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lucky-clover-gazette · 5 months ago

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prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 14

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

No Laurent. All signs of recent occupancy had been a handspan away from his own body, suggesting a night spent in close but not transgressive proximity: some kind of self-preservation had apparently prevented Damen from rolling inward during the night; from throwing his arm over Laurent’s torso and drawing them together to make the small tent seem larger than it was. As a result, Damen was in possession of all his limbs, and even had his clothing restored to him. Thank you, Laurent.

The embroidery came later, in the retelling, as the story was told again and again by the men, taking on its own character as it passed over camp. The Prince had ridden out, with only one soldier. Deep in the mountains, he had chased down the rats responsible for these killings. Had ripped them out of their hiding holes and fought them, thirty to one, at least. Had brought them back thrashed, lashed and subdued. That was their Prince for you, a twisty, vicious fiend who you should never, ever cross, unless you wanted your gullet handed to you on a platter. Why, he once rode a horse to death just to beat Torveld of Patras to the mark.

like how this ironic misunderstanding of the events is similar to how damen viewed laurent in book 1 and some of book 2. except now he gets the irony

He looked at Laurent’s tent of silks, the pennants unfurled in the breeze, their starbursts undulating. The distant voices of the men swelled briefly, then dropped away. It would not be like this. It would be a systematic campaign moving southwards towards Ios, building on the support he had from the kyroi factions. He would not be stealing out of camp at night to spin mad plans, to dress in unfamiliar clothes and forge alliances with rogue clans, or to fight alongside pony-riding warriors, capturing bandits improbably in the mountains. It would not be like this again.

‘Keep the prisoners alive, keep the women on side, keep my men from the women,’ said Laurent, as though reciting from a checklist. ‘Come over here and talk geography.’ He came as he was bid, and took a seat opposite Laurent, across the map.

they’re so cute i can’t stand them. “come over here and talk geography” SHUT UP

Laurent did not tend to show any of the usual outward signs of fatigue. The control that he asserted and maintained over the troop was an extension of the control with which he ruled himself. A few tells existed. The words, perhaps.

“the words, perhaps” is such a funny line here. because like yeah no shit, but also how is damen supposed to know when laurent’s words actually reflect his true feelings?

Instinctively, Damen brought his hand up to squeeze Laurent’s shoulder gently—and then stopped. Laurent went very still, as Damen became aware of what he had just done, and that his grip was still on Laurent’s shoulder. He felt the locked muscles like hard wood beneath his hand. ‘Stiff?’ said Damen, casually. ‘A little,’ said Laurent, after a moment in which Damen’s heart knocked twice against the inside of his chest.

one thing i really appreciate about capri is the way that laurent is written, as a character with trauma/baggage who experiences intimacy in a way you wouldn’t expect from the love interest in a romance novel. he doesn’t make anything easy, for himself or for damen. his physical and mental reactions to things are very telling and consistent, and i appreciate pacat’s commitment to honoring that aspect of the character. that way it’s so much more rewarding when we finally see laurent let go of control and experience love that doesn’t hurt him.

i won’t do an official count for “laurent intimacy issues,” since it’s not nearly as clear-cut as “laurent leans,” but if there’s something that strikes this chord with me, i do want to make note of it. just… stuff that i personally appreciate, especially from a love interest in a romance novel, whose whole narrative job—one would expect—is to love the protagonist and have hot sex. but sensitive and traumatized people deserve love and intimacy, too, at their own pace and on their own terms. and laurent has a lot more going on than what damen perceives, or what the romance genre dictates. it’s nice to point out little moments where his issues affect his physical and emotional reactions, because it’s nice to know that those moments 1) exist and 2) don’t make him any less of a romantic lead.

He applied a gentle pressure with his thumbs. He said, ‘You brought me ice, last night.’ ‘This,’ said Laurent, ‘is a little more—’ It was a word of sharp points: ‘—intimate,’ he said, ‘than ice.’ ‘Too intimate?’ Damen said. Slowly, he was kneading Laurent’s shoulders. He did not usually think of himself as someone with suicidal impulses. Laurent did not relax at all, just stood unmoving. And then, at the apsis of his thumbs, a muscle shifted beneath pressure, unlocking a sequence all the way down Laurent’s back. Laurent said, unwillingly, ‘I . . . There.’ ‘Here?’ ‘Yes.’

a lot going on here! made even more complicated by damen’s pov!

damen takes physical intimacy much less seriously than laurent. prior to book 1, he has always enjoyed willing and enthusiastic partners (some of whom were conditioned into that enthusiasm, but we’ll deal with that later), and to him, sex is not a means of abuse or power. prior to book 1, intimacy was never used to disempower damen. laurent, obviously, is very different. pretty much all he knows of intimacy is abuse and disempowerment.

so, being aware of laurent’s trauma and also being fairly perceptive of the signs pointing towards it, i can see here that laurent is fighting a massive battle with himself. because, like, he does want this. but he doesn’t want to want this, because this is something he doesn’t have control over. the fact that he doesn’t throw damen off, and even explicitly asks him to massage a certain spot, is a demonstration of vulnerability that damen doesn't really understand.

which isn't bad or wrong of him, at all! if he did understand more about laurent’s trauma and responses, he’d almost certainly be less confident with initiating intimacy, which is something laurent needs from a partner. it's a lot harder when they're both completely terrified (which damen is, in a different way, but lesser so.) damen is afraid that laurent will bite his head off because he’s a bitch, not because he’s traumatized. and i think that’s a good place for them to be, at this stage of their relationship.

also, the “suicidal impulses” quip is great.

He felt Laurent subtly give himself up to his hands; yet as with a man closing his eyes on the edge of a cliff, it was an act of continuous tension, not surrender.

yeah

‘Like this?’ ‘Yes.’

“he likes that. do it harder.”

Laurent’s head had dropped forward a little. Damen had no idea what he was doing. He was distantly aware that he had had his hands on Laurent’s body once before, and couldn’t believe it, because it felt so impossible now; yet that moment felt connected to this one, even if only in contrast, his current caution against the unguarded way he had let his hands slide down over Laurent’s wet skin.

damen, meanwhile, has recently developed his own intimacy issues/trauma in book 1. these two are a mess

‘Is it so hard to relax?’ said Damen, quietly.

YEAH. IT IS.

‘You only have to walk outside to see what you’ve accomplished. Those men are yours.’ He didn’t pay attention to the signs, the slight stiffening. ‘Whatever happens tomorrow, you’ve done more than anyone could—’ ‘That’s enough,’ said Laurent, pushing himself away unexpectedly.

damen he’s not stressed bc of the war stuff, he’s stressed bc another human being is showing him physical affection and he actually wants it to be happening

When Laurent turned to face him, his eyes were dark. His lips were parted uncertainly. He had lifted his hand to his own shoulder, as though chasing a ghost touch there. He did not look exactly relaxed, but the movement did look a little easier. As if realising that, Laurent said, almost awkwardly, ‘Thank you.’ And then, in wry acknowledgement: ‘Getting tied up leaves an impression. I didn’t realise being captured was so uncomfortable.’

ohhhhh my god. oh my god. so fucking real, every line is so fucking real. the relief of no longer being touched, being back in control. the fuckin, phantom touch on the shoulder—an assessment of the massage, yes, but also… whose ghost is it? damen isn’t asking that question, but i am, and it’s sad. and then the awkward thanks, and the immediate snarky comment to follow up. it’s just so real.

‘I promise I’ll never tie you to the back of a horse,’ said Laurent. There was a pause in which Laurent’s mordant gaze was on him. ‘That’s right, I’m still captured,’ said Damen.

says the protagonist of the “captive prince” series

‘Your eyes say, “For now,”’ Laurent said. ‘Your eyes have always said, “For now.”’

ohhh this line is juicy. because like, yeah, there’s the melancholy yearning context of the last 10 or so chapters, but before? when they were enemies, when laurent was actively hurting and trying to disempower damen? even then, he never showed laurent submission. and laurent clearly noticed. they make me so crazyyyy

‘If you were a pet, I would have gifted you enough by now to buy out your contract, many times over.’

this is more a flaw in my understanding of the pet system, but is he saying that he’s done damen enough favors that if the favors were monetary he could afford to pay off his contract? that’s my best understanding of the line at this point.

‘I’d still be here,’ said Damen, ‘with you. I told you that I would see this border dispute through to its finish. Do you think I’d go back on my word?’ ‘No,’ said Laurent, almost as if he was realising it for the first time.

they drive me insane. the whole “suffering alone” theme—laurent is realizing that he hasn’t been suffering alone, lately, because damen is intentionally staying by his side. laurent may be great at strategic thinking, but he is so used to being manipulated and abused that he doesn’t even consider that someone could be genuinely devoted to him, as a person.

But I know you don’t like it. I remember how much it maddened you in the palace, to be bound and powerless. I felt yesterday how badly you wanted to hit someone.

another interesting re-contextualization of book 1! although it’s not quite an apology, bc i’m sure laurent was aware of the maddening and was probably like “good. this guy killed my brother”

Damen found he’d moved without realising it, his fingers lifting to touch the bruised edge of Laurent’s jaw. He said, ‘The man who did this to you.’ The words just came out. The warmth of skin under his fingers in that moment took all his attention, before he became aware that Laurent had jerked back and was staring at him, blue eyes huge with pupil. Damen was suddenly aware of how out of control he was—he felt—and called violently on his faculties to try to put a stop to—this. ‘I’m sorry. I . . . know better than that.’

“i know better than that” is an INSANE thing for him to say here, by the way. they’re both so compelled by each other and afraid of each other. the amount of work pacat has put into their arc/characterization so far means that scenes like these can have something going on between every single line. honestly i think there’s more going on here off the page, than there is on it

‘No. Wait. I . . . wait.’ Damen stopped, and turned. Laurent’s gaze was edged with indecipherable emotion, and his jaw was set at a new angle. The silence stretched out for such a long time that the words, when they came, were a shock. ‘What Govart said about my brother and I . . . it wasn’t true.’ ‘I never thought it was,’ said Damen, uneasily. ‘I mean that whatever . . . whatever taint exists in my family, Auguste was free of it.’ ‘Taint?’

fascinated by the possible reasons for laurent to say this, in this moment. he uses it on the page to then say that damen is a good and honorable person like auguste, so that’s the easy answer. but if he was just experiencing some ptsd flashbacks, i wonder if this is also something of a grounding statement for himself. because we know who he’s referring to, when he’s talking about bad people on his family tree. it’s almost like he’s trying to figure out how to frame this situation, more for himself than damen—laurent feels protected and cared for in this moment, and the last time he allowed himself to feel that way after auguste’s death, his uncle had taken advantage. so of course he’s picturing his uncle. but this statement, a reminder to himself that damen is more like auguste than the regent, and auguste would have never done anything with laurent in the way the regent had… augh. laurent your brain.

‘I wanted to tell you that, because you,’ said Laurent, as though he was forcing the words out, ‘You remind me of him. He was the best man I have ever known. You deserve to know that, as you deserve at least a fair . . . In Arles, I treated you with malice and cruelty. I will not insult you by attempting to atone for deeds with words, but I would not treat you that way again. I was angry. Angry, that isn’t the word.’ It was bitten off; a jagged silence followed.

this is a laurent apology! no “sorry” necessary. and he’s the closest to telling damen the truth as he’s ever been, but still he stops himself. i wonder if it’s partially out of shame, for how he treated damen. a refusal to make an excuse, because he understands the cruelty of his actions regardless. and of course he has cognitive dissonance to maintain and tactical reasons for keeping the lie going. but still, this is honest.

Then, with a return to his more usual tone, ‘And you don’t need to take watch,’ said Laurent. ‘You sleep prudently.’

of course he can’t just say, like, “sleep well” or “good night.” prudently means carefully, or in good judgment… so like, he’d wake up if something dangerous happened? laurent trusts that? i can’t tell if the statement is an observation or a command. it’s either, “[i want you to] sleep mindfully” or “you sleep mindfully [so you don’t need to stay awake on watch].” hmmm

Damen searched his face, but found nothing in it that he could read, which, he supposed, as he lifted his hands to the laces of his own jacket, was typical.

buddy there is so much subtext going on here it’s okay just get some rest

#capri #sam reads capri #captive prince #prince's gambit #laurent of vere #damen of akielos #lamen

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himejoshikomaeda · 6 months ago

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i'm kind of curious what you like about lostword. never really tried it myself n all.

— io

1. really easy to get your favorite characters

2. really easy to make your favorite characters viable no matter who they are

3. game isn’t very hard — no artificial difficulty spikes that force you to spend money to max out a unit or whatever. on that note, leveling up and upgrading units doesn’t take much time at all, allowing you to use lots of your favorite touhou characters if you’d like to.

4. the only characters that would probably require real money to aid in acquiring are the game’s made-up alternate universe versions of characters that i can’t imagine anyone giving a shit about. (sorry guys i’m never going to want to spend money so i can have.. sci fi space warrior sanae)

5. no temptation to buy anything in the store because the prices are all absurdly high. i will literally never be tempted to spend 80 dollars on a microtransaction. i consider this point to be a positive, because what is being sold is completely unnecessary.

6. game is written by perverts.

7. protagonist is a girl. this can’t be changed.

8. the main story is FANTASTIC. it’s really really really cool. finishing chapter 3 is what made me gush last night. the hifuu story is really cute too.

9. this might be something not everyone cares about, but the characters are very touchy-feely with each other, and with the protagonist. it’s very nice. i like when characters are handsy. skinship is compelling to me

10. writers aren’t pussies about yuri (important)

11. there is never not an event story going on (they rerun old events in between new ones), so if grinding event points is fun for you (it’s fun for me), that’s always an option no matter what.

12. great autobattle features. lots of customization for autobattles and auto-rematches for grinding materials.

13. despite what i just said, grinding is honestly optional. you don’t need to grind for levels, because levels come easily, and you don’t need to grind for materials after a while, because they give you so many.

14. story card (equippable items basically) art is cute. where would we be without modelo patchouli and her fat thighs?

15. despite having the usual scarlet devil mansion bias, a LOT of more obscure characters get a lot of spotlight, especially in event stories. one i remember enjoying a lot starred seija, sagume, and.. shizuha aki.. as the main characters (along with the protagonist of course). there are lots of cases like that.

16. characters all feel like they love you without it feeling at all like a harem game. sorry if this is cringe but don’t fucking lie and say you don’t want to be loved by the cast of touhou.

17. less of a point for me because i’ve been playing it since launch, but my girlfriend got into it recently and they have been ABSURDLY generous with her as a new player.

there are obviously criticisms to be had with the game (it’s a mobile game, it’s not perfect or anything by any stretch of the imagination), but you asked me what i liked about it. i’ve had a lot of fun with it in my time playing it, and my girlfriend is, like, obsessed with it, just getting into it.

#💘

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trainsinanime · 7 months ago

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Fuck I hate Android version numbers so much.

“Oh look me at I’m so cute this version is called Upside Down Cake, or U, or 34, which obviously means 14”

Fuck you all. You can complain about a lot of stuff Apple does, but at least they’re not Google and iOS 16 is just iOS 16.

#Android #software development

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coldshrugs · 1 year ago

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7, 10 and 14 for estinio please 😍

thank you kels!! ough i am a puddle after this......

7. Do they (or would they) pursue the other character’s affection, and if so, how? Do they tell the other character how they feel? Try to earn their admiration? Woo them with romantic gestures? Flirt with them, skillfully or otherwise?

Once each of them actually realizes they have a thing for the other, they don’t not pursue it?? But those realizations happen months apart, so it’s weird!

Estinien, privately, acknowledges his feelings much earlier than Io, and so much is happening that he decides it's better to keep that to himself so he's not piling more things on her plate (and avoiding any potential awkwardness, here, at the end of all things). But it's hard for him sometimes? He's used to saying what he means when he means it, or even better, demonstrating things through action. Instead, he's more intentional about flirting or opting to spend time together. He's more aware of where they are in relation to each other when in the same room, and he consciously shifts closer. It's low-key enough that most people would not discern a difference in behavior.

Io, luckily, gets to spend most of this time relatively oblivious. At some point, she does realize she has a crush but tries to talk herself out of it (unsuccessfully). When the Big Feelings hit, she is in very deep. With her acceptance of this comes the pursual of lots of time together. Sure, not much else is commanding her attention then, but she makes a lot of space for Estinien. Her flirting is earnest and reserved. Occasionally, she'll bring flowers to spruce up his chambers. She's actually so slick with this, barging in very Friendly, digging through his shit to find a vessel for them, then they'll head out for whatever they're up to for the day. But when he returns, there's the very obvious gesture she's left for him, something to keep her on his mind (as if she wasn't already).

10. What scares them about entering a relationship?

There's some small worry at first that they've misread some signals, that the affection isn't shared, etc. But this is quickly cleared up. They are so so certain about each other, but it's natural to want that reassurance? Once they have it, there's no fear.

14. What makes them feel loved? Would they build up the courage to ask for it?

This is so cute to think about omg, here we go.

Io: when Estinien speaks about them as a unit, using "we" or "us" statements. taking off her glasses if she falls asleep while reading. holding her hand in public. being guided through crowds, either by the hand or with a hand on the small of her back (during times of high anxiety or overstimulation). listening whenever Estinien feels like rambling feels very special to her. patience with her.

Estinien: Io leaning into him/wordlessly initiating cuddling while he's doing other things. listening to her hum, something she only does when very stressed or very comfy. small acts like bringing dinner, helping put on or remove his armor, or starting a bath for him after a long day--things that make his life a little easier and sweeter, even if he could do them himself. feeling heard and respected when he shares knowledge or advice.

They would 100% ask for the physical affection they need if they weren't getting it, but so many of the other things that make them feel loved are things they Just Do.

#asks #io/estinien #i feel like i didn't answer these The Right Way but. i had fun #also i never format my asks in a uniform way T^T maybe this way is okay #anyway. i have two more asks that i will answer tomorrow. it's sleepy hours right now

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creationsbyast0ner · 2 months ago

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hey guys!! happy september 🎃! i’m so happy it’s fall szn but where i live currently it’s like 80s rn but nice at night😭! hope u all r doing okay! i wanted to try a horror/halloween theme to see what kinda traction id get. let me know if its to early yall LMFAO love u all 🧡

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planetary · 11 months ago

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here i answered some of those bg3 character asks on my own 👍 if any of this is inconsistent with Actual dnd lore sorry i dont know shit. my city now ^_^ IO BLAST 💥

1: Where in the Faerûn is your Tav from?

underdark. scary spidery part of it

2: What is your character's alignment?

chaotic good. mostly.

3: Race and subclass?

seldarine drow, tempest domain cleric of selûne

4: If your Tav was a companion, where would they be found?

probably around that temple ruin you discover withers in at orrr at the goblin camp breaking into the selûnite temple lmao. she’s been there before so she just wants to get to a familiar place to sit while she processes wtf is going on

9: Is your Tav from Baldur's Gate? Why are they travelling there?

i dont think so. she doesn’t really live anywhere she just fucks around. she’s going there bc her companions want to and she doesnt have anything else to do. she left the underdark thru that temple in the game so unless she wandered pretty far, shes from around the act 1 area

10: Are they proficient in playing any instruments?

no and she’s actually hilariously awful at it. when she played the spider lyre the drider that showed up was like good fucking lord knock it off

11: Weapon of choice?

i always draw her with the blood of lathander but i think right now she has a deva mace i got from killing a deva after robbing a shrine and getting cursed. so. maces

13: What are their thoughts on killing? Is it a necessary evil or do they enjoy it?

its not really her first choice but it is her second one. like if just being friendly doesnt work out after 2 minutes shes like well gang i guess we just have to kill these guys.

14: What hobbies does your Tav have?

i think she likes sewing and robbing people and breaking into places and stealing

17: Do they enjoy life as an adventurer?

yeah she loves just fucking off doing whatever

18: What would your Tav be doing if they weren't kidnapped on the Nautiloid?

fucking off doing whatever. worshipping selûne and just being loose in the woods i think. maybe breaking into someone’s basement

19: How do you think they'll meet their end?

either trying to forgive someone who does not want to be forgiven OR that assassin that’s hunting her is going to fucking get her. you know how it is with the assassin

21: What is your Tav's favorite spell?

CALL LIGHTNING!!!!!!

22: What languages is your character fluent in?

um. common. drow…? is that a thing. she’s learning the githyanki language also. and apparently she knows infernal

24: Does your character believe in the afterlife?

yepyep since im pretty sure thats a selûne thing right

25: What arcana major best represents your Tav?

ah man i have to think of all of them. major arcana… fuckkk. ill get back to u. whatever the future tense of the tower is. she already burnt everything down and rebuilt from the ashes. her character development at this point is learning not to lace her corset so tight and being really proud if her friends

26: What animal best represents your Tav?

maybe a birdie. cute little bird. or a snake. not a hostile snake though just one of the ones that hangs out and chills

27: What was their life like before the events of BG3?

she was born into house helvindar in the underdark and was raised as a war cleric of lolth (EVIL SPIDER GODDESS!). was a really good one. made a lot of sacrifices and had a looot of potential. people knew of her and were sometimes even impressed by her ruthlessness and devotion. but she started realizing that lolth didnt really have a goal, she just wanted to create chaos. they weren’t working towards anything. there was no purpose for any of this. and as she started doubting her faith she started developing empathy and got resentful of all the things she’d done just for ultimately nothing, not even her goddess’s favor. eventually she discovered that abandoned selûnite temple down there and made up her mind that she was going to flee the underdark. her elder sister found out and followed her there, they fought, but ultimately io escaped into the surface temple and stumbled outside all bloody and disoriented. she saw the moon for the first time and since it was an old selûnite temple that’d granted her escape she sought out others and eventually became a cleric of selûne. her eye was damaged in the fight with her sister, and has been replaced with a moonstone as a gift of recognition from selûne. she’s very devoted but due to her beginnings as a lolth worshipper she doesnt take any issue with whoever serving shitty or people. she’s like well shit happens. I’d like if you stopped torturing people but i believe in freedom and choices so no pressure

28: Is your character the de facto leader of the party? Or do they consider someone else to be the leader?

yeah she is but she does kind of consider lae’zel to be running this shit sometimes since she knows the most about mindflayers and all that. she just happens to be a good influence on everyone by accident by being so chill and accepting of everything

30: What's your favorite thing about your Tav?

i like her kind of like. internal conflict sort of? like she’s very sympathetic and open to forgiving/helping people who are fucked up bc she used to be fucked up like she was ritual sacrificing kids which apparently drow do, crazy shit!!! but she struggles with knowing like, how far to go. she knows not everyone can be helped/saved and she’s ultimately fine with killing them if she’s gotta. but she wonders sometimes if she gave up too early or if she gave the other person too much leeway. like… at what point is it not worth trying to help someone anymore. she also worries that her nonchalance and acceptance of “evil” people is going to put her friends in danger cuz she likes to trust people. she forgets people can and will lie. every betrayal is a surprise for her bc she wants to believe everyone is as upfront and open and honest as she is and then shes like FUCK. which is fun :)

and finally here is the desc for tempest cleric that i love so much for her;

Your faith has made you the very thunder that quakes the black firmament, the lightning coursing through the veins of a terrible storm.

#io

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