

[saturnsovereign]

all 117

Leggo

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

I’m confused by why I’m being asked this question?? Idk I guess I’m confused about the future (like choosing classes) and how to act around certain people.

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

I’m a lucky girl who gets good morning snaps from my gf :)3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

I mean as long as no one gets hurt and its regulated, I don’t mind.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

Not really

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

I was on Tumblr and studying

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

A friend I hope?

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

I don’t know. I’d be hurt but I’ve always known my gf deserves someone better.

8: Are you close with your dad?

Yeah, I guess we’re pretty close, not super close but we have a good relationship

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

No but I wanna kiss my gf

10: What are you listening to?

The Power Rangers OST

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

Water

12: Do you like hickeys?

Giving them or getting them 😏... yes

13: What time do you go to bed?

I usually take a 4 hour nap so I go to bed at around 1:00 AM

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

I don’t think so?

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

I used to be able to text hella quick with my right thumb itself but then I got a bigger iPhone

16: Do you always answer your texts?

I try to but then sometimes I forget and leave it or idk how to respond

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

I fell the hardest for my gf and I certainly don’t hate her at all. But once upon a time-

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

Half an hour ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

My gf

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

i should probably go to sleep

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

My sister

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

Not really... it happens unevenly at the very least

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

Idk I’m about the same level of happiness... well except we had to deal with getting outed...

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

The same person who hates me and who I hate

25: In the past week, have you cried?

...no? I don’t think so?

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

Orange

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

nah, my last name is too hard for some people to pronounce apparently

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

Um the person that hates me and the person that hates my gf and her gf (i don’t really mind about the other two) 

29: Do you have a best friend?

Yes, my gf and my other best friend who’s been with me since 8th grade

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

No, usually I just tell her to suck his dick

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

My gf 

32: Are you mad at anyone?

Person I hate

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

No, cuz I’m usually the oldest 😅

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

17

35: How many more days until your birthday?

271 days

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

Get prepped for college, hang out with my friends before I go, find excuses to see my gf, and whatever my family drags me onto

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

My two sons, and ex-bf

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

I don’t think so?

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

I’ve pretty much told my gf all of my secrets that I can remember...

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

Yes

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

Depends how large the age gap is and when the age gap is

42: Are you available?

I’m taken by a very beautiful and very gay queen goddess 😊

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

It hasn’t ended yet but I’d say 3

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

Maybe on the eyebrow

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

Well I’m friends with one of my exes so yeah. But it totally depends on the relationship

46: Do you regret anything?

A lot

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

I hope my gf is ok and that my back hurts

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

The person I hate

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

As in the last person I kissed or literally my last kiss? Cuz like neither of them were mistakes

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

Cuz I already have her

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

Yeah, on multiple occasions really- both sensitive and sad

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

Yes

53: What was the last thing you ate?

Rocky Road ice cream

54: Did you get any compliments today?

My gf called me beautiful today :)

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

Disneyland if it counts

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

Other than everything that says made-in-China and other exported items, I have a bracelet my grandpa gave me from the Philippines when he visited

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

Girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

Nebraska- 8 years

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

I was with my gf and we went to Oregon together just last week

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

no

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

nope

62: Who do you text the most?

Probs my gf

63: What was the last movie you saw?

POWER RANGERS

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

Um idk me and her bf?

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

066: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

Yes

67: Do you curse around your parents?

I try not to, but it slips sometimes

68: Are you happy with where you live?

I don’t mind my apartment for myself, but like I wish I had a bigger place here in fc to host bondings and have friends come over more often

69: Picture of yourself?

picture an ugly

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

I myself believe I’m monogamous but my gf is poly and like as long as you have consent from each party, its totally fine

71: Have you ever been dumped?

yeah

72: What do you most like about making out?

When you can feel their emotion behind the kisses

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

that one summer before she decided to cut it off before something serious could happen

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

I think usually it’s been me...

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

Eyes and Smile

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

i think it was my gf

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

nope

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

no

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

My girlfriend definitely

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

uhh idk... (babe do you have a child- wait.. the whole guard)

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

Yes

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

Not usually

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

I miss my gf cuz i wanna sleep next to her again. But if you’re talking about my ex-bf, we’re friends but I don’t really miss him

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

Formal

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

No

86: How can I win your heart?

Sorry my gf has my heart so..

87: What is your astrological sign?

CAPRICORN

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

In bed, still on tumblr

89: Do you cook?

Somewhat? like the easy stuff

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

no

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

not single so...

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

I haven’t really dated that many people so idk

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

They have really nice eyes

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

A billion dollars to spoil my gf, inner peace, my license, actual intelligence

95: Are you a player?

no, i don’t think so

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

yeah

97: Are you a tease?

Heh, what if I am 😏😏 

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

Only people i know irl

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

Right now

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

@carm-phine

101: Hugs or Kisses?

Is it too much to ask for both?

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

Like usually they ask me so

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

How tall are they

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

Yes 😊

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

(sexy person is my gf)

106: Do you flirt a lot?

Apparently a lot with my gf

107: Your last kiss?

A few hours ago

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

No

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

Yes

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

My gf 

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

I’m pretty sure my gf (Dear lord so many kissing questions)

112: Does someone like you currently?

I hope my gf likes me

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

Yes, babe I have feelings for you

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Serious

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

No

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

In a relationship... DEAR LORD ALMOST 7 MONTHS

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.

freshman since I know this is probably you. Tell us about your new gf. If you’re not freshman then idk.

[ecotone99]

[MS] The last thing I remember was a year ago...

“Would I be truthful in

Choosing you as the one for me?

Is this love, baby,

Or is it just confusion?”

Jimi Hendrix.

​

LOVE OR CONFUSION.

​

JANE WHITE.

I woke up in a hospital bed. My head was pounding. My arm was in a cast, it too in nearly unbearable pain; my right arm, the side of me that Chris stood at, smiling down at me as if I was his girl and not, to my left, Paul’s. I’d always had a feeling he’d wanted me. Not in a narcissistic, prissy kind of way, but in a “you’d have to be stupid not to see the signs, Jane” kind of way. The fact that he’d tagged along with my boyfriend to see me wake up from a coma spoke volumes. I mean, yeah, you could argue he was just there to support his friend in these emotionally turbulent times, but if you knew how he acted around me, all coy and gentleman-ly, you’d know he was there more for me than for his BFF.

I looked away from him and over to my boyfriend.

“What happened to me?” I’d asked, my heart beating fast and my head still thump, thump, thumping. The doctor stood at the end of my bed, answered.

“You were involved in a car crash,” he’d said. “You don’t remember?”

My heart, though I didn’t think it possible, started up faster. I didn’t remember. The last thing I remember was, as I would come to find out (“Today is July 15th, 2019,” the doctor told me. I threw up immediately upon hearing that) a year ago.

“Will I be able to… I’ll be able to make new memories, right?”

That feeling of impending doom is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy; that feeling of knowing, not thinking, knowing your life is going to end is something I wouldn’t dare curse someone with. My fingers tingled, my breathing deep and quick.

“You should certainly spend a few more days with us so we can figure out how to proceed. We’ll need to perform something called a PET scan, and then…”

He droned on for a while, his words eventually slipping and slurring into the next as I zoned out, falling hard and fast once more into the knowledge that the last 365 days of my life, maybe more, maybe less, were gone. People I’d met, loved, hated; things I’d done, decided not to do; Gone. Still to this day I wake up in cold sweats as the realization and realness of that fact hits me like a truck. I’ve learned to cope somewhat, because, “After all, a year is *nothing* in the grand scheme of things, babe,” Paul will need to tell me almost every day for the foreseeable future. And it’s true, but it doesn’t stop the pain of knowing that I may never know what I once did.

I took Paul’s hand into mine as I felt the panic wash over my entire body. I pulled him to my body hooked up to so many machines and cried.

​

PAUL DAVIS.

I could see Chris in my peripheral seething with jealousy as Jane grabbed for me and not him. He’d always wanted my girl, he’d even say so. Of course, he’d say he was joking, but I knew him well enough.

“Hey man, let me know when you and chica break up. I’m cool with sloppy seconds.”

Direct quote.

But it’s as if seeing her through me wasn’t enough for him. Jerking off to her Facebook bikini pictures wasn’t enough. No, not for Chris. He needed her. So much so that as she cried in my arms, terrified of the idea, the knowledge, that her memory had been stripped away from her, he stepped in to take advantage of that.

“Jane, baby,” he’d said. “I’m right over here.”

I think we both chose to ignore the creepiness. That, or she didn't hear.

“You’re gonna be ok,” I said as I rubbed her warm back. I looked up to Chris and stared with a look that read “What the fuck, man?” Yes, he was my friend. Yes he was funny and we got along (and we knew each other since the 7th grade. Old habits die hard). But when it came to my girl, I couldn’t put up with it. At least not right then, in her most vulnerable moment.

“Jane, don’t you remember?” Chris started. “Paul, c’mon man. Let her go.”

Jane turned to him and stole the words from my mouth.

“Leave us alone, Chris!”

He couldn’t take that, ol’ Chrissy. He couldn’t stand that his plan wasn’t working. So he got angry.

“Paul, seriously dude! Tell her! Jane! I’m your boyfriend, baby!”

The desperation would’ve made me laugh if I were watching it happen to anyone else.

“Chris, please,” I’d said. “Doctor?”

The doctor walked over to Chris and asked him to please respect our wishes.

“And our privacy,” I added. Chris knew what that meant (kindly fuck off) and went berserk.

“Are you seriously fucking doing this to me, Paul! You know she’s my girl, you fuck! You slimy fucking prick!”

“Doctor, please!” Jane screamed.

“Security!” the doctor yelled. With arms wailing about like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum (only imagine it with a nearly 30-year-old-man) Chris was escorted out of the hospital screaming and, at one point, actually sobbing like a little child not getting what they wanted. And he didn’t.

The next few days he tried to get back into the hospital, but security stopped him every time. They asked if we wanted to press charges, and Jane and I discussed it. I personally wanted to, but she felt bad (probably because she was flattered in a way) and we decided not to. He tried calling, too, but once they marked down his number we had the staff just immediately hang up. Unless it was a medical emergency, of course. Even bat-shit crazy people don’t deserve to die. Or so I thought.

​

JANE WHITE.

My phone was destroyed in the accident, I didn’t even need to ask. I mean, look at what happened to my arm. My brain. A little rectangle of plastic didn’t stand a chance.

“Any kind of phone you want, baby,” Paul said as we walked through the store. I’d always found the T-Mobile aesthetic pleasing, the pink fluorescent lights shining from anywhere they could afford to stick them. (Is it weird that I picked a phone company based on their aesthetic and not, you know, their prices and coverage? No? Didn’t think so.)

I picked one out, a Rose Gold iPhone Whatever, and Paul paid for it. He put in my contacts, which surprisingly weren’t many: Him, with a heart next to his name, and… that’s it. Not my mother (which, brownie points for him remembering I hate my mother), not any friends (I don’t have any. Literally any, other than him. They’re either flakes and/or they feel the need to bully me for my life decisions, no matter how happy they make me). Nobody. Just Paul.

“What about work? Don’t I have a job?”

“Already in there,” he said smiling.

“I’m not cleaning floors, am I?”

Paul laughed as he turned a corner onto what I would come to know as our street.

“No, baby, you answer the phone and break people’s arms for payment.”

Paul had a floor cleaning business that I worked for. Got it.

Thank you for calling Davis’ All Floors, this is Jane, how can I help you?

When we got into the house he showed me around. Again. It was beautiful, don’t get me wrong, and I made a great choice in picking the place, but something, or somethings, were missing: All of my things. I laugh about it now, but God, it was then I started to think (and trust me, I feel so stupid even admitting this) that maybe Chris was telling the truth.

“Where are my clothes? It’s just all of your shit in here. We don’t share a toothbrush, do we?”

“We’re in the process of getting you moved out of your apartment. I’ll go pick up your shit later when I got off work. Your clothes, some furniture you said you wanted to keep, stuff like that.”

The weight of trepidation had been lifted from my shoulders, but mainly my chest, where anxiety was building too fast. I breathed and felt relief.

“You don’t want me to just do it? Just send me the address.”

“No, no, no, no, no,” he said, throwing on his blue-collared shirt, Davis’ All Floors stitched in white neatly over his heart. “I’ll do it. You need to rest today, baby.”

“Ok.” Trust me, I did. “How many jobs today?”

“Just one. A big one, though. A school we’re contracted with. Jamie and Adam are helping out so I’ll be home before 10.”

“Ok,” I said. And then I thought of him, and I felt sick, and I asked, “Does Chris work for you?”

“No.”

“Does Chris know where we live?”

“Yes.”

My stomach twisted. Paul was going to be gone for “a big job” and I was going to be stuck at home with only a door and its lock to protect me. Great. Oh, the windows you say? Right.

“I have a gun, babe, don’t worry.”

“Do I even know how to use it?”

“You did, can’t speak to your knowledge as of right now.”

“Not funny.”

He had to leave soon, but he’d show me the basics. As long as the safety was off and the clip was loaded, all I’d have to do is point and shoot. Well, cock it first, point it, shoot it. Which I really didn’t want to have to do. But “just in case” he’d said.

“Alright, dear, I’m headed out for the night. I don’t expect anything to happen, but if it does, you know what to do. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

And with that, the door shut behind him. Click. Locked. Good. I was about to run to lock it myself, soon as the door shut.

I’ve been with Paul since my senior year of high school. It’s kind of weird to call him my “high school sweetheart” since we’d only been dating for a few weeks before graduation, but that’s what, in all technicalities, he is. I’d see him around school, sometimes with Chris, a *lot* of the times with Winona; my ex best friend. Emphasis on the ex.

No, I didn’t stop being friends with her because she was dating the guy I liked. We broke up way before that. She was just a bitch, end of story. An insufferable bitch. Mean. Etcetera. So I stopped talking to her. It was after all that she started dating the guy I liked. Which, is that worse?

Well, eventually Paul came to the conclusion about Winona that most everyone else does, only sadly after he’d been permanently scarred. That’s when I stepped in and asked him out, promised to heal his wounds. Lick them, even. Wink.

Yes, the girl asked the guy out. Otherwise, I’d’ve only been known to him as his ex’s ex-best friend, and that wouldn’t do.

I moved out of my parents’ place into a dorm at ASU for four years after high school. Paul and I, yes, made sure to stay in as much contact as possible. It was Skype back then, not Facetime or any of that shit. Old school, bulky-laptop-on-the-bed Skype. Then after I graduated, we moved into a little apartment together. This was 2012, so six years ago. Seven, I mean. Sorry.

We broke up quite a few times. He could be… I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love Paul to death, but he could be *really* mean. Sometimes for no reason, sometimes for barely a reason, but mean, nonetheless. So I’d go back and forth between living at home and back in with him. Home, back, home, back. For years. I guess now we bought a house together. And I’m happy, obviously.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

The front door. My eyes shot from the TV to the pistol on the table in front of me. Paul “chambered the round” for me before he left, my arm being completely entombed in a hard blue cast and only able to move if I was in the mood for sharp, piercing pain, so it was ready to go.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

I took up the gun carefully (all safety precautions having been removed to make it easier for me to shoot, but also to accidentally kill myself if I tripped, dropped it) and walked to the front door. The pistol felt strange in my left hand. Most things feel strange in my left hand.

With my gun-hand I turned to the right the door’s lock, the barrel for a second facing way too close to my head. I left the chain at the top of the door latched and again, with the same hand, turned the handle and pulled on the door, propped it open with my socked foot.

It was Chris.

​

PAUL DAVIS.

I rarely check my phone when I work. I mean, it’d be hard even if I wanted to. Between using both my hands to power-wash granite tile floors and accessing hard-to-get-to places (despite the customer most likely never knowing whether or not I’d cleaned the carpet in the back of their under-the-staircase storage closet) I rarely glance at my screen. But that time, that night, I really wish I had.

Five missed calls from Jane, one voice message. Crying, sobbing, saying something about “he made fucking pictures!” I’ve never rushed anywhere quicker, never ran a red light in my life before or after that day.

Chris was in my driveway when I pulled up, sitting in his white idling truck. I was fucking fuming. I got out of my car and stormed up to his side of the truck nearly smashing in his window as I struck at it.

“Get the fuck out of here, Chris!” I screamed. “Leave me and Jane the fuck alone!” He rolled his window down just barely, but enough for me to get my fingers in and tear the fucking window apart if I’d wanted to. But I didn’t. He could’ve easily easily crushed my fingers, driven off with me stuck. I wasn’t going to push him. I knew how insane he could be.

“Paul,” he said somberly, his face emotionless but his eyes red and glossy with either tears of delusion or the side effect of some drug. Either/or. “Please give her back,” he said.

I shook my head.

“Chris, you need help.”

“Paul…”

“Chris, you need to leave. You need help, and you need to leave us alone.”

“Paul! Give her back! Give her back to me!”

If Jane wasn’t watching me, which I saw her doing from the side of my eye, her standing behind the window, fearful, my pistol in her hand, I would’ve broken the window and stabbed him with the fucking shards. Instead, breathing deeply, calming myself as much as possible given the situation, I walked to my front door and opened it just barely before the latched chain harshly halted its movement.

“Babe,” I said, her already walking over to the door to unlatch it. I stopped her before she could shut the door. “Just give me the gun.”

Jane stared at me.

“You’re not going to-”

“I’m going to do what needs to be done.”

I had to pull the gun from her hand. She asked what that meant, what I meant, but I didn’t answer. What I meant was what I’d said: I was going to do what needed to be done. If Chris didn’t leave, then-

But he did. He backed up and drove off as soon as I turned the corner onto the driveway, him obviously having seen the pistol and knowing I would use it. I did what needed to be done, and in this case, murdering him wasn’t yet needed.

​

JANE WHITE.

“You said he made pictures?” Paul asked as he sat next to me on our brown, pleather couch. “What do you mean ‘pictures’?”

Of me. And him. Together.

“Oh, they’re fake. Photoshopped,” Paul said definitively, like a final answer on a game show, like I didn’t already myself assume they were faked. Say they were faked.

“I know, Paul. I never thought they were real.”

“I know you didn’t,” he said quickly, clearly trying to make up for the assumption that I… That I what? Thought he was lying? Thought the photos were real? “I just… I didn’t want you overthinking anything, babe.”

Ha! I’d been doing that since Chris first called me ‘baby’.

“It’s just so creepy. He hasn’t even given me a day out of the hospital and here he is showing up to the house with fucking pictures of us.”

“He had a picture of me?”

“Us. Me and Chris.”

“Oh, yeah. That’s weird.”

Yeah. Weird.

“Babe,” he said after moments of silence. I looked over to him and he looked so serious. My stomach twisted, heart dropped. I thought, for a stupid second, that he was going to tell me… you know.

Just me overthinking.

“What?” I asked.

“If he comes back again, don’t bother calling the police.”

“What? Why?”

“If he comes back again, he might mean us harm. I need you-”

“How do you know? Paul, you’re scaring me!”

How did he know? I guess at the time I was oblivious to the real danger I was in; to the extent Chris was capable of going to make his delusions a reality. And I was sitting there asking how did he know.

“He had a gun in his truck, Jane.”

“What!” I screamed. I felt like I was going to throw up. A fucking gun. My heart started to race, my fingers tingling, my breathing deep and fast and harsh. “You can’t leave me here alone, Paul! You can’t! You can’t! You can’t!”

And then he told me that next time, if there was to be a next time, I would have to kill him. That, or he would kill me. Either/or.

“Why can’t you just stay home with me, Paul!”

I knew why, I just didn’t care. I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to die.

“Jane, Jane, listen…”

He drivelled on about how everything would be ok, everything would be fine. But then my vision started going black, and everything was not ok. Everything was not fine.

​

PAUL DAVIS.

I’d carried her into the bedroom, the wide open closet a reminder that I’d forgotten to get her clothes. Well, forgotten isn’t necessarily the best word. Making sure my girlfriend was still breathing was higher on my list of priorities that night. I laid her down on my bed and quietly placed myself next to her, me with a huge smile branded on my face.

Now, you might be thinking, “Paul, you were really quick to cut Chris off like that. And don’t you think telling your girlfriend to kill him is a bit too much too soon?”

Or maybe you’re not. I’m not.

Chris had been my friend for the longest time; 7th grade, I think I told you already. We were close for as long as he was weird. And that’s why I liked him, to be honest. He was off, and that was cool, you know? Cool to me wasn’t being popular. Cool to me was being weird. And he was, I guess that just comes with a price.

After high school we sort of went our separate ways, him to college and me working for my dad. We hung out whenever we could, but that wasn’t often. I spent a lot of my time with Jane, a girl we both knew in high school, Chris having liked her before me but her just picking me, I guess. Our friendship felt weird after (I’ve never denied it was my fault) but nevertheless we kept it going. Too many inside jokes we’d lose on other people.

Once he graduated we saw a lot more of each other, and he, as far as I could tell, had completely gotten over my girl.

“You’re still with Jane, that’s awesome man. She’s still so pretty. Wow. Just like I remember her.”

Innocent quotes like that eventually, as we fell deeper and deeper into our long-lost comfortability, vulnerability with each other, turned into calling himself a “sloppy second” and Jane a, “chica”. Direct quotes from the weird kid I once loved.

Yes, we were friends. Yes, we were close. But I had to make a choice, and with him saying things so shamelessly vulgar about my girlfriend to my face, it was an easy one to make once he started up his shit at the hospital.

I had just begun slipping into sleep when my phone rang, waking both me and Jane up, her from a deeper state than me, so her being less aware; easier to lie to.

“Who is it, love?” she’d ask. Mumble. A random number, I told her. Don’t worry about it, I said as I declined the call. Then, as soon as she fell back asleep, I slipped out of bed with my cell and called him back, sliding the patio door shut behind me.

“Chris,” I said.

“Paul, listen… I don’t know what else to do,” he started. He just wouldn’t fucking give it up, this delusion. I guess this is what you get for befriending the weird kids.

“How about this. How about you leave me and my girl alone. How about you move on with your life, and you let us move on with ours. Cool?”

“Paul, do you have your gun?”

My stomach twisted. He was right behind me, wasn’t he? With his gun, or a knife.

“Yes,” I said. “Why?”

“I want to meet you somewhere. Bring it with you so you know I won’t do anything to hurt you. Please, Paul. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Meet me for what? What else is there to say, Chris? It’s over.”

“I’ll pay you. I’ll give you anything. I just need you to tell her the truth and please, *please*, let her go. I need her back and she deserves to know.”

I smiled. Money’s good, but free money? To pretend to sell my girlfriend? Shit, I’ll take it.

“Where are we meeting?”

​

JANE WHITE.

I don’t remember why I woke up, though considering how vivid I remember the rest of that night, you’d think I’d remember the lead-up to it. It was either to pee or to get water, but I was up and it was early. One-in-the-morning early. In the darkness, though just barely, I could see that Paul was gone.

“Paul!” I yelled. Water or pissing, just like me. But he didn’t answer.

“Paul!” I yelled again.

Smash!

That sound, accompanied with sprinkles of glass hitting the floor somewhere outside of my bedroom; that was what I’d heard only seconds after opening my eyes.

“Jane! It’s just me, don’t worry! I’ll explain everything!” Chris yelled, either poorly pretending to be Paul or really as delusional as I was warned he was. In less than three seconds, he appeared dark in the doorway. I screamed, for what else was there to-

The gun!

I jumped over the bed and pulled open in complete blindness Paul’s nightstand drawer, reaching in for the pistol. It was gone. Fucking *gone*.

“PAUL!” I screamed, falling back to the bed and pushing myself as much as possible towards the wall behind me.

No response.

“PA-HA-HALLL!” I screamed, sobbing, as Chris inched slowly towards me, his one hand reaching out like I was a scared dog, him afraid of my bite. Except I had no bite.

“Please just come with me. Give me a chance to explain,” he said, his voice as shaky and scared as mine.

“PAAAAUL!”

“Let me show you where you really live, because it’s not here, Jane.”

His house is what he’d meant. His house where he would take me and keep me in his basement for torture. For pleasure.

“What do you want!”

“Just come with me, Jane. Please. We don’t have much time before he gets back and-” He stopped, turned around, turned back. “If he gets back he’ll kill me and you’ll never know the truth, Jane. Please.”

I didn’t have a gun. I didn’t have Paul. I didn’t have anything. If I didn’t listen, he’d kill me. If I did…

I had to make sure first.

“If I go with you, are you going to kill me?”

“No!” he said so confidently, quickly, like I was crazy for asking. “I’m not crazy. I don’t know what Paul has been telling you, but I’m not crazy. You two broke up a long time ago and-” He stopped again, turned around again, turned back again. “Please come with me. I’ll explain everything in the car. But we have to go now,”

Slowly, and why I let him I don’t know, he took my hand into his and pulled me up from the bed. I felt warm for a second. Safe. But only for a second. As he pulled me through the house and the reflection of the moon in the shards of glass on the floor shimmered in my eyes, I realized I was not warm. I was not safe. We stepped over and out through the broken window and silently, entirely in my head, I prayed for God to stop this. Stop this confusion. I just wanted to know the truth.

He opened the truck’s door on my side and smiled at me as I sat down. I shivered. Not warm. Not safe. I looked to my feet, opened and quickly shuffled through the glove compartment as he walked around the truck to his side. No gun, at least that I could find. I shut it firmly but quietly, pushing up on it just to make sure it stayed closed and I stayed pretty and innocent, unknowing in his eyes.

Chris got into the truck and started the engine, pulled away from my house.

“Where’s Paul?”

I don’t know why I didn’t ask earlier. Didn’t wonder earlier. I guess I was busy trying to stay alive.

“He’s fine. He’s maybe thirty minutes from his place.”

“Our place, Chris. I live there too.”

He shook his head.

“You don’t, Jane. You live in an apartment.”

“I lived in an apartment. I already know that. If you’re taking me there, you might as well turn around and bring me home because I already know my clothes and furniture are inside. You’re not showing me anything I don’t know.”

He looked at me, stared for longer than he should while driving, though the highway was deserted. A few semis.

“He told you?”

“Why wouldn’t he?” I asked. Chris got off at an exit, my apartment’s exit, I supposed. Hoped.

“What exactly did he tell you?”

“That we’re in the process of moving my things from my apartment to our place. Please take me home, Chris. You’re not thinking straight.”

“I am taking you home, Jane. And what he told you, that’s bullshit. You live in this apartment. Currently.”

He dangled the keys on the chain that hung from the ignition.

“You gave me a spare key to your place. Why would you give me a spare key, Jane? Think about it.”

“You stole it from me. Or… or Paul. You’re with him all the time.”

“No. We barely hang out anymore, Jane. He’s… he’s not right. Mentally.”

“Then why the fuck was he at the hospital with you?”

“I was with him when the hospital called. He just… tagged along. I didn’t think all of this shit would happen!”

His truck had one of those old-school, manual roll-down windows. I rolled mine down and stuck my head out, needing air, feeling like I was going to throw up. What the fuck was going on? I just needed the truth. But if I heard it, would I even believe it?

“Are those pictures of us real?” I asked. Of course, as expected, he’d say yes. No closer to nor farther from the truth.

“What’s my middle name?”

“Barbara,” he’d say so casually, not once looking from the street. Now, the paranoid Jane in me wanted to freak out, to believe he was telling the truth, but I try to be rational about things when my mind allows it (see: when I want to avoid a mental breakdown). There’s Facebook he could’ve looked me up on. He could’ve asked Paul. Hell, Paul’s been with me for years, I’m sure at some point he romantically spelled my full name out when Chris was near. You know, on a Valentine’s card or something. No, I wasn’t going to be convinced. Tricked. I needed to ask him something I would only tell my boyfriend. Something I would make him swear he’d never tell anyone.

“Why did my parents divorce?” I asked, barely getting the words out. Strange how, in a situation like this, being driven to God-knows-where by a man obsessed with me, I had the mental capacity to mourn what I could remember of the better days of my parents' union.

It was silent for a while. A few seconds before he spoke, the sound of his blinker.

“Your father… your dad would hit your mom. And cheat on her.”

“But also-”

“But also your mother would hit and cheat on him. You said your dad hit… your dad hit you. And your mom did too. And-”

“Ok. Thank you, Chris.” I didn’t need to hear anymore. I already knew that truth. And Paul, well... I guess we had some things to talk about. Privacy concerns.

“Jane, it’s me,” he said. He pulled into a parking space outside of an apartment complex—mine, I’d supposed. Hoped—and parked his truck. He looked into my eyes. “Please believe me.”

And then a phone call. It was Paul.

“Don’t answer it,” Chris begged. I didn’t know what to think. All I knew was that I needed to be comfortable. I needed to be home. I needed to be safe. I needed to be warm.

I answered the phone.

“Paul, call the cops! Chris took me to-”

His hand slammed over my mouth.

“Shut up!” he screamed. My heart was punching at the inside of my chest. “Jane, you’re not fucking *listening to me!*”

“MMMMMM!” I mumbled, the best rendition of ‘HEEELP!’ I could get out. Chris grabbed my phone, opened his door—“SOMEONE HELP ME!” I shot out as he momentarily let go, hoping in this early hour someone, anyone, would hear, care—and smashed my phone to the asphalt. He grabbed, slammed the door back shut.

“Jane, listen to me!” I think I heard him say hidden beneath my screams.

“HEEEELP! HEEEELP!”

“JANE FUCKING LISTEN TO ME!”

Not warm. Not safe. Not warm. Not safe. I didn’t want to know the truth, I knew my truth, my truth was Paul. Paul was warm. Paul was safe. I loved Paul. I needed Paul. Paul was my truth. Paul was my truth.

“Jane,” Chris said. “I love you.”

Thump, thump, thump, against my chest.

Paul was my truth.

“I don’t know what else to do,” Chris said.

My eyes stung with salty tears.

Paul was my truth.

“But everything I’ve told you is the truth,” Chris said.

No.

Paul was my truth.

“I was there for you when he hit you,” Chris said.

He would hit me, but he was warm. Paul was my truth.

“I was there for you when he cheated on you,” Chris said.

He would lie to me, but I was safe. Paul was my truth.

“I was there for you when you finally decided you wanted happiness,” Chris said.

Paul was my warm. Paul was my safe.

“And I will always be there for you. But you need to learn for yourself,” Chris said, “what the truth is.”

The inside of his truck blazed with flashing red and blue lights, the sound of sirens piercing through my body. Chris leaned in for what I can only now assume was to be a kiss had I not gotten out of the truck right then and there and ran into an officer’s arms.

“Where’s Paul!” I screamed. The officer told me to calm down, to breathe, that he was right over there.

“Babe!” I was falling into Paul’s warm arms. His safe arms. “I want to go home,” I cried.

“I know,” Safe said. “ We will.”

“He’s fucking crazy,” I sobbed.

“I know,” Warm said. “I warned you.”

As long as it took, the night soon ended, and a new day dawned. I was safe. I was warm.

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